1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,560 Season two of Love in Context podcast welcomes you. Get ready for engaging unscripted conversations 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:14,240 with your hosts, Ben and Spencer. Our mission remains unchanged to explore the Bible through 3 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:19,880 the powerful lens of love. In this new season, we'll embark on a journey together, unearthing 4 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:24,000 fresh insights and gaining deeper understanding of how we can love God and live out our faith 5 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:29,360 in practical ways. So let's dive into this season of Love in Context, where love in the 6 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:36,000 context of the Bible intersect to transform our lives. Welcome to the Love in Context 7 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:44,480 podcast with Ben and Spencer. I'm Spencer. I'm Ben. And I'm back. He's back. So back 8 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:48,880 in town. Wait, what's that song that goes? Well, I never, to be fair, I never left town. 9 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,600 Yeah, that's true. My schedule just got insane. Yeah. What do we say? Summers are stupid. 10 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:57,200 Yeah. Summers in Alaska are stupid. Like they're fantastic. Don't get me wrong. But they're 11 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:02,560 also kind of stupid. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So you guys have been listening 12 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,400 to you were listening to me and Brian talk for the last couple of weeks and it was a 13 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:10,560 lot of fun. Yeah, I'm really kind of annoyed that that guy's leaving us. Yeah, he's too 14 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:18,400 great. But that is a huge pickup for Idaho. Yes, it is. So we're in our third week of 15 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:24,480 the book of James. And I just wanted to kind of remind everybody where we are up to this 16 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,280 point. You'll notice that I have, if you're watching the video version, you notice I have 17 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:32,640 printed notes where I normally go off my phone because Ben's old. Yeah, it's well, yeah. 18 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:39,400 Pastor Nick is listening. I also have difficulty reading pages. That's an inside joke. And 19 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:45,600 basically Pastor Nick is the oldest 37 year old you'll ever meet. Yes, it's true. I know 20 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:49,680 I have I have physical pages because we're now using my phone for the picture, which 21 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:54,360 by the way, we look a lot nicer, but it's really hard to reference the notes on your 22 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:59,040 phone when you're using the phone and also the computer is recording. So like, I'm like, 23 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:03,640 do you think I could justify for Tara that now I need to buy myself an iPad for the podcast? 24 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:08,360 Well, bro, you make enough money just to buy yourself an iPad. That's the nice thing about 25 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:13,720 being an adult. Right? Uh huh. Yeah. Also backing up to Pastor Nick, like I have preached 26 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:17,440 with him before and have had him be like, I need to print these notes off with bigger 27 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:22,280 font. Yes. And I was like, I was like, you are the oldest 37 year old I've ever met. 28 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:27,960 Like I was, uh, I would say that to his face. Don't worry. His father in law was I was talking 29 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:32,400 about. I said that Nick acts like a 75 year old and his father in law, 75 and he's like, 30 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:37,400 75 isn't that old. I was like, it is when you're 37 and he's like, yep, that's true. 31 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:44,560 That's 100% true. Yep. Um, so the last, last couple of weeks we introduced, uh, the book 32 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:48,640 of James and we talked about how James is speaking to a Jewish audience as James half 33 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:52,640 brother Jesus speaking to a Jewish audience in the Dyspora. So they're out, uh, not in 34 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:56,640 Jerusalem. They're actually dispersed out all throughout the regions. And, uh, so he's 35 00:02:56,640 --> 00:03:01,240 coming to them in the, in a very similar vein of fashion, like the wisdom of Ben Sirach 36 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:07,800 or Proverbs. And he's saying, Hey, as followers of Jesus, as a Jewish followers of Jesus, 37 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:13,080 like what are we actually going to do in this area to, um, be different? And so he starts 38 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,640 off and he talks about trials. I wish you talked a lot about in the first week with 39 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:20,760 Brian and about how trials are meant to actually refine in us to be the kind of people who 40 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:25,880 are, um, uh, to get into the next part, not just hearers of the word, but doers of the 41 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:32,640 word, right? Uh, that we allow God to use trials, both self-inflicted and world-inflicted 42 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:37,600 to refine us into what he wants us to be. And we talked about like, it started touching 43 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:42,000 and we'll touch a little bit more on this today with a favoritism and like not showing 44 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,340 preferential treatment because somebody has a lot of money or doesn't have a lot of money 45 00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:48,760 or they smell good or they don't smell good. I didn't mean to look at you when I said, 46 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:52,600 smell good. I mean, I've been working outside until this point, so I probably don't smell 47 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:56,920 the best right now, but also I'm just going to be real honest with both the podcast listeners 48 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,480 and you. I don't spend a whole lot of time smelling you. Yeah, that's fair. That's not 49 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:05,680 something that's regular part of my day. Yeah. Um, but then he, he, and, uh, this was really 50 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:11,160 what we talked about in the last week's episode was this idea of your faith. The things that 51 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:17,320 you believe in should shape what you do. Yes. Like how you behave. Right. Um, and with that 52 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:22,160 being said, that, that then pivots into chapter three, where he starts talking about the taming 53 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:28,120 of the tongue. Yeah. And we're actually going to read that. I'm going to open up here. I 54 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:35,000 got it. The book of Jacob, also known as James. So I'll just start here in chapter three. 55 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:38,760 I did, uh, make mention by the way, you haven't listened to that episode yet at the, at least 56 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:43,480 at the time of this recording, um, that we're not reading out of the NLT despite it being 57 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:52,280 your favorite. Well, no, I'm just say we should read out of it because it's the best. Yeah. 58 00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:55,720 All right. So charting it starting in the beginning of chapter three, it says, not many 59 00:04:55,720 --> 00:05:00,640 of you should become teachers. Very encouraging. My fellow believers, because you know that 60 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:05,720 we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is 61 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:10,160 never at fault at what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. When 62 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,600 we put bits in the mouths of horses and make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal 63 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:17,760 or take ships as an example. Although they're so large and are driven by strong winds, they 64 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:22,640 are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue 65 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:26,640 is a small part of the body, but it makes great boost. Consider what a great force is 66 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:32,640 set on fire by a small spark. The tongue is also a fire, a world setting a world of evil 67 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:36,560 among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's 68 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:42,880 life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles 69 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:47,760 and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no one, no human 70 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:52,280 being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison. With the tongue, 71 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:56,160 we praise our Lord and father. And with it, we curse human beings who have been made in 72 00:05:56,160 --> 00:06:00,660 God's likeness out of the same mouth, come praise and cursing my brothers and sisters. 73 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:05,120 They should not be. Can both freshwater and saltwater flow from the same spring? My brothers 74 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:11,440 and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives or grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring 75 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,360 produce fresh water. Okay. We're going to pause there because we're going to continue 76 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:20,840 on in our discussion today. But this is, this is when I saw this section coming up, I was 77 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:27,480 like, we're probably going to park here for a little bit. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So that is 78 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:31,720 quite the statement about the tongue. Yes. Specifically, this comes on the heels of not 79 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:41,600 many of you should choose to be teachers. Right? So in the context of being a believer, believer, 80 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:47,200 in the context of being a believer and being a follower of Jesus, we have this thing about 81 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:52,160 how the tongue is incredibly destructive. And I just think that every leader who is 82 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:58,480 listening should just take a pause and hear that. Yeah. Right? Yeah. So starting at three, 83 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,760 one, where it talks about teachers, I think one of the hard things here is like we interpreted 84 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:06,560 as like, okay, well only a select few people can teach, preach the gospel. Correct. Which 85 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:11,240 that's not what's actually going on here. Yeah. What are you saying? Is he saying when you 86 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:16,880 do, you're going to be judged more strictly. Yeah. And, and as far as like, and it's more 87 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:22,480 so like you shouldn't, like it shouldn't be a desired position to be a well-known teacher. 88 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:26,600 Well or I mean, maybe a better way to think about this is case. If somebody, if I don't 89 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:33,280 know how to drive and I open a school for driving awesomely. Right? And I teach people 90 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:37,000 how to drive incorrectly. Please call it driving. Awesome. That's, that's going to be the name 91 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:42,160 then school of driving awesomely. And then people graduate from that school with a certificate 92 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,840 that says I went to Ben's school of driving awesomely. And then they go out in their cars 93 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:50,920 and they wreck everything. I'm partially responsible for that. Right? Because they went to a school 94 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:54,600 with the assumption that I'm actually teaching them to be good drivers. Yeah. Right now, 95 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:59,080 of course there's personal responsibility. Like of course there's personal responsibility, 96 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:02,880 but there is a responsibility as me as a teacher. If I'm going to teach things to teach them 97 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:09,400 correctly. Yeah. Now every teacher that I know has made a misstep at some point. They've 98 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:14,040 made a statement that is factually incorrect or they connected a piece of a verbiage to 99 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:18,440 the wrong part. Actually you were talking about a pastor on Sunday who had a slip of 100 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:23,040 the tongue. Right? And they said they wanted to quote from Hebrews 412 and they instead 101 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:28,920 quoted Hebrews for quoted it as 411. Yeah. They, they quoted 412 but references 411. 102 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:33,280 Yeah. I mean that, that stuff happens. Like the teacher, he's not a, he's not purposely 103 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,560 maliciously misleading people and everybody knew what he was talking about. But when you're 104 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,320 teaching, when you're talking, when you're doing those things, it's very easy to say 105 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:44,440 the wrong thing. And I think the other part with this, this couple of verses here is we 106 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:49,920 need to have grace with our teachers because we are going to misstep, right? Like you and 107 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:54,160 I have the opportunity and privilege of preaching in church pretty regularly. We are going to 108 00:08:54,160 --> 00:09:00,760 misstep. Correct. Right. And it even says so right, right here where in, in chapter 109 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:07,900 three, verse two, it says we all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in 110 00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:15,240 what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So, 111 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,080 I mean, James is saying right there, he's like, you're going to stumble. Yeah. Like 112 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:21,960 that's not the thing. He's saying like, this is going to happen. Like you're going to stumble. 113 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:27,560 You're going to fall short. Um, so let's have grace with our teachers. Well, and I think, 114 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:32,240 I think if you compare this with especially what's been going on in James so far, right? 115 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:37,480 Um, if you stumble, what's that going to do for you moving forward? Um, one of, one of 116 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,160 the things we've talked about with teachers that we really appreciate are people who, 117 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:43,760 when they realize they said something incorrectly or reference something incorrectly, they'll 118 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:49,160 come back and say, Hey, I said this last time and that was incorrect. Um, having the humility 119 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:54,440 to say, Hey, I'm not infallible is a really big deal. Um, but how many times have you 120 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,120 been a part of a ministry where somebody says something incorrectly and they just keep doubling 121 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:04,000 down on it? Right. Yeah. Cause they don't want it to be up here. I don't know. One of 122 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:09,840 the healthiest churches I've ever been a part of the pastor, there's he constantly from 123 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:14,720 the pulpit would say, you need to know your scripture and you need to know it so well 124 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:20,600 that you can actually check what I'm saying. Right. And like, and that, that being the 125 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:24,080 challenge to the congregation of like, you know your scripture so well that when I'm 126 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:28,120 teaching that you hopefully are getting something from this, but you can also recognize when 127 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:32,360 I am not speaking truth and then you can come have a conversation with me about it. Yeah. 128 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:37,920 Well, and it's, it's so crucial as believers that we learn like the power that our voices, 129 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:42,440 that our words have. Yes. Um, one of the things that I have, I have struggled with through 130 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:46,600 most of my life and I referenced it in the first episode of James is that like, so my 131 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:52,600 son is diagnosed with autism, but I've noticed that a lot of the, um, things with autism 132 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:58,240 I also struggle with. And so low emotional intelligence has been one of them and it has 133 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:02,600 taken me a, it took me a long time and many years of marriage to really start grasping. 134 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:11,320 Like when I say things, how people react to them and that even though it may be factually 135 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:17,120 accurate, there may be a better way to say it that is more considered out of their feelings. 136 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:21,640 Right. Well, my, my wife has mentioned that about you and she's, and she's been like, 137 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,080 oh, but I know Ben doesn't mean no by it. So she's like, it's whatever. I'll just let 138 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:29,640 it roll off and it'll be fine. Yeah. It's a, it is a perpetual process for me. Yeah. 139 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:34,360 Um, I am, I am better today than I was a year ago and I hopefully will be a better year 140 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:38,480 from now than I am today. Yes. Children do a lot for that by the way they do. Cause you're 141 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:44,400 like, you're like, okay, how do I say this nicely while you are infuriating me? Well, 142 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:48,400 children are also a good gauge on like helping you watch your tongue because there's been 143 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,800 a number of times in my house where I've said something and then my daughter's like, oh 144 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:57,080 dad, what does that mean? And I was like, oh crap, that just came out of my mouth. That's 145 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:01,280 not something I want you to say. We're like, no, we're not like any, you know, and then 146 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,840 you get to have a conversation and be like, I'm sorry kid. That was a slip of the tongue. 147 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:10,200 I shouldn't have let that happen. Right. Well, and it's, uh, and perhaps the place that I 148 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:16,160 see one, I shouldn't say the most destructive, but in the church where there's a lot of destruction 149 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:20,720 with the tongue is in this form of gossip. Like a lot of times people won't necessarily 150 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:26,040 say hurtful things to people's face though. It is absolutely an issue, but a lot, there's 151 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:30,320 a lot of character assassination that happens behind people's backs. Yeah. You know, I'm 152 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:35,320 thinking of like, when we can think back to Torah where, um, Miriam and, and Aaron are 153 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,800 having this conversation. They're like, well, Moses has a Kushite wife and I'm not sure 154 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,760 how I feel about that. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, this conversation that's 155 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:50,440 kind of like not really helpful. Yeah. Right. And, uh, ultimately doesn't end well for them 156 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:57,800 in that situation, but, um, in, in our churches, in our, as teachers and as congregants, uh, 157 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:05,960 like I just don't know that there's a lot of intention behind our words. Yeah. Well, 158 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:11,240 can we pick on gossip for a little bit? Yeah. Cause I mean, I think it's just a good example. 159 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:16,080 Uh, unfortunately the reality with gossip is a lot of times when we do gossip about 160 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:20,680 somebody it's our perceived perspective of that person. Right. It's not necessarily the 161 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:25,160 truth about them. And like there might be elements of truth in it, but it's often our 162 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:29,320 perspective of that quote unquote truth. Yeah. Cause we thought we, we mentioned that briefly 163 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:34,960 in the, in the, um, hypocrisy episode is that we tend to judge people by their actions and 164 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:39,440 ourselves by our intentions. Yeah. So, so what happens when we gossip is we'll say something 165 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:44,680 about somebody, right? And then somebody else will meet that person and then they'll realize, 166 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:49,960 wait a second, what, what Ben said about that person actually isn't fully true. And then 167 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:55,880 what it actually does is it tears down your own character. Right. And so like it takes 168 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,360 it like, and if you're like, well, man, I'm trying to live with a good reputation with 169 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:04,640 Christ. So people can see that I am following God, but then you go gossip about these people. 170 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:08,200 And then, then other people are meeting the people you're gossiping about. And they're 171 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:14,840 like, wait, that's not fully true. Then you have this assassination of your own character 172 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:20,440 that's going on in your own, uh, your own reliability and your own trustworthiness. 173 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:25,240 Yeah. Right. Right. I'm growing up. One of the things my mom always said is she's always 174 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:29,960 like, yeah, I always look at how other people are talking about other people and that determines 175 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:36,120 how much I share with that person. Absolutely. And she's, and she was like, and, and, and 176 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:41,360 that wasn't like, okay, I'm casting judgment, necessarily casting full judgment on them, 177 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:46,120 even though there was some element of judgment there, but that was more so of like, Hey, 178 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,760 I can see how they're slandering people. So I'm going to be careful what I say, say around 179 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:56,920 that person, uh, for the sake of my name, not being slandered because I'm here for Christ. 180 00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:01,200 And so, you know, gossip can be something that is so destructive, even though it can 181 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:10,480 seem so minor and minuscule. Yeah. Um, somebody made, uh, there's a, there's that old phrase. 182 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:13,920 I don't know if you remember it is sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words 183 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:18,840 will never hurt me. I don't know if that's actually ever been true. Like people's, your 184 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:23,200 words can absolutely hurt people and they can hurt them drastically. I mean, I like 185 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:28,240 the idea of not allowing people's words to get past you, but I think in practicality 186 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:32,880 in real life, that's not true. Especially when, if you care about somebody, I don't 187 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:36,920 think it's a black and white issue. Right. Right. I think, I think there's a little bit 188 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:41,840 more of a grayness there because no, it's only black and white. It's right there. That's 189 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,080 we're only dealing in black and white today, Spencer. I'm going to buy you a black and 190 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:49,480 white TV and replace your TV in your house when you're not looking. And then you're going 191 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:52,720 to be like, what's going on? I'm actually going to be more impressive. You can find a 192 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:56,640 black and white TV. Oh, I'm going to do it. Yeah. I believe it. I believe it. I'm going 193 00:15:56,640 --> 00:16:04,000 to be more impressed with that. But I think it's more of a gray issue because like there, 194 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,760 there are people who have said some slanderous things about me that I'm like, okay, that's 195 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:12,800 whatever. Right. Right. Um, and there are other people when they say something slanderous 196 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,840 about me, it's like, no, I want to go talk to them because it's like, I have a great 197 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:21,560 deal of respect for them. I have a deeper relationship with them. Right. Um, and then 198 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:25,520 it's also like, I also know people who in the past who have said slanderous things about 199 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:30,600 me, who they say slanderous things about everybody. Yeah. And then for people like that, I'm like, 200 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,320 okay, I'm just going to let that roll off the shoulder. Yeah. Cause that's just what 201 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:40,200 they do. Um, so I think, I think there's more, I think, I think there's more of a relational 202 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:45,440 aspect to it that can be applied to the gossip. Yeah. I want, and more of my, more of the 203 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:50,720 reason to even bring it up is, is I think, um, you, you can do people a disservice where 204 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:54,640 they're like, oh, well they're just words. I was like, well, yeah, they are sometimes 205 00:16:54,640 --> 00:17:00,680 I was like, but it depends like how it's received matters. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Like how, how 206 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:05,120 what you say is received matters. Uh, does that mean that every person should take offense 207 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:09,320 at everything? A single thing you say? No. Does it mean that you should think about what 208 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:13,880 you say and how you communicate with people? Yes. Yeah. And there's, and there's a difference 209 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:19,840 between gossiping and venting. Yeah. Right. Like, so I, in conversations with my wife, 210 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:24,240 we often different people come up and we vent and we have conversations, right? It's usually 211 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:30,080 about me. Yeah. It's usually, it's usually me. It's usually Ben. Um, mostly because yeah, 212 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:34,080 there's a long list. We're not going to go to that right now. There's a, there's a long 213 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:38,360 list. We actually have it on a scroll. We unroll every night and we're like, uh, item 214 00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:46,840 number one, item number 47 to the notch. Um, but, uh, where was I going? Oh, so like, so 215 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:50,720 about my wife and I, we've created a place where it's safe for us to be okay. This really 216 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:57,300 frustrated me. This is why it frustrated me, but it doesn't leave that space. Right. Right. 217 00:17:57,300 --> 00:18:02,640 She doesn't go around and call Tara and be like, all right, Tara Spencer said this about 218 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:07,440 Ben. Right. Right. And vice versa. Like when you and your, when you and Tara are talking 219 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,640 and like Tara doesn't turn around and call Lindsay and be like, Oh, Ben said this about 220 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:16,560 Spencer. No, his beard is getting too long. Tara is actually a really good, like when 221 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:21,740 we're, when we're having those conversations and venting on about whatever like situations. 222 00:18:21,740 --> 00:18:28,520 And she's like, she'll say things like, well, it sounds like you're being irrationally upset 223 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:35,200 at that person and that maybe you should just take a break, take a couple of breaths and 224 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,960 just get over it. And you know, not necessarily like that. Like that's how, what I hear it. 225 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:44,600 And I hear her and I'm like, Oh yeah, you're probably right. You know, like, I want to 226 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,880 be mad at you, but you're correct. I was like, listen, I understand that you're, you're right 227 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:55,320 right now, but I am not happy about it. Right. Um, but there is, uh, and, and I think, I 228 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:59,000 think James does a really good job of really stressing this. There is a, there is an added 229 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,520 responsibility. The more people that listen to your voice, the bigger platform you have, 230 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:08,280 the more influence you have. Yes. Uh, it does become more crucial for you to be cognizant 231 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:12,920 of your speech. Yeah. Now I think that's especially important when we think about like this whole 232 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:18,360 kingdom of trolls idea, right? This idea of that, like outrage is what sells. Like there 233 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:24,040 are people who are building their platform by tearing other people down and, uh, in the 234 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:31,240 name of the kingdom, you know, quote unquote kingdom, the quote unquote kingdom of God. 235 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:37,520 Right. Uh, and the, the reality is when you actually just look at what James has to say, 236 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:42,080 they're starting fires everywhere. Yeah. Right. They've got, they've got their tongue, uh, 237 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:47,600 building fires in all these different forests. And it becomes really important that, um, 238 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,200 the more people are listening to you, the more they're relying on you, the more that 239 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:55,560 they are learning from you, that you have a humility and a responsibility in your speech, 240 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,880 that you're being careful about the things that you say. Uh, you talked about being a 241 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:04,680 parent, uh, as a parent teaching my son, what's right and wrong. I have to have to be a lot 242 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:10,480 more cognizant of what I say. So, uh, things that Tara and I may have said, you know, flippantly 243 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:14,520 jokingly, like some of those things, because we're adults and we understand how to use, 244 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:19,800 uh, just different, like, like I can use, I can use like, uh, some words to represent 245 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:24,640 like multiple ideas. And so like, she's able to track it. A five year old can't. And so 246 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:29,300 I use it and he's very confused. And so he repeats what I said, but when he repeats it, 247 00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:32,120 because he doesn't understand what's going on, it tends to be less appropriate. You're 248 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:38,000 like, Oh, yeah. And, uh, and so like being aware of that, um, is, is a really big, is 249 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:44,440 a big responsibility and, um, which is why I think we've stressed on the podcast. We're 250 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:49,560 very careful not to mention people we disagree with as much as possible, right? 251 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:54,120 Well, I want to trust that the Lord's doing a work through them, right? Cause like, like 252 00:20:54,120 --> 00:21:00,600 even in James, James is writing to the Jewish believers across the scattered nations at 253 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:05,960 the time. So like he's addressing people who follow Jesus and he's saying, Hey, be careful, 254 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:11,880 right? Be careful how you talk about each other. Cause, cause we want to trust that 255 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:16,240 the Lord is still doing a work in their lives. Well, and, and it's not just the destructive 256 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:20,200 side that he talks about because he also says like, uh, the tongue can also be like a bit 257 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:24,840 that you put in a horse's mouth or it's a rudder that steers a ship, right? So these 258 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,560 are very helpful things because like the, the bit helps to keep the horse on track, 259 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:33,240 right? The rudder gets the, like takes all the energy that's going into a boat and gets 260 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:38,400 it going in the right direction, right? But it has both positives and it has both negatives 261 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:42,840 that impact the way that you're having these conversations. And he really gets down to 262 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:50,080 it when he says with the same mouth, you bless God and then you curse people who are actually 263 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:54,880 made in the image of God. Like that's just, uh, it's not, that's not good. That's not 264 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:59,960 a good combination. He even goes on and says like, this cannot be, like this should not 265 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:05,040 be right. Because it's like, if you're going to bless God and then curse his creation, 266 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:09,000 he's like, you're actually doing an insult towards God, right? Because coming back to 267 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:13,200 Torah, which by the way, James referencing here again, mankind is made in the image of 268 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:19,880 God. Yeah. And so if you actually curse the image of God, man, yeah. Also let's, let's 269 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:24,200 go ahead and just like take one step beyond that. Do you remember, uh, in our Torah series, 270 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:31,240 like how often mankind is trying to step into like the cursing role and how well that ever 271 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:36,000 ends up? It doesn't end well. It does not end well. Spoiler alert for those who did 272 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:40,440 not listen to the Torah series, it doesn't end up Noah, Noah cursing his great grandson 273 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,440 or his grandson doesn't end up well. Doesn't end well. Then there'll be an a thorn in their 274 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:48,920 side, you know, all the curses that are loving it out. Oh, how about when a bailik wants 275 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:56,800 Balaam to curse the Israelites does not end well for him. Right? Like cursing, like if, 276 00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:00,760 if somebody is going to curse it is going to be God. Yeah. Like some things we need 277 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:05,520 to make sure to like leaving God's hands and well, actually, you know what? Let's most 278 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,360 things we should probably leave in God's hands and we should stick to what he asked us to 279 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:15,760 do, which is to, um, do the work, trust him and walk faithfully. Well, the things we should 280 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:20,520 take into our own hands are the things that God has asked us to do. Correct. Uh, you and 281 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:25,760 I and like you and I individually and us corporately, right? It's not, it's not what we think other 282 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:31,400 people should do because there are convictions that other people have that might be very 283 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:36,440 good for them, but might not be very applicable to somebody else. So, um, yeah, because jumping 284 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:41,080 to another idea from Paul, not from James, he's talking about this meat sacrifice to 285 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:45,880 idols, which is the example that's used on frequent. Like if you doesn't bother you, 286 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:50,680 like eat the cheap meat, right? But if it is like going to cause conflict in your spirit, 287 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,160 you shouldn't do it. But the not meat people shouldn't judge the meat people and the meat 288 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:58,600 people shouldn't judge and not meet people. Everybody has to live out their convictions. 289 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:03,460 Yep. Yeah. And so when we're, when we're talking about the tongue, we're talking about a small 290 00:24:03,460 --> 00:24:09,120 thing that can cause in measurable damage. And so that's why it's so important that we 291 00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:15,320 rein it in. Well, and, and, uh, with that idea, because remember these are not written in 292 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:19,600 seclusion, seclusion, they're connecting ideas. So he's has this whole idea, but you can't 293 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:26,320 have a salt spring that produces fresh water. Right? So who is wise continuing verse 13 294 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:32,040 and understanding among you, let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in humility 295 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:36,700 that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, 296 00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:41,160 do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such quote unquote wisdom does not come down from 297 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:46,480 heaven, but is earthly, unspiritual and demonic for where you have envy and selfish ambition. 298 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:50,200 There you have disorder in every evil practice, but the wisdom that comes from heaven is first 299 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:56,120 of all, pure, then peace loving, considerate submission, full of mercy and good fruit, 300 00:24:56,120 --> 00:25:01,040 impartial and sincere peacemakers who sow in peace, reap a harvest of righteousness. 301 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:06,680 Okay. So if your wisdom in approaching somebody and having a conversation about correctness, 302 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:12,600 perfection, isn't peace, loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, 303 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:20,160 impartial and sincere, it's probably not from heaven. Right? Now that doesn't mean it's 304 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:23,840 not direct. It doesn't mean it's not dealing with issues. Uh, this is hearkening back to 305 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:28,280 earlier in chapter two, James has talked about where are you going to look for wisdom? Are 306 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:32,120 you looking from the world, from your wealth, from your creation, like things you can earn 307 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:37,320 or you trusting in God for all of these things? Are you showing partiality to people who have 308 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:42,760 a lot of money because you're like, Oh, they got wisdom. They got to figure out. Right. 309 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:49,480 Yeah. Right. And, Oh man, the earthly wisdom versus heavenly wisdom. That's something we 310 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:58,880 could do like a whole episode on, but, um, but as soon as envy and deceit sneak in, uh, 311 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:03,960 at least I have found in my life, that's when the destructive nature of the tongue becomes 312 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:08,800 more vocal. Yeah. Um, that's what I found in my life. Somebody else has something else 313 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:13,080 that you want. Yeah. That's what I found in my life. When it's happened to me, when I've 314 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,880 seen it happen to other people, when they're like, man, I want to be like that person or 315 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:21,200 they become deceitful about something or try to sneak it around about something. And then 316 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:27,320 they try to justify that is when the destruction of the tongue becomes so evident. Yeah. That's 317 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:33,400 that whole idea of envy. And, uh, I don't remember when we talked about, um, the 10 318 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,960 commandments and we were doing the connection that Foreman does. And he actually connects 319 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:42,320 like envy with, uh, like this whole envious thing with actually like murder. Yeah. Right. 320 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:48,600 And like how they're like, I want to be you. So I need to eliminate you so I can be you. 321 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:52,960 Yeah. Right. Like that's absolutely a thing. Yeah. Um, I was actually thinking about in 322 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:59,440 my industry, I had this conversation with a, uh, with a coworker recently and, uh, we 323 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:03,640 were talking about success and I said, you know, the thing is that my success doesn't 324 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:10,240 diminish yours as like, nor will your success diminish mine. And when it does, my success 325 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:19,960 stops mattering. Yeah. Right. Like I think it kind of comes back to like, I have to keep 326 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:26,200 thinking back to like Kane with his whole thing of Abel gets the, gets the, uh, approval 327 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:31,920 from God and his is not approved. And like, is his mind reeling towards, there's only 328 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:36,240 so much approval that can come from God. Right. Now that's speculative. That's Jewish conversation. 329 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:41,520 I was like, but that's like the whole idea of envy is, uh, you grew up in a, in a family 330 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:45,920 with a bunch of kids, mom and dad only have so much attention. Maybe I should get rid 331 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:52,880 of the right Spencer get out. No, my dad listens to this. He did not do that. Just 332 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:57,520 to be very clear. No, no, we, we both have parents who have been incredibly loving. Yes. 333 00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:01,720 But, um, but there is, there is, especially with when your family is large, like people 334 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:05,440 are like, oh, well, you know, but that's not how love works. Love is able to, uh, move 335 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:12,240 exponentially. But to say that there's never a feeling of so and so gets more attention. 336 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:17,480 Right. My brothers and I have had that conversation about how they're like, well, you never get 337 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:22,080 in trouble for X, Y, Z. And you get away with blah, blah, blah. I'm the youngest. First 338 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:27,480 of all, I get away with everything. Second of all, I have had that exact conversation 339 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:34,700 with my dad about my younger brothers. Yeah. Um, it'll get a little too close for Spencer 340 00:28:34,700 --> 00:28:40,400 that time. Well, there's actually, there is one conversation that I can recall. And, and, 341 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,880 uh, my dad will probably laugh when he listens to this, but, but growing up, like my older 342 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:49,920 brother and I were like, mom, dad, can we get tattoos? And they're like, no, absolutely 343 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,320 not. You cannot get tattoos. Right. Under no circumstances. Like you will be in so much 344 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:58,960 trouble if you do. We're like, okay. My younger brothers, they turned 16, they drove them 345 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:05,320 from Washington to Idaho to get tattoos. And we were like, what the crap? And like, and 346 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:11,840 my dad just looks at us. He's like, get over it. And, uh, and so, um, you know, but they're 347 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:17,120 this, I, this idea of envy, you know, the wanting what other people have, right? Like 348 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:23,640 wanting, uh, I mean, an example, example in Lindsay in my life is like, we have, we do 349 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:30,040 not work in fields that make us rich, right? Like we're, we do not work in areas where 350 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:34,640 we are going to be monetarily wealthy within a few years. Yeah. I was going to say you 351 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:40,200 don't work in fields that compensate you financially. Yes. You're compensated other ways and, uh, 352 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:44,400 spiritually, emotionally, like a lot of those things. Yeah. Right. Right. So like we drive 353 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:50,560 20 year old cars. We always have, we, you know, we make our own tortillas at home. We 354 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:55,880 do a lot of homemade homemade food. Uh, I know how to fix cars. I do most of the work 355 00:29:55,880 --> 00:30:00,080 around the house, like all this stuff, all stuff that I've learned because we have chosen 356 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:06,960 a lifestyle to where we want to be a blessing to other people. Um, but that doesn't mean 357 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:11,680 that we're going to, but it also means that we don't have a lot of monthly income, right? 358 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:16,560 Um, not, and, uh, but it's really easy for me to look at other people and be like, man, 359 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:21,920 it'd be really nice to have a brand new car. Right. Yeah. Right. But the reality is, is 360 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,880 what's the car, what's the car supposed to do? Get you from point A to point B, point 361 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:29,920 A to point B. And what's a brand new car going to do? Get you from point A to point B. And 362 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:35,040 what's my 20 year old car going to do? Get you from point A to halfway to point B. It 363 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:39,200 gets me there most of the time. Most of the time, most of the time. Yeah. I do have occasions. 364 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:44,960 Yeah, there are occasions. There are occasions, but, but, um, but the point being is that 365 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:49,960 a lot of times the things that we are envious about don't matter. Yeah. And well, it's, 366 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,920 it's about learning to be content. And I can't remember which episode it was that we talked 367 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:56,580 about this. And I said, you know, I've had people say, well, you know, if I had X, Y 368 00:30:56,580 --> 00:31:01,760 or Z suddenly my life would be better. But that's never actually been the case. Yeah. 369 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:05,440 Right. If you're not content where you are now, you're not going to be when you have 370 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:10,360 whatever it is. Yeah. So, right. And, uh, and that's, that's for everybody, like across 371 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:13,960 the spectrum, whether you're of low economic means, high economic means, low spiritual 372 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:19,720 needs, high spiritual needs, uh, whatever your situation is, um, like generosity and 373 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:26,320 like, and, um, like being, being a generous person is not regardless, it's not tied to 374 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:31,080 your amount of money. No, no, I do a lot of fundraising in my job and I can tell you the 375 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:35,920 people who give the most do not have high paying jobs. Yeah. They're generous people. 376 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:41,160 Yeah. They're just generous people who care. Yeah, absolutely. And, uh, and I was like, 377 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:46,240 if you are, if you are a higher earning person, then you have the ability to show a lot of 378 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:50,960 your generosity. Like it's, it's a, it's a very nice thing. Um, but this comes back to 379 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:55,960 once again, we've talked about identity as I said, the, the thing is if you are gifted 380 00:31:55,960 --> 00:32:00,720 to make money, go make money for the kingdom of God, the benefits, the forwarding of his 381 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:05,520 kingdom, right? And if you are, um, gifted in ministry and speaking, then you go and 382 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:09,640 you speak and for the purpose of moving forward, the ministry of God, right? Whatever it is 383 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:14,040 that you're called to do, you go and do it for the kingdom of God. Yeah. And you shouldn't 384 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:18,000 stop being who God made you to be. You should go and do that, but it's no longer for you. 385 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:23,320 It's for those around you. Yeah. And so you have two contrasting ideas in this section 386 00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:29,760 of James, which you have the idea of envy and deceit and the idea of sincerity. Right. 387 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:35,160 Right. Like, like the wisdom of the world says, be deceitful, be envious until you get 388 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:39,040 what you want, until you do better, until you have nicer things. And the wisdom of God 389 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:44,760 says, be sincere about who you are. Yeah. Right. And that sincerity of who we are in 390 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:50,440 Christ will Trump anything the world has to offer. 391 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:55,920 So you're just talking about that. And I always want to continue on into four, what causes 392 00:32:55,920 --> 00:33:01,600 fights and quarrels among you, right? Don't they come from your desires that battle within 393 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:06,640 you, you desire, but do not have. So you kill, you covet, but you cannot get what you want. 394 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:11,240 So you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. And when you ask, 395 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:15,080 you do not receive because you ask with the wrong motives that you may spend what you 396 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:19,920 get on your pleasures. You adulterous people. Don't you know the friendship with the world 397 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:24,320 means enmity against God. Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes 398 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:29,020 an enemy of God. Or do you think the scripture says without reason that he jealously longs 399 00:33:29,020 --> 00:33:32,840 for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us, but he gives us more grace. This is why the 400 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:38,240 scripture says God opposes the proud, but gives favor to the humble, by the way, gives 401 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:43,200 us more grace. That's why he says he opposes the proud opposition from God when you're 402 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,920 in your pride is actually good for you. 403 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:53,120 I think that's a hard thing to hear because your pride is going to kill you. Submit yourselves 404 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:57,240 then to God, resist the devil and he will flee. Come near to God and he will come near 405 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,840 to you. Wash your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts. You double minded, grieve, mourn 406 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:05,560 and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to glim. Humble yourselves before 407 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:10,440 the Lord and he will lift you up. Okay. How many times have you heard this statement about 408 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:14,760 flee the devil and resist the devil and he will flee? Right. But it's actually in this 409 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:22,240 context of not envying, not fighting, not quarreling. Like if there is ever a time that 410 00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:28,480 Satan is impacting you, it's when you're talking to your brothers and sisters in Christ. Right. 411 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,200 That second of envy. 412 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:35,120 Yeah. And oftentimes what Satan does is when you are having a conversation with your brother 413 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,120 or sister in Christ and then you find a point where you're like, I don't know if I fully 414 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:42,120 agree with that. Satan's like, Oh, let me see if I can sneak my foot in that door. Right. 415 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:47,600 Right. Let me see if we can make this disagreement way bigger than it needs to be. Um, I can 416 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:51,560 tell you right now, Ben and I have had disagreements and there's been times where one or two I've 417 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,960 been like, what has been talking about? And then we sit down and we talk about it. We're 418 00:34:54,960 --> 00:35:00,160 like, Oh, okay. That's not a big deal. Yeah. Like, and we move on. Yeah. There is just, 419 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,680 there's just these things when two people have different brains, they think about things 420 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:09,440 differently and like learning to ask questions and be curious. Yeah. Big thing with friendship. 421 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:15,200 Yeah. So I've, I've learned how to ask questions about why Ben's brain is wrong all the time. 422 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:21,280 Um, but you know, sorry. No, I mean, that's fine. I'm going to send that clip to Lindsay 423 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:27,280 and she'll be like, well, what about Spencer's brain? That's a hundred percent what she will 424 00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:31,000 do. Uh, no, but it's, I mean, but I remember cause we were having this conversation and 425 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:35,560 we were talking about a church topic and I remember we were both talking about it and 426 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:39,280 we actually both actually thought exact same thing. We're just coming at it from different 427 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:42,200 sides. We're coming at it from different spots. And I was like, I don't quite understand what 428 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:46,400 you're saying. So I, we clarify and then suddenly I'm like, Oh, I understand exactly what you 429 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:51,600 mean now. That's just not how I was thinking about it. Yeah. And, uh, and I, I actually 430 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:55,200 think at that point when we were sitting around the fire, I was just, I actually mentioned, 431 00:35:55,200 --> 00:36:01,720 uh, can you imagine if we just went away thinking we knew what the other person meant and never 432 00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:06,480 bothered to stop and have a further conversation about it? Yeah. Well, I, I recall another 433 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:10,880 time this is years ago, Lindsay and I were having a conversation and we were saying the 434 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:16,360 same thing. We were coming at it from a very different, like from different lenses and 435 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:20,360 we were just going at it being like, we'll be like, what are you talking about? And like 436 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:24,280 doing all this stuff. We worked together at the time and there was an intern that was 437 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:29,440 working with us and our intern who was like 10 years younger than us was like, you're 438 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:35,200 saying the same thing. And we're like, Oh, we are. That's right. Okay. That's just like, 439 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,480 are they like, but the intern was like quiet for a long time because she was like super 440 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:42,080 stressed of like, Oh, what's going on? They're fighting and then why are they fighting? And 441 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,000 then then they're like, Oh, we are. And then we're good. And then, uh, then the intern 442 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,920 was like, wait, you guys are okay. And I was like, yeah, we're fine. We were just having 443 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:53,640 a conversation. Yeah. Like, you know, like we're good because we realized we're saying 444 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:57,200 the same thing. We're just going to let the past be the past. I mean, I think this comes 445 00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:01,760 back down. This comes back to first Corinthians 13 when Paul is talking about, when he's talking 446 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:05,760 about love, right? But he says one of the trademarks of love is not holding records 447 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:10,900 wrong. Right. Do you think maybe some of the issue that sometimes we run into when we're 448 00:37:10,900 --> 00:37:15,400 talking about loving people is that we think that love is the absence of conflict. I think 449 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,720 so. And that's just not going to be true. Like there's going to be conflict. We're going 450 00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:22,080 to disagree. We're different people. We think about things differently. There's going to 451 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:26,960 be conflict. But the question is, is my love for you greater than our conflict? Yes. Um, 452 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:31,040 I have a story actually that I think is great about not understanding each other. So when 453 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:36,320 Tara and I lived in Vancouver, Washington, we were, um, it was a very busy day. I can't 454 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:40,440 remember what happened, but I had one of those nights where, um, I was not over 30 at that 455 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:44,180 point, but I had one of those over 30 nights where you sleep on your neck wrong and you 456 00:37:44,180 --> 00:37:48,340 wake up and everything hurts. Right. So I had a really bad headache. So we went and 457 00:37:48,340 --> 00:37:53,360 I can't remember. We went to like a, like a, um, garage sale and some different things 458 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:58,520 and Tara had to work in about an hour and a half. So we were heading back and we stopped 459 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:02,280 at the drive through to get McDonald's, not a sponsor. And Nick, yes, I understand there 460 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,080 are other restaurants besides McDonald's. That's just where we went. And this is how 461 00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:10,440 the story goes. Um, so we stopped at McDonald's and I asked her what she wanted. She told 462 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:15,120 me what she wanted. We go home. I wasn't thinking anything of anything. Um, we go home and we're 463 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:18,840 sitting down and I'm going and, uh, and I dropped some, some fries on the floor and 464 00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,840 I was like, ah, and I, and I was like really upset. And she's like, what? Like, she like 465 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:26,720 screams and I'm like, nothing. I dropped fries on the floor and I was just annoyed. And then 466 00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:33,440 I bring the food out to her and, uh, and I put it on there and then, um, and then I went 467 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:37,520 to go grab the bag that had like the burgers in it. As I went to go grab it, the whole 468 00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:44,000 bag ripped, like my fingers went right through it and I threw them across the room. Right. 469 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:48,280 And uh, so some of you are like just visualizing this and it's, it's just, it was not great. 470 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:53,000 Uh, and then it's Tara. She stands up, she takes her fries and she throws them on the 471 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:59,160 couch. Right. And then she picks up her drink, thinks better of it and sets it down and walks 472 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:02,720 out of the room and goes upstairs to our bedroom. And I'm about to go out to her to figure out 473 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:07,240 what the heck just happened. Cause I'm confused. And as I'm going, I kicked the drink over 474 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:11,520 and knocked it all the way under our area car, our carpet. Right. So this big supersize 475 00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:15,320 drink. Yeah. I was, we were having a day. So then I'm cleaning it up and I finally get 476 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,580 upstairs and Tara, you have to go to work in 45 minutes, come downstairs and eat. She 477 00:39:18,580 --> 00:39:24,880 comes down and she says, she says, why are you, why are you so mad at me? And I'm like, 478 00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:29,720 I'm not mad at you at all. Now Tara tells her perspective and I'd been quiet. I've been 479 00:39:29,720 --> 00:39:33,560 distant. I hadn't been saying anything because I was hurting. She didn't know I was hurting. 480 00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:37,460 Right. Um, I came home, she heard me like I ordered food. I'm like, what do you want? 481 00:39:37,460 --> 00:39:44,080 You know, like tonality, how you say things matters. I come home and I, I, uh, yell because 482 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:48,000 I dropped stuff on the floor. I bring her her food and then I throw burgers across the 483 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:52,760 room. Right. And she's just like, I'm done with this because this is the, this is the 484 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:56,120 tipping point. And she goes upstairs and we have this conversation. I was like, so what 485 00:39:56,120 --> 00:40:02,560 are we fighting about? Oh, we're fighting about nothing. Literally nothing right now. 486 00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:08,280 And uh, like learning to understand each other is a big deal. Yeah. Like that's that, that 487 00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,760 is how our story, like that's how it happened because like we weren't taking the time to 488 00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:16,880 be like, Hey, why is this happening? Yeah. And sometimes when you take the time to understand 489 00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:23,240 things, you're like, Oh, this, there's an easy solution for this. Right. So, so I mean, 490 00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:29,160 for me and my ADHD, like if things are behind closed doors, they're gone. They don't exist. 491 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:35,640 I don't remember they're there type thing. So are you, are you like a puppy or a bird? 492 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:40,400 If we put like a blanket over your face, do you think it's night? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, 493 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:44,760 not that bad. Not that bad. Not that bad. So, so, but like Lindsay would always like 494 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:49,040 for the longest time in our marriage, she was like, why do you not put dishes back where 495 00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:53,560 they go? And I was like, I was like, cause I don't really know like legitimately, I 496 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:55,960 was like, I don't really know where they go. She's like, how do you not know where they 497 00:40:55,960 --> 00:41:00,760 go? I was like, because literally like once it goes behind a closed door, I don't like, 498 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:06,600 I just, it's gone. Like it's out of my mind. If you would like to send a sympathy cards 499 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:12,560 to Lindsay, you can send them to love and context care of gmail.com. Yeah. Yeah. Right. 500 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:18,320 And, and so she's like, so it frustrated her for years. And then finally she was like, 501 00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:22,360 she was like, you know what? She's like, I think I have a solution. And she did, we just 502 00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:26,760 took all the cabinet doors off. Perfect. Right. And then I saw where everything went and I 503 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:31,400 just put it away when I did dishes. And then she was like, that's all it took. So apparently 504 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:36,320 what we need to do is get you cabinet doors, but glass ones. Uh, so you can see through. 505 00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,360 I mean, you could try that. Yeah. I probably still wouldn't work. Uh, yeah. I mean, if 506 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,840 I, I mean, as long as I can see it, it's fine. But like, but you know, that's, that's, she 507 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,480 always complains about my office being a mess too, because it's the same thing. Like I don't 508 00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:50,000 spend a ton of time in there. And so then when I go in there, I'm like, oh yeah, I haven't 509 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:55,280 been in here in a while. And then I have to clean it up. Right. Right. And so, um, but 510 00:41:55,280 --> 00:42:01,800 a lot of times these quarrels that we have, um, these quarrels that we have, they're very 511 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:06,920 simple solutions, but a lot of times we hang onto them for whatever reason, because of 512 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:11,680 maybe we want to prove ourselves. Right. Maybe when we want to prove the other person wrong, 513 00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:15,520 just because we have something against that person. Right. Right. I don't know. I'm not, 514 00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:20,440 I can't fill in the blank for you. Yeah. But, but a lot of times if we just sat down, had 515 00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:25,940 a conversation, we can figure out a easy solution. Maybe if you had an unscripted conversation 516 00:42:25,940 --> 00:42:30,720 with your friends, right? Exactly. Referencing like why we do our podcasts in general is 517 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:35,620 there's not enough times that Christians just sit down and talk and work their things out. 518 00:42:35,620 --> 00:42:40,640 So in today's episode, we were talking about like, it's, it was the, the tongue, you got 519 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:45,200 to be careful. I was like, especially if you're going to be in any sort of like elevated position. 520 00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,800 Yeah. Like you need to be considered what you're saying. You got to seek the right wisdom. 521 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:54,000 I wanted to finish off the last two verses, um, in 11 and 12, uh, not the last two verses 522 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,440 of chapter four, but the last two verses we're going to cover today, because I think this 523 00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:01,920 is James is a really good job. That is summing up what we're talking about. Brothers and 524 00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:07,320 sisters do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or 525 00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:14,480 judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping 526 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:19,560 it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one law giver and judge the one who is 527 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:28,880 able to save and destroy, but you, who are you to judge your neighbor? That's a really 528 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:33,760 good place to leave that. Right? When you, when you're standing in judgment, don't slander, 529 00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,560 don't judge when you're actually standing in judgment, you're actually standing against 530 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:42,760 the actual law. Now in James's case, he's referencing Torah and who was the Torah made 531 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:49,000 flesh? So when we're actually slandering, it's equivalent essentially to a slandering 532 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:55,160 Christ, right? Slandering his body, his bride, right? Probably not a good position for us 533 00:43:55,160 --> 00:44:00,840 to be in. So we gotta be so careful. So careful. And we are going to make mistakes, a hundred 534 00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:06,960 percent guarantee you will make mistakes, but consider it pure joy because every mistake 535 00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:14,280 that you made and every mistake that you walk with and every, um, discomfort, every, uh, 536 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:19,640 piece of suffering that you go through, God will use to refine you into a better, more 537 00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:26,880 clear version of Jesus. Yeah. And nothing is going to be wasted. So true. So with that, 538 00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,740 I think we're going to be done with James for today and we're going to be back next 539 00:44:29,740 --> 00:44:35,520 week finishing or not finishing. I said finishing. We'll be back next week continuing on in the 540 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:40,080 book of James. If you have any questions or anything, please feel free to comment or send 541 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:45,040 us information for the Q and a that will be coming up in just a little bit. Yep. Till 542 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:51,620 next time. And that's a wrap for today's episode of love and context. We hope you enjoyed this 543 00:44:51,620 --> 00:44:55,400 engaging conversation and gained valuable insights into the powerful message of love 544 00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:59,980 within the Bible. We'd love to hear from you and continue the conversation. Connect with 545 00:44:59,980 --> 00:45:06,200 us by sending us your questions, thoughts, and suggestions to love and context at gmail.com. 546 00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:11,620 We greatly appreciate your feedback and ideas for future episodes. Stay connected with us 547 00:45:11,620 --> 00:45:16,200 on social media for updates, behind the scenes content and additional resources. You can 548 00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:21,120 find us on Instagram, tick tock, YouTube and Facebook at love and context. Don't forget 549 00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:24,800 to hit that follow button to stay up to date with the latest episodes and join our growing 550 00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:29,360 community. Thank you for being part of the love and context family. Remember love is 551 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:34,320 at the heart of it all. Until next time, keep seeking wisdom, embracing love and living 552 00:45:34,320 --> 00:46:00,960 out your faith in the context of today's world.