Time to get ready for the Larry and Needle Show.
And...
And Needle.
And...
And Needle.
And...
And Needle.
Show.
And we're rolling. Alright, hello. Welcome to the Larry and Needle Show. I'm Larry.
And I'm Needle.
And uh, you can't see it but we're in a different studio today.
We just made our studio. We upgraded.
We're in the lab but we turned half of it into the studio which I'm sure you're really bored with but we're just going to tell you what's going on.
Yeah, and then also... We made some t-shirts today.
Remember to like, follow, subscribe, tell your friends, hit our email address at the Larry and Needle Show, all lowercase at yahoo.com.
And we're going to send out some t-shirts to the first ten people who respond with their size.
Yeah. And we'll cover all the costs.
Yeah. And shout out to Russ and Matt. I got t-shirts for you too when I see you.
So Larry and I really don't do anything. We just hang out and get stoned so that's why we do so many episodes.
We're not comedians. We're not broadcasters but we're working our way towards whatever this is going to be.
So if we could release one a day, you know, better for you, right?
That's it, man. How you doing today, Larry?
I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing pretty good.
I'm fucking hailing out today which is crazy.
Yeah, it was weird.
We were 80 degrees last week.
My wife... Bullshit.
I know. It's crazy for sure. My wife said, uh, oh, oh god, that doesn't look like real stuff.
That looks like plastic. It's some government shit.
It was like foam. Like that styrofoam. Those little balls and shit. I showed you that video.
Yeah, but my wife thought it was like, you know, sent down from the ball.
The government?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, now she's focused her conspiracy theories on the weather.
Partially, yeah.
Well, it sounds like fully. I mean, it doesn't sound like partially. She's saying that, uh, I mean, we all know who controls the weather, wink, wink.
Harp.
So I don't know if Mary's in cahoots with these people or she knows what's going on, but that doesn't sound that feasible.
Yeah.
And how are they controlling the weather?
Well, they have different microwave techniques and they see the clouds and they do all kinds of...
I've seen them do the light and you never see that where they shoot the rod up and they make the lightning come down.
Sure, sure. Yeah. They can do things, man.
Well, you can manipulate...
They've been able to do that since like the 40s and 50s.
Can manipulate the stratosphere, is that what it is?
Sure. Yeah.
Maybe to...
You know, they could make certain weather phenomenon happen by heating up a section of the sky over, over somewhere, you know, different shit.
Well, the fuck up is...
When you... I remember...
There was a various fucking bullshit that they're involved in.
I was watching member Chernobyl.
Oh, God, yeah.
And when it got...
We wrote a song about it, Meltdown.
When it got...
Nailstrom.
Which band?
Nailstrom, yeah.
When...
Whenever you see...
Hey, you can get that on CD on Lost Realm Records.
Jesus Christ.
And it's called Chicago Meltdown.
You're gonna have to pay us for the promotion.
83-89.
I don't like this.
Prost-promoting.
But, so when Chernobyl happened, it all went into the atmosphere.
Yeah.
And it reached all the way over here.
Do you know what I mean?
Sure.
We were saying that even with Three Mile Island,
Oh, yeah.
I think there was a little bit of release of radiation.
It's not gonna stay contained.
That's for damn sure.
Oh, yeah.
Remember when we were watching that thing on the dogs of Chernobyl?
I showed you that, right?
Oh, yeah.
That was fucking crazy.
And they were fucking mutated beyond belief.
Hey, do you know that they made a fucking...
What?
Like an amusement park?
Not an amusement park, but you can go visit there or I think you could...
Yeah, you could do a tour there.
Yeah.
They actually have Geiger counters and shit.
They see like a kid's bedroom and a kitchen.
They just left.
And everything's still there.
Would you stay?
No, but it's just fucking weird that, you know, you can go and check it out and see...
Well, I mean, you're not supposed to, obviously.
Oh, I thought it was okay.
I mean, anything goes in fucking Ukraine, right?
Yeah, I think it is in Russia outright.
Is it in Russia outright?
I thought it was annexed by Russia, but...
And then of course the fallout hit Ukraine, you know.
But do you ever see that elephant's foot, that famous picture from inside the reactor where
it just melts out and it all looked like an elephant's foot?
No.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
I'll show it to you.
Once we get a video aspect, I'll get like a whiteboard and I can put stuff up there.
You and your picture that we're going to put in the post office.
Yeah.
Your wanted picture.
It's cool in here, man.
It's a lot better.
I'm looking around.
I see all the flags we have.
Yeah, America, man.
Yeah.
So, the first thing I wanted to talk about today, which I think is silly...
The first thing I want to talk about is you got a fucking lighter.
I can't see you find a lighter.
What the fuck, Larry?
We don't have the Crack Baby Mobile.
It's out in the studio.
Yeah, we'll have to get it.
There's probably a lighter right up there next to my shoe.
I'm sure everybody's very interested in that.
So, these two dudes, what do you call it, these science students created an AI woman,
made a profile for her, and made money selling nudes off of men.
Nice.
I want you to try to guess what nationality are.
Wait a second.
I'm going to read you one of the comments.
Okay.
You ready?
Yes, I am ready.
Where you're looking very pretty.
That's the whole comment?
That's the comment.
Now, think about it.
I think it's from East India.
Ding, ding, ding.
You're looking very pretty, man.
Indian dudes are horny, man.
The Bob's want everything.
They love a sexy lady.
Let me tell you.
So, these dudes fucking duped all these guys into spending $100, it was multiple guys,
her nudes for this AI generated chick, her name was Claude.
Are there sending pictures that look like a woman?
Yeah, and the people were paying for them, and then she was...
I guess if you could still wink to it, it's fucking...
Dude, it's a loophole.
Yeah.
Why can't you...
If dudes are...
Man, listen, dudes are fucking stupid, man.
They really are.
I mean, we think we're dicks, right?
Yeah.
This is a known thing.
Exactly.
So, if you could get away with sending...
Making money off of some fake chick, why not?
Send a picture of Jessica Rabbit.
So, they made about 8,100...
A card too.
Well, obviously, they're going to be able to tell Larry.
I know.
And they have hentai.
I think that's where hentai is.
That'd be funny though, on the time, you know, when you want to let them know they're getting ripped off.
You send them to the last picture.
Well, yeah, I mean, you don't want to be so apparent, right?
You kind of want it to be a little bit transparent.
So, basically, these guys were fucking making nudes, making nudes, sending them to guys.
And they were catfishing them too, to get money sent to them.
Oh, nice, nice.
So, they were like...
I didn't even want to see my aunt in Connecticut.
Well, they posted a picture and it got...
It was on Reddit.
You know, shout out Reddit.
Oh, figure.
And they got hundreds of comments.
Sure.
So, these guys, like, offered...
Dudes were just like offering shit.
You know what I mean?
Like, more money, more nudes, send videos.
So, that gets me to my next point.
We should probably...
Not my next point would be, we should probably have some kind of slutty chick as our logo.
He would have a lot more followers.
No, I don't like that idea at all.
I know.
I'm thinking though.
Yeah, I'm thinking.
I'm thinking to yourself.
We don't pay to think around your lady.
So, the next thing is...
Okay, laugh at your own fucking joke.
You can make deep fake porn with someone's face.
Oh my God.
You know this.
No.
You don't know this.
Okay.
I imagine though, yeah, this is the point you could.
Let's say you go to Dunkin' Donuts.
You can tell your wife that.
That doesn't mean.
Wait a second.
Slow down, Rod.
You're starting to spin your wheels.
So, let's say we go to Dunkin' Donuts today.
And there's a girl in there that you just happened to see.
Yeah.
And if you take a picture of her...
Oh, man.
You could take her face and put it on...
She would have made an amazing fucking porn.
This is hypothetical, Larry.
What are you talking about?
That girl in Dunkin' Donuts is fucking amazing.
My God, Jesus.
Larry's throwing us under the bus now.
Larry's a creeper, doesn't he?
So, it's called face swapping.
So, you take a picture of somebody.
You literally put their face in it and you can pick a body to put it on and then make
porno out of it.
Wow.
Isn't that crazy?
That's pretty incriminating.
So, it's... yeah.
So, they're having problems with this because it's used for fraud and to sway political
feeling or create tension.
Think about this.
If you were a leader and you posted this shit on the computer, you could fucking cause
some chaos.
Oh, yeah, man.
Pictures of G fucking Stormy Daniels having a threesome with Donald Trump and shit.
What are you talking about?
You know, you could fucking put President G in there.
You can make Joe Biden getting double teamed by somebody.
You know what I mean?
You're not thinking outside the box, dude.
I'm thinking outside the box.
This guy already bang stormy Daniels.
Let's go on to some room.
No, I'm saying... whatever.
So, basically, I could take your face and make gay porn out of it.
And I won't have to do that for you because I could just look on the Internet and find
the gay porn with you and it...
So hard hitting Larry.
It hurts right here.
Fucking funnook.
So...
You're gonna fucking hang here, man.
What's that?
Forget it.
Oh, okay.
So, they're using it also to FaceTime with people.
So, say you call up your grandma and you get the son and you think it's a son, you can
do... it's not all just porn though, too.
Sure, you can really fucking lie to people.
You can scam people out of shit.
That's why... and AI generated voices, too.
Grandma, I'm in jail.
I need $1,000 right now.
If I got your voice and called fucking Big Joe and I was like, hey, this is Larry and
I got caught in the manhole again and I need $10,000 bail.
Oh, you're just so fucking funny.
I know, it made you laugh though, you dumbass.
So... but they're using it to scam the shit out of people right now.
Which is amazing.
It's fucking great, man.
What a wonderful world.
Technology is starting to surpass us.
That's the problem.
Well, it surpassed you.
It surpassed me.
I don't know what that means.
I mean, obviously you and I have fucking problems making a goddamn web address.
It took us two days to figure that out, but we did it.
So cheers to us.
Yeah.
But I mean, the possibilities are endless with this stuff.
We're going to have a big party at the VFW hall celebrating the web, the email address.
We're going to have...
Man, that sounds like a big blowout just for an email address.
That's going to be great, man.
Let's work on a thousand subscribers and then we can get right out to VFW and hall and have
a beef and brew.
Oh, there you go.
It'll be perfect.
And then you guys could play live.
Right.
Okay, so... got some sad news today.
What happened?
Stevie Paddock.
Man.
Who's that?
Stevie Paddock.
I don't even know.
The Las Vegas shooter.
Oh.
Are you kidding me?
Like I'm supposed to know.
RIP Stevie Paddock, dude.
He died?
What do you mean he died?
He was murdered.
Oh, I don't know.
By the feds, I think.
Oh, okay.
Remember the guy that shot up the country?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was called the Route 91 Harvest Festival.
We talked about this last time.
I forgot that.
So...
I don't remember the motherfucker's name.
I don't like, you know, I don't try and idolize those fuckers.
I'm not idolizing him at all.
I'm just bringing up some news, man.
Okay.
So this poor guy got the run to the stick.
What happened, man?
Well, this is the guy that... remember what we were talking about?
What the... took the guns up to the Vegas hotel room.
Oh, yeah.
Shot all those people.
Okay, well, so allegedly he just kicked the... opened the window and started opening fire
on everybody.
Right.
Okay?
There's a lot of conspiracy theories.
Allegedly.
Yeah, there's a lot of conspiracy theories.
So basically this poor guy, man, not even in death can he get a break.
Let me tell you.
All his proceeds have been divided amongst the family members.
They've auctioned off all of his stuff and sold all his shit.
I wonder what they got through those guns.
Oh, wait a second.
I got you, Kat Rods.
I got you, kiddo.
I did my... I did my work today.
All right.
So they got 1.4 million.
Wow.
Wait, wait, wait.
It took six years to get this process.
So court fees and all this shit to not have to be... has to be taken out of this.
A lot of stuff happened.
Right?
61 survivors of the victims are getting money.
Okay.
Think about that.
Okay.
It's a 1.4 million.
That's not much.
Try to do the math.
Yeah.
Let's see if you can do something here.
It's getting low.
All right.
Don't you want to take a stab at it?
Now you're going to ask me to do fucking math and stuff.
Just because you're all stoned.
Okay, wait, how much was it?
No, Jesus.
I don't want to be here all day now.
21,300 dollars each.
Wow.
I mean, you could buy a nice couple of fucking t-shirts from that concert.
They're probably vintage now.
Yeah.
They probably go for a lot of money.
Yeah.
But...
Especially low in bullet hole.
21 grand, dude.
$300.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah.
But that...
I don't know.
Well, what's wrong with that though?
What do you think they should have done?
Something differently?
Well, I mean, everybody's so litigious, so I'm sure there's other lawsuits going on.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
This is just the depletion of his property, the liquidation of his property.
And this is just...
Now, his property consisting of like what, a house, a car, the guns, all this shit.
Everything he had, yeah.
Okay.
So, he had 49 guns.
Wow.
13 were retained by the FBI and the other 36 were destroyed.
Oh, man.
Okay, now listen though.
This is fucking bananas.
What they do in Vegas is they were going to auction off these guns.
So, they would have auctioned off 36 guns.
And they would have probably made a shit, you know what I mean?
Yeah, fucking shit.
Like there's some sick fucks out there.
Yeah, fucking shit, a ton of money.
Well, there's some sick fucks out there, man.
Yeah.
Like Nazi memorabilia, link, link.
Let's see, there's a lot of other stuff.
But so an anonymous donor gave $62,500 to cover the cost of the weapons being destroyed.
Wow.
So, isn't that crazy?
Yeah.
Like...
Someone donated the money to destroy the gun.
Yeah, because I mean...
And it was a victim's...
That's a painful thing.
Think about that, man.
Sure.
Those guns could be used in crimes again.
Yeah.
They could be put in some weird fucking freak show.
Museum.
Look at this gun.
It would be with the O'Bonnie and Clyde's car, remember?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I mean, they still...
I think they have like the murder museum.
Do you have a Ziploc bag full of M&Ms in your pocket?
And you're not even going to take them...
Oh, Jesus, man.
I swear to God, Larry.
What is wrong with you?
I like your bedazzled shoes, too.
The very nice...
Happy bedazzles.
Yeah.
Ohm.
So, yeah, this poor guy just can't catch a break.
He's a Steven Paddock.
Man.
I don't know what else to do about it.
Well, we should probably throw some kind of benefit thing for him.
We're at Vegas.
Should we see if we can petition for a permit?
Hey, we want to have a Steven Paddock benefit.
Throw a party in that room.
Yeah.
I don't think we'd be leaving without a couple lumps.
You can go in and negotiate.
How's that?
I'm sure Aisle's already tried.
Well, I mean, I don't...
That thing's just been brushed under the rug, though.
You don't hear...
It's weird I don't hear nothing of...
Remember after 9-11 happened for ten fucking years everybody was like,
America, America, and then all of a sudden it started to slowly decline?
Yeah.
Like everybody was prideful at one point.
Well, that was because they wanted to shift the...
Agenda?
Yeah, you know.
At that time they thought it would work to their advantage for everyone to be all into it, but...
Into what?
The country?
Yeah.
Yeah, but everybody banded together.
Yeah, and now they see that it's probably better if they say,
Fuck America and make everyone hate it.
Who says that?
I will slap a motherfucker in the mouth if I hear that.
All right, I'll point him out next time.
Do we know somebody like that?
No, we don't.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Not personally.
I was gonna say, if this guy's in your circle...
It's the people on top.
Of who?
You know, the president and shit like that, people like that.
What?
What are you talking about?
M&M's are getting your head.
Yeah.
How about this, man?
All right.
Hit me up later.
These guys aren't having such a great day.
There's a bunch of diplomats that are stuck in Sudan, and I guess they warned these fucking
people a couple weeks ago to get out of there.
Where's Sudan?
Africa?
Yeah.
And the civil war broke out.
So now these people are stuck there.
I remember all that shit on fire we were just watching that.
Was that what that was?
Yeah, that was Sudan.
Oh, I was watching something.
Remember, they were talking...
I asked Red Dead somewhere else.
They were blowing the airport up.
Okay.
And then the jets were flying over.
They were blowing the runway.
There's a lot of Americans there, and they're fucking stuck there.
Why?
What the fuck are they doing out there?
I don't know.
I don't know, but they're...
Business people?
Yeah.
What do you need that for?
Hand me one of them fucking lighters, so I don't have to keep asking you.
Here, take this one.
Thank you.
Yeah, no problem.
What the fuck are they doing out there?
Did you find out?
No, but you know, they have different things they're doing, different business, and different...
Yeah.
You know...
I mean, obviously, I'm sure a lot of the Americans are out there.
I'm sure...
No, they're not.
They're actually not.
Why me the government Americans?
No, some of them are stuck too.
Yeah, but they'll get those fuckers out.
And they sat on TV, you know, they had the press secretary saying, you know, she's a lying fucking cunt.
Which one's that?
The raggedy-an looking bitch, the fucking buckwheat looking one.
With the air.
Yeah.
Okay, Larry, yeah.
I think you just broke it down.
Okay?
And what did she say?
She said the people are stuck there, and now at this point it's probably too late because
they don't have the means to go there and be able to get them out.
No, come on.
That's just what they said, man.
I know, but...
Maybe you're lying.
...they're not even what they say.
Well, they probably just don't want to go get those fuckers.
And they're not going to announce it.
Right.
So we're coming to get you.
I'm telling you right now, those guys are fucking secure.
American citizens?
Man, you're crazy.
What do you mean?
We probably have troops there.
American citizen doesn't mean shit anymore.
Yeah, it does?
Not really.
Well, you could use this as a bargaining chip.
He'll be used, yeah.
The people that are there will be used.
So it means something.
Yeah, give us our terrorists back for these innocent people.
Well, yeah.
Didn't we trade somebody for...
Oh, yeah, that Brittany Griner chick.
No, you don't hear anything about her either.
No.
Or the angel of death dude or whatever his name is.
Well, you'll hear about him later.
I was going to say about 50, about 40 more years.
No, no, not even that long.
He'll fucking be involved in something.
Oh, he's involved in shit right now.
Yeah, yeah, but he'll get caught doing something.
I mean, he was like a violent arms dealer.
Yeah, and you know what?
I saw a special about that guy once.
He had some fucking connections.
Like, I mean, he knew the worst of the worst people.
Well, all around the fucking world.
I was like, wow, man.
He was young doing it, man, selling these fucking guns.
I mean, shipping fucking, playing full fucking containers full.
There's a cool movie called God of War.
Yeah.
It's a Nicholas Cage and he's like a gun runner or he's like an arms dealer.
And it shows all the connections he has and what he gets.
And it's cool, the beginning of the movie, it starts like,
they show them making a bullet.
Then it goes somewhere, then it goes somewhere, and it goes somewhere.
And then finally it ends up in like Sudan.
Oh, wow.
And there's just like little kids and they just take the bullets and they dump them on the ground
and everybody just grabs them and starts loading their weapons.
It's just like a firefight going on.
Oh, man.
Like, man, the warlords out there, they're fucking vicious.
Remember that general butt naked dude we were?
Oh, yeah.
The guy would fucking eat hearts.
Yeah.
He would cut people, tie them to a pole, cut their back open,
and eat their heart out from the back.
Yeah, he was a bad motherfucker.
He was a real, he would go into battle naked.
And it's general butt naked.
Yeah.
And they would sacrifice a child before each fucking war or fight.
Man.
The guys were ruthless and they were all drugged up, man.
Yeah, well, you know, it's part of it.
And they used to dress, one guy dressed like Chuckie,
another guy would dress like Michael Myers.
Like they were dressing like Freddie Krueger and shit.
Yeah, that was fucking crazy.
Little stabby.
Little bludgeonty, little rapey.
Yeah, that was pretty good.
I like that.
Those guys, the fuck.
If I was going to have an army, I would let everyone pick their own shit.
And they'd be children too, because they're fucking easy to manipulate.
And there you go, fucking going to war.
Yeah, wouldn't he have like 12-year-old kids and 11-year-old kids fighting for him?
Give him some meth.
You know, here you go, kiddos.
Here's an AK-47.
They all wound up.
They all wound up, man.
If you kill enough people, I'll give you some hot wheel cars tonight.
Hot wheel cars.
I give you something to eat.
We won't keep feeding you drugs, because we don't have to war for a couple days.
But those guys live a brutal lifestyle.
Well, yeah.
They're fucking warlords, dude.
But they're all like, they're like jungle people.
You know what I mean?
They would be a good person to go camping with.
Remember that, what was that thought?
They would know what to do.
What'd you just say?
They would be good people to go camping with.
You want to go camping with these people?
No, you fucking idiot.
But they would be good at camping.
Why that?
Well, they live in a fucking jungle.
They're all prepared to do shit like that already, you know.
No, I don't.
Okay, I'll take your word for it.
I want to see these guys pitching a tent.
They probably can make a fire.
Yeah, they can pitch a tent, right?
You're pitching a tent right now looking at me.
Yeah, thinking about kids.
And you're thinking about all these 12-year-old war boys.
Oh, worked up.
Got the butts cut out of their Chucky uniforms.
Just right here.
Assless Chucky uniforms.
Yeah, assless Chucky pants.
Very silly.
But...
So what happened with that Chinese balloon?
Anything?
Did you figure out what was going on with it?
No, they...
Yeah, they went over all of our heavy fucking, heavily fortified military installations,
figured out all kinds of information.
With the balloon?
Yeah.
Can't do it.
They looked like idiots, don't we?
It was outfitted with a lot of shit, man.
That balloon was fucking huge.
Yeah.
It was very, very big.
Well, people, yeah, you can see it from the ground, people said.
I mean, they said it was the size of six school buses.
That's fucking crazy.
That's fucking huge.
I mean, how the fuck does that shit get by?
Obviously, it might be under the radar.
That's bigger than, like, a balloon that you'd fly around in with the little bears.
Hot air balloon, you mean?
Yeah, hot air balloon.
But how the fuck is that under the radar?
Is that what's going on?
I think it might be a...
I don't know.
You know?
Because it's got to be...
Someone's got to track it.
It's just so small, it might just be, you know, a bird or something.
No, not even...
Come on, radar, sis.
I mean, if you're flying over...
No, I don't know.
Think about that.
If you're flying over sensitive institutions...
They knew it was there the whole time.
They just let it go.
That's the dumbest fucking part.
Maybe that's what we have to do, just let go, right?
Let go and let go.
Yeah, but I don't know how...
Let go and let the United States take care of it.
So we're able to steer the thing as well.
Well, yeah, they just can't fucking let it...
Go right down.
Yeah, I mean...
Well, we were kids in like fucking grade school, like first or second grade, third grade or
something like that.
Yeah.
We went outside and we all had like...
We put our names and address on a postcard or some piece of paper.
Oh, boy.
I know what you're gonna say next time.
We put it on a balloon and we let him go and a couple of kids got letters back.
Like, one kid got a letter from someone in Ireland, somebody got a loan.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
No shit.
You think the school just did that though?
No, only like two kids got two or three kids out of the whole school.
I think the teachers did that, yeah.
You think so?
I don't think so.
You guys are a little idiots.
Nah, man.
Man, to get your hope as...
Oh my God!
They were getting fucking shit postmarked from, you know, Europe.
It was taking months and stuff.
It didn't come back for a long time.
Okay.
Very long time.
Like...
I think I did that too.
Months, man.
We were so wasteful and hurt the environment so much.
Let these fucking...
Let the whole school go.
Every kid let a balloon go and see how many whales we can choke out with this motherfucker.
Man, there actually is a story about like these balloons.
You ever see when these idiots fucking let go of balloons and they go into the power lines?
No.
They let you know those like foil balloons?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
So if you have power coming into a house, it's three lines, ABC phase.
If you go in between them, that's how you get killed.
So you go A, B, A, C, B, C, B, you know what I mean?
Like that's how you get killed because now your body is completing the circuit.
Okay.
So they let these...
You know, but you've seen the foil balloons, right?
Yes.
The ones like they're the weird shape.
Yeah, like a heart and it never deflates.
Dude.
They float forever.
Well yeah, and they fucking launched that bitch up and it turns right in between them
and bam!
Fucking lightning bolts.
It hits the ground.
Really?
It scares the shit out of them, man.
It's so funny.
Lucky nobody got killed on that shit.
Well yeah, but I think who's the fucking fault is it?
You know what I mean?
Like these idiots are out there.
I'll tell you man, this is really fucking dope.
I got this.
I got to tell the people at home.
Wait, I'm going to read this right now.
Okay.
Balloon Fest 1986.
Oh wow.
I just remembered this.
1996 event in Cleveland, Ohio.
1986 or...
86, sorry, 86.
A world record...
Get your shit straight.
Shut the fuck up bitch.
Dude, fucking man.
A world record by releasing almost 1.5 million balloons.
Oh my god.
The event took place on September 27th, 1986 and was intended to be a harmless fundraising
publicity stunt, but the balloons drifted back over the city Lake Erie and landed in
the surrounding area causing problems for traffic and a nearby airport.
Wow.
Well, a million and something balloons is a hell of a lot of fucking rubbish.
The event also interfered with the United States Coast Guard search for two boaters
who were later found drowned.
So a balloon fest killed two people inadvertently.
Oh my god.
Isn't that amazing?
I can't believe I just remembered this man.
That is fucking crazy.
Dude, they fucking...
What do you call it?
Wow, that's really it.
Sometimes, you know, motherfuckers gotta die though.
Isn't it funny though?
Do balloon fest 86 killed two boaters inadvertently?
It's amazing.
I almost killed two boaters once.
Look at...
When someone let me operate their boat and shit, holy fuck.
It didn't look like that when we did it at school, man.
Dude, does a million fucking balloons...
That is fucking crazy looking, man.
Imagine the environmental impact on that.
It looks like Skittles in the fucking sky.
That shit's hilarious.
Dude, they didn't give a fuck in the 80s.
They didn't kill two humans.
You know how many birds and fucking fish and everything else got killed?
Dude, it stopped the airport from flying, dumbass motherfuckers.
Who the fuck okayed that shit?
And how do you blow up...
Dude, man, how long do you think it takes to blow up 1.5 balloons?
Well, I mean, the way you blow, I'm sure you get it done in a week.
I get that done in a week, two days.
Aw, man, Larry.
Start renting you out.
But the 80s rocked.
Remember people fucking...
They got pissed when they started it.
Fuck you, I graduated high school in 1985, man.
I didn't ask you that's okay.
I know the 80s more than you were a little fucking kid.
You want to fight over the 80s, you bitch.
You old fucking, me-cast-hit bitch.
Just push you down.
But the fucking...
What do you call it?
You could do whatever you wanted.
Remember when they got pissed off about drinking and driving?
Yeah, those assholes.
What do you mean those assholes?
Just can't let you be.
There's actually like video of people going on the street being like,
what do you think about them starting to implement drinking and driving laws?
And guys are drinking in their car.
They're like, that's bullshit.
There's a kid in the car, he's got a beer.
Hand me another beer, Johnny.
Yeah, they got a cooler in between them.
I've ridden with the many of fucking older...
I don't know, I don't want to tell you.
A lot of older men that you can talk about.
Yeah, I didn't know how to say that.
I know what it was.
I've taken rides from older men with coolers in their car.
And then what happened?
Well, I don't remember.
I mean, then they put this rag over my face.
And the next thing I know is that church.
Yeah, okay.
Bless you, my son.
Yeah, that's what they did, let me tell you.
Did that out when at choir practice?
No, I wasn't a choir boy.
Alter boy school?
Alter boy, no.
No, you know what though?
There was a freak at our school.
Who fucked the priest?
No, I think it went the other way.
I mean, you gotta be a real pervert.
You gotta be a real pervert to go fuck priests
when you're in like sixth or seventh grade.
Oh my god, imagine, holy shit man,
they promote you to cardinal.
Oh, you're the initiator.
Dude, they promote you to cardinal if you did that.
They're like, this boy wants to fuck all you priests.
You're hired.
Yeah, you're hired.
You're the boss.
But what'd you say now?
No, there was a guy that was a creep around
where we went to parochial school.
Parochial school?
No, I think you're saying that backwards, man.
It's Catholic school, parochial school.
Parochial?
Mm-hmm.
It's Catholic school.
But yeah, there was a guy.
I should've didn't go to remedial school.
It doesn't make any sense, Larry.
I mean, that statement right there just dumbed us both down.
Let me tell you.
Whatever.
He's acting like he doesn't know.
So, no, but there was a guy that,
um, my mom had a bad feeling about.
She said, don't let that weirdo touch you.
No, she would come with us back because they wanted us to go,
which is a weird name, they wanted us to go back in the rectory.
Yeah, rectum.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's really close to rectum.
Rectum, damn.
Bang, I'm really rectum.
Stupid.
Some fucking thing, buddy.
But, yeah, he wanted to, he would try to take us to the rectory.
Father rectory.
Yeah, I don't, man.
Let me tell you.
Fuck, I wish I had a good punch from that one.
Father rectum re.
Rectum three.
Um.
Rect all those little kids.
There you go.
Let's just come out and say it.
He raped.
He was wrecking.
Allegedly.
Yeah.
So, I don't know who this guy, you know what I mean?
But my mom got a bad feeling.
She had like a premonition about this guy.
And she told me about it.
I remember.
And the guy got shipped off to Boston.
To rape little kids and fucking.
Oh, oh, oh.
Rape a little kids to Boston.
Oh, my God.
Fucking doctor.
I mean, father, rape her.
Doctor.
Doctor, father, fucking priest, rape her.
Jesus, man.
It's a long name.
I don't think you can fit that on a business card.
I don't think you get hired as a priest anywhere with that name.
Whenever I fucking see a priest, I never call him father or nothing.
He's not my fucking father.
Yeah.
No, I say, hey dude, what's up?
I don't fucking, I don't give him, I don't give him any, any like extra different respect
that I would give any other fucking person.
Cause you're a dirt bag.
I mean, you talk about, you yell at me about me going to hell.
And you're just disrespecting these people.
It's just a priest, man.
That your dude, that your dude Jesus sent down here and these are fucking represent.
Jesus sent them down, man.
These are representatives.
They've given their life up for God.
Well, they gave their life up to hide in the priesthood to molest their little kids, man.
I don't think that happens as much anymore, man.
I know.
I think it's all been weeded out.
You think so?
I don't think it's all been weeded out.
I mean, maybe if you go to like some third world country.
Well, now with the new pedophile regime in the fucking White House, it's okay to have such a little bit of sex.
You know, when we could do background checks and you can do all that type of shit.
They don't do that anymore though.
All you gotta do is say like,
What do you mean they don't do background checks?
You just tell them I'm gay and, oh, okay.
Then go right ahead.
Clip it.
Go right ahead, sir.
You're hired.
You don't put that on a sound board.
Here, you'll be in charge of, I don't know.
What?
Washing the boys.
Yeah.
I didn't know this was a job.
This is the greatest church ever.
Bathing little fucking kids.
I don't know what the fucking job would be.
What do they do?
I don't know.
Take care of kids.
Obviously not bathing little kids though.
I think that's the first job from the truth.
Well, you said it.
I didn't know.
And then you said that sounded like a great job.
I mean,
That's what you were telling me before we started.
What's that?
You wanted to get a job bathing little kids.
That is complete.
That is false.
I'm just going to get like an AI voice at you.
I just say the worst shit.
How do you know if people at home might already think this is AI voice?
I know.
Look at you.
You might be fucking making me say this shit.
A robot can't do as many drugs as you do.
Let me tell you, with all the ass sex that it has, it's probably breaking apart.
Poor robot's got a busted hip.
Oh man.
That's funny though.
Would you bang a robot?
No.
How about a real doll?
Have you ever seen a real doll?
Well, you might as well just bang a robot then.
If you were going to bang a doll.
No, but the real dolls like actually moves and shit talks.
Dude, now that's creepy.
I don't know.
It doesn't kind of crawl away.
Run.
That's the only two settings it has.
You're a real creep.
Run.
You want your real doll to run away from you and catch it.
You're gonna fucking lasso.
You can do a lot of shit.
But no, I don't think, I think they have like Bluetooth shit where you can make them talk.
They have like a voice box set in.
I don't know man.
They had some, they showed some robots on TV or some fucking show I was watching maybe.
About what?
No, they were just showing some robots and they really looked fucking realistic.
If you were gonna fuck a robot, would you want it to look regular or would you want it to just have like the white plastic plain look to it?
Still looking just like.
First of all, I don't understand how that would work because if they have like a metal exoskeleton.
They have a probably metal pussy too.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about man.
You know, I don't, I mean, I don't.
Kind of uncomfortable.
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
I don't want my dick rubbing up some fucking gear.
Maybe they would like fucking install like a fucking pocket pussy into the fucking thing.
They got an attachment.
Yeah.
You gotta get your Allen keys out.
You got a pussy in the backyard, hose in the dowel.
You got a pussy on the clothesline.
Scrubbing it down.
Wash it.
You got like four of them.
There was like one with a little landing strip on it and another one's balls.
That one's got a heart.
The other one says Larry in like a tan line.
Or you probably prefer a Playboy Bonnie.
Just out there washing them, letting them air dry.
But that's like a, one of the, like the real dolls, like you gotta wash that shit out dude.
Like you gotta be, imagine the shame in that.
You gotta wash out your fucking.
Well, I imagine if that, if you're fucking one of those dolls, you don't have much shame.
Yeah, I mean, fuck dude.
How the fuck do they deliver that thing?
Is it just like come out of a palette?
I mean, what do you tell your kids if they find it and shit?
First of all, I doubt these guys have kids.
I mean, let's be serious Larry.
Yeah, I guess not.
I mean, you didn't really think that one through.
No, I didn't.
Hey kids, here's your new mom.
But they do have like, they're your new mom.
She's your new stepmom.
Hi, he's just like waving the heart.
He's like, being daisy are going to go take a shower.
He throws her over her shoulder.
They climb it up the stairs with her.
You're a new stepmom, Johnny.
She's talking and shit.
Oh my God, just wailing away on that thing.
Dude, it's like a dead body.
You know, it's got to be some real sicko to do that.
Oh my God.
But like I said, imagine you have to fist it to clean it properly.
So I mean, that's the shame.
You gotta have like a fucking rag in your hand.
Yeah, like just duct tape a rag in your hand to just fist the shit out of it.
And then you probably have, man, I don't know, the cleanliness in that thing doesn't sound so good.
And then where do you store it?
Like you put in the closet.
You had to treat it like a real long.
Oh, I would love to scare you with it.
I totally scare the shit out of you with it.
You open the door of the real doll pops out.
I made a dummy one time out of a fucking hair cutting head and like a microphone stand
and I made it body and I used to have it at my back door and I knew it was there.
And I'd come home fucked up at night and go turn, you know, go around the corner.
And I'd go, fuck man, it was scaring me every fucking time.
It was fucking freaky looking, man.
Why didn't you move it?
Because it was to scare other people.
Yeah, but you scared yourself then.
I know.
But it looked like Charles Manson because it was the hair cutting dummy before it had any hair cut off of it.
So it had a long beard and long hair.
Oh, the one in the garage.
Yeah, the mannequin head.
The fucking dummy set off.
Yeah, the mannequin head.
Yeah, it was fucking scary, man.
At night time it would get me.
Well, you got that stupid fucking puppet.
Oh my God, you're like fucking bubbles.
Stupid idiot.
I know my puppet.
If anyone knows, Larry has a fucking puppet.
Groucho.
And he actually...
Groucho Marx.
He, once we start getting some listeners and shit together, we'll figure out and put some pictures up.
But he would take it shopping with his dad to go buy clothes and he would put it in his shopping cart.
Like a target.
And walk around with his dad, Big Joe, with his...
And the guy's got a hole in his head.
Yeah.
You could fit your fist inside his head.
Kind of like Konki.
Just like bubbles.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Bubbles.
You're the American bubbles.
Oh, shit.
Fucking funny as hell.
So, but Larry dresses him up in outfits.
What do you mean funny as people are like...
A lot of people don't even notice.
A few people look at you like you're fucking crazy.
What do you mean people don't notice?
A lot of people just...
Oh, yeah.
Look at this fucking crazy person with the towel in his face.
Look at this guy that's having sex with this weirdo with the puppet.
That's what it looks like.
These guys are definitely on fucking Tina.
Oh, man.
Dude, shopping for doll clothes?
Fucking hey, Larry.
What do you suggest your poor father to?
I would go to the fucking...
Well, here's the thing, man.
What's that, Larry?
He looks good when you change his clothes and fucking, you know, he gets him pictures.
Put a hat on him?
He gets in a lot of different pictures and I want him to always fucking look the same and shit.
Yeah, I would fucking pass out on the couch and that son of a bitch would be on the couch
and I'd have to go throw him in the closet somewhere.
It's freaky.
You think?
Yeah.
I don't want to be sleeping next to that fucking thing.
That thing comes alive, dude.
The last thing you do is...
Did you ever see that movie?
I think it was like the middle 70s.
It scared the shit out of me when I was a kid.
It was called Magic.
I've heard of it.
It was this guy.
He was a ventriloquist, you know?
A ventriloquist or a ventriloquist.
Whatever.
Fuck you.
I can arrange that if you want, Larry.
I'll kick you in the balls and my mouth won't move at all.
How about that?
How much does that cost?
So many.
Now we're negotiating.
Fuckin'.
You drive a hard bargain, Larry.
You were nuts, though.
You know, the fucking...
In his head, he thought the dummy...
Maybe it was, I can't remember, was like, hey man, let me out of this fucking box.
Wait, the thing was talking without him throwing his voice?
Yeah, it was starting to talk to him.
Fuck that.
No, dude.
Let me out of this case and stuff him in there.
I don't like this.
Let me out.
No, I don't like this.
The case and the thing would be like, ah, thanks a lot.
You fucking jatter.
What do you mean?
You fucking need to let him out?
Yeah.
Did he try to kill him?
Well...
Or did he try to have sex with this girl?
Well, it was more like...
He would get the guy to do bad things.
Like what?
I like how you giggled with it.
What did you just say?
Kill people and shit, you know.
A puppet would fucking make a man kill people?
Yeah, he thought...
He was kind of like Son of Sam, where he thought the dog was talking to him.
This guy thought the puppet was talking to him.
But did he go to the puppet?
Huh?
Did he go everywhere with the puppet?
Everywhere.
So like the puppet would see shotgun...
Everywhere.
Dude, he was on tour, like a fucking band.
Except he was a fucking comedian, ventriloquist guy.
And so he would go from town to town.
Was he good?
Yeah, he was going nuts though, eventually.
Well, yeah, he was so good.
He was so good that actually you didn't know.
Is the puppet actually talking?
Or is he controlling it?
You didn't know.
Some twilight zone shit, dude.
Yeah, it was a fucked up movie.
You know, I was scared when I was scared.
I want to watch that shit.
That sounds good.
I was more afraid of ghoulies.
Remember ghoulies?
Ghoulies.
With the little things that would come out of the toilet?
No.
They were like these little monsters, man.
Oh, man, they scared the shit out of me.
I don't remember ghoulies.
Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna fucking 80s movies,
because you know, old school weird shit.
Yeah, so magic, they got the little puppets.
Oh, yeah, I don't like fucking the puppets, dude.
Dude, let me out of this fucking box.
Let me out of this suitcase, man.
Why you put me in here like this?
And he lets him out.
I thought we were friends and stuff.
And his voice, you know, is muffled.
It's coming muffled from inside.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He goes fucked up.
Oh, dummy.
It was so fucked up.
And then, so boys.
I don't remember the, it was very long ago.
I was, to, for it to scare me, I was a little kid.
There had to be some titties in it, too.
I don't remember.
I was a little kid.
Okay, well, it's a watcher.
It was a dark, I remember the scenes were a lot of dark.
It might have been a 70s movie, I should.
It was a dark, like a lot of scenes where it was in a hotel room
where it was dark and that lit up and shit.
Okay, keep on, what do you mean by, oh, like the whole scene?
The scenery was dark.
Yeah.
It was a brown background, dark shadows.
Everything was not lit up all the time.
You know, almost like one of those noir movies, except it was in color, you know.
Okay.
It was pretty fucking great.
Dude, Anthony Hopkins was the guy.
For magic?
Yeah.
Wow.
Failed magician, dopped into a fucking ventriloquist act with Brace of Dummy named FAT, like that.
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
He was like an evil fucking Howdy Doody, the dummy.
He was a scary looking fucker.
Yeah.
And it was one of those ones where his eyes moved, all kinds of detail to it, you know.
But he was wooden.
It was an old school fucking dummy.
Dude, Ann Margaret was in it, Burgess Meredith.
Yeah, I told you it was an old motherfucking movie.
Oh shit, dude.
What year?
1978.
Okay.
Is that bad though?
So I was like, you know.
Oh man, that thing looks fucking, dude, man, fuck that shit.
I was probably 11 years old, 10, you know, 11, 12 years old.
Yeah, I don't, man.
I don't trust magicians.
No, and this was a fucked up movie.
He was a failed, you see, he was a failed magician.
Yeah, I mean, how do you become a failed movie?
So he was hitting the bottom of the shit.
Sorrow somebody in half.
Yeah.
And they really died.
Doves are like coming dead out of your pocket.
I like shit like that.
That's a great magician actually.
Yeah.
He throws the dove up and just falls to the ground.
But so you know, he had a drinking problem and shit.
Oh, a magician doesn't.
Right.
What about, remember that, what's that guy's a fantastic, man, the amazing Jonathan?
No.
Yeah, I wish I knew more about it, but this guy was like a magician.
He's a magician?
They did like a documentary on him and he's like smoking meth.
I heard the name, amazing Jonathan.
I didn't know anything about him at all though.
Yeah, he had the cancer or something.
I'm paraphrasing and chopping it up, but.
That's cool.
But he was like smoking meth during the.
The farmants?
No, no, no, during the documentary being made about him.
And he had like two documentary crews doing them at the same time.
Like the guy was a fucking scammer.
He knew what he was doing.
Wow.
Yeah.
Magicians are sneaky.
Well, yeah, that's why they're fucking magicians.
Well, I mean, you're just not born a magician.
You have to study the dark arts.
They gravitate towards that fucking job though.
It's like the government.
Hey, look over here.
Look over here.
Stormy Daniels.
Oh yeah.
Over here.
What the fuck is up with you and Stormy Daniels tonight?
Well, no, I'm just saying any given fucking fake shit to make you look or distract you
to distract you from the real problem that's going on.
You look at Teli Savales and everybody looks.
Yeah.
And then something else real bad happens.
Over there.
912.
Exactly.
And then we get 912.
You gotta watch out.
All of a sudden the Twin Towers go back up magically.
This fucking guy running their bodega.
You know what I mean?
And then I don't know what it's going to be next.
Or they say a bodega.
A what?
Jill Biden was calling a bodega.
A bodega?
What's that?
Bodega.
Or she called it a bogadah.
Dude, we just watched something.
Fucking flipped the letter.
You know what was crazy?
You know what I was watching this thing last night with me and they were talking, Kamala
Harris was talking about how people now with good credit scores are going to get fucked
because of people with lower credit scores are going to be able to get better loans.
But I was telling you on the last night's podcast and you're going, what the fuck are
you talking about?
Yeah, but I wasn't feeling good last night.
I got sick.
So now you understand what I was trying to tell you.
Okay, yeah, but Mary and I watched it.
I watched it in person.
What do you think of that, man?
You think it's fair?
I think that it's difficult because anything that we do right now is racist.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like remember that guy said the roads are racist?
Yeah.
And then they were talking about the guys who do the housing appraisals that they're racist,
but they, black people don't want these jobs.
And it's like she's standing behind a pulpit or not a pulpit, but there's podium, the
podium.
There we go.
Thank you.
Pulpit's for a priest, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
So podium and what do you call it?
America's race, the housing appraisals are racist.
I mean, you could just attack anything with racism, right?
They do.
They really do.
It's fucking weird.
What we should do is the next time we try to price them, we should be like, hey, you're
being racist and maybe we can get it for cheaper.
You think that'll work?
These prices are.
We're going to go buy alcohol and they're racist.
These prices are fucking racist.
We should try to get Al Sharpton on the pot.
Oh man, that'd be great.
It would be hilarious.
You know that Jesse Jackson.
I think he's local.
He'd get along with you.
Yeah, Jesse's old, man.
So was Sharpton, but Jesse looks bad.
I think the last time.
He's in his 80s, right?
He's got a few.
I think I saw a picture of him recently.
He was in a wheelchair if I'm not mistaken.
Yeah, he was fucked up looking man.
That's what they do, man.
It's all the ruse.
It's all the ruse, Larry.
Remember when Mike Brady was in court and he threw the briefcase and yeah, I love you,
Larry.
Yeah, but he got that one, baby.
And the motherfucking turnaround.
Yeah, he's a...
You ain't hurt.
Turn around.
Get up.
You ain't hurt.
No, and Mike Brady just dropped the mic and walked out.
Mike Brady did his fucking first mic drop.
And then he got eats and died.
Yeah.
He was a fun hook.
He fucked one of the cameramen and died.
I don't know, but there was like a lot of shady shit going on in that show.
Old school TV shows, man.
Well, I would like to be an actor on that show as a young boy.
Everyone got to fuck Florence Henderson and she was good looking, man.
She was very good looking.
She had that mom thing.
She was a milf.
Oh, the first milf.
But she was young though.
She was like 30.
She was the first milf.
Yeah, I think Florence Henderson might have been the first milf.
The very first milf.
There were other ones though.
Well, I know, but the first milf for us.
Like the first...
I'm trying to think of other ones.
I mean, there's other ones that come to mind.
But the very first milf, Carol Brady.
Love, Yanni.
RIP Carol.
Is she still alive?
She might be dead.
Okay.
RIP Carol Brady or Florence Henderson.
She's not.
I still do her.
Remember when Sam the butcher bring in Alice the meat?
Yeah, yeah.
Fuck it.
They would, he would, well no, he would always, they would always do like sexual stuff, like
innuendos and stuff.
Like cause Sam was a butcher, obviously.
Yeah, yeah.
And they would always think, oh, I'm gonna bring the meat later and he would like grab
an honor.
You don't remember the fucking clue.
I don't remember them grabbing honor, but...
Yeah, they were, I was a butcher, man.
He was a horn dog.
He would eat all day.
Being a man.
Yeah, I like that Alice had like a little back fucking room.
Alice, that's it, yeah.
Yeah, Alice had that little back room to fucking live in, like in the Brady house.
Man.
It was crazy.
It sounds cool.
I believe your bedroom will be here next to the laundry room.
Man, where else would the ladies' bedroom be?
Oh man, you're fucking asshole, man.
You know?
I mean, what happens when your dishwasher breaks?
What happens when your dishwasher breaks, Larry?
You slap her and tell her to get back to work.
Oh, and I'm the bad one.
See, he can't resist saying that.
It's like, what was it from?
No, how Saxes would say, hey, no, you said it wrong though.
You gotta say when your dishwasher breaks down.
Oh.
Yeah, I mean, I'm not abusing her also at the same time.
Breaks down.
It's very important to detail.
It's verbally insulting her.
That's all right though, when your dishwasher breaks down.
Very silly, Larry.
Oh, fuck yeah.
So remember to like, follow, subscribe, Larry Needles lowercase at yahoo.com.
Yeah, and I gotta say, man.
Your fucking t-shirts look dope as shit.
It's the prescription pad logo and it's fucking awesome.
We got gray, we got white.
Everything's in house.
Needles got shirt number one.
I took shirt number two.
I appreciate it.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
I don't know how us two idiots did it, but it's very funny, right?
We heated up that fucking press, man, and we pressed away.
That's how we did it.
So prolific.
Listen to you.
God, it's like a haiku.
Yeah, fuck off.
So then this is how we did it.
Fuck you.
What?
Needles.
Haiku.
I didn't know now you're starting a little rap game too.
Mm-hmm.
All right, well, let's get under there then.
All right?
Good ending.
All right.
All right, man.
Thanks for tuning in.
Like, subscribe, follow.
Yeah.
Leave a review.
Apple.
Do that.
E-mail us at the Larry and Needles show, all small letters, of course, at yahoo.com if
you want to interact with us in any way, shape, or form.
Send your ladies' chonies back.
Preferably dirty.
Yeah.
All right.
You can get some bonus stuff for that.
Peace.
I'm Needles.
I'm Larry.
I almost thought you were tricking me again.
I know.
Gunshot.
All right.