What is up bros and welcome to the All Bros Podcast, I am Jonathan.
And I am Caleb.
And we are a couple of aspiring filmmakers that love to watch and critique movies but
also enjoy a lot of bit of the nerd life.
This week on the podcast we'll be skipping over Funko Focus and 4K Spotlight.
Nothing caught our eye with Funko and 4K is really just a bunch of re-releases.
If you guys really want to know, it's the Outsiders and the Addams Family both coming
to 4K.
Well sorry, the 1990 live action Addams Family movie.
So yeah, so we'll be skipping over those two and then we'll be just straight up jumping
into Through the Wall which will be covering a trailer.
I think it's, I've heard it's the second trailer but I've also heard it's a TV spot so I don't
know.
Technically we'll just be covering two TV spots of a show coming out as well as a trailer
for a movie coming out next month.
Or when does this movie come out?
That is an excellent question.
I have no idea.
I hope we get an excellent answer.
Yeah, it is coming out January 28th, 2022.
Okay so it doesn't come out until next year but anyway.
So we'll be talking about those and then we'll be jumping into our headliner of the evening
which will be our breakdown of M. Night Shyamalan's movie, Old.
Hell yeah.
So yeah, what do you say we get started Caleb?
Say let's do it.
Hey guys, I'm Crash, host of the podcast Crash & Tez's movie seller.
On our show, me and my co-host pick a new movie each week and rate each movie on a few
categories that we think are important to making a great movie.
After we rate the movie, it gets a final rating and that lands it somewhere on our seller
scale where it will get labeled as either a well, premium or a top-shelf film.
Catch us on platforms like Spotify, Google, Amazon Music and more and don't forget to
follow us on social media.
On Instagram as Crash & Tez's movie seller, it's Crash the letter N Tez movie seller with
underscores in between each word and on Facebook Crash and Tez movie seller.
Where you as a listener can suggest movies for us to rate and also give us some constructive
criticism to make the show more entertaining.
Overall, don't forget to follow or subscribe and rate and review us and get ready for an
entertaining to show with us.
See you guys then.
Alright so I just want to point something out really quickly.
You can put podcasts on Amazon Music?
Yeah, we're on Amazon.
Oh we are?
Oh, I never do that.
Yeah, if you have an Alexa or something like that you can say Alexa like turn on the All
Bros podcast.
That's so bitchin'.
How did I not know this?
I don't know if it still currently works because we switched over to Podbean but last time
I checked we were still on Amazon Music so it should work.
Dope.
That's pretty freaking cool.
Not gonna lie.
Yeah right?
Anyway moving into our Through the Walls segment because like I said we're skipping over Funko
Focus and 4K Spotlight.
We got two TV spots, I'm gonna stick with calling them two TV spots, for Hawkeye to
talk about.
And oh my god I'm so hyped for this fucking show.
I still can't believe that my favorite superhero is finally getting his moment in the spotlight.
I know right?
Finally his own TV show.
How much?
I'm assuming with like how much screen time he's gonna get.
He's gonna be like the main focus of this show and maybe like share it a little bit
with Kate but will he be...
I wanna know how much extra screen time those additional like six hours are going to give
him in like the whole of like the MCU.
Like that will put him above Hulk for sure.
That's true.
If he's not already above Hulk.
I'm willing to bet it put him above Widow too.
Yeah shit I didn't think about that.
I wanna see.
Like just...
I'm gonna see if someone has a chart of...
I'm pretty sure people have done that.
I've seen it before.
Alright let's see here.
That'll be cool if it wasn't super freaking tiny.
Yeah so I'm not sure where...
I'm not 100% certain where this puts...
Geez.
Okay I'm not sure where this chart is like accurate on like putting him like to what
movie it's like it's updated to but it has Tony Stark at four hours and 55 minutes.
Holy shit.
So maybe that's like on screen time.
Yeah okay that makes sense.
But Hawkeye or so yeah Hawkeye is at 33 minutes total.
That's it?
Yeah like I said that's what they have him at.
So that's 33 minutes total so plus those six hours that puts him well above Iron Man.
And I'm assuming he's not going to be on it for the full six hours like he's not going
to be on screen.
Yeah.
So it probably put him in line with like at least Captain America.
I think so because honestly I feel that they're probably going to like evenly split it between
Clint and Kate and I'm totally okay with that.
But holy shit I didn't know Tony Stark had that much.
God damn.
I mean it makes sense he is you know freaking RDJ.
Yeah right.
So with these trailers you don't really get a lot.
It's kind of like the same stuff that we've seen in the trailer with a couple of new items.
I have a couple that I want to point out with.
The one opening for one of them is freaking Kate in a freaking elevator talking to this
elderly woman and she's just like can I tell you a secret?
I'm working with an Avenger.
And then like honestly that would be like a really good prelude into the next TV spot
because the next one has I'm assuming I'm assuming this is Kate's mom.
I think her name is Eleanor Bishop.
Yeah that sounds about right.
Yeah.
So she's talking to both Kate and Clint and she's just like so Kate's helping you with
an Avengers level threat and Kate's just like yeah he's my partner and Clint's just like
yeah that's kind of a stretch.
But like you said it's like most of the stuff that we've seen in the first trailer with
like some extra added stuff like Clint points out you know if you want to be a superhero
there's a lot of stuff involved especially a lot with danger and she's just like yeah
but you get like cool costumes and you know trick arrows and I'm just like you know what
she's got a point.
And one of the coolest freaking shots is when I'm assuming Clint's driving and they're on
a freeway and freaking Kate is trying to freaking nail one of the one of the guys in this one
car and she's just like kind of like struggling a little bit just to get it perfect her arrow
perfectly aligned it's just such a cool shot.
And then there's one where they both freaking like swing down from a building and like fall
over a freaking train.
No not wait no not fall over a train.
Kind of like they graze over it?
Yeah that sounds about right.
Okay it just like you see you don't really get like a lot of new story details but you
get such really cool that I feel they were definitely worth talking about.
It just gets you more hyped for this show and the fact that we're getting the first
two episodes on November 24th is amazing.
And I like it absolutely makes sense when you see when the final episode is supposed
to premiere I think it's like December 22nd so if they were to have just released one
episode each week it wouldn't have finished till the 29th and that kind of wouldn't have
made sense considering that this is you know based around Christmas time.
So all I can say is I'm so freaking stoked for the show it just needs to be here already.
Oh my gosh it looks like it's so much freaking fun.
Like you know ever since the MCU entered the show territory on Disney Plus WandaVision
has still been my favorite.
I loved WandaVision but I think Hawkeye might take the spot.
We both know it's going to whether it's like a shitty show or not.
You know what fair enough yeah it's definitely going to take the spot because as
everyone knows I'm a Hawkeye whore and anything Hawkeye I'm going to watch till I can't watch
it no more.
I have a feeling I'm going to be watching these first two episodes until the next week
like five times each just to catch every single little detail that I can.
That's how I'm going to be with the show because the fact that they're basing this on Matt
Fraction's comic which I unfortunately haven't finished I need to finish it because I've
heard it's such an amazing Hawkeye story.
So I really just need to sit down and finish that damn thing.
But just the fact that they're the baseline of the show is based around that they're kind
of adding their like couple new things to it.
I just feel that the show is going to be very special and I just can't wait for it to premiere
can November 24th be here already gosh damn it.
Yeah dude I am so freaking pumped.
It's going to be so good.
Like all the I don't think that there's been a miss yet when it comes to the these shows.
No I would definitely agree there has been some that I'm just like okay you know like
I didn't like it as much as the last one but I haven't hated any of the MCU shows so far.
Yeah same here.
I think the biggest one for me that was like I wouldn't consider it like a total miss but
that I wouldn't put on the same level as everyone else would be the what if and I loved the
what if series so much but I can absolutely agree with you.
I would have almost preferred individual stories rather than one overarching.
Yeah that's honestly I did not see that coming at all with that ending that how the watcher
was just going to take a bunch of these Marvel characters from these different realities
and make them the defenders of the universe.
Or the what do they call them the guardians of the multiverse.
That's what it was sorry.
I couldn't remember if he said the defenders of the guardians because I know it wasn't
the Avengers.
Yeah but I'm hoping for good things.
I think one you've got a killer storyline to follow and on top of that you got killer
actors like you're going to have to try really hard to screw this up.
Seriously like ever since the first Avengers as the MCU has gone along Jeremy Renner has
been able to showcase how he can do the sarcasm when it comes to Clint Barton because we all
know Clint Barton is a sarcastic asshole but that's why we love him.
And so I think that this show is going to be able to really let him push his comedic
chops and like fully showcase how he was perfectly picked to play Clint Barton slash Hawkeye.
I mean we all know he was but I feel at least I know he is.
But I think this show is going to be able to really showcase that he was and Haley Steinfeld
has shown how great she is with comedy The Edge of Seventeen has become one of my favorite
films I've ever seen.
Yeah that show is such a good movie if you guys haven't seen it we highly recommend that
one.
See it is one of the best coming of age stories in my opinion.
Yeah but I'm assuming you're at a 10 with this like I don't think that's any question.
No not one bit.
Yeah I'm about a 9.
You son of a bitch.
No I'm not.
I'm kidding I'm kidding bro I'm kidding.
Yeah I'm sitting about a 9 just to be a contrarian I guess.
I freaking knew it.
No I'm really excited for this for this series.
I don't know what's what's got me I think it's with just these like the TV spot or whatever
it's just I don't know like I feel like it's just giving away stuff in the show.
Like I'm hoping a lot of the stuff that we see in the show is this is in those first
couple episodes because I don't want to know where this story ends or where it's going
at all like I want to be surprised when I go into it.
Same.
So yeah I'm sitting about a 9.
Okay I like it.
I'll deal with it.
I'll accept it.
I said oh my gosh sorry I forgot that I was leading this episode.
Yeah I'm just like all right let's do it.
Come on Rose.
Yeah all right job.
All right moving on to our second Through the Wall bit we got the second trailer for
Morbius which will be coming in January.
So I will fully admit I know absolutely I think I already admitted this with the first
trailer I know jack shit about Morbius.
Same here.
Oh okay cool.
So okay that's not necessarily true.
The only things that I know about Morbius come from the 90s Spider-Man show.
See I don't even remember Morbius from the 90s show.
It's because he was a lot different.
He did have that same look like really long black hair kind of had that vampiric look
about him but instead of him being obsessed with blood and being like that kind of like
vampire he wanted plasma and instead of biting people he would absorb the plasma through
their hands or through his hands.
That's Morbius from the 90s show okay.
Yeah.
Yeah now I remember him.
So that's like I'm assuming it's a completely inaccurate representation because Morbius
is like how they're representing him in this show where it's more like vampiric and he
wants blood.
Yeah they probably didn't want to put that in a like rated G kids show.
Yeah.
Well no that show kind of got dark sometimes.
Dude it didn't apparently and I I had like a really hard time believing this apparently
throughout the entire 90s Spider-Man show Spider-Man never threw a punch at anyone.
What the what?
Yeah apparently they did not want to promote violence that way so Spider-Man never punched
people.
And I was like no that's bullshit like I remember him punching people like left and right and
yeah apparently he didn't.
So he literally just fought with his webbing that's it.
Yeah with his webbing and I think he would like swing and kick people which might have
yeah which I'm like seriously.
That's a double standard so kicking is okay but punching is not okay.
Yeah so I'm like that's that's let me just.
Fuck this shit.
Whoops.
Technical malfunctioning here on the Albrows.
Yeah so I have fast keys for the for the soundboard and I forgot I wasn't supposed to yeah they
said 90s Spider-Man was wasn't allowed to punch people.
That's so dumb.
Yeah that is like ridiculously dumb.
So yeah never threw a punch.
Okay well you know what that gives me an excuse to go watch that show again.
So yeah I know right just to be like hey like you missed one.
Oh man.
God that's so crazy.
Okay well anyway Morbius trailer number two.
Yeah.
Thoughts.
I have a lot of thoughts.
This is a very very interesting trailer with the things that they mix in and like they're
combining.
Like I think this comes out right after Spider-Man into the or I almost said into the multiverse.
So dumb.
They honestly could have called that.
I know right.
This comes out like just like one month after No Way Home does.
No Way Home is as we know is going to introduce the multiverse and possibly merge universes
and that's what I think we're getting here because Morbius and like in reference to this
he knows Vulture from Spider-Man Homecoming because Michael Keaton's in this.
So freaking cool.
I love that.
So we have that Tom Holland Spider-Man tie-in.
He is walking through an alley and we see Sam Raimi's Spider-Man poster with like murder
like written over it in like graffiti.
So we know that there's like some sort of tie to the Raimi universe or whether that
be fan art or whatever but I'm assuming like it was it's straight up the Sam Raimi Spider-Man
like it was so clear as day like there's no mistaking it.
Like oh that could be Tom Holland.
No like it is absolutely not Tom Holland.
Yeah no.
So there's that tie-in and then we also get a tie-in at the end when someone's like who
are you and he's like I'm Venom and then he's like I'm just kidding I'm Morbius and I'm
like okay so he knows who Venom is too.
Yeah so freaking three universes what the shit.
Yeah there's three universes so I'm like these universes are getting combined.
Like that's my ultimate theory.
They're getting combined and yeah or something like they're getting like mixed together or
something like that because there's no way.
There's no way that they're going to be like I don't know I don't know how they would address
it if they didn't do that.
I feel like it's going to be like a play-doh situation where you're just kind of mixing
everything together and you just can't quite get all the bits and pieces out.
Oh yeah dude don't remind me of that shit.
But that's just a kid.
That's my theory.
I think there's just going to be a perfect mixture of everything.
And so we're going to get oh like I think that the MCU is getting to a point where they're
like oh we want to pick and choose some like oh we want some of this from this universe.
We want some of that from that universe and I think that's what they're doing.
Like I think they're nitpicking and being like alright everything else can go like away.
Like we want Venom.
We want Morbius.
We want Sam Raimi's Spider-Man.
Everything just like that costume design idea.
Like we want those and everything else can go away.
Sorry Andrew Garfield.
Yeah right.
I feel like that's super shitty.
But yeah I found it very interesting that he's a doctor suffering from this.
He did say it's incurable right?
But then.
Yeah it's like sickle cell something.
Yeah but then he goes to try to like he goes I don't can't remember where he goes to try
to find a cure for it.
And doing so because there's a lot of people other people suffering from it besides himself.
He goes to god where the hell does he go?
Do you remember?
Basically the Batcave.
There we go yeah.
And doing this and finding the cure or at least the so called cure that is how he becomes
Morbius.
Yeah so he goes and gets like bushwhacked by some vampire bats.
Like that's where he thinks that the cure lies is within vampire bats.
And doing something to the vampire bats and getting them to like absorb the blood or whatever
I don't know the exact science of it all but I'm assuming that's what he thinks it happens
and so he goes gets bit and then like just slowly starts becoming more and more vampiric.
But it does like heal him but it also the fix is temporary if he doesn't feed on people.
And so he's like trying to control this monster inside him and only attack those that deserve
it and kind of becomes an anti-hero.
Yeah and honestly I'm always a fan of anti-heroes so I will absolutely take that story.
Yeah I feel like that's a very popular thing right now like anti-heroes.
It honestly is and I mean do you feel it's been overdone at all?
Honestly I love that I love it when superheroes like blur that line between good and evil.
So I'm personally a really big fan of that.
Like my favorite heroes a lot of my top favorite heroes are considered anti-heroes.
Like Hulk is technically considered an anti-hero in most instances.
There's some where he has like a little bit more control over himself and then that is
where he becomes like more of a hero.
But some of my favorite instances is ones where he's considered the anti-hero.
Like the immortal Hulk storyline he's not really considered a hero.
And yeah so like just a bunch of other storylines like that.
So I really like him, I really like Punisher.
Punisher is definitely considered an anti-hero.
Oh yeah definitely.
Ghost Rider same thing with him.
They're ultimately like they're doing things to bad guys but they're doing it in such a
brutal way that it's considered like almost villainous.
So it's like most heroes like Captain America isn't going to give his thumbs up on the way
that they handle it.
But I think like ultimately he's going to be like okay well I'm not going to come after
you either because it's technically a bad guy.
So I love when they blur those lines and then I think they're doing the same thing with
Venom kind of making him more of an anti-hero.
But I wouldn't even consider him like an anti-hero.
It's kind of like an anti-villain.
No that is very true.
That is very true.
Yeah like I think if there was like a scale of good and bad Venom's like or most anti-heroes
are in the middle leaning more towards good.
Venom's in the middle leaning more towards bad.
Yeah.
I think that's probably why I love him the most.
I know it's just something different.
Like I love when they show it's just those little things of being different.
So I'm all for it.
Bring on the anti-heroes.
And I would even be on the team of making the superheroes like the goody two shoes like
Spider-Man or Captain America or Iron Man making the heroes like that the protagonists
or the antagonists.
That would actually be a very cool idea.
Yeah just seeing how anti-heroes people who don't want to do bad things but want to be
like as brutal.
I would love to see Punisher take on like Captain America where Captain America is the
antagonist.
Where Punisher is trying to do something and Captain America just keeps getting in his
way and then it leads to like an ultimate brawl between the two.
And then seeing what they could do with blurring the lines with Captain America.
I think that would be so cool.
Like such an interesting story.
Yeah I can definitely agree with that.
Because I think like completely evil villains are boring, completely good heroes can be
boring.
It's always like somewhere in the middle.
That's where like my interest lies.
No no I can absolutely agree with you there.
And then like also with um I'm trying to think like other heroes like Nightcrawler is also
one of my favorites and Daredevil those heroes that are struggling with their own morals
or religious beliefs too.
Like I love those storylines too.
They're just like okay I'm doing this I'm doing this thing that's technically a sin
but I'm doing it to bad people so like where on this line of morality am I?
Like I love that shit so much.
And so I think that's like with Morbius he's not a bad guy.
Like he's an anti-hero.
He's leaning more towards good or trying to.
But it's this control of this hunger that he has.
So it's kind of going to be the same issue that Venom has.
He's just like can I eat this guy?
No.
Yeah.
It's true.
So I'm completely down for this.
I'm super pumped.
Yeah I mean I wouldn't say I'm still very very interested in this movie.
One out of ten where are you sitting at?
Let's say I'm probably like at a seven.
That's fair.
I'm up at like an eight.
Not much higher than you but just a little bit.
All right.
Nice.
But hell yeah.
So good trailer.
Oh yeah.
Definitely one we're adding to our breakdown list.
Oh yeah.
Definitely.
Well unless you have anything else you want to talk about with Morbius?
No I think I'm good.
All right cool.
Well then let's jump into our headliner.
What do you say?
Hell yeah.
All right.
So this week on our Albrows headliner we'll be breaking down M. Night Shyamalan's newest
movie, Old.
So Caleb do you want to tell everybody how we break down movies on this podcast?
Hell yeah.
So if you are new to our breakdown system we have split movies into eight different
categories that we individually grade to come to a final Albrows letter grade.
The eight categories that we score are story, writing, acting, character development, but
with this being a suspense slash thriller movie we're actually going to follow the rules
that we set in place for horror and make this like logic.
And just like did this movie follow the rules that they set in place?
And then we have effects, music, costumes, and then we give it our own personal grade
at the very end.
So with that Rose is about to spoil the entire damn movie for you so if you have not seen
Old, definitely go give it a watch.
It's definitely worth watching.
It's definitely at least in my opinion one of Shyamalan's better films.
Yeah and we'll get into how this movie is I guess.
Because it's an interesting one.
It is definitely an interesting one.
It's no last airbender we will tell you that right now.
Yeah it's not like complete and utter shit.
Yeah it's not that bad Shyamalan.
Alright so, married couple Guy and Prisca Kappa are going through a divorce.
To avoid saddening their young children Maddox and Trent, the couple takes them on a tropical
resort as a final family vacation.
At the hotel they are staying in, Guy and Prisca, is that how you say her name?
I would say Prisca?
Prisca, okay.
So Prisca are given complimentary drinks and the children befriend the resort manager's
nephew Idlib?
Is that how they say that?
Idlib.
Okay.
At night, Maddox and Trent overhear their parents arguing and begin playing a message
decoding game with Idlib.
The following morning the manager invites the family to a secluded beach where three
additional parties are present.
Rapper Mid-Sized Sedan and a female companion, surgeon Charles, his wife Crystal, their young
daughter Kara, and Charles' mother Agnes, and Jiren and Patricia Carmichael, a close
knit husband and wife.
Playing hide and seek, Trent discovers the dead body of Mid-Sized Sedan's companion.
Charles grows suspicious of Mid-Sized Sedan, who reveals that he has been experiencing
nosebleeds because of his affliction with...
Wow.
Mephilia?
Hey, Mephilia.
I don't even know how the hell to say that word.
It's really sad.
After Agnes suddenly dies, the three families group together and conclude that the beach
is rapidly aging them, with the occupants undergoing the equivalent of a year of aging
every 30 minutes.
They discover that at least one member of each family has an underlying medical condition
and that trying to leave will result in them blacking out.
In a fit of rage, Charles cuts Mid-Sized Sedan with a switchblade and the group watches as
his injury quickly heals.
After Prisca develops a stomach tumor, Charles performs a successful surgery to remove it.
Soon after, Mid-Sized Sedan discovers that the body of his companion has decomposed in
a matter of hours.
All three children have now aged into adulthood.
A bond between the maturing Kara and Trent leads to Kara rapidly giving birth, only for
the baby to quickly die from the beach's effects.
Amid the group struggling to escape the beach, Trent and Maddox discover the notebook of
a previous traveler along with indications of them being watched.
The attempts to leave grow tenser when Charles and Prisca are in a state of shock and are
killed by Mid-Sized Sedan.
While Jaren drowns and Kara falls to her death as they look for a way off, Patricia suffers
a fatal epileptic seizure and Crystal's hypoglycemia results in her bones rupturing, killing her.
Charles eventually attacks Guy at night and in a schizophrenic episode, but Prisca slashes
him with a rusted knife, instigating a fatal blood infection that kills him in seconds.
As the night winds down, an elderly Guy and Prisca make amends before dying moments apart
from each other.
With only the now middle-aged Maddox and Trent remaining by the next morning, which Trent
deduces is connected to an underwater coral passage.
Believing that the passage will allow them to leave the beach without losing consciousness,
he and his sister start swimming through the coral.
After they fail to emerge from the water, a resort employee monitoring them reports
that the entire group has died.
He gives the news to the manager, who mentions a previous incident where a guest almost escaped
the beach before announcing that trial 73 has concluded.
It is revealed that the resort is a front for a research team conducting clinical trials
of new medical drugs, which are administered to guests with medical conditions by spiking
their drinks.
Since the beach naturally accelerates the lives of guests, the researchers have been
able to complete the drug's lifetime trials within a day.
The researchers move forward with luring a new group to the beach but are interrupted
by the arrival of Trent and Maddox, who survive their underwater swim.
Using the notebook as evidence, the siblings are able to bring the police to the resort.
Once the researchers are arrested, Trent and Maddox head home to live with their aunt,
uncertain of their future.
Yeah, I'll be 100% real.
So this is just kind of a reflection of how we thought the movie went.
We gave the movie an 88.5.
Yeah, that's not bad for a story.
Because it is such an interesting idea.
Yeah, it absolutely is.
It's just, I think it's once you start breaking it down into like the little individual pieces
because story, this like, spoiler alert, the story is the highest category that we have.
Yeah, that doesn't surprise me one bit.
Yeah, the story is incredible.
Like when you think about it, just like it is really, really good.
It's just individual aspects, which we'll get into eventually.
Like the idea of finding this place and being able to perform medical experiments like this,
like yes, there is a major ethical conundrum here.
Yes.
But ultimately it is, I mean, it's a good idea in retrospect.
It is a very good idea.
It's just not well executed.
Yeah.
Like, it's so good.
So the way that this island ages you, every hour is the equivalent of two years.
And so that's how fast it like, it ages you.
And it's just, we'll get into it with logic, but I mean, there's some issues I have with
it, but it's just like that idea because they address like so many different issues because
they bring like young children like on the beach with them.
Yeah.
And so the kids are like, you're able to see like a significant difference in the children
very, very quickly.
There's this one part where the kids go and introduce themselves to like the newest group
of people on the beach that came like 10 or 20 minutes later.
Actually, no, it was probably like 30 minutes later.
I don't know.
Well, I don't know.
How long do you think it was?
They said they slept in for like a couple hours.
Okay.
So yeah, that makes more sense.
But yeah, so since it had been a couple hours when the kids go, when Trent and, that's his
name, right?
Trenton Maddox?
Yeah, that's the brother and sister.
So when they go and introduce themselves to this new couple that had just come, they're
just like, oh, you know, like, hey, you know, how old are you guys?
And they're just like, oh, guess.
And they're just like, oh, you know, like you look like 11 and your sister looks like
14.
And Trent's just like, no, I'm six.
And he's just like, the guy's just like, okay, you guys are playing mind tricks with us.
There's no way you're six.
You have to be at least 10 or 11.
And for the freaking guys just like to play like freaking mind games with us and shit.
It's kind of funny.
I thought that was such an interesting conversation.
I'm just like, like, okay, I can see that like where kids would be messing with you.
Yeah.
So I think the rate like I was actually a little bit higher on my story grade than you
were.
But seeing that we're at that, that 88 and a half, I was trying to think of like, what
would bring the story down?
And I think ultimately, it was like the mental capacity of the kids.
Like, it was, it seemed like the kids start or were able to start doing math a lot better
than like, I feel a six year old should.
Oh, so true.
And like the emotional attachments like, okay, so they have another child there.
Her name is Kara.
She is from a different family between Charles and Crystal.
Charles is like, is a is a head doctor or a medical chief officer, whatever the hell
up from a hospital and Crystal seems like she's some social media influencer type crazy
person.
Yeah, that's a good way to describe her.
Yeah, so the way that she talks to her daughter, like honey, stand up straight guys won't think
you're attractive if you're like slouching when you're older.
I'm just like, shut up.
Yeah.
Geez, I'm trying to see how old they have the young Kara because they have the Kara
at age 15.
They have a Kara at 11.
So maybe she's the same age.
So she was like six years old, too.
And shit got weird.
Yeah, like they were talking like, it was like a really interesting conversation between
there was this character midsize sedan, who is like some famous rapper, he was just funky
in general, like what the hell was his purpose?
Yeah, seriously, though, like he was on the beach all night.
Or at least it felt like he did unless he went to the beach like super early in the
morning.
Yeah, I have no idea.
But yeah, so he was on this beach.
And then Maddox at her like normal age, like pointed it out and was just like, oh my gosh,
like that's midsize Dan, like this famous rapper, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then as she started like getting older, like, there was like this really weird connection
between them.
Where they were like having hearts.
Yeah, they were having like this heart to heart.
And I'm just like, this is gross.
As she was talking about like her mental capacity and being like, oh, I had all these like,
these bright colors, these bright and loud colors.
And now I have like more colors in my mind, but they're just all a little quieter.
And I'm like, the hell?
Yeah, seriously.
And then when they were dealing, it's just so weird.
And then they were dealing with all this like other weird shit, like this rapidly decomposed
body or someone dying or this like surgery or like her mom had this, this tumor that
was growing.
It was increasingly getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
And yeah, so it was just getting bigger.
And so they had to do this, like this crazy surgery to remove the tumor.
And Charles was like able to perform it.
And so she like Maddox was sitting there, like kind of all up in the, in the thick of
it.
And then midsize sedan like had his hand on her shoulder.
I'm like, that's no, that's weird.
Yeah.
I mean, she was eight like last night.
So no.
Yeah, like, let's see.
Whatever.
Uh, the youngest age that I'm seeing for Maddox is 11.
Okay.
Yeah, no, hell no.
Still funky.
Very.
Yeah.
Cause what was she?
Was she like 15 or 16 in that scene?
Yeah.
So in yeah, in that they had switched to the 16 year old actress.
Okay.
So she was like, no, either way you want to look at it.
That's fricking weird.
Yeah.
So I think that's why like ultimately I docked it.
Cause I'm just like, okay, there's some ideas here that are not great.
Yeah.
Um, but it was really gross to me.
Oh, was the fricking, when, you know, like when they make an incision and it just automatically
heals back up, they're just like, Oh no, we have to like hold it up, pry it open with
our hands to where you can cut it open.
I'm like, Oh hell no, that's gross.
Like my unsanitary, like, like that was kicking in.
I'm like, that is so unsanitary.
Dude, not even that the way that when they were spreading that they were like, I can
feel it healing around me.
And the guy was not kidding.
That thing was the size of a fricking cantaloupe.
Yeah.
So like for the majority of the movie, you don't know what's happening to these people.
Anytime they try to leave this Island, they're blacking out.
And did they ever like really explain, like, I think that's another thing that I docked
for.
Like, did they ever truly explain why they were blacking out or was it because that they
were leaving this like environment that was rapidly aging them?
And so the, the, the halt to that aging process is what made them like pass out.
I think that's what it was because like you said, because they're aging so fast, the fact
that they're trying to switch, go back to a time that would halt this process, the,
their bodies kind of just like, okay, hell no, that's like too much for me to take.
And so that's why they black out.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, I didn't, didn't ever get was why did they end up back in the middle of the beach?
Yeah, that, yeah, that was kind of weird.
Yeah.
I never explained.
Yeah, that was like another thing that kind of pulled me out.
I'm just like, not loving that, but it's just like the reveal, like the, the, the typical
M night Shyamalan reveal of what was actually going on, that they're testing these, these
drugs, like what they're, they're claiming are these, like these miracle cures, and they're
doing like a lifetime of testing in an evening or in like a single day.
Like, and they were like, they kind of had this reveal that they're, that everyone on
this, this island or this, this beach had some sort of medical condition.
Charles had some sort of like mental disorder schizophrenia, schizophrenia.
Okay.
Yeah.
So it kind of made him a little racist and, and paranoid.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Mid-size sedan had a, whatever that disease was that caused like, or I'll just say chronic
nosebleeds.
Yeah, there we go.
Prisca had a tumor.
Crystal had like a calcium deficiency.
Patricia, she had.
Well, Crystal, yeah, Crystal had a hypoglycemia.
Oh, is that okay?
Or sorry, hypocalcemia.
Sorry.
Hypocalce, okay.
Patricia had epilepsy.
Caused her to have like some crazy bad seizures.
I think so.
And then I think her husband, Jaren was, was fine.
Yeah.
So it, yeah, not everyone had an existing health condition as long as like someone from
each family had something.
That's all they cared about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it was interesting because at the, like the very end they reveal that, oh, they, they
snuck some cocktail into, or they, they snuck some drug into these people's cocktail at
the beginning of their, their visit when they were like, when they came to the hotel and
then, then when they went to the island, it was like that rapid aging.
And so Patricia had gone through the entirety of her visit on the beach.
I mean, up until her ultimate death.
What did they say?
She lived like eight hours without having an epileptic episode, but then she had, I
thought what was happening was like, oh, she's just like moving through these phases of,
of time so fast that her body can't like keep up.
And so I thought what she had was like the ultimate like epileptic seizure.
Yeah.
I kinda thought the same thing.
Like I just thought it was like a buildup of stuff, but then she like, yeah, had the,
the crazy seizure that killed her.
Um, so yeah, that was like really interesting.
Cause yeah, didn't the doctor come and say, because it was eight hours, that is equivalent
to 16 years without an epileptic seizure.
Actually let's, let's see exactly what that timeline would be.
So it is eight hours or how long did she, was it 18 hours?
It wasn't 18 hours.
It was eight, right?
It was six or eight.
I can't remember which one.
I think you're right.
Okay, so she survived eight hours.
That would have been 16 years without a seizure.
So yeah, so 16 years.
Yeah.
So it's just like, however much time that like translates to, which is just fricking
weird to think about.
Yeah, but it's kind of cool though.
It is.
It's super cool.
It's, it's so fricking interesting, but I think another thing like why, why is it that
the, the coral was like a passageway?
Yeah, like seriously though, why is it coral that like, like, was it a special type of
coral?
Was it just being able to like swim like underneath that like radius?
It had to be, I don't know, like.
It was just like weird.
Like why was that like the gateway?
Yeah, like how was coral the one that slows down this process?
Yeah, it was just like, it was just like an odd thing.
Like nothing too big, at least story wise.
I'm like, okay, like I can buy that, I guess.
Yeah.
Like maybe it was just the coral was putting something off in the water that counteracted
the whatever substance or like that was another thing.
They revealed that it was like some sort of like the minerals of the, of the beach, like
that were specific to the beach.
It was something in the rocks and the sand and all that, that made, that did the hyper
aging to like everyone's cells.
And so they were thinking like, oh, we can make a big metal tube and hide it in there.
Like how the hell are we going to get a big metal tube?
I found it a super interesting that they touch upon how like, oh, if you know, like we're
aging, why isn't our like nails growing faster?
Why isn't our hair changing color?
And then they say, because that stuff is technically already dead.
They're like dead, like dead cells.
So of course it's not going to, because you're aging so fast.
I forget how they explain it, but they do explain it and it felt like they explained
it in a very understandable way.
I didn't even think of that.
Like that was another like thing that like threw me off.
I'm like, why aren't there?
So but that makes like absolute sense now.
Yeah.
Cause yeah.
Yeah.
So it's like, it's already like dead or disconnected from your like actual body.
So okay, I can buy that.
Yeah.
So yeah.
Cause I felt like the same thing until they brought up that up.
I'm like, okay, nevermind.
You guys explained it.
Yeah, that is okay.
I like that.
Yeah.
So an 88.5, I think it definitely reflects just how good the idea of this story was.
Yes, absolutely.
I think it can bring up a lot of like interesting conversations about that kind of stuff.
But moving on over to writing, we gave this a 73.
So it was significantly less than the story.
There's kind of some cheesy parts.
One of my things that I've always kind of bitched and complained about is wasted dialogue
and there could have not been more of that.
Like it just felt like every conversation beforehand, I'm like, all right, let's just
get to the beach.
Yeah.
Like, like seriously though, like, like the part where they're like, uh, just in their
hotel room before they decide to go to, uh, not just not this beach, but the other beach,
that feels like completely wasted dialogue.
I feel the only time that they needed to talk in their hotel room was when they are actually
fighting and their kids hear them fighting.
Yeah, like I want to understand, like, it was just like, what was the purpose behind
that aspect?
Like they could have, it was, she was dealing with a tumor, something that she thought was
terminal in one way or another.
It's just like, why, why did they have to throw in like the divorce aspect of it?
Yeah.
It's like they were dealing with so much already.
Like it just felt odd for them to like try and deal with the divorce and they didn't
even like handle it all that well.
Like the very end is like, what were we fighting about?
I'm like, really?
Like seriously.
Yeah.
And like the whole, like, oh, uh, the wife's talking to this other guy and the husband's
just like, oh, are you talking to him?
He's a, he's a piece of crap.
You deserve so much better.
I'm just like, okay, you guys have barely even talked about this other guy.
Like, so I guess I'm just supposed to take your word that he's a piece of shit.
Okay.
Yeah.
Like who?
Yeah.
I don't even think they gave him a name.
Did they?
They didn't.
What the shit?
Yeah.
It was just like, he just said like, really that guy.
So I mean, I guess that's like one way that they could have been like, oh, we're just
treating the audience like adults.
Like he knows who she's cheating with, but like they don't need to do some like exposition
like cause how, like, I think it would have just been worse.
Had he been like, really my best friend or really my coworker, like whatever, like who,
whatever the situation may have been.
Like I think that would have come off way worse.
No.
Okay.
That's fair.
Yeah.
So I mean, I'll give some like bonus points for treating us like adults in that aspect.
It's just, that was an odd thing to throw in for them to be dealing with.
I'm like, nah, they were dealing with so much other shit.
Yeah.
Um, how did you feel with the writing between Charles, his wife, and then his mother?
I thought it was weird.
Like that whole family felt odd.
Am I the, okay.
Am I like the only one that felt that like, um, so it was like, I thought Charles and
his mom were actually the couple.
And then I did too.
Okay.
And then the lady was their daughter.
And then that was their granddaughter.
Yeah, that is exactly what I thought too.
Okay.
Good.
I'm not, I'm not trying to sound like, oh, you know, like a, uh, go against anyone that,
you know, like has a huge age gap in their relationship, but that's just how it came
across to me.
It isn't explained that their husband and wife until they get to the beach, it is not
like showcased in that first scene.
Yeah.
And that felt fricking, it felt so weird because it was like, she was just blatantly flirting
with the waiter at the table when like they first introduced.
So I'm just like, okay, this, like, this is a weird dynamic.
Like these, these parents are watching their daughter, like just kind of flaunt herself
like cause Charles and his mother had the same expression on their face.
So I was just like, okay, so they're just kind of both irritated with her shit.
Like, I don't know, like I think it would have made more sense had Charles been sitting
on the same side as crystal.
Yes.
Absolutely.
And then Kara been sitting with her grandmother.
Yeah, I absolutely agree.
That would have made a lot more sense.
Yeah.
I think that would have established it.
It's just, it felt so weird.
Oh, man, it was just dialogue after wasted dialogue.
Just so, so funky.
And like they never really established what the hell Charles had.
Like I don't feel like they did because this schizophrenics like, because I mean, his whole
obsession was like, like, does anyone know that movie with Marlon Brando and, and who
else?
Oh, I forgot.
Yeah, it does.
Okay.
Yeah.
It doesn't really matter, but he's like, does anyone else know that movie?
Does anyone know that movie?
And I'm like, that seems like an obsessive compulsive thing.
Like I want to look up the actual like definition of schizophrenia.
Yeah.
It was just like, I was thinking like for a long time that it was Alzheimer's.
Oh, okay.
Actually that, okay.
His behavior actually does make sense with that whole like, do you remember that movie?
Because it's defined as a mental disorder characterized by delusions, hallucinations,
disorganized thoughts, speech and behavior.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm a little bit more forgiving of that scene then.
That makes a lot more sense.
Okay.
Yeah.
Um, well, it's common for ages 18 to 35 and it's more common in males.
Wonderful.
Tracks.
Yeah.
So I think most of his stuff, like it, I think it was just the, uh, the, the, the, the, the,
um, the not clarity or the lack of clarity with his stuff that made it a little hard
to follow.
And I'm just like, okay, what the hell is his problem?
Like I know he has a problem.
Like what is it?
Yeah, no, no, I agree.
Um, Midsize Sedan was like a weird one too.
Like what the hell was his problem?
Like other than like the chronic nosebleeds.
I'm like, that doesn't seem like a big enough issue to like run an experiment like this.
Yeah, I, I, I agree.
But what's his, is it for haemophilia?
Yeah.
What does that even mean?
Is it?
Yeah, I'm looking it up.
Uh, oh, is it mostly inherited genetic disorder that impairs the body's ability to make blood
clots a process needed to stop bleeding?
Easy bruising and an increase.
This results in people bleeding for a longer time after an injury, easy bruising and an
increased risk of bleeding inside joints or the brain.
Those with a mild case of the disease may have symptoms only after an accident or during
surgery bleeding into a joint can result in permanent damage while bleeding in the brain
can result in long-term headache seizures or a decreased level of consciousness.
Shit.
Yeah, they, um, I looked up this article about it and they're just like, yeah, he, they've
never really addressed what his problem was.
It was an unspecified blood disease.
Okay.
All right.
So I thought like midsize sedan was just like a wasted character.
He really was honestly, and it's not the actor's fault.
Actor did the best with what he was given.
Um, oh my gosh, like every, everything that he said, like every time like something happened,
he's just damn.
And then like nothing, like he wouldn't follow it up with anything.
I'm just like, okay, yeah.
But how does that make you feel?
Yeah, I'm like, follow it up with something like other than just damn and then just blank
expression.
And then they like moved on to someone that actually had something worth the, worth something
to hear.
Yeah.
I'm like, this is so dumb.
But it like, I also feel like with how long or how much longer he was on the beach, like
why, like I have a hard time understanding why the hell his, um, his girlfriend disappeared
because it seemed like he, it seemed like he was there like all night.
Yeah it did.
So she should have been like way more decomposed than she was, but was it just the fact that
she was in the water?
And shouldn't he have looked a lot older than he did?
Yeah, something along those lines, right?
Cause yeah, cause Maddox like recognized him instantly.
So if that's the case, then he must've looked exactly like she remembers him.
But honestly, if he's been there for, I mean, I don't know what time they went in there
at night, but yeah, he should be a freaking like almost double his age by now.
Yeah, you would think like, what the hell?
And then just the fact that he was just sitting on the, like it was just an odd thing for
him to be related in this story at all.
Like I think they could have had the exact same story.
I think that instead of Charles killing midsize sedan, have him kill the, the nurse.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely agree.
Yeah.
Midsize sedan was a very much wasted character.
Yeah.
And then I mean, shit, the, what was the nurse's name?
Jaren?
Jaren was freaking wasted too.
He just went out and like tried swimming.
I'm like, cool, we've already seen someone try to leave the island by swimming with,
with midsize sedan's girlfriend.
Like, so obviously there's just some sort of like magical bubble around this, this island.
That's what I would have thought.
Like anyone who would have been like, oh, maybe if we climb up and I'm like, no, that
is not how minerals work.
Like you are so freaking stupid, but I, I would have believed like someone with the
mental capacity of a six year old, like Kara.
Yeah.
See that one absolutely makes sense.
Yeah.
Where she'd been like, maybe if we go up and I'm like, no, you're a child.
Stop.
I want to point out though, um, with the whole like Kara and Trent thing, I shouldn't have
laughed, but the part where, you know, like they're like shocked that she's pregnant and
he's just like, Oh, I thought you had to like do that like 10 times in order to get pregnant.
Oh my gosh.
I actually freaking started laughing.
I'm like, no, buddy, that is not how that works.
Maybe if you have a condom, but dude, I was losing my mind.
I'm just like, cause first off, they don't show that they're doing anything.
It just showed that they were just like laying there.
Yeah.
So I'm like, okay, this is like weird because they're like talking about like adult things.
And I'm like, you guys are like having mental capacity of a six year old.
Yeah.
This is getting, this is getting weird.
And then when she comes out and she's pregnant, I'm just like, this is gross.
And then when she actually had the baby, like I, uh, Braille heard like crying and she's
just like, Oh my gosh, you had the baby.
And I'm like the six year old.
And we, um, I don't know if I would put, no, this wouldn't be an effect.
So I just want to bring this up.
Um, is it just me or did, I mean, I don't know how big the fetus would have been like
the actual like baby.
Um, cause the way that they were portraying the baby, like when trends decide, Oh, we
need to put him to rest.
It seriously looked like it was just a folded up blanket.
It looked like there was nothing in there because the bones were like, it would have
been bones.
That is okay.
Nevermind.
I take it.
And the dust spelling out was the bones having like decomposed.
I miss that.
Okay.
Shit.
Sean Milan.
Okay.
Kudos to you.
Shit.
Okay.
That's what I thought too.
I was just like, that's a lot of dust.
Like you guys didn't clean that up at all.
And then I was like, Oh wait, you guys talked about this bones decompose a little bit later.
Okay.
All right.
Nevermind.
Yeah.
Right.
Rejection retracted or complaint retracted.
Yeah.
We'll, we'll get into this with, um, with logic because I have issues.
Okay.
Um, it's, it's interesting to think about like that pregnancy and like that I'll leave
it at that for now.
Yeah.
But writing, writing wise, it was significantly worse than the actual story.
There were so many things that pulled me out of it.
Like it wasn't even funny.
Um, yeah.
Moving on over to acting.
Let's see, we have Gail Bernal who played guy Vicky Cripes or creeps who played Prisca
Rufus Sewell who played Charles Alex Wolf who played Trent when he was 15.
Thomas and Mackenzie who played Maddox when she was 16.
Abby Lee who played crystal.
Nikki Amooka Bird who played Patricia.
Can Leong who played Jaren.
Eliza Scanlon who played Kara when she was aged at 15.
Aaron Pierce who played midsize sedan.
Like we can, unfortunately we have to go through this like entire list.
Um, M Beth Davids who played adult Maddox.
Iman Elliott who played adult Trent.
Alexa Swinton who played Maddox aged 11.
Gustav Hammerston who played the resort manager.
Kathleen Chalfant who played Agnes which I believe was Charles's mother.
Yeah I'm pretty sure.
She wasn't important.
Okay Nolan River who played Trent aged 6.
Luca Rodriguez who played Trent aged 11.
Micaiah Fisher who played Kara aged 11.
And then I believe that was it.
And then M. Night Shyamalan played the hotel van driver.
Yeah I actually didn't know that he always has a part in all of his movies.
I never knew that.
Does he really?
Yeah, because when I saw the bus ride.
That's Shyamalan right?
Yeah I didn't, I'm not super familiar with like how he looks.
Oh okay.
So I didn't pick up on that.
Oh.
Not a bad actor.
Unfortunately they don't have an actress for Kara when she was aged 6.
Huh, interesting.
Yeah so really decent cast.
Yeah.
Unfortunately though we gave them a 70.5.
Yeah you know what honestly the acting, well okay you know actually I was telling myself
this while watching I'm like you know what you know like the acting is good as it gets
for like a Shyamalan movie but then I'm like okay wait hold up.
Shyamalan has had James McAvoy, Samuel L. Jackson, and freaking Bruce Willis in his
films.
How can the acting be not so good in this one?
Yeah it was just like something was just odd about it.
Yeah.
And I'm not sure, like I'm pretty sure it wasn't due to the story.
Like I'm sure that it might have had like a small part in it but overall it was just
odd.
Like it just felt really, it just felt off.
It did.
Like everyone felt off.
Like I had a hard time believing like until like the very end that Guy and Prisca would
have been like romantic with each other.
Like it almost felt like they were like siblings in a way.
Yeah oh that is a perfect way to explain it.
Yep yeah they just felt like brother and sister.
Yeah and then I think we addressed it Charles and Crystal they did not feel like husband
and wife they felt very much like father and daughter.
Yeah yeah.
And freaking the lady that played, or the girl that played Maddox at 16, I think she
needs to work a little bit on her acting chops.
Absolutely.
I don't know why because it was in the trailer and also just the scene in the movie where
she's just like dad why are you looking at me like that.
I don't know just the way that she said it I'm just like oh that's kind of cringy.
It is cringy but have you ever heard an 11 year old talk?
It is very much like that.
Everything they say is awkward.
So I was actually able to let that go.
Yeah I was actually, that was like something I was able to let go and I'm like okay it's
like an 11 year old they kind of have this like weird way of talking.
Like they're kind of discovering their voice, like their tone.
Even when I've gone back and like watched old home movies of me talking I want to like
shoot myself forever having spoken like that.
Same, absolute same.
Yeah so I was able to let that go and it progressively got better.
But it was just like these weird little things that I'm just like ugh not digging that.
Like anything mid-sized sedan did I was like I was not a fan of.
No same here.
Okay so you said it's Alex Wolf right that was in this one?
Yes.
Okay and he's supposed to play the 15 year old of Trent?
Yes.
I'm sorry he looks way too old to be a freaking 15 year old.
I think like early 20s because I think that's what Alex is.
I mean I know he's playing like a high schooler in like Jumanji in the two Jumanji films that
he's in but that was like years ago that was like back in like 2017 where he could still
pass for that.
But now he's just too freaking old to try to pass off as like a freaking and he's supposed
to be like a freaking like if he's 15 he's a freaking middle schooler in this.
Yeah it was I think that like the time thing ended up working pretty well in their favor.
Oh yeah.
Because then they could eventually be like well he wasn't 15 for that long.
Yeah true.
So I think that's like that's why it worked out a little bit.
I think they might have kept I think they should have gone for someone who looked a
little bit older than the 16 year old Maddox because I felt like I'm like okay now it feels
like she's younger than Trent.
Yes.
Yeah I absolutely agree.
Some of that felt just different.
Well trying to think of like if there was honestly the only person that I was like really
impressed with throughout was Patricia and Jaren.
That was the couple that was late right?
Yeah.
Yep.
I absolutely agree.
I actually thought their acting was pretty good.
Yeah they're actually what brought it up for me a lot.
Like I was at I would have been in the 60s if they weren't in it.
Yeah same here because like honestly even when they're at the hotel I freaking love
their like freaking sarcasm at each other because after she has her like seizure she's
just like oh you know like I'm really sorry and he's just like oh no it's okay honey you
always got to be the center of attention.
I know I freaking love that stuff.
That was great.
Yeah.
So interesting to say the least.
Yeah honestly like biggest besides them I actually I don't know I actually really liked
Shyamalan's acting in this.
I thought he was actually pretty good for the little role that he had.
I was going to say he wasn't in it that much.
No he wasn't but I don't know like I for what he was in I actually thought he was decent.
I didn't know that he was like he's not a horrible actor.
He can decently act in I would say decently direct.
Yeah the only crystals acting I had issues with and it was once she became like homicidal
like trying to smash the kids with a rock I'm like what the hell.
Yeah that was I mean I guess like you could say oh yeah but if you're aging that fast
and your bones are like you know degrading that fast once you start going crazy not that
crazy.
Yeah not like homicidal crazy.
Like I would have more believed if she would have tried to like throw a rock out of like
a fit of rage.
Yeah that would have made a lot more sense.
Yeah but it looked like she was going for the kids.
Yeah which what the hell did those kids ever do to you.
Yeah exactly like they were like freaking out.
She was like oh my gosh that scene was so gross.
Oh yeah and we'll get into that with effects but yeah acting wise not the best.
It was watchable.
It doesn't pull you out of it that much but it's just it has issues.
Yeah all right moving on over to character development which we are going to be talking
about logic and this is where I had some issues.
I actually had so much issues I made a chart of how long different things take.
I love it.
All right so they established that every 30 minutes is the equivalent of one year.
Yes so if the so this is kind of getting into the scene with Crystal where she was like
throwing the rocks and breaking her bones.
The average amount of time for bones to heal at least to the point where it's like oh now
it's like stuck that way is six to eight weeks of normal time.
Okay.
So six to eight weeks in this world is the equivalent of 3.75 minutes and it seemed like
she was about to throw the rock and it like snapped her bones and then they're just like
oh it's healed.
I'm like you guys have been sitting there for three almost four minutes.
I'm going bullshit.
Yeah that doesn't sound believable.
Yeah right.
Let's see another one.
The only one that I feel like they got on the money was the baby because that like gestation
period would have taken 22 and a half minutes.
That's that was that was nine months so they were just like oh she like she must have only
been pregnant for like 20 minutes.
So I'm like okay like I can believe that.
Yeah okay.
The other one that I had a hard time believing was the the lacerations like anytime someone
got cut or whatever it like healed instantly.
Yeah because okay so it's every 30 minutes is one year right.
Yes.
So if most lacerations because most of those were pretty freaking deep would you say that
would probably take like at least like a month or two to heal.
I don't know like if your cut is that deep how long would you say it's going to take
to heal.
So lacerations in surgery take about two weeks to heal.
Okay.
So that is the equivalent of 75 seconds.
Yeah that was not that.
No not even a little bit.
That was like 10 seconds tops.
Hell some of them were like instant.
Yeah.
Like I'm like yeah I'm calling bullshit.
Yeah same here.
Yeah so there's like a bunch of shit that I'm just like no I'm not buying it.
Just like the hell Shyamalan you should have done your research more.
Yeah right.
I mean this is actually based off a book so maybe this isn't Shyamalan doing his research
this is actually the writers author's fault for how.
Maybe but he is credited for adapting it to a screenplay.
Okay that's true.
So he could have made the changes if he wanted to.
Good point.
I'm looking up real quick how long it would take someone to die of tetanus.
Okay so the incubation period so time from exposure to illness is usually between 30
and 21 days.
Which is about 10 days.
So that is about 50 seconds of when you would start to show symptoms.
Okay and that one was like I mean I can give you that.
So Charles was attacking Guy and Prisca for those of you that decided to listen to this
without watching the movie.
He was attacking them with a knife because he's like you guys are going to tattle on
me to my boss and get me banned from being a doctor or whatever.
So he was attacking them with a knife and so while he was cutting them it was like instant
heal and I'm like that would suck but whatever.
And then Prisca runs off and grabs like a rusty knife and then cuts him with it.
Cuts Charles with it and then Charles dies of tetanus I'm assuming.
Yeah I think that's what they said.
So for tetanus to show symptoms it would have been 10 days.
Which 10 days or one day is the equivalent of 5.35 seconds.
And so for him to even be seeing symptoms that would have been 50 seconds.
Which is somewhat believable with how long that he sat there if you're counting movie
time.
Okay.
So yeah I'm like I can buy that.
But what I'm not buying is some of the other shit.
The biggest one was like the broken bones.
So I'm like no those take like a while to set.
Yeah exactly.
And so her she was like snapping bones and they were like setting instantly and then
she became like super disfigured and I'm like that is disgusting.
Yeah it's very very very disgusting.
Yeah other than that I do feel like they did a pretty decent job at following their own
logic.
Yeah no I would definitely agree.
For the most part whenever they said like oh this is why this is happening it honestly
did make sense.
And the questions that I had actually Caleb answered for me.
So yeah my let's see.
How long do you think they were on that island like Trent and Maddox.
Like how long do you like would you have guessed.
Maybe like two days and one morning.
You think they were there for 48 hours.
Well wait.
No I'm sorry.
It was one day right.
Yeah sorry yeah that was one day.
Oh yeah one day and like part of a morning.
So maybe.
So it's definitely 12 hours plus.
I don't know maybe like it seemed like they got there like pretty early in the morning
and then when they started like sailing off that was like noon ish.
Yeah.
So maybe they were there for like 14 hours.
So that would have been the exact same time plus two like just at guesstimating that they
got there around 10.
Yeah that's actually the time that I was going to say.
OK so if they were there for 14 hours.
That would have aged them 28 years.
And so when they actually get off then aren't they say that they're in their 50s.
Yeah but Trent was six so he would have been in his 30s.
He would have been like 34.
And then if Maddox was 11 and then Maddox would have been in her would have been almost
40.
And that's just like a guesstimate like how.
So like let's say he was like.
Let's say he was right and he was like in his 50s.
If you divide that by two.
That would have put him.
All right.
No.
Hold on.
Let me do this math right.
So let's say he was in his 50s.
You subtract six and then you divide that by two.
So that would put him at 22 hours for him to be 50.
OK.
Because you have the only reason we know that he's in his 50s is because at the end they
say oh you just called your aunt right.
Yeah.
And how does she react.
Oh when you call your aunt and you say that you're fit like 50 something and you were
six years old yesterday how would you react or some shit like that.
Right.
Which first off like why in the absolute hell would the aunt believe that.
Yeah straight up.
Like everyone kind of just accepted that that was true.
Yeah.
Like.
Oh my gosh I would seriously need like a full on interrogation.
Yeah I'm like I'm calling horse shit.
Yeah.
Listen here you little shit.
I need your social security number.
I need your known.
I just need everything everything to prove.
That you are my nephew.
Yeah.
OK.
Like that's another thing that we we could adopt for logic which I think.
70 is still fair taking that into consideration.
Just the fact that everyone seemed to accept that really fast.
Yeah like he shows the cop hey this is what happened.
Here's the list of people that were on the island before us.
Yeah I'd be like OK you have a list of names of missing people guess who's getting arrested
buddy you are.
True.
That is very true.
Like I was just like are you shitting me like come on.
That's a good point.
That's a very good point.
Yeah so 22 hours.
So that would have meant like if we were just guessing that he got there around 9.
Like let's just yeah let's say 9 in the morning.
OK.
So plus 22 hours.
Or so 9 to 9 is 12.
Plus an additional 10.
So that would put him like late afternoon.
Which I'm not buying because there were guests arriving and they usually arrived in the morning.
OK so he must have been just like guesstimating.
Which you know understandable.
Yeah.
Is that even like an amount of time.
Actually now I'm not even believe it.
OK let's see how old.
I'm just tearing this apart.
I want to see how old the dad is.
OK so he was 42 years old.
The dad.
OK.
And if he was there for let's say like 10 hours.
So that would put him at dying at 62.
Which he seemed a little young for that.
He did and he had no as far as we know he had no underlying health conditions.
Yeah.
Yeah 62 seems young.
Yeah.
OK.
So maybe they could have like bumped the timeline up a little bit.
Yeah.
But OK well then you would be messing around with like the timeline of like the baby.
Of how long that would have taken.
That's true.
I'm going to look up just see if someone knows how old how long they were stuck on the island.
Yeah I'm not seeing anything about like anyone guessing how long they were on the island.
So her the kids Trenton Maddox I would have guessed were in their like early 30s like mid
40s.
Yeah that would make sense.
And honestly I mean the way that they looked I could I could see that.
Yeah.
So I think 50 was like just a child's guess.
Yeah.
So yeah.
Which we're getting into like some crazy specifics here.
Just a little bit just a little bit.
So yeah I think overall they did a really good job of keeping like the timelines in
check.
Yes absolutely.
But it was like injuries that I think they they went a little loosey goosey on.
And what if I say that loosey goosey.
Yeah.
And I think the biggest one that they got right was the baby.
And that was like the only thing that they got right.
Anything else like injury wise or health wise I think they.
Yeah like I said they got a little loose on.
Might have gotten a little ahead of themselves.
Yeah I'd say that.
All right.
Personally I feel another thing that like logic wise if you guys were so concerned about
someone like surviving this beach why the hell would you allow him to be like oh they've
been underneath for a minute and a half like let's leave or like let's freaking bounce.
Like you dumbass how about you wait an extra like 20 minutes.
Yeah just to confirm.
Like how like he's just like I'm ready to freaking clock out.
Or like maybe after you've gotten the van all packed up take a second glance just to
make sure you didn't miss anything.
Right.
Like how bad are you at your job.
Like I would seriously just like look at that asshole and be like you know what.
Fired.
Yeah right.
Seriously though.
Oh they've been under a minute and a half.
Guess what.
Like people can survive that.
Yeah you'd be amazed how long people can hold their breath.
Yeah especially in life and death situation like that.
Like come on.
Yeah.
So yeah I was just like that was just complete and utter bullshit.
Yeah.
So 78.5 I think is I'm starting to feel like that was pretty generous.
Made a little bit.
Yeah.
Moving on over to effects.
We gave this an 82.
I'm bad.
All of the effects that they did have like logically the injury is like bullshit but
the way that they were healing up like all of that looked pretty crisp.
It honestly did.
Like even like them pulling out the tumor that actually looked really good.
Very realistic.
Yeah that was gross as shit though.
Yeah.
Very much so.
I also kind of had a hard time with that.
I'm like that's not how cancer works.
Like is it?
I mean I honestly wouldn't know because no one I know has ever had to have their tumors
like actually removed its chemo that shrunk them.
Well wait no I'm sorry.
That's what I thought too.
Well I think that they can still after chemo shrinks them they will go in and remove them
when they're smaller.
Actually I lied I have that did happen with my mom.
But as far as I know that is not exactly how a tumor gets cut out.
Yeah.
That would be a little different right?
Yeah that's what I was thinking.
But I mean hey any of you doctors out there let us know if we're wrong.
Is this really how it works?
Yeah we're probably wrong.
Yeah.
I'm trying to think of like anything else like oh I think they did a really good job
with Crystal.
When she like when her bones when she became like the freaking hunchback in Notre Dame
and tried to smash the kids with the rock the way it fell it did look very rubbery.
Yeah.
But I think it was also just the shock of seeing that was a lot to deal with.
I'm like okay.
Yeah that's fair.
So it was almost like they were able to disguise their issues with that with the just the brutality.
Yeah.
I really liked the I can't remember do we well no that would probably go with makeup
never mind.
What were you thinking?
Like the like the actual oh my gosh like aging that they did on the mom and dad like with
the wrinkles and all that stuff I feel like the makeup for that or I don't know if that
was CGI it looked makeup to me.
I thought that looked actually like really really good.
Yeah I think they could have been well not really I was gonna say I feel like they could
have been a little bit better about what that aging would have looked like but with the
way that they I think it was the hair that threw me off.
Yeah same hair and yeah you can't really get mad at them with that because it's already
it's already dead so that's why it didn't change color with their aging.
Yeah so that makes sense.
It kind of seems like I thought the entirety of the beach is like with like everything
got like aged super rapidly but it seems like it only affected like human cells because
it didn't seem like it affected food it didn't seem like it affected metal like I thought
it did with the way that they're just like oh look how rested all this stuff is I'm like
I'm like okay well they with 73 tests like and them just kind of being out in the the
open like yeah that makes sense that they'd be rusted like that.
Yeah because I'm just assuming probably like the type of air that a saltwater ocean can
give off can give off that can happen.
Yeah so everything else like really hard to complain about much else like it.
Yeah I agree.
I think those were the biggest effects were the the hunchback snapping of the bones and
everything like contortionist.
But yeah so 82 I think like I said we said was pretty fair.
Yeah.
The next two I don't think we're going to have a whole lot to say about but getting
into music we're sitting at a six.
There's nothing really special here.
I mean it's good for what it comes across on you know it's not horrible but like nothing
really stands out it's kind of just like a bare bones basic soundtrack.
Yeah like I absolutely agree with that one.
I think the like it didn't have anything like going for it like soundtrack wise which I
mean it works for this it's just still not like super ideal.
Like I feel like they could have done a little bit more music wise to enhance the scenes
and I think that it just felt like the like the music was accompanying the scenes not
like enhancing.
Yes definitely.
It was more it more felt like okay we need music for this stuff so like let's put something
in.
Yeah.
Yeah so like we said sitting at a six.
Going over to costumes nothing too memorable but I think they did a pretty decent job at
giving everyone like a decent enough looking swimsuit.
I do want to point out with the whole like the whole like aging thing and growing.
So the shirt that Trent is wearing that's supposed to be the exact same yellow pull
like button up shirt right?
Like his?
I thought it was his dad's.
That was oh that's his dad's.
Yeah because it seemed like they brought a spare like a bunch of spare clothes because
the mom brought a spare swimming suit.
I'm assuming that the dad like the dad didn't wear a shirt like a lot of the time.
That's true.
Maybe it was just his dad's shirt.
Yeah because I was going to say there is no way that like a shirt that's for like a teenager
is going to fit your old man that well because like it looks like it wasn't like compressed
to him or not but yeah okay never mind if that was his dad's then I take away the criticism.
Yeah and then Maddox she got put into a new suit one that like fit her a little bit better
but that one I was just like even before they went to the beach I'm like that seems like
a really big swimsuit for her.
Yeah I can definitely agree with that.
So I think they could have gotten away with not doing the switch just because of how petite
she was.
No that's true.
That's very true.
But I mean whatever like you do you.
Yeah exactly.
Everyone else though like pretty again pretty bare-boned costumes so yeah no real complaints
there.
No.
Like they weren't like terrible costumes but they weren't like super great either.
Yes exactly.
All right moving on over to our personal grade.
Where are you sitting at?
So overall I remember first seeing the trailer for this movie in the actual theaters.
I forget what movie I saw it with but I'm just like damn that looks very intriguing.
I didn't think honestly I would be checking it out this soon but I'm glad I did.
It's definitely one of M.I.
Shyamalan's better films.
I haven't seen all of his movies.
Honestly the only ones that I've seen are The Last Airbender, Split and this movie.
I've never seen Glass or Unbreakable.
I think that's the first movie in that trilogy.
And I haven't seen The Happening or did he do Signs?
I am not familiar with his other movies.
Okay there you go.
So I haven't seen a lot of Shyamalan but I feel I've definitely been able to make my
assumption that some of his movies are good but some of them are not so great.
The Last Ember, Airbender I feel is the lowest of the low with his films and rightfully so
because it's just movies in general.
That's true because he does not understand the source material at all with that compared
to the show.
It's dog shit.
And that's kind of being kind honestly.
But overall I feel this is a very, it's an enjoyable Shyamalan movie and like I was reading
to Caleb with the critic consensus for audience, sorry audience consensus on Rotten Tomatoes
for this movie.
They said love him or hate him.
Shyamalan was kind of like the only one that could make this movie work in the way that
it did and in a way you really can't argue with them on that.
That is an absolute fair enough thing to say.
So honestly so far for the little Shyamalan movies that I've seen this is probably my
favorite one of his.
I think I actually enjoyed this more than Split just for the idea alone.
So I'm going to go with 73.
Nice.
Yeah I think that the idea of this movie was a lot better than the execution.
If you want to talk about the story like all day long like I am so down.
Once we start getting into like the little nitpicks I'm probably going to just kind of
die off on my conversation because it's like, it was just like as the scores reflect their
average like there's nothing too special about them or just this movie in general.
I just think that the idea behind this was really strong and really solid.
But I had an interesting enough time with this movie.
I might have liked it a little bit more than you did so I'm sitting at a 78.
I'm shy of being like what I consider like an average movie which I think is like typically
for me at an 80.
That's like one where I'm like okay I didn't love it didn't hate it.
But I always like I always give a little bit more bonus points for ones that at least for
like typical movies where I'm like oh that was just like a barebone 80.
Like that's usually my flat line and then like I adjust from there.
Okay all right.
But yeah so sitting at a 78 which averages us out to a 75.5.
It's not bad.
So that concludes this breakdown.
So the final Albrows letter grade for old has come to a C plus.
Okay yeah that's not bad at all.
I like it.
Yeah I like it.
Let's see where it's sitting at like in comparison to all of our others.
Maybe if I can freaking find it.
All right so old is sitting at a 77.87 percent.
Which puts it above the babysitter killer queen Wonder Woman 1984.
That kind of like kills saying that but I can't argue that.
Yeah right.
It also puts it above Sam Raimi's Spider-Man.
Okay that one kind of kills.
Yeah.
It's also above Aquaman and the strangers pray at night.
Yeah yeah.
Strangers that's fair.
Yeah but it puts it below Tag.
Also puts it below Venom let there be carnage.
Jumanji the next level.
Tenacious D and the pick of destiny.
And Godzilla versus Kong.
All right.
So it has a good placement.
Yeah I think it has a really good placement.
Out of all of our C plus movies which we have 22 of it is sitting at 14.
That's not bad.
I actually thought we had more.
Yeah I thought we did too.
But total movies out of 150 movies it is sitting at 114.
Okay it's also so cool that we've reached 150 movies.
Yeah right.
That's so cool.
Hell yeah.
So I think it has a pretty decent decent home.
I think a C plus is more than fair.
Yeah no honestly I agree.
If you're a fan of Shyamalan definitely check it out.
It's not his worst movie.
It's definitely not his worst movie.
Yeah I would dare say it's one of his better that I've seen.
I honestly would like honestly I think it's so far it's my favorite one that I've seen.
Like nothing against Split.
I didn't love Split as much as I feel everybody else did.
Oh I actually forgot about Split.
That one actually might be my favorite.
See that's completely fair.
I didn't love Split as much as everybody else did.
So this is probably my favorite one so far that I've seen.
But I can completely understand if Split is yours.
Hell yeah.
So I'd say that concludes our breakdown of old.
Unless there's anything you want to add.
Nope I'm good.
Alright well if you guys liked what you hear and you want to hear more be sure to follow
and subscribe to us wherever you listen to podcasts.
We are damn near everywhere.
Even after we switched to Podbean we are still damn near everywhere.
You can catch also all of our episodes on YouTube if you would prefer to listen there
instead of Spotify, Google, podcasts, all of those other places.
But so yeah so if you prefer to listen there that is where you can find us.
If you want to follow us on social media you can find us at Facebook.com forward slash
the all bros, Twitter and Instagram at the all bros.
And if you would prefer to email us you can email us at theallbroschannel at gmail.com
and at all four of those places you can send us a message if you have a question for us,
want to give us an idea for an episode or answer our questions of the week.
If you want to check out our website you can check it out at tinyurl.com forward slash
the all bros where you can get to know a little more about us too and our broship.
And also there is the best place to buy merch because that is the one place where we can
actually make it to where you can get the actual design that you want that hasn't been
taken down by a studio just yet.
So guys can go over there, fill out the form of what you want and we can get that made
for you.
But if you would prefer to go to actual like Tpublic or TeeSpring you can go there.
I don't know the actual...
I don't think we have anything on TeeSpring anymore.
We don't.
It's just TeePublic.
Okay sorry.
So it's just TeePublic now my bad.
So if you want to go to just strictly TeePublic it is TeePublic.com forward slash user forward
slash the all bros channel.
So yeah next episode or next week we will be breaking down the newest MCU movie Eternals.
So that's going to be freaking awesome.
Can't wait to freaking see that and see if we agree with what the critics are saying
right now because as it stands recording this episode it is the lowest rated MCU movie.
Just so crazy to think about.
I am pretty sure that we are going to very much disagree with the critics on that one.
Yeah.
No I definitely agree.
But yeah you guys can look forward to that next week but until then this has been the
All Bros podcast.
I am Jonathan.
And I'm Caleb.
And we'll see.
You might want to try that again.
Sorry.
Deuces.
So long.
There we go.
You made it to the end of the segment so please subscribe and hit that like button and for
getting my first one, I just added a link to it.
Because the official link is right down below it.