What is up bros, I'm Caleb and I'm Jonathan and we are a couple of bros on a mission to
give you guys the most detailed movie reviews out there with as little bias as possible.
Welcome to the all bros.
This week on the podcast we got nothing to discuss in 4k spotlight this week, but we
are going to be talking about D23 and let's see five of our favorite announcements that
came out of that.
Unfortunately kind of a disappointing D23.
Yeah, I mean, I didn't, did you actually watch any of the panels?
I wasn't able to.
I had, so I was going to watch it while I was at work because I had like literally nothing
better to do.
But I had to leave.
Really working hard.
I know.
But I had to leave, leave work early to come watch Iris while my, while Brielle went to
a meeting.
And so I wasn't able to capture, like get any of those panels.
Otherwise I would have watched them because I did, that's what I did last year or I did
it with the DC fandom.
The last one that happened then and that one was awesome.
Didn't they put them on a Disney plus?
Yeah.
So you can watch all the panels on Disney plus.
So I might go and do that just to see like things that maybe the articles I've read have
missed, but so far I don't think they've missed too much.
So we'll see.
I'll give it a watch tomorrow maybe depending on, oh, well I got to edit tomorrow, maybe
not tomorrow.
Who knows?
I'll watch it eventually.
All right.
I like it.
Anyway, so yeah, we'll be talking about D23 and then we will be getting into this week's
headliner where we will be breaking down the 2022 remake of Pinocchio.
So with that, let's say we get started.
Let's do it.
Hello, my name is Brecker Nurse.
I want to tell you about my fun horror movie podcast called Autopsy for Horror Movie.
On my show, I like to have fun dissecting out what makes a horror movie scary, what
worked for it, what didn't, what types of fears does it play off of?
Is it an allegory for any sort of message?
I don't know, but let's find out.
Also, I like to watch slashers.
I'm a big slasher guy, so I'll watch a slasher and do a kill grade for it.
I will cover the kills and I will tell you how I would grade it based on shock, methods,
style points and a fourth category that is a reflection of the movie.
Besides those, I will have fun with special topic episodes, commentary tracks, interviews
with guests, including some shuttered directors.
So I just like to have a fun time over here.
If any of this sounds interesting to you or you want to come check me out, please head
over to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or anywhere they listen to podcasts and search for Autopsy
for Horror Movie.
Also be sure to find me on Instagram at Brecker Horror where you get fun updates and some
cool little posts that I do.
Thanks for listening and I hope that you get to enjoy the show and I'll see you on Instagram.
Bye.
Alrighty, starting off with Through the Wall.
Like we said, we'll be talking about our favorite D23 announcements.
So I have three that really caught my eye and Rose, you had two.
So let's just go kind of go back and forth on on it.
So I'll start us off.
The first one that I'm actually really excited for now that I actually have like a roster
is the Thunderbolts.
Like we finally got like an idea of what that team is going to look like and it seems freaking
sick.
I know a lot of people that I saw in the comments were disappointed by this lineup.
I'm not actually.
I think this is a great lineup.
I think it's an amazing lineup too.
So first off, we got Julia Louise Dryfus portraying her character as the basically Thunderbolts
version equivalent of Nick Fury.
Yeah, there you go.
So the Thunderbolts is more like a government based team, which surprisingly enough, Kevin
Feige announced that this is basically saying that the Avengers have disassembled.
Like right now there are no Avengers.
Iron Man's dead.
Hulk is off world if you've been keeping up with She-Hulk and just kind of not doing the
whole team up thing.
Captain America's we're assuming dead just because or just happily retired, whichever.
Yeah, Black Widow's dead.
Thor's off world doing his own thing.
And Hawkeye is happily retired.
Or at least we hope so.
Yeah, so it's just he I'll say this.
He's content doing his own thing.
Like at the very least.
Am I supposed to chime in?
Well, I thought you would have something to say about Hawkeye.
Oh, sorry.
You know, fair enough.
I mean, I'm glad that Clint finally gets to retire.
It's about freaking time.
Like actually, finally.
I will fully admit, though, I would have it would have been cool to see Kate Bishop on
this team, too.
She's not really Thunderbolts, though.
She's like Avengers like these.
Like this.
Like I said, we've got the.
The Nick Fury equivalent of whatever day Fontaine.
And then the like the rest of the team or the lineup, we got Ghost from Ant-Man and
the Wasp, which I'm really excited to see her back.
Yeah, that's awesome.
We got David Harbour's Red Guardian in like a brand new updated suit, which looks awesome.
Yeah, it does.
Let's see, we got Taskmaster.
Which I'm super pumped to see her back.
Yeah, that's awesome.
I honestly didn't think that they were going to bring her back, but that's awesome.
I didn't think they were either.
Like I thought that was like the like with what we saw in Black Widow, I thought that
was going to be the end of the Taskmaster.
Yeah, same here.
I'm very excited to see what we get more, especially with that, with him being one of
the big or with her being one of the big six.
True.
Then we got US Agent.
Which he looks like he's in.
He's in a brand new suit, which looks awesome, or at least new helmet.
Yeah, like I really dig the helmet.
It kind of seems like it has some like streaks of red in it.
Or did we see him in the helmet?
I thought we did at the end.
I need to go back and rewatch that.
Then let's see, we got Yelena Belova, who's going to be like kind of the the lead of this
movie, like the leader of this team, which is going to be awesome.
I freaking love Florence Pugh.
Oh yeah, I love that it's a.
No, sorry, I wasn't going to say it.
I love that it's like the classic like black Black Widow uniform, but with the green vest
over it.
I love it.
Yeah, that looks awesome.
And then surprisingly enough, we were going to get Winter Soldier in this as well.
That threw me through a freaking loop when I showed that.
I'm like, what?
It kind of makes sense though.
Like if you if you think about it like.
They're getting all of these more or less these rogues, these people that don't really
fall under the the hero banner.
Like if I were to go through these, I think.
Ghost was leaning a little bit more towards like the villainous side.
Like these are all people with like questionable morals.
You know, fair enough.
That's a good point.
And it's like none of these people seem to have a problem with killing if that's what
it like comes down to.
I think Bucky is going to be like the odd man out since he was technically like part
of the Avengers.
I think he's more like maybe being a double agent to kind of make sure that these team
or that this team is supposed to be on the straight and narrow.
OK, OK.
And maybe serving as a spy for like the Avengers or what will eventually become the Avengers.
But it's also to like maybe he has like a little suicide squad situation going on where
maybe he has to be part of this team because it's like part of the government stipulation
on his pardon.
I mean, that's what I would would assume.
But no, that's fair.
From what they were saying, it seems like Yelena and Bucky are going to be like the
two main characters and everyone else is kind of going to be off to the side.
I'm cool with that, but like I would have liked to see other characters.
Hopefully, I mean, hopefully they get like at least a little bit of moments to shine,
especially David Harbour's Red Guardian.
But I kind of hate that they just already called out.
Oh, yeah, it's basically Yelena and Bucky's movie.
Yeah, I mean, I think Red Guardian is just going to kind of be attached to Yelena.
And I think that there's going to be the ones that I'm worried about getting kind of pushed
off to the wayside are Ghost and Taskmaster.
Yes.
Oh, I absolutely agree with that.
Like those two, I want to see really good things from.
And what's interesting to me, though, is like, or what's kind of throwing me to all of these
these people seem to be like the same.
Like you got Bucky and US agent.
They're both super soldiers.
You got Ghost and Taskmaster, and they're both like assassins.
And then you got Red Guardian and Yelena that are both like Black Widow spy people.
And I guess if you wanted to throw, if if you didn't like like that comparison, you
can throw Red Guardian into the Bucky and US agent group where it's like super soldier.
Yeah, so it's like, I mean, I know three super soldiers and three assassins.
Please don't leave.
Seen the meme of like people like announcing like they'll show the picture of the team
and they put that the scene from the Suicide Squad where Hydros Elves characters just like
he does the same thing I do.
Yeah.
It's freaking great.
I'm like, you know what?
You got a point there.
Yeah.
So I that's what I'm like really worried about.
It's mainly because like Ghost and Taskmaster, we didn't really get a personality from them.
So I feel like they're going to be kind of thrown to the side.
Like I think they're going to get like the Black Widow Hawkeye treatment.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like we barely got like we literally got like nothing from Taskmaster
and Black Widow Ghost a little bit in A Man and the Wasp, but yeah, I feel you there.
I'm afraid too that it's going to turn into a Hawkeye and Black Widow situation.
Yeah.
The Avengers.
Taskmaster is definitely going to be the Hawkeye in this situation.
Dude straight up.
Like that is absolutely what I'm afraid of.
And you know what?
It works out because she uses a bow too.
Yep.
Like what the way that I view this team like for like the equivalents.
I view Yelena as like Iron Man.
Bucky as Cap.
I would probably throw US Agent in the Thor section.
I can agree with that.
Red Guardian.
He's kind of like a more upbeat Hulk.
Yeah.
Ghost, I would throw in the Black Widow and then Taskmaster definitely Hawkeye.
Like that's like how I see their roles going.
So now when we go when we go to see this movie, I have to do what I did with if they do like
character posters for each one, I got to make sure with Taskmaster I print our poster off
and just duct tape it to a shirt.
You know, got to do exactly what I did with Hawkeye for the Avengers.
That's still one of the stupidest things I've ever done.
It was up there for sure.
Yeah.
But I'm genuinely excited for this show or this movie.
I am too.
Like you said, after finally seeing who actually is a part of the team, it definitely put my
excitement up there.
Yeah.
I'm a little upset that they didn't throw in like abomination.
Yeah, like as like a like a like a placement for Hulk.
Yeah, some like something like that.
Like I would have really liked that.
Like to see that to see like a Hulk equivalent.
Like I didn't necessarily need like them to throw in like a demigod or any of them like
I don't I don't need like just an Avengers but slightly evil.
But I would have really liked to see abomination.
I mean, I've made this at least I made the statement towards you.
What I'm hoping they do is make abomination a little bit more heroic in the public eye
and Hulk becomes a little bit more villainous.
Like goes back to being like Savage Hulk.
And then she Hulk is like the new Hulk.
Like that's what I would really like to see.
And so throwing abomination in this would be really cool.
Or even like Red Hulk because it's called the Thunderbolts.
Like it's like how do you not include Thunderbolt Ross?
No, that's a very good point.
Like I know the actor for Ross passed away, but still.
As I like why Thunderbolts if you just got.
Like it makes me feel like that that that whatever faces de Fontaine is kind of acting
under Ross's authorization.
And this is more like a government approved Avengers.
Fair enough.
So I really would like to see a Red Hulk make an appearance in this.
I think that'd be really cool.
Also like or another thing that could have come from this, like I really like to see
who the villain is going to be in this or what the threat is.
But did you hear about Captain America, the New World Order?
No, huh?
Like we don't have to go too much into this, but they announced that the villain for that
is going to be the leader.
Are they bringing back?
Yes, they are.
Oh shit, dude.
Yeah.
It's only been like a shit ton of years.
But like has it been for almost 14 years?
Damn near.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
So yeah.
So he's going to be back as the leader and I could not be more excited about it.
Hell yeah.
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah.
So that's going to be sick.
Really excited to see that.
Yeah, that's all I really got to say about the Thunderbolt.
It's nothing like real insightful to add about it.
Like you got any other notes?
Not really.
I mean, I'm super excited for it.
All right.
So what was your first D23 item?
So my first is that they are finally because I'm pretty sure that this like marks that
they've literally remade every single Disney classic after this Snow White.
They're finally doing a live action remake of Snow White.
Dude, hell yes.
This is going to be the shit.
I'm so freaking excited.
I'm just very interested to see how they are going to.
It's going to be very interesting to see how they do like the seven dwarves.
Like are they going to actually like hire actors or are they going to do like motion
capture?
I'm very interested.
Yeah, I have it pulled up on IMDB, like what they're wanting to do.
Yeah.
And so far it doesn't look like there's it doesn't seem like they have a cast for the
the dwarves.
Okay.
So they have like a bunch of dancers like cast and whatnot.
So they they're definitely keeping with like musical route.
So that'll be be interesting to see.
But what I'm really excited for is Rachel Zegler, whom most people would know as I want
to say her name is Maria and West Side Story.
Yes.
Yeah, Maria and West Side Story, the new West Side Story, she will be playing Snow White
and Gal Gadot will be playing the Evil Queen.
And that is going to be the shit that really is.
I'm honestly like over the moon just to see how Gal Gadot will act as a horrible person
because she seems too sweet to do it.
But I think I think she knows she kind of has that.
Oh, balls.
What's his name?
The guy who played Gaston.
Oh, Luke Evans.
Yeah.
He kind of has like that Luke Evans vibes where I don't know how well she can play evil.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess we'll find out.
Yeah, we'll see.
So really high hopes for that one.
That movie just I guess you got to say that Disney at least I guess you got to say that
Disney at least liked how Luke Evans played evil considering they brought him back for
Pinocchio.
Oh, yeah.
We'll get into that.
But yeah, really, really excited for Snow White.
I wish there was a little bit more news.
Like I would really be interested to hear what they have going on for the dwarves, like
whether they're going to hire like small people for those roles.
I hope they do.
I hope they go that route.
Yeah.
But yeah, I don't I don't know if like they could go any other route with that.
Other than just not including the seven dwarves, but you can't find I'd be pissed.
Yeah, I'd be pissed if you they didn't include the seven dwarves.
Yeah, that'd be ridiculous.
Oh, anyway, anything else on Snow White?
No, the sad thing, don't get me wrong, I'll definitely watch this when it comes out.
But like the first thing that came to my mind when I saw that announcement, I'm just like,
I swear that that truly makes it that they've remade every single Disney classic.
That's like that.
They've done them all.
Like that's what got me the most excited.
It does feel like that.
Like are they missing any?
Well, okay.
So the question is, do we count Maleficent as a remake for Sleeping Beauty?
Oh, that's the hard one.
Because if we don't, then no.
Yeah, but I don't know if Disney's counting that.
So Disney counts it then yes, I think.
I don't know if they would count that though.
I mean, if they did do a remake of Sleeping Beauty, they best bring back Angelina Jolie
to play Maleficent.
That's all I'm saying.
Fair.
Well, okay, they're missing a couple.
Like they need to do The Sword and the Stone.
They still need to do like Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Like I know that those aren't like the classic Disney, but I mean, Hunchback of Notre Dame
is pretty classic.
Yeah?
Yeah, I'd say.
Oh shit, Hercules.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, they definitely need to do Hercules.
Damn.
Okay.
Oh, we still got a while to go.
Come on, Disney.
I want these all remade before I'm 30.
That's how long you got.
Yeah, I know.
So they have to do it by what?
2026?
Oh, good Lord.
Yeah, please tell me I'm not that close.
I'm that close to being 30?
Yeah, you forget we're four years away from 30.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh my God.
Dude, you think that's messed up?
I'm four years away from having a six year old.
Hey.
I was going to say like a five year old and somehow saying six is worse.
Oh man.
Oh God, don't you love growing up?
I hate growing up.
All right.
Next item, this one's intriguing because it's not, I don't know if this like this is MCU
related.
I don't know where this is going to fall in with other MCU properties because this is
technically a special that will be releasing on Halloween or next month.
It'll be releasing for Halloween.
But this is the Marvel's werewolf by night, which the setup for this dude is the best.
Dude, straight up.
Like setting this up like a murder mystery, but one of the people there is the werewolf.
Like is the is the monster and doesn't seem to know it.
Like that's that's nuts and I love it.
To see.
So Caleb had me watch this trailer right before we recorded because I hadn't seen it yet.
And literally I was just smiling the whole time for like how many throwbacks are to like
classic like horror films like Frankenstein, Creature from the Black Lagoon, is all that
shit just like of how like not like hyped up the trailers are, but how do I explain
there?
Shit, how do you explain these trailers?
I don't know how to explain it other than just saying that there's a bunch of hype.
Yeah, no, that's really good.
It really does.
Like just like, isn't it like the end?
Like they pause for a minute after like they they like close in on like someone's face
and then it shoots the title.
Yeah, yeah, it's like.
Everything that they've done with this or at least that we can see, I am excited for
with this.
It kind of feels like it has that low budget horror movie feel and I'm hoping that that's
the route that they took.
Like I don't want a super crazy like CGI werewolf.
I would much rather just see a practical werewolf.
Same here.
Like if they take this all practically, this will be my favorite like project so far that
they've done.
Completely understandable.
Like don't get me wrong, the CGI is cool and all, but you cannot beat good practical effects.
I'm right.
Or even like cheesy ones, like if that's the route, which it kind of seems like from some
of the images that we saw is kind of like the route that they're going where it kind
of looks a little cheesy, but even that shit's better than CGI on its best day.
Good point.
That is a very good point.
So very excited to see what they do with this and I'm hoping that it's like that they're
willing to take this like far.
At least like with the themes, like hoping that they keep it like adult themed.
Like or at least like I want to see how scary they can go with this.
Like I want to see Marvel get nuts.
I mean I don't know how like scary they'll let them get on Disney Plus, but hopefully
I know that's the biggest thing that I've always been worried about with Disney Plus
that we're just not going to see anything like adult on it.
Which I know that we got like Deadpool and Deadpool 2 on it now and Logan and all that,
but just I want to see more adult related content when it comes to like Marvel.
Oh yeah, absolutely agree.
Like those some Logan and the Deadpools, those weren't like edited at all, right?
Not that I know of.
Okay, good.
I hope not because that'd be freaking bullshit.
Yeah.
I watched both of those movies or all three of those movies on my Movies Anywhere app,
so I know it's not edited.
I have not watched them on Disney Plus yet though.
Okay.
But I think you had to go in and like do like a verification on your age and all that.
Oh shit, really?
Yeah.
I don't know if I've done that yet.
So I don't know if I have Deadpool and Deadpool 2 on my Disney Plus yet.
Okay.
Yeah, so really excited for Werewolf by Night and I think that'd be an interesting bonus
episode to release if it's a movie or like in a movie format.
Yes.
It's like if it's a series we won't, but if it's just like a one-off episode or like short
film situation, like we might talk about it.
I'm down.
Hell yeah.
All right, so what do you got next?
Next up, they officially announced that Inside Out is getting a sequel and when they announced
this, they announced that Amy Poehler is coming back.
They haven't announced if any of the other emotions voice actors are coming back.
Amy Poehler did point out that they will be exploring Riley as a preteen or teenager,
whatever the hell you want to call it.
So a lot of people are just like, or wait, no, I'm sorry.
No, she said that Riley will be getting more emotions with her being older now and everyone
is just like, oh, okay, so that means she's getting a puberty emotion, right?
That was like the first thing that people thought of.
Puberty is not an emotion.
Oh wait, no, it's not puberty.
God damn it.
What's the emotion?
Is it a horny emotion?
No, it's not a horny emotion.
A horny emotion?
That would be funny.
That would be friggin hilarious.
Shit, what would it be called?
God damn it.
I can't think of anything other than horny now.
Like what emotion are you talking about?
I, the one that, you know, like those kind of thoughts come to your head.
Oh, like a desire or a love one?
I don't know if it's love.
Yeah, I.
Okay.
I really liked how they kept the emotions to just those five.
As did I.
And I feel like it almost be retconning itself in a way with like showing the adults that
still only have the five, like her mom and her dad still only had those five emotions
within them.
It's like, obviously their control panel was bigger.
So it's like, Hey, we got more shit that we can do with those emotions, but they weren't
like new emotions.
That's a good point.
So I mean, I feel like obviously they can, they can do more like, obviously like we only
saw like the control room with, with those other emotions.
So maybe that maybe there are more emotions outside of the control room, like who knows
and maybe it's just those five that are in charge, but I think if they try to introduce
more emotions, they they're retconning themselves.
And I don't know if I would like that.
I do really like the idea of them exploring the puberty aspect and like that.
I mean, and honestly, I know like, you know, some people would say, Oh yeah, but I, I wouldn't
expect Pixar to go down that road.
We saw it turning red, right?
Like yeah, I feel like they, they, they were insanely inappropriate.
Yeah.
So they've already, they've already touched upon this stuff.
It's not out of the ordinary for Pixar anymore.
So I feel that maybe though, if they might keep it maybe a little more tame and inside
out too.
I feel like they'll go as, as crazy as they did in turning red with Malin.
Yeah.
Like for real dude, it's just, I think they have a really good opportunity to explore.
I think inside out could have been like, like I, I need to think of what I'm saying first.
I think inside out is a really good resource for people trying to navigate their emotions.
And I, I feel like it's a shame that we haven't gotten more inside out stuff.
Yeah, I can agree with that.
I think it'd be really, I think it'd be really cool for them to release more of these, these
types of videos or these movies, these types of movies where it's exploring different phases
of, of Riley's life.
Like we, we got her as a, as a kid, like as a younger kid where her emotions are pretty
much like, you could take them at face value.
Like obviously like children emotions aren't too, aren't too complicated to navigate.
Like they're either happy or they're sad or they're like, they're upset.
Like it's very easy to tell.
And I think that they chose like the right story to tell with like being a teenager and
like struggling with new emotions and going through that growth of like, of preteen.
And I think this, like the next step, like obviously going through puberty, like that's
a great exploration that they can go through.
And then I think that they could even take this a step further and go like later years.
So like maybe have this one be like early teens, the next one being like late teens,
like early twenties, and then like more as you grow, as Riley grows older.
Like I think that you could share all those stories and have really good relatable stories.
Yeah, I absolutely agree.
So it's just, I'm excited to see what they bring with this.
I will say I am really worried that they're going to not do great things with it and have
this be like a very average movie when I feel this has the potential to be on the same level,
if not better than the first.
Yeah, I really hope it's a great sequel because Inside Out is one of Pixar's best movies ever.
So I'm both scared and excited.
Yeah.
So I'm pumped.
I'm pumped.
Same here.
I'm going to be watching this movie very closely.
All right.
Um, all right.
Last up, we got the Little Mermaid to talk about.
And this movie has been catching a load of shit.
It is the dumbest reasons.
Yeah, it is super dumb.
So if you don't know, they recast or they cast Ariel to be a black actress and the internet
is going nuts.
Yeah.
Like, there are so many people, like people are really showing that, like with shit like
this, people really show their true colors and it pisses me off.
Dude, straight up.
It's bullshit.
So everyone's throwing like a big old fit about Ariel being black.
The name's Halle Bailey.
Yeah, Halle Bailey.
And she looks incredible.
Damn right she does.
Dude, the CGI on this looks awesome.
Or at least from what we've seen so far, hopefully it's not just the trailer making this seem
like it's better than it is.
Frickin' better not.
I know.
But it looks like it's going to be beautifully shot.
Like the underwater scenes look incredible.
I think the only complaint is maybe it's just not as colorful as I would like it because
the Little Mermaid, the original Little Mermaid is like extremely colorful.
So maybe that might be my only complaint that they maybe went a little too far with the
hey, we're underwater thing.
And other than that, no complaints.
Like she is an incredible singer.
Oh my god, don't get me started.
Holy shit.
I almost started tearing up when I first heard her start singing.
I know, if there's anything I'm pissed off about is that she didn't sing more.
Yeah, right?
I wanted the whole version of Party That World.
I know, I'm just like, gosh, you're just going to give us this one clip?
Frickin' assholes.
Seriously, this is bullshit.
Oh, but it looks like it's going to be good.
And it seems like they're keeping pretty true.
Like, I don't know if you caught it, but it seemed like there was a flounder in there.
I did not actually, nice catch.
Yeah, I mean, I might be wrong.
Let me just play it back.
I have it open on.
Okay, yeah, it looks like there's a flounder looking fish following her when she's swimming
up to the surface.
Oh, okay.
If it's not, there is just a fish following her if it's not flounder.
I like it.
But she looks really good.
I like how her hair is in dreads and not just this perfect flowing red mane.
It feels a little bit more realistic that way.
It honestly does.
She just has a great look overall.
I think they got everything right in this.
They got the color of her fins damn near perfect.
One thing I can't tell is how they handled the transition from fin to skin.
You know what I mean?
You know how in the original Little Mermaid it kind of looked like she was wearing a really
thick belt around the fish part.
I can't really see that in this version.
But regardless...
Maybe when the actual first trailer comes out, maybe if we see her in a little more
of light, we might actually notice her.
Maybe.
I can't get a good clear shot of that transition.
I like what they did with the tail, making it seem a little bit more complicated and
not just one big ass fin.
It's like multiple fins spread out like how a fish would be.
Kind of like a zebrafish if you've seen one of those.
Yeah that's true.
But I don't know what everyone's complaining about.
I love how people are just like, oh well for that area, Little Mermaid's supposed to be
Danish or something.
Well Danish people are typically white.
Well cool, she's not Danish, she's Atlantean.
Freaking dumb bitches and Atlantis is fake.
So guess what?
She can be whatever race they want.
Yes exactly.
And I don't know why everyone's bitching, we're getting Terry Crews as King Triton.
I could give a shit about Ariel.
I love that.
Yeah I'm pissed we didn't get to see Triton.
I was telling Caleb this earlier, I saw this on a TikTok.
One guy, someone commented on, I guess he had made an earlier video talking about how
it's so stupid how people are throwing it out of line about her being a black actress.
And someone said, well God what next they're gonna make Moana white?
And he came up back with, if you watch the movie it is clearly pointed out that Moana
and her whole tribe are Polynesian.
Polynesian people aren't white.
That's not how it works.
And yeah, and you know mermaids don't exist so they can literally just be any color.
Polynesian people are specifically one color.
What you saying?
Yeah.
Dude I just- aww son of a bitch!
What?
I just pulled up the IMDB for the Little Mermaid.
Yeah?
And now I'm pissed off.
Why?
So it's not Terry Crews playing King Triton.
Oh it's not?
No it's Javier Bardem.
Which I mean-
Interesting.
Yeah I know he's like a great actor and everything but-
Come on!
I don't know I actually like that better.
Do you really?
I already said that.
Dude I love Javier Bardem so I love that casting.
Alright.
I'm just looking at like the cast right now.
They have a pretty decent cast.
So Melissa McCarthy will be playing Ursula which I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I'm honestly amazed people aren't more up in arms about that.
That's all I'm gonna say.
Well I mean I'm cool with it.
I actually like- well just cause there are so many people that hate Melissa McCarthy.
Okay that's bullshit cause Melissa McCarthy is a gem.
She is.
I just don't know if she's the right fit for Ursula.
I can understand that.
I think she can do a great job.
I'm very excited for it.
But yeah just literally the joke for so many people is oh yeah Melissa McCarthy she sucks
right out of Hollywood.
No.
Melissa McCarthy is amazing and hilarious.
It's not her fault that she gets given shit roles.
Yeah.
Seriously I feel bad for her.
But I'm excited.
I'm excited to see what she does.
I personally and this might just be like I don't know like what category this would fall
under.
I personally would have gone the route of choosing a drag queen for Ursula.
Oh my god yes.
Like not quite RuPaul because he-
Yes queen yes.
Like I would have gone with like a heftier like kind of the same build as Melissa McCarthy
just drag.
I would have loved to see that.
Same hair man.
Same hair.
So a little bummed out that we're not getting that but I'm I have high hopes that she's
gonna like blow me away.
Hopefully.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Oh it looks like they're not killing off Ariel's mom.
No shit.
Yeah because they have a queen cast.
Damn.
So that's gonna be the shit.
Let's see.
We have a David or David Diggs who's voicing Sebastian.
Which what did he do?
Okay so he's done a little bit of voice work.
I don't know if he's seeing.
Oh he's a singer.
It's in his freaking bio.
So excited for that.
Jacob Tremblay is voicing Flounder.
Awkwafina is voicing Scuttle.
And then there's a rumor that Lin-Manuel Miranda is gonna be Chef Louis.
Oh yeah I like that a lot.
I love that.
So I'm excited.
I'm really excited for this and I think the the shit that this movie is getting is stupid.
I absolutely agree.
It's bullshit.
Yeah but real quick we are going to do a quick little review of the YouTube comments.
As suggested to us by Adam from the Simmons and Moore podcast.
And dude these comments are the shit.
So have you seen the Little Mermaid trailer?
Yes I have.
Okay that is important for you to have seen for these comments.
The first comment is the part where Ariel says it's over Anakin I have the high ground
made me cry goosebumps.
The part when Ariel said I am the knight I am vengeance I am Batman it was so great to
finally see in live action actually made me tear up it was on par with Morbius saying
it's morbin time.
Oh good lord.
The scene when Ariel sees Lieutenant Dan walking on his titanium alloy legs and says magic
legs had me in tears.
The part where Ariel says I got two words for you shake and bake gave me chills.
The part where Ariel says I live my life a quarter mile at a time left me weak in the
knees literal chills.
The part where Ariel says I am the terror that swims in the night was absolutely brilliant
I cried actual tears.
The part where Ariel said Avengers assemble made me tear up and made my timbers shivered
it was truly amazing.
The part where Ariel says what do you mean you people was Oscar worthy.
The part when Ursula says Prince Eric my dear Ariel welcome to Jurassic Park and proceeds
to show a herd of Brachiosaurus swimming truly touched my heart this is one of the most movies
of all time.
The part where Ariel says that's my secret cap I am always angry gave me chills such
an iconic moment from the Little Mermaid.
The part where Ariel says you can't handle the truth made me cry more when my iguana
died.
And the part where Ariel says and you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance
upon thee really tickled my fancy.
How is Disney not blocked these early turn off comments.
The part where Ariel looks at Sebastian and said we ride together we die together bad
voice for life brought tears to my eyes amazing performance.
The part where Ariel says I taught I taught a putty tat and I break down and cry for the
first time in years bravo.
The part where Ariel asks what's your favorite scary movie.
It was so chilling.
The part where Sebastian says she's starting to believe and then Ariel stops all the bullets
with her mind sent chills down my spine just stunning.
The part where Ariel soars through the air in her car and lands it perfectly between
other parked vehicles before shouting like a glove cried tears of joy.
Dude this goes on for days.
Oh my god.
It's just like comment after comment after comment like this.
That is hilarious.
Wow.
And if I was given this in all bros letter grade this would be an A plus for the comment
section alone.
Yeah you know I can absolutely agree with that.
Oh man.
Okay wow.
So that's the last D23 item that we're going to be talking about tonight.
And yeah.
So with that let's say we move on to this week's headliner where we break down Pinocchio.
Let's do it.
Alrighty for this week's headliner like I said we will be breaking down the 2022 remake
of Pinocchio.
If you are new to our breakdown system we have split movies into eight different categories
that we individually score to come to a final all bros letter grade.
The categories that we score are story writing acting character development effects music
costumes and then we give it our own personal score at the very end.
All of those numbers get magically added up and thrown into our algorithm and spits out
a letter grade for us to compare this movie to other movies of a similar letter grade
and percentage.
So with that if you have not seen Pinocchio 2022 go check it out but we would also assume
that you haven't seen the original Pinocchio and if you haven't seen the original Pinocchio
you're many many many years too late.
So we are about to spoil this entire movie for you.
So if you listen past this own point and something is ruined for you it is your own damn fault.
So with that Rose we'll be reading off the synopsis for this movie in our favorite segment
reading with Rose with two E's.
I love how you say favorite segment just because you enjoy watching me fuck up.
Don't call me out like that.
I am.
Late one night in a small Italian village in 1895 Jiminy Cricket enters the home of
a widowed elderly woodcarver named Geppetto who lives with his pet kitten Figaro and his
goldfish Cleo.
Geppetto has completed work on a marionette based on his deceased son which he names Pinocchio.
Before retiring to bed Geppetto makes a wish on a star.
Later that night the star magically brings Pinocchio to life and he is soon visited by
the Blue Fairy who tells him that if he acts brave truthful and selfless he can be a real
boy.
The Blue Fairy also appoints Jiminy the responsibility of being Pinocchio's conscience to teach him
right from wrong.
When Geppetto awakens and finds Pinocchio alive he is at first shocked but becomes overjoyed.
After a few days Geppetto decides that the time has come to send Pinocchio to school.
However Pinocchio is soon approached by con artist Fox Honest John and his cat partner
Gideon.
Honest John convinces Pinocchio that he should live a life of fame in order to truly be a
real boy when he really plans to sell him to the puppet master Stromboli in exchange
for money.
When Jiminy with the help of a seagull named Sophia convinces him to continue going to
school Pinocchio is then thrown out by the headmaster on account of being a puppet.
Pinocchio decides to go to Stromboli's after all with Jiminy unable to stop him when Honest
John places a glass jar over him.
At Stromboli's theater Pinocchio befriends one of Stromboli's employees Fabiana and
her puppet Sabina.
Neil puts on a good show for the crowd but Stromboli locks him in a bird cage to prevent
him from ever leaving.
Soon Stromboli's coach ends up freeing Jiminy from the jar and when he enters the coach
he manages to help Pinocchio escape when Pinocchio has him reach the keys to the lock on the cage
by telling lies to make his nose grow long.
Geppetto, Figaro and Cleo go out to look for Pinocchio when he fails to come home for dinner.
Soon Pinocchio is swiped up by a coach full of children driven by a charismatic coachman
who is taking all the boys and girls to Pleasure Island, an island where misbehaved children
are encouraged.
When they reach the island Pinocchio slowly gets disturbed by the amount of sadism the
kids commit much to the amusement of an irresponsible boy named Lampwick.
When Jiminy who got separated from Pinocchio again makes it to the island he soon finds
out that all the boys and girls have turned into donkeys and the coachman sells them to
the salt mines with help from his fog like henchmen.
Pinocchio witnesses Lampwick get transformed himself at a billboard hall and he and Jiminy
escape the island before the coachman and his goons can get them but not before Pinocchio
gains donkey ears and a tail.
Pinocchio and Jiminy make it back to Geppetto's but find that he's not home because Sofia
gave him a flyer of Pleasure Island to let him know where Pinocchio is and he sold all
of his clocks to buy a boat to go there.
How expensive is a frickin' boat?
For how much that one guy was offering Geppetto for that one clock at the beginning, while
trying to find Geppetto Pinocchio reunites with Fabiana and Sabina who tell him that
Stromboli has been arrested by the Carabinari for the abuse of his exploited employees and
they have taken over his puppet show.
They offer Pinocchio to join them but Pinocchio declines wanting to save his father which
makes the abuse of his exploited...
Wait, sorry.
Wow, okay, sorry.
So because he declines that makes his donkey parts disappear.
Sofia pulls a rope for Pinocchio to hold out to the sea where they soon find Geppetto in
his boat.
Just as they reunite they are swallowed by a giant sea monster named Monstro.
They take refuge in a giant boat in Monstro's stomach and Pinocchio gets the idea to make
him sneeze by starting a fire within him.
The plan is successful and Monstro sneezes them out but he gives a chase that ends with
him and the group crashing on dry land and seemingly killing Geppetto.
Believing his father has died Pinocchio mourns over him and a magical tear falls from his
eye on Geppetto reviving him.
Okay, okay, sorry.
Geppetto then tells Pinocchio that despite being a puppet he has proven himself to be
a true boy at heart for all that he's done and they depart for home.
Meanwhile Jiminy says in his narration that stories have been told that Pinocchio is becoming
a real boy but doesn't confirm if they are true or not.
He's stressing that what matters is that Pinocchio has the heart of a real boy, brave, truthful
and unselfish and that he's fully real to his loving proud father.
Yeah.
I think if anyone can tell by the tone of your voice you have very strong opinions on
that ending.
I do.
Quite a lot.
But we'll get to that.
Alright well, let's just knock this out with getting into our story.
I don't know if I had as many problems with the story as you might have.
I think, like I told you this before, like while we were talking about it a little earlier.
I feel like they took out a lot of the fluff from the original.
Yes.
Like they took out a lot of the scenes where it just like kind of goes to kind of the pointless
stuff.
Like one of the things that I was kind of glad that they got rid of was the whole underwater
scene where Pinocchio was hunting for or was searching for Monstro.
Like underwater and like tied his tail to a rock and did all that.
Like I'm so glad they got rid of that.
Oh come on, you don't want to see the fish try to steal Jiminy's hat again?
No.
I don't.
Oh shit.
I will admit I didn't mind that change.
I wish that in the freaking original that he could freaking like paddle his feet like
he could in this movie.
Where the hell was that in the original?
Yeah, no shit.
Where did that come from?
Yeah.
That pulled me out of the movie a little bit.
I'm just like that's not how anything works.
Yeah, dude, it straight up reminded me of like freaking Dash and the Incredibles.
Oh my gosh, yes.
I'm like dude, that was such a load of crap.
First off, like if he had fins, maybe.
Just his little dinky ass rounded boots.
No way in hell you're out swimming a freaking sea monster.
Yeah.
Speaking of the sea monster, I hate that they made it out to not be a whale.
It's a straight up sea monster.
The way they hype up that it's a sea monster.
Now in the original, it's just the whale.
Of course kids will say, oh yeah, yeah, it's a sea monster.
But no, it's just straight up a whale.
That's all it is.
It's called monster, but it's just straight up a whale.
The way that they made him look in this movie, yeah, he definitely looks like a sea creature,
like a scary sea creature, but that really pissed me off that it doesn't exactly look
just like a damn plain whale.
Dude, I was losing my mind at that change.
I didn't mind it because it kept, at least for me, it scared the shit out of me.
I wouldn't say it scared me.
Dude, I probably wasn't scared because I was so pissed off.
Dude, I don't know if I'm just like recent, I don't know when this happened, but anything
that's like a giant ass creature in a distance or in some sort of dark abyss and you can
just see the eyes or some shit like that scares the ever living shit out of me.
And so I had such an extreme reaction when they were in the boat and then you just see
the freaking mouths enclose them.
I flipped out.
I was like, oh my god, I don't like that.
I don't like that.
Dude, there's a scene.
So there's a movie on Netflix right now.
It's called The Sea Beast.
I have not watched it, even though I've heard nothing but good things about it, because
there is a scene exactly like that.
Where like I caught a clip in a video where this dude is swimming down in the ocean, like
in the middle of the ocean.
He's swimming downward to save this little girl from drowning.
He gets the little girl and then he pauses and looks down.
When he looks down, it's like a top down view.
So you see him and he's really small, right?
And then it's just like eternal abyss.
And then a quick little moment happens and then you see the face of this sea creature
appear like super bright eyes and then you see the dark mouth and I'm like, absolutely
the not.
I am like terrified.
I don't know what it's about.
It seems like that.
Or like if you remember Stranger Things, when you see the mind flayer from like season two?
Yeah, season two, where you see like it's like nothing in the clouds and then lightning
strikes and then you see the freaking mind flayer.
Oh, yeah.
Shit like that scares the hell out of me, too.
Like it's it's it's freaking.
Kaiju shit scares the ever living bejesus out of me.
Oh, dude, I love it.
And so like what they did with him just made like with monstro made me so much more afraid
of him than I was when he was just a whale.
I thought it was kind of dumb.
Like I thought like looking back, like I can definitely agree with you.
They probably should just kept it a whale.
Yeah.
But I think that the tentacles just added a little something that was a little bit more
unsettling for me.
OK, I can understand where you're coming from.
I'm not sure how you liked it.
Did you like the addition of the puppeteer girl?
Yeah, I actually did.
I thought that was that was actually a really good addition.
Yeah, I really like that, too.
Like I thought she was a great character.
It's like and the way that she used her puppeteering abilities to connect with Pinocchio.
Yeah, because like I don't know, it was cool seeing Pinocchio actually being able to like
make a friend besides, you know, Jiminy, of course.
But I mean, yeah, in the original, literally all that he has is Jiminy and his father,
because literally we all know Figaro and the I mean, Figaro, she like I feel like she loves
and hates Pinocchio.
Yeah, because and then she what's the fish's name?
I always forget the fish's name.
I don't know why.
Yeah, I forget it, too.
I'm gonna feel stupid if I don't remember it.
Cleo that's her name.
So I do like that this one, you know, Pinocchio was able to, you know, make a friend with
everything that went on with Stromboli.
That like, even when he gets trapped and you know, Sabina comes down, he's just like, you
know, I feel that you might be the only one I can trust.
I can't trust anybody else in this.
I can't even trust.
Oh my god, what was her name again?
Fabiana?
Yeah, yeah.
Like he even says I can't trust her either.
Can't, of course, can't trust Stromboli.
So I actually really liked the fact that he was actually able to find closeness with another
puppet.
That was actually really cool.
Yeah, honestly, my only complaint with Fabiana and Sabina was that Sabina had a different
voice.
And it felt it felt weird that voice coming out of Fabiana.
And I don't think the actress that played Fabiana did a very good job at like doing
the lip syncing.
That is fair.
I will give you that when they cut to her actually like, you know, like doing that,
you might want to try a little harder.
I get your your young.
Exactly.
That was a little practice.
Yeah, work on it.
Just the hair.
Yeah.
But I mean, I feel like they kept pretty true to the original source material while throwing
in some of like some updated.
Yeah, you know, might as well just bring it up now.
The biggest thing that I feel that pisses a lot of fans off of the original and honestly,
I'm in that same boat because I think I said this like before last episode when we were
announcing they were reviewing Pinocchio.
Pinocchio is actually my favorite classic Disney movie.
I freaking love that movie to death.
And so when I like saw like, oh, the ending is going to piss off like fans of the original,
like they change it.
Like I'm like, well, like how bad like what what did they change?
And like I read, it's not clearly pointed out if he becomes a real boy or not.
Literally some people say, oh, he became a real boy or no, it's just he has the heart
of a real boy.
Because in the original Pinocchio is presumed dead because in the original it's not Geppetto
that presumably dies.
It's Pinocchio.
And when he comes, when they bring Pinocchio back to Geppetto's workshop, the blue fairy
appears, she brings him back.
And because of his selflessness and everything that he did for his father, she truly believes
that he's become a real boy and he becomes a real boy.
And it's great.
I love it.
I love that ending.
I don't I'm sorry.
I don't like that.
It's it's not a oh, he's he's specifically a real boy or no, he actually wasn't able
to become a real boy.
I don't like that.
It's up for question.
Like, oh, some say this, but some say this.
I hate that.
I'm sorry.
It has to be one or the other.
Okay.
I have like I rewatch the ending and you absolutely do see the wooden joints of Pinocchio go away.
Oh, you do?
Yes.
Oh, so you can see why the hell did Jiminy say that?
I don't know.
I thought that was that was also dumb.
But it's just they did show, but I understand why they kind of left it ambiguous.
I I get it because think about like how the original happened or what happened in the
original.
He was laying down on the bed, right?
And then it's like fairy magic and he slowly turns into a real boy.
And then the real boy version of himself looks exactly like the puppet version, right?
Other than like the nose and some other features, right?
Yeah.
The reason I feel they did not show that is because they how do you like make that transition?
Like, how do you make that transition from like puppet to real boy with where it's like
an exact one for one without it looking weird?
God damn it.
You got a point there.
God, you son of a bitch.
I know I don't like it.
But why don't you like it?
You make a very good point.
I know I would have really liked to see Pinocchio, but it also would have been weird to see a
puppet sized child.
Fair enough.
It's just still weird that I think they should have made Pinocchio bigger and actually shown
the fate like the full body and everything.
Well, I mean, couldn't they have, I mean, because it's showed clearly that the literally
when the blue fairy comes, the picture that Geppetto has of his deceased son, all of those
personalities are put into Pinocchio because literally the blue fairy shines or blasts her
magic on the picture of his deceased son and that bounces off into Pinocchio.
So I'm wondering, because I don't know where they got that picture from or like who that
actor was.
Do you think if that if like they literally just took a kid and like, you know, like black
and black and white did that picture, do you think they could have used that kid to transition
to real boy?
I don't know, because it's not.
He modeled Pinocchio after his son.
He wasn't trying to like replace his son.
Good point.
So I think if they would have just used the whatever picture of the kid or the actor from
the picture and it had been like a clone of his son, I think that would have been weird.
All right.
Fair enough.
It's just like, hey, my my son's dead, but I have his clone that I made out of wood and
then he sacrifices or then I sacrificed myself for him.
And then now he's like a real boy, but now he looks exactly like my my dead son.
I think that would have been weird.
Speaking of his to see son in that picture, how did you feel about them explaining with
how, you know, Geppetto is with what he lost his wife and they lost his son.
How did you feel about that explanation?
Because that is not explained.
That is not in the original at all.
They they never mentioned that at all.
No son, no wife.
I did not hate it.
I think I don't know.
I didn't hate it.
It explained to me why Geppetto wanted a child.
Yeah, it's like because it's it.
It felt a little creepy in the original where Geppetto is just like, I just want a son.
I'm like, hey, why don't you go out and date?
Like if you want a son, you don't have to wish for one upon a star.
You can go and frickin have a you don't even have to do that much work.
You could go like hire a hooker and be like, hey, you're talking about a frickin hooker
in 1895.
It's not like they were uncommon.
It's just the way you're talking about, so yeah, you know, adopt don't shop when it comes
to your son.
Yeah, like you don't even have to like fall in love to have a child.
Like you can have a child on accident.
I just don't think Geppetto was trying hard enough.
At least the animated one.
The animated Geppetto could have tried a little harder.
This Geppetto, I completely understand his reasoning for wishing for it or like wishing
for Pinocchio to be a real boy.
See, I don't know.
Maybe it's just me.
I feel he got a little too fixated on him becoming a real boy with the fact like, oh,
you know, wouldn't it be so cool, Figaro, if he became a real boy because I modeled
him after my dead son?
And this is probably sounding like a frickin asshole.
But just, I don't know, in the original he's just like, oh, you know, I feel they went
into like a little too much detail, not detail, but him like really pushing for Pinocchio
to be a real boy.
And it's a little too much.
Like, in this one?
Okay, maybe I'm explaining this part too hard for it in the original.
Really?
Because I feel the opposite.
Just I don't know, like for how much detail, for how much like he points out like, oh,
you know, like I said, like how he's like, oh, you know, since I modeled him after my
dead son, wouldn't it be so cool if he could actually come to life and be a real boy?
I think it's the fact that like him pointing out, because like in the original, like there's
no mention of him having a deceased son.
I think it's the deceased son for me, for some reason, that just makes it like a little
weird.
Dude, I think it's weird for an old man to be wishing for a child.
Hey man, Disney got a Disney.
I know, I know Disney's got a Disney, but still, it just feels like a little shady.
But I mean, I get you.
I think maybe they did push for a little harder in this one.
If there is, and I was telling Caleb this, if there's one thing that I actually liked
that they did like add depth to is the fact that there is actually like from the moment
Pinocchio comes to life and between when he goes to school, there is actually like a little
bit of leeway between that of like, you know, Geppetto, like actually like getting him accustomed
to life living there, you know, maybe like teaching him some things.
Whereas because I think like he's just like, oh, well, you know, like, I think it's time
for it because I believe he's telling Figaro and Cleo like, oh, I think it's time that
Pinocchio starts school.
I think that's right for him.
Whereas in the original, literally the exact same fricking night that he comes to life,
they're all laying in bed and he's just like, oh, you know, like we need to get to sleep
and Pinocchio's like, why?
He's like, well, everybody needs sleep and you got school tomorrow.
I'm like, well, that was fricking fast.
You're not even going to like enjoy time with your son now.
Like fine, send him off.
Like Caleb pointed out, CinemaSins pointed out, Geppetto is like the like shitty uncle
that literally doesn't want any quality time.
Literally just to ship him off to school.
Yeah, they're there.
He's their problem now.
Yeah.
Like what?
Okay, like if I'm putting myself in that same situ, like the exact same Geppetto situation
and I were to build a puppet, wish for it to become real and then it came to life.
The idea of that puppet going to school would not even cross my mind.
Like there's no way.
Like it's just like, like it's a completely normal thing.
Like that's like what fricking throws me off.
Like with the original one, it's just like what?
It's like, oh, wooden boy, just another day in this little village.
Like what?
I mean, I guess you have a walking, like a walking and talking fox and all.
Yeah, dude, straight up.
I don't know about you, but like even in like the animated one, especially in this live
action one when you see like the kids walking by and Honest John says like, oh, you know,
little squirts heading off to school, you know, all that stuff.
And I'm just like, if I was a little kid, I'd like freaking start screaming and running
if I saw a talking fox.
Yeah, like what in the actual hell?
And then it just kind of makes me think like it's kind of like one of the the Pluto goofy
scenario with Figaro and Honest or and what's his name?
Gideon.
Yeah, Gideon.
Like, OK, who's the who's the freak?
It's actually like a full like a full sentient cat that like has the ability to walk and
talk and just chooses not to and wants to be a pet or is it Gideon that's the odd one
out?
We need answers, Disney.
Yeah, like they really need to address the frickin Pluto.
They really do.
Yeah, dude, straight up.
Yeah, that has always bugged me, too.
Yeah.
And dude, what even like freaks me out more is like the the wonderful world of Mickey
Mouse on Disney Plus.
Like I've we've seen frickin goofy walking Pluto.
Like this is just quite a Twilight Zone shit is this.
Yeah, this is just there's a little no bueno area here.
And unfortunately, I feel like Pluto's the freak.
Oh, shit.
But anyway.
Oh, may I get back into Pinocchio?
They like I said, I feel like they follow the source material as well as they could.
The intro for it, like when you see Jiminy Cricket and or when we meet Jiminy Cricket
and him jumping around from from place to place and finding like a good place to stay
at your pedos or whatever and like the whole conscious thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Did Jiminy play a bigger part in the original?
Because it felt like this whole story could have happened without Jiminy.
Yes.
Oh, he absolutely did.
Pinocchio could in my opinion, Pinocchio could not happen without Jiminy Cricket.
This one could have.
Absolutely.
And that's like nothing bad to say about the actor for our Joseph Gordon Levitt, who voiced
Jiminy Cricket.
He he was not going to say that for acting.
Yeah.
But yeah, I feel like they they kind of sidelined Jiminy a lot.
And then it just felt like bullshit.
I felt like they just convenience their way into including him or getting him back into
like the story.
Yeah, because like honestly, it felt like they tried to put more focus on pedo.
And I'm sorry, I did not like that.
Nothing against Tom Hanks.
It's just that's not how the original goes.
Like I didn't really need as much backstory as they give for Geppetto.
Yeah.
Dude, I want to know why in the hell Geppetto felt like it was a good idea to sell his entire
home and all of his clocks and all like all that shit to buy a shitty ass boat.
Dude, like after not leaving his house for who knows how long.
Yeah.
And that was like another thing that I was feeling like, why like, hey, you got this
this magical boy that you're just kind of sending to school.
Wouldn't you want to walk with him to make sure he gets there first off, not just give
him directions, then making sure that the the people that are teaching are OK with this
sudden wooden boy appearing?
Yeah, instead, he just literally points to the kids just walking to school.
Oh, yeah, just follow them.
You're good.
Yeah.
But and then like later it's addressed like, oh, I haven't left the house in this in so
long.
Like, OK, cool.
We could have used that backstory a little bit when it was like, hey, are you going to
walk me to school?
And then like, oh, no, I haven't left the whole like explain it like and not make like
for a while.
I just felt like Geppetto was being negligent.
Maybe it's sorry.
One more thing with the story.
It's not like he wasn't born this weekend.
I just want to point one more change that but and it's like it's such a little change
and I don't know why it like bugged this shit out of me.
I want your opinion.
So when in the original when Geppetto goes to look for Pinocchio, it's just him that
goes.
It's just him.
He lives.
He leaves Figaro and Cleo, Cleo, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
He he leaves them home because like, you know, like he already had dinner made and everything.
And I mean, I said in this one, but, you know, he tells, you know, like nobody to eat it.
We you know, we won't eat until Pinocchio gets we I bring Pinocchio home and little.
It's just him that goes.
Whereas in this one, he brings Figaro and Cleo.
And I just feel that's like I'm sorry, unnecessary baggage, not that they're baggage, but just
I feel like they're going to slow you down, especially having to carry Cleo's big ass
fishbowl.
Do can you scream plot convenience with freaking Cleo's fishbowl?
Dude, right?
Freaking late ridiculous.
The way that like when he's like heading out and the way that like Tom Hanks was holding
it and like shaking it so bad, I'm like, dude, literally half of that water is going to be
gone by the time you step out the door.
Yeah.
Dude, freaking hell.
When I'm so glad that they addressed all of the shit that Pinocchio was somehow able to
do in one day.
That was funny.
I will admit to that.
I'm given props for that in writing, but I'm so glad that they addressed that.
They're like, oh, I became famous.
And like, just thinking back, he did a whole like he had a whole performance.
Like, ready to go at Stromboli's in less than like a couple hours.
Yeah, that's true.
Like what?
Very true.
Yeah, seriously, though.
Yeah.
And then he got kidnapped to go to freaking Pleasure Island.
Like, ridiculous.
I mean, we haven't even gotten to the whole like Pleasure Island thing.
Oh, yeah.
Shit.
I am so glad that they that they changed it to root beer.
Dude, yeah, because I was watching the original.
I'm like, wait, they're not drinking a lot.
Oh, yeah, it's the cigars.
I forgot about that.
Yep.
I honestly loved that the show showman show was his name.
Coachman Coachman.
Thank you.
I'm amazed that they never gave him a name in the original, but whatever.
They didn't give him a name in this one either.
Yeah, that's weird.
But whatever.
Like literally just like out of nowhere, he would just like literally come up from the
ground and be like, hey, here's another root beer.
Yeah, I I really like that they included him a bit more.
I did, too.
I mean, what I wish is that because like when was the last time you watched the original?
It's been a long time.
Like, that's why I watched the the cinema sins in preparation for this episode, because
I knew they would cover most of it.
Because I forgot about the scene actually in the movie.
There's a part where before the coachman takes the kids to Pleasure Island, there's a part
where he actually meets with Honest John and Gideon.
And you know, he's telling him that, oh, you know, I can if you get me some like, you know,
stupid kids in the night or you know what I mean?
You know, I'll pay fancy for it.
And he even it goes into detail with like the frickin like, oh, you know, like I turn him
into donkeys and, you know, take him to salt mines and everything.
And I like honestly forgot that that was an actual scene in the in the animated one.
So it would have been nice to actually have the coachman and Honest John like have that
sort of like interaction more instead of them being like, oh, like honestly, in in this
movie, I feel like they never even crossed paths.
But at the same time, I don't know if that could have worked.
What do you think?
The way they went about it worked just fine, where it's just like, hey, getting picked
up at a street corner, which kind of felt a little hooker esque, but a frickin little
bit.
Yeah.
So I think I think they went about it the best way that they could.
And without it feeling like super out of place.
Like yes, it did feel like it came out of nowhere.
But they explained it in a way where I'm like, OK, I get that.
Fair enough.
Like you pointed out, though.
It's also like I feel like sorry, I mean, just no, I think the way that they set up
Pinocchio and his his his innocence, I don't think he would have chosen to go to Pleasure
Island.
Like how did he how did he get wrapped up in that in the original?
So in the original, it's so he runs into Honest John and Gideon again.
And it's them that persuade him to go to Pleasure Island because that's like make his dad proud
as if he's able to like go go there or some shit like that.
And then like literally after they're able to talk him into it, it just cuts to him already
being in the stagecoach.
OK, yeah.
So I do not feel like that would have worked out.
I think he had negative feelings towards Honest John.
And and all that and like was upset.
And I think it would have been a stretch for him to like buy into the whole Pleasure Island
thing if Honest John were the one to try and sell it to him.
That is fair.
That is that is absolutely fair.
So I think the the original Pinocchio was a little bit more naive.
To Yeah, fair enough.
To everything going on around him.
I think this Pinocchio was able to learn fairly quickly.
And so I think it made sense for him to be pulled into the situation rather than choosing
to go into it.
Yeah, from an outside source, because I think he was already just very untrusting, which
he proved when he didn't want to talk to.
Oh shit, what was her name?
Fabiana.
That that is a good point.
Yeah.
So he was he was distrusting of humans.
He was only trusting of puppets.
So I think I think it made sense for what they did.
So where are you at with the story?
So I mean, I think both of us are just kind of comparing this to the original.
I'm going I'm trying really hard to try and disassociate myself from the original with
this one.
See, I feel that it's very hard to do that.
And I feel like a lot of people don't because you are saying that it is a live action remake.
It's still associated with the original.
So they're trying to just retell what you got in the original, but update it for, you
know, like a newer, newer audience.
So I feel you, you honestly can't help but compare it to the original.
I feel that's what it meant to be.
Right.
But I mean, if you're if you're I think it's tough, it's tough to do to do that as well,
at least in like a review like this, because it's like, hey, something that worked in the
original that wouldn't have worked out in this one.
Like the whole drinking beer and like the cigars, like obviously for a modern age where
that's like where kids smoking and drinking beer is frowned upon.
I think they had to do some changes and stuff.
And I think it'd be unfair to come to make that comparison.
Fair enough.
So I mean, my like if you like you rate the story how you're wanting to.
I'm I'm sitting at like an eighty six.
Oh, damn.
Like is that a like a high or no, that the other that's a lot higher than me.
Yeah.
So I'm going I'm going in eighty six because I feel like they were able to remove all of
the issues that I personally had with the original story.
Like they were able to clean it up.
They were able to make it.
Kid friend or relatively kid friendly for the modern age while keeping those those intense
moments intense.
Like yes, I feel like the the change that they made to Monstro is a little bit odd, but I
feel like I'll I'll.
I'll dock later for that one.
And then the same thing with Pleasure Island and everything.
I think they were able to keep the horror horror like elements of that fairly well,
too.
Like when Lampwick was changing into a donkey like that was like I think they still managed
to keep like that that fear that I had as a as a kid.
Like that.
So it was that scene and then the Monstro scene that I felt like I had to like cover
Iris's eyes because I'm just like, no, this is a little much.
Fair enough.
So yeah, I think I think they kept a really solid flow.
There is obviously some negligence in this on like Geppetto's part, which will be addressed
when we get into like the writing.
But I think overall, like the story was it did pretty well.
It wasn't anything like extraordinary, but it was above average.
So that's why I'm sitting at an eighty six.
So where are you at?
Yeah, honestly, just because I didn't love every single change that they made and the
stuff that they took out, I was not a fan of.
So I'm sorry to say I'm in the 70s.
So I'll go with 73.
Damn, dude, sorry, man.
All right.
That's a lot lower than I thought you were going to go.
I thought you were going to be in like the set, like the high 70s.
No.
All right.
Moving on over to writing, I felt the dialogue was pretty, pretty like quick witted for a
movie like this.
And like I said, with the with the original, I think they just cut out a lot of fluff.
Like the whole like the Honest John thing.
I feel like scenes like that, like from what I remember, those scenes seem to like just
drag on and on and on and just like, OK, just get to the next thing.
And with this, I think they maybe took it a little too far the other direction and maybe
went a little too quick.
But I still like really enjoyed the dialogue.
And I think they were able to throw in some extra jokes that were pretty funny.
Like I liked how Honest John was like talking to Pinocchio about how to spell his like his
name up in like the bright lights and then like realizing like his name is really hard
to spell and then being like, like maybe we just change your name altogether.
And then like one of the jokes that they made was Chris Pine.
And I love that joke.
Yeah, I'll admit that one did make me chuckle.
Yeah, so I mean, they had some pretty decent.
Additional dialogue and.
Honestly, I really liked the.
The conversation with the blue fairy.
I like that so much more than the original.
I feel I like them both for different reasons.
Both are great.
Speaking of that scene, though, I have a very big problem with this version compared to
the original because in the original, when the blue fairy first brings an Okio to life,
literally he you know, like, you know, the strings go away.
It's very simplistic and he's just like, oh my God, I can walk.
I can talk.
You know, it's great.
Whereas in this one, literally.
First of all, he still has the strings when he first comes to life, which that makes no
damn sense if you're bringing him the life.
Why would the strings still be there?
But whatever.
Why would they disappear if he's becoming a real boy?
Shouldn't they just disappear automatically?
Well, she made them disappear later on.
I don't know.
OK, explain to me why fairy magic would have made the strings disappear.
Because and why they would magic, dude, that's bullshit.
You know it.
Anywho, I'm just kidding.
No, so so the bit my biggest problem is that when Pinocchio first comes to life in this
new one, he he is literally repeating everything that Jiminy or no, it's not only no, it's
the blue fairy that he's literally repeating everything that she says.
Like, you know, like, oh, he he she has to first put in like, oh, you know, actually,
he doesn't know how to fully speak.
And so she actually has to put actually make that like official.
Whereas in the original, it automatically just happens.
And I don't know, I don't like in this one that she literally be like, oh, shit, I forgot
something.
I forgot to actually make you be able to understand yourself and talk.
Whereas in the original, it's just like, oh, yeah, I know what I'm frickin doing.
Bam.
I know how to, you know, you know, make full sentences.
You see, that's exactly why I liked that stuff.
Where it's just the way that I viewed it was he wasn't wishing like Geppetto wasn't wishing
on or wasn't wishing to a blue fairy.
He was wishing upon a star and the star granted him the wish and the fairy just came down
and like tidied up the magic.
Like that's how I viewed it.
Like, unlike the like the original life where it just kind of like everything seemed to
work out just fine.
Like the strings go away and suddenly he knows how to talk and all this other bullshit.
Like I know I expect that shit from a fairy.
That's the thing I know.
And she gave him all of that.
It's just the frickin star magic is this the shady stuff.
You see, in the original, I feel it's like very much showed that the blue fairy is the
star he wishes upon.
Dude, I love when we get into discussions like this.
I do too.
Yeah, that's how like that's my whole justification because I didn't like how it's like the fairy
was just like, oh, I can only make you so real.
And with her, it was just like, well, he was very specific on his wording.
So we kind of have to work around that.
I love that.
Like how I don't like people that like do something perfect.
And so the fact that the blue fairy came down and was like correcting mistakes, like I really
love that.
I said I did not.
That's really funny.
Dude, that is super funny.
I was kind of like how I think I can't get over is how you thought the strings would
just disappear to.
Yeah, that's how I see it.
The only reason that the string I feel the strings would have or should have disappeared
is if he actually turned into a real boy.
If he became 100 percent real, yes, the strings need to go away.
But he was just becoming an alive puppet.
Why would the strings go away?
Because Disney's got a Disney bitch.
Because Disney's got a Disney.
I'm going to see if I can find like the quote of Geppetto, like what his wish was.
Oh, God.
Just to see if.
All right, let's see.
Damn it.
They don't have that line like how he wore it is.
That's bullshit.
I know they have like the starlight star bright thing, but that's straight up bullshit.
Yeah, they don't have like the wish.
For some reason, I'm not remembering the line well in this one.
Does the blue fairy tell Pinocchio that, oh, this is all the help that I can give you.
It is up to you to become a real boy.
Does she say that?
Something like that.
Yes.
Like she said, OK, the star did some magic.
I did like some like I did some magic.
Like your father has this wish upon you, but it is up to you to like to do your part.
Because I mean, I know she says like I'm pretty sure she says like the same thing in the original.
But just I mean, how did you feel about the change in this one when Pinocchio is locked
up and in that bird cage and they use his nose to get the key to the lock in this one,
whereas in the original, literally and just this is why I like the original so much more
because there is the that scene because they're not able to get the lock undone.
It leads to a really good bonding scene between Pinocchio and Jiminy before the blue fairy
shows up and of course, like saves them and says and then she says, oh, this is, you know,
the last time that I can help you after this.
You're on your own.
It is up to you if you become a real boy.
Were you OK that she did not show up in this new one in that scene and let them go?
I actually appreciated that she didn't because did she like fix his nose?
In the original?
Yes.
She fixed.
OK.
So I actually preferred that he was able to tell the truth and his nose was able to go
back to normal.
I think it may because it just shows like.
Like a.
Forgiveness aspect.
For me, like I always just viewed like, hey, like with the original Pinocchio, it's like,
hey, someone needs to come down and like basically forgive you for yourself to make you like
to fix all the mistakes you've made with Pinocchio and his nose.
And I think with this, it's just him like coming out and being honest was able to help
him fix his own problem.
So it's just like, I'm not like too upset about it.
Like I think I could have been a little bit more just like buttered about it.
Like me.
Yeah.
The.
I liked how his nose stayed the same while it grew and didn't suddenly grow like.
A frickin tree branch on it.
What?
And like, you know, the net.
Dude, that's bullshit and you know it.
Yeah, it's bullshit, but I frickin love it.
Yeah, it's cool for cartoons and shit, but doesn't make sense in like real life.
And if you even try to argue like, oh, fairy magic created the birds, frickin screw you.
I can't argue that.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, that's that if they would have done that, that would have been horse shit.
And you know, everyone would have been like, hey, where the birds come from.
You know, was bullshit is frickin.
Oh, my strong bully literally leaving the key in the exact same room.
Now I'm sure that he thought, oh, yeah, there's no way that anyone could get get to that.
But I'm sorry.
Like I liked that in the original.
No, he takes the frickin key with me.
He doesn't just hang it up on a hook in the exact same frickin room.
I feel like that's a power move.
Well, think about it.
You got someone locked up in a cage and you are under the impression that there is no
way for them to escape.
Like fair.
It's just kind of like a slap in the face being like, check this out.
Like I'm going to put the key right here because there's nothing you can do about it, bitch.
Like that's that's kind of how I felt about that.
OK, fair enough.
Like it just it wasn't like because he's I don't I didn't view it like strong bully being
like stupid.
I felt like he was doing or he did that more as like mocking.
OK, fair enough.
But yeah, I I dug it.
I think I dug it enough.
Like is that the is that the only time that Pinocchio lies in the movie, like even in
the original?
Or is that like the only time that his nose grows?
Yes.
Yeah, that's the only time.
OK.
Yeah.
So I mean, those little problems, I mean, they didn't affect anything like too bad.
At least writing wise.
But I mean, I'm I'm kind of on the average side with with writing.
I don't think that there was anything like too deep.
Or anything.
I think I'm more like a seventy nine ish.
I think I'm like a strong seventy nine, maybe like a super soft 80.
So I'll do like.
I'll go 80 just because I want to be nice.
And I know you're going to be harsh.
So we're going to go a little blow story.
We're going to go a seventy one.
Shit, dude.
Sorry, man.
Dude, I forget when you when you texted me when this first dropped, like, oh, I think
you're going to be you're going to be happy with Pinocchio literally after the credits
roll.
And I remember what you said.
I want I want to text you like right out of you like you fucking lied.
Dude, you were that displeased with it.
I honestly really was.
After watching the original again.
Yeah.
Shit, dude.
Maybe I need to watch the original and not just like a cinema.
All right.
So getting into our acting, we got Joseph Gordon Levitt, who voiced Jiminy Cricket.
We got Tom Hanks, who played Geppetto.
We got Benjamin Evan Ainsworth, who voiced Pinocchio.
And that's kind of it for main cast.
Is there anyone else that you would include?
Did you say Keegan-Michael Keel at all?
No.
So OK, some main cast is those three for extras or like the significant extras.
I'll say Cynthia Erivo, who played the Blue Fairy.
Keegan-Michael Key, who voiced Honest John.
Giuseppe Battinson, who played Stromboli.
Kian LaMaya, who played Fabiana.
Jakita Talley, who voiced Sabina.
Lewin Lloyd, who played Lampwick.
And then Luke Evans, who played the Coachman.
OK.
So like I said, those are the significant extras.
So you want to let's do top three.
OK.
Number OK, I actually want to give an honorable mention because he would actually be my number
four is the kid that played Lampwick.
I thought he did a really great job.
Dude, he did an amazing job.
I'm curious what else he's been in because he seems familiar, right?
Yeah, he really did.
Yeah, I have no idea what the hell he's been.
Like he's been in nothing that I've seen or nothing else that I've seen.
Oh, shit, really?
Yeah.
He only has nine acting credits.
Really?
Yeah, and all of them are for like super small shit.
Or at least three or four.
Yeah, there's like a few shows.
Or did you ever watch his Dark Materials?
No, did not.
OK, I didn't either.
He was in Judy and the Aeronauts.
Never heard of it.
Yeah, he hasn't been in anything else, though.
So.
Anyway, he would be my number four.
Fair.
Number three, I would actually give to Kika Michael Key as Honest John.
I freaking loved his performance.
I wanted more of him as Honest John.
He was fantastic.
Dude, I'm the same way.
I freaking loved Kika Michael Key as Honest John.
Someone pointed out, too bad Gideon doesn't speak because that would have been really
cool if they could have gotten Jordan Peele to voice him.
I would have just like credited him just for fun.
Oh, you know, all the facial expressions we got for Gideon, Jordan Peele acted all those
out.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, shit.
So yeah, that's assessment number three.
Shit, who was the kid that played the voice of Pinocchio?
Benjamin Evan Ainsworth.
OK, yeah.
Number two, I feel he is pretty like as damn close as you can get to how the original voice
actor sounded in the original.
Like I was amazed.
Dude, for real, like usually with remakes like this, it kind of takes me a second to get
used to like the new voice.
Like this was not a problem.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
Yeah, no.
But from the moment he spoke, he sounded just like the original Pinocchio and I loved it.
And then number one, I would give to Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Jiminy Cricket.
Even though he's not as prominent as he is in this one.
I'm sorry, no, he's not as prominent in this one as he is in the original because I feel
that they have a lot more, him and Pinocchio have a lot more bonding in the original.
And I freaking hate that.
I mean, I'll point this out in music, but I hate that they took out the song, Give a
Little Whistle.
Oh my gosh, dude, I miss that song so much.
Right.
It's so good.
I don't understand why they took it out.
But anyway, he I couldn't even tell it was Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
I didn't recognize his voice at all.
Same here.
That's how good he was.
But yeah, I love to miss Jiminy Cricket.
He was my favorite performance in the whole movie.
So yeah, that's my top three.
Completely fair.
If I'm giving an honorable mention, I'm going to I'm going to give it to Luke Evans.
Because he he played like a dude that was like creepy.
And I felt like it was it was something that he he he was supposed to pull off in Beauty
and the Beast when he played Gaston.
And but like I said in our breakdown of that.
Or did we break down Beauty and the Beast?
I don't think we did, actually.
No we did not.
What?
I feel like I've brought it up on the show before.
I feel like he was too likable in that movie.
Yeah, he really was.
And in this completely opposite, he was ridiculously creepy and just filled that role to perfection.
So major shout out to Luke Evans.
My number three might be surprising to you.
I'm actually going to give it to Cynthia Erivo, who played the Blue Fairy.
Hell yeah, dude.
She was so good.
That's a dude.
Oh, I like even though she wasn't in it too much, I felt she gave such like a good personality
to the Blue Fairy.
Like with with the original fairy, she just felt like so bland and just like super like
prissy and uptight.
Like not uptight.
She's just like like perfect all the time.
Like just like that perfect little angel.
Like why are fairies are supposed to be?
I know, but it just comes off as like fricking bitchy.
Damn.
OK.
I don't I don't like it.
Like I loved the personality that she gave the Blue Fairy.
Just like a little on the clumsy side, but just like still super elegant in the way that
she talked and presented herself and.
Almost like a sense of humor, like it felt like there could like she didn't give any
jokes, I don't think.
I'm not like remembering any jokes, but it felt like she had like a sense of humor behind
her or like she had the potential for one.
And I love that about her.
Like she made the Blue Fairy like so much more interesting than I feel like she's ever
been.
And then like I'm pretty sure she's the one that's saying the.
The when you wish upon a star.
Yeah.
And like fricking amazing.
Like I honestly and I wish that she would have done this in the original.
I love that she's seeing that as she's drifting away.
Yeah.
I wish that they did that in the original.
So good.
Yeah, so I freaking loved her, even though like her role was so small.
Yeah.
Hey camera.
Yeah, honestly, yeah, she was smaller role in here than she was in the original.
Yeah.
And it's mainly because she didn't show up in the Stromboli cart.
Yep, exactly.
Yeah, if they if if that would have happened, it would have been the exact same screen time.
But because of that, she does have shorter screen time here.
Yeah.
My number two, I'm going to agree with you on it being Benjamin Evan Ainsworth, who voiced
Pinocchio.
Yes, I think he did a really good job with it.
I kind of got the feeling from the trailers that he was going to be a little bit more
annoying.
But it did feel that way.
Yeah, but he he ended up pulling off the Pinocchio vibe super well.
So major props to him for that.
Like, I think he did an excellent job.
And then my number one I'm given to Joseph Gordon Levitt as well.
Yes.
His voice says Jiminy Cricket was damn near unrecognizable.
Like I had a hard time like like placing the voice until the very end.
I was just like, gosh, I know that voice from somewhere.
I can't figure out where, though.
But he matched the tone and cadence of the original Jiminy like did really frickin well.
Yeah, he really did.
Like, I think he went a little like higher pitched than the original.
But I mean, no complaints.
I don't know.
The original is pretty high pitched sometimes.
Was he?
Well, I mean, I felt like his normal speaking tone was very, very like on the lower pitched
side, not like super deep.
But I don't know about that.
It's kind of pretty high.
OK.
I'll have to go back and listen and like do a side by side comparison.
You really should watch.
I know you watched the Sinimasons video, but you really should watch the original Pinocchio
again.
Yeah, I might.
I might give it another viewing tomorrow.
Hell yeah.
Anyway, so where are you sitting at with with acting?
You know, honestly, for how good they actually did it like casting this one.
I'm going to actually go an eighty five.
I actually was not too far away from you on that one.
I'm just a little higher at an eighty six.
OK, hell yeah.
All right, moving on over to character development, which I assume we're doing Pinocchio.
Yeah, this is where the movie's suffering.
For me at least.
Yeah.
Is it kind of like so with that, is it because of how you feel with the original of his character
development?
It's the.
I don't know.
It's just the like this the whole reasoning behind him being or becoming a real boy, like
the things that he needed to accomplish.
It felt like he was always that.
It didn't feel like he was like.
It's an issue that I've always had with Pinocchio in general.
I don't feel like his growth was to.
One way or the other, like it didn't feel like he was heading down like a super dark
path, even when he was on Pleasure Island in either versions.
It just felt like he was very innocent and like taking in this like this knowledge and
realizing that just didn't sit well with him.
And then taking that and just like it just didn't feel like he went anywhere.
Like growth wise, it just feels like a very naive child learning these things and being
told, hey, this is right, this is wrong.
And then him being, oh, OK, and then just kind of going off of that.
The only like real thing that he did, I felt.
Like learning the difference between right and wrong.
I don't think he really did that super well, but it's just the bravery thing.
Like showing that you need to be a brave boy.
And so he like saved his father or his family from Monstro.
And it's like the only brave thing that he did.
So it's just fair enough.
And it just it just didn't feel like it was like super like quite earned because it wasn't
a hit.
He wasn't the one like choosing to run away and like go do all this stuff.
He was pulled into it from outside sources and like people taking advantage of his naive
nature.
Yeah, it didn't feel like there was super good growth on his part.
And like I said, it's just an issue that I've had with Pinocchio or Disney's Pinocchio
as a whole.
Like it wasn't Pinocchio choosing to be bad.
It was just him getting drug into bad situations.
Fair enough.
Okay.
Yeah, I can see where you're coming from with that.
So this one's like the easiest one for me.
I'm at like a 72.
Okay.
Where are you at?
Honestly, I can agree with you for mostly.
I mean, I've always kind of liked the simplicity of the storyline of or not the storyline of
his character development of like, you know, like what he learns with right and wrong.
And I absolutely agree with where you're coming from with how like what really feels like
he even like gets to show at the end is just bravery.
You don't really feel like he gets to show a lot more of what a real boy is throughout
the rest of it.
So I can absolutely agree with you there.
You know, honestly, dude, I'm gonna match you.
Hell yeah.
All right.
Next up we got effects, which I think the big things were where the CGI characters and
Pinocchio, Honest John, Gideon and Monstro.
Yes.
And then some of the other like the marionettes.
And I'm sure a lot of people would think that, oh, this is such like a little thing that
bugs you.
I would think that by 2022 I would be able to tell that Geppetto is fully clearly holding
Pinocchio when he picks him up.
But there are some shots that I can totally tell that Tom Hanks his hands aren't fully
attached to Pinocchio.
And that bugged the shit out of me.
Dude, unfortunately, I feel like this is where we fall short to.
Yeah.
Okay.
There were some things that looked really good.
And I think the entire budget was on Monstro eating Geppetto and Pinocchio.
And straight up, because even I don't know how you feel about this, but Honest John and
Gideon, I know that they're CGI animals, but they for some scenes didn't really fit that
well into it.
Yep.
I feel the CGI could have been a lot better on them.
Yeah.
This is I think this is the same issue that we had with Lady and the Tramp.
Yeah.
Like, I'm sorry to say there's a especially for the effects.
There's a reason why this just went straight to Disney Plus.
It was on a theatrical release.
Yeah.
And I think my biggest issue was with Pinocchio.
Oh, yeah, dude.
His eyes.
I think his eyes looked so bad.
All they had to do was throw in like a three dimensional effect with that.
Such a simple thing.
But no, his eyes were moving and they were paint.
Yeah, like even in the original, you could it clearly it looks as if his eyes are actually
alive.
Like they're real.
Well, that's not fair.
OK, fair.
That's not even close to a fair comparison because it's animated.
It's super easy to match the animation.
Like with this, they just had to add like a three dimensional effect.
So it seemed like Geppetto carved out the eyes.
Like that's all they had to freaking do.
Yeah.
Or maybe even like I wonder how it would have looked if they would have thrown an outline
on his eyes.
I mean, it probably would have helped at least a little bit.
I think it would have.
I think it was just the the white of his eyes right next to the really light.
Color of the the pine.
Yeah, like that's one thing that even when I'm doing projects, I do not put like just
a straight white line on pine.
Like I always got to give it an outline with something like it needs an outline of some
sort.
Like I never just put like a flat, like a hard or not hard, a soft break between colors
like that.
I would have done an outline.
Makes sense.
I mean, even with that, like those complaints that we've had, Pinocchio didn't look great.
I'm wondering, do you feel it's like because they stuck so close to how he looks in the
original, like they freaking killed it for like how cool he literally looks like he just
stepped right out of the animated movie.
That one's tough because it's like I don't have any issues with his design.
It's just his movement.
Yeah, I will say one thing that like, I don't know if I like hate that he doesn't have it
in this one or if I don't like that he has it in the original, but in the original, he
actually does have like actual like hair like that moves.
It's not wooden hair like it is in this one.
I don't like that in the original.
Oh, you don't you like that it's just wooden hair?
Yeah, I think it made more sense.
Fair enough.
I think I can agree with you on that one.
Yeah, but movement wise, like Pinocchio looked like shit.
Yeah.
Like, that's what took me the longest to get used to was how Pinocchio moved.
Yeah, once I got used to that, I was just like, yeah, whatever.
Even the freaking, the I got no strings to hold me down scene.
Yeah, that was that was kind of hard to watch.
Like I get that that's what it's kind of supposed to be, you know, like him dancing around as
a puppet, but just, yeah, I don't know even how he moved in that it was kind of hard to
watch.
He definitely moves a lot more fluid in the original.
Yeah, absolutely.
I will say though, what I appreciate is a lot of the puppets that they showcase in that
scene in this remake, they straight up took from the original.
And I absolutely loved that.
I was actually smiling.
Like, that's so cool.
They actually like freaking took the they just literally transferred it from animation
to live action.
And I'm freaking here for this.
I love this.
Yeah, it was super impressive.
I don't know other than I mean, with what we brought up, I'm not super high on the effects
either.
Yeah, I'm probably lower than character development.
Honestly, I'm at like a 70.
Hell, that's where I'm at too.
I was I was leaning more towards like a 71.
But I just can't quite put it at 71.
Yeah, no, dude, I feel you there.
I feel you there, man.
It was borderline distracting.
And that's not good.
Absolutely.
No, but it was consistent.
And that's yeah, that's kind of what what's keeping it up in the 70s.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can definitely agree with you.
Like there weren't any moments where it felt like, oh, this looks really good.
And this looks really bad.
And it was all like, hey, this is pretty average.
Yeah.
All right.
Next up, we got music, which I'm fairly high with this one.
I am too.
I feel they honestly did do a good job of transitioning like the songs from the original
into this one.
And even like the the new song that Sabina sings, that was actually Sabina and shit,
what's her her?
I'm not sure.
Fabiana.
I actually thought that was a good addition to the soundtrack was a very good song.
The biggest problem I have, we already brought it up.
Why didn't they put give a little whistle in this movie?
I hate that so much.
That song is iconic.
Why do you not put that in Pinocchio?
I Got No Strings is more iconic, I'm sure.
But Give a Little Whistle is also very iconic.
Yeah, dude, like.
Yeah, I mean, it's it.
I can't I don't feel good talking about what it didn't have in this.
So that's that's kind of why I'm still super high.
I think personally, just because that they they missed that I'd be at like a seven.
But with the songs that they did have.
I think I'm at a nine just because of how well the.
They were able to execute them.
I'm not that high.
I'm at an eight.
That's fair.
You can make the argument either way.
It's just I've had I have no strings stuck in my head like all week.
So I mean, I completely get that.
Yeah.
And since we round down, that'll be at an eight.
I'm sorry, man.
No, you're you're you're fine.
All right.
Next up, we got costumes.
So with this one, it's kind of going to be a mix of costumes and character design.
Since Pinocchio is.
CGI character.
Yeah, I feel this is a huge part where the movie shined.
Because a lot like honestly, I mean, shocker, Tom Hanks is Geppetto's get up.
Looked just like he had walked off, walked out of the animated film, but I feel that's
not that hard to get.
Get right.
Stromboli.
Holy shit.
That looks fantastic.
Dude, that looked great.
So fucking good.
And I really don't.
Honest John's look.
Dude, yeah, same here.
Literally, I think they definitely darkened his colors in this one.
In the original, they're definitely a lot more brighter, but I feel it makes a lot more
sense to have them the colors dimmed down a little bit in this one.
And same thing with Gideon.
His colors were definitely a lot more vibrant in the original, but it made sense why they
downgraded the color in this one.
Yeah.
I mean, overall, just they just killed it.
Yeah, like even the coachman, even though like honestly, honestly, I'm sorry, he looks
like a frickin like three musketeer.
I don't know why.
That's what Luke Evans looks like to me.
But he looked good still.
He did.
Like honestly, what he wore is what the coachman wore in the original.
Yes, his red, his red, his red coat was more vibrant, but it makes sense why it wasn't
exactly super vibrant in this one because, you know, for what Roberts and Mechis was
going for.
Dude, total side note, the song that they that the coachman did was awesome.
Yeah, that that was that was also a good new song as well.
Yeah.
But anyway, getting back into costumes.
Yeah, everyone looked really frickin good.
So it's hard for me to give too low of a score just because of how well everyone looked,
like especially Pinocchio.
I mean, you can't get much more accurate than that.
Dude, straight up.
I'm at a nine, honestly.
Honestly I was at a ten.
I'm no, I'm telling you over.
No, you're fine.
That's how we do this.
Like if if we have it, it's just we round down.
So I totally get where you're coming from with with that score.
It's still high.
It's like it's not like it's a six or anything.
It's still not enough.
Yeah, fair enough.
Yeah.
All right.
So next up, we got our own personal scores.
So I want to hear your thoughts last.
So I'll start off.
OK.
I really liked this interpretation of Pinocchio.
Pinocchio has never been my favorite Disney movie.
And like I said, it's just mainly because of his character development or lack thereof.
But I liked what they were able to do with with this new version and all of like the
the fun additions that they were able to make.
One thing that I really appreciated and we didn't really bring up and it's mainly because
I didn't feel like there was a place to bring it up.
I really liked the clock cameos that we got or the Easter eggs.
Dude, that was so freaking cool.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Thank you for bringing that shit up.
Yeah.
For I mean, for those of you that haven't seen Pinocchio or this or this movie, when
the clock start to go off on Geppetto's wall, it's just a bunch of different Disney movies
like the first one that you see is Woody and Bullseye coming out of a cuckoo clock.
And I'm like, dude, this is this is perfect.
I did love that they they did do like subtle nods to the original, though, with still having
the mom spanking the kid over her lap.
That was still a clock in this one.
Yeah, that was that was good.
And then the one where they're like drinking.
Yeah, the guy coming out of the bar.
Yeah.
I mean, they have all like the good clocks.
It's just like instead of putting just a bunch of generic clocks, they put a bunch of Disney
themed clocks.
Yeah, I love that.
I did, too.
It was some awesome Easter eggs right there.
Yeah, so good.
So freaking good.
So it was able it was stuff like that that was able to keep me interested and the addition
of like of some good characters like Fabiana.
Like I didn't think I was going to like Fabiana as much as I ended up loving her.
Like near the end.
So it's a good time all around.
And like I said, I think if if you guys view like the original Pinocchio as like too long
or having just too much like too much stuff that you just don't want to see, I think this
movie does a pretty decent job at cutting it down to its essentials.
I don't know if you could say if it's too long, because this one is longer than that
one.
Is it really?
Yeah, this one's an hour and 50 minutes.
The original is an hour and 30.
Huh.
Sorry.
I don't mean to chime in with no, that's that's interesting as hell because it.
Gosh, I need to read what this one's almost.
I'm rewatching this movie tomorrow and I will report back next week.
You need to rewatch this and then you also need to watch the original and compare them.
Yeah.
So I'll be doing that.
But my so get into my personal score, I think I'm sitting.
I think I'm sitting there like a 78.
Like I had a good time.
It's just I had the issues that I have with the original Pinocchio.
And like still like the issues are the same.
Everything's the same, but this was a lot more fun.
Like personally, I put the original Pinocchio at least right now.
I put it lower.
Oh, you.
Okay.
Well, next week it just might be the all bro podcast.
I'm just going to warn you guys right now because Rose is going to murder me.
Oh, shit.
So yeah, I was I did not love this remake.
There were just changes that I just did not disagree.
I did not agree with.
I will admit a lot of the stuff that Roberts of Micas did decide to add, I did like like
Fabiana and Sabina.
That was actually a really good addition.
I really liked those characters.
But just the whole like changing the ending.
I mean, I know we talked about this, but I still like I don't like that he straight up
did a 360 on the ending, considering that in this one, it's a fake out that Geppetto
dies, whereas in the original, it's a fake out that Pinocchio dies.
I think it's a lot more heroic of the way that they pull it off in the original that
Pinocchio sacrifices himself to save his father.
I just like that a lot better.
And even though Caleb said like he doesn't love the original Pinocchio, it's not his
favorite.
Like I said before, Pinocchio is it's it's my favorite classic Disney film.
I freaking love Pinocchio.
I literally had that movie on repeat as a kid on VHS.
I'm sure I pissed my grandmother off with that.
But so as Disney remakes go, it's not awful.
It's probably one of I mean, I know a lot of people have said it's the worst, but honestly,
it might actually be one of the better ones for actually changing stuff compared to like
others like The Lion King, where it literally changes nothing.
It's beat by beat.
But I think because this is my favorite classic Disney film, I wanted it beat by beat.
I'm sorry to say.
And so I was disappointed.
I was a little disappointed.
So I'm going to go a 72.
Fair.
You thought I was going to be in the 60s, didn't you?
I'll be 100% real.
Yeah.
I didn't hate it that much because it's still Pinocchio.
It still gets the message across that the original does.
I did not love all of the changes that Robert Zemeckis decided to make.
I feel it takes away what makes the original so special, at least to me.
Right.
No, I definitely get you there.
All right.
Well, that wraps up this breakdown.
So going through these categories, story leading off at a 79.5, writing coming in a little
bit lower, sitting at a 75.5, acting, bringing this movie up to an 85.5, character development
sitting at a solid 72, effects sitting at a solid 70, music sitting at an 8, costumes
sitting at a 9, and then our personal score came to a 75.
So with all of those numbers, the final Albrows letter grade for Pinocchio 2022 has come to
a C+.
Okay.
You know what?
I'll take that.
Yeah.
It's a pretty solid C+.
Activity sitting at a 79.06%.
Okay.
Yeah.
So comparing this to other C++ movies, that puts it above Jexy, which was at a 79.
That puts it above Army of the Dead, which was at a 78.87.
It is above The New Mutants, which is at a 78.77.
It is also above Godzilla versus Kong, which is at a 78.56.
And then finally it is above Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny, which is at a 78.28.
Let's hope Vic doesn't find that out.
Going the opposite direction, Pinocchio ended up beneath Uncharted, which is at a 79.12.
It is also below I Want You Back, which is at a 79.25.
It is below the 2021 Mortal Kombat, which is at a 79.49.
It is below Scott Pilgrim versus the World, which is at a 79.58, unfortunately.
Thanks, Brooker.
Every single time.
That's just our new thing.
Anytime someone brings up Scott Pilgrim and how low it is, we're just, thanks, Brooker.
And then, funny enough, it is below the Aladdin remake, which is at a 79.62%.
You know, I can absolutely agree with that because I liked Aladdin more than this.
Yeah, same here.
And that's not saying a lot.
I don't know, to me, Aladdin is one of the better Disney live action remakes.
I had a really good time with Aladdin.
Yeah.
And you guys can listen to that episode if you want to go back and listen.
I was like, for Chibi and the roster.
It was a long time ago.
God damn.
Pre-COVID era.
Yeah.
But yeah, so that is where this movie ranks.
So with that, if you liked this episode, want to hear more of our stuff, be sure to follow
and subscribe to us wherever you listen to podcasts.
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Be sure to follow us on social media as well.
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And you guys can hit us up if you have episode ideas or want to join us for an episode.
We would love to have anyone on.
Yeah.
Or you can check out our website, which is tinyurl.com forward slash the All Bros, where
you can find links to everything that we do.
And I feel like I'm missing something.
Oh, or you can email us at theallbroschannel.gmail.com.
So next week, you guys can look forward to us breaking down The Woman King.
This movie looks incredible.
If you have not seen it, definitely go check it out.
So yeah, we'll be talking about that next week.
And until then, this has been the All Bros Podcast.
I'm Caleb.
And I'm Jonathan.
And we'll catch you guys next week.
Deuces.
Ha ha.
See you all real soon.
That's so much better than Herbert.
Yes.