What is up bros?
I'm Caleb.
And I'm Jonathan.
And we are a couple of bros on a mission to give you guys the most detailed movie reviews
out there with as little bias as possible.
Welcome to the All Bros.
This week on the podcast we have nothing in 4k spotlight to discuss.
And through the wall we did have the Super Bowl come out so there were a few trailers
that got released there.
We're only going to talk about one.
And that's going to be the Flash trailer.
We'll talk about why we're not discussing the other ones that got released.
So we'll be discussing that trailer and then we'll be getting into this week's headliner
where we will be breaking down Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio.
So with that let's say we get into it.
Let's do it.
Every day we're surrounded by media, books, movies, art, music, games, apps, podcasts,
etc. etc.
With this constant bombardment it's easy to miss great media gems in the chaos.
But fret not, you've come to the right place my friend.
I'm Jason and I love media.
I invite you to check out the Mixed Media Forest podcast.
The podcast where I trudge through the forests of media to find hidden gems for you, the
listener.
Every episode of Mixed Media Forest is chock full of fun, reviews, nostalgia, positivity,
news, rants, stories, and recommendations about all things media.
Again, that's the Mixed Media Forest podcast created on Anchor podcasting app and available
everywhere find podcasts can be found.
Give it a listen, it's what all the cool kids are doing.
Alrighty jumping straight into through the wall.
The Super Bowl came out this past week as of when we were recording.
But the real question is, Caleb, did you watch it?
Not a single second of it.
Did you?
No, I didn't watch any of it.
I will admit I was checking Google towards like the ending just to see if my boss's team
was going to win.
They did not.
It's like just to see what kind of mood he's going to be in the next day.
Exactly.
Oh man.
Yeah, I honestly didn't know that it was the Super Bowl until everyone was like talking
about the trailers and like getting super hyped and I was just like, oh yeah.
Oh dude, I can't even escape it in my work because yeah, everyone just said, oh, who
you rooting for?
Who you rooting for?
I'm just like, I could give two shits about sports.
So I don't care who wins.
I'm not watching it.
Yeah, we don't give a damn.
But the one thing that we do kind of give a damn about are some of the trailers that
got released.
There was a decent amount of trailers, nothing that gave us too much to go off of.
I mean, there were some that I was really excited for like the Indiana Jones one.
Still have not watched that one yet.
Really?
Not even the new one?
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know why I haven't yet.
I don't know what's holding me back.
Yeah, it didn't give too much story stuff.
Like it's just basically stuff we've already discussed before.
Dungeons and Dragons, kind of the same deal.
Dude, I swear when I go, because I think Christina wants to go see that movie.
I feel like I'm going to be the person like just leaning over to her like every couple
of minutes being like, what the hell does that mean?
What does that mean?
Who's that?
Because I have no idea what the hell Dungeons and Dragons is.
I have nothing against it.
I just don't know what I've never played the game, know nothing about it.
So I'm so freaking lost in that movie.
I don't know if you would be because I mean, they have to more or less they have to pander
to audience members that don't know anything about Dungeons and Dragons.
At least I feel like they would.
Touche.
I know a decent amount about Dungeons and Dragons.
That's just because I listened to a few D&D podcasts and I like what I do know is that
they do have like books like Dungeons and Dragons have books and it's like campaigns
that you can play through.
OK.
But I know a lot of Dungeon Masters create their own games.
So it's like not really something that's set in stone.
It's more just they create their own worlds and just use the D&D gameplay mechanics to
play through the story and the game.
OK.
Interesting.
So I mean, they'll use their monsters occasionally or just like if there's a shop, what kind
of items are in the shop.
They'll use like bits and pieces, but for the most part, Dungeons and Dragons is pretty
like open source.
So there's not like one set storyline or whatever.
And like at least from what I gather, like even if you play the same campaign a couple
or a few times in a row, each adventure will be different from the last.
So it's interesting.
Yeah.
Like it seems like a really cool game.
I'd love to get into it, but it's just a time suck.
And I that is one thing I'm lacking very heavily is time.
Yeah, that's fair.
I hope eventually I'll be able to make time for it.
But as of right now, not in the cards for me.
But anyway, so yeah, like that trailer got released.
It wasn't anything new, just kind of more of the same beats, just a couple extra scenes.
Same thing with Guardians of the Galaxy.
Super excited for that.
Just gave us maybe a couple more bonus stuff.
But the trailer that we're going to talk about today is for The Flash.
And this gave us a significant amount of new stuff.
And oh, my hell, dude.
Dude, right?
Dude, the DC fan base is really conflicted right now.
It's like they don't want to go and support Ezra Miller, but the movie looks freaking
dope.
It does.
I mean, yeah, I don't know what to say about Ezra Miller.
They're just something else.
Like seriously, I don't understand what goes through their head.
I don't understand one bit what's going through Ezra's head.
But for the time being, he is the Flash in this movie, and I guess we just have to get
that through our heads and just deal with it.
I'm hoping that they will be replaced.
I really hope so.
They're for sure getting replaced.
Like, no freaking doubt about that.
It sucks because I actually really liked their portrayal of the character.
I had very the only problem I had wrong with Ezra's portrayal was the running.
And it seems like they fixed that in this movie.
It doesn't look like he's sorry.
It doesn't look like they are running that way anymore, which I am grateful for because
it was such a stupid way to run.
But the fact still stands.
Ezra did some very sketchy, very shitty shit.
And he deserves to sorry, they deserve to they deserve to pay for that.
So but that should not destroy this movie because there's a lot to love in this movie
besides he who shall not be named.
Shit, dude, it's a tough it's tough.
But I mean, I'm still going to go see it regardless.
And it's mostly because of the rest of the cast.
I mean, we got frickin Ben Affleck in here for a little bit, at least frickin Michael
Keaton is making his return as Batman in the most.
I thought he was going to play old man Batman.
He's like still in his frickin prime Batman, dude, straight up.
I am so frickin pumped to see Michael Keaton back as as Batman, dude.
Like, holy shit.
Like I don't know about you, but I frickin squealed like a schoolgirl when he's just
like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm Batman.
I'm like, ah, he said the thing.
Oh, I did not expect him to actually say it.
Oh, my gosh, dude, that just got my nerd side just all types of hyped.
Oh, dude, I even got like super.
I nerded out when it was Barry and Ben Affleck's Bruce just chatting about the him using like
the were they chatting about the speed force?
I can't remember.
I think he would.
They were mostly discussing like talking about like changing time or messing with time.
Yeah, that's what it was.
Yeah.
Oh, dude, I geeked out over the fact that Ben Affleck is back as Batman.
That makes me so happy.
It's the last time he'll be back as Batman.
But you know what?
I'll take it.
Yeah, I will, too.
Dude, there was a lot in this movie that I was not expecting to see.
Dude, I straight up didn't know that Supergirl was going to be in this movie.
I knew Supergirl was going to be in it.
I didn't know Zod was coming back.
Do you know that?
No.
Oh, what the hell have you been?
Just kidding.
Okay.
If you're if you count the spoilers that I got from Funko.
Like I figured he was going to be like a cameo.
I didn't realize he was going to be like a big part of it.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
I take back my comment because yeah, I just thought he was going to be a cameo.
Yeah, but this seems like they're going through the situation of Man of Steel again.
Holy shit.
Yeah, dude.
Seriously.
This is going to this movie is going to be sick, dude.
Like there is nothing that they showed throughout this entire trailer that I was upset about
in the slightest.
Dude, straight up.
And even the V. I mean, I know it's still early, but even the VFX looks super good right
now.
Yeah, friggin ridiculous.
Dude, my favorite shot is whatever that scene was.
And this is seriously just spoilers due to Funko.
So if you don't want any of those skip past a little bit.
There's a dark speedster image that I'm assuming is the dark flash.
Or at least that's what it's referred to on the Funko boxes.
It's dark flash.
And they have this scene where they like back to back and they like slide and then they
push off of each other's foot.
Like that's that's looked friggin tight.
Favorite scene as well.
It was so badass.
Yeah, it's just I hope they do some really cool stuff with with flash and his his speed.
You know, this is going to be OK, really quickly.
What do you think of the new suit?
Oh, that's a tough sell.
My same here, because I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I actually loved the suit that
he had in Justice League and I actually wish that he still had that suit.
I think there's there's a certain charm to I think they just went a little too extravagant
with it.
And what I'm talking about is mostly due to like the boots, where it seems like instead
of it being solid boots, it's like little armored pieces of boot.
That's fair.
Which, I mean, it's OK.
I would have just preferred just a solid boot, though.
Yeah, I can I can definitely agree with you.
And then again, like it's just it's just a little rubbery.
I think the lines are a little too bright, or at least where it seems like it's like
a glowing aura or light kind of going through him.
The chest or his his emblem looks a little too bulky.
Yeah, I can definitely agree with you.
It's it's a tough sell.
It is a really tough sell because it looks like it's a glass bulb.
It does.
And it it looks cool.
Like don't get me wrong.
It looks fricking awesome.
It's I just don't know how well it works for a suit.
Yeah.
Like I almost would have preferred what they've done with like the Flash CW series, where
it's either just like a patch or like inlaid onto his suit.
I don't know.
I'll be interested to see what the some of the concept art for this movie, because I
feel like Flash is such a difficult character to get just spot on.
Yeah, I can definitely agree with that.
And I'm sure like working against the CW show isn't helping because he's changed his outfit
multiple times.
Like each season, it feels like.
So it's like they I don't feel like they have too many places they can go because it's just
like re-exploring old suits from CW.
Yeah.
So I think Warner Brothers kind of bit themselves in the ass with that one.
But I mean, overall, the movie looks fricking awesome.
So I'm it does.
I'm really hyped for this one.
What are you sitting out for?
Hi, boys.
Shit.
I'm at a nine, maybe nine and a half.
OK, damn.
Most of that's due to freaking Michael Keaton.
I am so excited to see Michael Keaton.
OK.
Fair.
Fair enough.
Yeah.
What about you?
I'm I'm actually a little lower.
I'm at an eight.
I'll probably need like a second trailer to get me to a nine or even maybe even a ten.
But no, I like what I've seen so far.
So definitely looking forward to this one.
Yeah.
I hope it's as good as they're.
Claiming it is.
Yeah.
Didn't James Gunn say is like one of the best superhero movies he's ever seen.
Yeah.
So I mean, if that's the case, it definitely feels like maybe that's why Warner Brothers
hasn't been on as harsh on Ezra as they could be.
Because they're just like, we still need you to do some press stuff.
Dude, I don't even know if they'll invite him on the press tour for this movie.
I would be shocked if they do.
Yeah.
But I mean, if that's like my my big thing, it's just I don't know if they're going to
if they need they just need him to stay out of the spotlight enough to like get this movie
out.
Yes.
And then just pray that everyone overlooks all the crazy shit that they've done.
Oh, so I'm very pumped.
And this was an excellent trailer.
Like, dude, this wasn't like in the Super Bowl, was it?
So it so they put it on YouTube, I think like an hour before the Super Bowl started, but
it was included in the Super Bowl as well.
Not the full two minutes, though, right?
Yeah.
Well, shit.
Okay.
Yeah, no, when they Yeah, when I feel like when it comes to like Super Bowl ads, it's
like a whole different playing field, because, yeah, they will they will put like full length
trailers and jeez, I thought they still had to pay for the time like like everyone else
does.
Because everyone else gets like 30 seconds or so.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I'm sure that, you know, DC and Marvel had to pay extra to show the full
trailers for Guardians 3 in the Flash.
But it's always really good advertising because unless you like, do not do sports at all like
us, even if it's just watching it for the food, everyone's watching the Super Bowl.
So everyone saw these trailers.
True.
But anyway, anything else you want to say about the flash?
No, I got nothing.
All right, neither.
So that will conclude this segment.
So I say let's move on to this week's headliner, where we will be breaking down Guillermo del
Toro's Pinocchio.
All right, like we said, we will be breaking down Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio, which
is currently available on Netflix to stream at your leisure.
If you are new to our breakdown system, we have split movies into eight different categories
that we individually score to come to a final Albreos letter grade.
The eight categories that we score are story, writing, acting, character development, effects,
music, costumes, and then we give it our own personal score at the very end.
With this being an animated movie, the effects are going to kind of tie into animation and
costumes are going to be more character design than anything.
But with that, if you have not seen Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio, Rose is about to spoil
the entire thing for you.
So if you listen past this point and anything is spoiled for you, it is your own damn fault.
Damn right.
So with that comes our favorite segment that we like to call Reading with Rose with two
E's.
In Italy during World War II, the carpenter Gepetto, 20 years after losing his son Carlo
to an aerial bombardment by Austro-Hungarian forces, cuts down a pine tree, which he uses
to create a wooden boy in a fit of drunken rage but passes out.
The wood sprite brings the puppet to life, christening him Pinocchio, and the wood sprite
sends him to a living Pinocchio, and assigns Sebastian J. Cricket to guide him as his conscience,
promising Sebastian a wish in exchange.
Gepetto wakes up to a living Pinocchio but becomes terrified and fed up with his antics,
resulting in the village Podesta ordering Gepetto to send Pinocchio to school.
On his way, Pinocchio is intercepted by showman Count Volpe and his monkey Spazator.
However, Gepetto arrives to take Pinocchio back and suing a confrontation between him
and Volpe that ends with Pinocchio being fatally hit by a truck.
In the afterlife, he meets the wood sprite's sister Death, who explains to Pinocchio he
is immortal and revives him when a Hau hourglass empties, cautioning him that the more he dies,
the more time he will spend in the afterlife.
After returning to the mortal realm and having a heated argument with Gepetto, Pinocchio
decides to earn money for Gepetto by performing in the circus as well as to avoid being conscripted
into the Royal Italian Army during World War II by the Podesta.
In an attempt to reinstate himself as the circus star, a jealous Spazator reveals to
Pinocchio that Volpe is conning him out of the money he falsely promised to send to his
father.
In the afterlife, Volpe viciously beats Spazatorra, upsetting Pinocchio, who tries to defend him.
In order to sabotage Volpe, Pinocchio ridicules Benito Mussolini with a song at a performance
who orders Pinocchio be executed and the circus burned.
Once revived, Pinocchio finds himself being taken by the Podesta to a boot camp where
other boys are trained to fight in the war.
Pinocchio befriends the Podesta's son Candlewick, who is scared of disappointing his father.
After a training game between the two teams led by Pinocchio and Candlewick ends in a
tie, the Podesta orders Candlewick to shoot Pinocchio.
Candlewick refuses and finally stands up to his father.
The training camp is then bombed by allied aircraft killing the Podesta while Candlewick
and the other boys flee.
Pinocchio is captured by the Volpe who tries to burn him to death as revenge for ruining
his career.
Spazatorra saves Pinocchio, resulting in Volpe falling off a seaside cliff to his death alongside
Pinocchio and Spazatorra during a struggle with the monkey.
Lost at sea, Pinocchio and Spazatorra are swallowed by a giant dogfish.
Inside the monster's belly, Pinocchio and Spazatorra find Geppetto and Sebastian who
were also swallowed during their search for Pinocchio.
Thanks to an idea by Sebastian, Pinocchio lies to make his nose grow into a large branch,
thus forming a bridge leading out of the monster's blowhole, making their escape as the monster
attempts to eat them again.
Making their escape as the monster attempts to eat them again, Pinocchio sacrifices himself
by detonating a naval mine inside the monster, killing them both.
Upon meeting death again, Pinocchio demands to be sent back early to save Geppetto from
drowning.
Death warns him that doing so will make him mortal, but Pinocchio breaks the hourglass
to return and ends up drowning while saving his father.
The wood sprite reappears to a mourning Geppetto and Sebastian uses his wish to make her revive
Pinocchio.
Pinocchio returns home with his father, Sebastian and Spazatorra to live together as a family.
Outliving all of his loved ones, Pinocchio decides to travel the world.
Dude, there's a lot more to this than I've ever seen of Pinocchio ever.
Dude, rightly.
I've never read the book, never read the actual story of Pinocchio.
The only Pinocchio that I know is the Disney Pinocchio.
That's all I know.
I mean, it's my favorite classic Disney film, but that's all I know.
So the fact that this starts off so much darker, the themes that they have in this are just...
This movie, I feel, is not for kids.
Or at least very young of age.
Yeah, this is definitely like... even preteen kind of feels like a stretch.
Dude, right?
Is this rated PG or is it rated PG-13?
That is an excellent question.
Let's find out.
Let's look this up.
Because, god damn.
It is PG.
My ass.
What's it rated PG for?
That's my question.
They better point out how freaking dark this shit is.
Oh man.
It is... not a lot.
Let's see.
Violence and gore, there's not a lot.
Profanity, none.
Other than some name calling.
Sex and nudity, none.
Alcohol, drugs, and smoking is mild.
And then frightening and intense scenes is moderate.
I would put that as the whole damn movie.
Yeah.
It's because they get away...
Oh, so here's what it's for.
It's rated PG for dark thematic material, violence, peril, and some rude humor and brief
smoking.
Okay, okay, that does sum everything up, but still.
This is a very dark...
It's CGI... not CGI.
Stop motion animated film.
And I thought freaking Laika got dark with like Coraline and shit.
No.
Dude, it was... this was rough.
I remember when we were watching it, it's just... it weights heavy on your soul.
Yeah, if you want a happy-go-lucky movie to watch, go watch the Disney one.
Don't watch this one.
Yeah, it was freaking rough.
The depth that they were able to... or the things that they dived into were really kind
of relevant in a way.
It's discussing with Geppetto dealing with the loss of his child in an extremely tragic
way.
I mean, luckily you don't see anything, but it's just heavily implied that it's just an
utter nightmare.
So what was happening, it was this... where does this take... is this Italy?
I believe so.
Okay, so Geppetto's building this statue of a crucified Christ for his church.
And Carlo has the perfect pine cone that he loses and runs inside the church right as
a bomb gets dropped on the church by Italian forces because they're just like, oh, we're
just dropping them to drop them at this point.
They weren't even a target.
That village wasn't even a target.
They were just trying to lighten their load and ended up bombing this village.
And I think it was British forces.
I don't know if it was Italian, but it was like, at least from what... not Jiminy, I
guess Cricket.
What was his full name?
Sebastian something.
Yeah, whatever.
So knockoff Jiminy was saying that the village wasn't even a target.
It was just trying to lighten their load so they could travel further to their destination.
And so that's... it was just unnecessary violence that killed Carlo and it just completely wrecks
Geppetto.
And he just builds this super crude replica of his child.
And so you're dealing with that, with those emotions from Geppetto.
You're dealing with the issues that Pinocchio comes across with constantly feeling compared
to Carlo because Carlo was just a really cooperative child and Pinocchio is not.
And so you're dealing with all these different aspects of life that are very pertinent in
reality where it's like, oh, someone's getting compared to their sibling or dealing with
the loss of a child.
Having to choose the easy way of making money versus knowledge and all these different aspects
of life that the Disney version just does not get into whatsoever.
No.
Wait, so really quickly, I gotta put this in.
So his name actually in the book is not even like Sebastian or Jiminy.
It's just Talking Cricket.
It was the Disney movie that finally actually like renames the character Jiminy Cricket
and then Guillermo decided to adapt the character as Sebastian J. Cricket.
So yeah, so it was just Talking Cricket.
Very original, whoever wrote Pinocchio.
Oh man.
But it's just the themes that they were able to attach themselves to, even like the whole
life and death situation is just wild.
Dude, I don't know if that was in the book, but the fact that they introduced that in
this, I kind of wish that that was in a Disney movie because that was such a cool idea.
It really was.
Anytime I feel cartoons or just animated movies are able to dive into the idea of life and
death and the yin and yang between the two of them, it enhances the movie like a ton.
And this was no exception.
It was good.
It was really freaking good.
The only thing, like honestly, that I would have cut out from this movie would have been
it being a musical.
I don't think it needed to be a musical.
Yeah, I can agree with that.
The only music, wait, did they even have this?
I don't think they had the song.
I Got No Strings to Hold Me Down.
They didn't have that in this, right?
No, they did not.
I was going to say, because I think Disney owns that song.
That's like the only song I would accept in a Pinocchio movie.
Yeah.
Shit.
It's just story wise, dude, I have very, very little complaint.
Dude, same here.
Other than it being a musical in an unnecessary fashion.
Yes.
So for that, I'm not docking it too much.
Honestly, I might be at like a 92.
I think I'm going to match you on that.
All right.
Moving on over to writing.
This is kind of where I had a bigger issue.
Okay.
And it was mainly due to some of the songs.
The songs just didn't, I felt they didn't have like a super solid flow to them.
They felt very jumpy.
Did you feel that like it was a whole like, oh, you're telling story, wait, we got to
halt it so they can perform the song.
Okay, we're done.
Let's carry on.
A little bit.
It's like they took a small portion of the story and then made a whole freaking song
about it.
And then it went on from there when it could have just been move the story along.
Yeah.
Like it felt like it was like the story was coming to a complete halt.
That's why I hate it when people think that musicals are so easy to write.
They're not.
You have to be able to work the song in to the story and not make it seem like it's halting
you from moving on to the next chapter.
It has to flow flawlessly into the next segment that you're trying to do.
Exactly.
So I think this is where the movie suffered a little bit.
And I would say that that's a story issue, but I do feel like that's more of a writing
because the story itself, like if you take out those pauses, like it was really good,
had a really good flow, had a really good everything.
It's just if you're getting into the nitty gritty of what they had to write in, that's
one of the issues.
It's not necessarily an issue with the story.
It's more issue with pacing or just like feeling like instead of like a good flow, it's just
boom, pause.
We got to do this song real quick and then move on.
I do have a question really quickly.
So in the both Disney versions, when Pinocchio first comes to life to Geppetto, he's shocked
by it, but he just accepts it.
He's just like, oh my gosh, you're living everything.
In this version, when Pinocchio first comes to life for Geppetto, he literally just doesn't
want anything to do with him.
He's just like, you're not my son.
What the hell is this?
How did you feel about that?
Like that is perfectly reasonable reaction to have about a piece of wood that you drunkenly
carved one night coming to life.
Yeah.
And that keeps saying that he's your son.
Yeah.
It's like, yeah, you're not completely in the wrong, Geppetto.
Are you out of your mind?
That was something that never sat right with me about the original Pinocchio.
I'm like, he just kind of accepted the fact that Pinocchio is a talking wooden boy really
freaking quick.
Yeah.
At least with this one.
Honestly, he's honestly working through accepting Pinocchio as his son throughout the whole
movie up until the end.
Yeah.
I think he takes...
Geppetto throughout doesn't really treat Pinocchio like a son until way later.
He kind of treats him as a burden.
He does.
And I actually really liked that approach.
Yeah.
It's just more a responsibility of his than his son or his child.
Because he's just like, okay, well, he had to have some officials come and talk to him
and be like, oh, well, your boy needs to do this or your boy needs to do this.
And he's like, it's not my boy.
It's like a freaking demon puppet.
Can we talk about though, why is it whenever Pinocchio...
I feel it's this way in the Disney version, maybe in a different way, but considering
that the townspeople don't come to Geppetto and tell him what to do with Pinocchio, this
is Geppetto's own decision.
Why is it that it's always, oh, to solve all Pinocchio's problems and make sure he's good
to go, he has to go to school?
If the first option...
Is that really the only option?
Yeah.
It's like, okay, well, he was literally alive yesterday.
So, you know, maybe let's treat the first couple days as...
Or maybe give me at least a year to actually teach him how to act before we put him into
learning.
Let's make this like it's actual human years.
Yeah, for real.
Shit.
They just covered...
At least with this, because it was seriously like with the live action one or the Disney
version too, it was seriously like next day.
With this, it did feel like there was a little bit more time.
Not a lot more, but just enough more for it to be like, okay, now the whole school thing
makes sense because it's like he has to learn this or he has to learn that or whatever.
But I think for a highly religious town like they set this up to be, I think they jumped
off of the demon puppet bandwagon a little too fast for me.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Especially considering when the priest gets mad at Geppetto being like, oh, so you can
make that wooden boy, but you can't finish our altar of Christ.
What the hell?
Dude, that is such a ridiculous argument.
Yeah.
I'd be like, dude, are you shitting me?
Look how crappy he's built.
You can clearly tell I was drunk during this.
Yeah, I was drunk off of my ass.
You freaking...
You freaking asshole.
You've seen my work, it ain't that shitty.
Oh my gosh.
It's like, you know what my skill level is, you prick.
Dude, the freaking, the way the Pinocchio looks, it just reminds me of, you remember Seed of
Chucky when Glenn is telling Chucky and Tiffany about everything with him and Chucky's just
like, the kid looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch all the way
down.
Oh yeah.
Shit, dude.
That's exactly how it feels with Pinocchio.
Yeah, I mean, dude, it freaking tracks though.
Yeah, right?
It was good.
Like I said, other than the weird pauses, which kind of drops it down, not like a whole
ton from story, just enough.
I mean, I would say it knocks it into the 80s.
Yeah, that's around where I'd be sitting, but dialogue wise, I'm trying to think of
anything that was just odd.
I think my biggest issue, dialogue wise, had to be with Count Volpe.
That's fair.
I think he, it was him and what's his name?
Him and Podesta, so him and Podesta pissed me off so much.
Remind me who Podesta was?
Podesta was the Nazi.
Oh, was he Candlewick's dad?
Yeah.
Okay.
But Count Volpe pissed me off because he's just like, oh, he's wanting reparations.
He didn't stick around to see if freaking Pinocchio would come back to life.
That would be my first assumption.
How could he be killed?
Yeah, seriously.
But he just freaking bounces and he's just like, okay, whatever.
I don't need this and leaves.
Freaking Podesta jumps right on it and he's like, aha, I was right.
You came back to life.
I'm just like, so you just snatched his body?
How the hell that happen?
Yeah, dude, seriously.
Then he goes and trains Pinocchio to be a freaking Nazi, which doesn't end up working,
spoiler alert.
Then freaking Count Volpe comes out of the freaking woodwork after the compound gets
blown up and he's just like, I'm claiming my money and I'm like, dude, what?
It got real ridiculous real quick.
Yeah.
I'm like, just get to the freaking whale.
Dude, seriously.
This was dropped a decent chunk for me.
Where are you sitting though?
I would say I'm at like, I'm gonna say an 86.
I might be a little lower.
I'm like in an 85 or 84.
No, that's fair.
Dude, no, I get it, man.
All right, moving on over to acting.
We have Pinocchio slash Carlo that was voiced by Gregory Mann.
We have Geppetto who is voiced by David Bradley.
For those of you that don't recognize his name, he is Filch in the Harry Potter movies.
Then we have Sebastian J. Cricket, who is voiced by Ewan McGregor.
Then we have like a pretty star studded cast.
The Priest was voiced by Byrne Gorman, Podesta was voiced by Ron Perlman, Dottore was voiced
by John Totoro, Candlewick was voiced by Finn Wolfhard, Spazzatura was voiced by Cate Blanchett,
who is a monkey.
Spazzatura is a monkey for those of you that...
I just realized that sounded like I called Cate Blanchett a monkey.
Well, I feel that there's really good reasoning though behind why she voices a monkey because
we watched the behind the scenes of this.
And apparently after she finished Nightmare Alley with Del Toro, she's like, you have
to put me in Pinocchio.
And he's like, well, the only role I have left to cast is the monkey.
She's like, okay, done.
I'm your monkey.
Dude, I freaking love Cate Blanchett.
I do too.
She's incredible.
Yeah, so she plays the monkey Spazzatura.
Tim Blake Nelson is in this.
He voices the Death Rabbits.
We have Christoph Waltz who voices Count Volpe.
Tilda Swinton who voices the Wood Sprite and Death.
And then we have Tom Kenny who voices Mussolini.
And then I'm just trying to see if there's any other big names, but I'm not seeing any.
So yeah, pretty decent sized cast.
Yeah, dude, straight up.
So what does your top three look like?
That is an excellent question.
Number three, I would give to Tilda Swinton.
She was fantastic as the...
They don't call her the Blue Fairy, right?
No, they call her the Wood Sprite and she also voiced Death.
Okay, so she's fantastic as both.
I feel Tilda Swinton's voice is so calming.
I don't know, maybe it's just me.
It absolutely is.
Okay, I'm not the only one.
So the fact that she's playing Death is just so perfect as well as the...
God, I already forgot.
The Wood Sprite is just so great.
She was absolutely incredible in this movie.
So I would give her number three.
Number two, I would give to Ewan McGregor who played Sebastian.
He was fantastic.
It's Ewan McGregor, of course he was fantastic.
I don't know if Ewan McGregor's done a lot of voice acting roles.
If he hasn't, he should do more because I feel he does a really good job.
I was very pleased with his Sebastian J. Cricket.
I thought he did a really good job.
And then number one, I would give David Bradley who played Geppetto.
I freaking loved him.
He was so good, especially the emotion that he gave when first dealing with Pinocchio
coming to life and throughout the whole movie dealing with, oh hey, you know, this puppet
is actually my son.
I need to not just throw him to the waste dump.
It's probably a weird way to put it.
Yeah, no, he was just absolutely incredible.
I don't have anything, nothing but good things to say about his portrayal.
I would put the, who plays Pinocchio again?
Gregory Mann.
So I would, if I had a four, if I had to do top four, I would put him at number four.
Don't get me wrong, he did a great job.
Really really good job for a kid.
And I know this was the point, but Pinocchio was so freaking whiny that it annoyed the
shit out of me sometimes.
So that's why he's not in my top three.
He's number four.
I know that's what they were going for.
And with that, the kid did a fantastic job, but just got annoying as hell sometimes.
Dude, that's fair.
He hasn't been in a whole lot of stuff.
His IMDB is seriously three items.
Damn.
Yeah, like a movie where he plays a character called Young Eli.
So I'm assuming it's like a flashback scene.
Three episodes in the show Victoria and then Pinocchio.
All right.
So this was his big break.
Yeah.
As for Ewan McGregor, I did get a little curious just to see if he's done any other voice work,
which he hasn't for a really long time.
I feel so dumb, wasn't Beauty and the Beast Lumiere?
I totally forgot about that.
Yeah, that was the last voice acting thing that he did or most recent.
He's way better in this movie.
Yeah.
But he hasn't done any voice acting, not including Beauty and the Beast, but he hasn't done any
voice acting since 2005 where he was in Valiant and Robots.
Oh yeah, he played Rodney.
Yep.
How the hell did I forget that?
I freaking love that movie.
And then just kind of going back a little bit more.
Yeah, that was like...
So he's only done the voice in like four things.
Interesting.
Yeah.
And I think he definitely needs to do more.
He has such a great voice.
And that's actually why I'm giving him my number one.
Hell yeah.
I really liked his portrayal of Sebastian Cricket.
The narration was just on point, like every single bit of it.
My number two...
This one's hard.
I'm probably going to give to Tilda Swinton.
Okay.
Like her wood spray and her death voices were just perfection.
Like it was so haunting the way that she spoke.
Like it was so good.
So freaking good.
Like absolutely no complaints with that.
My number three I'm going to give to Geppetto, voiced by David Bradley.
I think he offered a much more interesting take to Geppetto as a character.
Not even that long into the movie.
I actually started caring about Geppetto more than I ever cared for the Disney version.
Like either versions.
I would say I care about him as much as I did the original.
Not Tom Hanks' version though.
That's still a tough sell for me.
But yeah, he's been my favorite adaptation of Geppetto.
And then like you, my number four would go to Pinocchio, Gregory Mann.
He was just really freaking whiny and annoying.
And I know that was kind of the point.
But it was even after he got to a point where he was supposed to be the sentimental character
that he was still like super annoying.
And this is nothing against him as like acting credit.
But his freaking, the first song that he sings makes me want to like jump off a cliff.
Damn.
It is so freaking annoying, dude.
I would rather listen to Nails on a Chalkboard.
It was such an annoying song.
And that's, it's that song alone that makes me feel like they needed to just cut everything
musically.
So yeah, that's what my ranking looks like.
What are you sitting at with your acting score?
I would say I'm definitely higher than writing.
Overall, the main cast was great.
The extras were super good.
I don't really have any problems with any of the voice acting.
Everyone did a great job.
So I'm trying to think.
Let's, I'm going to go solid 90.
90 is not bad.
I'm not quite there yet.
I am in agreeance with you.
I am higher than writing.
I feel like for me it was a lot of the extras that kind of brought things down.
Like I didn't care for Finn Wolfhard's Candlewick.
You know what?
I actually forgot about him.
I'm going to actually knock mine down a point to 89 because of that.
I forgot about that.
Yeah.
So my acting, I'm sitting at like an 86, just a little higher than my writing.
But yeah.
Moving on over to character development.
This I thought was really good.
Yeah, it was.
This I would dare say is on the same level as like story for me.
Like the way that you, and it's kind of hard to do like one or the other, like when it
comes to like character development, because like their stories just entwined so well.
It's between Pinocchio and Geppetto and like Geppetto's eventual acceptance of Pinocchio
dealing with, because we see like Geppetto's on like a high when he's with his son, like
Carlo.
And as soon as his son's taken from him, he just drops down into the freaking dirt.
Yep.
Shut down completely honestly.
Yeah.
And we see him like kind of build himself back up into being open to accepting or giving his love to Pinocchio.
Yeah.
And that's just like a really sweet story in itself.
And then with Pinocchio, we get to see someone who's struggling to kind of find his place
in the world, but eventually finds it after becoming a real boy.
I'm a real boy.
Dude, that is one of the best scenes in that first Shrek movie.
Love that scene.
Oh man.
But it's a good arc when you get down to the nitty gritty of it.
Yeah.
It really is for both characters.
Like comparing this storyline to how it is in like both Disney adaptations, yeah, you
get some character growth, more so with Pinocchio than Geppetto.
But I just love in this one, you really get both.
And like I know it's not the best idea to, you know, like trying to work with two character
developments, but I feel it's hard to pick between the two.
So like just trying to base it off, like combine both into one.
But yeah, I really I have like little to no problems with this character development.
What Garamo was able to do with it.
Truly, truly incredible.
Yeah.
It's interesting the way that he was kind of using the different stories that were being
told like in the overall adventure that Pinocchio was on to kind of use them as building blocks
to the Pinocchio that we eventually got.
Yes.
And like, like I really liked when he was in the compound and they were training and
how him and Candle, was it Candlewick?
Yep.
Yeah.
Almost called Candlestick.
Anyway, but how him and Candlewick kind of grew a friendship when Pinocchio's innocence
was kind of rubbing off on him on Candlewick and realizing that like, oh, you shouldn't
be trying this hard to win the approval of your father.
And like talking about their fear, or at least Candlewick's fear of death and like all that
stuff.
It's just, it was just, it was really well done.
And then like, eventually you get to see him take a more like firm stance, like kind of
take like a Candlewick approach where he's just willing to stand up for what he feels
is right.
And Candlewick does like the same thing.
Like he stands up for what he feels is right and like wants to fight for the affection
of his father, which I mean, ultimately ends up in, I'm assuming all of them dying.
Fair.
But still, it's just like building blocks, like I said, it's just, we get to see the
progression and I think Guillermo did a really, really good job at sharing that story.
So character development, I think I'm on the like the same level as story.
So I'm sitting at like a 92.
It's gonna match you on that as well.
All right, moving on over to effects, which in this segment is probably covering like
the animation style.
And I think I've expressed this before.
I am personally not a big fan of stop motion animation, but I appreciate the art.
And I respect that.
Yeah, like the artistry that goes into this is just out of this world.
It really is just the fact of literally having to move a clay figure just slightly, barely
any movement.
Take a picture, move it just a little bit more.
Take a picture.
It's incredible.
How just literally you would you literally spend like a whole day's work just moving
a character's arm just up and down for one scene.
And it's truly incredible.
I'm probably over exaggerating here.
I don't think it would take that long.
I don't know.
I mean, I actually maybe would.
I don't really know.
I've never worked with stop motion at all.
I wish I would.
I would love to do that.
But yeah, it's it's honestly my favorite type of animation.
And so whenever I see something like like this, Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio or anything
that like it does with Coraline or Walson Gromit, I'm just in awe.
And I appreciate it so much.
And I love it so much.
Yeah, dude, it it's incredible.
I just looked up how long it takes to do stop motion.
They say it takes five to 10 or every day.
They're able to get five to 10 seconds of footage done.
Holy shit.
OK, so I wasn't over exaggerating with the whole hand movement.
No, it's ridiculous.
Dude.
Oh, it's such a craft and I love it so much and I respect everyone that works in this
field.
Dude, absolutely.
And if you watch the behind the scenes, it's like they weren't just dealing with one size
puppet.
They built puppets for close ups.
They built puppets that were like extremely small because they they had to build off of
scale.
And so like when they wanted to do close ups of Pinocchio and and Sebastian, the cricket,
like they had to have the properly scaled pieces.
And that was like a big struggle of theirs that they dealt with a lot.
And they had some that were maybe the size of of your pinky, at least when it came in
regards to Sabat or Sebastian Cricket.
Like they had one of his that was like the size of your pinky that they had to manipulate.
And then they had one that was like a big size puppet.
And so they had to build a Pinocchio that was to scale of that Jiminy or the Sebastian.
And it looks so cool.
It's ridiculous.
I wish they released more of the behind the scenes footage.
Dude, me too.
I don't know if this is getting a blur release.
I really hope it does.
But if it does, I hope they add more special feature wise with that shit, because I would
love to see more.
That would be incredible.
I mean, animation wise, everything looked perfect.
Yeah.
This is I'm in the high 90s.
I'm trying to think if there's any reason whatsoever to not be at 100.
I have no reasoning.
So I'm going 100.
Yeah.
I can't think of any good reason why not to be at 100 as well.
Stop motion is it's just perfect.
Like the amount, the attention to detail that you have to have to do something like that
is just outstanding.
Yeah.
So the animators deserve every single one of those points.
Yes, they do.
Moving on over to music.
This is where I have issues.
Yeah, same here.
I mean, the soundtrack.
Okay, I'm a little I need to put try and set my bias aside because I personally did not
care for this soundtrack.
Yeah, I can agree with you.
It wasn't that great.
Yeah, but I don't know.
I'm like I said, I'm trying to set aside my bias because for what they were going for,
it wasn't bad.
It did kind of put a halt on the story, which you kind of don't want to happen.
But the songs themselves weren't bad.
They worked with the scene really well.
They I think they got across all the emotion that they wanted to.
So I mean, I might be at like an eight.
I can match that.
All right.
Next up, we got costumes, which for this is going to be more like character design.
I actually I did not think that I was going to like the character design of Pinocchio
because it's so different from what the Disney one looked like.
He has no clothes.
He's just bare he's butt naked, even though he's made of wood, he's still butt naked.
But I ended up falling in love with this design for what Guillermo set out to do with this
version.
This the way that Pinocchio is Pinocchio is designed is just so perfect.
That goes for honestly every character.
I have very little problems with the character designs for these.
Freaking Geppetto looked great.
Sebastian especially looked fantastic.
I don't know what else to say.
I don't really have any critiques on the character design.
Even the what would fairy right?
Yeah.
What fairy and death looked amazing as well.
Oh my God.
Fantastic designs on those two.
Yeah, forget I loved it all.
So what are you sitting at with your costume score?
Costumes I would be at a nine.
Oh damn.
Oh man my.
I okay.
Let me get this out of the way first.
Pinocchio.
Sebastian.
The wood sprites and like the death rabbits and basically any non-human character.
Looked amazing.
Love their design.
I think Pinocchio has his own iconic look now.
Yeah, I can agree with that.
So I will definitely be giving points for that.
Where I am going to dock.
I did not care for Geppetto's look very much.
I know that they were trying to make him look kind of tattered and dirty and all that good
stuff and it worked.
Like it was fine.
Like he's probably the human character that I have the least issues with.
Okay.
All the other ones like.
Count Volpe or Podesto or Candlewick.
I'll even say Carlo when we do see him.
I put their design on the same level as the puppets from LazyTown.
Whoa.
You did not.
I am sorry.
I had to.
You mother.
I am just kidding.
See, the designs in this movie, the way the humans looked, reminded me a lot of how Leica
made the humans look in the box trolls.
And I actually really liked how they looked.
When it comes to doing this kind of design for humans, I feel I have a soft spot for
it.
I feel like I have more than others because a lot of people that I talk to are like you,
Caleb, where they're just like, it's a hit and miss for me.
So yeah, like I have nothing wrong with these designs.
I feel that they work and I enjoy them, but that's just me.
They work.
Like I'm not going to argue like that they do or don't work.
I just personally feel like they're a LazyTown level character design.
And that is so cold.
Rude.
I'll take it.
Yeah.
There's no change in my mind there.
But I will say the human characters are kind of a smaller part.
So I will give points where points are due.
And I, I, okay, my real score, I'd be at like an eight and a half, but we don't have an
eight and a half.
So I will happily round up to a nine.
We'll thank you.
Yeah.
But I would say that an eight, like knowing that we would have to round down to an eight
would not make me feel good when I know in my heart that I would be sitting at an eight
and a half.
All right.
Fair enough.
Yeah.
So we'll, we'll, we'll bump that.
But anyway, all right.
Last up, we got our own personal score.
Rose, you want to take this one?
I would love to.
So this movie was such a huge surprise for me.
I had, I had intended watching this.
But when I went up to Georgia, Caleb suggested, oh, hey, you know, like let's, let's watch
Pinocchio together.
So I'm like, yeah, why not?
Let's do it.
And I was so pleasantly surprised of how much I enjoyed this adaptation.
It's so different from the Disney versions, but in the best way possible.
And it's definitely the best portrayal of Pinocchio of 2022 compared to the Disney live
action one, which absolutely sucked.
So yeah, I, from the, the much darker story, its themes to the character design, the voice
acting, just everything is so solid.
It's so good.
And I love the direction that Guillermo took his version of Pinocchio.
He did such an amazing job.
See, I have, I have very little problems with this movie.
I had such a great time.
So I'm pretty damn high.
I'm at a 96.
Oh damn.
Yeah.
I had a really good time with this movie too.
Not nearly as much of a good time as I, as you did.
I'm kind of a Pinocchio whore.
So that's apparent.
I yeah, I just love the story of Pinocchio.
Yeah.
I, I'm very hit and miss with the, the Pinocchio tale.
It's not one of my first go-tos when it, when I think like classic children's stories, even
when it comes to like classic Disney, like there are other movies that I would watch
before Pinocchio.
But it's just mainly because I haven't enjoyed that story as much as other people have.
But this story was really well done.
Kind of a reignited my appreciation for the story of Pinocchio.
Kind of makes me want to kind of do a deep dive on the character and see how accurate
this version is compared to like the original tale.
But yeah, like, like, like you said, it's a, it's a good time if you go into it with
the expectations that, that we had for it.
So I might be a little harsher on it, but I, I'm still fairly high.
I'll be at like an 85.
Okay.
That's my personal score.
Alrighty.
So with that, starting off with story, we started off with a 92.
Our writing averaged out to an 85.
So just kind of a little lower than, than story.
Our acting got bumped up a little bit, sitting at an 87.5.
Character development got a decent bump sitting at a 92.
The effects just out of this world, sitting at a hundred.
Music fairly average, but good, but like, like really good.
So we gave it, ended up giving it an eight.
The character design or costumes were sitting at a solid nine.
And then our personal score averaged out to a 90.5.
So with that, the final all bros letter grade for Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio has come
to a, a minus.
Yes.
I love it.
Dude, I, I'm shocked if I'm being a hundred percent honest here.
You didn't think it was going to make eight here?
I did not think it was going to make eight here.
I thought it was going to be like a super strong B plus, but like, it's not anything
I'm upset about at all, but it surprising, very surprising.
So it's actually, let's see.
Where is it?
Okay.
So it's on the weaker side.
It's one of our lower a minus movies, but it's so it's sitting at a 90.25%.
Okay.
So like just barely squeaked about.
Yeah.
So it's sitting perfectly tied with us and soul.
Ooh, okay.
Yeah.
So all those movies are on the same level and that is not hard to disagree with.
Yeah, I absolutely agree.
Yeah.
So going, so going up.
So these are other a minus movies to compare this to.
So like I said, it's on the same level as us and soul, um, setting at a 90.25.
So that puts it below 1917, which we had at a 90.37, um, as well as little women, which
is at a 90.61.
Then it is below weird, the Ali Yankovic story and Dr. Strange in the multiverse of madness,
which are both sitting at a 90.62.
It is below Sonic the hedgehog to, which is at a 90.66.
And then finally it is below promising young woman, which is at a 90.75.
Going the opposite direction, it is sitting above the matrix.
The first one, which is adding 90.24 and then going into the B plus range.
It is above rocket man, which is at an 89.91.
It is above the Avengers, which is at an 89.88.
Yeah.
It doesn't that one kind of sting a little bit.
A little bit.
It's above Dawn of the planet of the apes, which is at an 89.87.
And then finally it is above elf, which is at an 89.85.
Not too shabby.
Yeah.
Not too, not too shabby at all.
Um, I will say, I think I know where it, where it scored above the Avengers and I think it
had to do with, uh, with music and maybe the character development.
See, I would argue that's hard because like, I feel the Avengers theme is pretty much the
music has become so well known that like, I would arguably give the Avengers, um, music
like a 10.
You are out of your mind.
If you think that Avengers deserved a 10.
Have you heard that theme?
Name one other song.
Damn it.
Okay.
That is exactly what I thought.
Fine.
A nine.
Dude, you are out of your freaking mind.
Kiss my ass.
All right.
Just for shits and giggles now, uh, I want to see where the Avengers, like where it actually
got its, uh, okay.
So music, we were, it's actually tied with Pinocchio sitting at an eight.
Should have been a nine.
Um, all right.
Let's see.
So we gave, we gave Avengers a higher story.
We gave it a high, we gave it higher writing, higher acting, lower character development,
lower effects, same, same music, lower costumes, and our personal score was higher.
Okay.
How does that work?
Oh, good point.
Oh, wait.
I'm sorry.
I think I said higher character development.
It actually got lower character development.
Oh, okay.
So yeah, I was right.
It was, it was, okay.
So it was effects and character development that killed Avengers.
Damn.
Which is fair.
Yeah.
I mean, it's valid.
Doesn't feel good, but it's valid.
Yeah, true that.
But anyway, I think it has a pretty decent home.
I agree.
Um, so unless you have anything else to say about this movie.
No, I got nothing.
Yeah, I do believe that that concludes this week's episode.
So if you liked this episode, want to check out more of our stuff, be sure to follow and
subscribe to us wherever you listen to podcasts.
We are basically everywhere.
If we're not, I mean, what you're listening, if you're listening, you kind of have an idea
of where we're at.
But yeah, I digress.
If you want to, to get a little insight on what we do on the day to day, I guess, not
really.
We do.
You can follow us on social media.
We are on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Also take talk all at the all bros.
We've actually been somewhat killing it on tick tock and it's been kind of great.
So yeah, if you guys want, you can also check out our website, which is tiny URL.com forward
slash the all bros where you can find links to everything that we do.
And with that, next week, you guys can look forward to us breaking down the next Marvel
installment, Ant-Man and the Wasp quantumania.
Hopefully with special guest, we'll figure that one out.
Hopefully.
But yeah, so that is something you guys can look forward to next week until then.
This has been the all bros podcast.
I'm Caleb and I'm Jonathan and we will catch you guys next week.
This is so long.
Nice.