Before I was diagnosed and even after and I didn't know a lot, this disorder would just
really take a hold of me and I really didn't know how to control it.
And I'm not saying that I'm perfect now.
I still have moments, but I know that if I'm not taking care of myself, if I'm not paying
attention to the signs, it will take a hold of me.
You're listening to the Shingles at 40 podcast, a podcast where we talk about this complex
and fascinating thing called Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, ADHD.
My name is Donavan Robinson and I'll be your host as we explore what is ADHD really, what
you can do if you suspect you may have it, tips and tricks to help you manage the disorder
and how this can actually be a superpower.
Hello everybody.
Thank you for joining me on episode one of Shingles at 40.
I know an odd name for a podcast about ADHD, but let's talk about why I decided to come
up with that as a title a little bit later.
I am a entrepreneur, dad, husband, a proud Red River Métis citizen.
I have owned and operated several businesses and I've had a lot of different jobs in my
lifetime which now makes a lot of sense given the fact that I have ADHD.
I currently live in the great city of Winnipeg and that is not me being sarcastic.
I actually do love this city and I think it is such a great place to live.
I currently am the founder and owner of a management consulting agency.
Since 2005, I co-own a live music venue called the Goodwill Social Club that is going on
its 10th year.
So why a podcast about ADHD and why am I an expert on this topic?
Well the thing is I am not an expert.
I wanted to start this podcast because I was diagnosed in my 40s and I'm 45 now and I wanted
to learn and absorb as much information as possible and share what I've learned with
all of you if you want to listen.
I can honestly say that this would be one of the most significant moments in my life
because it changed how I saw myself and the world and how knowing how my brain works and
how I can manage this disorder has given me this confidence that I didn't have for the
majority of my life.
From an outside perspective it probably seemed somewhat normal but inside I was really confused
and always knew there was something that was not like other people.
Likely my life would be significantly different if I knew what I know now.
But right now this is my life.
This is the life I want.
This is where I need to be.
Yeah there are good days and there are bad days but these are the cards that were dealt.
Maybe I didn't think my hand was all that great growing up and throughout my life but
given this new found knowledge and taking a step back and looking at my life I am where
I need to be and it's pretty good.
I got a pretty good hand here and I'm going to go all in with it.
And yeah I'm going to use a lot of cheesy analogies too.
I also want to clarify that I am not a doctor or a medical professional so if you do think
you have ADHD or are neurodivergent please see your doctor or consult a medical professional.
So I grew up in a small town called Dryden, Ontario and for most of my life I thought
I was not quote a smart kid.
I would get into a lot of trouble in school.
I was disruptive and oddly enough I remember it was picture day grade 2 or 3.
I had a sweater on and underneath a t-shirt it was hot I'm assuming.
I took that sweater off and underneath I had a Bart Simpson shirt that said underachiever
really big at the top and that was the shirt that was very visible in my class photos.
So that was quite funny.
But I was a very emotional kid.
I would have emotional outbursts in class.
If I was told to do something I didn't want to do.
I was put in a split class with the older kids, with the younger kids so I was the older
grade with the younger grade.
So for me I didn't think I was as smart as other kids.
And it really made me not as confident as I should have been.
And the thing that really stood out for me when I was a kid was in elementary school
I remember I got kicked out of the classroom for probably being disruptive.
I remember being really emotional and I was sent into the hall and it was grade 4 and
I was crying in the hallway and one of the other teachers was walking down the hall and
she looked at me and I won't say her name but she looked at me and said look at you
little baby crying.
Aren't you embarrassed?
And for the longest time that just stuck with me and it made me feel like something was
wrong with me.
And looking back now for a grown adult to look at a child who is in distress clearly
and say that to them, yeah there's probably something wrong with you.
Moving into my high school years I remember starting out school and just really wanted
to be part of that popular group but feeling I was not as smart, not as cool as they were.
I didn't do well in classes like math and English but I did do really well in like art
and gym and things that I really enjoyed and I excelled in sports later in high school.
The one thing I do remember, I really wanted to take classes like woodworking and those
trades type courses but there was this perception in my day, there was this perception that
taking those courses was like the easy way out and you weren't as intelligent.
And looking back now and seeing the people who are doing this stuff today and excelling
and you know they're some of the smartest people I've ever met.
So I really regret letting that perception stop me from doing those things that I really
really wanted to do.
As I mentioned about the one terrible, one of the terrible experiences I had in public
school with a teacher, I did have a few teachers that really took the time to help me and looked
past those outbursts and disruptions and the negative things that I did and really saw
who I really was.
And one teacher really stood out to me in high school and her name was Mrs. DeLong.
Mrs. DeLong was my grade 11 English teacher and I could not write an essay or properly
format any of the projects she gave me but she saw I was really really creative in that
if I could just figure it out, I could be an amazing writer.
And so we had a final essay to write and that would have been 50% of our grade and if I
passed that, I would have passed the course.
And so reluctantly I had to spend my breaks in the room learning how to write an essay
with Mrs. DeLong but because she instilled this confidence in me, I was excited to do
it.
I wanted to learn and I felt some confidence there.
So I did the essay, I handed it in, not thinking I really did a great job but I handed it in
and the time came when she's handing your papers out and everyone's getting their essays,
putting on their desk and she said, Donovan, she did this in front of the class, she said,
you got a 95% on this essay but you handed it in a day late so you failed.
And at the time I was like, really?
But you know, definitely she did me a service instead of a disservice because I learned
that you don't just get stuff handed to you but really I was actually just happy that
I passed.
Like, you know, theoretically I passed and I actually did a good job and I actually felt
really proud.
I was like, fuck yeah, I'm smart, right?
So it was just one of those moments, you know, she passed away a few years ago, I found out
and I really wanted to give her a call, especially going through all of this stuff and just remembering
that and just thank her because I don't know if she really knows the impact that she made
on me and hopefully the impact she's made on other people and you know, I'm sure she
has kids and grandkids and I hope if they're listening, your mom, your grandma, what a
great teacher.
She was strict though, she did not take any shit.
ADHD is a very complex disorder and I had no clue how much so until I started to absorb
all this information and that's the crazy thing about ADHD.
When you are interested in something and it excites you, you will spend hours, days, weeks,
learning and focusing on it, obsessing about it.
So there's misconception that this is an inability to focus, that's incorrect.
It's an inability to focus on things you are not interested in and people say, yeah, well,
I'm not interested in a lot of things but I just need to do it.
You just need to work harder and there lies the issue with how this disorder is perceived
because ADHD is a brain disorder.
We do not create dopamine like other people do.
There's brain spec imaging that shows that people with ADHD, there's low activity in
certain areas of the brain that is involved with focus, attention, concentration, goal
setting, planning and impulse control.
So we need stimulation in order to function because like I said, we cannot produce dopamine
like other people can and so we'll look for it in other ways but our brains actually do
not allow us to do certain tasks without a lot of effort.
We actually need to work harder than other people and work past these things but that
additional work, that pushing through actually causes or could cause ADHD burnout and that
could result in not being able to do anything no matter how hard you try.
And so it's a weird thing even me just knowing that it's crazy because it's like why can't
you just do it?
And the work, just pushing through can actually cause significant negative results and can
also cause you to feel depressed and forgetful, impulsive and really cause the symptoms that
are associated with ADHD to really take control of your life.
So just work harder or quote work through it can actually be detrimental to your health.
However, this is why knowing about this disorder and how to manage it can actually be a massive
asset.
So this is what this podcast really is about and I can tell you I have no shortage of topics.
I just have a shortage of time to get it out.
So what is ADHD exactly?
And for those of you who do not know much about the disorder or those of you who've
heard about it and might not really know how complex this disorder is, it is one of the
most common neurodevelopmental disorders in children and a lot of children are diagnosed
but it can also last into adulthood and if undiagnosed it can actually result in a lot
of other disorders and a lot of problems in your life.
And for me that was something that not knowing, it led to a lot of other disorders and things
like that.
As you have signs and symptoms, you hear like fidgeting, lack of attention and those type
of things and I have resources on my website that you can look at if you want to know a
little bit more.
I won't go too far into the medical definition of this but there are some things that I learned
that I was really blown away and didn't know.
And the first thing is that there's actually three types of ADHD and how it presents itself
and one is predominantly inattentive presentation.
So this is trouble paying attention, finishing tasks, following instructions or conversations
and the second is predominantly hyperactive impulsive presentation.
So this is the one that is very apparent, you're running around, jumping around, kids
are climbing on stuff, you always feel restless, shaky leg syndrome and the third one is the
combined presentation and so that's those two together.
And for me that's the case.
I have inattentive and hyperactive and so those symptoms should have been very apparent
to people when I was growing up but they weren't and even to myself and that's the issue I
think and the reason why I want to talk about this is there is a lot of misconception, there
is a lot of misunderstanding of what this disorder is and how complex it is and so there
are so many people that have these symptoms but may not have ADHD or they may have one
of them and not the other and think they don't have it.
And the second thing is which was interesting is that ADHD is a spectrum disorder similar
to autism and a lot of the symptoms actually overlap and the thing that I didn't know
about being on a spectrum is I thought it was linear, I thought you either had a little
bit of ADHD or a lot of ADHD but a spectrum is actually more of like let's use the example
of a pizza and then it's cut into slices and each slice represents a symptom and so in
the middle is what we'll say quote normal people and each slice could be impulsivity,
inattention, forgetfulness, hyperactivity, inflexibility and so you sit on a different
level of those slices and so that's why everyone who has a neurodivergent disorder or neurodivergent
are different, there's different levels of each of those things and I'll have a link
on my website, you can kind of see visually what that looks like.
And the third thing I wanted to talk about is what causes ADHD and when I was younger
I remember this being kind of a made up thing, kids don't really have it and I had no clue
that I even had it and it was always really kind of seen as a negative thing which I mean
there's you know if not treated or not managed yeah it can definitely be difficult but you
know things that could cause it are you know brain injuries, exposure, environmental risk
so lead poisoning, you know alcohol and tobacco use during pregnancy, premature delivery,
low birth weight, so there's a lot of factors that could contribute to some of developing
ADHD but the one thing that there's a lot of studies and research backing it up is that
it is genetic.
So for me that is one of the big reasons why I wanted to do this, learn as much as possible.
I have two amazing kids, my daughter who is two and my son who is four and I do see a
lot of signs that they may have ADHD and more so in my son who is four but I will discuss
how ADHD can be misdiagnosed in girls quite often.
Looking back on my childhood it is clear that my parents who are still undiagnosed by the
way but very clear that they have this disorder and they didn't have the resources I have
today. They did the best they could with what they knew so I want to stop the cycle for
my kids.
Before I was diagnosed and even after and I didn't know a lot this disorder would just
really take a hold of me and I really didn't know how to control it and I'm not saying
that I'm perfect now, I still have moments but I know that if I'm not taking care of
myself, if I'm not paying attention to the signs it will take a hold of me.
There are times my kids will be relentless and I've yelled at them with a lot of frustration
and anger. My son doesn't talk back or continues his tirade but he says, I'm sorry dad, I know
I went too far. I know I need to take a step back and I also need to let him know what
I did was not okay and in that moment assure him that it wasn't his fault because there's
a lot of guilt that comes with that. Me and my son, we have this thing now where if I'm
getting upset or angry he says, dad, you lost your cool and I know I need to stop. Think
about it, observe, proceed with calm. It triggers my brain to say, you're right, I did. I'm
sorry and it really calms me. He is my support in those moments. It's a very powerful thing.
It's amazing how a four year old can teach you more than any adult could but I need to
make sure that my son doesn't have to take on the burden of managing my emotions. I still
have moments but it does take a little bit more to get me to that point. I also know
that if I'm getting there I need to stop. We've all heard the phrase, knowledge is power
and for me this is so true. Not knowing why I was the way I was, why I was doing the things
I did or couldn't do the things like other people really made me feel powerless. I started
to learn as much as I could about this disorder and knowing how I can manage it, knowing what
triggers the symptoms, it's given me the ability to have power over myself and control myself
to an extent. I know what I need to do and that just is really powerful. But the one
thing you cannot do is you cannot use this as an excuse. I can lose my temper, I can
be irritable and I can be mean to people, especially the people I love and I can't just
say, oh it's because I have ADHD. What I can do is know why it's happening and try to avoid
it or do what will help me reduce the chances of these things happening. And yeah, that
takes a lot of work. You got to work on it. It's not easy but I do have the best motivation
and inspiration in the world and that's my family.
Now here is the other thing. You are going to find that if you are undiagnosed or diagnosed
but still not fully understand the complexity of this disorder and how you can manage it
and you begin to take this journey, you might find that you may lose a lot of people, family,
friends, partners, etc. And here's why. You will not be trying to be that person you think
others want you to be. You will become that person you actually were. I mean if you are
always an asshole and your true self is an asshole, well I'm not sure what will happen
there but you'll figure it out. But from my experience, people with ADHD are some of the
kindest, most empathetic people on the planet and we may not always show it but we feel
it. We are emotional roller coasters. We are not easy to be around at times and every day
is a mystery so it takes a really strong person to be with someone with ADHD. So if you happen
to find someone that strong, you might want to put a ring on it. I did. Sorry, I expect
more cheesy lines like that going forward.
What else can you expect in my podcast? Well, let's talk about growing up undiagnosed with
ADHD and what that led to, how medication can help, and the good and bad side of that
and hopefully have some professionals on to talk about that. Traits of ADHD, oversharing,
hyperfocus, how diet and exercise are very important to reduce symptoms, ADHD in relationships,
that one will be fun, things like substance abuse, the dark side of ADHD, and the fun
side of ADHD, how music has made an impact in learning how and what type of music can
really help reduce symptoms, ADHD in girls and women, and how this is quite often un-misdiagnosed
and where my lovely sister will be my co-host for the day. She does not know this yet but
if you're listening, sis, you're joining me for that one. Tips and tricks that can help
you reduce the negative symptoms of ADHD and really allow you to use this as your advantage.
Things like being around animals, gardening, and connecting to nature can reduce symptoms
of ADHD. Talk about other spectrum disorders or neurological disorders that can also develop
over time and how there's a lot of overlap between a lot of other disorders. I will have
guests on here and I'm sure you all don't want to hear me just talk but I want to learn
from other people. I want other perspectives from people who are neurodivergent and neurotypical
people as well. I want to create and connect to this community. It's such a fascinating
thing, ADHD, and everyone is different. However, there are so many traits that are similar.
When I meet other people with ADHD, even if they're undiagnosed, but we know. It's kind
of amazing because it creates this instant bond with somebody because no matter where
you come from, how you were brought up, you kind of just get each other. You can talk
about things openly that you would never talk about with other people. It's an instant trust
and I think that is why building a community around this is so important. Please join me
on my next episode where we talk about living with ADHD, being undiagnosed, and now being
diagnosed. How that can be a gift that will open up so many things for you. In every episode
I want to share some of my tips and tricks for navigating this superpower called ADHD.
Please visit my website at sa40podcast.com. That's sa40podcast.com. Follow me on Instagram,
Twitter, and TikTok at shinglesat40. Oh, and yeah, he wanted to know why this podcast was
called Shingles at 40. Let's save that for the next episode. Do you need to give you
a reason to come back? And don't worry, episode two is already up so you can Netflix that
shit and binge listen. Thank you so much for allowing me to share, be open, and I really
hope you share your knowledge, tips and tricks, struggles with me, and I hope we can all find
our purpose in life and truly be happy because you cannot change the world if you cannot be
the person you know you are. Have a great day and see you in episode two.