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time to get ready for the Larry and Needle show.

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Music

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Alright, here we go.

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No wait a minute, we're going to start right now.

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No, no wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

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No, no, no.

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Why not?

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You just can't do that Larry.

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Why not man?

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Okay, whatever.

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Why? What do you got to get some heavy preparations?

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More I mean fucking A, I wasn't even planning on doing this.

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You need preparations?

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Look at this.

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Okay here we are, welcome to the Larry and Needle show.

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I'm Larry.

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And I'm Needle.

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And I don't know if we aired the last episode or not man, but I-

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I bet you he's going to get let out.

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I really, when you hear the one where all you can hear is-

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How about-

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When you can literally fuck up one, and then you listen to literally fuck up two,

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this one's really-

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You'll see a pattern.

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This one's really a fuck up though.

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That last one was just a small minor fuck up compared to this one.

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That's right, people can still hear you Larry, and I love you.

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Yeah.

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You know?

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Yeah, which makes me-

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Oh you didn't even give it back.

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I love you too.

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No I don't want to hear it now.

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No if you-

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Hey I got to go check-

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I was distracted.

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I got to go look at something now because I'm paranoid.

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Yeah, well Larry's going to go check the levels and see what's going on.

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Alright so Larry's going back.

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Oh, he sees his boyfriend and he kisses him.

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Man, these guys are embracing themselves.

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This is kind of weird.

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Okay we're good.

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I haven't been this paranoid since I used to fucking-

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Have black fingers?

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Since before Jeff moved to Texas.

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I mean that's a weird statement.

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We used to do a lot of poof with this guy.

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Yeah, I bet you did.

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I mean it wasn't your nickname poof.

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Yeah.

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Actually not even a nickname, that's just what they called you.

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Are you eating a rice cake?

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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No flavor.

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I'm hungry man.

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Okay.

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I mean you could have waited until-

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So yeah, the last episode I was laying down some tracks with my-

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I was making a song.

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Kind of fun.

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My little digital audio workstation and I had the microphone that I thought I was plugged

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into.

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And I was out here, I thought it was out where we were doing this podcast but it was actually

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in another room.

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And?

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So that's why on that last episode you could only hear needles and I sound like a producer

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guy from the background.

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And that was a big fuck up.

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That was my biggest fuck up so far.

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Well no, we got fuck up Larry fucks up number one and we got Larry fucks up number two.

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Like I said-

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Yeah but Larry's fuck up number one is nothing compared to the fuck up that I just did.

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But it was a whole episode this one.

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It's alright though.

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Listen, we're personable.

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Yeah last time we lost-

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If people want to listen they'll listen if they don't fuck them.

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I mean really?

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What are you looking for?

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I'm not looking for anything.

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I just want to rip on you.

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Call you gay.

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Hey fuck off.

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Yeah now all of a sudden you're going to get salty because you just ruined the whole

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episode.

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No I didn't ruin this episode.

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I didn't get to bring that up.

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You're going to ruin this episode.

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I'm going to bring that up if we do 60,000 episodes of the fucking 59,999 I'm still going

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to bring it up.

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I'm never going to let you live that down Larry.

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Never going to let you down.

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I don't really fucking care at all.

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The guy's a ginger right?

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Who?

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The guy who sings that song.

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I don't even know who it is.

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Are you going to rip that thing or what?

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Because I don't have a re-heater.

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Dude man, all I do is fucking get you high.

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Oh thanks.

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You gotta fucking get me high once in a while.

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Sure.

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Okay no problem.

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So no.

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So no I can't smoke that joint?

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And why would you just air that laundry out there like that?

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You make me sound like a complete fucking dirtbag which I am but not to that degree.

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He gets me high.

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He didn't get me high today.

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So what have you done to me lately?

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You just airing your fucking dirty laundry out?

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What do you mean dirty laundry?

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Yeah because obviously there's a feeling.

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Like it's a secret that works.

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You just see things and they're high.

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Is it bad if I put my cell phone on my leg?

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Well give me nut cancer.

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Yeah it will.

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Probably will.

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Yeah.

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Everything emits radiation right?

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Mm-hmm.

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To some degree.

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Yeah but you don't want your balls emitting radiation.

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Well it depends.

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What are you planning on doing with it?

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Nut.

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I don't know.

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Are you gonna fucking fuel your rocket ship with it?

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I'm gonna bang my rocket ship.

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I'm just outside fucking the gas hole.

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This guy really loves rockets.

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Fuck man.

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What's that?

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Lab called in.

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I don't know.

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Okay.

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I'm doing this voting thing.

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Okay well I don't care.

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Hello.

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Hello.

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Hello?

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Yeah.

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Hello this is the National Police and Trooper Association.

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We're calling over to let them know the new drive is underway.

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Like always your support will go to representing the needs of law enforcement officers whether

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that means for better equipment or staff or fair wage.

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We also believe in the family of all officers who receive assistance from the law enforcement

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officers.

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So if we send you a message on your non-taxed uptool support.

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We support the police.

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Yeah sure.

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Send me an envelope.

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How much is the minimum donation?

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There are three levels of support.

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There we go.

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25, a 35 and a $50 level.

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Okay.

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That is best for you.

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I'm going to send you some information in the mail.

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Yeah send some information in the mail and I'll check it out and then I'll get into it

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and send it back to you guys.

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How's that sound?

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We need a commitment to send it out wherever your heart needs your budget.

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Oh man.

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25, 25 or 20.

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Which one do you need?

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You can't commit to a one year lease.

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I can't commit to it man.

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I gotta let you go.

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I'm in the middle of, I'm working right now.

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I'm sorry buddy.

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Okay.

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Well I mean.

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If you want to call this work.

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I had to hang up on that guy because I don't, I'm rude and I don't know how to deal with

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people on a normal level.

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It's not that you're rude that you want.

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If they can send you physical information.

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Yeah that's the second guy at the time this guy called for me.

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Oh mother.

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Is he calling back?

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Doctor man.

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No this is my mother.

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Oh well.

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Shit.

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All right we're back.

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Oh we are hot again?

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Look at this guy.

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Sorry about that rough cut edit there.

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My mother called me to tell me.

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What would you say something about that?

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My mom called me to tell me that you know sorry that I haven't been cooking any food

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and but she didn't cook tonight either but just let me know.

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Sorry.

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I'm not going to cook tomorrow either.

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I'm kind of doing something right now.

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Well I mean you love your mom right?

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Yes I love my mom.

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So we have to pause the podcast.

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So it's all good because you know the truth is.

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Shout out to Emery.

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You know she feeds me a lot.

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Someone has to.

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She lives very close walking distance and I eat there all the time and she's an excellent

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cook and I wouldn't want it any other way.

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Sugar baby and a mama's boy.

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Oh my god.

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Listen to you.

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I got it all going on.

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Let me tell you on Grindr you'd be a fucking gold star.

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Everybody wants it.

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And you eat rice cakes?

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Gold star sugar baby.

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I'm sure that's code for something.

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I like rice cakes.

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Sure.

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I'm sure it's like some weird nasty salmon.

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God only knows.

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In a Porta John.

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Rice cakes.

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Can't do something with George Michael or something I think.

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Don't you diss George Michael.

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I love Wham.

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Fuck you.

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And you know what?

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Careless Whisper.

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George Michael just went over a billion watches.

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What the fuck is that?

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You know I heard Careless Whisper?

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No.

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I'm sorry.

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Oh my gosh.

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Later you and I are going to fight for the first time on the podcast.

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God man come on.

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Listen I love Wham.

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And George Michael was the shit.

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That's the gayest fucking shit.

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What do you mean that's the gayest shit?

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You.

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I just think it is man.

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I mean you can like it.

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It's okay.

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Dude Wham rocks dude.

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Fucking Jitterbug.

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Come on baby.

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I don't think I heard Jitterbug.

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Man you've heard a lot of this shit.

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I don't think I paid attention.

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I think one of my girlfriends was listening to while she was sucking my dick or something.

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You're such a tough guy.

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Oh you're skinny jeans.

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I heard skinny jeans.

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Oh they're not that skinny today.

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They don't look like someone threw up in a fucking plaid pajama pants.

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Fuck you.

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Guys and motherfuckers got 47 zippers.

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That one could hold a bag of catamines.

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Yeah they could all hold a bag.

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No they couldn't.

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They're all shallow.

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Just like you.

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I load those fucking zippers with joints when I go to punk rock shows man.

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I'm the only guy that's able to pull out.

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You're the only guy that everybody's watching because they think you're a pedophile.

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That's off man.

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They're like first of all where do you think I go?

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I'll wait you just fucking.

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Well you're the one who just said you go to punk shows.

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Little tits, rollers, skating rinks or something.

274
00:09:39,260 --> 00:09:40,260
I mean you just said it.

275
00:09:40,260 --> 00:09:42,060
I don't know is that where you go?

276
00:09:42,060 --> 00:09:43,900
Yeah that's where you go.

277
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:48,060
I just see you just sniffing seats wherever you go.

278
00:09:48,060 --> 00:09:49,560
Like excuse me.

279
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,420
You bring your caution tape with you and put it in front of the ladies room.

280
00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:57,100
Just gonna get a couple sniffs before dinner.

281
00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:58,100
Whatever.

282
00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:00,100
Whatever's the bad shit.

283
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,700
I don't know what you're talking about.

284
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:03,700
It's the greatest answer.

285
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:08,700
You know exactly what I'm talking about Larry?

286
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:09,700
I mean come on.

287
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:16,260
He's trying to deter from the fact that you're a seat sniffer.

288
00:10:16,260 --> 00:10:17,260
But that's alright though.

289
00:10:17,260 --> 00:10:19,100
You know everybody likes what they like.

290
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:22,060
I know and you always have been a projector.

291
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:23,060
Of what?

292
00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:24,900
You know you project what you do on other people.

293
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:25,900
I do.

294
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:27,140
I tell you my own life's an open book.

295
00:10:27,140 --> 00:10:28,140
You know that.

296
00:10:28,140 --> 00:10:32,820
I know and you also what you do you tell other people they do like you're a seat sniffer

297
00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:34,300
or gay all that shit.

298
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,460
I've never sniffed a seat.

299
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,500
Well no I never have.

300
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,500
Okay.

301
00:10:38,500 --> 00:10:39,500
Yeah right.

302
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,500
I'm trying to think about it.

303
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,500
I wouldn't be honest with you.

304
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:42,500
Come on.

305
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:45,260
All of a sudden I stopped being honest to Larry.

306
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:47,260
I've never sniffed a seat.

307
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,700
But there was this guy that he got busted.

308
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:51,700
He snipped right out of straight out of his ass.

309
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:52,860
No no listen you know what he would do?

310
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:59,820
He would take a saran wrap and put it in a toilet and ladies would piss in it and then

311
00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:02,020
he would collect the saran wrap after.

312
00:11:02,020 --> 00:11:05,140
Oh that's a fucking wonderful guy.

313
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:08,820
I mean I'm not saying this guy's Jesus but I mean this guy.

314
00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:10,300
This guy got a mission dude.

315
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,300
I mean did you drink it?

316
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:12,300
I mean did he drink it?

317
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:13,300
Did I drink it?

318
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:14,460
Did he drink it?

319
00:11:14,460 --> 00:11:15,460
I don't know what he did.

320
00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:16,460
The guys who collected the piss.

321
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:18,460
I mean you can only imagine if this guy's going into a relationship.

322
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,620
How do you know he did it?

323
00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:21,460
Cause he got arrested for it.

324
00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:22,460
Oh he did.

325
00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:23,460
Yeah.

326
00:11:23,460 --> 00:11:24,460
Nice.

327
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:25,460
I mean I'm not.

328
00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:26,460
I just didn't make this story up.

329
00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:27,460
Well.

330
00:11:27,460 --> 00:11:28,460
This guy used to put some.

331
00:11:28,460 --> 00:11:33,900
I thought you were telling me it was your cousin or your friend or something.

332
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:36,420
Fucking Larry the sneets and the.

333
00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:37,420
Shit the seat sniffer.

334
00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:39,420
Fuck it.

335
00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:40,420
Needles the seat sniffer motherfucking dog.

336
00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:42,620
That does sound a little bit more.

337
00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:45,380
Needles the sneets sniffer seat sniffer dog.

338
00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:46,380
What's that?

339
00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:48,860
That'd be a good children's book.

340
00:11:48,860 --> 00:11:49,860
Needles the seat sniffer dog.

341
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:50,860
Maybe my lounge act.

342
00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:51,860
That's my lounge act.

343
00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:53,860
Yeah but not the dog.

344
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:55,500
Where did the dog come in?

345
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:56,980
Cause it's a children's book.

346
00:11:56,980 --> 00:11:58,820
That doesn't make any sense to you.

347
00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:01,700
He helps the cops through sniffing people's ass.

348
00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:02,700
Who does?

349
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:03,700
Needles the sneets.

350
00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:04,700
Seat sniffer dog.

351
00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:05,700
Why are you trying to kick me out of here?

352
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:06,700
Get away from me.

353
00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:08,900
Come on man.

354
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:11,660
I need to smoke a little bit more of this by myself.

355
00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:13,180
Just get over there in your fucking seat.

356
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:14,900
You didn't even record the last episode.

357
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:15,900
Come on.

358
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,420
I need to fucking relax or I'll kill you.

359
00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:20,420
I'll give you this in a second I promise.

360
00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:23,340
Just let me have a couple more bucks.

361
00:12:23,340 --> 00:12:25,140
What is that called though?

362
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,140
Something to.

363
00:12:26,140 --> 00:12:27,140
Pave your intentions.

364
00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:28,140
Pave your intentions.

365
00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:29,140
Pave your intentions.

366
00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:31,140
No, something's paved with good intentions.

367
00:12:31,140 --> 00:12:33,860
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

368
00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:35,860
Is it the road to hell?

369
00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:36,860
Really?

370
00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:37,860
Yeah.

371
00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:38,860
What's a good intention though?

372
00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:42,100
I'm going to go bang this hooker and then I won't get AIDS.

373
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:46,660
I'm going to bang this hooker and go lay down with my wife.

374
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:47,660
I don't know.

375
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:48,980
What's a good intention?

376
00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:49,980
Good intentions.

377
00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:56,580
Hey man, I gave my buddy a couple extra bags of dope.

378
00:12:56,580 --> 00:12:58,220
Oh shit, you didn't die.

379
00:12:58,220 --> 00:12:59,220
Holy shit.

380
00:12:59,220 --> 00:13:00,220
I meant to be nice.

381
00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:02,220
You got really kind of real for a second.

382
00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:06,660
You know there was a real quick road to hell with a good intention.

383
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:09,660
Usually it takes many good intentions to get you there.

384
00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:11,500
That was a quick one.

385
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,500
How is it?

386
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,540
I don't understand how that's feasible though.

387
00:13:15,540 --> 00:13:17,740
I mean in my mind the road to hell.

388
00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:18,740
Don't you understand what that means?

389
00:13:18,740 --> 00:13:19,740
I mean what's good intentions?

390
00:13:19,740 --> 00:13:21,740
I never have good intentions.

391
00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:23,300
Well see then you wouldn't know.

392
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,220
I mean do you have good intentions?

393
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,660
It doesn't surprise me that you never have good intentions.

394
00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:30,340
So before you spoke to a joint you're like oh I have good intentions.

395
00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:31,340
Yeah.

396
00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:32,340
Really?

397
00:13:32,340 --> 00:13:35,780
I'm not going to covet my neighbor's wife.

398
00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:36,780
You couldn't.

399
00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:37,780
He's bigger than you.

400
00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:42,280
And so is she.

401
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,460
She'd give you a run for your money Larry.

402
00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:49,060
Well it doesn't matter because I wouldn't do that.

403
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:51,140
Okay so next would you steal?

404
00:13:51,140 --> 00:13:52,540
No I would not steal.

405
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:57,380
No you steal kisses from dudes all the time.

406
00:13:57,380 --> 00:14:03,340
Next?

407
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:04,340
I wouldn't kill.

408
00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:05,340
I wouldn't murder.

409
00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:06,340
I would kill.

410
00:14:06,340 --> 00:14:07,340
I would kill.

411
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:08,340
I wouldn't murder.

412
00:14:08,340 --> 00:14:09,860
Well you wouldn't do it with.

413
00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:10,860
I wouldn't murder.

414
00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:11,860
You wouldn't do it.

415
00:14:11,860 --> 00:14:15,100
It spur the moment somebody comes into your house.

416
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:17,100
Hypothetically Larry has guns.

417
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,100
Might have to kill him.

418
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:20,380
But you know I wouldn't murder somebody.

419
00:14:20,380 --> 00:14:23,500
Illinois is not a shoot to right state.

420
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:26,700
You have to leave your house.

421
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:27,700
Bring the right.

422
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:28,700
What does that mean?

423
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:29,700
Oh whatever.

424
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,980
Okay now you're just making fictitious stuff up.

425
00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:34,540
Okay but you can't just shoot a purpose.

426
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,060
Let me see it there.

427
00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:39,540
Since you're up you just can't kill somebody in Illinois.

428
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:44,620
When they break in your house you literally have to leave your premises and then if you

429
00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:45,620
do kill them there's a human investigation.

430
00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:47,020
No no here's what it is.

431
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,620
You could put up as much force as they're putting up.

432
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:50,620
Not at all.

433
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:51,620
Yeah.

434
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:52,620
Not at all.

435
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:53,620
If an intruder enters your house and you kill him.

436
00:14:53,620 --> 00:14:54,620
My wife was a fucking lawyer.

437
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:56,900
I'm more liable for that person.

438
00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:58,700
My wife was a public defender.

439
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:01,980
Texas you shoot first, ask questions later.

440
00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:04,620
Yeah but what?

441
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:09,380
My wife was a public defender in Cook County, Illinois in Chicago.

442
00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:14,500
And fucking if someone's coming at you with a bat you can come at them with a bat.

443
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:18,460
Because your life is in danger.

444
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:19,460
Yeah.

445
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:23,500
If the motherfucker has a gun.

446
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:31,020
But there are multitudes of cases that have been proven wrong by people shooting intruders.

447
00:15:31,020 --> 00:15:36,300
Well I know someone that killed someone in self defense and they fucking had to do time

448
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,300
and shit.

449
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:40,140
Well if it was self defense why did they have to do time?

450
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,460
They still had to do time man.

451
00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:43,960
How long?

452
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:47,100
Three four years.

453
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:48,100
Federal County or state?

454
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:49,100
I don't remember man.

455
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,100
I don't know.

456
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,100
It was a long ass time.

457
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:57,300
I think you'll do 50% federal you'll do 75%.

458
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:58,300
Well I don't know.

459
00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:00,900
I think I don't remember.

460
00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:01,900
But you remember what?

461
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:06,540
I don't know if he did federal or fucking state but all I know is even though it was

462
00:16:06,540 --> 00:16:13,580
self defense and they ruled itself defense the motherfucker still had to do some time.

463
00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:14,580
I'll tell you right now.

464
00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:15,580
Okay so there was a late.

465
00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:17,940
Because he's still regardless manslaughtered somebody.

466
00:16:17,940 --> 00:16:22,140
There's been people downtown in the city that people have tried to rob them.

467
00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:23,140
It's on camera.

468
00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:25,020
They pull out their pistol.

469
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:26,340
They're concealed carry.

470
00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:28,020
They kill them.

471
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,020
Absolved.

472
00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:31,020
They're okay?

473
00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:32,020
Yeah.

474
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:35,100
Now you're a murderer.

475
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,100
Why?

476
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:40,420
Because you just killed somebody but you're absolved by the courts because this person

477
00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:41,420
attacked you.

478
00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:42,820
Well you're not a murderer then man.

479
00:16:42,820 --> 00:16:44,380
You're just protecting your shit.

480
00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:45,380
Exactly.

481
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:51,020
You gotta think about that every day and every night.

482
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:53,300
It's different than killing somebody drunk driving.

483
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:56,980
Well it's different than killing anybody any other way.

484
00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:57,980
Because you're pulling the trigger.

485
00:16:57,980 --> 00:17:02,740
If you shoot them, listen shooting people have you ever seen a person shot?

486
00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:04,060
Yeah after the fact.

487
00:17:04,060 --> 00:17:05,100
I never saw anyone get shot before.

488
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:06,100
In person?

489
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:07,100
Yeah.

490
00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:08,100
Okay.

491
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:09,100
But.

492
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:10,100
It's not a good scene.

493
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:11,100
No.

494
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:12,100
A bullet does a lot of damage.

495
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:13,100
It does.

496
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,100
Listen.

497
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,100
You should get Jeff on here Mr.

498
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:17,100
A knife is the way to go.

499
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:18,540
Shot three times in the abdomen.

500
00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:20,220
A knife is the way to go.

501
00:17:20,220 --> 00:17:21,740
You tell you about bullet wounds.

502
00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:23,220
A knife is the way to go.

503
00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:25,020
It's very personable.

504
00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:27,020
But a gun.

505
00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:28,020
Woof.

506
00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:31,460
That shit blows your back out and not like you banging a fat girl.

507
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:32,460
No.

508
00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:33,460
Oh man.

509
00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:34,460
But.

510
00:17:34,460 --> 00:17:35,460
Well I might.

511
00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:37,660
I mean this is Larry's phone episode.

512
00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:38,660
Here we go.

513
00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:39,660
Yeah man.

514
00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:40,660
I'm a pop.

515
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:41,660
I mean come on dude.

516
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:42,660
Always.

517
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:46,860
Alright sorry for that abrupt.

518
00:17:46,860 --> 00:17:49,860
So Larry had to take a phone call for fucking 15 minutes.

519
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,580
Yeah sorry for that abrupt.

520
00:17:51,580 --> 00:17:52,580
About nothing at all.

521
00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:53,580
Well you know.

522
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:55,580
I mean you gotta tickle someone's pickle.

523
00:17:55,580 --> 00:18:02,180
Yeah or else to fucking record here and he's a little drunk and fucking.

524
00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:03,180
So you gotta listen.

525
00:18:03,180 --> 00:18:04,340
You know he's one of my peeps.

526
00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:08,340
I can't fucking chump him off and do whatever you want.

527
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:10,740
Plus you know I gotta make some money and uh.

528
00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:14,820
We all know how you do that.

529
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:15,820
Yeah.

530
00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:16,820
I didn't say anything.

531
00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:17,820
Cause he's one of my god.

532
00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:18,820
He's one of my uh.

533
00:18:18,820 --> 00:18:19,820
Johns.

534
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:27,740
Oh my god Larry a huge revelation for the show.

535
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:28,740
Larry's a prostitute.

536
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:30,740
Do you have an only fans?

537
00:18:30,740 --> 00:18:31,740
No.

538
00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:32,740
You should do an only fans.

539
00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:33,740
Man.

540
00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:34,740
Just do a butthole.

541
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:35,740
That's it.

542
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,740
We'll cover up your balls and everything else when you just do your butthole.

543
00:18:38,740 --> 00:18:41,340
No one wants that man.

544
00:18:41,340 --> 00:18:43,340
How do you know?

545
00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:45,340
I don't wanna.

546
00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:46,340
I don't wanna do that.

547
00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:47,340
You wanna make money?

548
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:48,340
Nah man.

549
00:18:48,340 --> 00:18:50,940
If you gotta do that you ain't got no game.

550
00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:53,420
Well maybe no soul.

551
00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:56,020
No game is different.

552
00:18:56,020 --> 00:19:00,700
Well if you gotta show your fucking ass.

553
00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,460
Fucking you ain't got no game.

554
00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:03,460
If that's your fucking.

555
00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:04,460
What are you talking about?

556
00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:05,460
If that's your thing.

557
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:06,460
And that's the only thing.

558
00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:13,460
Tell me that a hot chick that goes on only fans shows her fucking butthole and.

559
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:14,460
That bitch can't make.

560
00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:15,460
Thousands of dudes pay her.

561
00:19:15,460 --> 00:19:16,780
That bitch ain't got no game.

562
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,340
She can't make a sandwich.

563
00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:19,820
She's not good.

564
00:19:19,820 --> 00:19:23,340
Wow that was completely sexist.

565
00:19:23,340 --> 00:19:25,300
She can't make a sandwich.

566
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:28,300
That's your first fucking interjection.

567
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,300
I'm just thinking you know amongst everything man.

568
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:32,860
No that was your first one.

569
00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:36,300
What do you mean you should have been like I don't even know what else you're trying

570
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,300
to get at.

571
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,300
She can't make a sandwich.

572
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:40,300
Jesus Larry.

573
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:41,300
She might look good.

574
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:42,300
You're gonna get us careful.

575
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:44,140
She probably doesn't even know how to fuck.

576
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:45,140
You know.

577
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,140
Probably chances are.

578
00:19:46,140 --> 00:19:47,140
I mean any girl knows how to fuck.

579
00:19:47,140 --> 00:19:48,140
Well yeah but I mean well.

580
00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:49,340
Well wait a second.

581
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:51,140
Any girl that's overly lean.

582
00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:54,300
Really knows how to fuck.

583
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:55,300
Larry.

584
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:56,300
Anyways.

585
00:19:56,300 --> 00:20:00,620
So yeah you know they might look good and that's their fucking thing and you know God

586
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:01,620
bless them.

587
00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:06,140
I hope they make millions of dollars but they ain't got no game for real and the real

588
00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:07,140
world.

589
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:08,140
I don't know what that means.

590
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,140
They have huge game.

591
00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:10,140
It means they have only talent.

592
00:20:10,140 --> 00:20:13,140
They're making millions of dollars off of dudes.

593
00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:15,860
Well I guess that's their thing man.

594
00:20:15,860 --> 00:20:18,420
They've never met these people and they're giving them money.

595
00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:21,300
They will never touch them or see them.

596
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,300
Okay well that's a thing.

597
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:24,140
It's not like old prostitution.

598
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,700
Like you okay listen.

599
00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:30,180
These guys give this lady let's say two hundred dollars.

600
00:20:30,180 --> 00:20:34,020
You can get a hooker for two hundred dollars and touch someone.

601
00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:35,020
Yeah.

602
00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:36,660
But they can't do that.

603
00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:40,740
They're just sitting in front of their computer just whacking it.

604
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:45,540
Well those people that fucking contribute to that are pretty dumb too but whatever.

605
00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:47,060
Pay for sex is nothing new.

606
00:20:47,060 --> 00:20:48,060
No I know that's fine.

607
00:20:48,060 --> 00:20:49,060
But with no contact.

608
00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:50,060
The prostitute has more game.

609
00:20:50,060 --> 00:20:51,060
With no contact.

610
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:53,940
At least the prostitute has some game.

611
00:20:53,940 --> 00:20:58,260
Yes but Larry I'm talking about they have no contact with these ladies.

612
00:20:58,260 --> 00:21:01,900
I'm gonna send you two hundred dollars and all you're gonna do is show me pictures of

613
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:02,900
your pussy.

614
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:03,900
Yeah I wouldn't send it.

615
00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:05,020
I wouldn't send the money.

616
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:06,020
I wouldn't want to.

617
00:21:06,020 --> 00:21:08,740
But I'm not talking about you Larry.

618
00:21:08,740 --> 00:21:10,140
Okay that's crazy.

619
00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:11,380
You finally realized it.

620
00:21:11,380 --> 00:21:13,380
That's crazy to me then.

621
00:21:13,380 --> 00:21:14,380
What do you mean what's crazy?

622
00:21:14,380 --> 00:21:15,380
That's crazy.

623
00:21:15,380 --> 00:21:16,380
To me that's insane.

624
00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:22,500
That some guy would send money to a woman for her pussy pictures.

625
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:23,500
That's crazy to you.

626
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:24,500
Kind of yeah.

627
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:25,500
You have a wife.

628
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:26,500
I don't know.

629
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:27,500
Even if I didn't.

630
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:34,820
You don't think that's I mean you've never heard of fucking pain for sex.

631
00:21:34,820 --> 00:21:36,020
Oh yeah that's okay.

632
00:21:36,020 --> 00:21:37,020
The world's oldest.

633
00:21:37,020 --> 00:21:38,020
So that's the fucking.

634
00:21:38,020 --> 00:21:39,020
The world's oldest.

635
00:21:39,020 --> 00:21:42,220
That's the lowest denominator of pain for sex.

636
00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:43,220
I guess so man.

637
00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:47,820
Is pussy pictures and me giving you a video of a dude fucking me.

638
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:51,220
Alright well I mean you know you could just tune in at any point.

639
00:21:51,220 --> 00:21:52,380
I mean not like me though.

640
00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:56,060
I mean I should retract that statement.

641
00:21:56,060 --> 00:21:57,660
That sounds very condescending.

642
00:21:57,660 --> 00:21:59,660
That's your fucking only fan page.

643
00:21:59,660 --> 00:22:00,660
Yeah I know.

644
00:22:00,660 --> 00:22:02,780
I must up my gig there.

645
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:04,100
Shit.

646
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:06,140
But if you're gonna make money listen.

647
00:22:06,140 --> 00:22:09,420
It's so much easier for a fucking woman to make money.

648
00:22:09,420 --> 00:22:10,420
My shit.

649
00:22:10,420 --> 00:22:12,540
Don't burn the place down.

650
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:13,540
Yeah.

651
00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:14,540
Right.

652
00:22:14,540 --> 00:22:15,540
It's much easier.

653
00:22:15,540 --> 00:22:17,620
If you're a good looking chick man.

654
00:22:17,620 --> 00:22:18,860
Fuck.

655
00:22:18,860 --> 00:22:21,780
You don't even have to be that good looking.

656
00:22:21,780 --> 00:22:22,780
Actually you don't.

657
00:22:22,780 --> 00:22:25,060
You just gotta be a chick.

658
00:22:25,060 --> 00:22:26,500
And nowadays you can.

659
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:28,060
Women go on there and you can tell them what.

660
00:22:28,060 --> 00:22:31,900
I mean I see you know and it depends certain things turn on different people.

661
00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:33,100
Not everybody wants to.

662
00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:38,380
Some guys like hey I want you to put your fist in your asshole and I'll pay you 50 bucks.

663
00:22:38,380 --> 00:22:40,060
Chicks like well man might be more than that.

664
00:22:40,060 --> 00:22:42,380
I've never done that but.

665
00:22:42,380 --> 00:22:43,380
Come on bullshit.

666
00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:44,380
I've never done.

667
00:22:44,380 --> 00:22:45,460
I've watched webcams.

668
00:22:45,460 --> 00:22:49,660
I've never interacted with any of the women ever.

669
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:50,980
See and that's what I mean.

670
00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:51,980
It's like.

671
00:22:51,980 --> 00:22:53,780
No I just.

672
00:22:53,780 --> 00:22:58,220
What's been doing that now are they paying extra and then anyone can watch it.

673
00:22:58,220 --> 00:22:59,220
Liri.

674
00:22:59,220 --> 00:23:00,220
Okay so.

675
00:23:00,220 --> 00:23:01,220
So while I'm watching.

676
00:23:01,220 --> 00:23:02,720
The guy calling the shots.

677
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:03,720
Well listen.

678
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:04,720
Pay 200 and other people watching.

679
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:05,720
Pay 20.

680
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:06,720
How does that work.

681
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,100
What they do is they tip them while they go along.

682
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:13,860
And then what they do is it's a they bait you to go into a private show and then you

683
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:14,860
have to pay more.

684
00:23:14,860 --> 00:23:17,100
It's like a strip club.

685
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:18,100
It really is.

686
00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:19,100
Okay.

687
00:23:19,100 --> 00:23:20,780
I just thought I just realized that it's like a strip club.

688
00:23:20,780 --> 00:23:24,060
And then you go in the back room and get a lap dance.

689
00:23:24,060 --> 00:23:25,540
But with virtually.

690
00:23:25,540 --> 00:23:26,540
So called lap dance.

691
00:23:26,540 --> 00:23:27,540
Well I mean.

692
00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:28,540
I'm not going to laugh.

693
00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:29,540
I'm wearing sweat pants.

694
00:23:29,540 --> 00:23:30,540
Allegedly.

695
00:23:30,540 --> 00:23:31,540
You know what I mean.

696
00:23:31,540 --> 00:23:35,140
Never wear sweat pants to a strip club.

697
00:23:35,140 --> 00:23:36,140
No undies.

698
00:23:36,140 --> 00:23:38,300
Commando dude.

699
00:23:38,300 --> 00:23:39,300
Let me tell you.

700
00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:41,220
Good pair of champions.

701
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:43,220
Tight waistband.

702
00:23:43,220 --> 00:23:44,220
Man.

703
00:23:44,220 --> 00:23:48,460
You gotta watch out what color you wear.

704
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:50,900
No.

705
00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:55,220
I'm not a strip club guy anymore.

706
00:23:55,220 --> 00:23:58,620
I'm not a strip club guy anymore.

707
00:23:58,620 --> 00:23:59,620
Me either.

708
00:23:59,620 --> 00:24:04,140
I'd imagine the strip clubs aren't doing so great because people don't have as many

709
00:24:04,140 --> 00:24:05,660
ones to give away.

710
00:24:05,660 --> 00:24:07,860
What are you talking about.

711
00:24:07,860 --> 00:24:11,340
You know them bitches don't make as much money as they used to make I bet.

712
00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:12,340
How do you know.

713
00:24:12,340 --> 00:24:13,900
Because man times are tight.

714
00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:19,100
It's just like your asshole but I mean you know what the fuck women are making.

715
00:24:19,100 --> 00:24:20,660
I'm just guessing motherfucker.

716
00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:23,420
Oh yeah then why you're making a generalized statement.

717
00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:24,420
Cuz man.

718
00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:27,580
Dude strippers are making more money than you sugar babies.

719
00:24:27,580 --> 00:24:28,900
So you better calm down.

720
00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:30,820
I know that.

721
00:24:30,820 --> 00:24:32,900
But what I'm saying is.

722
00:24:32,900 --> 00:24:33,900
What's that.

723
00:24:33,900 --> 00:24:35,140
What are you saying Larry.

724
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:39,740
People don't have as many ones to be fucking putting in the strippers.

725
00:24:39,740 --> 00:24:40,740
Okay this is crap.

726
00:24:40,740 --> 00:24:43,340
Okay I'm going to tell you right now.

727
00:24:43,340 --> 00:24:50,340
If I go into HBs right now and I bring a hundred dollars they will more than happily

728
00:24:50,340 --> 00:24:54,460
exchange it for one hundred dollar bills.

729
00:24:54,460 --> 00:24:58,900
And I'll tell you right now if I lick 50% of them and put the other 25 in my ass I'll

730
00:24:58,900 --> 00:25:05,220
probably get high off a coke.

731
00:25:05,220 --> 00:25:08,020
But you don't think a strip club is going to change your money.

732
00:25:08,020 --> 00:25:10,180
Of course they will.

733
00:25:10,180 --> 00:25:13,500
Yeah then what are you talking about they're running out of dollar bills.

734
00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:14,580
No dummy.

735
00:25:14,580 --> 00:25:19,820
I'm saying people don't have the hundred dollar bill to go in there to hand them.

736
00:25:19,820 --> 00:25:20,820
Yes they do.

737
00:25:20,820 --> 00:25:23,820
Oh motherfucker.

738
00:25:23,820 --> 00:25:25,060
You don't think people.

739
00:25:25,060 --> 00:25:26,060
Not as many people.

740
00:25:26,060 --> 00:25:28,660
Okay listen I'm going to tell you El Capone.

741
00:25:28,660 --> 00:25:29,660
A lot of them.

742
00:25:29,660 --> 00:25:30,660
El Capone said.

743
00:25:30,660 --> 00:25:31,660
A few of those dollars.

744
00:25:31,660 --> 00:25:32,940
It's a few less lap dances.

745
00:25:32,940 --> 00:25:35,460
A few of them dollars went in the gas tank.

746
00:25:35,460 --> 00:25:39,340
And a lot of them dollars went to the fucking food grocery store.

747
00:25:39,340 --> 00:25:42,100
And your ass tank.

748
00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:45,940
You got to buy Bud Plugs and everything else and fucking.

749
00:25:45,940 --> 00:25:46,940
What?

750
00:25:46,940 --> 00:25:48,340
You think that card?

751
00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:49,340
Yeah.

752
00:25:49,340 --> 00:25:52,980
But at the same time El Capone always said what's the two things that go to go out of

753
00:25:52,980 --> 00:25:55,020
style during the recession.

754
00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:57,020
Horses in alcohol.

755
00:25:57,020 --> 00:25:58,020
Right?

756
00:25:58,020 --> 00:25:59,020
Right.

757
00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:00,020
Exactly.

758
00:26:00,020 --> 00:26:02,420
I got to find my jacket.

759
00:26:02,420 --> 00:26:04,460
For what you're going to leave again?

760
00:26:04,460 --> 00:26:06,660
Where are you going man?

761
00:26:06,660 --> 00:26:07,660
For what?

762
00:26:07,660 --> 00:26:09,660
I don't know.

763
00:26:09,660 --> 00:26:12,660
You're just going to Walgreens.

764
00:26:12,660 --> 00:26:17,220
Hey Mary is my puffy coat up there?

765
00:26:17,220 --> 00:26:18,660
My black puffy coat.

766
00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:23,660
Oh I got to be racist.

767
00:26:23,660 --> 00:26:24,660
Hey.

768
00:26:24,660 --> 00:26:25,660
Talk to me.

769
00:26:25,660 --> 00:26:30,180
Now we're going to have to fucking pause this shit.

770
00:26:30,180 --> 00:26:31,180
You just keep leaving.

771
00:26:31,180 --> 00:26:32,180
Is it it?

772
00:26:32,180 --> 00:26:34,300
The fucking Larry Wanderer's episode.

773
00:26:34,300 --> 00:26:36,180
Jesus Christ man.

774
00:26:36,180 --> 00:26:38,460
A phone call.

775
00:26:38,460 --> 00:26:40,700
I had more interruptions in this motherfucker.

776
00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:43,860
Yeah you have but I'm fucking subjected to all this shit.

777
00:26:43,860 --> 00:26:45,180
Oh man shit.

778
00:26:45,180 --> 00:26:48,380
All of a sudden Mr. Fucking Needles has been subjected.

779
00:26:48,380 --> 00:26:49,380
Yeah.

780
00:26:49,380 --> 00:26:52,460
That's how you should refer to me from now on is Mr. Needles.

781
00:26:52,460 --> 00:26:53,460
Yeah.

782
00:26:53,460 --> 00:26:54,460
I like that.

783
00:26:54,460 --> 00:26:55,460
Mr. Ass Clown.

784
00:26:55,460 --> 00:26:56,460
Thank you Larry.

785
00:26:56,460 --> 00:26:57,460
Because I'm a what?

786
00:26:57,460 --> 00:26:58,460
I said Mr. Ass Clown.

787
00:26:58,460 --> 00:26:59,460
That's the family story.

788
00:26:59,460 --> 00:27:03,740
Let me ask my wife does she have a fucking.

789
00:27:03,740 --> 00:27:04,740
My lawyer.

790
00:27:04,740 --> 00:27:07,180
Does she have my shit that she needs?

791
00:27:07,180 --> 00:27:10,180
Did you have the thing Larry?

792
00:27:10,180 --> 00:27:12,180
Ah fuck man.

793
00:27:12,180 --> 00:27:13,180
What?

794
00:27:13,180 --> 00:27:14,180
What's fucking wrong?

795
00:27:14,180 --> 00:27:15,660
Alright I'm going to press pause.

796
00:27:15,660 --> 00:27:16,660
Why?

797
00:27:16,660 --> 00:27:17,660
What's wrong?

798
00:27:17,660 --> 00:27:18,660
Alright.

799
00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:19,660
Man Larry.

800
00:27:19,660 --> 00:27:20,660
Back again.

801
00:27:20,660 --> 00:27:30,660
Larry just had a grinder date and it was very uncomfortable.

802
00:27:30,660 --> 00:27:31,660
Ah.

803
00:27:31,660 --> 00:27:33,660
How'd it feel?

804
00:27:33,660 --> 00:27:36,660
I'm fucking tired man.

805
00:27:36,660 --> 00:27:38,300
I bet he wore your ass out right?

806
00:27:38,300 --> 00:27:39,500
I wore out like a motherfucker.

807
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:40,500
I could barely breathe.

808
00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:41,500
Well.

809
00:27:41,500 --> 00:27:42,500
After the grinder.

810
00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:43,500
I know.

811
00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:44,500
I can't breathe.

812
00:27:44,500 --> 00:27:54,300
After the grinder date I had my wife also ran me through the ringer just now.

813
00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:55,940
Yeah she just took her credit cards.

814
00:27:55,940 --> 00:27:58,940
She doesn't want anything else to do with you.

815
00:27:58,940 --> 00:28:05,060
Even though you're a sugar baby she's like giving you her money which is technically

816
00:28:05,060 --> 00:28:06,060
her money.

817
00:28:06,060 --> 00:28:07,060
Man that's cyclical.

818
00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:11,140
Ah is it crazy it goes to the big fucking.

819
00:28:11,140 --> 00:28:15,020
It's the tightest circle ever in a Venn diagram.

820
00:28:15,020 --> 00:28:18,220
Mary's bunny Larry the pool boy.

821
00:28:18,220 --> 00:28:20,220
And that's it.

822
00:28:20,220 --> 00:28:22,580
It's all one circle.

823
00:28:22,580 --> 00:28:25,780
Yeah it's three just really really tight.

824
00:28:25,780 --> 00:28:29,380
Yeah you barely do it a little sliver maybe here and there.

825
00:28:29,380 --> 00:28:31,460
You know what I mean sugar baby's not bad.

826
00:28:31,460 --> 00:28:32,620
It's a good title.

827
00:28:32,620 --> 00:28:36,660
Hey you know someone's gotta do it.

828
00:28:36,660 --> 00:28:41,460
And not to mention you know my wife needs help.

829
00:28:41,460 --> 00:28:44,940
She needs help around the house with shit and I do things.

830
00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:47,100
I'm not just a sugar baby.

831
00:28:47,100 --> 00:28:52,460
I also fucking put in work you know.

832
00:28:52,460 --> 00:28:53,460
Man.

833
00:28:53,460 --> 00:29:01,460
Mary's making you kiss the fucking landscaping guys.

834
00:29:01,460 --> 00:29:05,300
That's her thing.

835
00:29:05,300 --> 00:29:06,460
Go out there Larry.

836
00:29:06,460 --> 00:29:07,460
Ah man.

837
00:29:07,460 --> 00:29:09,460
And your American flag shorts and kissing in Mexico.

838
00:29:09,460 --> 00:29:11,460
Don't talk about her like that.

839
00:29:11,460 --> 00:29:13,460
It's not her thing.

840
00:29:13,460 --> 00:29:14,460
It's not her sick.

841
00:29:14,460 --> 00:29:17,460
I know it's not my lawyer's thing.

842
00:29:17,460 --> 00:29:18,460
Her sick pervert.

843
00:29:18,460 --> 00:29:19,460
Who me?

844
00:29:19,460 --> 00:29:20,460
Yeah you.

845
00:29:20,460 --> 00:29:21,460
No I'm not a sick pervert.

846
00:29:21,460 --> 00:29:24,060
My wife's not a sick pervert but yeah you are.

847
00:29:24,060 --> 00:29:25,060
Yes I am.

848
00:29:25,060 --> 00:29:27,260
I mean I'll admit it aren't you too.

849
00:29:27,260 --> 00:29:30,340
If you want to kiss the landscaping guy you can.

850
00:29:30,340 --> 00:29:31,820
I don't mind.

851
00:29:31,820 --> 00:29:33,820
I'm not fucking going study with him.

852
00:29:33,820 --> 00:29:38,660
He has to get a step ladder.

853
00:29:38,660 --> 00:29:44,780
He's a short fella you know what I mean.

854
00:29:44,780 --> 00:29:48,580
But oh you know what do you ever see a rodeo?

855
00:29:48,580 --> 00:29:50,460
No I've seen on TV but not live.

856
00:29:50,460 --> 00:29:51,460
You see a rodeo?

857
00:29:51,460 --> 00:29:53,900
Yeah man I'd go to a fucking rodeo.

858
00:29:53,900 --> 00:29:56,900
It's United States vs Mexico.

859
00:29:56,900 --> 00:29:57,900
Where at?

860
00:29:57,900 --> 00:29:58,900
Um Chicago?

861
00:29:58,900 --> 00:30:02,980
No the now center in Hoffman.

862
00:30:02,980 --> 00:30:03,980
We should go.

863
00:30:03,980 --> 00:30:07,220
Do you know what they do to them fuckers?

864
00:30:07,220 --> 00:30:08,900
They tie their nuts up and shit.

865
00:30:08,900 --> 00:30:11,740
They yank at them and that's why they buck.

866
00:30:11,740 --> 00:30:14,820
But they don't kill them like at a bullfight right?

867
00:30:14,820 --> 00:30:15,820
No this is American soil.

868
00:30:15,820 --> 00:30:18,660
This isn't a third world country.

869
00:30:18,660 --> 00:30:19,860
I go to a rodeo.

870
00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:22,540
I seen a bullfight in Mexico.

871
00:30:22,540 --> 00:30:27,780
My dad fucking told me he saw a bullfight in Mexico City and he said man.

872
00:30:27,780 --> 00:30:28,780
It's crazy.

873
00:30:28,780 --> 00:30:29,780
It was terrible.

874
00:30:29,780 --> 00:30:31,260
No they serve it afterwards.

875
00:30:31,260 --> 00:30:32,260
It's terrible.

876
00:30:32,260 --> 00:30:33,260
He said it was horrible.

877
00:30:33,260 --> 00:30:34,260
It's not terrible at all.

878
00:30:34,260 --> 00:30:35,260
He said it was bad.

879
00:30:35,260 --> 00:30:38,660
Dude I seen a motherfucker get beat up by a bull.

880
00:30:38,660 --> 00:30:39,660
Well he deserved it.

881
00:30:39,660 --> 00:30:40,660
It's a fucking Darwinism.

882
00:30:40,660 --> 00:30:41,660
It's just dumb.

883
00:30:41,660 --> 00:30:42,660
It's just dumb.

884
00:30:42,660 --> 00:30:46,340
It didn't even in there was a fucking wild animal.

885
00:30:46,340 --> 00:30:47,340
Man vs beast.

886
00:30:47,340 --> 00:30:50,420
It's like you and your first girlfriend.

887
00:30:50,420 --> 00:30:54,700
Man my girlfriends are all hot.

888
00:30:54,700 --> 00:30:56,700
That's getting buddy.

889
00:30:56,700 --> 00:30:59,700
Even as my wife all my girlfriends are fucking smokers.

890
00:30:59,700 --> 00:31:01,900
You can't even put your fingers around the wrist.

891
00:31:01,900 --> 00:31:03,420
Suck a dick.

892
00:31:03,420 --> 00:31:05,740
Girlfriends are fucking cute.

893
00:31:05,740 --> 00:31:08,300
Don't tempt me Larry.

894
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:12,460
Any of my ex girlfriends out there that ever hear this, if they ever do hear this, you

895
00:31:12,460 --> 00:31:15,220
all were fucking hot.

896
00:31:15,220 --> 00:31:20,940
You all had nice pussies and I liked all of you and I still liked you.

897
00:31:20,940 --> 00:31:22,740
Oh wait a minute you're a married man Larry.

898
00:31:22,740 --> 00:31:27,020
I know but I still be cordial to them and fucking I would still be nice.

899
00:31:27,020 --> 00:31:28,020
Everyone would be nice to say hi.

900
00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:30,020
Oh you're gonna be cordial all of a sudden.

901
00:31:30,020 --> 00:31:32,180
Yeah and I would do whatever you know.

902
00:31:32,180 --> 00:31:33,180
Literally cordial.

903
00:31:33,180 --> 00:31:38,660
Look how about this I would egg normal.

904
00:31:38,660 --> 00:31:44,220
You wouldn't even know how to slip into someone's DMs if you had Crisco on your ass.

905
00:31:44,220 --> 00:31:48,940
But that's alright though hey let me hit that thing there.

906
00:31:48,940 --> 00:31:49,940
So yeah you know.

907
00:31:49,940 --> 00:31:53,340
I know a lot of things but I know a lot about a little things.

908
00:31:53,340 --> 00:31:55,340
Mary even likes my old girlfriends.

909
00:31:55,340 --> 00:31:56,340
Oh that's good.

910
00:31:56,340 --> 00:31:58,140
I mean it's not like they're around anymore.

911
00:31:58,140 --> 00:31:59,740
The ones that she did meet.

912
00:31:59,740 --> 00:32:01,260
They're still all alive fuck.

913
00:32:01,260 --> 00:32:02,260
I don't know if they're all alive.

914
00:32:02,260 --> 00:32:03,260
I don't know.

915
00:32:03,260 --> 00:32:04,260
I don't know.

916
00:32:04,260 --> 00:32:05,260
I don't know.

917
00:32:05,260 --> 00:32:06,260
Thank you track.

918
00:32:06,260 --> 00:32:07,900
You should find out.

919
00:32:07,900 --> 00:32:11,220
I don't look you know I would have to be looking them up and shit.

920
00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:16,220
You can barely see with your glasses on so looking at Facebook is a joke.

921
00:32:16,220 --> 00:32:22,460
I mean you're all hopped up on peanut M&M's and shit.

922
00:32:22,460 --> 00:32:24,580
Peanut M&M's and reefer.

923
00:32:24,580 --> 00:32:27,340
I think that's what Mary's going to get.

924
00:32:27,340 --> 00:32:28,340
What's that?

925
00:32:28,340 --> 00:32:29,340
M&M's.

926
00:32:29,340 --> 00:32:31,620
They're so expensive they're fucking Walgreens aren't they?

927
00:32:31,620 --> 00:32:35,940
Here catchler.

928
00:32:35,940 --> 00:32:38,620
It's like twice as much as you said right.

929
00:32:38,620 --> 00:32:39,620
But you guys have a sweet tooth.

930
00:32:39,620 --> 00:32:40,620
Yeah it's twice as much.

931
00:32:40,620 --> 00:32:41,620
Right?

932
00:32:41,620 --> 00:32:42,620
Yeah.

933
00:32:42,620 --> 00:32:49,180
If you get M&M's at Woodmans it's half the money that it is at Walgreens.

934
00:32:49,180 --> 00:32:50,820
Well soon you can ride your scooter.

935
00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:51,820
Oh boy.

936
00:32:51,820 --> 00:32:52,820
Yeah.

937
00:32:52,820 --> 00:32:53,820
Scooter lottery.

938
00:32:53,820 --> 00:32:54,820
I've been doing wheelies right now.

939
00:32:54,820 --> 00:32:56,820
Fucking out on the prowl dude.

940
00:32:56,820 --> 00:32:57,820
I'd be out there.

941
00:32:57,820 --> 00:32:58,820
Oh yeah.

942
00:32:58,820 --> 00:32:59,820
Fucking going up and down.

943
00:32:59,820 --> 00:33:00,820
Jean Short's pocket hanging out.

944
00:33:00,820 --> 00:33:05,820
Whoever can grab these pockets can get a ride.

945
00:33:05,820 --> 00:33:06,820
Yeah.

946
00:33:06,820 --> 00:33:07,820
Flag football.

947
00:33:07,820 --> 00:33:08,820
Flag football.

948
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:10,820
That's what it's called.

949
00:33:10,820 --> 00:33:13,820
I was going to say that but I don't know.

950
00:33:13,820 --> 00:33:14,820
Dude that's great.

951
00:33:14,820 --> 00:33:16,820
That's what it's called on your scooter.

952
00:33:16,820 --> 00:33:20,820
If somebody can grab your pockets on your Jean Short.

953
00:33:20,820 --> 00:33:21,820
Huh?

954
00:33:21,820 --> 00:33:22,820
Does it?

955
00:33:22,820 --> 00:33:23,820
What?

956
00:33:23,820 --> 00:33:24,820
You can say fag.

957
00:33:24,820 --> 00:33:25,820
You're stepping out of my joke again.

958
00:33:25,820 --> 00:33:26,820
Fag football.

959
00:33:26,820 --> 00:33:27,820
Your Jean Short's are cut short.

960
00:33:27,820 --> 00:33:28,820
I get it.

961
00:33:28,820 --> 00:33:29,820
Pockets are hanging out.

962
00:33:29,820 --> 00:33:30,820
You know what I mean?

963
00:33:30,820 --> 00:33:31,820
You don't even fucking explain it.

964
00:33:31,820 --> 00:33:32,820
You didn't even laugh at it.

965
00:33:32,820 --> 00:33:33,820
Yeah I did.

966
00:33:33,820 --> 00:33:34,820
I said.

967
00:33:34,820 --> 00:33:35,820
I said.

968
00:33:35,820 --> 00:33:38,820
Dude will you listen?

969
00:33:38,820 --> 00:33:39,820
Fuck man.

970
00:33:39,820 --> 00:33:40,820
You fucking.

971
00:33:40,820 --> 00:33:41,820
Jeez.

972
00:33:41,820 --> 00:33:42,820
God.

973
00:33:42,820 --> 00:33:43,820
Jeez.

974
00:33:43,820 --> 00:33:44,820
Your fucking head is made out of wood.

975
00:33:44,820 --> 00:33:45,820
Here listen.

976
00:33:45,820 --> 00:33:46,820
Here's what I said.

977
00:33:46,820 --> 00:33:50,820
I was going to say fag football except I didn't think it was good to say fag.

978
00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:52,820
Well you don't have to keep on saying it.

979
00:33:52,820 --> 00:33:53,820
That's a problem.

980
00:33:53,820 --> 00:33:58,820
I mean I think it's bad but I'm going to say it nine times.

981
00:33:58,820 --> 00:34:00,820
Does that really diminish?

982
00:34:00,820 --> 00:34:02,820
So I didn't say it the first time.

983
00:34:02,820 --> 00:34:04,820
Yeah but you said it the nine other times.

984
00:34:04,820 --> 00:34:08,820
It doesn't diminish the fact that you didn't know what you were saying.

985
00:34:08,820 --> 00:34:12,820
My god we're going to have to get the lawyer down here to say if this is okay.

986
00:34:12,820 --> 00:34:14,820
I'm going to train whistles because of Larry tonight.

987
00:34:14,820 --> 00:34:15,820
There's not.

988
00:34:15,820 --> 00:34:16,820
I think we can leave that.

989
00:34:16,820 --> 00:34:17,820
We can probably keep that in.

990
00:34:17,820 --> 00:34:20,820
I mean fuck we're a small fucking shop.

991
00:34:20,820 --> 00:34:21,820
We're a small community.

992
00:34:21,820 --> 00:34:23,820
No we're a small shop.

993
00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:24,820
You know what I mean?

994
00:34:24,820 --> 00:34:25,820
We're just starting our product.

995
00:34:25,820 --> 00:34:28,820
We're trying to get it out to people.

996
00:34:28,820 --> 00:34:30,820
If you're one of them they can't really say anything.

997
00:34:30,820 --> 00:34:31,820
One of who?

998
00:34:31,820 --> 00:34:32,820
You know.

999
00:34:32,820 --> 00:34:33,820
You know I don't.

1000
00:34:33,820 --> 00:34:34,820
I'm asking you.

1001
00:34:34,820 --> 00:34:38,820
Well one of us is gay not me.

1002
00:34:38,820 --> 00:34:42,820
So they will give you a part of the gay community.

1003
00:34:42,820 --> 00:34:45,820
I mean see they have a child do you?

1004
00:34:45,820 --> 00:34:46,820
No.

1005
00:34:46,820 --> 00:34:47,820
So.

1006
00:34:47,820 --> 00:34:50,820
I got children your age.

1007
00:34:50,820 --> 00:34:51,820
Where?

1008
00:34:51,820 --> 00:34:53,820
They're all over the place.

1009
00:34:53,820 --> 00:34:55,820
In a sock somewhere.

1010
00:34:55,820 --> 00:35:01,820
I've been holding onto this thing since the 60's.

1011
00:35:01,820 --> 00:35:03,820
And whenever you were born.

1012
00:35:03,820 --> 00:35:05,820
You ever just jerk off into a sock?

1013
00:35:05,820 --> 00:35:10,820
I used to know a guy who would take a wet sock, put it in the microwave, heat it up and then

1014
00:35:10,820 --> 00:35:11,820
jerk off into it.

1015
00:35:11,820 --> 00:35:12,820
No.

1016
00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:13,820
I'm being serious.

1017
00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:14,820
I know obviously.

1018
00:35:14,820 --> 00:35:15,820
So how often did you do this?

1019
00:35:15,820 --> 00:35:16,820
I didn't.

1020
00:35:16,820 --> 00:35:17,820
I never had.

1021
00:35:17,820 --> 00:35:19,820
I never really have.

1022
00:35:19,820 --> 00:35:20,820
Really?

1023
00:35:20,820 --> 00:35:23,820
You never really have like as a habit or you just did it once or twice?

1024
00:35:23,820 --> 00:35:26,820
No I never actually I never put my dick in a warm sock.

1025
00:35:26,820 --> 00:35:27,820
It sounds weird.

1026
00:35:27,820 --> 00:35:28,820
It sounds pretty sick.

1027
00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:29,820
It sounds weird.

1028
00:35:29,820 --> 00:35:31,820
I mean I've been with the wife of a microwave.

1029
00:35:31,820 --> 00:35:32,820
I'm going to be in a microwave.

1030
00:35:32,820 --> 00:35:33,820
What if it's too hot?

1031
00:35:33,820 --> 00:35:35,820
You know like tonight you burn your mouth.

1032
00:35:35,820 --> 00:35:36,820
Oh my god.

1033
00:35:36,820 --> 00:35:37,820
There's a sock in the microwave.

1034
00:35:37,820 --> 00:35:38,820
You burn your fucking balls.

1035
00:35:38,820 --> 00:35:41,820
The convection oven.

1036
00:35:41,820 --> 00:35:43,820
The sock starts on fire.

1037
00:35:43,820 --> 00:35:45,820
Convection oven though.

1038
00:35:45,820 --> 00:35:47,820
I burned the house down.

1039
00:35:47,820 --> 00:35:51,820
You know like in a microwave you can feel it and it doesn't feel hot.

1040
00:35:51,820 --> 00:35:53,820
Then inside it's fucking weird.

1041
00:35:53,820 --> 00:35:56,820
Listen I burned the house down because I was heating a sock up.

1042
00:35:56,820 --> 00:36:00,820
I was going to whack my meat.

1043
00:36:00,820 --> 00:36:01,820
Ah man.

1044
00:36:01,820 --> 00:36:02,820
You ever watch porn?

1045
00:36:02,820 --> 00:36:04,820
Yeah back in the day.

1046
00:36:04,820 --> 00:36:08,820
Back when it was VCR and DVDs and shit.

1047
00:36:08,820 --> 00:36:12,820
I haven't seen a fucking porn on shit since you know.

1048
00:36:12,820 --> 00:36:15,820
It's not even porn anymore now it's just clips of chicks.

1049
00:36:15,820 --> 00:36:16,820
Yeah?

1050
00:36:16,820 --> 00:36:17,820
Yeah seriously.

1051
00:36:17,820 --> 00:36:21,820
Like literally clips, 30 second clips of women.

1052
00:36:21,820 --> 00:36:23,820
I can show you on Reddit.

1053
00:36:23,820 --> 00:36:25,820
It's my favorite porn shit.

1054
00:36:25,820 --> 00:36:28,820
Dude thousands and thousands every day.

1055
00:36:28,820 --> 00:36:36,820
Thousands and thousands of women just doing the greatest things in the world to themselves.

1056
00:36:36,820 --> 00:36:37,820
What was the one man?

1057
00:36:37,820 --> 00:36:39,820
I don't know that's kind of vague.

1058
00:36:39,820 --> 00:36:42,820
There was one fucking very popular porn.

1059
00:36:42,820 --> 00:36:43,820
Chet Roulette?

1060
00:36:43,820 --> 00:36:44,820
Pornhub?

1061
00:36:44,820 --> 00:36:46,820
No no before that.

1062
00:36:46,820 --> 00:36:47,820
XXNX?

1063
00:36:47,820 --> 00:36:48,820
Before Pornhub.

1064
00:36:48,820 --> 00:36:50,820
I don't know.

1065
00:36:50,820 --> 00:36:52,820
It was a...

1066
00:36:52,820 --> 00:36:53,820
Ah man.

1067
00:36:53,820 --> 00:36:55,820
Yeah give me more Larry.

1068
00:36:55,820 --> 00:36:56,820
Some color or something.

1069
00:36:56,820 --> 00:36:57,820
Red, blue.

1070
00:36:57,820 --> 00:36:58,820
Red tube?

1071
00:36:58,820 --> 00:36:59,820
Red tube.

1072
00:36:59,820 --> 00:37:00,820
It's still around.

1073
00:37:00,820 --> 00:37:04,820
Okay that was the last time I seen porn was when that came out.

1074
00:37:04,820 --> 00:37:05,820
How long ago was that?

1075
00:37:05,820 --> 00:37:07,820
I don't know I'm asking you.

1076
00:37:07,820 --> 00:37:08,820
You're the fucking...

1077
00:37:08,820 --> 00:37:10,820
You're the one who just told me what you just...

1078
00:37:10,820 --> 00:37:12,820
Yeah but you're the one that's fucking you know...

1079
00:37:12,820 --> 00:37:13,820
I'm not the porn connoisseur.

1080
00:37:13,820 --> 00:37:14,820
I don't know.

1081
00:37:14,820 --> 00:37:16,820
Okay listen I like my kind of porn.

1082
00:37:16,820 --> 00:37:18,820
Cause your brother was the porn connoisseur.

1083
00:37:18,820 --> 00:37:19,820
I thought you were maybe...

1084
00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:21,820
Man you want to hear a great story?

1085
00:37:21,820 --> 00:37:23,820
So we went and saw...

1086
00:37:23,820 --> 00:37:25,820
I always want to hear a great story.

1087
00:37:25,820 --> 00:37:32,820
So we went and saw fucking Jay Bird, me and someone else in Minnesota.

1088
00:37:32,820 --> 00:37:33,820
Yeah.

1089
00:37:33,820 --> 00:37:34,820
Okay.

1090
00:37:34,820 --> 00:37:40,820
Tri-Cities and he was the manager of a porn store and literally a stone throws...

1091
00:37:40,820 --> 00:37:47,820
I mean literally next door connected to this place was a strip club and the ladies came

1092
00:37:47,820 --> 00:37:50,820
in and just tried all these clothes on.

1093
00:37:50,820 --> 00:37:52,820
Jay told me this story.

1094
00:37:52,820 --> 00:37:55,820
Well they did this every night or they didn't do this but...

1095
00:37:55,820 --> 00:38:00,820
And literally they were like hey come back here and watch us and they fucking changed

1096
00:38:00,820 --> 00:38:02,820
all these outfits.

1097
00:38:02,820 --> 00:38:03,820
And what does this one look like?

1098
00:38:03,820 --> 00:38:04,820
And does this one look good?

1099
00:38:04,820 --> 00:38:09,820
They got a little frisky with each other and then we had a good night.

1100
00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:12,820
But shout out to Jay Bird.

1101
00:38:12,820 --> 00:38:13,820
It's pretty vague.

1102
00:38:13,820 --> 00:38:14,820
R.I.P.

1103
00:38:14,820 --> 00:38:16,820
But anyways yeah he told me that story.

1104
00:38:16,820 --> 00:38:21,820
He also told me when he worked at the fucking porn shop and he was the fucking jizmapper

1105
00:38:21,820 --> 00:38:22,820
at the Jerk Off Booth.

1106
00:38:22,820 --> 00:38:25,820
Oh we shouldn't have named this character.

1107
00:38:25,820 --> 00:38:26,820
I'm not.

1108
00:38:26,820 --> 00:38:27,820
Is that...

1109
00:38:27,820 --> 00:38:28,820
It was a job.

1110
00:38:28,820 --> 00:38:30,820
All jobs need to be done dude.

1111
00:38:30,820 --> 00:38:36,820
Do you want to go in a Jerk Off Booth where the fucking jizmapper is on strike?

1112
00:38:36,820 --> 00:38:37,820
I wouldn't.

1113
00:38:37,820 --> 00:38:38,820
How would you know?

1114
00:38:38,820 --> 00:38:39,820
Well I mean...

1115
00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:40,820
Listen guys are horny.

1116
00:38:40,820 --> 00:38:41,820
They go in there.

1117
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:42,820
You would want the fucking...

1118
00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:45,820
I mean listen you've been...

1119
00:38:45,820 --> 00:38:46,820
Clean occasionally.

1120
00:38:46,820 --> 00:38:47,820
If you...

1121
00:38:47,820 --> 00:38:50,820
Okay you're a married man.

1122
00:38:50,820 --> 00:38:51,820
Okay.

1123
00:38:51,820 --> 00:38:53,820
I don't know what guys are like because...

1124
00:38:53,820 --> 00:38:54,820
You know you understand horny anymore.

1125
00:38:54,820 --> 00:38:55,820
It's so long.

1126
00:38:55,820 --> 00:38:56,820
You're an old man.

1127
00:38:56,820 --> 00:38:57,820
You're almost 60.

1128
00:38:57,820 --> 00:38:59,660
You're like God man.

1129
00:38:59,660 --> 00:39:01,820
You don't understand horny anymore.

1130
00:39:01,820 --> 00:39:07,820
So if you get to that point where you have to go to a Jerk Off Booth imagine a horny you

1131
00:39:07,820 --> 00:39:08,820
are.

1132
00:39:08,820 --> 00:39:09,820
And you gotta pull over.

1133
00:39:09,820 --> 00:39:12,820
Yeah dude seriously man.

1134
00:39:12,820 --> 00:39:14,820
They make Jerk Off Booth for truckers.

1135
00:39:14,820 --> 00:39:17,580
It's a horny the trucker you know what I mean.

1136
00:39:17,580 --> 00:39:18,580
Dudes rock.

1137
00:39:18,580 --> 00:39:20,060
They really do man.

1138
00:39:20,060 --> 00:39:28,020
I mean they'll pull their dick out and square booth and just whack it to a video.

1139
00:39:28,020 --> 00:39:30,220
And so everybody knows what you're doing in there.

1140
00:39:30,220 --> 00:39:31,220
Well yeah.

1141
00:39:31,220 --> 00:39:32,220
It's not like you're...

1142
00:39:32,220 --> 00:39:36,020
It's not like you go to fucking Waffle House and you just pull your dick out and jerk

1143
00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:37,020
off on the table.

1144
00:39:37,020 --> 00:39:38,020
Okay one time...

1145
00:39:38,020 --> 00:39:39,020
Hey listen.

1146
00:39:39,020 --> 00:39:40,020
Oh boy here we go.

1147
00:39:40,020 --> 00:39:41,020
You like this.

1148
00:39:41,020 --> 00:39:42,020
You like this.

1149
00:39:42,020 --> 00:39:43,020
Oh I will.

1150
00:39:43,020 --> 00:39:47,820
We were on the tour for you know we were on the tour we were touring around the east coast

1151
00:39:47,820 --> 00:39:52,820
United States fucking upper midwest northern east coast.

1152
00:39:52,820 --> 00:39:55,420
It's not upper midwest technically east coast.

1153
00:39:55,420 --> 00:39:57,660
Yeah but you know from here to there.

1154
00:39:57,660 --> 00:39:58,660
New England.

1155
00:39:58,660 --> 00:40:02,220
Yeah and you know Cleveland and fucking Ohio.

1156
00:40:02,220 --> 00:40:04,020
The mistake on the lake.

1157
00:40:04,020 --> 00:40:06,420
Turbos used to say that.

1158
00:40:06,420 --> 00:40:07,420
What did he say?

1159
00:40:07,420 --> 00:40:09,420
The mistake on the lake.

1160
00:40:09,420 --> 00:40:10,420
Yeah.

1161
00:40:10,420 --> 00:40:11,420
And so I'm in this restaurant.

1162
00:40:11,420 --> 00:40:13,620
You can walk across Lake Erie.

1163
00:40:13,620 --> 00:40:14,620
Oh.

1164
00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:21,060
And we only were eating in these restaurants either it said food or eat.

1165
00:40:21,060 --> 00:40:23,220
And it kind of tells you what you want to do there.

1166
00:40:23,220 --> 00:40:28,620
And it didn't have any but if it had a name or brand name or title we didn't eat there.

1167
00:40:28,620 --> 00:40:31,020
It had to be the most stripped down generic place.

1168
00:40:31,020 --> 00:40:32,020
We were in Cleveland?

1169
00:40:32,020 --> 00:40:34,220
No we were on the whole tour we did this.

1170
00:40:34,220 --> 00:40:40,900
I don't remember what city we were in or town I should say because we were in between places.

1171
00:40:40,900 --> 00:40:42,500
Breakfast was in the morning.

1172
00:40:42,500 --> 00:40:45,140
We stopped somewhere along the highway for breakfast.

1173
00:40:45,140 --> 00:40:48,820
We saw a place that just said breakfast or eat or something.

1174
00:40:48,820 --> 00:40:52,860
Well you can kind of tell a restaurant by the outside of it's exterior.

1175
00:40:52,860 --> 00:40:56,820
And so we went in there and they had shit on a shingle on the menu.

1176
00:40:56,820 --> 00:40:57,820
Oh man.

1177
00:40:57,820 --> 00:40:58,820
Chip beef?

1178
00:40:58,820 --> 00:41:02,980
Well anyways this is for getting your side tracking me.

1179
00:41:02,980 --> 00:41:03,980
No.

1180
00:41:03,980 --> 00:41:05,540
So anyways I get in the fucking um.

1181
00:41:05,540 --> 00:41:06,540
Shit on a shingle.

1182
00:41:06,540 --> 00:41:11,380
I'm in the bathroom to take a little horse bath so I'm completely fucking naked and I'm

1183
00:41:11,380 --> 00:41:12,380
washing up.

1184
00:41:12,380 --> 00:41:13,380
Pissed on you?

1185
00:41:13,380 --> 00:41:14,380
In a fucking uh.

1186
00:41:14,380 --> 00:41:15,380
Horse bath.

1187
00:41:15,380 --> 00:41:20,780
You know in a little in a bathroom in a fucking in this little restaurant and I'm fucking

1188
00:41:20,780 --> 00:41:23,780
totally naked and I'm washing my balls in the fucking sink.

1189
00:41:23,780 --> 00:41:25,220
Why would you get totally naked?

1190
00:41:25,220 --> 00:41:27,260
Because man we were on the road and I was fucking.

1191
00:41:27,260 --> 00:41:28,860
You should pull your pants down.

1192
00:41:28,860 --> 00:41:32,100
Was washing off the whore from the fucking night before and shit dude.

1193
00:41:32,100 --> 00:41:33,100
The whore from like before.

1194
00:41:33,100 --> 00:41:34,100
That's your memoir.

1195
00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:40,900
You're traveling you know and uh some guy some man in his little boy command like you

1196
00:41:40,900 --> 00:41:42,700
and your son maybe.

1197
00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:45,540
Oh hey what the fuck don't make a person.

1198
00:41:45,540 --> 00:41:50,460
Three, four years ago the kid was you know like a four year old or something five year

1199
00:41:50,460 --> 00:41:58,900
old and uh I'm fucking completely naked now like ah fuck man in the fucking man just turns

1200
00:41:58,900 --> 00:42:00,540
around with the kid and walks out.

1201
00:42:00,540 --> 00:42:01,540
Yeah you think.

1202
00:42:01,540 --> 00:42:06,780
Shit so I finish washing up and I get dressed and I walk out and I'm laughing and I'm like

1203
00:42:06,780 --> 00:42:11,660
man that those people right there that man and that child with that family.

1204
00:42:11,660 --> 00:42:13,740
Yeah they saw my dick and balls in my ass.

1205
00:42:13,740 --> 00:42:15,820
Yeah they just fucking came in the bathroom.

1206
00:42:15,820 --> 00:42:19,260
No they didn't come in the you were taking a shower in a public bathroom.

1207
00:42:19,260 --> 00:42:20,260
Well here's the thing though.

1208
00:42:20,260 --> 00:42:22,620
No here's not the thing it's a public place.

1209
00:42:22,620 --> 00:42:23,620
I needed to get through.

1210
00:42:23,620 --> 00:42:25,140
You're not a homeless person.

1211
00:42:25,140 --> 00:42:26,140
I was though.

1212
00:42:26,140 --> 00:42:27,140
At that point in time you were.

1213
00:42:27,140 --> 00:42:28,140
You were on tour yeah.

1214
00:42:28,140 --> 00:42:30,620
You were living in a van down by the river.

1215
00:42:30,620 --> 00:42:33,420
Kissing dudes for quarters.

1216
00:42:33,420 --> 00:42:34,420
Ah man.

1217
00:42:34,420 --> 00:42:35,420
More than a quarter so.

1218
00:42:35,420 --> 00:42:41,620
Yeah maybe a couple fucking nutty bars.

1219
00:42:41,620 --> 00:42:43,620
My wife is going to be bringing a nutty bar.

1220
00:42:43,620 --> 00:42:44,620
Yeah but she is.

1221
00:42:44,620 --> 00:42:45,620
Yeah.

1222
00:42:45,620 --> 00:42:48,220
And those are like hey are you going to hit that or what?

1223
00:42:48,220 --> 00:42:49,780
No I'm putting it away because.

1224
00:42:49,780 --> 00:42:50,780
I'm not worth it.

1225
00:42:50,780 --> 00:42:51,780
Sorry.

1226
00:42:51,780 --> 00:42:52,780
Yeah I'm right.

1227
00:42:52,780 --> 00:42:54,780
I'm going to light one of these roaches man.

1228
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:57,260
Do you ever play the guitar?

1229
00:42:57,260 --> 00:42:58,260
Guitar?

1230
00:42:58,260 --> 00:42:59,780
Guitar yeah.

1231
00:42:59,780 --> 00:43:01,780
My ex-girlfriend had one.

1232
00:43:01,780 --> 00:43:03,980
It was like a fun instrument.

1233
00:43:03,980 --> 00:43:06,420
And it was fun and it was cool.

1234
00:43:06,420 --> 00:43:07,780
It was a Roland.

1235
00:43:07,780 --> 00:43:08,780
Yeah.

1236
00:43:08,780 --> 00:43:09,780
The color was it.

1237
00:43:09,780 --> 00:43:10,780
It was red.

1238
00:43:10,780 --> 00:43:12,780
Oh like fucking Van Halen.

1239
00:43:12,780 --> 00:43:15,180
Van Halen had a red one?

1240
00:43:15,180 --> 00:43:16,180
Yeah.

1241
00:43:16,180 --> 00:43:17,780
Van Halen had a guitar?

1242
00:43:17,780 --> 00:43:18,780
Yeah.

1243
00:43:18,780 --> 00:43:19,780
You're kidding me.

1244
00:43:19,780 --> 00:43:20,780
I don't think so.

1245
00:43:20,780 --> 00:43:21,780
I don't even ever read that.

1246
00:43:21,780 --> 00:43:23,780
I don't want to shit you you're my favorite turd.

1247
00:43:23,780 --> 00:43:24,780
Ah.

1248
00:43:24,780 --> 00:43:25,780
Ah.

1249
00:43:25,780 --> 00:43:26,780
Ah.

1250
00:43:26,780 --> 00:43:27,780
Ah.

1251
00:43:27,780 --> 00:43:30,780
The first time I heard that joke.

1252
00:43:30,780 --> 00:43:31,780
Ah fuck off.

1253
00:43:31,780 --> 00:43:33,180
Keep going Larry I'm going to look it up right now.

1254
00:43:33,180 --> 00:43:34,180
So yes.

1255
00:43:34,180 --> 00:43:42,380
Yeah and it was cool when you worked the thing on the neck it was like a metal strip so you

1256
00:43:42,380 --> 00:43:47,540
could finesse it and get like wiggles like you're bending the strings and shit.

1257
00:43:47,540 --> 00:43:53,300
And then it had another little lever up on the neck little portion that was just a bar

1258
00:43:53,300 --> 00:43:55,780
like tremolo or sustain or some shit.

1259
00:43:55,780 --> 00:43:57,780
Like a fucking what do you call it?

1260
00:43:57,780 --> 00:43:59,580
A whammy bar?

1261
00:43:59,580 --> 00:44:02,780
Not really because it was more like.

1262
00:44:02,780 --> 00:44:05,780
Yeah look at that motherfucker was red motherfucker.

1263
00:44:05,780 --> 00:44:06,780
Look at it.

1264
00:44:06,780 --> 00:44:09,780
Yeah that was the one I had man.

1265
00:44:09,780 --> 00:44:11,780
Did you put in your ass ever?

1266
00:44:11,780 --> 00:44:12,780
No.

1267
00:44:12,780 --> 00:44:13,780
Well she played it.

1268
00:44:13,780 --> 00:44:14,780
Yeah.

1269
00:44:14,780 --> 00:44:17,780
No wait mine wasn't like that.

1270
00:44:17,780 --> 00:44:19,780
This isn't mine man.

1271
00:44:19,780 --> 00:44:20,780
Look up a Roland.

1272
00:44:20,780 --> 00:44:22,780
Why do you look up a Roland asshole?

1273
00:44:22,780 --> 00:44:23,780
I don't know how to do all that.

1274
00:44:23,780 --> 00:44:26,780
I just showed you a fucking old red guitar and you said no.

1275
00:44:26,780 --> 00:44:27,780
That's not the one.

1276
00:44:27,780 --> 00:44:28,780
But it was red.

1277
00:44:28,780 --> 00:44:32,780
It was red but it wasn't that tight.

1278
00:44:32,780 --> 00:44:34,780
Holy shit man.

1279
00:44:34,780 --> 00:44:36,780
Jesus literally are you going to take another phone call?

1280
00:44:36,780 --> 00:44:37,780
Yeah what's up man.

1281
00:44:37,780 --> 00:44:39,780
Come on man what are you doing?

1282
00:44:39,780 --> 00:44:40,780
Nothing man.

1283
00:44:40,780 --> 00:44:41,780
What's that?

1284
00:44:41,780 --> 00:44:42,780
It's Mark.

1285
00:44:42,780 --> 00:44:43,780
Inforth?

1286
00:44:43,780 --> 00:44:44,780
Yeah.

1287
00:44:44,780 --> 00:44:45,780
How you doing inforth?

1288
00:44:45,780 --> 00:44:46,780
Me and Needle.

1289
00:44:46,780 --> 00:44:48,780
Oh yeah who's there Mike?

1290
00:44:48,780 --> 00:44:51,780
Yeah me and Needle are doing a Larry and Needle's episode.

1291
00:44:51,780 --> 00:44:52,780
What are you up to?

1292
00:44:52,780 --> 00:44:53,780
Yeah.

1293
00:44:53,780 --> 00:44:57,780
No no what are you up to?

1294
00:44:57,780 --> 00:44:59,780
You should come over man.

1295
00:44:59,780 --> 00:45:00,780
What's he up to?

1296
00:45:00,780 --> 00:45:01,780
Ask him what he's up to.

1297
00:45:01,780 --> 00:45:02,780
Yeah what are you up to?

1298
00:45:02,780 --> 00:45:05,780
I'm about to grab a day.

1299
00:45:05,780 --> 00:45:07,780
Grab a day huh?

1300
00:45:07,780 --> 00:45:08,780
Is it pure fennel?

1301
00:45:08,780 --> 00:45:09,780
Pure fennel?

1302
00:45:09,780 --> 00:45:15,780
Yeah yeah it's only the purest for me.

1303
00:45:15,780 --> 00:45:18,780
We got that big foot.

1304
00:45:18,780 --> 00:45:20,780
Ask him what he's doing.

1305
00:45:20,780 --> 00:45:21,780
Tell him to come over.

1306
00:45:21,780 --> 00:45:22,780
Yeah.

1307
00:45:22,780 --> 00:45:23,780
We got food.

1308
00:45:23,780 --> 00:45:24,780
I'm too busy guys.

1309
00:45:24,780 --> 00:45:25,780
Oh you're too busy what?

1310
00:45:25,780 --> 00:45:26,780
I think I can make it tonight.

1311
00:45:26,780 --> 00:45:29,780
Yeah flick it in your little wiener head.

1312
00:45:29,780 --> 00:45:30,780
Ah man.

1313
00:45:30,780 --> 00:45:34,780
Yeah no I could probably come by man.

1314
00:45:34,780 --> 00:45:35,780
Okay we'll get food.

1315
00:45:35,780 --> 00:45:37,780
You gonna be there awhile?

1316
00:45:37,780 --> 00:45:40,780
Yeah we'll get food and we have weed.

1317
00:45:40,780 --> 00:45:43,780
Alright alright yeah I'll be there.

1318
00:45:43,780 --> 00:45:45,780
Alright cool I love you.

1319
00:45:45,780 --> 00:45:47,780
I'll ask you a little bit.

1320
00:45:47,780 --> 00:45:48,780
Yeah.

1321
00:45:48,780 --> 00:45:51,780
Oh man come on over and forth.

1322
00:45:51,780 --> 00:45:52,780
Yeah.

1323
00:45:52,780 --> 00:45:54,780
I know I'm feeling young.

1324
00:45:54,780 --> 00:45:56,780
Okay see you later man.

1325
00:45:56,780 --> 00:45:57,780
Alright later.

1326
00:45:57,780 --> 00:45:58,780
Okay cool.

1327
00:45:58,780 --> 00:46:05,980
Alright and now this is the end of the Larry and Needle show because our greatest guest

1328
00:46:05,980 --> 00:46:08,780
is gonna come over and we need to prepare.

1329
00:46:08,780 --> 00:46:15,780
Yeah we're gonna have a guest coming up but that doesn't mean we gotta end right now.

1330
00:46:15,780 --> 00:46:16,780
Oh we need an hour?

1331
00:46:16,780 --> 00:46:17,780
I had the wrong one.

1332
00:46:17,780 --> 00:46:18,780
An hour?

1333
00:46:18,780 --> 00:46:20,780
Oh yeah I thought we hit an hour.

1334
00:46:20,780 --> 00:46:22,780
We're close to an hour.

1335
00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:23,780
Oh okay.

1336
00:46:23,780 --> 00:46:25,780
We got a few more minutes.

1337
00:46:25,780 --> 00:46:27,780
You ever kiss your cousin?

1338
00:46:27,780 --> 00:46:28,780
My cousin?

1339
00:46:28,780 --> 00:46:29,780
Yeah.

1340
00:46:29,780 --> 00:46:30,780
Well it's funny you say that.

1341
00:46:30,780 --> 00:46:31,780
Yes or no.

1342
00:46:31,780 --> 00:46:36,780
No because it was but it was third cousin.

1343
00:46:36,780 --> 00:46:38,780
A cousin of a cousin.

1344
00:46:38,780 --> 00:46:40,780
Yeah so third cousin yeah third cousin.

1345
00:46:40,780 --> 00:46:43,780
That wasn't connected to me by blood.

1346
00:46:43,780 --> 00:46:47,780
But they knew that you were their cousin.

1347
00:46:47,780 --> 00:46:48,780
Oh yeah.

1348
00:46:48,780 --> 00:46:49,780
Yeah so I mean yeah.

1349
00:46:49,780 --> 00:46:51,780
I did that yeah a lot of times.

1350
00:46:51,780 --> 00:46:56,780
You were like those fucking the genealogy hunter.

1351
00:46:56,780 --> 00:47:01,780
We had certain family parties I couldn't wait to go to when I was a kid.

1352
00:47:01,780 --> 00:47:06,780
Oh man this guy keep him away from your cousin and your aunt.

1353
00:47:06,780 --> 00:47:16,780
Oh man one time I fucking speaking of aunt I thought it was my it was our drummer's mom

1354
00:47:16,780 --> 00:47:20,780
and my drummer old drummer my old band.

1355
00:47:20,780 --> 00:47:21,780
Yeah.

1356
00:47:21,780 --> 00:47:27,780
I used to party with this kid's aunt you know and fucking she liked me and shit.

1357
00:47:27,780 --> 00:47:29,780
Used to party with this kid's aunt.

1358
00:47:29,780 --> 00:47:30,780
Yeah.

1359
00:47:30,780 --> 00:47:31,780
How old were you and how old was she?

1360
00:47:31,780 --> 00:47:35,780
I don't know I was like I was about I know how old I was I was about like third.

1361
00:47:35,780 --> 00:47:38,780
Dude Larry how long have you been alive?

1362
00:47:38,780 --> 00:47:40,780
I'm 98 years.

1363
00:47:40,780 --> 00:47:41,780
Yeah.

1364
00:47:41,780 --> 00:47:42,780
67 years.

1365
00:47:42,780 --> 00:47:43,780
I was I was like 30 years old.

1366
00:47:43,780 --> 00:47:44,780
Okay.

1367
00:47:44,780 --> 00:47:46,780
And how old so she had to be in her 60s.

1368
00:47:46,780 --> 00:47:47,780
No no no no.

1369
00:47:47,780 --> 00:47:48,780
Oh she was like 15.

1370
00:47:48,780 --> 00:47:51,780
Once I started throwing numbers out you're like no no no.

1371
00:47:51,780 --> 00:47:52,780
She was like 49.

1372
00:47:52,780 --> 00:47:54,780
No no not even.

1373
00:47:54,780 --> 00:47:55,780
How old?

1374
00:47:55,780 --> 00:47:59,780
This kid this kid Matt was much younger than me in fact he was your age.

1375
00:47:59,780 --> 00:48:00,780
Yeah.

1376
00:48:00,780 --> 00:48:01,780
My age 46.

1377
00:48:01,780 --> 00:48:04,780
Was one of your schoolmates I'm not gonna say his last name because I don't want to do

1378
00:48:04,780 --> 00:48:05,780
a beatbox.

1379
00:48:05,780 --> 00:48:07,780
I mean I don't want to edit you anyways.

1380
00:48:07,780 --> 00:48:08,780
We're getting lazy here.

1381
00:48:08,780 --> 00:48:16,100
Yeah anyways fucking I thought his I thought it was his aunt she came to one of our shows

1382
00:48:16,100 --> 00:48:21,780
and I used to you know and so I slide across the table and you're lucky with his funkle.

1383
00:48:21,780 --> 00:48:27,780
Listen no listen and I slide across the booth and I stick my tongue in her mouth.

1384
00:48:27,780 --> 00:48:28,780
Ew.

1385
00:48:28,780 --> 00:48:30,780
You know and start making out of there.

1386
00:48:30,780 --> 00:48:31,780
Then you got her piece.

1387
00:48:31,780 --> 00:48:37,140
She looked at me all shocked and then I look and I realize that you're why is she acting

1388
00:48:37,140 --> 00:48:43,060
all weird and then later I say to my buddy I go hey man I saw your aunt here and she's

1389
00:48:43,060 --> 00:48:48,780
acting like weird tonight and he goes my aunt's not here that's my mom and I'm like oh my god.

1390
00:48:48,780 --> 00:48:49,780
Yeah.

1391
00:48:49,780 --> 00:48:51,780
I just stuck my tongue in my friend's mouth.

1392
00:48:51,780 --> 00:48:53,780
She has a tracheotomy.

1393
00:48:53,780 --> 00:49:00,300
I made out with her throat hole.

1394
00:49:00,300 --> 00:49:02,740
You wanted to rip a heater while you made out with her.

1395
00:49:02,740 --> 00:49:04,300
And so yeah that was that.

1396
00:49:04,300 --> 00:49:07,500
Dude okay so if you put your dick in a chik's tracheotomy hole.

1397
00:49:07,500 --> 00:49:09,500
Is it really still are you fucking kidding me.

1398
00:49:09,500 --> 00:49:11,500
It's while you kiss her.

1399
00:49:11,500 --> 00:49:13,660
It is fucking throat hole.

1400
00:49:13,660 --> 00:49:14,660
That's great.

1401
00:49:14,660 --> 00:49:15,660
You think.

1402
00:49:15,660 --> 00:49:18,660
You think there's a genre of porn out there like that.

1403
00:49:18,660 --> 00:49:20,660
I'm sure there is.

1404
00:49:20,660 --> 00:49:23,300
Okay that's it for the.

1405
00:49:23,300 --> 00:49:25,220
No you don't have to make it come to this great show.

1406
00:49:25,220 --> 00:49:26,220
You're so fucking dumb.

1407
00:49:26,220 --> 00:49:27,580
No it's not dumb.

1408
00:49:27,580 --> 00:49:30,580
I fucking my brain works in different ways.

1409
00:49:30,580 --> 00:49:34,540
Yeah one way it works.

1410
00:49:34,540 --> 00:49:35,540
Guys patronizing me now.

1411
00:49:35,540 --> 00:49:40,540
Listen if you're an American stick with needles.

1412
00:49:40,540 --> 00:49:41,540
May.

1413
00:49:41,540 --> 00:49:48,020
Could you throw me some of them.

1414
00:49:48,020 --> 00:49:51,020
This is staying indefinitely.

1415
00:49:51,020 --> 00:49:57,540
Oh man my wife is pretending she can't hear me now.

1416
00:49:57,540 --> 00:49:58,540
Why.

1417
00:49:58,540 --> 00:50:00,340
Okay she says what.

1418
00:50:00,340 --> 00:50:03,540
I mean she doesn't because she's got all the MMS towards ourselves.

1419
00:50:03,540 --> 00:50:04,540
Yeah I know.

1420
00:50:04,540 --> 00:50:05,540
She doesn't want to share.

1421
00:50:05,540 --> 00:50:06,540
I know.

1422
00:50:06,540 --> 00:50:09,220
I mean Jesus Christ you're lucky you're still alive after driving with her.

1423
00:50:09,220 --> 00:50:10,220
I know.

1424
00:50:10,220 --> 00:50:12,700
My fucking lawyer is the worst driver ever.

1425
00:50:12,700 --> 00:50:16,820
Yeah my lord is his lawyer the worst driver ever.

1426
00:50:16,820 --> 00:50:17,820
Huh.

1427
00:50:17,820 --> 00:50:18,820
My lord is.

1428
00:50:18,820 --> 00:50:19,820
My lord is his lawyer.

1429
00:50:19,820 --> 00:50:20,820
Your lord and savior.

1430
00:50:20,820 --> 00:50:21,820
Jesus.

1431
00:50:21,820 --> 00:50:25,340
Yeah my lord and savior Jesus.

1432
00:50:25,340 --> 00:50:26,820
Jesus Christ.

1433
00:50:26,820 --> 00:50:27,820
He's a great driver.

1434
00:50:27,820 --> 00:50:28,820
How do you know?

1435
00:50:28,820 --> 00:50:29,820
Is he drinking so much?

1436
00:50:29,820 --> 00:50:31,820
Because man he knows what he's doing.

1437
00:50:31,820 --> 00:50:34,180
I mean that'd be great if he had Jesus Uber.

1438
00:50:34,180 --> 00:50:36,820
This is the end of the Larry and Needles episode.

1439
00:50:36,820 --> 00:50:41,340
No it's not the end right now because I want to look kind of driver Jesus.

1440
00:50:41,340 --> 00:50:42,340
Thank you for tuning in.

1441
00:50:42,340 --> 00:50:43,340
We appreciate it.

1442
00:50:43,340 --> 00:50:45,340
This is egregious.

1443
00:50:45,340 --> 00:50:47,340
What kind of driver is Jesus?

1444
00:50:47,340 --> 00:50:48,340
We'll see you next time.

1445
00:50:48,340 --> 00:50:49,340
No not at all.

1446
00:50:49,340 --> 00:50:50,340
Thank you very much.

1447
00:50:50,340 --> 00:50:54,260
I'll hit the space bar when this motherfucker wants to.

1448
00:50:54,260 --> 00:50:56,260
What kind of driver is Jesus Larry?

1449
00:50:56,260 --> 00:50:57,260
Come on.

1450
00:50:57,260 --> 00:50:58,260
You're a man.

1451
00:50:58,260 --> 00:50:59,260
Only driver.

1452
00:50:59,260 --> 00:51:00,260
We're in her face.

1453
00:51:00,260 --> 00:51:01,260
Holy driver.

1454
00:51:01,260 --> 00:51:02,260
Larry and Needles show.

1455
00:51:02,260 --> 00:51:03,260
Larry and Needles show.

1456
00:51:03,260 --> 00:51:07,260
Let me in need a show