time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show
alright here we are welcome to the Larry and Needles show
I'm Larry and I'm Needles and we got casual Matt with us today
what up Matt
hello everybody
hi guys
Matt is a friend of ours in from out of town
and a hardcore listener
I'm also the inventor of the name Needles
yes you are
I forgot about that
I don't know if you invented it I kind of came into it
shall I say
you had a lot of needles on you
yeah you just said something I did
I thought you were a diabetic but you
I was mistaken
little does Matt know that we have invited him up here to be the producer of our show
but Larry and I are so stupid we forgot he lives in Florida
so what's gonna happen is the producer of our show it's kind of like prospecting for the Hell's Angels
so the next three days you got to feed the cats outside
and then make sure Larry's guitar riffs are on point
we won't make you roll around and shit or do anything weird
I'm not gonna be the guy behind the glory holes
aww man you're in front of it how's that
that's Mark's job
oh that's Van Ford's job
I didn't say his last name
that's alright though he might not out
he might not watch out
his profession offers to look at Ford from 1988
from 1988
that's right we know where to find him
he's probably cleaning the floor somewhere right now
so how you doing brother
good very very tired had no sleep the last two nights
drove to Indiana today to go buy a drum set
nice did you drive from Florida
no I flew I'm never gonna drive from Florida ever
I drove down once and that was it for moving
Florida's a fucking shit hole right here right
it's very nice what do you live
I live in the nice area I live in the fancy retirement area
nice
the bar we go to
the average age before we get there
75
nice
when we get there
it goes down to 68
68, 69 if you're lucky
yeah
the bar is they open at 11 a.m. the people get there at 10 30
fuck yeah it's also an outdoor bar it's a neighborhood bar
it's cool
I can smell the salt water Larry
they get there and drink and then by 8 o'clock everyone's gone
so you can go at night and it's perfect there's nobody there
fucking salt life baby that's what that's all about
fucking short jeans and really really really oats
you know what oats are old-ass titties
all sagging with stretch marks
we also live like we have a bunch of colleges by us
FAU is right there
for a lot of deals right I mean we're
everything's right there so it's really
did you come up here to buy a drum kit
yeah it was a drum deal not a drug deal
people think
so I had to go to the bank
no one thought that here
I had to go to the bank to get the money out
my bank's here still it's a credit union which is only in Illinois
so it's a pain in the ass to have that
but I go there and I withdraw a lot of money
A they said it was past the limit
and I said well I have a drum deal and the guy said
excuse me sir is he a drum like percussion
he's like oh okay he's like why are you out of state
and why are you here for the cash
I said again it's a drum deal
first of all asshole this is my bank and my money's here
second of all you can't even get money in the bank anymore
it was a large amount of money that's all
well but when you go to the bank to withdraw your money
they're like we don't have it you have to wait three days
I was prepared to say I close my account now and give me my cash
I was gonna go to that but I need the money for the drum set
well you can always go to Boyce Tower Larry
but it was funny it was funny he's like excuse me
I'm like drum and not drug
being out of state was weird he's like well here's my car
I'm here out of state so if you have any problems let me know
I'm like what are you gonna do help me when I'm down there
you can't do anything
no not at all so you came up here just to buy a drum kit
well there's a drum show every year called the Chicago drum show
in St. Charles
my man is a very accomplished drummer sorry to interrupt you
I've been going there for 25 out of like 30 years
it's been like I was a little kid I would go
nice
I keep touching my little fucking things
man it's just like Larry he keeps touching his little thing all the time
haha
I have a booth I've had a booth for 15 years Joe helped me
sorry Larry had a couple years
and we took a no-shirt Nix Carbo in here
yeah that was good and Larry you had Larry jammed
did you spoke with the guy from Living Clard?
nah just jammed with him
so that was cool
nice
I have a booth and I have a guy that lives near me
he drives one of my drum kits up for me and if I buy anything I'll bring it back
the one I bought today was just a quick hopefully cash flip
it's good to have a hobby right?
they're gonna be worth hobbies you know there's needles
oh yeah
let me tell you I've been involved in a lot of worse hobbies
I tell you
I also know what Mark's hobby is but we can't get into that
no that's what we're cleaning the floors
that's what he likes to do
I got a little game we could play here
I got someone's license
wait a second
Patrick D. Terry
oh ok well
Pat Terry
RIP Pat Terry
and he used to live here at this address I'm not gonna say that part
no that's part
we got some things we can guess on here like
start out with the mundane things like
do you know when his birthday was man?
I want to say either October or April
closer with October
now we're guessing people's dead people's licenses
that's what we succumb to
it's gonna be a fun game trust me
what is it?
it's 12 28 1970
ok
alright do you know his sex?
with that one
none
I mean he made love to a bottle every night
but then he grew up whatever the alcohol it was
ok
fucking his height
he probably lied about
I'm gonna guess
5 feet 5 inches
no
do you remember?
no
he said 5'9
that no way
and then his weight he probably lied about too
alright
I'm gonna say when you're not eating
145 he put
he put 135
holy shit 5'9 135
he was
I mean this guy's going on a train to Auschwitz
he's probably lying about the 135
he probably weighed about 120
he's 135 after he drinks all night
yeah I was gonna say
water weight and booze
booze weight
it was Miller light and vodka
so what's your favorite tattoo of Pads?
so I remember I first met Pads Terry and I was a youngin
yeah
when I started working there obviously
you talk to him more and you look closely at him
and
he hit his dots around his ear
and
I asked Bob
Raspy Bob will call him
oh yeah okay
your best friend
what kind of dots?
just like circular dots?
just like blue or green tattoo dots
so like a wigger chick
so I asked him how he got it he said fuck off
so I asked
rest in peace Bob Wiggins and Bob Wiggins said
you're not gonna believe it
he got so fucking drunk he went to the tattoo par
said
here's whatever bucks
what can get me
he just dotted his ears
that'd be great
it was weird
and then he had like a cross too
and he like right here he hit a bar
yeah
like a bar here
on his forearm
he always looked at it when he drank his beer
that's why he didn't look at it
but his tattoo adopters so weird and people would notice it too
but they were starting to fade
and it was very odd looking yeah
two things were fading there
Pads Terry and his tattoo
yeah
it was over time
and I remember like
we told the story of him jumping in the tall I'm sure
yeah we did
but do you remember when
okay so me and Matt both worked at the same music store
and he would get there earlier than me
he would open the store and then I would come in like an hour
or an hour and a half later
and he would call me and say glasses on
or glasses off
that was all
in the morning and I would tell Mary my wife
oh my god his glasses are already off
and it's what 9 30
and the glasses off meant
what Matt
that he was so fucked up
he didn't go to bed
he drank all night
he might have drank in the office
he might though
he did
I remember
so he had a mini fridge in there
and he had a bunch of Gatorade
and I was really thirsty and I thought it was sealed
I'll take it out and let him know
it was unsealed
I'm like it's not too big of a deal
I take a drink of it
it must have been food coloring
it's like Cheech and Chong
it must have been food coloring
oh my god
it was like
I think it might have been school actually
not a sponsor sorry
that is our sponsor
we're trying to get him to sponsor us
don't worry they will
but I'm trying to get Larry
I'm really fighting
I chugged it
I spit it out
I'm like what the fuck is this
I put it back in
20 minutes later he comes out yelling
I was gonna say he got mad
who the fuck drank my drink
I thought it was
I'm gonna buy you another one
he's like that wasn't Gatorade
I don't know that bullshit
no you think
my other rolls on music
sorry I can't say that in the store
oh it's a whistle that but
fuck rolls on music
he's like hey
it's a lunch break time
excuse me
you know let's go to the bar
I'm like hey I'm
let's go to the bar
I'm 1617
he's like don't worry about it
and this bar is closed
to date
I went to the name of the bar
but it's closed a long time ago
he's like don't worry my friend
my friend works there
I get in
I'm drinking a beer within 5 minutes
and then I'm like
well Pat we gotta go back
he's like you can go back
I'm fine
and I went back to the store
and he never showed up for how long
the rest of the day
yeah I mean when you're there
I mean when you're there
your family
and all I fucking
he would drive in his car too
to that bar which is all like
you know 2 blocks away
less than a mile away
2 blocks away
not even 2 blocks
it was faster to walk
he had to go around
stumble
even stumbling it was quicker
than getting in the car
still in danger everyone
but in the thrill of getting in the car
you know what I mean
at one point in time
where that bar was
was the biggest DUI producer
in the state of Illinois
that was all him
you know what I mean
it was a hotspot
it wasn't real but I mean
just the local precinct
had more DUIs
also had a little strip head
like fucking 6, 7 bars within
3 block radius
that cat without hitting the bar
nah you couldn't man
but
I did a lot of underage drinking
in those days too
before you did
yeah but imagine that coming
nobody gave a fuck back then
I don't know we talk about this multiple times
about how people do like drugs
and go on stage
imagine being that drunk
and running a business
oh man
well he ran the business
straight into the ground
well yeah I mean obviously
you can't park in
our cheques would bounce every time
it was a race to the
yeah
the currency exchange
you can't catch it before you try
and the currency exchange
they'd do it for a while
but after like 6, 7 weeks
they no longer took our cheques
yeah cause they were bouncing
and you got to pay a fee
I would literally
I would get the
I was there on Friday
me and Matt would be working
and literally when the cheques came out
we would run to the bank
well run there
and then you know cause anyone
a couple of fucking cheques down the road
they're not getting paid
and I remember Dahlfeis
they wouldn't catch his cheque
he came to the store
and I'm going to the fucking register
when the register took his money out
there wasn't enough money
I'm taking it all like
what are you going to do
you check bounces
you fucking go right to the source right
and then Matt was like
well if you guys would stop going there
and I would have the money
I would stop paying his fees
I'm like putting money in the bank
yeah what the fuck
it was a simple solution
like every time it happens
I got to pay a $35 fee
or like dude you run a fucking business
with paychecks going on
you stupid fucking ass
don't write a cheque
your ass can't cash
literally
I think LG probably bailed it out
a few times
I'm sure I'm sure
yeah
but at the same time
I mean the funny thing is
is all you guys work there
like at bread these
you know rat fucking Larry fucking Matt
you know what I mean
like you guys all work there
you met all these people like
and here's this fucking
cataclysm of just drunkenness
and debauchery going on there
I remember Pat back when he was like
15, 14 years old
he had his first fucking little goofy tattoo
he got like a nagle
I'm like dude that is so fucking 80s
what is that
you know nagle like the girls
with the face and the white face
they had paintings of them back in the day
like the Marilyn Monroe one
like the Andy Warhol
no man
no nagle he's an artist
these girls with white faces
and real red lips
oh yeah yeah
they used to 80s posters
like coke dealers used to have
with the black hair that would come
you got it
yeah
Pat Dury had a fucking tattoo of that
shit
he had a fucking nagle tattoo
yeah
it was ridiculous
I might be my next one
I'm right on my neck
it was fucking crazy
that's great
that's so funny
I could remember all the mirrors
in my aunt's house
they had shag carpeting on the walls
and shit dude
and then nagle
hanging over the couch with some mirror artwork
yeah there was like 40 mirrors
yeah
everybody that has an nagle
has fucking mirrors
and a deviated septum
did it Pat go to California
and then he'd go his hair out and come back
and like crawled back to LG
you found Jesus out there
to Lyle and had to do gay sex with him
and get
allegedly
allegedly but also
allegedly he'd also stay there a lot
and allegedly things would happen
but we made me remember something
we're talking about Tommy
yeah
so when LG was sick and dying
he wanted Tom to come over
and like help us stop
I remember I was joking
like do you have to swallow like Pat did
that's what he was like
oh you don't tell that to a rat
that's a thing man
he's a guy who's a game of cash though
but he's like he benefits them like
well he's gonna benefit what he's gonna get
oh definitely he's gonna get a sore ass
and a couple hundle
like you might want to shave your head
that rat tail's gonna be pulled a little too far
can you get rid of my handle
oh yeah on Larry shaved the mustache
you didn't even get to see it
I was talking about a child bike
I want to see a photo of that
I want to see that
yeah I will I'll show you
oh wait I gotta go
I want to shout out to my auntie Lynn
auntie Lynn died
and I gotta go to her memorial Thursday
and that's why I shaved the mustache
alright P. Annie Lynn
why would you do that boy yeah cause it's next to school
I gotta go see all my cousins
I gotta go see all my cousins and shit
and I don't mind looking at the fucking nut
so I fucking
I wanna make my mom happy
you know she's old and you know
alright well alright P
what's her name again
auntie Lynn
so auntie pad I talked about before
and auntie Lynn is the next
she was also the coolest aunt in the world
man that's not getting old
that's Eddie and Richie's mom
she's my two coolest cousins
Eddie and Richie
love you guys
shout out to our listeners
see you Thursday
our followers
we got a new follower today
like, subscribe
at Larry and Needles on Twitter
at the Larry and Needles show on Yahoo
yeah
we got t-shirts to give away and stickers
send us your fucking email and your address
and we'll send you some shit man
we ain't stalkers
mmhmm
Larry like some chunky dough
please sign that
what about Mark's OnlyFans page for his feet
how's that going
do you get any sign ups yet
oh man let me tell you
OnlyFans turned him down
they said you can't use animal feet
they said no bcow
we're like no look at him
we sent him the picture and they're like definitely not
they said is this a goat
what kind of animal is this
he's like a tuba cobra
I liked what he guys asked of
he didn't know what it was
and he had to explain to him
about pay for it
he was like
he didn't say I'm not going to pay for it
that's what he wanted to say
like why would I pay for it
I get it for free
I think I'm going to do that
we should start an OnlyFans for his feet
and just take pictures
you don't even know
we'll charge five bucks
because man
people should be paying off
technically for that shit
even more than that
scientists will be paying us
we're like we never saw feet like this
before could you take it from a different angle
and the left one looks different
from the right one
they are not symmetrical
like a true zombie
one's been dragging
exactly
he drags it when it cleans the floor
you ever see Shocker
West Craven
when he's got the bum leg in
versus goes around in a circle
you never see any of this
it's a great movie
it's very old school
so listen I got to talk about something
very very sad man
the winner mobile is changing
its name
do you know what that is
of course we do
yeah
what is it
the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile
it's a hot automobile
so people might not know
we got a fan in Belgium
come on
a Lamborghini
it's a fun Belgium
it's a big car that
drives around that
looks like a hot dog
it's like 50 foot
60 foot
and it looks like an Oscar Meyer hot dog
in a bun
and it's got the wrap on it
it's the way Larry's Wiener
would look like an Oscar
let me tell you
yeah
you know what they fucking
that's like Larry riding through
Boys Town bareback
I remember when we were kids man
they would have little
whistles
and stuff like the Wiener mobile
but no that was just behind the
that was in the rectory
that you blew on that little
whistle Wiener
so
I got some names
they want names
they were doing a contest
to send it in
okay
so this is going to be
under the Larry Needle show
I'll send that
first one is
Larry's meet and greet
that's fucking Larry
you think that'll fly without
a car
it's just all in big letters
it just goes to the north side
it's always parked out
in front of the manhole
oh yeah
alright
Nick Matz Rubinchak
I can't respond to that
no why not
I mean your name's on it
alright
actually that's a good business name
I mean
what's Tiffany's last name
Woodcock
Woodcock's Woodshop
I don't even know this lady
but thank you for listening
you're very cool
you must be one of the most
Russ's Rub-n-Grub
do we know where Russ is right now
oh man
he's at home
he's waiting for us to release
the new fucking podcast
because we're so hilarious
and hey by the way
wait man I'm not done
I want to just say
everybody just tell your friends
about us
okay keep on with the Rub-n-Grub
and my favorite
Bobby kisses dudes
but it's all in airbrush
and remember the Joan Collin books
where they had like Fabio on the cover
it's Fabio holding steamboat
with his long 80s hair
yeah with that long flowing
this is before Fabio got hit by that goose
or that bird remember that
what happened
you don't remember that
oh so those are my ideas for Oscar Meyer
I will send them
in a proper Larry Lido fighter head
and what do you mean by Fabio got hit by the goose
it's the Oscar Meyer Wiener Corporation
alright
what happened to Fabio
he was on a roller coaster
and a bird ran into his face
where is he going
no this is a while ago
but you can actually see pictures of it
it really fucked his ass up man
I mean poor dude
I don't even know where Fabio is from
he's like from one of those Swedish
countries where everyone's beautiful
well somewhere like that
I think he has an accent
maybe Nordic
or Swedish
maybe French
I don't know
hey man I thought it's some cool shit
okay I thought of this on my own
you know how people always say
yeah you know how people always say
NASA stands for never a straight answer
no I've never heard that before
you've heard that right man
never
okay so that's two out of one
cause they lie all the time
so a lot of people in the science world
like me and my buddy Chris
my old studio partner
his thing for NASA was always
never a straight answer
well I thought of what it really stands for
it stands for Nazi American Science Association
oh my god
Operation Paperclip
right and it only makes sense
that they would fucking make some kind of
acronym like they always do
dude
and so it stands for I believe
and I don't know this for fact
but in my mind what I thought of
and they usually put shit right in your face
so it's very possible that it stands for
Nazi American Science Association
and this is where we had the disclaimer man
the views expressed by Larry
are not the same as the needle in the map
that's what I think it stands for
where did you come up with this
where you just sit up here smoking weed
and you came up with oh man
I mean this is real scientific evidence here
which is true though
NASA did bring
you know I watched the crazy documentary
on Netflix
there was like 3,000 people or something
what's that
there was like 3,000 scientists they brought over
from Nazi Germany
it was in the 1900s and 2000s
but the best and the brightest of them
yes no matter what they did
they still brought them over here
so I was watching this documentary on Netflix
Netflix is censored and it's all right
but no no this was actually good
it's about like how drugs shaped America
how the government fucked with us with drugs
and it shows like how they infiltrated
like when they would run guns
obviously over to the other countries
and they would bring back heroin
you know what I mean
and what they started doing was
was giving it to musicians
and they started bringing it
obviously we all know that
like they would go
like the whole thing with LSD
was Ken Casey and shit like that
like they were all working on this stuff
and then remember there was those pictures
where it was like drop out
and you know drop ass
that don't make war or whatever they would say
tuning in drop out
yeah stuff like turn on or whatever
turn on drop out
they're saying that these people
well they were it's actually proven
in their paperwork
where these people were involved in the government
and the CIA
like handing drugs out to fucking
artists and shit
I wouldn't doubt it
just to control the population
which
speaking of controlling the population
how about this
let's talk about the Titanic
alright let's talk about it
do you think that all the richest people
in the world
actually got killed on the boat
by a fucking iceberg
that is such bullshit
man Larry you are on fire today
let me tell you something
tell us something brother
Rothschild and JP Morgan
wanted to start a central bank
okay
all the richest people in the world
bought tickets to
Carnegie
and the fucking
dude they were just showing
who's the other
what's the fourth guy
just Carnegie
Vanderbilt
Vanderbilt there it is
but all those guys
got off the boat at the last second
but everybody else stayed on
Aster was the richest man in America
wait a minute wait a minute
and he controlled all the politicians
slow your roll
wait a minute
where did they get off the boat
why
where
you're in the middle of the ocean
no they got off before the thing
took off on its maiden voyage
oh
cause they knew the motherfucker
was gonna go down
cause they planned it
all the people that were in opposition
of this central bank
were on the boat
and they died
and they made sure
that they didn't get on any life boats
in 1912 is when the Titanic went down
you know what date the fucking thing went down on
April 15th on tax day
isn't that something
and on
in 1913
the Federal fucking Reserve Bank was open
and everybody that was opposing
the raw childs
and JP Morgan's and Carnegie
and all these people that
Vanderbilt
yeah
they strategically
sidestep the trip
while everybody else fucking with money
so you're saying that the government
killed people
I'm saying that they fucking
killed those fucking people for money purposes
and if you think that a fucking
they probably bombed them with another fucking ship
you think that a fucking
they probably bombed them with another ship
it's like torpedoes you're talking about
what do you think about that Matt
do you think that the government would kill
American citizens on its own soil
what a fucking
I'm gonna plead the fifth right now
oh man this is not a court of law yet
keep talking
it's a little out there Larry but I
I mean it's it could happen
where did you get your facts from first Larry
I was reading it on the internet
yeah I got the fucking shit in my back
just reading all the facts and putting it together man
putting it on
dude how many fucks dude you only have two hands
you got a lot of fucking string going on here
whatever
I mean okay so you're telling me that
these people took the made it
dude that's like the Hindenburg too
there's also something about that all those rich people
I don't know that let's hear it
no I don't know I'm just saying there's also a conspiracy
theory about the Hindenburg
where they had these people that went on there of
certain opulence and wealth
and somebody took them out which
it's possible
who the fuck would fly
Hindenburg now the Hindenburg did not
that wasn't the maiden voyage that thing
went back and forth all the time
no I know yeah but I'm just saying
it wasn't the first voyage I didn't mean that
yeah I know I'm just saying
it's a differentiating from the Titanic
that's all keep that's all
man Larry you got so many
fucking pins and so many strings dude
you're like Vishnu
me and Matt were talking earlier before you came down there
is it Matt and I or me and Matt
Matt and I
Matt and I were speaking up
Matt and I were kissing upstairs
allegedly
if I sue you the discovery is going to
have to come out so we'll find out
what were we talking about I forgot already
we were talking about you were telling me
how you like how we talk about the
Frenchie story
wait you didn't even have permission to say what he said
oh no no no no I want to talk about this
permission so
you guys talked about Frenchie
yeah we had
we were Frenchie
we always do
we're to begin but one of my favorite memories
this is when I was 16 17
hanging out with a bunch of 30 year olds
mid 30s
and you know Frenchie would be driving
drunk high on probably everything
Larry being the Frenchie and I being the back
this would be a daily thing at Roseanne Music
because I worked like a school program
where I got to work full time
after 12 so that was perfect
they sent you to the worst place
that a high school kid
I mean seriously
every single drug was being
done in that place
I'll talk to you about that too but
so with Frenchie
my favorite memory was going to this car he'd be like
hey we're gonna go to liquor store
he'd buy a six pack or a 12 pack and he'd be like
I got this guy you know
he can't drink his wife doesn't want him to drink
and every day I go there I get him a six pack
he gives me like a 20 I think
every day at the clock or we do it every day
and I'd be like what in the hell
so then Larry all of a sudden a light bulb switch
that comes on and he has this story which is amazing
yeah and it turns out that
uh
Courtney
says to me her dad died
and
when I come to the funeral and I'm sorry
and I'm sorry and shit
I know who you're talking about
by the pond
by the lake yeah I know what you're talking about
and your dad was the guy
that we would bring the booze to
and I didn't even fucking realize it
and I didn't even know and it was
it was Frenchie who did it really
well yeah I mean what
he would do it but like he'd be like oh you go did it
go over there it was very ironic man
it was very ironic man
I mean I know Frenchie
was doing it
he'd be like there's a 20 underneath the floor mat
or there's a 20 in the mailbox
and I already know your dad
I met him through Frenchie and she's like
that motherfucker
that motherfucker killed my dad
whoa man jeez
that's how she was at the time
I don't think he was banged up before
he was banged up before he met Frenchie
he could not drink
and he wasn't supposed to drink
and I didn't know that and Frenchie's bringing the guy fucking
a lick is a lick
you know what I mean like
you're a dude and you need to make money
especially when you need it every day
Frenchie, tell me the story about his kid though
you were going to tell me the secret
he was doing his kid did man
I don't like talking about kids
he's getting older at this time
he's like two years younger than me
he's not a kid
the younger boy, not the older one that he turned into a druggy
but the younger boy that stayed away
from shit
also turned out to be kind of wacky
thank you Larry
my friend Andrea
she lives right around the corner
her kids fucking hang out
with fucking Frenchie's youngest kid
right? yeah
and they all party
let's call him Fudge
I actually have what Fudge did
at Andrea's house for my notes
you call Frenchie Fudge?
I call this youngest son Fudge
I knew him since he was a fucking boy
this is fitting because
waiting to hear the story speaking of Fudge
so Andrea says
I'm sick of you fucking kids coming in and out of the house all night
because her house was the house
that they hung out
so I don't want nobody coming in the house tonight
okay
now they're all outside
so they're all outside
so anyways they're hanging in the garage
and she's leaving the next morning
and she looks
and she sees a t-shirt in the middle of her yard
and she goes and looks
gets out of her car and checks it out
and it's a pile of human shit
with fucking
someone wiped their ass with the t-shirt
and so she's like
what the fuck
she grabs her daughter and she's like
who did this and she's like Fudge did it
oh man
because you told us no one could come in the house
and he had to take a shit in the middle of the yard
and she's like you can't go to the bar
right there
or you can't go to McDonald's and take a shit
or you know maybe
you can't come in and use the bathroom
with something like that
and you can't get in the yard like that
so the kids shit in the yard
and now you don't got a t-shirt either man
no
let me tell you
easy guy to check out
that fucking took a shit in the yard
the guy with the itchy ass and no shirt on
exactly
I got one more Frenchie story
it was a guitar store in Algonquin
way out in those sticks
and I got a big gamble too
Larry's in the front and the back
I'm again 1617
man these stories are almost
pet a feeling
it's close to it
nobody ever touch man
when he was away
so
I'm noticing he's sweating a lot
and like oh boy
and he's already drunk
we're kind of swerving and I'm like oh boy
we get to the guitar store
and I walk around looking
there's like one guy guitarist or he's like watching all of us
Frenchie just
Frenchie out of his mind
plugs a guitar in
not a stairway to heaven but just being stupid
he can't play anyway
the guy looks at him and he's like ah fuck you
I think you were buying a guitar or looking at a guitar
but you were kind of having the back too
sure
but he was the one driving
I remember like can I drive home
he's like you're not old enough
you're not old enough to cruise
like
20 years later
I'm like wait a second
I was 16 hanging out 34 years old
this guy was on 2-8 balls
driving me probably on 3-6 fast
you know what a good Frenchie
story was his basement flooded
and me and Jay Burr said
with the pocket twat
I love that but it's still a funny story
it's just like floating around
and he's telling our people reruns
what are you talking about
we just said this not long ago
that's alright man
how about this man
what man
fucking Camilla Harris
Camala say her name
say her name
they want to put her in charge of A.I
Biden wants her in charge
anal investigation
yeah
so all anal investigations
are going to be done by her
from now on
with her hands on her mouth
first she checks with her tongue
if something's in there
she checks further with her hands
well not something in there
she can taste the diseases
so anyways
they want her in charge of artificial intelligence
and
I don't know if
she's going to do as good as she did at the border
she's not going to do anything
let's not even talk about the border
she's the president she's a fucking Malacca
you know what I mean
that's what I'm saying
in charge of artificial intelligence
and she's the dumbest motherfucker out there
when you listen to her talk
it dumbs you down
I mean
she's the biggest threat of our time
I don't know about that
democracy is the biggest threat
that's what it is
because we're fighting against each other
nobody can fucking get along
we need a dictator
we're kidding
a legend
you said it man
that one's going on there
what kind of dictator do you want though
a communist dictator
all dictators are
all dictators
what kind of dictator do you want
a North Korean dictator
do you want one of the Chinese
Chinese doing a lot of North Korea
you know what I mean
they got dictators
we all do
we do
we don't
dude
that is a visible sigh
oh man
what
you don't think that we're getting run by a dictator
I don't think you and I
everything is fucking fixed
I don't think you and I are the right people to talk about politics
which makes it even funny
but I'm just saying
I think that it's all a dictatorship
smoking mirrors
no matter if the democrats take over
it's going to be like this
the republicans it's going to be the fucking same
yeah it doesn't matter
it's a dictatorship
now you're getting to realize it
no it's not a dictatorship
if someone just takes over
infinity
they take over till they die or they're taken out
like Gaddafi didn't he get raped in the ass
in the streets
he was dragged through the streets
they almost killed
they didn't kill them
they like sodomized him
they threw him in the back of pickup truck
his people
but I mean his fucking
I thought we killed Gaddafi
no, no, no more Gaddafi
maybe it wasn't Gaddafi
but you know what I'm saying
let me tell you
history facts on the leader of the needle show are not backed up by anything
that's why I'm here to be our producer
unless I say so then they're all
yeah okay
if it comes out of Larry's mouth that shit is fucking stolen
aliens transported people from the titanic to
zoombaz or whatever
I didn't say that that's your bullshit
well no that's when I get the gist of your stuff
okay
so keep on going what else then
what else did Lyle duty
in that dark room
no actually she asked Bobby Bronco that because
Bobby Bronco
what did Lyle do to Bobby
I mean what did he do
that guy likes to buck and fuck
he got raises every three months
oh man
what are wrong with kissing ass
he'd go to the Nam shows and Lyle would be like
your room got canceled but
dude wait a second
Nam, Nambla? Nambla show?
Nam is national American music merchants
they show all the new gear
and I'm sorry to interrupt you
and Steamboat would get the fucking
tickets in the room
to go to the Nam show and it was a big deal to go
and then at the last minute
his room would get canceled
and he would have to bed down with Lyle
I'd be like I only got one bed it's a king
but we can go head to head
you're gonna be my queen
you're just queen don't worry
you know what though
he's got that sweet telly it was worth it
you know
hey man you gotta crack some eggs and make an omelet don't ya
what was his dog's name
Kelly
Kelly, come here Kelly
and when Kelly passed away
Robert had to take over some duties if you know what I mean
peanut butter looking duties
and eventually a peanut butter went away
and it was just a good ol' Oscar
my rewiener in there
before that
he had a dog named Frank
after his gay boyfriend
in the rock band
who was a drummer
who you talking about? oh Lyle
the dog was named Frank
and then the next dog was named Kelly
kind of weird names for dogs
I like a good human name on a dog though
when someone calls a dog
Teddy kind of cool
our next door neighbor's dog was Teddy
Jim
well my cat's name is Helena
it's a human name
I don't understand that
but who's the commie here
you got some against Poles or something
I don't know I don't
you're cleaning lady
the deciphered fucking Anford feeps
so you gotta remember that do I gotta write that in the fridge?
well she's not coming
she's not coming Thursday
cause
I gotta go to my aunt's memorial
but she's gonna be here the next
two Thursdays after that
alright cool then we'll get her to decipher that shit
not two Thursdays in a row
I'm talking two Thursdays later
she'll be here so like a month
it'll be like a month
by the way this is our
41st day
of podcasting
41st episode
wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
41st episode
this is the 41st day that we've been on the air
how many episodes you had?
we got 30 something
so I've wasted 30 something hours of my life
it's not wasting when you're learning
and you're a monk's friend
it's not even learning though it's just like you said
it's like being at the table when you're not there
yeah like it reminds me of like
you know even Bobby Brocco said this like 15 years ago
to me like you could spend
you could be at Larry's house
sit down at the table and literally it would be
you get there at two in the afternoon and it literally
it's 2am and a blink of an eye
and you don't know why
I like the brand
I wasn't partaking in all of that
you didn't do the hard drugs
you say back in the old days when everyone was
hanging out and shit and you say man
every time I come over to your house Larry
you're gonna be on Grand Theft Auto
game or something
which I never played
but I imagine it's pretty fun
if I did play video games
yeah it is you like give
hookers your money and then you beat them up and you steal your money back
I mean serious
this is a very popular game
amongst children
I do want to ask preteens also
not to the subject but about the show
what's that?
when's your next live drive with Mary
who's the most?
we want to live
you gotta wear helmets
well I mean Larry does that all the time
like in racing scenes
he had to look at them to make sure he didn't have one
that was great
but I think you guys need to go somewhere with no GPS
and say start driving to see what happens
what was that
what the fuck were we gonna do the last time
oh well no I want to do driving school first
and I want to pay for Mary to do driving school
and we're gonna go along
in the backseat
yeah we're just gonna record
smoke weed
we'll hang the recorder
we'll kind of structure you again
we'll hang the recorder from the rear view mirror
so we can hear the driver telling us shit too
the brake noise
the instructor's gonna be a guy at the DOI
so you can hear
that's alright man
the only one's gonna accept the test
what's a little of a lack of in this video
y'all just got to wait
cause Mary lives by the seat of her pants
that was a great episode
we'll do some more driving with Mary first here
rush hour
rush hour's okay
cause we're not going anywhere
we're stuck in traffic
it's when she gets on the open road you have to watch out
actually no strip balls
that's a strip balls
Mary's kryptonite
Mary's kryptonite is like a tight ass strip ball
with like 50 stores in it
like home goods
and then like a fucking uh
what is that, Best Buy?
we're all motherfuckers just going and got paneras over here
9 coffee
parking challenge
she could parallel park like nobody had
but she could
she could barely see over the wheel
high school
there's a driving lot over there
the map, you guys could have a video and put it on youtube
I know we owe
some faces though but
no not at all
of the children
you're gonna go in the trunk
Larry's got a couple in there
they'll be blurred out with your voices changed a little bit
oh you can sound like a
group of the money
well that's what no shirt nigg said
he'll come on the show if we can get one of the next guys
oh we can't we just guys
you really will
we're gonna take a pool cue and break in half
and give one of the end of you and no shirt nigg
it's gonna be a video
because he's gonna want to take a shirt off
well I mean obviously and then we're gonna want it
and then Liryanne he'll commentate it
you can do shadows you can't see his face
all you gotta do is if you put on like EDM
or something nigg will stop fighting and they'll like
play airbages
that's his script tonight
he's putting on like
anything like top 40
he'll like dance fight
you gotta watch out for that
what's that shit called tube of cover or something
when they dance around and kick and shit
look tube of cover is Mark's feet
it's only fans name
exactly
tube of cover
what's up bro
oh man
so when are you going back to Florida
next Monday I have a six o'clock flight
nah it's not bad
so you got some time then
we'll be back in the area
Sunday night but not till late
we'll see
you going to the event
I want to man I want to go
let's talk about the drum show
Matt's buddies with a lot of cool guys
a lot of famous drummers
can't say names
don't tell us
we don't want to ruin any careers
but
our associations
but the other thing is
Matt is one of the greatest
drummers and I gave him his name
Casual Matt
because he could
play so casually and
still fucking nail it
it's remarkable
he doesn't get tired
he doesn't work up a sweat
this fucking guy never worked up a sweat
any gig
he can check fucking emails with his right hand
and be fucking
drumming with his left hand
I said dude don't check emails
on stage anymore please
what is he what's email so important too
he has a job that he has
he's a physical attitude
guys out in the jam and
pay your bill
he's just answering emails at one hand
I mean Jesus Christ you're poor old lady
they're fucking vagabrogate
a break from this guy
just hammer fisting her all day
she's like
quit doing paradiddles on my clit
it's too funny
but
think it's a compliment though Larry
nah yeah it's truly
man it's the best
it's still good
I know I just saw the feed I thought it went down
but it just fucking
went out
come on baby
so needles you were too half my podcast
you were dillard daddling for a little while so
damn I can't soccer you
I must have turned it off
Larry can you get that big grey
vodka bottle
we have a mob on over no lube this time
you're putting my ass?
every minute you're late
we're taking the cap off and there's bleach inside there
so
what are you guys, serial killers?
both you gonna fuck my ass and nothing there
you can't be late anymore
you're sick oh no
we were discussing your penalty and that came up
my penance
for being late for half of my own podcast
you look down
I don't think these people care about that
all they care about is
that we create
horrible content
very dark alley
I actually really enjoy it like I said
it's like listen to you guys talk
it makes me laugh I was in the airplane actually listening to this
on the way here
I appreciate that thank you very much
subscribe
you guys have some good analytics
I know but they're not that great at all
like I said thanks to all our fans
I don't know why you listen to us because Larry and I
can't stand each other
we just air our grievances down in the
basement but he hasn't called me stupid yet
so that's good oh yeah
fucking idiot there you go
there's the first one
there you go but no I appreciate that
it's you know what it's funny that's stupid
it's very
not that stupid
you guys should do youtube I think that's going to come soon
no shirt and it comes on because he's got to show off
his no shirtness
you should get him a guy fox mask
you know I got one
I got one out there oh really? oh yeah
gay fox for you
grand cave it's a mean
you get some
you go on youtube then make some money
get some ads or mad revenue I don't want that
man I just want to have a good time
you get some
revenue
we can make revenue you know what listen
I don't even I want to learn how to do
a video though but I'm
I'm so fucking retarded about it
you know what I mean oh
I'm going to tell you something that fucking bothers me
what bothers you listen
I'm in Liberty
ville today yeah driving out
fucking far away from
you know what I mean like I'm in a good area
fucking group of
bikers not motorcyclists
motorcyclists
bikers tour de France fuckers
oh bicyclists
yeah and not bikers
bicyclists I don't know whatever
and there's fucking I mean this was mecca for you Larry
it's just like nine dudes
in short shorts with their asses
hanging out just pedaling away
and they took up the whole lane
and that's all through I mean you were just
praying to the east baby
sounds excellent
so these fuckers okay so what's
a
group of geese right a gaggle
gaggle these are a bunch of fucking
faggles
yeah a whole gang of bicyclists
when they're dressed for like the tour de
France and there's like a water tower
right there and there's a faggle
of bicycles yeah the faggle of bicycles
was Bobby Bronco in the lead
spotter no and these guys were
assholes like would you try to pass them one
of them would come out of the fucking lane
to like block you what you could do
over them pass them let's go through
them
man listen
there was an African-American
gentleman in the group
and I don't want this to turn into some Charlottesville
shit you know what I mean
but they blocked the whole fucking road
and wouldn't let me go by
and then we're looking
and they're not going very fast
well I mean they're going as fast as a fat
middle-aged guy that lives in the suburbs
can go I mean this guy's muffin top
was wider than the fucking
seat dude oh man and I mean
let me tell you even I mean
I was appalled by this man
because he already had to do his little hill
and he had to stand up to get up there
yes and handle it
well and all it is
just a man's ass pumping
like a short bike
and this guy is a
a truciously fat
you taking pictures? no
I got I don't want to get my phone
later yes it's another watch list
I mean you should see the stuff that Larry sends me
I'm on the three different watch lists
from Larry
I mean the most
craziest shit ever
he's like Michelle Obama banging alien
and now they're driving a Cadillac
I got a man
well I mean
if it's there it's there well I mean
she you don't know if she's a man right baby
that's for sure I don't know about that
well you need
a house to fall on you
no I want to see her dick
everybody's seen her dick
have you? yeah
now you're just being silly
I mean
why would you say that? I mean I didn't see it
bare I saw it through the clothes
now you're changing your story
I saw her dick through the clothes flopping around
on Ellen DeGeneres and everything
what do you mean?
hey man
you're like that dude
I don't know
that is allegedly
that's the biggest allegedly on the show to date
she's a man
she's a man baby
everybody knows that
Matt?
I mean I haven't seen it like Larry has
yeah so once again
two against one
I mean where did you see this dick
flopping around
on Ellen DeGeneres
on her face? no
that's the last place Ellen hangs out
no she hangs out there
no she's more into that
ritualistic stuff
money stuff
they all are
and she's definitely
definitely a man
that theory is fizzling out
no it's not fizzling
I know our fans and our listeners
know what I'm talking about
yes I'm sure they do
they know I'm right
they know you're out of your fucking gourd
for saying that Michelle Obama is a man
for all kinds of reasons
for that too
which other ones?
I mean if you're gonna fucking throw shade bring it sucker
any number of things
oh that's number one
I don't think Michelle Obama is a man
that's number one
about number two Larry what is it
I pissed on the toilet seat once
any number of things
this is fucking fizzish
this is an outrage
whatever
it really is just throwing things
that's alright though Larry
I still love you
fuck you son of a bitch
I just remembered something
when you were talking about Larry in your past episode
he talked about him being a sugar daddy
or sugar baby
we were joking earlier
I know exactly when
because we worked together
that was his last job
your last time working there
was probably 2004
so almost 20 years
the last time you paid taxes
income taxes
when is the last time you filed taxes
income taxes I always do man
for what? sugar baby tax
the government has to give you money
and then they see a picture
oh Larry's got teeth
yeah
dude he got rid of the child's bike
and he's got teeth now
congratulations Larry
dude they look amazing bro
wow they're all gone
oh dude no no no
I thought a few were only gone half of them
half of them were gone
it was a ying ying in his mouth
he had half the teeth on one side
and then the fucking teeth on the other
are you still missing the one on the bottom
I didn't notice that
you got it let me tell you
but congratulations kids
don't do I mean just don't do
drugs man
I mean they're not what they used to be
you know at least Larry had a good time
losing his teeth now you'll die
that's the truth
it really is and it's sad
we can't even fucking get good drugs
we can't even party casually anymore
you fucking die
I want to talk to you about
I remember when I first met
we used to live near each other
in our town and I used to see you
walk down the street sometimes
I'd be like that's needles
but I've heard you walk around
like you look at people and you walk at you
but who the fuck's this
because we kind of knew each other from Larry
but we didn't know each other
and Larry only lived
two three blocks away from where I was at
you were in the middle of us
we used to come over to Larry's house every fucking day
plus I could have been
Needle's brother walking around
just like him
fucking Javer
except more nervous
I remember
to put it mildly
nervous
he had an anxious
he had an anxious lay about it
get a little tick to him
pinpointed back then
you know what I mean now
sometimes he wasn't but sometimes he really was
yeah well I mean we all become unhinged
every once in a while
or used to
that's the truth
can't do nothing about it
I've known Larry for it
you know what I mean like you've known Larry forever
I've known fucking it's crazy
I missed your question how old are you when you first met Larry
I don't know
were you 16 as well
no
I mean look at this guy
he's a grimmer
he's a fur-
I told the story I was like
this fucking guy when he came over
Frenchie brought him I'm like dude I told you
don't bring anyone to my house man what the fuck
oh no
no this guy's okay
I'm like yeah no I don't think so
but yeah it's alright
no it's okay
I forget Frenchie
well yeah I mean you have to
he's not alive
you guys got to do a
memoriam of all the people left
yeah we do like a Jim Carroll thing kinda
yeah
that'd be funny
maybe a long list
sadly
oh
alright let's shut it down then
so follow us on Twitter
at Larry and Needles
shout out to Matt he's right next to me
yeah we don't have to
I hear it though
big break makes you have him guys I appreciate it
oh man we love you man
follow us like
subscribe tell your fucking friends
Spotify, Apple
all major platforms
hashtag Larry and Needleshow
yeah we can do that
we're still learning how to use Twitter
shout out to Russ
only fans
like I said dude if you send us your fucking
email or something a PO box
or something we'll send you a t-shirt
and some stickers man we make everything
we made the t-shirts in-house
I eat the stickers but they're awesome
oh we'll take a picture and put it on Twitter
that's what we're gonna do
of what?
of the t-shirts and the stickers
send us your fucking PO box or something
then we'll send you a t-shirt and a sticker
or anything over 2X you gotta pay us
thanks
damn it
sorry Matt how many
prisoners do you have on your listeners
cause you're gonna have a lot of jail cells in mail too
I mean are you a cop?
something a cop would say
Matt gets his own
Matt gets his slide on the 2X world
well thank you for having me guys
hopefully I'll be back next year
thank you very much man
we appreciate you coming
alright thank you
peace, I'm Larry
oh god yeah
I'm Larry
and I'm Needles
thanks for tuning in peace bro sucka