1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000 Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show. 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Larry and Needles. 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,000 Larry and Needles. 4 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:14,000 Larry and Needles. 5 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,000 Alright, here we... 6 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,000 Yeah, we're hot. 7 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,000 Hey, welcome to Larry and Needles show. 8 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,000 I'm Larry. 9 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,000 And I'm fucking Needles, man. 10 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,000 And we got Mark and Kiki with us today 11 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,000 and it's gonna be good because, uh... 12 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,000 Yeah, man, they're fucking cool cats and, uh... 13 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,000 Well, no, man, keep going. 14 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,000 They're our boys. They're our boys, man. 15 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,000 I mean, he's a flashy kid. 16 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,000 Yeah, he loves... 17 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:40,000 Mike loves everyone so much that the fucking meaning starts to wear off. 18 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,000 It's like following a racist. 19 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,000 You're racist. 20 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000 I'm sorry. 21 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:48,000 I said I'm sorry so many times it doesn't mean anything. 22 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,000 It also doesn't mean anything. 23 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000 I'm racist. 24 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,000 I love his racist. 25 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,000 Man, I love you, buddy. 26 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,000 He's racist. 27 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000 You know what? 28 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,000 He loves everyone. 29 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,000 He loves that hand. 30 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000 Alright, so who wants a... 31 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,000 Alright, so what's racist? 32 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000 Who's a racist? 33 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000 She's a racist. 34 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,000 I know, he's just muttering. 35 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,000 That's the Tourette's. 36 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:12,000 And I wanted to read you a little passage from this, uh... 37 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:16,000 Up and Down with the Rolling Stones by Tony Sanchez. 38 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,000 Okay, well, give some backstory on it before they do it. 39 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,000 This is actually a... 40 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000 This is a cool... 41 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,000 Larry, give some backstory, please. 42 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,000 Well, this... 43 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,000 Oh, so this is Sanchez's drug dealer. 44 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000 Yeah, he was a drug dealer. 45 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,000 He was like Keith's runner and shit. 46 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,000 So he's a drug dealer that sold drugs to Keith Richards. 47 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,000 But this had none to do with the story. 48 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,000 He wrote a book which is, I mean, you get beat down from your hand all day. 49 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,000 This is Sigmund Freud's quote, anyway. 50 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,000 Hasn't done to do with Keith or anything. 51 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,000 Oh, Sigmund Freud? 52 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:44,000 Yeah, and he said in 1884 to his wife... 53 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,000 Yes? 54 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,000 ...Woe to you, my princess. 55 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:53,000 When I come, I will kiss you quite red and feed you until you are plump. 56 00:01:53,000 --> 00:02:01,000 And you will willfully resist, you shall see, who is the stronger, a gentle girl who doesn't eat enough, 57 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,000 or a big wild man with cocaine in his veins. 58 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,000 Oh, yeah. 59 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,000 I just thought it was funny. 60 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,000 Every single wild man with cocaine... 61 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,000 Every single deadly sin. 62 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,000 You know what I mean? 63 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,000 Walk me and you know what I mean? 64 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,000 Like, I mean, this fucking guy... 65 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,000 Sigmund Freud, he wanted to fuck his mom. 66 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,000 And there was Sigmund Freud? 67 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,000 Yeah, you know, and he's the guy that everything... 68 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,000 Everything was... 69 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000 Everything connected to fucking his mom. 70 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,000 He was a psychiatrist. 71 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,000 I know he was a psychiatrist, but when did he start, though? 72 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:34,000 Well, that quote was from 1884, so that mother of Freud was old, yeah. 73 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,000 Okay, so... 74 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,000 150 years ago. 75 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:43,000 Well, and you know, at the dawn of psychiatry and mind fucking and shrink, you know, like shrink... 76 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,000 I mean, the East half of those fucking... 77 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:52,000 You know, calling, like, naming the parts, like the id and the ego and your psyche and all that shit, 78 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,000 when they started coming up with that. 79 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,000 Well, when he started becoming self-aware sort of. 80 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,000 Yeah, well, he's like at the dawn of that shit. 81 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,000 He's one of the... 82 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,000 I mean, think about it, though. 83 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,000 Everybody's got to fucking... 84 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,000 When it was expressed. 85 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,000 Yeah, you gotta come up with a theory to some extent, you know what I mean? 86 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,000 Like, people are fucking... 87 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,000 People are fucking whimmyings. 88 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,000 I mean, East half of those clinics, what was that movie, remember? 89 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,000 With the Kellogg's Reef to Fury of the Lion? 90 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,000 He was the only one that wanted to fuck his own mom. 91 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,000 Well, I mean, that's a weird thing to say. 92 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,000 I don't want to bang my mom. 93 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,000 No, but there's a lot of people out there that don't like that. 94 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:26,000 I mean, there's a lot of people that want to bang dogs and do other shit, but you know, you can't... 95 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,000 But not everyone's needle. 96 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,000 As long as it's two years old and dog age, you're good. 97 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,000 Well, if it's two years old, if it's a two-year-old dog, that thing's like what? 98 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,000 14. 99 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,000 Yeah, there you go. 100 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,000 That was the joke, Larry. 101 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,000 You finally caught up over it. 102 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,000 Dude, I didn't do the math myself. 103 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,000 He was explaining the joke. 104 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,000 It's just a big joke. 105 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,000 How much slow fucking learn, fuck off. 106 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,000 Clip it. 107 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,000 It sundered out. 108 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,000 Look at the slider my buddy gave me. 109 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,000 I love it. 110 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,000 I love it. 111 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,000 Dude, that's a massive Zippo. 112 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,000 That's like bigger than a pack of ciggies. 113 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,000 No, I mean... 114 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,000 It's like a flask. 115 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,000 It's a flask, but it's a lighter. 116 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,000 What are you looking for there? 117 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,000 There we go. 118 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,000 Alright, I got a story for you guys. 119 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,000 Tell me a story there, all right. 120 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,000 What do you guys consider a hate crime? 121 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,000 One at a time. 122 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,000 Okay. 123 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,000 I'm being serious. 124 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:22,000 Yeah, well I would consider a hate crime if you, you know, do something to somebody, 125 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:28,000 and not because they did something to you, but because of who they are, and you just hate them. 126 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,000 Well, no, because, yeah. 127 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,000 Oh, because of the race. 128 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,000 Hey, slow down. 129 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,000 Because of the race. 130 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,000 Sorry, sorry. 131 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,000 Yeah, because, yeah. 132 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,000 You can't even keep his mouth shut. 133 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,000 But not because they did anything to you. 134 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,000 Yeah. 135 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,000 Okay. 136 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,000 What do you think of a hate crime? 137 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,000 Yeah, what do you mean? 138 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,000 Are you telling me? 139 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,000 I mean, the definition of a hate crime in your words. 140 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,000 Well, hate crime, like the media sees it like it's a racist type thing? 141 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,000 No, your words. 142 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,000 What do you think it is? 143 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,000 The real meaning. 144 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,000 Yeah, what? 145 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,000 I mean, it's all going to start at a basis of people. 146 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,000 Right? 147 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:59,000 Yeah, well you go out to intentionally hurt somebody. 148 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,000 Yeah, because of race, creed, and all that bullshit. 149 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,000 Absolutely. 150 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,000 Yeah. 151 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,000 Crime, what do you think of a hate crime? 152 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,000 Yeah, that's just it. 153 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,000 Like... 154 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,000 The definition of a hate crime? 155 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:14,000 Like, in particular race or whatever, religion, and you attack them somehow or you're some 156 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,000 of them. 157 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,000 Just because that's what they are. 158 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,000 Right. 159 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,000 This is what the fucking... 160 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,000 That is a crime. 161 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,000 This is a stature. 162 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,000 Crime. 163 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,000 The actual new definition of a hate crime? 164 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:28,000 Yeah, a crime that targets a victim typically motivated by prejudice on the basis of ethnicity. 165 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,000 Ethnicity. 166 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,000 Ethnicity. 167 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,000 Yes. 168 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,000 Religion, sexual orientation. 169 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,000 Right. 170 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,000 So a man, and I'm not making this up. 171 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,000 Okay, crime. 172 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,000 So someone went out and beat up someone because they were gay. 173 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,000 Because they're Asian. 174 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,000 Because they're Asian. 175 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,000 Because they're... 176 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,000 That's a hate crime. 177 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,000 Yeah, that's a hate crime, man. 178 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:50,000 So here, this man, Freddie Innocent. 179 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,000 I love the name. 180 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,000 54 years old, man. 181 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,000 I mean, this is like SVU. 182 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,000 Dun dun dun. 183 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,000 Is this the onion? 184 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,000 I mean, come on. 185 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,000 Freddie Innocent. 186 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000 This guy's making Freddie Innocent. 187 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,000 Yeah. 188 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,000 Freddie Innocent. 189 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,000 This guy's on my side. 190 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,000 Two Ns. 191 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,000 You know, I'll definitely answer her. 192 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,000 Two Ns. 193 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,000 Freddie Innocent. 194 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,000 This guy didn't do nothing. 195 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,000 Sounds like a turkey game. 196 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,000 I see Freddie Innocent wearing like a purple suit. 197 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,000 I see him wearing an orange jumpsuit. 198 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,000 The complete opposite of Innocent. 199 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,000 He's got like a pit bull. 200 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,000 He's got like a right. 201 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,000 His hat. 202 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,000 What did 100 call Innocent? 203 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,000 Call Freddie Innocent. 204 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,000 I'll get you out of any shit. 205 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,000 Yeah. 206 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,000 When they beat you. 207 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,000 I'm not a lawyer. 208 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,000 But I will fix it. 209 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,000 Just don't record it. 210 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,000 So in cash. 211 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,000 So Freddie Innocent. 212 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,000 Freddie Innocent. 213 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,000 This guy's 45, man. 214 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,000 It was trying to picture to put it up. 215 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,000 We need to get a white board so we can start doing stuff like this. 216 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,000 We're going to get real advanced someday. 217 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:59,000 So this homeless person had to go to the bathroom. 218 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,000 Okay. 219 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,000 And he took two pride flags. 220 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,000 And shit on one. 221 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,000 Oh man. 222 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,000 The white business. 223 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,000 Well. 224 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,000 Wait. 225 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,000 We're going to white you. 226 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,000 Hey, crime. 227 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,000 I would white my ass through the rolling stones. 228 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,000 Slow down. 229 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,000 And I love the stones. 230 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,000 These two flags. 231 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,000 The closest things to it. 232 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000 What then reach of them. 233 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,000 Yes. 234 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,000 And hopefully. 235 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,000 And what she just said. 236 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,000 Where's her name? 237 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,000 I don't think it's a hate crime if nobody gets her. 238 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,000 But what color of the flag was used? 239 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,000 If it was a brown rainbow. 240 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,000 One pride flag. 241 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,000 If it was a brown stripe. 242 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,000 If it was a brown stripe and he got it, you know. 243 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,000 Dude, listen. 244 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,000 Imagine wiping your ass with a flag. 245 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000 What's that? 246 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,000 Imagine wiping your ass with a flag. 247 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,000 Was it a silky one? 248 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,000 Was it a real conny one? 249 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,000 Larry, I mean these are gay flags. 250 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,000 Silky as shit. 251 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,000 I mean they come from China. 252 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,000 We know that. 253 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,000 They fund them. 254 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,000 But this fucking guy. 255 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000 So what happened to him? 256 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000 Oh shit. 257 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000 He's going to get 25 years in an important. 258 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,000 Well, first off, what state was it in? 259 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,000 So it was in California. 260 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,000 New York. 261 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,000 Oh, he's spot. 262 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,000 It was California, New York. 263 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,000 This was a total hate crime. 264 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,000 Courtney Barrell, the shop owner that he took the crime. 265 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000 The things that. 266 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,000 And then the next quote was he could have used napkins. 267 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,000 Oh. 268 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000 What a bunch of places. 269 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,000 Well wait, where are the napkins next to the pride flags? 270 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,000 That's the question. 271 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,000 How far away were the napkins? 272 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,000 So you were charged with burglary, harassment. 273 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,000 And trespassing. 274 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,000 And hate crime. 275 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:37,000 First of all, if a guy's taking a shit in front of your store, he should get charged with something. 276 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,000 Dude, New York's out of control. 277 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,000 I'll tell you what. 278 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,000 I mean. 279 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:44,000 If this guy was under the age of 40, I just saw a website that pays you $500 for shit. 280 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,000 I mean to do shit like that. 281 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,000 If you have good microbes in your shit, they'll pay you $500. 282 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:52,000 Oh yeah, listen to what Kiki just sent us the other day. 283 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,000 Oh dear, awesome. 284 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000 Let's talk about this. 285 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,000 No, seriously. 286 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,000 This is insanity. 287 00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:00,000 Which, if you're like a healthy, you know, health specimen. 288 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,000 Which leaves us out. 289 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,000 At least 30 to 40 years old. 290 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,000 Well yeah, it kind of does leave us out of this. 291 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,000 I think they're age rage. 292 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,000 I think they're farming data. 293 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:13,000 No, no dude, the thing is, they take, from your stool, they take your microbiome. 294 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000 Yeah, exactly man. 295 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:19,000 So if you have a good, healthy microbiome, they'll pay you $500 for a crap. 296 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,000 You get 340, 180 grand a year. 297 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,000 180 grand a year. 298 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,000 And your games are always the first Larry to shit. 299 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000 Selling your shit? 300 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000 Selling your shit. 301 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,000 That's amazing. 302 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,000 Yeah, here's the website. 303 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,000 Your shit is worthless Mark. 304 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:34,000 My shit used to maybe be worth something. 305 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,000 I mean, what the fuck you got to do? 306 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,000 That's a lot of money just for some shit. 307 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,000 Yeah, 180G human. 308 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,000 What are you doing with this? 309 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,000 Humanmicrobes.org. 310 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,000 Well basically they take it and they clean it. 311 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:50,000 I guess they clean it and they put it up on another person's ass to give them a good 312 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000 microbiome. 313 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,000 Which I can understand, right? 314 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,000 A transplant. 315 00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:01,000 Yeah, but they want, like, they want, they want a physical video interview with you and 316 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,000 then they want to do blood tests. 317 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,000 Yeah, I mean, come on man. 318 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,000 We can't be going in there or fucking. 319 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,000 So Nio's was never paid. 320 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,000 Oh no, not at all. 321 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,000 I mean, the amount of drugs in my system. 322 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,000 What's all these tracks? 323 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:15,000 I tried to donate plasma one time and it shot dope the morning before. 324 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:20,000 And they were like, listen, you can't be here right now. 325 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,000 I'm like, why? 326 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000 They're like, you can't just. 327 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,000 Someone's gonna owe you money. 328 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,000 Yeah, you're fucking doing it. 329 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,000 You're fucking dope. 330 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,000 Here's your slogan. 331 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,000 Make money, save lives, become a stool donor. 332 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,000 Wow, man. 333 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,000 It's called 4FMT, fecal microbiota. 334 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,000 No shit, huh? 335 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,000 Transplants. 336 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,000 Okay. 337 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,000 Yeah, I mean. 338 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,000 I like it. 339 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000 I mean, it sounds like you get to wear a white robe. 340 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,000 You keep going, Kiki. 341 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000 Come on man. 342 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,000 I don't want to wear a white robe. 343 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,000 I mean, if you don't want to. 344 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,000 Do you got a shit there? 345 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,000 Do you got a shit on a plate and send it to them? 346 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000 You got a shit on a pride flag? 347 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,000 No, you should. 348 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,000 I mean, you got to get to the last table and we can all poop above you. 349 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,000 I mean, that's what it is. 350 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,000 What is an option? 351 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,000 No, yeah, you put it in a bag on ice pack. 352 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:02,000 They send you like the proper stuff, like ice packs, and then you ship it back to them. 353 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,000 I don't like Venomal. 354 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,000 I'm sure you set up a direct deposit type thing. 355 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,000 Man, it sounds pretty wild. 356 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,000 Yeah, it sure does. 357 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,000 We're seeing chicks involved in this, man. 358 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,000 We can make some fucking kids. 359 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,000 Well, I mean, honestly, I hate it. 360 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,000 It's like, we could film it then too. 361 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,000 Well, here you go. 362 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,000 Hey, pay, hey, hey, you're healthy. 363 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,000 We'll pay you 150 bucks for your stool. 364 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,000 If you pass, we keep the 350. 365 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,000 Man, you are such a creep, dude. 366 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,000 How are you going to tell it? 367 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,000 Yeah, take a shit boy. 368 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,000 You said that so confidently. 369 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,000 No, he said that perfectly. 370 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,000 Say, excuse me, pretty lady. 371 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,000 Can you shit in this thing for me? 372 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000 We'll take guys shit too. 373 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,000 $150 for a real opportunity employer. 374 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,000 I'm wearing a doctor. 375 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,000 No, he doesn't. 376 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,000 He looks like he blows kisses through a chain link. 377 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,000 She's got to pass the test though. 378 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,000 We got to make sure she's going to be accepted. 379 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,000 That's a deal, right? 380 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,000 They got to pass the test. 381 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,000 Right, right. 382 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,000 What test is it? 383 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,000 They tested blood. 384 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,000 We got to, we're the middleman. 385 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,000 We just do the interviews. 386 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,000 Imagine you get tattooed. 387 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,000 Imagine your shit gets turned down. 388 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,000 What a disappointment. 389 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,000 Your shit isn't good enough for us. 390 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,000 I'm sorry, man. 391 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000 I've really hit rock bottom. 392 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,000 We'll take your panties though. 393 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,000 Can you fuck those three times for us? 394 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,000 We'll give you ten pounds for those. 395 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:27,000 Just for our listeners, Kiki is a huge proponent of used women's underwear. 396 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,000 He's wearing a pair of face right now. 397 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,000 Yeah, he's like, he's like, bang. 398 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,000 He was born in the stink. 399 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000 Not all women, not all women. 400 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,000 Well, you know what though, that's a funny thing though. 401 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,000 We might get a pair of those besides your head. 402 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,000 You still got to sniff them though. 403 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,000 Yeah, I still got to wrap them up like Princess Leia and Twist Up. 404 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,000 Oh yeah, dude. 405 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,000 Disfact girl panties. 406 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,000 I got to twist up something. 407 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000 Your whole pH is off. 408 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,000 You can't even get a cell phone signal. 409 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,000 You got five squeeze. 410 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,000 How fast the conversation turns. 411 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000 Oh yeah, oh. 412 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,000 And fourth. 413 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,000 So who's the fucking Italian guy? 414 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,000 Italian Thor. 415 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000 Italian Thor. 416 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,000 So was it an Italian alien? 417 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,000 Okay, explain this to Kiki first. 418 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,000 Italian Thor, no. 419 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,000 It was Valiant Thor. 420 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000 Oh no, Valiant, yeah, he worked for the government. 421 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,000 Right, Italian Thor is so sorry. 422 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,000 So now, Italian Thor is his brother. 423 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,000 And he's just got like a wife, Peter. 424 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,000 I'm going to go and hand her to you. 425 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,000 I'm crazy. 426 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,000 He's balding. 427 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000 I like this guy. 428 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,000 I'm going to pound you like a field. 429 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,000 He's kind of hungry. 430 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,000 Across from Mario and Alien and Thor. 431 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,000 I don't know who told you to fucking authorize that. 432 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,000 Fuck off. 433 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,000 I'm Italian Thor. 434 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,000 I don't know who told you you could tell me, motherfucker. 435 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,000 This fucking video is so heavy. 436 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,000 Man, cocaine shit. 437 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000 Shit. 438 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,000 I'm going to change the subject, but I was thinking about 439 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,000 your guys origin story with Frenchie. 440 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000 Oh yeah. 441 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,000 Oh yeah. 442 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,000 I love Frenchie with the character. 443 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,000 I was a character, man. 444 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,000 Oh man, I remember 445 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,000 going, where the hell were we? 446 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,000 We were so piss-faced. 447 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,000 He's talking about dicks not working this and that. 448 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,000 Oh my god. 449 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,000 There was an electric fence. 450 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,000 He was like, piss on the fence. 451 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,000 I've seen the video. 452 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,000 Oh yo, that's right, there was a video. 453 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,000 And he kept saying, he was like, try to 454 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,000 shock his dick to get it to work. 455 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,000 And he kept going back. 456 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,000 Dude, the best was 457 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,000 fucking J-Bird and I went to his basement. 458 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,000 I forgot that was on video. 459 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,000 And the basement flooded and there was a pocket twat. 460 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,000 Just floating. 461 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,000 It just floated away. 462 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000 So we started calling. 463 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,000 This kid's over in the other room. 464 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,000 PT Cruiser. 465 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,000 Yeah, it's called the PT Cruiser pocket twat. 466 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000 Fucking hilarious. 467 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000 And he's like trying to get it out all faith. 468 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,000 I got sciatica from laying on the couch. 469 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,000 Motherfucker, those are bed swords. 470 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,000 Yeah. 471 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,000 He got fucking beat up at the skate park 472 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,000 for trying to sell drugs to children. 473 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000 Yeah. 474 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,000 Like bad. 475 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,000 They beat him up with the skateboard. 476 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,000 Someone's dad beat the fuck out of him. 477 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,000 About the head with the edge of a plank. 478 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,000 What the hell are you doing at the skate park 479 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,000 trying to sell drugs to? 480 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,000 I'm a surgeon. 481 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,000 I stopped talking to him after he did that. 482 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,000 I was done with him. 483 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,000 I was done with him. 484 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,000 The best is 485 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,000 he got arrested at the Hindu place 486 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,000 where he down the street from you guys 487 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,000 crashed. He tried to rob it. 488 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,000 The Hindu temple. 489 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,000 That's right. 490 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,000 The little kid over fucking came in. 491 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,000 There was a sleepover. 492 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000 New Year's sleepover. 493 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,000 And the little kid stopped doing him. 494 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,000 And they held him for the top. 495 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,000 The one day he picked the other one. 496 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000 The five little kids filed on him. 497 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,000 He's like a huge festival. 498 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,000 Yeah. 499 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,000 He's like a Vishnu. 500 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,000 Everybody saw him. 501 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,000 Not only did he get busted, but little kids 502 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,000 fucking held him. 503 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,000 He's trying to steal the donation. 504 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,000 Could you imagine how fun that was for those kids? 505 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,000 They're still telling that story. 506 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,000 Oh fuck. Yeah. 507 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000 They were like, I wonder what happened to that guy. 508 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000 He's fucking dead. 509 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,000 Yeah. 510 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,000 I'm sure that's what they're predicting. 511 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,000 You knew that. 512 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,000 I set him up with this chick 513 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,000 Christine wants. 514 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,000 They go out on a date and she fucking 515 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,000 texts me. 516 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,000 Does this motherfucker have teeth? 517 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,000 Which he didn't. 518 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000 Coming from a guy who has no teeth. 519 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,000 I mean the fucking irony. Jesus Christ. 520 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,000 They can cut it with a teeth. 521 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,000 She didn't know. 522 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000 It's funny. 523 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000 Mikey and I lived together. 524 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000 The ones I have a friend kept asking for it. 525 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,000 Mikey had his skis. 526 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000 Who do you remember that? 527 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,000 For friendship, he had skis and he was so pissed off. 528 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,000 I said, give me my damn skis. 529 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,000 And they were like, oh, you want your fucking skis? 530 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000 Fucking, we put a tow rope onto his truck 531 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000 and Mikey put his skis on the road 532 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,000 and we videotaped Mikey with spark shoes. 533 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,000 I've seen that. 534 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,000 He had a huge rooster tail. 535 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,000 He had his head on the door. 536 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,000 We tried to pull the path out. 537 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,000 I've seen the rooster tail of a spark. 538 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,000 He had the video. 539 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,000 Yeah, he was so pissed. 540 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,000 Fuck your cows, man. 541 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,000 I was getting dragged down the street. 542 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,000 Jesus, man. 543 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,000 The best of skis are ruined. 544 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,000 I mean, Larry, let me tell you. 545 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,000 Maybe a whack could wax him. 546 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,000 Yeah, you could only hit a lady with him. 547 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,000 That's the only thing you could do. 548 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000 You may have to peel the asphalt out of him. 549 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,000 No, that's a domestic bike. 550 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000 Good old Medina. 551 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,000 Man, there was fucking cowboy rules back then. 552 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,000 Fucking Noxu, baby. 553 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,000 That's hilarious, man. 554 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,000 When you moved into this place, 555 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000 on the fridge, there was a little Asian girl 556 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,000 picture of an Asian girl. 557 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,000 No, no, no, it was on the fridge. 558 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,000 So this guy, Lou, 559 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,000 a guy had to be 60, 70 years old. 560 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,000 I had to guarantee Mel order bright. 561 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,000 She was younger. 562 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,000 He had a younger kid. 563 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000 We had to go to his house to sign the lease 564 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,000 and all the stuff. 565 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000 The printing paper. 566 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000 I took a little picture of his daughter. 567 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,000 She was on the fridge. 568 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,000 We named her Little Noxu. 569 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,000 Oh, man. 570 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000 You guys should be in jail. 571 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,000 I mean, it was just like... 572 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,000 There was one of those like an 80's shot. 573 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,000 Hey, Kiki, can we eat some 574 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,000 mushroom maries? 575 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,000 Noxu's as-a. 576 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,000 They understand a couple things. 577 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000 Cook, clean, back into the closet. 578 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,000 Man, you can't come into the closet. 579 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,000 And I guarantee you this is how this guy was. 580 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,000 He was an odd dude. 581 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,000 He was a midian. 582 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,000 He rented to us. 583 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,000 We grew shit. 584 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,000 We grew shit out of weed in his basement. 585 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000 Yeah, it was hilarious. 586 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000 I remember one time I went to Frenchie's house 587 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,000 with my dad and he's showing him around. 588 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000 He's like, come on down to the basement. 589 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,000 And the whole basement is just filled with weed. 590 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,000 And my dad's like, wow! 591 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,000 Holy fuck. 592 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000 And it was way before it was legal. 593 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000 And he's like, what about your kids? 594 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000 He's like, oh yeah, they helped me water. 595 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,000 Fuck, dude. 596 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000 I'll tell you what though. 597 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,000 California, North Cal. 598 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,000 This was 20 years ago when I was in North Cal. 599 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,000 And I remember going up to Willets and all this stuff. 600 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,000 And the one guy we went 601 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,000 went with Beaver. 602 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000 Oh yeah. 603 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,000 All the way up north. 604 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,000 Well, this is Willets. 605 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,000 It's past fucking 606 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,000 Marino. 607 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,000 I've never been far north up in California. 608 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,000 Yeah, it's in the backwoods there. 609 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,000 They pick, 610 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000 they vote on the DA 611 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000 and the sheriff if they're pro weed or not. 612 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,000 Oh yeah, yeah. 613 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,000 That's the whole fucking 614 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,000 basis of their vote. 615 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,000 The town is in out of the city. 616 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,000 You can go to a small Monpo place in there. 617 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,000 And all of a sudden, 618 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,000 just for like, they have waters and little bullshit. 619 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,000 But then all of a sudden, the middle of the store, 620 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,000 they have a big... 621 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,000 They have a big table. 622 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000 And this is back in like 2003 maybe. 623 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,000 It's a massive table of just packets 624 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,000 of turkey bags. 625 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,000 The little boxes you get grocery store. 626 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,000 I mean, they have hundreds of them. 627 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000 So you know what's going on up there. 628 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,000 But I remember we got caught and we were going up to meet them. 629 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,000 Mendocino, that's what I was trying to think of. 630 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000 Mendocino, man. 631 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,000 That's what you remind me. 632 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000 The guy calls up, all right, meet me at this place. 633 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,000 We finally got up there like 8 o'clock at night. 634 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,000 He pulls up in this truck. 635 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,000 He's got a tarp over the back. 636 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,000 But he's got like plants sticking 637 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,000 out of this guy's car. 638 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,000 He's got to put a red thing out of his stick. 639 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,000 Seriously. 640 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000 This is like the local... 641 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000 Like it's Albert's or some of the vans out there. 642 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,000 Yeah, we're in the stores. 643 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,000 And we look at each other like, 644 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,000 this is how it is up here. 645 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,000 We go back to his house. 646 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,000 His kids are sitting there trimming all the weed. 647 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,000 His friends come over. 648 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,000 I mean, that's just the lifestyle. 649 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,000 You look over at the neighbor's house. 650 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,000 They have plants lined up on the side of the house 651 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,000 and they figure out what to do. 652 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000 That's the industry. 653 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000 The whole town is like a giant fucking weed pack. 654 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,000 A lot of cartels run that shit now. 655 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,000 Weeds getting cheaper. 656 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,000 The problem is, I don't understand how 657 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,000 they're building all these dispensaries. 658 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000 Well, here's the thing, man. 659 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,000 There's a brand new one that went to the putt golf. 660 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,000 Remember we used to play putt golf over there? 661 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,000 Yeah, on Lake Street. 662 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,000 How the fuck do you... 663 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,000 How are they making this much money? 664 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,000 The weed today, it gets you real high, 665 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,000 and you got them fucked up, man. 666 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,000 Some GMO shit. 667 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,000 I got some ancient seeds in it. 668 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,000 The weed has always been GMO. 669 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,000 Yeah, I got some seeds from the 90s. 670 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,000 From what? 671 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000 From my friend Mark. 672 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000 Well, you'd have to tissue culture them now. 673 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 They won't sprout. 674 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,000 You have to germinate them through tissue culture. 675 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,000 Yeah, definitely. 676 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,000 They'll still be with your old plant. 677 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,000 Oh, yeah, no, it'll still be the original. 678 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,000 Nine GMO shit. 679 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,000 The old school. 680 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,000 The land race. 681 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,000 The Mexican fucking... 682 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,000 The land race strains. 683 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,000 Yeah, landrists fucking shit like that. 684 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,000 Old school AK-47. 685 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,000 Remember that shit, man? 686 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,000 The times when we... 687 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,000 We went to old school. 688 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,000 We went to old school. Don't even go together in my world. 689 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,000 We went to Amsterdam. 690 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000 And I literally snuck the seeds back in click pens. 691 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000 With the... 692 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,000 Yeah, I want pencils and shit. 693 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,000 Shit like that, man. 694 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,000 Oh, yeah, when I went back in 95... 695 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,000 Well, when back with Curtis. 696 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,000 I dressed real nice. 697 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,000 I remember... I was in that... 698 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,000 I dressed in a suit when I went there. 699 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,000 My passport picture, when I went to take my passport picture, I was all fucked up. 700 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,000 Yeah, imagine that. 701 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,000 So I get to Amsterdam to stamp my passport. 702 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,000 He's like, you coming or going? 703 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000 Yeah, man, I'm not even here. 704 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,000 He laughed at the picture, stamp 11. 705 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,000 But then, yeah, my buddy brought hashback and shampoo bottles. 706 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,000 And I, you know, I dressed real nice 707 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,000 because we actually find stamp by United. 708 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,000 And I had just button-up shirt. 709 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,000 And I unstitched the bottom hem of the shirt 710 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000 and like stitched in the seeds into the hem. 711 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,000 Wow. 712 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,000 But that's what I brought back. 713 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,000 I mean, yeah, you probably should have done some heroin or something. 714 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,000 Yeah, I mean, if you're going to go to prison, go for a long time. 715 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,000 I mean, this guy... 716 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,000 He probably tried to put a fucking suit case. 717 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,000 This fucking idiot, you should have brought heroin. 718 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,000 He's like, hey, can I put this toot in check? 719 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,000 Dude, this is vagina sticking out. 720 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,000 Yeah. 721 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,000 Don't mind it, don't mind it. 722 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,000 The one time I went to Vancouver, 723 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,000 I got seeds and I was bringing them back. 724 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000 I even brought weed back, too. 725 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,000 Well, no, I went through security and I had my shit crouched. 726 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,000 They really fuck where you going. 727 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,000 Yeah, I can't even fucking around. 728 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,000 But then, so I was coming, I went through security, 729 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,000 I'm like, oh, cool, I'm safe. 730 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,000 Took it out of my crotch, put it in my pockets. 731 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,000 We go to board the plane. 732 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,000 There's two female security guards checking everybody 733 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,000 right before you get into the plane. 734 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,000 And it was like too late to do anything. 735 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:53,000 I was luckily, I didn't give a fuck back down, I know fear. 736 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,000 And I put my bags down and as I did, 737 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,000 my buddy was talking to the one. 738 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,000 I dug in my pocket as my back was turd. 739 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,000 Dug in my pocket, grabbed it, shoved it down my pants, 740 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,000 and it turned around to her. 741 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,000 I just kept her busy. 742 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,000 She checked my pockets, empty her pockets, didn't find anything. 743 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,000 Fucking Kansas City shuffle, man. 744 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,000 Classic Kansas City shuffle. 745 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,000 Well, Mark fucking did a switcheroo. 746 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,000 Oh, man. 747 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,000 But John, coming back with Jamaica, 748 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,000 Mark should be, uh... 749 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,000 Oh, I baffled him. 750 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,000 Tell him. 751 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000 This fucking guy, the storyteller. 752 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,000 I baffled him. 753 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,000 We had a... 754 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,000 Come back from Jamaica, it's a Saturday morning flight. 755 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,000 And we landed, we got to go with the customs. 756 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,000 And they gave you the customs card to fill out on the plane, 757 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000 you know, as you were in there. 758 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,000 And so we turned on our customs card with RD 759 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,000 and the guy gets my card, 760 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,000 writing red letters right on top of my car, P-A-T. 761 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,000 Pat. 762 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,000 And I got my card out. 763 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,000 That ass, too. 764 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000 It's not written on John's card. 765 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,000 It's not written on looking at other people's cards, 766 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,000 because everybody's just kind of like, 767 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,000 I'm a character, and no one's got this book. 768 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,000 Yeah, it sounds like Don Vito, too. 769 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000 It's something like John, man. 770 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,000 Look, you know, switch cards, you know? 771 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,000 Switch cards. 772 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,000 That's what your friend wants. 773 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,000 Switch cards, yeah. 774 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,000 And, uh, he... 775 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,000 And the Levato, come on. 776 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,000 And, yeah, I had a drug joint. 777 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,000 How much? 778 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,000 I was just going to find you making weed. 779 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,000 Oh, but you're buddy, switch buddy. That's a good friend. 780 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,000 Yeah, well, he didn't know I had the weed. 781 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,000 So he got his ass fingered and got his little gun. 782 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,000 Yeah, he got totally searched. 783 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,000 Okay, a mountain of junk. 784 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,000 He was fucking pissed at you, man. 785 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,000 Well, he saved your ass, though. 786 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,000 Yes, yes, yes. It was good. I gave it a pie. 787 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,000 Well, did you kiss after? 788 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,000 And what were you, what year was this? 789 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,000 It was Jamaica years ago, uh, 80s, 90s, you know, 90s. 790 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,000 Yeah, I got in trouble a lot of times with the band. 791 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000 But it was a good thing I ran through enough to switch the passes, you know. 792 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,000 Going through customs and they put a little... 793 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:51,000 I didn't notice the first time they put a little yellow sticker on the back of my passport. 794 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,000 And it was just a little thing. 795 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,000 And I didn't notice it. 796 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,000 And every time I go through, I got fucked with it. 797 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,000 And I'm like, it's just... 798 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,000 I took the sticker off and I was like, sure enough, 799 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:05,000 that was like, they marked me and I didn't even know what they don't tell you. 800 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,000 No, no, no. Do they really need to mark you later? 801 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,000 But dude, man, I mean, come on. 802 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,000 I got drugs on them. 803 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,000 I mean, even if a cop pulls them over down the street from here, 804 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,000 this guy's got something on him. 805 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,000 Or he's the kind of guy that's like, all the drugs are in me. 806 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,000 Yeah. 807 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,000 I mean, drugs, I didn't know they were all in me. 808 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,000 I've gotten lucky too many damn times. 809 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,000 I remember I flew to Malaysia. 810 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,000 And I bought a ticket. 811 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,000 I brought like 7 grams of hash with me. 812 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,000 Because whenever I travel like internet, 813 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,000 well, because it doesn't stink and you can chase the dragon. 814 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,000 So I come to, well, go to Malaysia. 815 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,000 And I remember getting off to play. 816 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,000 I mean, this is, you know, 817 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,000 2000 or 1999 or something. 818 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,000 Yeah, when your boss was calling. 819 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,000 Yeah, I ditched you. 820 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,000 I disappeared for a couple months. 821 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,000 Well, no, I get off the plane, you know, 822 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,000 walking in the tarmac and then walk inside the airport. 823 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,000 And it's a wall. The first thing you see when you get to the airport, 824 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,000 the wall had to be like 825 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,000 15 feet tall by about 30 feet wide. 826 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,000 And it said, in our prisons, 827 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:03,000 we don't have any drug traffickers because we execute them all. 828 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,000 Oh my gosh. 829 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,000 Yeah. And I'm like, okay, I got 7 grams of hash in my f**k. 830 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,000 You're like, look at my asshole. 831 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,000 And then, you know, everybody there is Muslim 832 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,000 and dark skin. 833 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,000 So I'm like blonde hair and blue eyes. 834 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,000 Everybody's looking at me. I'm like, oh man. 835 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,000 I went right to the bathroom. 836 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000 I ate like a half of it and I flushed the other half. 837 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,000 Good move. 838 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,000 Let me tell you something. 839 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,000 My friend, he was Chinese and he would go back and forth. 840 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,000 He said they would do heroin and stuff. 841 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,000 If you wipe your hands and there's residue 842 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,000 and they see it in the airport with the thing, 843 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,000 they'll execute you. 844 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,000 Yeah, just like your bags. 845 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,000 Not even having drugs. 846 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,000 You did the drugs. 847 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,000 Yeah, they don't mess around. 848 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,000 Hey, so I would like to welcome our Polish friend. 849 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,000 Last name, Ski. 850 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,000 Did you know what the Pollacks did once? 851 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,000 They built a racket to the sun. 852 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,000 You're f**king genius. 853 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,000 They built a screen door on a submarine. 854 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000 Yeah. 855 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,000 Dude, I grew up with so many Polish jokes. 856 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,000 I love it. 857 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,000 I got a foreign pollock out of a tree. 858 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,000 You hear about the Pollack terrorists? 859 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,000 You hear about the Pollack terrorists? 860 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,000 They blew up a car. 861 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,000 Burn his lips in the jail pipe. 862 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,000 Yeah. 863 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,000 Classic dude. 864 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,000 Thanks, Mark. 865 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,000 You grew up in Chicago. 866 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,000 No, but that's just funny though. 867 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,000 You know what I mean? 868 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,000 I was talking to a fan 869 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,000 across the country. 870 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,000 A friend of the show. 871 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,000 We shot him out. 872 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,000 Russ? 873 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,000 Yeah, it was Russ. 874 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,000 He said it's so... 875 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,000 like when Mark and 876 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,000 Needles are like, this f**king guy. 877 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,000 This f**king guy. 878 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,000 He's like, man, you guys are from Chicago. 879 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,000 It's so hard. 880 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,000 It's so f**king fun to listen to. 881 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,000 This guy's from Nodtown. 882 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,000 That's the best part of Chicago. 883 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,000 I don't know. 884 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,000 We live in West Side. 885 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,000 Chicago's sober, we just do heroin. 886 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,000 West Side to Nodtown. 887 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,000 Hanging out in the garage. 888 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,000 Man, I got this crazy story, man. 889 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,000 I thought you said a crazy hemorrhoid or something. 890 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,000 I did have a hemorrhoid. 891 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,000 I got this crazy infection. 892 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,000 What my cousin does. 893 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,000 This guy I know. 894 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,000 My friend told me to ask you. 895 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,000 You're a doctor. 896 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,000 It's not me. 897 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,000 I'm bad at your dick is green. 898 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,000 I've never had VD. 899 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,000 I never have. 900 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,000 I've had the clapp. 901 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,000 I've never had the clapp about. 902 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000 You only got bad though, man. 903 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,000 I had a girlfriend. 904 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000 I don't have a minor name, but we've passed VD back and forth. 905 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,000 Well, you have GZ. 906 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,000 No, not at all. 907 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,000 You got the VD. 908 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,000 The team now is like these young kids. 909 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,000 Even if they get the clapp or the gonorrhea, 910 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,000 they don't have to get the old swab down the f**king... 911 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,000 Oh my god, dude. 912 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,000 I had to get that recently, man. 913 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,000 Even with the hospital. 914 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000 I cringe every time I think about it, dude. 915 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,000 I had the catheter. 916 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,000 I remember... 917 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,000 clicking the button all night long. 918 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,000 Just take this damn thing out. 919 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,000 I can't sleep. Just take the damn thing out. 920 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,000 Anytime you move or whatever, it just... 921 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,000 Oh, thank god I never had to have that. 922 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,000 And then finally she's like, okay, I can take it out. 923 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,000 And I remember she's like, I'm gonna do it. 924 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,000 She just rips it out. 925 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,000 And then it's gonna be a few inches long. 926 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,000 Dude, this thing f**king... 927 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,000 Well, it's gotta get your bladder. 928 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,000 Yeah, it's like two feet long. 929 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,000 And then the next three... 930 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,000 like two days pissing, it just burned. 931 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000 It's just f**king finally getting in there. 932 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000 It's wounded. 933 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,000 It's like, raw dog in a hole. 934 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,000 Stick up your dick, it's gotta be... 935 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,000 Yeah, and the f**ker's going... 936 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,000 It's a quarter inch too. 937 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,000 It's like, you're not even gonna stick your finger in my dick. 938 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,000 This guy's like a thumb in a bush. 939 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,000 Oh, stop me. 940 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:55,000 I just got back from a tour and sh**t, and all the doctors 941 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000 said to me, you know, they want to hear about 942 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,000 all the orgies and wild things. 943 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,000 Yeah, and the doctors said this? 944 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,000 Yeah, so how'd you get it? 945 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,000 Because they knew I'd go in there with the long hair, 946 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,000 I got some infection, my cock, and I... 947 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,000 Jesus, weren't you married at this time? 948 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,000 Yeah. 949 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,000 Mary was right there when there was a slurring thing on my dick. 950 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,000 Oh my god. 951 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,000 I'm like, oh my god, and she's like... 952 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,000 I don't think I want to be here for this part. 953 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,000 And she walked out of the room, and that's when the doctors 954 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,000 started telling me how'd you get this right. 955 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,000 Yeah, right? 956 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,000 Dude, you brought this from Germany or where? 957 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,000 No, it was just... 958 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000 I was making a Shia video? 959 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,000 No, no. 960 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,000 We were doing around the United States. 961 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000 It was a couple of November's. 962 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,000 When they quarantined you, it's f**king fool, man. 963 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,000 You're just out there f**king... 964 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,000 Who knows what you're doing, man. 965 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,000 One time I got the crabs, so bad, at Christmas. 966 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,000 That stuff still around? 967 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,000 The crabs? 968 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,000 He ate them. 969 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,000 Bad, dude, bad. 970 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,000 I didn't know what was going on. 971 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,000 I just thought it was too much f**king, you know. 972 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,000 It was who a girl, because we were f**king... 973 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,000 And I had just itching like crazy, dude. 974 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,000 Crazy, crazy. 975 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,000 It was bad, really bad. 976 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,000 And then finally, I went over to her house on Christmas, 977 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,000 and her parents up in Wisconsin... 978 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,000 Jesus, this story checks out. 979 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,000 Christmas f**king morning. 980 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,000 Christmas f**king morning. 981 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,000 Christmas. 982 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,000 I look and I see, and I actually take a look, 983 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000 and what's wrong with me, and I... 984 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,000 They're literally crabs, dude, and they look like crabs, man. 985 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,000 They've been feeding for a while. 986 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,000 Yeah, these are big f**king 2-year-olds. 987 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,000 I don't think you can tell. They're crabs. 988 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,000 Clusters, clusters of them. 989 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,000 Giant f**king clusters of them. 990 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,000 And I'm like, what the f**k, bitch? 991 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,000 What's happening? What is going on? 992 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,000 I'm like, John, here. What the f**k is Christmas day? 993 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,000 She didn't notice anything? 994 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,000 She didn't notice anything? Yeah, she was saying nothing about it, though. 995 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000 I'm like, oh my god, what the f**k is this? 996 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,000 Ben, you don't get to tell me you got crabs. 997 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,000 I heard you were eating that shit. 998 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,000 How could you f**king not? 999 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,000 This was the girl that looked like Lucy from Trailer Park. 1000 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,000 Oh, man. 1001 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,000 Yeah, she was fine, yeah. 1002 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,000 I like Trailer Park. 1003 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,000 That's a say, I hope you were eating that. 1004 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,000 So, tell them what you did after that. 1005 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,000 Hopefully you shaved your f**king computer. 1006 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,000 No, I didn't do anything for them. 1007 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,000 Did you say we're getting the f**k out of here and you didn't save for Christmas? 1008 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,000 Yeah, so you left the crabs at the house. 1009 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,000 Yeah, I remember. 1010 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,000 He left them at the bed. 1011 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,000 That's where Grandma's sleeping. 1012 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,000 I'm waiting on this. 1013 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,000 This kid's a piece out of crabs. 1014 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,000 We got real drunk the night before their father, too. 1015 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,000 He's had a horrible hangover. 1016 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,000 We were in this little tiny Milwaukee house. 1017 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,000 Went to her grandmother's in Milwaukee. 1018 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,000 We were in the little tiny houses, 1019 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,000 a little tiny one-room house in Milwaukee. 1020 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,000 It was a movie fan-starting. 1021 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,000 And the whole family's there. 1022 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,000 90 people jammed in this little f**king room. 1023 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,000 Oh, man. 1024 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,000 And she's making this ham and in the ride-doh thing. 1025 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,000 Did you bring the chicken to the house? 1026 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,000 Yeah, it was her parents. It was her family. 1027 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,000 So all these people were in the house and you were banging this chicken? 1028 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,000 No, no, no, no. 1029 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,000 We had the crabs. 1030 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,000 I was scratching his balls all day. 1031 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,000 I got to be a bit worse. 1032 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,000 I was hot and sweaty. 1033 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,000 I was banging her in the house. 1034 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,000 No, no, no. 1035 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,000 He's had crabs for like two weeks now. 1036 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,000 These women are always got a male past. 1037 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,000 They were clusters. 1038 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,000 Yeah, they were doing clusters. 1039 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,000 Yeah, crab clusters. 1040 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,000 They're having a Christmas party too. 1041 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,000 They have to throw them three up. 1042 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,000 Oh, Jesus. 1043 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,000 It was hot in there and I'm thinking about the sh** going on my crotch. 1044 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,000 And I'm so hungover and the heat. 1045 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,000 And finally, I just couldn't take any longer. 1046 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,000 Where'd you go? 1047 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,000 I told her, we got to go to another hotel. 1048 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,000 Imagine the emergency room you go to. 1049 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,000 I got to go. 1050 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,000 I got to go to the emergency room. 1051 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,000 They're like crabs. 1052 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,000 Where are they? 1053 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,000 I drove all my driving home from Wisconsin. 1054 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,000 Mary's the only f**king way. 1055 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,000 I was driving to Wisconsin. 1056 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000 Wait a second. 1057 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,000 You drove home with the crabs. 1058 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,000 Did you get crabs at your house? 1059 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,000 No, what do you mean? 1060 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,000 You had the crab from his girlfriend. 1061 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,000 Yeah, he brought them home. 1062 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,000 We brought them to the restaurant. 1063 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,000 They were driving from Wisconsin. 1064 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,000 They were in a sweet f**king ride, man. 1065 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,000 I'm driving to the AM radio. 1066 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,000 So what are you doing? Like shampoo or something? 1067 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,000 Yeah, there's just stuff you get in the drug store. 1068 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,000 Like lice. There's lice shampoo. 1069 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,000 Oh, so you can just go to the drug store and get them up to a doctor first. 1070 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,000 No, no. 1071 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,000 How do you do it like five times? 1072 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,000 Five times. 1073 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,000 See, the crabs, I think, were like an 80s thing. 1074 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,000 Yeah, well, Pupicare. 1075 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,000 That's what they had at Pupicare. 1076 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,000 Filthy. 1077 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,000 Yeah, I mean white trash. 1078 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,000 We had a basement. 1079 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,000 There's a code right there. 1080 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,000 We had a basement. 1081 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,000 We slept in a magic basement. 1082 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,000 You're like, you didn't get ringworm also. 1083 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,000 Right. 1084 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,000 Yeah, I didn't get ringworm, actually. 1085 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,000 Just in Jerry and everything. 1086 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,000 I mean, he's living in the Middle Ages. 1087 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,000 I didn't know if this girl ate. 1088 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,000 I was cooking in Russia. 1089 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,000 I would go to work and eat food there. 1090 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,000 I'd never bought her food. 1091 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,000 I don't know. 1092 00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,000 I don't know how she ate. 1093 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,000 I don't know where she ate. I don't know what she did for food. 1094 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,000 She was just there to eat. 1095 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,000 She was eating those crabs. 1096 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,000 I mean, you're sitting there doing drugs with her all night. 1097 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,000 We had so much fucking coke. 1098 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,000 Yeah, if you don't eat too much when you're doing it. 1099 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,000 Hey, do you ever hear the expression, 1100 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,000 your balls are really going to be in a sling? 1101 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1102 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,000 Tell them about when your balls are in a sling. 1103 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,000 That was a different time. 1104 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,000 Yeah, they swelled up with something. 1105 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,000 The bitch gave me something. 1106 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,000 It was something, man. 1107 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,000 Were you nuts? 1108 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,000 Yeah. 1109 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,000 I had a breath of the bandana. 1110 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,000 You see him, Larry? 1111 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,000 I had a breath of the bandana. 1112 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,000 I had a time up in there. 1113 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,000 And then hold them, say, in the bandana and walk around. 1114 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,000 You had your nuts in the bandana? 1115 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,000 Yeah. 1116 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,000 They swirled up so fucking bad, man. 1117 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,000 They swirled up so fucking bad, man. 1118 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,000 Oh, man, that's gotta be the worst thing. 1119 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,000 I go to the bar when he ate. 1120 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,000 He goes, my balls are actually in a sling. 1121 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,000 You get to wear an XXL sweatshirt. 1122 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,000 Put it on your feet. 1123 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,000 It's like, back to home, man. 1124 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,000 This fucking guy. 1125 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,000 He's personally an 80s rapper. 1126 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,000 He's the height of this fucking bandana. 1127 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,000 So what the hell did you have to do with that? 1128 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,000 I found some stuff. 1129 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,000 We used to do stuff. 1130 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,000 I found some stuff. 1131 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,000 I put on my balls and it went down. 1132 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,000 Holy shit. 1133 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,000 I mean, this sounds like the most fucking thing I've ever done. 1134 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,000 I mean, this sounds like the most 1135 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,000 far-fetched story I've ever done. 1136 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,000 My balls swirled up. 1137 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,000 I found something. 1138 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,000 He came in and he was like, 1139 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,000 is this the same girl? 1140 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,000 Yeah, same girl. 1141 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,000 Oh my god. 1142 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,000 She's a fucking fursher. 1143 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,000 You come with me, shit my head. 1144 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,000 Man, you always have a big dick, dude. 1145 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,000 That shit's fucking, I was like, holy shit. 1146 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,000 It's hot, dude. 1147 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,000 It just gets hemmed up every time I put it in here. 1148 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,000 It's because they're fucking everybody else. 1149 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,000 Bro, you got a new fucking video every week. 1150 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,000 That's why she doesn't eat anything. 1151 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,000 She's baking bread, shit, crabs. 1152 00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,000 Hopefully it doesn't have sickle, though. 1153 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:03,000 Yeah, Joey had a big ball swollen, too, man. 1154 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,000 A few times. 1155 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,000 A few times. 1156 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,000 Do you bubble? 1157 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,000 One time with the one time you were sticking. 1158 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,000 My favorite joke of the night. 1159 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,000 The stick of my dick, that was one time. 1160 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,000 The one time when they were sticking. 1161 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,000 My right nut was about as big as my fist. 1162 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,000 One time my dick swolled up so big 1163 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,000 it was bigger than that Tito's bottle. 1164 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,000 Jesus. 1165 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,000 It was not that Tito's. 1166 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,000 Not even hard, man. 1167 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,000 I was like, holy fuck, man. 1168 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,000 And I was getting scared. 1169 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,000 It was at their motorcycle. 1170 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,000 The doctor was like, you'd be surprised, you know, 1171 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,000 what the body could do. 1172 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:41,000 Fell to swell up to me. 1173 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,000 You'd be surprised on how much drugs 1174 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,000 you can take and crush a scooter. 1175 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,000 Yeah. 1176 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,000 And not feel it until the next day 1177 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,000 when your nuts swollen like a volleyball. 1178 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,000 What's wrong with my nut? 1179 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,000 I'm not straight up. 1180 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,000 What happened last night? 1181 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,000 You go take a piss and your dick 1182 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,000 holds your ball. 1183 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,000 I was freaking out and I walked into the... 1184 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,000 I went to the hospital 1185 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,000 in fucking Malrose Park 1186 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,000 and I walked in and the ladies were 1187 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,000 behind the counter and she's like, can I help you? 1188 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,000 And I'm like, yeah, man. 1189 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,000 Whoa, whoa. 1190 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,000 The doctor will see you in the back. 1191 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,000 And I'm here for the casting couch. 1192 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,000 I got a good story with that. 1193 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,000 I used to go to Oceanside Clinic every year 1194 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,000 just to get... 1195 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,000 Well, bang it, bruh. 1196 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,000 I'm gonna get a little checkup. 1197 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,000 And it was an older woman doing the check. 1198 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,000 I mean, she was probably in her 60s, 1199 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,000 but she was good looking and I started chubbing. 1200 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,000 And she's like, oh, that's all right. 1201 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,000 It happens. 1202 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,000 You see a corner of her sundress 1203 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,000 and you can see her. 1204 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,000 You sure you don't want to check my prostate? 1205 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,000 Oh, God. 1206 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,000 Yeah. 1207 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,000 Well, 1208 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,000 another time, you know, 1209 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,000 it was like... 1210 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,000 it might have been the same time, you know, 1211 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,000 after the stick and then the doctors 1212 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,000 were gonna do an ultrasound of my balls 1213 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,000 and it was this really hot looking young 1214 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,000 black chick that slathered the slippery shit 1215 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000 and ran the thing over my nuts. 1216 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,000 Nice. 1217 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,000 This part's not bad. 1218 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,000 After getting that stick ram though, I did it. 1219 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,000 He's like, black people aren't that bad. 1220 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,000 At least this one wasn't. 1221 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,000 She was real good at slathering that shit on her. 1222 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,000 I liked it kind of. 1223 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,000 I bet you did. 1224 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,000 And I went back and I told everybody, 1225 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000 so that part wasn't so weird. 1226 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,000 Excuse me. 1227 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,000 If you slathered my one huge testicle, 1228 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,000 man, I mean... 1229 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000 I could see it on the screen, too. 1230 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,000 Like, you're inside. 1231 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,000 Yeah, yeah. 1232 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,000 It was fucking pulsating and shit, man. 1233 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,000 But the girl had no idea. 1234 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,000 I said, mind if I tell her? 1235 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,000 She's like, the doctor's gonna have to tell her. 1236 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,000 All I do is look good and slather your balls. 1237 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,000 Just keep rubbing on it. 1238 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:55,000 Do you mind if I jack off? 1239 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,000 The doctors paid way too much 1240 00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,000 to have to rub your balls. 1241 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,000 Oh, the shit... 1242 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,000 You have your phone on you? 1243 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,000 Yeah, the shit doctors have to deal with. 1244 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,000 Oh, my God. 1245 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,000 How many... 1246 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,000 How many people go into the hospital 1247 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,000 with shit stuck in their ass? 1248 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,000 All kinds of weird things you see. 1249 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,000 Probably at least once a day, right? 1250 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,000 Imagine, maybe. 1251 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,000 You hear all these weird 911 calls. 1252 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,000 I got a bottle in my ass. 1253 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,000 I slipped and fell on the bottle. 1254 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,000 That's how they always get in my ass. 1255 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,000 I slipped and fell on the first. 1256 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,000 That's a pretty precision fall, but I mean... 1257 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,000 You really fell on that thing perfectly. 1258 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,000 My colors are on the floor. 1259 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,000 How come you're still in your bath towel? 1260 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,000 Yeah, you know. Don't mind the cameras when you come in. 1261 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,000 I think there's like hot wheel cars in my ass. 1262 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,000 I slipped and fell on them. 1263 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,000 Take an eating competition. 1264 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,000 You know what I mean? 1265 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,000 Like, how many hot wheels can you fit in your ass? 1266 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,000 I don't know. You gotta check. 1267 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,000 There we go. 1268 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,000 I'll blow you in your butt. 1269 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,000 How many have you got? 1270 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,000 There's some hot wheels right on that shelf. 1271 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,000 You can grab them. 1272 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,000 You can grab them. 1273 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,000 Try it out. 1274 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,000 There are some hot wheels. 1275 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,000 There's gonna be some brown wheels. 1276 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,000 Yeah. 1277 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,000 But that's all right, though. 1278 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,000 And for smoking, let me hit that thing on... 1279 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,000 I thought you were smoking a cigarette. 1280 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,000 It's a big cigarette thing, right? 1281 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,000 Ud's Vape and... 1282 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,000 Vape and Z-Dutch. 1283 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,000 I gotta take a piss real quick. 1284 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,000 Oh, man. That's no fucking piss. 1285 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,000 That's right, though. We had a break, so he deserves it if he wants. 1286 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,000 And I'm gonna go get some more ice for that drink. 1287 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,000 Okay, that's fine, man. 1288 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,000 You can do this shit. 1289 00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,000 I can't believe how much coke I've still got. 1290 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,000 All right, that's it? 1291 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:41,000 All right, man. 1292 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,000 So I renewed that friendship. 1293 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,000 Mark's talking about friendships he rekindled. 1294 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,000 People that had a lot of cocaine and shit. 1295 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,000 That was a good friendship. 1296 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000 Fuck the one girl with the basement and the cocaine. 1297 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,000 I ran in this guy to gas station one afternoon. 1298 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,000 Me and her at the gas station. 1299 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,000 When I see the guy, I make, 1300 00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,000 hey, you know what I think? 1301 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,000 I get some fucking coke. Want to do some coke? 1302 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,000 He says, yes, sure. I walk over. 1303 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,000 Hey, man, I haven't seen you in a long time. 1304 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,000 Yeah, long time. Hey, what's up, man? 1305 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,000 Yeah, hey, did you still get coke? 1306 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,000 Oh, yeah, I did still get coke. 1307 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,000 Man, here's my number. Call me later, after six. 1308 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,000 When I'm home. 1309 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,000 See, that's great. 1310 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,000 And he was right here in Roselle on the Magillow way. 1311 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:21,000 He lived. 1312 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,000 Nice. 1313 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,000 And we go there and just pick up fucking eight balls. 1314 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,000 And I found a real fucking white fucking shit that stink. 1315 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,000 Right. Remember that shit? 1316 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,000 Oh, God. 1317 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,000 Dude, I'll tell you what, Mike's brother had coke one time. 1318 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,000 It was fucking yellow. 1319 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,000 I'm the best thing I've ever remembered. 1320 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,000 Needles brother? Yeah. Jay. 1321 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,000 I was the best shit I've ever done. 1322 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,000 I mean, it was crazy. 1323 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,000 Did you ever meet Mike's old buddy? 1324 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,000 Who the hell was it? Smith? Yeah, Smitty. 1325 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,000 Oh, is it recording? 1326 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,000 Yeah. 1327 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,000 Speaking of Smitty, 1328 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,000 I remember the name of the bar in Vista 1329 00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,000 that we were hanging out. 1330 00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,000 Yeah. 1331 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,000 We're Mikey, uh... 1332 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,000 The wheelchair. 1333 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,000 No, no, no, no. The bar name. 1334 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,000 I remember. 1335 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:09,000 Just hit me in the head. 1336 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,000 Don't tell me, man. 1337 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:13,000 I hate those things. 1338 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,000 So fucking Larry, for some reason, likes to keep empty handles 1339 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,000 of vodka around the house. 1340 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,000 Well, that is for my water pick. 1341 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,000 So when I put the water in there, 1342 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,000 it's cold and it's out of the filter. 1343 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,000 Yeah, because I'm like, 1344 00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:27,000 wait a minute, Mike, did I bring the Tito's up to the pisser? 1345 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,000 No, no, that's what that is. 1346 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,000 It's water. There's an empty handle. 1347 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,000 Well, it's not empty. 1348 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,000 It's got water. 1349 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,000 And then the other water bottle is salt water 1350 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,000 that me and Mary rinse out our mouths with. 1351 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,000 So if there's a bottle of Tito's laying around, 1352 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,000 it's not a Tito's. 1353 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,000 No, here's how you know the difference. 1354 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,000 Those big bottles have the big plastic thing on the top. 1355 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,000 Right. 1356 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,000 And when it's empty, I rip the plastic thing off. 1357 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,000 So if you open it and that's not on there, 1358 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,000 it's not vodka anymore. 1359 00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,000 Well, it's not like you guys drink, 1360 00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,000 but it's so weird that you just keep on holding the handle 1361 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:01,000 of fucking Larry. 1362 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,000 Well, no, it's just weird. I'm pissing. 1363 00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,000 I'm like, did I bring that bottle on there? 1364 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,000 I bought a fifth. 1365 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,000 Man, fucking Larry with the handle of vodka in there. 1366 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,000 Well, here's the thing, man. 1367 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,000 When I drink, you're gonna fucking 1368 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,000 get a better bang for your fucking handle. 1369 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,000 Yeah, you do. 1370 00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,000 But then you're gonna drink Tito's. 1371 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,000 It's just like if you buy more cigarettes, 1372 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,000 you're gonna smoke a lot of things. 1373 00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,000 Yeah, but I don't drink it in one night just because it's there, man. 1374 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,000 I say, me and Mary, you know, have a drink. 1375 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,000 Dude, it's great to have a while. 1376 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,000 I don't indulge, but that's the problem. 1377 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,000 And then, you know, someone comes over, they want a drink. 1378 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,000 I got it. Yeah, right? 1379 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,000 Until they drink saltwater. 1380 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,000 There's like, this Tito's sauce. 1381 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,000 Yeah, this Tito's is not great at all. 1382 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,000 I know which one is the fucking water. 1383 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,000 I mean, this is the worst Tito's I have. 1384 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,000 I'm like Larry's tooth. 1385 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:49,000 Yeah, bottle's over the house over there. 1386 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,000 This vodka's made by a different Mexican. 1387 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,000 Hey, Tito. 1388 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,000 Did we ever get into fucking 1389 00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:59,000 the Italian fucking Thor or no? 1390 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,000 Yeah. 1391 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,000 Let's start talking about him, yeah. 1392 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000 No, but I thought we did for a little bit, though. 1393 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,000 We did Italian Thor. 1394 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,000 He spreads viscity to all the cases. 1395 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,000 Take me through your lead. 1396 00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,000 I'm gonna bonge you like a veal. 1397 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,000 Don't you like a veal? 1398 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,000 He's got a meatball on his string. 1399 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,000 Yeah. 1400 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,000 He's like Wonder Woman. 1401 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,000 I'm the Italian Thor. 1402 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,000 Fucking right. 1403 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,000 Dang, sauce monkeys. 1404 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,000 Let me tell you. 1405 00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,000 Those guys are crazy. 1406 00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,000 So, Danforth, 1407 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,000 what did you watch again last night? 1408 00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,000 So, we talked about... 1409 00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,000 I can't remember now, man. 1410 00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,000 I mean, the reptilians you were talking about. 1411 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:43,000 I watched it. It was a good one, too. 1412 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,000 We were watching Ancient Aliens 1413 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,000 and they're talking about... 1414 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,000 We're watching one about abductions and I say, 1415 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,000 oh, man, I hope they have ducked me and I yell out, 1416 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,000 abduct me, Aliens and Mary. 1417 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,000 He's like, shut the fuck up. 1418 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:57,000 What are you, crazy? 1419 00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,000 I'm like, come on. 1420 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,000 You just want to get probed. 1421 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,000 That's all it is. 1422 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,000 I saw how big that ass probe was on the South Park. 1423 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,000 I'm on to try that. 1424 00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,000 I was like, shit, aliens could kidnap me 1425 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,000 if they got those Bond aliens up there. 1426 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,000 I'll start producing for them. 1427 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,000 That's the whole thing, though. 1428 00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,000 You need to dictate once they have you tied to a table 1429 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,000 what they're going to do to you. 1430 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,000 I don't even think they have to tie you down. 1431 00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,000 They can paralyze you with their mind. 1432 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,000 You can't do it. 1433 00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,000 I'm kind of a fan of things. 1434 00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,000 They will it and you can't move. 1435 00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:31,000 I did watch a show last night 1436 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:33,000 and the guy was saying that that tic-tac craft, 1437 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,000 you know what they talk about, the tic-tac? 1438 00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,000 That actually is an R. 1439 00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,000 No, that makes sense. 1440 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,000 It's one of ours, a tic-tac. 1441 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,000 Flying saucer. 1442 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,000 Anti-gravity craft. 1443 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,000 They released it in CNN. 1444 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,000 It was shot by a crazy dude. 1445 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,000 It looked like a pill or something. 1446 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,000 Yeah, like a tic-tac. 1447 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,000 They finally are starting to slowly release it. 1448 00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,000 There are fucking foes out there. 1449 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,000 But that's what it is. 1450 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,000 It's ours. 1451 00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,000 It actually was ours. 1452 00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,000 That makes sense. 1453 00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,000 I knew the coordinates of the meetup spots 1454 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:09,000 that was there. 1455 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,000 It kind of makes sense. 1456 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,000 I don't understand. 1457 00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,000 This is like third hand information. 1458 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,000 No, this is shit on CNN. 1459 00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,000 The pilot's name was Fravor. 1460 00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,000 Right. 1461 00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,000 He's done podcasts. 1462 00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,000 You see his background. 1463 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,000 You see his background. 1464 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,000 There's a lot of interceptions 1465 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,000 between planes and all this shit. 1466 00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:33,000 They just showed that one at the coordination. 1467 00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,000 They were like, whoa. 1468 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,000 Oh yeah, 24,000 miles an hour. 1469 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,000 It goes to 20,000 feet 1470 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,000 within a split second. 1471 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:43,000 Then it goes in water. 1472 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,000 There's two microwaves 1473 00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:47,000 between the coating. 1474 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,000 There's two things. 1475 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,000 They create some kind of thing 1476 00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,000 where there's no friction at all. 1477 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,000 Everything stays away. 1478 00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,000 There's no friction. 1479 00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,000 It's moving through its own bubble. 1480 00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,000 It's got its own feel. 1481 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,000 There's no friction. 1482 00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,000 It really gets in water. 1483 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,000 Put that right in front of the Enforced Butt. 1484 00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,000 There's nothing in it. 1485 00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,000 No friction. 1486 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,000 They say it's actually called the molecule. 1487 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,000 It's not on our... 1488 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,000 I think it is now. 1489 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,000 It's Element 115. 1490 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,000 Bob Lazar. 1491 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,000 He was talking about it back in the 80s. 1492 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,000 Anytime they censor 1493 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,000 or say somebody's crazy, 1494 00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,000 that's the guy to listen to. 1495 00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:31,000 It's like Alex Jones. 1496 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,000 I think it was like 20, 30 years later, 1497 00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,000 Russian scientists actually 1498 00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:37,000 created Element 115 for a split second. 1499 00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:39,000 Fucking Ruskies, man. 1500 00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,000 This was the element that powered the craft. 1501 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,000 That's what they're thinking. 1502 00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,000 It was heavier metal 1503 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:47,000 than what we have here on Earth. 1504 00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:49,000 What we can even create. 1505 00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,000 It's such a heavy metal. 1506 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,000 They think it was so heavy 1507 00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:55,000 that Slayer couldn't fuck with it. 1508 00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,000 It's like the Devil. 1509 00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,000 They've got the 1510 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,000 anti-magnetic one 1511 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,000 or the electromagnetic kind. 1512 00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,000 They got the other kind 1513 00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,000 with the microwave inside. 1514 00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,000 The other one is too with the Element one. 1515 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,000 There's three different types of propulsion. 1516 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,000 We have all this... 1517 00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:15,000 What do you mean? 1518 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,000 My hair was long. 1519 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,000 I would walk right into Fermilab 1520 00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,000 and they would think I was a scientist. 1521 00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:23,000 They think you were an experiment. 1522 00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,000 They'd be like, right this way, you finook. 1523 00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,000 You know what? 1524 00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:29,000 Your scientists have the long-awaited 1525 00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,000 all their looking shit. 1526 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,000 They blend right in. 1527 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:35,000 If you had some business call, 1528 00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,000 I would be floating around 1529 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,000 taking a little pamphlet and shit. 1530 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,000 This place is fucking freaky, man. 1531 00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,000 You remember that? 1532 00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,000 That shit was right there. 1533 00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,000 I landed here recently. 1534 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,000 It was in the last five years. 1535 00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,000 I got a laboratory. 1536 00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:53,000 You split Adams, two of them. 1537 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:56,000 What kind of weird shit 1538 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,000 did you do in Boys Town? 1539 00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,000 I did a lot of downhill. 1540 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,000 Oh, we had a lot of fun in Boys Town. 1541 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,000 It was a good time. 1542 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,000 Not you, Mark. I'm talking to Mike! 1543 00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,000 He's reminiscing now. 1544 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,000 It was a ball. 1545 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,000 I was a catcher. 1546 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,000 I remember the boys' sound. 1547 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,000 The kids were orphans. 1548 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,000 Whitey Martians. 1549 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,000 They would put a sticker on you. 1550 00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,000 With the priest? 1551 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,000 Oh 1552 00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:30,240 Andy something like that. Yeah, yeah father little handy. It's a good movie. He's had tiny hands 1553 00:51:30,240 --> 00:51:35,160 But they fire a boy and can they move? Oh, yeah, watch out for a father. Oh Andy 1554 00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:38,880 He's like the Bruce Lee of fucking chai chomo 1555 00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:45,040 Well, especially that day too, you know, he was drinking. Oh, I mean, yeah, you can't do confessional without having a couple 1556 00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:49,240 Dips off of wine. Yeah, but that's the problem though these guys getting retwined 1557 00:51:49,240 --> 00:51:54,360 I mean, we're not gonna get it. It's like the half Nelson the full Nelson the father Nelson 1558 00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,080 Father Andy 1559 00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,840 Let me show you something come in my boy 1560 00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,520 Time to do confession. Oh my god. Take your pants off 1561 00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:17,480 The priest needed a break so he told janitor to just sit in here for a minute and pretend you're me 1562 00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:24,280 So the girl goes in there and she goes I gave a boy a blow job 1563 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:30,840 Says to the altar boy real quick. What is the priest usually give her blow job? He says five bucks in a candy 1564 00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,040 Now we're telling street 1565 00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,040 I 1566 00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:42,880 It's better than Larry Stott's last time you tried to do the quote 1567 00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:47,560 Oh, fuck you man. That was a great quote. That was Martin Luther King, Jr. Bitch 1568 00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:52,800 I tried to get a guy to photo shop. You think you're smarter than him. I think with the thumbs up. Yeah 1569 00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:58,440 I'm smart 1570 00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:05,240 No, not at all. It's fucking racist do now. I'm did you hear this guy? Did you hear that racist shit? 1571 00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:12,440 You're racist man. Oh, what the fuck? Yeah, I raise it woke up to call me a racist. Yeah, I'm gonna sleep in for 20 minutes 1572 00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:18,360 I'll tell you what Mike. He's not racist. I know you ain't he used to he used to help Mexicans get across the border 1573 00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:21,320 I know man. I know he's a traffic. Oh, I know 1574 00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:23,920 They may have been in his trunk 1575 00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:26,600 Good drugs, sorry needles 1576 00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,400 Serial for all we know 1577 00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:35,880 Remember that little kid. Hey Mikey 1578 00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:40,480 The pop out to be Pablo Escobar's partner 1579 00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:49,720 Yeah, that'd be great if that was the truth man. No, but you know the prison courtship of Eddie's father little kid. Yeah, he was a 1580 00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:53,960 No, man 1581 00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:59,040 He wanted to prison. He well, that's like mass murdered allegedly. He's in prison 1582 00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:13,760 Really? No allegedly. I mean Jesus. He's just making shit up now as we go along. Let's end here like subscribe follow follow us on Apple 1583 00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:17,720 We got a new Twitter at Larry and needles. Yes 1584 00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:21,520 stickers 1585 00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:24,200 shirts combines the goodies shirts can be sleeveless to 1586 00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:27,920 Yeah, he'll cut off to our followers you guys are the bad 1587 00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:33,800 Oh, yeah, thank you very much for listening man. Thanks for downloading. Thanks for all that tell everybody else about us man 1588 00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:54,800 And we love you guys peace peace. Oh