Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.
Larry and Needles.
Show.
Because we can't stop this guy.
We gotta start right now.
Alright, welcome to the Larry and Needles show.
And I don't have my notebook either,
but I don't think we're gonna need it today.
I'm Needles.
I'm Larry and thank you for tuning in.
And we have Mark with us.
Hey man, put that thing down by your face a little bit there, buddy.
Yeah, that's good.
You know, it's good to talk into it.
If we need notes, we'll go off of Mark's crazy ass fucking nose.
Yeah, so enforce here with us today.
Did you know this real quick about Bob Saget being murdered?
Not good.
He had massive head injuries.
Yeah, he had accident in a shower or something.
He slipped.
There was too much head massively,
we just fell and hit their head, you know?
Yeah, well there was that other guy that did that.
He slipped and hit his head on the hammer 57 times.
Right, well his face was damaged in a way.
Yeah, if he fell, he must have just fallen a few times on his face,
he'd back up his head, you know.
I think it was just one major blunt force trauma.
He got beat up by the floor apparently in the room.
I think it was a nightstand, or there was either a nightstand
or a kitchen sink or something.
I think Meadows is right about that one.
He looked like he was beaten, is what I have here.
Because I heard someone say it looked like he was beaten.
But I mean, listen, Bob Saget was the one.
No signs of foul play.
No blood, no mess.
Well, there had to be blood to some extent.
So anyways, for our super...
Wait, wait, is that it?
No, no, Bob Saget had a much darker life.
What did he do, man?
He went to Epstein.
You didn't.
They have Saget's in the flight logs of Epstein's ship.
Ship?
The flight logs of the airplane.
He didn't buy old band bar out of Epstein's plane.
Could you have a pedophile boat as long as you get three miles out?
Submarine.
You know what I mean? It's in international waters.
No, it's still fucking...
Like a pedophilia cruise.
I think that on the island, no matter how far out you are,
you've got to get here to sell sort of land.
It's international waters.
I don't know. I don't know on an island yet.
If I did, I would know more about it.
But anyways, the reason that we haven't put up an episode in a while
for our hardcore fans that are looking forward to this shit
is because, boy, oh boy, oh boy, did needles fuck up.
They didn't fuck up?
Wait a second, first of all...
Here's what happened.
He got into a fucked up situation.
I didn't get into a fucked up situation.
I took something, I thought it was something else, and it wasn't that.
So I heard my back at work a while ago,
and it's very difficult to get pills now.
You know what I mean?
The doctor makes you jump through fucking who?
Yeah, so I'll go in there and there'll be like,
here's a couple at Advil or take Tylenol, nothing that's good.
And fucking pills are just a band aid.
Those are what it comes for.
But it's not like I'm not overweight, I'm not in peak physical shape,
but I'm very active.
So fucking my back was strapping in the lad.
He does great boys stuff.
Yes, I do, two at a time. They call me the down-hiller.
So what do you call it?
So I have a friend who I've known for a while,
I used to work with, and he used to give me fucking pills.
And just not just one type, like different types.
Like it ends, norco, whatever you kind of needed, he kind of knew.
He had a good plug.
Which is great because, man, you need them.
Well, it depends.
Sometimes it's recreational, but it's nice to know that guy.
Yeah, I hurt myself really bad once, and they didn't give me shit.
You know what I mean?
Like, hey, look at what you got, your teeth pulled.
Yeah, I got none.
I got a wisdom tooth pulled, and they gave me two vikin' in.
And, you know, okay, whatever.
You know, they used to give us a lot of pills,
then they took the pills back and everybody went to heroin,
now they take the pills back, and now it's like, fuck up.
Okay, so...
Now it's a fent, no.
Fuck it, that Saturday I called my boy up,
and he said he could grab me some pills,
and I was like, okay, cool, so I drove.
We're not going to use any townships or anything like that.
No, no, no. It's anonymous towns and anonymous people.
Except for needles, we all know who he is.
Yeah.
So, fucking, I go to my boy and I go and pick him up,
and drop him off and do everything, you know,
and as soon as I drop him off, I take him,
and I drive about, I don't know, 15, 20 minutes,
and then black out OD, or I don't know what it was,
I don't know what it was, it blacked out.
Allegedly,
I tinged a dent or a hit of Tesla,
but not bad, the police told me.
Nobody got hurt.
Thank the Lord, nobody got hurt, and thank God,
I don't like saying this on the air,
but I'm glad the needles didn't get killed,
I love this guy, I would have been really sad,
and I would have...
Well, thanks Larry, I love you.
Yeah, thank you, I love you too.
And for it, I'm a 50-50 on you.
I've been like, I love you.
So, fucking, what do you call it?
So now I'm driving in a blackout,
and I allegedly hit a car.
Because the pill you took was not a proper thing.
Head fat knowing it.
Right, not a proper thing, just like you hear all over the place
where people take a pill and they drop fucking dead,
because they don't know.
So what happened was so...
And you didn't know.
When I bought the pills, being, you know what I mean,
like I've sound mind sort of,
and trying to keep ahead of what's going on in the curve,
I used the pill finder which you can use on your phone,
and you take a picture of it, and it'll fucking...
And it'll tell you exactly what it is.
What it is by the stamping, and the size of it,
and what it looks like.
So I did that, and it was a muscle relaxer
that I've bought before.
Perfect copy.
And it was the same color orange,
so it wasn't like a white pill.
It was like orange, you know what I mean?
It wasn't exactly what it looked like before.
And so, fucking, I did the pill thing.
My friend said they were fine, he said he's taking them.
You know, like I said, I've known this kid,
it wasn't somebody off the street.
I bought stuff from him before.
He's a good dude, he has no,
no intentions towards me, shall I say.
None.
Or anybody else, or that man.
And he's not a drug dealer.
He's just a liaison.
He's just a body that you could...
Yeah, you know what I mean?
That helps me out.
Like I said, I worked with him, he's a good dude.
So fucking...
I forgot to know people that walk in the wild side.
Dude, it's good to have friends in low places.
You know what I mean?
He's not a drug dealer, he knows a drug dealer.
No, Mark knows lots of drug dealers.
Oh fuck.
Mark kisses lots of drug dealers.
He probably knows their phone numbers by memory,
even though it's cell phone, right?
Yeah, he's gotta go to a payphone to use it still.
Right.
That hasn't been a problem.
Okay, so then fucking I black out,
so the fentanyl kicks in,
and I'm fucking driving for,
they speculate for about 20 to 30 minutes.
Man.
And in that 20 to 30 minutes span of time,
I hit a car,
crossed the median, was driving in oncoming traffic.
And it's a fucking wide-ass median.
And it's dark.
No traffic lights, no nothing.
It's a country-ish area, I'd say,
in between towns.
And fucking so...
While I don't remember any of this,
so I hit a wall, blew out my whole right side of my tires,
smashed the passenger side,
smashed the whole front of the car all the way to the back.
The fucking rims look like a taco.
Like a clam.
A clam, the fucking wavering like crazy.
So I was driving on the rim,
and people were calling the cops
because I was shooting sparks out.
There's rooster crows.
And then eventually, I slammed into another wall.
All the airbags deployed.
I ran into the steering wheel.
Even with the seatbelt and shit, you still whacked.
Yeah, I still whacked the steering wheel.
And the whole right side of the car was like,
with the rims and the way the tires...
Because both tires are flat, both rims were sheared.
It was almost like a low-rider.
Yeah, that motherfucker was a low-rider.
I saw the car.
It was like an inch above the ground.
So then, I come to a stop,
and while I'm at a stop, the cops finally catch up to me.
The ambulance comes.
They put me in an ambulance.
I don't remember any of this. I wake up in the ambulance,
and they're fucking...
All my clothes are cut off.
They're freaking out.
Not freaking out, but to me, they're freaking out.
They're talking very loudly and very precisely.
For an EMT who stays very calm, they're freaking out a little.
So then, I distinctly remember that.
Because I could tell what was going on,
but they were like, we're losing him, give him another one.
So from when I got picked up to the hospital,
it was like 15, 20 minutes.
And in that span, they gave me three shots of Narcan.
Yeah.
And I came to, in the hospital,
which was probably because there was already strap down my clothes.
They already had me needles in the needles.
Wow, man.
They had like an EKG, I had oxygen.
I was like, and I started coming to it.
Holy shit.
And then, as soon as I came to again,
they hit me with more Narcan.
Wow.
And so there was a fourth shot in less than 30, 40 minutes.
Holy mackerel.
And then so I was stuck in a room with...
I started coming to again,
and then I was actually able to talk this time.
Yeah.
I was like talking to the cop,
and he's like, do you know what happened?
Do you remember anything?
I just woke up in the hospital now.
I remember waking up in the ambulance,
I remember waking up in the hospital now.
Now I'm coherent.
And so the cop starts talking to me,
and he's like, you overdosed?
He's like, we had multiple calls,
you hit a car, and I freaked out because I thought I killed somebody.
I was like, you were in handcuffed to the gurney,
so that was a good sign.
And also, you weren't handcuffed?
No, Nidals has been arrested a couple of times.
He knows the severity of a situation if you're handcuffed.
When you wake up and you're handcuffed down.
Yeah, that's when things are bad.
One hand is bad, two hands, no one.
They think you're a killer.
Yeah, no one.
So then I start talking to the cop,
nurses come in, the EMTs are still there,
and they're like, okay, you overdosed,
they're like, we have to give you,
what did you take, what did you do?
I told them, and they're like, oh,
it had fentanyl in it, we already tested you,
you have fentanyl in your system.
Wow.
They're like, we've given you four shots of Narcan,
and I was still, fuck dude.
I was still fucked after the four shots.
My head was like roll, you know,
when you're high, your head rolls and shit,
like that, I couldn't keep my head straight.
I think my head was.
I couldn't keep my head straight and
I was still fucked up, man.
Yeah, I was still, I was really still fucked up,
so they had the cop suggest,
because now I was awake and coherent.
Lucid.
That they needed, this was the next one
was gonna get me where they needed to be to question me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They gave me five shots of Narcan.
And Larry saw this, I showed you the paper,
and on the cover sheet it said,
opioid overdose.
You know what I mean?
And what's that?
Well, I want you to tell them that you had
eight empty beer cans in your car,
and now.
That was from previous.
It wasn't that night.
And it wasn't beer cans, they were different kinds.
They were smaller, like little, monocle cans.
And they got me for pop possession.
So then the cop starts talking to me,
starts telling me all this shit,
you know, this is what's going on,
the cop, so I was in the hospital already.
They had to wait four and a half hours
to release me.
So I was stuck in this room,
in an ER room,
with a cop, and all we did was talk.
Like we talked the whole time, Larry.
It was, and I'm telling you right now,
I'm coming off of,
Do you think he was just pretending to be your friend
to fucking gather information against you
and come down harder?
Because I was honest about everything that happened,
I told him, I didn't, dude, listen, man,
I still took it.
But I didn't mean the outcome for that
to be like that.
I'm not like that, you know what I mean?
It's been a long time since I've been arrested
for nefarious things.
So I just sat and I talked to the cop
and, you know,
he's like telling me, he's like,
what, he's like,
we're giving you, because it was the arresting cop,
so he had to stay with me.
So they're like, we're giving you DUI,
we're giving you
fleeing the scene of an accident,
fail the stop for an accident,
cause you did.
Pot possession, cause I had like
a little bit of pot on me,
paraphernalia,
and then I had some empty cans in the car,
eight of them, which someone wouldn't even mind,
and they charged me with that also.
So I'm fucked.
First of all, the first thing is,
obviously, don't fucking drive around
with empty fucking cans in your car.
Okay, next.
Never, never ever.
I don't understand why they gave you
the scene of the accident and then fleeing the thing.
It's like two in the same fucking thing.
It's like, why did you want to double up on that?
More money.
Fleeing the scene, yeah, what else?
Causing an accident and then fleeing the scene of an accident.
No, oh, I thought you said it was fleeing
the scene of an accident.
Well, yeah, I caused an accident and fleed the scene.
So it's the same,
okay, I might have said it wrong.
I might have said the same thing twice.
Still, still, that's fucking brutal.
Yeah, I understand that.
But just you know what, man, the important thing
is you didn't get killed or killed somebody.
Well, yeah, that's the most important thing.
So then I talked to this cop, man, for fucking forever.
And he's like telling me,
he's like, these charges are serious,
this and that, you're gonna have to come to jail.
You're probably gonna have to sit there
for a little while.
And then, so,
you know, time goes on, the nurses are coming in,
I'm cracking jokes, I'm fucking,
I lost it for a minute.
Because I thought I killed somebody, I was in a blackout.
The guy said I hit a car, they were so fucking dramatic
in the ER.
It's like, what's that show,
the way the world turns,
something's hospital.
General hospital?
That's what it felt like.
And plus, dude, I'm still high on fentanyl
and arcan.
I don't know if anybody's ever had that done,
but it is not.
I haven't.
It's not a fucking, I've had it done multiple times.
It's not fun.
Because it's like, you're just on death's door
and it literally just sucks you back.
It just takes everything out of you.
And it feels so good when you're right there on death's door.
I don't remember that.
But I remember coming too, just being like,
you know, like fucking just
waking, and I got like a man.
It's like you're laying,
you're prone on the fucking,
on the table in the fucking,
dude, you're in the back of an ambulance
and everything's fucking going.
I've been there before.
And people are working on you,
you try to get up because that's your first instinct.
And they're like, sit down, lay down.
And you're just like, what the fuck is going on?
You know what I mean?
And now I just come out of a fucking OD
and I got like superhuman strength.
I got Kensington strength.
West side strength actually.
West side strength.
So fucking,
for a while, I'm very nice to the people
because they saved my life.
They keep on telling me that I should have been dead.
They really keep on telling me that.
Because the truth is, the fact of the matter is,
is if you would have waited to take this
fucking pill when you went home,
your dumb ass would be dead.
And the day before.
How about the day before?
Yeah, now here's a fucking funny thing.
You know how I always pray for needles.
This isn't a fucking,
what do you call it?
Oh man, what do you call it?
Coincidence, this is a coincidence.
This is not a coincidence.
This was God giving you a warning.
He had the same type of pill the day before.
I saw my friend and he gave me one.
And he was going to split it in half.
And the motherfucker popped out of his hand
and went down the drain.
It bounced down the counter and literally went
completely, completely in between
the little fucking,
that looks like a jelly bean.
And the pill went right through the,
right through the, and you know what?
And I said fuck it, I don't care.
I'm not taking the sink apart for that.
No, and I didn't.
So that was the warning from the Lord.
That's a coinkie dink.
There's no such thing, motherfucker.
I'm just told you where it is.
I'll tell you one thing though,
who's no stranger slamming into people
when they're all fucked up.
Who let that be?
Well, there's only three of us in here.
And the needles.
I got my own shit out of it.
Yeah, I had a real bad accident.
Man, that one to God.
How many people did you paralyze?
No, not paralyze, nobody.
No, it's just herself.
I promote them.
Dick down.
Oh, the worst crash ever in my whole life, dude.
Oh my God.
I just went right into the back of her, man.
Fuck.
You didn't even touch the brakes, right?
40, 35, 40. Jesus Christ.
No, no, no. Oh, thank God, man.
She was pregnant though. No, she was huge though.
That's probably what saved her.
Yeah, all that had in.
Poor Christian from the push.
She couldn't get a whip last because
she already had like a neck brace.
I sort of got a little surprised and
had very little problems from this whole thing too.
I mean, I slid right in the back of this lady,
passed out. Were you high?
Oh, higher than my heart. Were you on dope?
Open my eyes and there she was.
Yeah, I was probably tired from doing anything.
Oh, yeah, yeah. He always said that.
I'm tired.
I was taking a nap while I was driving.
No, no, no. At least I said, okay, I gotta stay awake.
And it went out again, you know what I mean?
I really woke up once and said, okay, man, don't.
Oh, yeah, I knew that.
That's my hitter, you know.
And always happens.
I did that in the west side when I was
coming back and it was
a drop top car
with three kids in the back and a black dude
driving and this guy was not
to be messed with.
And I hit him. It was like we were stopped
and I stopped and then he quick
stopped and I hit him.
And like, man, it was not good.
He was, I think, a little bit of money.
Almost of setup there.
It seemed like a setup.
Well, we were all in traffic.
So if it was a setup, you know what I mean?
There was like construction
and I put the whole
thing that freaked me out is there's three kids in the back
and there's no seat belts.
It's like you might have been a scam.
Who knows? I had to pay him off in hot cheetos.
That's it. I was surprised.
You were right. No problems with this crash.
You know, it was insurance paper, everything.
I did go to the doctor, the hospital.
I had to sit in the hospital with my thumb.
Closing your thumb? You went to the hospital?
Yeah, I got jammed up on the airbag so bad
it was like broken, basically, but it wasn't
broke, but it was swollen and hurt.
You know, fun.
I swear to you, man.
What I did was the cop came.
I was like, I quickly just left the scene.
You know, I heard my information.
I got to get to the hospital and I left.
I just left the scene. It's the best thing you can do.
What do you mean? Because then you didn't get a DUI?
Well, I didn't need to come find me at the hospital.
I signed all this shit and I was fine.
By that time, you know what you say
after to me all the time? I had a couple tickets
for causing the crash and shit and that was it.
The whole thing was like nothing.
That's amazing. Well, yeah, you got lucky.
I used to be.
Because you fled the scene of a crime.
Right.
You committed another crime like I did.
No, the cops were there. They were there.
They knew I was going. The sheriff was there.
When I was leaving in the ambulance, the sheriff was there.
And they said, I got to go to the hospital now.
I see what's going on.
Here's my stuff. Here's everything I need.
I have to go to the hospital now.
Yeah, but don't stay in your system though.
I mean, it's not like they can't.
They can't touch me.
You know what would happen to me all the time is I would just get to that right.
That perfect spot where
I would get some boys down.
Right where you're just high enough where you're not fucking
nodding out and everything.
And then food would make it kick in.
So I would be like a family function
and then we would eat or something.
I would be fucking fucked up all of a sudden.
More than before.
Heading the spaghetti.
Yeah, and you know, my mom would be screaming at me
or something, you know,
or fucking whatever, whoever.
Wherever I was.
It didn't matter where you were.
We've had problems every week.
We'd have a boss house or fucking, you know,
or my mom's house.
Anybody's house we were at.
Yeah, and fucking...
But you know, when you're trying
to fucking be cool and stay awake
and you think you can handle it,
you're gonna fucking nod out.
You're like, hey, wake up
and you're like, I'm fine, I'm awake.
What do you mean?
You're having a dream about the table
that you're at.
You know, I was talking in the background.
One of those dope dreams.
A dope dream.
Horrible, man.
And that's what I was getting to at the ER,
which is crazy.
Like, because it was fucking just chaos, man.
Dude's bells, whistles,
sounds. There were a couple of chicks there too.
I was like, oh yeah, there's always nurses there.
You know what I mean?
Sometimes they're not always hot.
But this is the fucking ER of a big hospital.
You know what I mean?
A general hospital.
No, not really.
I just think hot chicks want to be nurses.
I like nurses.
I love nurses, man.
Teachers, nurses.
Love them all.
So all this shit's going on,
fucking talking to the cop.
They finally release me
and then they take my shit,
my fluids and stuff
and
guys are like,
so if this is my fifth shot,
I'm finally co-hearing, I'm sitting up,
I'm talking to him, I'm drinking water,
still throwing up, can't even keep anything down.
Like,
and
so they're like, alright,
we can release you.
I'm like, alright, I stick my arms out
and he's like,
can I cuff you from behind?
I'm like, please do in the front, I'm going to throw up.
So they fucking cuff me,
or the guy cuffs me, the cop that's been with me the whole time.
I'm like, cool, man, I will say.
And they cuffed you from the front?
Yeah, they cuffed me because I didn't want to be sick,
because I was going to be sick.
I kept on throwing up, you know what I mean?
So obviously I'm not going to run away from you,
I'm not fucking George Floyd or somebody.
I don't see any vines around here.
So fucking,
they cut off all my clothes,
so now I'm just in my underwear
and then they're like,
oh, we're going to have to go, I need clothes,
I need to go to jail in my underwear.
They're like, okay, cool.
So they gave me this talking heads-esque suit.
You know what I mean?
But it was made out of like,
material, some weird shit.
Yeah, so it was made out of material,
but I had the top on,
and it had blood all over it.
Because I had a pick
in one arm,
and a pick in another,
they were fucking,
so that's how they're giving the Narcan through to fucking
because it works better, they said.
Oh, of course.
So then they, so I just got blood on me,
and I'm like, and I walk out
because all the,
all the rooms are around them,
outside, and then the women are in the middle.
It's like a casino,
they're in the pit, you know?
So I'm like waving to them,
my hand comes out, I'm like, thank you.
I'm like, Nixon.
I'm not dead.
And I'm like, thank you very much.
I was so nice to everybody, man.
I really was.
My parents taught me to have manners very well.
What are you laughing at?
This fucking guy.
That's good, Mike.
What did he say he was doing the other day?
You mean to people?
He was mopping the floors at three in the morning
when he's got neighbors below, and he's dropping shit.
What do you mean they can't eat it?
You share a fucking floor with them, dude.
That's okay.
No, it's not.
All right, so then we fucking go to the police station.
He's like, listen, they did all your paperwork.
He's like, um...
He's out of there right away, huh?
He's like, we're going to keep you there for a minute.
We're going to talk to you and make sure you're okay.
They're like, obviously.
And then they fuck it.
My house keys are on my car keys.
Right.
But we'll get to the car situation.
So I can't get my house keys.
So I had to have a friend.
They were going to hold me in jail.
Fucking because of what happened.
Right, right.
And they...
I could tell that this is not what you do.
I don't take fentanyl. I don't take street drugs.
I really don't.
And he's like, we're going to give you an eye-bond.
Yeah.
Dude, so they eye-bonded me out on fucking...
You know, he's like, these are some serious shit.
There was. Nice of them.
Which I'm not a fucking lawyer.
My lawyer upstairs won't even talk to me because I'm an idiot.
She won't even represent me.
But she's hooking you up with a good lawyer.
Yeah, I need...
You know, we don't have a conflict of interest as they say.
We're going to give you the best fucking lawyer needles.
Well, like I said, it's my fault for taking the shit.
Okay?
And I completely accept...
But you know what? That's just why you use...
Everybody should know that you're going to get a pill
and you're going to get some real deal.
Fucking hot-puckin'.
Yeah.
So be careful, man.
And I knew this guy.
I can't believe I'm saying that.
But I knew this guy.
You know what I mean? This guy's been taking it.
So we've been kind of... Larry and I have...
We hung out the other day.
Unless of course it's fentanyl you're looking for.
That shouldn't be a problem.
Well, that's all. There is for now.
There's nothing... It's either fentanyl or a trink, right?
Yeah, you get it.
There's no heroin.
It's someone like you that shoots up three bags of trink before it...
Why are you drinking water like a baby?
Yeah, totally.
It's like a bottle.
And that bottle has a nipple on it too.
Did you see that?
Stop, man.
Jeez.
But so then, fucking...
So we go, we hang out.
I'm at the fucking police station.
And the funniest thing is...
So we're sitting there.
We're talking. We're just bullshit.
Like it's me, the cop that's been with me
in the fucking ER.
So I have a repertoire with this guy.
You're almost best friends with that guy.
Seriously, this guy...
I have a good repertoire with him.
We did it on some Irish cop.
No, you could have been.
Oh, yeah.
I do like the Kings of New York.
That's what I would be like, the fucking Total Gangs in New York.
So then, oh shit, we didn't smoke weed.
We don't have any weed.
I got some here. You want a roach?
Yeah, no, I got this one.
So what do you call it?
The cop.
That was the cop.
It's funny, we got this repertoire between
me and this cop.
The other cop comes in. He's a big motherfucker, man.
Not a jacked, but just like...
He's the guy that's going to body slam you
if things get out of hand.
Mustache, sideburns,
like old school 70s cop.
He's one of the ones that's all day.
Tall and slim.
He stood there and stood in the corner
with his elbows up against the wall
leaning.
Does gunpoint now?
He was raped.
Was it raped?
And all of a sudden he sees...
Where did he get his gunpoint there?
He had it in his belt.
I'm just saying, it was showing.
I mean, I'll fucking shoot you, don't worry.
So then he sees...
I thought he had a gun out point there.
I don't know what to say, Chicago's black sights.
I don't mean the west side.
But...
So me and this cop were just like bullshit
and were friends.
And his whole demeanor changes.
Like the tall cop.
He was nice to you then?
Well, he was like, oh, this guy's not a fucking...
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it was really nice at the hospital.
You know what I mean?
That was a huge thing they said also.
If I was addicted to the hospital,
they would have given me another charge
and then I would have been held in jail.
What would have been the other charge, do you think?
We had so many already, man.
I know, man.
I think a few of those were redundant
and unfair, man.
And also another one...
Wait, wait, wait, let's get to the car.
Let me give one more warning out to people though, out there.
You think it's cool to fucking
drive around
with weed if you live in one of them states
where weed is legal?
But it ain't cool to hit people in the car.
Let me explain what I was told.
Okay, so...
Because we want to warn our people.
Yeah, if you smoke weed and you carry it in your car,
it's completely illegal.
And this is what I was told by a police officer.
He said that...
This was a tall cop too.
So he told me that the only way
that it's legal to carry
marijuana in your car is if it's bought
right from the dispensary, it's in the container
and the bag, and it's
unopened.
And then you have to take it home.
If you open it in your car...
It's open and it's like...
I'm sure people
realize this.
Maybe not, man.
It didn't occur to me either, but yeah.
Right, because I had my weed in my other bag.
Because you think, hey, I got some weed
in my fucking pocket and shit.
I'm just driving around, I'm not smoking it, and then they say,
oh dude.
And I'm not on probation yet.
My first court date is in July.
Right, it's also like this.
If the cops ever want to search your car,
of course you tell them, fuck no.
But you don't say it in a dumb shit way.
You don't tell them, fuck no.
First of all, I'm gonna serve my under arrest
because I have to go somewhere.
Otherwise, here's my car.
But that fucking starts a whole
fucking slew of things, Larry.
It does.
So obviously now the cops...
You don't want to get your car searched, man.
You can tell them no.
But now you're hiding something.
And now they're gonna run your shit
and see what kind of charges you have.
And if you have this and if you have that...
Yeah, but if you didn't do anything wrong
and they have nothing to hold you on,
then you're getting your car and say later.
The normal person does not smoke weed in their car.
Right.
An average person, not normal.
An average person.
Probably not.
Marijuana in their car every day for personal consumption.
They smoke at home.
I know someone who does.
I know two people who do.
And they're both in this fucking room.
So...
But what do you call it?
I know three people in this room.
You don't want to have more for me, man.
I'm gonna fucking be as cool as a motherfucker.
So I don't even travel with pot anymore.
Because it's not even worth it.
What about your trunk?
You can put it in your trunk.
I'm not putting it in my trunk, man.
Right. But if they smell it...
They can't look in your trunk, man.
What do you mean they can't look in your trunk?
You tell them you don't want...
I'm gonna search your fucking car.
I know, Larry, but this is not about what you want
and what they want.
Okay, so how about this, then?
Okay, so the cops...
Let's keep going, man.
This ties into what I'm gonna talk about then.
Okay, so the cops release me...
Fucking... They're very cool that they actually drive me
to a gas station 10 minutes away.
Right.
Because they know that I can't...
You can't run out of the fucking station.
I waited. There wasn't even next.
There was nobody there. It wasn't me.
You know what I mean?
So they got another cop
to drive me to the fucking police station.
That cop came out behind me, shook my hand,
said, I hope everything was gonna be good.
You know what I mean?
The fucking teleceval...
Not teleceval, if he didn't have any hair.
It would be okay. The 70s fucking fact.
The Rockford Files guy came out.
Jim Rockford came out.
And he fucking... We did a porn star handshake.
You know, elbow to elbow.
So... Hey buddy.
Hey buddy, I got jizz in my hand.
So then, now here's another fucking irony.
They dropped me off to this fucking gas station.
And it's like this crazy gas station.
Like...
Like Vegas?
Yeah.
It's like something...
Yeah, I've seen that about a lot of gas stations before.
It looks like...
It looks like circus, circus in Vegas.
Sort of. It's got neon lights and shit.
It's all lit up.
Yeah, so fucking...
So I go up there and I go inside and I buy a pack of heaters.
Because all my shit's in the car.
And I fucking come out.
And who's standing there?
A doctor in scrubs.
Oh man.
And I do funniest things.
And I'm wearing scrubs all over me.
And they got blood all over me.
And he's like, just get off of work.
I'm like...
And I'm still out of it. I got like a cherry coke and a water.
And I just got a heater in my mouth at the gas station.
And I fucking...
This guy came out of nowhere.
And so he thought that I was a doctor.
Yeah, yeah.
And then when you opened your mouth, you obviously knew you weren't.
Well, yeah, I don't know how coherent that was
at that time either.
You know what I mean? Like in my head...
You don't even know a motherfucking thing about doctors.
But in my head, I sounded like I was fucking Charlie Brown's fucking teacher.
Wah, wah, wah.
That's what it sounded like for the longest time.
It sounded like I was on a lot of balloons.
That's what everything sounds like tomorrow.
Got cleaned shit out of him.
All the time.
Okay, so then fucking...
Everything progresses. A friend picks me up.
That's it. Larry comes and gets me.
Yep.
To go get my car.
So, we're gonna start...
I'm gonna start a running tally on how much I spend on my DUI.
Oh. Yeah.
We were talking about that in the car.
I'm sorry, I got a running tally on how much money you owe me.
Oh, Larry.
Over the years.
Is there interest? I hope there's not a big on it.
No, just...
I'd be like a father and son loan.
A father and son loan?
I'm not gonna charge you juice, man.
Who's the father and who's the son in this relationship?
Who's the one fucking getting fucked out of all the money?
I would think that I would be the father.
Why is he gonna pay for it?
He's shut. He's the father.
So anyway, let's go to...
What's gonna happen? What are they gonna do to you?
Okay, so listen, wait a second.
On Monday, we gotta wait for the tow yard to open.
So I pick up needles
and we go to the tow yard.
How much was that?
Well, wait a second.
I go in and I talk to him.
And I'm like, I need my keys
so I can go home because I just got a temporary license.
Because my license expired
and I fucking...
I got a temporary license.
So I left that at home. So they gave me a ticket for that also.
But that's one of the charges.
Now six charges.
So you had a temporary driver's license
because your license expired?
No, yeah, but I had the actual paperwork at the house
at my house.
So you didn't have it on you?
Yeah, so they charged me for that.
One charge for needles dropped.
So that'll get dropped.
I'm winning already.
Until I go to court.
So fucking the lary and I go
and I'm gonna go get my keys
because I got, you know, like I said,
I gotta go get my license.
So I had a DUI before.
I had a DUI when I was 18.
So it's been a long time, but I know people that have DUIs.
And back in the day
you just pay the tow yard for the tow fee.
And the holding of the car, say it was on a Saturday,
they weren't open until Monday.
You know what I mean? You pay the daily fee.
But now the police
put a hold on your car for $500 cash.
Right.
Okay, so fucking...
What's the what?
What's the hold for?
Well, because you can't...
They can't release your car
until you pay the cops $500.
Even though it has nothing to do with anything.
I get it.
So I call the lady up and I'm on hold
for like 20 minutes out in front of the tow yard
talking to... and this is a small police station.
There's fucking three motherfuckers in there.
It's just a small payment you have to make to them for resting.
Well, the bitch hangs up on me.
$500 for a tow in your car.
So I go inside, I'm like, I need my keys.
You can't get your keys, there's a hold on the car.
I'm like, okay, I'm like...
But usually with a regular hold
you can get your keys.
And then the lady looks and she says,
oh, it says on here that this car
might be considered a crime scene
because there was a fatality involved.
So now I'm like...
No, it's a possible fatality.
Well, could be a fatality, possible fatality.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
Same with fucking split hair.
This was a tow yard lady.
This is a tow yard lady behind fucking...
The glass.
Yeah, behind glass and shit.
And it's a nice tow yard, there ain't no fucking junkyard tow yard.
I've been there, I know where you're at.
So I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?
But the guys running it are still fucking...
Yeah, they're still towed.
Yes, I'm like...
I'm like, what are you talking about?
I'm like, you can't fucking...
And I told her, I was like, if I killed somebody
I would not be standing in front of you right now.
Right, right.
But it kind of shook me to the core
that's what I told you when you came back to the car.
Yeah, I'll get to that point.
So then I talked to her and I'm like,
I don't know what happened, I blacked out.
And the cops told me I hit a car,
but you don't think they would release me
if there was a fucking case pending against me.
That included a fatality.
No matter how nice you are to him in the hospital.
Yeah, I mean, niceness is only going to get you so far.
So...
Oh, and I told her...
I was killing anybody else on your way home.
I told her, he was the nicest guy.
Yeah, that guy that killed that...
Hey man, it's 50-50 what you're going to get in there.
Too bad, man.
It's 50-50, man, and if you're nice to those people,
man, they treat you a lot better.
If you're a fucking drunk or people that don't,
you know, think they know the rights and shit.
Well, no, if you're just fucking...
You can't do this thing.
Exactly.
Well, listen, man.
No, I know, but...
Obviously, he's not looking up like that.
No.
I'm not looking up like that.
No, I am more than nice to people.
No, but you should see how he treats
waiters and waitresses, because he used to be a waiter.
I'm fine with that.
You're fucking terrible.
Terrible.
All right, so then if you fucking we get to the tow yard,
I call the lady up, they tell me that this car
might be involved in fatality.
We come...
I come outside and I'm kind of white,
because, dude, I don't know, I blacked out.
I don't remember what happened.
I don't remember, and we talk it out
for a couple minutes, five, ten minutes.
I was sure that you'd definitely be in jail.
We didn't kill no one.
We go over the situation because Larry's my boy,
so we talk about shit and we fucking worked it out.
And so...
Did we go to the police station first,
and then we had to go get cash, right?
So we went to the tow yard,
then we had to go...
To the police station.
Right, we went to the ATM, then went to the police station.
Oh, yeah, yeah, we didn't go...
We didn't go to the ATM, not the police station.
And then we went to the tow yard again.
Because, you know, we didn't know
we couldn't get the keys until we actually went
to the tow yard.
So this is a span of about an hour, right?
Yeah, maybe a little longer.
Maybe about $850 in an hour.
So I got to grease the police,
and then the tow yard was $350
for the fucking... for them to hold it.
Which is a normal...
Which would be...
What I would think it would be the normal price,
because your cop fucking charge was
fucking wastey, man.
Right, yeah, that's because maybe
their truck told you, I don't get it.
That's ridiculous.
And it says on my paperwork, too,
that you have to pay the cops $500.
That's probably your bonds.
Which is crazy, because I'm gonna tell you,
this suburb is on the rich.
This is a very wealthy suburb.
Oh, yeah, you know what I mean?
Right in the cold tales of a...
It's an unincorporated...
stretch of huge homes.
You know what I mean?
Like, I fell right on their lap.
So thank god it wasn't like Schomburg,
and it was like, oh shit.
Thank god it was... fuck, we have to beat that.
That's alright.
It's okay, man.
They know we would have been...
So thank god it wasn't a bigger place
where I could have been
fucked. They would have thrown me in the bullpen.
The police station, you were the only fucking person there.
Yeah, there was nothing else going on.
I was nowhere.
It was probably the most exciting thing that they had.
I was entertaining.
Two cops got to hang with me
and bullshit with me.
I was talking to them, because they were like,
oh, you got all this Narcan. How do you feel?
He was cool about it.
The other cop that was with me,
we were bullshitting.
I told my Barcan joke to the lady
that was giving me Narcan.
So it was a pretty good night then.
Did I ever tell you that joke, my dog overdosed
and she actually stopped.
And looked at me
and said, that is very funny, Michael.
And the cop was laughing in the corner.
So I was like, you know what, man?
Listen, I fucked up. I know I did.
I have to make light of the situation
because it's a coping mechanism that I have.
And here's the thing, man.
It's crazy as it sounds.
It's a good thing you ODed behind the wheel.
You would have died otherwise.
Floor at home, but it's dangerous, man.
So motherfuckers got to be good.
So motherfuckers got to be careful.
Right. Don't do that shit no more, man.
It's not as good of a story if you die, right?
No.
It's over then.
That's the last story.
That's the last story, exactly.
I know God.
I don't know.
And then I would have to carry on
with the Larry Neal show with a continual
revolving guest and I would have to remind everyone.
It was the year fourth.
Until IOG.
You said it.
You could do a whole thing with every
guest that actually wound up, you know,
dying of overdoses.
Or you could just do an AI one with the Ants Force voice.
I could have a seance show.
We could write a whole set of things.
That's the jumping interview that died of overdoses
somehow.
I didn't hurt anybody.
I didn't kill anybody. I feel like a fucking douchebag.
I didn't know what was happening.
I didn't take it on purpose.
I took the film purpose, but I didn't know I was going to get a hot pill.
How many parts?
What was at our age, man?
How many cars did you total that one
summer, three?
Mark?
Yeah.
What summer?
Then the next summer you totaled
two or three cars.
Every car I've had, I've given to the ground.
Even fucking.
Even some of your friends' cars.
I wrecked a car.
front car yeah it was not bad bad but it was totaled it but well but total is a
better of your cost now yeah so expensive that they wasn't like it
couldn't be fixed was just the amount of money made it total do I understand
what total means it was totaled yeah needles car could fucking oh it's only
worth 500 hours to begin with no it was it was worth the grand but the amount
just to buy tires and fucking rotors right that would have totaled it and I
could tell you're totally do the tie I wish we could put the film the photos up
on the fucking internet we might we might be able to and then fucking a block
out the license plate yeah but I smashed them all man I smashed them all
cause anyways the most of the good pictures are from the side it doesn't
need anything blurred out no one can see your but yeah you can see all the airbags
hanging on shit and like I did so then I help needles go empty as fucking oh
yeah all his tools which is a lot man he's electrician it's a ton of bullshit
we're talking to it took 20 fucking hoop the fucking car which fucking Larry
your boss gonna say how you gonna get to work Mike I don't know mark
what are you gonna do about that I don't know you know I've worked works not
that's I can figure that out that's not a big deal it's just trying to figure out
the fuck it's not yet you're gonna like them they like them enough at work to
where they're gonna they're gonna work they're gonna work with me are they
yeah needles is a fucking damn good work I am a very hard work I have a very good
work ethic listen man I like sites you live the job sites like that like find
it where you're gonna be that's what he would do then you stay at the site
live in a shower and eat shower mark a little shower what do you mean I'm
working work man dude I started six and then I leave it to oh and then when
others other trade there they're making a fucking panda express you're gonna
sleep in the cooler you're mine if I sleep under the counter oh my god man I
could get a hotel you ask that's what he would phone but yes how about you were
thinking the 10th probably right maybe if you have to if there's no hotels close
enough there's hotels close to everywhere I work yes you don't I mean we
work in major area they're building something there because there's a lot
of traffic that's not working the woods inside hotel right across for the
intersection yeah I can find a motel there's literally a fucking old school
motel I don't know I haven't gone in there I mean I haven't been there after
dark that's who we got to see so five dollars five hours more for no ID and
shit like that oh man yeah we used to go to the place milshire down at the by
Logan Boulevard and it was an hourly place oh man it was yeah it was just
like that be like 35 an hour if you never an ID and extra 20 there's Highland
Manor Roosevelt road in that place man I didn't say anything about that the
Highland Manor holy shit I was staying there one night years later and did more
drugs yeah I haven't been doing drugs but I'm doing it doing it doing it
drugs in my room by myself of course and your car here's a car with a muffler
I say something really quick drugs by yourself probably grace thing ever yeah I
was I was like a Downey Jr. phase I was ready to go walk around the hotel and
shit and yeah whatever anyways more than down a junior yeah whatever anyways more
than down a junior I'm sitting there by myself and I hear a car come down
Roosevelt road with the loud muffler yeah turn into the hotel you know
there's a lot of hearing here it kind of makes it turn it comes down the
hill towards the back hotel where my room is parks in the bottom of the I'm
on a second floor but you park you know in your front here park you're here in
park right where your room is yeah close to where I got right right in the
vicinity of your room the door opens you know I hear it shut creek and
everything and the door shuts yet cars off now the muffler's not running and you
come up the stairs knocks on the door that's right your door no next to me oh
hey okay yeah come on your room that wheel yeah and they just missed it they
do the thing they do their deal whatever here's a guy getting arrested no way
no no and then the guy you know I hear leave I can leave back in the car
reverse you'll start to cover here I'm dry already with going down you got
going on the road and I was suddenly and I hear that sure enough they're pulling
over the car now they pull over the car then they're coming back to the hotel
I'm sure he's coming he's coming he's sheriff I think I'm not gonna my door I'm
fucking freaking out my door thing got a real estate I hear break in the door
finding the guy in the bathroom trying to flush shit and shit flush your own
shit yes yes I threw my shit no I put on the mattress I believe in the mattress
no way to say that I was gonna claim I was here you know and the fucking Larian
needles ask her goes there was did you see what he did he went of course I
flushed it oh no no I put it on the bed I was gonna come get me they don't know
anything the drug you're fucking my my room you know and so yeah they must have
been had line they do fuck up well they saw the dealer and then they just picked
the fucking buyer I guess but oh I what county you just said in is like you
don't want to fuck around there no no no I mean you stick out like a store why
would you be selling drugs in a car with a muffler fucking loud for I couldn't
believe it I mean seriously what would French do I don't know I really don't
care but why would you I mean for your own stupidity how many of get the loudest
car I can drive and I'm gonna sell crack out of it yeah it's not gonna be like a
rice burner you know the same thing the cops were probably I mean you're in a
shady hotel or hotel yeah so then what the fuck do you think man you don't see
cop shows before they stay out shady motels right I forgot where we were but
you know there would be through some city we'd be staying in man we stayed in
some shady ones and like Minneapolis and whatnot with prostitutes like right
there by each little fucking little thing and yeah it was it was pretty
crazy by dope there'd be street walkers fucking yeah like if you've never seen a
street walker holy shit man you're in New York City street walkers cuz
down in the city in like Minneapolis and shit well down in the city the blacks
are cut one black is here one black so they're all on each corner they're black
where they work at because each somebody owns these blacks another you know what I
mean so fucking where they would work is in the corner of each block but there
would be also women walking to there'd be like 200 women in a 10 black radius
man festival there you don't know who to get fucking well there was so many of
them the cops couldn't do anything there you go right you know what I mean like
they just like this was on each side of the street
flooded yeah just flooded with pussy and drugs and fucking craziness yeah it's
crazy it's alright you know what's man I'm that's why mark ends up smoking crack
with prostitutes in this living exact here we are just sitting there doing our
bullshit while like that shit's a hell of crazy down there
imagine that being your life 24-7 oh yeah that's right a bunch of stuff because
I can't handle it you're gonna go you'll well sometimes I think I'm well you might
be nuts I mean might be yeah yeah you might be nuts I think you might be
yeah
yeah yeah you are fucking bonkers nowadays you see someone talking to
themselves and you think oh you know yeah I know my cell phone it's not like
the old days where you just see someone talking to them so well this motherfucker
ain't on his own he has conversations with them not even just talk to him like
he has conversations funny you say cuz I really have especially yeah I really
have caught myself you give yourself some good fucks I'm gonna talk to her
that much but yeah I've taught myself literally talking like there's someone
next to me and shit in the room you lose it you're not kidding you yes like a
shining yeah I have yeah I'm through with an axe I've already look oh my god
there's nobody there yeah yeah yeah like I'm like yeah yeah yeah yeah that's not
good is it like someone's in the chair next to me I'm laying on my bed I like
say something like I expect someone to be there oh man I then I realize it is
no one there how high are you yeah that's not an answer not as the guy dude
you're not it came on couldn't find my dog yeah I was it all over my fucking
dog was me I couldn't I don't have a dog I was gonna say yeah man now you're
fucking me up and Larry's fucking right I really was I was really wondering where
the fuck my dog is like three minutes man oh man yeah fucking idiot right and
then I remember I don't have a dog
needles like that makes it look like a genius
completely uncalled for what I'm just saying yeah I know it makes us look good
yeah I guess I'm trying to do but yeah that's great man that's my fucking dog I
hallucinated there was a dog in my kitchen once and you see there was a
snake well that was a different that was a different one that's the story we
want to hear I hallucinated that well why were you hallucinating I was fucking
high on a bunch of dope and I might have took a Xanax or something and fucking
my wife was out with her friends have a dinner and I'm fucking around in the
sink you know and it's got the sprayer the sprayer the long yeah and it looks
like it's a chrome one and it looks like a snake to me because I'm so high and
I'm like oh man drug use either no but this was a time this is why you shouldn't
do it this is one of the main reasons right here so they go to yeah and so I'm
like man I better fucking kill this snake before Mary comes home because I
don't want the snake to hurt her and I'm pulling and you are like and I fucking
but and I'm doing this for like about a half hour 40 minutes I was so fucking
high and then when I snapped out of it and realized that I was fucking up my
kitchen oh my god I was in my kitchen oh my god in the snake was the fucking
sprayer I knew I was in the kitchen right well no I just I knew I was in the
kitchen but I thought it was a snake and I should have known that there's no
chrome snake but Timmy kind of got us all fucking shy oh man yeah that's
good that happens when you wake up and realize that you're not and so that I
tried yes so that I want to think back in so many questions about and I turned
on the water and water didn't come out and I looked underneath the sink and I
even though I didn't kill the snake or pull it completely out of the sprayer
it fucking bent the pipes underneath man and it fucked it up so badly yeah I
was like I'm gonna fucking freak out when I tell her how fucking stupid this
was like the dumbest fucking thing I ever did I was really and I really did
think I was like saving your life you know like I was like oh my god you know
I can't let this fucking thing get my wife working away at a contract
breathing illness yeah and not to mention realizing you're in your fucking
sink exactly must have been really high Larry but yeah that's not cool oh it's
not it's not good but so you kind of know what it's like you blacked out shit
and then you came to when I wasn't blacked out though I was fully awake and
I thought that this thing was a snake and then when I when I realized what I was
doing I'm thinking if it was a dangerous fucking snake I'm handling it like I'm
fucking that chapter where what the fucking fucking Australia they got
killed by the stingray right right fucking I'm writing maybe
fucking shit man I was handling that thing like oh Steve fucking everyone
but then I realized whoa if it wasn't you handle your pop yeah I would have
been dead man yeah cuz the word the odd is of a heaven of snake in your kitchen
Larry yeah yeah dude I wish you could have video tape that man
wrestle snake in your right that would have been great hallucinating for like I
don't know if it was like five minutes or if it was a half hour you know what
I mean I had no I have no fucking because also in my in my kitchen and a lot of
people could attest to this a lot of people in this room even when you're
not doing crazy shit and just regular just smoke a weed or have a couple
drinks my kitchen has a time warping effect I've done that it does have a
time warping effect so I'm not exactly sure how long I was it can't buy my
eyes love it's in the music smoking weed next thing you know it's six hours
later right yeah or it could happen the other way to next thing you know it's the
next day the whole thing it's a half hour five minutes like you're doing catamy
you get fucking time very time warping all right so attended here yeah I like
to call out all our listeners followers I want to give a new shout out to Chrissy
cleaning them fucking rooms out there thanks for listening doll who's that one
of one of Jay's buddies oh she told me Chrissy listens to you guys right after
she listens to like a little religious thing what up Chrissy and yeah she's
cool Tiffany Tiffany thanks again Matt for being on our last episode of rush
Russ dude Belgium Russ people in England like follow subscribe share tell
everybody at Larian needles on Twitter Larry needles yahoo the Larry needles
show yahoo dot com we have stickers for free still all really not that creeps
anything else thanks and for us for coming love you marks a creeper too yeah
sure yeah sure okay thanks for tuning in P hey I'm Larry and I'm not need
you can go to court for me yeah no thank you what if they lock me up right
there you know you're gonna settle because your wife be a barracus you and
send you to the court man knock you out maybe I have some time they're gonna make
example out of you well let's hope not yeah any any religious people out there
pray for needles that he doesn't catch fucking serious time thanks for tuning
in I'm Larry I'm needles they'd like you so much you're gonna invite you back
stay in the jail a couple weekends it's such a nice guy all right remember it
was real nice yeah