What is up, bros? I'm Jonathan. And I'm Caleb.
And we're a couple of bros on a mission to give
you guys the most detailed movie reviews out
there with as little bias as possible. Welcome
to the All Bros. This week on the podcast, since
we really don't have a lot to talk about with
weekly watches, Caleb actually came up with a
great idea for a fill -in for that. Yeah, we
are trying something new. Yeah. So Caleb, you
want to like really quickly just talk about that?
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I saw someone on Instagram
play this game that I thought we would be decent
at. And so it's called Connect the Stars. It
was created by these two people, Eric Bai and
Amanda Hum. And all it does is it chooses two.
random actors and you have to find the like a
a route and how those actors connect to each
other so it's kind of like that six degrees to
kevin spacey or not kevin spacey kevin bacon
wrong kevin yeah definitely definitely wrong
kevin yeah where it's like every actor alive
somehow connects to like kevin bacon um and you
can do that within like six shot so it it's it
gives you a a celebrity you pick a movie that
that celebrity's in and then like you can choose
a different actor from that movie and then you
have to find the common thread so like for example
if you wanted to do it like freaking play this
on easy mode and you did like matt damon and
like george clooney you could just say oceans
11 oceans 11 is the movie that connects those
those two actors together yeah Yeah. And to give
us a bit of a challenge, I say we just let it
do it for us. Like choose. I choose the. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm cool. Yeah. So let's do that. So the
first actor, Jackie Chan. OK. The second one,
Jamie Foxx. Who? OK. So you can just name a movie
that either actor's been in, and it'll connect
the two. All right. Rush Hour. Rush Hour? Yeah.
Okay. And then I'm assuming you're going to try
and connect him to Chris Tucker? Or is there
a different actor in there? Yeah. I don't know.
What do you think? I'm trying to think. Has Cameron
Diaz been in a movie with Jackie Chan? Has she?
I don't know if she has. Yeah. As I said, the
only movies that are coming to mind with Jackie
Chan in it are the Rush Hour films and the Karate
Kid remake. That's literally all that's coming
to my mind right now. Yeah. Okay, so can we connect
Will Smith to Jamie Foxx? I'm trying to think.
Oh, because Will Smith might be a good one, because
if we can do the Karate Kid and then do. Oh,
shit. What's his name? Jaden Smith. Jaden Smith.
And he was in. Is it 47? No. What's that movie
that he was in with with Will? Oh, Pursuit of
Happiness. I guess you could do that. Oh, OK.
Love that movie. Yes. and then we can bring in
Will Smith. Oh, God. This is tough, dude. Yeah,
seriously. When has Jamie Foxx worked with Will
Smith or been involved with him? Shit, this is
a tough one. Okay, who has Jamie Foxx worked
with? I'm thinking of... the guys in the horrible
bosses films. So like, uh, Jason Sudeikis, Jason
Bateman and Charlie day. But I don't know if
those three connect to Will Smith. Okay. All
right. Horrible bosses. Uh, Ooh. Okay. I think
I got it. I think I got it. Uh, Jason Bateman
who was in Hancock. Oh yeah. Nice bro. Nice.
Yeah, it freaking took us a second and a half.
Dude, that was a good final call. I love it.
Yeah, I had to see the faces, dude, because I
was like... Obviously, I know the name and everything,
but just seeing the faces. Damn. That was good.
Yeah, that was really good. Want to try another
one? Yeah, let's do it. All right, let's see.
Round two. We got Dustin... Oh, shit. Oh, man.
All we know him for, like, Meet the Fockers.
And Brad Pitt. God. Okay. Dustin Hoffman. Okay,
what has Dustin Hoffman been in? I swear, what
was it? A movie with Tom Hanks. Was it called
Rain Man? Rain Man? Yeah. Oh, that was Tom Cruise.
Tom Cruise, my bad. Okay, so let's pull Tom Cruise
out of there. So can we connect Tom Cruise to
Brad Pitt? I'm sure there's a way. Oh, I am drawn.
Tom Cruise has acted with everyone, I feel. Yeah.
Yeah. He's definitely been around when it comes
to co -stars. Yeah. Okay. Has he done anything?
I know Tom Cruise has. Has Brad Pitt done anything?
with like robert downey or jack black or ben
stiller uh i don't think so no yeah like the
only the only like actor that's like coming to
mind that like has worked with um oh my god i
just forgot his name dustin hoffman who is uh
tom cruise no uh the other one oh brad pitt Brad
Pitt, thank you. Wow. Leonardo DiCaprio, but
he's not here. Who else? Wait, what movie did
Dustin Hoffman and Leo do? Oh, no, sorry. I was
thinking of Leo and Brad Pitt. Oh, okay. Oh,
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? Yeah. Okay. Once
Upon a Time in Hollywood. Okay. So that gives
us Leo to work with and Margot Robbie and anyone
else that we can think of that was in that movie.
Yeah. Who else is, I'm trying to think of like
other like stars that were in mission, uh, not
mission impossible. Top gun Maverick that like
have maybe worked with any of these other people.
Oh, what is his name? Oh, who are you thinking
of? I cannot remember his name. Damn it. Cause
he was in tag as well. He's like one of the main
guys. Okay, who was in that? That was Ed Helms.
It wasn't him. Jeremy Renner. No. Are you talking
about the guy that was in New Girl? I think so.
Oh, he was in Spider -Man. Oh, no, not him. Oh,
okay. You're thinking of... Oh, shit. This is
hard because it feels like a test and I'm horrible
at tests. Dude, same. I don't know how the hell
I made it through school. Yeah, dude, I had to
bank on just assignments being worth enough to
pass. Oh, fuck. What is his name? No. You're
talking about the guy that played the coach in
Spider -Man? The guy that always put him in detention?
No, not him. No. Do you remember the Mean Girls
musical that came out last year? Yeah. Okay.
Do you remember the gym teacher that taught sex
ed? I just can't remember his name. Tina Fey
was. I know she was in that. Dude, when I find
out his name, I'm going to kick myself in the
ass. I don't know. is there a way to like can
we okay i like brad pitts worked with damn near
every female actress in the goddamn world like
true has he worked with like cameron diaz before
or like in one that you could think of because
i'm thinking like if we if we tie night and day
oh yeah um okay i'm trying to think of like big
names i know he's worked with like george clooney
yeah which is like And then Matt Damon has been
another big one. We could technically get...
I'm trying to think who his wife was in World
War Z. Oh, let's see. Damn, that sucks. Son of
a bitch. I don't want to use a hint. I thought
the poster would give us a little cheat sheet.
Because it's done that a couple times. I'm trying
to think. What's Cameron Diaz been? been in i
remember she's from the mask so we got i mean
there there's jim carrey right there uh charlie's
angels so that gives us lucy lou and drew barrymore
uh going back to jamie fox none of these people
are he's not he hasn't worked with him right
because since she was in um annie jamie fox was
in that as well okay i mean so can you connect
uh can you connect jamie fox to It's a Brad Pitt.
I'm trying to think. They've had to have been
in a movie together, right? You would think.
Brad Pitt wasn't in Django Unchained, right?
I don't think so. No. Django was Christoph Waltz.
Oh, shit. Christoph Waltz from Django. What do
you mean? Django Unchained. And then we got Christoph
Waltz. if I can spell. And then they were in
Inglourious Bastards together. Oh, yeah. Boom.
Bam. That was a bit of a walk. Yeah, that was.
But hey, we did it. Yeah, there has to be something
else. There has to be something else that Tom
Cruise and freaking Brad Pitt have been in. Okay,
I'm looking up what that guy's name was really
quickly. I was thinking that was in Top Gun Maverick
and Tag. oh my gosh we could have connected tom
cruise and brad pitt in interview with a vampire
oh son of a i've never seen that movie john ham
that's what i was thinking of oh okay i wonder
if there's like a dustin hoffman brad pitt movie
oh my god there is one what sleep i've heard
of that yeah let's see if that one oh my gosh
yep Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Yeah, that
directly ties into. I mean, hey, it took us a
while, but we did it. We did it. No shit. I mean,
not bad, though. No, not bad at all. What do
you say? One more? Yeah, let's do it. All right.
Ryan Gosling and Jonah Hill. Ooh, okay. Ooh,
that sounds like a good one. Yeah. Ooh. okay
okay i got i got one uh oh shit what was that
that one easy a the one with uh emma stone oh
yeah oh yeah and then la la land yeah yeah all
right la la land then emma stone and she was
in easy a which jonah hill was in i'm Wasn't
he? Oh, no. Uh, but he was in, uh, they were
both in, uh, super bad. Oh, that might be the
one I'm thinking of. Ah, there we go. Yeah. Yeah.
Sweet. That one is pretty good. We're on it.
We are on it. This is a fun game. This is, yeah,
no, I, I love this idea of doing this. If we
don't have anything for weekly watch, I love
it. Yeah, that's cool. Anyway, Thank you to the
people that created this. Yeah, this is a freaking
blast. Yeah, I'll be sure to credit them in the
episode description, especially whenever we use
it. Hell yeah. Well, so since we did that, which
is our replacement segment for Weekly Watch,
like I said, me and Caleb don't have anything
to talk about with that. Now we will be covering
our headliner of the episode, which will be our
breakdown, finally, of Nosferatu. Hell yes. So
what do you say we get into it, Caleb? I say
let's do it. Need motivation? Angry Dad Podcast.
Trying to jumpstart your life? Angry Dad Podcast.
You want help getting off the couch? Angry Dad
Podcast. You need a verbal kick in the ass? Angry
Dad Podcast. You want to hear from somebody who's
been through it all? Angry Dad Podcast. I am
here for you. You can find me on all podcast
platforms. Alright, so getting down to the headliner
of the evening. Caleb, do you want to let people
know how we break down movies on this podcast?
I would love to. If you are new to our breakdown
system, we have split movies into eight different
categories that we individually scored to come
to a final All Bros letter grade. The eight categories
that we score are story, writing, acting, character
development, effects, music, costumes, and then
we give our own personal score at the very end.
All of those numbers get magically added up and
spit through our algorithm and give us a letter
grade to compare this movie to others of a similar
grade. Was this horror enough to change character
development to logic? I don't know. What do you
think? I'm personally saying no, because it wasn't
quite enough, but it it spoiler alert. It's going
to take a bit of a dip because character growth
was virtually non -existent. Yes, I agree. Yeah.
So, okay. We'll, we'll leave character development
as it is. Okay. But yeah. So if you have not
seen Nosferatu, you're probably fine. Well, okay.
You know what? If you loved this movie, that's
great. Like I love that for you. Like me and
Caleb did not hate this movie. Like I promise
you, we did not. I will say though, before, you
know, I read the synopsis. Caleb, have you heard
what the director of this movie said when it
came to us millennials? Oh, no. No. No, it's
good. No, it's a good thing. He thanked Steven
Hillenburg and the team of SpongeBob SquarePants
for introducing millennials to the character
of Nosferatu in that one episode, the hash slinging
slasher. um because you know nosferatu turning
the lights on and off because he says i don't
think this movie would have done as well as it
did if it weren't for those those uh millennials
showing up just to actually see who nosferatu
is oh my hell i completely forgot about that
episode but i know what one you're talking about
that's hilarious right oh man that's fantastic
right yeah I love that. That's awesome. All right.
Well, so like, like Caleb said, if you haven't
seen Nosferatu, you're okay. Like I said, we
didn't hate it. We enjoyed it. But if you do
still plan on seeing it, I'm about to spoil the
entire plot for you. So you have been warned.
Yeah. And our favorite segment that we like to
call reading with Rose. Yeah. In the early 1800s,
a young girl named Ellen pleads for a supernatural
being to ease her loneliness. Her cries awaken
a mysterious creature who makes her pledge herself
to him eternally and seduces her. In 1838, Ellen
has married Thomas Hutter, and the couple live
in the German town of Wisberg. Thomas accepts
a lucrative commission from his employer, Ernoch,
to sell the decrepit Grunewald. Yeah, I think
it's Grunewald. Manor to the reclusive Count
Orlok. Ellen, disturbed by a pleasurable dream
of marrying death, begs Thomas to stay to no
avail. He leaves her in the care of his wealthy
friend Friedrich, Friedrich Harding, and his
wife Anna. along with their two young daughters,
Clara and Louise. Arriving at the Carpathians
in Transylvania, Thomas is surrounded by the
local peasantry and seemingly shunned for associating
with Orlok. He manages to secure a night at the
inn by paying twice the rate and is warned by
an old woman not to visit Orlok. That night,
he witnesses a group of Roma exhuming... and
impaling an alleged vampire's corpse with a stake,
making the corpse expel blood. The following
morning, he finds the hamlet deserted and his
horse gone. He continues on foot until an unmanned
carriage carries him to Orlok's castle. Upon
their meeting, the strange and menacing Orlok
forces Thomas to complete the property sale.
Orlok demonstrates preternatural abilities that
unsettle Thomas. When he accidentally cuts himself
during dinner, he blacks out and awakens to find
a bite mark on his chest. The following night,
Orlok demands Thomas' locket containing a lock
of Ellen's hair and does not give it back. He
then coerces Thomas into signing a document written
in in a cult script which orlock implies is the
contract for selling the manor thomas becoming
increasingly sick and fearful demands to leave
but orlock rebuffs him and demands he remain
and recover before departing After awakening
to find yet more bite marks on his chest, Thomas
attempts to escape the castle and instead ends
up in a crypt where he finds the Count asleep
in a coffin, his body naked and decayed. Yeah,
we're going to get to that with costumes. Got
a fun behind the scenes story with that. He attacks
him with a pickaxe, but Orlok awakens and pursues
Thomas. Thomas escapes Orlok and his wolves by
falling into a river beneath the castle from
which he is recovered and cared for by Eastern
Orthodox nuns at a nearby church. They explain
that Orlok was a Solomonar who became a vampire
after making a pact with the devil himself. Meanwhile,
Orlok sets sail for Wisberg inside his coffin
on a ship with plague -carrying rats, killing
the crew directly. the voyage. Dr. Wilhelm Severs
unable to treat Ellen's frequent sleepwalking
and seizures consults with his former mentor,
Albin Eberhard von Franz, a Swiss scientist ostracized
for his occult beliefs. Von Franz believes Ellen
is under the spell of a demonic, plague -bearing
vampire called the Nosferatu. Nock is institutionalized
after killing and eating sheep raw. Sieves and
von Franz search Nock's office, believing he
serves the Nosferatu, who they discover is Orlok.
Thomas returns to Wisberg as Orlok's plague ravages
the populace. Nock escapes, killing a porter,
and escorts Orlok to Grunewald Manor. Orlok appears
to Ellen and confesses that, while he is incapable
of love, her pledge has intertwined their destinies
and made his desire to possess her insatiable.
The document he tricked Thomas into signing is
revealed to void the Hudders' marriage. Knowing
that his bond with Ellen cannot be sustained
by force, Orlok says that she must willingly
submit to him within three nights, else he will
kill Thomas and allow the plague to consume Wisberg.
Ellen later has troubled sex with Thomas after
confessing her past with Orlok. Orlok retaliates
by killing Anna and her children. Yeah, that
scene was fucked up. Damn. Bro. I was not sure
that the movie was going to go that far. Yeah,
dude. Yeah, when he walks into the room and you
see Orlok just sucking the blood out of the last
daughter, my mouth dropped. yeah oh my god dude
i was just like oh okay like yes i i figured
like that they were he was going to go after
the daughters i thought that it was going to
be like he busts in the room finds him dead and
then that was that i didn't expect him to be
like he like snapped one of their necks didn't
he uh it kind of did look like that yeah that's
what i thought but he was just like holding it
and then he just dropped some and i'm like what
was that Also, freaking, they definitely wanted
to make sure that you heard the gulping when
he was drinking the blood. I was like, okay,
this is kind of making me feel a little uncomfortable.
Yeah, this is making me sick in my stomach, dude.
I was eating when I was watching this. Oh, shit,
dude. Yeah, I couldn't finish my meal. I'm sorry,
man. I was just like, no, this is too much. I'm
good. Dude, I started, so this is... this is
what's messed up i so i started the movie and
and brielle came out to like she was making dinner
like after it was like super late uh so she came
out when she was done brought me brought me a
plate and i started eating and it was that scene
like i started eating at that scene where those
freaking villagers like like unbury a vampire
and stab it and it's just and i was like oh yeah
i was like oh god oh man dude freaking that reminds
me just just really quickly it reminds me uh
when saw 4 came out me and my parents made the
horrible decision of eating at the beginning
of that movie i think we're eating spaghetti
eating at the beginning of that movie when they're
doing the autopsy of john kramer that was yeah
that was that was not a good idea on our part
oh oh no yeah oh man okay no thank you all right
uh driven mad with grief friedrich dies from
the plague while violating his wife's corpse
um gross yeah yeah i'll definitely get into like
with the writing i got some uh things to say
about some of the dialogue that happens in this
movie dude for real Von Franz research suggests
that the Nosferatu can be destroyed by a fair
maiden's willing sacrifice. Knowing only she
can stop the plague, Ellen conspires with Von
Franz to keep Thomas away. Excuse me. Thomas,
Von Franz, and Sievers go to Grunewald Manor
where they accidentally kill Nock after finding
him sleeping in Orlok's coffin. Realizing Von
Franz's deception, Thomas rushes back to save
Ellen as Von Franz destroys the vault. Ellen
summons Orlok to her bedroom and repludges herself
to him, allowing him to feed on her until sunrise
when the sunlight kills him. Thomas returns and
holds Ellen's hand as she dies, while Von Franz
confirms that her sacrifice has freed them from
the plague of Nosferatu. The end. The end. This
was... I've heard multiple people explain this
movie. The best explanation I've heard is that
this movie is just so unnecessarily horny. Oh,
really? That's fair. Yeah, like how you agreed
and I brought up with the freaking, with like
the gulping sound that you get every single time
that Orlok freaking is drinking someone's blood.
I'm like, okay, I get it. Like, he's enjoying
this. Yeah. yeah too much disgusting but the
story here dude was i mean this is tough because
it's it was it was very very dense like i feel
the movie itself was but it like it followed
this like the story itself was was good like
i would say it wasn't it wasn't too much in like
trying to get into the lore of vampires or anything.
It was just showing off the creepiness and like
kind of the beginning and the end of the whole
Nosferatu thing. Yeah. Like, and it, it pasted
itself fairly well. Um, the only thing I felt
went on a little long is when they were trying
to deal with, uh, what's her face, Emma or Ella.
Yeah. Oh yeah. When she was having her fricking
like freak outs at night. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. I can agree with that. Yeah. Other than
that, pretty good. Like if you followed the story,
well, you, you did. I feel that this movie does
a pretty good job at building up tension as well,
because I feel that scene when what's the husband's
name. uh thomas uh when he first uh gets to orlok's
castle and just how uncomfortable he feels and
um like throughout the whole stay he's completely
uncomfortable and how like he keeps calling him
um sir but then what does he tell him to call
him is it master or lord lord lord yeah um yeah
just like that that whole scene I felt like so
uncomfortable, but like in the best way possible
because it was so good at setting up the tension.
Dude, it did so well. And you could see like
this has everything to say about Nicholas Holt
as an actor, too, which we will be getting into.
But it's just the horror on his face as all this
supernatural shit was happening around him. like
the way that he's sitting at the table and he's
like oh no i'm good and he's like sitting at
the table he's at the end and then suddenly he's
behind him and he's like here and i'm like dude
straight up like seriously um yeah the way that
they um set up the whole nosferatu tale and um
oh my god i just said his name um thomas uh no
uh the um nosferatu buzz actual orlock god how
do i keep reading that name just like seeing
where you know like where he's like you know
like first like talked about um between um thomas
and his boss uh i'm sorry i'm so bad with names
with this movie dude this movie like i said was
very dense on the names yeah uh like when they
first uh what was his name um oh knock uh air
knock when uh he's talking to his boss um air
knock like oh you know like um orlock wants to
uh buy this manor in our town but he wants you
to come to his um property and have the paper
signed there instead of him signing them here
Um, and like, like already you're just like,
okay, that's, that's a little creepy. Like, okay.
Um, so I feel like they do a really good job
at like introducing the character of, uh, of
Orlok and, um, and just how it just builds from
there. Um, and just, yeah, like I said, this,
this movie is so good at setting up tension.
Uh, what we see, um, uh, what was the main character
girl's name? Ellen. ellen thank you um like the
way that what we see her go through like is like
insane and i'll get to this with like writing
but what she says about like death and like how
she like what she sees in her vision i'm just
like and there's one line that i'm gonna try
to and i'll bring it up in writing that i was
just like god damn like um it's not wrong um
but yeah just just watching her story um what
literally what happens to her just because she
calls to this demon um what her husband has to
go through what um friedrich and emma have to
go through um their daughter their uh their daughters
just like yeah like it's it's um like yeah you
know like it like caleb brought up earlier it's
very unnecessarily horny um throughout it definitely
didn't need these uh loud gulps when uh orlock
was drinking the blood um but when i or the freaking
oh dude like the opening too when she's like
laying in bed and then she starts like moaning
i'm just like i'm gonna turn this down a little
bit i'm i was out i'm outside in a shop and the
the damn thing echoes so i'm just like oh god
people are gonna think i'm watching porn in here
dude did you have to turn it down for that one
scene when freaking thomas starts having sex
with um yep her i sure did okay yeah i'm gonna
bring that scene up with writing because like
she started screaming i was like oh my god oh
yeah but this is a bit much a little bit but
no overall the story like like the director said
you know he thanks Hillenburg and the Spongebob
team for introducing especially our generation
to the character of Nosferatu and you know considering
that I didn't exactly I didn't know literally
anything about Nosferatu until this movie except
for him and Spongebob so how they portray how
they portrayed his story in here the way it was
told like I I liked it. I thought they did a
good job from start to finish. Yeah. It feels
like a very classic vampire tale. It does. Yeah,
absolutely. Yeah. Which I mean, I've read Dracula
before and other like vampire based books, like
not fricking Twilight or some shit like real
vampires. Um, what? Those aren't real vampires.
I know that's such an odd statement to say. yeah
it's such an odd statement but yeah i i felt
like the the flow was good it wasn't too boring
um i mean it definitely got there at some points
but it was just it was an odd one and kind of
yeah fun to watch yeah definitely so i think
with story i'm probably sitting 82. i think i'm
just gonna be just a couple points ahead of you
in 84. totally fair uh writing on the other hand
very good so but yes kind of really good yeah
because there is a part where um ellen right
yeah no ellen okay um where she cheat cheat ellen
thank you um where she's talking to thomas about
her or no no she's not talking to thomas about
it um i think she's talking to the doctor Yeah,
I think it's the doctor or maybe it's Willem
Dafoe's character. But she literally says, does
she says something like, does evil live in you
or does it just overtake you or something like
that? Like the like I'm butchering the line.
I know I am. But like I'm trying to imply like
what she the gist that she was getting off of.
on it um so like she was kind of like just saying
like is evil like born inside of us or or do
we bring that evil into us like or is that evil
like given to us and that line i'm just like
that's some like dense deep right there yeah
um i just looked it up it is does evil come from
within us or from beyond that thank you thank
you Yes, that line favorite line in the movie
because so many levels, so many levels like incredibly
written line because it really makes you think.
Yeah, I'm looking through the the quotes on IMDb.
There's do they have? Yeah, there's a there's
a lot on here. Like there's a like the disc or
the. yeah the the conversation between ellen
and orlok where like was it went freaking hard
dude where she says you are deceiver and he says
you deceive yourself it's like i was but an instant
child and you thought that i would not return
like and it's like you cannot love i cannot yet
i can or yet i cannot be sated without you Then
Orlox says, remember how once we were a moment,
remember? And Ellen's like, I abhor you. And
he says, you are false. Yeah, it's just, I don't
know. Let's see. I'm trying to think of some
other ones. I'm trying to think of them. Willem
Dafoe was given some damn good dialogue. Oh,
dude. His dialogue in this, easily on the same
level. as as green goblin yeah straight up i
i i don't know about you but i think i liked
his performance here better than his performance
in um oh what was that movie with emma stone
that he was in oh uh uh pretty girl not pretty
girl poor poor things what the hell that's what
that was not the right movie oh that was great
uh but yeah like i think i enjoyed his performance
here more than uh in that one um like small and
smaller role but like he made up for it for how
incredible not only his performance was but his
dialogue um but do they mention in the the the
quotes um the what uh ellen screams at thomas
when he's having sex with her like By chance,
I have not come across that one. OK, I can't
remember. She's literally just like, please me
more than he ever has or some shit like that.
I'm just like, OK, all right, we're going to
turn this down a little bit because my mother
is in the next room. Yeah, I'm like going through
some of like these quotes like from from Willem
Dafoe's character. It's just. if we are to tame
darkness we must first face that it exists like
after everyone's trying to deny like everything
like dude he his dialogue was so freaking sick
yeah it was Like, I love this one that I just
saw where he says, I have seen things in this
world that would make Isaac Newton crawl back
into his mother's womb. We are not so enlightened
as we are blinded by the gaseous light of science.
I have wrestled with the devil as Jacob wrestled
the angel in Penuel, and I tell you that if we
are to tame darkness, we must first face that
it exists. Like, that's just hardcore, dude.
Yeah, dude, seriously. and his delivery dude
was sick like i i loved every freaking second
of this like i it was i'm not quite in the 90s
but i'm i'm damn close like i'm i'm jumping up
to like 88 it was so good so i'm gonna match
you with that but i just found yeah here it is
so i found the quote so yeah like i said i'm
i'm matching caleb like absolutely 88 the writing
is that good But here is the quote in its entirety.
So Ellen, Ellen is kneeling, begging and clinging
to Thomas's knee. Suddenly she looks at him lavish
lavishly. you could never please me as he could
thomas becomes enraged picks her up in his arms
and carries her to the carries her to bed ellen
yes take me please please they begin to have
intercourse she moans loudly ellen yes kiss me
kiss my heart my heart let him see let him see
our love yeah it's like good lord like this feels
like i shouldn't be watching it almost made you
feel uncomfortable a little bit Yeah, I did block
that scene out of my brain, but yeah. I'm sorry
that I just brought it back up. Yeah, vivid.
The writing here, freaking killer. It is so,
like I said, it's very dense. If you are not
super familiar with the old English, it kind
of can get hard to follow. Like a lot of the
words, like there were a lot of words that were
being used that I was just like, okay, I'm just
going to use context clues for that. Cause I
was like, I was Googling like every like five
minutes that felt at least I was like, okay,
what the hell does that mean? Yeah. Yeah. I had
to rewind quite a few times just to make sure
that I understood that line properly, even with
the subtitles on. Yeah, subtitles didn't help
for shit. No, they did not. Yeah, the only thing
subtitles helped with was spelling. Yeah, straight
up. All right, next up we got acting. Going through
this cast list. First up, we got Lily Rose Depp,
who plays Ellen Hutter. Is this Johnny Depp's
daughter? I think so. Like, Depp is not a super
common name. Hold on. Yeah. Yeah. Her. Her parents
are Johnny Depp and Vanessa Perry. Oh, okay.
Which, who is that? A French singer, model, and
actress. Okay. Okay, cool. Yeah. Cool, cool.
All right, yeah, so we got Lily Rose Depp, who
played Ellen Hutter. We got Nicholas Holt, who
plays Thomas Hutter. Aaron Taylor Johnson, who
plays Friedrich Harding. Emma Corrin, who plays
Anna Harding. I did not realize that was her.
I didn't either. Yeah. And we just saw her. Yeah.
Just saw her in Deadpool and Wolverine. Yeah.
We got Bill Skarsgård, who plays Count Orlok.
Willem Dafoe plays Professor Albin Eberhardt
von Franz. We got Ralph Innocent, who plays Dr.
Wilhelm Sievers. Bro, you know who he reminds
me of? Oh, freaking hell. I keep forgetting his
name. I forgot it when I brought this up to Buriel,
too. He reminds me of the guy who plays Snape.
Oh. Alan Rickman. Oh, my God. How could I forget
his name? Yeah. I felt like this dude. Yeah.
Dude, if they want to recast a freaking identical
Professor Snape for that Harry Potter series,
which I know they're not going to do. uh he'd
be top choice yeah he's definitely got the every
time he talked i was like bro like i was legitimately
thinking i'm like there's no way alan rickman
is dead but yeah like crazy uh then we got simon
mcbirney who plays knock uh for whatever reason
i thought this guy was gary oldman oh really
yeah like i think it was just in his voice he
just sounds like gary oldman all right that's
i can see that that's fair yeah anyway uh what's
your top three look like um so number one i would
actually give to nicholas holt oh um hundred
percent because i mean He's great in everything.
Nicholas Holt is one of the best actors working
today, but this movie especially just proved
his acting chops. Like we brought up earlier
with that scene when he first meets Count Orlok,
like you freaking got the same shivers that he
did for how incredible his acting was in that
scene. Oh yeah, dude. You want to talk about
an underrated actor, dude? He has been in damn
near everything. Dude, I cannot wait to see his
interpretation of Lex Luthor in Superman. I'm
so pumped. I'm sure he's going to knock it out
of the park. Oh, yeah. Dude, it's crazy his range.
Because he's done movies like this, horror. He's
done superhero action films. He's done romantic
comedies. He's done comedy. or just straight
up comedy. He's done voice acting before. There
is not a single thing this guy cannot do. Seriously.
For real. I forget what the show is on Hulu that
he does the voice for. I'm just looking at his
movies. And there's not a single one on here.
Listen, there's a few duds. He was not the problem
in those. Crossing Swords on Hulu. It took me
so long. I kept seeing his name pop up in the
credits. And I was like, who in the hell does
he voice in Crossing Swords? And he was the main
guy. And it was blowing my mind. Yeah, I mean,
he's been in X -Men. I guess he was in Garfield.
he was in deadpool too oh yeah he played uh john
in garfield oh oh did he yeah hell dude so good
yeah and then i'm thinking like uh mad max he
was in that jack the giant slayer he was in another
vampire movie freaking renfield uh oh yeah warm
bodies i love warm bodies that is a good one
yeah yeah all all the x -men movies that he was
in yeah there's not a whole hell of a lot that
he's in that i was like not impressed by him
i'm even thinking back to like the menu the menu
was really freaking good too but yeah love him
love him as an actor so so yeah he's easily my
number one spot too um number two i'm trying
to think um Uh, like I'm tossed between, uh,
you know what I think just because like her,
for what she had to do, like her acting chops
were like really, really good. They were up there.
So I'll give number two to Lily Rose Depp. I,
I thought for what she had to do in this role,
she fricking killed it. And I'm sure. And just
the kind of shit that she had to say, the kind
of actions like, wow, like this girl had to work.
Like she, She really had to act and she did a
phenomenal job. Yeah, she was earning a paycheck.
Yeah, seriously. And then, you know, number three
is like a toss up. It's a coin flip. But I think
I would give number three to Willem Dafoe. Bill
Skarsgård is a close fourth. I mean, he's really
good as Count Orlok, especially with that voice.
But just the lines that Willem Dafoe had, just
the way that he portrayed those lines. He is
one of the greatest actors to ever grace the
silver screen. He truly is. And like with Nicholas
Holt, if you find him in a bad movie, it is definitely
not his fault. Because Willem Dafoe will give
it his all no matter what role that he is portraying.
Absolutely. And this movie was no exception.
He even though, you know, he didn't come into
like halfway. He was he made up for it with how
incredible his acting was here. So, yeah, I'd
give number three to Willem Dafoe. But like I
said, it's it's a close call between him and
Bill Skarsgård. Nothing against Bill Skarsgård.
I think he did a great job with what he had to
do with, like, especially like with that grungy
voice. Really, really good job. um but just like
the just uh some of the lines that willem dafoe
had to deliver and just yeah so that's my top
three yeah um i'm actually switching it up just
a bit i'm giving willem dafoe my number two and
then i'm giving my number three to bill skarsgård
his count orlock dude talk about someone who
could just disappear into a role dude yeah dude
straight up I had the same issue with his Count
Orlok that I have with his Pennywise. I'm sitting
there trying to look and see if I can see Bill
Skarsgård. Guess what? You can't. No. Yeah, he's
that good. I'm like, oh my lord, dude. I'm trying
to see. I'm like, where is... bill skarsgård
like you maybe get like a glimpse of him in like
in the eyes just a hair but he's still like just
distorted enough where it's just it's super hard
to tell yeah like who he like where he's come
like where he is in this character and i'm like
god like so good like so freaking good Speaking
of Bill Skarsgård, just really quickly, did you
catch the teaser trailer for the Welcome to Derry
series? No. Oh, dude, yeah, it just dropped today.
You should watch it later tonight. Hell yeah.
Or tomorrow. Dude, it looks so good. You only
see one shot of Pennywise at the end, but what
leads up to it, yeah, this series looks really
freaking good. I'm stoked for it. Oh, I'm pumped.
I'm so pumped. yeah um but yeah so he's gonna
be my number three uh just for all the reasons
that we already stated and then like i say close
four is is lily rose depp like she just she was
kind of i felt like she was a little sidelined
yeah that's fair like for someone that i like
has been on like the main posters and everything
this was like straight up this was nicholas holtz
movie Oh yeah. 100%. Yeah. Even though she's
the one that's getting taken over by the demon.
Yeah. But I mean, everything that she did was
perfect. It's just, she just got outshined a
little bit. Yeah. No, I feel also another one
that was, I mean like the whole cast is really,
really good. But I feel this, this guy just doesn't
get enough love for how incredible of an actor
he is. Aaron Taylor Johnson. He was fantastic
in this movie. Oh yeah. So good. Wow. Yeah. Freaking
loved him until he went all freaking psycho at
the end. But listen, understandable. Like, yeah.
Like if you're going to lose your sanity, like
I get it. Yeah. Might as well go out with your
wife. Yeah, after seeing what you saw, I'll give
you a pass. Yeah, fair. Yeah, this guy went through
so much loss in one movie. It's so tragic. Yeah,
crazy. Where are you sitting with your acting
score? I don't know if I'm in the 90s. You know
what, actually? Just because I feel like the...
The the acting from like everybody was just like
really, really solid. So, you know, I'm just
going to be at a straight up 90. I'm actually
just one point higher. I'm at a 91. Hell yeah.
All right. Next up, we got character development.
The movie's going to take a bit of a dive here.
Yeah, because. Yeah. Oh, my God. Already. Like
you said, it's so dense that it's very hard to
remember these names. Ellen. uh yeah the the
direction that her character goes like like you
know i i get it you know she sacrificed herself
to uh truly destroy um count orlok nosferatu
um but i don't know just the the way that her
character started and then it just declined and
then the way it ended you're like okay all right
That was just her sacrifice at the end was just
odd. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it felt like an odd
choice just because of how hard she was pushing
to stay with Thomas. And then it's just like
she like shifts in its instant like sacrifice.
Like it didn't really like. I think we needed
to see her struggle with that decision. a bit
more or really at all yeah like literally if
she was like fighting with willem defoe's character
and like him like having to explain to her over
and over again like you're literally the only
one that can stop this you're the only one that
can truly destroy nosferatu but like it takes
so long for her to come around like yeah that
would have made more sense and i would have been
more forgiving with the character development
but like here's he they just they discover like
oh you know she's the only one she's like okay
yeah no i understand okay i'll do it it's like
you were fighting for your husband's life last
scene and now you're just willing to accept like
okay yeah i gotta die yeah it was it was a little
bit below average like overall like i'm My average
is usually like 75. I don't think it's quite
in the 60s yet. So I'm sitting at like a pretty
sturdy 70. I think I'll just be like just a couple
above you at 72. Fair. Moving on over to effects.
Really freaking good. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah.
These were fantastic. They were so good. Dude,
there were so many scenes here that were like
just so visually impressive. Yeah. like honestly
um i thought maybe it's just because i had only
seen okay maybe it's just me did they show the
trailer for this movie in black and white or
am i just losing my mind they might have because
i thought they did because yeah when they like
when this movie like actually like started in
color i'm just like oh shit i thought this movie
was gonna be i wasn't gonna be opposed to that
like i love that and it would have made sense
um but that just like kind of like took me back
i'm like oh shit it's in color OK, you I don't
feel like it's totally fair to have a movie that
that's this. We're going to keep saying this
word that it's this dense in dialogue. And also
have it in black and white. I think you get one
or the other. You know what? Fair enough, especially
with what's supposed to be like a blockbuster
film. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. Like everybody
gets one. You either get the black and white
or you get the super heavy dialogue. You don't
get both. Yeah, yeah, you're not wrong. Dude,
one of my favorite scenes was when Thomas was
walking towards the castle and he walked into
that super dark forest and the carriage started
coming at him and how he was standing in the
middle of that crossroad. And it was just like
the snow just coming through the center of that,
like of that super heavy, dense forest. I'm like,
this is amazing to look at. Yeah, dude. Yeah,
that was a great shot. Even when I'm like the
night after he stays at the hotel, when he just
walks out of the room and there's like nobody
there, it's just like a ghost town, but it's
just like covered in snow. Loved that shot. Oh,
so good. dude i've always wondered like how they've
filmed shots like that like that are so far away
like how much of that is like digitally added
um yeah and then i then i hear steen's like um
okay so so tom welling who who did uh smallville
there's a scene where he's in like he's supposed
to be in like where the fortress of solitude
is And so he's in the middle on the middle of
like a mountain just surrounded by snow. And
what they ended up doing with that shot is they
flew him out into the middle of nowhere, just
like on a mountain full of snow, and then lowered
him by helicopter onto the ground because he
was supposed to have flown there. And so he's
like, yeah, so we're just going to drop you.
dead center in the middle of this mountain uh
we're gonna get to like this position and then
you just kind of like look around or do what
you like do whatever it's just they're just like
it's just super important you do not move but
yeah yeah i'm like that's freaking commitment
so i'm like yeah is that something that they
did here like they just built this big ass freaking
um house i guess and then just covered in snow
and like Because it looked untouched. Yeah, it
did. It looked like freshly laid snow. Visually
amazing. So freaking good, dude. I can't think
of a single special effect that I didn't... I
wasn't impressed by. No, me neither. Everything
with Orlok looked good. If I'm being real nitpicky,
maybe the wolves? yeah okay yeah i can definitely
agree with you there yeah but i mean even then
like i'm still well within the 90s like i'm probably
at sitting at like a 92 damn that's exactly what
i was thinking yeah yeah all right next up we
got music which i guess we can tie in other audio
features with that because there weren't very
many like songs no i'll admit there were some
parts where like the music would like bang in
loudly and scare the shit out of me and i i freaking
jumped dude the cheap jump scares beginning the
cheap ass freaking jump scares like made me want
to freaking punch a wall fair definitely fair
yeah um soundtrack wise i'm probably sitting
at like a five but i was thinking taking it like
i actually i still might be at a five I can't
justify going up higher for the sound effects.
No, yeah, dude, I couldn't either. Like the sound
effects, like add a lot to it. And like, you
know, like they definitely make, you know, like
you feel like uneasy during certain scenes, but
like, yeah, it definitely doesn't detract or
like add to the fact that the soundtrack is definitely
nothing to write home about. It's very mediocre.
Yeah. Like everything fit well. with the scenes
like there wasn't anything that was just like
god awful but there wasn't anything that was
like outstanding and grand about it either like
in you know like i know like not every soundtrack
you know like actually has to have you know like
music that like you know like has lyrics you
know stuff like that but like it's no like um
like if i'm thinking of like you know like scary
or horror movies that like the music like literally
if it weren't for the music like the movie wouldn't
be as scary as it is instantly think of halloween
the original halloween if it weren't for john
carpenter's score the original halloween would
not be as scary and tense as it is yeah and so
like if i'm comparing it to that like because
i would put halloween soundtrack that either
like a nine or a ten Um, so like for how much
I feel Nosferatu doesn't even come close to that.
I, I feel that five is justified. Yeah. I feel
like you could have had a really bitching score
with this too. Oh yeah. 100%. Yeah. But it's
just focus like whatever they focused on. And
obviously this time they didn't focus on, on
the soundtrack. Yeah. Which makes sense. Like,
especially with a movie like this, like it makes
sense. Definitely. Moving on over to costumes.
So if you guys wanted to know, if you've seen
this movie, there is a shot where Nicholas Holtz
character Thomas. um opens up count orlock's
coffin and count orlock rises above or rises
up and you see him in all of his full nudity
junk and all you straight up see sound straight
up see count orlock's dick and that was a prosthetic
dick of course um and nicholas holt i think he
took it home or maybe he was just like holding
in his instagram picture i don't know But yeah,
he did have a frame, so he probably did take
it home. But Nicholas Holt posted on Instagram
him holding the framed prosthetic of Count Orlok's
dick. That is hilarious. And he's freaking smiling
doing it. It's amazing. It's fantastic, bro.
Freaking Orlok's design, though. So good. oh
yeah dude so so creepy especially like dude freaking
um when thomas first comes to his castle and
literally all we're seeing is him in the shadows
like we don't see him in his entirety yet one
of my favorite parts of this movie like they
did such a good job building up his appearance
in this oh yeah like oh so good like Everything
about it worked like the voice and how he looked.
It matched perfectly. It did. And honestly, like
everyone else's outfits, I was super impressed
with. Yeah, no, they did a great job staying
true to the time period. Yeah, I would honestly
be I'm like probably at eight and a half, so
I could go either which way. I'm I would say
a nine, honestly. Yeah. I'm with you. I was going
to go with a 9 and let you be the asshole. If
you were going to go with an 8. Well, joke's
on you. No, but it's just, yeah, the costume
department knocked it out of the park. Everyone
looked so good. So freaking, like, with the times.
And then Orlok, dude. Freaking the thing of nightmares.
straight up yeah but i'm like it's it's just
his silhouette i don't think is quite on the
same level like on the same level as like other
silhouettes i've seen like he has a great silhouette
don't get me wrong yeah but i don't think like
the rest of the outfits quite shine enough to
justify a 10 that's fair but i do feel like orlok
is a majority of this nine yeah oh 100 uh yeah
all right last that personal score i want to
hear yours first if that's okay oh boy uh i was
not the target demographic for this movie like
this is this is a very particular type of person
that's going to go in and enjoy this like if
you enjoy classic uh, like the, the, the romanticism
behind like old timey, like vampires, this might
be the one for you. Um, I don't totally vibe
with that shit. Like, like I said, I'm not the
target demographic for this. Even my, my wife
who is very into vampire, like she very much
enjoys like twilight. She's watched vampire diaries.
Like she's She's kind of in that realm. She didn't
even really enjoy this because she felt it was
like too old timey, like to like classic vampire.
And she doesn't really care for that aspect of
it. So, like I said, you have to be in a very
particular area, like a very specific niche.
And I just wasn't quite there. The movie itself
was good. The acting was phenomenal. watching
this I came into this and viewed it very much
as a critic instead of someone that just kind
of went in to enjoy a movie because I kind of
had a feeling I wasn't going to and I wasn't
completely wrong I'd say a good 90 % of my enjoyment
of this film came from the appreciation of the,
the production. So I think with this movie, I'm
probably sitting in like a 77. It was, I know
like it's, I, it seems low, but just personal
enjoyment. Like, yeah, 77, not one. I'm probably
ever going to watch again. Not completely fair.
Yeah. For, you know, for the most part, I'm going
to piggyback on what Caleb said. Like, Yeah,
I had no idea. I'm usually not into like old
vampire kind of movies. Like I've never seen
the original Dracula. I've never seen Twilight.
Actually, I'm really not that much into vampires.
Honestly, it's not my thing. But, you know, I'm
glad that I finally know the story of Nosferatu.
It's very interesting. we were first introduced
to this character in spongebob and look where
we are now this is we got to we got to see uh
who this character is um and you know i'm glad
that i watched it um i'm glad that um i can finally
say that i've seen uh this story um i i will
agree with caleb i was definitely more of a um
Well, I think I was more so maybe like split
down the middle. I was definitely a critic a
little more, but I was also enjoying it for like
the kind of vampire piece that it is a very old
timey vampire piece. Yeah. Like, like for the
most part, I did have a good time. And I will
say like kind of going off, like this doesn't
have anything to do with the actual movie, but
like, I remember when they. announced the steelbook
for this movie and i saw it and i was like well
you know what i haven't seen it yet so like maybe
let's not pre -order it and then it's sold out
and now i think it like goes for like 58 50 to
80 bucks instead of 30 bucks so like holy shit
yeah so i kick myself for missing out on the
steelbook for this movie because like it's pretty
cool but i'm glad that i've seen it now because
i know that i would not spend 50 or more dollars
on this movie, like 20 for a steel book, 20 to
30. Yeah. I think I would, especially for how
I really thought the steel book was cool. But
anyway, getting past that overall, I had a decent
time with this movie. I think I would watch it
again just to maybe see if like there's stuff
that I just didn't catch in my first viewing.
But. i completely understand why caleb wouldn't
want to come back to this movie i completely
get it um yeah i'm with you vampires were never
really my vibe it's weird like you know a lot
of people growing up and nowadays like when they
think like classic horror characters you know
they always think the mummy frankenstein dracula
that was since i was a kid that was never mine
no my classic horror characters are freaking
Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees,
Chucky. Those are my horror classic characters.
Those are my monsters. Who was your, like, out
of the classic Halloween monsters, like, who
was your, like, favorite? I'd probably say the
mummy. The mummy? Yeah. That's fair. It was either
the mummy or the invisible man. It's kind of
a toss -up between those two. Yeah, I was always
more intrigued by Frankenstein. Frankenstein
and werewolves. I think I much prefer werewolves.
Vampires were always bottom of my list. I'm like,
I don't give a shit about you little prissy pants.
I prefer the rough and gruff. werewolves or the
freaking badass freaking hulking frankenstein
no that's fair it's unfortunate i don't know
if i mean i haven't seen it yet but um that movie
that came out the wolf man um i heard that wasn't
that good um and it sucks because it's from the
same director that uh did uh the invisible man
oh that's lame i know i mean we haven't seen
it so we could be wrong and uh maybe we'll like
it um but yeah when i like we're seeing the reviews
i'm like man that sucks because like the invisible
man is like one of the best um i'm i don't i
don't even think it's a remake i think it's like
a reimagining of a uh character so i was very
uh sad to hear that yeah um but anyway my score
Um, my personal score for Nosferatu, um, I'm
just going to be a couple points higher than
Caleb. Um, I'm going to be at a solid, um, tossing
these two numbers. I'm going to be at a solid
80. Like I think, you know, it barely makes it,
but I do think that I, there, there is enough
parts that I enjoyed that I can warrant putting
it into the B minus territory. Totally fair.
All right, going through these categories real
quick. Starting off with story, we ended up averaging
out to an 83. Writing got a pretty decent bump,
sitting at an 88. Acting got another bump, sitting
at a 90 .5. The character development was average
at best. We're sitting at a 71 with that one.
The effects are our highest category, sitting
at a 92. Our music is at the lowest category,
sitting at a 5 out of 10. Costumes is sitting
at a 9 out of 10. And then our personal score
ended up averaging out to a 78 .5. So with that,
the final All Bros Letter Grade for Nosferatu
has come out to a B -. Okay, that's not bad.
I like that. Oh, I think we lost Rose's image
or picture. Oh, shit. That's what you get for
hitting your desk too hard. Son of a bitch. God
damn it. No, that didn't do anything. Looking
at it, it's actually a pretty strong B minus.
Okay. So our cutoff for a B minus. a B is 83%.
This is sitting at an 82 .87%. I'll take it.
Yeah. Uh, so let's see. So this is sitting below
the greatest showman and then getting into the
B range. It's sitting below Jumanji. Welcome
to the jungle, violent night, Argyle and wish.
Okay. That's yeah, that's not bad. Yeah, and
then go in the opposite direction. It's sitting
above Gran Turismo. Yeah, okay. Yeah, Scream
6. Oh, wow. Yeah, right. A Haunting in Venice.
Okay. The Hunt. All right. And Godzilla X Kong
The New Empire. Okay. I feel most probably can
agree with that. Yeah. I don't think it's...
Not bad. Not a bad placement. No, it's not. Definitely
a lot higher than I thought it was going to get,
though. Yeah, dude, same here. Yeah, I thought
this was going to be like a lower B minus, maybe
be in the C plus range, but. Yeah. Hell yeah.
All right. Well, if you enjoyed this and you
want to check out more episodes, you can follow
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We are damn near everywhere. Google Play, Spotify,
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so at tpublic .com forward slash user forward
slash the all bros. It's just the all -bros,
right? Not the all -bros channel? Eh, pretty
sure. Okay, I always forget that. If it doesn't
work for just, if you type in just the all -bros
and it doesn't work, try the all -bros channel,
and that should work. But anyway, next week,
Caleb and I will be breaking down Love Hurts.
the new Q Hoy Kwan movie, uh, that came out and
I'm pretty sure it came out like right around
Valentine's day. Um, that is now on Peacock.
So we're definitely excited to check out that
one. Uh, so if you guys haven't seen that, um,
you know, go check it out on Peacock before we
break that down. So you can join us in for the,
join us for the fun with that episode. Um, but,
uh, until then, this has been the all bros podcast.
I'm Jonathan. And I'm Caleb. And we will see
you guys next week. See ya. Deuces.