What is up bros and welcome to the all bros podcast.
I'm Jonathan and I'm Caleb and we are a couple
of bros on a mission to give you guys the most
detailed movie reviews out there with as little
bias as possible. Welcome to the All Bros. This
week on the podcast, I don't really have anything
to talk about. Weekly watch. I mean, we talked
about before we started recording what we've
been watching. Like chumps. Yeah. Well, I do.
Okay. I do have one story really quickly with
this. So me and Sammy went and saw the 30th anniversary
re -release of Toy Story on Sunday. Oh my gosh.
How was that? I mean, it was awesome seeing that
on the big screen. It was great. Like, freaking,
I was smiling the whole time. It was so great
seeing that. I felt like a kid again. What sucked
about seeing that is, so there was this family
in the row behind us, and there was this little
kid dressed as Buzz Lightyear, which, you know
what? That's awesome. I love seeing little kids
getting into Toy Story. That warms my heart.
That makes me happy. What doesn't warm my heart
is when your kid is running up and down where
you're sitting and you're taking pictures of
him with the flash on the whole damn movie. Bitch.
Yeah. That's crazy. like i didn't even know that's
what they were doing um i thought like the the
like light behind us was like the kid was playing
with a toy or something but then sam because
sammy turned a couple of times i think like i
don't know she gave him a dirty look or maybe
she was just like seeing what they were doing
um but yeah she said no they were they were taking
pictures of their son as he was running up and
down that's insane yeah right How old was this
kid? I, uh, he, if I had to guess like two, three.
Okay. So pretty young. Yeah. Uh, was, was the
theater pretty packed? no so like freaking our
row um and then the two rows back from us like
those were pretty packed um and then there was
like only like two people in front of us so um
like it wasn't like no i wasn't super packed
um and i will say i'm like grateful that like
i was in front of them and not in the back of
them because oh my god i feel bad for anybody
that was in the back row because i could i wouldn't
even be able to watch the movie um and like I
maybe over exaggerated a little bit they weren't
doing it the whole damn movie but they did it
enough that it was very noticeable um but like
you know that shit right like I like me and Sammy
tried to block it out as best as I could um I
think maybe I did like tried a little like maybe
did like a little bit better of a job than Sammy
because I because I never turned around to see
what was going on If you're listening to this,
Sammy, I'm sorry to call you out like that. No,
he said that with his full chest. Thanks, bro.
I'm going to get a message from Sammy. That's
not what I did. I don't know what you're talking
about. There are no lies on this podcast. It's
true. It's very true. I was able to block out
as much as I could. Enjoy Toy Story on the big
screen, just smiling ear to ear, just shedding
a little bit of a tear during the iconic moment
of Buzz and Woody. Yeah, Woody saying it to infinity
and beyond towards the ending. I'll fully admit,
shed a happy tear right there because that was
amazing seeing that on the big screen. But yeah,
like, other than that, great experience. It was
incredible seeing it on the big screen. but just
that fricking family, like, God damn it, man.
You got to know when your kids are ready for
that kind of shit. Like I know with 100 % certainty
at this point in Levi's life, he is not ready
to go to a movie theater. Yeah. Unless it's near
his nap time. But that's like it would be a close
call for sure. But he yeah, like even Iris, she
only sits still with the because of the promise
that she gets to go run around after. OK, I see.
That's when I let her go crazy because she'll
so. Because most kids movies have a song that
they play during like the end credits. She's
I told her she's allowed to kind of get up and
go crazy with that song. Yeah, no. That perfectly
makes sense. That's totally fine. And I get it.
It's a kid's movie. But come on. No movie should
you have your child behave like that. No. Not
in the middle of a movie. And for damn sure,
even if I did let my kid do that, I'm not snapping
pictures with a flash on. That's crazy. No, like,
straight up. Oh, man. Oh, my gosh. I would flip
my shit, dude. Yeah, so that was mine and Sammy's
fun experience seeing Toy Story for the first
time in theaters. Damn. Still worth it, though.
Still worth it. I would hope so. No, it was.
Yeah, we were talking about it. I've only been
really watching. shows um a couple movies here
and there but nothing like nothing i i feel is
too worth bringing up like all the movies i've
been watching have been like average and i and
i've just been doing like a lot of re -watches
too um i respect that hey dude like sam like
i told you been re -watching uh minecraft and
then cats yeah Oh, gosh. I rewatched October
Sky. Do you remember that movie? I do. Yeah,
it holds up pretty well. Yeah, okay. Well, that's
good to hear. Yeah, I was watching that. I don't
know why. I wasn't... I think I just needed something
to watch for noise. Because I was at... I was
at work and I was, I was cutting a lot of shit
that takes a really long ass time. Yeah. So I
was just like, I was just sitting there like
to basically twiddling my thumbs. I was like
all my, I was caught up on all of my podcasts
and I was like, man, this sucks. Like I, I was
looking for a new podcast, but then it looked
like I was playing on my phone. So my supervisor
got mad and I was like, screw it. Like I'll just
find a movie or something. So I ran and hid in
the bathroom real quick and was just scrolling
through all the streaming services that aren't
blocked on the work Wi -Fi. And then I was just
like, all right, this one, this one. I just found
random ass movies that seemed okay or ones I'd
seen before. And I was like, all right, cool.
So just a bunch of random ass watches like that.
I don't even remember all the movies. I only
remember like October Sky off the top of my head
because it had been so long since I've seen it.
Yeah. Everything else is just like. Random like
action movies are just like kind of that brainless
shit that I could just kind of like have playing
in the background. All right. Oh, yeah. So for
those of you curious, it's those are pretty much
nothing better to do. like all of them october
sky i'd say is a stream it though hell yeah i'm
glad to hear that one holds up yeah uh but yeah
anyway okay well yeah so i guess there's like
a i guess a quick recap of weekly watch um ish
yeah um but so uh since don't have like anything
really to present um i believe we're gonna play
a couple rounds of uh connect the stars hell
yeah hell yeah all right sweet uh and then after
that uh we'll move on to our headline yeah headliner
i almost said main event god damn it uh headliner
it's like dude we haven't done that in over five
years come on man yeah i know freaking hell After
that, we'll be moving on to our headliner of
the evening, which will be our breakdown of Jurassic
World Rebirth, which I'm pretty sure is our first
Jurassic movie we've broken down on this podcast.
I'm like in the 90 percentile. 90 percent percentile.
I think this is the first one. Let's find out
for sure. that's surprising as hell. It is. Okay.
Well, look at that. So kind of, kind of something
special here. Yeah. A little bit. Oh, you know
what I was thinking? Cause I was, I was sitting
here thinking, I'm like, I'm pretty sure I've
made a logo. We were supposed to do, I think
the OG Jurassic world, but I think something
came up and we weren't allowed. Are we not allowed?
We just ended. I'm not. Oh, OK. All right. Because
I remember making the artwork for it. I just
remember also not using it. Do you still have
that artwork? No. So I'm going to have to say,
damn, just repurpose. Yeah, I know. Freaking
hell. Hate when that happens. Oh, all right.
Well, what do you say we get started then? Let's
do it. All right. Need motivation? Angry Dad
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to everything can be found in our bio. Alright,
so like I said, before we jump into our review
of Jurassic World Rebirth, me and Caleb are going
to play a couple rounds of our favorite game
that sometimes we're good at, sometimes we struggle.
Which is connect the stars. So let's do this.
All right. So for those of you that don't know
the rules, the only real rule that we have is
everything has to be done from memory. We cannot
look anything up until after the fact. So if
if we know the movie, but can't remember the
name of said movie, like we're screwed. Tough
tits. Yeah. And if neither of us know. an actor
or actress well enough to do any of their videography
uh we could also like veto so that's the only
rules that we have but anyway the first star
to connect would be tessa thompson okay easy
yeah and elliot page okay oh that sounds like
a fun one Yeah. There's I think we can do that.
Yeah, I think we could, too. OK, so the the the
hard one is going to be connecting Elliot. Yes.
So who can we connect? So, I mean, like the first
movie that I'm immediately thinking that Elliot
Page is in is Juno. Yeah, so that gives us Michael
Cera. Yes. And then with Tessa Thompson, you
could either do Thor, Men in Black, and that
gives us Chris Hemsworth. Yeah. So can we connect
Chris Hemsworth and Michael Cera to anything?
I'm trying to think. Oh, well, because we also,
with Elliot Page, we got... x -men oh yeah yeah
so that gives us uh x2 or was it's either two
or three i can't remember i'm pretty sure it's
it might be three because i don't think he was
in the second one i don't think let's let's see
x -men the last stand oh okay okay there we go
so let's see x2 nope okay so just the last and
then okay so that gives us a pretty decent chunk
of people yeah uh that tested thompson so it's
basically anyone from the mcu We can connect
to Tessa Thompson. Yeah, that's true. So who
is in who's been in the MCU? Well, Patrick Stewart.
Yeah. Patrick Stewart, who was in Multiverse
of Madness. Are you going to make me type out
the whole freaking thing? Obviously, that's what
I meant. Freaking bastard. Oh, man. Oh, you know
what? Shit. She was in. Tessa Thompson was. Oh,
shit. She played the wife of the guy who plays
Baron Mordo. I forgot. I forgot who's Baron Mordo.
The Doctor Strange's not good friend. Oh, okay.
I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Chidi,
I don't know how to say his name. Yeah, I don't
either. That might be a bad one to do. Because
I couldn't spell his name to save my life. What
else? Well, I mean, we can easily connect those
two through Endgame. Yeah. Is she in Infinity
War? I don't think she was. I think she was only
in Endgame. Just in Endgame? Okay. Yeah. So...
Yeah, Avengers Endgame. And then Benedict. Yeah,
there we go. All superhero movies. Love it. So
we got Tessa Thompson, who was in Avengers Endgame,
alongside Benedict Cumberbatch, who was in Doctor
Strange and the Multiverse of Madness, featuring
Patrick Stewart, who was in X -Men The Last Stand
with Elliot Page. Yeah, I don't think there was
a smaller connection there. Yeah. All right.
Next round. First up, we got Gal Gadot. Okay.
Yeah, we can work with that. And Emily Blunt.
Ooh. I'm pretty sure we can work with that too.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This is going to throw me off
so bad because I always got Emily Blunt and What's
Her Face confused. with each other like the girl
who played cheetah oh uh kristen wigg yeah okay
i'm trying to remember the because i think i
know like an easy one um so i can't remember
the movie that gal gadot was in with dwayne the
rock johnson and ryan reynolds it was in oh uh
red notice or was it red dawn because wasn't
red notice that christmas movie Or maybe it was
red notice. No, that, that was red one. That
was okay. So, okay. Maybe it is red notice. Red
notice. Okay. Okay. And so you can connect, uh,
that has Dwayne, the rock Johnson. And then he
put the rock and then he was in jungle cruise
with Emily blunt. Oh, freaking a dude. All right.
Gosh, that was good. I completely forgot about
Jungle Cruise. I actually don't think I've seen
Jungle Cruise. I haven't either. I just remember
those two. I don't know why. I just remember
that those are the two specific actors in that
movie for some reason. Yeah. Damn, I don't think
it gets much shorter than that. Unless they were
in a freaking movie together. I don't think they
have been. Yeah. Yeah. So just to repeat, Gal
Gadot was in Red Notice with Dwayne Johnson,
who is in Jungle Cruise with Emily Blunt. Bam.
Frickin cake. We're flying through these ones.
Yeah. All right. Next up, Chris Evans. Frickin.
Yeah, that's easy. And Eddie Murphy. OK. Ooh.
I think we can work with that. Yeah. Yeah. We
could definitely work with that. Okay. So who
it's, it's, I think it's going to be more or
less who we can connect Eddie Murphy to. Yes.
Yeah, that's true. Okay. Who's co -star with
Eddie Murphy? Gosh, this one's going to be tough.
No, there's no one. I'm going to go through the
whole cast of Norbert. Well, that's not fair.
He makes up like 50 % of that cast. That's true.
That's like trying to ask who Tyler Perry plays
in a Madea movie. Fair point. Let's see. All
right. No, they're not in any. No, he hasn't
been. Isn't he in a movie like recently with,
I want to say Pete Davidson? Yeah, he was. Just
can't remember the name. It's like the, it starts
with a P. I want to say it's Pole something.
Yeah, man, you got me. It's not the pushover,
is it? okay that was unintentional apparently
chris evans was in a movie called push good to
know the pushover it's not the pullover is it
ah man i just saw it on on prime today too damn
okay what else do we got we got gosh dude what
sucks is like I know the movies, and I know the
actors that might be able to connect, but I don't
remember their names. No, dude, that's fair.
I'm kind of genuinely curious what Push is about.
Yeah, same here. All right, so Eddie Murphy.
So that gives us... Oh, Steve Zahn. And Daddy
Daycare. Yeah, that's who I've been trying to
connect to. Daddy Daycare will give us Steve
Zahn. Steve Zahn, what's he been in? I've been
trying to think if there's any actors in the
Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies that can trace back
to Chris Evans. I can't think of any. What else
has he been in? I know he was in Joyride, but
giving us Paul Walker, that doesn't help. Joyride?
Yeah, have you ever heard of that movie? Great
horror film. Okay. Who's the girl? I don't know.
Okay. They just added an update where you can
get hints off the movies, which we will not be
using. That's cool if they do that. Yeah. Steve's
on. Gosh, the only one that's coming to mind
is freaking Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But I know
that there's other shit. Yeah. I know this doesn't
help because this would only give us shit. Who
played Marty McFly in Back to the Future? Oh.
I feel so bad for forgetting his name. Michael.
Michael J. Fox. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Thank you.
Freaking. Did you ever watch Stuart Little as
a kid? Oh. Yeah. That's a good one. Okay. But.
I don't think that really takes us anywhere.
Yeah. But freaking Steve Zahn was hilarious as
Monty in that movie. Okay. Steve Zahn. Gosh,
you know what's throwing me? Huh? I don't think
he was in this. He might not have been. I know
Chris Evans was for sure. But I'm remembering
a Steve Zahn -esque actor being in this movie.
It is... Freaking hell, I can't remember the
name. What's the name of the movie that he's
in where he's on the ice train? Oh, Snowpiercer?
Yeah. Snowpiercer. Damn, nope. I mean, that gives
us John Hurt and... Oh, shit. What's her name?
The ancient one from Doctor Strange. Is it Tilda
Swinton? Tilda Swinton, yeah. I thought this
one was going to be easier. I know. I thought
it was too. Can you name anyone from Haunted
Mansion? No. I think it was Jennifer Tilly. Jennifer
Tilly? Yeah, that's the only other actor I know
besides Eddie Murphy in that movie. Okay, let's
see. Let's think through other Eddie Murphy roles.
I mean, Shrek is an easy one. I guess it's Cameron
Diaz. And Mike Myers. Mike Myers. John Lithgow.
Antonio Banderas. Antonio Banderas. Gosh, I am
drawn freaking blanks. No, dude, it's time here.
All right. Chris Evans was also in The Losers,
which that one had... Oh, my gosh. What's the...
I'm drawn absolute blanks. I feel like Steve
Zahn and Samuel L. Jackson have done something
together. Or do you think Samuel Jackson's done
anything with Eddie Murphy? Nothing's coming
to mind. Damn. Man, this is so hard. Yeah. Wow.
All right, so start thinking back to old Eddie
Murphy movies. What's the one that he was in
with Dan Aykroyd? Oh. It was like something heist.
It wasn't bank heist, was it? No. Was it money
heist? No. Is it EI? It was money something.
it wasn't easy money was it nope damn eddie murphy's
gonna be like our tough one yeah so i'm just
gonna start throwing out like randos so we got
dr doolittle okay dr doolittle um norbit Shrek.
Shrek 2. Shrek the third. Shrek forever. I was
going to say, want to throw the fourth one in
there too? Forever after. So that gives us Antonio
Banderas. What else has he been in? He's been
in a thousand words. Why am I drawing such a
blank? Freaking hell. I'll just start throwing
in Randall's Antonio Antonio and there is. John
Lithgow. Julie Andrews. Gosh, this is crazy because
he like Chris Evans is the easy one. We just
need to find out who the freaking threat is.
I feel in my soul that Cameron Diaz and Chris
Evans have done something together. Who did the
voice for? For the cat in Lightyear. It was like
the director as well. Oh, was it? Yeah. I thought
it was like, isn't it John Lemon or something?
Lemon. Maybe it was. No, that's probably not
his name. Oh, Kiki Palmer. Was she in any? God
damn it. Man. gosh freaking martin lawrence would
be easier than this one too no seriously like
is there anything we can connect martin lawrence
to um nothing's coming to mind this is some crazy
shit yeah dude i think this is our hardest one
yet probably or just the one that we've struggled
with it might not even be the hardest there's
probably someone listening that's screaming at
us like this is that connection Oh, man. It's
like, well, we've done it. The two people that
are like super far apart in Hollywood. Oh, man.
Jeez. All right. Let's start. Let's start thinking
who we can connect to like Antonio Banderas.
Because we can basically do anyone from Expendables.
Yeah, that's true. Oh, okay. This is not the
way I was wanting to go. The Expendables... Three,
sure. And that gives us Sylvester Stallone. Oh,
I am spelling that horribly. Who was in... Guardians
of the Galaxy. Volume two, who? Star, I guess,
let's just go Chris Pratt. It was in Avengers.
Infinity War. That was not this. A least common
denominator. But hey, we made it. We got to the
end. All right. I'm looking up Eddie Murphy's
freaking IMDb now. This is bullshit. Oh, shit.
The pickup. Oh, that's what it was. Who else
starred beside him and Evan Peters? Not Evan
Peters. Shit, what's his name? uh are you kidding
me what if we would have known the pickup yeah
we could have we could have gotten freaking kiki
palmer who was in light year son of a bitch that
is so so it's the yeah the pickup which had kiki
palmer who was in Lightyear. Damn it. Son of
a bitch. So dumb. If I could just remember the
freaking pickup. Let's see. So we had Coming
to America, which could have given us Arsenio
Hall, which I don't think he would have been
too much help here. Trading Places. It was Trading
Places. That's what he did with Dan Aykroyd.
Oh, okay. Coming to America. Freaking Mulan.
Haunted Mansion. Meet Dave. What would Meet Dave
have given us? Elizabeth Banks. Kevin Hart. Ed
Helms. Pretty decent number of people. Let's
see. Dr. Doolittle. Nutty Professor. But that's
another one where he's like half the cast. Oh,
we were thinking of Tower Heist. Oh, okay. That
one was with Ben Stiller. Matthew Broderick.
Casey Affleck. Michael Peña. damn if we would
have known like if if we could have gotten that
one for uh michael pena we could have gotten
into um connected it through through ant -man
oh yeah damn crazy that one was easily one of
our hardest ones dude seriously Yeah, hardest
for us. Let me clarify. Yeah, we definitely struggled
with that one. Yeah, that's what happens when
we set up rules that end up biting us in the
ass. All right, well, after that fun, what do
you say we jump into the headliner? I say let's
do it. All right, jumping into our headliner
of the evening. Like we said earlier, we will
be doing our breakdown review, whatever you want
to call it, of Jurassic World Rebirth. Whatever
you want to call it. Review, breakdown, you know,
it's the same thing. That's what we call it.
So, Caleb, if your voice can handle it, do you
want to let people know how we break down movies
on this podcast? I would love to. If you are
new to our breakdown system, we have split movies
into eight different categories that we individually
score to come to a final Ol' Bros letter grade.
The eight categories that we score are story,
writing, acting, character development, effects,
music, costumes. And then we give it our own
personal score at the very end. All of those
numbers get magically added up and spit through
our algorithm and give us a letter grade to compare
this movie to others of similar grade. Oh, my
voice couldn't handle it that long. Yeah, I'm
taking stuff that's drying my throat out really
bad. So when I talk, it gets real, real hard
to keep up. I need the moisture in my throat,
and it keeps going away. Yeah, so that's been
fun. Anyway, Albro's letter grade compared this
movie to others of a similar grade, as well as
a ranking that doesn't matter quite as much,
but still fun to see where these movies end up
sitting on our scale. Uh, so with that, if you
have not seen Jurassic world rebirth, this is
kind of a tough one to spoil. Like I'll, I'll
be like completely real. Like this is, this is
one of those movies that can't really be spoiled.
You have to experience it though. Yes, absolutely.
Like to get the full, like weight of everything.
Cause I mean, we can walk you through and we're
going to, everything that happens story wise,
but there's just something that like, like I
said, it needs to be experienced. It's not anything
that's like going to blow your mind, but it's,
it's still worth watching. You can only detail
dinosaurs, either eating someone or people running
away from them so much. Yeah. So, and I think
that, I think this movies were like, if you,
if you're, if you're hesitant about watching
it, Or maybe you're not the biggest Jurassic
Park universe fan. Or just say dinosaurs in general.
If you're not the biggest dinosaur fan, probably
not the movie for you. But if you like them in
any capacity, I think if you like the original
Jurassic Parks, I think this one's worth checking
out. I would agree. Yeah, but with that, Rose
is about to spoil the entire freaking movie for
you in our favorite segment that we like to call
Reading with Rose. Yeah. All right, here we go.
In 2008, InGen is operating in Dinosaur Research
Laboratory on... L .A. St. Hubert in the Atlantic
Ocean. I know I butchered that. Strong start.
Right? Very strong start. The site is used for
genetic experiments including transgenic and
mutated dinosaurs. One of these creations, a
deformed six -limbed tyrannosaur dubbed Distortus
Rex, escapes containment. That's not what they
called it! man wikipedia never lies caleb i i
know but like they didn't even call it that like
i was looking and i was waiting for them to give
it a name but all they had was d rex so dumb
um would it make you feel better if i just said
d rex do you not want me to say this tortoise
rex this is a spoiler alert for like the costumes
and i'm art I think this is more of a, uh, I
don't know. I haven't decided whether I'm where
I'm putting it yet. Yeah. But I would, I would
actually prefer if you called it what it is.
And it's the fricking dime store. Rain core.
All right. I can do that. All right. Dub the
dime store. Rain core escapes containment. It
kills an employee and wreaks havoc, forcing the
personnel to abandon the island. In 2025, most
of Earth's climate has become inhospitable to
sustain the de -extinct dinosaurs. The remaining
animals survive in areas around the equator,
which resemble the Mesozoic climate, making them
no -travel zones. Martin Krebs, an executive
at pharmaceutical company Parker Genix, recruits
Zora Bennett, an ex -military covert operative,
to collaborate with paleontologist Dr. Henry
Loomis on a top -secret mission. Their goal is
to retrieve biomaterial samples from the three
largest remaining prehistoric specimens, which
hold the key to a new heart disease treatment.
In a bar in Suriname, Zora recruits her longtime
friend Duncan Kincaid to lead the expedition.
He brings boat diver LeClerc, mercenary Nina,
and security chief Bobby Atwater. The exhibition
team sets out to L .A. St. Hubert to extract
samples from the aquatic Mosasaurus, terrestrial
Titanosaurus, and avian... Oh my god. I don't
know how to say that goddamn thing. Oh, geez.
Meanwhile, Ruben Delgado is sailing nearby with
his daughters, Isabella and Teresa, before Teresa
leaves for college. Traveling with them is Teresa's
boyfriend, Xavier Dobbs, whom Ruben finds obnoxious.
The family is shipwrecked by the Mosasaurus and
uses a radio to call for help with the expedition
team coming to their rescue. The team soon encounters
the Mosasaurus and extracts a sample from it,
but the creature returns with a group of Spinosaurus
and attacks the ship, killing Bobby. Teresa attempts
to use the radio to call for help, but Martin
panics and shoves her away to protect the mission's
secrecy. Teresa falls overboard after Martin
refuses to help her. Xavier jumps overboard to
rescue her, followed by Ruben and Isabella, who
then separate from the exhibition team. The Mosasaur
forces the ship aground, and Nina is killed on
shore by a Spinosaurus. Zora informs the survivors
that she employed a rescue helicopter to circle
the island in 24 hours. Uh, the team soon encounters
the Mosasaurus and extracts a sample from it,
but the creature returns. Oh, wait, sorry. I
already read that. I'm sorry. Uh, the team locates
a Titanosaurus. He heard in a, in a field and
extracts the second sample because the God damn
it. The quit. The Quetzalcoatlus is a large and
carnivorous animal. The team hopes to avoid issues
by obtaining their final sample from an egg instead.
Zora, Henry, and Leclerc will rappel to each
to reach a nest located in an ancient temple
on the side of a cliff. Apparent Quetzalcoatlus
returns to the nest and devours LeClerc, but
Zora and Henry manage to escape with the sample.
Elsewhere on the island, Ruben commends Xavier
for rescuing Teresa. The family searches for
the InGen complex and encounters various dinosaurs,
including a Mutadon, a mutated raptor slash...
I'm like a pterosaur. I'm a hybrid. I don't know
how the hell to say that. Dude, my buddy JC is
probably just like, Jonathan, how do you not
know how to pronounce these? You don't practice.
And an equilops, which Isabella adopts and names
Dolores. They find a raft, and after surviving
a Tyrannosaurus Rex attack, proceed down a river.
At the complex, the family reunites with the
expedition group. When Teresa denounces Martin,
he holds the others at gunpoint, takes the samples
from Zora, and flees to the helipad alone by
UTV. A pack of mutadons descend on the survivors
who escape through underground tunnels. The rescue
helicopter arrives, but is destroyed by the distortus
wrecks, which then devours Martin. The survivors
reach a locked gate at the end of the tunnel
and see a boat on the other side. Isabella, small
enough to fit through the gate, unlocks it, allowing
the group to load onto the boat while Duncan
diverts the D -Rex using a flare. Zora, Henry,
Ruben, Teresa, Xavier, and Isabella escape, and
Duncan rejoins them after the D -Rex retreats.
With the samples in hand, Zora and Henry agree
to distribute the new medicine without a patent,
making it open source for the entire planet.
hell yeah okay maybe it's just me i don't think
duncan should have survived i think he should
have just died that would i don't know just it
would have been a very noble sacrifice and like
the fact that like he just like appears i'm like
what the fuck like for real it totally ruined
the weight of that whole situation yeah no like
seriously like I get it. It's Mahershala Ali.
I wouldn't want him to die either, but it was
a noble sacrifice. It would have made sense for
the character, but I digress. Yeah. Freaking
bullshit. Yeah. When I saw him, like when I saw
the flare going out, I was like, are you actually
kidding me? You're going to ruin his heroic death
like that? Yeah. That's jacked up. No, dude.
Straight up. Yeah, there there was quite a few
like story wise. There's like there's nothing
about this movie that screams like, oh, my gosh,
like this is a fantastic story or whatever. It's
it's. Yeah, it's basic. No, it is. And I'm. So
my favorite Jurassic Park movie is Jurassic World.
I freaking love that movie. And I think the reason
I do is because you actually get to see the park
fully established. And that is just cool as hell.
Yeah. And then, you know, it goes haywire, of
course. And then, you know, the next two sequels
are focused on the repercussions of that. And
this one as well. Rebirth is kind of like a soft
reboot, but it's not like saying any of the Jurassic
World or Jurassic Park films never happened.
I wouldn't say this is technically a reboot.
This is more like a slightly unattached sequel.
No, that's fair. I mean, I only say a soft reboot
because the characters from the other Jurassic
World movies are never talked about. So they're
kind of like... going in a different direction
with this uh this i'm i'm pretty sure that this
is turning into a new trilogy um you wouldn't
be upset with that no i wouldn't either um and
so like while i did like like the story was like
decent like i had a decent time with it it's
just with jurassic park movies and jurassic world
movies sometimes i struggle getting into them
because I do think dinosaurs are cool, don't
get me wrong, but the whole backstory, understanding
them, trying to get research, trying to get samples,
stuff like that, I don't know. Sometimes that
stuff just doesn't do it for me. Like I said,
the reason Jurassic World worked so well for
me is because you actually got to see the park.
you actually got to see it fully established.
Like it was originally intended, which was so
freaking cool. And so with this one kind of,
I feel this one kind of pulled a, a lost world
kind of thing where you go to an eye, you go
to an Island that not a lot of people know about.
This is where, you know, the, the reject dinosaurs
are where this one, this is where all the mutated
dinosaurs are. And just like, yeah, it can get
interesting it really can um and i will say all
the dinosaurs are there or like they all live
i think that like the dinosaurs have all just
kind of congregated along different islands around
the equator okay like i think that was what they
were i missed that yeah okay i think i don't
think it was designated just like one one zone
that would make sense um But it was, like, the
islands along that equator, there was, like,
a certain, like, radius around them that was,
like, no -go. Yeah. So there were still, like,
routes and stuff that they could travel to, like,
get beyond the equator without being at risk
of, like, dealing with dinosaurs. Okay, all right,
that makes sense. So, yeah, so, like, with the
story in this movie, like, everything that we
got when it was just the exhibition crew, you
know, like... John Jonathan Bailey Scarlett Johansson
Mahershala Ali like when it was those three and
then also their team like um like for the most
part I really enjoyed that story like I especially
when they um when uh and I'm sorry I'm I'm forgetting
her name like the part when Scarlett Johansson's
character is like kind of like at a crosshair
she doesn't know if she wants to Go fully with
what the the the jackass. Yeah, there we go.
The jackass wants or kind of do the right thing
and release these these specimens to the world
where like it can actually help cure health health.
Was it it wasn't cancer, was it? No, it's just
like heart like heart issues. okay meant to like
help against like heart problems yeah so like
you know like her deciding like well do i want
to get paid or do i want to help the world um
and then just you know like also uh jonathan
bailey's uh character story um you know like
how like being able to go on this type of exhibition
is like a dream come true but he still had his
uh his quarrels with it. And you can, you can
see it throughout the movie. And so like everything
with those guys, like that was cool. And, you
know, like seeing them having to dive more into,
to these species of dinosaurs, like that, that,
that was some cool stuff. It's just the other
half of the story with this family and the boyfriend
that when that was on screen, I was bored as
hell. Like, I'm going to be honest. I think I
dozed off like at least once. during during those
scenes you know what makes sense but i'm actually
reversed i cared more about the family than i
did about the excavation really yeah huh okay
interesting yeah like i like listen the boyfriend
in that like whole deal annoying as shit like
he was just like with no other explanation he
was just a freaking asshole and it was it was
annoying like that part where he goes to freaking
take a piss and there's all that shit going on
behind him that was hilarious oh my but it was
also like it was it was cool though yeah it was
super cool and it's just like dude you don't
know how freaking lucky you are seriously like
that shit was crazy i was like i was worried
that they were going to just straight up murder
him like even though i found him annoying i was
like there's no way that they're just gonna freaking
do this to him and so yeah when it came when
the raptor started jumping i was like like i
was i was built up like this what this movie
did well was building tension like if there's
anything that this movie did well it was the
tension building and i will say that that's across
the board even with the team that i didn't like
necessarily care for there it the the the vibe
was like it was very tense yeah and so i think
that worked out in its favor really well it's
just i think when you get down to the nitty -gritty
story it was like kind of hard to care about
It was. I don't know. For them to be like, okay,
our team has basically been torn apart or whatever.
It was odd for them to continue on with the mission,
I felt, when they were at risk of like, oh, shit,
we need to call in an EVAC ASA, please. I think.
I don't know, maybe just because I don't remember
the original Jurassic Park movies that well.
I'm going to be honest. But them still deciding
to pursue with the mission to be like, no, no,
no, we're not going to call it off. We're still
going to go. We're still going to push through.
That didn't really surprise me that much. I'm
like, that kind of seems like something they
would do in a freaking Jurassic Park movie. Fair.
Yeah, it's it's I think that's like what it's
it's truly lacking is like a very memorable story
like this. It's it's going to be the same like
Jurassic Park 2 or I'll say Jurassic World 2.
Like it's Jurassic Park and Jurassic World. I
feel are very memorable because that's just shit
hitting the fan. Yeah. Oh yeah, definitely two
and three. That's when you get into like the,
all right, like the con of convoluted shit. Like
how do we get back to the dinosaurs or how do
we put people back in the dinosaurs? So they
kind of have to come up with a bullshit reason.
And so this kind of the same deal, like they
just kind of had to come up with a reason for
a team to go back. with the dinosaurs yeah so
it's just it's it's odd no that's and like maybe
like i'm wondering like maybe we would feel different
if like both of us like enjoy this franchise
as much as some other people like my buddy jc
because dinosaurs he absolutely loves to death
like he loves this franchise but i do remember
like even him like when we came out of seeing
this movie in theaters um Like he said, yeah,
you know, like I enjoyed that. That was pretty
good. I think I would rank it like below the,
the first Jurassic park, Jurassic world, and
then Jurassic park, um, the lost world. So I
probably put it in like fourth place out of,
uh, how many was there? Seven Jurassic, Jurassic
movies now. Yeah. But like, I think, I think
like the other day we were actually talking about
it and I think it's actually gone lower. Yeah.
I think it's, um, like it's gone to like number
like five or six now. damn yeah um so so like
i'm wondering if like maybe our opinions with
the story might be a little bit different if
we enjoy this franchise as much as others but
like as we stand as like people that like like
we we do get enjoyment out of these movies but
like we're just not like devoted jurassic park
fans yeah um gosh this one's tough for me i'm
probably like my average my like very average
story is typically at like 75 i think i'm sitting
around like even 70 sounds high i think i might
i might be at 69. like i'm not quite cracking
70s with this story yet it i mean it's good it's
watchable it's it's definitely like a shut your
brain off type of movie but i think that like
i'm going to have that issue like at the further
distance i get from this movie i'm kind of going
to forget what it was about yeah no that's fair
um i think i would be in the 70s with this movie
i i think it does deserve that in my opinion
it's it's definitely not that high um i mean
hell honestly i think i would give it just like
exactly a 70 um and like you know like i know
we're supposed to just be reviewing this specific
one but if i'm thinking back of like other jurassic
park movies that i've seen like dominion that
one that story i would put in the 60s absolutely
like that one is just so nostalgia based in my
opinion that it just hurts that story so bad
um and it sucks because you know Like it was
awesome seeing those characters again, but just,
it was a little too much. And so like, I'd probably
be in like fricking the low sixties with that.
And so I feel like this one is like slightly
higher than that. If not, maybe a little bit
higher than fallen kingdom, which fallen kingdom
I'd probably put in the high sixties. So I think
giving a rebirth, just like a solid 70 that like
it. barely makes the 70s but to me the story
is just a little bit better than those two i
think i'm comfortable with that yeah i i don't
know like that with with dominion i've i've heard
that complain a lot that it's very nostalgia
heavy and there's a difference between doing
like fans are like you can never go wrong with
doing fan service like i don't think there's
anything wrong with that it's just the way that
you utilize it Like, if you're just trying to
pull stuff out of your ass and force, like, these
things to happen, like, force nostalgia to happen,
it doesn't feel... Like, you could tell. Like,
it doesn't feel natural. It feels, like, kind
of forced down your throat. Yeah. And I don't
think anyone enjoys that shit. No. But, like,
then you got a movie that's, like, 100 % fan
service done right, like Deadpool and Wolverine.
exactly what i was thinking yeah like that one
is just that like it's it like i'll say this
it does it feels forced in a natural way yes
like because of this like because you are introduced
to this world where a combination of all like
multiversal rejects are you can kind of play
around and be like, all right, let's bring these
guys in. Let's bring these guys in. Like, let's
do this, this and that. But with a story like
Jurassic Park or Jurassic World, if you're relying
too heavily on that, like you have to have a
natural reason for people to come together rather
than them just being like just throwing them
in for shits and giggles. Yeah. So I think that's
that's probably. where like the movies like dominion
like yeah like it would be significantly lower
because that it's forced nostalgia without doing
any of the real work to bring it together naturally
yeah no definitely and here like is like there
wasn't too much um it wasn't very nostalgia heavy
it was just it was a story that made a little
bit of sense like enough for like to justify
them going to seek out these dinosaurs and then
it was like all right cool and then everything
else after that was was adequate yeah yeah it
wasn't like blowing you away or anything but
yeah all right moving on over to writing i put
this in the 70s that's fair yeah yeah i think
um like writing i yeah i would be like a couple
points higher so like i think i'd give writing
a 72 that's actually right where i was sitting
too perfect i i think it was at least for me
like i the the the stuff with the family and
like their conversations were really good um
it was that like the team once they kind of got
or getting a little too sciencey for like that's
where like they started losing me and i was like
i was i think for like like you know like i didn't
understand all the stuff that they were talking
about but i think for the most part like i did
enjoy even when they were talking about all that
uh evolution stuff and all that science stuff
um um i especially liked the writing for jonathan
bailey's character because I think everybody
would be like this, but for him especially, for
how he's devoted his life to learning about these
creatures. He was like a prodigy of not Alan
Grant, but the original guy that created Jurassic
Park. I need to know his name. Wasn't he Dr.
Loomis? I don't know if that was his name. um
it could have been no john hammond that that
was who yeah that was the original creator of
jurassic park okay why am i why does the name
loomis sound so familiar halloween oh that's
right yeah i was sitting here dude i'm like that
whole movie like i was thinking that loomis was
the freaking doctor from the og And if you're
no, dude, you're good. Cause you know what makes
us even perfect. If you're watching this video,
Caleb is wearing a Halloween shirt. Oh my God.
Right. That's even better. The, the one, the
one with the original poster and everything.
Yeah. It's, you know, it'd make it even funnier
if somewhere on here, it had like Dr. Loomis.
It doesn't. It has the, it has the fricking quote.
I shot him six times. Dr. Loomis. Uh, but, um,
yeah, so just, you know, like how he shepherded
John Hammond, like he was, he literally learned
everything that he knows about dinosaurs from
him. So, you know, hearing about that and with
hearing him talk about him to Scarlett Johansson
when they first get introduced and then, you
know, when they go on this exhibition, especially
when they see those, I'm just going to call them
long neck dinosaurs. I'm sorry. I don't know
the name. Um, but when they go to get the sample
from them and he's standing in the grass, just
looking up at them and he touches their, one
of their, uh, legs for the very first time. And
you just, he gets this like overwhelming sense
of joy. Like, I feel like anybody would get that.
Like, especially like seeing like a dinosaur
like that, that, you know, is just going to like,
just leave you alone. Isn't going to like try
to kill you. It was just. just whatever um but
you know like for someone that's you know devoted
their life to um researching these creatures
like i can't imagine how over the over the moon
he was being able to finally see one and touch
one in real life yeah you know what the biggest
freaking bullshit part of like all that was like
i'll say this it happened a lot throughout this
entire movie how these dinosaurs just kind of
appeared out of freaking nowhere yeah that's
yeah that's fair like the like they're walking
through this field that is seemingly empty and
then they like oh wow look and then it's just
a big ass freaking what they call a titanosaur
yeah Comes out of the freaking bushes and is
just like, oh, my gosh. And then they, like,
run a little ways. And then they're like, oh,
my gosh. And they go to, like, touch it. I'm
like, are you shitting me? You tell me that bastard
was hiding in the tall grass? And, like, not
even just those two. A freaking herd of them?
But they constantly did that shit. They freaking
did it with the T -Rex, too. Yeah. She opened
up a freaking inflatable raft, and then the freaking
T -Rex that was asleep just happened to roll
over and was suddenly gone. Bullshit. Yeah. Also,
I have a lot of issues with that scene, too.
The T -Rex. struggling to keep up with people
that are paddling down a river go screw yourself
yeah that was hard to believe yeah like there
was a lot of shit that like i mean we'll talk
about it but that scene in particular that a
lot of like good build -up but also pissed me
off because i'm like are you shitting me So I'm
curious because I feel like that scene and then
the whole Mosasaurus scene on the boat when it's
freaking rocking them and then the – I forget
what dinosaurs come in. I don't think they were
raptors, but he calls on them and they freaking
attack the boat. Out of those two scenes, because
I feel those are the two biggest scenes that
you're just like, okay, yeah, this is the cool
shit that I come to these movies to see. Out
of the two, which had the more problems? Oh my
God. They both had problems. Yeah. Like the,
the little girl that was like hanging off the
side of the ship. And then one of those fricking
like water Raptors come, uh, jumps up. Her legs
are out, but it grabs the fricking metal bars
above her and rips them down instead of grabbing
her. I'm like, are you actually shitting me?
like that angle because it comes up right besides
the boat and so like i i the way that it happened
i like had to sit there and i was like what in
the world like i wish i could have re -watched
it because it like jumped up and like snapped
its its head to the side to grab it and i'm like
how does that make sense just jump forward and
snap freaking idiot like not that i want this
little girl to die but come on done dinosaur
should dinosaur come on yeah for real um but
yeah but like that whole scene like i i think
i had more problems with that than i did the
t -rex okay because the t -rex i think was done
well enough to make up for a lot of that stuff
the the water one was meh because i think there
was a lot of like very convenient shit for the
uh like oh when they when they got oh sorry when
they got on the on the on the shore and then
loomis is still like hauling ass and being like
they're amphibious like i was like oh shit dude
freaking um when they're trying to retrieve the
sample and the freaking uh mosasaurus like bumps
the boat and like scarlett johansson like goes
uh goes upside down and like that's how she like
has to take the shot i'm like of course they're
they want to freaking put scarlett johansson
in that like awesome like action pose and i get
it like you know it looks really cool that's
how she got the shot but like when she like yeah
gets knocked over i was like yeah of course that's
how they want her to get the shot like get a
good shot yeah it felt over the top yeah and
i freaking love that she was given lumas such
a hard time about like oh so you think you're
gonna be able to take this shot when you're strapped
down and there's like 15 foot waves and she missed
the first shot like completely yeah like are
you shitting me at point blank range i'm like
it doesn't seem like that hard of a thing to
do no it doesn't but yeah like just talking about
writing i are like Just wrapping up my thoughts
on that. Like the dialogue wasn't bad. It like
they had their bits, they had their pieces, but
I think overall it wasn't anything like extraordinary.
I would agree. It was, I'll say above, above
where I was putting like the story. So like I
said, a few points above, but yeah, not nothing,
nothing to write home about. Yeah. like there
was no there was no oscar -worthy writing no
yeah which like had some really good actors but
didn't uh do anything great for their careers
i guess in a way like yeah they do them around
like you know like it's like it didn't hurt their
careers but it also didn't do anything for it
yeah like which kind of like i know scarlett
johansson was like super excited to be a part
of this because she's a super she's a big jurassic
park fan so at least she has that that that was
that's cool yeah like it did feel like she was
genuinely enjoying herself so yeah that's really
good yeah um which we can talk about now that
we're going to get into acting uh so going through
this cast list starting off we got scarlett johansson
who plays zora bennett Then we got Jonathan Bailey,
who plays Dr. Henry Loomis. Mahershala Ali, who
plays Duncan Kincaid. Oh, there it is. I swear
I put the picture in. Did it take a second to
show up? Yeah, yeah. Oh. Rupert Friend, who plays
Martin Krebs. Dude, 100%. Yeah, 100%. I thought
this was Orlando Bloom for a hot second. You
know what? That's fair. He could definitely enter
an Orlando Bloom lookalike contest. He would
have a good chance of winning. Yeah, I didn't
know his name off the top of my head, so I kept
referring to him as freaking discount Orlando
Bloom. Then we got Manuel Garcia Rolfo, who plays
Ruben Delgado. um i really like this guy as an
actor he is really good yeah uh i've seen him
a lot in um clips from the lincoln lawyer and
yeah he he he's really good uh then we got luna
blaze who plays theresa delgado but she she felt
familiar i couldn't quite place her though uh
then we got uh adrina miranda who plays isabella
delgado then we got david ayakono who plays xavier
dobbs and that's it so i think we're i have a
feeling our top three looks the same maybe yeah
i like it do you want to say yours first or do
you want me to say mine first i'll go first because
i think i if there's anyone who's I think yours
might be different. I think it's same people,
different ranking. Okay. I am going to give number
one just because he played such a good asshole
to freaking Rupert Friend. I thought he played
his kind of douchey character super well. And
then my number two, I'm giving this Scarlet.
And then my number three. is probably going to
go to Jonathan Bailey. Cause he, I think he threw
like his, he showed off like, uh, his passion
for these dinosaurs really well, like super believable.
And I, I really liked his performance. Wait.
So was that one, two, three or three, two, one.
That was one, two, three. Okay. All right. So.
Okay, yeah, so you're right. Same people, just
different order. So, number one, I would give
to Jonathan Bailey. Had a feeling. Literally
all the reasons that you said. Just, yeah, it
was awesome seeing his passion for dinosaurs
and just how going on this exhibition was like
a... Kind of like an adventure of a lifetime
for him after, you know, after everything that
he learned from John Hammond and shepherding
or, you know, being under his wing. Like, I don't
I don't know if you ever like saw anything from
the original Jurassic Park or if you ever went
to Jurassic World. But just seeing his face,
especially when he actually got to touch a dinosaur,
that was really, really awesome. Number two,
Scarlett Johansson. She was great. For the most
part, I liked her character. I did. Maybe would
have liked a little bit more. Honestly, I think
I would have liked maybe just a little bit more
backstory with her. But overall, I did enjoy
her character quite a bit. And Scarlett Johansson
is amazing in everything she does. And then,
yeah, number three, I would give to Rupert Friend,
who is not a friend of anybody. Cause this guy's
an asshole, but he plays a really good asshole.
And when he finally gets eaten and literally
all that's left is his hand holding the briefcase.
That's like, like I told Caleb that felt as satisfying
as I think he felt the same way as when the kid
gets crushed by the piano and final destination
bloodlines. Oh yeah. A hundred percent. So, yeah,
like, you know, I wish I could have put Mahershala
Ali in the top three, but just like he was great.
But his character just didn't do it for me. Yeah.
Which is unfortunate. Close fourth, though. Oh,
yeah, absolutely. Like, if anything, I'd say
Mahershala and Manuel would be tied for fourth.
I would absolutely agree. The only reason that
he wouldn't be a very obvious fourth is because
of how they kind of ruined his sacrifice. Yeah,
they did. Which really sucks, because it would
have been such a great character moment. And
that could have even maybe pushed him to third,
but nope. whatever yeah i had a feeling like
i i had a really like like a feeling about it
like when you didn't see him get eaten yeah and
i was like oh boy like if they bring him back
i'm not gonna be happy and then that's exactly
what they did uh where are you sitting with your
acting score though just could like I feel that
like, like all the performances are good, but
it's definitely like not the best from everybody.
Cause like, I don't know, like Jonathan Bailey,
like I loved his performance, but like, I can't
decide if like, it's on the levels of like fricking
his Fiero and wicked. Like, I think like, even
like though that was a smaller port part, I feel
he got to have more of a more emotion. in that
character than he did here. And like, same thing
with Scarlett Johansson. Like I've seen her be
in better roles than this. And that's nothing
against her. Like her acting is as good as what
she could give from what character they gave
her. Same thing. It matched the quality of the
movie. That is the perfect way to describe it.
Yeah. That that's perfect. Um, so like, I, I
don't know, like, I think just because like,
I still really enjoyed the performances. Um,
I think acting, I think I'll go in 81. Well,
you know what? I'm just going to go in 80. Yeah.
I think it's an 80. Uh, damn. I am not that high.
I am slightly higher than my story score. I'm
sitting at a 70. Damn, man. Listen, no one brought
their A game to this. No one even brought their
B game to this. Fair enough. This is a tough
one to like moving on over to character development.
I don't think there was a whole lot of growth
here from anyone. No, it's hard to get that in
an action movie. Yeah, we need to come up with
something like specifically for action film.
We do like I mean, because we have it for horror
to make up for the like any lack of character
development. So I mean, could we throw in logic?
I guess you could. Yeah, like. like the the way
that like people get i mean yeah no i guess with
jurassic park movies you could like how the people
like not only how people like react to and like
are um yeah like how they react to dinosaurs
how they run away from dinosaurs but also like
how they like die by dinosaurs yeah so we'll
start doing that when it comes to like action
films like heavy action films like well if there's
like no character development whatsoever then
we'll we'll do what we do with horror and just
talk about like the logic which i have to say
was not up to snuff like there was there was
a lot of stuff that i was calling out like are
you actually kidding me like there's no way no
that's yeah that's fair um like i don't know
like sometimes it's hard to grade that kind of
stuff like because you know like you're not in
that situation but at the same time like none
of us will ever be in this situation that oh
hey there's a dinosaur over there what the hell
am i supposed to do we'll never have to deal
with that thank god um yeah well i mean it's
not necessarily like how we would deal with it
or whatever it's it's more like does it make
sense to do like to make the choices that they
that they made or like different things like
like I'm thinking of when that when the little
girl was was falling off of the boat and then
like that one thing like the water raptor came
and like snapped the bar above her instead of
her legs that were clearly hanging out over the
the boat yeah okay like that didn't make any
sense the the the dinosaurs that were hiding
behind fricking tall grass just to appear. And
they're the world, the largest dinosaurs ever.
Like that does not make sense. One that I'm curious
what your, what your thoughts are is at the opening
when it's a, the fricking candy bar wrapper that
sends. Oh my God. This is so dumb. That's what
sends a freaking everything into lockdown just
because it got caught into the vents. Right.
Or some shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like,
are you kidding me? And so you are in enough
danger where that's second door, which that second
door, what kind of bullshit was that? That they
have to turn a key at the exact same time to
open up the first door. Yeah. Dude, freaking
that reminded me of, um, was it the first Charlie's
angels? Have you seen that one? Yeah. Yeah, like,
how they have to open the door with, like, both,
like, their hands at the same time and then,
like, their freaking, like, eye at the same time.
Just absolutely reminded me of that bullshit.
Yeah. For the first door, that's no. You go,
you enter the first door, like, close it behind
you, lock, like, have it locked. Then you go
to the second door. On separate sides of the
door, you can put your keys in, turn, turn, and
then that opens up, and then you can exit or
leave that door. But that door being open shouldn't
be your only form of security. Yeah, I agree.
Like, just because that second door was slightly
ajar, it, like, it rebooted the whole system?
Are you shitting me? Like, you guys were just
asking to get eaten. Yeah, fair enough. I'm trying
to think of something else. Oh, the freaking
inflatable raft. Explain to me how that makes
sense. You're going to open an inflatable raft,
and you're completely unsure of how loud this
bastard is in front of the sleeping T -Rex? Yeah,
not the brightest idea. Yeah, horse shit. Yeah,
there was a lot of stuff that was just like,
there's no way that would actually happen. Or
there's no way that, like, the freaking, like,
I don't know. Like, I'll give them points for,
like, some of the shit that they did. Like, the
T -Rex swimming. Like, underneath them. Nuts.
Yeah. Like, that shit was cool. But, yeah, it's
just, like, other random shit that they did that
just, like, did not make sense. If I'm opening
an inflatable raft, I have no idea how loud this
bastard's going to be. I'm doing that in the
safety of the freaking dome or the carrying unit.
Yeah. I'll even do it outside that little door.
I'll freaking pop that bastard open, let it inflate,
make sure... that that bastard doesn't wake up
and then i'm gonna scoot my ass like slowly out
of there i'm not open to that bastard right next
to his head and being like oh no he's awake crazy
absolutely crazy i'm trying to think of something
else there's some there's another thing that
like that kind of like what you Kind of like
what you brought up with the Mosasaurus attack.
Like, I agree with you. Like the whole, like
fricking bites the, what the, the Raptor like
bites the bar. Like, what was it? Yeah. Above
the little girl. Right. And so you're just like,
like, what the fuck? But like, I'll fully admit
like that whole scene, like, especially cause
correct me if I'm wrong. Doesn't like the Mosasaurus,
like dive over the boat. Or am I like remembering
this wrong? I don't think it dives over it, but
it does. fly up next to it and kind of rocks
it that's what it is thank you yeah i don't know
why i'm thinking it flies over um but like that
kind of like for how cool that scene was like
kind of like with the trx thing like yeah like
i not gonna it won't like save the score but
like those kind of scenes you're just like okay
yeah this is the kind of stuff that i come to
these movies for like because when dinosaurs
do cool shit like that it's really freaking cool
yeah like it's i don't think it's too hard to
like to make it believable that like shit like
that happens yeah they are like the the big stuff
it's just like the little things that are that
throw me off it's just like i don't know i'm
thinking of like when what's her face Isabella
like went into that uh thing to get the the inflatable
raft and the the freaking uh uh flashlight just
immediately works yeah that was it has a full
charge like same same deal with freaking um uh
Not really your friend jumping in that like that
Jeep. And it just it starts up. Immediately.
Yeah, like that's that's crazy. Like, listen,
if you want to say like, oh, yeah, there's a
generator that turns on powers like this whole
little like village or whatever. I'll buy that.
Like, are there lights that still work? Sure.
Like I can I can buy. All of that. To a certain
degree, I think they lost me when they said,
oh, this thing is attracted to light with the
whatever, the D -Rex. Yeah. I'm going to call
it the Cranium Rex. Yeah, like it's where they're
like, oh, it's attracted to light. Then why hasn't
it already destroyed all of this shit? Yeah,
seriously. Like, that's what's crazy. So, yeah,
there there is a significant amount of flaws
here. Like so much, so I'd probably. It might
be my lowest category. I'm putting this at like
67. There there was too much stuff to let go.
Yeah, man, I'm with you. I'm in the 60s as well.
I think that maybe I'll just be like a point
higher than you at a 68. All right. Moving on
over to effects. I feel this. Yeah. And I feel
usually this is like one of the categories that
these movies always, for the most part, shine
in. I don't know if any of these were practical.
I would be very surprised if any of them were.
that's fair um so like but i feel for like the
most part the cgi on the dinosaurs was pretty
good like i i i feel it's as good as all the
other jurassic world movies um it's just like
in like this would go in i think with um i don't
know if this would go on like costume design
because of like the design of the dinosaur um
it's just like some like the certain hybrids
that they showed. I'm just like, what the fuck
is that? Especially, especially the D -Rex because
like that thing was over all the advertisements.
They had fricking, if you like went to a Walmart,
they had the fricking like huge stand of that
one in the toy section and fricking it would,
thing was barely in the goddamn movie. Yeah.
freaking stupid yeah and that thing 100 a freaking
discount rancor yeah there's actually a thing
i actually like went looking i just searched
d -rex on google and one of the first images
that came up was why does the d the d -rex look
so much like the rancor I'm going to pull up
this window real quick. Hell yeah. Just so people
can see. Dude, that's funny. Can you tell which
is which? I can't. That shit is crazy. Disney
and Lucasfilm should try to sue Universal for
that shit. They might actually get far with it.
Probably, dude. Probably. It's got the biggest...
You don't even see the fingers on the Rancor,
but they look exactly like that. I think the
only difference is the Rancor has a fourth thumb.
It doesn't have these tiny little hands. But
if you put a freaking like little ring through
this, like through the nostrils here. Like you
got a freaking rancor. It's the rancor's long
lost twin. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Absolutely
ridiculous. But when it comes to like the grade,
I will say it did look very good. My issue is
that at times, and it was pretty frequent, they
came off as rubbery. That's fair. Yeah, that
is fair. I'm not docking a ton. I'm still pretty
well into the 80s. I'm probably sitting at an
85 with it, though. like the special effects
were definitely above average but yeah like the
the dinosaurs weren't quite believable enough
for me to be like oh yeah like that's fair like
i don't know for me like for the most part they
were pretty believable i think like the only
one that just like and it's really just design
wise killed me was the d -rex um so like i'm
not definitely not in the 90s but like i think
i am a little bit higher than you so like i think
like effects i give an 88 fair enough all right
moving on over to music i mean you can never
beat the classic jurassic park theme like yeah
when i'm glad that they stuck with that yeah
like when especially because i want to say they
played it when jonathan bailey first and like
everybody uh scenes sees those uh long neck dinosaurs
i'm sorry i can't remember the name Yeah. I'll
tell you this. Chills. No, like seriously. Yeah.
Like whenever you have a scene like that, when
they're just like in awe and you're playing that
classic theme, like, yeah, like you can't, you
can't help, but not only have chills, but just
smile. Cause it's just so iconic. Yeah. I'm at
an eight with, with music. That's exactly what
I was thinking. Cause like, other than that,
like nothing else stood out. yeah like the reason
i'm giving it an eight and like not even like
not a nine or ten is because this isn't an original
score this is one that we've heard before and
they're just reusing it so you don't get points
for reusing something good yeah like maybe they
i mean not the original theme but like maybe
other tracks that they reuse they like remix
them a little bit but like even i didn't even
notice that yeah like there's no other like the
soundtrack or whatever i mean they had the the
song playing while the uh the little village
was all lit up which was kind of cool yeah very
haunting yeah but yeah nothing too impressive
that that way so i i say yeah and a uh moving
on over to costumes And I guess we can incorporate
some character design because there are some
mutant dinosaurs. So there are original dinosaurs
here. I feel like when it comes to the human
costumes, you know, like made sense, like classic,
if you're going on an adventure and exhibition
exhibition, you know, they're, they're a tactile
gear, tactical gear made sense. Everyone had
to point out Jonathan Bailey's slutty glasses.
Which, you know what, looked really good on him.
So, he serves that. Scarlet looked good. Like
I said, Jonathan looked good. Mahershala looked
good. Like, you know, nothing groundbreaking,
but the costumes that they chose for these characters,
they worked. And I did dinosaur designs for the
most part, you know, like looking at these mutant
hybrids, like for the most part, like I dug the
designs. The only one that just really killed
it for me was that D -Rex. And that especially
sucks because that's like the one that they were
hyping up the most. And, you know, they're like,
oh, yeah, this is the big one. and so like i
was hoping that i'd feel the same way that i
did with the indominus rex and jurassic world
like when they finally showcased what that one
looked like i'm like oh shit now that looks freaking
cool that one looked sick yeah but then freaking
when they finally showed how the d -rex looked
i'm like guy just looked yeah like dinosaur just
looks like freaking um It reminded me of Sheen
in that one episode of Jimmy Neutron when like
he he has like way too much like knowledge in
his brain. And so like his head just keeps getting
bigger and bigger. That's what it freaking reminded
me of. Yeah, for real, dude. I was actually thinking
of the what's his face? One of Dory's friends
from Finding Dory. oh yeah that's what i was
thinking i was like okay cool you just grabbed
his head gave it the rancor body and a tail of
a t -rex and called it a day lazy very like give
us something badass no like not something freaking
bolt like i think that was my problem with a
lot of their original dinosaurs they were all
very like bulbous yeah and just like gross looking
and it's just like like i want something that
looks cool like nice and sleek i mean if it's
like a hybrid and like considering that like
you know like this is the place where dinosaurs
that they kind of like they kind of like messed
up on like they didn't know what to do with them
like this is where they threw them so like i
guess it makes sense like not a lot of them were
just you're just like like what the fuck were
they thinking with that you know what fair enough
i did i wasn't even thinking about that I forget
that this is the island of rejects. It's like
the island of misfit toys in the Jurassic Park
universe. Yeah, for real, dude. The island of
misfit dinosaurs. I was not thinking about that.
Damn. That might have upped my score a bit. I'm
cool with that. I think what you were talking
about, human score? like just the humans i'd
be like a heavy five very light six um but throw
in the dinos probably like a very very light
seven i you know what i think i'm gonna actually
be one above you i think i would actually oh
I think that I would actually give this one an
eight because the human costumes, I would give
a, I'd give that, I'd give that like a six, maybe
soft seven, probably, probably really a six.
But I feel just because like, even though like
I didn't love the look of the D -Rex, I thought
that was really like. just like kind of failed
to like live up to the hype that they were giving
it um the fact that you know like the thought
that these are just the reject dinosaurs that
like they they didn't know where else to put
them so they turned this island to the island
of misfit dinosaurs um i feel with that in mind
and then also for the most part besides the d
-rex like i actually did enjoy the designs that
they that they have for these rejects um so i'd
give it just a point higher and you add an eight
fair enough dude like like you said i wish that
the d -rex was in it a bit more like better design
yeah like the design needed to be altered for
sure yeah um but not like i think something that
they could have easily done is maybe show us
like kind of build up the the build the hype
up around this dinosaur Like, show, like, this
is what I would have really liked. Show, like,
had they, like, with the scene with the T -Rex,
like, chasing the family and everything down,
when it got to, like, when they were, like, breaking
through the river and everything, or got through
that point where they kind of escaped the T -Rex,
show the T -Rex, like, kind of going around.
and then like right before it was like starting
to charge or whatever like if you hear the d
-rex roar and then it like see the t -rex stop
and be like yo i'm getting out of here yeah like
and have it turn around and then they like obviously
like go kind of white water rafting get away
from that and so you never really see it but
you can see the effect it has on all the other
dinosaurs like especially the t -rex like the
seeing it seeing the t -rex kind of like oh shit
like scurry away would have scared the shit out
of me like okay what are you afraid of seriously
but i i think that like i think that was the
big problem it was just like what what's the
the hype the hype is what what ruined it because
it was just like like they did pretty good with
it in the beginning like when the first like
scene happened i was like all right sick and
then it's just nothing nothing nothing nothing
nothing and then it's finally at the end it's
like all right we kind of you missed the ball
here yeah you could have been building us up
this whole time yeah so yeah uh yeah i'm sticking
with my with my seven for for that All right,
last up, we got personal score. Who's going?
Dealer's choice. Let's have you go. All right.
Getting right to it. I'm at a 68. This is not
what I... I'm not a big fan of Jurassic Park
in general. I'll watch them. if like there's
really nothing else to do um like i i felt like
once you've seen one you've kind of seen them
all and so this one was nice because it did show
us something a little different and i'll i'll
say this this is probably like my third favorite
like number one being jurassic park two jurassic
world and then funny enough this one so all the
first of the trilogies That's funny. Or if this
gets turned into a trilogy. Has that been confirmed
yet? I don't know if it's been confirmed, actually.
Okay. So if this ends up being a trilogy, it'll
be the first that got my attention. The other
movies I'm a little meh about. um i haven't seen
dominion yet so i i won't say that like for sure
but it's very likely yeah um but yeah i mean
it's not my favorite franchise it's never been
my favorite franchise so it's just it's good
if my wife wants to watch it again eventually
like sure but more than likely not so meh No,
that's fair. I'm the same way as Caleb. The Jurassic
Park films are not my favorite franchise. They
never have been. I didn't see the original Jurassic
Park until a couple weeks before Jurassic World
came out. I never watched any of these as a kid.
Which kind of shocks me because I enjoy dinosaurs,
but I guess I just didn't enjoy them that much.
i didn't enjoy enjoy them enough to be like oh
hey i want to see a movie that's based around
a theme park that has them in it um but i don't
think we were ever the kids that were like super
into dinosaurs like we were in in them as much
as like maybe a normal kid is like it's like
oh wow t -rex oh pterodactyl oh triceratops yeah
i was the kid that got excited for a triceratops
same here Yeah, okay. No wonder we're nerds.
I know. The only amount of hype that I had for
dinosaurs came solely from Power Rangers Dino
Thunder. You know what, dude? That's fair. That
is completely fair. Yeah, it just never fully
attracted me. I really enjoy the first Jurassic
world. Like that one's a lot of fun, but that's
just because like the park is actually fully
established. And that was so fricking cool seeing
that. But just like fallen kingdom, I thought
was just, it was okay. Dominion was just, Dominion
was actually worse than fallen kingdom in my
opinion. And yeah. And then there's this one
that is, it's definitely slightly better than
those last two. but it's not as good as Jurassic
world. It's not as good as Jurassic park. And
so like, it's kind of just like, it was okay.
So like these kinds of movies, especially like
this one, like if, unless you're like super into
dinosaurs and their genealogy and that kind of
stuff, like some, some of these points of these
movies, like it gets boring as hell to you. dude
for real um it's like just get to the dinosaurs
already yeah i know like seriously i want to
see people getting eaten come on hurry the hell
up yeah um so yeah so for me personal score um
i think i'll go i'll just be like a couple points
ahead then caleb i think i did hit the 70s but
like just barely so i think i'm gonna go just
a solid 70. All right, going through these scores
real quick. Starting off with story. We are sitting
at a 69 .5. Writing got a pretty decent bump.
Sitting at a 72. Acting is sitting at a 75. The
character development or what we decided is going
to be like the action logic. One of the lowest
categories sitting at a 67 .5. Yeah. Well, they
should try it harder. Yes, it's true. The highest
category is effects sitting at an 86 .5. The
music is sitting at an 8 out of 10. The costumes
and slash character design or creature design
is sitting at a 7 out of 10. And then our personal
score ended up averaging out to a 69. So with
that, the final All Bros. Letter Grade for Jurassic
World Rebirth has come out to a... A C. Okay.
I like that. I like that, too. Yeah, that's good.
I was afraid it was going to hit a D+. I thought
it was, too. Yeah, so it is sitting at a 75 .56%.
It's not bad. Yeah, so this is actually in a
three -way tie with the 2022 version of Cheaper
by the Dozen and Orion and the Dark. What an
interesting lineup. Right? Wow. Okay. It isn't
our top five of C movies though. Oh, okay. I'll
take that. Yeah. So, um, it's actually technically
tied for third. Oh yeah. So going through, so
you want to hear what it's above or what's below
first. Let's hear above. All right. So this is
sitting above the 2019 Adams family. Yeah, that's
fair. It is above Ant -Man and the Wasp. Okay.
It is above Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker.
Not going to comment. It is above Venom. Wow.
Okay. Yeah. That one's surprising. Yeah. And
it is above Saban's Power Rangers. Oh, man. Yeah.
That one stings a bit. Yeah. Damn. Going the
other direction, it is sitting below the Garfield
movie. Ooh. Yeah. It is below My Spy. All right.
It's below Transformers Rise of the Beasts. Okay.
Which now we're in C plus territory. Okay. It
is below Mufasa, the Lion King. Wow. and it is
below pause of fury the legend of hank damn that
one's hilarious what an interesting ranking all
right yeah this this was a fun one yeah but yeah
definitely an interesting home and i'm not hating
where it's at i'm not either i'm sure people
are yeah probably Let us know. Yeah. Very curious.
Wow. Okay. Well, unless you got anything else
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Anywho, next week we'll be breaking down 2025's
version of The Naked Gun starring Liam Neeson,
which I've already seen. Had a really good time
with it. Pretty damn funny movie. I know Caleb
hasn't seen it yet, so excited to hear his thoughts.
Yeah, I'm pumped. but anyway you can look forward
to that next week until then this has been the
all bros podcast I am Jonathan and I'm Caleb
and we'll catch you guys next time see ya deuces