Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles Show.
And the Needles Show.
It's big 10.
So we're hot on the show.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay, so we're hot right now?
Yeah, welcome to the Larry and Needles Show.
I'm Larry.
That's Needs Over There.
And the Needles.
How you doing Larry?
I'm doing good.
How about you, man?
Oh man, I am fucking phenomenal.
You know what?
That's what all the boys and the boys sound to me.
What's that?
That you're phenomenal.
What's that?
I mean, Jesus Christ.
I don't know what that meant, but okay.
I mean, look at them stove pipes and you dig in those pants.
Jesus.
Do you hang around school yards with those things?
Actually, a young girl at...
How many buckles around those pants?
I know.
A young girl at Woodman's complimented me yesterday.
I was wearing these two.
Hey, I like your pants, she said.
Yeah, and what did you say?
I thank you because anything more than that would have been fucking probably illegal.
I don't even worry about you with my lawyer?
Yeah.
Oh, well, I mean Jesus Christ, yeah.
I mean, you're going to get persecuted or prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
You're not Jesus or David crush, you know, I've ever seen the way you know what I started watching this thing about Waco
Yeah, you know anything about it. Yeah, I do. Okay. Well, tell me what you know
Well, what do you want to know? I know I just tell me what you know
I just played the guitar and they had a lot of his guitars
Dude, they were airbrushed
You can get some and I sent you those actually that one guy was selling it that one time
And then I started looking at a lot. All right. So here needles is gonna interject in the letter
Complete deconstruction of Waco. So what happened in 1993? How old were you in 93? I?
Was in high school. I didn't I was a junior in high school. Oh shit. I was like, I don't know 25 or something
Oh my god, what are you doing Larry still kissing dudes? That's all right. So
In Waco, Texas, so
Basically they have this thing called the Branch Davidians
Okay, also, that's not his real name. He took that name. Yeah, no, that's not his real name
I wish I could fucking tell you name is like Merrill something. Yeah, it was something weird like that
I mean, we're not a spot on cast, you know, but at the same time, you know our facts no
so
But we know how to talk the ATF comes to this guy's joint
and they unload
on camera
To his compound yeah, and the reason that the ATF went there was because they were making machine guns
Who was making machine guns the Branch Davidians they weren't making machine yes, they were they were actually had like in-house
No, dude, yeah
Documentary son here's what I heard the reason that the FBI went there is because the mailman first of all
delivering some packages the ATF was busted open and fucking
Hand grenades came out. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Listen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
So what happened was the fucking ATF went in first
Allegedly and they ran into a guy who's a postman and they asked him for direct or a camera crew
That's what it was a camera crew got lost asked the fucking mailman who was a branch Davidian
David Kress his follower. Uh-huh. He said hey, do you know where this fucking address is?
They're gonna do a raid on it
So this guy fucking goes back and David Kress. Yeah, dude
It's on Netflix right now. It just came out
You know whatever but
It's crazy. You can actually see you know what me and my wife watch the entire
Watch the whole new Netflix thing. I'm so I didn't absorb any of it is what happened
Why wouldn't you absorb any of it? I mean, I remember the day for the government cuz you're a leftist. I understand
I mean, I know you ride the blue pony, but okay, man calm down Larry. Oh
Anyway, I have a fucking story for you Larry, okay, I got one too. Yeah
Jim suit came over today. You ready samurai Mike. Yeah, wow a knocked on the door real hard like it was the cops
Let's use your wall and I opened the door because I didn't know who it was and
No
His face is sticking in he already has the screen door open. He's like hey, and I didn't he banned from here
Yeah, and so then I just like I mean literally by the cops. No, no not officially
I didn't fill out any papers or not. I already pulled a knife on you. Yeah, and so I
And and forth and and forth so two people in one day. Yeah, and
Well, so anyways, he's like hey man, and I just slammed the door in his face without saying a word and locked the door
And then you call the cops. No, and then he's outside go. Hey, man
Come on. I'm like dude. Just get the fuck out of here, man
And then he's going give me a pen and paper. I just want to write you a note and he stayed out there for like a
Right a bicycle here. Yes. Oh man, and then Frank the pizza guy was coming over
you know, he was just gonna stop by for a visit and
And
He chatted with me and married for a while and I told him the story about this crazy guy
I just left my house and he says to me was he on a bicycle and I said yeah, man
He said that guy tried to kiss me. No
He said he was swerving down the street on his bike and he was swerving in the Frank's truck
Frank fucking had to like get out of the way from hitting them and then
Uh, uh, Jim suit was fucking flipping them off going fuck you, buddy
They tried to ride into his truck and we fucking tried to ride into his truck
He's got a fucking death wish. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Yeah, if we got him on the pod. Oh my god
Oh, no, I have to shut the internet down for a minute and erase a lot of name
Fuck that guy, but hopefully his meds are on track. Anyway, that was my excitement for today. And that was it
Well, yeah, I mean I didn't go out there. I love how Frank saw him too though. Yeah, that's a funny part
Yeah, I go. Yeah, I saw that guy riding with the same rice
He's riding at 12 speed
Exactly. Thanks Frank. He pulls up like four minutes before it's fucking crazy
I can Jim suits still trying to get there man. So
This fucking story I got it is amazing. Let me pull it up, dude
It better be amazing man. Man. It is just sick of this fucking half-ass bullshit out of you. All right, so
Oh
Seven men between the ages of 30 and 60 were arrested in December
2022 for broadcasting castration procedures live
What they allegedly carried out the procedure in a basement flat in
Finsbury Park, London what broadcast it on a pay-per-view channel that was promoted via a Twitter account
Are you fucking kidding me?
Yeah, right there honey the bizarre act known as new low castration cult was inspired by Japanese artist
Myo Sugomura who had his testicles and penis sliced off and
Served to eat for $200 a plate. Oh my god
Press the side mirror
Hold it down. Hold it down. Oh
Shit, we got it. I got it welcome
So I mean that's here tonight. My wife Mary just came in I mean Jesus
This guy cut his dick and his balls off and served at the people for $200 a plate. It seems cheap
What the fuck is wrong with this motherfucker plates did they serve?
I mean
It's not like in order was a hundred plates a guy must had quite a fucking dick. He's Asian
So, you know probably was too far too play. They probably have the blur
He's got a half a fucking inch. Yeah, that's all right though. What do you want Larry? I'm trying to I'm turning my wife
I'm I'm also the producer of this show. I want everyone to know out there and computer
Well, you're not I help you fucking edit this shit. What are you talking? He does he does get out of here
I set up the fucking mics and press record. Do you want to heat her is that what you want?
No, I'm gonna turn my wife around so she's facing the motherfucking microphone on her way with dinner
Oh awesome. What's she bringing Johnny's Johnny's beef. Yeah, nice Johnny's beef
No beef with hot peppers you should get a combo kid. Oh, that's the best way to go
Actually, I got for us. I got a beef with hot peppers in a plain sauce. Oh, man. That's all right
Those you want to go out tell Sherry. Yeah, tell Sherry. I would like a fucking rainbow
We got our friend Sherry coming over and she's bringing us food. She's not here yet
Don't mean but let me tell you something. She's bringing us food. Whether she gets on air or not. It's regardless
I'm gonna eat John. You're not just here to the story. I told you Larry have these guys
In a dick in their balls off and live and charge people this so wait wait wait wait wait
So now my peppers. Yes, please they get this done
Surgically or just like fucking who does this?
I mean, what do I look like? I'm not the fucking
Reading the thing does a doctor do it or does just some
Way too deep into it. I mean, well, I mean if you're chopping your junk off
You don't want to fucking die
If you're doing it as an art form and you're gonna serve it as well
Would you go so I mean you're gonna find an earth full doctor. I mean that is some
Shit man, there's some shot in the some doctor needs to leave. Maybe they're getting a veterinarian like on trailer park
Oh guys, you know
I
Sell sell green no no shit
But at the same time I mean these guys are fucking they cut out their cock and balls and then what I mean and then
I mean, I'm sure they could copy some months of painkillers
We're gonna plan there ain't enough painkillers in the world that would make you want to do something like that moon
Yeah, but there might be enough dudes
What are you gonna do with all those dudes?
You're like a human sushi plate over there think of anything yeah, I can think of a lot of things
I'm sure you can't look at them stove pipes
You're like a Easter egg over there
So I'm gonna crack that ass open and get it going, but yeah, you know what?
I should have read the fucking rest of the story though
Well, you know all good reporters would but anyways the thing of it is is
What do they do for their second act? I mean, it's kind of a one-time art thing. Well, he did pretty good on that time
It's not like you could say well the next time he does it he'll do a better job
Because there's only one shot at that and dude Nullo
Also known as a smoothie is short for genitalia nullification
What or voluntary?
Eunkern what's it called?
Unic Unic Unic
According to Daily Mail there are an estimated 10,000 to 15,000 voluntary
Nullos worldwide a cleanly. We how many say the end of 15,000
It's not a year or a day or a ever. Yeah, there's 330 fucking million people or 340 million people
But a clinic in California charges around ten thousand dollars
Excluding hospital fees there are clinics in Mexico which are willing to do a no-question
castration
Oh my god smoothie dick and balls gone like a Ken doll. That's what they mean, bro
Isn't that nuts dude? No, that's not nuts because they won't have any
That is pretty fucked up. Oh, you think yeah, I mean so when are you getting yours?
Next week
You want to join me I get cheaper I get more air miles. Yeah, I'm sure they do have package deals for that
No package deals type. Yeah, that's what it ends up being a no package deal. Oh
Man fucking fucking morons people are really fucking stupid. It just goes to show you that there's an asshole
They're doing anything ill people are meant. Yeah, yeah, that's stupid and then they go on check
Listen, you can't teach common sense Larry. No, and the other thing is okay
The mental illness goes on checks because everyone thinks it's like they're right to be fucking crazy
And so everyone doesn't want to say you set the timer. No shit. I will keep going there
No one wants to be the one to call them out on being mentally ill
So then you get to the point where they're doing smoothies and shit. I mean that is pretty fucked up
But before they get to the smoothie point
Somewhere along the line. I just stepped in and said dude, that's right there
Yeah
Something's wrong with you. Maybe you should see a doctor
Well, but not a doctor to take your shit. I don't hear something. Okay, so I
I read this and this is alleged because you know what I mean? I get my news from a lot of sources
They might not be on the jet, but so the the first trans lady
Shown in American Airlines commercial. Yeah
Killed herself by suicide the other day. No, it happens to most of them. Oh, I mean, that's a broad statement
But no, well, it does, you know, they had these books where they they this person was writing this book
I can't remember the author of course because I'm a fucking idiot
And what they were doing was interviewing these
Transgender people and they want to interview them before, you know and on their way to get in the operation
Yeah, yeah, and then they wanted to get to you know years later and say, you know as as adults down the road
Right and they couldn't finish the book because most of them committed suicide
Oh, I mean really but you know 90% of the motherfuckers committed suicide. They couldn't all right
Well, now we're off a trans shit. Let's talk about mental illness. There's a lot of mental illness going on
I'm not associated with being trans. No, no, no me either but but I'm not gonna make that an operation
Maybe it's not really a trans thing and it is a mental illness
More mental letting people go unchecked because they they're scared to say just in case it is a trans thing
You know, that's all I'm saying but I mean how when is trans come about?
I don't know never never occurred to me 20 years ago. Oh shit more than that
I want to say my parents told me that the first person
To get the operation done was a famous person like the 50s Mary all the way back in the 50s Larry
Yeah, my face is numb
Keep
Now this person went to Sweden got this operation and was like a world famous thing
Man, I wish my dad was here because he would tell you the name and everything shadow big joke. Yeah, and
So yeah, it's been going on for quite a while, and you know, they've been doing that shit
They've been making porno's with chicks with dicks all the way back in the 70s and shit, you know, okay?
So that's been going on
Well, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about
Trans-trans like it's been an issue right all of a sudden. Yeah. Yeah, I guess yeah, I'm just glad I don't have any kids
of that age
Yeah, I mean
Dealing especially being in a big city though. That's a problem too also is that there's so many people nowadays that there's no
really
And it's okay to be a freak man. I like freaks. I love freaks man
And rocker you fucking want to do your fucking hair up?
I mean colors and fucking go crazy and get that to you. I'm pending my lawyers right here. That's all good
you know when they when they when they
Brainwash kids into thinking that that's the answer. I mean, you know, maybe they should grow up and be fruity and you know
They want to be kids are maleable
Yeah, they go to school for a couple hours a day
But when they go home and they get that bullshit all day long also like all my kids gay like all right, man
Well, some parents fucking kids to be like that. Well, the end thing
It's cool. Oh, man, but do you think you know crazy that that's
Imagine if you had to make your kid say he's gay cuz it's cool. I
Mean, oh, I don't think they're making the kids say that I'm thinking if they know
Kids three years old like he's gay. Oh, yeah. Well, I was thinking I wasn't thinking that young
Do you people do that?
No, I didn't know that shit on tiktok all the time really look at my kid. He's gay
Really? Yeah, and he's three. Yeah, man. I mean listen man. I'm not I'm not on tiktok at all
I don't trust that shit dude. I mean, I mean
It's Chinese fucking government shit. Well now we're gonna get fucking nuke tiktok. Thanks to you Larry
My lawyer though so
You can't give out my address I live with your lawyer. I know exactly I mean it's lawyer. Is that the only reason I'm fucking safe?
And you saw me weed
Mary what are you looking at again?
Mary's on fire tonight. I know man. She's hot
Thank God she didn't fall asleep
Mary's been looking at her phone the whole time
Fucking amazing
People are asking about where's John Fetter?
Who's that?
Senator that's in the oh that big dude that had the stroke a goofy guy. Yeah, where is he at mayor?
It's like where's Waldo? Yeah
veteran
Yeah, I mean he can't be hard to pick the fuck out the guy with the fucking like elbow limp right arm
Big galoot. I guess he's a big galoot that had the fucking stroke. Yeah. What do you mean the hospital?
He's at the hospital. Yeah, well then we know where he's at. Why would they say where is he at?
He's been getting repeated endless enemas for the last four months. How do you know this?
I mean that was a request he had before he went into the coma
Multiple enemas per hour
That was the and actually they got the Illinois enema banded out of jail
I know a banded he was so good at if you all motherfuckers don't know listen to Frank Zappa
Illinois enema banded amazing cheese store man used to go into people's houses and
tie up boyfriends, right and
For four animals out and then give her enema or the boyfriend watched
That's a fact which you know it could have ended up a lot worse considering
I mean come on man like is that I mean is that what you're really into?
No, but you know if a cycle bus in your house, he could kill you and this is before
Just gives you an enema, but this guy this was before porn like this guy had no so think about this
Okay, listen if you're into fee obviously you have
Well, but I mean I'm not just saying being facetious shall I say?
See she is oh
Don't be facetious in any way, but
This guy's into it, you know what I mean like you're into he must be you're in defeat
You know what I mean like all of a sudden they say it's all tied together shall I say they say that because we look at JC
Penny catalogs and always
Braziers and underwear right that's why we're an underwear. You know they mean guys like that and shit
But at the same time enema is a weird thing, bro. You got to fill a bag up
And then you know what's coming come on
This song by Frank's apple, it's a real dude. I think you should change the subject. I mean you never had an enema
But I mean the Illinois animal band
I mean fucking a it's a band
No, no Frank's song
It's a baby
No
It's not a band
The Illinois animal band
How many gigs you think you get none
Thanks, Mary. This is my lawyer
Maybe it's a little bit
Maybe we'll get a good gig or two at a weird bath house
I mean Jesus, but you'd hope you would produce of the Hunger Games is
Could you speak up ma'am into the microphone please
Of the Hunger Games I'm reading Twitter. Yeah, yo the federal government doesn't own your kids
teachers unions don't own their kids the
The LGBTQ mafia doesn't own your kids their mafia now if they call them maybe LG come on really
Okay, wait a second hold your fingers up Larry
LG hold your fingers up come on
You you know you you're a quayer
Larry's a fanook
No
There's a plus in there
Another country wait shut the fuck up
Hey, I'm telling
What hey listen?
They want to add more fucking letters on to the LGBTQ thing first of all comparing them to the mafia as a disgrace
The scratchy odd shall I say I mean come on these fucking people
The mob came from another country took this country over another comparing them that
That's how egregious
Well, what do you mean? Well, you don't think so Mary what you don't think they're calling
I wasn't paying I mean she's not even either are you
Both years are not Jesus Christ layer you're both that mushrooms and it's things
Maybe the question is my lawyer
She's looking at the other way towards the fucking crowd rather than the judge, uh-huh this is egregious
See if you would have set the timer we don't know where we're at a it's seven of seven if it doesn't help us out at all
I brought my phone down
You said you were gonna do it. What do you mean? I said I was gonna do it beginning you said I'm gonna set my clock
And we'll time it
You did too motherfucker. Okay. You have so many I can't find my phone again, man
Yeah, the fuck did I do with that thing?
Shoot that's a train whistle
Shit
I mean this is not the time to be looking for your phone we're in the middle of a podcast Larry
We're cutting this part out. No, we're not we're keeping it. Fuck we are
You're just wandering around like an old drunk man
Yeah, look at him perv
Now and then the next part should be Larry gets arrested for sexually assaulting a goat. No
I got off on that
Oh, that's a what that's like the one time me and me and Mary were driving through the country when we saw this
Guy fucking a sheep out in the field at this farm and we drove up the driveway of the house and knocked on the door
And we told the people
You know kid answered the door and I'm like, do you know there's a guy out in your field
It's fucking a sheep and he said that's no big deal. That's just my dad
Oh my god
The worst joke ever told
Ah, fuck you as you put your gloves on my fingerless gloves
Fuck off
Hey
One sherry coming with that food, huh?
Yeah, we should do we're getting that so what sherry i'm getting
Yeah, she definitely get no no we're gonna
Yeah, well, I love sherry more than anything in this world. I'll go upstairs and listen for her. Oh, yeah figures
I mean, that's all right. Hey, Mary
What's your conspiracy right now?
Uh, a low battery
Low battery. That's why she's going upstairs. That's that she's a robot. No
Oh, Elon musk and his twitter his what he just tweeted was not possible to make motorcycles safe
They must be getting on him about
What
He writes not possible to make motorcycles safe
Okay, and our motorcycles safe. I mean, I don't know what you're saying. It's not possible to make them completely safe
Well, yeah, no shit. It's a motorcycle. They're fucking dangerous. Yeah, I mean you got two wheels on the fucking highway
I got it by car my scooter
You want to go with the offer? We'll do even that fucking thing even that shit is unsafe
You want to hear a crazy story? So i'm fucking driving on 53
Going south right um passing by euclid
Motorcycle merges on the highway
Fucking car hits them. Oh
Oh, fuck hits this motherfucker over over and and then over. Oh
Needles just went and saw a friend
You know what I mean?
He was a sniff um this friend if you know what I mean
and uh, so needles was holding and uh, so
Literally everything was shut down. It literally happened in front of me. I go down. It's like, uh
You ever see those picture frames when the old score is like
The the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the you know what I mean?
It's like spinning around and shit like I look down this fucking guy's mangled bones
sticking out of his fucking leg his arm
And I just literally like I was closest to him. I came out. He's trying to pull his helmet off
I'm like holding them down like not holding them down, but holding his hand and this dude was fucking mangled larry like
Holy shit, this happened for real?
Yeah, holy fuck man. Man the boy was gacked
motorcycle huh the kid on the bike or you needles well, that's fine
Yeah, but no, I mean this is a fucking intense situation. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean?
I like sounds and all of a sudden so I look down and it's just me I look up again
There's a lady. I'm a nurse. I look up again the fucking cops are there and
then everybody starts asking questions and I just
slowly
Saunter back to my vehicle and get out and get the fuck out of there cuz you don't want to be part of an investigation
Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean?
So so the fucking kid got hit and walking with was merging on and somebody just blasted
Oh mother fuck. I mean literally. I was on a crotch rocket. Oh, and I mean it was the craziest thing
He went fucking shit like he came up and they just didn't even fuck and fuck man give way
Hey, those motherfuckers went up over 30 foot. Oh
Damn roll roll roll roll bones. Oh, man. Well, let me tell you fortunately. I'm there. Let me tell you
And now here's the difference. Okay. He's going at speeds and he's landing on concrete getting hit by a car going fast
I was on a side street on my scooter and I went like at the three stooges when they show the rag doll in the air and
You're floating when you're 20 feet in the air and you and it seems like slow motion when you're coming down
You know, it's like oh man
I'm gonna be fucked and I landed in grass and I remember falling down come on. I remember
Right before yeah, dude. Oh, yeah
Shall I ask my lawyer? What do you think mayor?
Was Larry able to drive at that point I was fucked up. I ain't gonna lie
There's no doubt I was cold
Drunk the hilarious
Wait, I was inebriated drunk
This is literally a
Hundred yard not even this 50 feet from the house. No, maybe I'm right and it came down over there, right?
No, I turn right and then I turned left. Yeah, so about a hundred yards. I was by
Steve's friend the kid with the bicycle. I don't know if the fucking whistle that out, but yeah, no, I know it's hilarious
Steve is just the name
And and that's it man. I just he got hit by a car on your scooter
Yeah, and so I can't even imagine the kid on this crotch rocket. No, I'm gonna end over and though
Oh, that was a different fucking that was just a wipeout when I was fucked up
So Larry has a proclivity to get hit on his moped
No, I only got hit once one time. I just fucked was fucked up
We have great scooter story
The bad that was gonna be sleeping on your back when we're going to the street. Oh my god
Driving through the park. We were all of a sudden someone's backyard
I'm like, how the fuck did we get you done a scooter?
This should be our other podcast name
It'll be your podcast to do
You
Know I ride solo I know you did only put bitches on the scooter
Anybody in Chicago land will know or at least you know, they're like the kiss dude Westside
That about Johnny's but
Okay, anywhere else they won't know yeah, but you know what I'm hungry man, and I mean and fuck
I'm excited that Sherry's bringing food. Yeah, sure. He's a dude
All right, well, should we end this then and move on I
Don't know I wonder how long we've been going check Larry. Yeah, they're probably good son of a bitch bitch
God damn it Larry. Let's see when I say I'm poor Sherry's gonna come here and we're just fucking out of our mind