time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show
alright here we are
yeah
hold on here you go ahead
here we are welcome to the Larry and Needles show
I'm Larry and I'm Needles
and uh yeah today we uh
I don't know we're having a fucking we're two idiots
I'll tell you man we can't figure out the
Apple Podcast address we cannot find it on the thing
but when we get that shit figured out we're going to be available
and even more
who shout out to our four followers
if I knew your names man I would shout you out the original four
fuck yeah four horsemen
you got the apocalypse
and then we can give them which ones are death and which ones
I forgot what the other ones are
but no shout out to people listening
also shout out to the guy in Belgium that fucking downloaded all 14 episodes
I don't know what you're doing in Belgium buddy
but hope you keep smoking buddy
and keep ducking the police
I heard there's a rough place to be arrested
you don't see those travel abroad things where they get busted with drugs
or would bust it abroad or whatever
they'll scare the hell out of me
well I mean
they do
well
we would be on tour with the band of course
we would have drugs and pills and fucking dope
I mean I think everybody knew what you meant by drugs
but if you want to break down everything you had that time
yeah that's okay
but you know and then you'd get real worried
when you cross certain borders like into Switzerland
from Germany by car and shit
well especially because you're American
you don't speak the fucking language
like dopers and fucking junkies
exactly so you know we get the royal treatment
which is true
but God forbid you get locked up in jail in one of those fucking places
and they're not speaking English you know
flying with like you know well some of them do cross the borders driving
yeah but locked up abroad that's what it's called locked up abroad
yeah locked up abroad
and fucking what do you call it
I think you said that
Turkish prisons
what is that from from my airplane
have you ever seen a grown man naked
you've ever been to a you've ever been to a Turkish bath house Joey
I mean that must ask you
you don't want to be saying that on microphone
you're gonna have the feds over here
yeah
but man you want to hear something crazy
so I was driving back home from work today
and I saw this family
and I mean I'm talking a family
there were two little kids
a lady
a stroller
and a dude
and he was panhandling
oh man
and they all had chairs
and like this whole setup that they were doing
and I don't really go over there
so I don't know like I haven't seen that area in a while
isn't that crazy
that you bring your whole family out
I mean does that really tug on people
it probably ups your fucking ante a lot man
well yeah I mean it talks on people's hearts
you see two little girls out there and rags
it was one boy and they were like playing
while the dude had a sign
I didn't get to see what the sign said though
it said we'll work for booze
why would you bring your whole family out there
I know I'm kidding
I know you're kidding Larry
but I mean that seems like a very tedious task
to bring your whole family out there to work for booze
I saw a guy in Philly that had a sign and said
I'm not gonna lie I need beer money
I fucking gave him a dollar
dude the first time I went to Philly I used to drive a truck
for this company
like for lawyers and they would have different
when they had cases in different states
I would bring all their shit
all their files all their like personal stuff
like exercise equipment
all their shit
and their whole office
well yeah
and then some
well yeah I mean they just had a lot of shit
but they were just very narcissistic
crazy but they were cool as fuck and they tipped a lot of money
so when I pull into Philly
the city of brotherly love
what's the first thing you think I see
a fight
literally
and Philly I mean it's definitely known
for its antics
I mean everybody
they seem to have a larger problem
I always had a great time there
I just went to Philly
it was amazing
I saw that podcast there it was great
well me and Frank
you know Frank with the beard
my buddy punk rock Frank
oh yeah the DRI show how was that
yeah I went to see DRI the best
oh it was great man those motherfuckers
tore ass it was the most violent
fucking punk show that I've been to
how many people did it see
no seats
oh shit I don't know that's a good question
but it was reggae
did you didn't see a maximum occupancy
I looked but I couldn't find one
I looked for if there was someone
went wrong in this place everyone would have died
exactly if they're doing pyro
there was no pyro
it's a joke lady you don't remember the great white
show yeah I do when they shut the fireworks
inside there's actual
video of it hey once you get that
heater from you got another one
no what the fuck you want it
yeah I would like a um
what do you got a smokes yeah
oh man what the fuck
fucking dirt bag
that's not right
that's why you love me
don't worry I'm making you jump
did you have to drive with Mary today
no I did not just down the street
no I didn't go I walked
she drove to my mom's house
they told her this is fucking ridiculous
I refuse to fucking get in the car
how far is it
well five houses away
there's three
or three or four houses in between
it's like come on
take 300 foot yeah 300 feet
if you were fucking doing a good run
during a football game like you're
Walter Payton you would do that
in like 30 seconds
well yeah you're comparing apples with oranges
yeah but I'm just saying she can't even walk it
I'm like are you fucking kidding
well you should tell her to take her keys and make her walk
well she made the excuse
that she made the excuse that
she needed to go to the post office
from my mom's house
Dave drove
I walked and Mary
well Dave doesn't
he was leaving from there
I mean it's a little bit different
which is funny but still Mary I don't know
trust her driving 300 feet sometimes
no
she just cranking them out
this thing got folded somehow
but here you could have this
here
light this ripped
light the ripped up end and shit
alright man I appreciate you
cranking mobile
so fuck yeah man
it was great because we went to
we went to
for anyone that knows the area we went to
White Castle on a 20 second state
afterwards
really? yeah
to needless to say we stuck out like a
fucking sore thumb but we had a good time
man we made some friends in there
we were talking and laughing and
I gave this kid
20 second in state what were you doing over there?
we were at Reggie's
well you never said that
we were at the DRI concert
oh you went after
after DRI we went to White Castle
fuck dude White Castle's the shit
yeah it was great I had three
I ordered four fucking sliders I only
ate three of them and I gave one to this kid
Frank ordered eight fucking
doubles Frank's a beast
he's a skinny guy shit
he's a skinny motherfucker but
he ate
seven of them and gave
so we gave two hamburgers to this kid
and
I gave him
french fries, onion rings, fucking
empty cup to get to
yeah I think everybody knows
White Castle oh yeah you're right
maybe they don't know about you
yeah shout out Belgium again
and Nigeria too
however that guy listens to us in Nigeria
you definitely stay away from the police
they don't fuck around out there
you're gonna get us
and fucking indicted for some hate crying
so we were needless to say
we ended up we spent about an hour
in that White Castle
oh okay so we hate there and everything
okay so what kind of okay so wait a second
I know the area for the listeners
it's a little bit poverty stricken
not poverty stricken but
it's low income
low income definitely
so it's a place that you sometimes
in the hood definitely yeah if you don't
have a good attitude and you're not a
likeable guy you're gonna be fucking
jacked up in a second yeah you're gonna end up
in a little bit of trouble over there
not recommended for like out of town
or yeah
if they're cool listen man you want to try
White Castle I wouldn't recommend that one first
I can give you a couple
ones in the suburbs
that you won't have to worry about losing
your wallet right so
but okay
okay so you want the Regis
Regis is cool yeah Regis was fucking great
man and uh that was a DRI
show I mean how old are those fucking guys
they gotta be their 60s
no I figured Kurt the singer and Spike
the guitarist those both the two original
guys are probably
my age
which is you know
this is in fucking
or maybe like a year or
two older at the most and uh
so but you know the weird part
was is the singer
fucking
only saying half the show
and then the kid the two there was
two backup bands and the kid from both of them
shout out to break the cycle
they were real good they're from Chicago and then
the southern band they were from New Jersey
they were called paralysis they were real
guys I like that that's not a paralysis
they were really fucking cool too and um
yeah these kids fucking
they were young kids you know and they were
fucking shredding
man really just kicking ass
yeah young yeah yeah
and so the lead singers
from both of those bands plus some other
guy that I just guess was friends of
DRI took turns
singing the whole rest of the show so they had
like four different guys
hey man we listen were you been singing that your whole life
yeah it was it was still
fucking amazing probably having fun
indulging in things and you know
you don't exactly I don't know anything about
DRI I don't know anything about the singer
well the singer was at the merch booth all
the whole time selling
t-shirts and records and hats
and that's hands-on yeah so
it's a good approach to things they had
these cool fucking uh
skateboard
you know
yeah man with the running man
yeah it was cool man it was
cool and kids were buying it like crazy
it was really a
really a good gig it was really good it
was packed out man it was fucking
sold out to the max where'd you stand
we were all over the place
I didn't get in the mosh pit the band
the first band break the cycle
their fans
he even warned the people he's like this is for
all you old school motherfuckers
um
our younger fans they like to do
karate moves karate moves
yeah so during why would you say that out loud
well because when the mosh pit
started these motherfuckers started throwing
kicks and punches and started
fighting man like kung fu fighting
I was like holy shit man
how many people in the mosh pit?
dude it was the most amazing
mosh pit I ever saw and where was it
right in front of the state
you know how it is like three rows of people
watching and then the mosh pit behind them
well that's uh that's the worst
that's the last thing I wanted a mosh pit behind me
yeah it was really fucking dangerous
yeah you think you're not paying attention
some people
why would you say that we
you ever been in the big room at regis they got stairs
going up both sides
it's been a minute since I've been in the regis
so I was on the first
landing on the far side
so you weren't even close to the pit
no but you know the place even up there
you're only 20 feet away from the band
it's a very small place
you were close to the pit as in
no no no I couldn't even
have gotten an accidently hit
I was so far away
right yeah I was way too fucking
old to fucking get mad
all the violence got you all worked up
and it was very low and low
and it was funny because it was a bunch of like 19
and 20 year old kids
and then a bunch of people my age
because DRI is old you know what I mean
well I understand man
so you could see guys trying to put 30 rotten imbeciles
yeah yeah
it was fun for the old man's
thing though you know what I mean like
that's a young man's game
rock heaven for a second though
it was fucking fun
how long did they play?
pretty long though
well the show started at
like 7 and it ended at midnight
damn it's a lot of fun
actually it ended around 12-15
and it was funny too because
the guitarist says
at the end before the last three songs
he's like hey
we're gonna get the fuck out of here and there's not gonna be an encore
this is the encore
at least he's fucking open
yeah he's like we're too old for this shit
well yeah I mean what the fuck are they gonna stay
he's like we'll be back next we'll see you guys next year
yeah alright thanks man
hopefully you're all still alive
so I'll fucking go see them again
and it's funny too because I saw him originally
in 1983
and it was their 40th anniversary
2023
so it was like a big deal this
tour you know
I mean if you're into punk rock
now who's not
I know I know
I know you are
and you know we listened to the whole way there
we listened to DRI and shit but on the way home
the whole time we listened to Murphy's Law
and it was fucking fun
that's because of Ramones
we heard a little Ramones too
Spike the guitarist from DRI
had a Ramones t-shirt
and of course I had my
trusty Ramones hoodie on that I have
on every single fucking day
and I don't change
you go two weeks without changing your clothes
that's not good for a grown man
nah it's not true don't let my fucking
listeners think I'm that much of a fucking
you are a dirtbag with that mustache especially
we've already come to this
yeah so hey Tony
Tony goes to me
oh you look like the uncle
that lets the
nephew drink and fucking
smoke while you take him to the fucking horse track
and bat with him
that was pretty funny
and so I told my family that yesterday
at Easter and
my brother reminded me that last time
we were having a little family get together
that I tried to get my nephew to pedal weed
for me to his friends
tell him how old your nephew is at this point
oh he's only I think he's 20
yeah so he's not a child
but my brother still fucking thinks
you know Larry
that I was way out of line
I didn't think I was that far out of line
kind of
I mean you're telling your kids
your brother's kids to smell weed for you
I just asked him if they fucking smoked weed
and that I had some good shit that I grew
I was gonna fucking give it to him
and my brother was all like
you think?
this doesn't shock you
not at all right
I don't know shirt Nick
he was going yesterday I told him
man you saved this shit motherfucker
because he was yelling at me and going
I know I told him you gotta save this shit
for the podcast
brother because you gotta come on as a guest
no he could defend himself
we can talk to him
you gotta defend yourself
when this motherfucker comes on man
since he takes his shirt off I'm standing over there
that's when it's time to party
he's like Randy when Randy takes his pants off
right it's time to fucking party
someone's gonna play some yacht rock around here
someone's gonna fucking
someone's getting a cheeseburger
fucking key tower comes out of you
yeah
oh shit
aw man
so we'll edit that silence out
that's fine we can work with that
there's nothing wrong with that I'm just looking for a lighter
and I got this whole I got the mobile over here
the crack baby
there's never a shortage of lighters
so funny I'm looking at your set list up here
mm-hmm and you have a song
let's go Brandon
so funny
awake not woke
another is that another re-endition
of rendition of let's go
Brandon
nah nah man it's a totally down three times
it's a different one
oh no yeah there's two
you know what I did those are all the
songs off all our albums
and there is two versions of let's go Brandon you're right
no to the listeners Larry just pulled out
a ziplock bag full of M&M's
he's gonna start eating on Mike
so it's not me
aw man
I'm gonna call your ass out
but I'm gonna eat you real quiet about it
isn't it crazy I thought they were gonna
take a picture of Trump
because when he got indicted that would have been great
you know what's merch he would have sold
it would have been a great t-shirt
he would have made billions off of that t-shirt
the left would have bought it and the right one
that's a win-win situation
and the government's like nah
we're not gonna do that
we're gonna quote unquote
Trump up these charts
but we're not gonna let you get your
fame think about it
that would be amazing I can't remember the last
president I was reading about it
who was indicted
I don't think it's ever been a president
indicted ever it was one
no man I really don't think so
well I mean we're not
exactly having anybody to fact check
aw fuck man you got me
I'm a factual motherfucker
man
motherfucking
I nobody knows the facts like I do
yeah okay
you forget them a minute later
you might know them but they're gonna be gone
you know jumped up on sugar
no I'm pretty damn sure
I'm pretty damn sure that
he is the very first
indicted president
we were meant to ask Mary
oh she's upstairs
I can't go ask Mary
I mean
I think there was a president
that was indicted
for fucking Nixon was
wasn't he I mean other
no Nixon was impeached but
yeah Nixon was impeached fucking Clinton was impeached
and he resigned
yeah that famous fucking
Nixon resigned so that was what he did
Nixon giving double P
signs what a fucking
I am not a crook
that's what he says like
who's the best though is what Nixon did
ain't shit compared to what the fucking
did now did that yeah I believe so
well I mean he was underneath the helicopter
I thought so how could they hear him
I believe that was one of his quotes I am not a crook
yeah I don't think he was saying it as he was
maybe not at that precise moment
what is that called Air Force 2 the helicopter
yeah I think it thinks bad ass
well no no no Air Force 2 is the one
that the vice president goes in
oh is it yeah
a helicopter is called
Marine 1
maybe or something like that
now you're just guessing
no it's another name like that
okay yeah
not Air Force 1 but
Marine 1 or something did you see that shit about
Biden fucking
at the Easter thing no what happened
dude there's a video
last year the Easter Bunny needed to
get rid get him
steer away it was like the video
there's video of it and he like looks
like he's like running away from his wife
in the Easter Bunny like they're trying to get him
he's like walking a secret service
guy puts his arm out to like help
him and he's just he's oblivious
to the fact I have the only time I've
ever seen this well that was last Easter
though no that was just this
the other day yesterday was it
on Sunday because he did the same thing
last Easter this guy's a buffoon it
sounds like I mean if you're doing
fool me once but you know
the Easter Bunny needs to fucking
get guide the guy around because he doesn't know
where to go but he got scared it looked like
he's probably hallucinating
it was it was on the page today
it might have been a callback to last
Easter but I don't know it looked like
it I don't know it could have been I don't
fucking pay attention yeah yeah but this guy
still funny regardless either way
this guy's controlling the country
I mean he's really not right I mean
he's in the fucking you know he's supposed
to be he's in the backseat in like a
special fucking chair just like
like a baby chair before
adult yeah
he's just sedated strapped in just they
just sedate him like here's some
Sarah quills go night night for a little big
job right but this guy's
running the country which is so funny
like we like
we have video
of what's going on the antics that this
guy does it's more scary than funny
well there should there be there should
be an age limit on the government right
on the presidency or at least
some kind of tournaments also
and the competency limit well yeah
I mean you know some kind of test
who isn't mentally ill nowadays
who isn't mentally ill nowadays everybody's
I don't think there's anybody that's
not mentally ill well yeah
I mean depending on their trauma
right right I mean
it just depends how you handle it
well you get off your meds
that's not good yeah but some people
can handle it without their meds
some people can't we don't need meds
we're mentally ill yeah
I mean I wouldn't mind them
now they're just tough to get
they just hand them out like fucking
gummy bears dude
all these fucking crackdowns are bullshit
no I'm kidding man no you're not
you're right I'm not
go get a fucking tooth pull they give
you fuck it four pills five
pills five pills
it's like okay
oh man they looked at my
I'm not looking to start a habit
I got like 12 fucking teeth
pull one time and
they didn't give me anything because they looked at my past
record and they're like ah sorry dude
sorry dude
you're lucky I have a nitrous tank at home
doc
I'm just gonna make balloons
all night we should
drag the tank down here and do a tank episode
sure that would be funny
I'll let you tank it up
I was working at a job
at an old doctor's office
yeah
it was like we started at six in the morning
and I'm like up on like a
12 foot ladder I'm putting some boxes in
and putting pipe up and shit
and the dude
fucking big Zach
shout out big Zach
big bodybuilder dude
and I'm like up on this ladder and he's like oh what are these
and they were tanks and he's like oxygen
oxygen
nitrous nitrous
I was like whoa what'd you just say
he's like these two are nitrous I'm like kick ass
to fucking call up Larry
he was like eight in the morning
I was like Larry you gotta
drive 40 minutes away to come and pick up these
two nitrous tanks I got there in a half hour
these are fucking
medical grade
fuck big ones the fucking
five fucking fours man
so now our friend has them in his garage
yeah
the grateful dead people would fucking
love this shit man
it's stuff fun man
it's okay though it's fucking
you just get that hangover from it
but yeah one day my brother scared the shit out of me
with it he told me what it does
to you it looks like pinholes in your brain
yeah I already got enough pinholes
yeah but you're
listen man
you've made it past the threshold Larry
I guess so
yeah right but 100
something from
scag
yeah
but it doesn't mean because you
survived something like that that you should
continue fucking yourself on
well no come on
I mean there's not you can't
I could figure out better and you know what
drugs aren't even drugs we always say this the drugs
nowadays aren't even real
it's just some concoction
they have fucking culminated
to
copy the effects of what we were used to
yeah that's true
it really is there's nothing good about what's going on
right now they eased out heroin
and made into fentanyl
even the pain pills and now they put fentanyl
and everything and a kid wants to do a little
partying he thinks he's gonna take his antics
he fucking dies
it's crazy it's just why would you put fentanyl
in cocaine they put fentanyl
in cocaine that's so weird like that
that doesn't like it goes against
everything killing your customers
yeah you know what I mean
the problem is it hasn't killed enough
young white kids
well it has though
I mean you know remember that thing on
YouTube that fucking show that heroin
highway thing about 290
oh yeah yeah yeah
290 Eisenhower Expressway that goes
back and forth for all you that aren't from
Chicago and goes back and forth
from the western suburbs to the west
side and all the way down
it goes all the way down to the city
you only take it so far
there's about a 4.5 mile
exit spree of where you can
go left or right and get
drugs whatever you want
ladies of the day ladies of the
night and depending on what time you
go you know the right people you see a dog fight
yeah
but buy some
fucking fruit off the guy selling
other pizza truck the Ducal
mangoes there in western
fuck yeah there's just an Hispanic
gentleman just selling fruit
people you know what yeah it was
fucking very colorful area but
very cool and very you know
top as well
a lot more was going on
but as we
a previous guest pointed out
it's not the way to live
yeah
definitely that
fucking well are we past
our time later no man that was
that was alarm for the
cat food outside and it's set for
winter time so
dark out right now normally
I know it's getting nice and it's beautiful
out today man it's like really
is nice out man I fucking need 75 degrees
or so
78 degrees whatever
all the time hell yeah
but here we are in the basement
just talking shit and being an idiot yeah
but yeah it was real
nice man the weather
today I was like finally fuck
but don't worry it'll be like 30s
next week or something yeah I always
do that bullshit it's gonna fuck around
probably fucking snow again it gives you
a little fucking taste and then it takes it right away
you know yeah
fucking taste a hundred worse than done
at all baby
and that's
just how it is
and now the fucking pool is gonna be
delayed no I'm not we'll be
alright man well
we'll be out of commission we're gonna get
that shit rocking in the beginning of May
okay
that's fine man we need a place
to fucking center our white trashness
yeah so we'll be
in a pool we will be
and it'll be good
oh man we were at fucking
Costco me and Mary and we saw
a fucking
raft if we would
it would have filled the whole pool
it was called a lily pad I think it was like
two or three hundred bucks
and it was fucking huge
you had to anchor that bitch down
you know what I mean when it gets windy out of
being the neighbor's yard
it'll fly away it looks like it's made
for like a lake or something
nobody has a pool this big but it was
really funny it was cool
circle? no it was
the shape of the pool too was rectangular
and I'm like man this motherfucker
would literally fill the pool
from all the while
that's some hillbilly shit there
yeah that's what I was thinking
oh man that would be so fucking hilarious
you just laying on the raft people are swimming underneath
you can't even get in the water
they're trapped in the water
like look at these two idiots
all catamines swimming underwater
aw man
so one time my dad
I would tell you
when we first got the pool and we got that cover
and stuff and I told my dad let's you want to
you know stay in there and I'll
cover it no what are you doing to your dad
and so he did
he said yeah I'll try it
and I did it
and he's like okay I can hear him yelling alright open it
and he's like holy fuck
is that scary yeah you can't
I don't know I wasn't gonna lock
my dad in there no obviously
no but the thing got stuck I would have cut it open
like Rambo with a fucking
with what a knife
you're not the most agile fella
you'd have probably put the full
busted your hip again
get the fuck out of here I am the most agile fella
yeah maybe in Boys Town
fuck you
the only reason I
fucking fell that day is because I thought
I was on the bottom and
I was on fucking a bunch of dope
man I was so high
I wouldn't have fucking fell if I wasn't
fucked up
but you did yeah first day
of summer
was it
the first day the pool was open
oh yeah
Jesus I don't even remember
see I was so fucked up at that time
of my life man
it was not a good time right no it wasn't
it was a fun time I was getting high
in the hospital and I almost got caught
every single fucking time
yeah cause
they come walking in
and I'm like these motherfuckers have to have a camera
because
it was really crazy how the timing
happened every time I was just like what the fuck
man
or maybe you were just so fucked up you didn't realize
it I don't know
yeah exactly the timing
might not have been off it was just you were so high
that you didn't know what was going on
you're like how you feel I feel great
there's nothing worse than doing
drugs in a hospital
well something to do
well they come in and you're fine
and then like eight hours later somebody
comes and visits you and you're knotting out
in a hospital bed
for six hours
and then they can just take blood
and do whatever they want
yeah that was the last thing they said to me
when I left
they had dope habit in the hospital
and then that's the last thing they said to me
when I left I'm like okay you know okay
everything's fine you know you can go home
okay but we got a deal with one more thing
and I'm like what's that and they're like you need to go to
like rehab and shit I'm like oh fuck
man
I don't know who you are
I don't know who you think you are
and I was like oh no I'll be fine
which was totally further from the truth
you're like I'm just gonna go
sit in this broken hip and get high
and I did fucking pull myself out of it
eventually and go yeah that was a fucked up time
just laying there
with a busted hip
fuck me
now's a good time but
you survived
now you got a busted hip
oh fucking still hurts
it was a digger
it was kind of funny but
until you see how bad you were hurt
thank god Chris came over that night
like midnight out of the blue
and he never usually did you know
all of a sudden
I realized I do need to go to the hospital
it's been like 14 hours
and I still can't get up
if he wasn't here to help me
to the car I would have never been able to get to the car
and then when I went to the hospital
I was so fucked up
and
I was so high
it's always great to show into the hospital
just like
the doctor was
visibly fucking mad at me
I'm like fuck
I had my Keith Richards for president t-shirt on
fuck
look at this idiot
just but
and they said how did you get here
and I said I got here under my own power
yeah bullshit
and they're like get the fuck out of here
I know you didn't somewhere how did you get here
and I said my friend helped me into the car
my wife drove me here and then she went and got a wheelchair
and I got myself
out of the car and into the wheelchair
and they're like oh my god we can't believe it
you fucking
you fucking washing the floors
just all hunched over
you don't know what that is
once you're in the wheelchair people don't know what's wrong with you
so it's okay
nothing better
than if you go into a hospital
in a wheelchair
just way high
like literally they can't give you anything
they couldn't give you anything
for like five days
you have to wean them
you have to wean yourself off
and they probably wouldn't even give you drugs
oh man
like they would oh my god
thank god you have good friends
you're bringing me dope while I'm in the hospital
such good friends
I'm telling you that's gotta be the best
I told Mary I said call
so-and-so you know I won't say the name
thank god Mary
tell her to go down and she's like
what and I'm like yeah you gotta
I don't think I'm gonna
she's like I don't know
that's not a good idea
I didn't ask you
what you thought
here's a phone number
go call this guy
we don't pay you to think around here
here's a phone
make a phone call
I'm telling you that's gotta be crazy
yeah
to fucking sober up in the hospital
they're like oh look at this
Mr. Sand, oh Mr.
Larry
oh man check this out
shout out to my nephew Alex
he's the fucking best
he's already you know me and needles are having problems
trying to figure out this shit to get in on
we're gonna get divorced
Larry and I aren't getting married anymore
we can talk shit but we can't really
work the computer all that well
so fucking
my nephew
he's leading us to the right
I actually check this out
okay how about let's do this out off Mike Larry
yeah man it looks like he sent us the same
thing I might have already done though
okay well let's figure that out
we'll figure it out but yeah it's cool
for him to get back to me
the poor guy in Belgium doesn't want to hear you talk about that
how fuck you man
shout out Belgium
fucking hilarious
ah shit
we're back here's what happened man
we're I gotta
we're gonna have a timer
for our
you know so we know how long we're doing our podcast
and I also have a timer for the cat food
outside yeah cause Larry has how many outside cats
I have a few outside cats
how many Larry six seven
and so you know
probably more
and so if I don't bring the cat food
in before it gets dark
then fucking raccoons and possums and all this
bullshit starts showing up so
and literally he's gotta fight him
save the cat food container
and it's fucking brutal
so
you know we thought that was the end cause we're such
fucking stoners
well you're the one that didn't say anything
well no I did
I hear an alarm and I'm like what the fuck Larry
oh I said it's for the cat food
yeah
we were only in like 15 minutes
too not an hour
went by right that's not good man
exactly
a full sense of reality there
for a minute that completely threw me off
but that's okay
um
so I got a new toy
I got a new keyboard
oh yeah
digital piano
yeah it's fun
uh huh
my brother's been teaching me giving me lessons and what not
you fucking taught yourself how to play piano didn't you
yeah but he's
he shows me stuff too you know
and
you know I just took what I already knew
from the guitar I've been playing guitar since I was
fucking nine years old so
I
already kinda was familiar I'm familiar
with music that's not the thing
tickle on the ivory? yeah exactly
tickle on the ivory this is a whole other thing
now I got to unleash
my Liberace side
yeah he did I bat man let me tell you
robe with nothing on underneath it
sequence bro
you're just glistening
in a fucking strobe light to spin it around
maybe a disco ball fucking
yeah I love you yeah man
and a disco ball fucking
jockstrap yeah but you are
on your nuts you can just
wang your dick around on it
you're just like a helicopter in it around
fuck yeah oh that's how you play some of those more
complex chords
naked with a robe with your dick
with an extra finger
you have to have a little helmet
for it
it gets a little rough on it
it's what you're into
people pay for that stuff so it's been fun
playing around with that thing my old one
yeah the velocity
something happened with it
so it doesn't have any touch sensitivity
but we're still gonna use it
I'm not throwing it in the garbage
what are you gonna use it for hit someone
well no the other keyboard
sounds that one has a lot of different
keyboard sounds on it
this one here yeah the one in the basement
yeah the upstairs one is more
simple but it's got a lot of keys
right Larry how many 88 keys baby
black and white
all black and white
ebony and ivory
actually I have
a piano at my mother-in-law's house
with it's so old that it's
actual ebony and ivory
the keys are? yeah it's got ebony keys
and the fucking
coating on the white keys is ivory
which is obvious yeah which obviously
they haven't done in
years because
they don't really look at killing elephants
for the tusks is a cool thing
in which I really don't either
how many fucking tusks you think it takes to make a couple keys man
well you know they're using thin veneer
it's not like the whole
the key is not solid ivory
it's not solid ivory
it's just like coating on a
wooden key
it's like on top of it
I know it's got like a sparkly thing to it
I think I've seen a couple of them
and like a VFW haul
some of this one polish
basement we went to where they had like a huge
wetting and shit
there might have been some sparkly keys that were plastic
because this really they don't look sparkly
they look more yellow than they do
white you know
they look like teeth they look like teeth that are
yellowed a little bit that's true
oxidizing they can't do so much
and plus it's cool too
because
I don't know it's just what they did in the old days
I don't think it makes it better
but you know it's cool because this piano
it's all worn out and shit and
it's the same piano that Mary's mom
learned how to play on as a little kid
oh what the fuck are you gonna put that
I don't know upstairs somewhere
Jesus Christ that's all you need is a piano
well shit man I'm not
throwing in the garbage
we can put up the
now it's beautifully out of tune it does sound
like a honky tonk bar
fucking just rocking away
we can start a brothel in this place
fuck yeah
right down the street from the other one
oh yeah we'd be the team
we'd have to watch out I forgot about that
my friends would be talking about that
we might have a visit from some fucking killer pimp
some goons
some goombas say hey
this is our fucking turtle
sorry we just live here
we run the whores around here
the whoos
so I gave up too much location
the whoos run out of needle's house
hey what the fuck is that
that's fucking egregious
that's slander
I'm gonna go get my lawyer
what the fuck was that
ah shit man
just saying that stuff on the airwaves
that's not cool
that was
he's running whoos all over
that's one of those things where do you get high on your own supply
or you don't
well if it's whores you have to
I mean you can't just be banging them after a night out
well you got your bottom bitch
I mean do you but like
are you the first one to bang them every day
get them warmed up
well no get yours in first
cause they've had like
hopefully they had a couple hours to sleep
oh god
that's fucking sick
I'm just asking you something rhetorical
or cause you don't want to go at the end of the day
you're real sick oh then
they got a sleep standing up so they drain
oh
it's big of like
sitting a chair
a chair with screen
or some kind of grain
oh I don't even want to use a ring
spaghetti strainer so the shit comes out
yeah like there's a ring in there
roach clips
well with the feather on them
yeah
did you get it to carnival
carnival roach clips
so let's shit over
I remember people having those clips down the vise
hey I wonder why I get pulled over
and they fucking search my car for weed
I don't know you got a roach clip hanging from you
fucking near you idiot
put feather on it
I don't know what kind of bird that is
yeah exactly
died seven different fucking weird coffers
yeah dude this one was rainbow
exactly
what bird is that from mother butter
you pull down the
you pull the visor down hit the guy next to you
in the face
like you're gonna use that thing
or just driving around there they're hippy what the fuck
exactly
and then they'd use it and that's when the cop
knew to pull you over
there's the guy that always has the roach clip hanging
and now it's not hanging
no not anymore
man
yeah because it was so repressed
to fucking remember the drugs
I like when the kids would fucking put
the garter around their rear view mirror
hanging like after oh yeah it's like where did
you get that from your purse from or wedding
or something I don't know
what the fuck where did it is true I
haven't seen that a while where did they
get that that's what I mean
I mean yeah I got
I got some pussy once
and she just happened to have a garden
I mean come on
she was a real whoo
doesn't sound like it she had a garden
miss kitty from gunsmokers
something I mean obviously
we're the one they do that at weddings
yeah well dude I got married you know
that the brides the best man used to do it
take the
yeah yeah
the Nick crazy
my boy going down on
your wife it's a little rough
coming coming the guys probably had fucking
thirty my fucking best man was no shirt
Nick I wouldn't fucking do that
fuck
that's a little weird
keeping it in the family that's too much
and he's
have to take a shirt off too I mean Mary
of course she's gonna get the
well he did he did have a shirt off already
it was hot out
it was a late
August day
fucking hot as hell
hey enjoy life right yeah he had a
he had a shirt off man
he had a shirt off in a
tuxedo collar and tie
like a chippin' ale
what
are you high are you sure Larry
nah he didn't say that sounds very fictitious
but we didn't have all tuxedos
and bullshit like that
that would be funny if you had the cuff links
you know
just a bow tie
with the cuffs on it
spandex pants
like oh what was that on Saturday night live
you ever see that with that this way
it's even too farly yeah yeah yeah
that's what reminds me
yeah
yeah that's funny
still near the ring
I don't remember
the skit all glistened up
that's alright though
Jesus this thing's got a lot of
lighters on it yeah man
crack baby's gotta have fun
I don't hear about
crack baby's that much
nah there's no such thing anymore cause
I was reading this thing that
the crack is gonna start making a comeback
what is crack yeah because of
all the bullshit
no they have more hat to acres now
for cocoa production
in uh
columbia I think it was
yeah
and so now there's like an insurgents of
pure better cocaine
hitting new york right now on the east coast
like five dollars a hit for racks
wow
but
I don't know they put fentanyl in the shit
yeah and
in Argentina though man
we partied heavy
you're in south america
why wouldn't you one in Rome right
I mean literally I'm sure
when I lived in Mexico you could
get it wherever you wanted you know what I mean
and you know what the thing is is they don't even
I don't believe they don't even fuck
around they don't know about fentanyl
dude it was crazy man
do they
like in Buenos Aires
Argentina or like Santiago
well when it comes over it doesn't
but somebody steps on it eventually
and you think they're putting fentanyl in it
down there well yeah where do you think it's coming from
the fentanyl ferry but I think
some other fucker just flying in I think they're sending it
north what do you mean
oh what is the people can get all of
that shit it doesn't matter where it all
comes from one place and people step
on it yeah you know that yeah
I mean if you go to the
source it's gonna be a lot better
but nowadays everything
is getting mixed with it
yeah you don't hear like I mean I'm sure if you looked
up in Mexico I mean how fentanyl
death they have it's probably
less than we do you would think
a lot less we're just a gluttonous
drug fucking country
we're a greedy little drug
we do like 90% of the fucking drugs
we do like 90% of the
fucking drugs oh the best
is everybody claims
they're like oh Mexico
drugs and they're like yeah but we want them
right if we couldn't get them then we wouldn't
there wasn't such a demand for this shit
we're gonna be away now you know what I mean
you can get drugs off the internet
you go to dark web you can find shit
and even on snapchat and shit like that
people sell stuff
you gotta be crazy to do that
there was a kid that just died
he bought some good student
fucking bought some shit off a snapchat
but one of my boys
one of my boys has got
a fucking roller
that's where he met
his guy and his guy's shit is
flame that kind of mean is good boy
yeah but
and I don't do a lot of it
keep on keep on
we're adults
man these kids don't know what the fuck
kids don't know what the fuck
they're doing it's way more
fucked up you know
it's just fucked up nobody knows what they're doing
no I guess nobody really
does do they unless you the guy
fucking producing it it's not like
getting drugs from a
from the whole the house
I knew that shit was good
that was shit was better than anything there is right now
their whole house shit
their household shit is fucking great
their household
hand shit
but you know back then you didn't have to worry about that
and we were like what somebody
fucking OD'd you would go
where'd you get that shit from
fucking hilarious
drug piggies
fucking funny though
where'd they get that I'll just do a little less
yeah I remember
you go down there and there would just be cops sitting
you know what I mean like
yeah but who cares
what do you mean who cares it's a good story
okay go ahead then
no I'm just saying it's just a good story
thanks Larry
that's what I need is to go ahead for me
where's this going
oh yeah well then
well I mean fucking A
stop my story
wasn't even a story
oh shit
I was just stating the fact that the cops would be there
yeah you know what's funny is
what's funny Larry
every time I listen back to one of these episodes
or something when I'm doing the editing
and the phone fucking goes off
to let me know that
and I think I start
looking for my phone
I never know where it is of course
but it tricks me every time
it tricks me every time
you knew
it's not for cat food there's only two alarms you have
right now one's for cat food
for the outside cat
and the other one is getting close to the end of the podcast
right not that much Larry
you get confused very quickly
says you mother fucker
oh says me
yes I just did say that
man you're like I'm gonna get my glasses
for what we're just sitting across from each other
I can't see you you can't see me
no well now I can
now I got my glasses
before I didn't have them I couldn't fucking see
now I can see you get it
you see how I do it
I don't understand what you mean Larry
fucking silly dude
you're all hopped up on reefer over there
magic dust who knows what they
fucking A man
not even a drug with your hand
oh man fucking silly
alright well
we should just end it there how's that
sounds good to me man
thanks for tuning in to Larry needles show
I'm Larry not needles
peace