What is up bros? I'm Caleb and unfortunately Rose. I'm not Rose. You're not Rose.
So we got the lesser, the worst co-host. I'm so sorry to be here instead of Rose, but it's me DJ. Hi, how's it going?
Rose is out of commission this week and he will be out of commission next week as well.
So we got some of our favorite guests coming to fill in some slots.
But yeah, so yeah, we're joined by things was rough, man. I get it.
Yeah. Yeah. Just taking some time to recover from that.
But anyway, typically we are a couple of bros on a mission to give you guys the most detailed movie reviews out there with as little bias as possible.
Welcome to the all bros this week on the podcast. I once again have not been watching movies.
I've been watching shows and stuff and yeah.
What you've been watching.
Let's see. What did I just finish?
I watched or I finally finished.
Dang it. What's this? What did I just watch? I'm forgetting the show. Like I've been watching Bad Batch on the regular.
Okay.
I'm loving that. What else am I watching?
I finished Twisted Metal. Gosh, that's gonna bug me. Hold on. There's a show I'm watching.
And I forgot what it is.
It's not fallout is it?
Oh yes, I finished fallout.
Love it. That's that's the show. That's what the one I was watching that that one is the one that I watched and finished and over the moon about it.
Absolutely love what that show was.
Did you did you play the game at all or do you just have the show?
Just the show.
Which is I could never get into fallout, but I was super I'm super big into Skyrim.
So it's a weird like area to be in for me because it's like I know that they're both Ubisoft games and I mean they're both Bethesda or Bethesda not Ubisoft.
How dare you they're both Bethesda. Don't you dare give Ubisoft any more credit.
Hey listen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to like break up the flow. Am I coming in like choppy or like super out of phase right now.
A little bit. There's like a really big because I finished asking that question and like five seconds later. Yeah, big huge delay.
So anyway, the fallout games. I think you should start out with is you have game pass, right?
Yes, I just now I just started downloading fallout New Vegas and fallout 4 because those were like my main two that I played back in the day and those are both on gamepad.
So I think I think fallout for fallout 76 of New Vegas and I think one other one are on game pass right now and but yeah, New Vegas is great fallout for is great.
I would play either one of those and I think you'll be you'll be into it if you like Skyrim.
It's just post apocalyptic Skyrim like it's great.
Yeah, I've I've I gave fallout for a chance and maybe it was just because my brother was being a snob about it that turned me off to the game.
Because I saw him playing it and then I attempted to like give it a go, but he was being a real freaking asshole about it.
So maybe that's what turned me off to it because I was just like whatever forget this Skyrim is better. But yeah, I I need to give it another shot like I felt like this is what happened like when I've watched like when I watched twisted metal.
I was just like oh shit like I want to play twisted metal.
By the way, twisted metal. I when you guys were talking about that it reminded me how dare you disrespect sweet tooth name he is the man. Okay, he is the you're like who's the sweet tooth guy and what is he the he is the guy like he, I think in twisted metal one.
I think specter was supposed to be kind of like the the main protagonist or whatever a which I think is who Anthony Mackie is kind of supposed to be. I haven't seen the show but that's kind of seems like who he's supposed to be in that but sweet tooth eventually becomes the main attraction.
Like you you you go for twisted metal you stay for sweet tooth like that he is the man. Okay, I didn't really like I didn't realize there was a story behind all that it's it's there is a story.
There is a story. You can say it in air quotes, but it's like I didn't follow it much past like two and three but it was basically all like monkeys paw stuff because you would get into like the twisted metal arena, because you wanted to you know you're basically
you're wish to come true, and then it would be fulfilled but like you know it was like, I think one guy literally wanted to be able to fly, and he like jumps off a cliff and he falls and dies and they're like here's your two tickets, your two first class tickets to Hawaii.
You said you wanted to fly you didn't say how, like it's literally that.
That's pretty good.
Like, I watched some gameplay just to like, see what the game was about. And so I just kind of assumed it was like a need for speed or something like that where it wasn't like a, like I figured that there was like maybe a campaign but I didn't realize there was
like a story behind it. It's like a straight up, it's a demolition Derby of just nonsense vehicles.
Like one of them. I don't know if Axel is in the show but like Axel is literally just a guy that's just holding on to two giant tires and he just goes around and like, he's the body of the car but it's just two giant tires.
Axel was great I love to Axel specter was a good one. Who else was there. I don't know it was it was a great game but I imagine it was a good show to like everyone seems to have a lot.
It was a pretty solid show like I enjoyed it a lot.
Like, more than I thought I was I thought it was going to be some cheesy like whatever but it was, it was rock solid.
Dude, it frickin will our nets voice as sweet tooth is just chef's kiss. He could have easily played both Batman and Joker.
It was like an evil maniacal laugh, and it's frickin haunting. I want to get Paramount Plus so bad but like, if you stop having Amazon video, like, does that actually take your bill down, or do you just like, that's included.
So, so that's.
Yeah, prime videos just included in your prime membership.
No, to some medals on, I wish there was a way to take that away. I hate Paramount Plus peacock, like they're all ones that I want to get, but like, we've got so much now frickin between what do we have we've got Hulu we have Disney plus we have
Max we have Netflix we have probably another one I'm not thinking of. And I just, it's. I'm, I'm at my wit's end with streaming because it has happened. We have done the thing where we have just made new cable to the point to where I don't know if you heard this,
I don't even know if it was true or not. I have to believe it was an April Fool's that Disney is coming out with channels. They're like if you just want to go to a channel where there's something constantly playing, like you don't get to choose, it's just playing.
They're like, turn on a channel, and they're like, I just so many people on tick tock roasting like bitch you invented regular ass television. Is that what you're trying to tell us right now.
It's just, it's. We've come full circle, it's it's all it's all eating itself now we're watching it happen, which is crazy.
Dude, it is so funny to see where, like, TV, television or televised content is is going. And what I appreciate like so Netflix we just started paying for our own Netflix.
We, I appreciate that they like because we got the one with with ads, and the ads aren't too bad. Like it's there only like 30 seconds and like you hardly notice them.
But what I appreciate is that they won't throw ads on kids shows.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah. Well, that's by the way, don't don't don't don't be too happy about that for too long because that's not far away.
Netflix needs to talk to Amazon because now the Amazon has commercials, like it actually makes watching invincible a frickin chore, because I'm like, Jesus Christ, like a minute and a half of commercials. Why just give me the Omni man I want let me seem crush somebody's face or something like stop, stop it.
I hate it so much.
Yeah, I know. Yeah, and, oh man this this last season was awesome. I can't wait for season three. I haven't hopefully yet.
So don't spoil this.
Good shit, some real good shit.
We, yeah, we'll talk later because I don't want to I don't want to spoil anything for anyone who might not have seen it, but I want to talk about what I've seen so far.
Let's see. Oh, we have we gotten to what we want to what we. Oh yeah, we were talking about how you don't watch movies anymore. I can talk about how I don't watch movies either.
And I see I see edits on Tick Tock of movies I want to see, which is the movie I want to see now, and I will watch by the next time I'm on the show again is the green book with Viggo Mortenson and blade, whatever his name is Mahershala Ali I think.
Yeah, it's been on my watch list forever.
Dude, on Tick Tock, there are edits of that movie that have I've saw three today that had like 2 million likes on them. Like what, how is this a thing.
Like, how did the first of all we're in the wrong game, we need to be making ridiculous Tick Tock edits and getting paid off of that. But I'm like I've got to see this movie like I've been seeing clips of that movie on Tick Tock forever.
I'm like this does look amazing like I need to see it.
But yeah, the green book, I said I highly recommend it even though I never saw it.
Those edits bother the hell out of me because it's like you have to scroll so far freaking down before you get a serious answer about what movie it actually is. I found one today that I respected the hell out of that because it was just like it was the white screen and they played a clip from the from this show.
And like it was just kind of going on super interesting part of the show, like whatever. And then it had like it kind of cut like have one of those like, oh, check this like just had a little like something to kind of catch your attention.
And then it like shifted inside. Watch this now on Amazon Prime and I'm like freaking a dude like yeah, it gave the title of the show. It gave where you could watch it. I'm like that is what me and Rose have been attempting to do where it's like showing.
I mean, obviously we've been stealing it from like the trailer, but just showing the trailer given a quick synopsis of the movie and then telling you in the description where you can find it.
In fairness, I am part of the problem because like I remember when I think it was something came out. It wasn't Super Mario Brothers, but it was something that had Jack Black in it. And then they started there was a clip of him and Kyle gas on the pick of destiny and people were in the comments like who is this?
This what is this movie? I'm like, oh wow, this is Jack Black and Super Mario Brothers 2023 or whatever. Like I was one of the guys that was just putting bullshit in there.
Just to mess with people. Well, this is shallow hell via circa 1990 who cares.
Yeah, that's oh my gosh, you have no idea how much that shit bothers me because I'm just like, gosh, can I get a serious answer?
I'll tell you what though, it definitely if you are like you want to watch a movie, but you're not sure if you're going to like it or not.
There are those accounts that you come across on TikTok that have entire movies on them, like three and a half minutes at a time.
Just like all right, you'll say, here we go flip flip like I've spent lunch sitting there watching half a movie on three minutes.
Yeah, I I so I used to hate having a bunch of tabs open on my my Chrome on my phone.
Now I have like 20 of them open because anytime I see a clip, I'm like, all right, what movie is this?
I'll find it in the comments and then I'll like I'll Google it and then it's like, all right, you can watch it on this.
So I'll be like, all right, cool. And then I'll set it aside. But it's always like, OK, I don't have an hour and a half to sit and watch this movie.
So it's like it sits in my my thing for so long before I like to do it.
Yeah. But I have like so much shit. I have like different animes in there.
I have a bunch of different movies, a random ass show like so much shit.
No, it's just for shits and giggles. I'm going to what's your what's your last?
I need to know your last five that you looked up.
I have 22 tabs open right now. Some of these are not safe for work.
Now, one of the I was I was OK. That one's a chess one.
Oh, oh, doing a little chess cheating, are we?
No, I was trying to know. I was trying to look up what the scholars mate, because I felt like there was a game I played.
I felt like I could have done it perfect, but I goofed it up and I was like, shit, what I do wrong.
Oh, OK. One of them's amazing stories, which is on Apple TV.
Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
Uh. Gattaca. Gattaca. That's the one with Ethan Hawke.
Yep. Yeah, that was a good movie, too. Wind River. Never heard of it. Palmer. Palmer like Arnold.
No, Palmer is the Justin Timberlake. This one's also on Apple TV.
A lot of these ended up being on Apple TV. And I'm like, well, shit.
Just buy an Apple product and get a couple of minutes of Apple for free.
Escape Room 2. Eight mile.
Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Escape Room 2. Was Escape Room 1 the one with Jodie Foster or was it Jodie Foster? Who was in that movie?
The first Escape Room?
Oh, no, I'm thinking of Panic Room. What is Escape Room?
So Escape Room.
Like, is this like low budget horror or is this because there's no way that's not a horror movie?
It was actually bigger budget. Or at least I felt like it was a bit bigger budget.
Smaller. It's like not a super well known cast, but it was a movie that was released in theaters.
Did you ever watch Daredevil?
The television program or the movie?
Television program.
Yes, I did. With Charlie Cox or whatever.
Yeah. Do you remember the chick who played Karen? The redhead?
Yeah. Yes. She was. I know her exclusively from True Blood.
OK. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She was in this movie and then a few other people were in this.
But it's like these super good puzzle solvers. They go and do this Escape Room, but it's like a horror situation where it's like the Escape Rooms.
If you're not quick enough, they'll kill you.
So wait, is it the next one called Escape Room 2 or is it Escape Room Tournament of Champions?
Tournament of Champions.
Ooh, are there any returning champions or did they all die in the first one?
Oh, she's back. They're all back. They made it. Spoiler alert for Escape Room.
They all made it. Everybody escaped.
But yeah, so that one's been on my list.
That's hilarious.
Eight Mile.
Eight Mile is a good one. I would like to revisit that one. Like that one, I remember when that came out and people were like, hold on.
He asked, too. What is going on here?
Because that wasn't that Brittany Murphy's last movie, I think, maybe.
It's very possible. I think that was her last movie that she was in.
Yeah. And then I have this. Yeah.
Then I have this anime that a coworker told me was really good called Shimonetta. Shimonetta.
Yeah, I've never heard of it. My nephew just started watching Samurai Champloo.
If you want another one.
And then the last or the other one I have is called Dummy.
Is that the ventriloquist Dummy?
No, this one is Anna Kendrick.
And I guess she like steals a one night stand sex doll.
Go on.
And then I don't know. Like, that's all I have.
Oh, and it's like, I think I've heard of this.
And is there some kind of like, either she's crazy or it's magical or something and they think it's like
coming to life or something like that or they can talk to it or something?
Yeah, something like that.
But it yeah, the clips that people were showing were looked it looked hilarious.
So that's been on my my list to hilarious.
But yeah, so I have a bunch of shit like that on here.
Everything else is like, can I transmit my HDMI wirelessly?
Or this my Sea of Thieves account is logged in and all this other shit.
I tried so hard with Sea of Thieves, like it went to game pass and I was like, all right, people love this game.
And I got through the.
Like tutorial area and I immediately uninstalled the whole game.
It's like, this is not for me.
It's fun if you have like a good team.
Like, that's the other thing that people say, too, is like you can't you basically can't really do it alone.
You can, but it's not really the thing.
And if you're not doing it with people, you know, you might as well just be doing it alone.
Exactly. Yeah. My brothers and I used to play a lot.
And then one of my brothers decided that he was too cool to play that game.
And which sucks because I really enjoy that.
I'm like, gosh, I just need to get like a different crew behind me.
But it's hard to find people that like want to do the same shit that I do.
What do you like to do, Caleb?
No, like I like my my brothers, they like the combat, so they wanted to like hunt people down and like try it.
But we what's what was dumb is we weren't very good at combat.
And so we get our frickin ass handed to us and then they wanted to go like basically get revenge on these people.
And then they'd frickin sink us with no problem.
And I'm like, like, dude, why?
And then so me, I like the treasure hunting aspect, like I like doing the puzzles and stuff.
So that's the aspect of it that I like to do. Yeah. But they didn't like it.
And then one of my brothers, the one that decided that he doesn't didn't like it anymore.
He's like, it's frickin boring. And I'm like, yeah, but like we only played like once a week.
And I'm like, that was our time to like get together and just talk.
And I'm like, you can't really sit there and talk when we're playing like other games because we're trying to like shoot each other down.
But we just started playing Halo three together.
Really? Yeah. So if you yeah, if it's on Game Pass, if you get the the Halo cheat or Halo Master Chief Edition.
Yeah, you can play the Halo three. And that was that was our shit when we were younger.
And so we've been playing that and it's been an absolute blast.
I'm trying to get my nephew to play the original Halo and I can't find my copy of it anywhere.
They have the OG. Well, that's it. Here's the thing.
Sorry. Sorry, nephews. If you ever hear this, I have a secret Xbox in here and that's the one that has Game Pass on it.
Or completely other Xbox. It's not.
Yeah, I have the Series X in here and they have the Xbox one out there.
And by the way, I don't feel bad about it because they have the option of a PlayStation four or an Xbox one and they pick the PlayStation every time.
So I'm like, yeah, I don't feel bad about this decision.
So yeah, by the way, I wouldn't mind buying that game again, like the the 10 year anniversary edition, because that was the first version of it that I ever played.
And actually, you know what's crazy? Sorry. I know this is movie time. We'll talk about Deadpool and Wolverine in just a minute.
The what was it? The first Halo game I ever played was what the hell was the prequel called?
Halo Reach. The first one I ever played was Halo Reach.
And that was crazy to play that game first, because I was like, I was like, first of all, where is Master Chief and all of this?
And then, you know, spoiler alert for a freaking 10 plus year old game.
But like the end when you're like, you get all like hooked in with this dude and you're like, all right, this is my boy blue.
And you just end with him going, ah, just shooting everyone.
And he just gets left by himself. So everyone else can make it away.
I'm like, why are you making me sad? Halo game.
Don't do this. And then the actual ending is literally like the moments of the first the first game, whatever, starting.
And it's like it was I don't know if they've anyone's ever done a prequel better than Halo Reach into Halo.
Like that was so good. Oh, man.
I I've been debating going through the campaign of Halo and I kind of want to do a chronological play through.
Dude, Reach Reach is a great game.
All the game all of them are good. Well, I mean, I tapped out at four.
I started to play four and was like, yeah, that's enough.
Actually, I think I came back in at five and was like, yeah, I was right.
That's still enough. And then this new one, Infinite or whatever came out.
And apparently it's returned to form. But I just I can't I downloaded it and I started to like boot it up.
And I was like, nah, I can't do it. Like this.
I think I'm done with Halo and that's good. That's fine.
I still love Halo, though.
And I didn't get the I didn't get anything ruined for me by watching the show.
So that's good. Yeah, I've loved going back to it because it just fills me with so much nostalgia.
And now I don't have the issue of my brother's frickin screen looking.
I had one of my brothers that was just completely wasting me like over and over and over again.
And I just I yelled at him over the chat and I was like, hey, quit screen looking, you asshole.
And he's like, like, I'm not. And then he stopped and he's like, what?
Yeah, you're a cheater. You're a screen. You're a screen sneak. I know it.
It's so funny to catch him off guard like that because he's like, I'm not screen.
Wait a minute. I feel like we're like trying to do anything but talk about this movie that we're supposed to.
It does kind of feel like that, huh?
If you don't mind, I would like to just at least say Deadpool and Wolverine.
I have never been so excited for a Marvel movie in the past two years.
So that I mean, it's this movie.
It almost can't lose. Like the last time I was on here, I had some disparaging words for Mr.
Kevin Feige. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for doubting you, sir.
I shouldn't have said the things I said. I apologize. I take them all back.
But I think you clearly know what you're doing. And you have aligned yourself with Ryan Reynolds.
And I think that's a good decision. I actually might rewatch Loki season one and two just to prime myself for watching this movie.
And that is what I suggest everyone does. You have not watched Loki season one and two.
Like you definitely watch Deadpool one and two.
Watch that movie or watch that show, because I feel like that's going to not just be like something happening in the background.
Like I feel like the TVA is going to play heavy in this movie.
Yeah, definitely. And season one and two, they need to be watched back to back.
Yeah. Like that is the prime viewing experience for those.
Like that show was meant to be a movie, like a six hour long movie.
Yeah. Like really, like it's so funny because the first and second season, they're like they're weirdly.
I don't know. I don't know if different tones is the right way to describe it.
But like they are, I feel like two separate movies, but like two movies that are in the same trilogy.
There are, I guess, the duology. I don't know what would you call it, too?
But yeah, it's good. I don't think there's any filler in those shows for the most part.
A little bit, but not so much that you're like, all right, get to the story already.
Like there's always something happening. Am I selling people on Loki right now?
If you haven't watched it, you probably never will.
But the only thing that I would consider the filler for Loki is any sort of establishing shot,
which you could get rid of if you were just to clump it all together.
Yeah, but I would say that like that show was like also nice to look at.
Like there were not like even in those establishing shots, like there wasn't it wasn't just like you need to see this tree anyway.
Now, you know, he's outside like the shots were all beautiful.
Like there was a it was a very good looking show.
Like there was no nothing was wasted on it. I don't think. Yeah.
Why can't we be talking about Loki? Let's talk about Loki season one and two instead.
Rebel Moon 2 go directly to hell. We're talking about Loki now.
Yeah. Well, unfortunately, that's not what the people came to listen to.
They came to listen to us suffer through this breakdown.
So without further ado, let's say we get on into it. Fine.
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I am here for you. You can find me on all podcast platforms.
Ben is so great. By the way, before anything else happens, my everywhere you can find me.
I'm mainly on Instagram at untrained iPod. OK, listen to me before we get into this movie, please, please.
I'm begging you. Just send me all your recommendations for good sci fi movies.
Like, even if you think I've seen them before, like I need something to cleanse the palette of the thing that I just saw because it was so good or so bad.
Who knows? Anyway, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Yeah, I'll be I'll be sure to post all of those in the description for any of you have suggestions, but I wouldn't mind receiving those as well.
Please. I mean, off the wall, it can be an indie thing.
It can be like a YouTube like 10 minute movie that you're like, this is a great short film.
Anything, anything, anything. Dude, I've had a bit like watching Bad Batch.
I've kind of had a Star Wars gap in my life and I cannot wait for the acolyte.
Yeah, I'm like, I feel like they like Disney is like, I don't know how we feel about the acolyte.
Like we talked about it for a second and now we're like, never mind.
So I don't know. Like it seemed like they were making a big deal.
And then I dig it. And Trinity is a Jedi. So that's canon now.
I mean, to be honest with you, since we're doing Loki rewatches, I wouldn't mind doing some Nando rewatches as well.
I'd be down for that.
All right. Well, if you guys are new to our breakdown system,
we have split movies into eight different categories that we individually score to come to a final all bros and untrained I letter grade.
The eight categories that we are going to be scoring our story, writing, acting, character development, effects, music, costumes.
And then we are going to be giving our own personal score at the very end.
All of those numbers are going to get magically added up and spit through our algorithm and give us a letter grade to compare this movie to others of a similar score.
So with that, if you have not seen Rebel Moon Part Two, The Scargiver,
we are going to be spoiling the entire frickin movie for you.
So you can see it. He's putting up air quotes. He said spoiling, but there's no such a thing.
Yeah. Unfortunately, I did not have the wherewithal to create a reading with Caleb thing.
So this will be our technically our reading with Rose segment.
Listen, I'll pull up the Wikipedia and you can I'll be reading with DJ if you want.
But no, I got it up. So yeah, you have been properly warned.
Spoiler warning now. But honestly, you're probably fine.
So with that, get into this synopsis.
Cora and the surviving warriors returned to Velt, believing that Cora had successfully killed Admiral Noble and prevented the forthcoming assault on the planet to claim its food supplies.
But Eris, a mother world soldier working as a double agent for the village people, informs them that Noble is alive and the Dreadnought ship will arrive in five days.
Titus commits to training the entire village to fight, harvesting the entire grain supply in three days.
So the flour can be used as leverage to prevent the mother world forces from simply bombing the village from orbit.
Cora and Gunnar become lovers and she admits that Regent Balisarius compelled her involvement in the assassination of the mother world's king, queen and young princess Issa or Issa with Cora herself shooting the princess.
Balisarius had then attempted to frame her for the coup, but she had instead fled to Velt in a mother world shuttle to hide from the law.
Titus, Nemesis, Tarek, Milius and Cora train the villagers in combat, preparing a plan involving digging trenches and tunnels in the fields, laying explosives and preparing Cora's shuttle.
The group also reveal their pasts to each other, but Cora declines to share her involvement in Issa's death.
When Noble arrives with the Dreadnought, his forces scan the village, identifying where the women and children are hiding, protected by Nemesis and Eris, and send forces to capture them to force Cora out.
Cora attempts to surrender to him once Noble promises to spare the village, but Gunnar triggers the ambush anyway and Titus and Tarek lead the villages in successfully repelling the first wave, though Nemesis is killed in defending the women and children.
The heavily armored and mechanized second wave of mother world troops pushes the defenders back, destroying much of the village, but Cora and Gunnar use the shuttle and stolen uniforms to infiltrate the Dreadnought, laying explosives on the engine.
Jiminy...Jiminy? Jimmy arrives to help the village defenders push back the assault and the explosives spring down the Dreadnought. In the process, Gunnar kills Noble, but later dies from his injuries.
Devra Bloodaxe and her rebel forces arrive in ships to destroy the remaining mother world troops, leading to victory. In the aftermath, the village mourns the dead and Cora admits her past, which Titus reveals he already knew.
He also reveals that Issa is secretly alive and in hiding, and the assembled group declare their intentions to find her and restore the royal lineage to the throne in order to dispose Balisarius.
Is it over yet?
Did you just describe the first hour of this in slow motion like the entire movie was? I can I just I don't know where this would fit in, but I have to get this off of me right now.
The fact that this movie spent the first 53 minutes doing slow motion made me want to die. Like I thought by the time that they were like when Jiminy showed up and I finally thought this movie was going to start getting cool.
It didn't, by the way. I was I swear to God, Caleb. I was like, wow, we are almost at the end. We are clearly about to be at like the end of this movie right now because it is all not even close legitimately halfway through like a little less than halfway through.
Get out of here. I did the exact same thing. I was like, wow, this one's pretty quick paced for all the slow mo that they're throwing. And then I shook my mouse and I was like, God damn it.
Just such a such a like how about this? How about the people who farm for a living are like, I don't know what they were doing in the weeks that dumb dumb was out gathering the idiot brigade to come and fight for them.
But apparently they were all just chilling waiting to have a feast by the way that no one would eat because I just for everyone who hasn't seen this movie, they all all five of the bad batch return and they're like, we're going to we're coming here to fight for you, man.
And they're like, thanks so much. We made this whole big spread for you. And it's all this food and it looks delicious. And all of the people that live here didn't want to come because they were too embarrassed that they had to ask for help.
So they they start to say like, no, no, it's cool. Blah, blah, blah. The end result is nobody eats the food. Like they just all go off into their own do their own thing. And there's just an empty long house with food in it that they all prepared for no one.
They all wait. They all wake up the next day. And sorry, I have so much to say. Caleb, what did you think? Who ate that food?
Yeah, I agree with you. No one ate that food. And dude, the after our last discussion, and I came to the realization that this was just a live action Bugs Life.
Like that's how I was viewing this movie. I was like, OK, this is the second half of Bugs Life after they done all the preparation to fight the grasshoppers like but in this sense, the grasshoppers are this frickin dreadnought ship that could just blow them to smithereens.
And in a moment's notice, too, I love to like how flippant they all were when they were like, all right, we need to do the all everything we need to get the grain pulled and turned into flour and we need to get everything set up in five days.
And everyone there was like, ha, ha, like, really? Like, dude, OK, sorry that the five of us couldn't do all the work for you idiots. But yeah, you're gonna have to frickin pull your weight around here.
And then you have the girl who's supposed to be like the, you know, de facto leader there or whatever she was that was like, while everyone was working, I made you these banners. Here's one for you.
You're the mother of lightning. Here's another one for you. You're the lion of courage. Here's one for you. You're the scarecrow of knowledge.
Like what? Like, why were what? Why weren't you helping, lady? Like, no one cares about your stupid flags. Like, what? Yeah, that it's like this kind of feels like an around the clock operation.
And it seems like you're wasting time making cute banners because they're like five days won't be enough to do everything because I just thought they were harvesting wheat.
By the way, you might think that we're talking too much about the farming aspect of this. This is a big portion of the movie. There is a huge portion of the movie.
Like, I can't believe they're still doing it. A portion of the movie because they're like we get by the way, they made it seem like they're like this all took three days, but they showed the equivalent of like a six hour workday.
And they're like, yep, we put the sex over our shoulders and we put it over here and we ground up the thing and we stacked it up. And like there was no there was no semblance of like how much time had actually passed.
Like it didn't seem like it was three days. Just seemed like one kind of long workday. And they're like, all right, it's time to build the site. By the way, if you've ever dug with a shovel anything in your entire life, this movie goes from like science fiction to like we're just making up anything right now.
We just say anything we want because they dig foxholes, the likes of which any army would love to have.
And they do it in a day. They do it impossible, says me. It was dug thousands of yards of dirt in my life. Like, no, it just wouldn't be, dude.
And like, not even that the frickin that they're harvesting basically a mountain's worth of like it seemed like they traveled on the whatever those frickin horses on horseback for like a couple days to get to the village.
And then they're just like, oh yeah, we need to harvest all of this in three days. Like, no, sir.
So in the court, by the way, me and Beth both were like, were like, yeah, they should have said they just say 14 days or 10 days or something, because then that would have been enough time to do the farming, get the get the foxholes dug and do the training, the training.
Hey, here's some straw men. Go ahead and hit them with a stick. All right, you're ready to go.
Get out there and fight like hell.
Yeah, they were teaching them to fight with frickin farming equipment, and then they ended up just like, oh yeah, and we have this whole frickin barn full of military weapons that we can use, I guess.
I guess if you wanted to or we can use these pitchforks and machetes.
Dude, the jumping around was ridiculous in this movie.
It was frickin crazy. Well, and you know, we're theoretically we're talking about the story right now.
Like, they made this movie really assumed the grandeur that it thought the first movie, the grandeur and the reverence that it thought the first movie was going to just choke hold everyone with, because it just like launches into it.
Like, we are just supposed to understand what's going on. And I'm like, first of all, you had a man talking at the beginning, I didn't pay attention to a word he said, am I whatever version of the ad I have made me forget the words he said as soon as he said them anyway.
So guess what I'm sorry Star Wars got it right put some words up there so I can read it 10 times like I normally do.
And I'm like, and then, oh boy, he's there just like, oh yeah he needs to be back to life so boom back to life we put some red and green juice in him, or sorry red and blue juice in general, whatever.
And I called him a general Vader, because he was clearly that was clearly supposed to be there Darth Vader. Spoiler alert, my number one actor in this whole thing, because that dude stayed being happy that he had a job between rebels moon one and two.
And it was just nonsense, like they're just like he's alive because it's more it's easier for him to be alive than be dead.
And there was just.
I heard this movie described as an extended trailer for this movie. And I think I don't know that I can say it any better than that. Like, this movie is just a big trailer for this movie.
Because it's, it looks beautiful, like that was one thing I kept going back to is like, I am distracted by how good this movie is. And the distraction is like, I can't believe how good it is as compared to how bad this story is how bad this acting is like everything.
If you're watching this movie on mute, I swear I said this about the first one. If you're watching this movie on mute, you would think it was as great as it thinks it is.
You're exactly correct.
It's, it's a shame. This whole movie was.
The thing about the tracks is the. It's like they forgot to follow any sort of structure like that was I think my big issue with the story was that the structure was so off, because it's like with Cora.
She had this this moment with.
Oh shit. Yeah, with Gunnar.
They're laying together and she basically tells him her or tells. Yeah, tells him her entire backstory, how she was the one that basically killed the princess.
And like went through that whole backstory, but then later on when she's with the team and they're all sharing their backstories and she's like, I'm not telling and then like goes and like distracts from it. It's like we already know like there's no real like, okay, like, okay, fine.
Like I don't need to hear your story again.
Yeah, like it was, it was very strange because it yeah I, I don't like when that happens when they're like, no, it's like hey movie. I know you're a movie.
Like you can just.
And then, but then they even undercut that when he she was like, this is who I am and he's the what's his face.
The, the disgrace general, what was his name.
Oh Titus.
Yes, he was like, I know, I know who you are and what you did and I know everything, like, okay, like, what are we doing here movie like why what is the point of any of this, like, why not just start with we know everything and we're here anyway, like,
dude, this is what like, this is how I personally would have restructured.
Yeah, I would have free. This is how I would have restructured chorus whole deal, I would have not had that moment with gunner.
I would have had her still avoid the conversation with the group.
But then I would have had Titus come to her afterward and then let them have a little discussion and have him reveal that he knew, like he knew the story, and that it might be freeing or whatever for her to get it off her chest, and then she presents the her history to the group separately.
Yeah, like have him tell like he was there and he saw the like he's telling the story and she was realizing like oh my god this is what happened whenever I killed the girl, which clearly she didn't like it doesn't show her killing the girl.
And then whenever the girl falls like she dies in a way that no one else dies by like, like little soul sparkles coming out of her or whatever.
And then spoiler alert for the end of this dumb ass movie they were like, the princess lives is like yeah no shit. We kind of saw that whenever she in quotes died. Like what are we, what is this movie.
What is it.
And what in the actual hell was up with the frickin senator like that whole assassination was such bullshit and weird.
I'm like, like a fucking ballesterious is sitting there he like kills the Queen and Queen very directly has Cora finished the, the princess and then he's like, What did you do with all of these witnesses around him like, yeah, like
Are we supposed to think this was all like coordinated by him?
Like he was going to orchestrate this.
And then since everyone was on his side, he was.
But then that still doesn't make sense because why is he yelling?
What did you do? Like it was very, you know, you know what it seemed like.
I said this about the first movie.
Like, we now know why everyone speaks with a British accent in Star Wars,
because there's a king and a queen out there somewhere like this.
And this movie.
It like it really thought that it could like
switch between what's the word I'm looking for?
Like it just went it.
It thought it could like switch themes to be like I'm science fiction,
but also I'm like high royalty drama.
And like all of a sudden we were going to be in the middle of this royal drama
and we'd be all sucked in because I guess people were watching
the crown or something at the time.
I don't know, but it was just not that it was just a very strange.
It was very strange.
There's people wearing very strange, like Illuminati masks.
They were just like, I know, like what were all those people like
orchestra was so over the top.
And then they just started playing super like intense music
while this assassination is going.
I'm like, dude, like that you not.
If there was anything that was funny about this movie, it was literally that.
Like the fact that they were like they had a internal soundtrack
like to these people getting murdered was insane.
Like it.
It made.
The way that I feel like we're supposed to feel about Ballas areas
is that he is some like great general
that's able to manipulate any situation for his own purposes.
And like, I think that's what they're going for.
But he just comes off as super unhinged
because when he's like yelling at Cora, like, what did you do?
And like multiple times, I'm like the way that I would have handled that
would have I would have had him like kind of stand there,
like watching what Cora just pulled off with like kind of a smirk on his face
and then have him call in some guards to like arrest her.
Yeah. But it is also he didn't have any weapons.
He she just fricking laid all these fools out.
Yeah. And that's the thing is like, I mean, listen, rather than screaming,
like he could have still said that.
But just give him give him the like all of a sudden he goes from like,
yeah, we did it to like he gets that weird look on his face where you're like,
oh, no, is this about to happen?
He's like, what have you done? And that's it.
There you go. One ominous what have you done?
And then you're like, oh, is this about to happen?
And then sees her and there you go.
She's the assassin. End of end of scene.
We don't dissect it. I'm sure as much as we're doing right now.
That's absolutely how it should have been structured.
It's I almost would have preferred like just to kind of fit that tone.
Like I think he should have gone up to her and like given her a hug,
but then use that to take her weapon from her.
And then he calls the guards in to take her away.
And then he's like explaining to the senators like what just happened.
And then core is just kind of in shock.
And then once she's out of the space, doors close and then she pulls the guards,
kills them and freaking bounces.
Well, that's how it should have been structured.
Not like whatever the hell they did, because he seemed unhinged.
And I'm like, dude, did she like is this all in her head?
Like, like what happened?
Well, what's crazy is like the first movie, she seemed kind of badass.
But whatever little bit of badassness she had in that first movie was gone from her.
It was gone from all of them.
Like none of them, the group they assembled, like none of them seemed especially good.
Like they just seemed like cooler looking farm hands.
You know what I mean?
And like and her even in that moment, whenever they were doing the assassinating,
like we've been led to believe that she can do some amazing things with guns and
feet and fists, and she did exactly none of those things to try and didn't even
speak on her own behalf to be like, it wasn't me.
Like, this is not that's not even who that character is.
Like they did not establish her as someone who's like, well, I guess they said I did
it, so I'll just take my lumps.
Like, no, that's not it at all.
So I don't know.
And I cannot go any further without talking about my poor sweet Jimmy.
I love that of all the people in this
movie, they named the robot Jimmy, but that I I seem to remember from the the
trailer for this movie that Jimmy and the gang were going to be a much bigger part
of this and they were there was no gang, there was no gang.
And Jimmy just showed up to do this.
Hey, what's up, man?
Anyway, I'm here to get this here paycheck.
My name is Anthony Hopkins and it's been good to see you.
I'll see you next time in Rebel Moon Part three.
I can't believe we're still doing it by Cape.
I'm like fling and disappear.
Like, don't get me wrong, they did some cool shit with Jimmy,
but they nuked his look something awful.
Like, I named two cool things they did with Jimmy.
Well, I like to like when he was taking out all the like the tanks and stuff,
like when he ripped that the door off, jumped down, took a grenade, just kind of
dropped in and like and then jumped out.
Like, I thought that shit was cool.
I felt you're not wrong.
But to be honest, that whole scene,
the whole fight scene of them when when they finally the dreadnought finally showed
up was so boring that I was like this whole movie was so boring.
And the fact that the like one of the biggest fight scenes in it was also very
boring, like I was fall legitimately falling asleep during it.
I just wanted more for him.
Like I didn't I guess I wanted him to see him.
Jimmy do like cool fighting stuff.
But like he clearly was like in the first movie, he seemed like the character
that I don't know.
I don't know if Zack Snyder wrote this movie or not.
But it seems like the character that they thought the most about like he I don't
know if it was just Anthony Hopkins delivery or if it was the writing for him.
But it seemed like there was something
there that we were just waiting to see what that was.
And he was going to be like maybe not the
main focus of like what was going to go down, but like he was going to be a very
integral part of it and he was not not at all.
He was just more extra muscle.
That's all he ended up being was just extra muscle.
I don't know.
The story structure here was just so off.
And like the backstories that we got for these additional characters, like I could
care less about it was different, literally useless.
They had meant nothing to the story that I didn't feel.
I felt nothing about them before.
I literally felt less about them after because they had those stories.
And then we're just like, they don't really exist in the story anymore.
So it's like, all right, dude.
And what sucked is they tried to give a big emotional death to.
Someone that we barely saw the Spider Lady.
Yeah, yeah, Nemesis.
We barely saw Nemesis.
And then she
yeah, she got this big emotional death and it wasn't emotional at all because I
didn't have any sort of connection with her.
Like, I just knew that she was like would kind of weirdly stare at this child.
Or this weird connection with this child.
And then she dies.
And I'm like, OK, cool.
And then it wasn't touched upon at all.
It was almost completely ignored.
They made it very they made a very big the movie made a very big deal about it.
But the characters were like, anyway,
we still got fights to fight and we're going to much like that dinner.
When we got home, we're going to forget all about you.
And they did.
Yeah, it was rough, dude.
I'm like, dude, you could there are so many other characters that I felt a little
bit more attached to that you could have pulled that off with.
It not her, but what you just you just made me realize something with her.
She was the only one like out of all the
reasons why like Cora went and picked up all these people from wherever she got
them from, she was the only one that really got to like showcase why she was there
in that death because she was like doing all her cool like, you know,
it wasn't even that cool, but her like weird Jedi sword moves or whatever.
And you got to actually see that Tarzan guy, whatever his name was,
the the guy that had long hair and he that he was a slave or something.
And they stole him away.
That dude, like what did he do?
He didn't do anything.
He didn't jump on a flying dragon.
He didn't do anything extra like any feats of strength or anything.
Titus, what did he really do that was like actually being a general?
And like other than saying, like, we need to dig these foxholes and I got to train
these people like you're not a general to do that.
You're just any guy that's like, hey, we need to survive this.
Like you're not showcasing the fact that you are a general.
Well, no one.
Go ahead.
I mean, I got like the him using the the wheat and like the.
The flower as like a shield was a pretty smart move.
Yeah, I will give you that.
I I would say that.
Yeah, I will give you that.
I don't think that that's like
it's not like high level general activities,
but I do think that that is I'll give you that.
Dude, I got to say to space travel in this series is so lame.
It's super lame.
At least at least we got away from the giant space vagina.
Yeah, I'll take it.
I'll take that back.
At least it gives you something to look at.
And just to prove the point that it sucked in this one, like,
I don't know. You said that.
I can't think of one time I saw a ship moving in space.
Not even once.
So there you go.
I remember the dread.
By the way, the dread not when the dread not came when it first was coming.
It didn't even it was supposed to look ominous, like coming through the clouds.
It didn't really like they almost figured out the right shot to show
because they showed all of those ships or whatever coming out of the dread not
and coming towards them.
But it all was like it all stayed tight on those ships.
And it didn't really show like the it showed the ships flying towards them,
but it didn't really show the farm.
But then right at the end,
when the ships were almost there is the shot I think they should have had
from the very beginning was it was like it was like them standing around.
The camera was kind of behind them and you could see the dread not way back there.
And then you could see the ships that were like almost on them.
Like, that's the shot.
Like, that's the whole thing to make it seem ominous from the very beginning is
like you see this giant bigger than life ship come through the clouds.
And you're like, Jesus, we're like literally farm people here going
against the Galactic Empire.
And how are we going to do this?
And they had that shot for a split second and then it was gone.
And I'm like, why just?
Yeah.
Just say it on that for a minute because it was so cool.
Yeah.
Such a good shot.
Like, that's like Zack Snyder is good at setting up like really good looking shots.
Yes.
But it's either he sits on it too long or he does like some bullshit slow mo with it.
And it's just it's too much.
It turns into too much pretty quick.
There's a fine line that he's walking and he keeps stepping over it each time.
I got to look right now and see because you know right offhand.
Like, who wrote? Did he write this movie as well?
I want to say that he did.
The screen. Oh, yeah. He was.
It was him.
A Kurt Johnstead and a Shay Hanton did the screenplay and he wrote the story.
Man, the writing score is going to be rough there, Zack.
Yeah, I thought the bat or the first one was wasn't great.
This one was worse.
Yeah, it was.
I don't know when to talk about this, but like this movie was so bad that it made
me because I had no interest in listening to it.
But it actually made me go back and listen to him talking to Joe Rogan a couple of weeks back.
And he did talk a little bit.
What's funny is I now understand why
Zack Snyder can make kind of whatever movie he wants to make because he's a very charismatic dude.
Like, I liked him a lot.
Like, I even liked how he was talking about movies until he started talking about Rebel Moon.
And then I was like the way he was talking about it.
I'm like, if I just heard him talking, I would be stoked for this movie.
I'm like, this movie is going to be amazing.
It is not the movie he was talking about,
like the movie he was talking about, we did not get to see.
And this son of a bitch had the nerve.
This is what I was going to wait to tell
everybody for in case you also didn't listen to this and maybe didn't know.
But I think he didn't have an exact date.
But like now that number two has come out,
there is a Rebel Moon and Rebel Moon to rated R cut that are also supposed to be
dropping on the same day that are little is the director's cut or whatever.
And he's like, you know, this is my true vision.
And this is the thing in the battle sequences and that.
And I was like, I'm like yelling at my radio.
F you like I am not watching that.
I'm just not going to do it.
Like if someone else wants to watch a longer rated R version of these movies,
have at it, I'll listen to your podcast.
OK, that was my biggest complaint with the first one was I'm like,
it feels like this could have been way more violent.
And I and now that we're getting an R cut, I'm kind of here for it.
But here's the thing.
I'm like when you hear him talk about his pedigree when it comes to things like
300 or The Watchmen or even the movie, I don't like that much.
But it's still pretty good to look at
Sucker Punch.
He's done others, obviously, but like I'm a I really like that movie.
OK, Sucker Punch hits a weird place for me, kind of like
poor things did, because I'm like, we're only seeing this because she is actively
being raped. So I this is a weird thing to enjoy seeing these cool battles.
It totally is.
So, I mean, listen, kudos to him for making that movie.
It looked amazing, like most of his movies do.
And like Watchmen, that is one of my favorite movies.
Like, I love that movie.
And the fact that the guy that made Watchmen also made the Rebel Moon movies
is kind of baffling to me.
Like when it comes to adapting things,
I think he is amazing because clearly, like, look at 300.
Look at Watchmen.
Sucker Punch, I think, was an adaptation as well.
Like, I I actually would have liked to see him.
I would you know what I would have rather seen because I know he wanted to do a
Star Wars movie. I would have rather seen him do an
adaptation of the original trilogy or even the prequel trilogy.
Like, I would much rather have seen that
because he seems to do adaptations like a great deal of justice.
But when it comes to something off the dome, my guy, please,
please do something else.
Yeah.
Man, the story is I'm fairly low on that, not like ridiculously low because I mean,
the story.
The talk, I'm not going to lie to you.
I'm at a 59 for the story.
59?
Talk me up.
Listen, like the way that I viewed this
movie was like I viewed the last half of Bugs Life and the pieces were there.
I don't think they were in the right order.
And I don't think that they were killed off the right character.
I think they killed off the wrong character.
They needed to kill off someone that we had a little bit more of a connection to.
They should have killed Gunner's dumbass.
Like, I love how Gunner has become like he did die.
But.
Did he?
Yeah, Gunner died at the end.
Did he really?
Yeah.
Oh, good.
Well, I like to know what.
Because Gunner, by the way, by the way,
that's how much I remember about this movie is I forgot that I still can't even
picture him dying.
I hated him all the way through because this unless I'm confused,
he was the guy that like sold out the village in the first movie.
Right.
Like, isn't he the reason why the original leader got shot?
Because he was like, I have an idea.
We have this.
Yeah, that dude sucks.
Like, there's no two ways about it.
Like, he sucks.
And our hero is like in love with the guy that sucks.
Like, he definitely should have died way sooner than he did.
I'm glad he died.
I will say that is going to bring my score up.
Yeah.
Talking about him a little bit
and was just making me think of the relationship that him and Cora had
and how they kind of became lovers that felt like it came out of left field.
It was super awkward.
It was very awkward.
It felt forced.
Very much.
Yet it felt as forced, hilariously enough, another Star Wars connection as Rose.
And what's his face?
And Finn.
Yeah.
Where they were kissing and you're like, wait, what?
When did those two start liking each other?
What's happening?
Yeah.
So that actually brings me down a bit because that was something that really
bothered me.
But I'll say this.
Gunnar was a little bit more likable in this than he was in the first.
He was.
No, and he was.
And that's what made me go like we're watching the movie.
And I'm like, wait, isn't this the dude that sold them all out?
And I'm like, why is he?
Why are they trying to portray him like he's something that he like?
Even the people there, whenever he was coming back, like they were no one seemed
to even hold a little bit of a grudge against this dude.
Like, really, not one person was so into their old leader that they would hold
just a tiny smidgen of a grudge against this guy.
That seems crazy.
Yeah.
I'm personally sitting at like a 67 with the story.
It was.
It was not good.
The structure was so off.
The tone was just.
I mean, it was a consistent tone, but it's just it felt all over
the place because of just how they structured everything.
Like we got such weird.
It's just the order of operations.
Like, I feel like the individual parts are there for a pretty like a decent overall
story. It's just the structure.
That's my biggest problem with this structure.
I.
The only I don't disagree with you.
I think maybe I do only because like I can't.
Now that I've heard the critique, I can't get it out of my head.
This is just an extended trailer for this movie.
Like there were no it almost seems like there were no complete sentences.
You know what I mean?
Like it very much felt like that.
I had to rewind a bunch just to make sure I caught shit.
I hear that right.
Like maybe that I'm sure that bleeds into writing as well.
But like, I feel like that's like an editing.
Like that is a story choice to just be like, this is how we're going to tell
our stories is like these weird choppy, like not like meaning, like not meaningless,
but like because the things they were saying weren't meaningless, but like
nothing felt meaningful at the same time.
Yeah.
Everything they were saying words, there was just no weight to them.
Yes, everything was hollow.
Every single word was hollow, it seemed.
So
I got I can't I can't match you, but I'll go 66.
This for the sake of it's close to the bad number.
Yeah.
All right. Next up, we got writing,
which I've got to say is a little bit below this.
Like I just jumping into I'm at a 66 with this.
I
is the same issues I had with the story I had with the writing.
The dialogue felt very choppy, like you said, very hollow.
And there was nothing of weight.
Like I feel like in a movie like this, you need some badass lines.
And there wasn't anything.
It was all these memorable.
Like something that you would go like, I don't know.
Like, why did I have a bad feeling about this?
Become like the like one of the de facto lines from Star Wars.
Like it's I don't know.
I
this movie is baffling to me.
I just I can't because again, what's crazy?
The hollowness, the emptiness to all of the words that they're saying
don't make sense because I still believe if you muted this movie and watched it,
you would think some crazy cool stuff was happening.
Like just because of what you're seeing and because of how they look like you're
like, oh, this is crazy, man, I can't wait till I can finally hear this movie.
Yeah, dude, you want to talk about some missed opportunity.
The frickin discount Conan the Barbarian when he was talking like this is one a line
that I felt like was supposed to have a ton of weight to it, but had none.
Whatsoever was when he was just like,
you know, the thing about like
a fighting for something, it kind of makes me not want to die.
And I'm like, dude, that was such an oddly phrased.
He definitely something about him wearing a shirt the whole time.
I was like, why do you seem like such a bro right now?
Not a good like I want to hang out with you, bro.
Like you're just like just a dude, bro, that I just am like.
I know it's like now you're wearing a shirt like you didn't wear one the entirety
of the first film. Yeah, that was your whole thing.
You were frickin you were going to be strong guy who when they brought a dragon
because they thought it was going to scare away the locals,
you were going to jump on its back and ride it into the frickin nuclear reactor.
And no, none of that.
I think I might have something to live for.
Yeah, such an awkwardly phrased line.
So, yeah, every issue.
And like I said, it's worse.
Sixty five feels harsh, but 66 does not.
Yeah, I'm giving it a 60 because I again, like things like we just talked about
the opening
dialogue or whatever you want to call it, the opening instead of the opening
crawl, we get the opening Anthony Anthony Hopkins or I guess Jimmy
giving like a narration of what happened.
That was again, super forgettable.
Like the just the whole Jimmy thing.
Like I'm very bitter about Jimmy's whole
even being in this movie.
Like that is a character that didn't even need to be there.
It didn't even he didn't even need to be there.
Like I'm happy Anthony Hopkins got paid off of this.
Somebody should have got paid for doing nothing.
And I'm glad it was him.
But damn it, son, like paying nobody to be the voice and have that thing do something cool.
You want to know something that I have a
feeling they're going to do?
You know, no, no, no, no, no, not a spin off.
I have a feeling that it's going to come out.
That the reason Jimmy has this connection
to that rando villager is because that she is basically the reincarnated princess
or some random bullshit like that.
That seems very right.
That seems
truthfully right.
I was like, well, you were talking.
I was sitting here thinking.
I'm like, what's like the dumbest thing
that I could think of for Jimmy to pull up, take part in this movie?
And it was that.
And that's it.
Or she was that who knows?
Maybe she was the princess the whole time.
And she just wasn't recognized because of.
I hate I hope there is never a number three.
Yeah.
Well, I hope you know that you've doomed
yourself to reviewing every Rebel Moon movie that comes out now.
Yep. Yep.
That's why I need those recommendations, folks.
Please give me your good to science fiction
thing so I can wash this taste out of my mouth.
Oh, man.
All right. Moving on over to acting.
Very excited to get into this
start.
This is a strange one for me.
I don't know how I'm going to do this.
Yeah.
So let's see.
We got Sophia Boutella who plays Cora.
We have Ed Screen who plays Atticus Noble.
Jaman Hounsou who plays Titus.
Stas Nair who plays Tarik.
I want to say Michael Michael Hausman who plays Gunner.
Seems right to me.
Bay Duna who played Nemesis.
Great name.
Yeah. Anthony Hopkins, who did the voice for Jimmy.
And then Gina Malone, who played Harmada.
And I think it's Jenna or maybe it's Jenna.
But she was the one that had the black across her eyes or whatever.
Yeah.
Like a little makeup mask.
I believe so.
That was very much a guess on my part.
Yeah.
She was another one that they were like, look how badass she is.
And then did literally nothing with her.
Yeah.
She was sitting in the barn just kind of like popping shots off.
And then like ducking down.
And then when she realized, I could take that thing out, she like
crawls down and just kind of like sneaks her way to this.
Basically,
ATAT on frickin that needs Weight Watchers.
Like, I know we're into acting out, but I just one more thing I have to say,
like they didn't need to assemble this team.
Like they could have gotten the people
that were there to do the things that this team did.
Like the only thing I'll give you is the using the wheat and flour to like
shield themselves against.
But other than that, like everyone was useless to be there.
I don't know about you, but
I had a real issue with how much wheat they were bundling at one time.
I feel like that doesn't seem like enough.
Same or how they would just like throw it on the ground.
And then next thing you know, it's like these perfect bundles.
I'm like, all right.
Like, what do we do?
And with the amount with the amount that you're bringing back and the amount
that you're putting in bags, like this is there is a wild discrepancy here.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah. I feel like what this was missing is
we needed a bigger pile of wheat because all we saw was just like not even to the
shins level, like ankle high fricking just like tiny asshole.
But like you can like you didn't need tools to pick those up.
You could have just like handed them over.
They didn't look heavy.
Like I was expect like when they were
harvesting this, I was expecting like the full blown like fricking wheels of wheat.
Yes.
And no, not that at all.
Yeah, we didn't not even a little bit.
But a big issue with that.
Oh, Jesus.
I know who my number one is, but I don't know where anybody comes after that.
Yeah.
Same here.
What's his how do you say his last name, Ed?
What I said, Ed screen screen.
Yeah, he was great, man.
Like this dude clearly was like, yeah, I have come here to have some fun.
And I'm going to do that now.
Thank you very much.
And I would honestly, I would watch it.
I would have watched a whole movie about him being mad,
like, and just going and wrecking shop places like I he was crazy in he he
his acting was how I wish everyone had acted in this movie because everyone else
was in a soap opera and this dude was in a movie.
Yeah.
Oh, dude, frickin.
I don't know if anyone else could have pulled it off the way that he did
the scene where he calls the that private out for lying to them.
And he's like, it seems the young privates chosen his side.
I was like, if anyone else would have called him out on that shit.
I was like, bullshit.
Like he was selling that pretty damn well.
But with him, like he just.
I don't know what it was like evil.
Yeah, he's just like he seems like a bad man.
Whereas like, yeah, no one else was believable in the way that he was.
Yeah.
So I mean, I the private played it a little too serious for me.
So like I was like,
like, I know that he's lying to them, but still like there's if he I feel he sold
the second one where that frickin this dude pull like called him out on.
I felt that performance was better than
the first one that he was talking to just that one commander.
Yeah, I got to see whatever he was.
Because the first one he was like,
he felt like he was very nervous, very like sweaty.
And this one like the other the second time when he was watching, it felt like he
had a little bit more confidence and it almost sounded like genuine
disdain for these like these villagers.
And I'm like, OK, I actually probably would have bought that.
Like the first one I would have been very
suspicious of the second one I probably would have fallen for.
So who's number two and three, Caleb?
That's the real question.
Yeah, possibly could come in.
Let's just start with number two.
Who is second to this guy?
Because
yeah, that's a tough one.
The only the only thing I can say is I would put Anthony Hopkins at number two
only because I just like Anthony Hopkins and I liked who I wanted the character of
Jimmy to be, even though he was nothing.
Yeah.
And I mean, that's
that's
I would probably give my number two to Jamon Hounsou.
I take that.
I switch my two and three.
He is number two and Anthony Hopkins is three.
Yep.
Yeah, I'm going to give my number three to Sophia Batella.
I felt like her flashback scenes in particular were really good.
Um,
but I think she played.
She's a good actress.
She just keeps getting put into shit roles.
I was going to say, like, I didn't really like her that much in the first one,
but I would much rather watch the first one again than watch her in this one
because this one was not good for her.
Yeah, dude, it freaking blows because, like I said, she like her ability to act is
really good. It's just
she just keeps getting put in bullshit.
Like going through her,
her filmography,
Kingsman Secret Service, she was the one with the sword leg.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I liked her in that Star Trek Beyond.
I freaking loved her in that.
Uh, let's see, Kingsman Golden Circle.
I didn't hate that one or that was just archive footage.
Never mind.
Oh, I heard it sucked.
I know we were going to watch it at one point, but Argyle, she was in that.
Yeah, but she has a really good,
like, just she's getting thrown in shit and it bothers me.
Well, she was in Atomic Blonde.
I never saw that, but I heard that was really good.
Yeah, that movie was really good.
I don't think she played a super big.
Oh, I guess you got nominated for an award for best supporting.
All right, never mind.
I don't remember that film very well.
I do remember her in The Mummy, and I don't.
She was pretty good in that.
The movie overall sucked, but I remember her being good.
You know, it's funny because I heard someone say this and it's 100 percent true.
I don't anyone who was in The Mummy, I don't blame them at all except for Tom
Cruise, because one of the main guys that was in it, like he had a story about being
like, yeah, Tom Cruise called me, he wanted me to be this guy in this movie.
And like, if Tom Cruise wants you in a movie, I'm leaving everything.
I'm leaving my life and I'm going to be in that movie.
I don't care if it is the biggest piece of garbage there ever was.
I'm about to be in a Tom Cruise movie.
Yeah.
I don't know if I've heard any, like,
super negative Tom Cruise lore other than, like, obviously his Scientology shit.
Well, he's not.
He has negatives so much as like his intensity is in such a way that like
it is off putting like a little bit like.
I think that's probably the only issue that I've really heard is just he's intent.
But I mean, I've also heard him like standing up for like
the people behind the scenes, like the the crew.
Yes.
It's like, like, have you heard that clip of him like basically ripping some dude
to shreds over, like, not treating some of the crew fairly?
Yeah, I think the one that I heard.
Well, maybe that was it.
I know I heard one about him being mad.
I don't know. I can't remember.
It was something it was it was during COVID time.
And I think it was when they were making
Mission and no, they were making what's the other one Top Gun, I think.
And there was some I don't know.
He was yelling about something because, you know, of all the.
I lost interest halfway through the story I was telling.
I'm sorry, I don't know.
Yeah, I remember one coming from that, too, where he was talking about safety.
Yeah.
And it was a big safety issue.
He was like he doesn't play around with safety.
And I'm like, I'm here for that.
I mean, listen, I'm down.
Like I said, I wouldn't pick.
I wouldn't like want to be on a Tom Cruise movie.
But if he wanted me to be on it, then I would be like, yeah, of course.
But yeah, no, I don't want to do like I don't want to deal with that.
I don't like people that are that intense about the thing.
Like when it's safety.
Sure, I want to be safe.
But like if we're just at our job.
Hey, man, you're the one making all the money here.
Why don't you relax?
Like, you know, who doesn't have any stories like that about them where they're
too much, but they still do really cool stuff for the cast and the crew.
Keanu Reeves.
So tell me more about how you have to be like that.
Thomas Cruise.
Like you can be chill.
It's possible,
dude. Total side note.
How perfect is it that he's voicing Shadow?
Dude, that's not I just heard that.
Shadow the Hedgehog for all of you
so uninitiated.
Yeah, that's great.
I am I listen.
Son, the Sonic franchise of movies,
I say is up there with any of the best video game adaptations of movies to date.
And now that they've brought Jim Carrey
out of retirement and Keanu Reeves into the ring like
I, I just I pray that they address that,
obviously, unless they do some like heavy modification to his voice.
But I hope they address it because Sonic was watching speed behind
Donut Lord and obviously Keanu Reeves is like the main guy.
They have like a whole whole bit about Keanu Reeves and Sonic.
And I hope I pray that they address it.
I love the Keanu Reeves is down for everything.
Dude, he seems like such a cool guy.
Dude, I think I talked about this one time on here, too,
but I just got done playing Cyberpunk 2077 and he is a character in that game.
God dang it, man.
There is not much that that guy cannot do.
Like it is a great character in that game.
I don't want to say anything else because it'll be a spoiler, but it was.
Yeah, it's great.
Keanu Reeves or Tom Cruise be more like Keanu.
Yeah. Oh, man.
Anyway, total side tangent there.
That's all right.
Yeah, I, I,
I liked her performance enough in this to give her in the top three.
But I do feel like she was definitely outshadowed by
the bad guy in Titus.
I would agree.
Yeah. So where where are you sitting with acting?
Well, that's the thing is old Eddie Boy.
Like he's really ruining what I want to do to acting.
Hmm.
But I still I think the highest I can give this is like a
I want to give it a 70 so bad, but even just thinking about it makes my heart hurt.
Yeah, no, I think I will.
I'm going to give it a 70.
My baseline for just average is 75, and I think that's about where I'm sitting.
I think everyone gave a fairly average.
I don't think anyone was significantly better or worse.
I think they gave a very middle of the road performance in this.
Well, I think there was I think there was Ed
Skirrin or whatever his name is, and then everybody else.
Like that was the problem is like he this was this was even though he had so little
time in it, this was his movie in the sense that he acted his face off.
And everybody else was like, all right, we're very serious and very again.
It reminded me very much of like a soap opera.
Everybody else.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I'm going to be at a 75.
All right.
Moving on over to character development of which there was basically none.
Yeah, literally none.
Like they whatever development happened in the first one, which was of like there
was some because she went from, you know, I'm an outcast and I'm going to live off
the land with these foreign people to like, all right, I got to protect these people.
And then wherever she ended that first movie with, she started at the second
movie and ended this movie with the exact same feeling she had.
I don't think anybody, if anything, everyone else kind of like whatever arc
they were having just kind of like dipped into like, I don't even know.
The arc wasn't even down.
It was like,
yeah, there was no there was no development anywhere that I can think of.
Yeah, this very much felt like a second half to a movie.
And like it's all the length of being a movie with none of the freaking effort.
Well, and where they sat around telling their war stories, that was supposed to be
character development time.
That's where you were supposed to be like, OK, well, look at this is where they
came from. This is where they want to be.
Oh, my God.
These people, I hope they win.
None of that.
None of that at all.
Yeah.
And it's all because we got her backstory too early.
If they would have held on to that and given us the backstory of everyone else
and then given us her backstory at the end, I feel like that would have helped
a lot, like add some mystique to her story a little bit, at least.
But no, this is fairly low for me.
Like this is where I'm like in the 60s, probably at 60.
I can match you with that.
This.
All right.
Where this movie is going to get a lot of points made up for moving on over to
effects, holy balls to this.
This looks so good.
It was amazing.
Every shot looked amazing.
Like everything looked exactly like you would want it to look like not the spoil
wardrobe or whatever, either costumes, but like everything, everything, like the way
they were dressed, the way it just somehow better than the first one.
Like it was totally was, dude.
Like I was.
Oh, man. I was just about to say that, too.
Like even like we were saying, like in the weird assassination scene with all
like the people in their weird Illuminati hats or whatever, like it looked again.
It was the thing.
If you had it on mute, it looked so cool.
You're like, what the hell could be happening right now?
It was.
You know, they have the black and white version of Mad Max, Fury Road.
They need to release the silent version of this movie.
I would watch that like it's score only.
No dialogue at all.
That has potential that would definitely have potential behind it.
But yeah, dude, everything looks like hyper realistic.
My biggest just like jaw on the ground
moments are when the freaking dreadnoughts in the air with the clouds.
Like that shot was incredible.
Short, but incredible.
Yeah.
And then a lot of the action sequences were freaking killer.
Yeah.
Like when they were exploding stuff in the fields or whatever, like it all looked.
It looked like it was doing damage.
Yeah.
Like if.
Gosh, I mean, the freaking special effects felt like they had more weight than any
of the dialogue when shit exploded, like you could almost feel it.
Yes.
And it was so good.
I actually know.
At least maybe it was just maybe it was my eyes playing tricks on me.
But I noticed when Admiral Noble had escaped and he was back on the dreadnought
and telling everyone to fire, I remember the first time after that explosion
happened and looking at him, it looked like his eyebrows and everything were
like cinched off.
I don't know if they were just like,
I don't know if that was the case or anything.
Like I said, could it just been like maybe his eyebrows were really light and he had
a bunch of dirt on, but it looked like he didn't have eyebrows.
I was like, that's fantastic.
Yeah.
I can't think of any.
Anything that I didn't like, like the only thing, the only thing that I thought,
I don't even know if this is effects wise, I guess it kind of is.
But whenever the daughter was
assassinated, whenever Cora shot her, like I did she like because it didn't actually
show it right. Like, did she actually shoot her?
Yes.
So she shot her.
But then it like she like burst into light.
But like, but did she?
Because I almost thought it because it looked like it was just something like
coming out of her chest or like her midsection or something.
Because you saw her fall backwards and you saw that
light coming up out of her with little sparklies or whatever.
But I don't remember like her whole body turning or did it.
No, her whole body didn't.
But like you see Cora fire the shot.
And so like it shows the gun and then it shows like the blast.
And then it shows the princess's face.
And then she's just kind of like kind of has that moment where she like launches,
not launches, but just kind of like falls backward.
But while she's falling backward, like you see like that initial hit of the
the blast, like it hits, but then it like sparks like the yellow sparkles come kind
of like flying around her. And then when she falls and hits the ground,
there's more like a yellow light coming from her.
Yeah, it's not like it's not like emanating from her.
It's like it feels like it's coming from like where the wound is.
Yeah. And that was the thing that like,
like I said, I don't think this is really effects because I guess it was conveyed
by effects, but like clearly something was different when she got shot because like
that didn't happen to anybody else and she was shooting them with the same gun.
So
oh, dude, how trippy were those freaking engines?
The dreadnought engine that looks like a person.
Oh, yes.
Yes. By the way, I was like in the midst of like trying to stay awake during that.
But I'm like, I do remember being like, what the hell am I looking at?
Yeah, she was like setting all those charges and then she kind of looks down
and then the thing looks up at her like, oh, yeah.
Like,
like, what is that?
That's one more case of this movie having cool stuff in it
that like it just is like, no, this isn't for you.
This is for someone else.
Apparently
that I am curious to know if this is true,
but
you never watched like the O.G.
Dune, right? No.
OK, so the way that space travel works is there's these like mutated like little
babies that are just hyped up on on spice
and that's how they like space travel is possible within the Dune world.
And so that's kind of what I thought was
the situation here, or it was like very heavily mimicking.
That.
Like, oh, OK, I see what you're saying.
I see what you're saying. Yeah, Dune.
I mean, listen, people can't see this,
but I have brought myself into this thing as slowly becoming a Dune fan
because Rebel Moon, I hated Dune.
I did not like it at all.
Not going to lie, Caleb.
My nephew expressed a little bit of interest in like,
you said Dune was bad, but like Wonka was good and Timothy Chalamet.
After seeing Rebel Moon, I think I might give Dune another shot.
Like, I know I'm going to feel the same way about it.
But like after seeing this, I feel in my heart like Dune might have a shot again.
I.
I want to give part two a chance.
Just because I do really like Timothy Chalamet.
And then if I like part two enough, I'll try and give the first one
another chance. Like, what's crazy is I want to like that movie.
Like I legitimately like I came into Rebel Moon or into Dune the same way I came
into Rebel Moon, because if you remember, like I suggested us
watching Rebel Moon, the first one, because I legitimately was like,
this hate is unwarranted for this movie.
Like Zack Snyder, give that man a chance and look at us now.
Look at us now on the Scargiver.
Just hating on it.
Like, it's just.
Anyway, effects I'm giving.
I'm giving effects.
I think I'm giving effects a 100.
Like, I don't know how they could have been better than what they were.
And I stand by any movie that you could put on mute and just look at and be like,
this is amazing. Like, how do you not give that a 100?
Like, it's.
Well, for me, pretty easily, I'm giving it a 92.
I mean, it's still.
Yeah, it's still well within the 90s.
But yeah, like they look fantastic.
Like, what would bring it from a 92 to a 100 or even a 99 for you?
Like, what could this movie have done differently?
Because I legitimately like I really don't know.
Like, what a move. Like, I'm not saying that there couldn't be movies that look
better than this, but what I am saying is that like this movie looks as good as you
could possibly want it to look.
To me anyway.
Yeah, I mean, honestly.
I don't I couldn't tell you off the top
of my head, like what improvements could be made.
I I do know that there was like maybe one or two random shots that I was a little
like, but it wasn't necessarily like on the special effects side.
It was more on the the action sequences.
I'm trying to think of one.
Oh, so when the original lover boy, the one that was super into Cora, that like
was proposing her and everything and from the first.
When he was fighting Noble and Noble killed him and then kicked him from the ship
and you just kind of see him fall from the ship and then like hit the ground.
I was like, oh, damn.
But like if like the fall looks good,
it's just like the impact was a little too like, like to.
Stiff.
But it felt like that it still looked like it had weight and stuff.
But it's.
Yeah, a lot of my issues came from some stunt work that I felt like maybe it was
just timed different or timed off.
Like I'm trying to.
Oh, like when
when the when the first dude comes like
popping from the ground like a frickin prairie dog with the rocket launcher and
Noble's just like, like it felt like it took a little too long.
I'm like, I feel like someone could have reacted
to the friggin in it before he like fired off the shot.
Like it should have been like, and then he like fires it off and
falls good with the world. But you know, it's funny.
I have the exact opposite feeling about that, because now that you remind me of
that, I don't know that anyone could have reacted.
But one thing that I did think is, man,
he is mighty close for having a missile launcher that he is about to shoot.
Basically 15 feet in front of me.
I know I would have been in that trench being like, I thought they were going to
park further away.
Like he was super close.
I was like, so they just all died.
Even this guy, huh? Because that's that's crazy.
Like on the bright side, it can't miss
the dark side and only get one shot.
I freaking say that, like.
Because I was just playing
three with my brothers and I got the rocket launcher and they were like so
close to me, so close and I missed
like my rocket went like straight past them.
I'm like, God damn it.
But.
Yeah, I'd say it was more
stunt work than anything that brought it down.
But still, it was good work overall.
Yeah, I can dig it.
I'm sure someone could pick it apart more for me and I would be like, maybe.
But honestly, the lowest I could see myself going is like a 98.
But I stand by and for now, unless something else comes up, I stand by my 100.
Yeah.
All right. Next up, we got music.
What is your middle of the road pick?
Is it six or seven middle of the road's five.
So five is like the equivalent of giving it a seventy five.
But I still like the score to this movie.
I was going to say, like, it wasn't like epic levels of like, you know, again,
this is supposed to be his Star Wars.
Like there was nothing in there that anyone's going to be humming or whistling
or there's no Imperial March.
There's no Star Wars theme.
There's none of that.
So
I mean, I would probably give it
probably like a seven, I think, is the highest I could go with it, because
I'm personally at a six because I feel it's like on the same level as the first.
And I think that's what I ended up giving the first one.
Well, then, yeah, because wait.
So what would if five is a seventy five, what would a six be?
The
let me see if I could tell you
because I think I might be at a six then as well.
Yeah, I don't.
Oh, wait, that's at the top.
No, it's not.
I have those references somewhere.
I can tell you where on my spreadsheet.
I'm just going to play it safe and call it a six.
Yeah. So the way that it's structured
or that the the music is the the giving a movie, a one is like the equivalent
of giving it a forty five, a ten is a hundred.
A five is the equivalent of a seventy five.
And then I want to say
it's got seventy five, eighty, eighty five, ninety, a hundred.
OK, well, then definitely six is the right call.
Yeah.
For sure, six is the right call.
Yeah. All right.
Next up, we got costumes and it has been a minute since we've
call or called some costumes out, but there's a few that I wanted to talk about.
Please.
All right. So first up, we got like the royal outfits.
Which I like that, by the way, I go ahead.
Like what?
No, no, I was going to say I like I liked all of the royal clothing.
I do, too.
I feel Princess Issa is summoning a little bit too much Princess Peach.
I can dig that.
I will say, though, like the king, which, by the way,
do you know that was what's his face from the only thing I can think of is
from the Saw movies, he's the guy that had cut his foot off.
Yeah.
I did not like he does not look like him, like that guy in that at all.
The king. But his crown, like when his crown fell off,
I like the way his crown looked.
But when you got to kind of get a better look at it when it fell off,
I was like, oh, that crown is actually pretty dope.
Like, it's I don't know.
Like, it's not like the normal king's crown you would think of.
And I like that a lot.
Yeah. It kind of had like the Caesar.
Like, like the like the leaf.
Yeah, I was going to say, like, natural looking.
Yeah. Yeah.
I dug that a lot.
And I mean, I love, like, just the color scheme between everyone.
Like even like the Queen's outfit is freaking awesome.
Yeah. Her crown is great, too.
By the way, what are those two inquisitors behind them?
Why don't we get any of their backstory?
I know, dude.
Like the masks in this are freaking awesome, dude.
Have you ever played or heard of the game Blasphemous?
No.
Look it up at some point.
Anyone listening, look it up.
And if you want to see the kind of like cool mask work,
like just about any mask from Blasphemous has kind of been brought to life,
at least in these two inquisitor looking dudes.
The whole game is like that.
I see you looking at it right now.
Okay.
Yeah. Those are pretty cool.
That's some like nightmare fuel.
Yeah, exactly.
Look, you can see the mouth or whatever.
The eyes and the mouth of this, like,
inquisitor thing behind the Queen, like that's nightmare fuel.
Like that looks insane.
If that thing was coming after you, you would not be like, okay,
I guess I'll pull out my sword and swing it.
Like you would be crying. Yeah.
Yeah, that can definitely be said about these.
Yeah. The next outfit.
Would be Jimmy.
Jimmy looked freaking dope, but I feel like they knew his headdress.
Oh, you mean when they took away his antlers?
Yeah, dude, that was so when he walked
in there and he didn't have his antlers on, I was like, why?
Why even show them with the antlers to begin with?
I know this is cool, by the way.
This looks cool if you didn't know
that there was a version of this with antlers.
Just so goofy.
Yeah, I don't know if you've ever played
For Honor, but it feels like there's a there are different like head
dresses that you can choose for your warriors.
And this feels like one of them.
But then they also have one with like big antlers.
And I'm like, I'd much rather have that.
Dude, that's the that's the druids in Diablo four.
Like, yeah, I'm with you.
Yeah, I love the design of Jimmy, like the detail that went into
just like the decoration on his chest and everything is fantastic.
That's the thing. Everything you can say if you were.
I wish we were live so people could be looking at this right now.
But just the picture of him, like you can see his blue eyes and he's got like,
I don't know, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,
probably like a dozen more lights on his face that are supposed to be just like
the mask on the mask, I guess, like
for as much thought as they put into this design of this guy.
Just again, it will never not be
disappointing that they just did nothing with this character at all.
He came into the game way too frickin late.
Like when he was talking to Cora, I was like, OK, I'm out frickin time.
I thought literally.
Yeah, I was literally right before he showed up.
I was like, is this dude ever going to be here?
And then he rolls up like a frickin fog in the night.
I was like, oh, here it comes.
We're finally going to do this thing.
And he was like, anyway, fog away.
And then he's gone.
I'm like, all right, cool, I guess.
Thanks for showing me the robot in space.
Yeah. So really liked his outfit.
I thought like super cool.
I think it's the next one.
OK, his beard looks super fake.
His his by the way, you will never
convince me that that's not a wig on his head.
Do no say, yeah, absolutely agree.
Bad choices.
The outfit overall kind of cool.
The senators in the background.
Pretty cool.
But yeah, this dude's
hair and makeup situation.
No bueno.
If you look at like, like right by his eyes,
like where they go back down towards his cheekbone, like it makes it look like
he's just wearing a like a human mask.
Like the whole thing looks fake.
Like it's wild to look at.
Yeah, I think they went a little overboard on the everything.
On the everything is right.
But I agree.
I like how they have like the again, they got the leaf thing going on,
like the Caesar ish like motif, you know, like this oversized, like dramatic
like suit, I guess that you could say he has on.
And you can see the people within the background to like, yeah, it's.
As far as what he's wearing, like again, it feels appropriate.
It feels good, like for what they're doing,
like they're being overdramatic and ridiculous.
And that's exactly kind of how they look.
I'd say my only real complaint with this guy's casting is I don't feel like he
aged up properly, like relative to Cora for someone that's like
technically her father figure and everything.
Like, I feel like they should cast someone that's a bit older.
Yeah, this there is.
Yeah, yes.
Like, I hate that I would I feel like it'd be like stereotyping him as just kind of
like the a great general leader, but Clancy Brown, I feel,
would have filled this role really well.
Who is Clancy Brown?
He's the one that does the voice for Mr.
Krabs.
You know, it's funny, I was just going to say they should have switched him and
Anthony Hopkins like he should have done the Jimmy voice and have Anthony Hopkins
be this character, I mean, probably too old, but
someone that is at least
because, by the way,
Mr. Krabs voice guy, he's eight thousand years old as well.
I know, but he's still like intimidating
because he like you remember that the prison break episode of
Mandalorian.
Yes, by the way, big red dude.
Let me defend myself for just a second, though.
I just realized, too, I'm also like I also have the younger
version of Anthony Hopkins in my head.
That's like, yeah, and now it's kind of old and frail.
Yeah.
It's funny because I was thinking about it.
I'm like, yeah, I guess that doesn't make sense because he is way too old.
Yeah, for someone that like is a battle
general or former battle general, like I don't I think Anthony Hopkins is kind
of a little past his prime.
All right.
Thank you. I thank you.
Ideally, for someone like that, I think you need someone in there like.
Mid fifties.
Yeah, I was going to say the same thing.
You are correct, sir.
Hmm.
Yeah, the the next outfit that I'm going to call out here.
Is Nemesis.
Yes.
So.
I feel like you've watched this show that I'm thinking of.
What does this outfit remind you of?
Or did this remind you of anything?
I mean, looking at it right now, it makes me think of like
her hat makes me think of the Wizard of Oz.
She seems like a wicked witch.
I don't know.
I don't know what I'm supposed to be thinking.
I feel like I'm going to say the wrong answer.
No, no, you're not.
It's.
I'll just show you because this is the when I saw her initially, this is
immediate, this is exactly what I pictured.
Is it going to be from Avatar?
No.
Ha ha.
Oh, my God, it is Crow Rick.
Dude, it's this like look at his his shirt.
And then go back to hers.
It is the same.
Oh, my God.
You put some wings on this lady and she is Crow Rick, Queen of the Crows.
That is so good.
I'm so glad.
Oh, my God.
All right.
Well, maybe my vote just went up to Iconic.
That's amazing.
Yeah, the.
I wouldn't quite put them at Iconic, but.
I do feel like the costumes in this are a little bit better than the first.
Yes, I agreed.
I think last time I gave the costumes a seven, I think that they've bumped
themselves up to an eight.
Honestly, the only reason I'm not giving them a ten is because of a goofy Tarzan
man wearing a shirt the whole time, like just looking like he's about to go to work
at an office like what the hell you're the you're the barbarian.
Like you're literally the muscle.
Like, what are you doing?
But I'm going to give it a nine, though.
Like, I think again, like it's shocking to me how good this movie looks.
Yeah, dude, you want to know some bullshit.
What is up with the fricking rebellion
coming in last second once all the hard work is done?
Yeah.
That's like I know I was watching like when they finally started coming in, I was
like, who the hell are these guys?
And then I saw that it was like the rebellion.
I was like, dude, day late and a dollar short.
What the hell?
I listen to this movie.
I almost need to watch the ending again because I'm realizing, A,
I didn't realize that Gunner died like I ever since you told me that he died.
I have been trying to conjure the shape of his dead body in my head and I can't do
it like I can't imagine him dying.
None of it.
All I remember from the end of this movie, I remember this movie happening.
And then I remember it ending with them going in.
The princess is still out there to be continued.
And I was like, no.
Like, why are you leaving yourself open for more of this nonsense?
Like enough.
Haven't we had enough?
Haven't we seen enough?
Yeah, evidently not.
No, evidently not indeed.
All right.
Last up, we got our own personal scores.
So let's hear yours.
I again, I just want to say to everyone listening right now,
if you didn't listen to Rebel Moon Part One that I was also a part of, I brought
this into existence for the All Brothers podcast.
Like, I truly came into this both of these movies thinking to myself,
this is going to be good.
Like the critics are saying this movie is no good, but they are haters.
And I don't believe it.
And I'm here to tell you, it's all true.
It's just it's not a good movie.
Like, it doesn't even I can't even go with you, Jacob.
What is wrong with me, Caleb, to say that I even think this thing has like good
bones like it's not.
It's just it's just not a good movie.
Like, it's not a good movie.
It's not a good sequel.
Actually, I take it back.
It kind of is a good sequel in the sense that like it looks better than the last
one did, so I guess it kind of is better, but it's just it's just not.
It's just not.
I'm giving this movie.
I am giving my personal grade to this movie as a 59, the highest F you can give it
just because I do think there were I do think there were redeeming things
about this, but like not they weren't redeeming to the movie.
They were redeeming unto themselves like
Atticus and Jimmy and they just yeah, the costumes in general.
Like they just they looked good in spite of what the movie was.
The effects look good in spite of what the movie was.
It just.
Even though there were good things
happening, none of it made the movie any better.
Yeah.
That you are not wrong.
Sorry, Zack Snyder.
Yeah, I
I see the potential of what this could have been.
And.
I feel like I hold it in a little higher regard, but yeah, it's not.
It's not the best movie in the world by a frickin mile, but I.
I want to like if if it's true and we're
going to get a rated R cut with like a little bit more in depth story and what not.
I am interested enough to see that.
This movie was two plus hours long.
I know, but I feel like there's some story like.
I don't know. I'm holding out hope that maybe Zack Snyder just has
isn't able to make short movies.
Even like I know this is long.
I know this is long, but I think that maybe he just needs
more time to get what he really wants out.
And I'm hoping that's the case because I hope the rate of our cuts much better.
Did you like the Snyder cut of the Justice League?
I liked it better than the theatrical cut.
Jesus Christ, you're going to make me watch this frickin rated R version.
Listen, unless it is like significantly different, I will not recommend it.
That is unless it is significantly different.
What he was trying to tell me about this rated R version when he was on Joseph
Rogan's podcast was that it is going to be significantly different.
But this is also the same guy that told us that Rebel Moon.
Like, again, everything he said about Rebel Moon was not what I witnessed when I
saw that movie, so maybe that's what he's talking about when he's talking about
the rated R version.
Are we going to watch this movie?
Listen, if we watch those two stupid rated R movies, I will do a quick review
where we just do both at the same time.
I am right now refusing to do two more full episodes on these shitty movies.
Well, hey, if part three and part four
come out, you're not going to have a choice, but on the rated R, we can
definitely do just a quickie.
Oh, God.
They're rated so low.
Please, God, don't let there be a third and fourth.
Yeah, so I think I'm going to be given this 69 for my personal score.
You're a decent human being, Caleb.
All right.
Well, with that, that wraps up this week's breakdown.
So going through these scores, Rebel Moon, the scar giver, has ended up
ranking or sitting at a gosh damn it.
Going through these categories, a Rebel Moon, the scar giver,
the story ended up averaging out to a 66.5.
Mm hmm.
The writing is sitting three points below that at a 63.
The acting got a pretty decent jump, sitting at a 72.5.
The character development of which there was none is sitting at a 60.
The effects are the highest point of this film, sitting at a 96.
The music is sitting at a six out of 10.
The costumes are an eight out of 10.
And then our personal score ended up averaging out to a 64.
So with that, the final all bros and untrained eye letter grade for Rebel
Moon, the scar giver, has come out to a C minus.
This is horseshit.
I quit. You know what?
I was waiting, but I resign from this show forever.
Goodbye.
C minus. What did Rebel Moon get?
Good question.
I had all these categorized, but they got kind of screwed up.
I feel like the effects is what really,
really made this movie go somewhere it shouldn't have been.
Oh, man.
Oh, man, dude.
Rebel Moon.
So just getting into these.
So Rebel Moon also scored a C minus.
Okay.
But Rebel Moon, the scar giver is sitting at a 72.75%
where part one is sitting at a 71.95%.
Wow.
So the scar giver actually ended up scoring higher.
So I actually agree with that only again on the effects
and the costumes.
Like I.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
Because otherwise, that was the only thing that set it apart.
Wait a minute. Which one do you say was higher?
This one was right. The scar giver.
Yeah, I said it was the only thing that set it apart
because otherwise it was basically the same movie again.
And just the continuation.
Yeah.
So
you want to hear what it's above first or what it's below?
I need to hear what it's below first because the above are going to,
I hope, make me and everyone else very angry.
So this is at the top end of C minus.
So there's only one other C minus movie above this.
And it's the the Tom and Jerry movie.
Huh?
The one with Chloe Grace Moretz that came out.
I know it, but I didn't see it.
Yeah.
So and then you're getting into sea territory,
which puts it below Space Jam, a new legacy.
It is below Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny.
Oh, it's below that.
OK, wait, wait, wait, wait.
So Space Jam, the new Space Jam is better than this movie.
OK, yes.
Yes.
And then Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny.
I will agree with that.
Then Saltburn.
Saltburn should be closer to this movie.
Honestly, it's really freaking close.
It's point nine percent difference.
Yeah, should be closer.
Yeah.
Then it is below Scoob.
I never saw Scoob, but that makes me sad that Scoob is so low.
And then it is below B minus or I'm sorry, C category.
Sorry.
Yeah. So these are all all these other ones are Cs.
Then it's below Venom.
Yeah, for sure.
If you're going with Sci-Fi, Venom was way better than this.
All right.
Going the opposite direction.
It is sitting above X-Men Dark Phoenix.
Yeah.
OK.
Dark Phoenix was pretty bad.
It's sitting above Morbius as well.
I've not seen Morbius, but I've hear it's not great.
So Morbius and Dark Phoenix are like the exact same score.
That's hilarious.
Dark Phoenix.
I would actually watch that.
This movie was so bad.
I would watch a lot of movies that I thought I didn't like again.
And Dark Phoenix is one of them.
Yeah.
It is sitting above Rebel Moon.
It is above Star Wars, The Last Jedi.
And now was that one that was just you and Rose or did someone else have a hand in that nonsense?
I want to say some other people had a say in that, but I do believe that they brought it up.
Really?
Yes.
So Rose, is it you or Rose that is the hater of The Last Jedi?
I think we both pretty much equally dislike it.
That's hilarious.
I have my problems with it, but anyway, sorry.
Go ahead.
It is also above Madame Web.
Above.
Ah, no.
Madame Web should be above this movie.
This was Madame Web was bad.
I would watch Madame Web once a week for six months, then watch this movie again.
Well, you want to know what I'm pretty sure it came down to?
I think it's because the costumes were better.
Yeah.
Because Madame Web's costumes were nothing.
They were just like, hey, you going outside?
Here's some clothes.
Yeah.
And then finally, it is above Cats.
I never saw it.
I feel like one day I do need to see that movie, though.
Yeah.
That is one.
The soundtrack saved that movie.
Like the soundtrack's freaking kick ass.
Yeah.
That's funny because I'm pretty sure with Cats specifically,
it got pretty much failing on everything except for a 10 out of 10 on music.
And then costumes, I think we ended up giving that a five or a four.
I forget what we ended up giving it.
Let me see if I can find that just for shits and giggles.
Oh, we gave it a five.
There you go.
But yeah, the effects is pretty sure the lowest score we've ever given anything on
Cats, we gave that a 31.
Even Food Fight or whatever.
What's that movie?
The animated piece of trash.
Yeah.
What did we give Food Fight?
Yeah, even lower than Food Fight.
We gave Food Fight a 33.
That's hilarious.
That is hilarious.
Hmm.
I got to watch that.
I got to watch Cats.
I might have to dispute this.
But yeah, so that is where Rebel Moon is sitting.
33.
All right.
Well, I listen.
I think it's for one of the first times ever.
I think we finally found a good home for a movie.
I think it should be in the D minus instead of the C minus, but I'll take it.
Yeah, it's
it's funny how the different categories will affect, because music and costumes
will always kind of bump something up.
Yeah, because this movie does not deserve the C minus that it has, like by any
stretch, and that's what I mean by the parts don't make the whole any better.
Because even though the music and the costumes were good, like the movie still,
it's an injustice to other C minuses to put this at a C minus.
Yeah, but.
But we did it.
Yeah.
So.
Yeah, with that, that wraps up this week's breakdown.
DJ, do you want to tell everyone where they can find you when you eventually
kick things back up again?
My grand re-entrance.
You can find me and my lovely wife, Bethany, on the podcast known as the untrained eye.
Look it up right now.
Check out our last episode.
I have no idea what it was, but it was in November of 2023.
See what the past was like
again with your recommendations of any any kind of good sci fi.
Please at untrained I pod at untrained iPod E Y E P O D on everything.
But I'm mainly on Instagram.
So check it out, man.
Or one day I'll take lady suggestions.
Well.
We will be posting or I'll tag all the
the places you can find DJ in the episode description.
But if you like this episode, want to check out more of our stuff,
you can find me and my hetero life partner Rose on anywhere podcasts are available.
All social media.
Facebook.
Not Twitter anymore.
Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn.
We're all at the Albros.
You can also find all of our stuff on our website, tinyurl.com forward slash the Albros.
If you want to hit us up with an episode idea,
want to join us for an episode, whatever the case may be,
the best way to contact us would be via email.
The best way to contact us would be through our email, which once again you can find
in our our website or you can just email the Albros channel at Gmail dot com.
Next week, Rose is going to be at a commission that week,
but we will be joined by Big Ben Bollman to break down the
latest remake. I think.
I think if there's any more like more
recent ones, but we'll be breaking down the remake of Roadhouse.
It might finally be my excuse to watch
that movie because I had zero interest in it at all.
Yeah.
Yeah, me or I was trying to come up with
like ideas of of episodes that we could do, and that was one that I had.
I've been wanting to do because I watch it.
I'm like, this is just utterly ridiculous.
And Riley was actually the one that's like, dude, you should get Ben since he's
actually seen the OG and I'm like, has he like talked about it before?
And he's there like I haven't heard him personally.
I'd be shocked if he didn't.
I was going to say, even if he has like, he's the perfect guy to be on for that.
Yeah. So we'll be or I will be breaking that one down with him next week.
And I'm super excited about it.
I actually probably going to rewatch it
because I was laughing so hard the first go around.
That's a good time.
It's a good time.
It's ridiculous over the top.
It's kind of exactly what I imagined the original being.
It doesn't take itself seriously whatsoever.
And but it's funny as shit.
So, yeah.
So you guys can look forward to that next week.
Until then, this has been the All Bros podcast.
I'm Caleb and I'm DJ and we'll catch you guys next time.
Doses so loud.