What's up bros, I'm Jonathan.
And I'm Caleb.
We're a couple of bros on a mission to give you guys the most detailed movie reviews out
there with as little bias as possible.
Welcome to the all bros.
This week on the podcast we have nothing for a 4k spotlight and through the wall.
So we'll be jumping straight into our headliner which will be our breakdown of Cocaine Bear.
So Caleb, what do you say we get started?
I say let's do it.
Hello my name is Brecker Nurse and I want to tell you about my fun horror movie podcast
called Autopsy for Horror Movie.
On my show I like to have fun dissecting out what makes a horror movie scary, what worked
for it, what didn't, what types of fears does it play off of?
Is it an allegory for any sort of message?
I don't know but let's find out.
Also I like to watch slashers.
I'm a big slasher guy so I'll watch a slasher and do a kill grade for it.
I will cover the kills and I will tell you how I would grade it based on shock, method,
style points and a fourth category that is a reflection of the movie.
Besides those I'll have fun with special topic episodes, commentary tracks, interviews with
guests including some shutter directors so I just like to have a fun time over here.
If any of this sounds interesting to you or you just want to come check me out please
head over to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or anywhere they listen to podcasts and search for Autopsy
for Horror Movie.
Also be sure to find me on Instagram at Brucker Horror where you get fun updates and some
cool little posts that I do.
Thanks for listening and I hope that you get to enjoy this show and I'll see you on Instagram.
Bye.
Alright so like I said we got nothing for 4k spotlight or through the wall so we'll
be jumping straight into our headliner of the evening.
Caleb would you like to let everyone know how we break down movies on this podcast?
I would love to.
If you are new to our breakdown system we have split movies into 8 different categories
that we individually score to come to a final All Bros letter grade.
The 8 categories that we score are story, writing, acting, character development, effects,
music, costumes and then we give it our own personal score at the very end.
All of these numbers get magically added up and spit through our algorithm and give us
a letter grade to compare this movie to others of a similar grade as well as a percentage
but a percentage doesn't really matter that much.
It's just more fun for us despite as big of a deal as we make about it because we're stupid
that way.
So yeah but before we get into this breakdown we did ask a question of the week and we did
get quite a few responses so we are very excited for this.
So the question of the week that we posted was asking what animal drug combo would be
a good opponent for cocaine bear?
So we posted this on TikTok and Instagram and like I said we got a few responses.
The first response that we'll talk about comes from DJ at the untrained eye at untrained
iPod on Instagram and he had a few.
So I'll just go one by one and you tell me who you think would win in a fight between
this animal and cocaine bear.
Got it.
Alright we got Heroine Eagle.
Couldn't hold a straight face for longer than a second on that one.
I'd still give it to cocaine bear.
Fair.
Adderall Badger.
Cocaine bear but I love these.
Marijuana crocodile.
I think I'm going to give it to marijuana crocodile.
Really?
Yeah my money's going to be on marijuana crocodile.
My money would still be on cocaine bear and that's only because I feel like marijuana
would mellow the crocodile out.
Fair but he might be able to use that to his advantage.
Fair.
Uh PCP squirrel.
Wins it all.
That's exactly what I thought too.
I'm like dude PCP squirrel would jack some shit up.
Alright we have Meth Gator.
This would be a pretty bitchin' fight.
Yeah that would be.
DJ you need to go to Universal and pitch these because god damn these are amazing.
Dude I wouldn't be surprised if they're already being made as we speak.
True for how successful this movie was yeah.
Yeah alright Meth Gator fentanyl peacock.
Uh peacocks are terrifying as they are so my money would be on peacock?
I'm still giving it to cocaine bear.
I don't know if fentanyl would be enough to give peacock enough of a boost.
Fair enough.
Alright and then the last one he said alcohol dad.
Alcohol dad?
Definitely yeah no he fucking cocaine bear up.
Maybe in his mind as he's getting his neck ripped out.
Which hey but it still counts.
But then he threw in we can make these movies into infinity.
Oh my god.
Alright DJ you just won the internet for me tonight.
Oh man.
Alright moving on over to TikTok.
Like I said we got quite a few responses.
More responses than suggestions though.
Wow that's amazing.
Yeah I know never thought I'd see today.
But still to anyone that did post a suggestion on there thank you very much we really appreciate
you but we are focusing on the answers to the question of the week.
Alright so first response we got was from Mega Michael 800 who says crocodile crocodile?
The drug named crocodile?
I'm going to look that up.
Yeah it's a desomorphine or it's called desomorphine.
Its street names are crocodile or yeah so crocodile is a straight name for desomorphine.
It's a semi synthetic opioid.
Interesting I like it crocodile crocodile.
I like it.
Alright that's a winner I like it.
Yeah it does say it acts as a sedative so I am going to be giving this to cocaine bear.
Yeah same here.
Let's see the next response we got is from Dildo Tickler who said heroin alligator.
Yeah that would be a really good competition for cocaine bear.
Yeah I bet that's a freaking coin flip.
Yeah I would agree.
Let's see next we got A underscore J underscore M18 who says cocaine yogi bear.
Oh my god yes.
Again I think that's a coin flip.
What if it's cocaine bear versus cocaine yogi bear on heroin boo boo.
That depends does and this is a spoiler for the movie so skip by this does boo boo have
to take on the cubs.
Yes.
I think I still got to give it to cocaine bear.
Really you don't think boo boo can take them.
I don't know boo boo seems a little soft.
Damn hey in that deleted ending he freaking shot yogi for money.
Fair enough.
You've seen that right?
Yeah isn't it like a parody or?
No it was actually like an alternate ending.
Dude what?
Yeah like dead serious.
Yeah.
Oh shit.
Okay.
Alright next response we got is from The Hidden One who said a dragon on crack.
Yes I'm giving it to the dragon.
I'm giving it to the dragon too.
Let's see next one we got is from Local Pizza Tower underscore player who said meth shark
or same thing as a Florida alligator.
Meth shark I like that.
You know I'd probably give it to meth shark.
I'd give it to I think meth shark would have the home field advantage unless they fall
on land then I think cocaine bears taking it.
Oh yeah no question.
Let's see we got one from from Kitties who said cocaine kitten.
I mean cocaine bear cocaine bear would still win I feel but like if we're talking like
who we could uh eff up humans more I feel it might be cocaine kitty because you know
you're getting like the cuteness from it and then all of a sudden just freaking lunges
at you and just tears you to shreds.
Fair enough.
Let's see next one Funko Fantastic said cocaine raptor.
So we're in a Jurassic World situation here.
I'm giving that to raptor.
I'm giving it to raptor too.
We got one from Ann Bell who says cocaine shark.
Same thing with crack what was it crack shark.
Meth shark.
Meth shark sorry thank you.
It's kind of the same thing whereas yeah if we're in water definitely shark but if we're
on land cocaine.
Yeah let's see we got one from Horror Movie Edits who said I don't know if this was a
typo.
I don't know if he meant coke shark but it's he the misspelling was coke Shrek.
So I really hope it's coke Shrek.
I want to see that Shrek is Shrek is fucking cocaine bear up.
Really yeah.
He's an ogre man.
Okay fair enough.
I was still thinking I'd give that to cocaine bear but I mean it might be a coin flip.
It'd be it'd be a close fight for sure.
All right next up we got one from I Love South Park who said man bear pig.
Man bear pig.
Okay yeah and he didn't he didn't list a drug so I'm just assuming like any drug I think
it'd be a pretty close competition.
Yeah all right and then let's see we got one from Brody underscore 182 who says steroid
stallion.
I'm gonna give it a stallion.
Dude me too.
I think a freaking roid rage stallion is freaking snapping cocaine bears neck.
True that's so true.
And I'm going to give it to this other one who comes from 583 or Darren Watkins 656 who
said steroid kangaroo.
Oh yeah yeah definitely giving it.
Absolutely giving it to kangaroo.
That would be an epic fight.
But cocaine bears getting all types of jacked up.
So yeah that is all the responses so thank you to everyone that answered our question
of the week.
We really appreciate it and we loved these answers.
Yes those are some great.
So without further ado let's get into this breakdown.
Like I said if you have not seen the movie you're probably going to want to watch it
first.
I think some of the kills are spoilers for sure.
I don't think the story overall is necessarily a spoiler but I think some of the kills are.
So if you don't want those spoiled for you you might want to watch it first.
It is available on Peacock so definitely go check it out and then come back and listen
to this.
Otherwise if you listen beyond this point Rose is about to spoil the entire freaking
movie for you.
So without further ado Rose or reading with Rose everyone.
Alright in 1985 drug smuggler Andrew C. Thornton II drops a shipment of cocaine from his plane.
He attempts to parachute out with a drug filled duffel bag but knocks himself unconscious
on the door frame causing him to fall to his death.
His body lands in Knoxville Tennessee where he is identified by Bob a local detective.
He concludes that the cocaine is likely from St. Louis drug kingpin Sid White and the remainder
is missing.
Meanwhile in the Shahoochee Okoni National Forest I really hope that does not come up
again in this freaking plot.
An American black bear eats some of the cocaine becoming highly aggressive and attacking two
hikers Elsa and Olaf killing the former.
In northeast Georgia middle schooler Dee Dee lives with her mother nurse Saris.
Did they pronounce how to say it?
S-A-R-I.
Sorry?
Yeah I'm going to say Sarie.
Sarie okay.
So Dee Dee lives with her mother nurse Sarie.
Dee Dee skips school with her best friend Henry in order to paint a picture of the falls
in the forest.
On the trail to the falls the pair finds a lost brick of cocaine and ingests some before
they are attacked by the bear.
S-A-R-I.
Ventures into the forest to search for the children with park ranger Liz and Peter a
wildlife activist.
The three find Henry clinging to a tree hiding from the bear.
The bear attacks sending Peter stumbling through a pile of cocaine and slashing Liz in the
process.
Attracted to a cocaine coated Peter the bear kills him ignoring Henry.
Sarie and Henry flee deeper into the forest and Liz sends for help.
In St. Louis Sid sends his fixer Davey Davide to recover the remaining cocaine.
Davide travels to Georgia with Eddie Sid's son who has grown depressed following the
death of his wife and has abandoned his son.
They arrive in Georgia as does Bob.
At the forest station Davide gets into a fight with the Dutch Camp's gang, three delinquents
who cause trouble in the forest.
After Davide beats them one of the members stash agrees to take Davide and Eddie to recover
some of the cocaine he stashed in a gazebo.
Liz arrives back at the station pursued by the bear.
Liz accidentally kills Ponytail one of the do champs before the bear slaughters Vest
the other one.
Paramedics Beth and Tom arrive and collect Liz after a brief skirmish with the bear.
They leave with Liz in an ambulance but the bear pursues and jumps into the vehicle.
In the ensuing chaos Tom is killed by the bear while Liz falls out of the ambulance
and is dragged to death on the road.
Beth loses control of the ambulance and crashes into a tree causing her to fly through the
windshield to her death.
Sarie and Henry discover that Dee Dee left them a trail of paint which they use to track
her.
Davide and Eddie are taken to the gazebo but find Bob there with the stashed duffel of
cocaine.
The bear appears but Bob distracts it with the bag of coke.
Bob is suddenly shot fatally by Sid who reveals that he is under pressure by his superiors
to retrieve the cocaine.
Sarie and Henry find a mourning Olaf who leads them to Dee Dee's hiding place.
The bear's cave containing its two cubs revealing that the bear is a mother.
Olaf leaves and is killed by the bear.
Sid, Eddie and Davide find the cave which leads out to a ledge behind the falls.
The bear returns to the cave.
Sarie, Henry and Dee Dee jump into the water below to safety followed by Eddie and Davide
who have chosen to quit the drug business together and they all survive.
However Sid refuses to leave the bag of cocaine found in the cave.
Eddie shoots and wounds the bear but is unsuccessful in killing it and is disemboweled by the bear
and her cubs.
Later Stash hitchhikes to New York with a duffel bag of cocaine while Eddie accompanied by
Davide and Bob's dog reunites with his son.
Doolesome
how little cocaine bears in this movie.
Yeah, seriously, like what the fuck?
Like, I didn't care about them, I didn't care that much about the mother and her like, you know.
Dude, seriously, I could give two shits about-
Okay, I will say this, the kid Henry was freaking hilarious.
Oh yeah, I freaking loved that kid.
Yeah.
The freaking one, they're like doing the- when they're like freaking eating it,
I'm just like, you're supposed to snort it or smoke it, but whatever.
I mean, of course, you know, they don't know that.
The kid, for the fact when he's just like, oh, this is nothing like the shit I'm used to.
Oh my god.
Like that, yeah.
I like how he was the best part.
I love the part where he was like, trying to see if he was going to get in trouble.
Yeah.
I mean, you got to give him like props for like, not trying to make it sound that obvious,
but like also like, yeah.
Like for a little kid explaining like how to get out of it without like straight up telling an adult,
yeah, me and your daughter did cocaine.
Like he did a pretty good job, I feel.
He did a horrible job.
I'm just like, dude, you oversold this.
Like she's super on to you, dude.
What?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I think the- I don't know.
Like, again, I think you covered it.
They had two stories going on and neither of them were super compelling.
I think the drug one with like David and Eddie, I think that was a little bit more interesting than Ceres and like the mother and kid one.
It was.
And I think it's just, I feel, because I actually really like O'Shea Jackson Jr. and what is it?
Alden Enric, isn't that his name?
Yeah.
I actually liked them together.
I thought they were actually pretty good together.
I mean, frickin' Alden kind of was annoying at first because, God, he was so bitchy.
But I learned, as the movie went on, I learned to like him.
So those two, that was good.
And especially the whole frickin', once he beats the shit out of those three guys and he just won't, he can't get off the, man, this was my favorite frickin' jersey.
And now it's got blood all over it.
Like that was good.
Like there were moments that like I enjoyed, like I laughed.
Like there was a frickin', like when the one kid opens the door of the frickin' ranger station and he's just like, oh, fuck, that's a bear.
And the frickin', what's the ranger's name?
Just literally shoots him point blank through the head.
I'm like, oh, shit.
Dude, that was hilarious.
I did not see that.
That was great.
That was like my biggest like jaw dropping moment.
Dude, I figured, I will say this, I did think like, okay, he's gonna get shot.
But I didn't think he was gonna get blasted through the frickin' brain like that.
Yes, seriously.
Like, God damn.
Dude, that was frickin' hilarious.
Like my, like I love that.
My favorite bit in this though was when Sid showed up and he asked, or Eddie like meets up with Eddie and he's just like, yo, where's Gabe?
And he's like, he's at home watching TV.
Like, because he's in like St. Louis.
And then when they go and are meeting up with Detective Springs while he's on the top of the, what's it called, gondola?
Gazebo.
Gazebo, yeah.
When he's on top of the gazebo and what's her face?
Officer Reba comes in and she's like, wait, where's my dog?
And he's like, oh, sorry, it's in the car.
And Sid's like, you left her in the car?
Like you left a dog in the car?
You left my son in St. Louis.
Okay, with her, could you see that coming a mile away?
Her actually working for the bad guys?
Once she appeared?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Okay.
Sorry, that's what I meant.
I thought, yeah, once she appeared, like, yeah, I'm like, okay, she's totally working for the bad guy here.
Like super obvious, but I thought she was just like the plot device to drop off Bob's dog.
I would have probably liked that better.
Yeah, like I don't think she needed to be in it too much.
I think there was a lot of unnecessary care.
Yeah, because like literally like after they let her, you know, run away when they're in the cave, like nothing else happens with her.
That's it.
Yeah.
So she's seriously there to bring the dog to Eddie.
Yeah, that's literally her plot device, not plot device, her whole, her whole, wow, her whole plot, her whole character plot.
And we will be getting into this with, with, I guess, character development, because this wasn't really a horror, was it?
I don't know.
We got a lot of killing.
Yeah, but does killing equal horror?
I mean, what do they even classify this as?
I'm looking at that too.
A comedy thriller.
Okay, so yeah, it's not a horror movie.
Yeah, so we'll still be talking about character development here.
Okay, well, that's, you know, that's not going to go well.
So, I mean, story wise, the, like you said, human characters, I could give two shits about.
Yeah.
There was no story that was interesting enough to me.
The only thing I wanted to see was the Cocaine Bear jacking people up.
There wasn't enough of it.
Yeah, there absolutely wasn't enough of it.
This was like a super below average story, dude.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, I'm at like 65.
I'm not much higher than that.
I think honestly, maybe a 66 if I'm being real nice here.
It's just there wasn't anything to like care about here.
Like you don't see the only thing that I really, they just, they needed to pick a storyline.
Dude, seriously though, straight up.
I personally would have gotten rid of Sari and I would have, yeah, I would have gotten rid of her story completely.
I probably would have stuck Dee Dee's and Henry, but just because I like Henry's character a lot.
Either I would have like, actually I might have gotten rid of Dee Dee because Dee Dee was freaking worthless in this too.
I would have like had this, had a focus on Henry and maybe Henry meets up with with David and Eddie.
Ooh, okay.
And then like kind of dealing with that kind of replacing Stash.
Ooh, I like that, okay.
Yeah, so I would have, I probably would have just rearranged everything, gotten rid of some unnecessary characters and whatnot,
but they did not give us a compelling story whatsoever.
No, they did not.
Like anytime there was no cocaine bearer, I was just, I want some cocaine bearer.
No, like seriously, like don't get me wrong, like these, I know it's not a horror movie,
but you know, like these kind of movies, we, most people just come to, you know, get people, get brutally murdered.
That's usually what they come to.
That's what a lot of people come to, you know, like Friday the 13th, Halloween movies, shit like that.
I don't know, for me, they still make the story very interesting,
so I'm still invested in the other characters that are not Michael Myers.
So I still have a good time when Michael Myers is not literally obliterating the people that are on screen.
Yeah, with this, I could just give two fucks less.
The story didn't need to be anything grand or good or whatever.
It just had to be like an average story and they overcomplicated it.
I think that's the main issue here. It's just over complication and it just didn't work in anyone's favor.
Yeah, I don't need to know where exactly the cocaine is coming from.
I don't need to know that.
Well, okay, like where it started from.
I think you need that.
Okay, that's true. Okay. Maybe like from what, I didn't really need to know like how it's bouncing from people to people.
That, yes. I will definitely agree with you there.
I think you do need that sense of urgency from Sid on like for David and Eddie to hunt that stuff down.
Yeah.
But yeah, I would have gotten rid of the sorry storyline.
Yeah, I can definitely agree with that.
The other ones I probably would have kept.
I mean, like ultimately when you think about it, like what happens if you cut sorry, Dee Dee, and Henry from this movie?
Absolutely nothing. The same story happens.
Yep.
Almost to a tee, except Sid doesn't have someone to be like, who's that behind the rock?
Yeah, that's true.
Like it's a bullshit plot line that could have been cut completely.
I was much more interested, like if you wanted to focus more on Detective Springs, David and Eddie,
and then bring Sid in later, like exactly like you did with like a little side plot with Ranger Liz and Peter, have at it.
But I think this other bullshit like, I kept forgetting that she was, that Dee Dee was missing,
or like that that whole plot was happening. I was just like, oh, sweet kills. And then it's like, Dee Dee. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. I forgot that is a plot.
Yeah, it's just that could have been cut completely. And because it wasn't completely frickin ruined the movie.
Yeah, I agree.
Also, I kind of I do feel like the Cubs might have been a little unnecessary.
That's fair. I mean, they were adorable, like watching them hopped up on cocaine. That was frickin hilarious.
But yeah, they like to have a little comment. They look like tiny little polar bears.
That was great.
And you know, it's cool watching them literally after the mom slices Sid slices his stomach open.
Or literally just chowing down on his intestines. So that was cool. But yeah, if you if you took them out of it, wouldn't make any difference.
Yeah. I think they just needed they needed more killing in this. It's basically what this comes down to.
Again, like the story didn't need to be anything extravagant or good, but it could have been a little bit better.
Yeah, agreed.
All right, moving on over to writing. I will say the writing is a lot better.
It is. Yeah, I can definitely agree with that.
I think a lot of the jokes and shit that they threw in here were frickin hilarious. Oh, yeah.
Said anything with Henry is frickin comedic.
Henry was in credible as a character, dude. Like that kid's delivery was awesome.
It was like I frickin loved everything they did.
Like I loved how he's like up in the tree and he's just like that bears f'd up or like how he was talking about like he's done drugs before and shit like that.
Like that shit was so funny. Was it him that said like was it him that says no bears can climb trees or was that someone else?
I forget who says that, but someone says, oh, I think it's him. OK, bears can't climb trees.
And then I don't know if it's like Peter that like goes along with it because he frickin like climbs the shit out of that other tree.
Yeah, he does. Which I mean, I will get into his death here in a second when it comes to acting.
But yeah, I mean, writing wise, I think a lot of the humor was on point.
I had very little problems with it. No, I agree.
Like I wasn't like frickin like laughing my ass off, but I got a good couple of chuckles in this one.
Oh, yeah, for sure. I'm I'm personally at the higher end of 70s.
OK, like I might be around a 77 because again, it's the writing wasn't anything Oscar worthy or whatever.
But it was exactly where a movie like this should be, which is in the 70s range above average.
No, actually, I might even be a little bit nicer. I might go seventy nine. I'm going to be a little then you had a seventy five.
But I definitely agree with what you're saying. Yeah, I mean, that's totally fair.
That is absolutely fair. Moving on over to acting, we had a pretty star studded cast for this one.
We had Kerry Russell, who plays Sari Alden Ehrenreich, who plays Alden Enrich.
Enrich. I think so. Yeah. Alden Enrich, who plays Eddie O'Shea Jackson Jr., who plays David Ray Leota, who plays Sid White.
Isaiah Whitlock Jr., who plays Detective Bob Springs, Brooklyn Prince, who plays Dee Dee, Christian Convery, who plays Henry, Margot Martindale, who plays Ranger Liz, and Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who plays Peter.
Then I will also include Aaron Holliday, who played Stash, one of the teens, just because I feel like he did have a decent size part.
That's fair. I can definitely agree with that.
Yeah, so all right, let's do top three. Yeah, so top three actors and maybe like the favorite and least favorite kill.
Okay, so top three. Number three, I'd give to Alden Ehrenreich. Really enjoyed his performance. Like I said, he was whiny at first, but it made sense for his character.
But I definitely enjoyed his performance as it went on, especially the whole when the bear collapses on him.
And he says it's a girl and they're like, how the hell do you know that? He's like, because her vagina is in my ear.
That show was great. Number two, I would give to O'Shea Jackson Jr.
Really enjoyed his performance. I thought he was hilarious in this one.
Yeah, I just had a good time watching him whenever he was on screen.
But number one, I got to give to Christian Convery, who played Henry, because this kid knows comedic timing with what he was given for lines.
Loved him every single time that he was on screen. The best part of this movie to me, besides the kills with the bear.
So yeah, that would be my top three.
Dude, that kid hasn't been in a whole lot. Really? I hope he freaking gets more because kid is really good.
He's really freaking good. I don't know if you've watched it, but he's in a Netflix series called Sweet Tooth.
I have not. It's produced by Robert Downey. Oh, pretty good show.
It's a weird show, but it's good. He's actually one of the better parts of that show.
Nice. So you said least favorite kill and favorite kill?
Yeah, least favorite and favorite kill.
Okay, I would say my least favorite was... So it was one of the kids that he was at the ranger station.
He was like the first one that we're introduced to with like the hat that he had pointed up.
I'm pretty sure that was Stash.
That was? No, it was another one.
You think it was Vest?
Yeah, it was Vest. I think his kill was probably my least favorite just because I feel the only thing that was shown before he gets mutilated by the bear is literally the bear doesn't like break through the window and the claw goes over his face.
Yeah, and that's all you see.
Until later on you see he got mutilated, his head got cut off and everything.
So the fact that we don't see him getting killed, I would say that's my least favorite.
The aftermath is freaking brutal as all hell and I loved that.
But considering we don't see it, I would give that to my least favorite.
Favorite though...
Can I say it's like all three of like when they're in the freaking ambulance because like all of them are just awful.
Oh my gosh, dude. I'll take that.
Okay, I would give it to yeah, especially freaking Margot Martindale, her ranger Liz.
Holy...
Freaking just literally just murder being dragged across the pavement because oh my god, oh hell no.
Dude, that was so hard to watch.
Yeah, that was ridiculous.
Oh, good choices though.
All right, my top three actors.
I'm going to give O'Shea Jackson Jr. my number one spot.
I thought he did incredibly well and with everything that he did and dude, I'll say this.
I've never felt like he's looked like his dad until this movie.
He looks so straight out of Compton.
I haven't seen straight out of Compton.
Oh, okay.
Yet it is on my list of movies to watch.
I recommend it.
Yeah, but out of all the other stuff I've seen, everyone's like, oh yeah, that's Ice Cube's kid.
I'm like, is it though?
This like absolutely confirmed.
I love that.
Is it though?
Okay, not trying to say anything like negative there for any of you that like thought I was being an asshole.
No, this is just like he doesn't look quite like his dad or as much like his dad like as everyone else seems to believe.
He looked very much like his dad in this movie.
If you think that like, yeah, watch straight out of Compton.
He's like the spitting image of his dad in that one.
Okay, fair enough.
But I will say this.
He freaking out acts his dad.
You know what?
That's yeah, I could agree with that.
I love Ice Cube, but he's not the greatest actor.
He is such a good freaking actor, dude.
He needs to get more work.
Dude, he sold everything.
Like I loved like when he freaking lost his fingers when he's like calling the truce with the freaking detective on the gazebo.
That was great.
Freaking all that shit, dude.
All of that was so freaking good.
Like I had such a good time with his character.
My number two, I'm going to give to Christian Convery, who's played Henry.
I thought the kid was hilarious and he helped make this movie worth watching.
And then my number three, I'll also give to Alden Enrique.
I thought he did a good job.
Like you said, same issues.
Felt he was a little whiny, but he did get better.
And he actually had some like really funny shit to do.
Like when the bear came and like just lay down on top of him, like that shit was really funny.
Especially the fact that he freaking just puts David's fingers just in his jacket pocket.
It's like, I'll just hold on to these.
OK.
Yeah, I love that whole interaction.
Just like, can I like get those for him?
And the freaking like stashes reaction is like, like, how did that even happen?
It's like they're not even next to each other.
Freaking hilarious.
So I loved, loved that shit.
All right.
Least favorite kill, I'm going to give to Peter, our Jesse Tyler Ferguson's character.
That's fair.
And this is why it I think it could have led into one of my favorites, but we don't really get to see what happened to him.
Like, not really.
Like, so for those of you who haven't seen it, the cocaine bear is climbing up the tree trying to get to Henry.
But Peter had just crawled through a mountain of cocaine and saw the bear and like leaped up this other tree.
And so when cocaine bear got up to the top where Henry was, he started or she started sniffing around and smelled Peter that was covered in cocaine.
So she jumps down, starts climbing up Peter's tree and starts attacking him.
And so you kind of see, see her take a bite out of his thigh.
And then that's it.
The rest of the time it's you.
All you see is like Henry climbing down the tree.
Sorry.
And Henry like having like a little conversation before hauling ass.
And so that entire time you hear Peter just sit in there screaming.
But it wasn't like it didn't feel real.
Like it just kind of felt like you sit there going, like whiny.
It just like, dude, you're getting your body torn apart.
Yeah.
And then like, like after Henry and sorry, run away.
You just see his body like collapse on the ground and then his leg.
It just was lame.
It's like I wonder if Elizabeth Banks has a foot because that is when it comes to kills.
Yeah.
When it comes to mutilated body parts, that's literally the one thing that you always see is the person's foot.
Dude, so Elizabeth Banks, you got some explaining to do.
I don't know what it is, dude.
I do not know what it is.
It's I didn't like it.
I think that that all of that shit could have been done significantly better.
I'm trying to see.
Has she done other directing work or at least in terms of horror?
I don't think so.
The only other movie I can remember the two movies I can remember that she's directed besides this are Pitch Perfect 2, the reboot of Charlie's Angels.
And we both felt about that.
Try like looking back just to see if she's done any other horror stuff.
The only other thing that she's been in was Brightburn.
I heard that movie sucked.
It actually wasn't bad.
Oh, really?
Oh, yeah.
Everyone said it sucked.
I disagree.
All right.
I found it to be really terrifying.
That's Zac Efron's in that, right?
Wait, no, I'm thinking of a I'm thinking of a way different movie.
Brightburn. What was that one?
Brightburn's Evil Superman.
That's what OK.
I'm sorry.
I was thinking of Firestarter.
Yeah.
I haven't heard good things about Firestarter.
OK.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
No, I've heard I've heard mixed things about Brightburn.
But for the most part, yeah, people actually did enjoy that one.
Brightburn's a good one.
If you get a chance to.
I still need to watch it.
Very good.
I think it might be on HBO.
Let me just check real quick.
Oh, sweet.
OK.
No, it's not.
Damn it.
I've been wanting to buy it on Blu-ray or 4K, but it like is never on a good sale price.
Highly recommend.
It it kind of has that Man of Steel vibe to it.
But horror and it's freaking terrifying.
OK.
So check it out.
Yeah.
Anyway, get like get back on track.
Yeah, I think the fun thing about doing horror movies or thrillers or whatever this is.
And like you making this a comedy thriller, you can take the artistic liberties to get
really creative with these kills.
This was no more creative than any other bear attack scene that I've ever seen.
Like it's someone getting like ripped up by a bear clawed at like where was the creativity?
I think the most creative that she got was with the frickin bear mauling the dude in
the ambulance.
Yeah.
Like that was hilarious for that was honestly my favorite scene.
Yeah, which kind of like ties into my my favorite, which is exactly the same one as yours.
Ranger Liz.
That was so difficult to watch, dude.
Yeah, so like I saw what was happening.
Like when she tipped over, I was like, oh, this this is going to suck.
And then they showed her scraping.
Oh, my gosh.
Like I couldn't watch, dude.
Like I turned away just like, oh, it was brutal.
And that's what I feel like this should have been.
It should have been way more brutal than it was.
Yeah, exactly.
I will say this.
The only thing that made me even feel like this was somewhat of a horror movie was when
the paramedic opened that door and you see cocaine bear come out of the shadows.
Yeah, that was terrifying.
That was very terrifying.
So, oh, my gosh.
Anyway, so where are you sitting with acting?
Just because I honestly enjoyed basically everyone except for and it's nothing against her.
What was her name?
Nothing against Carrie Russell, like great actress, but she didn't really get a lot to do in this movie.
Her character is not well written.
I don't think that's yeah, I don't think the like being in this is her fault.
It's not what she was given to do.
And it's just it wasn't a lot.
I've seen her do much better stuff.
Yeah, fine actress, just horrible written role, horribly written role.
Yeah, and it just like it came off like really dry.
Yeah.
Like even when she like when they ran into Dee Dee, like I couldn't it was hard to feel that emotion from her.
Like you just found your daughter who you thought was dead alive.
Yeah.
Like I'd be losing my frickin mind.
No, yeah, same here.
So I think I'm going to be at a I'll be at an eighty one.
Yeah, I'm going to be a little bit lower.
Like I didn't quite crack the eighties.
I think I'm going to be around a seventy eight.
That's fair.
Everyone did like an adequate job.
There were definitely some highlights above, but I don't think a lot of these people got to do their best work.
Agreed.
And like most of these actors, I really, really liked.
And I got to say, I love Ray Liotta.
This was not my favorite movie.
And if this was his last movie, it's not he has another movie coming out this year.
He does.
OK, I really hope it's a good one, because I mean, may he rest in peace.
Amazing actor.
But yeah, this wasn't OK because I forgot about his performance.
So I'm actually going to knock mine down to a dude.
Actually, he has three movies that are coming out soon.
Two of them are in post-production right now and one of them is coming out in twenty or later this year.
Hmm.
Which is, oh, it's that movie with Charlie Day.
The Fool's Paradise one.
Oh, oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So he's going to be in that and he has two other movies that are coming out.
One's another thriller and then another is a drama.
OK, cool.
But yeah, I love Ray Liotta, but I again, I just don't think he was given his best work here.
No, he was not.
Just really unfortunate.
He's been a way better comedies like Wild Hogs.
Oh, my gosh. I love Wild Hogs.
Yeah, I love him in that movie.
All right.
Next up, we got character development, which I mean, there's not one person that we could really focus on.
It's just any development whatsoever.
I mean, at least, I mean, David and shit, what's Alden's character's name?
Eddie.
Eddie, you know, at the end of the movie, they leave the drug.
Well, actually, I'm sorry.
Eddie was already out of the drug business.
So I guess David decides to leave the drug business at the end of the movie.
So I guess with that, he's finally realizing that it's not a good business to be in.
So I guess that's some character development.
Not much like they didn't.
You know what?
I feel like it's a little unfair to rate this movie and get like in terms of character development, knowing that it's not going to be very good.
So just do logic.
I think we should do logic because this was walking the horror line.
It was.
I agree.
Yeah, if we're doing logic, then considering that, you know, I mean, this is actually based on true events.
Like, yeah, a lot was stretched to make a make a story because I want to say that it said that the bear.
Sorry, I want to I actually want to read.
I almost like if it wasn't so late when I watched Cocaine Bear, I probably would have watched the documentary afterward.
Dude, I didn't even know there was one. I should have.
Yeah, it's called Cocaine Bear, a true story.
Oh, so it was like right after the after on Peacock.
I missed that for some reason.
See, it says the Cocaine Bear was a 175 pound American black bear that fatally overdosed on cocaine in 1985.
The cocaine had been dropped by drug smugglers in the wilderness in Tennessee, United States.
The bear was found dead in northern Georgia and was stuffed and displayed at a mall in Kentucky.
So I did the bear attack anyone?
No, it's not. It's not known if anything actually happened with that.
Well, that's bullshit.
Because I think Elizabeth Banks touched on that.
I know she gender swapped the bear.
Oh, she did? Yeah.
See, it says the film's plot differs from real life events in a number of ways, notably the real life Cocaine Bear is not known to have killed anyone after consuming drugs and what transpired in the film leading up to its death from overdose is unknown.
Okay, so it doesn't sound like anything happened then.
Yeah, it says in an interview with Variety's Adam B. Varie, Banks stated that this movie could be seen as that bear's revenge story.
Okay.
I think she's reading too much into her own bullshit.
Yeah, she is.
Like, don't get me wrong, freaking love you Elizabeth Banks, but really?
Yeah, like, come on.
Just say it was a bullshit movie. We'll believe you. We'll still go see it.
Yeah, exactly.
So like, you know, like, thinking about all that logic and everything, like, I feel that it does a decent job. I mean, like, it's hard to like, I feel really like, you know, bears kill people, they're very brutal if like, you know, you piss off a bear.
Add cocaine into that? Yeah, definitely a bear is going to be more aggressive than it usually is.
And I feel for the most part when it comes to the deaths, like, it is definitely portrayed well.
I don't, any way that the bear kills someone in this movie, it doesn't feel out of something that could actually happen in real life.
Taking, even taking away the cocaine, because bears are very giant creatures, they're very aggressive, and they're scary as hell.
And so the way that people are killed in this movie, yeah, I'm not, I can absolutely see.
Yeah. So logic's pretty good.
Yeah, I will say this.
I was hoping that they were going to play off of the whole, the bear situation.
Not the situation. So the whole saying with between brown bears and black bears.
Like, have you heard like? Yeah, yeah, they say it in the movie. I'm like, I've never heard that before.
Yeah, so I just looked it up real quick and it's on the National Park Service website, not freaking Wikipedia.
If that was, dude, I was just like, I read that. I was like, oh, OK, cool.
And it's like sourced by Wikipedia. And I'm like, oh, well, it's probably bullshit then.
So this is on the National Park Service website. If you encounter a brown bear, you play dead.
But if you encounter a black bear, you have to beat the ever living shit out of it.
End quote. Is that exactly what it says?
I wish, no. It says, if a if a black bear charges and attacks you in all caps, fight back with everything you have.
Do not play dead. Direct punches and kicks at the bear's face and use any weapon like rocks, branches or bear sprites to defend yourself.
All right.
So this is something I wish they would have played up on. I would have liked someone to fight this bear.
Because honestly, when they display that on screen, they're just like sourced from Wikipedia.
I'm like, OK, like it's got to come back into play. Like it's got to become like a funny joke, right? No, it doesn't.
Missed a good opportunity, I feel.
They missed a damn good opportunity. And I think they needed someone else that was hyped up on cocaine.
Yeah.
So I. I feel like that I missed opportunity there.
Logic wise, though, I will agree with you. I mean, it's nothing special. It's like they follow their rules pretty decent.
I do think that they kind of at least with the interaction between Ranger Liz and Peter, like right before Peter, like climb the tree and everything,
I do feel like that, like the whole bear situation was a little too ninja like for me.
So I'm probably going to dock for that. But I mean, everything else, they did a decent job.
I'll be about like an eighty seven. I'll match on that.
All right. Next up, we got effects.
What do you think about the CGI on the bear?
It looked decent. Like some shots looked great. Yeah, some shots looked really good.
But then some shots I'm like, oh, I can definitely tell that bear is not there.
Very much so. I think Peter's death was very obviously CGI.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
The one that stands out to me is when he's when the bears coming out of the shadows and at the ranger station.
Like that was awesome. Yeah, that looked really good.
Honestly, I don't even know if it's like really I think just like for some reason it stood out to me because it looks like like the when the bear like first
crawls out to where the kids see him sees her.
Sorry. For some reason, the way that the bear was like opening its mouth, it looked like there was a there was like something in its mouth or like a hole or some shit like that.
I don't know why. I know that too.
OK, so that scene had an effect on me definitely when it came to the animation on the bear.
Yeah, I mean, it wasn't it definitely wasn't like top notch like blockbuster quality.
But no, but for how little of a budget they had was 30 million, I think, which I guess that's not little.
Yes, 30 to 35 million. So I mean, it's not little.
But for you know, for this kind of movie, that's still pretty good.
I feel that for the most part, the bear did look pretty decent.
Yeah, I mean, not a whole lot to complain about. I mean, but I mean, still wasn't like top notch.
I think this is maybe in the low 80s. Yeah, I can agree with that.
Like, I think I'm at like an 82. I was thinking about it in 81.
So all right. Next up, we got music.
The soundtrack for this wasn't half bad. Yeah, it was as long as that they did play.
Yeah, I don't think it again. It's just very average.
I don't think they dropped a huge budget to get any decent music.
But I'll say it's above average.
They only seven. Or would you say six?
I'm leaning more towards a six, but I could give it a seven.
If you're one, give it that I'm fine with giving it a seven.
All right, let's give it a six then.
OK, all right. Next up, we got costumes, which I mean, these were horrible.
No, I mean, I mean, nothing really stood out, I would say.
Yeah, I mean, I think like Carrie Russell's like tracksuit looking thing or not even tracksuit is like a wet or a sweatsuit.
Like when was this supposed to take place? Like the 80s, the 80s.
I feel like they could have done a little bit better matching the tone.
I agree. Yeah. Yeah. Eighty five.
That's what I will say. O'Shea Jackson, Jr.'s outfits.
It felt more 90s. Yeah, it did.
Like, especially with his like whole, I don't know, and his whole push on like the whole issues and those type of Nikes.
I think they were Nikes.
Yeah, that straight up felt like our 90s, maybe early 2000s, because I'm sorry, no one was obsessed with those kind of shoes in the 80s, or at least in my opinion.
It didn't seem like it. Yeah.
I mean, all the outfits, other outfits, I mean, they worked OK, I guess.
And I mean, nothing too special.
But I mean, the thing is, like, honestly, if no one told me or if I wouldn't have read that this was supposed to take place in the 80s, I would have thought that it was just supposed to take place in our time.
Same here.
The costumes didn't scream that, oh yeah, this is a time, this is a time period piece.
It didn't scream that to me. Yeah.
I mean, which I guess could be in the movie's benefit.
That's fair. Yeah, that's a good point.
Personally, I think I'm at a six when it comes to all the like the costumes.
I will give a bonus point to the bear design, because I think the bear looked incredible.
I think the scarring on the bear really helped with it, how menacing it was.
Yes, I can definitely agree with that. Yeah, I can definitely give you seven.
OK, so with my personal score, overall, like I had a decent enough time, but I just I thought it was just all right.
The the human storylines are just not that great.
They're not compelling.
I really could give most of the time two shits about the human characters.
The acting is good.
It's just the writing for the characters isn't good.
But everything with the bear is great.
Frickin I, but I wish that it had more killing when it comes to a bear hawked up on.
So. Like overall, had a decent time, but like honestly, I don't see myself watching this movie again.
Like, honestly, I'm glad that it was on Peacock, so I didn't have to blind buy this on Blu Ray since it came out today.
So. I'll be I'll go a solid 70 for a movie based around a coked up bear.
It was entertaining.
It had its entertainment value.
It was interesting.
It's a really good shut your brain off movie.
The story was just complete garbage.
I like I wanted I wanted more of the bear.
I wanted more bear attacks.
I wanted more of that stuff and not the the the stupid filler that they ended up giving us.
The cast was decent.
As well as the effects.
I mean, they were adequate and watchable.
There was nothing about this that was completely unwatchable.
My biggest issue with this is that the story was just not as compelling as it could have been.
Or just.
I think ultimately the issue was I think the story was too busy.
And because of how busy it was, it wasn't compelling, which for a movie like this, you don't need it to be compelling.
But I think this is just kind of end of a.
A one and done movie.
I think I'm sitting at like a sixty eight.
Dude, that's exactly what I was thinking, but I was trying to be nice.
Yeah, I mean, it's it's a good one done.
But like this is seriously shut your brain off.
Like I have I have a free evening movie.
Yeah, it's straight up.
Yeah.
I mean, well, that concludes this this breakdown.
So going through the scores real quick, starting off with story, not a very strong start is sitting at a sixty five point five.
The writing had a decent bump sitting at a seventy seven.
Acting had a bump higher than that, sitting at a solid seventy nine character development had or in this case, logic.
The movie followed its own logic fairly well, had a bit of a ninja moment, but.
That ended up giving us an eighty seven.
The effects had a.
Had a decent drop sitting at an eighty one point five.
The music fairly like slightly above average, so we ended up giving it a six.
The costumes we gave a seven, and that is solely because the bear looked really cool.
Probably would have been at a six otherwise.
And then our personal score averaged out to a sixty nine.
So with all of that added up, the final Albros letter grade for cocaine bear has come out to a.
C plus.
Is it bad that I can't want to score lower?
Dude, it's it's been a hot minute since we've done anything in the C range.
That is true. It has been a hot minute.
Yeah, I mean, the last movie that got a C was Strange World.
Damn. OK, everything else has been in the range or a minus range.
So, yeah, it's sitting at a C plus.
Let's find out where exactly that's.
Oh, definitely one of our lower C plus movies. Yes.
Yeah. So out of thirty two C plus movies, it is sitting at 30.
Damn. OK. Yeah. Yeah.
So it is sitting at a seventy six point seven five percent.
Yeah, just barely made it. Yeah.
It just barely cracked it because I think our cut off is seventy five or seventy six is our cut off.
So it just cracked it.
So put it so go in a bar.
So go in the five movies above five movies below and then a full percentage away.
Five movies above it is it ended up below unhinged, which is seventy six point eight seven.
The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard, which is at a seventy six point nine one.
It's below Disenchanted, which is at a seventy seven point zero six.
And then it is below the Boondock Saints, which is at a seventy seven point one two.
That's only four. And then sorry.
And then it's also below The Stranger's Pray At Night, which is at a seventy seven point one eight.
Yeah, I'm OK with that one.
Yeah. And then go in a full percentage above.
We're looking at the babysitter killer queen.
OK. So I mean, I'd agree with that.
Like there's yeah, I would too. Yeah, I wouldn't disagree with any of these.
Go in the opposite direction.
It is sitting above Paws of Fury, The Legend of Hank, which is at a seventy six point six eight.
It is above Stone Cold, which is at a seventy six point five.
It's above My Spy, which is at a seventy five point eight seven.
It is above the twenty twenty two Cheaper by the Dozen, which is at a seventy five point five six.
It is also above The Addams Family, which is at a seventy five point four five.
So, yeah, that is where it ended up.
OK, not bad. Yeah, not bad at all.
Yeah, I mean, it was I think the title lets you know everything you need to know about this movie.
It's true.
So, I mean, it's not a horrible movie, but it is watchable.
Yeah, like we said, probably not one we're going to go back and re-explore anytime soon.
No, I really have no if anything, if I want to see anything from this movie, it'd be the kills.
And I can just go to YouTube and just look up cocaine, bear kills.
So, yeah, pretty much.
Unless you got anything else you want to say? Nope.
OK, I would say that this concludes this episode.
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Next week on the podcast, we'll be breaking down Air, the Ben Affleck directed movie, which I am very excited for.
It's been a while since Ben Affleck directed a movie, so definitely excited to check this one out.
But until then, this has been The All Bros Podcast. I'm Jonathan.
And I'm Caleb. And we will catch you guys next week.
Shuvah-vah!
Deuces!