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Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.

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Larry and Needles.

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Larry and Needles.

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Larry and Needles.

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Larry and Needles.

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Show.

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What's up with the rotation?

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Alright.

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Dude, man.

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Shit.

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That's okay.

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I'll let you guys share that.

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I'll smoke this one.

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Okay.

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Hey, welcome to the Larry and Needles show.

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I'm Larry.

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And I'm Needles.

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And I'm going to work with us today.

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Hello.

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Hello.

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Hello.

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So, definitely the three fucking stooges.

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Yes.

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So, like, follow, subscribe.

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Tell your friends.

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Tell your family.

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Email us.

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Tell me that Needles is a bitch.

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Fucking, your Nana.

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What the heck?

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Email me and tell me Needles is a bitch.

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Yeah, that's great.

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Please do that.

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For your membership.

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I hope we can get some more listeners so they can comment on our shit.

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Yeah, tell your friends the most important part.

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Tell your fucking friends that this is the most nonsensical shit I've ever heard.

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And that it's pretty cool.

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Yeah, like, follow and subscribe.

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Always remember that to fucking subscribe so that we can get better with our analytics.

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So now we were going to...

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We alluded to this in the last episode.

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We were talking about...

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We were going to talk about...

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The Ava tapes.

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Ava.

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So...

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Ava was a really cool chick.

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I liked her a lot.

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It was one of Mark's girlfriends.

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And...

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They live together.

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And she was something.

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And...

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My name is David E.

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Huge alcoholic.

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Huge alcoholic.

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How much liquor did she drink every day in for?

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Oh, I had to say but...

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Pints of...

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That skull would be all over the place.

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What a loser.

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All over the place.

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Pints everywhere.

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Oh, no shit?

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Yeah.

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Yeah?

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All over.

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Okay, how long did you live together?

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Oh, god, like four years maybe?

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Yeah.

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Okay, so...

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Yeah.

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You met her at the fucking restaurant you worked at?

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Of course.

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Yeah.

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Okay, so...

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And she worked in the banquet section and you were a server.

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Yes.

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Right?

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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So, and fourth...

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Here are Justice Mike.

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Sorry.

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I got it.

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So Larry decides to give and fourth a recorder.

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And how big was this recorder?

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Oh, the thing, yeah.

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How big was it?

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Because it was...

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Well, it was portable pocket size, you could say, but it was big.

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Yeah, I mean this thing had to be fucking huge.

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It had to be like a Walkman.

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Well, yeah, it was more pro.

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But it was like a Walkman size, right?

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Right, right, right.

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Okay, so...

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For like outdoor recording stuff.

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So, and fourth decides he's gonna tape him and Ava fighting.

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And it was basically because just for his own protection.

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So, when something happened to her, he could say to the cops, look, this bitch, I didn't do anything.

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She fucking jumped off the balcony or whatever, you know, whatever.

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And so...

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Accident would have happened.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Okay, so you guys lived together.

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Now the first tape that Larry plays for me is the Christmas Eve one.

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Well, that's the only one really.

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Yeah.

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Well, no, there's two separate ones.

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Well, yeah, there's all one.

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The other one is a separate one.

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Yeah, but you know what?

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I think those were just different.

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It was same weekend.

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Was it the same weekend?

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Yeah.

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I don't even...

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Okay, so basically, and fourth works as a server.

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He's got to work, what do you call it?

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Christmas Eve.

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Yeah, on Christmas Eve.

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And she, I don't know if we talked about this already.

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We might have talked about this, but we haven't talked about the things.

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We might have, but it was a good...

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Well, yeah.

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It was some good high action on that fucking recording.

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Okay, so what do you call it?

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So fucking and fourth starts recording her.

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And she is, I mean, a drunk...

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And she's Polish.

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She got a hardcore Polish...

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It's almost difficult to understand her sometimes.

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My darling.

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But she never sounds drunk.

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And it will know she does it.

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But she sounds fucking possessed.

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Yeah, she sounds scary.

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Yeah, but she's not slurring her words.

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She's not saying anything to...

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Yeah, it took her a while to get to slurring.

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Yeah, but this was at like 12, 30 at night.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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I thought it would take three or four days for her to slur.

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So basically three or four days of drinking.

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Yeah, but basically, so she was getting this hammered and going to work.

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The first one starts off with her getting arrested.

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The cops let her go.

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Because she spoke Polish to them.

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Yeah, because she spoke Polish.

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The cop was Polish.

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I talked to him.

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And she said, reminded of her brother.

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And drove her home.

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She says...

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And they drove her home.

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The cop says to her, are you drunk?

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And she says, of course I am drunk.

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And it's my birthday.

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And she fucking drunk.

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And then take me and then she proceeds to berate the fuck out of you.

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Oh, is she bad?

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And then she starts hitting you.

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And you're like, ow.

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Shit, ow.

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So I want to get these.

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We're going to do a special.

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We're going to play the tapes.

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And I think we'll do like...

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Commentary.

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We'll stop it.

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We'll do segments.

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15-minute shows or something.

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Like 30 minutes because it is long.

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Different voices.

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That might be where we start getting money.

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That's how we do it.

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Like our Patreon.

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You have to pay for content.

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For the Antwerp beating tapes.

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Dude, she's hitting them.

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And he's like, ow.

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And he's laughing because he knows he has the recorder on.

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Because if the recorder wasn't there,

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talk about crying in the corner.

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Because here's the thing.

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She's getting enraged and you're getting more and more calm.

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Her dad was a boxer.

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Her dad was a boxer.

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So she knew how to fight.

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Oh, yeah.

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Like she was a mean, bad bitch.

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Meerslav Khrishnikov.

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Fucking what was his name?

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Ivan Mudevich.

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Oh, shit.

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She was a big boxer.

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He got killed by the Russian mafia.

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Really?

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Yes, sir.

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Not throwing a fight.

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Oh, no shit.

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Yeah.

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Wow.

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You said I will not throw a fight.

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I will beat anybody.

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I'll die.

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You don't fuck with the Russians.

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No.

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Well, you'd back that in the CCCP.

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You don't fuck with nobody.

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Right now, if they tell you to throw a fight,

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they'll kill you.

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Oh, well, yeah.

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But it's not like it used to be to fucking...

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What's it called?

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Fucking...

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What's the secret?

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The...

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KGB?

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Yeah, you don't fuck with the KGB.

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Oh, fuck it.

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You ever seen those videos when they fucking...

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The police are like...

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What do you call it?

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In Russia, they're like busting the guy.

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You're blowing that mic.

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Yeah, are you hitting your head on the mic every time?

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No, no, no, no.

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I'm paying attention.

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I'm paying attention.

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No, no, no.

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I'm running my leg here.

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What do you call it?

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So like the cops will be arresting these dudes in Russia,

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and they'll just like...

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Flying jump kick this motherfucker from like ten feet away.

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Two boots, dude.

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Boom.

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Right in the fucking...

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They go right down.

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...in the top.

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But okay, so now get back to Ava.

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That's what Ava was doing at Handforth.

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I'm sure your dad got a flying fucking boot kick.

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So she talks about, because it's her birthday,

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that day that we talked to her.

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Of course I am drunk, she says to the cops.

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That's what she tells the cops.

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It's my...

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Yeah, yeah, it's their ass.

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Okay, so then the cops drive her home.

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And at one point you must have got food,

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because she was talking about clams.

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Yeah, yeah, she wanted big clams.

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Yeah, and you got them.

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Yeah, I think so.

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And she got mad because you only left one.

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Oh, she said she...

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Yeah, she passed out or whatever.

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I mean, I don't know what's gonna happen.

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She might die in her sleep.

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She's out for all...

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She's out for hours.

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She's out for hours, yeah.

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Damn, dude.

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So she just drink herself into...

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Yeah, and so whatever.

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Hours go by, fucking eat the clams.

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I'm sorry, man.

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That's a...

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Dude, that's exactly what he said.

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And that exact...

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Dude, that was weird hearing that.

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Well, that's a lie.

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Well, no, but it was the exact same tonage.

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You know what I mean?

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That's how it sounded on the recording.

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And then...

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00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,000
She was just as high as energy.

283
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,000
Dude, yeah.

284
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:59,000
And then she proceeds to call you stupid and an idiot.

285
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000
And then she's cheated her.

286
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000
Yeah, cheated her.

287
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000
She says, fuck me.

288
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000
Oh, is she a...

289
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

290
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,000
You want to know?

291
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,000
You want to know?

292
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,000
Wait a second, you're getting a headlayering sound.

293
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,000
Oh, no.

294
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,000
That was my favorite part.

295
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,000
Dude, don't bust your nut, dude.

296
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,000
Slow down.

297
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,000
That is what I'm saying.

298
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000
So, you want to fuck me?

299
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:20,000
So then she's just yelling at you.

300
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000
And you're like, I need to go to sleep.

301
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,000
Please come to bed.

302
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,000
I got a work in the morning.

303
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,000
Please come to bed.

304
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,000
And then, fuck it.

305
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,000
And you're like, okay, just be quiet.

306
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:32,000
Yeah, so she slams the door, starts screaming.

307
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,000
You hear her from far away screaming.

308
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,000
Yeah, she's like screaming about fucking something.

309
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,000
And then you start snoring.

310
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,000
No, no, no, no, no.

311
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,000
Yeah, and then she's saying about the beers, that the beer's gone.

312
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,000
Or whatever's gone.

313
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,000
Like, she's like, you drink all the beers or something.

314
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,000
And...

315
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,000
Where's my fucking beer?

316
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,000
Where's my fucking...

317
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,000
If I want to drink two bottles of fucking vodka, I will.

318
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,000
And that's what she says.

319
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,000
She says the most awful.

320
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,000
So, Amphor's laying in bed at this point.

321
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,000
Because this was...

322
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,000
The in-between was the fight about that she didn't believe Amphor

323
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:12,000
if he had to work on New Year's or Christmas Eve.

324
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,000
So she calls up 419...

325
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,000
This guy needs a boom operator.

326
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,000
Yeah, she's got it.

327
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,000
411, she calls for information.

328
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,000
I will call information.

329
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,000
So she calls information and you can hear her on the phone.

330
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000
Because you have to do it.

331
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,000
Amphor, it's hilarious that you fucking got the recorder in your pocket.

332
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,000
I know.

333
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,000
How could she know that?

334
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,000
She actually, she didn't know it was a microphone.

335
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,000
No, but you know what, though, Mark?

336
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,000
I listen and there must be another lost recording

337
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:43,000
because I distinctly remember a recording where she's like,

338
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,000
You are recording me.

339
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,000
And you're like, no, no.

340
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,000
I don't know if that's true.

341
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,000
I got to look through my computer.

342
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,000
The lost Amphor tape.

343
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,000
Ava just berating him.

344
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,000
She sees the microphone and she's like,

345
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,000
You are recording me.

346
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,000
You got that from Larry.

347
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,000
He's like, no, no.

348
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,000
You got that from Larry.

349
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,000
So then, yeah, yeah, she calls 411,

350
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:12,000
asks the lady if Vanuities is open on Christmas Eve.

351
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,000
The lady's like, I don't know.

352
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000
She calls up Vanuities.

353
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000
It's like, now one o'clock in the morning or something.

354
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,000
There's no one there.

355
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,000
Yeah, no one's there.

356
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,000
It had to be later than that.

357
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:26,000
So you go spend Christmas with your fucking whore.

358
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,000
And you see this girl, seeing anybody, baby.

359
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,000
She's 24 hours.

360
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,000
She's going, did you buy her a nice present?

361
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,000
Fuck that motherfucker.

362
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,000
And then all of a sudden, ow!

363
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:42,000
She just throws a right hook.

364
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,000
Yeah.

365
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,000
Ow, stop hitting me.

366
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,000
Ow!

367
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,000
He's in front of the pattern on his wife.

368
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000
She was bad.

369
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,000
She's just gonna give you some of the punching bag.

370
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,000
She was like, I don't want to break up with her.

371
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,000
I don't want to see her anymore.

372
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,000
So then the whole thing goes on with Vanuities

373
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,000
and she literally flips on a dime

374
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,000
and goes to something completely different.

375
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,000
Yeah.

376
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,000
Like, no more of a completely different fight.

377
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,000
No more about Vanuities.

378
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,000
So then now you're in the back.

379
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:18,000
She got real happy when you said to her,

380
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,000
well, you know, my mom's not happy

381
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,000
when she heard you in the background call her a bitch.

382
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:27,000
She goes, and then she goes, was she,

383
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,000
like you could tell she was happy.

384
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,000
Was she, does she not like me now?

385
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,000
And you go, well, you know,

386
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:38,000
she doesn't think you're the most wonderful person

387
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000
or whatever you said.

388
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,000
And then it's like, oh my God.

389
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:46,000
Then you go to your sisters for fucking Christmas

390
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,000
with your fucking horny girlfriend.

391
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,000
Oh, she's bottle.

392
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,000
24 hours a day with your horny girl.

393
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,000
Oh, man.

394
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,000
You're like, I've been here all day and I've worked.

395
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,000
There's prostitutes at Larry's house.

396
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,000
Remember what I said?

397
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,000
She thought Joe was a prostitute.

398
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000
She thought Larry was a prostitute.

399
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,000
There's other girls.

400
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,000
Dude, that's between boys.

401
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,000
Prostitutes at Larry's house.

402
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,000
He's married, Mark.

403
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,000
So when he's married, how could they, what do you think?

404
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:17,000
His wife is letting us just go crazy in the house.

405
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,000
I know what goes on there.

406
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,000
And then she comes over and there's nothing going on.

407
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,000
A bunch of people get fucked up.

408
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,000
Playing music, that's all it is.

409
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,000
What are these prostitutes?

410
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000
I want one.

411
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,000
Fucking share.

412
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:36,000
So then you guys are, now you're in the bedroom

413
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000
and you're telling her you want to go to bed.

414
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,000
Right?

415
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,000
And she is fucking.

416
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000
Not letting that happen.

417
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000
She's hitting you while you're laying down.

418
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,000
At one point.

419
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,000
You get, you know what to do.

420
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,000
Yeah.

421
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,000
Did you hear the recorder falling around and getting crashed around?

422
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,000
The fucking sound's crazy.

423
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,000
It's a river shot.

424
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,000
It's brutal, man.

425
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,000
Yeah, you can hear everything rustling.

426
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,000
She do all the organs when it hits you.

427
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,000
He's under the covers in the bed.

428
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,000
She wears with her dad.

429
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:07,000
He's under the covers in the bed with the recorder going.

430
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,000
And she is fucking.

431
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000
Dude, she was brutal, man.

432
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,000
She's like calling you a loser.

433
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,000
Crazy shit, dude.

434
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,000
And she's like blackout drunk.

435
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,000
You know?

436
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000
That's a shit, yeah.

437
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000
So now the scary part.

438
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,000
Well, actually, no.

439
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,000
The funny part.

440
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:28,000
The funny part is she's just arguing with you about something Christmas maybe now.

441
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,000
It might be.

442
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,000
And then she does, do you want to fuck?

443
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,000
Fuck me.

444
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,000
Yeah, fuck me.

445
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,000
That's what she has.

446
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,000
Fuck me.

447
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,000
That's what she said.

448
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,000
Why wouldn't she want to fuck me now?

449
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000
Like, all of us, about five times.

450
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,000
And then you're...

451
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,000
She hit him like 10 times.

452
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,000
He's all bad.

453
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,000
He's a badder wife.

454
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:52,000
Then there's one point where you're snoring and she's like sitting at the edge of the

455
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,000
bed muttering shit.

456
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,000
You hear her saying shit.

457
00:13:56,000 --> 00:14:02,000
I'm going to get my Polish made to fucking decipher what she's screaming at you and talking

458
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,000
about.

459
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,000
She's going, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

460
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,000
You know what I'm saying?

461
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000
Dude, she's right at you.

462
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,000
She's right at you.

463
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,000
You know what I'm saying?

464
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000
And I'm like, oh my god.

465
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,000
I'm so mad that she's speaking Polish now.

466
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,000
Dude, she's talking to you in Polish.

467
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,000
I know.

468
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,000
So I'm going to have Ivanka.

469
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,000
Ivanka's going to tell me what.

470
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000
Yeah.

471
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,000
She's going to say for this.

472
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,000
So then, yeah, so she says, you want to fuck?

473
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,000
You're like, no, I want to go to bed.

474
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,000
This and that.

475
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,000
I got to be up early for work.

476
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,000
So then you hear you rustling and you're going to bed and shit.

477
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:35,160
And then she's like muttering shit in the background and then you could hear her sit on the bed

478
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,000
and she's just like muttering to herself.

479
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,000
Like...

480
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,000
It's very scary.

481
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:44,000
And all of a sudden you start snoring.

482
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:48,000
How in the fuck can you go to sleep in?

483
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,000
When literally death is at your fucking door, man.

484
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,000
Sit on the bed.

485
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,000
Like six inches away.

486
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,000
It's dead.

487
00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:01,000
He's been giving you liver shots all day and you're just going to fall asleep next door.

488
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,000
Yeah.

489
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,000
Dude, I mean, you're a fucking...

490
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000
Dude, what a psychopath.

491
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000
Balls of iron.

492
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,000
No, what a psychopath.

493
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,000
Like, who the fuck did you think is blackout drunk?

494
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,000
Yeah.

495
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,000
Dangerous.

496
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:19,560
So then you start snoring and she keeps on muttering and then all of a sudden she either

497
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,000
hits you, she hits you once while you're sleeping.

498
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,000
She's the best.

499
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,000
She brings you out of your sleep.

500
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,000
Ugh, there's a gut shot.

501
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,000
And you're like, ah.

502
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:38,000
That is very funny.

503
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,000
Hey, why are you laughing?

504
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,000
What?

505
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:52,000
Dude, she fucking hits you once and you come out of your sleep and you're like, what the

506
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,000
fucking...

507
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,000
Yeah, yeah.

508
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,000
Can you go to bed?

509
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,000
Right, right, right.

510
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000
And she just starts a whole nother...

511
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000
Yeah, I know.

512
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,000
What's wrong with you?

513
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,000
Yeah.

514
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,000
I'm just trying to sleep, bitch.

515
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,000
Right, right.

516
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,000
She was not letting you sleep.

517
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000
I know.

518
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,000
She would not leave you alone, bitch.

519
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,000
I didn't sleep all night.

520
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000
And it is the...

521
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:15,000
I mean, listen, we don't advocate domestic violence, but if you're our friend and you're

522
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,000
in court, we're gonna fucking...

523
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:24,000
Hey, if anyone has any domestic violence tapes, they want to email us an mp3o.

524
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,000
Wait, whoa.

525
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,000
As long as nothing bad happens and nobody...

526
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,000
It has to be funny.

527
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,000
It has to be funny, exactly.

528
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:38,000
We don't want a recording of someone just beating them shit.

529
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,000
We don't want that shit at all.

530
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,000
We don't want the funny stuff.

531
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,000
Yeah, just joke with it.

532
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,000
Just if your wife says some really crazy funny shit to you or something.

533
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,000
And they just don't put the parting where you're soccer.

534
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:57,000
Yeah, I mean, just videotape the first part and we'll edit that part out.

535
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,000
And maybe we'll have a little special...

536
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,000
Contest.

537
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,000
Contest.

538
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,000
The funniest domestic...

539
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:09,000
You know, you run together the best 10 little 30-second snippets of brutality.

540
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000
Oh my God, bitch.

541
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000
Make a little...

542
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,000
So long, literally.

543
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,000
30 seconds?

544
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,000
Well, 30...

545
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,000
I would say 30 seconds max would be...

546
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,000
It could maybe be two seconds.

547
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,000
You know, sometimes family happens fast.

548
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000
We don't want that though.

549
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:28,000
But you know, if you have like a flower and a squirty flower,

550
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,000
then you squirt it out and then punch her.

551
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,000
Okay, that's funny.

552
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,000
No.

553
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:37,000
So, get him...

554
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,000
Okay, don't wake up Mark.

555
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,000
I don't wake up.

556
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000
I don't wake up.

557
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,000
I don't want to sleep under a nod like you think.

558
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,000
It wasn't.

559
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,000
I don't know how to be in a nod now, with these fucking drugs.

560
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000
What do you guys fucking do?

561
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,000
Christ on Mayday.

562
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,000
It's a nod.

563
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,000
Can we take a fucking nap?

564
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000
You need to take a nap.

565
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,000
He's on drugs.

566
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,000
Look, he can even rest.

567
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,000
He's looking at drugs.

568
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,000
So that's what it's called, now, nap time.

569
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,000
Nap time.

570
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,000
Much better.

571
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000
Fucking hilarious.

572
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:16,000
So I can't take a nap around here.

573
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,000
Yeah, I can't sleep in the middle of a podcast.

574
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,000
What the fuck, man?

575
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000
What kind of country is this?

576
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Just come here and fucking waste your time.

577
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,000
Not that I want to take a nice nap in front of a podcast.

578
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,000
You just get three times more than that.

579
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,000
Six times you've napped already.

580
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,000
I mean, we had to literally lower the mic.

581
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,000
I'm a napper.

582
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,000
The mic is like two foot off the ground right now,

583
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,000
because you have to talk into it.

584
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,000
I'm so low.

585
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,000
I'm a napper.

586
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,000
I'm a late night napper.

587
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
I'm a late night napper.

588
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,000
I take like 15, 20 minutes' bursts of sleep.

589
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,000
Just in the middle of the podcast, though,

590
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,000
you couldn't shut it off.

591
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:05,000
I mean, thanks, bro.

592
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000
That's what I do.

593
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000
That's what he's a to my mouth.

594
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,000
I'm really tired.

595
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,000
I'm really tired.

596
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,000
What the fuck?

597
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000
Nobody's that tired.

598
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,000
He's a bowl of pasta.

599
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,000
If you're that tired, you should have stayed over in the bed.

600
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,000
I was hungry.

601
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,000
I should have stayed over in the bed.

602
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000
I should have stayed over in the bed.

603
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,000
I don't like that.

604
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,000
I would have been sleeping by now.

605
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,000
I bet you would.

606
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,000
I wish it was for you guys.

607
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,000
We're such asshole.

608
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,000
Sorry.

609
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,000
Oh my God.

610
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,000
Fucking hilarious.

611
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000
It's so funny.

612
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,000
All right.

613
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000
So, at this point, fourth in the bed,

614
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,000
and Abe is already giving him a gut shot.

615
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,000
He's just working you over in this recording.

616
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:55,000
One recording is like seven minutes,

617
00:19:55,000 --> 00:20:00,000
and she must hit you like four times.

618
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,000
And the worst is, and then last four minutes of it are dead.

619
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000
She does all of it in the beginning.

620
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,000
We'll edit them out.

621
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,000
The worst is, they don't come in succession.

622
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,000
She throws one.

623
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,000
And then one time passes.

624
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,000
Right.

625
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000
And then comes another one.

626
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,000
And the best is, I can see Ann Mayer making it for Flynn.

627
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000
Oh man.

628
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,000
Here, I hear what she's saying.

629
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000
Pussy.

630
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,000
Oh, I think it'll be okay.

631
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,000
She just drinks a little bit.

632
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,000
Fuck, she's fine.

633
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,000
Yeah, okay.

634
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000
You know, come on, Bob.

635
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,000
You told yourself.

636
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,000
I didn't know I'd do it.

637
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000
I was getting myself into it.

638
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,000
But how long did you know her before you fucking started?

639
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000
Yeah, I mean, she was an alcoholic.

640
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,000
Yeah, I kind of had an idea she was.

641
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,000
I mean, she's probably drinking at work.

642
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,000
She was.

643
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:52,000
Okay, so she could mean to show her right that eyebrow is higher than the other.

644
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,000
Oh, fucking crooked face and shit.

645
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,000
She goes, she said, well, I'm not drinking.

646
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,000
We'd go to bed.

647
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,000
She goes, I'm a shot.

648
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Oh my God.

649
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,000
Oh, wait, wait, wait.

650
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,000
Ready for war?

651
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:06,000
Imagine what kind of fucking, imagine what kind of, oh, the hangover.

652
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,000
Like you got to feel like shit throughout the whole day.

653
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,000
Yeah.

654
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000
Well, I don't get it.

655
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,000
Every 15 minutes, four shots an hour.

656
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,000
Yeah, just about.

657
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,000
That's pretty, you're fucking hungry.

658
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000
Dude, that's crazy, man.

659
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,000
32 shots and eight.

660
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,000
I mean, that's fucking, oh, shit.

661
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,000
And she wasn't a big, right?

662
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,000
No, no, no, no.

663
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000
You're drinking the bottle of booze.

664
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,000
32 shots is more than a fifth of whiskey.

665
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,000
The whiskey is what?

666
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,000
I think what?

667
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,000
32, I think so.

668
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,000
I think it's 30, something like that.

669
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,000
I don't think she was a fucking little girl.

670
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,000
98 and there's, I don't mean, I don't mean like age.

671
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:44,000
She was a little girl, just tiny, which is fucking hilarious.

672
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:48,000
So, which is hilarious that she could beat you up.

673
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,000
What?

674
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,000
Oh, hilarious that she could beat me up.

675
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,000
She's working him over.

676
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,000
She really is.

677
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,000
What do you think?

678
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,000
I'm sure they taught her how to pump the bottle.

679
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:00,000
I mean, I bet she could hit hard.

680
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:04,000
Okay, so you're in the fucking, you're in bed.

681
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,000
And you are like, bagged.

682
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,000
Right, and just lay down and be quiet.

683
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,000
Yes.

684
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:14,000
Go out of the room and just verbally abuse you from across the room.

685
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,000
Start yelling down the hallway.

686
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,000
Yeah, just like screaming.

687
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,000
The craziest shit.

688
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,000
And then she talks in Polish, which, like I said, we got,

689
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,000
whatever it was, she sounded pissed.

690
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,000
Oh yeah.

691
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:30,000
Let me tell you, that was whatever she was saying, but I want to find out so bad.

692
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:35,000
Yeah, I was like, hey, would you ever fucking wonder what she said?

693
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,000
Oh, definitely.

694
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,000
She's calling you the white devil.

695
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,000
Yeah, who knows.

696
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,000
Pig and shit, like crazy stuff, man.

697
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,000
Try to help too.

698
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,000
You see your help is of people.

699
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:51,000
So then fucking, whoa, I, I, which one of the phone rings in one of them?

700
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:57,000
And she's on the phone and she's just hammered, like talking to somebody.

701
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,000
And you, fuck man.

702
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:08,000
But yeah, no, it's very silly the way that she would just say the meanest shit to you.

703
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,000
Yeah.

704
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:14,000
Like she would fucking, like she did not tell by like inner voice, she's drunk.

705
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,000
Feeling schmielings.

706
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:20,000
Well, there's some people when they get there to bed drunk.

707
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,000
They have to be fucked.

708
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,000
I'll tell you.

709
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,000
Here, grab the microphone.

710
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:29,000
Well, sit smile baby, let me.

711
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,000
So then this was like this how often?

712
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000
Oh, every time.

713
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,000
So every night you had to deal with it?

714
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
Almost every night, yeah.

715
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,000
If she was over it was every night.

716
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,000
What's that?

717
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000
If she was over it was, if she was at my house it was every night.

718
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,000
Oh, so she didn't live with you?

719
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:47,000
No, she saw the house in the heights that was getting condemned.

720
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,000
Her house was getting condemned?

721
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:54,000
Well, you know, I can't live here no more or I'm going to destroy it because somebody else was living in it.

722
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,000
Yeah, that's condemned.

723
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,000
Why, I mean, why?

724
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,000
Well, for once you're making payments on the mother for you.

725
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,000
Yeah, but they don't condemn a house because you didn't make them work, you know.

726
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,000
I don't want to.

727
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,000
They'll foreclose on it.

728
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,000
Yeah, no, somebody brought the land behind it or something, the gas station and shit.

729
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,000
They're going to change it around.

730
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,000
Yeah, they just wanted the house gone anyway.

731
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,000
No, okay, so they're going to do it by, oh, did you?

732
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,000
Yeah, they pretty much butter out, yeah.

733
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,000
Oh, okay, that's not bad.

734
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,000
So then she moves in with you.

735
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,000
She moves in with me.

736
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,000
Yeah.

737
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,000
Okay, so.

738
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,000
And then it was every night.

739
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,000
When you first, so listen man.

740
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,000
This is crazy that you fucking, so, Alon.

741
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,000
All day.

742
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000
Verbally abuse you all day long.

743
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,000
Pretty much.

744
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,000
Physically abuse you every night.

745
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Pretty much.

746
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000
Mentally abuse you.

747
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000
All the time.

748
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:49,000
It's the most insidious thing you've had in a while.

749
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:56,000
And then she would assault you in your sleep.

750
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,000
Which is the scariest part.

751
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:58,000
Too bad it's the scariest.

752
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,000
What's that?

753
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,000
I know it's on tape.

754
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,000
I know.

755
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,000
I was just talking to the kids fucking cleaning the floors over here.

756
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,000
I had another one assault me when I was sleeping too, I remember Gina.

757
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Yeah, we talked about it.

758
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,000
All your girlfriends assaulted you.

759
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,000
It's real jealous of me for some reason.

760
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,000
You're a fucking mind-taker.

761
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000
Because I'm a regular dad.

762
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,000
Brad Pitt's in here.

763
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,000
What the fuck?

764
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,000
Please.

765
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,000
Corpse or jealous.

766
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
Man, that's fucking hilarious.

767
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:29,000
All these bitches needed glasses, by the way.

768
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:33,000
What year were you dating when you were in those fucking tear-infrared?

769
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,000
Oh, I can't remember.

770
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,000
Like century was it?

771
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,000
What was Christmas and you were working at the fucking restaurant?

772
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,000
It was Christmas 1981, right?

773
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,000
So it had to be like what, 10, 15 years ago?

774
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,000
Yeah, I think so.

775
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,000
Like that 10 or 15 years ago.

776
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,000
Okay.

777
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,000
Uh, yeah.

778
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,000
Yeah.

779
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,000
That's fucking crazy.

780
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000
Wait a second.

781
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,000
You went out with David before.

782
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,000
Don't matter.

783
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,000
Don't matter at that.

784
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,000
No, it was long after.

785
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,000
Not long after, but right after.

786
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:07,000
Oh, well then it wasn't that long ago because you were joking about D.

787
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:11,000
Yeah, it's probably 10 years ago.

788
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,000
Okay, thank you very much.

789
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,000
All of that fucking...

790
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,000
Well, you were joking about D at my wedding.

791
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,000
Yes.

792
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:21,000
People asked me, man, that comedian you hired is fucking hysterical.

793
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,000
I go, it ain't a comedian.

794
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,000
That's my friend.

795
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,000
Fucking.

796
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,000
He's just talking about his life.

797
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000
He's talking about it.

798
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,000
How nice of us to be buried.

799
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:37,000
Mark had about 20 people in the round-of-the-matter circle listening to him for fucking an hour.

800
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,000
Jesus, man, what were you talking about?

801
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,000
That's it.

802
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,000
Finding...

803
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,000
Dude, Ava Sheep.

804
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:46,000
Like I found my girlfriend's fucking false teeth in my pocket.

805
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,000
Oh, man.

806
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,000
Shit like that.

807
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,000
Jeez, that's Ava had false teeth?

808
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,000
No, no, D.

809
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,000
Oh.

810
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:57,000
Ava had one of the fellas who super glued back in.

811
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,000
She was a bad bitch.

812
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,000
Yeah, she was hardcore.

813
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,000
She was a real bad bitch.

814
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,000
Yeah.

815
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,000
Fuck the dentist.

816
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:04,000
Super glue.

817
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,000
Right.

818
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,000
Super glue.

819
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,000
Just kidding.

820
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,000
Just kidding.

821
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,000
Fucking.

822
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,000
She cut out a juniper bush with a stinking knife.

823
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,000
Wait, what?

824
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Oh, this is the juniper bush.

825
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,000
Yeah, that was the juniper bush.

826
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,000
Yeah, that was the juniper bush.

827
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,000
I was speaking Chinese.

828
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,000
What happened to the juniper bush?

829
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,000
Oh, yeah.

830
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,000
She said, I take hours.

831
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,000
I take hours.

832
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,000
I take hours.

833
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,000
I take hours.

834
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,000
I take hours.

835
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,000
I take hours.

836
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,000
She said, I take hours.

837
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,000
I take hours.

838
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,000
I throw away.

839
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,000
I said, how'd you take it out?

840
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,000
With steak knife.

841
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,000
What a bad bitch.

842
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,000
She's cut the keys with steak knife.

843
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,000
You're lucky she didn't take you out with a fucking steak knife.

844
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:41,000
You're lucky to get it on the business end of a fucking blade.

845
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,000
Of a fixed blade.

846
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,000
Because let me tell you.

847
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:50,640
There are times, dude, there are fucking times in this fucking recording when things get

848
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,000
dicey for you.

849
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,000
Yeah, it would be killing.

850
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,000
What's that?

851
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,000
I mean, she was killing.

852
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,000
She was killing.

853
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,000
She's fucking.

854
00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,000
She didn't kill you.

855
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,000
She would have if you were to stay with her.

856
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,000
She was fucking.

857
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,000
Well, it was either.

858
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,000
It was a good go either way.

859
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,000
Yeah.

860
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,000
It was good.

861
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,000
You were her.

862
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,000
Right.

863
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,000
One day I was so mad.

864
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,000
I was carrying her out.

865
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,000
It was a lot of times that I'd say to them, please don't kill someone tonight.

866
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,000
You gotta calm down.

867
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,000
Right.

868
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,000
I would carry her.

869
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:21,000
I tried to carry her through the garage to her car to throw her in the car to drive her

870
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,000
home.

871
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,000
And I was wiggled free.

872
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,000
She was on my shoulder and was on the face of the garage.

873
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,000
The cement floor, you know what I mean?

874
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,000
Fell from my shoulders.

875
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,000
I go, oh my God, if it's six foot, her head open.

876
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000
Yeah, you're going to look like a murderer.

877
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,000
Dice.

878
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,000
I'm going to be the first fucking, that'll be a murderer, right?

879
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,000
A murderer.

880
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,000
Ah.

881
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,000
What was that?

882
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,000
So how many times did you hit her with the bat?

883
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,000
No, it's not.

884
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,000
I made sure there was no visible injury.

885
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,000
No marks.

886
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,000
You're looking hands on.

887
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,000
Well, dude, she's already fucking working you over.

888
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,000
I mean, you're the one.

889
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,000
The cops come in.

890
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,000
It's going to be you the outside talking to them.

891
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,000
The cops did come.

892
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,000
Oh, did they?

893
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,000
Oh, the cops came several times.

894
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,000
For what?

895
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,000
For cold?

896
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,000
For cold.

897
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,000
How it goes.

898
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,000
We're going to start taking one of you away every other time.

899
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,000
Yeah.

900
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,000
Well, it's because of her.

901
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,000
We're going to jail.

902
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,000
Next time.

903
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,000
We're going to jail.

904
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,000
Well, but the fucked up thing is, like, you're just sitting there.

905
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,000
She just starts arguing with you.

906
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,000
Yeah.

907
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000
You're just a brutal argument.

908
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,000
So the cops, sorry.

909
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,000
How about this?

910
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,000
How about you come and take her?

911
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,000
You're right.

912
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,000
The drunk one.

913
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,000
I live here.

914
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,000
Yeah, this is my fucking joint.

915
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,000
Right.

916
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,000
And she's drunk.

917
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,000
Oh, yeah.

918
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,000
And I mean, when you're talking about drunk, she's fucking hammered.

919
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,000
Right.

920
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,000
It's blackout.

921
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:37,000
Yeah, you saw there's no respect for the law with her.

922
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,000
No, I mean, she's like, I'm drunk.

923
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,000
It's my birthday.

924
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,000
Yeah.

925
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,000
Of course I am.

926
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000
She doesn't know not to say that.

927
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,000
No, she's just fucking don't care.

928
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,000
She's pulling fucking over.

929
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,000
Bad bitch, dude.

930
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Yeah.

931
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,000
So then she's awesome.

932
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,000
Well, she was awesome.

933
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,000
Yeah.

934
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,000
She was awesome.

935
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,000
She was awesome.

936
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,000
R.I.P.A.

937
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,000
She was awesome.

938
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:58,000
You know, the angels carry you.

939
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,000
That was a bit of a spiel.

940
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,000
May the angels forever fill your vodka bottle.

941
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,000
Oh, she's so fucking drunk.

942
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,000
I wanted to go bike riding after her.

943
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,000
Oh, yeah.

944
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,000
She said she wanted to go driving.

945
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,000
Two o'clock.

946
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,000
She said, I wanted to go drive the car.

947
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000
Oh, yeah.

948
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,000
She's wasting it.

949
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:19,000
Like in the middle of the night, she's going, I'm going driving now.

950
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,000
You're like, what?

951
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,000
Okay, go ahead.

952
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,000
I think you're going to get, I don't know, you're going to get too far.

953
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000
You tell her she gets all mad.

954
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,000
I can drive.

955
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,000
I mean, you really don't want to look it.

956
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,000
Fuck you.

957
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000
You don't want to find that out, right?

958
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,000
Well, I think, yeah, I guess.

959
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,000
I mean, she drove drunk everywhere.

960
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,000
Well, yeah, every time she'd go out, she'd come home with the cops driving around.

961
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,000
The cops would stop her and take her home.

962
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,000
Fuckin' Roselle police.

963
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,000
Shit.

964
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,000
Oh, this is this.

965
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,000
Oh, I forgot this was pretty cool.

966
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,000
Yeah, she wasn't getting DUI.

967
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,000
Yeah, we know.

968
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,000
Mark is a real nice guy.

969
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,000
What's the truth, though, yo?

970
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,000
Drunk girlfriend.

971
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,000
Oh, gee, thanks for bringing her back, asshole.

972
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,000
Shit, how about putting her in a drunk tank?

973
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,000
Because she's going to fucking abuse me in a little bit.

974
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,000
I'm going to be sitting there.

975
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000
Because they don't want to hear her.

976
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,000
They don't want to hear the drunk shit.

977
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,000
No, they know she's going to be there.

978
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,000
Dude, she's just going to be sitting there.

979
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000
They have to complain about that.

980
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:14,000
They're going to be sitting in the drunk tank on my fucking boyfriend.

981
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,000
Aw, man.

982
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,000
He's out with some whore right now.

983
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,000
That fucker.

984
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,000
Yeah, they definitely don't want her in there.

985
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,000
Just let her soak once.

986
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:26,000
The one thing she got pulled over up the down the road, they called me at work.

987
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,000
They called me and get her in the car out of there.

988
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,000
I had to call Joe.

989
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,000
I didn't get it.

990
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,000
Jesus.

991
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,000
What the fuck was she doing?

992
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,000
She goes like this, she's a cop.

993
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000
So take me to the jail.

994
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,000
I never go to this jail.

995
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,000
Not yet.

996
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,000
You say I cannot drive, then drive me to jail.

997
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,000
She's like, she's a bad bitch.

998
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,000
She's a bad bitch.

999
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,000
She really is.

1000
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,000
Like she just doesn't.

1001
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000
She's abusing men, abusing cops.

1002
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000
She's just abusing and forth.

1003
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,000
She's awesome.

1004
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,000
Everybody's abusing everybody.

1005
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,000
You're feeling sorry for her.

1006
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000
She probably knew exactly what she was doing.

1007
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,000
Yeah.

1008
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,000
Oh, right.

1009
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:06,000
Just because she had a language barrier doesn't mean she does not manipulate men.

1010
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,000
Exactly, right.

1011
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,000
She still had her own mind.

1012
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,000
You know what I mean?

1013
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,000
I respect that.

1014
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,000
She's not giving a shit about nothing.

1015
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,000
You know what I mean?

1016
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,000
She was good for that, too.

1017
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:19,000
I know I probably said this, man, but the girls in Poland were so fucking beautiful.

1018
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,000
All right, there we go.

1019
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,000
This is Larry's Creek Corner.

1020
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,000
They really are.

1021
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,000
They just were.

1022
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,000
They were hot.

1023
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,000
All right, thanks, Larry.

1024
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,000
I liked it there.

1025
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,000
For interrupting the story.

1026
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,000
Shout out to Poland.

1027
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,000
We got to get some Poland listeners.

1028
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,000
Polish?

1029
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:36,000
Anybody that knows somebody in Poland, call them up, tell them to listen.

1030
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,000
Yeah, do you know what we could do?

1031
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:41,000
We could just fucking randomly send out stickers to people.

1032
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Random ad dresses.

1033
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,000
All over the country.

1034
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,000
All over the world, I mean, yeah.

1035
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:50,000
Someone will be getting fucking put to death in China.

1036
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,000
Here you go.

1037
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,000
Because we fucking send them a Larry Needle sticker.

1038
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:55,000
Right.

1039
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,000
She's a needlepump.

1040
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,000
Exactly.

1041
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:03,000
We could send them to North Korea.

1042
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:07,000
We could send them directly to Kim Jong-un.

1043
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,000
I don't know about that.

1044
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:14,000
Dude, we could have a special and fucking talk about it in the whole time.

1045
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,000
We've got a big look at the case from his office.

1046
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:21,000
Yeah, but I wasn't told in advance to listen by them.

1047
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,000
He found out later.

1048
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,000
Man, you are.

1049
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,000
The mushrooms are kicking in, aren't they?

1050
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,000
They are.

1051
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,000
That's what it is.

1052
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,000
Right.

1053
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,000
That would be pretty funny.

1054
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,000
My skin feels like Play-Doh now almost.

1055
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,000
Why is that?

1056
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,000
It looks like alligator skin.

1057
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,000
I don't know why it would feel like Play-Doh.

1058
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,000
It feels smooth.

1059
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,000
It looks like alligator skin.

1060
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,000
Oh, it feels smooth.

1061
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:46,000
You know when you get that ball of Play-Doh, you roll it up real nice.

1062
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,000
Yeah.

1063
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,000
I think it's real smooth.

1064
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,000
So my fans feel right now.

1065
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,000
It's fucking gross.

1066
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,000
Just thinking of your hands.

1067
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,000
Why are you smelling their hands, dude?

1068
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,000
Just because they smell like Play-Doh.

1069
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,000
They don't.

1070
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,000
Why would they smell like Play-Doh?

1071
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,000
Why would they smell like Play-Doh?

1072
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,000
Because they feel like Play-Doh.

1073
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,000
But just because it feels like it smells like it?

1074
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,000
I don't know.

1075
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,000
I just want to try.

1076
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,000
What do you mean?

1077
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000
You don't know.

1078
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,000
You're a grown-ass man.

1079
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000
You should know that your hands aren't going to smell like Play-Doh if you ever smell like

1080
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,000
Play-Doh.

1081
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:12,000
Excuse me.

1082
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:13,000
I tried, man.

1083
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,000
What are you doing?

1084
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:20,000
Hey, I mean, no weird shit comes out of your mouth.

1085
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,000
Did you go to class?

1086
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,000
Sweet corn.

1087
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,000
Why would they say that?

1088
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,000
Did you go to class for mumbling?

1089
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,000
Mumble class?

1090
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,000
That's right.

1091
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,000
Where did you learn how to mumble like that?

1092
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,000
He taught himself to fly.

1093
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,000
You know how to mumble?

1094
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,000
Oh, shit.

1095
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,000
One of the best.

1096
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:35,000
I'm not quite sure where they're from.

1097
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,000
That's fucking great.

1098
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,000
All right, so getting back to Ava.

1099
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:45,000
So, I would have fucked her at that point when she said fuck me now.

1100
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,000
Oh, God, no.

1101
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,000
Oh, man.

1102
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,000
Yeah, you don't want to be, man.

1103
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,000
You're fucking playing with an alligator.

1104
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,000
We do not want to be in those legs.

1105
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:58,000
Everybody's been the ploy to kill Anne Ford in the legs.

1106
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,000
You gotta be an idiot to fucking throw her up.

1107
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:04,000
Yeah, I mean, did you give it to her a couple of times when she was like that?

1108
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,000
Yeah.

1109
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,000
Don't be just afraid of her.

1110
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:10,000
Because, man, the last thing you want to do is catch a hook while you're fucking banging.

1111
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:13,000
She's the one not fucking me good enough.

1112
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,000
Man.

1113
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000
She's a boss.

1114
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,000
They push you her good.

1115
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,000
You're fucking good.

1116
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,000
Yeah.

1117
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,000
She would shit.

1118
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,000
Oh, my God.

1119
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,000
Jesus.

1120
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,000
She's like, I'm fucking coal mine.

1121
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000
Yeah, there's some things that you...

1122
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,000
Some things like what?

1123
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,000
Made a little, you know, maybe a little...

1124
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,000
Made it more mentally, physically.

1125
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,000
Right.

1126
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,000
What was difficult?

1127
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:41,000
Being nice to her.

1128
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,000
Oh, well, yeah, man.

1129
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,000
I mean, it's not like you beat the shit out of her.

1130
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:46,000
God, no.

1131
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,000
She was fucking...

1132
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,000
I felt bad for her.

1133
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,000
I mean, I felt bad for her, but in turn...

1134
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,000
It was funny, man.

1135
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:56,000
I mean, I was like, I'm not fucking myself because it's driving me crazy, you know?

1136
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,000
She just hits you out of nowhere.

1137
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,000
It's so funny.

1138
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,000
So did the other one.

1139
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:04,000
He's like, stop hitting me.

1140
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,000
So did the other one?

1141
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,000
Oh, Gina?

1142
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,000
Gina, yeah.

1143
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,000
Didn't you have someone else also hit you?

1144
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,000
No.

1145
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,000
Oh, come on.

1146
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,000
You could think someone else.

1147
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,000
Sure.

1148
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,000
Like on Jerry Springer, you think any other guys you had sex with?

1149
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,000
No, no, that was more...

1150
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,000
More, yeah.

1151
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,000
I'm sure Jerry would do that, too.

1152
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,000
I mean, any test would be a good one.

1153
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,000
I mean...

1154
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,000
You sure there's no other girls that abused you, Mark?

1155
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,000
You want to get on the show and...

1156
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,000
I'm quite sure.

1157
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,000
Yeah.

1158
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,000
We can't get Ava, obviously.

1159
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,000
No, I know.

1160
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,000
I mean, we'd have to...

1161
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,000
She was a sweetheart, though.

1162
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,000
It's a shame she's right here.

1163
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,000
That bitch sure could change a tire.

1164
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,000
Oh, didn't she change it?

1165
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,000
Thumb pump.

1166
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,000
You're a thumb pump, man.

1167
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,000
She's not about plumbing.

1168
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,000
From her plumbing brother.

1169
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:52,000
She was a plumber, practically, herself.

1170
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,000
Man.

1171
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,000
She was more of a man than you were.

1172
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,000
Yeah, by far.

1173
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,000
It's a fucking...

1174
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:03,000
You're getting beaten up by a drunk Polish plumber.

1175
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,000
Why are you fighting that?

1176
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,000
What am I supposed to do?

1177
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,000
Your dad is a boxer.

1178
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,000
Anything I'm going to do is...

1179
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,000
Dude, the sound of it...

1180
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,000
Oh, my God, she hit me with it.

1181
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,000
It was a right...

1182
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,000
It's hilarious.

1183
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,000
A right on the chin?

1184
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,000
Yeah, like right on the chin.

1185
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,000
Perfect.

1186
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,000
I was like, holy shit.

1187
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:22,000
She probably said you have glass jaws.

1188
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000
Rock and the suck them robots, man.

1189
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,000
I mean, she...

1190
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:26,000
You can't believe it.

1191
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,000
You are pussy.

1192
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,000
You can't have no place to get...

1193
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:38,000
I will kick your ass.

1194
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,000
You don't know how to fight like...

1195
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,000
Fight like a man, you pussy.

1196
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,000
She's correcting you.

1197
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:46,000
Oh, you're not so fast, honey.

1198
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:51,000
I mean, like I said, I'm not trying to trivialize it, but it's just fucking...

1199
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,000
But let's trivialize her.

1200
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,000
What are your friends?

1201
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:54,000
Yeah, she's a boxer.

1202
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:55,000
I'm a...

1203
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,000
Yeah, we can tell by the grunt you made.

1204
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:02,000
Did she ever just flat out punch you good closed fists in the face?

1205
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,000
No.

1206
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:04,000
Did she ever slap you?

1207
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000
No, yeah, I never slapped you.

1208
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,000
Did she ever slap you in like a restaurant or somewhere?

1209
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,000
Yeah, yes, she did.

1210
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,000
Nice.

1211
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,000
Yeah.

1212
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,000
You got physically insulted by her.

1213
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,000
One time though, I slapped her too.

1214
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,000
Bad dude.

1215
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000
The...

1216
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,000
Oh my God.

1217
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,000
You see my head?

1218
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,000
Great done on her face.

1219
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,500
Listen, we don't condone that shit.

1220
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:25,000
Did you fuck her after that?

1221
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:26,000
No.

1222
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,000
Oh man.

1223
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:30,000
Oh, I mean, no, that really changed the mood.

1224
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,000
You shouldn't have slapped her though.

1225
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,000
Yeah, you're really a jackoff.

1226
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:35,000
I know.

1227
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,000
I know.

1228
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,000
I know.

1229
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,000
I feel horrible.

1230
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,000
I know.

1231
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,000
I feel horrible.

1232
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,000
I would.

1233
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,000
You slapped me in a Polish car.

1234
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:47,000
I wouldn't even slap Amber, and if any bitch deserved to be slapped in the world, it was her.

1235
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,000
Well, I'm sure this and me, and you could have...

1236
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,000
She should have been punched in the...

1237
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,000
I don't know.

1238
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,000
Listen, you should have broken up with her.

1239
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,000
She was super fucking drunk, and she could be yelling at me.

1240
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,000
It's not even making any sense.

1241
00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,000
Right.

1242
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,000
She's yelling like it makes weird noise.

1243
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,000
Noises.

1244
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,000
It gruntles like it was almost so young.

1245
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,000
Just to bother you.

1246
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,000
To get off hysterics, I had to slap her.

1247
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,000
God, every night, man, that's kind of...

1248
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:14,000
She's got the old fucking movies from the 40s, where they slap the bitch and she snaps out of it.

1249
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,000
Yeah.

1250
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,000
Well, did that was it?

1251
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,000
Mark, did he like the head-new slap fucking thing?

1252
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,000
Bang.

1253
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,000
Oh, my God.

1254
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,000
He held onto something.

1255
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,000
What is that called?

1256
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:28,000
That's why you decided I can't even see you anymore.

1257
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,000
You really got it all.

1258
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:34,000
He's like, I need you to come here, right to this spot with the axe on it.

1259
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:40,000
He's like stretching out of a hole.

1260
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000
He's over there.

1261
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:45,000
That fighting...

1262
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,000
What is it called?

1263
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,000
I don't know how you think where they just slap...

1264
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,000
Yeah, slap.

1265
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,000
What the fuck is that?

1266
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,000
It's not slap fighting.

1267
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,000
All the slap hitting.

1268
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,000
Bloody knuckles.

1269
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,000
Bloody knuckles.

1270
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,000
No, dude, the new game they have...

1271
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:58,000
The new sport.

1272
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:02,000
You just stand there, you stand there, and somebody slaps you in the face.

1273
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,000
It's as hard as they supposed to be.

1274
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,000
Oh, yeah, I've seen this before.

1275
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,000
Fuck it, slap fast.

1276
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,000
Knockout or something is called.

1277
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000
No, it's not called knockout.

1278
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,000
Yeah, you got knockout.

1279
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,000
No, let's get called sport.

1280
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,000
Knockout.

1281
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:18,000
You guys probably made up when you were kids, knockout.

1282
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000
You're nailed this smoking.

1283
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,000
You're like, oh, let's play knockout.

1284
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,000
What is my ass hurt?

1285
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,000
We had boxing gloves.

1286
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,000
It starts with boxing gloves.

1287
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,000
Then you have to get boxing gloves for Christmas.

1288
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,000
You're like, that's the pants off.

1289
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,000
Don't even respond.

1290
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,000
Yeah, that's the pants off.

1291
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,000
Why do all the other guys...

1292
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,000
Underwear off.

1293
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000
Yeah, why do all the other guys have their pants off?

1294
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,000
Hey, kid, why are you wearing your underwear?

1295
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:46,000
And then you know a loser has to take their underwear off.

1296
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:51,000
Is that part of the show again?

1297
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:55,000
Who's always the loser here?

1298
00:40:55,000 --> 00:41:00,000
And so...

1299
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:03,000
Yeah.

1300
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:07,000
We had a lot of fun for the kids.

1301
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,000
Oh, man.

1302
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,000
But it just goes on for the one...

1303
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,000
You got to take your pants off now.

1304
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,000
Hey, man, are you sure these are the rules?

1305
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:19,000
It's time for naked pictures.

1306
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:24,000
It's time for naked pictures.

1307
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,000
I mean, that's pretty fucking bold.

1308
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,000
We have to have a naked picture.

1309
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,000
You guys usually take a naked team picture.

1310
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Have a naked picture so it doesn't fly your body.

1311
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,000
Who took these pictures?

1312
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,000
The kid's dad.

1313
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,000
Freased.

1314
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,000
Oh, boy.

1315
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,000
All right, boys.

1316
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:47,000
Drop them.

1317
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,000
There's all the people.

1318
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,000
Photographers here.

1319
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,000
They had the lights and everything.

1320
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:51,000
Oh, my God.

1321
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,000
You were doing child porn?

1322
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,000
No, I don't know.

1323
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,000
It was taking picture day.

1324
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,000
Child porn shoes.

1325
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:00,000
They had a naked picture of us on file.

1326
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,000
What?

1327
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,000
Who did?

1328
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:03,000
The place we went to.

1329
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,000
For your own protection.

1330
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,000
The school that you went to?

1331
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,000
For naked picture of young boys?

1332
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,000
I'm making it an uproar.

1333
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,000
Man, that's what you believe that shit.

1334
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,000
Yeah.

1335
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:17,000
No, he's being a comedian, though.

1336
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,000
No, but that's funny, though.

1337
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,000
I see that happening.

1338
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,000
Can you imagine?

1339
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:26,000
But I was insinuating that it was getting molested, but okay.

1340
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,000
That's all right.

1341
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,000
Jesus, Ant-Fort.

1342
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,000
You got me that kind of picture day.

1343
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000
I just believe you took some stupid shit sometimes.

1344
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:40,000
Remember your show for gym class and they just say that naked picture day.

1345
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000
No, I never were a kid at school.

1346
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:45,000
Okay, now make sure everybody has an erection.

1347
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:48,000
I'll come and help you.

1348
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,000
You look like a fluffer for teenagers.

1349
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:54,000
The teacher is the fluffer.

1350
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,000
Our gym teacher was some kind of weird fag.

1351
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,000
I probably shouldn't have said that.

1352
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,000
Fluffer, whatever.

1353
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,000
You already said that.

1354
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,000
No, that's all right.

1355
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,000
I got no problem with that.

1356
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,000
It's just that he was a gym teacher was the weird part.

1357
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,000
My gym fag.

1358
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,000
Yeah, but gym teachers are weird.

1359
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:14,000
Well, it might be going to offend the physical education instructor.

1360
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,000
What was that?

1361
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:17,000
Chinese?

1362
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,000
No, man, what are you even talking about?

1363
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,000
You're reading a menu somewhere?

1364
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:23,000
No, I said you're going to offend the physical education guy

1365
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,000
by calling him a gym teacher.

1366
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,000
Just like your friend.

1367
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,000
Whatever.

1368
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:29,000
It doesn't matter.

1369
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,000
It's just a dumb fucking label.

1370
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:32,000
Both of them are.

1371
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:35,000
Anyways, I got no problem with either one fags or gym teachers.

1372
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,000
I like both.

1373
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:42,000
Whatever the proper wording is for gym teacher, I like them too.

1374
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,000
What the fuck do they want to be called?

1375
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,000
Physical education major.

1376
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,000
That's what you say?

1377
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,000
I believe so.

1378
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,000
That's a long thing.

1379
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,000
That's a lot to get written on a fucking tattoo.

1380
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,000
Physical education.

1381
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,000
It's physical education.

1382
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,000
They teach physical education.

1383
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,000
The educating you physically.

1384
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,000
All right, kids.

1385
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,000
It's raining outside.

1386
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,000
We're going to have indoor physical education.

1387
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,000
No, he's in the shower.

1388
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:11,000
Exactly.

1389
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:13,000
The lights off and everybody's wrapping the soap.

1390
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:18,000
One of the prerequisites is you have to have a Polaroid camera.

1391
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,000
A Polaroid?

1392
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,000
Imagine that.

1393
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,000
That's how you're a fucking pervert using a Polaroid camera.

1394
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:27,000
I got a Polaroid right there.

1395
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,000
You're a pervert.

1396
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,000
I got it underneath the toilet.

1397
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,000
Yeah, baby.

1398
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:36,000
What the fuck was that?

1399
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,000
It's a camera on the toilet.

1400
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,000
It's an airplane flying over.

1401
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,000
You want to hear the flash.

1402
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,000
You say it's an airplane.

1403
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,000
Is that what you tell them at your house?

1404
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,000
Are you over to the stall?

1405
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,000
They hear the thing, the picture.

1406
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,000
Come on.

1407
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,000
What's that?

1408
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000
That thing was loud as hell.

1409
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,000
Oh, man.

1410
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,000
It's making up noises to cover his perversion.

1411
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:07,000
It was right.

1412
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,000
It's something that retards making plain noises

1413
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:16,000
as hell as you see the flash.

1414
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,000
Right on the top of the stall.

1415
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,000
Why is he always starting acting like an idiot

1416
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:24,000
every time someone goes in the bathroom?

1417
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:30,000
Two flashes running each stall?

1418
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,000
Right out the window.

1419
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,000
I got you bogey at 3 o'clock.

1420
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,000
Give me a vector.

1421
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,000
That's pretty funny.

1422
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,000
Chuck Berry should have hooked up with Polaroid.

1423
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:44,000
Chuck Berry should have hooked up with Polaroid

1424
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,000
and had a special Chuck Berry Polaroid addition camera.

1425
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,000
Man, you know how many fucking flash bulbs you need

1426
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,000
and how long do you need?

1427
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,000
Dude, the paper alone would break you.

1428
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,000
They used to come on a bar that went on the top.

1429
00:45:56,000 --> 00:46:01,000
Now, listen, I got a newer school Polaroid,

1430
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:04,000
the kind that doesn't fold down flat.

1431
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,000
Remember they used to fold down flat?

1432
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,000
Yeah, this one stays large the whole time.

1433
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,000
It's right there.

1434
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,000
You might even be able to see it.

1435
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,000
That's good for radio, okay?

1436
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,000
It's got an automatic flash.

1437
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,000
I mean, it's pointing like a mongover flash.

1438
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,000
I'm showing you idiots.

1439
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:21,000
I know they can't see me.

1440
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,000
This fucking guy, I mean, he's looking at the carpet.

1441
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,000
This guy's funny.

1442
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,000
It prints a picture too right there.

1443
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,000
Yeah, yeah.

1444
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,000
The Polaroid camera like the old days.

1445
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,000
Oh, yeah, okay.

1446
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:34,000
No, I understand what the fuck it is.

1447
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,000
It prints a picture right there.

1448
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,000
You want a picture taken?

1449
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,000
It prints a picture like fucking ass.

1450
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:46,000
Take a picture of your junk and we'll just put it in somebody's mailbox.

1451
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,000
Do a couple of them so we can report about it in the morning.

1452
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:50,000
That'll be our t-shirt.

1453
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:53,000
36 mailboxes on each other's pictures.

1454
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:56,000
What was that this morning?

1455
00:46:56,000 --> 00:47:05,000
We tried to track down who's chef and who's baby.

1456
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,000
I think we could crack this game.

1457
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,000
There he is.

1458
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,000
Oh no, it wasn't us.

1459
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,000
The little penis.

1460
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,000
It wasn't us, officer.

1461
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:20,000
Whatever gave you that idea.

1462
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,000
They're like, let me see your bush.

1463
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,000
Yeah.

1464
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:28,000
The bionic rat's house is still the best man.

1465
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:32,000
Those aerosol bombs, we should make the rat's house.

1466
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:35,000
What are you talking about?

1467
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,000
Just like tie-in shit the aerosol cans?

1468
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:40,000
No, technically not that.

1469
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:48,000
We do this, we would take a wick from a lantern, like a gas lantern.

1470
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:53,000
Light it on fire and we would put an aerosol can behind it.

1471
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:57,000
And then we would shoot a BB gun at the flame.

1472
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:01,000
And it would bust the can open and the flame would already be there.

1473
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,000
And it would just make a huge explosion.

1474
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,000
And so it was a good way to...

1475
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,000
Sounds safe.

1476
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:12,000
And it was funny because his back yard, the grass was off the floor.

1477
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:17,000
And there was fucking cans everywhere.

1478
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:23,000
And the cops, we were like, you know, time must have been in like his 30s.

1479
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,000
Oh man.

1480
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,000
In our late 20s.

1481
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,000
Fucking rat in his 30s.

1482
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:32,000
Hanging out with you guys, you're like 10 years younger than him.

1483
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,000
Oh man.

1484
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,000
Fucking RIP rat.

1485
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,000
And so one day we blown off these bombs man.

1486
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,000
Boom, boom.

1487
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,000
And the neighbors are getting pissed, we know it.

1488
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,000
And fucking, so we do one.

1489
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:49,000
The cops came by and they come in, they drive by.

1490
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:55,000
And so Tom, like how he is after the cops leave, he's like, back yard and we're laughing.

1491
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,000
That's how Tom talks.

1492
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:01,000
We do another one and then we all race back in the house.

1493
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:08,000
And John and my brother are playing chess and Tom's playing, they're getting him singing shit.

1494
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,000
And I'm just hanging out.

1495
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:17,000
And the cops come to the door and they're like, are you guys lighting bombs?

1496
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,000
We're getting reports from the city.

1497
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,000
You know, we're in town with bombs, we're not kids.

1498
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:25,000
And so the cops are like, could we.

1499
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,000
The fuck.

1500
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,000
The Scorched Earth.

1501
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,000
Blown up shit over it.

1502
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,000
Cans everywhere.

1503
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,000
Like a bunch of degenerates.

1504
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,000
They shut the fuck up and pretend they don't see it.

1505
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:37,000
Dude, I mean the house is.

1506
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:40,000
They just say, okay.

1507
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:43,000
And the neighbors are like, not even 10 feet away.

1508
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:44,000
No, not even.

1509
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:45,000
They're like five feet away.

1510
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:46,000
Their other backyard was.

1511
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:50,000
Their grass is getting a little scorched too.

1512
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:53,000
A 30 fucking foot fireball, man.

1513
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:57,000
Like if you got a nice can of aquanet air, starting fluid.

1514
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:58,000
Starting fluid.

1515
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,000
Spray paint, anything, any airsoft.

1516
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,000
The last one we did was like.

1517
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,000
We'd be just a fireball like you came in.

1518
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,000
And it just rattled the windows.

1519
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,000
We were hoffing other shit.

1520
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,000
We didn't need the fucking hoff shit.

1521
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,000
We were on other drugs.

1522
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:13,000
We were on explosives.

1523
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:15,000
We were on explosives.

1524
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:16,000
Yeah.

1525
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,000
It was fun.

1526
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,000
Dude, I mean.

1527
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,000
Did he have a chain link fence?

1528
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:24,000
Yeah, the one neighbor next to him.

1529
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,000
Oh yeah, one side of.

1530
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,000
The head of other sides were chain link.

1531
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:28,000
He didn't really have a fence.

1532
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,000
It was all other people's fences.

1533
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,000
The neighbor behind can see.

1534
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,000
Yeah.

1535
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:35,000
The neighbor to the left can see.

1536
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:38,000
So you guys are making bombs in the back yard.

1537
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,000
Well, we really weren't making bombs.

1538
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:44,000
We were just setting up a can and shooting a BB gun at it.

1539
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,000
With fire.

1540
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:46,000
Yeah.

1541
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,000
Okay.

1542
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,000
But the fire was only this, you know, it was only like a big flame.

1543
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,000
Like a big lighter size.

1544
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:53,000
I understand that.

1545
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,000
You guys are fucking retarded.

1546
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:56,000
What?

1547
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,000
I didn't invent the game, man.

1548
00:50:58,000 --> 00:50:59,000
It's not a game at all.

1549
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,000
I mean, everybody knows you could do that.

1550
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,000
Yeah.

1551
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:07,000
It's just, it's amazing to me that you're all fucked up and then you could just see the

1552
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,000
neighbor's house right there and you could see the neighbors.

1553
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,000
Yeah.

1554
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:14,000
Like, look at these fucking idiots next door.

1555
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,000
What are they doing?

1556
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,000
And it's fucking rat.

1557
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,000
Here's your best thing though.

1558
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:24,000
The next door neighbors with the wooden fence, the fence wasn't there.

1559
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:29,000
They had a chain link fence and they had the wooden fence put in and they had it put 10

1560
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:33,000
feet high so Tom, they couldn't see in the rats yard.

1561
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:40,360
And so Tom puts the fucking snow plastic snowman from like Christmas time on a pole looking

1562
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,000
into their friends with the light on.

1563
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,000
Jesus.

1564
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:45,000
Man.

1565
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:51,000
Always like all year long, summertime, Halloween time.

1566
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:52,000
Why?

1567
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:56,000
Because they didn't, you know, he's like, they built this fucking fence to keep me out.

1568
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,000
So.

1569
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,000
I'm like, okay, that's cool.

1570
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,000
Yeah.

1571
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:02,000
Yeah.

1572
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:03,000
It was funny.

1573
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:07,000
It was there for like, it was there for like 10 years.

1574
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:08,000
Yeah.

1575
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,000
This fucking plastic snowman.

1576
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:13,000
It was like, you know, like a five foot tall frosty.

1577
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:14,000
Oh, no shit.

1578
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,000
Yeah.

1579
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,000
Well, the backyard looked like a jungle.

1580
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:18,000
Did you say that already?

1581
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:19,000
At the end it did, yeah.

1582
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:20,000
It was at Tom's house.

1583
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:22,000
Well, it was back in the early days before.

1584
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:23,000
The Amazon was the river.

1585
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,000
Yeah, before Sarah was around though, it was scorched fucking earth.

1586
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:31,000
It was like project nine.

1587
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:34,000
Project nine.

1588
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,000
District nine or something.

1589
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,000
Yeah.

1590
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:38,000
Like the 80s.

1591
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,000
You didn't even know what he was talking about.

1592
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,000
You were just laughing at whatever.

1593
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:48,000
One time we fucking put a, I had like this, somebody gave me like a half stick of dynamite

1594
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:51,000
and Tom's like, let's put it under the lid of the grill.

1595
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:52,000
Yeah.

1596
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:57,000
And the thing went like, I don't know, 40 or 50 fucking project, I was putting this

1597
00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:01,000
UFO in the backyard.

1598
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:02,000
Yeah.

1599
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:07,000
Jackass in the backyard ruined his grill.

1600
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:08,000
Oh, you think?

1601
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:11,000
I mean, how did it go?

1602
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,000
Dude, it looked like he didn't kill somebody.

1603
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:18,000
If that thing would have caught like a wind gust, it would have cappitied somebody.

1604
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:21,000
It went up and what did he do to his grass?

1605
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:22,000
Yeah.

1606
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:23,000
Jesus man.

1607
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:27,000
We, you know, we put the wick sticking out of the little vent hole, you know, they got

1608
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:33,000
that little turning thing and just lit it and ran away and it went again another time.

1609
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,000
It would never do it again.

1610
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:38,000
Yeah, it wasn't round for him anymore.

1611
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:43,000
And not only that, it put little percussion, almost dimples.

1612
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:44,000
The indentations in it?

1613
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,000
Yeah.

1614
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,000
From the inside out, heavy duty, man.

1615
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:48,000
Wow.

1616
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,000
All like these poor neighbors.

1617
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:51,000
Yeah.

1618
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:55,000
They're like up here with these stupid friends and they're shooting at aerosol cans.

1619
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:58,000
They're not even going, I can't see.

1620
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,000
They were busy in the picture.

1621
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,000
The snow was coming down.

1622
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:04,000
It's super peaceful, real quiet, you know.

1623
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:08,000
And Tom comes downstairs with those things.

1624
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:14,000
It was, I think it was either big cans of hairspray or starting fluid even.

1625
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,000
Very Christmas.

1626
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,000
He says, hey, look who's going to blow this up.

1627
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,000
Yeah, we've done this a lot already.

1628
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:21,000
So it's routine now.

1629
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:23,000
Everybody's blowing it up.

1630
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,000
Everybody had a part to play.

1631
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,000
Yeah.

1632
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,000
Yeah, you go get that.

1633
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:29,000
Right.

1634
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,000
Okay, so ready?

1635
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:31,000
It's ready.

1636
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:32,000
Bam!

1637
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:34,000
But the thing was often it was, it was a 30 foot fireball.

1638
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:35,000
Yeah.

1639
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:39,000
And the window pane shook on the fucking buildings and shit.

1640
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,000
You know what the neighbors know what's going on.

1641
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:42,000
No, no, no.

1642
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:47,000
Then we go right back to the fireplaces going and playing chess and reading books and the

1643
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:48,000
snow's falling down.

1644
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:51,000
And here comes the cops.

1645
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:52,000
Now the cops come.

1646
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:55,000
I mean, the guy, everybody's sitting here playing chess and doing it.

1647
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:56,000
No.

1648
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:57,000
No, no bombs.

1649
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,000
Can we see your back there?

1650
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,000
All the snow's melted fucking.

1651
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:03,000
Jesus Christ, man.

1652
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:09,000
One day I come home and I have to get a taxi cab home from some place in Rosamund.

1653
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:11,000
I'm trying to tell the guy where the house is.

1654
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:12,000
He's just going to the street.

1655
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:16,000
He's one right there with the big giant snow penis in the front yard.

1656
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:22,000
The fruit cake that lived there made like a seven foot cock in the fucking front yard.

1657
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:23,000
A giant dick.

1658
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:24,000
At Tom's house?

1659
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:25,000
Yeah.

1660
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:26,000
At Red's house he did?

1661
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:28,000
With the cock and balls with all the veins and everything.

1662
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,000
Get out of here.

1663
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:30,000
Every detail you could imagine.

1664
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:31,000
Yeah.

1665
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:32,000
It was like candy cane laying.

1666
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,000
There was lines of cars coming around to look at it.

1667
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:39,000
Until the cops said you guys got to take that shit down.

1668
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:40,000
Yeah, man.

1669
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,000
It was hysterical.

1670
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,000
Who made that shit?

1671
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:43,000
A giant dick.

1672
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:44,000
Dude.

1673
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:45,000
It was a big dick.

1674
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:46,000
It was a beef.

1675
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:47,000
He was a finook?

1676
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:48,000
Yeah.

1677
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,000
Losers.

1678
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:50,000
My God.

1679
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:51,000
Beef.

1680
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:52,000
Beef.

1681
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,000
He had posters of George Michael on his wall.

1682
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:55,000
Oh, I love his.

1683
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,000
I love George Michael.

1684
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:57,000
I love George Michael.

1685
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,000
Fuck yeah.

1686
00:55:58,000 --> 00:55:59,000
Wham's a shit.

1687
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:00,000
Oh, we call him.

1688
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:01,000
You like him to wham your ass.

1689
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:02,000
All right.

1690
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:03,000
I take that.

1691
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:08,000
Dude, he got busted like trying to get, he did the good old footsie thing I think.

1692
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:12,000
Didn't that happen to you at the fucking National Park?

1693
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:13,000
The public press room?

1694
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,200
Yeah, National Parks you got to watch out for.

1695
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:17,000
And I like to keep my victims low.

1696
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,500
Oh, no, get you a National Park, man.

1697
00:56:18,500 --> 00:56:22,000
If it isn't some pervert, it's just a UFO or a 30 foot Bigfoot.

1698
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,000
You're not going to get you an attention.

1699
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:25,000
30 foot Bigfoot?

1700
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:26,000
Yeah.

1701
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:27,000
You got to look out for it.

1702
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:28,000
I've never heard of a 30 foot Bigfoot.

1703
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:29,000
30 foot Bigfoot.

1704
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:30,000
Larry?

1705
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,000
I have not, though.

1706
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:32,000
This is news to me.

1707
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:33,000
I mean, where do you think he's going?

1708
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,000
30 foot Bigfoot.

1709
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:36,000
He came out of Montauk.

1710
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,000
Huh?

1711
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,000
The 30 foot Bigfoot.

1712
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:40,000
He came out of Montauk.

1713
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:41,000
He came through time.

1714
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:42,000
Montauk?

1715
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:43,000
Time portal.

1716
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:47,000
It was a CIA station.

1717
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:48,000
Okay.

1718
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:49,000
And?

1719
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,000
In like upstate New York someplace I believe.

1720
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,000
And?

1721
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:53,000
Montauk, New York.

1722
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:55,000
Yeah, that's where they have those crazy fucking...

1723
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:56,000
There's like on a coast.

1724
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,000
Animals washing up to shore.

1725
00:56:58,000 --> 00:56:59,000
Right.

1726
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:02,000
So they had the Stargate there.

1727
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:03,000
There's this thing.

1728
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,000
Yeah.

1729
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,000
I've seen the movie.

1730
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:06,000
Time travel.

1731
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:09,000
No, not the movie Stargate.

1732
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:10,000
They got portals there.

1733
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,000
I understand, but that's what a Stargate is.

1734
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:13,000
Sure.

1735
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:14,000
You've never seen the movie?

1736
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,000
No.

1737
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:16,000
You can go back and forth.

1738
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,000
You need one to get the other.

1739
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:19,000
They both work in Union.

1740
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:20,000
Yeah.

1741
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,000
But you had to have one set up right.

1742
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:25,000
And so this is where they made the ship disappear.

1743
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:26,000
Okay.

1744
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,000
Do you remember when the Eldridge disappeared?

1745
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:29,000
I don't know.

1746
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:30,000
I don't know what you're talking about at all.

1747
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:31,000
You have to explain.

1748
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:32,000
The Philadelphia experiment.

1749
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:33,000
Okay.

1750
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,000
And Montauk.

1751
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:35,000
They're connected.

1752
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:36,000
Okay.

1753
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:37,000
How?

1754
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:38,000
All the electricity.

1755
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:39,000
We made all the electricity.

1756
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,000
The large amount of electricity that opened these portals.

1757
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:42,000
Portals, you know.

1758
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:43,000
Okay.

1759
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:46,000
That's how they do it with like electromagnetic energy, I guess.

1760
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:49,000
I mean, they didn't do anything fucking possible.

1761
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,000
They did this.

1762
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:53,000
They opened up these portals and these things are coming through.

1763
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:55,000
You can conjure stuff up.

1764
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,000
That's some scary shit, dude, right there.

1765
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:58,000
Yes.

1766
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,000
You can think of something that it'll come alive.

1767
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,000
It could happen.

1768
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:02,000
It could come true right there.

1769
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:03,000
Well, yeah.

1770
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:04,000
You could basically.

1771
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,000
So there was...

1772
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:08,000
It was 1943, I believe.

1773
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:19,000
And the USS Eldridge was wired and then it disappeared in 1983 for a few minutes, in 1983, which it did.

1774
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:25,000
And then a guy from the ship from 1943 hopped off in 1983.

1775
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,000
Well, it's been stuck in 1983.

1776
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,000
Right?

1777
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:29,000
Yeah.

1778
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,000
By luck, his name is something.

1779
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,000
He does interviews.

1780
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:34,000
Okay.

1781
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:36,000
And he says he wasn't jubilant anyways.

1782
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:41,000
The whole reason they had this thing 40 year window.

1783
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:42,000
Okay.

1784
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:46,000
The ETs gave them the chair, the Stargate.

1785
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,000
Don't do drugs, kids.

1786
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,000
Yeah, that's your trust.

1787
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:51,000
Don't drink drugs.

1788
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,000
The grace.

1789
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,000
Or take more.

1790
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:56,000
Well, I was just wondering how we should talk about it because I'm just...

1791
00:58:56,000 --> 00:59:00,000
And I'm sorry for the confusion.

1792
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:01,000
You're right.

1793
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:08,000
And so anyways, 40 years the whole had to be opened because the Greys needed to bring great big giant ships in.

1794
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:09,000
Okay.

1795
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:12,000
To fill up the underground places where they lived now.

1796
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:13,000
40 years.

1797
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:14,000
To this day.

1798
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:15,000
Well, the rifting time.

1799
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:16,000
It was 40 years.

1800
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,000
Right.

1801
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:18,000
And it had to be that big.

1802
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:19,000
Wow.

1803
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:20,000
Where's the ships for that big.

1804
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:21,000
Wow.

1805
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:22,000
Holy.

1806
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:23,000
Just come over here, man.

1807
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:24,000
Just tell me a second.

1808
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,000
So they fuck these.

1809
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:26,000
It's a big ass portal.

1810
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:27,000
They got a ship through.

1811
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:28,000
Yeah.

1812
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:29,000
Yeah.

1813
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,000
Right?

1814
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,000
I guess they were spacious.

1815
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,000
You're gonna dry dock it and then fucking send it through the portal?

1816
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:37,000
I'm not sure.

1817
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:38,000
They called it dry docking.

1818
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:39,000
Yeah.

1819
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,000
Down at the...

1820
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:41,000
The elders.

1821
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,000
Come on, man.

1822
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:43,000
You can do it.

1823
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,000
I saw you struggling, big guy.

1824
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:47,000
I was waiting for it, man.

1825
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,000
I thought you got me.

1826
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:49,000
I was at the club.

1827
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,000
The elders were just in the water, I mean.

1828
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,000
At least at the kissing dudes club.

1829
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,000
But that's what this guy said.

1830
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:57,000
So you're gonna be in a kissing club.

1831
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,000
You're gonna be in a rip on me.

1832
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:00,000
What's up there, Fort?

1833
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,000
Okay, so these are living underground at E.T.'s.

1834
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:03,000
The gray ones.

1835
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,000
And there's other ones, too.

1836
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,000
You have to look at it.

1837
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:06,000
There's reptilians, too.

1838
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:07,000
Okay.

1839
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:10,000
I showed another thing today about the reptilians.

1840
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:13,000
This guy actually told me where the location is till they're around.

1841
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:14,000
But you can get to it.

1842
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:18,000
He said, you gotta go find some fucking mountain someplace and find this little cave.

1843
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,000
We're on the cave.

1844
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,000
You're gonna see.

1845
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:23,000
And then you actually get to a section where there's a steel door.

1846
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:24,000
Absolutely.

1847
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,000
They're there.

1848
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:26,000
Yeah.

1849
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:31,000
There's a little old steel, old school, old working, like, you know, steel door, literally

1850
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,000
from ages ago.

1851
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:36,000
And yeah, there are little silencers behind that.

1852
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:38,000
How do you get through a steel door?

1853
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:39,000
You're not a reptilian.

1854
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:43,000
You don't get through that door unless they take you through that door.

1855
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:45,000
And you believe, I mean...

1856
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:46,000
I kind of, I guess.

1857
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,000
I mean, you know...

1858
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:49,000
I don't know about shit like that, man.

1859
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:52,000
He seems so fucking farfetched, doesn't it?

1860
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,000
They're not so much reptilians.

1861
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,000
They're more human-like than anything.

1862
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:57,000
They just look reptilian.

1863
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:58,000
I don't know.

1864
01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:59,000
They have that skin.

1865
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:00,000
I mean...

1866
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:01,000
Yeah, I mean, they have everybody...

1867
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:02,000
Like Axema?

1868
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:03,000
Like reptile skin, though.

1869
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:04,000
You have reptile skin?

1870
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:05,000
They have...

1871
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:06,000
Vaguely.

1872
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:07,000
That's what I'm saying.

1873
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:08,000
Like Axema.

1874
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:09,000
Not as...

1875
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,000
As scaly as you?

1876
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:12,000
Yeah.

1877
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:13,000
Just right as all gone.

1878
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:14,000
Yeah, it looks good, though, yeah.

1879
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:15,000
You did have, like, a...

1880
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,000
It was fun.

1881
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:17,000
Like, you were an armor.

1882
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,000
I know, no, it looks good.

1883
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,000
You look like Cindy Lauper now.

1884
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:21,000
Four years clean.

1885
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,000
You can't be a fuck-head on.

1886
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,000
Five years clean.

1887
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:26,000
Four-year model.

1888
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:29,000
I'm not leaving flakes of myself all over the stage anymore.

1889
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,000
My potato chip?

1890
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:34,000
That's what you have.

1891
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:37,000
Oh, yeah, it sucks having that shit, man.

1892
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,000
Believe me, it's no fun, though.

1893
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:42,000
All right, so now that we've offended all the Axema people,

1894
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,000
we still love you.

1895
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:44,000
That was an hour?

1896
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:45,000
Yeah.

1897
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:47,000
We're gonna sign off.

1898
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:48,000
Goddamn, man.

1899
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:49,000
That went quick.

1900
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:50,000
Thank you.

1901
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:53,000
I'm gonna go get some of the needles that's going to help

1902
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:55,000
using the Lord's name in vain.

1903
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:56,000
I'll see you there.

1904
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:57,000
I'll see you there.

1905
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:00,000
Mark should be your example.

1906
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:03,000
We're not to take drugs, everybody out there.

1907
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:06,000
Fucking guy.

1908
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,000
Mumble his way out of a wet paper bag.

1909
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:10,000
Don't take drugs.

1910
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:11,000
Yeah.

1911
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:13,000
I'm Larry.

1912
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:14,000
And I'm Needle.

1913
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:15,000
Peace.

1914
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:16,000
Oh.

1915
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:17,000
I got one.

1916
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:19,000
Oh, like, follow, subscribe.

1917
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:24,000
That and Yahoo.com, Larry and Needle show at Yahoo.com.

1918
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:28,000
And you can also email us if you just want to talk some shit.

1919
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:34,000
Also, I just want to say, yeah, an injustice anywhere is a threat

1920
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,000
to justice everywhere.

1921
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:37,000
That's right.

1922
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:39,000
Whoa, whoa, what are you doing here, Larry?

1923
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:40,000
Is this Larry's final thought?

1924
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,000
Yeah.

1925
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,000
Are you trying to do a springer on this shit?

1926
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:44,000
No, no, that's not.

1927
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:45,000
Yeah, you are.

1928
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:46,000
I don't like this.

1929
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:47,000
You need to fucking read stuff.

1930
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,000
That was Myron Luther King Jr.

1931
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:51,000
So now you're quoting people on the show?

1932
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:53,000
Just one person.

1933
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:55,000
Wait, this is going to be an ongoing thing.

1934
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:56,000
That's a great quote.

1935
01:02:56,000 --> 01:03:02,000
I just wanted to say, I just want people to keep being free, man.

1936
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,000
What was the quote again?

1937
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:05,000
Aw, man.

1938
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:09,000
I was so enraged that you were just reading quotes.

1939
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,000
No, man, it was a good one.

1940
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:14,000
I hope we don't get busted for copyright infringement.

1941
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:15,000
No, it won't be.

1942
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,000
This is like a known thing that they said.

1943
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,000
You should have cleaned it as your own.

1944
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:19,000
That would have been funny.

1945
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,000
No, because this is a known quote.

1946
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:23,000
But Larry, you should have.

1947
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:24,000
Yeah, you can't do that.

1948
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:25,000
I want to know, man.

1949
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:26,000
Okay, I made this up.

1950
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,000
Show me who it is.

1951
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:32,000
Injustice Anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

1952
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:33,000
By Larry Jones.

1953
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:35,000
Thank you very much.

1954
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:37,000
Now we're going to get busted.

1955
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:41,000
And Martin Luther King co-wrote it with me.

1956
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:44,000
You guys fucking, you like holler roads.

1957
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:45,000
You're helping me.

1958
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:46,000
You're helping me.

1959
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:49,000
I helped Holland Oates carry in their amp one day.

1960
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:51,000
That's what we need to do with your Photoshop.

1961
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:52,000
You next time.

1962
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:53,000
I'm going to get Holland Oates in here.

1963
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:54,000
Next time.

1964
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:55,000
Darrell Hall.

1965
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:56,000
Jesus, and fourth.

1966
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:58,000
Darrell Hall, John Oates.

1967
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,000
Yeah, we'll Photoshop you next to him.

1968
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:01,000
Holland Oates.

1969
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:03,000
You and Martin Luther King.

1970
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:06,000
Anyways, thank you for tuning in.

1971
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:07,000
Thank you.

1972
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,000
Thanks, Mark, for being here.

1973
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,000
Thanks, bro.

1974
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:11,000
We're for sure.

1975
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:12,000
Hey, you're welcome.

1976
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:13,000
Anytime.

1977
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:14,000
Thanks.