WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.180 Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles Show. 00:00:15.919 --> 00:00:19.300 Alright, hey everybody. Welcome to the Larry 00:00:19.300 --> 00:00:22.839 and Needles Show. I'm Larry. And I am Needles. 00:00:23.500 --> 00:00:28.199 How about this? Whipping Tom of 1681 was the 00:00:28.199 --> 00:00:32.060 nickname given to a serial spanker in London. 00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:40.219 Whipping Tom. He would wait for an unaccompanied 00:00:40.219 --> 00:00:43.479 woman, grab her, and might do it. I'm shrooming 00:00:43.479 --> 00:00:46.179 too, so my words are a little bit going from 00:00:46.179 --> 00:00:48.420 me. I like those prostitutes. Wait a second. 00:00:51.829 --> 00:00:54.969 Hold on, wait. Actually, let's go to Deco. You 00:00:54.969 --> 00:00:57.009 like the prostitutes? I like those prostitutes 00:00:57.009 --> 00:00:59.729 that Jack the Ripper killed. Those, like, they're 00:00:59.729 --> 00:01:03.479 kind of fat. They're hot. I like them from back 00:01:03.479 --> 00:01:05.060 then. You like chubby ladies? Is that what you're 00:01:05.060 --> 00:01:07.540 trying to say? Yeah. In an unsuspecting way? 00:01:07.739 --> 00:01:09.680 Yeah. And then using Jack the Ripper for some 00:01:09.680 --> 00:01:12.260 reason? No, I just, every time they showed one 00:01:12.260 --> 00:01:14.680 of those prostitutes that he killed, I'd always 00:01:14.680 --> 00:01:15.340 think, man... First of all, they didn't show 00:01:15.340 --> 00:01:17.480 him it was a rendering of a drawing. Oh yeah, 00:01:17.579 --> 00:01:19.700 but any time I saw the drawings, I was always 00:01:19.700 --> 00:01:20.640 like, man, that chick was kind of hot. You just 00:01:20.640 --> 00:01:24.659 like chubby ladies in like, uh, the 16th or 15th 00:01:24.659 --> 00:01:27.900 or 18th century garb. 19th century garb. I guess 00:01:27.900 --> 00:01:32.219 so. You're a real knickers guy, aren't you? A 00:01:32.219 --> 00:01:36.480 real knicker you are. Oh shit, can I get back 00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:39.939 to my time to spanker? Yeah. All right. Whipping 00:01:39.939 --> 00:01:41.700 Tom, that was the name. Whipping Tom. All right, 00:01:41.780 --> 00:01:44.480 I'll read it again. Whipping Tom of uh, man. 00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:48.049 London. Yeah, whatever. 1681 was the nickname 00:01:48.049 --> 00:01:51.650 given to a serial spanker. 1681, he was doing 00:01:51.650 --> 00:01:53.849 this. I think that's what it is. Man. I'm shrooming, 00:01:53.930 --> 00:01:56.469 so my numbers might be jumbled, but there we 00:01:56.469 --> 00:01:59.390 go. 1681, yeah. That is fucking great. He would 00:01:59.390 --> 00:02:01.670 wait for an unaccompanied woman, kind of like 00:02:01.670 --> 00:02:04.510 Larry Grabber, just like Larry, lift her dress. 00:02:04.790 --> 00:02:10.930 Just like Larry. Before fleeing. I mean, this 00:02:10.930 --> 00:02:17.210 might be you. Sounds just like If we drew a sketch 00:02:17.210 --> 00:02:23.110 you'd probably look like Now listen though here 00:02:23.110 --> 00:02:26.729 we go So here you just like Larry he would wait 00:02:26.729 --> 00:02:29.710 for an unaccompanied woman grab her lift her 00:02:29.710 --> 00:02:33.990 dress and slap her buttocks while shouting Spanko 00:02:33.990 --> 00:02:40.669 Before fleeing he would yell spanko Just to let 00:02:40.669 --> 00:02:43.030 everybody know I like that guy. What do you mean? 00:02:43.490 --> 00:02:50.669 He sounds pretty fucking interesting There's 00:02:50.669 --> 00:02:54.229 a lot of steps into doing this I mean which I 00:02:54.229 --> 00:02:59.949 mean, you know, we've broke Spanko that's great. 00:02:59.949 --> 00:03:02.810 That might be the title. It's like smoke. Oh 00:03:02.810 --> 00:03:07.370 like the fucking Chats the what the chats those 00:03:07.370 --> 00:03:10.310 boys from Australia. Oh, yeah that smoke break 00:03:10.310 --> 00:03:15.210 video shit smoke. Oh, they're on spanko So vigilantes 00:03:15.210 --> 00:03:17.810 would dress in women's clothing and patrol the 00:03:17.810 --> 00:03:20.150 streets He was known to operate so they never 00:03:20.150 --> 00:03:22.490 caught the spanko They probably could he could 00:03:22.490 --> 00:03:24.729 probably tell a mile away the difference from 00:03:24.729 --> 00:03:27.370 a fake fucking woman in a beer Well back then 00:03:27.370 --> 00:03:29.590 who knows you know what I mean anything was going 00:03:29.590 --> 00:03:32.310 but spanko was a good name for an album Those, 00:03:32.530 --> 00:03:34.889 that's what, let's get back to those prostitutes. 00:03:35.150 --> 00:03:37.189 Okay Larry, I know you're chomping at the bit. 00:03:37.330 --> 00:03:39.870 There's no way that you'd mistake them for a 00:03:39.870 --> 00:03:41.729 man. That's the thing, you know. What do you 00:03:41.729 --> 00:03:45.229 mean? Back then, I mean, you had the Red Husky 00:03:45.229 --> 00:03:47.939 ladies. Yeah, so there wasn't guy other guys 00:03:47.939 --> 00:03:51.080 were stick then some broad had a bonnet on and 00:03:51.080 --> 00:03:53.180 they wore all that bullshit around them You know 00:03:53.180 --> 00:03:56.180 what I mean? Not the prostitutes man, not the 00:03:56.180 --> 00:03:58.400 ladies of the night They're wearing skin tight 00:03:58.400 --> 00:04:01.400 fucking things just like the whores do now like 00:04:01.400 --> 00:04:03.939 fucking New York City in like the 80s and you're 00:04:03.939 --> 00:04:07.900 comparing it to fucking I mean, what are you 00:04:07.900 --> 00:04:12.060 talking about? They wore skin tight shit Yeah, 00:04:12.699 --> 00:04:15.789 there's still hookers Yeah, okay, so now we agree 00:04:15.789 --> 00:04:17.490 on something finally. Yes, there's still our 00:04:17.490 --> 00:04:20.449 hookers. Yeah, but in the concept of your portraying 00:04:20.449 --> 00:04:23.290 I don't think that they were tighter bonnets 00:04:23.290 --> 00:04:25.449 and shit or whatever I don't even think they 00:04:25.449 --> 00:04:27.889 wore anything. They just Bob partitioned up in 00:04:27.889 --> 00:04:31.490 a whorehouse and Man, I think he was I think 00:04:31.490 --> 00:04:34.529 they were ones that would be like yeah Yeah, 00:04:34.870 --> 00:04:37.149 and I know sort of like, you know sluts hanging 00:04:37.149 --> 00:04:41.560 around in the bar and stuff like that I mean, 00:04:41.759 --> 00:04:44.360 that's any bar, right? Yeah. Any local bar has 00:04:44.360 --> 00:04:46.800 its sluts. Yeah. Right? It's local sluts. That's 00:04:46.800 --> 00:04:51.680 why we like it. Oh, Larry. The last time you 00:04:51.680 --> 00:04:54.660 touched the Boo Van Halen was popular. Yeah. 00:04:56.639 --> 00:04:59.600 But local sluts are fucking legend to every bar, 00:04:59.639 --> 00:05:06.720 right? Yeah, well. Aren't they? I would think 00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:09.259 so. What the fuck, Sigmund Freud over here? Jesus. 00:05:09.519 --> 00:05:13.620 Well yeah, man. There's sluts at every bar. You 00:05:13.620 --> 00:05:17.759 can tell them a mile away. They're usually cackling. 00:05:17.779 --> 00:05:22.459 It's usually you. This is buying drinks. This 00:05:22.459 --> 00:05:32.199 guy puts out. Whatever. Yeah. Ah, shit. So Spanko's 00:05:32.199 --> 00:05:35.480 pretty fucking funny. Spanko. Don't know how 00:05:35.480 --> 00:05:37.839 many women did he spanked up? How many women 00:05:37.839 --> 00:05:39.500 did he spank? I don't know man. I don't think 00:05:39.500 --> 00:05:41.959 they kept numbers back then. Well, they had to 00:05:41.959 --> 00:05:49.339 fucking have some kind of copycat spanko Just 00:05:49.339 --> 00:05:55.000 like a offshoot of spanko, yeah spanko jr. Sniffer 00:05:55.000 --> 00:06:02.639 Farto, you know, I mean tell me back then too 00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:05.240 Women were treated much more poorly than they 00:06:05.240 --> 00:06:08.699 are now. You can just walk up to them and squeeze 00:06:08.699 --> 00:06:10.620 them real hard in the stomach and the fart will 00:06:10.620 --> 00:06:15.220 come out. Is that what you wanted to do? That's 00:06:15.220 --> 00:06:17.319 what Farto did. I'm very happy that's the answer 00:06:17.319 --> 00:06:20.199 you gave, because I was expecting a completely 00:06:20.199 --> 00:06:24.399 different one. That's what Farto did. Well, I 00:06:24.399 --> 00:06:33.540 had six slaves. Cheers to Spanko. He never fucking 00:06:33.540 --> 00:06:36.680 got caught. Now, that's the album. Cheers to 00:06:36.680 --> 00:06:42.199 Spanko. He got away with it. He fucking got all 00:06:42.199 --> 00:06:45.120 that fucking luscious London. I did really elaborate 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:48.360 into Spanko's life after doing that. Yeah, but 00:06:48.360 --> 00:06:50.579 he didn't get caught. That doesn't say he did 00:06:50.579 --> 00:06:53.399 it. I'm assuming he did. Listen, if you're a 00:06:53.399 --> 00:06:55.879 man... They say he didn't get caught. The lore 00:06:55.879 --> 00:07:00.290 of this story is amazing, okay? Yeah, especially 00:07:00.290 --> 00:07:02.790 because it was walk around just slapping ladies 00:07:02.790 --> 00:07:05.089 bombs all day and you're so famous for doing 00:07:05.089 --> 00:07:08.029 it. There we have it in the 1600s and people 00:07:08.029 --> 00:07:09.389 are still talking about it. First of all, you 00:07:09.389 --> 00:07:11.649 probably don't want to scream something out and 00:07:11.649 --> 00:07:13.829 draw attention to yourself. That's the best part. 00:07:13.870 --> 00:07:17.269 I mean, you're a perverted class 101. Yeah, always 00:07:17.269 --> 00:07:23.500 be quiet. Yeah. It's the first thing they teach 00:07:23.500 --> 00:07:38.300 you. ABQ. ABQs. Always be quiet. We're selling 00:07:38.300 --> 00:07:43.560 that to an Israeli firm next. Yeah. So they can 00:07:43.560 --> 00:07:52.790 collect all your data. ABQ. You know because 00:07:52.790 --> 00:07:56.550 You don't want to attract attention to who? To 00:07:56.550 --> 00:07:59.550 the authorities when you're fucking about to 00:07:59.550 --> 00:08:02.490 spank somebody or something Well, why would you 00:08:02.490 --> 00:08:04.589 bother you want to do it after the fact not before 00:08:04.589 --> 00:08:06.750 the fact? Yeah, you don't yell spanko and then 00:08:06.750 --> 00:08:10.149 slap No, no, no, you slap him at I was under 00:08:10.149 --> 00:08:13.189 the impression that he was yelling it Simultaneously 00:08:13.189 --> 00:08:19.269 as he was slapping him spanko spanko Nice britches. 00:08:19.850 --> 00:08:20.889 And you're... And you're... And then he runs 00:08:20.889 --> 00:08:24.790 away. And you're sick perverted. Fucking... Horrible 00:08:24.790 --> 00:08:30.350 European fucking gulag mentality. You know. There's 00:08:30.350 --> 00:08:32.330 rats in the streets running, there's a cobblestone... 00:08:32.330 --> 00:08:34.129 And he's fucking hitting her in the ass going, 00:08:34.389 --> 00:08:37.750 Spanko! You just hear the wheels from the fucking 00:08:37.750 --> 00:08:42.690 cart going. Tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk 00:08:42.690 --> 00:08:44.549 tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk 00:08:44.549 --> 00:08:49.909 tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk 00:08:49.909 --> 00:08:50.129 tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk 00:08:50.129 --> 00:08:52.070 tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk 00:08:52.070 --> 00:08:52.970 tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk 00:08:52.970 --> 00:08:54.789 tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk 00:08:54.789 --> 00:08:54.789 tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk 00:08:54.789 --> 00:09:01.309 tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk 00:09:01.309 --> 00:09:07.490 tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk Yeah, you know what 00:09:07.490 --> 00:09:13.509 I mean, maybe spanko was the spanker maybe Spanky 00:09:13.509 --> 00:09:18.669 He was spanky. I Mean now just low -hanging fruit. 00:09:18.669 --> 00:09:22.210 Come on Even spaulding didn't approve of that 00:09:22.210 --> 00:09:27.850 one So fucking spanko was probably getting spanked 00:09:27.850 --> 00:09:32.009 by his mom Because he was hitting women. That's 00:09:32.009 --> 00:09:35.879 very Freudian because he's hitting women He didn't 00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:39.799 go up to man and spank man. That would be hilarious. 00:09:41.100 --> 00:09:46.879 Does the gay spank go? That's the copycat. He'd 00:09:46.879 --> 00:09:49.960 just slap an old school dude. He'd get shot in 00:09:49.960 --> 00:09:52.759 four seconds. He'd slap his ass. He'd be like, 00:09:52.879 --> 00:09:59.200 boom, boom. Fucking quid. Fucking quid touch 00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:02.559 me ass. Fucking knicker nanny. And knicker nanny 00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:06.570 tried to touch me pookit. Tried to touch my jewels 00:10:06.570 --> 00:10:08.950 if you know what I mean. Back then they didn't 00:10:08.950 --> 00:10:12.129 give a fuck though. Nah, let's shoot you just 00:10:12.129 --> 00:10:17.289 for fucking being there. I think guns were expensive 00:10:17.289 --> 00:10:19.330 back then and it wasn't like they gave them out 00:10:19.330 --> 00:10:22.649 to anybody. Well, they don't give them out to 00:10:22.649 --> 00:10:23.750 anybody. I think they use the mozzie method. 00:10:25.549 --> 00:10:29.909 Yeah. Stabby, stabby, stabby. Huh? Well, they 00:10:29.909 --> 00:10:32.330 just get it, man. You get a gun when you're a 00:10:32.330 --> 00:10:34.570 criminal. Motherfucker, they can make fucking 00:10:34.570 --> 00:10:36.309 shivs in prison. You don't think they can make 00:10:36.309 --> 00:10:38.269 them out here in the real world? You can order 00:10:38.269 --> 00:10:42.970 them off of Amazon. A shiv? Yeah. I can go to 00:10:42.970 --> 00:10:46.169 fucking Storm by a knife. I know. A knife is 00:10:46.169 --> 00:10:48.500 more personal, too. Yeah. You know what I mean? 00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:50.039 Like, oh, you go into a gun store, you're like, 00:10:50.379 --> 00:10:52.539 my ex -wife cheated on me. It's like, be a real 00:10:52.539 --> 00:10:54.659 man, go to the knife store. Yeah, well. You can 00:10:54.659 --> 00:10:56.919 get that the same day. Fuck the knife store. 00:10:57.120 --> 00:10:59.419 Go in the fucking drawer in the kitchen and grab 00:10:59.419 --> 00:11:02.539 a steak knife. No, I don't want something serrated. 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:08.039 Why not? I want it clean. I don't think you're 00:11:08.039 --> 00:11:11.139 thinking about that. John Rambo. I don't think 00:11:11.139 --> 00:11:13.889 you're thinking about that. Huh? You're thinking 00:11:13.889 --> 00:11:16.409 oh shit. I want me. I'm gonna have to live in 00:11:16.409 --> 00:11:19.029 this house after she's gone after I blame it 00:11:19.029 --> 00:11:28.730 on a black gentleman Usually does that's what 00:11:28.730 --> 00:11:32.450 happens murders do that, huh? Huh? Well, it's 00:11:32.450 --> 00:11:37.990 not even murders Yeah, honor killings seppuku 00:11:37.990 --> 00:11:41.129 say I wouldn't call Nah, except because when 00:11:41.129 --> 00:11:43.549 you kill yourself. And honor, it's more like 00:11:43.549 --> 00:11:44.970 Indian, but you know what, I don't even know 00:11:44.970 --> 00:11:47.269 what the fuck is an honor killing. Honor killing 00:11:47.269 --> 00:11:51.809 is like, if your sister's a slut and fucks somebody. 00:11:52.610 --> 00:11:55.649 So she's just being a woman. Before she's married 00:11:55.649 --> 00:11:57.950 or something, and then you kill her and it's 00:11:57.950 --> 00:12:00.289 okay. But the brothers get a turn before the 00:12:00.289 --> 00:12:04.509 husband does. Right? Otherwise how's the husband 00:12:04.509 --> 00:12:13.529 gonna know if she's any good? Larry, I swear 00:12:13.529 --> 00:12:20.470 to God. She's got to ask the brothers. I love 00:12:20.470 --> 00:12:23.870 you so much. You're the best. She's got to ask 00:12:23.870 --> 00:12:29.610 the bro. They tell the husband her favorite moves. 00:12:29.950 --> 00:12:34.870 All right. She likes it like this. Exactly. This 00:12:34.870 --> 00:12:38.279 usually makes her howl for the moon. Squirt all 00:12:38.279 --> 00:12:42.179 over What are you doing man? I don't know maybe 00:12:42.179 --> 00:12:44.279 so pervert. I know you don't know what you're 00:12:44.279 --> 00:12:48.419 doing Larry is Larry is in fucking gear three 00:12:48.419 --> 00:12:50.960 right now. He's getting ready to go to gear four 00:12:50.960 --> 00:12:54.019 kid eights mushrooms Got some PBRs in them Godzilla 00:12:54.019 --> 00:12:57.379 PBR. I'm good. Whoo. I know you're good Larry 00:12:57.379 --> 00:13:00.779 You're about to blast off just like flight 9 00:13:00.779 --> 00:13:04.799 -eleven Mm -hmm. That was the 40th anniversary. 00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:07.440 By the way, it was my brother No shirt Nick's 00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:09.720 birthday the other day. Happy birthday, Nick. 00:13:09.860 --> 00:13:12.000 Yep, keep a shirt on. And I told you about when 00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:14.799 we stayed home. I was already out of school. 00:13:14.799 --> 00:13:16.480 Yes, you told the story multitudes of times. 00:13:16.480 --> 00:13:18.500 And he was staying home from school because it 00:13:18.500 --> 00:13:20.740 was his birthday and we wanted to get high and 00:13:20.740 --> 00:13:22.840 watch the space shuttle thing and then it blew 00:13:22.840 --> 00:13:27.600 up. And then supposedly all those people got 00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:31.480 killed and shit and... You know, I told you that 00:13:31.480 --> 00:13:34.100 we high -fived each other and said yeah on your 00:13:34.100 --> 00:13:37.159 birthday I mean if you just want to keep telling 00:13:37.159 --> 00:13:39.379 the listeners this you've told me this story 00:13:39.379 --> 00:13:42.759 like five thousand times but it's just the 40th 00:13:42.759 --> 00:13:44.799 anniversary the other day and they talked about 00:13:44.799 --> 00:13:48.279 all those people and I told Mary all those people 00:13:48.279 --> 00:13:52.120 continued on in life and fucking Had a fucking 00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:54.879 career and a lot of them didn't even change their 00:13:54.879 --> 00:13:59.559 fucking names It continued on with the same fucking 00:13:59.559 --> 00:14:03.019 the Challenger is a very very tough one you they 00:14:03.019 --> 00:14:05.659 did the ultimate Psy op to kids your age They 00:14:05.659 --> 00:14:08.139 carded the fucking thing in the classroom slow 00:14:08.139 --> 00:14:10.500 down listen bulbs. Let's slow down first, okay? 00:14:11.500 --> 00:14:16.139 They created the ultimate Psy op on That day 00:14:16.139 --> 00:14:20.080 they brought a teacher in See now we didn't know 00:14:20.080 --> 00:14:22.000 about it because it was the Catholic school. 00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:24.940 They didn't even talk about it to us Went to 00:14:24.940 --> 00:14:27.740 Catholic school. Oh you did. Okay, I guess I 00:14:27.740 --> 00:14:30.879 was wrong as usual. Well, I don't know I guess 00:14:30.879 --> 00:14:33.120 I was out of school. I was out of school I'd 00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:35.840 have to ask my brother. I would have to ask my 00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:38.879 brother cuz I was out of school already Literal 00:14:38.879 --> 00:14:41.679 fucking Larry is really saving the pod right 00:14:41.679 --> 00:14:48.080 now I'm gonna hit her, faggot. Fuck off. You 00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:50.659 know, the Challenger is a very unpalatable one 00:14:50.659 --> 00:14:52.539 for people to understand because there's so many 00:14:52.539 --> 00:14:54.519 aspects that are going on with this, and there's 00:14:54.519 --> 00:14:58.200 so many parallels and variables that can be in 00:14:58.200 --> 00:15:01.159 accordance to what people show you for evidence, 00:15:01.340 --> 00:15:03.559 shall I say, right? Mm -hmm. So then they show 00:15:03.559 --> 00:15:06.399 the people that were in this flight, and then 00:15:06.399 --> 00:15:09.600 they show the people... that they can collaborate, 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:11.899 that they assume that these people to be, and 00:15:11.899 --> 00:15:14.059 like Larry said, some of them didn't even change 00:15:14.059 --> 00:15:16.799 their names. No. There was a guy who started 00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:19.360 this company, which was hilarious, and had like 00:15:19.360 --> 00:15:22.879 a cow going up as a rocket and going up into 00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:24.980 space. Yeah, yeah, even the logo in his company 00:15:24.980 --> 00:15:27.480 was something to do with this fucking space shuttle. 00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:31.700 You don't have a... I got one here. But yeah, 00:15:31.700 --> 00:15:34.100 no. It was really ironic too, and even a couple 00:15:34.100 --> 00:15:37.620 of them like, like online when they show... Like 00:15:37.620 --> 00:15:40.539 the guy go up behind the lady and he's like, 00:15:40.659 --> 00:15:44.100 hey Susan, and she turns around and she realizes 00:15:44.100 --> 00:15:47.000 that he's not friendly, that he's gonna fucking 00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:49.299 bust her or fucking get her with an I gotcha 00:15:49.299 --> 00:15:51.740 question. She's gotta get her mace out. And she 00:15:51.740 --> 00:15:53.879 fucking started running away from the guy and 00:15:53.879 --> 00:15:55.879 he's like, why are you running away from me? 00:15:55.960 --> 00:15:58.320 I just wanna talk to you about the... Would you 00:15:58.320 --> 00:16:03.000 rather be dead? No. So then you play into the 00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:05.500 lie. Yeah change a fucking name. Actually, you 00:16:05.500 --> 00:16:07.960 know what? How about a portion paperclip Warner 00:16:07.960 --> 00:16:10.059 von Braun? All these motherfuckers come over 00:16:10.059 --> 00:16:18.320 here to start NASA, which there we go So then 00:16:18.320 --> 00:16:20.940 we fucking so then we bring in word doesn't even 00:16:20.940 --> 00:16:24.769 change his name makes the Rockets They fucking 00:16:24.769 --> 00:16:27.570 do all their fucking shit. Because they said, 00:16:27.669 --> 00:16:29.950 hey, aren't you the guy that made the fucking 00:16:29.950 --> 00:16:32.210 V2 rockets that bombed London? Oh, it's not me, 00:16:32.210 --> 00:16:34.950 mister. No, not me, mister. We want you. No. 00:16:35.490 --> 00:16:38.029 No. And my German accent isn't that good, so 00:16:38.029 --> 00:16:39.350 I don't know if that's good. That's probably 00:16:39.350 --> 00:16:42.529 good, though. I ain't fine, fine. No, it's me, 00:16:42.750 --> 00:16:45.870 mister. Oh, man. Let me see the paper. I deciphered 00:16:45.870 --> 00:16:49.168 so much broken English from Germany in fucking... 00:16:49.159 --> 00:16:51.820 I was after a while. Don't get sidetracked. No, 00:16:51.820 --> 00:16:55.220 here's the thing. They said, yeah, you're the 00:16:55.220 --> 00:16:57.840 guy that made those V2 rockets that fucking went 00:16:57.840 --> 00:17:01.840 to England. Yes. Oh, OK, we want you because 00:17:01.840 --> 00:17:05.940 you could make rockets that could go to the ocean. 00:17:06.599 --> 00:17:09.920 Oh, the ocean. And yeah, but you can also make 00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:12.099 rockets that will fool everybody and make them 00:17:12.099 --> 00:17:14.519 think we're going to space. Warner Brown knew 00:17:14.519 --> 00:17:18.759 we weren't going to the fucking moon. Come on. 00:17:19.740 --> 00:17:22.700 I would love to introduce you to Larry's space 00:17:22.700 --> 00:17:28.059 corner. Space is fake. And gay. We all know that. 00:17:28.940 --> 00:17:31.480 Okay. And gay. But Larry, though, so if we brought 00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:34.240 all these NASA scientists here, why did we try 00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:38.720 to win the Cold War? Answer me. Wait, what? The 00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:41.339 Cold War? Wait, why? Well, why do we try to win 00:17:41.339 --> 00:17:44.420 the Cold War when we brought all these scientists 00:17:44.420 --> 00:17:48.250 here? Right. You'd think we could just dominate 00:17:48.250 --> 00:17:49.950 the world with all these scientists. We'd have 00:17:49.950 --> 00:17:52.890 to go to the moon or the stars. Right. They knew 00:17:52.890 --> 00:17:56.289 it. Let me tell you, they passed out Nazi scientists 00:17:56.289 --> 00:17:59.089 like they were fucking - Candy. Yeah, exactly. 00:17:59.730 --> 00:18:02.230 There was 100 ,000 of them came over here or 00:18:02.230 --> 00:18:05.369 more. They went to Italy, Spain, France, the 00:18:05.369 --> 00:18:07.349 fucking - None of them got in trouble. South 00:18:07.349 --> 00:18:09.390 America, every continent you can ever think of. 00:18:09.529 --> 00:18:12.869 Yeah. And they acclimated. Yeah. Unlike the muzzies. 00:18:13.150 --> 00:18:15.700 No. They just blend it in. They blend it in, 00:18:15.779 --> 00:18:17.420 and you didn't even know that the guy worked 00:18:17.420 --> 00:18:19.480 at a fucking... I mean, every once in a while, 00:18:19.859 --> 00:18:22.279 if you were a really cool dude, you'd just blast 00:18:22.279 --> 00:18:25.140 Erika on the Bluetooth, and this guy would have 00:18:25.140 --> 00:18:35.000 to come out and salute. Yeah. Something like 00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:38.809 that. Yeah, that was a complete opposite of Erica, 00:18:38.809 --> 00:18:41.569 but that's why I think I was doing the Canadian 00:18:41.569 --> 00:18:47.849 fucking national You're doing the pollock version 00:18:47.849 --> 00:18:58.390 Fuck where my skaters go Yeah, man, so Spaces 00:18:58.390 --> 00:19:00.890 fake anybody that thinks we went to the moon 00:19:00.890 --> 00:19:02.809 is out of their mind. I'll never forget. We were 00:19:02.809 --> 00:19:06.859 watching the eclipse With norm and Roxanne if 00:19:06.859 --> 00:19:10.500 you weren't glasses, were you? No, they had no 00:19:10.500 --> 00:19:14.660 they had glass. I'm just staring at the and boards 00:19:14.660 --> 00:19:19.220 was staring right at Going blind. Yeah, but you 00:19:19.220 --> 00:19:25.039 get you get retarded waves off And we made them 00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:34.430 laugh so to but that's great You get retarded 00:19:34.430 --> 00:19:39.029 if you're with intent. He's like a retard beam. 00:19:43.690 --> 00:19:48.829 Like a centrifuge or a lexicon. Yeah. Or performative 00:19:48.829 --> 00:19:53.670 retard. Yeah. R .I .P. Don't enforce right foot. 00:19:59.210 --> 00:20:04.950 I just thought that'd be funny. The woof woof. 00:20:05.789 --> 00:20:08.750 His foot took over his whole body, actually. 00:20:08.869 --> 00:20:11.190 His toenail started. His toenail took over his 00:20:11.190 --> 00:20:14.289 whole body. His toenail started the rebellion 00:20:14.289 --> 00:20:20.789 against his fucking plantar fasciitis. It was 00:20:20.789 --> 00:20:25.990 a real front on four sides of war. It was a full 00:20:25.990 --> 00:20:41.599 frontal attack. That's your favorite So Okay, 00:20:41.779 --> 00:20:44.019 yeah, I mean, you're the boss. No, that's it. 00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:46.180 They didn't go to space. Anybody that thinks 00:20:46.180 --> 00:20:49.240 they did is fucking nuts. Shit, man, I apologize. 00:20:49.460 --> 00:20:52.619 And those people, all those people, they had 00:20:52.619 --> 00:20:54.660 to go through the rest of their life and pretend 00:20:54.660 --> 00:20:57.460 like they died on this thing, but then continue 00:20:57.460 --> 00:21:00.559 on teaching in the same fucking thing. It's like, 00:21:00.740 --> 00:21:02.519 why the fuck would they wheel TVs in front of 00:21:02.519 --> 00:21:05.579 all the kids? Yeah, that's the thing. That's 00:21:05.579 --> 00:21:06.440 the proof that it's such bullshit. They fucking 00:21:06.440 --> 00:21:08.660 blew up in front of us and then we gotta go to 00:21:08.660 --> 00:21:13.109 fucking gym. You know, okay now I'll play volleyball 00:21:13.109 --> 00:21:16.410 or something. Dodgeball. I hope it was dodgeball 00:21:16.410 --> 00:21:18.170 that day. It's actually pretty good though. You 00:21:18.170 --> 00:21:20.710 don't want to pushify us, right? Everybody's 00:21:20.710 --> 00:21:21.930 like, because you know at that point in time 00:21:21.930 --> 00:21:23.849 I don't really think I gave a fuck about the 00:21:23.849 --> 00:21:26.069 NASA program. I didn't know anything about it. 00:21:26.109 --> 00:21:28.049 Well, that's what they were trying to do is show 00:21:28.049 --> 00:21:31.109 you guys that. But then they wanted to traumatize 00:21:31.109 --> 00:21:33.609 you. You really want to be an astronaut. Yeah. 00:21:37.119 --> 00:22:04.000 This is where we do a lot of our training We'll 00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:07.599 be docking at four. Oh man, it is something I'm 00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:10.900 totally buying. If they even made a gay porn 00:22:10.900 --> 00:22:14.700 about the fucking International Space Station 00:22:14.700 --> 00:22:20.039 docking with other bros. That's like the Stanley 00:22:20.039 --> 00:22:23.839 Kubrick of porn right there. Oh god. That's so 00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:26.839 fucking disgusting. Two thousand bum instead 00:22:26.839 --> 00:22:30.500 of two thousand what? Chad, like, I hope you 00:22:30.500 --> 00:22:33.180 like that one. Two thousand bombs. Two thousand 00:22:33.180 --> 00:22:42.460 bombs. Oh, man, what a fruitcake you are. Dude, 00:22:42.460 --> 00:22:44.759 it's a fucking joke. You know, I'm not a fucking 00:22:44.759 --> 00:22:48.480 fruitcake. Yeah, I don't know about that. Sounds 00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:52.460 like you want to try something on me. No, that's 00:22:52.460 --> 00:22:57.240 your fucking homosexual fantasy. You beat me 00:22:57.240 --> 00:23:00.549 out of it. Should we just talk about sports now? 00:23:02.589 --> 00:23:04.910 So the guy who caught the ball last week looked 00:23:04.910 --> 00:23:06.630 really good in tight pants. That was fucking 00:23:06.630 --> 00:23:10.130 gay too. And then the other guy reached between 00:23:10.130 --> 00:23:12.609 his legs and grabbed the ball. And then the other 00:23:12.609 --> 00:23:15.130 guy bent over and they tackled each other. That 00:23:15.130 --> 00:23:19.910 was hot. And then Will Smith made a song called 00:23:19.910 --> 00:23:24.839 Girls Girls Girls. I love girls. I don't like 00:23:24.839 --> 00:23:30.599 being in the studio You're like boy this guy 00:23:30.599 --> 00:23:38.039 loves girls. Yeah. Yeah guys. I do I do And then 00:23:38.039 --> 00:23:40.980 he fucking sings his little song and his wife 00:23:40.980 --> 00:23:42.460 is having sex with some other rapper. First of 00:23:42.460 --> 00:23:44.099 all, if you tell me you like girls, I believe 00:23:44.099 --> 00:23:47.339 you. Sure But if you're making a song like that, 00:23:47.339 --> 00:23:55.220 I don't know if I believe you You should cover 00:23:55.220 --> 00:23:59.599 that. I like girls. It's gotta be a terrible 00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:00.579 song. Why would you do that? Imagine sitting 00:24:00.579 --> 00:24:02.279 in the fucking recording studio. Is that what 00:24:02.279 --> 00:24:04.160 it's called? I like girls. Something like that 00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:06.220 shit, man. That guy's a finuck. I don't care 00:24:06.220 --> 00:24:08.859 what anyone says. That broad looks like a cue 00:24:08.859 --> 00:24:11.339 ball. How about the fucking... Why would you 00:24:11.339 --> 00:24:13.660 slap a fucking... I mean... How about the... 00:24:13.660 --> 00:24:17.039 He slapped Chris Rock, right? What did Chris 00:24:17.039 --> 00:24:21.769 Rock ever do wrong? He put his name in her mouth, 00:24:21.930 --> 00:24:23.990 cause in the black community, I think that's 00:24:23.990 --> 00:24:25.809 like a number one felony, that's like a tier 00:24:25.809 --> 00:24:29.690 one felony. If you put, so stay with me right 00:24:29.690 --> 00:24:33.269 here, I'll explain this, okay? So, your name 00:24:33.269 --> 00:24:36.390 is Shaniqua, okay? There we go, alright, lookit, 00:24:36.450 --> 00:24:38.170 you're already playing the part, I like that 00:24:38.170 --> 00:24:40.529 Larry, good job. So then your name is Shaniqua. 00:24:40.529 --> 00:24:43.009 And I just got my nails done, motherfucker, and 00:24:43.009 --> 00:24:44.789 you didn't say nothing about it. Slow down, slow 00:24:44.789 --> 00:24:49.240 down Shaniqua, typical behavior. Completely typical 00:24:49.240 --> 00:24:51.920 behavior. Won't even let me finish. You didn't 00:24:51.920 --> 00:24:54.319 say nothing about my nails yet. I didn't call 00:24:54.319 --> 00:24:58.220 the cops yet. Relax. All right. Calm down. Now 00:24:58.220 --> 00:25:01.519 all of a sudden Tyrone comes over. I know him. 00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:07.660 Well, I mean, Tyrone is your baby daddy. But 00:25:07.660 --> 00:25:09.319 obviously you don't want to look good for your 00:25:09.319 --> 00:25:12.420 baby daddy. Do you hear that? And I mean, the 00:25:12.420 --> 00:25:14.779 little Spalding right here is caught in between. 00:25:15.140 --> 00:25:23.220 The love triangle. I don't know, I mean he's 00:25:23.220 --> 00:25:25.299 a baby but not really a love triangle. Caught 00:25:25.299 --> 00:25:32.119 in a love triangle. Stop using that baby to slap 00:25:32.119 --> 00:25:39.940 your pussy. Aw man. He's not a real baby though. 00:25:41.059 --> 00:25:46.180 Alright aw man. Me rubber so tight. Okay, we're 00:25:46.180 --> 00:25:48.240 already in this scenario. So you gotta keep the 00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:51.039 name out your fucking mouth. Oh, yeah So then 00:25:51.039 --> 00:25:53.079 because we're typical of black women though. 00:25:53.079 --> 00:25:56.599 It's like, you know Keep your name out. I can't 00:25:56.599 --> 00:25:59.059 even pronounce your fucking name. Yeah, it's 00:25:59.059 --> 00:26:02.059 difficult to fucking keep it out of my mouth 00:26:02.059 --> 00:26:05.619 sneak what you're lucky if that's what it is. 00:26:05.819 --> 00:26:08.319 One of them's got an apostrophe. Yeah, someone's 00:26:08.319 --> 00:26:11.319 got a fucking tilde in there. It's like a hyphen. 00:26:11.559 --> 00:26:14.000 And then some sort of fucking... Some umlauts 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:20.599 and shit. Umlauts. This bitch got umlauts in 00:26:20.599 --> 00:26:25.440 her name. Yeah. She's a little German. She's 00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:27.900 got a little umlaut chunk in her name. She's 00:26:27.900 --> 00:26:29.960 German. She's German. German black. Oh yeah. 00:26:31.079 --> 00:26:33.599 She got a little swastika over her. I've never 00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:38.839 seen one black sister bitch in, uh... I mean, 00:26:38.980 --> 00:26:43.160 did you have to pee? I mean... Everywhere I went. 00:26:43.460 --> 00:26:47.220 It's nothing but white bitches. It's all white 00:26:47.220 --> 00:26:49.240 bitches everywhere I went. Yeah, but that was, 00:26:49.240 --> 00:26:52.819 what, 30 years ago? 40 years ago? Yeah, but no. 00:26:52.980 --> 00:26:56.119 No, it was 20 years ago. But it was all the big 00:26:56.119 --> 00:27:00.480 major cities, you'd think. But no, man. Nothing 00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:05.019 but whites. It was weird. Larry, this is 30 years 00:27:05.019 --> 00:27:09.039 ago. 20 years ago. Okay, you're high on mushrooms. 00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:11.819 Why are you even talking about that? I'm just 00:27:11.819 --> 00:27:13.859 saying, it was weird. Because that's how you 00:27:13.859 --> 00:27:15.940 want it to be, right? No, I didn't say that. 00:27:15.960 --> 00:27:18.299 That's what you want, right? No. You just want 00:27:18.299 --> 00:27:20.640 an all -white society. No, I didn't say that. 00:27:20.640 --> 00:27:24.119 I mean, Larry. I didn't say that. I mean, your 00:27:24.119 --> 00:27:29.740 eyes say all of it. I can tell by your expression. 00:27:29.390 --> 00:27:32.869 Expression shall I say? That's right. So what's 00:27:32.869 --> 00:27:35.410 wrong with that? No, it was fucking not bad. 00:27:35.410 --> 00:27:37.789 It was pretty nice The problem is is race becomes 00:27:37.789 --> 00:27:41.269 over religion religion becomes over race. All 00:27:41.269 --> 00:27:44.369 right, they rest that's the new John lemon because 00:27:44.369 --> 00:27:48.670 I mean listen There's nothing better than a person 00:27:48.670 --> 00:27:51.170 complaining how persecuted they are by the white 00:27:51.170 --> 00:27:53.549 man And then they're married to a white man and 00:27:53.549 --> 00:27:56.109 that faggot just got arrested. All right, you 00:27:56.109 --> 00:28:02.049 said it I did it He did. Larry FBI contacts over 00:28:02.049 --> 00:28:08.089 here. They said that what he did was not journalism 00:28:08.089 --> 00:28:10.150 when he went in that church and shit and got 00:28:10.150 --> 00:28:13.289 in those people's faces. Oh, well, you know what? 00:28:13.430 --> 00:28:15.170 Listen, man. And he's like, I'm protected under 00:28:15.170 --> 00:28:17.150 journalism, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, 00:28:17.309 --> 00:28:20.450 no, motherfucker, this was attacking the... Create 00:28:20.450 --> 00:28:25.450 a problem. make the people beg the government 00:28:25.450 --> 00:28:30.549 for a solution. It's our new Patriot Act right 00:28:30.549 --> 00:28:32.710 now. This is our new Patriot Act right now. And 00:28:32.710 --> 00:28:34.670 I'll say that. I don't know if anybody said that, 00:28:34.670 --> 00:28:38.930 but I'll say that. Doing these illegals and fucking 00:28:38.930 --> 00:28:42.549 watching upon them and marking where they go 00:28:42.549 --> 00:28:45.930 and coordination, collaboration, triangulation 00:28:45.930 --> 00:28:49.029 and all this bullshit. Guess who's that working 00:28:49.029 --> 00:28:53.109 against? The American people. We are mishmash 00:28:53.109 --> 00:28:58.130 into illegals. And they'll turn it on us in four 00:28:58.130 --> 00:29:01.549 seconds, right? As they always do. Well, just 00:29:01.549 --> 00:29:04.480 like they did with the, you know... so -called 00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:08.500 fucking 9 -eleven terrorists in the in the Airports 00:29:08.500 --> 00:29:10.619 man all of a sudden when we would go on tour 00:29:10.619 --> 00:29:13.660 and shit it became this fucking thing where all 00:29:13.660 --> 00:29:15.539 of a sudden you get caught with a lighter and 00:29:15.539 --> 00:29:19.000 they're ready to Handcuffs and shit. No apples 00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:21.720 and fucking orange. No, but that was all fake 00:29:21.720 --> 00:29:25.019 shit to turn against the people and they Like 00:29:25.019 --> 00:29:27.500 it was you're a real son of a bitch. You're just 00:29:27.500 --> 00:29:29.700 gonna side rail all that just to tell me about 00:29:29.700 --> 00:29:32.029 a fucking lighter Well, no, I'm just saying, 00:29:32.289 --> 00:29:34.549 they fucking turned it on the people, asshole. 00:29:35.970 --> 00:29:38.349 Just like you're fucking saying. They're gonna 00:29:38.349 --> 00:29:40.589 turn it on us. They already did. They turned 00:29:40.589 --> 00:29:42.009 it on you right away. Look what they did to the 00:29:42.009 --> 00:29:46.470 blacks. Look what they did to Spaulding. Spaulding 00:29:46.470 --> 00:29:48.829 asked for a new laptop for Christmas. Did he 00:29:48.829 --> 00:29:52.250 get one? No. You got nothing, again. Well, they 00:29:52.250 --> 00:29:54.109 say they're like monkeys. Remember that when 00:29:54.109 --> 00:29:56.529 they did the monkey thing with the laptop? And 00:29:56.529 --> 00:29:58.690 they said, yeah, they don't know how to work 00:29:58.690 --> 00:29:59.789 the laptops or something. No, they don't have 00:29:59.789 --> 00:30:04.269 IDs, which is the best. Who needs an ID? And 00:30:04.269 --> 00:30:06.390 then they did the monkey thing on the internet. 00:30:06.549 --> 00:30:09.670 What was the joke? I forgot it. Saying that. 00:30:10.009 --> 00:30:13.640 What's that? You know, what was the joke? I forgot. 00:30:13.640 --> 00:30:15.319 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. 00:30:15.460 --> 00:30:18.019 The fucking monkey thing, dude. The monkey thing? 00:30:18.059 --> 00:30:19.960 That is the most vague thing I've ever heard. 00:30:20.299 --> 00:30:21.480 The monkey thing. With the laptops. With the 00:30:21.480 --> 00:30:24.720 laptops. Yeah, because Kathy Hochel said that 00:30:24.720 --> 00:30:26.980 they couldn't fucking access shit with the laptops 00:30:26.980 --> 00:30:29.000 and they couldn't use computers. Oh, right, right, 00:30:29.059 --> 00:30:31.440 right, right. Kathy Hochel. Oh my god. I fucking 00:30:31.440 --> 00:30:33.980 forgot, motherfucker. How am I supposed to remember 00:30:33.980 --> 00:30:38.210 all this shit? Can't be hopeful said I don't 00:30:38.210 --> 00:30:40.450 know I know but that's what I'm here for you 00:30:40.450 --> 00:30:43.170 monkey and then you diminish my character like 00:30:43.170 --> 00:30:47.589 I'm a low mob boss and some see budget Listen, 00:30:48.150 --> 00:30:50.849 I'm not sucking toes and sniffing farts. All 00:30:50.849 --> 00:30:54.670 right, I'm coming up to the boss position And 00:30:54.670 --> 00:30:57.910 let me get one of them kiddo, but no So Kathy 00:30:57.910 --> 00:31:01.710 Hokel's another fucking my favorite is I would 00:31:01.710 --> 00:31:03.809 like to write in Whitmer. Yeah, I would love 00:31:03.809 --> 00:31:07.269 to fucking Get a hold of her, one night. Oh man, 00:31:07.930 --> 00:31:11.630 the views that Larry just had, out of Larry and 00:31:11.630 --> 00:31:16.930 Edel's show. She's hot. I'd like to fucking do 00:31:16.930 --> 00:31:20.910 Whitmer. I think she's hot. I would like to do 00:31:20.910 --> 00:31:23.230 her. Okay, I mean, can you be any more creepier 00:31:23.230 --> 00:31:25.049 about a lady you've never met and seen pictures 00:31:25.049 --> 00:31:28.849 of? Well no, I can't because, why would I? You 00:31:28.849 --> 00:31:33.829 gotta get up close. Up close and personal. I'm 00:31:33.829 --> 00:31:38.990 going to stop at the knife store first. No. The 00:31:38.990 --> 00:31:45.009 only stabbing I want to do is with my dick. This 00:31:45.009 --> 00:31:48.990 knife just has a camera. It's going to record. 00:31:53.289 --> 00:31:55.089 Technically, I'm not threatening you with a knife, 00:31:55.089 --> 00:31:58.930 just a camera. I would have a fucking... Go for 00:31:58.930 --> 00:32:01.549 strapped on my fucking helmet stop for a second 00:32:01.549 --> 00:32:06.309 Larry has two hitters Fucking nice. I got it. 00:32:06.309 --> 00:32:09.910 I got it. I got this one in the box red hot Larry 00:32:09.910 --> 00:32:13.849 My name is Larry and I'm autistic see that red 00:32:13.849 --> 00:32:18.349 hot red hot Larry peppers And it's got us it's 00:32:18.349 --> 00:32:23.609 got two fucking ceramic cheers Ceramic fucking 00:32:23.609 --> 00:32:31.160 there's a fag things Which is cool. We should 00:32:31.160 --> 00:32:33.140 draw a pentagram on the ground and pray to Alistair 00:32:33.140 --> 00:32:35.660 Crowley. No, man. I'm not doing that. That's 00:32:35.660 --> 00:32:43.359 just an idea. Speaking of Alistair Crowley though. 00:32:43.599 --> 00:32:49.519 What about him, brother? Do you know that Barbara 00:32:49.519 --> 00:32:55.049 Bush is his son? Alright, let's unpack this for 00:32:55.049 --> 00:32:57.670 a second. Do I know that Barbara Bush is Alistair 00:32:57.670 --> 00:32:58.970 Crowley's son? Barbara Bush, the old fucking 00:32:58.970 --> 00:33:01.930 lady that was really, like, looked like a man. 00:33:02.369 --> 00:33:05.589 The one that's totally a man, you know, the old 00:33:05.589 --> 00:33:08.910 lady that was married to the president and you 00:33:08.910 --> 00:33:11.769 think, why is this guy married to this old fucking 00:33:11.769 --> 00:33:13.430 grandma? And then you look close and you think, 00:33:13.490 --> 00:33:16.190 man, that's an old man. That nigga's a man. Yeah, 00:33:16.190 --> 00:33:18.170 and then you look closer and you're like, shit, 00:33:18.549 --> 00:33:24.390 that motherfucker's Alistair Crowley's son. That's 00:33:24.390 --> 00:33:28.569 what I think Barbara Bush is out. They also know 00:33:28.569 --> 00:33:33.970 Anton LeVay now just Satan her His daughter did 00:33:33.970 --> 00:33:36.130 you ever see his daughter the really hot? I'm 00:33:36.130 --> 00:33:38.589 going to let you know the slutty looking hot 00:33:38.589 --> 00:33:41.990 one that looks like Taylor Swift slutty version 00:33:41.990 --> 00:33:45.009 of Taylor Swift like get your juices going doesn't 00:33:45.009 --> 00:33:47.250 it? But here's the thing man. It makes you think 00:33:47.250 --> 00:33:49.650 well where did Taylor Swift fucking come from? 00:33:49.819 --> 00:33:52.640 makes you chink about what if there was an Asian 00:33:52.640 --> 00:33:56.339 Taylor Swift. But here's the thing. Makes you 00:33:56.339 --> 00:33:58.400 chink. I think already that the Taylor Swift... 00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:01.079 And I'm blowing my a material over here. Very 00:34:01.079 --> 00:34:05.240 honorable. Very honorable. But, you know, Taylor 00:34:05.240 --> 00:34:10.559 Swift is fucking probably Anton LaVey's daughter's 00:34:10.559 --> 00:34:13.860 clone or some shit. Do you really believe that, 00:34:14.039 --> 00:34:16.860 though? Hell yeah, I do. I mean, we talked about 00:34:16.860 --> 00:34:18.260 that. I believe all that crazy fucking shit. 00:34:18.320 --> 00:34:19.719 Well, if you can't... Listen, here's the fucking 00:34:19.719 --> 00:34:21.820 deal, though. If you can't just pick and choose 00:34:21.820 --> 00:34:23.639 what you believe, do you believe it all or do 00:34:23.639 --> 00:34:28.719 you believe not all? Exactly. That's why I believe 00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:32.119 it all. And I'm in the, uh... No, I don't believe 00:34:32.119 --> 00:34:35.599 all. Well, no, I believe all the fucking, uh, 00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:38.420 horror stories. I believe... Come on, it's like 00:34:38.420 --> 00:34:40.639 prostitution? Well, here's the thing. No. It 00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:42.559 really looks like you and I are playing mahjong 00:34:42.559 --> 00:34:47.039 down here. It looks like... Listen, I'm going 00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:49.000 to tell you right now, we are getting compromised 00:34:49.000 --> 00:34:57.599 by the CCP in the next 30 minutes. There he can 00:34:57.599 --> 00:35:00.539 handle it all. All right Larry, yes sir, keep 00:35:00.539 --> 00:35:03.079 going. I forgot what I was talking about, man. 00:35:03.159 --> 00:35:13.469 Imagine that. We're talking about the moon. We're 00:35:13.469 --> 00:35:17.769 talking about Hitler. You wanna talk about, um... 00:35:17.769 --> 00:35:20.730 Okay, let's talk about Hitler. No, that's not 00:35:20.730 --> 00:35:24.409 at all. Here's the thing about Hitler. I mean, 00:35:24.409 --> 00:35:26.309 he sounded like your best friend. He was a bad 00:35:26.309 --> 00:35:30.469 guy. He killed a lot of people. Blah, blah, blah. 00:35:30.530 --> 00:35:33.690 But here's the thing. People walk around with 00:35:33.690 --> 00:35:38.119 t -shirts with Che Guevara. Fucking... Mike Tyson's 00:35:38.119 --> 00:35:43.059 got a tattoo of mile Fucking you can wear is 00:35:43.059 --> 00:35:45.579 that dude the motherfuckers? How about what about 00:35:45.579 --> 00:35:48.780 the bullshit man? So you can you know you could 00:35:48.780 --> 00:35:51.539 you could wear a t -shirt with with whoever you 00:35:51.539 --> 00:35:56.639 want on there or or whatever raging dictator, 00:35:56.840 --> 00:36:00.420 murderer, killer. But for some reason, Hitler, 00:36:00.460 --> 00:36:03.599 who didn't even get close to these other guys 00:36:03.599 --> 00:36:07.239 in numbers of kills, like Sam Tripoli, he's like 00:36:07.239 --> 00:36:10.019 the worst fucking person. Like Sam Tripoli says, 00:36:10.199 --> 00:36:13.659 Hitler's on the bench waiting to come into the 00:36:13.659 --> 00:36:17.000 game while these other. Yeah, these other. Absolutely. 00:36:17.199 --> 00:36:21.219 We call it these other mass pros. Fauci, Fauci 00:36:21.219 --> 00:36:24.949 fucking up there, baby. Come on, US government. 00:36:25.130 --> 00:36:28.769 And they got Fauci candles in the fucking Walgreens 00:36:28.769 --> 00:36:32.670 or whatever. It's CVS with like the guy in the 00:36:32.670 --> 00:36:35.030 Hispanic section, the little fucking religious 00:36:35.030 --> 00:36:39.489 candles. They had religious fucking Fauci candles. 00:36:39.690 --> 00:36:41.110 Come on, you're fucking kidding me. I'm not kidding 00:36:41.110 --> 00:36:43.030 you, man. You should have bought all of them. 00:36:43.469 --> 00:36:45.730 They're probably worth the shit done now. Nah, 00:36:45.730 --> 00:36:49.309 I can't stand that cocksucker. Save your Fauci. 00:36:49.650 --> 00:36:51.960 What are you going to do? What a fucking piece 00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:53.880 of shit that guy is. First of all, we all know 00:36:53.880 --> 00:36:56.300 he started with the fucking Dallas Buyers Club 00:36:56.300 --> 00:37:00.880 with AZT and AIDS. This guy killed for nooks. 00:37:00.880 --> 00:37:05.179 Yeah. On a mass scale and then hid and then all 00:37:05.179 --> 00:37:07.599 of a sudden came back in his fucking his coup 00:37:07.599 --> 00:37:12.559 d 'etat. His Magnus Opus, shall I say, was covid. 00:37:13.699 --> 00:37:17.739 That was the culmination of multitudes of years 00:37:17.739 --> 00:37:21.320 of experience, just. Tied into a little man, 00:37:21.659 --> 00:37:24.219 forced by the government to fucking... Yeah, 00:37:24.219 --> 00:37:26.380 okay, whatever. And he was the highest paid little 00:37:26.380 --> 00:37:27.500 fucking drag off out there. It's all back to 00:37:27.500 --> 00:37:29.480 Fort... It's all back to Fort Deertrick and they 00:37:29.480 --> 00:37:33.079 fucking... Where they brought Lyme disease. All 00:37:33.079 --> 00:37:35.219 that bullshit that the government thought all 00:37:35.219 --> 00:37:42.699 this was... Was that Lyme, Pennsylvania? How 00:37:42.699 --> 00:37:47.440 come the Blacks don't get Lyme disease? Because 00:37:47.440 --> 00:37:50.530 they don't go hunting. They don't get near deers. 00:37:50.989 --> 00:37:55.289 Well they don't want to be by trees. I don't 00:37:55.289 --> 00:37:57.050 know, I just came up with that on the fly. I 00:37:57.050 --> 00:38:00.170 like that. I like how you like that. That's really 00:38:00.170 --> 00:38:04.570 good. You know Rosa Parks had a car? Yeah. Why 00:38:04.570 --> 00:38:08.349 the fuck was that bitch taking the bus? Because 00:38:08.349 --> 00:38:10.989 she was a photo op and a Psy op, just like the 00:38:10.989 --> 00:38:14.289 person before her. And she had a really nice 00:38:14.289 --> 00:38:17.750 car too. There was a Rosa Parks before her. And 00:38:17.750 --> 00:38:21.989 she got, uh, nailed by her... She got impregnated 00:38:21.989 --> 00:38:26.530 by her handler, shall we say. And... this, uh, 00:38:26.710 --> 00:38:30.210 this, uh, Alex Purdy guy? Pretty? Dude, that 00:38:30.210 --> 00:38:32.389 guy couldn't be... If you ask me to draw fucking 00:38:32.389 --> 00:38:38.949 Jew, that's who you would... Oh, yeah. Jew Junior. 00:38:40.389 --> 00:38:45.010 Super Jew Junior. He was waiting to grow into 00:38:45.010 --> 00:38:47.710 that fucking nose, man. Another fucking Psyhop 00:38:47.710 --> 00:38:49.730 and nothing happened. So we just now they're 00:38:49.730 --> 00:38:52.329 just Throwing people out to the fodder. They're 00:38:52.329 --> 00:38:54.869 letting them get killed. Oh, maybe this white 00:38:54.869 --> 00:38:58.289 broad Renee Good Yeah, who is a fucking slut? 00:38:58.409 --> 00:39:00.150 Oh, she's going to here. I don't know if she 00:39:00.150 --> 00:39:02.489 was a slut or not, but she's going to hell no 00:39:02.489 --> 00:39:05.610 matter what she was at night Doesn't matter. 00:39:05.750 --> 00:39:09.289 She's right. Here's your ticket. Jesus just punched 00:39:09.289 --> 00:39:15.440 it with All right, there you go. Don't use your 00:39:15.440 --> 00:39:19.199 shit. And then you got this fucking... I like 00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:22.500 that. Jesus just wants you to take the fucking 00:39:22.500 --> 00:39:34.440 9mm. You're going to hell, bitch. Fucking eat 00:39:34.440 --> 00:39:42.920 some pussy down there. I fucking don't wish hell 00:39:42.920 --> 00:39:48.360 on anybody. I didn't stop your rant. I don't 00:39:48.360 --> 00:39:52.199 wish hell on her though, but again. Dude, Jesus 00:39:52.199 --> 00:39:55.000 punched in your ticket. Jesus did punch that 00:39:55.000 --> 00:40:00.400 ticket with a nine millimeter. He was pretty 00:40:00.400 --> 00:40:04.500 serious about shit. Dude, listen, if you believe 00:40:04.500 --> 00:40:06.699 in anything, you're the lord and savior of Jesus 00:40:06.699 --> 00:40:10.059 Christ, right? Yeah, absolutely. But, second 00:40:10.059 --> 00:40:13.039 of all, don't drive at a guy who's got a gun. 00:40:14.199 --> 00:40:18.239 Right? Yeah. Even if Jesus is sitting next to 00:40:18.239 --> 00:40:24.860 you in the car, Jesus told me to do it. Jesus 00:40:24.860 --> 00:40:29.559 told me to do it. I would be Jesus and I'm driving. 00:40:30.360 --> 00:40:39.820 Run that mother. I'm sick of these guys. We got 00:40:39.820 --> 00:41:03.699 six kids in the car. Okay. Fuck those cops. Jesus 00:41:03.699 --> 00:41:06.659 doesn't need a rifle as a thing. He just fucking... 00:41:06.659 --> 00:41:09.260 How do you know that? He can fucking do it with 00:41:09.260 --> 00:41:11.019 his mind. Yeah, because you've been watching 00:41:11.019 --> 00:41:14.539 too many movies, dude. Jesus can do it with his 00:41:14.539 --> 00:41:17.639 mind. It's the most fucking mushroom thing I've 00:41:17.639 --> 00:41:21.820 ever heard. Jesus can do it with his mind. Yeah. 00:41:22.059 --> 00:41:24.500 Write that down, one of us, because I can barely 00:41:24.500 --> 00:41:29.059 read right now. the episode. No, seriously, he 00:41:29.059 --> 00:41:32.960 can though. He can walk on water, he can part 00:41:32.960 --> 00:41:38.539 the seas, he can do all kinds of shit. Do you 00:41:38.539 --> 00:41:42.099 think he touch kids? No. I think you're gonna 00:41:42.099 --> 00:41:47.000 go to hell just for asking me. But that's what 00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:49.199 you would like to think, but now I'm asking real 00:41:49.199 --> 00:41:52.980 questions. No, you just didn't touch kids, man. 00:41:52.980 --> 00:41:55.280 How do you know? Because you didn't. I mean, 00:41:55.360 --> 00:41:57.039 if this guy gets third water and the wine... 00:41:57.039 --> 00:41:59.059 There would be some kind of record of that. He's 00:41:59.059 --> 00:42:01.920 like, hey man, he meets like a 19 year old and 00:42:01.920 --> 00:42:03.840 he's like, I bet you were hot when you were 14 00:42:03.840 --> 00:42:12.739 and he turns 14. Oh man. That's why you're going 00:42:12.739 --> 00:42:18.269 home. Come on, bro. That's what I'm talking about. 00:42:22.969 --> 00:42:26.329 I just answer questions everybody wants to know. 00:42:27.059 --> 00:42:29.760 I'm a journalist. Is that what you'd do? You'd 00:42:29.760 --> 00:42:32.199 see a 19 -year -old and fucking say, I bet you 00:42:32.199 --> 00:42:35.159 were pretty hot when you were 14. No, not at 00:42:35.159 --> 00:42:37.000 all. I'd just say in the fictitious world of 00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:39.440 Jesus being the man, if he can turn water into 00:42:39.440 --> 00:42:42.019 wine, he can walk on water, and he can be like, 00:42:42.219 --> 00:42:43.880 hey, I bet you were hotter when you were younger. 00:42:47.619 --> 00:42:50.639 He just throws that one in there really quick. 00:42:52.059 --> 00:43:07.130 He tries to catch them off guard. He said don't 00:43:07.130 --> 00:43:15.090 write Wait a minute Repeat that one Jesus Actually, 00:43:15.090 --> 00:43:18.269 you talk about Muhammad, but that's enough a 00:43:18.269 --> 00:43:23.469 write it down, huh? He was down the clown Muhammad 00:43:23.469 --> 00:43:27.170 was down the clown. Not Muhammad probably, you 00:43:27.170 --> 00:43:30.650 know, not the Gandhi one How about the Dalai 00:43:30.650 --> 00:43:33.849 Lama getting money from the CIA? Dalai Lama probably 00:43:33.849 --> 00:43:37.429 touch kids, too You think there's pictures of 00:43:37.429 --> 00:43:40.289 them tongue -kissing one? Oh, is there? Yeah! 00:43:40.289 --> 00:43:43.150 This motherfucker just tongue -kissed a kid in 00:43:43.150 --> 00:43:46.050 front of like 50 ,000 people. It was a religious 00:43:46.050 --> 00:43:50.320 experience No, he's gonna go jerk off to the 00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:52.860 head later. That's all it was. It was for a spank 00:43:52.860 --> 00:43:57.460 bank. I mean, think about that. There's like 00:43:57.460 --> 00:44:01.880 these notorious pedos in this world. Wasn't the 00:44:01.880 --> 00:44:04.280 Dalai Lama really was tongue -kissing a child? 00:44:04.500 --> 00:44:05.860 Yeah, I could draw a picture of that. Oh man, 00:44:06.239 --> 00:44:08.599 that fucking asshole. You think that guy was 00:44:08.599 --> 00:44:10.159 great? We talked about how the CIA - I never 00:44:10.159 --> 00:44:12.019 thought he was great. We talked about how the 00:44:12.019 --> 00:44:13.239 CIA was giving him - I didn't think he was doing 00:44:13.239 --> 00:44:22.190 that. That ain't cool. Tongue -kissing kids? 00:44:22.949 --> 00:44:24.909 Eh, we don't fuck it. We frown about that shit 00:44:24.909 --> 00:44:28.329 around here. That's right, though. Laura, our 00:44:28.329 --> 00:44:31.429 savior Jesus Christ, will take two bullets and 00:44:31.429 --> 00:44:34.429 put it right to your throat, pedophiles. We all 00:44:34.429 --> 00:44:38.110 deserve to die, right, Larry? Mm -hmm. Well... 00:44:38.110 --> 00:44:41.489 Well, wait a minute! Who's gonna do the shooting 00:44:41.489 --> 00:44:44.309 when you say Jesus Christ is gonna put the bullets? 00:44:44.389 --> 00:44:48.159 That's the part I'm... Through you? Man, I'm 00:44:48.159 --> 00:44:50.940 high. Is he gonna do it through you? Huh? He's 00:44:50.940 --> 00:44:53.420 gonna do it through you? Yes, and my vessel, 00:44:53.500 --> 00:44:56.920 my body's a vessel. For Jesus. Yes, for Jesus. 00:44:57.980 --> 00:45:01.960 So when I go to court, I can say, now you're 00:45:01.960 --> 00:45:04.960 my backup and the good Lord. The world knows, 00:45:05.219 --> 00:45:07.960 and so does... We have to bring Spaulding up 00:45:07.960 --> 00:45:15.000 as a witness, as a character witness. Uncle Needles. 00:45:16.750 --> 00:45:21.590 If he's a good guy or not Yeah, they won't listen 00:45:21.590 --> 00:45:25.489 to a kid who won't in court, huh? I'm criminal 00:45:25.489 --> 00:45:28.110 court. What do you mean? You have once you're 00:45:28.110 --> 00:45:29.730 too much long -order more fun They don't let 00:45:29.730 --> 00:45:32.309 they don't let kids testify in court. My wife 00:45:32.309 --> 00:45:36.289 was a fucking public defender. No Even in divorce 00:45:36.289 --> 00:45:39.599 court the kids The kids' testimony is always 00:45:39.599 --> 00:45:42.079 iffy. They're not redacted, but they're not. 00:45:42.199 --> 00:45:45.019 But it's not taken with the same weight. Well, 00:45:45.019 --> 00:45:46.739 they don't have to come up on the stand is what 00:45:46.739 --> 00:45:48.780 you're saying. No, but even if they do, they're 00:45:48.780 --> 00:45:51.420 still not taking on the same weight, you know, 00:45:51.519 --> 00:45:56.300 because they're kids and the kids' emotions can 00:45:56.300 --> 00:46:00.099 get in the way. And also. An outside influence 00:46:00.099 --> 00:46:03.619 with a kid could fucking make the kid's memory, 00:46:03.699 --> 00:46:06.539 you know, create false memories for him and shit. 00:46:06.559 --> 00:46:08.300 They could do that. Yeah, they're children. It's 00:46:08.300 --> 00:46:10.019 called MKUltra, Larry. Have you ever heard of 00:46:10.019 --> 00:46:12.679 it? Yeah. Well, that's why they don't fucking 00:46:12.679 --> 00:46:16.260 take a kid seriously in court. Because they know 00:46:16.260 --> 00:46:19.639 that anybody can manipulate a kid. They can fucking 00:46:19.639 --> 00:46:21.880 do whatever they want to a child's mind. These 00:46:21.880 --> 00:46:24.820 child priests, they use like your like your childish 00:46:24.820 --> 00:46:32.389 mind. My childish mind. Yeah. How should I entail 00:46:32.389 --> 00:46:36.750 my childish mind? I don't know, how? I just like 00:46:36.750 --> 00:46:40.429 to entice it with - What do kids like? Coming 00:46:40.429 --> 00:46:42.829 from a man who can't be about fucking 500 yards 00:46:42.829 --> 00:46:46.289 from the playground, you tell me what it's like, 00:46:46.510 --> 00:46:50.480 Larry. Unlike you, I can ride my bike next to 00:46:50.480 --> 00:46:53.500 a school. I can ride my bike next to a school. 00:46:53.559 --> 00:46:55.860 Yeah, very quickly though, because you're not 00:46:55.860 --> 00:47:02.599 supposed to be there. I have to be in 10th gear. 00:47:05.559 --> 00:47:10.500 He only gets a couple peaks. 10th gear peaks. 00:47:10.719 --> 00:47:13.139 I'm not supposed to slow down under 13 miles 00:47:13.139 --> 00:47:18.900 an hour. Just pretty fast on the bike. Yeah, 00:47:18.920 --> 00:47:21.539 but I mean you're wanted by the cops. Actually, 00:47:21.559 --> 00:47:25.400 you know, you shouldn't be by a schoolyard. Fuck 00:47:25.400 --> 00:47:27.980 you. You're the one. I love how when they have, 00:47:27.980 --> 00:47:31.539 you know, they have the thing up, you know, the 00:47:31.539 --> 00:47:35.400 digital thing that reads when you come by. Yeah. 00:47:35.780 --> 00:47:38.519 So you gotta slow down in front of a schoolyard. 00:47:38.519 --> 00:47:41.539 Yeah. You're just two miles an hour just cruising. 00:47:43.240 --> 00:47:47.400 Hey, why are you going so slow? Hey, you need 00:47:47.400 --> 00:47:52.820 better form on you throw. Let me teach you Dude 00:47:52.820 --> 00:48:01.719 speed up on the cops Mr. You should be on the 00:48:01.719 --> 00:48:05.639 other side of the fence. Mm -hmm How did you 00:48:05.639 --> 00:48:11.610 get in here? I don't even know. It's so funny. 00:48:11.909 --> 00:48:13.889 I don't even know what you're saying. I know. 00:48:14.409 --> 00:48:17.210 The hell. It's just me being stupid and fucking 00:48:17.210 --> 00:48:23.969 retarded. So, Spalding's mom, I don't know. Oh, 00:48:23.969 --> 00:48:26.309 man. We said in the last episode how she was 00:48:26.309 --> 00:48:28.409 going to Africa on the Carnival Cruise. She kinda 00:48:28.409 --> 00:48:30.210 got a beer with us, man. We're on mushrooms. 00:48:30.230 --> 00:48:33.829 But tonight we found out that she actually had 00:48:33.829 --> 00:48:38.489 to get, uh... Helicopter lifted off of the Chinook 00:48:38.489 --> 00:48:45.050 off of the Off of the ship for fighting She was 00:48:45.050 --> 00:48:50.030 fighting at the buffet They ran out of crab legs 00:48:50.030 --> 00:48:53.230 She beat the shit out of one of the workers and 00:48:53.230 --> 00:48:55.349 how the fuck you run out of crab legs in the 00:48:55.349 --> 00:49:00.969 middle of the sea What the fuck? Yeah, she didn't 00:49:00.969 --> 00:49:03.889 play though The guy who's running the ma 'am. 00:49:03.889 --> 00:49:06.610 We don't catch crabs. I don't give a fuck. This 00:49:06.610 --> 00:49:10.070 is here whitey, but listen, I brought my 19 sisters 00:49:10.070 --> 00:49:33.480 with me But sir And So, you know nobody bought 00:49:33.480 --> 00:49:36.699 I'm she got fucking removed from the ship for 00:49:36.699 --> 00:49:39.079 causing such a ruckus They couldn't calm the 00:49:39.079 --> 00:49:42.659 bitch down cuz yeah fictitious babies mama's 00:49:42.659 --> 00:49:44.820 talking about Spalding's mother. We have nothing 00:49:44.820 --> 00:49:58.639 else to talk about What the fuck man, okay, so 00:49:58.639 --> 00:50:01.960 then let's see Hmm. All right. Talked about people 00:50:01.960 --> 00:50:06.679 getting shot with ice. Yeah. Talked about NASA. 00:50:06.739 --> 00:50:08.900 Here's my thing with the ice thing. Like they 00:50:08.900 --> 00:50:13.019 should do like the old days in Chicago. With 00:50:13.019 --> 00:50:16.960 the DNC with Richard Daly. Yeah, I know. Just 00:50:16.960 --> 00:50:18.980 said that like a national convention. Shoot at 00:50:18.980 --> 00:50:23.539 will. But it wasn't shoot at will. They went 00:50:23.539 --> 00:50:25.280 and cracked skulls. They didn't kill anybody. 00:50:26.820 --> 00:50:31.119 But. They said when there was, uh, first of all, 00:50:31.119 --> 00:50:35.760 excuse me, those in Grant Park, which is a, I 00:50:35.760 --> 00:50:37.980 mean, if you, if you're not from Chicago, it's 00:50:37.980 --> 00:50:39.860 a huge fucking part. It's right in the middle 00:50:39.860 --> 00:50:43.059 of downtown. The cops can't control them and 00:50:43.059 --> 00:50:45.420 just beat the shit out of them. It's come on. 00:50:45.480 --> 00:50:47.940 It's all fucking faking gay layer. Pretty much 00:50:47.940 --> 00:50:49.719 your fence. But I'm going to tell you right now, 00:50:49.780 --> 00:50:52.500 there's nothing better than cracking hippie skulls. 00:50:52.500 --> 00:50:55.000 Yeah, that has got to be the ultimate drug rush. 00:50:55.340 --> 00:50:58.829 We'll never experience it. Well, My uncle was 00:50:58.829 --> 00:51:02.949 uh He was in the National Guard or some bullshit 00:51:02.949 --> 00:51:05.309 at the time Does he even know the origin of the 00:51:05.309 --> 00:51:07.750 story? But okay, that's a good way to start and 00:51:07.750 --> 00:51:11.090 he said it was terrible. He hated it What was 00:51:11.090 --> 00:51:16.050 terrible? The fucking 69 Democratic Convention 00:51:16.050 --> 00:51:19.730 Said it was fucking horrible. I mean you just 00:51:19.730 --> 00:51:22.800 you know, I mean you are the ultimate A lot of 00:51:22.800 --> 00:51:25.260 these people are just fucking on reserves. They 00:51:25.260 --> 00:51:27.099 don't want to be, they don't do it. And then 00:51:27.099 --> 00:51:30.000 all of a sudden they get called in. And now you 00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:33.079 got to snap to and fucking I you know, it's not 00:51:33.079 --> 00:51:35.800 your bad. No, you know what I mean the fucking 00:51:35.800 --> 00:51:39.340 corruption was so Yeah, but he wasn't getting 00:51:39.340 --> 00:51:41.699 any of the good corruption money. He was just 00:51:41.699 --> 00:51:45.139 Yeah, it's funny. That's let me tell you that's 00:51:45.139 --> 00:51:47.960 worked up. He said it was terrible Spitting in 00:51:47.960 --> 00:51:51.860 his face and shit, huh shine spitting in your 00:51:51.860 --> 00:51:59.670 face. Yeah, okay I mean, you couldn't give me 00:51:59.670 --> 00:52:03.269 a billion dollars after that. Yeah. And so, you 00:52:03.269 --> 00:52:05.449 know, it makes these guys want to crack stars. 00:52:05.449 --> 00:52:08.329 Do you want to talk about reparations? Black 00:52:08.329 --> 00:52:11.710 guys spit in my face. There's his reparations. 00:52:16.200 --> 00:52:18.619 So and basically they're out there with I don't 00:52:18.619 --> 00:52:21.000 even think these guys had guns or anything It 00:52:21.000 --> 00:52:23.860 was just beat people with these fucking nightsticks. 00:52:23.860 --> 00:52:27.380 You know what I mean? Well, that's fucking dangerous 00:52:29.420 --> 00:52:34.059 I mean, first of all, these dumb hippies out 00:52:34.059 --> 00:52:36.739 there with their stupid fucking wooden signs 00:52:36.739 --> 00:52:39.219 and they're all on drugs and then all of a sudden 00:52:39.219 --> 00:52:42.280 the fucking the meat police come out and they 00:52:42.280 --> 00:52:46.079 just start brandishing their sticks and you're 00:52:46.079 --> 00:52:54.750 like What do you want to do? Daily's are a thief. 00:52:55.110 --> 00:52:59.070 Crap. You know what I mean? It's all the fucking 00:52:59.070 --> 00:53:02.630 same bullshit, dude. Listen, it's the same fucking 00:53:02.630 --> 00:53:05.170 turd. But same with these guys now. It's the 00:53:05.170 --> 00:53:07.409 same turd, different shitter, when you look at 00:53:07.409 --> 00:53:09.389 it in the government. And I'm gonna patent that. 00:53:09.650 --> 00:53:12.070 That's a good one. Doesn't even make sense, but 00:53:12.070 --> 00:53:13.769 you could patent that. No, it's the same turd 00:53:13.769 --> 00:53:16.090 they give you, but a different guy shitting it. 00:53:16.670 --> 00:53:19.409 So it's like Trump is doing the fucking, giving 00:53:19.409 --> 00:53:22.070 us the same turd. heard the fucking is Biden 00:53:22.070 --> 00:53:24.789 did this and man they fucking create a problem 00:53:24.789 --> 00:53:28.730 like we said this could be another shit sandwich 00:53:28.730 --> 00:53:37.409 have a bite this guy's gonna fucking die that 00:53:37.409 --> 00:53:42.570 could be the motto his side hurts cuz he's laughing 00:53:42.570 --> 00:53:53.980 so hard Here's another shit sandwich, have a 00:53:53.980 --> 00:54:00.880 bite. My diabetes. Got nine beers in front of 00:54:00.880 --> 00:54:09.500 me. This is stupid now. It really is. You're 00:54:09.500 --> 00:54:12.059 fucking stupid. This is genius. You're a fucking 00:54:12.059 --> 00:54:14.059 retard. Get the fuck out of here. Everything 00:54:14.059 --> 00:54:17.699 I say is fucking genius. Fuck you ass clown. 00:54:17.920 --> 00:54:22.000 Dude, come on. Think about it. Okay. Think about 00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:27.599 how retarded you are. No. Yeah. Fucking brilliant. 00:54:27.880 --> 00:54:33.320 Yeah. You okay. Listen, the only thing you Sigmund 00:54:33.320 --> 00:54:36.159 Freud and fucking Einstein having to review, 00:54:36.420 --> 00:54:47.239 they're both kid touchers. You got a PhD in whatever. 00:54:49.179 --> 00:54:53.079 Man, we fizzle out quick. Nah, it's you fizzling 00:54:53.079 --> 00:54:56.420 out. I got a million of them. Well, keep going 00:54:56.420 --> 00:55:08.280 then, sucker. Shit, man. I mean, this is where 00:55:08.280 --> 00:55:16.019 I got a deal. It's fucking retard. So then do 00:55:16.019 --> 00:55:19.619 we pretend that everything is good right now? 00:55:24.900 --> 00:55:29.199 Satanists fucking pedophiles. How about the thing 00:55:29.199 --> 00:55:33.940 and not in the fucking? capital building in Minnesota 00:55:33.940 --> 00:55:42.480 Dedicated this You know what listen man Here's 00:55:42.480 --> 00:55:45.119 the deal That's some wild shit. Every church 00:55:45.119 --> 00:55:47.840 wants to be a church, and then after they become 00:55:47.840 --> 00:55:52.119 a church, then they can fuck with kids. Especially 00:55:52.119 --> 00:55:54.280 the Satanists, because they're not even hiding 00:55:54.280 --> 00:55:55.599 it. Or do weird sex stuff. Because they're part 00:55:55.599 --> 00:55:57.000 of the... Between them, you know what I mean? 00:55:57.019 --> 00:56:00.300 Sex magic and shit, you know? No, I mean, uh, 00:56:00.739 --> 00:56:02.119 sex... Isn't that... Doesn't that sound like 00:56:02.119 --> 00:56:05.280 fun? Not really. Sounds bad for the recipient. 00:56:05.619 --> 00:56:08.900 It sounds terrible for the recipient. If I'm 00:56:08.900 --> 00:56:10.940 getting all gacked out and I'm just hanging out 00:56:10.940 --> 00:56:13.920 with this chicken, she's like, let's draw a pentagram 00:56:13.920 --> 00:56:16.519 and have sex. I'm like stupid. Hell no, bitch. 00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:18.760 It sounds like a lot of work, and I don't know 00:56:18.760 --> 00:56:20.480 where we're going to get goat blood at this time 00:56:20.480 --> 00:56:23.340 of night. All right? Exactly. Just give me your 00:56:23.340 --> 00:56:25.920 butthole, and let's have fun. Because you're 00:56:25.920 --> 00:56:27.940 a sodomite. Well, yeah, because that's where 00:56:27.940 --> 00:56:33.840 the fucking... Needle's a sodomizer. I should 00:56:33.840 --> 00:56:38.800 make a t -shirt out of this. Needles and satellite. 00:56:43.980 --> 00:56:46.880 I mean, I don't even know what the picture would 00:56:46.880 --> 00:56:51.280 be. What would the picture be? And the shirt. 00:56:53.240 --> 00:56:56.519 Before I knew any better, I was a sodomite too, 00:56:56.559 --> 00:56:59.079 but here's the thing, once I learned... You stopped 00:56:59.079 --> 00:57:03.159 getting pussy and ass. No, but once I learned 00:57:03.159 --> 00:57:06.219 what the fuck was going on with the Lord, I didn't 00:57:06.219 --> 00:57:09.139 want to fucking do sodomy no more like you, you 00:57:09.139 --> 00:57:13.179 weirdo. Yeah, but just on yourself, not to anybody 00:57:13.179 --> 00:57:16.320 else. Yeah, how the hell are you gonna do sodomy 00:57:16.320 --> 00:57:23.179 on yourself? Man, I love you so much. You're 00:57:23.179 --> 00:57:28.639 gonna kill me right now. Neal's a sodomizer. 00:57:28.659 --> 00:57:32.579 I'm sorry for her. I'm not gonna do sodomy on 00:57:32.579 --> 00:57:36.699 myself. It's the greatest thing you ever said. 00:57:38.659 --> 00:57:45.880 An ass dildo, dumbass. Aw. Aw, man. Fuck it, 00:57:45.940 --> 00:57:53.670 my little retarded nerd. I Don't go for artificial 00:57:53.670 --> 00:58:04.230 fucking shit What do you mean what am I talking 00:58:04.230 --> 00:58:21.159 about artificial fucking All right, let's talk 00:58:21.159 --> 00:58:25.679 about the government. Okay. How they sodomize 00:58:25.679 --> 00:58:30.659 us. Tulsi Gabbard. Yay or nay? Wait, what? Tulsi 00:58:30.659 --> 00:58:33.940 Gabbard. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tulsi Gabbard, 00:58:34.079 --> 00:58:36.280 yeah. Wasn't she like a stripper? I'd fucking 00:58:36.280 --> 00:58:41.900 do her in a second. Huh? I'd do Tulsi in a second. 00:58:42.199 --> 00:58:44.079 You should apply to be her fucking pro. Probably 00:58:44.079 --> 00:58:49.980 take me a second. To what? It's a nut. You'd 00:58:49.980 --> 00:58:58.619 just smile at her and you'd be like... You knew 00:58:58.619 --> 00:59:01.480 what else? Jackson Pollock on your jeans. Yeah, 00:59:01.599 --> 00:59:04.340 it'll be like a Jackson Pollock painting. Fucking, 00:59:04.539 --> 00:59:09.400 how about, uh, uh, Bobert? That slutty one that 00:59:09.400 --> 00:59:12.179 was jacking off the guy in the movie theater. 00:59:13.480 --> 00:59:16.380 Bitch, you can't be jerking dudes off. And she's 00:59:16.380 --> 00:59:18.340 like, fuck you, I'm a senator. I can do whatever 00:59:18.340 --> 00:59:21.519 I want. Congresswoman. You can jerk any dude. 00:59:21.519 --> 00:59:24.400 I think she's great. What do you mean? I love 00:59:24.400 --> 00:59:26.139 her. She was like, yeah, man, I can just jerk 00:59:26.139 --> 00:59:28.300 anybody I want. You can do whatever I want. Yeah, 00:59:28.420 --> 00:59:31.179 man, I'm gonna jerk this dude off. So what if 00:59:31.179 --> 00:59:35.639 we're in a public place? I mean, that fucking 00:59:35.639 --> 00:59:40.099 video was better than 9 -11 days. It was more 00:59:40.099 --> 00:59:43.460 real. Well, no, but it was, as I'm saying, it 00:59:43.460 --> 00:59:47.760 wasn't real. No, you don't think so? No. So they 00:59:47.760 --> 00:59:51.500 just, what, made fake videos of Bobert fucking 00:59:51.500 --> 00:59:57.940 jerking someone off? Yeah. I mean, you said it, 00:59:57.940 --> 01:00:03.269 I didn't. You think that's real? Oh, man. I don't 01:00:03.269 --> 01:00:05.710 know. Exactly. I like to think so. It's just 01:00:05.710 --> 01:00:11.130 funny. Let's make this fucking video. She's cute. 01:00:11.369 --> 01:00:13.750 She's definitely cute. Dude, she's a fucking 01:00:13.750 --> 01:00:16.889 weirdo. What do you mean, man? I would do her. 01:00:16.889 --> 01:00:18.210 What do you mean, she's a weirdo? That bitch, 01:00:18.369 --> 01:00:21.230 I mean, she's got Will Chamberlain numbers. What? 01:00:22.050 --> 01:00:24.969 You don't even know who that is, do you? He's 01:00:24.969 --> 01:00:32.679 a fucking, some kind of sports guy. I love you 01:00:32.679 --> 01:00:35.960 Larry, so much. He's some kind of sports guy. 01:00:36.360 --> 01:00:40.420 He claimed that he would have sex with like 100 01:00:40.420 --> 01:00:42.539 ,000 women or something like that. He was a big 01:00:42.539 --> 01:00:48.420 ass shine too. Good for him. Good for Wilt. Wilt 01:00:48.420 --> 01:00:52.019 the stilt thing. He's just a weird ass lanky 01:00:52.019 --> 01:00:56.059 fucking hybrid nigga. So, you know, I don't know, 01:00:56.639 --> 01:01:00.219 put me in her numbers I guess. Whose? Kristen 01:01:00.219 --> 01:01:02.639 Boebert or whatever her name is. Kristen Boebert? 01:01:02.659 --> 01:01:05.539 Christine Boebert. What's her name? Lauren Boebert. 01:01:05.639 --> 01:01:08.800 Lauren Boebert. Jesus, man. I don't know. How 01:01:08.800 --> 01:01:12.639 fucked up are you, bro? Give me your number. 01:01:13.380 --> 01:01:19.400 You just start messaging Christine Boebert. I 01:01:19.400 --> 01:01:21.179 found her in the phone book. Let me see your 01:01:21.179 --> 01:01:25.440 underwear. See, not Larry's not like that. Who 01:01:25.440 --> 01:01:28.639 else, man? Who else what? What other politicians? 01:01:30.679 --> 01:01:37.679 No, the one I really like the most is Anna Paulina 01:01:37.679 --> 01:01:40.380 Luna talking about a siap. That bitch sounds 01:01:40.380 --> 01:01:43.039 like some sort of moon cycle. Oh, dude. She's 01:01:43.039 --> 01:01:45.260 hot. She is like a moon cycle. First of all, 01:01:45.380 --> 01:01:48.719 she shouldn't be... She was... She shouldn't 01:01:48.719 --> 01:01:50.420 even be in this country with that name. Nah, 01:01:50.539 --> 01:01:52.679 she shouldn't. She's fucking good -looking and 01:01:52.679 --> 01:01:57.619 she is a... She was a swimsuit model. Good. Ship 01:01:57.619 --> 01:02:02.349 her back to Mexico. No, man, keep her here. She's 01:02:02.349 --> 01:02:05.909 fucking hotter than shit. She's beautiful. You 01:02:05.909 --> 01:02:09.809 don't know who she is. Man, she is one of the 01:02:09.809 --> 01:02:11.670 hottest fucking... Why would you compare ladies? 01:02:11.929 --> 01:02:14.309 She's hotter than shit. She's hot as fuck. Because 01:02:14.309 --> 01:02:17.590 this is a fucking turd pile. I really compare, 01:02:17.829 --> 01:02:20.550 she's hotter than shit. She's hot as fuck. It's 01:02:20.550 --> 01:02:23.690 horrible. It's the worst comparison ever. And 01:02:23.690 --> 01:02:26.809 I'm finally gonna say it out loud. She's hotter 01:02:26.809 --> 01:02:30.150 than shit. She's hot as fuck. How about that? 01:02:31.010 --> 01:02:34.849 She's hot as fuck, man. She's hot. Nice fucking 01:02:34.849 --> 01:02:38.429 body. Beautiful. She's really pretty. She's a 01:02:38.429 --> 01:02:42.510 succubus. Beautiful face. Long fucking hair. 01:02:43.110 --> 01:02:46.170 She works for the cartel. She fucking works for 01:02:46.170 --> 01:02:50.469 probably the CIA. Oh yeah. Forget the cartel. 01:02:51.909 --> 01:02:53.570 The cartel works for her. Where do you think 01:02:53.570 --> 01:02:57.170 the cartel fucking started from? Word. Right? 01:02:57.590 --> 01:02:59.309 And then you figure out, oh my god, they're getting 01:02:59.309 --> 01:03:01.670 trained from the massage. But you know, she is 01:03:01.670 --> 01:03:05.750 the complete package Psy -Op. Fucking... Yeah, 01:03:05.929 --> 01:03:07.949 I mean, she's a cutie patootie, but that's alright 01:03:07.949 --> 01:03:11.289 though. But that's why you're gonna get fucking... 01:03:11.289 --> 01:03:16.730 Honey Pied! Yeah! It all boils. Look at that. 01:03:16.869 --> 01:03:19.030 Look, I love how you keep on laughing like a 01:03:19.030 --> 01:03:20.510 dumb retard. Well, here's the thing. I'm just 01:03:20.510 --> 01:03:23.289 like, oh, she's got a vagina and boobies, and 01:03:23.289 --> 01:03:25.389 she wants me to look at them. And you're like, 01:03:25.489 --> 01:03:27.550 hee -hee -hee -hee. Like a little Japanese broad. 01:03:27.550 --> 01:03:30.110 Like you want to get honey -potted. Huh? Like 01:03:30.110 --> 01:03:33.570 you can't. Like you're impervious. To what? Getting 01:03:33.570 --> 01:03:35.670 honey -potted. By who? You're just a stupid, 01:03:36.030 --> 01:03:41.050 well, who's going to honey -pot me? Well, I don't 01:03:41.050 --> 01:03:45.239 know. Asians? They want our technology. They 01:03:45.239 --> 01:03:48.179 want our masters for the show. Well, I don't 01:03:48.179 --> 01:03:52.659 have any technology for the Asians. Mostly all 01:03:52.659 --> 01:03:55.940 I come in contact with... Mostly all I come in 01:03:55.940 --> 01:03:58.760 contact with are fucking bartenders and fucking... 01:03:58.760 --> 01:04:01.159 The Chinese would kidnap you and you're like, 01:04:01.340 --> 01:04:04.719 oh man, I love it in Hong Kong. They're like, 01:04:04.840 --> 01:04:07.940 you're in Woodfield, motherfucker. You're at 01:04:07.940 --> 01:04:15.719 P .F. Chang's, motherfucker. You have chains 01:04:15.719 --> 01:04:18.519 right now. What do you want? Colonel Chow's chicken 01:04:18.519 --> 01:04:24.320 or whatever? General Chow. Man, you're returning 01:04:24.320 --> 01:04:28.000 something. No, I said all I'd come in contact 01:04:28.000 --> 01:04:30.639 with would honey pot me. It would be like the 01:04:30.639 --> 01:04:35.059 Mexican waitresses or the fucking bartender at 01:04:35.059 --> 01:04:39.539 the places I go to. And you know, and I mean, 01:04:39.559 --> 01:04:43.159 you know, and I'll bring the Eagles. No, are 01:04:43.159 --> 01:04:45.699 you sure? Yeah, I'm damn sure that or not be 01:04:45.699 --> 01:04:48.039 Larry There's no one here at my house except 01:04:48.039 --> 01:04:50.239 me and my wife. No, but you know where they're 01:04:50.239 --> 01:04:56.400 at when you go out. Oh, yeah The guilt of admission 01:04:56.400 --> 01:04:59.739 everywhere I go could be anywhere I hang out 01:04:59.739 --> 01:05:06.230 could be an illegal waitress That's a could be 01:05:06.230 --> 01:05:08.550 a nice rate in any minute everywhere. I fucking 01:05:08.550 --> 01:05:11.750 go, but here's the thing Who cares? It's kind 01:05:11.750 --> 01:05:14.769 of hot to watch. Yeah get arrested getting their 01:05:14.769 --> 01:05:18.590 handcuffs behind them and shit Me trying to explain 01:05:18.590 --> 01:05:21.170 that I'm an American and stuff. It's all excited. 01:05:21.170 --> 01:05:31.429 I'm their lawyer No, I need to retain her possessions 01:05:33.670 --> 01:05:36.050 Any waitresses that have any coke in your purse 01:05:36.050 --> 01:05:44.730 you better give it to me right now They're just 01:05:44.730 --> 01:05:48.130 confiscating drugs You definitely are a CIA. 01:05:48.130 --> 01:05:51.050 You don't want them to get it. Oh, you're getting 01:05:51.050 --> 01:05:56.210 more Yeah, I just tell them you get more trouble 01:05:56.210 --> 01:05:58.190 if you get caught with this you're better off 01:05:58.190 --> 01:06:00.269 giving it to me right now I'll go do it in the 01:06:00.269 --> 01:06:05.840 bathroom So you're saying Chad follow. I'll keep 01:06:05.840 --> 01:06:10.679 you safe I'll do your blow. I'll hide your secret. 01:06:10.699 --> 01:06:12.920 I'll do your blow so I can keep you safe. Your 01:06:12.920 --> 01:06:16.000 secret is safe between me. Me and my fucking 01:06:16.000 --> 01:06:19.860 self and yourself. And Spalding. And Spalding. 01:06:19.940 --> 01:06:23.500 I gotta tell him everything. He's my son He knows 01:06:23.500 --> 01:06:29.079 everything He's all seen. He can't testify in 01:06:29.079 --> 01:06:31.099 court though. I mean he was caught in an Asian 01:06:31.099 --> 01:06:35.940 ladies garage sale Well, I mean if you get it's 01:06:35.940 --> 01:06:38.760 like a fucking mogwai Spalding you know what 01:06:38.760 --> 01:06:40.840 else so that's better. We think that's better 01:06:40.840 --> 01:06:45.320 than adopting a kitten Though I saved him you 01:06:45.320 --> 01:06:49.079 got him at our friends garage sale mm -hmm that 01:06:49.079 --> 01:06:53.699 is a known to play my John a real friend of the 01:06:53.699 --> 01:07:11.630 dragon lady Man -butterfly type. She's a real 01:07:11.630 --> 01:07:19.730 dragon lady, so to speak. Ah, you want my baby. 01:07:20.469 --> 01:07:27.239 I saw you baby. I saw you, baby, for $100. Oh, 01:07:27.260 --> 01:07:30.400 come on, man. I said, hell no, $100, are you 01:07:30.400 --> 01:07:35.699 fucking crazy? A peek in the truck. And then, 01:07:36.199 --> 01:07:39.900 uh... Mm -hmm. Yeah. Then, yeah, what? I fucking 01:07:39.900 --> 01:07:42.420 chewed her down, and I got twatling for, like, 01:07:42.539 --> 01:07:45.480 20 bucks. That is so anti -Semitic. What you 01:07:45.480 --> 01:07:48.380 just said right there. We do not believe in that 01:07:48.380 --> 01:07:52.860 Nullarian ego. Sometimes it just comes out with 01:07:52.860 --> 01:07:57.199 this old -school racist. We do not believe in 01:07:57.199 --> 01:08:00.320 that talk. I talked her down in price. And how 01:08:00.320 --> 01:08:08.420 much did you her down? Like 80 bucks. And then 01:08:08.420 --> 01:08:13.960 she sent ninjas after her. Her kids look like 01:08:13.960 --> 01:08:23.630 ninjas. Yeah. And then? I don't know. I don't 01:08:23.630 --> 01:08:28.170 want to talk shit about Sue's daughter. How cute 01:08:28.170 --> 01:08:31.609 she is and everything. Because Jay might watch 01:08:31.609 --> 01:08:34.619 this. I don't want to say that Sue's daughter 01:08:34.619 --> 01:08:37.180 is fucking hot and all that. Jesus, you just 01:08:37.180 --> 01:08:40.659 did, dude. You're so retarded. I mean, you can't 01:08:40.659 --> 01:08:43.760 fucking help yourself. You're the stupidest person 01:08:43.760 --> 01:08:46.319 I know. And I love you more than... And I'm just 01:08:46.319 --> 01:08:49.239 joking about it. You're just so stupid, you are. 01:08:49.600 --> 01:08:52.539 I know what you're doing. I know you know what 01:08:52.539 --> 01:08:56.760 you're doing. Fucking retarded man over here. 01:08:57.239 --> 01:09:05.630 I think she's... Calm down hot rod go spin your 01:09:05.630 --> 01:09:08.550 wheels back there. She's at least like 19 or 01:09:08.550 --> 01:09:13.310 20 or something. So It's not some weird shit. 01:09:13.310 --> 01:09:18.970 So what do you think about green? About moving 01:09:18.970 --> 01:09:23.470 there I mean, do you really think Greenland is 01:09:23.470 --> 01:09:30.480 a sustainable place for the Larian needles? Well, 01:09:30.480 --> 01:09:32.960 depends, man. Are they giving away free shit 01:09:32.960 --> 01:09:36.939 there? Like a house or something for U .S. citizens? 01:09:37.760 --> 01:09:40.819 I mean, would they have to? No. I think you could 01:09:40.819 --> 01:09:43.760 just go hang out in some whale pub bar and fucking... 01:09:43.760 --> 01:09:45.840 Here's the thing, though, man. You better get 01:09:45.840 --> 01:09:48.399 a shelter going that's pretty sturdy pretty quick 01:09:48.399 --> 01:09:51.479 because... This isn't the Tundra! Well, here's 01:09:51.479 --> 01:09:53.060 the thing. We're not Tundra, my man. We have 01:09:53.060 --> 01:09:56.310 polar bears and shit. This isn't the Arctic. 01:09:56.729 --> 01:09:59.449 Yeah, it is. They got wild animals and shit. 01:09:59.470 --> 01:10:05.210 Yeah, you They also have Polar Bears. They would 01:10:05.210 --> 01:10:08.750 be hilarious if they used the Polar Bears. All 01:10:08.750 --> 01:10:10.930 of a sudden everybody has some form of super 01:10:10.930 --> 01:10:13.050 AIDS. And they'll kill you. Polar Bears are brutal, 01:10:13.390 --> 01:10:15.409 man. You're my favorite animal. Polar Bears. 01:10:15.710 --> 01:10:17.390 Yeah, until they're fucking dripping your heart. 01:10:18.210 --> 01:10:20.210 When I was a little kid, we fucking went to the 01:10:20.210 --> 01:10:22.569 Brookfield Zoo. Polar Bears are great because 01:10:22.569 --> 01:10:25.390 they had the largest paws to shred you with. 01:10:25.770 --> 01:10:27.510 Well, no, the motherfucker was playing with the 01:10:27.510 --> 01:10:29.729 keg of beer. Yeah, they're awesome. I love the 01:10:29.729 --> 01:10:31.670 Polar Bears, too. Thanks for just ruining my 01:10:31.670 --> 01:10:34.109 story, Larry. Well, no. Just like my childhood, 01:10:34.189 --> 01:10:37.729 just ruining it. I ruined your childhood, didn't 01:10:37.729 --> 01:10:46.560 I? No, I said... Just like Wojtek. The bear he 01:10:46.560 --> 01:10:49.380 was great. He liked playing in the water, too 01:10:49.380 --> 01:10:52.899 And with kegs and whatever is the most ultimate 01:10:52.899 --> 01:10:56.800 Polak fucking joke ever And it is great. That's 01:10:56.800 --> 01:11:00.649 infantry man a bear and it is great that They 01:11:00.649 --> 01:11:03.029 would throw in the barrel for the bearer to play 01:11:03.029 --> 01:11:05.930 with, just like they did for Wojtek. Because 01:11:05.930 --> 01:11:08.189 back then it's all they had, but I wonder if 01:11:08.189 --> 01:11:10.350 that's why they threw it to the bearer still, 01:11:10.350 --> 01:11:13.270 like at Brookfield Zoo and shit like that. As 01:11:13.270 --> 01:11:17.470 a nod to the cap to Wojtek. Nah, I just think 01:11:17.470 --> 01:11:19.130 some motherfucker was like, put a keg in there 01:11:19.130 --> 01:11:22.430 for them bitches to play with. I mean, really, 01:11:22.550 --> 01:11:24.770 did you just go off on a tangent about I wasn't 01:11:24.770 --> 01:11:27.210 even paying attention to you? Obviously. Yeah, 01:11:27.229 --> 01:11:28.890 because you were just talking about how Voightek 01:11:28.890 --> 01:11:34.949 tipped a hat or something? Exactly. When I repeat 01:11:34.949 --> 01:11:36.630 this shit, you know I'm retarded. That's not 01:11:36.630 --> 01:11:39.470 what I said. No, you just realized I'm retarded. 01:11:40.649 --> 01:11:43.729 Voightek didn't tip a hat. Whatever. He just 01:11:43.729 --> 01:11:47.399 retarded. That's what it boils down to. I can't 01:11:47.399 --> 01:11:49.539 control that. Voightag is a bear, man. Yeah, 01:11:49.539 --> 01:11:51.699 I know, nigga. I know the bear is. Yeah, but 01:11:51.699 --> 01:11:55.260 he didn't tip a hat. Well, why am I not? I said 01:11:55.260 --> 01:11:58.260 the zookeeper snare giving a tip of the hat to 01:11:58.260 --> 01:12:00.819 Voightag by throwing a barrel. Well, did he have 01:12:00.819 --> 01:12:05.119 a hat on and he tipped him back? Do you know 01:12:05.119 --> 01:12:08.220 that? No, I don't know that. Exactly, so fuck 01:12:08.220 --> 01:12:10.319 you. I'm just making it up. You're really just 01:12:10.319 --> 01:12:14.789 trying... I'm just saying what if they're gonna 01:12:14.789 --> 01:12:17.590 fight in about four seconds. No, man. Seriously. 01:12:17.630 --> 01:12:20.989 What if they did that for Voightek? They tipped 01:12:20.989 --> 01:12:22.350 the hat to him? Yeah, they came and tipped the 01:12:22.350 --> 01:12:26.109 hat. What about if Voightek tipped the pen? That's 01:12:26.109 --> 01:12:30.369 really funny. Voightek was dead already. So where 01:12:30.369 --> 01:12:33.729 were they tipping their hat to? His spirit avoid 01:12:33.729 --> 01:12:37.430 tech dude, you're so retarded Who the fuck is 01:12:37.430 --> 01:12:40.869 doing this? Where are they zookeepers everywhere? 01:12:41.210 --> 01:12:45.109 Everywhere where in the world? Everyone knows 01:12:45.109 --> 01:12:47.529 about me. They fucking tip their heads to void 01:12:47.529 --> 01:12:54.329 time. Yeah in unison I don't know if they're 01:12:54.329 --> 01:12:59.850 slow down unison You just as every time every 01:12:59.850 --> 01:13:04.069 time they throw a barrel into the Bears water 01:13:04.069 --> 01:13:14.710 into the water is the tip of the hat. This is 01:13:14.710 --> 01:13:18.569 when a liar gets caught lying This is when a 01:13:18.569 --> 01:13:22.970 dummy this I'm saying Throw in the barrel into 01:13:22.970 --> 01:13:27.079 the water is the tip of the hat You get it, because 01:13:27.079 --> 01:13:30.659 Wojtek liked the barrels. So by throwing the 01:13:30.659 --> 01:13:34.439 bear a barrel, it's a tip of the hat to Wojtek, 01:13:34.619 --> 01:13:36.439 and your bear likes it. You can't even say that 01:13:36.439 --> 01:13:40.060 with a straight face without crying. You're such 01:13:40.060 --> 01:13:42.619 a liar. How could you lie in front of your best 01:13:42.619 --> 01:13:45.720 friend like that? No, man. Oh, I'm just crying. 01:13:45.960 --> 01:13:48.199 I'm just wiping my tears away. I can't even breathe. 01:13:50.159 --> 01:13:52.539 I'm just going to sit here and wipe my tears 01:13:52.539 --> 01:13:56.460 and turn my back to my friend. No, seriously. 01:13:56.739 --> 01:13:59.119 Yeah, what seriously what the tech can't take 01:13:59.119 --> 01:14:03.100 you serious at all Every word that comes out 01:14:03.100 --> 01:14:13.659 of your mouth is a fucking lie Trust you for 01:14:13.659 --> 01:14:17.500 shit you work your front of the massage Yeah, 01:14:17.500 --> 01:14:21.020 I could tell I should take a picture cuz your 01:14:21.020 --> 01:14:25.520 nose is like two inches outside growing It really 01:14:25.520 --> 01:14:28.100 is. With every contribution, it keeps it going. 01:14:28.199 --> 01:14:30.600 With every contribution to the Friends of Zion. 01:14:30.619 --> 01:14:34.619 Holy fuck, look at that schnaz, dude. Fuck, okay, 01:14:34.779 --> 01:14:36.539 ladies and gentlemen, I hate to announce this 01:14:36.539 --> 01:14:41.260 to you, we've been compromised. What an idea. 01:14:42.779 --> 01:14:46.039 Thankfully, Fat Girl is not here, but he probably 01:14:46.039 --> 01:14:48.239 has two slices in his mouth and two bunnies on 01:14:48.239 --> 01:14:53.010 his lap. I saw this really great video. I should 01:14:53.010 --> 01:14:55.729 send it to Kiki. It was the fucking bunny that 01:14:55.729 --> 01:14:59.829 was friends with the kitty and Bunny that was 01:14:59.829 --> 01:15:05.630 friends with the kitties All right pop hop you 01:15:05.630 --> 01:15:09.710 can't discern What the fuck is it? Yeah, I said 01:15:09.710 --> 01:15:12.630 to Mary's it's fucking for real. Yeah, I love 01:15:12.630 --> 01:15:19.989 I asked my wife So I go through a two -boomer 01:15:19.989 --> 01:15:25.090 system. Hey, is this AI? No, honey. Hey, I'm 01:15:25.090 --> 01:15:32.449 Gen X, nigga. What the heck? I'm Gen X. And? 01:15:32.550 --> 01:15:35.069 What was your summation of it? It wasn't a boomer 01:15:35.069 --> 01:15:37.130 system. It was a Gen X fucking dessert. What 01:15:37.130 --> 01:15:39.369 was your summation of the video then? It was 01:15:39.369 --> 01:15:41.590 really cool. I almost sent it to Kiki because 01:15:41.590 --> 01:15:43.770 I know he likes monies. We almost sent it to 01:15:43.770 --> 01:15:46.409 him. Yeah, I didn't. But you forgot. Well, no, 01:15:46.510 --> 01:15:49.069 we were on Echo Wafers. We were on Mary's phone, 01:15:49.189 --> 01:15:51.409 and I don't think his number is in her phone. 01:15:51.930 --> 01:15:55.090 So it would have been sent to my phone and then 01:15:55.090 --> 01:15:57.369 sent to him. So that's why it didn't get done. 01:15:58.529 --> 01:16:01.430 You got a three party system to send text messages. 01:16:01.829 --> 01:16:03.789 Yeah, I wasn't going to go through all that shit. 01:16:05.069 --> 01:16:07.989 I mean, give me a break. Sit down at the mainframe. 01:16:11.819 --> 01:16:17.199 Flip a big fucking switch. Have a good time. 01:16:17.659 --> 01:16:23.020 Child for child for child for child for child 01:16:23.020 --> 01:16:25.300 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:25.300 --> 01:16:25.300 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:25.300 --> 01:16:25.300 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:25.300 --> 01:16:25.300 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:25.300 --> 01:16:25.300 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:25.300 --> 01:16:25.319 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:25.319 --> 01:16:25.319 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:25.319 --> 01:16:25.420 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:25.420 --> 01:16:25.420 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:25.420 --> 01:16:25.420 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:25.420 --> 01:16:28.880 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:28.880 --> 01:16:30.100 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:30.100 --> 01:16:31.020 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:31.020 --> 01:16:31.020 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:31.020 --> 01:16:33.500 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:33.500 --> 01:16:33.500 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:33.500 --> 01:16:35.460 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:35.460 --> 01:16:36.039 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:36.039 --> 01:16:36.039 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:36.039 --> 01:16:36.039 for child for child for child for child for child 01:16:36.039 --> 01:16:56.739 for child for child And that's it man, no more 01:16:56.739 --> 01:17:07.279 computer story Everything was behind the firewall 01:17:08.829 --> 01:17:11.590 I don't like the shit from the bottom of the 01:17:11.590 --> 01:17:15.010 hammock up to the top. Rather run through the 01:17:15.010 --> 01:17:17.170 top of the hammock. You know that about John 01:17:17.170 --> 01:17:20.350 McAfee, right? Mm -hmm. Boy, I like the little 01:17:20.350 --> 01:17:25.149 turd play. Where do you hear all this shit from? 01:17:25.430 --> 01:17:28.470 Why are you so interested in turd play all the 01:17:28.470 --> 01:17:32.029 time? It's disgusting. Is that what you're looking 01:17:32.029 --> 01:17:34.449 up, though, on your computer? No. Your phone 01:17:34.449 --> 01:17:45.279 and shit? P -stuff, yeah, but in no terms. If 01:17:45.279 --> 01:17:48.500 you want an answer, kids gonna give it to you. 01:17:48.880 --> 01:17:51.640 And sometimes you can't handle the truth. Like 01:17:51.640 --> 01:17:56.739 a fake movie, baby. But what do you want to believe? 01:17:57.060 --> 01:17:59.000 Do you want to believe everything is real? Well, 01:17:59.000 --> 01:18:02.819 I saw movies of Cap McAfee and the fucking... 01:18:02.819 --> 01:18:06.130 Who? McAfee, McAfee, whatever the fuck. John 01:18:06.130 --> 01:18:11.130 McAfee. Okay. I'm calling McAfee. Nice tearaway 01:18:11.130 --> 01:18:13.750 pants. You're like fucking Scottie Pippen from 01:18:13.750 --> 01:18:16.350 The Bold. Tearaway? What do you mean? Those are 01:18:16.350 --> 01:18:19.130 like fucking joggers. No, man. These are my lined 01:18:19.130 --> 01:18:25.430 pants. They're lined. Dude, these things are 01:18:25.430 --> 01:18:31.640 fucking great. Super warm. Nothing. Sugar baby 01:18:31.640 --> 01:18:33.739 it up. All right getting back to who we're talking 01:18:33.739 --> 01:18:38.439 about. Mm -hmm Son of a biscuit. Well, you know 01:18:38.439 --> 01:18:41.399 it all comes down to fucking you're being watched 01:18:47.239 --> 01:18:50.079 If there was no more of a truthful statement 01:18:50.079 --> 01:18:54.100 said on mushrooms, right there. You're under 01:18:54.100 --> 01:18:56.640 surveillance right now, actually. We're all under 01:18:56.640 --> 01:18:58.739 surveillance, and as we post this to the web, 01:18:59.039 --> 01:19:02.619 we're letting them take our shit. We're just 01:19:02.619 --> 01:19:05.560 giving it to them. Yeah, I know. We're getting 01:19:05.560 --> 01:19:08.560 fucking retards, man. Maybe we shouldn't do this. 01:19:08.579 --> 01:19:13.119 Four people watching. Two of them are bots and 01:19:13.119 --> 01:19:16.630 the other one's a fucking FBI agent. Oh, that'd 01:19:16.630 --> 01:19:20.949 be hilarious. Oh, what do we got, Chad and fucking 01:19:20.949 --> 01:19:24.550 one of your friends and fucking... Hey, at least 01:19:24.550 --> 01:19:29.409 they're loyal, nigga. That's good. That's all 01:19:29.409 --> 01:19:33.170 right, though. I saw your name on the Epstein 01:19:33.170 --> 01:19:37.689 files and everybody abandoned you. Well, you 01:19:37.689 --> 01:19:40.289 know. Larry Jones. You can't win them all. No. 01:19:40.649 --> 01:19:44.829 You do like a Bon Jovi cover band. I can't help 01:19:44.829 --> 01:19:46.829 but imagine that if you just did like a cover 01:19:46.829 --> 01:19:50.069 band on Epstein's Island and now your name's 01:19:50.069 --> 01:19:53.949 on there. And all of a sudden you're playing 01:19:53.949 --> 01:19:58.229 at some party with your band. Yeah. And you're 01:19:58.229 --> 01:20:05.890 on the flight log. And you're just playing fucking 01:20:05.890 --> 01:20:10.279 80s music. Well, they touch kids in the background. 01:20:11.239 --> 01:20:16.159 No, your name is Tiredness for Life. Yeah. That's 01:20:16.159 --> 01:20:19.180 probably not cool, right? No. They'll do whatever 01:20:19.180 --> 01:20:22.079 they want to you. Well, here's the thing. Whatever 01:20:22.079 --> 01:20:27.760 band would go play at Epstein Island had to know 01:20:27.760 --> 01:20:30.380 what's going on. How do you know that? I don't 01:20:30.380 --> 01:20:32.300 know. Maybe they would get on a jet and bring 01:20:32.300 --> 01:20:35.500 your instruments. Like we're gonna go play a 01:20:35.500 --> 01:20:36.979 gig and the next thing you know, you're on Little 01:20:36.979 --> 01:20:39.720 St. James. You're like, oh, I can see Richard 01:20:39.720 --> 01:20:42.239 Branson's island over there. Is he the guy who's 01:20:42.239 --> 01:20:44.859 got Virgin written on his plane? Yeah, never 01:20:44.859 --> 01:20:48.520 mind him. Never mind the guy who's got Virgin 01:20:48.520 --> 01:20:53.699 written on his plane. That guy's not a threat 01:20:53.699 --> 01:20:59.449 to nobody. He's just like... Virgin! Virgin! 01:20:59.829 --> 01:21:03.850 Virgin! Not even S! This is virgin! It's like... 01:21:03.850 --> 01:21:09.210 Anything. Anything virgin. What can you assimilate 01:21:09.210 --> 01:21:11.689 anything to under virgin? Well you saw the virgin 01:21:11.689 --> 01:21:15.250 record. The virgin records label. Have you ever 01:21:15.250 --> 01:21:17.970 seen the logo on the record label? Virgin records? 01:21:18.130 --> 01:21:23.810 Yeah, but I mean... He's got Necker Island. Necker 01:21:23.810 --> 01:21:26.729 Island, which was in accordance... You know, 01:21:26.989 --> 01:21:29.890 a couple hundred miles maybe from Epstein's Island 01:21:29.890 --> 01:21:33.390 that we talked about. That far? I don't know 01:21:33.390 --> 01:21:35.350 what nautical miles are, nigga. I ain't fuckin' 01:21:35.729 --> 01:21:37.630 seen one, nigga. I got my sea legs on me. I think 01:21:37.630 --> 01:21:43.479 they're more than a regular mile. I want to say 01:21:43.479 --> 01:21:47.140 Nautical... Nautical miles are longer than a 01:21:47.140 --> 01:21:49.039 fucking wagon. Captain Salty the Faggot. Yeah, 01:21:49.039 --> 01:21:53.319 that's hilarious. Oh, you burned me. No, that 01:21:53.319 --> 01:21:57.060 makes me laugh. Captain Salty the Faggot. He 01:21:57.060 --> 01:22:02.960 calls me a retard. You can keep talking. Yeah, 01:22:03.100 --> 01:22:06.439 and so, you know, nautical miles are further. 01:22:06.520 --> 01:22:08.800 That's the fucking question. What am I gonna 01:22:08.800 --> 01:22:14.109 keep talking about? We do a podcast. This is 01:22:14.109 --> 01:22:19.970 your first time doing this. What am I gonna talk 01:22:19.970 --> 01:22:24.069 about? There's nine billion things to talk about. 01:22:24.449 --> 01:22:27.670 They put you on the spot and then you get mad 01:22:27.670 --> 01:22:31.829 at your co -host. What am I gonna talk about? 01:22:32.090 --> 01:22:37.670 What I meant to say is how much more do you want 01:22:37.670 --> 01:22:42.189 me to expound on nautical fucking miles? How 01:22:42.189 --> 01:22:45.810 much more can I talk about? How much more can 01:22:45.810 --> 01:22:51.149 I give to this world? Oh my god, my louche. I'm 01:22:51.149 --> 01:22:54.130 gonna put it all over your face. What is the 01:22:54.130 --> 01:22:58.449 whatever weirdo? All I'm saying is you can only 01:22:58.449 --> 01:23:01.270 talk about nautical miles so much when you don't 01:23:01.270 --> 01:23:04.649 know anything about them. Yeah, exactly. You're 01:23:04.649 --> 01:23:10.750 like John Wayne Gacy over here. How so? How am 01:23:10.750 --> 01:23:14.390 I John Wayne Gacy? How many bodies is he dumping 01:23:14.390 --> 01:23:18.300 in nautical miles? You're the fucking John Wayne 01:23:18.300 --> 01:23:21.640 Gacy. I think I wish I was man. I'm a fucker 01:23:21.640 --> 01:23:27.000 head. I think that's why He had pride and also 01:23:27.000 --> 01:23:31.159 talk about this take pride in what he did, huh? 01:23:32.100 --> 01:23:35.500 He took pride in what he did. Yeah. Oh my god 01:23:35.500 --> 01:23:38.920 Pogo Polish on the coast do the motherfucker 01:23:38.920 --> 01:23:44.220 met Nancy Carter's wife How What do you mean? 01:23:44.420 --> 01:23:46.260 There's pictures of them shaking... Just by being 01:23:46.260 --> 01:23:48.460 head Polak, but I mean, but what... The head 01:23:48.460 --> 01:23:51.220 Polak in charge, while he was killed and doing 01:23:51.220 --> 01:23:54.000 his thing that, you know, we... Listen, man. 01:23:54.760 --> 01:23:58.260 Yeah, oh wait, ugly guy, oh yeah, death rogue 01:23:58.260 --> 01:24:03.779 and executed. What? On May 10th, 1994 or something. 01:24:04.119 --> 01:24:06.279 What the fuck did you just say? I said, Casey 01:24:06.279 --> 01:24:09.823 got killed. So he said, do I remember a guy that... 01:24:10.439 --> 01:24:13.939 Gacy got executed by the state. Oh, my bad. Yeah, 01:24:13.939 --> 01:24:16.560 yeah, yeah. I don't know, man. I don't know when 01:24:16.560 --> 01:24:19.520 he died. Yeah, it was May 10th, 1994. Nigger 01:24:19.520 --> 01:24:22.819 -ass -fucking -unibomber shit over there. It's 01:24:22.819 --> 01:24:28.340 like a unibomber. The sugar baby bomber. Oh, 01:24:28.420 --> 01:24:35.220 yeah. Yeah. Man, now I got to deal with this 01:24:35.220 --> 01:24:37.439 haunted ass for the next four hours. I should 01:24:37.439 --> 01:24:39.960 go listen to Fiddler on the ground. I'm fucking 01:24:39.960 --> 01:24:42.960 stoned. I gotta fucking piss, man. Where's the 01:24:42.960 --> 01:24:53.319 timer we at? Shit, man. Good luck seeing. Shit, 01:24:53.359 --> 01:24:58.859 I thought we were at 24 minutes, but it's an 01:24:58.859 --> 01:25:01.460 hour and 24 minutes. It's fine, shut it off. 01:25:01.560 --> 01:25:05.750 Oh, okay. All right, let me, let me. Man, let 01:25:05.750 --> 01:25:08.789 me play. You're so retarded around me. Let me 01:25:08.789 --> 01:25:11.529 play the outro. Literally, I asked you to shut 01:25:11.529 --> 01:25:15.750 it up. I'm gonna play the music part now. Oh, 01:25:15.750 --> 01:25:19.250 we got two good ones tonight. I might do a third. 01:25:20.750 --> 01:25:22.470 Thank you for tuning in. Mm -hmm.