Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.
Larry and Needles
Hot!
Yeah, we're hot.
Hey, here we are. Welcome to the Larry and Needles show.
I'm Larry.
And I'm Needles.
And uh...
How you doing today, Larry?
I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing pretty good.
It's getting nice out, isn't it?
Yeah.
Fuckin' people drive like assholes when it gets nice out.
Although yesterday it was pretty fucking cold.
Well, it's fucking snowed, man. I was on a roof for a little while.
Yeah?
Yeah, it sucks, though. But people drive like assholes when it gets fucking nice out.
I don't know why is that.
Ah!
I don't know.
I mean, it's just...
I mean, I know, like, why...
Everybody's in a rush to get home because no, it's not...
What's that?
I know why I drive like an asshole.
Why is that? You don't even drive.
Drive your school.
Drive my school, yeah. I know.
Go through it.
Boys town backwards.
Fuck you.
Okay, so why do you drive like an asshole?
Ah, you know, just...
It's springtime and the chicks start wearing less.
Oh!
They want to slow down and look.
Oh!
Okay.
You know.
That's gonna transition to our first topic. Keep going.
Okay.
Well, but I'm just saying that...
I want to slow roll when it's nice out.
I'm like an old school pimp.
You know what I mean?
I want my tunes on.
I'm stoned.
I fucking just want to relax.
Me too.
People are like,
Man, fucking 5.30 this morning, I'm on the highway.
And, uh, people are like break checking people.
Nice.
Shit, I'm all the way over in the right lane.
I'm listening to my fucking podcast and shit.
And I'm like, just watching these animals.
There's four lanes of just, like, people accurating.
Right, damn.
Fuckers.
It's literally in the morning.
Like, that's how you're gonna start your day.
Mm-hmm.
People are pressurized, man.
Can I hit that layer?
Fucking pressure.
What, you got my own jib for me?
Yeah, you gotta say please, motherfucker.
I just said, can I please have that layer?
Oh, okay.
Jesus, man.
We totally disparaging in front of our audience.
I don't like this.
Oh, shout out to our five followers and fuck you, the guy that went following us.
We had six followers.
It must have been some dumb shit, Needle said they defended that fucking plot.
I hope it really is, because that guy's gonna carry it with him.
Or it's a fucking Nigerian guy, actually.
Yeah, he probably got arrested.
You gotta defend it what I said.
Who knows what he was doing up there?
I don't fucking care.
God speed our friend in Nigeria.
Hope you've cleared off all your charges.
So then what we're gonna do is we're gonna do a website.
We're gonna start a website, which, I mean, it takes two of us to do, because, you know,
we're two idiots.
And we have five followers now.
And when we get 10 followers, the first 10 people that email us, we're gonna send you
out t-shirts that we make in-house.
Just our logo.
And send us your size.
And if you're over 3x, lose some weight.
That's right.
All right, so the first topic I want to talk about, Larry just hinted on.
Okay.
Shout out to the Sun God Ra.
Yeah.
Do you know anything about the Sun Dress God?
There you go, Larry.
Look at it.
We are on the same wavelength here.
Yeah.
I'm gonna tell you, though, I'm gonna give you a couple facts about the Sun God Ra,
which is great.
All right.
By the way, Mary was listening to one of the podcasts and she said you sound like a fucking pervert.
Who, me?
Yeah, so just continue.
Oh, that's your way.
And all of a sudden, I'm the nefarious one in this whole thing.
When you just shout out to Sun Dresses.
Yeah.
I hope you hear that, Mary, and don't crash in anybody while you're driving.
So, he's the oldest deity.
All right.
Yeah.
To the Egyptian Pathion.
All right.
Today, the Egyptians thought this guy fucking was a life of creation, including creating
of heaven and hell.
So what does that go against what you say?
Well, I'm not Egyptian, man, those fucking people.
But you believe in Jesus, right?
Yeah.
Did Jesus create hell?
No.
Who did that?
God did.
Oh, God did?
Yeah.
See, I don't know that much about that stuff, but.
You know what the parole is for.
Speaking, but now you're talking about Sun Ra and not to get off the track, but that reminds
me of jazz, you know, Sun Ra, the jazz musician.
Oh, nice.
And then it reminds me of, uh...
Was he a good jazz musician?
Oh, fuck yeah, but I want to give a shout out.
Yeah, he was famous.
But I want to say rest in peace.
Ahmad Jamal died yesterday, 92 years old.
Who's that?
Chicago Jazz Piano Guy, and my father actually rented a space from him back in the day.
Big joke, shout out.
Yeah, above his jazz club called the Alhambra.
And, um...
The Alhambra?
Yeah.
It was a jazz club?
Yeah.
On the second floor?
Well, no, my dad's little office thing was on the second floor.
Oh, he was above the floor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was on the space above the floor.
I'm saying jazz club on the second floor, holy shit.
And he said it was really fucking cool, and Ahmad Jamal is one of the best fucking piano
guys in the world.
So then what, he would go down there and hang out?
Big joke?
Ah, well, yeah, sometimes, but not really, you know, it was kind of, uh...
Well, after hours, but, you know, your dad was hip.
Yeah, totally.
He was cool, so he kind of knew.
So, shout out to Sundress Season.
Yeah.
Here we go, man.
Fuck yeah.
There's nothing better than when the Sundress hits the sun the right way.
And you're standing in the right spot on the other side.
If you want to take it to that level, Larry.
Larry's in the grassy knowledge of peeping Sundress.
That's all right.
Um, so, we already talked about our website.
We talked about that.
Listen, if you would kill yourself, how would you do it?
Dude, I would never kill myself.
Why's that?
It's just, it's not good.
A lot of my friends have done it and it affects a lot of people.
And plus, you know, it's just not...
Hypothetically, Larry.
Hypothetically, I would fucking probably want to OD and be really high and go out feeling good.
Well, but yeah, but I mean, yeah, that's true.
You know, an easy way.
I mean, how long does it last?
So, you instantaneously black out?
Well, it's better than, I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah, I got it.
So, in New Delhi...
It's what I know.
Yeah, in New Delhi, and I'm such a wop, I spelled it D-E-L-I.
There's me, too.
You're gonna fucking buy a sandwich?
Yeah, well, I want an Italian, but I don't want any mayo on it.
So, this Indian couple, allegedly, in quotes, this is the article that they wrote,
killed themselves by suicide using a guillotine.
Oh my lord.
Where the fuck did they get it?
They made it.
Wow.
Dude, that's some fucking...
I really respect that, don't you?
Yeah, well, I'll tell you what, my cousin...
Made a guillotine?
No, he fucking...
He wanted to kill himself, so he took a bunch of pills and drank a bottle of vodka, and it didn't work.
Oh, that's the worst.
So then he was gonna go in the garage and...
Car?
Yeah, and then the car was broke down, so he actually had to do a car repair first.
And then he fucking killed himself.
He had to do a tune-up, repair some fucking fucks.
Yeah, man, he fucking got the car running, and then he killed himself.
To kill himself?
Yeah.
Come on, really?
I swear to the word.
You're fucking joking.
No, I'm not.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
My cousin Joe.
Well, oh man, talk about the irony in that name.
Yeah, fucking...
It was sure your cousin Joe had something common.
It's not your name, if you know what I mean.
Yeah.
So, wait a second.
So he tried to kill himself with pills.
Yeah.
And it wasn't working.
He just, it wasn't knocking him down, it wasn't doing it, and he realized...
Was he an addict?
Well, he partied balls.
Okay, well, that's an addict then.
And when you say anybody partied balls, they're an addict.
Yeah, he wasn't on heroin and shit or nothing.
He wasn't on...
No, alcohol, I mean alcohol is just as bad as drugs and fucking anything.
Alcohol is a fucking addict.
It's worse than heroin, because you can get it anywhere.
Yeah.
You can't throw a stone without hitting a fucking bar or fucking...
A liquor store.
Yeah.
So...
So yeah, he did a fucking quick car repair.
Sick, sickening and sad as that fucking is.
That is hilarious.
I'm so sorry to say it, but that's pretty funny.
Yeah.
That he had to fix the car to kill himself.
Yeah.
And you know what though, sometimes that shit doesn't work.
It's 50-50, you're gonna end up like a veggie.
Well, it worked.
Well, okay, so he was the lucky one.
Well, I don't know about that, but yeah, it was fucked up, you know.
I mean, it's a fucking...
I don't want to dwell on suicide though.
No, we're just talking about shit.
I was, I got into my story though.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Listen.
But that is crazy.
It is very crazy that he had to repair the car to kill himself.
I mean...
Well, you know, just as much gumption and fucking ferocity as the people in India, they had
to build something to kill themselves.
You know, I watched this documentary about the Golden Gate Bridge and people jump off
of it and there was a survivor.
And he said literally as his feet left the platform, he regretted it.
Yeah.
And it broke all the bones in his body.
Oh, fuck man.
And he lived and the guy can walk and he's a normal human being.
And he actually does like interviews and I think he's a motivational speaker right now.
I'm sure he is.
But he literally said that as soon as his toes left this deal.
He was sorry.
He regretted it and like, you know, we say you like have a epiphany or life flashes before
you.
Yeah.
He was like, up, this is it.
And then he woke up in the hospital.
Ow, almost all the bones in his body were broken.
Like they had the pieces, motherfucker, back to camp.
Dude, the Golden Gate Bridge has a scary history too.
A lot of people killed themselves.
It's a tall motherfucker.
You know they're spending $4 billion on a suicide net.
Yeah, but they're putting in a fucking net.
But the funny thing is when the guys that built that place, they had a net underneath
and people still died.
There's a lot of people.
I wish I had the numbers on that.
It's still a fucking big drop, man.
It's fucking tall.
We were talking hundreds of feet.
Yeah.
I mean, it's tall.
You've driven over it, right?
Yeah, I've been stuck in traffic.
I hate that fucking shit.
People don't like bridges.
There is nothing worse than being stuck in a tunnel or stuck on a fucking bridge like
that during traffic like in New York or stuck in, you know, but like the George Washington
Bridge doesn't scare you as much as a big lawn motherfucker.
I think the subway is the worst.
But the scariest thing for me was when we were going to Canada through Detroit and you
go underneath Lake Superior, you know, and you're fucking stuck in a traffic jam under
there and they got these white fucking tiles and you see them water.
And there's, yeah, there's like, yeah, the lights are so bright and shit.
And you're just thinking about, hopefully the ventilation doesn't go out and we don't
come out and we all die like Cousin Joe.
And look at that full circle.
I mean, that's fucking scary.
Okay, so getting back to, wait, what do you gotta say?
No, it's just, yeah, that shit scares the fuck out of me.
Those tunnels and the long bridges.
Bridges, people don't like bridges.
And they're going to go eventually.
Well, everything deteriorates.
You see this show me and Mary watch it sometimes.
It's called when big things go wrong.
No, I've never heard of this show.
It's fucking great.
And, you know, they'll show a huge bridge go down and they'll say this guy inspected
it at this time and he blew off that fucking vent.
The joint or something.
The bolt was bad.
And all that will be okay, but it really wasn't going to be.
You know what's crazy when you drive downtown and you go over like say western and you go
underneath crumbling.
Well, no, you go underneath that little two lane.
Yeah, for the Amtrak to go over.
You can see the bridges that are just deteriorating.
Yeah, oh my God.
They're crumbling.
Yeah.
And there's people living underneath.
Crumbling to the point where you're seeing rebar.
It's flaking.
Yeah, you can see the rebar come up.
And that was one of the things that one of these big fucking bridges was just some simple
flaking, but it was a problem deeper.
It caused the flaking.
What's that called?
Not like a whole fucking thing clashed, man.
Shit.
And it was cool.
Well, I wasn't cool for the people that were on it.
Well, no, not at all.
They fucking died, but some of them lived and they talked to the people.
And there's probably, there's nothing like being there chill and just something dropping
out from underneath you.
Like, ever have a dream like that?
Like falling?
Oh yeah.
Like you're just sitting there in your car.
You're like, woo wee fucking.
Yeah.
And I'll just rocking out.
Next thing you know, you're fucking like, it didn't happen in Cali when the earthquake
happened, the fucking first top of the highways collapsed on the second top.
The second one, yeah.
The bottom one.
I mean, you're getting smashed like that.
You're gonna be a pancake.
That fucking hurts.
You know what I mean?
Here's your body.
It's in a fucking shot glass.
Exactly.
There's nothing left of you.
All right.
So get back to these people in New Delhi.
Well, they used the guillotine to kill themselves.
That must have been a really fucking deep ass love.
Who?
Those people really must have been sick.
They must have really fucking loved each other.
Well, it was a ritual.
Oh.
They were sacrificing themselves to some sort of God.
I don't, I just brushed over the article.
But so what they did is.
That's the kind of study and I like.
This is in the far, well, hey man, I made notes, man.
I mean, we're not all geniuses.
Let me tell you, if needles gets in the men's eye, you all got to watch out.
So.
I don't think we'll have to worry.
Yeah.
Well, if I start crunching numbers, you're the first one to go.
So.
Oh shit.
So these fucking guys, they made a two person guillotine on their farm.
Right.
What are you doing, man?
What's up, dude?
We're in the middle of a fucking show, dude.
These fucking bar chairs.
I'm coming out in a fucking show.
All right.
Dude, get the fuck back on Mike.
We're doing one right now.
Why don't you come over?
Are you kidding me?
Get on Mike.
All right.
Well, listen, let me call you back, bro.
Get the fuck out of here, Larry.
Hey, help him.
Later.
Jesus.
Listen, I am sorry.
We are so unprofessional.
We are.
Apologizing the fans, Larry.
I'm sorry, but here's the thing.
This is a guy that's real interesting.
Listen, let's talk about what's going on now.
So he's gonna be down.
All right.
Hey, let's just talk about what's going on.
Buddy Frank.
Yeah.
So these people in New Delhi.
This is the guy you kissed at the DRI show.
You fucking asshole.
All right.
So these fucking guys, I really apologize to our five followers.
So they make this two person guillotine on their fucking farm.
They got this rope.
That's crazy.
It's a double, huh?
Two person.
That's what I'm saying, dude.
I mean, let's talk about fucking.
That's too wide.
Well, that love.
Yeah.
Like there's no murder, suicide here.
No, it's a double suicide.
Because you know what the, I wonder what the numbers.
That's wild.
Usually it's a murder suicide.
I wonder what the numbers are on that.
Like one guy kills the spouse and then kills himself.
That's a lie.
But doesn't do it.
Oh, that's probably.
That's what I'm saying.
Like who cares about the guy.
He says, I'm gonna kill ourselves and then after he shoots her.
Shoot her, then he's like, yeah.
That bitch is gone.
Yeah, Sherry at the office looks good.
Now they're fucking loud.
Now they're definitely going to listen to her shit no more.
Dumb bitch couldn't even cook.
So what they did was they built a sacrificial altar in front of the guillotine.
All right.
Uh-huh.
And they set it on fire.
Oh my God.
So what do you think happened?
They said the guillotine on fire.
No, they set the altar, a sacrificial altar in front.
I think the whole fucking place burnt down and they fucking died in the fire.
Listen to this.
What do you think about Indians?
They're pretty small, right?
Engineers?
Yeah, geniuses.
Yeah, there's a billion of these fuckers.
And you know what, I got some friends that are Indian, man, and the motherfuckers are
so nice.
Some of my best friends.
I think you're lying.
I'm not lying.
Yeah, I think you're just trying to get plowed.
You jowl.
Who the fuck can be a guest?
Well, then get him out.
Get him out of here, man.
Jowl out to you, jowl.
All right, well, he's a little in the pod.
He will.
He does.
All right.
So then they start this altar on fire.
Crazy motherfuckers let the rope go.
Guillotine drops, cuts their heads off.
They made paths so their heads roll into the fire and burn.
Oh fuck.
Isn't that amazing?
A little ramp with the head rolled right down.
You know, not even a ramp when their heads fell out, they made a trench and it rolled
into the fire and burned up.
That is amazing.
That is dope.
Talk about an act of love at the same time.
And some fucking kick ass.
You think he's finger-banging her?
As the guillotine came down.
What's that?
As the fucking knife came down.
Yeah, he's just finger-blasting her.
Maybe.
He's like, I might as well get one more because Indian dudes are horny.
Yeah.
They really are, man.
I gotta show you this thing about with the painting.
I know, I never showed you that.
I never showed you that.
Indian boy for a never gave you a break.
What's that?
I know you're a last Indian boy for a never gave you a break.
Jesus, man.
That was racist.
No, it ain't.
I know, I'm just joking.
Hopefully, some of them will clip that and send it to the FCC.
But, so how many fucking reported human sacrifices do you think are in India each year?
Do you know the number?
Yes, I do.
Okay, my guess?
Okay, now think about it.
There's a billion people in India.
My guess is it's gonna be, there's gotta be upwards of a thousand.
Reported.
I'd say like, 200.
Okay, listen.
How about this?
A year.
How about in the last seven years?
I have the numbers for that.
Seven years.
Three thousand.
I got from 2014 to 2021, my bad.
Okay.
How many ritual human sacrifices like that?
Well shit, I'd say like 4500, the way you're asking me.
100.
That are reported.
There's a billion people in India and 100 are reported.
Well, you know, how many are there?
How many are there what?
Anybody doing that, that still seems like a lot.
For a billion, think about that.
100 motherfuckers are doing double suicides.
There's 330 million people in the United States.
200 people?
What's that?
200 people died during this 100 reported double suicides.
Yes.
Are they all doing the same method?
No, not at all.
All different methods.
These are all different methods Larry.
Yeah, yeah.
Come on.
I mean, nobody has the room to build a two fucking, I didn't get to you.
Man, they should have fucking put the plans on the internet before he caught them soft.
Imagine you and fucking Mary are like, alright, here, here's some lumber.
Let's make sure this thing works.
Put a watermelon in there.
Like, oh, look at it.
Slice the watermelon a little bit off.
I mean, think about the blade you need.
Man, it'd be a big motherfucker.
And you gotta sharpen that.
Like, that's probably the worst, is sharpening the blade that's going to use to cut your head off.
Yeah.
Because, think about it, if you don't sharpen it in psychological...
Well, if you don't have the psychological effect of starting the fire that you know your head is going to roll into later.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, everything sounds like...
The whole thing is fucked up.
The whole thing is.
That is fucking crazy.
From the get-go, when you think about it, it's like these people are on a mission from God, technically, or whatever they're into, some fucking...
Mission from Ra?
Yeah, but I mean, that's how you want to call it.
That's what they're going to write on your police report when you caught looking up a sundress.
How's that mission from God?
From Ra.
The sun god told me to tell you where my toe cam.
Patent pending.
Yeah, we are the literary needles toe cam shoe patent pending.
But, imagine you're just building this motherfucker.
I mean, this is a huge apparatus.
Man, that is a depressing fucking thing, man.
The last motherfucker.
Suicide is very depressing, but these guys didn't seem to be concerned with that because it was some sort of sacrifice that they were making.
Like, three of my cousins fucking killed themselves.
Well, that sucks, man.
That is fucking crazy.
The shit runs rampant, man.
Yeah.
The way that...
My two best friends did.
And back then, too, if you were even off a little bit, you know what I mean?
Like, you could still get away with anything.
Like, oh, that guy's off.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, well, now you can get away with anything, man.
It could be as crazy as fuck today, man.
Everything goes.
It's not even you can't get away with anything, it's just you're not getting arrested for anything.
Yeah, well, it's just getting away with it.
It's like, you know what?
It's like the left is like, leave everybody alone, defund the police, let everybody do what they do, shit'll work out.
The right is like, police everybody, put everybody in jail, but it's like, at the same time, what do we have?
You need more prisons?
Well, here's the thing, man.
Like, we're the country with the most prisoners.
In New York City, they said the same fucking 600 people are doing the crimes over and over.
Yeah, but repeat a fact.
Well, repeat a fact.
When you're in the fucking between these six...
Eight million people live in New York City, you're going to tell me 600 fucking people are doing crimes.
I'm committing the crimes the same type of shit over and over and over.
I wish I knew, I wish I wasn't meant to, so I could do the math of 600 out of eight million.
And what the fuck?
Larry, you're telling me that...
You understand?
There was six thousand, here's the math, you want to do some math.
The thing was, there was six thousand crimes done by the same group of people, and I want to say...
That is a very...
That would mean that each one of them did 20 crimes, so if you want to do some mathematics at home...
I don't know, your math is way off.
And plus, I'm fucking ready.
Larry, me too.
I'm tripping fucking balls.
That's what she is.
I've been fucking Larry seeing things.
Anyways...
Okay, so you're telling me, okay, so, wait a second, in New York City there's eight million people...
And you're going to say that six...
Okay, where do you get these numbers from?
I don't know, man.
Oh, Jesus!
Dude, this...
You and Kiki, man, are you guys hanging out on the side?
Because the both of you, I don't fucking know what's going on there.
This, the UN says...
This is a great one.
Okay, I hope it's what you're going to do.
Sex with minors is legal.
Okay, well, under 18, sexual fucking sex...
The minors work very hard every day getting cold, and they should not be able to have sex with them all the time.
Hey, if you could get a black plumber to eat...
If you could get a minor...
If I could get a minor in a canary, I would be happy.
Just those two things are all I want.
A minor in a canary?
Yeah, yeah.
Why?
Man, don't you get it?
The canary works in the mind.
I understand that, but I don't know what the core of the...
I understand this.
I'm fucking kidding, man, but here's the thing.
Here's what they're saying.
Okay, what is it?
Sexual sexual consensual sexual conduct, irrespective of the type of sexual activity, the sex slash gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression of the people involved, or their marital status,
may not be criminalized in any circumstances.
Larry, you got a fucking...
...concerned...
...concerned sexual sex.
So they're saying what you can do now is have sex openly and by law.
But it doesn't say age limits.
It doesn't say anything.
No, and down here it says sexual conduct involving persons below the domestically prescribed minimum age of consent.
To...
Sex may be consensual, in fact, if not in law.
This is context.
That is...
Blah, blah, blah.
Under 18, you know, decisions about...
Yeah, but where is this...
Okay, wait a second, wait, stop.
This is just some shit they put out.
This is the fucking new thing.
What's the new thing?
Child rape?
Yeah, according to this fucking article, man.
Yeah, but I don't know, man.
We need to cross check these things.
I'm looking at it right now.
It's called, principle 16 consensual sexual conduct.
And it's a new rule that they're putting down.
That's a website or is that...
No, this is something that they're putting out from the fucking UN, man.
These fucking people are sick.
Biden, he's a fucking pedophile, Harrison.
How do you know this?
Allegedly, you just can't go saying that to me.
Allegedly, when his daughter, Ashley Biden, took showers with the motherfucker.
How old was she?
Do you speculate?
I don't know, but I think they...
Listen, man, that sounds like another street rumor.
She didn't know what a towel rack was.
I'm gonna tell you those fucking ten years ago.
I was just about to make a real bad joke and I had to stop myself.
God, man.
Listen, so the guy, fucking Hunter Biden, what has he gotten away with?
I wrote the party with him, man.
Yeah, I mean...
He has fucking gotta be the most fucking fun.
I think we talked about this before.
Maybe we did.
You're just fucking getting your rocks off, figuring it out, and literally, and the secret surface is outside your door.
Protecting you.
Nobody can come in and do anything.
That's probably the most...
That's why he's so relaxed.
I mean, that's why a normal person would never film themselves smoking crack.
You know, you fucking don't want to...
Yeah, but look what happened to Clarence Thomas.
Wasn't that the guy...
Or no, Rob Ford.
Remember Rob Ford?
The guy from Canada, the crackhead?
You got...
Shout out, RIP Rob Ford.
Why, is he dead?
Yeah, dude, he's dead.
Rob Ford dying?
Oh, yeah, dude.
Oh, man.
Did you ever see those?
He would be smoking crack and going and talking on TV.
He was a balloonist.
He was a little bit of a barian, barian Washington, D.C.
Yeah, he got called out.
He's still alive.
He's smoking crack.
I don't know about that, but...
How about there was two Chinese...
There was a Chinese police station, busted in New York City, that are like policing the Chinese people,
aside from regular police, like you're not being a good Chinese citizen.
United States police.
Yeah, not a US.
It was a...
They deemed themselves as a sovereign entity.
They made their own...
Yeah, they made their own police station and are only fucking with Chinese people that aren't being, you know, good Chinese citizens.
I heard about this.
Isn't that crazy?
Not really.
To me it is.
Why is it to you?
I don't know.
Do you think we have fucking police stations set up in other countries, policing just American people?
Yeah, they're called their fucking embassies and we fucking...
Come on, man, you're kidding me, right?
No.
You don't think there's some...
These are cops going around and fucking with regular everyday people.
And the funny thing is...
The embassy is only for out-of-towners.
These people are people that live here.
Yeah, but I'm just saying, that's our base of operations is the embassy.
Right, right.
You know what I mean?
We're sharing information.
They got their embassy and they fucking got police stations set up all over the fucking place.
It doesn't really shock you, though.
It's just crazy to me.
I mean, look at how people are treated in China.
Simply, they got a billion motherfuckers there too.
Isn't that crazy?
They're treated wonderfully.
There's a billion motherfuckers.
That's a lot of people, man.
Just as fucking...
The funny... like what?
Ask the new politicians, our US politicians, all those fucking people.
They'll tell you that the people in China are getting treated wonderfully.
Come on.
Oh, yeah, they're fucking liars, of course.
You know they're not, but they're a bunch of fucking assholes.
They love China.
Still communism.
That's what they want here, man.
No.
That's what we're gonna have.
It's never happened.
The fuck it ain't, man.
You believe communism's gonna happen?
Yeah, I do.
I don't think so.
Dude, we already had political prisoners.
People in prison.
And?
Well, that's fucking shit they do in communist countries.
Yeah, but you're talking... you're comparing apples and oranges with...
No, I'm not, man.
People sitting in prison not getting charged for fucking years.
But that's your only argument right there, okay?
That's a pretty big one, man.
That's a pretty fucking big one.
If I was sitting in fucking prison for no fucking reason, I don't think that would be cool.
Half the people in prison tell you they're not supposed to be in prison.
Yeah, but those motherfuckers are criminals.
I'm talking.
I'm talking people that are not even criminals, man.
What do you mean, though?
What do you mean, not even criminals?
Not even criminals.
Well, you have to elaborate on that.
You can't just say they're not criminals and they're in prison.
What did they do?
I bought all the fucking people from January 6th.
Oh, it always comes back to January 6th.
And what did I tell you?
I was out there selling grilled cheese.
Right.
And you're lucky you're not fucking locked up because of it, man.
I mean, do you really want to talk about January 6th?
No, I don't.
That's why I wasn't even saying it, but they're just a bunch of fucking assholes.
Who's assholes?
The government, man.
The fucking politicians, you know, everybody.
It's not even the politicians.
It's money, literally.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
It's money control.
It's just bullshit because they're the ones lying to us.
We have a...
Listen, I'm that left.
I'm that right.
I'm that center.
I don't care.
That's what I am.
You're not saying anything.
But here's the deal.
The person that is the president of our country is a buffoon.
Yeah.
He really is.
That's what I was saying.
The fucking guy is out of his mind and it's on video.
And we're not making this up.
Over and over every day.
You know what I mean?
Like, don't you think...
You're the fucking idiot.
Like, these are people that, like, our country voted for this person.
A 25-year-old...
I don't know about that, man.
A 25-year-old voted for...
I don't know if everyone was voting for him if they knew all the facts before they...
A 25-year-old votes for a 79-year-old or...
Whatever.
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't...
I mean, I don't know...
I'm not in tune with anybody.
Millennials, young people, you know what I mean?
I'm in my own bubble of what I do.
But you would think that some people would be like, hey, is this person competent to run
a country?
Even though he's not running a country, though.
He's a patsy.
He's not even competent to fucking read off the prompter.
And who knows if he can wipe his own ass?
I mean, they probably got the days in the White House.
So, and then you throw in the mishmash of Hunter, which is hilarious.
Yeah.
Or what's his name?
Hunter.
Is it Hunter?
Hunter, yeah.
Okay.
Hey, how about the fucking three days, three nights in a row this weekend, the fucking
kids going wild downtown in Chicago?
How about it?
They're not showing it on the news, you know why?
Yeah, they are, they showed it on the news all over the place.
Not on our fucking local news, man.
Yeah, it was all over the place.
It was?
Yeah.
Channel 9.
I don't have TV.
But how in the fuck would you know?
Because when I look at the fucking...
It was...
When I look...
Okay, go ahead.
When you look at your feed, it was there.
Yeah, it was fucking...
Channel 2 and Channel 5.
We're keeping it under wraps.
Needle's fucking saw it because he reads the internet.
But on the actual news, they're not showing it because they want to have the Democratic
National Convention here and they don't want to...
It's already coming next year.
Right, but they don't want to fuck out everybody.
Dude, the way...
By showing this, that's why they're not showing it.
Listen, do you know what's coming to town?
NASCAR.
Oh, wow.
Listen, NASCAR's coming to town, all right?
And it's going to be...
They're going to drive downtown and they're shutting down...
What do you mean drive downtown?
They're shutting the roads down...
They're shutting the roads down on the streets?
Yes.
Get the fuck out of here.
And they're shutting the roads down...
I thought NASCAR ran on a track.
Yes, but they do like these street races.
Oh, wow.
And they're going to fucking race downtown.
Holy fuck, man.
That is kickass.
Not really.
What kind of people are going to come to prey on these people?
Whatever, I'm not going to be there, but it'll be good.
Well, I'm just saying, think about this.
Do you know what I mean?
Are those M&Ms in your pocket?
Jesus, Larry.
Larry's eating on Mike again.
But, so these...
No, what kind of people are going to come and prey on them?
Hundreds of kids are running rampant in the city on a weekend.
NASCAR's coming to town on a weekend.
Holy people are on their tires beating the fuck out of them.
And two people got shot.
There's a video of...
You can actually see there's a fight breaks out.
Well, the fight breaks out.
People are like, oh, there's a fight.
Everybody rushes towards it.
All the other people rushes away.
You see, no, I see two muzzle shots and two kids got shot.
And everybody runs away, dude.
It is like a tidal wave.
Like all the kids run in and then they run back.
Dude, they were jumping on public buses.
And smashing those other people's cars.
The new mayor of Chicago said that, what happened this weekend?
It's because the kids have nowhere to go hang out.
They have no programs and we haven't provided them with enough outlets to suppress their anger and their issues.
I'm misquoting him.
I'm putting my...
Those paraphrasing.
Well, those are my words.
Yeah, that's called paraphrasing, you dumbass.
Larry, man, I'm going to hit you with a bottle.
It won't hurt though because you're drinking a fucking plastic pint of fucking Skull this fucking dirt.
Don't break the fourth wall, you ass clown.
What are you doing?
So, the only...
So when all these people come to town for NASCAR and they shut all these roads down, there's no traffic.
All of this is foot traffic now.
People...
So say you live six blocks away from where they're blocking off the road.
Now you have to walk six blocks and all these people know this.
Now robberies are...
It's crazy that they're bringing NASCAR to the capital murder capital in the United States.
Probably the continent or maybe this hemisphere.
No, just in the United States.
We are Chicago is the murder capital.
Mexico's got its beat, but...
I just said United States, you funook.
Jesus, dude.
You're not listening Larry. Larry's in Larry Land right now.
You're an ass clown.
What was that?
You're a major dickhead, that's what you are.
Get it together, you shrooming bastard.
Fucking guys over here licking the wall.
I'm turning over conversation with them.
But now, so why the fuck would you...
Why wouldn't NASCAR agree to come to the murder capital of the United States?
And you know it's a shame too because it is a fucking beautiful place.
It really is. I love that Chicago.
Man, the lakefront, north avenue beach.
Dude, the shed aquarium.
My wife's father used to have a fucking...
He used to live all the way downtown on Michigan Avenue.
That fucking place.
The innitles would be all fucked up in the top swimming pool.
It had the highest swimming pool in Chicago.
But now I'm sure it's beat.
Definitely, no, but at that time, 15 years ago, not even long ago, something like that.
It was fun.
And it just had a railing that was...
You could throw a tennis ball at the Hancock Center and hit it.
That's how close it was north.
You could see other people, you could see chicks sunbathing.
There's pervert Larry.
Listen to this, Mary.
I'm not the perv.
You're husband.
Fuck you.
Exactly.
I've already seen about sunbathing chicks Larry.
Remember how easy it was to see them all laying out?
People that were in the actual pool that lived there though were frightened of us when they saw us.
Well, yeah, because look at them.
Whatever.
They can't see us, but the people in the radio can't see us on the internet.
Well, I know. I've already described.
I want them to draw what you look like so we can hang it up in the post office.
That'd be hilarious.
And then we'll just like the Larry and Needle's podcast underneath it.
They're like, who put this up?
What's he wanted for kissing Bobby?
No, man.
Oh, that shit's hilarious though.
So, okay, Chicago, yeah, these mobs of kids.
There, go wow.
Wait a second.
No, no, no, wait. How are you going to solve it?
Well, you can't solve it. Here's what they're doing, man.
They're getting together on fucking...
Yeah, we just talked about this. I know.
That's how they're all knowing we're going to go.
It's like a flash bob or something.
Beyond that, because they're all lying and crazy.
But now, the problem is though, mob mentality.
Yeah.
Okay? When you get 20 people together, if one dude is one dude's a bad dude,
he can influence three guys, the other three guys will follow along.
You know what I mean? They're like lemmings, man.
Yeah.
And people get off on violence, people get off on that shit.
Fuck yeah.
And you remember when you were a kid, it's fun breaking a fucking window.
Well, but they have the mentality of going down there and this guy's carrying a gun.
Right, that's a different...
You know what I mean? Like, this guy's going down there and somebody bumped into me.
Now, I got a fucking op.
Somebody fucking looked at me, somebody said something to me,
and now a fight breaks out, two kids are shot.
And the problem is, is that the kids that are getting shot are young.
They're young.
Yeah.
14, 12, 13.
And the kids that are getting shot are just there for a good time, man.
They don't have a fucking beat.
But these guys are rioting, though.
They're not having a good time.
Well, it's fun for them, man.
The problem is though, how do you control kids?
You can't.
Seriously?
Yeah, I think there was only 15 arrests.
The police cannot do anything.
Out of all this shit, there was only 15 arrests.
No, yeah, nine adults and six kids.
That's fucking ridiculous.
But I mean, what can the police do?
And the best is now, remember the Democratic National Convention when they cracked skulls?
Yeah.
I wish I had more info on this, but back in the 70s, 69, Nixon, was it Nixon?
Oh, shit.
I have a retard.
Nixon, uh.
That's fine though.
So what happened was in Chicago?
That was Bobby Kennedy, man.
That was fucking Bobby Kennedy.
Oh, Nixon is, uh, which is amazing.
Larry just pulled out.
Nixon's a Republican, man.
So, the Democratic National Convention.
No, I don't know, man.
No, that was fucking Bobby Kennedy.
Oh, okay.
Then he got shot by Cyrans.
Cyrans, didn't he?
Fucking shot.
Yes, Cyrans, Cyrans.
Shout out.
No.
Horrible, man.
In the kitchen.
What are the odds about the Kennedys, man?
That guy was probably, Sir Hand was probably, he looked like a cool fucking guy.
He looked like a cool fucking cat, man.
I liked him.
I liked his look.
He looked like a smooth fucking dude.
And the thing was, I'm sure he was MK Altrud, man.
They fucking had that motherfucker under mind control.
Okay.
You know?
And here's the thing, when they talk to him, he's like, I do not remember doing it, and
I don't know why I did it.
When he, they say something or do something or hit some kind of electrical pulse, and when
they do this, man, you do whatever it is you're going to do.
And you don't even know you're going to do it.
You know what I'm saying?
They have those movies when they pick up the phone and they say a word, and then the guy
goes on the fucking screen.
And then the light switch clicks on.
And that's what happened with Sir Hand, Sir Hand, man.
You think that's allegedly.
Well, that's pretty much what I think, yeah, allegedly, because he literally did not remember
doing it.
Okay.
And he didn't want to do it.
He said, I have nothing against, I have no qualms with Kennedys.
But isn't that crazy?
But you know, Kennedys, man, Kennedys was like Trump.
They fucking hated Kennedys.
They didn't openly do it like they do it now.
That is the biggest conspiracy theory ever, the Kennedys, man.
Oh, man.
That is what the mother fucker wrote the head deals.
What was that?
Not the general, what the fuck is that called?
Well, in our last episode, I read out that fucking list of Kennedys facts.
Yeah, but what was his name?
What's the attorney general?
Attorney general.
He was the attorney general and fucking.
The AG.
Man.
And they both get smoked, man.
I'm the OG.
He was the AG.
Get smoked in the kitchen.
Yeah.
And they have it all on video.
Crazy, man.
Yeah.
They didn't like him, man.
They didn't like the Kennedys.
They knew that the Kennedys, the Kennedys, even though they had money and they were kind
of insiders, their dad was an insider.
These, the kids were fucking looking.
He's a big bootlegger.
Yeah.
That's how we started.
And fucking.
Big Joe, right?
Big Joe Kennedy.
And Robert Kennedy was, he went after the mob hardcore.
They fucking needed that motherfucker.
Well, what happened was.
Oh, they wanted him.
What happened was the mob.
It was easy for the government to blame the mob because.
No, what happened was Big Joe had the mob.
Back fucking go.
What do you call it?
I'm going after him anyway.
Oh my God.
I can't believe I forgot his name.
Fucking shot in the head.
Fucking.
Kennedy, which one?
Oh, JFK.
Yeah, JF, John F. Kennedy.
Yeah.
Yeah, but I can't, I had a fucking.
Motion.
John Kennedy.
Yeah.
So John Boy, well, not that's the other one.
John Boy is JFK Junior.
Yeah.
He died in a plane crash.
Well, supposedly.
Well, I'm just saying, dude, we just named three Cree.
The dad was shot in the car.
You know Hillary Clinton wanted to kill that motherfucker.
Listen, the Clintons got their own dirt.
They wanted to kill Kennedy.
Because Hillary and JFK Junior were going after the same fucking position in New York.
And when he died, Hillary got it.
And then we're all over the place.
So Big Joe gets fucking John fucking Bobby in there.
No, John elected with the mob.
Bobby goes at no, no, no, no.
And then fucking JFK appoints his brother to be the attorney general.
And then they go after the mob, which is, dude, you don't buy.
Dude, you don't bite the hand that feeds you, do you?
No.
I mean, that is a fucking.
So if they didn't kill him with the MK Ultra and Sirhan Sirhan, the mob would have fucking
got to him probably.
One way or the other.
Yeah, that would have been two glories.
He would have been either way.
But how about Robert F. Kennedy Junior, man, the guy with the fucked up voice?
How about Teddy?
He's pretty cool.
Teddy, he's kind of a dirtbag.
He killed somebody.
Yeah.
He killed a girl.
Joanna, Joanna.
I don't know.
Shit, I ca-capec-ed me.
Joanna ca-pec-ed me.
I believe you.
If you just pulled that Larry Kudos to you, brother.
I might be fucking high on shrooms.
You are.
You're not might.
You're beyond might.
So.
But the Kennedys have a weird thing though.
I mean, think about that.
Three.
Yeah.
A president shot.
It's almost like they're cursed.
A president shot.
And the fact is, last week he had a child die in the White House while he had one of his
children die.
John F. Kennedy.
Remember I said Lincoln and Kennedy both had a child that died while they were in the White
House?
No, I don't.
That was one of the facts from the last show.
Shit, man.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
You never hear about that.
Well, I wonder if they make a book of creepy facts.
Lincoln had a bunch of kids that died though because back then they used to piss in a fucking
little pot that they kept under their bed so everybody was having a piss shit pot.
Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.
Yeah.
Well, you might want to throw this, you know, because they had a.
They make a cholera.
They might get, you know, they got some weird sickle out.
So I think he had like seven kids and like two of them fucking lived.
Well, yeah.
Oregon Trail shit, dude.
Like, that was a Wild West literally back then.
I mean, the hygiene was so hard.
But he was even kind of rich and had a nice ass house like the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Yeah, but they weren't have plumbing indoors.
No, that's why I don't even like it.
They don't have fucking fucking bed, man.
No, they weren't wash it.
It was one of those things, a commode.
No, what?
A little house?
No, the thing that's a little, no, they had a little hand.
Yeah, and that wasn't a bedpan.
No, that's like when you're in the hospital.
This was a chamber pot.
Chamber pot.
Fuck yeah.
There you go.
Needles with the fucking pot.
I need three of them too.
Fucking scrambled motherfucking tickets.
You ever see your brain on drugs?
Well, look at Needles brain.
Yeah, I'm like, that's what it looks like.
It's just my face burned up against the skillet.
So they all had these fucking chamber pots.
And if you ever go to the house in Springfield, Illinois, downstate, you know, they have a
fucking homo Lincoln.
Like all, yeah, the Lincoln's Lincoln's house when he was after he was like making it.
Okay.
And you'll notice that the beds are extra high off the ground.
Like they're real high.
Prayers and shit.
And they had tall legs to keep the fucking shit hot.
No, because they all had the fucking chamber pot underneath their bed.
And then some, you know, some.
Dude, imagine that.
Made would come in the morning or whatever.
Maybe they did it themselves.
I don't remember.
And had to empty out the shit and piss.
Why wouldn't you just shit outside?
Well, because they were rich.
And that was what you did.
Listen, man, I shit outside all the time in a photo.
I mean, I was in a trader Joe's parking lot in the fucking city of their day.
Drop a shit in the fucking parking.
No, I went to the trade.
It was the, the Porta John.
Literally, there was a hundred car spots and there was a Porta John and cars were parked
right next to it.
People are like loading their groceries and I go to pick up this dude.
No, I'm not in there.
Oh, Jesus, the homeless going there.
It's fucking crazy.
I thought you said you had a job with dudes.
I did. Yeah.
And then I, my boys like, shout out big Zach.
He's like, the Porta John's over there.
And I see just like the top of it because it's orange.
And there's literally two cars parked next to it.
And there's people loading groceries.
I'm like, I can't shit there.
That's the craziest thing ever, man.
No, it's not funny at all.
You want to hear a funny story?
Of course I do.
Fucking dumbass.
I worked down, I was doing electrical work down in the city.
And by the way, like I said, in an episode or two prior, it could be just a Larry show
because Needles is an electrician and he's going to get fucking sad.
Jesus.
Why would you put that juju on me, man?
Well, I know you're drunk at work.
No, I'm not drunk.
Don't say that at all, man.
I'm kidding.
What are you doing, man?
You can't just say stuff and say I'm kidding.
Well, I don't know.
Well, if you don't know, then don't say nothing.
You're always drunk.
I'm not, what are you talking about?
I'm not drunk right now.
Oh.
Are you just...
You're streaking.
Shut up.
So I can't enjoy a beer?
This fucking guy, man.
I can't enjoy...
I give the guy mushrooms and he knocks me out towards my nose.
I can't enjoy a bottle of Skoll out of the plastic bottle.
Jesus, man.
So I don't even know what we were talking about.
I started thrashing me.
I love you, man.
I love you too, Larry.
You son of a bitch, dude.
All right, so, oh, JFK, all that bullshit.
I mean...
Teddy, though, he was just a straight-up drunk dirtbag.
He was looking to get laid.
But he had money, though.
Oh, yeah.
So when you were drunk...
They had fucking money to burn.
Dude, if you have cashier drunk dirtbag...
Dude, they had money left over from the fucking bootlegging days still, probably.
Yeah?
It's possible.
I mean, it is.
I don't know, man.
I mean, there's a lot of money.
I mean, dude, cook him on.
The guy fucking...
John John fucking crashes flying to a fucking place in Martha's Vineyard.
Yeah.
I think that...
I don't know.
You don't think Hillary planted a bomb in his fucking plane?
No.
They would have seen that.
Well, they're gonna report it because it's Hillary.
Huh?
They're not gonna report it because it's Hillary.
Is everything a conspiracy theory with him?
No, man.
Just when you're on mushrooms.
Conspiracy Larry on trumes.
We're gonna make you title music for that.
We're gonna put that behind.
But when it boils down to it, the people with money get away with whatever they want.
You get mad at...
Well, usually, yeah.
Would you really want to be the president?
No.
No way, man.
Would you want to be a senator?
No, man.
I wouldn't want to do that bullshit.
I love what I do.
Yeah, me too.
I love being an American.
Me too.
But...
But somebody's gotta be the president.
Well, those people hide behind the flag.
Man, that fucking shit is a tough ass.
Those people hide behind the flag.
That's what they do.
You know what I mean?
Like, they're untouchable.
Yeah.
It should be the other way around.
We're fucking Nazis.
We should be bullying those motherf-
They're not Nazis.
I think they are.
No, they're not Nazis, man.
They're just fucking self-centered, narcissistic people that wanted to do a lot better than
we did, and then they ended up in a position where they just do whatever the fuck they
want.
Kind of like what we do.
Yeah.
Except now that we are on the basement, smoking weed, and mushrooms talking about the government.
No facts.
No, no.
I wonder how much they make.
Oh, man, they fucking steal money hand over fist.
Look at Nancy Pelosi with the insider trading.
She has some fat tatties, dude.
She does better than fucking Warren Buffett and shit and trading with her stocks.
I still love it that her husband had a gay trist with a guy to hit him in the head with
a hammer.
Maybe there's an opening for you, man.
What do you mean?
To hit him in the head with a hammer?
No, no.
He's fucking...
To be gay?
No, man, for you to get with Pelosi.
Man, I bust her hip.
That's probably what she needs, and she can get painkillers for me.
Okay, Nancy, why don't you get the Maxi Cotton's comment and know you know the Purdue family.
I'm breaking all the fucking leg, bitch.
Who made the Sackler family?
Who made the Pills?
Pfizer.
Oxys, Pfizer.
Was it Pfizer?
Yeah.
I was hooked on those motherfuckers.
Oh, I love them.
Well, nobody asked, but okay, if you just want to tell the listeners.
Tell them about that time you got caught blowing a dude.
Ah, man.
You want to talk shit about me, bitch?
No, actually, I got caught getting blown by a dude in the house.
There you go.
That makes it not gay, right?
Oh, you was mean.
Oh, Jesus, man.
I got to look you in the eye when you say that.
I looked you in the eye and laughed.
No, that's reasonable.
This guy is slandering me.
It's like the story my dad told me when I was a kid about Mario the Bridge Builder.
I don't know who that is.
Yeah, he was this guy.
He went and built all these beautiful bridges like the Golden Gate Bridge.
Well, hence Mario the Bridge Builder.
Yeah, and then all of a sudden one day he sucked just one dick and he was known as Mario the
Cock-Sucker from then on.
He was almost finished fucking Mario.
I had to restrain myself.
So he said, how did he get caught though?
How did he get caught?
I don't know.
That's a part of the story.
I don't want to know.
He said, so be careful.
You could do a lot of really good things and then you do one bad thing to be known.
What's that called?
E-Sop-Tales or something.
Yeah, my dad, that was one of his E-Sop-Tales when I was a little boy.
Don't suck dick, Larry.
Well, no, you said you don't understand what that means, right?
I said, yeah.
The metaphor and he did it.
I said, he got known for just the bad shit and not the good shit and he said, exactly.
So fucking watch what you can do asshole.
Yeah, now go practice with little Nikki and the pervs in the face.
Now go write a fucking punk rock fucking masterpiece.
Talking about getting sexual with a neighbor.
Eight years old.
And we will do this because Larry was in a band with No Shirt Nick.
Shout out that they were called little Nikki and the perverts.
Little Nikki and the perverts and how old were you?
We were probably like, I was probably like nine or...
We probably talked about this before.
We definitely have, but fucking No Shirt Nick comes about eight.
Yeah.
And you did tell that story.
Yeah, we already talked about that.
We're going to get the tapes and we're going to fucking play them maybe after a show once.
Yeah.
If we can find them, do you still have them?
I don't know where they are.
They're somewhere in this fucking house.
The masters are somewhere.
They're inside your fucking, what was that called, that little play school?
Remember that little jam box they had where you put the tapes in?
No.
I had it.
I had this.
No, not at all.
You're just talking about what...
Yeah, they used to have one.
It was just like a little jam box and I'm just associating it with children.
I see.
Because you were little Nikki and the perverts.
I see.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But what I do have, man...
It's gonorrhea.
No.
AIDS.
Good guess, but no.
I got this fucking...
And he pulls out an R2-D2 that is about a foot salt.
It's a fucking vintage fucking...
Oh, holy shit.
It's an R2-D2.
It's a cassette player.
And it came with a Star Wars cassettes that fit under here.
No way.
That's pretty cool, man.
And look at this.
Is that a speaker on the top?
Yeah.
And there's a handle?
Yeah.
No way.
That thing's worth some money for.
Fuckin' right it is.
Whatever.
And it works too, man.
Oh, yeah.
Last step I listened to was Nirvana and the Adidas.
And you know what?
If we're gonna send you guys t-shirts, you gotta send me your wife's or your girlfriend's dirty
panties back.
That'll cover shipping and handling.
Nice.
Now that's a fucking dirty...
I don't want you to rub a tuna can on the crotch.
That's the kind of dirtbag I'm associating with.
But don't forget to include one for me.
Yes, darling.
Hi, Mary.
But yeah, that thing's pretty fucking cool.
How old is that?
The volume is on the side.
I'm not exactly sure.
I mean, this is definitely not a visual podcast.
Star Wars 8.
No, I know.
I'm just showing you.
It's a little R2-D2.
It's about a foot tall.
It's got all these buttons on it that control that it's from the 80s.
And you know what the problem is?
It used to be probably very bright white, but from us just ripping heaters and joints
and you know what I was telling you.
But you know what, it could be washed off.
It is brown.
It's just got a lot of dust on it.
It is brown.
When you brought it out to the light, it's literally tar-smoked.
R2-D2.
And it came with like a little fucking Star Wars story, you know, read like a children's
Star Wars book right there.
Does that light work in the front?
Yeah, I believe so.
Everything does work on it.
There's no batteries in there right now.
We should just record a bunch of racist shit on a cassette and make it say it.
Yeah, say it.
We didn't say that.
That was R2-D2.
It's the robots that entered.
Maybe there's batteries in this bitch.
I hope so.
I mean, don't get distracted later.
Yeah, dude, that can't fight now.
I'm a fucking spinning.
It works.
I gotta find that dead can- I got dead canadies.
Give me convenience or give me death.
Yes.
Holy shit.
Remember I texted you that picture that day?
No, I don't remember that at all.
I said, look what I found and it was like a couple of dead canadies.
Yeah, it was just you and three dudes.
Look what I found.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's as fucking-
Some guys that make Larry happy.
Even out of your homosexual fantasies.
Yeah, because that's what I think of you if I had homosexual fantasies.
You're an Adonis, Larry.
You're riding around your scooter.
Yeah.
Can I wear his fucking jeans when it's fucking July out?
Hey man, you don't see Fonsy walking around in shorts, do you?
Yeah, but it was-
When he jumped the shark, did he wear shorts?
Huh?
Did he jump?
That's what you wear, leather jacket and shorts.
Did he have shorts on when he jumped the shark or was he still wearing jeans?
I think you wore shorts.
I really do.
I think they were blue with some sort of piping around them.
And fucking-
We'll look that up.
Yeah.
Man, we need a producer.
Yeah.
Big time.
Man, but who wants to come and work with us and just smoke a little bit of-
We need a Billy or Jerry or whatever the producer's name would be.
Huh?
We need like a-
No shirt, Nick.
Oh yeah, well Nick's fucking busy, man.
Then we just have-
You ain't got time, man.
We should-
All right, let's not talk about our show.
Yeah.
We should talk about that, but we always want to introduce new characters.
We have a bunch of lively friends.
Yeah, but they had an alarm that went off was our timer.
I don't understand that, so please follow us.
Yes.
Subscribe.
We're going to start a fucking, what do you call it, a web address.
And we'll send you t-shirts, the first 10 people.
We're kind of proud that we got the five hardcore motherfuckers.
We had six, but obviously-
That guy's a fed up.
Yeah, he must have got offended by something, but that's-
Or maybe he died.
Actually, he'd still be a follower if he died.
Somebody has to unsubscribe.
But thank you for taking the time to unsubscribe.
I appreciate that.
That takes, you know-
Yeah, that takes a lot of-
Two key strokes, but hey.
You know?
I appreciate it.
It's a lot of work to put in there for us.
Especially if you're a fat guy.
I appreciate it.
You gotta take a breather after the first key stroke.
First key stroke, have a break, take a fucking break, have a cigarette, relax, have the second key stroke.
Hit enter, holy fuck.
Well, you mean you gotta have a heater in your hand too.
I have the whole time.
All right, you ready?
Peace.
Thank you.
We are Larry and Needles.
I'm Larry.
I'm Needles.
And thanks for tuning in.
Like and subscribe.
It just-
Larry and Needles.
I appreciate it.