Time to get ready for the Larry and Needle show.
Larry and Needle.
Pete and Pete.
Yeah, that too.
All right, here we are.
Welcome to the Larry and Needle Show.
I'm Larry.
I'm Needle's.
And we got a special guest tonight.
A very special guest.
I love this person.
It's a rare appearance.
Mark.
Oh, no, I love this person more than anything.
Mr. Mark, what are you doing tonight, Mr. Tom?
I love you too.
There you go.
Excellent.
How do you get straight before you go?
First payment, this mic.
Well, you had this get out of me anyway, you know.
This is your mic here.
Hey, I hear something back there.
Is that, what's going on?
Well, wait, did you test the mics?
Guys, I'll be, when I fucking walk away, you jack-offs can't talk when I'm not here.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know how to hear.
I'm wrong.
Okay, okay.
Oh, man.
This is what I was invited over for?
It was the other channel, Tommy, from the fucking jack you were just listening to.
You are ass clown.
I mean, you're, how many episodes in Larry's life?
It doesn't mean freeze up like a tear in the fucking headlight.
Hey, and fourth, guess how many episodes Larry's fucked up?
Oh, I don't know.
He missed the wrong mic today.
Oh, because Larry, I guess, and you just tell him.
He ain't yet an excellent recording from the other room this morning.
Do you know anything about our podcast?
Not about your podcast, no.
No, we're just two idiots on drugs.
Okay.
Just talking about anything you want to talk about.
Yeah.
So how are you today?
Ah, you know, I'm already talking about shit, man.
High prices.
You are.
High prices of what?
The groceries, man.
It's ridiculous.
The groceries are, you know what I mean?
It's outrageous the amount of fucking, what they could charge us, right?
Have you seen a thing of eggs?
A dozen eggs?
Some sort of six, seven dollars.
Yeah, eight bucks for a dozen eggs.
They live in the city, so it's a little bit different than what we're used to.
Out in Huntley, I pay four bucks for a fucking dog.
Yeah, you can still find them for a three fifty-three and shit.
Man, but I mean, they're fucking eggs.
Right.
Isn't it just cheaper to start a farm?
I say an egg is an egg.
I buy the cheapest eggs they have every time, of course.
Yeah, I mean, depends though, right?
Well.
What's the difference between a great egg and a...
Because the eggs that you get and buy the cheaper ones, the chickens are eating fucking...
Yeah, I get it.
I mean, I understand they're...
Breakdown, right.
Well, but not by...
Come on, there's FDA regulations.
But still, before all the eggs were the fish.
Regulations are pretty loose and they do let them fucking...
If you look at like animal feed, if you went through it, if the plastic chips were fucking
metal, you can pick them out with a magnet.
There's a big difference.
A bunch of them.
From like a farm-fresh egg from just a farmer that has chickens and then like a corporation
that's making eggs, you know.
It's like fucking beef, right?
You raise a cow and you can tell the eggs are different.
Anything is about a good environment.
If you raise a child in a good environment, it's gonna be a better environment.
The yolks are yellower, the whites are whiter.
They're richer eggs or thicker eggs.
Jeffrey Dahmer had a horrible life though, dude.
Right, I was just watching The Thing In Another Day about how that shit affects your genes.
And that's why...
Oh, they're gonna be stovepipes.
Environment.
How it affects your environment.
And really, just because they can't say it's genical, geniacal, genealogy, it's in the genes.
Genetics.
It's not really true they're trying to prove because they can be changed.
Well, anything can change.
It's brought on from stress in the environment.
You can manipulate anything, right?
Yes.
But to change yourself is difficult, right?
Well, it is, but when they say it's in your genes and you can't be changed, that's the
wrong thing to do.
Well, but you...
You can't just give up on someone.
What do you want to change about yourself?
I forgot to stop looking at your phone, man.
What are you doing, man?
I just watched at a time.
You guys are not looking at your phone.
So, what do you want to change about yourself though?
I have no change.
I'm not asking you.
I'm just saying.
I'm saying hypothetically, what do you want to change about yourself?
I want to look at my phone less.
I want to look at porn less.
No, I don't look at anymore porn.
The doctor wants him to go to rehab.
Yeah, yeah.
They say you want...
We'll just get into it without asking you.
Well, actually, I might have to get...
Well, he wasn't going there.
Well, then okay.
Well, you precipitated this.
That's fine.
What were you saying, unfortunately?
No, I might have to get another stem cell transplant.
Yeah.
Well, why don't you explain your situation first?
Well, that's it.
And the other fear or the situation may be they might want me to actually go to a drug
rehab place.
But we want your situation.
What has brought this upon this?
Oh, I...
What do you diagnose with?
Well, they're going to do another CAT scan.
The lymphoma that I have.
The same thing happens to him.
Okay, see, I know what I'm asking.
Do you have lymphoma?
Yeah.
And?
And a...
Why don't you do another CAT scan?
It's horrible, man.
Another stem cell transplant.
It really sucks, man.
For whatever reason, they really want to cure me, I guess, whatever I have.
Well, don't you want to be cured?
It's something they want to work on.
Yes, of course.
Well, I mean, did you hear what I said?
I know.
These guys, these fuckers want to cure me.
And I hope they do.
I'm doing a night fight.
Because they got some kind of agenda.
Right.
And one thing, it must be something I have that they want to look at and cure, you know
what I mean?
Whatever it is, I just walked out.
I've got a...
I caught a thing that they...
You're very lucky that people want to cure you.
Yes.
Right.
I wish I could do it.
Right.
It's not like something where they just, well, you know, this is a standard thing.
Whatever it is, I got.
They don't work on it.
But, and how you feel?
But I've been doing good as far as drugs.
I've been clean, so it shouldn't be a problem.
I've been clean for almost a year.
For what?
A few slip-ups.
Yeah.
I've been clean for almost a year with a couple of slip-ups.
Two minor, very minor.
Listen, man.
You know what makes you feel good, right?
Yeah.
Right.
Is it a problem?
Kind of.
It doesn't really make you feel good.
Because you can't even make drugs anymore.
You can't even go on and they don't make you feel good.
You really can't even go on and they don't make you feel good.
They'll be like, I need painkillers.
Right.
And they're going to laugh in your face.
Like, I have cancer and you're like, I need painkillers and they laugh in its face.
Right.
Here's a 20-day supply.
Right, right.
That is true.
That's what they do.
I know that's what they do.
It's ridiculous.
Listen, man.
I've seen people on pills.
I've seen people on drugs.
You know?
Now we're all pushed and this guy over here doesn't get what he needs.
But at the same time does this guy need to be doing pills?
Probably not.
No.
Yeah, no.
I mean, it's not that bad.
The chemo's kind of rough.
It just starts to be the summer, you know?
It sucks.
It's going to be another chemo summer.
No sun, no ball.
Maybe that should be our, that should be our, the summer chemo.
Oh, God.
They want you to fucking get off a methadone though, right?
Maybe.
They want you to fucking get a milligram to a fucking drug.
147.
140s.
Holy shit.
Sammy Hagar said, I don't drive 55.
This guy's doing all that.
Milligrams of methadone.
Jesus.
You're like speed racers.
Well, that's, you know, but that's what they, but you have to get a lot of money.
But you have to get off of this shit, right?
Not, well, they do prescribe it for chemo patients, methadone, really bad chemo patients.
They do give methadone to.
But really?
Yeah.
For what?
For the pain.
Really?
Yeah, they do methadone.
Yeah.
Methadone is a pain killer, yes.
Yes.
He doesn't understand.
I never got a high drug.
I was at a methadone.
I'm not going to have one either.
I don't get high drugs.
I only got high for the wants.
The very first day when I was on 12 fucking bags in Carolina.
I did methadone.
Listen, you went to, there's nothing worse.
Man, I used to go to this methadone clinic.
It was on Lake Street in Ashland.
The lady, oh man.
I think it's still there.
They would let the pregnant ladies go first.
Sure.
And there would be like 40 or 50 of them.
Oh, I bet, yeah.
And then they would go out and turn tricks literally outside the place.
Oh God.
Crazy.
So many pregnant chicks gave the best blow jobs, man.
How do you know?
Well, because I used to go.
You got a lot of girls pregnant.
Did you get a blow job for a pregnant girl?
Nah, I'm fucking kidding, man.
Fecetious asshole.
But, but, I mean, listen, man, you're going to rehab.
No, probably not.
I went to rehab.
No.
This is what the one doctor was saying, maybe.
Well, what did they threaten you that they wouldn't?
Oh, I've been talking to this.
No, I've been talking to this.
Go to another methadone clinic.
It's not even sure.
No, no, it's not the clinic.
Oh, it's the doctor.
It's the cancer clinic.
Yeah, the cancer places.
Right.
You've got to get a, which, man.
This is not, even that doctor was doing it, hasn't said that.
You know what I mean?
It's just my other doctor thinking maybe.
Oh, it's a recommendation.
Yes.
Yeah, I got a lot of recommendations, you know?
They just want to make sure I don't slip off.
Maybe they're just up touching themselves so much.
You know, their concern is that, you know, they're going to spend all this money and do all this research into me, and then I would just often kill myself one night or something, you know?
What the heck?
They want to make sure you don't see that.
Why would you say that?
I wouldn't say that.
Wait, wait, wait, stop, stop, stop.
Hey, don't ever say that.
Well, no, I wouldn't say that.
Well, no, I'd be accidental.
You know, maybe an accidental overhouse they're afraid of.
Oh, well, you said kill yourself.
No, I wouldn't do it.
No, you're saying accidental overhouse.
Of course, that's what I meant.
I knew it, man.
Yeah.
I would die because I'm using drugs.
Why bother working on them then?
You know, killing yourself in the accident and the ODN are two different things.
Right.
So I need to convince them that I don't do drugs.
I don't do, I want to live.
Basically, I got to convince them I want to live, you know, that's all.
Like I did before.
Are you convincing them of your blood work?
Right, and they know that.
They don't test it for drugs.
So they know exactly what you're using.
They don't test it.
No, they don't test it.
You can't lie to them.
No.
Well, they could test, but they don't test it.
They don't test it for drugs.
They don't.
I remember when I broke my fucking hip a few years back and I'm in the hospital.
Hilarious story.
I saw the whole thing.
And I'm in the hospital and the doctor comes in and you're like...
First day of summer while we're unwrapping the pool, Larry breaks his hip.
All right, well...
I just...
Let me fucking tell my story.
I don't have to say the worst context ever.
I'm getting ready to leave and they go, okay, now we need to talk about your other problem.
And I'm like, what are you talking about?
Kissing dudes.
What other problem?
And they're like, man, you came in here and you're, you know, all strung out on dope,
man, you're on cocaine and heroin and fucking...
Everything else.
And I was like, oh, wow, oh.
I didn't know that.
Someone must be at the cafeteria.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
I called the police.
Here's what I did.
Something in the jello.
I said, maybe I did this little heroin boy.
The cocaine?
I haven't done cocaine in years.
Yeah.
Something must be wrong with your tits.
You're like a dog.
And then I realized that Ross was in town and we were doing coke all fucking weekend before
that.
You should be calling people out until we have them on the show, but that's okay.
This is a first name, man.
It's all right.
I know.
I just love Boston Larry's bowl.
And then I realized they did cocaine so many years before.
Sonia and Russ are...
Jesus, man.
Yeah.
I mean, come on, Larry.
So the doctor was real concerned.
Yeah, you're saying...
Man, you're on a lot of drugs, dude.
Well, you were on a lot of drugs.
Thank God.
Well, I got a broken hip, you tell him.
Yeah, so my hip was broke.
I did a lot of drugs.
Dude, it was crazy.
That's why I broke it.
That was so high.
I opened the door, he comes outside.
Literally, they have what's to do with steps down to the bottom.
No, no.
His foot gets caught up in a hose.
No, it wasn't a hose.
What was it?
I thought I was at the bottom.
Mr. Chef.
And I still had two more steps to go.
Oh, you missed two steps.
And I thought I was there at the bottom and I just fucking stepped into the air, man.
He fucking misses it.
He literally falls down, hangs out all day.
I call him up, I literally call him up like four times at night because it was bad.
Yeah, he was a swole and black blizzard.
He's a fragile cunt, you know what I mean?
So, guy's like fucking glass, he just breaks apart.
Well, he's got no vitamin D, he's got no bones.
He's fine.
Next thing you know, oh, we're in the hospital.
And then what's weird is I couldn't move at all and thank God Chris came over and God
rested in peace.
He's so light.
The guy's light as a feather.
He's like, hollow bone, man.
Not anymore, man.
I'm pretty heavy now.
I'm up to one step.
Not even Alabongo.
I mean, he fell down and broke his fucking hip, dude.
I weighed myself at the vet the other day when I went to the vet.
What I mean, weighed myself at the vet.
He uses a cap scale.
He put the dog scale.
You should weigh your nuts next time.
Just throw your sack right out there.
Fuck, I wish I had a good fucking paw.
Yeah, but it's all the way on the floor.
It's like a step on the scale.
I'm not going to put my nuts on.
You going anywhere soon, Ian Ford?
No, I thought the pizza was coming.
No, I didn't mean leaving the house, ass clown.
I meant vacationing.
Yeah, I should have.
I want to.
I want to go see the Noah's Ark thing.
Yeah, I'm going to go there with you, man.
Yeah, well, we can't wait for it to get warm.
I need to go.
Noah's Ark?
Where, Rockford?
No, there's the brand new Ark.
They built a replica of Noah's Ark in Kentucky.
Get out of here, man.
Yeah, it's awesome.
Apparently it's an exact replica.
It's like $50.
Do you have to bring a dude with you because you need two or a woman with you?
No.
Because there's two of each.
No, nothing like that.
Yeah, two of each, right?
And you've got a board, two by two, sure.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
And they've got a museum, too.
A creation museum.
What kind of, like a Big Bang theory?
Yeah, a little creation.
No creation.
Like a showman.
Right.
Yeah, the creation of man.
Yeah.
Do they believe in the Big Bang theory?
Or no.
Yeah, I'm not sure how they...
Yeah, I don't know what they're fucking...
I mean...
I'm not exactly 100% on that.
I don't know how they work that in, but...
I know that if there was a Big Bang God created it.
Sure.
Started the blast, yes.
So, you really think so?
Yeah, I do.
Of course.
You think that one man created all of this?
Well, he's not just a man.
He's a God.
The God.
Oh, okay.
Well, you know what?
You're one and only God.
Yeah, I do.
I do, man.
I do.
Okay, and?
There has to be.
It's too perfect.
Wait a second.
Things are too perfect.
No, they're not.
Things are horrible.
No, no, no.
Shit.
The way everything dives, the universe, everything.
No, the geometrical aspect, right, and everything like that.
It's perfect.
Yeah, it's too perfect.
The Earth is perfect.
The distance of the Sun, the moon, the Earth and everything.
It's too...
But the whole thing is life.
The size of the moon is perfect.
If it was just an explosion, things would have been so right.
No, the distance of the moon is perfect.
You can't see one side, which makes you even better.
Yeah, but that's what holds the Earth.
That's what makes you do what it does.
That's what makes everything do what it does.
Everything is too perfect for it to be.
It's too perfect, right?
For it to be just random and fucking coincidental.
No, but that's a whole bunch of...
Getting back to what I said before.
What was I reading yesterday about the 7,000 mile long ship?
Yes, yes.
About what?
A 7,000 mile long ship.
Space ship.
Saturn.
That's sucking juice.
Mining the rings of Saturn.
It's 97,000 miles long.
Yes, and it's getting its power from the rings of Saturn.
And lines of Earth.
Oh, wait, I love how you're pointing to him.
You see that?
He threw it right at the start.
I read it online.
Nobody just threw it right on you.
It's hilarious.
He didn't even try to back it up.
7,000 miles long, man.
There's a couple of them, they say.
Okay, but that's all.
One was 40,000 miles long.
Or 40,000 kilometers or 50,000 kilometers long.
Dude, you fuckers don't know what you're talking about.
I'm crazy.
Who's they?
The scientists.
They said they saw this fucking ship.
They saw this ship with the Hubble.
You two ass clowns.
Listen, Jaguar.
You're an ass clown, too.
Fuck.
They saw this ship with the Hubble Space Telescope.
Some telescopes, yeah.
And they said it was 7,000 miles long.
And?
And it's getting its fuel from the rings of Saturn right now.
Is it a threat to us?
Well, not at all.
Anything 7,000 miles long in space could be a threat to us.
It's pretty big.
I'd call that a threat.
You would be going from the tip of fucking South America to Canada, dude.
It'd go to the United States three times.
Right.
It's three times the size of the U.S. alone.
Maybe in the US.
About three times the United States, right?
Yeah.
About 25, they said.
Yeah.
Yeah, about 25.
So imagine the operation they must have building these ships.
What the fuck?
Where do they build them at?
And how do they get the material for it?
They have to build them in space, man.
Yeah.
Because it would be so bad.
I mean, how could they possibly have a planet big enough because the gravity would be too
great?
Right, yes.
Put it all together in space.
So they have to do it in space.
The materials, though, also.
I know.
It's incredible to think about.
I mean, imagine.
This mine frame, which is so low, they might not be using what materials we would think
are strong or good.
Yeah, they probably don't do shit.
I mean, here, though, there's no demand that are the most.
Not even.
They're not even known to man.
Yeah, I don't know.
The thinnest material is not even known to man.
No, no, no.
Right.
Who knows what they make or how they put it together.
You know, they combine them differently and they make a different substance.
Well, yeah.
I mean, they look at these propulsion motors, but, and you look at these, I mean, aliens
of like 7,000 miles long.
7,000?
That's a big motherfucking number of men.
Yeah.
7,000 miles.
Dude, imagine.
That's just, huh?
That's scary.
Why?
Man, if you enslaved us, what would you do?
Right.
Who builds these sins?
What the fuck?
I wouldn't kill myself.
You'd be enslaved?
I don't know what I would do, man.
I'd go down swinging, dude.
Yeah.
Well, I heard there's three races, alien races that are battling for the planet and
they want, there's two, there's no, there's the reptoid, whatever, there's retillions.
Yeah.
Anyways, two races, three races.
And the, and the, uh, you say reptilian is an audience.
Yeah.
The reptilian aliens, two of them don't want no humans on earth.
Sectoids.
Yeah.
And then sexoids, these are sexoid beings, beings, and then these other water beings from,
there are two different planets with two different races, aliens, and whatever.
They're all warring for earth.
Apparently they have been for a million years, whatever.
That's what I heard from the lady on the, the, the, the.
People wanted Earth, they'd take it in for.
Well, that's what you, you're right.
But there's experiment.
No, there's an experiment.
They're all just using Earth as an experiment.
They've been experimenting with this planet and Austin, everything on Earth.
The galaxy are the aliens.
Dude, the galaxy.
The longest time.
Right.
The galaxy is so fucking vast.
We actually are the aliens.
You can't find the more sometimes.
Right, right.
Or the only planet in the galaxy that has all this.
Like for the most fucking lackey people, come on.
Oh my God, we're an experiment.
No, we're not.
Yeah, well it is.
No, it really is.
There's so many other planets, man.
The galaxy is, mm.
Right.
But for whatever reason, they find our planet and the humans are being to be very, very
interesting.
Listen, listen, listen.
The planets in our galaxy are all there in our little solar system, the sun.
That's all we know about.
Much, much older than us.
That's not all we know about.
But let me tell you something.
The reason that all that shit is there is just to keep us jiving proper.
Jupiter is there for us.
Mars is there for reason for us.
Mercury is there for reason for us.
Every single one of those.
What about Pluto?
Pluto's even there for reason.
They didn't say it's a planet anymore for some reason.
No, but all those hyperbelt fucking objects.
You think Pluto's a planet, Anfor?
Asteroid.
They said they changed it, I believe, but I don't know.
That kind of sucks that they did that.
Yeah, imagine.
You're also in your planet and they change your shit.
I don't know.
There's so much things out there.
It's just crazy, dude.
That's what makes life crazy.
It is really true, you know.
And we don't spend anything.
The best place in the world, the ocean, it has been explored maybe a quarter.
Right, yeah, yeah.
Exactly, less than space.
We don't less about the ocean than they do space.
Man, fucking the ocean is where we need to be.
Yeah, probably the races of aliens living under that shit.
Yes, and that's exactly why they live there because...
A great hiding spot.
We can't go there regularly.
Exactly, just the pressure alone.
In the middle of fucking nowhere.
They've got a giant base.
But now imagine this.
They have a ship that's made out of the thinnest materials known.
And it's able to go down in those depths and not be crushed by pressure.
Like the submarines we make, those submersible units that go deep.
They have to be careful.
They go too deep, man.
Those motherfuckers are dead.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, because of the ocean pressure.
Yeah, but somehow those alien ships are able to just...
Under pressure, do-do-do-do-do-do.
Go right ahead and do-do-do-do-do.
It's not a big fucking problem.
You could dive.
I didn't even know this, but when I was scuba-ing, if you dive deep enough in the ocean...
Scuba-ing, is that a word?
Well scuba diving, you could feel the weight on you as you go deeper.
Really heavy it starts to get.
Really heavy.
I was like, wow, it's scary.
You know, you start to feel it hard.
I was like, holy shit.
Yeah, man, it's pressure.
Yeah, it's amazing.
I didn't realize, but you could feel the weight.
And that's why it goes super deep.
You could feel the weight.
I feel like you feel the weight coming on you.
It's called suprash from the ocean, man.
Yeah, it's wild.
There's people in a fucking...
I didn't think it would happen that fast, really.
I didn't really think it was that fast.
Even a 10 foot...
Yeah, a little bit of pool, but...
15 foot pool, you go to the bottom, when you shit, I can't do it now.
But if you get a little deeper than that, it's really heavy.
Really heavy, like I mean, heavy.
It's like, holy shit.
And you what?
The water, as you get deeper.
It's not heavy, it's just pressure.
Yeah, whatever.
It sucks the air out, so it just fucking contains on it.
Right, it's pressure.
You can't move.
But you see that shit when they do sub-movies and they go too deep, and it literally pushes
the fucking metal in.
I get it, yes.
I mean, that's just a fact, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, yo, it's one thing that's constant.
Just like an airplane, though, they have to pressurize it when you go up in the sky.
Yeah, you get the fucking all...
Bands.
Yeah.
That's a good band name.
Band, band.
It's already been done, because it's so good.
But anyways, you know, if you don't do that, you could actually die.
Yes.
You come up too quick.
Well, don't compress, yeah.
You can compress, but when the astronauts come out of space, they have to fucking...
Yes, sir, yes, sir.
Isn't it crazy, really painful, too?
Some of those fucking...
Some of those painful fucking...
Oh, yeah, that's why they call it the bends.
Those fuckers lose inches off their bodies, their bones shrink when they're in space.
Yeah, yeah.
I had heard a thing that said, we can't spend a lot of time in space, human being.
Just can't do it.
We're not built for that.
We can't do it.
We cannot do it.
Yeah, well, you know, I've been dropping science since...
Our minds can't handle it.
I've been dropping science.
Shit, I've been dropping science since first grade, when I had my first science class or
whatever.
I mean, you need gravity to go alleviate shit and everything, you know?
You don't even have gravity for that after a while, even your insides get messed up.
Yeah, right, right.
Everything gets fucked up, though.
You need to shit properly.
Right, and there's just no gravity.
Yeah, you do.
It fucks you up.
Right, it fucks up your whole body.
It fucks up a lot of shit.
When the fucking astronauts go out there, they work out, they do all the...
Sure, yeah, they're in much better shape.
They gotta do these things because if you just sit there and you shit will probably coagulate
in space.
If you're motionless, you know what I mean?
You set a set box up to space.
Yeah, you gotta be...
Nothing's gonna come good with that.
The blood doesn't move, everything gets...
You get a what's that called when you fuck an atrophy.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
In space, atrophy is probably worse.
But I want some space, Coke.
Did they really go to the moon?
Who?
I watched another thing today.
United States?
I don't know, man.
I was listening and I worked for NASA.
But I'll entertain any conspiracy theory.
Do you think they did it?
Did they go to the moon?
I think they did everything.
Why not?
They landed on the moon.
There was actual moon rocket landed on the moon.
Neil Armstrong got off and stepped on the moon.
Does it really matter?
I don't think so.
I'd like to think it happened.
I really would, but man...
I'm just saying, listen man...
There's a convincing story that it didn't.
I remember when I was a little boy, my grandmother was watching it.
Yes, I did too.
I was in my guy's house and she said, this is history.
It was a Cold War shit.
We beat Russia to the moon.
Right.
The pictures would come out.
We'd get the pictures at Jules.
How about 9-11?
Do you believe that?
I believe that...
No, where was the plane at the Pentagon?
There wasn't even a plane.
Can't even say the same thing.
What'd you think?
No, I'm not really...
Well, yeah.
They faked it.
Yeah, but it was a different kind of fake.
There you go.
Yeah, they faked it.
I don't know.
I hate to think so, but...
There's a...
You're an American.
You would hate to think so.
I hate to think so.
I'm an American.
I love my song too.
But my common sense tells me that a bunch of them fuckers out.
But your common sense only shows you video from this and there and there and that.
Well, scientific fact kind of says they might not have done the space.
Well, with heat analysis and jet fuel and burning...
Couldn't have happened.
But then they say we've got ships that can go light speed and stuff now.
So what the hell is this all about?
Who are they trying to fool here?
You know, why?
What's going on?
Is it real or not?
Then there was another thing about the dust they said.
When the lunar lander landed, there should have been a dust cloud for a month.
And there wasn't.
All the dust went just straight across like a...
Like nothing.
Yeah, like it was blown by the sandblaster.
And it was just a formation to some extent.
Because it was the vacuum of space, wouldn't it just...
I don't know.
I mean, I'm not Neil deGrasse Tyson.
I don't know, man.
Yeah, it would have just poofed up like dust and...
But it would have poofed up to what, though?
I mean, just dusting clouds.
Right, it would have been, you know, a heavy film of dust and there was...
And then like, how did they get the shot of the guy calling out of the thing?
Where?
Who took the picture and it looks pretty far away, too.
The camera that takes him crawling out of the capsule.
Coming out of the capsule.
What was that?
Who got there?
Someone was there out of that ship first with the camera.
Was there a film on the moon?
Right?
I mean, come on, people.
I don't know, man.
I mean, listen, couldn't be.
Think really.
What the fuck?
You know what the funny thing is, though?
Exactly.
They didn't just say the cameraman comes out first.
Right.
That's the least conspiracy that we ever know about.
We need to send the cameraman and the sound man ahead to get him coming down the ladder
and saying those prolific words.
Right.
They've got that little board and shit.
I went over to JFK.
Well, that was, you know, George Bush, the same guy that did the towers, man.
Yeah, that meddling little creepy.
He loved that shit.
Now you're just speculating.
Pretty clear, man.
And now we're going to get sued.
It's pretty clear.
Hey, where's my lawyer?
That's what I think.
Oh, there we go.
Finally.
This is my opinion.
This is an opinion show.
This isn't fair.
You know, it's not an opinion show.
Well, it's my fucking opinion.
You went out on an opinion piece all of a sudden.
George Bush doesn't like black people.
That's just my opinion.
No, they remember Kanye did that.
Well, I don't think he likes black people.
Oh, did he say that?
No, I didn't.
With Mike Myers, they were doing a thing for Katrina.
Oh, wow.
And they were doing like a benefit, you know, like one of those things on the TV show.
Oh, sure, yeah.
And Kanye went up and Mike Myers and Mike Myers did his speech and Kanye just said,
literally after Mike Myers, George Bush doesn't like black people.
Wow.
Whatever happened to Mike Myers?
What do you mean?
Whatever happened to Mike Myers disappeared.
He's old somewhere.
He hasn't made a movie anywhere.
Listen, I mean, he's old as fuck already.
He can't be that old.
You can't do comedy when you get old.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You're in the public eye.
The only guy that was able to last into any longevity when he was old was George Carlin.
He was horrible at the end.
But I mean, he's still fucking Drew Crowds and still was able to fucking get the TV specials.
I mean, back then, too, it was a lot more difficult to get an audience.
Yeah.
Now it's fucking Internet.
Now, literally, you and I are going to put this on the Internet and people can find it.
People are going to think you're funny.
They're going to think...
People can find this in Alaska.
They're going to think I'm funny.
They're going to know you're retarded.
They're going to send money for your...
Well, you're gay also, so sorry.
Jesus Christ.
Two for three ain't bad, homo.
Yeah, please send money for my lymphoma cure.
What's that?
I need money for my lymphoma cure.
Well, how do you want to raise it?
I'm kidding.
I don't need any money.
You want to fight homeless people?
We should make him fight homeless people.
Yeah.
Raise money for his lymphoma care.
Mark will fight homeless people for 20 bucks a crack.
I pay those homeless guys, man.
They clean up the expressway at Harlem and 290.
They clean it up.
All the garbage is not there.
It's because there's homeless dudes that are...
They pick it up.
I see them.
Yeah, because they leave their cell drugs for me.
It's nice.
They're so clean, man.
They want it to look nice.
Yes, I would, too.
Yeah, but they sell drugs from there, too.
Come on.
They sell drugs?
I know those guys sell drugs.
Come on.
Yes.
The guy on the corner.
I know the guy on the corner.
I mean, come on.
Look at these.
They laugh at that one.
I totally called them out.
I mean, maybe they know where you go.
Get the drugs.
I think they had drugs, too.
They're a middleman.
Why are they cleaning up the road then?
It's like home of a supply house.
Okay.
Hey, I need pipe.
Okay, I got them.
I know a guy that's going to get you some fucking pipe.
I don't know.
Literally, in literally case, I don't know where he wants.
I want some pipe.
I've only ever dealt with a few corner boys.
I don't really.
Whoa, see, look at.
He's coming out of the closet.
He's got a boy, man.
You see what I mean?
Finally.
I don't know what you're talking about, but corner boys and I, we have a good relationship.
When I lived downtown.
That's the name of the app, Corner Boys.
They kind of got to know me more before I knew them.
Because why?
Because you wanted something they have.
Isn't it crazy when you're an addict?
Well, no.
And then you have a dealer.
Right.
And like, you're an addict.
Like a lot of people don't understand that.
Like, I want this at one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine in the morning.
Sure.
Yeah, when I want it, I want it.
Exactly, right.
You want to sell this, but you have to accommodate me.
And if you don't, I'm going to find someone.
Right.
You won't tell it to me.
You know what I mean?
And I will.
Yeah.
They know that too.
They know that.
And that's why they will accommodate you.
Junkie word jumble.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Fucking bam.
It's a hustle and fucking business, man.
So what would happen was I'd be waiting for one fellow and the other fellow is that I didn't
know, which realized this, see the deals gone.
Then so they would start approaching me because they realized I was buying drugs.
So I wound up meeting the whole network on the street there.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
But how many corners have you gone to in your life?
Well, no, man.
He would be waiting.
Right.
But by my house, when I lived there, I lived in an apartment.
I know.
But I'm just saying how many, you had to go to the spot.
No, it was just the one corner.
It's like the six corners that we lived on, you know, by the block.
Yeah, no, you understand that.
But at that one point in time.
But before that, because the guy would make me wait.
Before that, it wasn't a dope spot though.
No, no, no.
They were just like by the bus station, around the bus station.
Before that, it wasn't dope spot you went to.
Yeah.
The truck.
Yeah.
The projects.
The rock wall gardens.
It's like, yeah, rock wall gardens on it.
We used to go to Cabrini Green and they drop a bucket down.
Yeah.
And we put our money in it.
No.
Because I worked with the guy at UPS.
Nice.
And he's like, oh, my cousin's going to help you out.
No, it's still the best as the hand.
They literally dropped the bucket down at a security guard right there.
Four of them.
And the bucket would go up, the bucket would come down.
And then you have four of them going in a little, it was crazy.
The best as the hand, man.
Right out the window, front of the hand.
Oh, I thought you were going to have a hand in the house.
Yeah, the hands come out of the house.
I was going to see the car driving to Ellie.
I used to buy.
And then you walk up there and you give them your money.
No, I would not.
You could barely reach it.
No, no, I would knock on the siding.
A hand would come out.
Yeah, sure.
The money in, you go back in.
The hand would come in.
Right, right, right.
And there was it.
But the hand came out of a hole in the house.
Nice, nice, nice.
It wasn't a fucking, it wasn't a window.
Oh, this is a window.
We had a window.
Sisru and Roosevelt right over there.
We were in like Mozart and Fillmore.
Right off Roosevelt, right off Roosevelt.
Shag Town.
Yeah.
It's very funny.
The Mozart's spot was nice.
I liked the Mozart's spot a lot.
It was fucking good.
Yeah, they had good music there.
Yeah, they did.
Mozart.
Yes.
I mean, their music was very, very...
And one funny thing I will say, a strange thing, it's weird how strange things happen
on drugs.
Yeah.
You know, it's his drug spot.
It's in Chicago, one of the worst cities in the country, one of the worst parts of the
city.
Yeah.
This place I'm going to.
And it's a Saturday night.
And I go there kind of late after midnight.
And there wasn't the usual people that hang out there.
Your usual, you know, gang bangers, deadly murdering gang bangers selling drugs.
It was a different pack of deadly murderers.
No, it was young kids.
I think they were gay.
They were all just little young kids.
What?
It was a bunch of young kids on the street and they were gay doing dances and shit.
And I just pull up, I'm sitting there.
You're fucking kidding me.
I'm not kidding you.
Wait, what are you kidding me?
What?
They were gay.
And they were gay.
Why do you know that?
They could tell they had a list.
They were all dressed up and gay-ness.
How do you know they had a list?
They were making dances on the street because they asked, they were going to get me something.
I'll get you something.
Let me get it.
They were, they were, they were, the kid was obviously gay.
He had the whole walk and shoot.
No, man.
I mean, they were gay.
Video aspect.
I mean, I believe you, Antford.
No, I don't believe you.
So what do you mean about being on drugs and funny shit happens?
Weird shit happens, man.
Yeah, it always does.
Doesn't it really?
I mean, this is a, this is a major drugs bot in a dangerous city.
So did they then have to go there?
Saturday night I go there and it's like, what are your drugs?
What are you guys watching this place for?
Somebody, they were fine.
It's the same shit I get all the time there.
Other drugs good?
Yeah.
They get you high?
No, sir.
You were there at the McDonald's on Roosevelt.
Oh, okay.
You were there.
Okay.
I mean, Antford called me out of my own pocket.
But Saturday was weird.
That one night was like a pack of gay kids, man.
Weird.
Very weird.
Man, especially because there's no club or nothing around there.
Yeah, that's right.
It was like, there's a lot around there.
I don't know what they had.
Yeah.
Like a ghetto.
Yeah, but there's not a dance club.
Actually, you know, you came from fucking K-town.
I know.
You know, now it's a dope spot over there.
Right.
I know.
K-town.
That's where Larry used to live.
Right by my old house.
There was gym shoes hanging over the line.
Yeah.
But that was just weird, man.
That was freaky, man.
That's all I can say.
What's that?
What's freaky?
The gays.
It was weird, dude.
It was the strangest thing I've ever seen.
Never again.
I actually mentioned to the one guy that I knew there.
The regular dude.
You didn't know what you were talking about.
Yeah, you didn't know what you were talking about.
Yeah, I figured.
I don't know what the fuck happened, man.
Maybe the cops just cleared everybody out and the kids came out for a change or something
that night.
I mean, they're all forming different sex now.
It's not like...
Do a word to get the drugs from, I guess?
No fucking...
But it was just weird, man.
Damn it.
I was happy I got my drugs.
No irony, no pun intended.
Please, Lord.
No pun intended.
Yeah, I'm freaking stoned.
It was strange.
It's very strange, though.
Man, I was at Madison Pulaski a couple months ago.
We had to do a job down there and it is outrageous, Antforth.
Outrageous.
They already have bags of weed.
Yeah, they wait on the street.
You know, walking.
Yeah, on Madison, yeah.
Yeah, Madison and Pulaski.
You guys are gonna go ffff...
Walking.
No, no, just walking.
Bags of weed.
They're shaking them down, yeah.
Dude, we can get an ounce over there for fucking cheaper than we can get it here.
It's a real good marijuana, man.
I never bought it to stop.
I don't know.
I never bought any.
Yeah, and me neither.
I'm kind of afraid to stop.
I don't want to get involved with anything else, you know?
Oh, yeah, you do.
No, I can't.
They can't.
They can't test me all the time.
You want to have fun, right?
Yeah, I want to have fun.
Well, shock your dog.
Let's really shock your doctor.
It's like, oh, yeah, right.
You're going like, he's got ketamine, crap.
I'm feeling fine, Doc.
What are you talking about?
Cancer.
He's got some sort of dog pills.
Yeah.
He's got deworming pills.
I can act in.
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I can act in.
And I've got to do for the horse.
Yeah.
This guy's been doing bongs and DMT all weekend.
They think I'm nuts.
You ever do DMT in force?
I've got ones.
I didn't like it.
I didn't even work well for me.
We're gonna do it up on that next, because I have a DMT pen.
My boy got it for me, and I want to try it out.
I just think it's, I don't know, man.
Ketamine's the way to go, right?
You ever done ketamine with those?
No, I think I've done ketamine.
Oh, shit.
He hasn't really?
I think we'll open them up.
Well, I'm sure it's too subtle for Mark to notice, and he would want more, and then
he'd be overdosed.
Right.
I'm sure what happens was he...
No, if I put it in my pocket, he wouldn't get any more.
No, no, no.
I don't need any ketamine.
He would think he wasn't high.
Right, I do that.
He's absolutely right.
He does need some.
But he would be high as hell, and he wouldn't know it.
Yeah, I like that, yes.
No, but that's when we have to tell him he's high.
We don't know this.
This doesn't work, will you?
One time I actually did that with that shit, Mark.
Do you see it?
I don't know.
Remember when he ate that fucking like, eighth of a...
What did we do there?
Eighth of mushrooms?
He was like, I'm not high, bro.
Yeah, I wasn't high.
I still...
You weren't high.
You were high as fuck.
Well, for a little bit once I was, yeah.
Yeah, you went to fucking Sherry's place, sit down at the fucking fast room.
For a little bit I was high, yes.
And she's like, he was all wasted.
And then, it was a day he told us he wasn't high.
Yeah, maybe.
I guess it was, bro.
Yeah, exactly.
There you go.
He finally admitted it.
Oh, the other time when you were...
I think the pie's here.
At Caputo's, looking at peppers or something.
He told me...
He took me a picture going, oh my god, look at the colors on it.
I'm looking at the peppers for you, man.
And he looked at the next day, he said, Resonance says, yeah, this shit didn't fucking work.
Aw, and fart.
That's just what he does.
He's a drug denier.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, maybe, maybe.
You are.
This guy doesn't think he's high yet.
If it doesn't really really affect me, I don't feel like it was worth it, you know what I'm saying?
What do you mean if it doesn't affect you?
How do you know it doesn't affect you?
You want...
The pizza's here.
What time is it?
Time for the pizza.
No, I know, but how much time we have left?
But that's fine though.
If you're gonna deny it for about 20 minutes.
Yeah, so we're gonna fucking...
Let's just pause over here.
Taking a short break.
I'm just saying that I don't feel like it works sometimes, I guess.
Dude, 30 fucking four bucks for a pizza, dude.
Do you want some money?
No, not at all.
Isn't that crazy, those 30 four bucks for a fucking hard sauce?
Actually, the car...
Fucking one hand fucking washes the other.
That's amazing.
Is that what it is, Larry?
One hand washes the other, or you rub my back and I rub yours?
Sounds more like you guys are sucking each other's dick in from the other room.
Yeah, kind of, kind of.
Kind of.
You wanna watch?
You're great.
I kind of was just getting a blowjob from my chair.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Till you walked in the room.
It was feeling pretty good, too.
Fuck.
Larry just wants to watch this.
I thought it was the fucking Girl Scout meeting.
Why is that?
We're not girls.
That doesn't make any sense.
Whatever.
It's in your jeans.
It's your jeans.
It's in your jeans.
Fucking Bro Scout meeting.
That's a little bit better.
And fourth.
What do you think about Jesus?
I like Jesus.
Jesus is good.
Needles is a big blasphemer.
Well, yes, I am.
I say goddamn a lot.
Well, you shouldn't say that.
Well, that's where you draw the word.
You're not really irritating me in South Park.
All the hell when I hear myself say it.
Stupid motherfucker.
That's how you feel about me.
You can just say it to my face.
I'm just telling God.
But some people can't help it.
Stupid motherfucker.
Please forgive me.
Is that a prayer for me?
Yeah.
Wow.
That's amazing.
Thank you.
You're praying for me.
Yes.
That's awesome.
I don't want you to go to hell, bro.
I don't want Mark to go either.
And he knows you're saying.
You think you're going to hell, Hanford?
No.
Be careful.
But no, I would hate to say that happened to you.
I don't understand anyone who was after Paul.
No, he asked you.
If you were, not if you was.
You think he knows he's going to hell?
No, I don't know.
I would hope not.
I would, you know, try to live a good life and, you know, God.
Satan's going to cover things for the fire place right now.
Mark, Mark, Mark.
You know, as far as completing all these sacraments and everything.
That's what they're using.
Yeah.
What are those called?
The fucking...
Stoker things.
Little fucking bellows.
Like a bellow.
I mean, you know, to follow the path of a saint.
Because you don't think the way you're going to go to heaven, I don't know if I'm qualified.
No, that's what I mean.
Right.
You know what I mean?
I'm not saying that.
No, he just said to follow the path of a saint.
Well, no, to...
He just said to go to hell.
No, no.
The path of hell.
No, I didn't say that.
It's very good intentions.
Yeah, but no.
That's not what he's saying.
No, I didn't say the correlation between them.
Yeah.
I'm not saying that's what's similar.
That you have to be the similarities.
The synod.
The completely religious person, you know, the worship to death and just wholeheartedly
believe in God and nothing else.
You know, to the point of exhaustion, is that what you have to do to go to heaven?
I mean, is that what we're talking about?
Not at all.
Right.
You know, I would think not.
It's got that really...
So you have to put...
One thing you don't give the money is 20 dollars.
You have to say G.D.
Right, of course.
Your name and name.
But you know what you have to do though?
You got to put 20 dollars in a basket to be holy.
Yes, there you go.
That's true.
You do, no.
You don't think fucking Big Joe put something in the basket?
That's exactly what they're talking about.
You know what, man?
That doesn't mean that doesn't make you holy.
No, it doesn't at all.
That means you just want to give to your church.
But that's the fucking whole point of the Catholic Church.
It's a fucking Catholic.
You're a Catholic.
Any church.
It's a Catholic's church.
Yeah, it's a total pyramid scheme.
Any church is a pyramid scheme.
They're tax exempt.
Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, tax exempt.
Put it down.
You don't know what you're talking about.
What do you mean?
I just told you they're tax exempt.
Yeah, I know they're tax exempt, but you don't know what you're talking about.
All churches aren't pyramid schemes.
No, it's not a pyramid scheme.
Yes, they are.
They all need money.
They're blasphemy.
The Catholic Church is the most blasphemous church.
Yeah, Catholic Church is the most blasphemous church.
Who's that other fanook, the big guy that does a gold steer?
Oh, yeah, those guys are all evangelists.
They're not.
They're nothing you want to follow.
That's their crazy.
But they're Christian.
Yeah, they're Christian.
They say they're Christian, believing God.
Oh, man.
What are you doing?
And they believe, you know, but they're out for the money.
And it's obvious.
They're out for the money.
Yes, it's the same.
There's another guy out there, too.
I mean, you guys want to battle me about fucking Christianity.
Okay, I want to see it.
You brought it up, bitch.
I did, but there's a core belief.
That's not what it's about.
You don't have to do that.
I don't have to go to church every week.
Yeah, you don't have to fucking do that.
And I think that's what they're warning.
I think that's what they're saying in the Bible.
Jesus didn't say go and give money.
Exactly.
You don't have to.
You have to believe in God, believe in Jesus.
He's like, okay, 10 bucks.
Help the poor.
You know, you help the poor and shit, but you can't buy your way into heaven.
You know, that's not going to work.
No, it's not worth anything.
We all try it.
You can totally buy your way into heaven.
No.
No, you can't, dude.
How do you know?
You can't buy your way into heaven.
You can't.
You can not.
But how do you know that?
It says it's in the fucking Bible.
Look at when the fucking pharaohs were buried with their entourage.
It's easier for us.
They were going to that heaven.
They were going to the same heaven that we're talking about.
God, you get to have that thing, Mark.
It says right in the Bible, it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle
than for a rich man to pass through the gates of heaven.
Okay.
So.
And you're talking about a book that's farcical and...
Oh, it's no farce, Mike.
A dude just wrote.
Okay.
Well, you know what?
No, some dude just in a right desert.
Yeah, he just wrote it.
Some dude just wrote a book.
So now, so now ask yourself, who is going now?
Yeah, right.
The story is always dictated by the winners.
Oh, Michael, Michael, Michael.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And you've got such a...
Hey, it's needles on here.
Needles.
Well, needles.
But, I mean, what do you believe and what don't you believe?
That's the big thing.
I don't even mean good and respect, man.
Just being nice and you have to, you know...
You get out of life what you put into it.
Sure.
Right?
You do, yeah.
You treat people how you want to be.
It goes around, it comes around.
You're going to be treated well.
Right?
You're going to be treated well.
I just saw it, dude.
You're only human at the same time.
I can't say, I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, I...
Well, you do know.
You're the only one who knows.
You're the only one who knows at the same time.
But he's the only one who knows.
What?
He looks like two guys at the same time.
I've had it once and I don't want to.
Oh, my God.
It was in T1 and I needed the money.
Because they both pay us.
The video doesn't get leaked, wink, wink.
You're the only one who fucking, I mean, I believe in something.
I'm spiritual.
I might not believe in something.
Well, of course, yeah.
I mean, I do.
And I do.
I believe in the higher power to some extent.
You know, in the words of...
To some extent.
Well, what extent is that?
I mean, you don't think that there's...
Something is controlling out there beyond me.
Yes, yes, that's true.
And I can't put my finger on it.
Yeah?
Well...
Okay.
You know, we're starting to put everything else in this fucking fire.
The Farsical, the Bible, and Jesus.
Yeah, those books, they're just books, dude.
Anybody can write a book.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean...
And Frank wrote a book.
Well, yes.
Come on.
Anybody can write a book, dude.
Do you have proof about Jesus?
Yes, they do have proof about it.
Where?
They do.
All over the Middle East there's proof about this.
It's just a real thing, Mike.
It really is real.
I understand it's a real thing, but...
It's the same...
But can you quote me proof?
Here's the other thing, in all other countries...
No, because I'm not a biblical scholar, but...
Aw, you can.
I can't do that now.
Right, but here's the thing.
My dad could.
In a bunch of other countries, all the other countries around this world, the very same
similar stories are told from the whole story.
Jesus is a man.
In all these different places.
I hate to tell you...
So how do they all get the same fucking story?
Exactly, man.
He was just a dude.
It's all basically the same story, which is a little different thing, but it's all the
same.
Somebody...
People need something to believe in.
So how could it just be written by some guy, you know?
People need something to believe in.
Right, exactly.
Yes, yes, they need something to believe in.
Yes.
They're not in their drab life.
Do you know how bad it was at Bible times?
How dangerous things were?
How ruthless people were at each other?
Yeah, with the CCDs.
I mean, they were brutal, dude.
Yes, it was completely brutal.
God wiped them all out.
It was so bad.
Right.
There was giants eating people and shit.
It was fucking brutal.
So, you know...
I don't know if your facts are coming from it.
Yeah, no, that's how it was.
It was brutal.
Brutal.
But I mean, where do you get your facts?
Before the flood, man.
Yeah, it was bad.
Very bad.
But I mean, how bad was it?
Raping and killing and just ripping off and yeah, everything.
It was like breaking shit.
Everyone for himself, basically.
There were no social rules, man.
No, there wasn't.
You just wanted to do when you fucking told them.
Yeah, they were fucking and sucking each other off like crazy, believing in anything they
wanted to do, anything they did.
They're like, they're doing something right now.
Yeah, kind of like happening again.
They're just like, what's starting to happen now?
Yeah, yeah.
It sounds like Larry's fucking heaven.
It was very bad.
It was really, really decrepit and bad.
I know it's getting sucked off.
But I mean, how bad is it now compared to back then?
It's getting that way.
It's getting that way again.
It's like suddenly before.
Back then there was maybe less people, so more of it, the concentration was doing it.
So it was like the whole world was into this awful shit.
Yeah.
Now you've got enough good people to kind of balance it out, but still it's happening
and it's bad because it's getting on the popular way and you know how shit goes.
I don't think that there's a lot of good people in this world, man.
There's even a time frame.
Dude, they got a time frame.
For what?
Just timed out.
Everything.
It's timed out.
It's going right on time too.
To the Bible.
What schedule?
The end of the world and shit.
No.
Yes.
It's on a fucking time frame, dude.
Time's running out.
We're on a time frame.
Time frame of our life.
3,000 years or something.
Something about 3,000 years coming up soon.
Dude, you guys are hanging out with Kiki, haven't you?
Yeah.
But the time frame is what?
What's it going to be?
I don't know though.
I don't know, Mike, the whole details of it.
But something's happening soon.
What do you think's going to happen?
The end of the world is going to start.
Why?
Why would the end of the world start?
It is a starting, dude.
Listen, I'm going to tell you right now.
If the end of the world starts, I'm going to kill myself.
I don't talk to that.
Yeah, what are you going to do?
You want to be a slave?
If you kill yourself, I'm going to go right to hell, man.
You don't have to.
It's been a long time before.
Thank God.
Oh, man.
What am I going to do?
That could be the name of your tombstone.
I want to be a fucking zombie.
I mean, it could be bad, but no.
I mean, it could be like one of those things.
We're all, you know, pocked up at the end and, you know, we'll be long gone before it
gets seriously, seriously bad.
But I mean, how bad is it going to get?
It's going to start, dude.
It's going to start.
It's starting already.
How bad can it get?
You don't think the Fed is going to get?
If you're bad, dude, it's going to get really bad.
It's going to be no, no, it'll be different.
How bad is it going to be?
Either it's going to be martial law or no law.
I mean, you know.
I mean, what would you rather have?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, you don't think the government's going to step in and be like, you know, right?
And that's going to suck and shut you the fuck up.
Right.
But not having any law is going to suck too, because it's just not safe, you know.
What's not safe?
Oh, stop it, man.
Just stop.
No, I'm just saying, what's not safe?
The streets?
Not having any law, right?
You know, if no one's being patrolled or watched, you know.
That's good, it's martial law, technically, but that's not going to happen, unfortunately.
It's going to happen.
Mark, it's like being with the mad hatter.
Yeah, it's just impossible.
I say it all the time.
There is going to be martial law, Mike.
There is.
There will be.
There's going to be a way.
Yes, it's going to happen.
It will happen soon.
There's literally a fucking National Guard armory a mile away from my house.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
There's martial law.
What are you doing?
You're going to see him soldier us?
They would bring the tanks out.
Yes, they will.
And they would just run and they will.
No, they don't do that, Mike.
They don't just run people.
What do you mean Tiananmen Square?
Martial law.
We're not China.
They're not going to turn you into a march.
They will.
If you stand in their way, they will.
Sure, if you're in their way, maybe, but yeah.
We are a good comparison.
We are like China.
We're just like China.
He just said that we wouldn't have more.
No, it's bad.
Okay, fine.
You're right.
They're going to be running them over when their tanks.
Great.
There you go.
Again.
What are we saying?
Well, I mean, yes, what's going to happen right?
Sure.
What are you going to do?
You can't.
Mike, I'm telling you, that's going to happen.
There's going to be martial fucking law within the next, oh, I'll give it six years.
Six years?
Six years.
Well, probably have a martial law of some kind.
I respect that.
Hey, welcome to the.
Yeah, very generous.
Very generous.
I hope you're wrong.
Yeah, I hope so too.
But it will be.
That's what we're going to do.
Fighting is going to be out of the presidency.
Uh-huh.
Right.
So we're going to have to elect somebody else.
Maybe Hunter will be in there.
Dude, he's already so old.
And Larry's police stop.
Dude, he's so old.
Dude, they're going to have the whole thing locked up like that.
Yes, yes, yes.
It's like Putin where he's going to be the president for life.
Just like Xi.
Right.
Just like it says in the Bible.
The fucking guy from China, man.
Right.
He took over.
President until he's fucking dead.
Yeah.
He's in charge until he dies.
Paul.
Just like the fucking kid from North Korea.
Hot.
Right.
Just like all them guys.
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot,
the North Korean guy.
Chimyeong-hoon.
Shit, man.
Chimyeong-hoon.
He's fucking.
Oh, the fucking North Korean dude.
Yeah.
You know what's dope about that guy?
Man, he looks like a fat, can he be?
Kim Jong-un.
Yeah, I want to see him.
Wait, now check this out.
His sister is a little cutie.
Yeah, I'd like to fucking fuck that little porker.
The ruthless.
You want to do some kimchi and her little.
I like some fucking little.
Yeah.
Hey, anyways.
Do you want me to sell them?
Yeah.
Sashimi.
So what?
Sashimi.
So here's what Kim Jong-un does though.
When he goes golfing, he makes everybody that's with him, including his caddies, turn
their back.
Turn around.
Yeah.
Turn around.
Really, he takes a shot.
Like a magic trick.
He's the only one and then they all clap and then he goes to the next song.
Yeah, he's gonna get killed.
Right.
And so every time he's fucking golfing.
Perfect game.
He's a perfect game.
Perfect hole every time.
Yeah, he goes to 18.
Nice shot, Kim Jong-un.
When he goes to nine holes.
Yeah, he goes to nine.
That's what they call you in boy's time.
Every rice he eats.
Dude, every grain of rice he eats is inspected.
Before he gets it, the grains of rice.
Each grain is inspected.
It's the perfect grain of rice.
Every grain of rice he has is inspected.
Dude, he gets no bad rice.
No, it's not.
It's the perfect rice.
Every one of them.
I know.
It would be great.
To poison them.
He's snuck us over there.
You're not gonna poison them.
They ain't gonna near them, man.
You know what the problem is, we could take him out.
I would not want to take him out.
I think he's a cute little guy.
No, we could take him out as a country, not as a team.
We're not as a team.
You look like a little common bear.
You know what?
We're the D team.
Us three, not the eight.
Well, that's what has to happen.
Dude, I'm afraid.
I think maybe.
Dude, dude, dude.
Trump, take it back in, he probably should take over a few places or do some things.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Take control of the fucking world, literally that.
Yeah.
Yeah, him too.
Trump's gone.
Yeah.
All those fuckers calmed down, man.
But they were calmed down when he was in office.
Remember?
Yeah, they were okay.
250 for a gallon, I guess.
Right.
That was great, dude.
It's $4 today again.
It's ridiculous.
It is.
It's ridiculous.
I was in the country until Joe Biden became president.
I was going to drive around the country.
That's what I was going to do.
I could have done it too until Joe Biden became the president.
That is sour shit, man.
Yeah.
The day he became the president, I knew I was never going to drive around the country.
Why?
And then the day he stopped the oil production, I knew for sure I was never going to drive
around the fucking country.
The very last time for no cause I'd be fine.
That's what I wanted to do, too, man.
You know, I was going to get my fucking money.
I don't work anymore.
I'm going to have a bunch of money.
I could drive around the country.
But the gas is too expensive, man.
Pick up two guys from Florida.
No, no.
I wanted to get like 13 old prostitutes and Kentucky Taco Bells.
Man.
At Kentucky Taco Bells.
Fucking antivores.
It's coming out of my field.
You see him in a Taco Bell, you know.
See him in a Taco Bell, which is even more.
On the highway.
You're on the highway.
You're in your Waffle House.
He's like, oh, I just happenstance later.
Had a little shower in the girls room.
There you go.
I'm not using the girls locker room.
What are you doing?
No, no, they've showered the same.
He's just got his head buried in their fucking laundry bag.
It's like all the girls teams are underwear bags.
Of course, I'm kidding you.
I know we all know you're kidding you're a fourth.
You don't have to fucking say it.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
You're kidding, buddy.
Little Dr. Sniffums over here.
I'm going to get a tucky.
You know, you guys, you know all this shit I said also about like,
you got to fucking groupies and shit.
I was just kidding too.
Man, you're forth your hilarious.
Very funny.
All right.
No, we're not.
We want to.
All right, well then pass the J mother fucker.
Oh, I don't even live.
No, no, you're fine, Mark.
No, no, you're fine.
Talk to the needles.
That's fine.
So then what do they say when you were next chemo?
No, I don't like chemo for a while now.
I get to scan thing and then he going to talk to Dr. Bish about doing another stem cell treatment.
So what they want to treat you because you're on a lot of methadone?
No, no, no.
I don't know.
The whole drug thing is who knows.
I just could have visited the guy.
I'm not going to get high while I'm having treatment, but I don't see doing dope.
You still doing street dope?
Yeah, exactly.
They're giving me all the fine drugs.
Man, this stuff ain't good for your brother.
I don't do it, Mike.
I don't do it.
As he drinks premium skull.
Yeah, really?
All right.
Thank you for tuning in, everybody.
And this was the Larry and Neal show with our special guest, Mark.
Hey, thank you.
You're welcome, buddy.
That was great.
Thanks a lot, pal.
Thanks, needles.
Actually not bad, buddy.
Thanks.
Excellent.
Very good.
Fuck off.
Man, skulls got some flavor.
You know what else is nice?
They have traded the Walgreens.
They got Klausens, vodka.
If you had that at Walgreens, the Klausens, it's good.
A little bigger bottle, too, for six bucks.
It's cheaper.
You get a lot more.
Yeah, I don't need that much alcohol.
Right, but it's good that Klausens.
I do need that much alcohol, but...
I like the Klausens.
It's better than skulls.
It's got flavor, but smoother than skull.
And fourth, I just...
I mean...
Let me in the show.