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Time to get ready for the Larry Needles Show.

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So how often you guys do this?

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As much as we want.

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Alright, welcome to Larry Needles Show. I'm Larry.

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I'm Needles.

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We got a special guest today, Frank.

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How you doing, Frank?

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Doing good, man.

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Frank is a friend of ours.

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He's known Mary for a long time, right?

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Yeah, if I didn't know Mary, I wouldn't know you.

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Larry, you're Joe.

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Oh man, I feel sorry for you.

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I apologize.

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So, oh, so we got a new website.

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Yes.

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It's all, it's lowercase, the Larry and Needles Show.

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At Yahoo.

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At Yahoo.com.

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Like we said, we do all of our shit in-house.

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So, first 10 listeners...

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And we don't know what we're doing in fucking.

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It's really amazing that we actually were able to get a fucking website going today.

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I mean, an email thing.

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Yeah, well, I mean, people are laughing at their scoffing at us right now.

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I know.

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At the same time. So, the first 10 people we get with their addresses will send you a T-shirt.

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We make them in-house, send us your size, send us your address.

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And then, you know...

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And you get a free Larry and Needles Show.

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The wife's dirty shoes on the way back.

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Yeah, if you send us some of your wife's dirty underwear, we can inscribe those too.

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We'll hang them up on the wall.

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Exactly. We'll display them.

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So, we're going to try to add a video aspect.

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Yeah, so, the Larry and Needles Show all lowercase at Yahoo.com.

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Like, subscribe, tell your friends.

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You know, hopefully we're like...

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We'll spread like wildfire.

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Yeah.

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We're not in it for the money, are we, Larry?

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No, we're not.

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Just for the fame.

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I've been doing shit like this for my whole life.

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And I, you know, I made just enough money to be a dirtbag.

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You're a sugar baby.

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Yeah, whatever.

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What do you mean, whatever? That's the truth.

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Hey, how about these fucking kids in Chicago, the cops are already bracing for this weekend,

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for what they did last fucking weekend.

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Yeah, because they're on social media.

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They're flipping the fuck out, yeah.

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You know about that, Frank, right?

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Yeah.

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You know about the kids running rampant downtown?

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Okay, Larry, so what are you talking about?

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They're just gearing up for a weekend.

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Closer to Frank's face.

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It was just, yeah, it was just that the police recently...

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Police and the residents and also the business owners, they're like, fuck, man.

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They're vamping up for everything?

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Yeah.

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They're freaking out.

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But nowadays it's kind of easy to see like these kids are doing stuff on social media,

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right?

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Yeah.

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They've got to be a way to figure out, somebody can infiltrate this, they're kids.

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You guys heard of, you ever hear of the Shake Shack?

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You know, it's like this fucking, like, I kind of like a McDonald's or something.

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It's like the higher level McDonald's.

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It's like the higher level McDonald's.

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Step up.

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They were going to have one open in Portland, you know, and Monday was going to be the grand

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opening, and the mayor was going to cut the fucking ribbon and everything.

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And somebody already fucking broke the windows and vandalized the fuck out of the place,

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and they're not going to be able to open.

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What do you mean?

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They got to postpone the fucking opening.

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So somebody didn't get there in the morning and realize that they didn't get the decision?

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Dude, kids are, people fucking vandalized the joint.

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Okay, and?

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It's going to open Monday.

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Fucking...

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So they wanted to do a ribbon cutting?

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No, they didn't go to do the ribbon cutting.

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They were going to have all that big ceremony, but they're not going to bother doing it anymore.

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Because they fucking wrecked the place over there.

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People vandalized shit, man.

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Yeah.

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It didn't even open yet though.

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So you don't care.

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Fuck you, man.

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I can arrange for that.

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Needles is a fucking asshole.

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Larry coming out.

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Fucking jack off.

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All right, well, keep going.

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Larry, entertain me.

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I entertain you, okay.

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You entertain me.

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How about Life Foot is fucking complaining now.

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Oh, man.

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About the soft-eyed crying prosecutors.

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Yeah.

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Now that she's leaving office, she's saying, people...

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This is why this is so bad.

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You know, she said Democrats need to wake up and admit that they have a crime problem.

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Is it just that?

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Now that she's leaving.

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Yeah.

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Now that she knows she'll never fucking be back in the machine.

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You fucking say like he...

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Yeah.

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Isn't that funny?

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Isn't that funny?

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Yeah.

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Fucking contuffa...

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Fucking bitch.

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Well, it's just the fucking ferocity that...

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Same thing is going on though with Adams in New York City.

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He's also fucking saying what the fuck to these prosecutors.

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And he's not going anywhere.

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The problem is, is that if you're going to be soft on crime, what's going to happen?

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Crime's going to increase.

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If there's no repercussions for your actions, you're just going to keep on doing it, right?

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Yeah.

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You can't...

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Like they were saying that these...

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Now people are afraid because of these rights.

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Now street that they're going to be racially profiled.

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Right, right.

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And it's okay.

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And I completely understand that.

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But if you're looking out to do trouble...

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It doesn't matter what fucking color you are.

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You got six guys with masks on.

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You know, just walking around downtown.

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You know, nobody else has got masks on.

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Hey, I got some questions for Frank.

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By the way, Frank is a pizza delivery guy around the neighborhood and shit.

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Whoa.

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Hey.

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I identify as a conspiracy theorist.

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Oh, really?

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And my three pronouns are future fact, spoiler alert, and I told you so.

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Nice.

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All right.

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Any scenarios happen when you get to the place and the lady can't pay for the pizza?

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Like the porno movie or anything?

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No.

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I don't want to talk about stuff like that.

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I don't really want to talk about the USSA either.

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Okay.

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Or maybe like religion, I know you guys.

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Oh, no.

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We'll have fun with religion.

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Those are opinions.

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We feel like about...

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Okay Larry, come on.

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Keep going.

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No, well shit, man.

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Why do you think it's so funny that they're making little kids work in those factories

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and stuff?

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It's not funny at all.

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You were laughing about it before.

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It's not funny.

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It's funny.

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You were telling me.

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Well, I was telling you, they debunked that story about the kid working in the slaughterhouse.

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It was actually a 21 year old Hispanic male, which is very funny.

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I mean, anybody will fucking bite on anything nowadays, right?

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Oh my God, look at this child.

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Nobody fact check anything?

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No, I know.

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The news cycle rotates so quickly that unless it's a really big story, you might be on a

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day or two.

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Yeah.

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You gotta murder your kids or school shooting or something like that.

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Yeah.

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You know what's funny though?

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It's not funny, but you know what's fucking sickening is?

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What's like, you hear about a shooting at a school and you're like, oh, they only killed

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three people.

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It's like if it's not...

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That's crazy.

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You know?

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We're so fucking jaded and so damn down.

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Well, we're just inundated with all of this fucking infirm...

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You know, there's always something with...

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It's good versus evil.

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What's that?

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It's good versus evil.

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Yeah.

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It's always been good versus evil, but now everything's...

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It's not even...

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Some things aren't even like left versus right.

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No.

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Things are just right and wrong.

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Yeah.

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That's it.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Everybody's thing is a skew now.

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It's never been more prominent than now though.

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Well, it's like I want to belong to the party that's common sense and truth.

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Yeah.

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Too bad there's not one.

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Let's start one.

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Yeah, it'd be nice.

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I mean, but it's hard to get the...

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That needs to follow up.

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Yeah.

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We're in some scary times, man.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I mean, it's going to get worse before it gets better.

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Definitely.

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I mean, there's a trend going on right now with...

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I mean, the way the gas is, the way the groceries are, people can't fucking afford to feed their

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families.

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I mean, something's got to swing.

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The pendulum has got to fucking...

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It's not only that, man.

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The school system is fucked.

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I was watching this thing on TV today, man, and they said, literacy nationwide is just

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fucking plummeting.

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They got these new methods to teach the kids...

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The scoring system.

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Yeah.

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Well, no, not a scoring system, but these new methods to teach the kids and it just isn't

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working.

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It's not the old school way.

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I don't know what...

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They didn't get into the actual process of it.

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You automatically pass.

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That too.

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And that's one of the problems.

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This is exactly it.

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They said 87% of the kids graduate and only 30% of them can fucking read.

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Come on, though.

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That's grade level.

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Well...

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Yeah.

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No, listen, man, third graders, 27% can read at grade level.

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Fourth graders, 33%.

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30% fifth graders.

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Where was this?

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I don't know.

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It's...

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No, these are the statistics that they fucking...

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Yeah, I know, but I understand.

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The education system gathers up and they just push them fucking right through, man.

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They can't read.

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They can't fucking matter.

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I mean, look at my vocabulary.

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It's horrible and I can fucking read.

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The caveman.

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You know, it's gonna be bad.

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We're in some fucking crazy shit.

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In all the other countries, they're just gonna fucking surpass like a motherfucker because

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they're already laughing at us.

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Yeah, we're laughing stuck.

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We got no skills, though, and it's gonna get fucking worse.

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It's tough to be a superpower when fucking draw everybody weak.

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You know what I mean?

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Like, we're so worried about pronouns and gender and all this agenda that people keep

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on pushing on us.

268
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,560
It doesn't matter if you're a Republican or a Democrat.

269
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:37,400
The stupidity of both levels that's going on right now, like just two idiots bumping

270
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,400
their heads like nothing's gonna get done.

271
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,080
Everyone's like, oh, Biden's an idiot.

272
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,280
Okay, we have video proof of that.

273
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,360
The guy who's not in his right mind.

274
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,320
But this fucking guy is just a patty.

275
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,760
You know what I mean?

276
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:51,760
He's a puppet.

277
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:52,760
He doesn't do much.

278
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:53,760
I mean, look at him.

279
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,280
I just wonder whose hand is actually up his ass working him.

280
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,280
That's the part.

281
00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,160
Who is actually calling the shots?

282
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,280
What do you mean, who's calling the shots?

283
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:03,560
I just wonder who they are.

284
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,760
I wonder who those fucking few people are.

285
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:06,760
The guy's almost senile.

286
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:07,760
No, I know.

287
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:11,160
I wonder who the fuck is the ones in charge.

288
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,960
You know what I mean?

289
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,600
If you asked all these people, like, do you trust this guy?

290
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,760
Do you trust you don't even know, like, do you, there's nothing?

291
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,480
I'm sure nobody would.

292
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,160
Well, it's your job.

293
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,160
That's the thing.

294
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,160
Who the fuck wants to be president?

295
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,160
What a horrible job.

296
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,160
Yeah, it's fucked.

297
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,160
Yeah.

298
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,160
Larry Alder wants to be president.

299
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,160
Is that who he is, right, Frank?

300
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,160
I don't know who that is.

301
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,160
That's pretty cool.

302
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,920
Afro man's running for president.

303
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:36,920
Is he really?

304
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:37,920
Yeah.

305
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:38,920
I'll vote for Afro man.

306
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:39,920
Fuck.

307
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,920
It's a woman beater.

308
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:42,920
Huh?

309
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:43,920
Didn't he point to that?

310
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,120
No, she jumped on stage.

311
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,000
Yeah, and he fucking cocked her.

312
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,440
Yeah, she assaulted him.

313
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,440
She didn't assault him.

314
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,440
What if she had a knife on her?

315
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:52,440
Uh-uh.

316
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:53,440
What if she did?

317
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:54,440
Oh, oh, I see.

318
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:59,000
Dude, you gotta fucking, okay, so here, well, now, okay, you want to, wait, wait, wait,

319
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,160
I got something crazy for you.

320
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,160
Listen to this.

321
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,160
All right.

322
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,400
So this happened in Texas.

323
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,080
This is a crazy fucking story, man.

324
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:12,320
So the suspiring model, 22 years old, loses, Jesus man.

325
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,920
Did you hear that, man?

326
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,400
And she doesn't listen to this bullshit.

327
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,000
She loses all four of her limbs.

328
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,920
Oh, the picture you showed me?

329
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,480
After contracting Legionnaires' disease.

330
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:26,480
Oh.

331
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:30,040
From a mist machine at a concert.

332
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,280
Holy fuck.

333
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,800
Isn't that crazy?

334
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:34,880
Holy fuck.

335
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:39,200
So she fell into a coma for 16 days.

336
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,200
Wow.

337
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:46,440
She fucking wakes up, all of her limbs were black, and the blood wasn't circulating properly,

338
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,840
because what happened is they hooked her up to these machines, and it diverts your blood

339
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:53,000
flow to your organs rather than your extremities.

340
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,000
Keep you alive.

341
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,440
Yeah, well, yeah, because she was just fucking crushed in shit, man.

342
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:58,440
Fuck, dude.

343
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:03,800
Dude, so she fucking had both of her legs taken off below the knees.

344
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:04,800
God bless it.

345
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,800
What was the band?

346
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:06,800
I don't know.

347
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:07,800
They didn't say, man.

348
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:08,800
Ah, fuck.

349
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,000
What a lawsuit, though.

350
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,000
You know?

351
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,000
Yeah.

352
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,000
You got to lose all four limbs.

353
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000
I mean, I don't know how much that's going to happen.

354
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,160
That's what happened with Frank's first garage band.

355
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:21,600
Everyone caught Legionnaires' disease off the air conditioner.

356
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,640
So then fucking, what do you call it?

357
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,520
Then she had to have a right arm amputated.

358
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:27,520
Fuck, man.

359
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,920
Two weeks after the legs, and then the left arm below the elbow.

360
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:32,920
Damn.

361
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,800
Isn't that fucking crazy, dude?

362
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,840
The thing is that nobody else got it, though.

363
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,680
And she's a fucking supermodel.

364
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:39,680
She was.

365
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:41,920
I mean, no, she's somebody's kickball.

366
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:42,920
Fuck.

367
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,800
Well, remember that one chick you showed me the picture of her?

368
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,840
She was looking with her arms and legs.

369
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:48,840
Yeah.

370
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:49,840
Yeah.

371
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,360
I mean, amputees are called nuggets, amputee porn.

372
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:56,000
I told you about that one chick in Minneapolis with the missing leg, right?

373
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,000
No.

374
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,000
We were playing that show in Minneapolis.

375
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,800
Ah, man, I wanted to fuck her so bad.

376
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,400
But what happened?

377
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,880
She couldn't run away, obviously.

378
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:10,880
Nah, she turned me down politely and befriended me, and what she did, she was real nice.

379
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:15,320
She let me buy my own bottle of vodka at the liquor store.

380
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,800
I did her fucking prosthetic leg.

381
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,960
Nah, and she was giving it to me at the bar.

382
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:24,320
She said, I can't let you drink for free, really, and everyone see it, but I can fucking

383
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,120
pretend you're.

384
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:30,320
And so she was still cool to me, but, and we were the band, too, so she had to put up

385
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,320
with me.

386
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:32,320
Hey, right.

387
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,320
She was cute.

388
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,320
Check everything?

389
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,320
Is the timer's going?

390
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,320
Yeah.

391
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:37,320
All right.

392
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:38,320
Let's shift gears, though.

393
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,320
I want to hear.

394
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,320
Yeah, let's go for it.

395
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,320
Did you tell him about our DRI?

396
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,320
Pirates, yes.

397
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,320
Yeah, we talked about it, yeah.

398
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,320
About our experience.

399
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:46,320
Yeah, we talked about it.

400
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,320
Let's talk about it.

401
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,720
Looked in from your view.

402
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,080
Nice Saturday night, right?

403
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,080
Yeah.

404
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,880
DRI fucking, you know, shout out.

405
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:54,880
They're still fucking...

406
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:55,880
Great concert.

407
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:56,880
Oh, man, it was awesome.

408
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:57,880
Great sound.

409
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:58,880
40 years later, they're still mashing.

410
00:13:58,880 --> 00:13:59,880
Yes.

411
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:00,880
I pick up Joe.

412
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,600
It's a Saturday, like, I don't know, five o'clock.

413
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,160
Larry.

414
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:09,520
And we had downtown pregame a little.

415
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:12,600
A couple cold pops, you know, a couple little doobish.

416
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,080
Pregame in with Larry.

417
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:15,560
So then we get down there, right?

418
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:16,560
We're downtown.

419
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,560
Oh, I forgot.

420
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,600
I have no desire to go down there.

421
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:20,600
The Vic, right?

422
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:21,600
Wasn't it?

423
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,600
No, it was Reggie's.

424
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:23,600
Reggie's.

425
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:24,600
Cool place.

426
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,600
Great place.

427
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:26,840
Anyways, we get down there early, right?

428
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:27,840
Yeah.

429
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:29,360
Trying to find a place to park.

430
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,800
Camp park nowhere, right?

431
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:31,800
Right.

432
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:32,800
Find a spot.

433
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:33,800
Yeah.

434
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:34,800
Four blocks away.

435
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,080
And I'm like, fuck it, let's just go here.

436
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,160
Because it was kind of nice out.

437
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,160
Yeah.

438
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,160
First.

439
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,160
Four blocks ain't that bad.

440
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,160
I mean, shit.

441
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,160
City blocks.

442
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,160
Yeah, it's not.

443
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:46,160
So anyways, it's one of the fucking meters, right?

444
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:47,160
No.

445
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:48,160
Shit.

446
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:49,160
We got no fucking change.

447
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,160
Credit card.

448
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,160
No, whatever.

449
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,160
All I got is cash.

450
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:53,160
I don't know what he had.

451
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:54,160
So then we find this spot.

452
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,160
I already got to take it.

453
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,160
Right.

454
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,320
Like, I'm on the curb.

455
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,240
And then he goes to this bank, right?

456
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,240
There was a bank on the street.

457
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,240
We're like, it was like, go to your bank.

458
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,160
It was like a three hour limit.

459
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:07,080
We had to get like $50 and quarters.

460
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,080
Yeah.

461
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,080
Oh, shit.

462
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,080
And they're closed.

463
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,080
Right.

464
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,840
So he's on his way back, right?

465
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,160
And I see a cop coming with his four ways on.

466
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,160
So he's looking.

467
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,920
He's like three cars behind me.

468
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,120
So I'm like, fuck it, let's get out of here.

469
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,480
So then we just started coming around again.

470
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,480
We're super early.

471
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:24,480
Yeah.

472
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,720
All of a sudden I turned on this alley, right?

473
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,720
Tight as shit.

474
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,720
And I'm like, bro.

475
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:30,720
I said turn there.

476
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:31,720
I knew we were gonna have a play.

477
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,640
We had the overpass, like the L's.

478
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,240
And man, this fucking alley is like cars, double parked.

479
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,240
Oh, yeah.

480
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,240
It was as tight as it is.

481
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,640
You had to do like a three point turn.

482
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:40,640
So like.

483
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:41,640
And not only that.

484
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:45,440
So the listeners know Frank's got a big motherfucking truck.

485
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:46,440
But if the four.

486
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,720
So yeah, it's a big fucking thing.

487
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:49,720
America.

488
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:50,720
Not made for L's.

489
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,120
So we're like, and then all of a sudden I'm like, holy shit.

490
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,840
I'm like, we're at the fucking back door.

491
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:56,840
Sure.

492
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:57,840
We're at Reggie's.

493
00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:58,840
So I'm like, you guys want to do Larry's favorite hangout?

494
00:15:58,840 --> 00:15:59,840
All right, let's back in.

495
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:00,840
Yeah.

496
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,800
We back in, we grab a spot.

497
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:03,800
The back door.

498
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:07,640
And we're sitting there and I'm like, hey, right.

499
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:08,640
I'm like, what do you think?

500
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:09,640
I'm like, score.

501
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:10,640
Titsamiggy.

502
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:11,640
Well, here's the funniest thing.

503
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:12,640
So now we're sitting there.

504
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,640
Here's the thing.

505
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,400
I said to Frank, I go, this is cool.

506
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,480
And he was like only one beer in.

507
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,480
He's like, I don't know.

508
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,680
I'm scared because there's no, you know, towed, pros.

509
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:26,280
No, we looked right in front of us.

510
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,360
It said tow like two hundred and sixteen bucks or something.

511
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:31,360
All that shit.

512
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:32,360
Yeah.

513
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,960
I look at him and I go later Frank.

514
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,560
It's like, let's roll the dice.

515
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,880
I'm feeling like I'm like, I'm like, I'm doing.

516
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,680
He goes, I go, you know what?

517
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,240
I'm not going to fucking drive around anymore.

518
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:44,240
Yeah.

519
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,240
We got a good spot.

520
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:48,880
You got to like, you got to look like you belong there.

521
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,640
Like we've seen the employees coming out.

522
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,160
If we wouldn't went up to him and be like, Hey, is it cool?

523
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,040
They probably would told us to beat it.

524
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,160
Then we might have shut off us.

525
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,640
And I'm like, we were like way early.

526
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,080
So I'm like, we were just party and drinking beer.

527
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,080
Fuck it.

528
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:07,160
When the cops did come back and then yeah, we got the windows down and we're rocking

529
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,160
out.

530
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:14,400
He's got the fucking under cover cop combs and he's got like six, seven empty fucking

531
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,400
gear.

532
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,200
Right in front of my fucking with me.

533
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,360
Dude, I go, I put the windows up.

534
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,480
I'm like, Oh, what do we do?

535
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,640
And he goes, dude, I got a good vibe, man.

536
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,960
He's not, he's not going to bust us.

537
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,160
Remember he snuck by that wall.

538
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,160
Yeah.

539
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,160
And he went in that lot of cars.

540
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,160
Oh, it was so tight.

541
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,160
It was driving, driving.

542
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,160
Driving.

543
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,160
He got out of the car.

544
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,680
He almost hit the front of my truck.

545
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:38,680
There's nothing.

546
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,680
He had to back up and then he went.

547
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,400
I'm the worst one to cop behind you, man.

548
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:43,400
And you're doing so.

549
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,400
We're sitting there.

550
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,400
I'm like, I'm going.

551
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:46,400
I'm going.

552
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,400
I'm going.

553
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,400
We can't get out of the car.

554
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,400
You nuts.

555
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,400
We got to roll the windows up.

556
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,400
We're sitting there.

557
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,400
Yeah.

558
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,400
Right.

559
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,400
So then we're like, black star.

560
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,400
We're VIP.

561
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,000
I jumped out and threw the shit in the garbage.

562
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,200
I said, I'm not scared.

563
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,200
Yeah.

564
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,200
There was a fucking dumpster five feet away.

565
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,200
It was.

566
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,200
Yeah.

567
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,200
But the sign said tow.

568
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,200
Yeah.

569
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,200
And then I go like this to him.

570
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,200
I go, man, fuck it.

571
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,200
I'm rolling the bones, dude.

572
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:10,200
I don't think we're going to get.

573
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,200
He goes like this.

574
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,200
I go, how are we going to get home?

575
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,200
He goes, Mary.

576
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:14,200
Then I listen to your episodes.

577
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,200
I'm thinking, oh my God.

578
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,200
It would have took us a day to get home.

579
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,200
You guys just saved her a hitchhike.

580
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,200
I was willing to pay the 200 bucks.

581
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,200
Honest to God.

582
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:27,160
I told him, we could park illegally somewhere and I'll split the parking ticket with you,

583
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,080
but I'm not going to split the fucking tow.

584
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,080
I don't want to pay for that.

585
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,480
Dude, we've seen four bands for 20 bucks.

586
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:35,760
I'm willing to take a $200 hit on a 20.

587
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,960
Oh, by the way, happy birthday Iggy Pop.

588
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,120
Happy birthday, Auntie Pat in Heaven.

589
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,120
Happy birthday.

590
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,120
It's all right, P.A. Pat.

591
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,120
All right, P. Pat.

592
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,120
Happy birthday, Havad.

593
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,120
Today's Iggy's birthday.

594
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,120
Yesterday was 420.

595
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,120
Nice.

596
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:52,640
And we saw four bands for 20 bucks.

597
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,360
Continuation of 420, baby.

598
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:55,960
It's always a continuation of 420.

599
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,240
Yeah, well, we're still smoking weed.

600
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,400
It was a good show, man.

601
00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,560
It was fucking great, dude.

602
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,280
Yeah, the sound was amazing.

603
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:03,880
It was amazing.

604
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,000
We got there at like 6.

605
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,480
We didn't get out till, what, fucking 1.32?

606
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,480
Yeah.

607
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:10,480
So long.

608
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,080
And then, all right, then we leave, right?

609
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,360
We rock out and have a good time.

610
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,360
White cast.

611
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,360
There's a black...

612
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,320
So there's a gravel lot and there's a white castle.

613
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:19,320
Yeah, Larry.

614
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:20,320
We got to go.

615
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,320
Here's the best spot.

616
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,520
Because I'm like, Jean and Jude's are going to be closed by the time I drive home.

617
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:24,520
It's two in the morning already.

618
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:25,520
Yeah.

619
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:26,960
So we were like college though.

620
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,560
We could see white cast and we could easily walk there.

621
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:35,800
And we drove around the block, drove through the parking lot.

622
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:41,040
And then, after we fucked up and passed all our opportunities, he did some kind of crazy

623
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:46,880
backwards move on the street through the drive-through backwards with this big fucking truck and

624
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,920
parked it in some weird spot.

625
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:49,920
And then we went in.

626
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:50,920
So we go in there, right?

627
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:51,920
Dude, we could have walked.

628
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:52,920
Yeah, the car was right there.

629
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:53,920
The car was right there.

630
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:54,920
Needles.

631
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:55,920
We were in the morning.

632
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:56,920
All right?

633
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,080
We're fucking hammered, right?

634
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,080
When the cop...

635
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,080
Oh, I forgot this part.

636
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:05,760
When the cop almost hit my truck, when he pulled in front of me, I look over.

637
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:06,760
We got...

638
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:11,040
I'm not saying, hey, drink and drive, but we had some pops in the car.

639
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,640
I look over and this guy's got a sucret...

640
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,800
Dude, he's got a sucret box.

641
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,600
Well, like 15 doobies in there to start to telephone poles.

642
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,120
And I was like, what the fuck?

643
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,520
That's not a good spot to be.

644
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:29,640
So we go to White Castle, we walk in and we're like just like super munchies, you know?

645
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:30,640
Yeah.

646
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:31,640
Walk in.

647
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:32,640
It was dude.

648
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:33,640
The best White Castle ever had.

649
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:34,640
I ordered like $50 worth of food.

650
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,160
You could feed a family of 10 on the South Side.

651
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,160
What'd he ate?

652
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,920
Dude, we had these 60 ounce chocolate shakes that were so thick.

653
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,280
I couldn't even drink it.

654
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,000
It was like, I'm like, he had fucking chocolate.

655
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,000
Hey, cheese.

656
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,000
Dude, the shit was just...

657
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,000
Look how furry I am.

658
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,000
Yeah, the listeners at home, Frank is a two foot beard.

659
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000
He's got a GZ Top here.

660
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,000
He's a building here.

661
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,000
He's been sitting here.

662
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,000
He's got a top, man.

663
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:01,000
And then we're sitting there, we shout out, we got onion rings, chocolate chips, slider

664
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,000
eyes.

665
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000
Guys, dude, I haven't had White guys in 20 years.

666
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,000
They fucking ate double fucking cheeseburgers.

667
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,000
Yeah, I went ape shit.

668
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,000
You're gonna eat fucking go to White Castle, you go to White Castle.

669
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,000
Me and him are the only...

670
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,000
You can't fucking...

671
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,000
We're the only two White guys in there, right?

672
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000
Yeah.

673
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,000
We don't care.

674
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,920
I didn't feel we're eating everything.

675
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,000
And then we're packing up and I'm like, we're getting ready to leave.

676
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000
We've got a shit ton left.

677
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,000
So we're bagging it up.

678
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,000
Just bringing it home for Mary.

679
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:32,320
And then these kids come in and I don't know how he was gonna react because I was like,

680
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,480
he kind of looked like he might have snapped and I'm like, all right, I got your back,

681
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:36,480
man.

682
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:37,480
Who snapped?

683
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:38,480
Me?

684
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:39,480
I thought you might have.

685
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,480
I knew you might have.

686
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:41,480
No, these kids came up.

687
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,000
You know, pants hanging down on the...

688
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,000
There you go.

689
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,000
No.

690
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,000
There you go.

691
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,000
No, but no, I'm not saying...

692
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,000
No, I thought you were gonna snap and like fucking...

693
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,000
He grabbed on a frank hand.

694
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,000
The kid came up.

695
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,800
The kid comes up and he kind of was like, hey, man, looking for a handout and then like,

696
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:58,280
Larry looked up at him like, I'm like, oh, he's gonna fucking lose it.

697
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,000
But then he's like, hey, man, you know what?

698
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,800
There you go.

699
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,000
He hands him the bag.

700
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,000
Right.

701
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,040
But the kid wasn't that grateful.

702
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,000
It was like, no, he was a little ungrateful.

703
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,000
And then he took it.

704
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:13,000
He went on the side with his buddy, ripped the bag open like a raccoon started eating.

705
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,000
Yeah, it's a thing.

706
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,000
They want money.

707
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,000
That's what they want.

708
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,000
Well, no, no, he came up and said, you think I can get a hamburger?

709
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,000
Yeah.

710
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:28,000
And I said, here, dude, I'll give you a bubble cheese burger, ham, cheese, onion rings, fried.

711
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,000
We had everything, man.

712
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,000
And an empty cup for him to get a fucking cup.

713
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,000
Crazy.

714
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:38,000
The kid was like, dude, 50 bucks at White Castle and he gets you a line.

715
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:44,000
Yeah, I can't believe you gotta really fucking go crazy to spend 50 bucks there.

716
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,000
Fast food is expensive now.

717
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,000
Everything's expensive.

718
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,000
It's way more expensive than it used to be.

719
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,000
Like fuck that.

720
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,000
They were showing in New York like a meal for New York.

721
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,000
It's like 20 bucks.

722
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:57,000
Well, Stony was telling me he takes his two kids to fucking McDonald's.

723
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,000
It's like 30 bucks.

724
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,000
Yeah, fucking crazy.

725
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000
And this stuff is horrible for you.

726
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,000
Yeah.

727
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,000
Fuck Joe Biden.

728
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,000
What's that?

729
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,000
Fuck Joe Biden.

730
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,000
Fuck Joe Biden.

731
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,000
What does he have to do with McDonald's prices?

732
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,000
He's to do with prices, period, man.

733
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,000
Doesn't?

734
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,000
Ah, what are you talking about?

735
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,000
Supply and demand and availability of products.

736
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,000
So you're gonna fall for the bullshit?

737
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,000
Of what?

738
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,000
Elaborate.

739
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,000
What kind of bullshit, Larry?

740
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:31,000
I mean, there is a direct correlation between what the White House does and the prices stuff.

741
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:35,000
But the companies that make this shit dictate the prices, though.

742
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,000
If gas goes off.

743
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
It costs the fuel.

744
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,000
If fuel goes off.

745
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,000
Strictly because it's motherfucking to arrange in the work.

746
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,000
Okay, yes, I understand that.

747
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:49,000
But it all comes down to certain things.

748
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,000
He makes it crazy.

749
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,000
He makes them jump through fucking hoops.

750
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:58,000
And, you know, meanwhile, he'll hand out, you know, all the contracts to other countries

751
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:03,000
that are doing it as sloppy as can be fucking fucking up the environment like crazy.

752
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,000
And it's still the same earth.

753
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:11,000
It might not be happening right here in Texas or whatever, but it's fucking happening.

754
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,000
It's all still the same planet, you know.

755
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,000
It's just a bunch of bullshit.

756
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:21,000
If we're not buying fucking oil or not making it where we get it from, you know, that's what it is.

757
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,000
And he goes like a pussy, bagging on his fucking knees.

758
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:27,000
But I'm gonna tell you, he's so stupid that I don't, he doesn't understand what's going on.

759
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,000
There's so many backdoor deals and what to do.

760
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,000
I know, I know.

761
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,000
And I mean, the atrocities are committed.

762
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:37,000
That's why they hated Trump because he wasn't fucking gonna be told to.

763
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:41,000
Well, he was a businessman and he had it all there and he was a Republican.

764
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,000
That's why they hated Trump.

765
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

766
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,000
Had none to do with being a Republican.

767
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,000
They liked Mitch McConnell because he's a fucking cunt.

768
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,000
They could push him around.

769
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,000
Well, there you go.

770
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,000
They couldn't push Trump around.

771
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,000
It was because he was, none to do with Republican or Democrat.

772
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,000
Yes, it was.

773
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,000
Had to do with being an outsider.

774
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,000
Well, that's old.

775
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:58,000
He was an outsider.

776
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,000
Yeah.

777
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,000
He's been, dude.

778
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,000
How is he an outsider?

779
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,000
How is he an outsider?

780
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,000
How is he an outsider?

781
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Because he's not part of the machine, he's not on the take like these fucking assholes

782
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,000
are.

783
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,000
That's why there's a reason they all fucking hate him.

784
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:16,000
Here's the thing, if they all hate him and they say he's bad, he's gotta be good.

785
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000
You know, that's just what I think.

786
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000
They lied to us about everything.

787
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:25,000
Why would they fucking, why would they be right about Donald Trump being bad?

788
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,000
What's so fucking bad about him?

789
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:31,000
They looked up his asshole with a fucking microscope and they never found anything wrong

790
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,000
with the guy.

791
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,000
Oh, I mean, besides Stormy Daniels.

792
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,000
Which is amazing.

793
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,000
Come on, man.

794
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,000
This is a big fucking deal.

795
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,000
Who cares?

796
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,000
I mean, this guy banged a porn star and he's a president.

797
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,000
Dude, it was 17 years ago.

798
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000
No, but I'm just saying, I'm not saying there's anything wrong.

799
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,000
I think it's awesome.

800
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,000
Oh, yeah.

801
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:53,000
Yeah, but as usual, dude, three people can keep a secret, Larry, if two of them are dead.

802
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000
Right.

803
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,000
So following the Clintons, they take everybody out.

804
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,000
Right.

805
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,000
They got no problems.

806
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,000
No secrets there.

807
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,000
No secrets there.

808
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,000
No.

809
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,000
I mean, this guy's diddling fucking.

810
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,000
All right, so rumor has it, you guys are like an arguing fucking.

811
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000
Okay, let's hear it, Frank.

812
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000
No, rumor has it you like cats.

813
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,000
Yeah.

814
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,000
I like pussy too.

815
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,000
Meow.

816
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,000
But not that guy.

817
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,000
So I got a story I want to share with you.

818
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,000
Okay.

819
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,000
All right.

820
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,000
I want to get this off of you.

821
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,000
Excuse me.

822
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,000
So growing up as a teenager, right, my mom loved cats.

823
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,000
She had three cats.

824
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,000
She had Marilyn, Mitzi and Jezebel.

825
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,000
I love it.

826
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,000
Marilyn.

827
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,000
No, she had a she.

828
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:39,000
They all had their own room because they didn't get along.

829
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,000
Each cat.

830
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,000
I'm not trying to bore you, but no, no, no, no.

831
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,000
We're not boring.

832
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,000
Each cat has its own room.

833
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,000
So because this is my cat story experience, right?

834
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,000
I want to hear it.

835
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,000
I want to hear it.

836
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:54,000
So growing up as a teenager, my mom had these cats and treated them like gold, like children.

837
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,000
That's what I do too.

838
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,000
I mean, they had carte blanche, rich Carleton life.

839
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,000
They all had their own bedroom.

840
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:05,000
They all had their own domain, but they couldn't get together.

841
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,000
They'd fight, you know.

842
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,000
So Mitzi was like the top dog.

843
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,000
She was just like a big, fat, white snowball.

844
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,000
Belly hitting the ground.

845
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,000
I gave them all bong hits.

846
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,000
I got all of them stoned at one time or another.

847
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:24,000
But Mitzi, when she used to get stoned, she would like, she liked her.

848
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,000
And I'm like, what the fuck?

849
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,000
It was like she was in heat or something.

850
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,000
Well, it was like low maintenance.

851
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,000
Jezebel was fucking demonic.

852
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,000
This cat, that's because of the name.

853
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000
Yeah, and listen.

854
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,000
Wasn't she a whore in the first place?

855
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:44,000
I used to come home and this cat would be hanging upside down on curtain rods in the kitchen.

856
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,000
And I'm like, am I that fucking high?

857
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,000
What is he doing?

858
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,000
You know, what is she doing?

859
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,000
I'm like doing yoga, stretching out.

860
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,000
You're a fucking cat.

861
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,000
It's not normal to be aamir.

862
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,000
Like if she went to cat school, cat school.

863
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,000
She's driving a short bus wearing a football helmet.

864
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,000
You know what I mean?

865
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,000
She ain't right.

866
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,000
There's something wrong with her.

867
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,000
She's off, man.

868
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:11,000
She would like get this like, she would like fucking run and then like just jump like she's like shadows and shit.

869
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:16,000
Well, you know, I used to get high and I would take the flashlight and I'm like,

870
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,000
Yeah, make a wrap for them in the fucking wall.

871
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:23,000
I'm like, all right, after two times you'd be like, this ain't fun, you know?

872
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:28,000
I just sit there, you know, shine a flashlight and she, wow, wow, I do it for a half hour.

873
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,000
Really?

874
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,000
Yeah.

875
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,000
Yeah, you never done that?

876
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:36,000
Well, I done it with the laser, but the cat didn't fucking slam against the wall.

877
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,000
It's a friend man layer.

878
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,000
20 rated his stomach in the can, Jones.

879
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,000
So I come home one night, right?

880
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:46,000
I'm out boozing with my buddies and it's like five in the morning or whatever.

881
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,000
And Mary knows where I lived.

882
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000
I had like maybe shit.

883
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:53,000
There were like 20 something stairs you had to walk up.

884
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,000
Oh my God.

885
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,000
And I fell down a multiple times.

886
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,000
Yeah, I was an amateur.

887
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,000
So, you ever hurt yourself bad?

888
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,000
Oh yeah.

889
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,000
You fucking break anything?

890
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,000
Never broke nothing.

891
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,000
But it hurt.

892
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,000
Yeah.

893
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,000
But you remember just waking up at the bottom of this.

894
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:11,000
So I'm like, I'm just thinking about, you know, it's like five in the morning.

895
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:15,000
I'm like, I just want to go home and like kill a box of Captain Crunch, not a bowl of box.

896
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,000
Like, yeah.

897
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:20,000
The munchies when you're a teenager just seem more intense than when you're older.

898
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:23,000
I mean, I still get them, but when you're a teenager, maybe you're growing.

899
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,000
The munchies were like, oh yeah.

900
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:29,000
I don't have them like I did back when I was a teenager.

901
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,000
Yeah.

902
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,000
So I'm like, come home high looking for fucking anything.

903
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,000
Come up the stairs, right?

904
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000
Huge elevator.

905
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000
I come up the stairs like five in the morning.

906
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:41,000
I'm like, oh, I'm just going to fuck up some Captain Crunch going to pass out.

907
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,000
And I come in and the sink was right by the front door.

908
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:48,000
And I'm standing there and I go to grab a bowl, right?

909
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,000
And I see the fucking, I see Jezebel just hanging upside down.

910
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,000
I'm like, what the fuck, man?

911
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,000
And you don't bite the hand to feed you.

912
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,000
Like I was cool under this cat, you know what I mean?

913
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:02,000
So I'm sitting there and I go to get a bowl and I hear this fucking.

914
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:08,000
And I'm like, what the fuck do the thing like a mountain lion just like your cat attached.

915
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,000
It jumped, landed on my chest.

916
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,000
Okay.

917
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,000
Holy shit.

918
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,000
I got a furry chest, man.

919
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,000
Like I got a lot of hair.

920
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:19,000
And it's like using my chest as like a scratching post.

921
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,000
Like it's open in a bag of Doritos or something.

922
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,000
I'm like, what's a cat?

923
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,000
Like eight pounds.

924
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,000
I'm like, crap.

925
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,000
My mind wakes up.

926
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,000
She's crying.

927
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,000
I'm like, what the fuck's going on?

928
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,000
Pointy.

929
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,000
Dude, I had this thing on my chest.

930
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,000
It would not let go.

931
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,000
Like a pin.

932
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000
And I try to pull it.

933
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,000
Finally, I'm like, man, let go.

934
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,000
My mom's like defending the cat.

935
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,000
I'm like, I'm getting assaulted here, man.

936
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,000
What the fuck?

937
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,000
And I got a shirt off with the cat.

938
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,000
I got all these fucking nail marks and I'm like like scissors.

939
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,000
And I'm like, finally I grab it.

940
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,000
I'm like, would you whip it?

941
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,000
Huh?

942
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,000
Did you whip it?

943
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,000
Oh, dude, whip it.

944
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,000
Like last play of the game, no time left.

945
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,000
Hell, Mary.

946
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:03,000
I threw this thing as hard and as far as I could.

947
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:09,000
It was like Tom and Jerry just splat and hit the wall, like 10 feet.

948
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,000
Oh my God.

949
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,000
And I used to play ball.

950
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,000
I could throw a baseball.

951
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,000
What are you going to do?

952
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:18,000
And it just like hit the wall and just fell and it like shimmied like once.

953
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,000
And I'm like, oh fuck.

954
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,000
And my mom's running over there.

955
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,000
You know, crying.

956
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,000
She's like attending it.

957
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,000
And I'm over here.

958
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:28,000
I'm just bleeding like, dude, I got blood everywhere.

959
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,000
I'm missing chest hair.

960
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000
I'm like, what the fuck's going on, man?

961
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,000
I just put in some shit.

962
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,000
And what happened to the cat?

963
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000
So, oh, I don't know until this day.

964
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,000
I mean, did you go back?

965
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,000
I mean, she didn't kill the cat.

966
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,000
No, it's not.

967
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,000
Let's make that clear for you.

968
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,000
Take a fucking deep.

969
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,000
And had to take a look.

970
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,000
He got all fucking scratched up, man.

971
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,000
You're going to get a cat.

972
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:50,000
I don't trust cats.

973
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,000
I don't like them.

974
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:55,000
When I was a kid, my grandmother's landlord had a cat and they lived in this apartment

975
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,000
and I fuck with the cat all the time.

976
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,000
This big fat orange tabby.

977
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:03,000
One day, you know, my mom would always be making me carry shit into my grandmother's.

978
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:07,000
So I got two shopping bags, you know, with the handles, one in each hand.

979
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,000
And fucking the little cat is out.

980
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,000
Not a fat cat, not a little cat.

981
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:15,000
Out on the front stoop and he fucking sees his chance.

982
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:21,000
And the thing jumped up and went right in my face, man, except it didn't scratch the shit out of me or anything.

983
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,000
It just kind of let me know that I could.

984
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:28,000
And I fucking had a different respect for cats than that day.

985
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,000
I was like, damn, that fucking thing jumped back.

986
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,000
You're slipping.

987
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:33,000
That's what it did.

988
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,000
You saw your weakness.

989
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,000
That's like this dummy's cutting in your right now.

990
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,000
So I got another one.

991
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,000
My weekend wasn't over after getting assaulted by a cat.

992
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Like, who?

993
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,000
Man, I've been in fights, man.

994
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000
I've won some, I've lost some.

995
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:49,000
So it might have been like two days later, like Sunday.

996
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,000
That was a Friday or Sunday, whatever.

997
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:56,000
And same thing, you know, this party and shit come home.

998
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,000
And didn't have this encounter.

999
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,000
It wasn't expecting this, like, you know, the day before.

1000
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,000
Right.

1001
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,000
And these are true stories, man.

1002
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000
I'm not making a shit out of a lot of community.

1003
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:10,000
I'm not like trying to, but these are like childhood memories.

1004
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000
Like, so.

1005
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,000
Nah, he's telling the truth.

1006
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:17,000
Once again, I got to walk up, you know, fucking 27 stairs or whatever.

1007
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:22,000
But the bottom door, there's like, I used to have this, like, like a, like a barrel,

1008
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,000
like a 55 gallon drum.

1009
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:29,000
I had baseball bats, hockey sticks, you know, all kinds of shit in there, balls.

1010
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:33,000
So I come home, I open the door, I start to take a couple of steps up and I hear this,

1011
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:37,000
like, you know, just rough, like something move.

1012
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:42,000
And I'm like, oh man, and I look and I'm like, I thought I was hearing something and I seen it.

1013
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:47,000
And then I look and then dude, I see this possum.

1014
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,000
Oh man.

1015
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,000
I'm thinking, all right, man, I just got to go to the cat.

1016
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,000
Now I got to deal with a fucking possum.

1017
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,000
I got no experience with a possum.

1018
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,000
And they're ugly, dude.

1019
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,000
Oh my God.

1020
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,000
He's like, for me to you, these are ugly.

1021
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,000
They're so ugly.

1022
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,000
Dude, he's like, for me to you.

1023
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000
Okay.

1024
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,000
And we're like showdown.

1025
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,000
And I'm looking at him.

1026
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,000
I'm like, dude, fuck off.

1027
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,000
So I've, no, it's just silence.

1028
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,000
We're just staring at each other.

1029
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:16,000
So I start reaching for the, I'm like, dude, I don't want to fuck you up, but I don't want you fucking me up.

1030
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:20,000
Dude, he's like, looking at my calves, like, all you can eat buffet.

1031
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,000
Nice, nice, nice.

1032
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,000
You should get me to collect.

1033
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:26,000
I'm thinking, if this thing comes at me, it's not like a dude, you can punch him in the jaw.

1034
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,000
Yeah.

1035
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,000
It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like a dog.

1036
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,000
It's like, it's like a dog.

1037
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,000
It's like, it's like a dog.

1038
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,000
It's like a dog.

1039
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,000
It's like a dog.

1040
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,000
So I start to reach for a hockey stick, right?

1041
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,000
Mm-hmm.

1042
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,000
And I get it.

1043
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,000
And I'm holding him like, be cool, dude.

1044
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,000
You got to hand him up.

1045
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:38,000
I want to go eat my Captain Crunch, man.

1046
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,000
Yeah.

1047
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:40,000
Always Captain Crunch.

1048
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,000
Yeah.

1049
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,000
Like, fuck, dude.

1050
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,000
He's winding up the stairs, going to bed.

1051
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,000
Like, I got to deal with a fucking kid.

1052
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000
Now I got to deal with a possum.

1053
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,000
Yeah.

1054
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:49,000
So, and they're ugly, man.

1055
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,000
Yeah.

1056
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,000
He's got them eyes.

1057
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,000
He's looking at me, you know.

1058
00:34:52,000 --> 00:35:01,000
And I'm like, dude, don't fuck up.

1059
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,000
Don't do the wrong thing, you know.

1060
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,000
Right.

1061
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,000
And then I'm starting to like, go like this.

1062
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,000
And I'm starting to take a couple of steps.

1063
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:10,000
And I'm like, now that I know he's there, you know, it kind of freaked me out.

1064
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,000
Even if I get upstairs, I know he's down there.

1065
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,000
Yeah, yeah.

1066
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,000
He's still in the building.

1067
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000
So I go to take like two steps to go up the stairs.

1068
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,000
And he fucking like, squealed.

1069
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,000
He made this noise.

1070
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,000
And then like, he started to come at me.

1071
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,000
And I was like, oh, game on, dude.

1072
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,000
I just fucking, I was hitting like a pinata, man.

1073
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000
I was just cracking it.

1074
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000
It was squealing, making all these noises.

1075
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,000
I'm like, kind of people out there allegedly allegedly.

1076
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,000
He killed this fucking guy.

1077
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,000
No, to the state.

1078
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:38,000
No.

1079
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000
And then I, dude, it was the craziest thing.

1080
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,000
I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

1081
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,000
So now I'm like, I got him in the corner.

1082
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,000
I'm like, it's a rough weekend, man.

1083
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000
And I'm still not even recovered and healed.

1084
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,000
Like I still had all these fucking blood marks.

1085
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,000
I'm like, now I'm fighting a fucking possum.

1086
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,000
Like, what the fuck, man?

1087
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,000
They're all coming after him.

1088
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,000
So then I, dude, I just kept hitting him

1089
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,000
till like he wasn't moving anymore.

1090
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,000
He wasn't dead.

1091
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,000
They fucking pretend though.

1092
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,000
So I picked, yeah, they do.

1093
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,000
And they got, they got like that Armadillo fucking show.

1094
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,000
Kind of like when they go into like protect mode.

1095
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,000
So he wasn't moving.

1096
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,000
I was like, dude, man, I'm sorry, man.

1097
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,000
You did this to yourself.

1098
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,000
Like, you hit the hockey stick.

1099
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,000
Yeah. So I'm like, you got to go, bro.

1100
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:23,000
So no, no, I picked them up with the blade.

1101
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,000
And I like went in the alley, you know,

1102
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,000
I went down like three houses and I just threw him

1103
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,000
by the garden.

1104
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:32,000
And I'm like, he probably fucking got up and walked away.

1105
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,000
Yeah.

1106
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,000
Well, but he took a beating, dude.

1107
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,000
There was blood.

1108
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,000
Like he was squealing like a pig.

1109
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:38,000
The noises.

1110
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:43,000
He made one time I shot a possum and I didn't kill it.

1111
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,000
I fucking didn't hit it good enough.

1112
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,000
I fucking it.

1113
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,000
It was terrible.

1114
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,000
But you shoot it with this rifle and fucking.

1115
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,000
BB gun?

1116
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,000
No, it was that air rifle.

1117
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,000
Yeah, but it doesn't take BBs.

1118
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,000
It's like these scenario little.

1119
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,000
I know what you're talking about.

1120
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:00,000
It's a BB gun.

1121
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,000
Yeah, but no, there's sort of metal ones with the fucking.

1122
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,000
Yeah, but this particular BB gun is it comes out

1123
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,000
with the same speed as a fucking bullet.

1124
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:12,000
So if you shot a person with it, you could kill them.

1125
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,000
Yeah.

1126
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,000
I don't know about that.

1127
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,000
Do you want to test it?

1128
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,000
No.

1129
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,000
You don't want to get this motherfucker.

1130
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,000
Why do I want to test it?

1131
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,000
I don't know.

1132
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,000
You're acting like, oh, no, that's nothing.

1133
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,000
Dude, I don't want to kill somebody with this air rifle.

1134
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,000
You're shooting the fucking temple needles.

1135
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,000
Why would you do that?

1136
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,000
That you're gonna end the show?

1137
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,000
That's what you wanted to prove.

1138
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,000
That's the point.

1139
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,000
If I have to.

1140
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,000
So then you kill me?

1141
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:38,000
If I have to.

1142
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,000
If I have to.

1143
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,000
All right, get back to shooting your possum.

1144
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,000
Yeah, let's hear about the possum.

1145
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,000
No, you later.

1146
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,000
You said you shot a possum.

1147
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:48,000
Yeah, well, he just crawled off and it was real snowy and there was a blood trail.

1148
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,000
Did you try to come?

1149
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,000
I had to fucking go and shoot him again.

1150
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,000
Did you really?

1151
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,000
Yeah.

1152
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,000
Did you finish your job?

1153
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:54,000
Yeah.

1154
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:55,000
But he suffered for a while, man.

1155
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,000
He was combed out.

1156
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,000
I had to put my shoes on and shit, you know what I mean?

1157
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,000
I should have left that for you.

1158
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:04,000
Because I was standing in the kitchen and he was eating the cat food.

1159
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000
How close were you?

1160
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,000
Pretty fucking close, man.

1161
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,000
Wow.

1162
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:13,000
I fucking tried to hit him in the fucking neck.

1163
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,000
I don't know.

1164
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,000
I guess that was not the spot.

1165
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,000
They're like, what's their purpose, man?

1166
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000
They're just like stupid.

1167
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,000
Like some animals.

1168
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,000
Like bugs.

1169
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,000
Yeah, insects.

1170
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,000
Like what the fuck is the...

1171
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,000
Oh, man.

1172
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,000
White-willed mosquitoes.

1173
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:26,000
Like they're so annoying.

1174
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,000
Yeah.

1175
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,000
Like bees.

1176
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,000
I guess the frogs got to eat shit.

1177
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,000
Well, bees do the pollen, but I mean bats.

1178
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,000
Some are just fucking bats.

1179
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,000
Bats get their blood intake through eating mosquitoes.

1180
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,000
I don't know.

1181
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,000
Dude, their shit's really valuable.

1182
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,000
The guano?

1183
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,000
The guano.

1184
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,000
The guano is fucking...

1185
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,000
Yeah, the back guano.

1186
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,000
It's crazy.

1187
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,000
You can buy it at the grocery store.

1188
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,000
Did you ever see the fucking...

1189
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,000
Fertilized.

1190
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:51,000
Yeah, they'll let them show you where they show the cave, where they actually get it from.

1191
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:55,000
Yeah, literally, like 50 fucking foot-high pilot bats.

1192
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,000
And they're like just pellets.

1193
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,000
They look like little fucking renters.

1194
00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,000
They're fucking shoveling the shit up.

1195
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:02,000
They fucking just take their compelts, put them in a coffee grinder, and they throw them.

1196
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,000
You know what I mean?

1197
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:04,000
They're fucking...

1198
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,000
They make seabird guano, bat guano, fucking...

1199
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,000
Needles like to put it on their sandwiches.

1200
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,000
And I jerk off with it.

1201
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000
And make it into a cream.

1202
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:15,000
All right, so how about this?

1203
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,000
You guys talked about NASCAR, right?

1204
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,000
A little bit.

1205
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,000
Never.

1206
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,000
No, I think...

1207
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,000
No, maybe.

1208
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,000
They talked about the...

1209
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,000
No, Santa Claus.

1210
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,000
I got an idea.

1211
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:25,000
I might have been black top.

1212
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,000
I got an idea, but I need help with it.

1213
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,000
Like, pay-per-view...

1214
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,000
Oh, I would watch this.

1215
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,000
We did.

1216
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,000
We said we'd throw a baby on the...

1217
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,000
Please, Carl.

1218
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,000
Tell me if you'd watch this.

1219
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:34,000
Okay.

1220
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:37,000
All right, so like NASCAR, it's just left turn, left turn, left turn, right?

1221
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,000
180 miles an hour or whatever.

1222
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,000
Yeah.

1223
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000
Driving sober is easy.

1224
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,000
Get them fucking ways.

1225
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,000
Yeah.

1226
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,000
Dude, like a Monopoly game.

1227
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,000
Hey.

1228
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,000
So you start out...

1229
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,000
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

1230
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,000
No, you're holding me.

1231
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,000
Yeah.

1232
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,000
Listen to this.

1233
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,000
Hear me out.

1234
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,000
What you do is you start, right?

1235
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:59,760
In order to get your keys to the car, you have to drink like two beers and like fucking

1236
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,000
smoke a bowl or whatever it might be.

1237
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,000
Or do a shot.

1238
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,000
Yeah, yeah.

1239
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,740
you gotta do like, you gotta rip two rails,

1240
00:40:06,740 --> 00:40:09,440
like have another, and just keep it progressing

1241
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,300
to the last guy standing.

1242
00:40:11,300 --> 00:40:13,040
Dude, he's the best fucking driver.

1243
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:13,880
Think about it.

1244
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,940
Survival of the fittest.

1245
00:40:15,940 --> 00:40:17,240
Anybody could drive sober.

1246
00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:20,720
I wanna see a fucking kid titler from Tennessee

1247
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:24,120
that's just, you can have the cars be like,

1248
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,520
one could be Budweiser car,

1249
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,320
and the guy is just fucking tanked on Budweiser.

1250
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,840
One could be the weed car, one could be the Coke.

1251
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:33,240
Well, you gotta keep doing things.

1252
00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:35,360
You're listening to yourself.

1253
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:36,360
Here, listen, wait.

1254
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:37,680
No, no, no.

1255
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,240
Wait, wait, wait, I got even one better.

1256
00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:41,520
So after like five laps, then you gotta get out

1257
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:42,880
and do like three, but you gotta like,

1258
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:43,720
how long is this?

1259
00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:45,520
You gotta like do the thing where you want,

1260
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:48,680
yeah, like a three-pack, like 24-hour-old,

1261
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,600
and you just keep progressing it to see

1262
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:54,200
who has the endurance to fucking get the, you know,

1263
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:55,040
think about it.

1264
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:56,720
What an insurance nightmare.

1265
00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:59,720
Hey, you sitin' on that, you can die driving sober.

1266
00:40:59,720 --> 00:41:00,560
You're so many laps.

1267
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:01,400
Yeah, it works.

1268
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,800
You gotta do a shot, you gotta do a bong hit.

1269
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:05,840
You gotta do a fucking bang up or something.

1270
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:10,160
Yeah, like the 15th hard core fucking race.

1271
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:11,200
I would watch that.

1272
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:12,040
I would too.

1273
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:13,920
15th lap, you gotta rip two bong hits

1274
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,160
and drink two beers to get in your car.

1275
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:17,000
Right.

1276
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,480
You can't get back in until you rip.

1277
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:19,320
Yeah.

1278
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,080
Dude, it'd be like a speed, you keep,

1279
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:22,560
it would be fun, man.

1280
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,200
It would be fun to watch.

1281
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:27,680
To watch.

1282
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:28,520
Hey, they say,

1283
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:29,360
I would love to,

1284
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:33,000
they could build cars, it'll be safe enough

1285
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,720
to where these fuckers aren't getting killed.

1286
00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:35,560
Dude, it's like Sycamore.

1287
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:36,400
I don't know about that.

1288
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:38,360
It's not even about safety,

1289
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,520
it's just about to look for a problem.

1290
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,840
Remember Sycamore and a Crash Derby or whatever they had?

1291
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:48,200
Yeah, dude, my dad used to put cars in there.

1292
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:49,720
So what's the difference?

1293
00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:51,680
Yeah, everyone would fucking let them go.

1294
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,320
They were drunk.

1295
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,320
Driving those cars drunk.

1296
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:56,160
I think they still had it.

1297
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:57,600
I think I might even get into that.

1298
00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,720
I want to get contested.

1299
00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:01,960
I could fucking hammer it out, man.

1300
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:03,920
I could throw some underground shit

1301
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:05,960
that you'd have to start out first.

1302
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:06,800
I don't think you're gonna have any sponsors to do it.

1303
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:07,840
Dude, you've got a bunch of,

1304
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:09,200
no, I don't care about sponsors.

1305
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,240
You get a lot of dudes that would sign up.

1306
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:14,640
Yeah, I mean, the criminality factor sounds.

1307
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,280
But you gotta like, you know, you,

1308
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:17,600
you just get everybody,

1309
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,600
it's how they did it.

1310
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,040
Please.

1311
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:22,000
What was that for?

1312
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:22,880
It's entertainment.

1313
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:24,240
Oh yeah, it's like UFC.

1314
00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:26,320
Listen, now have you ever seen one of that power slap?

1315
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:27,840
Have you ever seen the Russian guys?

1316
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,160
Oh, that's fucking hilarious.

1317
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:30,680
Dude, I watched Dude's drinking beer

1318
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:31,680
and driving a crash.

1319
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:32,680
Have you ever fucking,

1320
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,360
have you ever seen them do MMA in a phone booth?

1321
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:36,200
No.

1322
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:37,920
They put two guys in a phone booth.

1323
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,080
I'm being serious.

1324
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:39,920
Holy fuck.

1325
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:41,240
And then they do one in a car.

1326
00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:42,840
They're looking and fighting a car.

1327
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,120
One guy starts in the back.

1328
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:45,840
One guy starts in the front.

1329
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,400
And they just start pounding the fuck out of each other.

1330
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,520
It's like, it's like those dreams.

1331
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:52,040
The fucking Ruskies, man.

1332
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,960
Oh wow, Frank is the fucking best fucking guess

1333
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:57,760
because he brought me Bud Light

1334
00:42:57,760 --> 00:42:59,960
and fucking Reese's peanut butter cups

1335
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:02,240
and dark corn are good.

1336
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:04,960
But sugar and treats for the sugar baby.

1337
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,440
Hey, don't forget to mention a Bud Light.

1338
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:08,640
And he brought a case of Bud Light.

1339
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:09,760
He's like K&Es.

1340
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:10,720
He brought Bud Light?

1341
00:43:10,720 --> 00:43:11,560
No, no, he didn't.

1342
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:12,400
I was gonna say.

1343
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:13,240
I don't really care.

1344
00:43:13,240 --> 00:43:14,080
I mean, booze is booze.

1345
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:14,920
Who cares, man?

1346
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:16,040
We're just talking shit.

1347
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:17,200
No, I understand that.

1348
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,480
I mean, we already talked about that.

1349
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,560
Now, what were you saying just now, man?

1350
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:22,400
About what?

1351
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,080
Just the last thing you just said, man,

1352
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:25,520
because I had some bad to that.

1353
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,680
But if you don't remember, fuck it, it doesn't matter.

1354
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:29,760
I don't even really know you guys that good either, you know?

1355
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:30,600
No, no.

1356
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:31,440
I don't, man.

1357
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:32,280
It's cool.

1358
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:33,440
I know.

1359
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:34,800
I part with you a couple of times,

1360
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,480
but I recently got to know him.

1361
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:37,520
Yeah, Larry.

1362
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:38,520
Here's the thing about,

1363
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,840
if I didn't know Mary, I wouldn't know Larry.

1364
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:42,680
Yeah, no.

1365
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:43,520
No, really?

1366
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:44,360
And here's the thing about,

1367
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:45,800
and then I used to come by in the beginning

1368
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,720
and I'd see this dude had all these axes on him.

1369
00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:49,680
I'm like, he looked my age and I'm like,

1370
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:50,760
I got a good vibe on him.

1371
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,160
I'm like, he seems like a good girl.

1372
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:53,480
He's got a good aura.

1373
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:54,880
And then one day Mary said that.

1374
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:56,200
Is he that guy, aura?

1375
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:59,720
And then one day I'm paying for the pizza and Mary's like,

1376
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,360
oh, shit, that's Frank.

1377
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:03,360
And I'm like, oh, you know this cat?

1378
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:04,320
Coincidence.

1379
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:05,160
Yeah.

1380
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:06,480
Oh, did you see that?

1381
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:07,320
Oh, yes.

1382
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,440
Because it's a reason, man.

1383
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:10,680
That was not a coincidence.

1384
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:11,520
No, it's a reason.

1385
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:12,360
It never happened.

1386
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:14,320
It's a reason people meet people.

1387
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:17,840
All Mary had to say was, I was like, is that guy cool?

1388
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,240
She would tell me the fucking absolute truth

1389
00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:21,800
and she approved, so.

1390
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:22,640
What did you do?

1391
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:23,960
Yeah, Mary's married.

1392
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:25,280
Yeah, and you know, Mary's got a good job.

1393
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:26,280
Your lawyer's good people.

1394
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:27,120
She's a good job.

1395
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:27,960
Fuck my lawyer.

1396
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:28,800
Fuck my lawyer.

1397
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:29,720
We can't go.

1398
00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:31,080
Yeah, I grew up with her, man.

1399
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:34,880
And like a circle of friends, we made good times.

1400
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,200
Hey, you ever heard of soaking?

1401
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:38,040
Soaking?

1402
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:38,880
Yeah.

1403
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:41,120
Where's this going?

1404
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:42,880
I was reading an article about it.

1405
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:43,720
It's a funny history.

1406
00:44:43,720 --> 00:44:48,840
Mormons, Utah, can't have sex before marriage, right?

1407
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,640
So they do this thing where a male,

1408
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,520
and I watched a video of it too.

1409
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,000
Well, you didn't watch an actual video, but.

1410
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:56,840
Yeah, I saw.

1411
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:57,680
I didn't see the penetration.

1412
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:58,720
That's a guy in tradition.

1413
00:44:58,720 --> 00:45:00,440
Yeah, no, there was no nudity or anything.

1414
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:01,600
But they were under the blankets

1415
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:02,480
because they're Mormons, but they were still.

1416
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,480
I know, but you just said you saw the video.

1417
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:05,320
You gotta elaborate.

1418
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:06,800
Dude, I saw what they were doing.

1419
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,800
I saw how the action went down.

1420
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:09,920
Just tell them, tell them.

1421
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:11,440
You're watching, now that's what you're watching.

1422
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:13,120
It's a Mormon soaking point.

1423
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:13,960
Yeah.

1424
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,280
That's how the preview.

1425
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:17,600
Just tell them what it is.

1426
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:18,440
You just brain.

1427
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:24,000
So they do this thing called soaking, Frank,

1428
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:27,720
and the man gets hard, and he inserts his penis in a woman,

1429
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:30,120
and they just lay there, and they can't move.

1430
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:31,440
Because they're not supposed to fuck.

1431
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:32,360
They can't move, though.

1432
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:33,000
So they can't.

1433
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:33,920
Technically, they're not.

1434
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:34,720
No friction.

1435
00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:35,440
Yeah, no, yeah.

1436
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:37,440
There can't be any humping or anything like that.

1437
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:38,400
So they call a friend.

1438
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:39,040
No funny straightener ride.

1439
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,360
They call a friend over, and they do this thing

1440
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:42,400
called jump humping.

1441
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:43,360
Oh, what the fuck is that?

1442
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:46,280
So somebody, their friend, gets on the bed,

1443
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:48,400
and jumps up and down while the guy's on the bed.

1444
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,120
It's cheating, man.

1445
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:51,120
I know.

1446
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:53,560
They're seeing the kids doing it or something.

1447
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:54,560
If you find a loophole.

1448
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:55,840
20-year-old fucking Mormon kid.

1449
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:58,840
Listen, this is what our future looks like.

1450
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,840
This is what our future looks like.

1451
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,840
I mean, it's more like kids.

1452
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:04,840
But it's hilarious, isn't it?

1453
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:07,680
It takes, they're having like a weird three-some.

1454
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:11,160
And the one I saw was the fucking girl jumping out of the bed

1455
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:12,240
was fucking hot.

1456
00:46:12,240 --> 00:46:13,240
And the girl was hot.

1457
00:46:13,240 --> 00:46:13,840
Shit.

1458
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:15,800
Yeah, they were fucking Mormon.

1459
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:17,560
They were fucking all good looking.

1460
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:18,640
Mm-hmm.

1461
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:22,360
I was like, shit, I fucking do soaking just to fucking

1462
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:23,520
for the laugh of it.

1463
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:24,400
I mean, you're pretty fucked.

1464
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,320
I don't think they'd like that with a dude.

1465
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:31,040
I think that's only females, Larry.

1466
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:33,760
Whatever.

1467
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:35,520
But that's hilarious.

1468
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:37,560
Imagine if I, hey, Larry, can you come on over?

1469
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,920
I want you to jump on it.

1470
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:43,440
Get me off.

1471
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:44,280
So what happens?

1472
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:47,000
I would want it to be a girl jumping on the bed, though.

1473
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:50,640
I want to be out by deck in a girl and hit the girl jumping

1474
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:51,200
on the bed.

1475
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:52,040
I know what it is.

1476
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:54,600
That's what a guy that says it.

1477
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,720
He's trying to fucking, it's not you doing any of this.

1478
00:46:56,720 --> 00:46:59,240
Missing form, us diversers.

1479
00:46:59,240 --> 00:47:01,000
Leave me out of your homosexuality.

1480
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:05,280
I know fucking, well, I have so many, Larry.

1481
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:06,960
Legation.

1482
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:07,600
This fucking.

1483
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:08,840
So I don't know where you grew up.

1484
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,520
But when I hear you say like, what we say on our side of town

1485
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:13,520
was when you call it like the pillow biters.

1486
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:14,840
Yeah, pillow biters.

1487
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:16,320
Now it's my pillow biters.

1488
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,400
No, we used to call them fanoics.

1489
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:19,200
Yeah, fanoics.

1490
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,760
Yeah, we call them fanoics.

1491
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:23,240
Yeah, tomato, tomato.

1492
00:47:23,240 --> 00:47:24,400
Just call them fanoics.

1493
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:25,480
Larry's a fanok.

1494
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:26,120
They're fucking.

1495
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:26,920
We mis-stablished that.

1496
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:27,920
We knew that.

1497
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:29,760
That's just Italian.

1498
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:30,440
Yeah.

1499
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:31,800
Canuto, cacau.

1500
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,920
Yeah, it's just like, what are you?

1501
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:35,680
Yeah, what?

1502
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,840
I'm just kicking some fucking Italian here.

1503
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,560
We only know the curse words.

1504
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:41,320
Yeah.

1505
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:41,920
Oh, whatever.

1506
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,440
Whatever's good for the mood.

1507
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:45,760
I mean, the sauce monkey.

1508
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,880
I'm half Italian and half Irish, so I know how to drink.

1509
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:49,680
What's that?

1510
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:51,880
I'm half Italian and half Irish, so I know how to drink.

1511
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:52,880
So am I.

1512
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:54,800
Yeah.

1513
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:56,280
He just knows how to drink.

1514
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:57,440
Oh, piss off.

1515
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,280
No, Italians ought to eat.

1516
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:00,400
I know.

1517
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:01,680
That is a buzz food.

1518
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:02,680
If I had a piss.

1519
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:03,440
Yeah.

1520
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:04,600
I'm sick of Italian.

1521
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:07,080
No, but if you had a sushi.

1522
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:09,280
No, you know my favorite shit is grand food.

1523
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,360
See, I'm half Greek and half Italian.

1524
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:13,840
Mm.

1525
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:14,480
It's kind of.

1526
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:16,160
I like a good sake sake sake, that's fine.

1527
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:17,600
Actually, I'm not really Italian.

1528
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:18,920
I'm fucking Sicilian.

1529
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:19,800
Oh, so am I.

1530
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:20,560
So am I.

1531
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:21,320
Oh, man.

1532
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:21,920
There you go.

1533
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:23,720
We should all kiss.

1534
00:48:23,720 --> 00:48:25,200
You should suck my dick.

1535
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:26,720
Oh, Jesus, Larry.

1536
00:48:26,720 --> 00:48:28,040
I want to go for a drink first.

1537
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:29,800
We got three darkies for nows.

1538
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:30,360
Three stooses.

1539
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:33,120
We can't get right to the business.

1540
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:35,760
Right now, you're going to treat me like a lady.

1541
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:39,640
Shout out to our followers, our seven followers, and.

1542
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:40,800
Wow, hopefully we get to five.

1543
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:44,320
Shout out to Matthew, our lord, and shout out to Ross.

1544
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,240
No, we didn't, man.

1545
00:48:46,240 --> 00:48:48,000
Did we really?

1546
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,520
Did we fucking shout out Ross?

1547
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:51,200
Damn, Larry.

1548
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:52,120
I don't recall that.

1549
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:53,400
He's fucking crazy.

1550
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:54,760
Larry's losing it again, folks.

1551
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:55,680
No, I'm not losing it.

1552
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:58,160
When you hear this episode, you'll see that you are.

1553
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:02,240
I just started a company credit card.

1554
00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:04,240
I took life insurance out on Larry.

1555
00:49:04,240 --> 00:49:04,840
Fuck you.

1556
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:06,680
This guy's gaslighting me, frankly.

1557
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:07,400
I'm totally.

1558
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:11,000
So what's your fucking baseball story or some shit?

1559
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,000
We mean something good.

1560
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,120
You got something.

1561
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:14,760
It's your notebook.

1562
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:16,640
You don't got any more shit going on in there?

1563
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:19,720
No, I'm talking about Frank playing baseball.

1564
00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:20,880
Nah, that's boring.

1565
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,440
All right, that's boring, he says.

1566
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:24,320
OK, well.

1567
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:25,760
It's a major league pitcher for the.

1568
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,560
I'm going on a year anniversary of not gambling.

1569
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:29,560
That's good.

1570
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:30,400
Oh, awesome.

1571
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:31,680
You know what?

1572
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:32,560
Dude, really?

1573
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:32,960
Yeah.

1574
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:33,920
You know what?

1575
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:37,040
That's the only addiction I don't have.

1576
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:39,120
Like, I never understood it, man.

1577
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:40,640
I really don't understand it.

1578
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,800
Like, I don't understand being addicted to shit,

1579
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:46,560
but like, I just I've gone to the boat and shit like that.

1580
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:47,840
And I just can't do it.

1581
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:48,840
I've been to Vegas.

1582
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:50,280
It's like, I lose all my bucks.

1583
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:51,480
No, it's a needle, man.

1584
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:53,320
It's like it's smoking a devil.

1585
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:55,360
What'd you gamble on?

1586
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:58,360
Mostly sports and like anything.

1587
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:01,280
Football, baseball, not mostly.

1588
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:02,480
Yeah, baseball.

1589
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:03,440
Yeah.

1590
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:05,600
What would you would you have a favorite?

1591
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:08,960
Like, no, that's dude, it's a roller coaster.

1592
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:09,440
You never.

1593
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:09,760
Oh, yeah.

1594
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:10,160
You never.

1595
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,360
Man, I did.

1596
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:12,160
Oh, yeah.

1597
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:13,600
Just chasing the high PA.

1598
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:14,640
But that's the thing.

1599
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:15,240
You know what?

1600
00:50:15,240 --> 00:50:16,840
You're just chasing your tail, man.

1601
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:17,240
Well, yeah.

1602
00:50:17,240 --> 00:50:18,240
The first one is basketball.

1603
00:50:18,240 --> 00:50:20,400
And you're not on your own team while you're playing.

1604
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,720
And then you get to the point where, you know what?

1605
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:26,240
It's like you just get tired of being the nail, not the hammer.

1606
00:50:26,240 --> 00:50:27,040
Yeah, yeah.

1607
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:27,520
Definitely.

1608
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:28,040
No matter.

1609
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:28,600
You just also make that.

1610
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:30,440
At the end of the day, why do you think

1611
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:32,600
they keep building casinos in Vegas, dude?

1612
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:33,080
Right.

1613
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:34,520
You're not going to beat the house.

1614
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:35,760
No.

1615
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:36,440
Trust me.

1616
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:37,760
I went on some runs, man.

1617
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:38,440
Dude, Jim.

1618
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:38,960
Oh, yeah.

1619
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:39,640
It's tough to be the tape.

1620
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:40,640
Well, did you just sport?

1621
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:42,080
But you just played roulette?

1622
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:42,560
No.

1623
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:43,040
I mean, yeah.

1624
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:44,000
I play cards.

1625
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:44,680
You play poker?

1626
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:45,160
I play poker.

1627
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:45,760
I play poker.

1628
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:46,240
Blackjack?

1629
00:50:46,240 --> 00:50:47,120
Your main thing.

1630
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:48,200
No, I like poker.

1631
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:49,160
Yeah, blackjack.

1632
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:50,200
But mostly sports.

1633
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:51,960
Sports is where, yeah.

1634
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:52,800
It makes it more interesting.

1635
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,000
That's where your interests lie.

1636
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,240
Well, but it makes it more interesting also.

1637
00:50:56,240 --> 00:50:56,840
You know what I mean?

1638
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:59,080
Like, I won't watch football.

1639
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:02,000
But if I put money on the game, then I'm going to be on the game.

1640
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,160
You're just with sports that takes a certain amount of calculation

1641
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:07,360
and no acknowledge of the team.

1642
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,840
Well, see, you get what I like about it is,

1643
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:12,480
if you think about it, you got a 50-50 chance.

1644
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:14,200
You got a favorite of obviously.

1645
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:14,760
Right.

1646
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:15,800
But there's two teams.

1647
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:17,080
One's going to win, one's going to lose.

1648
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:18,080
Definitely.

1649
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:22,000
Now, I'm guilty of playing those fucking stupid machines, too.

1650
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:23,400
And those are dumb, too.

1651
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:23,920
Which one?

1652
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:25,480
The poker machines?

1653
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:26,600
And they're everywhere.

1654
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:27,600
Oh, yeah.

1655
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:30,040
I mean, yeah, I'm guilty of those, too.

1656
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:32,040
Dude, there's no, I'm getting the gas station.

1657
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:33,400
I'm fucking monkey.

1658
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:34,520
You just hit a button.

1659
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,920
I go to the gas station and there's fucking stories.

1660
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:39,440
Addicted to fucking the fucking game.

1661
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:40,240
You're gambling.

1662
00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:43,160
You're nine people gambling at like six in the morning.

1663
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:44,280
When I go to the gas station.

1664
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:44,960
Oh, wow.

1665
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:45,760
Ching, ching, ching.

1666
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:47,280
You know, it's like fucking.

1667
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:48,560
Those things are retarded, dude.

1668
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:49,920
They just take money.

1669
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:50,920
Yeah.

1670
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:51,480
Yeah.

1671
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:52,120
I don't remember.

1672
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:53,000
And that's the thing, too.

1673
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:56,480
Like one of my friends, this guy, Nick, shout out, Nick.

1674
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:59,920
He fucking, you know, he likes to drink and fucking play

1675
00:51:59,920 --> 00:52:00,520
those games.

1676
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:04,120
And what happens is they let you win just enough

1677
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:05,560
to keep you hooked on it.

1678
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:08,120
They give you a nice big payout once in a while,

1679
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:10,080
and you're still going to fucking feed all your money

1680
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:11,680
and do it anyway.

1681
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:13,000
It doesn't even fucking matter.

1682
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,040
I had so many bad beats, man.

1683
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:16,040
Oh my god.

1684
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:16,880
I can't even, I mean.

1685
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:18,200
You remember the loss of the win?

1686
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,080
Like if it was raining fucking vaginas,

1687
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:21,280
I get hit with a dick, dude.

1688
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:22,280
Yeah.

1689
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:25,440
If I bought a cemetery, everybody stopped dying.

1690
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:26,640
No joke.

1691
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:33,640
I mean, like the worst hockey games, like 0.03.

1692
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:36,560
You know, I mean, I could, man, it's just crazy.

1693
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:40,000
But it is a, yeah, it's a drug, man, for sure.

1694
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:40,760
It's dopamine.

1695
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:41,480
It's a rush.

1696
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:42,160
It's a rush.

1697
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:46,440
And when you, I mean, you can, there are,

1698
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:48,560
it's like, you have to be disciplined.

1699
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:53,560
If you can be really disciplined, you can make money.

1700
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:57,080
But you just can't get, how many games are in football?

1701
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,160
You're 17, 17 weeks.

1702
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:00,720
They do 60-hours.

1703
00:53:00,720 --> 00:53:02,080
Yeah, I have no idea.

1704
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:04,960
If you bet one game every week, there's

1705
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:07,080
a chance you could go 11 and 5.

1706
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:07,600
You know what I mean?

1707
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:08,480
Or 12 and 4.

1708
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:10,240
I mean, if you take these bats and shit,

1709
00:53:10,240 --> 00:53:11,120
what if you want to make money?

1710
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:11,600
10 and 10.

1711
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:12,480
But if you want to make money.

1712
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:13,560
Just for shit, you know what I mean?

1713
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:15,920
Just to throw a dart out there to like, you know,

1714
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:17,000
here's 100 bucks.

1715
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:18,120
You know what I mean?

1716
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:21,240
But the gambler putting $1,000 bets on, you know,

1717
00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:22,520
what the first quarter.

1718
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:24,760
You're just going on there fucking.

1719
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:27,120
What was the biggest fucking, most of the biggest

1720
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:28,000
words, bro?

1721
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,200
Oh, I don't, I don't.

1722
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:30,400
You know you want to talk about it,

1723
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:31,960
makes you sick to this day?

1724
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:32,480
Come on.

1725
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:33,280
OK.

1726
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:36,240
I've loved guitars in the past that still make me sick

1727
00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:36,920
to this day.

1728
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:38,440
So I know the feeling.

1729
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,320
I know what it's like, man.

1730
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:42,480
And the double dick ain't no easier, man.

1731
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:44,360
The thing is, you can gamble on your phone.

1732
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:46,680
Dude, I fucking smoke.

1733
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:48,720
Smoked there like five years, dude.

1734
00:53:48,720 --> 00:53:49,560
So did I.

1735
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:52,600
Hey, Larry, you know, you can gamble right from your phone.

1736
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:54,080
You don't even have to go to the hotel.

1737
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:54,760
You know what I mean?

1738
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:55,120
I know.

1739
00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:55,520
Oh, yeah.

1740
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:56,920
You can sit at home and gamble.

1741
00:53:56,920 --> 00:54:00,560
But what's worse is now they got live betting.

1742
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:02,880
So that makes it even more crazy.

1743
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:04,440
Dude, it's like Wild West.

1744
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:07,080
You could just, because when you bet a game,

1745
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:08,880
you used to lock in and just, that's it.

1746
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:10,000
You were done.

1747
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,600
You couldn't jump in the middle of a game.

1748
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:13,640
Now you can?

1749
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:14,960
Oh, yeah.

1750
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:17,840
Dude, there's odds after like a first goal of a hockey game.

1751
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:18,800
And so you can jump in.

1752
00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:20,040
Dude, it's like stock market.

1753
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:21,160
It just goes like this.

1754
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:21,800
Oh, my god.

1755
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:22,840
By the odds.

1756
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:24,360
Now you can gamble crazy.

1757
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:25,360
So here, the other night.

1758
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:27,080
The boogie's really, it's got to be a computer.

1759
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:29,880
Oh, well, you're just shooting at a fucking moving screen.

1760
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:33,160
You can keep that track of that shit.

1761
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:34,800
You're shooting at a moving screen.

1762
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:35,560
Yeah.

1763
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:36,040
Oh, shit.

1764
00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:38,200
Crazy.

1765
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:42,800
Yeah, the other night I looked up at a game and it was,

1766
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:46,080
the Kings and I was LA and Edmonton.

1767
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:47,800
And LA was down three to one.

1768
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:50,880
And like me being a degenerate, I would have been like,

1769
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:53,560
I would have jumped in on LA to come back.

1770
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,440
Because the odds were, and I asked my buddy the next day,

1771
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:57,560
I go, I just looked at it.

1772
00:54:57,560 --> 00:54:59,640
I go, I would have threw, you know.

1773
00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:01,960
And he goes, oh, they were fucking 11 to one.

1774
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:03,720
And they ended up winning the game.

1775
00:55:03,720 --> 00:55:04,960
So that's some fucking good odds.

1776
00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:07,280
You would have had to.

1777
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:08,600
11 to one.

1778
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:09,080
Shit.

1779
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:10,840
That's crazy.

1780
00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:13,720
But you could, we call it a dime.

1781
00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:16,120
So now you feel, do you feel like you miss that bet?

1782
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:20,160
Like a nickel, like our lingo, like boogie's, like a nickel,

1783
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:21,360
a dollar is 100.

1784
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:21,640
Yeah.

1785
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:23,040
Nickel is 500.

1786
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:24,320
A dime is 1,000.

1787
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:24,840
Yeah.

1788
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,080
You know, there's terminology with the language.

1789
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,240
Sure, sure.

1790
00:55:29,240 --> 00:55:31,360
You're not betting a dollar.

1791
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:33,320
You don't want to get a phone call for a dollar.

1792
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:34,040
Why'd you quit?

1793
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:34,680
Why'd you quit?

1794
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:35,960
I don't know.

1795
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:36,600
I know.

1796
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,840
I knew a dollar was a hundo because you're not

1797
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:40,480
going to call a fucking boogie and say,

1798
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:42,200
I want to bet $1.

1799
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:42,760
Oh, right.

1800
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:43,840
You'd be like $4.

1801
00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:44,320
$4.

1802
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:44,560
Oh, yeah.

1803
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:45,240
No, no, no.

1804
00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:46,840
Yeah.

1805
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:48,040
I don't know.

1806
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:50,000
I mean, I had stunt-smart out of here in there.

1807
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:51,480
I want to bet 10 dimes, Frank.

1808
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:52,320
I want to bet 10 stags.

1809
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:52,840
10 dimes?

1810
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:54,880
That's 10 grand.

1811
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:55,680
But then, you know what?

1812
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:57,720
I got back in, and I picked up a guitar again.

1813
00:55:57,720 --> 00:55:58,760
I was like, fuck it.

1814
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:00,480
And they had to find something else to do.

1815
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:01,520
Oh, it's fun, man.

1816
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:02,040
I like it.

1817
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:02,560
I dig it.

1818
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:03,240
Divert from.

1819
00:56:03,240 --> 00:56:05,120
Yeah, it was just hobby.

1820
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:06,840
It got where it wasn't even gamble.

1821
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:08,760
You go buy a guitar, and you take it home.

1822
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,560
Well, but you got to fucking put that energy

1823
00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:13,120
toward something already.

1824
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:14,320
You start over thinking.

1825
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:17,160
Like, it's just like a mind.

1826
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:18,960
You do so much for work.

1827
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:19,480
It's soft.

1828
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:21,400
You feel like you might not do one.

1829
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:24,080
It's just exhausting after a while.

1830
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:27,080
I mean, but if there's a game on, yeah,

1831
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:29,040
I'm that kind of guy would be like, oh, I'll throw a hundred

1832
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:29,560
bucks.

1833
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:30,840
Yeah, you still want me just for shit.

1834
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:31,360
So I can't.

1835
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:33,600
You still watch all the games in shame.

1836
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:38,080
No, I throw in my last hundo for maybe Coke or something.

1837
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:39,600
Not for a fucking.

1838
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:40,560
Not to gamble?

1839
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,400
I'm going to gamble with my life, not fucking.

1840
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:46,680
Well, it's twice as sweet to win it than earn it.

1841
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:47,000
Yeah.

1842
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:48,480
When somebody gives you an envelope,

1843
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:52,480
and I've got some fag stags where rubber bands that

1844
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:53,760
could have choked a horse.

1845
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:55,360
Ah.

1846
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:56,320
I mean, I'm not.

1847
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:56,960
Fuck.

1848
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,880
But I scored some big.

1849
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:02,400
But back in the day, it was so good because I got to say,

1850
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,720
I think brought us a big Frank.

1851
00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:08,040
Listen, Kit Kat's and Reese's peanut butter cups,

1852
00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:11,600
and they were in this fucking cooler, which makes him ice

1853
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,320
cold and is so fucking good.

1854
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:14,640
Let's put this back in there.

1855
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:15,920
I wish back home.

1856
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:19,280
So my neighborhood, there was a little mafia

1857
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:20,200
so going on.

1858
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:21,800
Where'd you grow up at?

1859
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:23,520
Well, we're not supposed to stay location.

1860
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:24,920
Oh, look at the hand if you want.

1861
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:28,360
I want to rule this is no location.

1862
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:30,480
Just give them the city.

1863
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:31,680
It was close to Maywood.

1864
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:32,360
OK, there you go.

1865
00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:33,360
That's fine.

1866
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:35,120
That's perfect.

1867
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:37,000
That's all I need.

1868
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:37,440
All right.

1869
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:40,480
But so you had a little congregation of people.

1870
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:43,640
Books back in the day, and they're still, God bless them,

1871
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:43,960
man.

1872
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:48,080
Books are like reading books.

1873
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:48,600
Oh, books.

1874
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:49,240
Books.

1875
00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:50,240
Oh, OK.

1876
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:54,600
So like, it's hard for them to go away.

1877
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:56,840
Because they give you credit.

1878
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:57,880
There's a different.

1879
00:57:57,880 --> 00:57:58,280
Right.

1880
00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:00,680
When you go to these casinos, you've got to put the money in.

1881
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:01,440
They take a person.

1882
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:02,160
They don't know.

1883
00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:03,880
The books take a percentage too.

1884
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:06,640
But the books are good.

1885
00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:08,600
I'm for the books.

1886
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:11,800
Like, there are these local guys taking a bunch of, actually,

1887
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,680
you need to be the book.

1888
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:15,640
Because the house never loses.

1889
00:58:15,640 --> 00:58:16,120
Right.

1890
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:19,400
You've got to find 20 guys that when the money comes in,

1891
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:22,400
all you're doing is transferring funds.

1892
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:24,720
Everybody's coming up to you making a donation.

1893
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:26,840
And then at the end of the game, you decide who gets it.

1894
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:27,280
You're transferring it.

1895
00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:28,360
Yeah.

1896
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:29,160
Here's the thing, though.

1897
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:31,840
I knew a guy that was a bookie.

1898
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:33,840
And sometimes there are those days

1899
00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:37,760
where all the games go fucking wrong for him.

1900
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:38,360
Oh, yeah.

1901
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:38,840
We all been there.

1902
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:41,400
And he would be telling me, oh, man,

1903
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:44,360
if these motherfuckers don't win, he'd be fucking pulling

1904
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:45,640
his hair out, man.

1905
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:46,480
Oh, I broke a TV.

1906
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:48,160
It's not an easy ride.

1907
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:48,760
Just beat the bookie.

1908
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:49,840
Dude, I broke a TV.

1909
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:51,240
Yeah, I'll chill.

1910
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:53,360
I fucking I broke a TV.

1911
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:54,280
He's eating the body.

1912
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:55,280
He's a fucking Melloc.

1913
00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:57,400
He's a fucking big man.

1914
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:00,120
Joe, I broke a TV in like 82 or 83

1915
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,240
with a glass ashtray like this.

1916
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:03,160
OK?

1917
00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:04,280
Shattered it.

1918
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:05,600
Just smoke everywhere.

1919
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:06,440
That's not good.

1920
00:59:06,440 --> 00:59:07,280
It was a whole thing.

1921
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:08,440
I had to listen to this.

1922
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,520
The team didn't do quite well.

1923
00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:13,120
The guy missed three field goals.

1924
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:17,200
So listen, I was up pretty good with my guy, OK?

1925
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:19,040
My book.

1926
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:22,320
And I really had nothing to lose.

1927
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:24,280
I still would have been in the positive.

1928
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:27,080
So I told them, it was now you can remember back then,

1929
00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:28,360
it was off phone.

1930
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:30,400
You had a call in there was no computers.

1931
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:31,320
Yeah, fucking hell yeah.

1932
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:32,880
You had to get a number.

1933
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:36,200
You were identified as like, hey, this is 834.

1934
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:39,040
You didn't have any names exchanged.

1935
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:42,360
If there was any friction, they'd say call your agent.

1936
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:47,440
It was like, you know, the legitimate paper.

1937
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:49,400
If the feds came in, they threw it in the toilet.

1938
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:50,520
They fucking flushed it.

1939
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:51,320
You will know.

1940
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:52,560
No, really?

1941
00:59:52,560 --> 00:59:53,560
The paper was dissolved.

1942
00:59:53,560 --> 00:59:55,120
Now, this is what Mary was telling me.

1943
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:57,640
She knows the guy that defended that shit.

1944
00:59:57,640 --> 00:59:59,080
Well, I know a guy who got pinched,

1945
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:01,760
but they were hiding his trees with binoculars.

1946
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:03,280
Like, this shit's for real.

1947
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:04,800
Yeah, no, it's heavy shit.

1948
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:06,480
So anyways, I was up pretty good.

1949
01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:08,080
And I called my guy and he go, hey, man,

1950
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:10,880
I want to do a 10 team parlay for $100.

1951
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:11,320
Oh, tell me.

1952
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:12,520
And I was up over.

1953
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:14,160
Yeah, what's a 10 team parlay?

1954
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:15,560
You got to go 10 and 0.

1955
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:17,440
It's 300 to 1 odds.

1956
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:19,640
All right, so I was ready to get all 10 teams.

1957
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:20,720
You got to go 10 and 0.

1958
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:21,280
10 teams to win.

1959
01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:22,240
You got to go 10 and 0.

1960
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:22,600
You got to win.

1961
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:23,760
10 and 0, no hiccup.

1962
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:25,200
You got to sweep the board.

1963
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:26,160
Holy fuck.

1964
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:29,040
No, but I'm up over like five dimes.

1965
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:30,600
So what's 100 bucks?

1966
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:34,360
You know, I'm like Rockstar status, like 100 bucks ain't.

1967
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:36,640
And he took it.

1968
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:38,240
I was like, oh, I went fuck, dude.

1969
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:41,040
If I lose, I'm still up almost $5,000.

1970
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:42,080
You know?

1971
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,960
OK, let it roll.

1972
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:46,640
This is like the 90s.

1973
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:47,960
I was working at the airport.

1974
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:50,000
I was driving a truck.

1975
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:54,360
And this is before, I don't even think ESPN was around yet.

1976
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,480
They used to put the ticker at the bottom.

1977
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:58,520
And CNN.

1978
01:00:58,520 --> 01:00:59,960
I'd be watching elephants.

1979
01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:02,040
And my wife would be like, what are you looking at?

1980
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:03,800
I'm looking at scores at the bottom.

1981
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:05,840
You know, it's like a ticker with all the.

1982
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:09,200
So anyways, I didn't even want to go to work.

1983
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:11,720
I had to work like 3 to 11 at the airport.

1984
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:13,000
I didn't want to go.

1985
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:16,200
And my buddy's calling me on a house phone on a landline.

1986
01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:18,440
My buddy Nick and he's like, dude, you're fucked.

1987
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:19,240
I'm like, shut up.

1988
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:20,400
You're pushing me.

1989
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:22,120
I hung up on him.

1990
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:25,440
So time I leave the work, I'm 8-0.

1991
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:26,800
I got two games left.

1992
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:27,840
Oh my god.

1993
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:29,720
If I hit this, wait.

1994
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:30,220
Huh?

1995
01:01:30,220 --> 01:01:30,720
Football?

1996
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:31,280
College football.

1997
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:31,920
College football.

1998
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:32,420
Yes.

1999
01:01:32,420 --> 01:01:32,920
Holy fuck.

2000
01:01:32,920 --> 01:01:34,080
I'm 8-0.

2001
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:35,680
I'm driving to the airport.

2002
01:01:35,680 --> 01:01:36,160
Right?

2003
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:37,000
Go into work.

2004
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,560
Well, if I hit that.

2005
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:39,280
He didn't win yet.

2006
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:40,880
No, I know.

2007
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:42,120
That's 30 grand.

2008
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:42,640
Yeah.

2009
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:45,560
I went $30,000 on $100 bet.

2010
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:46,060
Wow.

2011
01:01:46,060 --> 01:01:47,280
And I'm 8-0.

2012
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:49,080
And I'm like freaking out, man.

2013
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:51,120
Now I don't have the technology.

2014
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:52,400
I can't listen to the game.

2015
01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:53,520
I can't get scores.

2016
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:55,200
So you don't know what's going on.

2017
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:56,880
No, no idea.

2018
01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:58,400
And now I have no phone.

2019
01:01:58,400 --> 01:01:59,920
I had a landline.

2020
01:01:59,920 --> 01:02:00,840
So I'm at work.

2021
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:04,240
And I'm like, we have pay phones, I think.

2022
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:04,960
That's how long ago.

2023
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,000
It might even been longer than that.

2024
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:11,360
So I shit the bed.

2025
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:14,200
The next two games, one game I lost by a hook,

2026
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:15,560
by half a point.

2027
01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:17,960
And the other game they got destroyed.

2028
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:20,400
And then my guy called me and he goes, hey, listen.

2029
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:21,000
That's 100 points.

2030
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:22,200
We're not doing this again.

2031
01:02:22,200 --> 01:02:24,640
I go, I understand.

2032
01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:27,080
You've got to put 30 large out.

2033
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:28,560
I'm putting out 100.

2034
01:02:28,560 --> 01:02:30,240
Here's 520s.

2035
01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:31,800
You've got to put out 30 large.

2036
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:33,120
It's a suck bet.

2037
01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:35,280
You're going to scoop up my 100 like that.

2038
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:37,240
But that would scare the fuck out of you.

2039
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:37,740
Yeah.

2040
01:02:37,740 --> 01:02:39,080
I'm fucking 30 large.

2041
01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:40,240
You're thinking, oh shit.

2042
01:02:40,240 --> 01:02:41,400
What am I getting at?

2043
01:02:41,400 --> 01:02:43,040
It's $100?

2044
01:02:43,040 --> 01:02:44,040
Benjamin?

2045
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:45,720
He's like, no, he ain't doing this no more.

2046
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:46,360
I'm like, OK.

2047
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:47,960
I was going to say, that fucking take you.

2048
01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:50,400
Did they ever get worked over?

2049
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:50,960
How are you?

2050
01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:52,120
Oh, yeah.

2051
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:54,080
But how often are you going to do that?

2052
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:55,560
That's why the odds are 300.

2053
01:02:55,560 --> 01:02:56,060
Oh, yeah.

2054
01:02:56,060 --> 01:02:56,560
That's a big.

2055
01:02:56,560 --> 01:02:57,060
Yeah.

2056
01:02:57,060 --> 01:02:57,560
It's like.

2057
01:02:57,560 --> 01:03:01,080
You've been pistol whipped, man.

2058
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:03,360
Give me a little bit more cooth about it, Larry.

2059
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:03,760
Why?

2060
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:05,120
This is the fucking.

2061
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:06,640
Maybe I did some pistol whip.

2062
01:03:06,640 --> 01:03:07,040
Maybe.

2063
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:08,200
Oh, yeah.

2064
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:10,000
We don't want to incriminate anybody around here.

2065
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,960
No, I'm fucking around, man.

2066
01:03:12,960 --> 01:03:14,080
You know what the problem is?

2067
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:15,880
It's like what you were saying, the guy's

2068
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:18,400
the loan you the money, then you got juice on it.

2069
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:18,900
Yeah.

2070
01:03:18,900 --> 01:03:19,760
You keep gambling.

2071
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:23,720
You know what happens with the mafia, like gambling,

2072
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:25,880
is that it's when the Deb Beats don't pay up.

2073
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:27,040
Well.

2074
01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:28,320
And then there's violence.

2075
01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:28,820
Yeah.

2076
01:03:28,820 --> 01:03:29,760
That's what I'm going to add.

2077
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:32,080
If there's street corner guys and they go, hey, Mikey,

2078
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:33,080
you want to come play with us?

2079
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:35,120
You want to put 50 bucks on the bears?

2080
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:36,400
We'll take your action.

2081
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:37,640
They're not bad guys.

2082
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:38,140
No.

2083
01:03:38,140 --> 01:03:39,680
They're not.

2084
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:42,480
They get a bad reputation because then when guys,

2085
01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:43,720
like it's an honor system.

2086
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:44,720
The one that's forced to be bad.

2087
01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:46,120
If you want to play with me with money,

2088
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:47,480
if you're not an honor for them, they come down.

2089
01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:47,980
Yeah.

2090
01:03:47,980 --> 01:03:48,480
They do.

2091
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:48,980
Yeah.

2092
01:03:48,980 --> 01:03:51,880
Like if you stiffed me four games in a row and I'd be like,

2093
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:53,760
and you want to keep betting, I'd be like,

2094
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:55,280
you know, where's my cash?

2095
01:03:55,280 --> 01:03:55,780
Yeah.

2096
01:03:55,780 --> 01:03:58,360
But at the same time, it's kind of, if you just.

2097
01:03:58,360 --> 01:03:59,320
This guy's already a gamble.

2098
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:00,560
If you're on the up and he up.

2099
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:02,000
Kind of taking advantage of them, right?

2100
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:06,320
If you're on the up and he up, then there's no problem.

2101
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:07,880
You're both getting your fix.

2102
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:08,920
Yeah.

2103
01:04:08,920 --> 01:04:10,840
But then you're into someone.

2104
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:12,080
And then you got to keep on doing it.

2105
01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:13,800
As long as you're cool.

2106
01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:15,120
You're not looking over your shoulder.

2107
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:17,120
Just pay your debts.

2108
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:18,360
They pay you.

2109
01:04:18,360 --> 01:04:19,080
They do.

2110
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:20,040
I never had.

2111
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:21,400
They make movies about guys who.

2112
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:21,800
Never had an issue.

2113
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:22,760
Always got paid.

2114
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:23,640
Always paid.

2115
01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:24,140
Never.

2116
01:04:24,140 --> 01:04:26,080
But don't be a fucking shine box.

2117
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:29,640
And then when it comes time you lost 2,000, you go,

2118
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:30,840
I don't have the money.

2119
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:31,320
Yeah.

2120
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:32,360
Then that don't look good.

2121
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:33,600
Yeah.

2122
01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:34,240
You know?

2123
01:04:34,240 --> 01:04:34,840
Yeah.

2124
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:35,840
How would you feel?

2125
01:04:35,840 --> 01:04:36,520
No, I know exactly.

2126
01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:37,360
You'd do me wrong.

2127
01:04:37,360 --> 01:04:40,160
If I'm putting out that sword and I'm paying you,

2128
01:04:40,160 --> 01:04:43,200
be a man, honor it.

2129
01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:45,720
And then you got Rocky and Vito come knocking at your door

2130
01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:47,440
going, hey, where's my five dimes?

2131
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:49,440
Yeah.

2132
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:50,240
And the biggest.

2133
01:04:50,240 --> 01:04:51,040
It's like drugs.

2134
01:04:51,040 --> 01:04:52,000
And the biggest still comes.

2135
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:53,840
It's like, I said, I want my money for it.

2136
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:55,480
The problem is, it's not like drugs,

2137
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:57,760
because those fuckers come sooner.

2138
01:04:57,760 --> 01:04:58,240
No, no, no.

2139
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:00,040
They come to find you.

2140
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:01,280
Where's my money?

2141
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:03,280
This is our first time talking to you.

2142
01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:05,480
When I come back, I'm going to come and see you in a different

2143
01:05:05,480 --> 01:05:06,280
way.

2144
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:07,600
And you know what I mean?

2145
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:08,360
Yeah.

2146
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:10,160
No, but you know what they'll do first?

2147
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:10,560
They will.

2148
01:05:10,560 --> 01:05:13,440
They're not at that ruthless.

2149
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:15,800
They'll put you on a payment plan, but they're going to juice you.

2150
01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:16,800
Yeah, they're going to put the big on you.

2151
01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:17,280
They're going to juice you.

2152
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:19,240
Yeah, they're going to hit it big time with the big.

2153
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:19,960
For sure.

2154
01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:22,840
And that's understandable, though.

2155
01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:23,800
How can you?

2156
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:25,240
I'm not trying to be excited.

2157
01:05:25,240 --> 01:05:26,640
No, no, not at all.

2158
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:28,520
When I was a kid, my dad told me that.

2159
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:30,360
But how is your whole fucking business

2160
01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:32,120
is getting these guys on the arm,

2161
01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:33,920
getting them on the juice, and fucking.

2162
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:35,040
Then you got something on them.

2163
01:05:35,040 --> 01:05:37,160
Yeah, and then it's just payment coming in.

2164
01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:40,200
You don't care if the motherfucker ever pays them, pays it off.

2165
01:05:40,200 --> 01:05:42,240
As long as he keeps on paying on this.

2166
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:44,720
Here, when you're a bookie, your what, dream

2167
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:48,840
is when you get a Monday night game, say, Bears Packers, right?

2168
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:52,600
And you get, there's like three scenarios that could happen.

2169
01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:56,080
If you're a book, and I got 100 players, right?

2170
01:05:56,080 --> 01:06:00,280
It's a Monday night, the only game in a week, Bears Packers.

2171
01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:02,720
You're going to get all this money fucking coming at you.

2172
01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:06,560
You're going to get 10,000 on the Packers, 6,000 on the Bears.

2173
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:09,680
At the end of the day, you're just holding all that money.

2174
01:06:09,680 --> 01:06:13,280
Whatever the spread is, there's a couple of scenarios

2175
01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:16,040
that could happen, either.

2176
01:06:16,040 --> 01:06:17,600
Sure, Frank, we'll rob them.

2177
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:18,800
Oh, yeah, you can.

2178
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:19,960
And like split.

2179
01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:23,440
So when you split, if you get even money,

2180
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:25,600
so he bets 100, right?

2181
01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:28,280
He's got a risk, 110 to 100, and so do you.

2182
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:30,880
So the house keeps 10 bucks on every 100.

2183
01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:32,480
OK, you follow me?

2184
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:33,320
Kabish?

2185
01:06:33,320 --> 01:06:35,920
So if you get even money distributed,

2186
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:40,560
say you get like 15,000 and 14,000, like divide it,

2187
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:43,240
all you're doing is taking all the loser's money,

2188
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:45,400
paying the winners, putting 10 bucks in your pocket

2189
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:46,600
on every 100.

2190
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:48,640
Now, you could have another scenario

2191
01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:52,280
where you're going to get lopsided.

2192
01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:54,600
You're going to get all this money on one team.

2193
01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:56,600
You're either going to take it up your ass,

2194
01:06:56,600 --> 01:06:58,400
or you're going to clean house.

2195
01:06:58,400 --> 01:06:58,960
There's no money.

2196
01:06:58,960 --> 01:06:59,720
There is no.

2197
01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:01,920
You know what I mean?

2198
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:02,840
You follow?

2199
01:07:02,840 --> 01:07:04,880
All you're doing is playing with the people

2200
01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:06,480
that are coming up to you, putting money.

2201
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:08,040
And you're playing with your broker.

2202
01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:11,800
You're just sitting there, being a buck.

2203
01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:16,080
I got 20 you guys, like you, Needles, 20 you guys.

2204
01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:17,560
So you're one guy's betting the bears,

2205
01:07:17,560 --> 01:07:20,320
one's betting the packers, one's betting the bears, one.

2206
01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:22,200
All I'm doing is sitting there with all this cash.

2207
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:23,440
How often do you think it is?

2208
01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:26,320
Or everybody's betting that one fucking team.

2209
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:28,360
Oh, dude, it's out of control right now.

2210
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:30,680
You know what's funny about gambling?

2211
01:07:30,680 --> 01:07:34,120
You see all these ads now on TV and everywhere, right?

2212
01:07:34,120 --> 01:07:36,920
All these casinos, rivers, all this stuff.

2213
01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:39,880
After they run like three or four of them,

2214
01:07:39,880 --> 01:07:42,800
then you'll see an ad about, do you know somebody

2215
01:07:42,800 --> 01:07:45,040
would an addiction to gambling?

2216
01:07:45,040 --> 01:07:45,520
Oh, no.

2217
01:07:45,520 --> 01:07:48,880
It's like a Betty Ford after showing four beer commercials.

2218
01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:52,320
That's like putting a billboard about the dope spot, Larry.

2219
01:07:52,320 --> 01:07:53,360
Well, here's the funny thing.

2220
01:07:53,360 --> 01:07:54,360
He helped with your addiction.

2221
01:07:54,360 --> 01:08:00,440
Outside Mark's fucking hotel room was the fucking 290 East.

2222
01:08:00,440 --> 01:08:03,440
Fucking Expressway sign.

2223
01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:06,960
He's like, oh, man, it's like a sign calling me, Larry.

2224
01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:08,920
He's looking at his hotel room window.

2225
01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:11,120
He just looked right at it first thing in the morning.

2226
01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:13,960
It's like, it's so hard to not just get on the highway.

2227
01:08:13,960 --> 01:08:17,040
And I'm like, oh, man, God speed my brother.

2228
01:08:17,040 --> 01:08:22,120
I'm too old for that, which is hilarious.

2229
01:08:22,120 --> 01:08:24,400
All right, Larry, should we wrap it up then?

2230
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:25,120
Yeah.

2231
01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:28,040
Hey, thanks for tuning in to the Larry and Needle show.

2232
01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:28,800
Thank you, Frank.

2233
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:29,920
We really appreciate it, brother.

2234
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:30,840
Hey, man.

2235
01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:36,520
The Larry and Needle show at Yahoo.org.com.

2236
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:38,520
Larry and Needle show at Yahoo.com.

2237
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:41,160
First 10 people are going to get 10 t-shirts.

2238
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:42,360
God bless.

2239
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:42,840
No, no.

2240
01:08:42,840 --> 01:08:43,640
Yeah.

2241
01:08:43,640 --> 01:08:46,680
The first 10 people are going to get one t-shirt each, not 10 t-shirts.

2242
01:08:46,680 --> 01:08:47,180
Oh, yeah.

2243
01:08:47,180 --> 01:08:48,160
You know what I meant, ass clone.

2244
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:49,200
Yeah.

2245
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:50,760
Thanks for tuning in.

2246
01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:51,840
All right.

2247
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:53,600
I'll set up another round.

2248
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:54,100
Yeah.

2249
01:08:54,100 --> 01:08:56,360
You want to go upstairs and chill for a minute?

2250
01:08:56,360 --> 01:08:56,920
I think Mary.

2251
01:08:56,920 --> 01:09:01,920
Yeah, Larry and Needle show.