time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show
okay here we are everybody welcome to the Larry and Needles show
it might not be that long of a show because I only have one and a half joints
hi is it kite motherfucker?
I'm loon, I almost said I'm Larry, how needles?
he's loony, we're both loony but
he's needles and I'm Larry
so today I went to this record store with my buddy Dave and it was kind of cool
this place is called Hoarders, I forgot the town but it's
you know out here in the Chicago land area and
I come home and I see Needles and my wife they're going to go
she talked him into going to the bank with and so they're like
oh good you're home so I jump in the car with them and
she roped us into about a three hour it was like Gilligan's
Islands, three hour tour. She's a horrible driver, just the worst
driver ever, I mean poor, I mean she is not a good
example for international women's month, let me tell you, she literally stopped
perpendicular to a road and there was a car
literally four feet away looking right in her side window
and she was putting her seatbelt on and she got mad because we told her to move.
Right. She said I was only going to be here
for a second, well why don't you just pull up to the stop sign?
But I mean they're all women's bad drivers, I mean there was that lady that drove that
hot rod but I mean only had to go straight. Right.
She didn't have to turn at all. I mean there's not that many women in the Nascar.
I could probably do that race. I mean if there was a Danica Patrick lady
she's a smoke show. Yeah she was a smoke show with them without
her car. Yeah well I mean obviously, I mean she definitely
I don't know there's why aren't there more women in the Nascar.
Well you know I don't, you'd figure there would be more too anyway
because they're whiter, I mean I know it's only fractions compared to what
we saw in the entire race but. It's not like they're Gandhian midgets or
jockeys. Yeah jockeys. But you know you think that that might be a
slight advantage of the weight thing. Well definitely I mean but
think about it how many women have been in the Nascar
there's gotta be a reason for that. When I was a kid in 1974 my dad brought us
to you know what the fuck McCormick
place in Shirley Moldowney. She was the big
hot rod chick of the day. Okay hit that. And she was a
fucking, we waited in line and got her autograph and she was
also a smoke show back then. Really what did she race?
I don't know, I don't either dragsters or, I mean I was a little kid I didn't know.
Oh you went to the auto show. Yeah she was there. Oh well Jesus Christ why don't you give us a pretty
huge building with one lady in there. No no
there was a lot of people, different people yeah. Okay and
Lassie I got her paw print on a fucking 8x10. You meant the dog Lassie?
I highly doubt it was Lassie 9. I know. I know.
I thought it was Lassie though. That's a good gig, think about that.
Just owning a dog or carrying around a dog and be licensed
to say that she's Lassie. It's like into Lassie. You're gonna fucking cash in man.
But I mean what a hassle to travel around with that fucking dog. What happens if the thing dies
in the air? Well we gotta get a new one. Yeah Lassie 10, well how are you gonna get
Lassie 10 all the way over? You can't show up to the gig with no Lassie.
You know what people that train dogs mad respect to them. Fuck man.
What a brutal thing to do. Even crazier is the ones that
train cats. Well that's really fucking
anybody that trains animals. Yeah but cats they don't want to listen you know.
Well I mean to some extent you can always make any animal
listen. All you gotta do is keep it fucking. All you need is the right
voltage. Oh yeah. Well like cattle prod on a cat
would probably make it implode. I gotta fucking
I gotta get it clean out. That's like given what do you call it
that geese elka seltzer. What's that?
Geese and elka seltzer they implode right when you do that. Yeah you're
not supposed to feed seagulls and geese elka seltzer.
Dude seagulls are fucking brutal. Bastards. Land of like
their rats. They'll kill your ass if they're not careful. When I lived in Cali
they would fucking dive on people. You could smoke that. They would
dive on people just eating. Yeah I like shit right out of their
hands. I like holding the potato chips up and they come and grab it out of
your hands. Ah man you're just asking for fucking Larry Ninefingers.
I mean Jesus Christ. Why poke a fucking bear technically.
Here you go let me stick my hands up in the air to this animal
I mean granted it has no teeth. It is an animal. Yeah but still.
A wild fucking animal. It'll rip your fucking hand off. You shouldn't fuck around anyway.
You know big of an asshole you would feel if you had to have a fucking hook because you put a potato
chip up in the air. You'd be telling me you'd be lying to motherfuckers saying it was
an alligator. Yeah I lost it shooting dope or I lost it in a dice game or something
like that. In a dice game.
It would be like the dude that was that from Happy Gilmore with the guy with the
wooden hand you ever see that. Yes I did.
That was fucking great. People with disabilities
can have fun with them right. Even though that guy technically
did not have a hand you know what I mean. It's like playing
what do you call it. He lost it to an alligator right. Yeah getting a ball
out of the water but you can't go full retard either. That's one thing. Full handicapped
or full retard you're just asking for trouble. Yeah like
what do you call it. What's it do. Ben Stiller you ever see Tropic Thunder. No
it's actually very funny. Nine hours. They try to go after it
every once in a while because Robert Downey Jr. did blackface. Oh really.
It's very funny. It's a really good movie. And this is another Larry's
movie corner. Yeah another movie I didn't see.
Yeah you don't watch that many movies. I haven't seen that many movies. I mean I've seen
all the classics like I've seen the Batman. You know Batman the movie
the original one with Batman and Robin from 1966 or whatever.
Well time to Jesus that's a fucking. That's a must see.
Your movie picks are in the story. Yeah I've seen Blazing Saddles. Well I mean. I've seen
Young Frankenstein. Yeah you can't make movies like those anymore though that's what's funny.
I mean even that place where we went to fucking eat today when Mary
hoodwinked us and they're coming on that fucking goddamn three hour tour
like he said. The bank and we went to like about. At first
it was just going to be the bank and it was about 17 places. Yeah man it
feels like you're driving driving in the car with me. And it's dangerous
as fuck. It's dangerous as I mean we're talking dangerous. Yeah. Even I have a seat belt
on. I mean and she's just all fucking willy nilly got
her phone in her hand. She got her purse on her lap. The only
thing that's different now a little safer than before is she doesn't smoke
cigarettes anymore because then she'd be smoking a cigarette at the same time. Dude she's ripping heaters the whole
time man. Yeah. Just fuck. She's like Andrew Dice Clay just ripping
heater after heater. Just going at it. The fucking
that thing is almost down to butt. She's got a lighter in her hand ready to get another heater to go.
But I you know. Well I'm glad she fucked. The place that we went to
go eat. I mean I don't want to say I mean it doesn't
really matter. It's a big chain fucking sandwich place. Yeah. Put it that way.
And just that the feeling that you get when you
walk in there of all these younger kids that are
I don't know. I mean I hate to say woke. It gives that woke
vibe but not even woke. Not bad. Just gives you like that vibe
of like at least they're working shall I say. Yeah.
You know what I mean. There was a lot of red hair and nose piercings and blue
hair. Yeah. But I mean at least it wasn't like. What's that. Antifa.
There was a couple of cute ones. How the hell can you tell who's antifa.
I mean pictures of Antifa. But that doesn't. We did look at that.
Yeah. There's not one single one I'd thought. Episode Larry. Episode one Larry fucked up.
But I mean you know what listen.
Do you think that those I mean obviously those they're like
Seattle fours. Most of those people.
You know it's not they're not exactly influencers.
No. Influencers. I don't know I sounded weird when I said it.
But at the same time I think they're easily mailable or you could
conform them the high you know what I mean like. Sure.
Say you get a solid Seattle five that's in Antifa and she recruits
up. She's like Manson. Right. You know what I mean like she dangles that
she could start a fucking call. Yeah. And next thing you know you're
fucking trying to block off the streets from the cops.
You know you're fucking Seattle five. You fucking you wish.
Somebody else fucking Seattle five. You're getting cocked.
Because they tried to open that thing. What was that the
the no zone. What I can't remember the name of it. No chop.
Fuck man. It would you know no cob zone.
It was their own little fucking world. Yeah. And then shit went bad. People were overdosing
in there. Somebody got murdered I think happened. It's like it's like
my house back you know ten years ago. But he means it was like
your house. No the cops could come here though. Oh yeah. So it wasn't like your house
at all. I guess so. Oh man.
That's nothing to do with anything that has to
go with it. But that's these people want
like what were they talking about about give a five million dollars
per to African-Americans in San Francisco
and then a dollar for land ownership. Oh yeah.
Buy a house for a dollar. Yeah something to that extent. I don't think
where and this I think it's just a candidate or just somebody
that was just talking and then he said his constituents got all upset
about this plan that he had and it's like
if you looked at what's going on there like I don't like I'm not into politics
I don't like I just want this country. I would like to be
five million getting. I would like to get five million.
I mean obviously through lineage and stuff but I don't know
if they even do that much. But then how are they going to throw a fucking dart at the board
and see where it just hits a name. Like alright here you go.
Something like that. I mean just like they started these programs where they give
certain low income people a certain amount of money a month.
You know it comes from taxpayer dollars but is that going to make
I hate to say this I really do. I'm not a Trump fan
I'm not a Trump supporter or anything. I'm saying just make America great again.
It really is when you think about it. I mean the only thing that it does is
it creates the only you could say that before Trump.
Sure. And people were like yeah it's a great idea. The only reason people
don't like it is because he fucking said it. He coined it. Yeah.
He put it on a fucking hat and people wore it and now people lose their
shit when they see this slogan. It's like what kind of
shit is that. It's like just talking communist bullshit is that. Here's a fucked up analogy.
That's like saying Alan Fried the New York DJ who coined
the phrase rock and roll. Well he can't
it's not cool to like rock and roll because
he never played rock and roll. He's just a fucking old
man who worked at a job in the corporate world. But the truth
is who cares who came up with what. You're going to freeze.
Yeah man if it's a good fucking thing it's a good thing.
Rock and roll. Yeah make America great. Fuck it man. It's a good slogan right.
Yeah. And why would you want to make it shitty. What kind of why would you want to do
that. What kind of person wants to not live in a good country.
Exactly. And I know I said this a million times I've been to a lot of places
America is the greatest fucking place. It really is. There's nowhere better.
It really is the best. I've seen poverty. I've seen slums. I've seen
places that were undesirable to the normal person.
On my own accord and by willingly doing it for myself. Right. You know but at the same time
this country is just in shambles.
But nonetheless it's still the greatest. Well no I know but at the same time and people
aren't saying anything or doing like we're just taking it right in the fucking
ass. Yeah. And we're getting used to it. Like gas. Okay well
it's this much money now we'll just you know. Right. Little Sally and Jimmy need
to go to fucking Wisconsin for the weekend or need to go to Minnesota or something.
That's fine but it's going to cost. Little Johnny's got to raise his prices
and long cutting this fucking summer.
But what do you what do what the
fucking we really do. What can we do Larry. Good fucking
revolt baby. Yeah but what's revolt going to do. I don't know what the fuck that does. Revolts not going to do
shit. I mean we can't even boycott things anymore. Yeah.
You know what are you going to do. You're going to boycott fucking gas. I remember as a kid. Then you're going to go to electric.
Yeah you know. Well no man because that's just as fucking
bad. It's all bad. That's a thing. How is it bad. What's it bad. It's bad. Gas
is bad for the environment. Electric gas is cool man. Electric
is just as bad as gas because they have to burn all kinds
of fucking petroleum products and coal and all that
shit. For what. To get the electricity. Well no I got the Hoover Dam. You can do
water. It's not all coming from that though. That's a small percentage
nuclear nuclear nuclear is good. It's not bad. I like it.
I mean hey you want to clean energy source. It works in Chernobyl.
I mean I was just reading an article too
about all these wild dogs that are from Chernobyl
and they've become mutants. They're accustomed to. But their
genes have yeah they've become accustomed to the radiation and their genes
have manipulated where they can live there. Oh fuck man.
Crazy Russian Chernobyl dog dude. Wow that is fucking. Let me tell you
that's how I'm gonna murder all my worst enemies.
If I was gonna get a dog that would be the fucking one I want. You wouldn't be able to
live. You'd have to have a Geiger counter. It wouldn't even be able to save you.
You'd grow a third nut. Oh man.
This dog is like an arms just all fucked up from that and the dog.
You're not a dog guy anyway. They didn't say anything about cats though.
They carry the radiation? Well yeah they're just used to it. They live in a zone.
Their genes have become accustomed to it and it's kind of manipulative.
Yeah but that doesn't mean they're radioactive. Yeah. What do you mean they're radioactive?
They're in a radioactive zone. Okay. It's just like with fish
with you know what I mean. Just like fish you eat at the fucking.
Well they eat plastic you consume the plastic you know what I mean. Whatever gets in their system
I wonder what a nuclear dog tastes like. Man.
You probably don't have to cook it as long. There was a company that was making vodka.
If at all. There was a company that was making vodka. I swear to God
I'm not wrong. Nuclear distilled. Chernobyl distilled. Well no they were using
Chernobyl rocks to distill it. No no no no they were using
something. Man I'm totally butchering. Now I sound like Kiki.
He's just out breaking.
He's talking to me. Maybe a show that's not here.
He's in a wife beater talking to a steward.
You heard this about Bitcoin.
Doing his Alex Jones impression. But no I can't remember.
They were doing the distilling some sort of vodka
and it was made I think with fruit
or something from the
if it's not let me see.
Fruit from the Chernobyl tree.
Something to that extent. I mean I think
they were using let me see I'm going to look it up really quick.
It's a really crazy story. Like I think they
called it Tommik Vodka. Nice.
Which I mean come on how fucking fitting is that. Yeah I fucking might have.
I buy it. They support Ukraine. Oh there you go man.
Chernobyl Spirit Company 75
profit. You might have supported Ukraine enough already. I don't think this is it.
But yeah from
land in the areas if Ukraine abandoned after the Chernobyl accident.
I mean come on. Nice. This is I mean
and they actually I mean any fucking sounds like false. Any company that has to
I don't know about that. I mean they're telling you it's from there.
It was a false advertising. I don't know man. It's not like
Poland Spring doesn't come from Poland. That's kind of false advertising.
The joke Larry. I mean Jesus Christ
why don't you just step on that thing and drag it into the ground.
But I mean if you have to have us they have a scientific
fucking explanation for this what do you call it for this vodka
first page that's not good. Yeah I mean
well yeah I mean you're going to get a goiter
something like that something that's not going to be bad. I mean if you grew a second dick
that'd be awesome. It might cure something.
My new fucking increments of radiation
I mean that's what we do technically right.
When we do chemo and radiation. Oh god
I mean that's shit but I mean if you have to have
what do you call it a science on here about
I mean they even give you the name obligatory resettlement where land can officially be used for agriculture
but people still live but they're growing stuff there. Oh man.
I mean this fucking talk about a goddamn lawsuit.
Well if they tell you upfront I think they're safe. They're not liable
for you to die from. I don't think so. I mean you can't
sell radioactive vodka. I don't know
it's just like Hillbilly heroin in the gas stations.
Remember many things in white crosses when you used to be able to buy that
shit. Don't they still have it? No they're not like they used to be.
They'll fucking many things. Oh my god man whenever we found out about those things.
Dude you could buy a whole box the whole fucking thing with all the sleeves for like 25
bucks man. It was crazy. That shit was pure
fucking adrenaline. The Fetamine. Yeah
this is what they sold in the fucking stores.
But not anymore though. But now they got like Kratom and shit.
Kratom. Yeah I know a couple guys that swear by the Kratom
and I personally fucking I never did shit for me.
I never tried it. It's nothing man. Why I don't know why
but nowadays that's probably you can probably get more high off of that than what's on the
streets right now. You get that fucking Fanny. Yeah. Or you get the fucking
what's the other one though. Trank. The Trank.
Fuckin' Iron will fall off. Remember Crocodile or Crocodile or whatever.
Well the Trank is a form kind of a Crocodile. Well it's all cyclical because
you know what I mean what's gonna happen. I think we were talking about that before that Canada
has allowed two companies to start making pure
drugs again. And they're gonna interject them back into
the community. Really like heroin you're saying? Yeah
heroin, MDMA, cocaine I think. Well let's go.
Let's go where? You can buy dope from a vending machine
in Canada. Come on. I swear to God.
Man I know a lot of Canadians. I know a lot of Canadians.
Yeah but not the right ones.
We wanna smuggle one of those vending machines across and we wanna put it in the studio.
We're gonna put it right in the corner of the podcast. That's a great fucking idea man.
I mean why not? It's just guests can come in. Everybody would love it.
Yeah guests can come in. They gotta pay for shooting.
You want some shit whatever. I mean whatever
fuckin' tickles your fancy. I don't give a shit.
Yeah like back in the day and I'm sure still
in Europe like you know they sold cigarettes in the machine. They don't even do that
anymore. Yeah the cigarettes are worse than anything. You know what I mean? They are though.
That's true. As you see. As I rip a heater.
But they are fucking terrible. They're so addictive. That's a
fucking problem. I've been a... Well they had it that shit.
I've been indulged in a lot of things. Back in the old days you could smoke on and off
because they didn't have nicotine. They were going to fucking doctors. They didn't have nicotine.
People are ripping heaters and shit. Not filters. Come on. Sure.
They were fucking filters. People called them pussies.
They filled those with your women and they put the brown end on there to hide the lipstick.
Oh yeah. But that's just funny how everything comes
you know it's just like boozing for women. Everything for
happy national women's month by the way. I should have came up with a good story.
Wow. Oh we can't... How about that one chick. I love women. That's one story.
Well you love one woman. Yeah. I love all women.
I do. I mean I do. I love all women. I mean just don't sniff their hair when you're standing
in the line. No I'm not a sniffer. You're not a sniffer. No.
That's your foot guy. Yeah. The more of a liquor.
You're the more of a liquor. I was thinking a whole big foot in your mouth.
That's what you like. The toenail
polish is all chipped and shit. It's not even done right. I'm helping them
chip it off. Yeah. She's been walking around town barefoot all day.
Yeah.
But hey man to each of us that own. Who the fuck might have
tell anybody. You know what I mean. Everybody. Because the internet just sparked everybody
to be completely out of control. The conversion under the sun. Yeah. I mean to think about it
you can get anything. And there's a lot. Child porn. Wow.
Anything you want. Did you see Gary Glitter fucking just went back to prison.
For what? Well I mean obviously. What do you think a
porn pedophile shit. Well. What was he doing.
This fanook fucking
is on like a dozen interview and he's trying to get trying to figure out how to
get on the dark web because he needed the onion router or some
onion app or something like that. I don't want to think about the dark web. You know what I mean. Sure you know.
He's like I would admit it. I mean I heard it's a pretty
scandalous little area but I mean I don't mind a big enough computer nerd and
not that nefarious to go there. Plus you can get everything you need right on the streets of
Chicago land. Well yeah. I mean I can't
hire a hit man though even though multiple people. No we don't need to fucking hire hit man.
I do it myself. Allegedly. Allegedly.
Allegedly. I mean if you're
going to do something you want to be hands on look at the I mean time is
told you know what I mean. Think about it. The best is fucking
Galooly. Oh man. Galooly. The fucking
real boxhead shall we say. Yeah. It's for
Tanya Harding. I mean that fucking guy. We love Tanya. Well
we just were looking at her Instagram the other day. Here let me get that. Thank you very much.
What's up bitch. Oh man. What do you call it. How about a. She's still a
fox. I do her. Yeah. They made that gay. Gas
porno. Well I mean. They're not pros man.
Well it doesn't mean I mean come on you don't know how the fucking camera angle works. I know.
I mean that poor lady. She looks like she wasn't having fun at all.
I mean you think a guy with Galooly would fucking know how to get down. Right. Just with that
fucking name alone. Yeah. You think man. That sounds like a powerful name but
So I was uh I was telling needles today about totally
changing the fucking subject. I was telling needles about
Jim Gordon. He's a drummer. Oh yeah the greatest drummer ever.
Yeah. He played with Eric Clapton amongst other people.
You know Ringo. Yeah. He said he played for a shit. He played in a ton of
fucking shit. Yeah. And he went crazy one day. They said
in the Beach Boys. Yeah. I mean he was a very accomplished.
And he was on all the TV shows in the 70s. Guy was a schizophrenic.
And he went nuts. And he fucking killed his mom one day and he chopped her in a
little piece. 1983. In 1983.
Then he went. I was just telling him about. But then what did he do after that?
Oh. Then after he kills his mother he's all covered in blood
and he goes to the Troubadour. You know in L.A.
just the bar that he hung out at all the time. Do you have to fact check this?
You could. I might be wrong on the bar but the rest of this shit is true. I'm pretty sure.
No I know that's true. Yeah. And um. Just a bar name I mean. And he's there
sitting there all bloody just ordering drinks and getting drunk until the cops
came and took him away and he went without a fight. We tried to murder his wife
right. He tried to murder his wife first and she got away from him.
But he was doing a lot of drugs and drinking. Yeah. He was just schizophrenic.
Yeah. But I was just telling needles about
this guy today. And he looks on the internet
and the fucking guy died. And he died today. Yeah. He died today.
He died today. 77 years old. He died in prison today. Which is
crazy. Yeah. And he was a part of the incredible Bongo Band.
It was famous for Bongo Band. That all the hip hoppers used
the New York hip hoppers used in the early 70's. Really?
Yeah. Man they just ripped shit off back then. Yeah. And it was a patchy
with Jim Gordon playing drums on it. That was the
thing they wanted. R.I.P. Jim Gordon. R.I.P. man. And his mom.
And his mom. He caught up in little pieces somewhere. Yeah.
I mean do you put her in a casket? I don't know what they did. I mean it's easier
to cremate probably if she's cute. Yeah. You know what I mean? And he was
and I guess the story was that he did chop her up in little
fucking pieces. But how do you do that though? I should have looked in more into it.
I should have looked more into that because I want to know how he did his deed.
Because that's a pretty compelling story. Yeah. I'm surprised there isn't a movie about it.
Well. They'll probably make one eventually now that he's dead. Maybe.
Now that they can buy the right. You know what I mean? They could buy the rights to him because maybe they couldn't because
he couldn't profit off it from it. You know. And he really literally was the go to
drummer. Every fucking buddy wanted him. All the big things. He was a studio drummer too?
Yeah. Studio in line. That's crazy. Just wanted all the time.
He did like two or three
sessions with different bands a day. He was busy
all the time. Well it's his fucking job. You know what I mean? And the guy loved the music.
Imagine that. And the only reason he's not on the other records of that
time period that there's even other drummers on there is because the
motherfucker was busy recording another thing. A schizophrenic
playing the drums. I mean that is like the true essence of animal.
Yeah. You know what I mean? I wonder if there's a. I wonder if there's any correlation
with the animal. Well not even. I wonder if there's a correlation with the
certain type of drummer or something. That's the street guy I might have known about Jim
Gordon and the animal after. Keith Moon. Yeah.
Another wild man. Yeah. But I mean a lot of drummers were Ginger Baker.
Yeah. Ginger Baker that fucking documentary was amazing.
He was like. You aware of Mr. Baker? Yeah. He was hitting that dude with his cane.
Yeah. That was fucking great. He was like motherfucker I'm here to make a documentary. It was his buddy. Yeah.
He's like I'm here to make a documentary about you. Being the fuck out of me. You're a real motherfucker man.
Yeah. But especially
back then the debauchery that those guys were into. Like there's nothing like that
now. Right. And that's what they say part of the problem with Jim Gordon was
was that he had so much money and he could do
you know get any pussy he wanted. Get high on any drug he wanted.
Then he was bored out of his mind. He would like pay people
money to do crazy fucking shit. Well yeah that's what happens. Look at the fucking
episodes and shit. You know. And he just started going crazier and crazier. When these people get money
they do more and more nefarious shit. You get bored of the regular.
I guess. What do you mean you guess. Well I mean. I mean look at all these people
high profile people that are into these rituals
and shit like you say. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I mean
well maybe you just you know you just hear about them because they're high profile
people I'm sure they're you know they're sick fucking all over doing weird shit.
Remember where they were branding the women.
And there was a lady that got. Oh yeah yeah yeah I don't know. She was an actor
and it was it was crazy like people it's like Weinstein people you
give people power and use that. And they're going to abuse
it because fuck man I wish I could remember this is going to be crazy
the guy the guy from Nickelodeon that had the
foot fetish. Oh no it's crazy like
if you watch these old Dan Schneider maybe
Dan Schneider I think that might be it. But if you watch these old videos
from like Nickelodeon they would put like whipped cream on girls feet
and another little kid would lick it off. Are you kidding me. No I'm not. He had a
pool shaped like a foot. Oh my god. That's like me having a pool shaped like a needle.
Hahaha.
I mean right on the fucking head you know what I mean.
This is what I'm into. You can see it from space.
You know what I'm into from space. Here's my giant foot.
If anyone has any whipped cream or any feet they need like
dog. Oh man you know what I mean. I don't understand how people like feet. I'm not a foot
guy. No me either. I can't understand that like
she's got to be real fucking hot. It's not even that.
I don't care how hot she is it's still fucking feet man.
You know. Yeah you're walking around on them. It's just that
I mean like we were talking about before the internet is open these
avenues where all these fucking perversions. Yeah or these and listen man
I'm a dirt bag. You know what I mean. There's no question. I'm not.
You're fucking low like bastard. For sure.
Thanks for notarizing that. But at the same time
I just you know what I mean like
what do you call it these people that put Cantalik Chuck Berry
Yeah yeah. With a camera in there. Yeah the ladies bathroom and shit.
Why do you want to watch a lady take a shit. Well he's a sick motherfucker.
Exactly because he kind of ran out of stuff to do. You know what I mean. Like that's what got his rocks off
and I don't understand that. But at the same time I'm not the person that should be like that's wrong
you know what I mean. I'm going to tell you. Well yeah everybody can do whatever they want.
You know. If you get caught you're going to get in trouble. Well that's the thing
too. You see these people that get caught for these crazy
things and then you're like how the fuck you know what I mean.
Jared Fogle. Yeah. It's like. Yeah. He knocked himself out
but fuck man like well talk about bringing fucking
fucking cookies to a fucking I don't even know the analogy for that
weirdo. Like yeah we're here you go into high school and watch these kids
damn fucking guys got a problem man. Is he still in jail. Yeah
he's going to be in jail for a while. How long did they give him like 20 years
no I think more than that. Really. Yeah because I think he admitted to having sex with the child.
Oh fuck man holy shit. I told you he wanted
the lady to send nudes of her kids. That is fucking
I thought that was the extent of it. I didn't know. Imagine having that
perversion. And I'm not saying I'm not saying
like what a burden man. Do you know what I mean. Look at
our famous people. And I'm not condoning this type of behavior. It seems like there's
awful lot of these sick fucking bastards. Well they're all over the news too.
It's like and when you look at it the majority
are in positions with kids. Yeah. Do you know what I mean.
Like they have access to children. Right. Like they just I was
reading an article today about this doctor that
he just got busted with all this child porn and he didn't I mean you know
I hate to do the whole thing where it's like oh this guy didn't look like a pedo
which you know he had this bracelet that he would put on when he was giving exams
to children. Oh wow. Then it would record it. Oh
whoa. Yeah and then it's like a camera thing. Yeah it was a camera. Holy
shit. Dude we are getting too smart for our own good. Holy fuck. Like we're creating
it's just like those air tags where you can put them on and it tracks people you know
with those Apple air tags. And you could fuck it stock people.
Yeah. Now they make like wall chargers with cameras in them.
It's like. Wow. It's very easy to be a pervert
right now. Wow. I mean. So where do I get one of these
Amazon Buds. 2399.
You buy a 4Pan. Yeah I get one of that motherfucker.
You want to buy the wireless one.
But I mean
they're crazy like the shit that like the lengths that these people will go to.
Oh yeah they're fucking. Not only do they gotta go through huge lengths to get
their fucking content and for their perversion but they also got
to hide that shit too man. Imagine having a family
and you're just fucking wrecking your meat to child porn all day. Wow man that's sick.
I know but these people. That's fucking gross shit. Like think about it how they
integrate themselves into their families. This Fogo guy had kids and a wife.
Shit. He had neighbors. He was. Dude. Well yeah of course.
Okay listen. It is a lot of work to be a
serial killer. I'm not one. I'm just saying you know what I mean. Like every serial killer has said that.
So how hard is the needles. Well. Actually I took a blue
chew. It's really hard right now. It's a Viagra.
But what do you call it. I mean imagine
that having like the gay thing had a family. Yeah. Do all this shit
and was a fucking serial killer. But he didn't have kids and shit though did he. Yeah
I think so. Yeah I think he had kids. Yeah I think he did not his. I think they were from a
movie. And you know what else is fucking weird though with Gacy. What's that. He got
arrested for sodomy. Of a boy. Yeah.
Yeah in Seattle or something. Yeah and they never checked his records right. And his
wife knew this and still married him and didn't think that was fucked up or
sometimes. Yeah but he was a smooth talker and women weren't exactly. And people did
fucking love the guy. Dude he was a smooth ass motherfucker. He met Nancy Carter.
Right. Yeah. Not Nancy Carter.
Rosalind Carter. Nancy Reagan. Nancy Reagan. Those are the names. I mean I don't know who he met.
But I have seen that picture of him with some political
picture. Yeah they have pictures of him. They have pictures of him all over the place but
just like anything you gotta get sloppy. Cause like you can't. It's just like an addiction.
Just like getting high every day. And then it just
then getting builder. Sure. Building up building up building up. At first you're cool
and you can get high and people don't know you're high and then eventually there's no fucking
way. But you don't care. Well that too. But there's also you get a tolerance for the amount of
violence you're doing. You know what I mean. The tolerance for. I remember though
when my dad I was even I was going to. Hey did you make sure
the fucking roundabout. Yeah. Okay. I was walking to my parents
house. You know it's about half a block away and my dad was
outside. And I just did one fucking bag of dope. You
know. And I wasn't really high. And from a block away. He
could tell. He's like hey. He else on the block. You're high. You know what
you know. And I'm like how in the fuck can you tell him I'm high. I can see you walking
like when they would show the cartoons. Tell about how you're walking. When they would
bend the sidewalk and the guys the jazz guys. Yeah.
Like the miles on the corner out. I tell you.
Oh fuck. And I was like shit man. My dad knew from a
fucking block away. Yeah. We were just talking about this because you could
tell. Yeah. Literally. If you know the fuck person.
If you've been around enough addicts. That too. And for
anything you could tell when someone's on coke. You could tell when someone's not dope.
You could tell when someone's drunk. Sure. I could tell a person that I know this person
when they say one word a letter I can tell if they're drunk. Yeah. You know what I mean.
Sure. Just from talking to this person for thousands of hours.
Like you compared to now compared to last time. This motherfucker was so drunk
and remarkably he didn't make that much of an ass to a lot of himself. I was fucking
shocked. I was like wow. I don't know why you're airing my dirty laundry right now Larry.
They're gonna hear it anyway. Well yeah because you keep on calling me out on it.
They wouldn't know if you didn't say nothing.
I mean and that last one was a real sleeper. You know what I mean.
It was fun. It was very fun. It's just that we're new
to this and we don't have we're just free form. Obviously not professionals.
Well yeah I mean look at us. I mean Jesus Christ I have a day job and you're a sugar baby.
What do you expect? I mean when you have to get a job finally are you gonna write that on your
why there's a lap? My resume. Why there's a lap some 15 years.
Sugar baby. I think that's hilarious. I don't know man.
Well I mean. God forbid if the fucking economy does better then we don't have to worry about
working our asses off till we die. We don't have to sugar it up so much.
Oh but get him back. We're just gonna free form this podcast and I don't know.
We're not gonna be we're not gonna pit you're not gonna sort of corner
ourselves into one topic. Because we don't know anything.
Well yeah that also I mean you have to have knowledge to be knowledgeable.
Exactly. I mean look at Kiki. He just spits whatever he wants out.
Sure. So you know we'll talk about shit maybe we'll do a little fucking research
and figure out what we want to do. Conspiracy theories. Like I said we can
do Kiki's conspiracy theory corner. Yeah. I don't know if we'll have to bleep that
or totally we could just use asterisks if we need to.
But I don't know we'll see how things go.
I'm just not fucking smart enough to figure out and get this off the ground.
Yeah I mean I got you know. Yeah we got my cousin
my brother's shorty.
My fucking six foot
I don't know why this matters. I mean Jesus sounds like you're writing a page for Tinder.
Okay. Well yeah look what we're gonna see how we can do.
I don't know how to fucking do any other shit man. We need to get someone that's younger that knows the fucking
computer. Yeah that's alright. That's it. I mean I'm not like I said
the fucking computer's out there. We'll have that shit figured out. Yeah the computer freaks
me out. You know what I mean it's just too much like even
my friends kids it's like even when you put blackers on shit
you're still getting porno stuff and you're still getting you like
it's crazy the way that people
talk to each other on the internet. Yeah my wife has been trying to
fucking erase some apps and shit off of her phone because the phone
is filled with you know her memories filled and it doesn't work
anymore. So we go to the Verizon store
that was one of the places she dragged us today. Yeah that was the fucking
the parental protection was turned on
on her phone. It took two Verizon workers
about a half hour but me and my wife have been trying
to do this for the last two fucking months you know and
so yeah it was the parental protection
allowing us to erase the apps. You can play a mean lick but you can't fucking figure out
how to turn off the parental. No I didn't even know
where it was in the phone. How the fuck would you
even turn it on? I don't know. Well obviously it just
turned it on but where do you even get to it's gotta be in the settings
totally. I don't even know how to use my phone
I watch porn on it I read the news
I play a couple stupid fucking games and that's it. I usually don't know where
my phone is. I use my phone at time like a Jack's Pizza in the oven
and to like you know
make phone calls. Yeah but that's rare text message
I usually don't like today all day long I didn't have my phone
for morning till night. Well it's crazy how Chris will just
talk to you, call you and talk to you for like 45 minutes. Yeah
you're in the fucking kitchen we're all hanging out and you just have my speakerphone
and you just ramble it out and you just leave it on and let him talk
and you're like oh yeah yeah yeah I mean I know you're paying attention but
I hate talking on the phone. I talked to Chris the other day he sent me
this breathing apparatus that's supposed to fucking rattle shit loose from your
lungs. That doesn't sound kosher. Oh I'm gonna see what it does
he's been using it he says it's good he likes it. Okay wait see
you gotta explain things Larry. Well you know. It just can't be like hey this thing rattles
your shit up and then what happens? No it's like this breathing apparatus. So you put it in your mouth
yeah and does it got like a pump does it make. I think it's like a ball
that rattles inside. You're supposed to like make this ball.
I think he's getting you into some gay shit Larry.
We'll see cause it's coming into the fucking mail tomorrow. Put this hose in your
ass and this ball game.
This will help your breathing. This does not seem at all. Just don't tell anybody.
It's definitely out of the air proof. I mean fuck it is. So you know
and he has trouble breathing you know we're all fucking
wheezing and coughing cause we're old. Fucking smoking. Ripping
heaters. Ripping heaters for fucking years. Yeah. So
he said it's helping him and he bought one for me and Mary
he actually bought three of them one for me and one for Mary and one for himself
except he lost one so he said when he finds the other one he'll send it but he
sent one and he said it should be here tomorrow. So what does it do though?
I guess you do breathing exercises hopefully it comes with some sort of direction. Sounds like the right stuff
remember that movie where the fucking astronauts they had to blow into that tube
and it has that wiffle ball in there with the holes in it. No. You have to maintain a certain
like long capacity. Well I had a thing like that when I was in the hospital once
for some shit and they want to make sure you don't get pneumonia so they
make you breathe and keep this thing at a certain level
and if you can't get it to a certain level then they know your fucking lungs aren't working.
Yeah if you have like bronchitis and shit or something like that
and I did and I fucking my lung I fucking
Yeah like you're in Boys Town just blowing dudes but you're just blowing through their dick
ohhhhhh
that fucking head gets all big like a water balloon. Yeah it's a
fucking when you shoot the water at the clowns and the blow up.
The balloon explodes. That head gets all big. You're the reverse Larry the reverse
blower. Yeah that's fucking funny Einstein
the jack of the
It makes me laugh that's all that matters. But
so yeah when my lungs shut down one time
I couldn't fucking drug abuse I fucking had to go through all this
shit and breathing this breathing
thing was one of them and I couldn't fucking breathe at all man.
Well because it's low oxygen level and all that shit
I mean the variables that are when they ask you what you've put into your
lungs and shit like that you're like because I mean even if you're fucking ripping
gackers it's going right into your lungs you know everything goes into your shit
so it's like all kinds of particulates
particulates that's what my brother would say like I'd sniff a line of coke
in front of him and he'd say like I can't believe you would sniff
particulates into your lungs he would put it in like in a way that would make me be like
holy fuck man. Well it makes you think about it on a more micro level
yeah that's what he tells you know that's the shit he would say to me.
Let's rip rails Larry. Let's rip particulates
yeah which one? You don't think of it like that.
The funny thing is is I do think of it like that because I was just doing it.
I was just doing a job the other day. I would never fucking do that.
I was doing a job the other day and we were cutting in holes
and for can lights and all
and insulation and then you could see it
in the air. Fine pieces. So it's like I think about that shit all the time.
I wish they could make some sort of thing to clean your lungs.
I'm sure that shit's played out when everybody talked about it. I know everybody said
something. I don't know. Like you go in and they fucking take your lungs
and they just like drown them you know like when you clean a bong.
Shake you up with some salt. I don't know about shaking
up but yeah. Like a fucking shaker.
Like a paint mixer. Like a paint mixer
you ever see one of those things in the hard list. It kind of violent.
Well you gotta clean your fucking lungs out. And I'm sure you'd have to be hooked up to some
sort of medical equipment because you can't just drown your lungs. No man.
I mean I'm not a doctor but I kind of think there's something wrong with it.
Well usually when your lungs are filled with fluid that's fucking pneumonia.
That ain't good. When that's happening shit's going wrong.
Yeah the human body is a weird thing right.
You use that some people like look at Keith Richards and shit. These guys
that are known partiers. They've written books about these people.
And then look at like Tom Petty and these fucking guys are.
Well these guys fucking print.
We're still big time partiers. They're still rock stars. They're just not as notorious
as Keith. They just do it all in pill bottles now. Exactly.
They had doctors who described the shit. Yeah. You know how it is.
Man I fucking abused OxyCottons before. It doesn't have to be a street drunk to fucking.
Well nowadays you gotta worry about this. Well nowadays yeah.
Unless you get it from the doctor. Everything's dangerous. Which is I mean
that's what these fucking people are doing is they're making us go back to the doctors
but the doctors won't even prescribe shit anymore. No that's the thing you know.
So it's like now it's a double edged sword. They were prescribing too much to get us into
this situation. Right. And now they cut the government and make some cut back.
Man everybody's hooked on dope. And they're not even dope anymore.
Right. And then they go turn to the shit on the street. I mean the whole point you turn from
OxyCottons. And it kills you because it's so powerful. Well it's because it's mixed with
shit. You get all the badges and stuff. Yeah. Or yeah that also
um but what was I just saying. Fuck I just forgot
I lost my train of thought there. You know somebody's on
regular OxyCotons. Oh yeah. Or something. Or Vicodons. And then
the doctor doesn't sell them to them and then they go get a couple of bags of what they think it's
heroin and it's fentanyl. Or even a pill that they think
it's a pill and it's fucking fentanyl. But people are you're not getting enough pills anymore to even get hooked anymore.
Now you're just doing you know what I mean. Right. Right. It's
they're not they're not prescribing that shit. But think about it people went from Oxy
to heroin. It was heroin. It wasn't this shit that it is now.
You know what I mean. Yeah. Like it might even mix with benzos and stuff.
The shit now is just like I mean I remember people would die
and you would want to go to that spot. Sure. Because they had strong
shit. Right. Which I mean is the hypocrisy of just saying that is
horrible. But it's chilling. It's the truth. It's chilling in hindsight.
Like yeah like I put serious in the wrong way. It's behind sight and it's fucking chilling.
That's how word of mouth the shit went around. And now it's like
who knows what the hell. Oh man did you hear so and so fell out. Oh yeah where did you get that shit.
Oh no yeah. Or you would just be going downtown walking around
and I mean look at all those spots were open air. I mean they were within
blocks of each other too. Yeah. It wasn't that hard. Once you got
down there you were good. How about the how about the
hand coming out of the brick wall. Why don't you tell me. No it was a fucking
it wasn't even a brick wall. It was at like Roosevelt
and Cicero I think it was. I don't know if we have to bleep that out. Probably not.
It was the beginning of the story. But it was in like this
it was weird it was like it went around like
this. I can't remember the street names or shall I say them. I just gave it general
area of where we were at. Yeah that's fine. You'd like pull around to this alley
and then there was like a gravel driveway and you knocked
on the fucking house and there was just a hole. It was a trap house
and there was just a hole there. And the guy would be like
and he'd be like how many. And the hand would
just come out and he'd grab the money and then the hand would come back out with the dope.
It was very silly.
You had to make eye contact. No but I mean it's
listen you know the funny thing is like when we were doing
that people would be like oh man I'm getting my you know I'm getting you could get
all those pills man. Sure. Like this is you know. Back in
the day. Yeah and then now it was like
why would I go see a doctor when I get a hand and then I got to see
him. The hand is healing
off. The healing hand.
But it's like why the fuck
am I gonna go get you know I don't have insurance. Sure.
Now I gotta find even though J-Bird had a shady doctor
that I could see. Sure. My god the line for that place. There'd be a hundred fucking
people in line man. A half an hour before they opened. Oh man
I remember going to so many fucking doctor's offices with your brother. The fucking pain clinics
man. Oh. Geez they would and then they just
would be asking me if I wanted to sign up. Like no
I'm like I don't need you know you're gonna get me hooked
on this shit. I'm already hooked on other shit. Yeah I'm fine with
this shit too. I mean yeah now I gotta come in here and drive all the way here. Like ah man
that just sounds too hard. But people like pills. It never
was a pill guy. Yeah. Not really. I never got into him until
I got married and my wife and my wife loved him and
so you know I started getting into him. I'd see how fucked up she was and I'd be like
hey man give me one of them motherfuckers and before you know it I was like oh yeah.
Well what do you mean oh yeah I mean what are you gonna do. I was fucking you know
I realized how high how good it was. Yeah. But you know it's just all
bad shit. Well but it's pharmaceutical you know what I mean
it's high grade shit. Yeah. It's the purest we're gonna get. Yeah.
I mean I don't even unless you go to like the fucking golden triangle
or like Afghanistan. I mean maybe
we should do the podcast on Afghanistan. I went to
buy a kilo for fucking ISIS. Just fucking Argentina and the cocaine
was $7 a gram. Well yeah. That was fucking and it was good shit.
When I was in TJ it would give that shit away. Sure.
You know what I mean like and plus our fucking dollar was so strong. Sure.
It was like 13 pesos to a dollar. I think it was like 20,000
I think in Chile it was 20,000 pesos. Jesus Christ man.
And it came out to like $7. Why would you
20,000 of anything. I know. The money was crazy. You'd have
to like you know if you had a hundred US dollars you'd
have a stack of money. Yeah. You'd go to a strip club and you'd
fucking. Just make it throw a hundred dollars.
It was crazy. Maybe that's what.
We're not American make it rain but we're third world country.
Hell yeah dude. Fuck man. We can afford
Give me the Buenos Aires, Argentina and I'll make it rain. I want
odds on our money. It's just going to a strip club
and worthless money around. It's like well Venezuela.
Yeah. I wonder if we could we should see if we could buy a pallet of Venezuelan money.
I'm sure you can. It's not worth it. Paper mache something with it. Yeah that'd be
pretty cool. A guitar or something. Actually that's how we should do. That's how
I'm gonna do your Viking funeral. I'm gonna send that to see on
Venezuelan money. And then I'm gonna shoot an arrow at you.
Yeah. But what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna have a gay guy
bang you in your head. Great. That's fucking great because that's my
final wish. I'm gonna totally defile your
Well I'm not gonna defile your corpse. Thanks.
There's nothing wrong with that Larry. We have to fill you a gasoline too
because you're gonna have to burn. Well I'm gonna drink a bunch. That's how I'm gonna die.
You're gonna be dying.
That's actually I like the committedness. Is that a word
committedness? It might be. Commitment. Commitment. There you go.
But I mean if you're gonna drink gas I mean because I think we looked it up.
I don't think there's anywhere we can do it. My brother fucking drank
lamp oil once on accident. Our friends were
moving and they fucking had lamp
oil poured into a water jug like Hinkley and Schmidt fucking
water jug and my brother's carrying furniture up and down these stairs
and he sees this water jug on the kitchen table at the top of the
stairs. Jesus how much fucking lamp oil did he keep it on? He just poured it because he didn't want
to put his mouth on the fucking jug. But couldn't he tell that the color was off?
You couldn't tell. No it was clear shit. Oh man.
And he took a couple of nice jugs
He must have got violently sick. He did man.
He was fucking real sick. He had to go to the hospital and shit.
And fucking I was like what the fuck
man he was pissed off like who the fuck. Maybe that's what started him taking his
shirt off. No. He's a spider man. He got bit by
oh yeah I know we have a picture. And it was weird because for
like a year or something after that he smelled like fucking
oils. Yeah man it really almost killed him. It was fucking bad.
And he said who the fuck puts lamp
oil in a water jug on a marquing day. Without marquing it. Yeah.
At least fucking right on it. It said water on there
you know it still had the label. I mean I think you would smell it as soon as you open
it. But yeah the thing was is he just you know him
I mean yeah but he fucking
you know he just does. They can't be good for you drinking any kind of oil. No.
It was bad. Yeah they go to poison control and shit.
I hate to laugh about it. I can laugh now
because it's okay because that was years ago but at the time
I was kind of fucking worried. I'm like shit man my brother might die.
Yeah imagine your fucking organs. Yeah it was fucking bad. Break down lamp oil.
Yeah he had to like go to the doctor and shit. First he got to induce vomiting.
Get that shit out of you. I think it was
I think it was too late.
I think they didn't. As soon as he drank it he should start it's puking.
Yeah but I think they told him the opposite. I gotta ask him exactly.
I gotta ask him. I don't know man you ain't a lamp. Maybe he
maybe they pumped his stomach. Yeah they gotta get that shit out of there man.
It's flammable. They said it doesn't matter that we pumped your stomach.
We got it all out but you're still gonna. Your body still f**ked.
He was f**king sick man for a while.
For like a couple of weeks and not feeling
great for I'd say a couple of years. Yeah. I feel great for a couple
of years. Yeah kind of through a wrench in his works.
Because he chomped lamp oil.
You think that he'd survive. Yeah they got it. He didn't f**king die.
Yeah but man the amount of stress and oh that puts on your body.
It's not good. I mean
they're not doing better than doing drugs you know. Yeah.
The doctor told him don't smoke for a while.
F**king
just combust. That would suck.
You could have a cigarette since we'd and everything back then.
He could light his hand on fire.
He's just walking around. It's like the fantastic floor. Yeah he went down for Johnny Flame or whatever
his name was. Nicky Flame. Nicky No shirt flame.
Alright well that seems like
a good point to end. Yeah this is a very serious f**king episode
this time around but thank you for
listening. This is a Needles and Larry and
Needles. Okay take two. Thank you
for listening. This is Larry and Needles show. We love
you and uh. We'll call you. Yeah baby
don't drink any lamp oil. Peace.