Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.
And the Needles show.
Check.
We're checked, bro.
We're all good?
Where are we going to recou-
Hehehehe.
Look at those guns, dude.
Guts and guns over there.
Hehehehe.
What a body.
Are we live right now?
Are we recording?
Yeah.
Oh, thank god.
Thank you, Guts and Guns.
So, welcome to the fucking Larry and Needles show.
Larry and Needles.
And?
I'm Larry.
I said it.
Yeah, okay.
So, I'm Larry.
First of all, I would like to introduce a friend of mine.
This is my friend Kiki.
He's the holder of secrets.
Hahaha.
No one shall ever know what has gone on and what I have done,
including me, because I forgot a lot of them.
So thank you.
He's the Polish princess, the Kilbasic Queen.
He's been in two movies, guess what they were, JoJo?
Ass-Ramers.
Buttbrothers One and Buttbrothers Two.
How's this?
I don't know what else to say.
They actually asked him to come back to number two.
Haha.
He was going to say number 27 and 34.
Well, I mean, you're both for nooks, so you would get...
Haha.
So, at the same time.
Well, hello.
Kiki.
My brother and I love him.
How are you doing, brother?
I'm doing fantastic.
Okay.
And second thing I shall say, sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off,
Joey's intro, because now we introduced it, it is amazing.
Thank you, my friend.
All right.
Thank you.
Speaking of intro, when I listened to a clip from, I think it was the first podcast,
was it your dad?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Big Joe.
Yeah, the 88.
Delta.
Delta 88 and 89.
I actually thought the intro ended when you're like, yeah, yeah, and then the coughing started.
You got to put that into your intro as the ending.
Well.
I think that would be pretty bad.
Now you're the producer, Joe.
Oh, boy.
I mean, you're taking that shit to the next level.
I'll tell you, listen to it, and you're like, wow, that actually fits, because it's like
the Larry Nidles, and then all of a sudden you have a guy coughing at the end and then
cut.
I mean, we're going to really take advice from a guy in a fucking life now.
Well, it's snowing now.
Jesus Christ, look at this.
I'm always in sunshine.
I mean, this guy looks like he's been in the sun all day, and it's kind of like.
He's actually got a little bit of a sunburn.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
How did that happen?
I was in Florida.
Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
This guy's a high-frequency.
What do you say?
Holy shit.
Hey, did you set the recorder timer?
Oh, no.
Where's my phone, man?
What do you guys do with time?
And does that, like, uh, something?
Well, no, we do five minutes before, just because.
Trying to do an hour.
And check out, yeah, what's wrong.
Thanks, Larry, for just getting up in the middle of the show and fucking leaving when
you should have been like, do you have a phone?
Shit, man.
I don't know where my fucking phone is.
Larry!
Hey, Larry!
Larry!
Larry, where are you going?
Walking in circles around here.
Dude, just for a fucking phone, it's probably right there.
We need a timer.
We can put a timer on it.
Oh, no, not at all.
So then...
This is totally shit, man.
We're good.
Oh, that's a good drink.
All right.
Hey, man, when's the me-loaf done?
Hey!
I gotta set the fucking timer.
I didn't even see those guitars over there, too.
Damn.
Larry's got some shit going on there.
We're gonna add a video aspect soon.
No, this is a...
Yeah, this is a perfect place to have a video going on.
I mean, it's almost like a rape done, but I...
I'll show you.
Well, that's kind of why I like it.
Yeah, perfect.
Makes you comfortable, though.
Nice sound, 70% of the materials.
It kicks your feet out.
Yeah, it makes me feel at home.
I'm gonna take my pants off.
As all good, raped ends should make you feel.
Yeah!
I mean, since you're the purveyor, show me.
I thought you were gonna say the purver.
No, no, not at all.
You're a mother purver.
You're the purveyor.
You oversee the purrs.
The purrs are the purrs.
Larry?
Oh, you gotta love it.
So...
Dude, I'll tell you what.
Does that picture remind me?
Oh, God.
Man, that was very funny.
Wait a while.
Which one?
What is the statute of limitations on, like, stealing panties?
Oh, man.
It's...
It's an S-acquatch.
If you have a question, don't worry.
I'm an expirer.
Yeah, well, I meant...
It's only like...
If you're gonna use names, use them,
because we'll fucking whistle on that.
I can't even remember.
It's been like 20 years, though.
But I remember doing a side job at a house.
I was looking at that picture of the old, like, 70s titties.
And this couple, they had, like, erotic...
It's a big picture.
Yeah, well, they had erotic pictures of themselves,
just like that, in their bedroom.
Like, it was crazy.
Did they do that dog out?
Dude, dude.
Did he have a bush or no?
No, no, but like, tits.
But they didn't have dongs or nothing?
No, no, no.
It's kind of like her.
She was covered, like, they were covered in blankets and stuff.
I've seen some nice people...
She's got some nice, totally...
...moving people and shit.
Yeah, but all the people were...
...some rich ass people were fucking...
Moving them when I worked at the moving company for fucking...
...fucking...
...fucking train whistle that on, that's a clown.
You might as well say...
...fucking...
...fucking train whistle.
People had paintings of the fucking wife and she was hot.
Okay, well look at the picture he was talking about.
That's not...
I don't...
That's nobody we know, though.
This one was like I was moving the lady.
I see the painting and then I'm like...
She is.
She always went to Coke and said,
Ah, yeah, I want more than a Coke.
I don't want to fucking see this.
Exactly.
But, oh, but anyways, it just reminded me of the time...
Well, Dan, a daughter, she's 18.
Oh, boy, here's where it gets saucy.
Like, I saw like, you know, you...
But she might have soiled them panties before she was 18.
I mean, she was still an ice-cream...
Oh, don't look at me.
Possibility.
What the fuck?
Well, yeah, I saw soiled panties on the ground.
I think I have to check some out in her room and I...
...fucking yanked them.
Yeah.
Well...
You yanked them and then did what?
What do you do with the pure soiled panties?
You put them in a plastic bag and bring them home.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
Now you're turning into a Colombian drug smuggler.
Ha-ha.
Well, dude, she was just hiding panties.
She was a little hottie.
I mean, I was only in my 20s.
Yeah.
She's had to be in her 20s.
I don't blame you.
Hey, Kiki, I woulda took them.
Dude, I love sniffing.
You woulda worn them like a mask.
I mean, Jesus Christ, don't lie.
This guy would probably shovel a mask off.
What else are you supposed to do with them?
Oh, lots of things.
I mean, twirl them around.
Face mask.
You wear them even if you know it.
Look at this guy.
I don't want to take them.
Right.
You know, this is where we get to know the other guys.
Yeah, mints.
It all snowballs and stuff.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm a dirtbag class.
Oh, well, I know.
Great name.
I've known you for how long.
So then our first thing is, how many Bitcoin do you think JoJo could fit in his ass?
I think the answer would be as endless because it's not really a thing, right?
That's a good answer.
I mean, is that how many Bitcoin do you want in your ass?
How many do you want up there, buddy?
What's your fucking desire, pal?
Oh, man.
You sound like a whore.
What's your desire?
We are in the rape den.
Hey, you want a lighter kit?
You got it?
Oh, man.
Hey, you want a smoky?
No, I'm all right.
It's going to get male congested.
All right.
What a pussy.
Oh, man.
Nice ladies.
You're a guest.
Why would you say that to me?
I mean, growing herb for 20-something years.
The crazy thing is, if I reach my hand to touch plants like my arm, I'll break out in
the hives.
It's fucking crazy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Talk to my doctor about it and everything.
You know what the other thing that cures that is?
Yellow fever.
What if I had that for a long time?
He's got a proclivity.
So he's allergic to the weed?
The plants.
Now, even I was by another person's house that was growing it, and it was just sniffing
the shit, touching it.
Like fucking face was starting to get all my sinuses clogged immediately.
Excuse me.
Fucked up.
Does this smoke bother you?
No.
I should.
We'll find out.
No, I mean, if I reach my arm and even plants that aren't even flowering, all of a sudden
I'll pull them out.
Like within an instant, I'll just have red dots all over my fucking arm.
Oh, shit.
I mean, I've been doing it for fucking 20-something years, and it just started happening like in
the past five years.
Fuck crazy.
Man, I hope that don't happen to Stoney.
I think he got hurt.
Fucked up.
He made the guy get something else.
He just banged the wrong tune.
What was the last plant you were, what was the last few plants you've been with?
What?
That's the herpes from.
What the fuck are you?
You're trying to have patience here, man.
Fuck off, man.
I'm not an idiot.
You said it, I did it.
Yeah, I said you're an idiot.
You're right.
I love it.
All right, so we're going to do a story right now.
Fucking got you, Bob.
I'm going to tell you a story about Smokey.
Smokey?
The wheelchair band?
Oh, no.
The other guy.
The wheelchair?
It involves the wheelchair band.
That was a good story.
What the hell was that one guy's name?
Smokey.
No, but the other guy, though.
I don't remember, man.
Jesus Christ.
I'm very lucky I remember this story.
Well, we were sitting at the bar and guys were like, are you guys Rangers?
Yeah, it's Tiki Stovellio.
Yeah, yeah.
Just to say that, Tiki pretended he was a ranger.
Well, we were right, you know, Vista, California, right next to that.
Yeah, we were like Marines, though.
Yeah, yeah.
Early Rangers.
Well, there were a lot of Marines there.
Navy Shield, you'd probably think.
Us two degenerates.
You guys like, are you guys Rangers?
All right, so we go down to this bar.
Oh, that's right.
No, he was Smokey.
Yeah, Smokey.
That's what I'm saying.
This guy's Smokey in a wheelchair.
And we were drinking with him all night, having a good time.
And where the fuck was that at, Vista?
Yeah, a big shit ton of big Samoans, too.
Yeah, well, big Samoans.
Yeah, I forgot about that.
Yeah, there was.
That was like a dirtbag bar in Vista.
It was right by now.
JoJo, these Samoans, they would eat you for breakfast.
They were so big.
Two or three of them.
Oh, now you're tough.
Hopefully this doesn't get the New Zealand.
Yeah, well, they were cool.
And if it does, Larry Jones.
It gets the New Zealand, nothing's going to happen because it's in Samoa.
Where's Samoa?
It's an island out there somewhere by Fiji.
Yeah, New Zealand, Fiji, all that shit.
Whatever, fuck out with the gloves, man.
So we're drinking at this bar.
We go outside to have a cigarette and this guy in a wheelchair starts harassing me.
And fucking.
He's in a wheelchair.
That's funny.
I'm being like real brutal, you know what I mean, because I'm sober at this point in time.
And this guy, Smoky's fucked up.
Yeah, I mean, I'm completely sober.
Smoky's in the wheelchair?
Smoky's in the wheelchair.
This story's taking a long time.
Well, Smoky jumped at me and I kicked him in the chest.
Yeah, outside.
Literally in front of like 20 feet.
So what?
He didn't need the wheelchair.
See, you didn't see that coming, asshole.
Fuck you.
Well, no, I mean, right when he got up, he kicked him right back down.
I was in the wheelchair.
Dude, what do I look like?
Jesus, I don't know.
Yeah.
We didn't ask.
I'm just a dude.
We didn't ask.
He just put him back in it.
But then the thing was, I'm like, holy fuck.
All these Simone guys, they were buddies with Smoky.
Oh.
Fuck.
Once these Simone guys find out Smoky just got his ass kicked back into his wheelchair,
I'm like, we're going to get kicked across the bar.
But luckily, like, oh man, don't worry, that Smoky's just fucking stupid sometimes.
And they were cool about it.
It's like, you're going to get a kick Smoky?
And they, oh my God, thank God.
Oh, man.
Yeah, we got lucky.
Of course.
That's what I thought you would say too.
He's the underdog.
Yeah.
The three-year-old.
Oh.
Yeah.
Poor Smoky.
So Smoky's just fucking cruising around in a wheelchair.
He's kicking the ass.
Dude, that guy's dead.
Why?
All right, he's Smoky.
Yeah.
He's dead, dude.
Yeah.
Shit, that was, yeah, because that was good 15 years ago, maybe.
Yeah, that guy's dead.
And he probably only had a good another two years.
Dude, I had three weeks left when we saw him.
Yeah.
If I kicked him in the chest, he was lucky he had a week.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
What the hell was the name of that bar?
That was a good bar.
Dude, the guy's a fucking half off drinks.
Oh, man, I should have hit better.
Yeah, that was a good bar, man.
Oh, it was a good Vista.
I got a good game for you to play.
So I'm going to ask you a question and I want within your mileage, within the center here,
this is the center, your mileage all the way around.
How far do you think a brothel is from Jojo's house?
I'm guessing there's probably a massage parlor right by the train station.
Not a massage parlor.
A brothel?
A brothel.
Who whores it, fuck.
Oh, thanks, Jojo.
I'm going to clarify.
Just for Spanish people.
They're not bad either.
Really?
They're actually good looking.
How do you know?
Well, what the fuck?
This is all secondhand or friend deals are told you.
This is right down the street.
Spill the beans here.
Huh?
Spill the beans.
Where's this place at?
How far do you think?
Two miles.
Not even close to it.
No, well, this is not the dog.
Jesus.
You play the game, you asshole.
You make a guess, you don't say close.
Is it in the house?
No, it's in the house, man.
Yeah, it's Jojo.
Fucking Larry's though.
Well, that's the problem.
No, he gets a run on a train out.
I'll pass.
Eiffel Tower Larry.
Dude, it's fucking half a mile.
Fuck.
I can have a block from here.
How do you know this?
Fuck.
I know where it's at, man.
Some good looking bras there, too.
It's like a brothel you could come and go.
All kinds.
Can you like hang out?
This is the married guy, you know, that's what's going on.
Yeah.
Mary the Larry.
This is his new corner.
I always find out about these places like before it's too late.
And then, oh yeah, I got my stuff.
Man, this place was the best thing you can do yesterday.
Yeah.
You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a massage parlor, but...
Oh, literally we could walk there.
Isn't that funny?
Oh, what are we doing?
We were talking.
We said what we were doing later.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, go.
Yeah.
But that's okay.
Larry, you can watch.
I know that's what you get into.
Okay.
I can watch you.
You can watch me do what?
You can do a podcast there.
Ask him if you can do a podcast there.
I don't know.
Do a podcast there.
I don't know.
What are you going to do?
I'm sorry.
There's all varieties, too?
No, it's not that big of a whorehouse.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
Tell the gattelitos.
Does it have like a mom barker or something?
What's that?
A barker who's like the mama son.
You got to call someone and then let you in.
And then that's how it goes.
I mean, is there a place where you can sit at a party?
Do what you want to do.
No.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
It's just an office building.
It's an office building.
Oh, man.
So you're in and out kind of deal?
Yeah.
It's kind of one of those things.
I'm fine with.
I mean, no, you got to appreciate that, right?
Yeah.
I was going to say, hey, they're trying.
People are working out.
They're going to start somewhere.
Yeah.
You're not even going to your clip or walk.
Yeah.
Well, I was hoping it was like one of those, you know, old 60 or 50, like, or maybe it
was at early, like, you know, 1900 movies, like the 50s where you walk into play.
Oh, hey, how you doing?
No.
You hang out.
Nothing's like that.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Like a dream, right?
Sounds like cheers.
It's not like a horror.
Hey, I've been to Brazil.
Hey, Kiki.
That's how they do it out there.
Just calling some ladies suckers.
Hey, Kiki.
Hey, ladies suck-in' some dude off right here.
Well, like, Thailand.
Some ladies do it.
I know you go into play, to like the mama sons.
Like 확.
Like, clmel, walk-out country.
Oh, f**k, country?
Well, you see this?
Yeah, that's amazing, baby.
We have to fucking be ashamed to pay for sex.
So, it's just starting off.
Yeah.
They're just in there first, uh, beginning.
I mean, we all agree, f**k, and we should just have a whore house somewhere, right?
It would just stress.
Well, yeah, it'd be nice if you could sit there party, do whatever.
Well, I mean, now you're talking about some fucking thing.
Motel shit.
This isn't like you just go hang out with someone somewhere.
So we're fucking in the same sheets the dude before me just fucked up.
Now they got one of those paper rolls like the doctor.
They just pull it and tear it off.
Maybe hopefully they sprayed the sides with some sort of salt or something.
You get a fat guy, you get the butt cheeks on the outside.
You don't got butthole, but you still got cheek, you know what I mean?
Just don't roll off the edge.
Well, I mean, if you're a pro, I don't think they're going to roll off the edge.
Well, the weird thing is, you got that crinkling all the time with that paper.
The sound of that shit dude.
It's just as good as fucking a bubble popping shit.
Gonna ask her to check my prostate when I'm on that shit.
Jesus Christ.
Feel like I'm at the doctor's office.
You get jealous.
You're like, well, you're down there.
You came here for cold meds.
You want to give your pants off?
I'm the pediatrician doctor.
If she's going to toss this salad, she may as well mix this.
I mean, it's kind of racist.
Racist.
How's that racist?
No, I know.
This road is racist.
Sounds like a good time to me.
I mean, I was implying she was Asian.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, toss over a salad.
Yeah.
Toss over a salad.
Toss a salad.
Fever.
I just do those.
I just saw like a YouTube, I don't have a YouTube Instagram clip,
Wheel of Fortune.
Oh, fuck.
I can't remember what the name of it was, but the guy guessed like new bitch summer or something
and the patch say, Jack's like, oh, that's it folks.
Sorry, we got to go.
But he said fucking new bitch or new bitch's summer or something like something weird.
The guy guessed and he's like, why would you think it'd be bitches?
Two people are going to love this Kiki just made a reference.
I can't even repeat it.
I can't even think of how.
I think it was.
Something about bitches.
This is the greatest thing ever.
Remind me in a South Park where he's like people that annoy you.
Yeah.
And it was in.
Niggers.
Yeah.
The black guy from the camera looks at peaks about.
We might have to blur Kiki out for saying that.
Oh, fuck.
Can't black out nothing.
You can.
Sound of a good drink.
Right into the microphone.
This guy's like fucking the Martin over.
Yeah.
Everybody needs to know Kiki's drink.
Larry.
Yes.
Why are you so quiet over there?
I mean, you have your bowl of M&Ms, a PBR and a water.
Oh, there's M&Ms over there?
Yeah, you want M&Ms?
Yeah, I want M&Ms.
Because this is so great.
That's what's great about it.
It's your blood sugar.
Well, it's great.
We live in my mom's place now.
She's like the old lady with candy jars.
And like every season it changes.
The M&Ms change.
Man, she's like chumming you.
Dude, oh yeah.
She's getting you fat for winter.
Dude, that's why I gained like 16 pounds in the first week.
I don't even need to hear her.
She kisses anymore because now she buys the good shit.
Yeah.
Dove chocolate and all that.
You're like Larry.
Larry's a sugar baby.
Oh, man.
So Larry gets the fat enough for winter.
So that's why she buys them all.
I think he's a little late though.
No, no, no, he's still going.
Yeah.
Larry's got pimp green.
Dude, do some M&Ms right there, brother.
Talk about eating.
Do you want some?
I'll be grabbing some in a few.
I mean, you might as well get a mouthful.
I just ate a Lumol Nani's pizza with...
By yourself?
Not by myself.
But you know, it was the deep dish, but it had the Talian beef on there.
With Jarn there.
Oh, boy, that shit was good.
I may have to take a break in a few minutes, but it was good.
Dude, how much of this pizza did you eat?
Just a couple slices.
Can't tell.
Yeah.
That's all I can handle.
I mean, I'm sure you can handle it.
It's all I want to.
Man, what do you think about...
The juice?
I wrote these.
Yeah, I wrote these.
You can go all day about this, but man, we're going to have a lot of train horn isn't here,
JoJo?
Yeah, I was just making a joke, making a joke.
JoJo, current state of the world, you know you're a leftist.
Yeah, I don't know.
It doesn't really matter.
What does it matter?
We're fucked.
Yeah, we're fucked.
Who is?
That's why I got guns.
The world.
We're going to hell in a handbasket.
Why is that?
Current state.
Well, tell me why.
I mean, you just can't fucking make a broad statement in front of my friend here.
Yeah.
And then be like, oh, we're going to hell in a handbasket.
Yeah, we're in the same thing.
As you sit here with a nice, fat joint.
Yeah, I don't know.
And a PBR, a water, and M&M's.
In a brothel, within a walking distance.
You know.
You had to throw it out of there.
It's the vibe that everybody's putting out.
It's not good.
What vibe is that?
Negativity and shit.
How's that?
It's out there.
I mean, what do you mean?
How's that?
What are you talking about?
I mean, what aspect am I asking?
I don't know.
I guess it's fine.
That's fine.
I mean, what do you want to say?
It doesn't help me out.
He's going to be like, I don't know.
I don't know what to tell you.
I don't know what's going on.
I want to get into the brain of Larry if we're going to do it.
Yeah, I don't even know what's going on, man.
And Larry is just stretching his neck out.
What did Sam Kinnison say, back and back to school?
We were talking to Ronnie Dangerfield about Vietnam?
Oh, wow.
Man, we're all about butchering fucking...
I'm not good at regurgitating that shit.
No, either or am I.
But Larry is high as fuck right now.
I hate to say that.
Okay, the mushrooms have kicked in for Larry and Larry is checked out.
Larry has turned into...
Hey, Larry.
He's turned into Larry.
I mean, what?
I should have to address my co-host.
And then you get back to me and they'll...
I know, man.
What, Larry?
He's now Larry, he's his eye, dude.
He's got a Chinese eye.
Larry.
He's smoking a cigarette.
I know, but the guy's just sitting there.
How's it going, kiddo?
Great, man.
We'll talk a little bit more.
You just can't sit there.
It's the Larry and Needle show.
That was it.
I said it all right there.
It's a clip right there.
It's our intro.
Dude, you need that much mushrooms.
Man, this episode man is going to be very...
I don't know what to say.
You were like, I'll take over.
I have it, I have it.
I thought you had a lot of shit planned.
Waiting for something to happen.
That's all.
Waiting for something to happen.
I'm still waiting to hear about these brothels.
Take two.
All right, here we are at Larry and Needle's show.
We got Kiki today.
It's going on.
Motherfuckers, how's it going?
Thanks, Larry, for joining us.
I really appreciate it.
These motherfuckers are boring.
Oh my god, man.
What's that shirt say?
Walk me.
Hug like.
I love it, dude.
And you know what we were kidding.
I love animals.
Larry, thank you for joining us.
And how are you feeling?
Oh man, this is some boring shit.
Let's talk about something that's funnier.
Okay, well then...
At the state of the world, the world is fucked.
Yeah, that's all depressing shit.
Yeah, I'm thinking about it and you're saying,
what's the state of the world and I'm thinking, man...
How about this?
I mean, for me it's okay, I guess.
They would make an ass car more exciting.
Ass car?
Yeah.
What if we threw a baby out on the track?
That would make it more interesting for sure.
For a few minutes.
And see what happens.
It would be interesting for the...
See if it can crawl off in time?
Well, I mean, that's not going to happen at all.
Well, I mean, it might.
You put him on right as the last car passes.
Yeah.
You gotta do baby to time ratio.
Yeah, he's gonna get run over all the way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, is it an orphan baby?
What kind of baby is it?
No, no, no, we can give it some...
No, man, somebody's gotta know the baby.
It's gotta be somebody's baby.
We didn't even think about that.
Now you're bringing in real shit.
I mean, it's gotta be a crying mother or shit.
Why?
Well, you gotta give the baby a chance.
How about this?
He's parents rather than someone's gotta know the baby.
Yeah, how did this baby get tossed on that?
They were driving one of the cars at gunpoint.
Who is?
The parents.
Draven, what car?
Well, the NASCAR.
What the fuck, man?
What the fuck are you?
I'm the NASCAR.
What are we talking about?
I don't know.
You guys are fucking gaslighting me?
Can't talk about babies going out.
Can't talk about babies dying.
Are you crying or what?
Okay, what's wrong with you?
Are you nuts?
Yeah.
Well, that goes without saying.
Oh, fuck.
Holy shit.
What's wrong, Larry?
Oh, dude, Christina Aguilera, she was hot in back then.
Yeah, she was, man.
I like the Trover one.
Oh, yeah.
I'd be licking that butt.
Yeah.
But, you know, she's a fucking satanic whore.
Oh, my God.
She is.
She's part of that cult, man.
Fucking cunt.
I mean, I like her.
If I met her, I'd be polite to her.
And, you know, she wouldn't want probably anything to do with me,
but I could accept that.
But, yeah, she's, you know, she gave up her fucking soul.
Yeah, she's part of that.
Part of that deal.
Yeah, she has said, you know.
You really think that?
I know.
I mean, come on, man.
No, people don't believe it.
You really think that?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Dude, Hollywood is fucked.
It is satanic.
Yeah, I would give up my soul for a bunch of shit.
Why would you do that, man?
Not worth it.
Because that's what I want.
That's it.
But life isn't that long.
It's not long enough.
Dude, yeah, I don't give a fuck.
Dude, you're going with a short payout.
If life isn't that long, then why do I care?
Because, well, you don't know what's after it.
You're turning me into a long time, brother.
It's forever.
Listen, man, I'm fucking, I'm here to fucking...
For a good time, not a long time.
Well, but then that long time may turn into a bad time.
You may be getting fucking balls dipped on your forehead for 24-7.
I mean, hey, did I have a good time before that?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
You may be thinking that for the first time.
Sounds like a real good time.
It's like a true fool.
I mean, you're just like, someone's sticking a hot fire poker in your asshole while two
guys put dicks in your mouth.
That's pretty bad.
That doesn't sound too good.
You guys are like, oh, something about the nuts.
It gets worse from there, man.
Well, it starts off with the nuts, yeah.
It gets worse from there.
That's really stark.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Dude.
It's one time.
You think it's a joke.
I smoke one joint, and then the next time I smoke two joints and then three joints.
And in the Lyrage case, four wieners down in Boys Town.
It's just like that.
The next thing you know, you got a dick addiction.
And it happens.
This guy's out here with a hot-off shirt.
It happens, man.
And then you're still out there.
Next thing you know, you're roller skating in a circle.
And you're fucking doing this thing.
I'm Larry.
I'm scary.
Next thing you know, you got fucking roller skates and fucking gym shorts on.
And you're loving it.
Yeah.
And you're loving it.
And fucking...
Man.
And the devils laugh at it.
And that's just the beginning, though, man.
It gets so much worse.
It's way beyond fucking roller skates in Boys Town, dude.
It's fucking bad.
Dude, you know what?
You think it's a fucking joke, man.
It's fucking bad.
I don't want you to go to hell.
I love you, you know, but you're gonna fucking burn, dude.
Who's gonna burn?
He thinks I'm fucking...
You know what I'm saying, right?
Dude, why do you think they're trying to get rid of religion?
Yeah.
They're pushing that shit.
They want to get rid of it.
Exactly.
See this separate state from church?
Oh, man.
Everything behind this thing.
You need church, man.
You need it.
Why do you need church?
You need state.
You got it, dude.
Oh.
Well, no.
You're gonna have state and church at the same time.
Right.
But you believe in God so much.
It's not how much.
It's if or not.
Do you think that...
Yeah, I'm spiritual, right?
Okay, I got it for you, though.
Do you think that when you die that this is it?
You just go on the ground and that's it?
You're fucking done?
I don't know.
Do you really need to think the honest?
Well, if you don't know, wouldn't you want to...
But that's the whole thing.
We're conscious.
We have...
They have fucking...
Exactly.
That's the thing.
We are supposed to think like that.
Would you rather be one-dimensional and be like,
nope, that's it?
Come on.
That's how everyone lives, man.
They live like it's fucking...
It doesn't matter, you know?
Well, that's how everybody should live,
because you know what?
Listen, you could have been born in Nigeria or Africa
or fucking one of these fucking...
But still, what's in your heart is what's in your heart, man.
It doesn't matter where you're born.
Until your Ugandan warlord tries to rape your asshole
and puts you on an AK-47 and shoots you up.
Again, what's in your heart is what's in your heart.
But that's what keeps you alive is hoping for the better.
See, what he said, that's what keeps you alive.
What keeps you alive is more prevalent than anything in this world.
But I don't believe in their something else out there.
Dude, people have been tortured and raped and murdered.
Not even murdered, should I say,
maimed to the extent where they...
Well, murdered too.
Well, but to the extent where they can come back from
and tell their story.
You know what I mean?
And it's all the same thing.
What's the same thing?
It's all about power, all about brainwashing,
all about mind control.
Huh.
You don't believe that?
No.
I think it's, man.
What it is, is it's all about,
is there a being bigger than what we are?
And that's the whole thing that the government right now
wants to squash the fucking church because...
100 percent.
They don't want you to fucking have something bigger
and better than what they are.
They are.
They want to be the Be'al Endall.
They want to fucking be the one that is what you look up to.
You want to look to them for every answer.
They want you to rely on them.
Yes.
They don't want you to be able to turn to God.
They don't want that, man.
And that's why they make you...
Yeah, but that's why you have free will.
And that's why they put it in your head.
Free will.
No, right.
Free will.
Yes, yes.
Amen.
Free will.
But that's why they put it in your head.
Like, oh, you know, it's a joke and ha ha ha.
And it's easy to fucking laugh at somebody.
They're an idiot for believing something.
It's like believing in Santa Claus, going on and on.
You know, you can say all that shit.
But if you fucking think that this is like, you're the shit, man.
You're fucking wrong, dude.
Who said that?
But no, I don't think I'm the shit.
No, but it's the same thing like put to his point.
That's why they're pushing all this transgender.
Yes, yes.
Because they, yeah, it's against religion.
Exactly.
Everything.
They want to pervert every belief that they possibly can.
Oh, yeah.
They want to twist everything.
You guys are talking crazy.
No, no, no, man.
It's not true.
It's what's going on.
It is.
It's what's going on, man.
It is.
And they want to fucking have guys like you fucking reading Reddit and all this bullshit.
They know what's going on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, I'm putting you in a bag now, motherfucker.
And, and, you know, it's again, make it, make it into a joke.
Oh, you really think that Madonna fucking worships the devil and drinks baby blood?
You're fucking right, I think so.
But it makes it so crazy.
This guy's on your side.
I agree with that.
But it's so crazy that it's very easy.
Oh, come on.
You're fucking nuts.
And that's why they say, you know, the thing is though, too, they say that shit out loud
because they believe in karma hardcore.
And so they tell me.
Who believes in karma?
All these sociopaths and government, all these people, they believe in karma.
So they tell, they tell you what they're going to do.
Do you believe in karma?
100%.
Yeah.
They tell you what they're going to do.
They broadcast their fucking moves.
So they can be like, well, we told you, well, we told you.
But yeah, that's what they do.
But they gotta find someone to blame.
You blame karma.
Let's blame karma.
No, no, no, they blame you.
They blame you because they told you.
New t-shirts coming out.
We told you.
Needles blames karma.
Needles.
Where are you going, dude?
Oh my God, man.
Hey, while you're up there, bring some booze down.
Larry.
Okay.
Ditos.
Now he's right though.
Dude, there's fucking all that shit, dude.
Dude, Hollywood is fucked up.
Look at all this shit.
I don't care though.
That's a problem.
Well, but it's not about caring or not.
It's what they're doing.
Dude, all these motherfuckers are selling their soul.
I mean, dude, it's a conspiracy until it comes true.
Give it six months and it comes true.
It's like, oh, shit.
Man, we might have found our third chair.
So you know.
Dude, don't talk about like Alice Jones or shit.
You're conspiracy corner with Kiki.
Dude, it's a conspiracy.
It's not it.
It's a tweet.
Until it's true.
Exactly the way it ended.
I know, but it's months.
I told you this.
Noah was the fucking biggest conspiracy theorist in the world until it fucking flooded.
Right?
And then everyone was like, man, Noah, let me on your boat.
Yeah.
Motherfucker.
That's how it is.
Man, you are.
Sorry.
I can't believe you.
I mean, dude, what proof do you have of this?
What fucking thing?
What proof do you have?
Name any conspiracy theory from last year.
Jojo.
Name one thing from last year that everyone said was a conspiracy theory.
Yeah, COVID, the wolf.
Every single fucking thing came true.
Man, what do we talk about?
Every last fucking thing.
That's what it was.
Well, look, it's we're talking about the whole Hollywood shit.
The Hollywood elite, they fucking, they're all demo worshipers, dude.
They all sell their soul.
Oh, man.
Here's the thing.
Look at her.
She's selling her ass, babe.
What are you talking about?
You know, the other thing, do you ever see a lot of these fuckers, like you and Beyonce,
like they do that fucking sign?
That symbol?
Yeah.
It's like the Illuminati shit.
Why are they all doing the same symbol?
Why are they all doing that shit?
It's like when a fucking old, old lady fucking Catholic Italian lady does the sign of the
cross, man.
Yeah, it's because that's what they're cross, baby.
Exactly.
No, that's a good point.
That's their cross.
That's exactly what it is.
And you see them all.
You can find pictures of Jay-Z, Katy Perry, Beyonce, and they all do this shit.
Yeah.
What is it?
On the big stages.
What does it mean?
It's like the Illuminati.
It's like the all seeing eyes.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Like the dollar bill.
Yeah.
The what?
On the dollar bill.
The all seeing eye.
People do that in public?
Yeah.
Well, dude, they do it all these fucking night.
Well, the thing is too, like you don't watch all these shows.
Like, you know, guys.
I don't watch anything.
I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about.
Every single movie star.
Katy Perry fucking.
Wait, what'd you say?
Every what?
Every pop star, every movie star, every Hollywood person.
The other thing too.
Wait a second.
With that one eye covered means a blind eye to pedophilia.
Yeah, this is like Lady Gaga.
Allegedly.
What's he saying?
Allegedly.
I fucking stand wherever comes out of Kiki's mouth if he likes it.
Let me say something.
I'm with Larry.
I'm in the airwaves right now and I'm saying I'm wearing Jones and everything I say.
I don't give a fuck.
I stay behind everything.
He just made a wise crack edge.
And me too.
Like that.
I watched.
Yeah, I almost threw that up.
But no, I'm with him on that.
Dude, did you see that shit with Lady Gaga?
Was playing the fucking piano or something?
And then Broad was sitting there fucking making herself throw up on her.
Did you see that?
No, I didn't.
I was just fucking threw up on Lady Gaga when she was fucking playing.
Oh my God.
I was like, is this real?
Is this really Lady Gaga?
That's some sick shit.
She let her throw up on her?
Dude, it was like for a...
It was for a performance.
Yeah, it was like not to optimize.
It was televised.
Yeah.
And then this Broad sitting there fucking sticking her fingers down on her throat, trying to
throw up.
And Lady Gaga was sitting there like, give it to me.
Dude, look, that's shit up.
I was like, this is Lady Gaga.
What the fuck?
Sick devils.
Dude, she's hardcore.
She's like going off the deep end with the shit.
Jesus, Larry.
They're fucking devils, man.
I mean, I'm casual about a lot of shit, man, but not that.
I'm fucking against evil.
What do you mean you're against evil?
I don't like evil, man.
What's evil considered to you?
Well, evil to me was like, well, one time we were playing...
What is it?
It's anything that's not good and it's for bad.
Anything that's got malice.
Dude, we are surrounded by evil right now.
I'm definitely...
That doesn't mean you got to be evil.
I'm not evil.
But here's the thing, too.
If you were surrounded by evil, there's got to be an opposite to evil.
That's where people are like, oh, there can't be a guy.
There can't be a guy.
Look at all this bad shit going on.
It's like, no, listen.
There's got to be a guy.
There's got to be.
Because there's always a balance to yin and yang.
And with all this evil around, what's that telling you?
That there's a lot of men.
There's a lot of good, man.
Well, the thing is, though, but there's a lot of evil going on right now.
So there's not a lot of good going on.
We need more good going on because everybody's going to the dark side because they're following
this fucking Hollywood bullshit.
They all want to be fucking YouTube stars and stuff.
Yeah, and I'm just saying, well, that's the easy way out.
Well, but that's the problem.
That's the easy way out.
They're afraid of fucking hard girls.
Listen, if they were like, hey, if you fucking are a hot fucking girl, what do you want to do?
Oh, I'd be some of my asses only fans in a heartbeat.
Dude, I would fuck for air if I needed to.
You know what I mean?
If I was a chick, dude?
Oh, my God.
I'd have the most air that anybody would have.
Again.
I'd have air canisters lined up.
Dude, I'd be like space balls.
I'd have containerships full of that shit.
I'd be slinging my pussy all around the galaxy if I could.
So Niels is going to be slanging his pussy around the galaxy.
Niels would give this pussy up in space if I was a space alien broad.
I'd be doing it all the crazies.
Except the air would say.
I mean, dude, I'd be doing it like.
I'd do it like nine guy sex, maybe a dog involved.
I mean, if you get a goat in space, maybe.
Depends on the air.
I mean, I don't know what you want to do with it after.
You got to kind of eat it.
You know, short on meat.
You can Schwurma.
There you go.
Schwurma.
This guy's got a halal idea.
Go Schwurma.
He's got the halal.
You should run a halal car.
Space.
Space halal.
Where's the fucking wife, Peter?
I can fucking, I can fucking shit off.
Oh, I like it.
Dude.
Oh, poor, poor needles.
What the fuck does that?
It's going to hell.
Oh, man.
It's going to be hot.
Yeah, it is.
You're going to be wearing these wife's.
I'm the only fucking sinner in this circle.
We're all sinners.
Yeah, well, why are my sins worse than yours?
Well, we don't want to sell our souls.
We're not selling our souls.
Oh, my soul right now.
That's why you're going to be fucking burnt.
Nobody is sin-free, man.
That's why he said, man, hey, he who is without sin
casts the first stone when they want to stone that bitch.
Oh, man, I wish I had a rock.
But no one can catch.
I can belt you right in the gut.
You fucking idiot.
He's a fucking idiot.
Oh, what an idiot.
I'll pray for you.
Fucking Mar-Eye.
Good job, Mikey.
Oh.
Four needles is going to hell.
There we go again.
Hell in the hand, basket.
Yeah, well, how bad is hell, do you think?
Fuck, dude.
It's fucking beyond belief.
I mean, it's beyond fucking belief.
Dude, first off, you're sitting on a spike.
Your spike's going right up the asshole.
That's pretty sweet.
No, no, no.
Oh, OK, yeah.
It's so hot.
That really sucks right there.
It's metaphorically, yeah, it's as bad as it gets.
Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, if you think there's a heaven in
the hell, we're all idiots, right?
No, man, that's what they want you to think.
That's what the fucking major, that's what the general
consensus is.
If you believe in heaven in hell, you're an idiot.
But that is the truth is that obviously the whole world
can't be, you know, man, it's just fucking check.
They're playing on everybody.
I can't even put it in words because I'm not doing any fucking
drugs right now.
But get it out, Larry.
But you know what I'm trying?
You know what I'm saying, Keith?
I know exactly what you're saying.
I'm asking you.
It's the trick.
It's the trick they play on everybody.
Heaven in hell is fake.
Therefore, you ignore it.
And then that do it everyone.
When you find out it's real and it's too late, you're in hell,
baby.
Yeah.
It's too fucking late.
And there's no, oh, I'm sorry.
I want to go back.
It's too fucking late.
Anywhere but hell.
That's what you'll be.
What if this is hell?
The same hell.
This is beautiful.
How do you know?
Yeah, I was just saying, dude, look at me.
This is the only thing you know.
Like this is what she knows.
You know, with fucking.
Maybe that's all the diction in your mouth and dogs.
There's a brothel within walking distance.
Yeah, man, they shouldn't have told you that.
This is happening.
It was my fault.
This is great.
But this isn't happening.
It's great as it is, man.
No, there's always got to be bad to equal out the good just to make you realize how good things can be.
Exactly.
Well, I mean, when you go downtown, you're like, hey, I ain't that bad.
Some motherfucker on the street jerking off.
Exactly.
I mean, there are certain fucking standards.
Well, fuck, dude, I mean, you know, even though I am no better than anyone,
we have standards in our own lives that have raised risen and fallen.
We have our own standards in our own lives that have risen and fallen.
You know, just because you did bad things doesn't make you a bad person.
If you realize you're doing bad shit, you're trying.
You want to fucking repent and you repent.
You know, if you're a fucking murderer and you say, God, forgive me, I want to repent, he'll forgive you.
If you stop fucking murdering people and you really repent and you really mean it,
if you really mean it, if you fucking mean it, you can't be forgiven.
He knows what's in your heart.
That's all I'm saying, man.
Dude, speaking of hell, dude, you lived in Tijuana.
Yeah.
Even that's...
How would you like to be the war that's fucking strung out on dope that's got to fuck all day?
Yeah.
And a couple of dogs tossed into the side.
Just because those guys are assholes, I want to see your fucking dog.
Like that, you're a joke.
Very silly.
And so, you know, and that's bad and that ain't even hell, yeah.
And it's like you think that can do that.
We live in America.
What's the hell?
I've been all over the world, like, dude, you talk about hell.
Third World Country is made of wood.
I mean, when you start traveling to these places, you see what's going on.
Then you get to see what life is really like.
Yeah.
The majority of people, man.
Holy shit.
Yeah, that's some scary shit.
And that's what's a bad thing about what's going on now.
Here's like when...
Back to the original question, the state of the world, right?
Everybody fucking hates the United States.
I'll tell you, I've been in a band.
I fucking toured around the world.
I've been everywhere.
We have it fucking made here.
I need these crybabies that fucking say they don't like it, man.
Fucking go any other country.
And even Germany that's fully developed sucks balls compared to the USA.
Every other fucking place.
Dude, the Berlin Wall just came down to it, like 81.
89.
Or 89.
Dude, I mean, dude, that's fucking crazy.
I've been there to that exact point, man, and these people are...
Hey, kiss the dude over there.
Yeah, kiss the dude.
He was great.
He spoke seven languages.
And he fucking gave Palatio in four languages.
He was a great kisser.
My dear frog.
Fransley.
I think this is...
Shit.
Dude, like, what else are you talking about?
This world, they want everybody to agree.
People think that it sucks here.
First of all, we know it doesn't suck here because look at what we're doing right now.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
We appreciate it.
I'm hung.
Us three in this room right now appreciate it.
It's because you had a wife beat around it snowing outside.
Life's good.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Life's good?
That's it.
Life's good and everyone's crying.
But our government wants us to turn into green and all have fucking solar cars.
You have all these kids in fucking Africa barefoot, minding for fucking cold balls.
Well, then go over there and build up some shit.
Build up some shit.
Oh, it's the good thing to do.
No, it's not.
You see these four kids going to fucking do it.
And every single thing you touch every day has a ripple effect towards something.
Yeah.
That's what life is.
No matter what you do.
This is not a ripple effect.
This is more of a pounding effect.
What do you mean a pounding effect?
The full of all minds and they need fucking precious metals.
Dude, have you ever fucking seen what's causing it?
See, you're feeding it to the fucking political bullshit.
Oh, yeah.
It's not that bad.
I don't care.
But that's the problem.
You should.
No, I shouldn't.
I should be able to feel what I...
Don't tell me what to do with it.
You need to go to Africa and visit the children.
You see this flag here?
Come here and get me.
You should go dig.
Good luck.
You should go free speech behind there.
Shoulder to shoulder with those fucking kids and...
Yeah, I'll take you on too on this side, baby.
Stars and stripes.
Hey, you know, every time you do that, Jack,
you're making noise on the fucking mic.
You're a commie fuck.
Idiot.
You're a commie fuck.
What an idiot.
God bless him.
Easy over there.
Fuck these.
No, I love this idiot.
And dumbass.
Shut up.
It's hilarious.
It's a fucking dummy.
Oh, jeez.
Fuck, man.
Where's my groucho dummy?
You need to get your puppet out.
You need to have like a poking stick where you can poke it from the ceiling.
Yeah.
It's gonna poke it up.
Dude, I need a flamethrower.
Fuck.
I need a flamethrower.
Actually, I need a fucking whatever.
You know what?
It's good.
I love it.
It's much more powerful.
But it's not.
Not that.
Very silly.
I like browsles.
Yeah.
That's a weird thing to say.
You've been answering him?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Couple tucks.
I mean, look at the guy.
He's been to Thailand, too.
Thailand, Brazil, all over Asia.
Yeah, nose busted in fucking Brazil, eh?
Yeah, you're gonna jump by three guys.
Well, I have to beat the dude's ass in the bar, but...
Right in front of Beaver, too.
Sweet.
He should edit out Beaver, that'd be funny.
Yeah, all right.
Well, he was actually saving his ass.
He was about to get a bottle busted over his head.
If I would've done him good.
Yeah, but...
Then I get blamed for the shit.
You get blamed for it.
Him coming over the body bag.
But I stopped the guy, and then another guy came up to me and started a fight with me.
And a fucking body slam him through there, like those marble tables.
Fuck that, I'm a girl.
Got a couple fucking punches off on his face.
Guys pulled me off, but then that's when I took off out of there.
I wasn't gonna wait for the cops to fucking die.
But then on my way back, I got him and two of his buddies.
I didn't fucking get a busted nose.
It wasn't too bad.
Busted nose in Brazil.
It's a t-shirt.
You know what, I went to Brazil and I was like, how was this busted, too?
I fucking came home with a lot worse than that.
Still a pull-off.
He's all sunburned and shit.
Look at that.
He's got that red from going to Florida.
I'm gonna show you.
We'll do it.
It was six hours.
You think that was sun-resistant or something?
No, six hours in the fucking...
Well, dude, it was electric bikes.
Do you ever ride one of those electric bikes?
No, yeah, my brother has one.
Dude, brother has one.
He's got two actually.
Dude, I was barefoot in short shorts.
I love him.
This guy's totally got a scooter.
I know what you're talking about.
Dude, those things are a blast.
Also, I love dude, I'm fucking naked on a fucking scooter.
Hangs out the manhole.
And then swimming chunks, my balls are swinging in the wind.
I'm loving it.
He's for fear.
He goes down to the manhole and just hangs out.
Yeah, you know, all the boys love the scooter.
The silky pole.
All the boys love it.
Yeah, the silky pole, especially they love it there.
That's your gang name, the stage name.
The silky pole.
Yeah.
The silky pole.
Dude, that's great.
Like purple satin jackets.
Yeah, okay, we'll buy you that if that's what you want.
No, that's your gang name.
Satin jackets.
I don't know how you get jumped into that gang if you know what I mean.
You get sucked into that gang.
I got sucked in.
JoJo has to talk to you in the back room.
Or Larry has to talk to you in the back room.
He wants it up, you know, to smoke some weed.
Dude, who is that woman right there to nurse Elfanon?
I mean, she's a famous...
Betty Page.
I think it's Blink 182, no, Betty Page.
No, she's a...
It's Betty Page.
Don't listen to this fucking moron.
You're a fucking asshole.
You're a fanook.
Oh, my God.
Tiki, did you order the drink, bro?
Rock, kill, bro?
Yeah, I do.
I need some ice.
I need to take a piss, too.
All right, cool.
Where are we at?
Where do we take us?
JoJo?
Larry?
What a bunch of pussies.
Take him and break some?
Larry, you just went up and pissed, dude, in the middle of the...
No, I didn't know he got a drink.
Dude.
I didn't give up to piss.
He did get a drink.
I'll give him a drink.
No, I mean, what are you, a fucking camel?
We got three minutes still.
Look, that's fine.
You just end it there, Larry.
You would have to be fucking...
That's stringent.
All right, man.
Needles is a fucking idiot.
We all knew that.
No.
Thanks for tuning in.
You don't have to leave if we can fucking hang out for a little longer.
Thanks for tuning in.
I'll get another drink.
This is Larry and Needles' show.
I'm not saying we're gonna fucking come back.
And we had Kiki tonight.
God damn, I love tea, man.
And we love you guys out there.
Thank you very much.
I love this guy.
Dude, you guys gotta do this shit all the time.
Yeah, well, man, oh, shit, my drink's still...
Fucking moron.
I thought you kicked over an empty drink.
No, I didn't.
God damn it.
Fucking Skagnutty.
Yeah, that's my fault.
Skagnutty on Skagnutty.
Dude.
Dude, you see him?
He died.
Yeah, Seismore.
Seismore, baby, at an aneurysm.
Right?
How fucking crazy is that shit?
Not crazy at all, man.