WEBVTT

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Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles Show.

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Hey everybody, welcome to Larry and Needles Show.

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I'm Larry. And I am Needles. And we got Jay visiting

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us today. Our special guest. Glad to have her.

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Peace. Alright. This is going to be take two

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because for some reason... every time Jay is

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on, the world does not want her. No, I'm just

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saying, the last time we did a podcast with Jay,

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we did video and it didn't record the video.

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That is a true statement. Or the audio, and we

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had to get rid of it, we couldn't have anything.

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True story. Paranormal interference, it's divine

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intervention. And Larry, is it recording then?

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Yep. You need one of these things. Quite on the

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set. I always assimilate those with pedophiles.

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Yeah, that's what they click that thing. You

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know what I mean? I'm not obsessed with them

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at all. That's just more prevalent now more than

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ever, right? Well, I suppose if you think Hollywood,

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yeah, there's not even Hollywood. They click

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that shit. The amount of people that are getting

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busted right now. Clean slate slate. Yeah. No,

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they should do it college What do you think they

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should do when they find a guy that a person

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or a man or okay? Let's do this. How about this?

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Hmm What is the difference between a teacher

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a man teacher touching a girl and a girl teacher

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touching a boy Is there any no, you don't think

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so no, okay? Will say I'm a bigot though cuz

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I see two chicks kiss. Yeah, I don't care. I

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see two guys. It's You really you're a Bromophobe

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Okay, what if it's a teacher? Yeah, it's just

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male teacher having sex with a underage wrong.

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It's well Why do you have to say that dude? I

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mean you just really how about this? That's what's

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going on at schools. What if it's a hot? Female

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teacher having sex with a boy. I just said that

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and she just said it doesn't matter. Oh, you

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don't think it matters? You know what I say,

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Larry? It's wrong. I say that kid's fucking lucky.

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That guy deserves 50 high fives. But the boy,

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of course, feels like, you know, it's something

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great. Yeah, because it is. But the woman is

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taking advantage of a young child and it's sick.

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Any woman who is attracted to a young child is

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a fucking sick arse. Any woman who's attracted

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to a child is a sicko. Oh, any person that's

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attracted to a child is a sicko. She's a sicko.

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Doesn't matter. You got something wrong with

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you. But I mean, it's a lot cooler. I mean, actually,

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it's not a lot cooler. Yeah. But it's just more

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silly. From a young boy's point of view. But,

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you know, what does a young boy know? From a

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young boy's point of view. You're supposed to

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be stupid at that age. But the adults should

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know better. Well, you think with your dong and

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not your brain. And then you got some, you think

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she's a MILF and she's like 24? Yeah. You know

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what I mean? She could be a MILF. She's a MILF.

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What's that? She could be a milf at 24. I know,

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but Larry, that's a little bit older. Yeah. You

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know, you understand that. But what was the last

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one? The boy was what? Like, he was like 16 or

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15? I don't know. I don't keep up on this stuff.

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We passed. We texted it, man, on the fucking

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thread. I don't know who you're talking about.

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We. The Proud Boys, man. I don't know who those

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guys are. You know. Never heard of them. The

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boys. Never heard of the Proud Boys. That's wrong.

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Across the board. That's it. Bottom line. Well,

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yeah, but... Why and a teacher touched my kid

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when he was a cat he did cops get her first.

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Oh It didn't happen. No, but it did she better

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hope the cops get her first My kid would be proud

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of shit, but I'd be out of no you'd be mad if

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it was a fucking a right I would be yeah moms

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are like that. They get jealous each other and

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yeah women are get so I would be jealous He's

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a sick fuck. They're like, oh look at how hot

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she is Banging my kid's head. Get out of here.

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I would fucking love it. Just having her way

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with my son. Again, boys are horny. Who isn't?

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Girls are too. You know, this huge misconception.

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Girls were, you're right. Your girls were too.

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I mean, come on. It takes two to tango. It takes

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one to street walk. No, Joel. When it's an adult

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and a child, it's wrong. That's it. Okay. I agree

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with that. A child's supposed to be stupid. Where

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do you think they should be? Their brain isn't

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even developed till they're 21. Well, first of

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all, you and the two individuals on each side

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whose brains probably haven't developed since

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they were 13. Do you think your brain's developed?

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What kind of question is this? Coming from the

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guy who smokes 40 bongs a day. I don't smoke

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any bongs a day. I barely smoked any weed at

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all. I barely smoked weed. Okay. I believe you

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as much as fucking Jack Rubenstein. Talk about

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fake. What? Joey don't smoke weed. Oh. Very little.

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I thought, look at his nose. Doesn't he look

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Jewish with that side view, Jay? Look at how

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big that nose is. Larry, turn to your left a

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little. It's not that big. Look at it. I've seen

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worse. It's almost blocking out the sun. Because

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that's what they want to do. That's a Jewish

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space laser, just your nose. Just stand over

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women sunbathing. Leer at them. Huh? Yeah, speaking

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of Italian, in the last episode that got lost,

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we were talking about how Jay grew up thinking

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she was half Italian and half Polish. We're going

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to talk about this again, really. I'm just telling

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you that's what Alice told me. All right, I Have

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to go back again Like an illegal should I know

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more about your shit than you know now, you know,

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I'm in Well, maybe you know what maybe we're

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that much more interested in it than I well,

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it's probably your wife since I Know I know I

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was raised Italian and that's I don't care. It's

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probably Jeff. He's coming to dump those things

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off on us Yeah, um Yeah, he's done. That's why

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he's just fried now. No, I'm not fried Yeah,

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I mean last time the last episode that got lost

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also. Yeah needle steals No, I don't steal. I

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just steal lighters and you steal them back.

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That's not stealing them back when you're taking

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back your own lighter. I mean... Is that stealing

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them back? Oh, man. Huh? Right? What? If you

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had some of mine and I take it back from you,

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it's not stealing it back. It's called Indian

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giver. You're an Indian giver. I didn't give

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it to you. You swiped it. Just some lighter sticky

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fingers. That's all. Sticky fingers with lighters.

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I used to be really bad at that. Really, really

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bad. Stealing? Well, taking lighters on accident.

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Stealing? And one time Johnny was so mean to

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me about it, I've never done it again. He scared

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me to shit. There you go. This one, too. See?

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You didn't learn your lesson, Johnny. Because,

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you know, I will say, you could have five lighters

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and have a party. Everybody's gone and he's got

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no lighter when he had five. I mean, kids do.

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All right. Maybe you know how many times that

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happens. Oh, yeah, many for you know walking

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like here. We go. Maybe it's time to play our

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game All right. Yeah, I really haven't tied the

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strings shit Somebody then you go for like oh

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my god. I'd be pissed you're jay my hand Johnny

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was really pissed at me one night because he

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didn't happen It was jay my handwriting is shit,

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and I don't have my glasses here. We're gonna

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play this game Can you read what that says at

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the top? Jobs that wouldn't women shouldn't do

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and other things. Yeah It's gonna be fun, okay

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So there's not just looks like white I just bought

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this today so this watch out don't be fucking

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using it So today we're gonna play a game and

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Jay's gonna have to write for me because my handwriting

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You're right No, not at all, because we're gonna

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be very simplistic, so we're gonna play a new

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game with Jay, which I think is very funny. It's

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called, jobs that women shouldn't do and other

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things. Okay, so Jay, here you go. I'm not writing,

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Joey. I ain't fucking doing it. What kind of

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feminist are you? I'm not writing, I'm terrible

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at that. You're terrible at writing? Yes, I don't

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do things that I suck at. And I can't spell and

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I'm not opening that whole can of joke for myself.

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All right, so we have a going thing on this show

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that some ladies should not do some sort of jobs.

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Do you agree with that or no? Yes, I do. Okay,

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oh fuck yeah, this is gonna be fun then. All

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right then, so the first thing that the Larry

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and Needle Show thinks about, ladies should not

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be cops, lady cops. Yeah. First of all, you're

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seeing that lady that was pointing the gun at

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her partner's head There was a hostage situation

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I can say that I but listen there are some badass

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chicks. Yeah, I don't know about that I think

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the rule in general How nobody's scared of a

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cop and a dude can overtake you and I wouldn't

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want my lady I'd be come on you just because

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nature is better stronger That's just physically

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the truth and women are very trigger -happy too.

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Yeah Can I get one of those lyrics? Not always.

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A lot more accidental deaths. So what do you

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think? Lady cops, yes or no? If I was a man,

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I would not take a lady cop series whatsoever.

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If I had a daughter, I would not want her to

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be a police person. A police person? Not even

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a lady cop? A police woman. I wouldn't want her

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to be working for the police, no. So Larry, I

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wanted one, but yeah, you can. So my answer is...

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So yes. I respect them and I think they're bad

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ass that want to. That's number one. Lady cops.

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I wouldn't want my daughter aunt or mother to

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be a cop. Well, you know what? First of all,

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especially when they're on the rag. My dad told

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me once anything that bleeds for five days and

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doesn't die. That's not true. You know what I

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mean? If you're trained, you're trained. It's

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not going to make you be emotional. What are

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you talking about? I know a lot of men that are

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way more emotional than women. Women can be masculine

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and men can be well, yeah women come because

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they get a haircut and they're They start taking

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hormones. I mean I was a tomboy just like this

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but that's the Jay just broke it wide open. She's

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a dyke. I'm not a fucking dyke, Joe. She's a

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muff dyke. No, I'm not. That's why she's only

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been with a couple of guys. I'm a nobody. Yeah.

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I'm not gay and I don't like men either because

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they're stupid, so I'm a nobody. It's not gay

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if you like it, Jay. Don't worry. That's what

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Larry lives by. Absolutely. I'm not a dyke. That's

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not true. So lady cops, we agree on. They shouldn't

00:11:02.820 --> 00:11:09.409
be, right? Lady cops. Number one. Number two

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pilots. Oh, no, I think Women are very very You

00:11:29.129 --> 00:11:32.549
don't notice shit Oh bullshit, you don't notice

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what? They notice everything. You guys don't

00:11:34.820 --> 00:11:36.480
notice it right and you're wrong. First of all,

00:11:36.679 --> 00:11:38.919
periods come into huge accordance with this whole

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list. Why? What makes you think you need to speak

00:11:40.159 --> 00:11:42.279
up? Because it throws your shit off all of a

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sudden. What the fuck do you know about having

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a period? Jesus, like you can't have babies this

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week. You don't know a fucking thing about having

00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:48.519
a period. I know what makes women speak up. Listen,

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I've been... You don't know shit unless you had

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one. I've been with women. I can tell you, if

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you had them, the world would stop. I've been

00:11:56.080 --> 00:11:59.139
with women. Me too. You know what I mean? The

00:11:59.139 --> 00:12:03.299
world stops when just cause you had one. You

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know what, Jay? Listen. Let's segue this and

00:12:09.100 --> 00:12:10.580
go back to the list. You know how many jobs I've

00:12:10.580 --> 00:12:13.399
had where I want to punch my fricking boss? The

00:12:13.399 --> 00:12:16.759
period blood is good for lubricant though. Well

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you put it on your doorway when the Jews come

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by they don't kill your first born. It's not

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about lubrication, it's about cleansing you.

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You guys are dumbasses. Freaking missed 7th grade

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sex net and you don't even know what you're talking

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about. You heard that though, right? Okay, good.

00:12:34.860 --> 00:12:39.799
A lubricant for Satan? Maybe. Yeah, maybe say

00:12:39.799 --> 00:12:41.440
this like that. Maybe it's a lubricant for that.

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Who let this white bitch in here? Sorry, the

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dashiki's talking. So, we're gonna write down,

00:12:49.379 --> 00:12:52.360
we're not gonna write down Pilots? No, I'm gonna

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read you a story which actually plays into this.

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Is this your big game? Yes, but listen, I want,

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okay. Is this a wrong message to send to a lady?

00:12:59.179 --> 00:13:01.080
So this lady I've been talking to, she's complaining

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about, she's like menopausal and she's like all

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bitchy and crying about it. Metapause sucks,

00:13:06.100 --> 00:13:09.139
it's struggling. First of all, it's got men in

00:13:09.139 --> 00:13:11.919
it. I know, it's ironic, it's really epic. What

00:13:11.919 --> 00:13:15.080
means menstrual? Menstrual system is going on.

00:13:15.080 --> 00:13:18.500
All right, calm down there Larry. Fucking Larry

00:13:18.500 --> 00:13:21.740
Nassar. Fucking Larry Nassar Jr. I know, Jay,

00:13:21.740 --> 00:13:24.100
they should call it menastop, but they don't.

00:13:24.220 --> 00:13:26.419
They call it menopause. Larry Nassar Jr. over

00:13:26.419 --> 00:13:28.269
here. It is ironic that they call it that. Okay,

00:13:28.269 --> 00:13:31.929
so then this lady's like, ah, I'm 46 and I'm

00:13:31.929 --> 00:13:34.549
pre -menopausal and I've got a real bitch for

00:13:34.549 --> 00:13:36.250
fucking... But here, listen to what I said to

00:13:36.250 --> 00:13:38.750
this, because this is funny. I said, ain't that

00:13:38.750 --> 00:13:41.549
young? I've heard of older broads getting knocked

00:13:41.549 --> 00:13:44.590
up. Guess when the last day she talked to me

00:13:44.590 --> 00:13:50.149
was? Was that day. Yeah, it was that day. That

00:13:50.149 --> 00:13:56.870
you shouldn't speak about No business taught

00:13:56.870 --> 00:14:00.029
you don't know man, you don't get it way too

00:14:00.029 --> 00:14:02.730
crazy man All right, I want to say Mary sister

00:14:02.730 --> 00:14:07.929
had a kid when she was like 45 or something Twins

00:14:07.929 --> 00:14:12.659
even yeah can happen The last couple kids, you

00:14:12.659 --> 00:14:15.259
know. So we all agree on Lady Pilots. Yeah, Pilots.

00:14:15.320 --> 00:14:17.700
No fucking way. If I see a set of titties...

00:14:17.700 --> 00:14:18.259
No, I think a woman could be a fantastic pilot.

00:14:18.279 --> 00:14:20.679
If I see a set of titties in a pilot's outfit

00:14:20.679 --> 00:14:23.159
and they're not in the cabin, I get really scared.

00:14:23.299 --> 00:14:25.059
Mm -hmm. I want me an air waitress. If I see

00:14:25.059 --> 00:14:27.179
a tampon in the fucking little wastebasket...

00:14:27.179 --> 00:14:32.960
Oh, Jesus. You're stealing it. Taking it home.

00:14:33.100 --> 00:14:39.639
Taking it home with me. You're like, oh. Who

00:14:39.639 --> 00:14:46.860
left this tug muffin in here? Because you're

00:14:46.860 --> 00:14:48.379
going to see a tampon in the back. Well, you

00:14:48.379 --> 00:14:50.179
know what? You're not. First of all, this is

00:14:50.179 --> 00:14:52.159
a democracy on the Larry Neal Show. And guess

00:14:52.159 --> 00:14:53.720
what? No, you're not. You're not going to see

00:14:53.720 --> 00:14:58.129
a tampon. Yes, it is. Lady pilots. No way. I

00:14:58.129 --> 00:15:00.669
agree. I think a lady pilot should be grateful.

00:15:00.850 --> 00:15:05.230
Larry, lady pilot, two thumbs down. Here's the

00:15:05.230 --> 00:15:07.250
other thing. There shouldn't be anything where

00:15:07.250 --> 00:15:10.070
there's involving driving periods. Wait, number

00:15:10.070 --> 00:15:12.850
three. That's not true. Here we go. I know some

00:15:12.850 --> 00:15:15.210
unbelievable women drivers. See, Larry and I,

00:15:15.429 --> 00:15:17.990
we know each other so well. My girlfriend, Quincy?

00:15:18.740 --> 00:15:21.840
She can F 'n drive any F 'n vehicle that's ever

00:15:21.840 --> 00:15:23.840
F 'n been used. Yeah, one lady, you know. I watched

00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:27.019
her crazy jams. I know 50 guys. A semi into the

00:15:27.019 --> 00:15:29.259
smallest alley in the city. Yeah, I bet. Yeah.

00:15:29.259 --> 00:15:32.419
Chrissy can drive anything. She's a F 'n phenomenal

00:15:32.419 --> 00:15:35.639
driver. To turn tricks. Oh, right. You know what?

00:15:36.959 --> 00:15:40.320
When she sees you next time you're done for it

00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:42.600
was a joke you think you should be scared of

00:15:42.600 --> 00:15:48.340
me Larry She pulls her truck over here, and you're

00:15:48.340 --> 00:15:49.899
gonna see her and you ain't gonna know I'm just

00:15:49.899 --> 00:15:56.379
gonna knock I don't have to pay for All right

00:15:56.379 --> 00:15:58.200
number three I'm not lying she's a phenomenal

00:15:58.200 --> 00:16:00.000
driver there are we ready for this one this one's

00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:02.879
gonna blow your tits back Jay you ready? Lady

00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:07.620
shouldn't drive What I just say Come on. I'm

00:16:07.620 --> 00:16:09.220
not the greatest driver, but I do know there

00:16:09.220 --> 00:16:11.820
we go. I mean Alice is a driving somebody too.

00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:17.379
So we drive 50 -50 right now No, I'm just going

00:16:17.379 --> 00:16:20.620
to an alley. You can't even okay now. I'm terrible

00:16:20.620 --> 00:16:24.580
into that Larry if you listen to our old one

00:16:24.580 --> 00:16:26.840
of our older episodes. It's called driving leaders

00:16:26.840 --> 00:16:30.059
ride really good That's Alice, but my sister

00:16:30.059 --> 00:16:32.279
can drive here that makeup roll joins the same

00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:34.620
time with a stick chip and not miss a big man

00:16:35.100 --> 00:16:40.759
Yeah, when we were fucking kids. She's a phenomenal

00:16:40.759 --> 00:16:42.960
driver. First of all, ladies shouldn't drive.

00:16:43.340 --> 00:16:46.740
Well, that's your opinion, sir. I disagree. Why's

00:16:46.740 --> 00:16:49.559
that? I just said, I gave you two perfect examples.

00:16:49.899 --> 00:16:51.740
Yeah, two peep, two women out of how many? Well,

00:16:51.860 --> 00:16:53.600
I can only give you - And you said you're not

00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:56.889
a good driver. I'm not great, no. No. The funny

00:16:56.889 --> 00:16:59.950
thing is let me paint a picture. I can drive

00:16:59.950 --> 00:17:02.529
if they're like pizza delivery person around

00:17:02.529 --> 00:17:06.490
the neighborhood I'm gonna give you an option

00:17:06.490 --> 00:17:10.410
Women don't drive anymore completely relinquish

00:17:10.410 --> 00:17:13.450
their rights to drive Yeah, okay, but we get

00:17:13.450 --> 00:17:15.690
them ubers to go wherever they want whenever

00:17:15.690 --> 00:17:18.869
they want at all hours of the night and They

00:17:18.869 --> 00:17:22.710
don't have to pay for it No, I didn't know that

00:17:22.710 --> 00:17:25.769
I'm just saying this is our this is our alternative

00:17:26.039 --> 00:17:30.279
Yeah. That way, everybody's happy and it's safer

00:17:30.279 --> 00:17:32.099
on the roads. Women were drivers, too. I know,

00:17:32.279 --> 00:17:33.799
we gotta get rid of them. We are not anymore.

00:17:36.019 --> 00:17:38.420
Well, I wouldn't want my... Not under the Larry

00:17:38.420 --> 00:17:43.259
and the Eagles universe. Nope. Here you go, lady.

00:17:44.910 --> 00:17:47.569
Do you consider yourself a crazy driver? What's

00:17:47.569 --> 00:17:50.470
that smelly? Oh, fuck yeah. Okay. Alright. Well,

00:17:50.509 --> 00:17:53.809
wait a second. You do? No. Really? He's a better

00:17:53.809 --> 00:17:57.509
driver on 15 bags of heroin than any lady. A

00:17:57.509 --> 00:18:01.210
lunatic driver. Let me tell you, it would take

00:18:01.210 --> 00:18:04.910
67 Asian ladies and he's compared to one of them.

00:18:04.910 --> 00:18:07.829
He's a crazy driver. On nitrous on a scooter.

00:18:09.009 --> 00:18:11.900
Crazy. What's that? I don't know because he's

00:18:11.900 --> 00:18:14.140
a drug addict and he's fucking up. No, he's just

00:18:14.140 --> 00:18:17.160
got a wet foot. Hmm. I don't know if you do that.

00:18:17.240 --> 00:18:18.660
It's not even a lead foot. It's his right hand

00:18:18.660 --> 00:18:20.880
on the scooter, which is notorious for a voice

00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:23.539
tackle. That's what they call the right hand.

00:18:23.799 --> 00:18:25.839
A very aggressive driver in a car. Or he can

00:18:25.839 --> 00:18:27.539
be. I don't know if he used to be. He said he

00:18:27.539 --> 00:18:29.259
was like exercise. I don't know if you are anymore.

00:18:29.259 --> 00:18:32.359
No, you're the ogerta instead of omerta. The

00:18:32.359 --> 00:18:35.809
ogerta. Fuck that up. Alright, so women shouldn't

00:18:35.809 --> 00:18:37.549
drive. I'm happy you agree on that, Jay. I don't

00:18:37.549 --> 00:18:39.130
agree with that. What do you mean? It's going

00:18:39.130 --> 00:18:42.390
down on the board. Again, I don't agree with

00:18:42.390 --> 00:18:45.109
it. Women, look at, look at, women. Women can

00:18:45.109 --> 00:18:46.930
be pilots and women can drive. Shouldn't it just

00:18:46.930 --> 00:18:49.109
write driving because it already starts things

00:18:49.109 --> 00:18:50.990
that women shouldn't do. I don't trust ladies

00:18:50.990 --> 00:18:52.789
on the ground. Why would I trust them in the

00:18:52.789 --> 00:18:55.390
air? Well, I am a lady, so who is more fucking

00:18:55.390 --> 00:18:57.309
equipped to answer the question than you or me?

00:18:57.369 --> 00:18:59.309
First of all, I think men have a higher stress

00:18:59.309 --> 00:19:01.470
tolerance. And I think you have a biased opinion.

00:19:01.569 --> 00:19:04.769
No, they don't. Fuck, no they don't. What are

00:19:04.769 --> 00:19:07.670
you talking about? No they don't. Come on. Man,

00:19:07.750 --> 00:19:09.549
you do not have a higher stress tolerance. What

00:19:09.549 --> 00:19:11.349
are you talking about, Willis? Come on. What

00:19:11.349 --> 00:19:13.029
are you talking about, Willis? Who brought this

00:19:13.029 --> 00:19:16.690
bitch here? You guys are fucking potheads. No

00:19:16.690 --> 00:19:18.490
way. Oh, we're potheads, so we can't come up.

00:19:18.950 --> 00:19:21.720
Potheads. Hotheads. A word of the hothead? You

00:19:21.720 --> 00:19:22.740
just hit me four to four minutes ago. Very much

00:19:22.740 --> 00:19:25.259
so behind the wheel. Behind the wheel? That's

00:19:25.259 --> 00:19:26.539
cause you said something about Chrissy. You're

00:19:26.539 --> 00:19:28.000
lucky you didn't. I didn't say nothing about

00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:30.019
Chrissy. He did too. You said some dumb shit.

00:19:30.019 --> 00:19:31.339
It was a joke. Chrissy's beautiful. Yeah, well,

00:19:31.579 --> 00:19:33.299
that shit wasn't funny. My gosh. You're going

00:19:33.299 --> 00:19:34.940
to do this in front of the Jesus camp? Yeah,

00:19:34.940 --> 00:19:38.599
I defend my own you. Okay. So we agree. No, we

00:19:38.599 --> 00:19:40.539
don't. Women shouldn't drive. We don't agree

00:19:40.539 --> 00:19:42.279
on that. Number four, Larry. Maybe it could be

00:19:42.279 --> 00:19:45.779
Chrissy. If I was going to repeal something,

00:19:45.799 --> 00:19:49.339
what would it be? Um, the right to vote? What

00:19:49.339 --> 00:19:52.519
amendment is that? What's that, the fifth, 19th

00:19:52.519 --> 00:19:55.259
amendment? The 19th amendment. Women should not

00:19:55.259 --> 00:19:58.720
be allowed to vote. You're a fucking moron. Why,

00:19:58.720 --> 00:20:01.160
why, why? Because then if they don't have the

00:20:01.160 --> 00:20:03.460
right to vote, they don't have to pay taxes.

00:20:04.009 --> 00:20:06.849
Yeah, well, this is my this is my thing if women

00:20:06.849 --> 00:20:08.769
don't vote they fucking work. They don't need

00:20:08.769 --> 00:20:11.289
to be supported Well, that's a whole that's a

00:20:11.289 --> 00:20:13.750
juice I opt to get women to work because they

00:20:13.750 --> 00:20:15.809
could tax the other half of the fucking family

00:20:15.809 --> 00:20:19.269
This is separate the family. This is a game we

00:20:19.269 --> 00:20:22.529
play. What do you mean? You know like this game

00:20:22.529 --> 00:20:28.789
you just say in a bunch of dumps The game is

00:20:28.789 --> 00:20:34.109
who is Jagan is smacked first game. It should

00:20:34.109 --> 00:20:36.730
be. Who's jagging a smack bird? That's the fucking

00:20:36.730 --> 00:20:39.150
game. Actually, the game is jobs that women shouldn't

00:20:39.150 --> 00:20:41.470
do and other things. Here's the thing though,

00:20:41.490 --> 00:20:43.890
don't you believe it would be great if you didn't

00:20:43.890 --> 00:20:46.150
have to pay taxes if you went to your job and

00:20:46.150 --> 00:20:48.170
you just got all the money. You owned a house,

00:20:48.170 --> 00:20:50.470
you didn't have to pay property taxes. Why should

00:20:50.470 --> 00:20:53.349
women not have to pay taxes? Because that's what

00:20:53.349 --> 00:20:55.210
you get. You give up your right to vote and then

00:20:55.210 --> 00:20:57.289
we give you and then you have to pay any taxes.

00:20:57.369 --> 00:20:59.230
Fuck that. We have fucking minds just because

00:20:59.230 --> 00:21:01.529
we have and mouths just because we have a giant.

00:21:01.529 --> 00:21:04.750
We all know that. The mouth is the part we like,

00:21:04.950 --> 00:21:07.029
but not when it's talking. Here's the thing.

00:21:08.450 --> 00:21:11.250
Here's the thing about women. Most of the women.

00:21:11.250 --> 00:21:14.849
Oh, here's Larry. Most of the women, most of

00:21:14.849 --> 00:21:18.650
the people you see at these rallies, so -called

00:21:18.650 --> 00:21:22.450
rallies, the protests and shit, anti -ice and

00:21:22.450 --> 00:21:25.250
anti -this, anti -that, Elon Musk, Bernie the

00:21:25.250 --> 00:21:30.220
fucking Teslas, are all fucking women. I don't

00:21:30.220 --> 00:21:32.359
agree with not a single thing that women are

00:21:32.359 --> 00:21:34.920
saying. I know but it's just ironic. I don't

00:21:34.920 --> 00:21:36.799
agree with it. Right, well, you know, there's

00:21:36.799 --> 00:21:39.519
gonna be a few exceptions in there that... They're

00:21:39.519 --> 00:21:42.700
not the majority, Joe. There's a lot of them

00:21:42.700 --> 00:21:44.480
though. Well, they're not the majority, but they're

00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:46.700
being put out there. They tilt things. The media

00:21:46.700 --> 00:21:49.460
is making them seem like they are. They're portraying

00:21:49.460 --> 00:21:50.359
them as the fucking... Yeah, it's the media.

00:21:50.940 --> 00:21:53.220
Talk about fake. Oh shit, I dropped that lighter.

00:21:53.259 --> 00:21:54.799
Why is it you gotta hang onto that shit like

00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:57.680
it's frickin' real? Well, I mean, you know, next

00:21:57.680 --> 00:21:59.279
thing you know, say the Holocaust number. I'll

00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:01.559
tell you another woman who's very, very, very

00:22:01.559 --> 00:22:04.220
high up and who I absolutely cannot stand. I

00:22:04.220 --> 00:22:07.119
think it's so disrespectful. And she had no business

00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:11.619
is the speaker of the house. Oh, yeah. I mean,

00:22:11.880 --> 00:22:15.660
she is, I am so, she offended me so much when

00:22:15.660 --> 00:22:21.349
Trump was first in office. Making all kinds of

00:22:21.349 --> 00:22:24.509
faces and being disrespectful behind trial. I

00:22:24.509 --> 00:22:26.990
don't care what it is. That's your boss It's

00:22:26.990 --> 00:22:33.069
shit up. It is what so here you go Defiant she

00:22:33.069 --> 00:22:35.569
is it absolutely was in the wrong position. She

00:22:35.569 --> 00:22:38.650
should have been so right then Here we go. Wait,

00:22:38.789 --> 00:22:42.410
wait, wait, here we go. I don't think she here

00:22:42.410 --> 00:22:44.490
we go. I got a black history fact. Okay, okay,

00:22:44.549 --> 00:22:47.420
but write down I will give me a second relax

00:22:47.420 --> 00:22:51.740
on this day in history in 1927 Ricky Dale Everclear

00:22:51.740 --> 00:22:54.359
Becomes the first man to put oversized rims on

00:22:54.359 --> 00:23:13.410
his truck with his girlfriend stack return You

00:23:13.410 --> 00:23:15.089
get sucked into your algorithm, and it's just

00:23:15.089 --> 00:23:16.269
gonna keep sending more and more. It's not my

00:23:16.269 --> 00:23:18.549
algorithm. Well, let me tell you, my algorithm

00:23:18.549 --> 00:23:22.650
is... I don't get one lick of smut on my algorithm.

00:23:23.009 --> 00:23:27.789
Endoctored to stupidness. Huh? Oh, no. Write

00:23:27.789 --> 00:23:30.089
down a public official. Well, wait a second.

00:23:30.130 --> 00:23:32.109
Let's talk about women public officials. No,

00:23:32.130 --> 00:23:33.710
I think women can be great leaders, too. Well,

00:23:33.710 --> 00:23:35.569
what about Nancy Pelosi? What about Hillary Clinton?

00:23:35.569 --> 00:23:37.890
She's an asshole, and Hillary Clinton's a criminal.

00:23:37.910 --> 00:23:41.289
What about Ruth Gayter Ginsburg? Ruth Gayter

00:23:41.289 --> 00:23:45.930
Ginsburg. Ruth Gayter Ginsburg. I respect her.

00:23:46.410 --> 00:23:50.309
She's dead. She's terrible at her job, especially

00:23:50.309 --> 00:23:52.930
after she died. Probably better after she died.

00:23:52.930 --> 00:23:55.210
Yeah, well, she did improve a little, but at

00:23:55.210 --> 00:23:57.279
first. Why would we speak of The Grateful Dad?

00:23:57.420 --> 00:24:05.539
I like The Grateful Dad. He's one of the only

00:24:05.539 --> 00:24:09.019
black guys that does like The Grateful Dad. I

00:24:09.019 --> 00:24:18.799
also like a salami. Listen, I know Don Tarius

00:24:18.799 --> 00:24:24.240
and he knows you. Don Tarius is crazy. Don Tarius.

00:24:24.539 --> 00:24:27.460
I saw some good shit on 48 hours last night.

00:24:27.500 --> 00:24:31.599
Such a great show. One kid likes the other guy's

00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:33.779
girlfriend so he punches him in the mouth and

00:24:33.779 --> 00:24:37.000
knocks his tooth out. So then... Real lovers

00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:40.180
quarrel. So then later, at another date, the

00:24:40.180 --> 00:24:42.779
kid that got his tooth knocked out stabs the

00:24:42.779 --> 00:24:45.799
other kid in the back. So that's kind of a heavy

00:24:45.799 --> 00:24:49.359
escalation. So then the other kid leaves and

00:24:49.359 --> 00:24:51.900
he comes back a month later and fucking puts

00:24:51.900 --> 00:24:55.170
seven... rifle bullets into the fucking first

00:24:55.170 --> 00:24:57.789
kid that stabbed him. Six isn't enough. And it's

00:24:57.789 --> 00:25:01.309
like, holy fuck, man. It's like, okay, it took

00:25:01.309 --> 00:25:03.730
the police about, I don't know, half an hour

00:25:03.730 --> 00:25:06.509
to figure out. Yeah, what? Who did it? Yeah,

00:25:06.529 --> 00:25:07.769
because they all narc on each other. Yeah, and

00:25:07.769 --> 00:25:10.029
they all knew each other and shit. They were

00:25:10.029 --> 00:25:13.029
all tough guys together. It was like so fucking

00:25:13.029 --> 00:25:15.410
retarded and so the one kid got life and the

00:25:15.410 --> 00:25:19.569
other kid died. All right. Astronauts. What are

00:25:19.569 --> 00:25:22.730
you playing at? Astronauts that's fine cuz that's

00:25:22.730 --> 00:25:25.150
fake. It's only a swimming pool to pick it up

00:25:25.150 --> 00:25:28.750
Bonnie Remember we had that crazy astronaut lady

00:25:28.750 --> 00:25:31.309
that drove across the country. She was nuts.

00:25:31.410 --> 00:25:34.609
She was what did she do? There was a crazy astronaut

00:25:34.609 --> 00:25:37.150
lady that drove across the country in a diaper

00:25:37.150 --> 00:25:41.930
Really kill her at her ex's girlfriend. Nice.

00:25:41.930 --> 00:25:46.859
You know, you don't see it Huh? She was stalker,

00:25:46.859 --> 00:25:49.559
batshit crazy. And? Well then there you go, so

00:25:49.559 --> 00:25:51.920
ladies should not be astronauts. Right. Oh my

00:25:51.920 --> 00:25:53.740
god. You're gonna fucking say that? You just

00:25:53.740 --> 00:25:55.359
said it, she's batshit crazy! She wasn't driving

00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:57.900
a plane, she was a stalking whack job. Technically,

00:25:58.259 --> 00:26:00.700
she shouldn't drive. Technically, I mean, listen,

00:26:00.940 --> 00:26:02.960
if you can't - I will say this. If you can't

00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:05.019
drive - All people that are stalkers and batshits

00:26:05.019 --> 00:26:06.240
should not drive. If you can't drive - Whether

00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:08.480
they have a vagina or - If you can't drive -

00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:10.359
That's a totally different thing. On terra firma.

00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:12.700
If you can't drive on terra firma, and then go

00:26:12.700 --> 00:26:15.500
into the atmosphere, and then go into the ionosphere,

00:26:15.779 --> 00:26:18.779
you can't drive anywhere. Right. Okay? Should

00:26:18.779 --> 00:26:20.480
we agree on that? How are you gonna park that

00:26:20.480 --> 00:26:22.920
fucking ship? No we don't. Yeah. First of all,

00:26:23.240 --> 00:26:25.420
technically the space shuttle is a fucking plane,

00:26:25.839 --> 00:26:28.200
right? Yeah. It's so fake. Wings and gay and

00:26:28.200 --> 00:26:30.660
fake, you know? So fucking fake. I believe women

00:26:30.660 --> 00:26:33.299
can be pilots. I disagree with you. Yeah, but

00:26:33.299 --> 00:26:36.069
I'm talking the astronaut though. How do you

00:26:36.069 --> 00:26:40.990
change a tampon in space? I think it should be

00:26:40.990 --> 00:26:43.150
astronaut slash pilot. But their brains aren't

00:26:43.150 --> 00:26:47.069
as big as males Maybe they'll chimp out. She

00:26:47.069 --> 00:26:49.670
sent a black lady up there. Oh my god. That should

00:26:49.670 --> 00:26:57.859
be the name of the rocket, the Baltimore 2. Talking

00:26:57.859 --> 00:27:01.500
out of your asses. You just realized this we've

00:27:01.500 --> 00:27:03.279
done like three podcasts. Okay. Well, I'm just

00:27:03.279 --> 00:27:05.539
saying again I'm just you know, stating the obvious.

00:27:05.539 --> 00:27:08.720
What do you think? Astronauts. I don't agree.

00:27:09.119 --> 00:27:12.000
I'm a hostile witness. Astronauts. Hostile witness.

00:27:12.359 --> 00:27:14.640
Okay. And this here judge this court of judgment

00:27:14.640 --> 00:27:18.519
that you guys have. Hostile witness. Well, maybe

00:27:18.519 --> 00:27:21.319
I'll vote with you one time. How about two ladies

00:27:21.319 --> 00:27:23.920
as a mom or dads, you know, the mom and the dad.

00:27:24.059 --> 00:27:26.630
No. I told you I don't want to get into that,

00:27:26.630 --> 00:27:29.750
but... Oh, I didn't know that. Two dads or two

00:27:29.750 --> 00:27:32.029
moms? Two moms. Just two moms. I'm pleading the

00:27:32.029 --> 00:27:36.890
fifth. Pleading the fifth? Hmm. Let's just leave

00:27:36.890 --> 00:27:38.329
it at that. I think they're going to raise a

00:27:38.329 --> 00:27:42.230
vicious kid. No, I don't believe that. I'm pleading

00:27:42.230 --> 00:27:43.650
the fifth. Move on. Your product, your environment.

00:27:44.170 --> 00:27:48.769
Moving right along. All right. Okay. That hit

00:27:48.769 --> 00:27:53.250
home. That hits home. Okay. There's more in the

00:27:53.250 --> 00:27:57.049
coolery. I got family members that are trannies

00:27:57.049 --> 00:28:02.190
That's a weird statement to make I have family

00:28:02.190 --> 00:28:04.410
members that are trannies I'm sure they would

00:28:04.410 --> 00:28:06.970
appreciate your verbiage. They won't they don't

00:28:06.970 --> 00:28:14.450
watch this show One of our cousins fucking kids

00:28:20.360 --> 00:28:24.799
Well, you know I'm a round frickin tag in a square

00:28:24.799 --> 00:28:27.680
world Larry what else shouldn't women do? Thank

00:28:27.680 --> 00:28:35.079
you. Oh Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you women shouldn't

00:28:35.079 --> 00:28:37.779
date men who think like you. Thank you, Larry

00:28:37.779 --> 00:28:42.980
This was a very contentious point after this

00:28:42.980 --> 00:28:45.240
game, huh? You're not gonna get any dates after

00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:47.599
this game. Listen, I'm already married. Mm -hmm.

00:28:47.880 --> 00:28:50.619
Yeah, you're safe. I'm fine To us your marriage.

00:28:50.619 --> 00:28:54.119
Oh, why shouldn't we let cuz first, you know

00:28:54.119 --> 00:28:57.200
what Jay? Women are so emotional aren't they?

00:28:57.640 --> 00:29:00.059
Yes, we can't be sure Right there. So I mean,

00:29:00.140 --> 00:29:02.240
do you want them dealing with your brain shit

00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:05.579
open? No, you can be fucking listen You can still

00:29:05.579 --> 00:29:07.460
be trained to do your job, whether you have your

00:29:07.460 --> 00:29:09.339
menstrual cycle or not. You can separate things.

00:29:09.339 --> 00:29:10.759
All of a sudden, you're going through a breakup.

00:29:10.759 --> 00:29:12.480
You're trained, you go to work, you do your job.

00:29:12.660 --> 00:29:16.000
But do you want someone to fucking do their job

00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:17.599
because they're trained, or do you want someone

00:29:17.599 --> 00:29:19.359
to do it because they know it in their heart

00:29:19.359 --> 00:29:22.480
and their mind is straight? Wait, DEI shit, that's

00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:23.900
what you're saying. You know a man where their

00:29:23.900 --> 00:29:27.000
heart and mind is straight? It should be. Well,

00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:28.400
I don't think so, sir. Unless there's something

00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:31.500
wrong. We're all human, we're all applied. Listen.

00:29:34.539 --> 00:29:39.960
That's just she doesn't get the fucking dresser

00:29:39.960 --> 00:29:42.019
she wants from Wayfair and she leaves a sponge

00:29:42.019 --> 00:29:46.779
in you. Mm -hmm Right, she's thinking about you

00:29:46.779 --> 00:29:49.160
know, she's thinking about that wrongs that didn't

00:29:49.160 --> 00:29:51.599
come. It's not women doctor They get such small

00:29:51.599 --> 00:29:54.420
hands too. So I think she's thinking about that

00:29:54.420 --> 00:29:56.359
rug that didn't come and she shows you up with

00:29:56.359 --> 00:29:58.240
a he I have a family member where they left a

00:29:58.240 --> 00:30:01.730
sponge in there and it wasn't a dude doctor They

00:30:01.730 --> 00:30:04.329
left a sponge in you? Yes, not me, but somebody

00:30:04.329 --> 00:30:05.750
in my family. I think I'd rather have a drunk

00:30:05.750 --> 00:30:07.589
doctor. I'm not going to say who it is. A drunk

00:30:07.589 --> 00:30:10.289
man doctor? But somebody in my family had a procedure

00:30:10.289 --> 00:30:14.509
done and got a major infection. Who was it? You

00:30:14.509 --> 00:30:15.910
don't have to say who, Larry. I'm not going to

00:30:15.910 --> 00:30:17.670
say who it is, dummy. But I'd rather have a drunk

00:30:17.670 --> 00:30:20.049
man doctor than a lady sober lady doctor. And

00:30:20.049 --> 00:30:23.329
it was a man. And I'm talking like Scotch. Really?

00:30:23.470 --> 00:30:24.990
So you're a guy, you're going for surgery, you

00:30:24.990 --> 00:30:27.200
find out your wife is cheating on you. You want

00:30:27.200 --> 00:30:29.400
him to perform surgery on you too? No, because

00:30:29.400 --> 00:30:31.440
he's probably banging one of the nurses. Yeah,

00:30:31.500 --> 00:30:32.619
that's why his wife is cheating. I mean, this

00:30:32.619 --> 00:30:34.859
guy's making so much money. He doesn't even care

00:30:34.859 --> 00:30:36.960
about his wife. He's thinking about the paycheck.

00:30:37.559 --> 00:30:40.759
I know it. Here's the thing, though. The man

00:30:40.759 --> 00:30:42.779
is just thinking about the paycheck. He doesn't

00:30:42.779 --> 00:30:46.259
give a shit about it. This guy's just banging

00:30:46.259 --> 00:30:48.940
muff left and right, throwing darts on the board.

00:30:48.940 --> 00:30:52.039
Nurse Susie or Sally, they're all there. Just

00:30:52.039 --> 00:30:54.440
lying in and dying in these anesthesiologists.

00:30:54.440 --> 00:30:58.079
Made out cute. Hmm, they're not all cute. They're

00:30:58.079 --> 00:31:00.640
not all handsome. Not every woman wants to be

00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:03.900
with a doctor. Well Because we're all Indian

00:31:03.900 --> 00:31:09.539
every doctor All Indian doctors really want to

00:31:09.539 --> 00:31:14.279
be with a woman Yeah, I mean, do you think a

00:31:14.279 --> 00:31:18.099
lot of they're really okay Jay, would you go?

00:31:18.519 --> 00:31:24.039
Would you go to an Indian gynecologist? No, I

00:31:24.039 --> 00:31:29.200
prefer, well, a female, yes. Hey pretty lady,

00:31:29.519 --> 00:31:31.819
your vulva is very beautiful. You have a very

00:31:31.819 --> 00:31:34.259
nice vagina. Hey, you're fucking smart though.

00:31:34.279 --> 00:31:37.880
Maybe you should shave it for me next time. I

00:31:37.880 --> 00:31:42.119
can't see in. Gross. Your motherfucker's like

00:31:42.119 --> 00:31:44.880
Vishnu all of a sudden. He's got hands all over

00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:47.279
him. Eight arms to his fucking finger you were.

00:31:47.299 --> 00:31:51.339
He's just going all over the joint. You will

00:31:51.339 --> 00:31:54.039
have to put your feet into things now, man. Tell

00:31:54.039 --> 00:31:56.140
the Indians they're all the ultimate horny guys.

00:31:56.259 --> 00:31:58.200
You gotta watch out for them. If they ever, I

00:31:58.200 --> 00:31:59.980
mean, what would you rather have? I hope they

00:31:59.980 --> 00:32:02.500
wouldn't go. You wouldn't go? I wouldn't know.

00:32:02.980 --> 00:32:07.039
I wouldn't know. I don't have a personal relationship

00:32:07.039 --> 00:32:10.420
with any many Indians in my life. No I do I love

00:32:10.420 --> 00:32:13.140
my Indian friends that I have are fun Yeah, the

00:32:13.140 --> 00:32:16.259
dude that's in jail right now. Java who Java

00:32:16.259 --> 00:32:19.380
you Java? He's an Indian jail send this motherfucker

00:32:19.380 --> 00:32:23.119
rupees every time and but he's cool as shit man

00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:26.880
and In all his in all the Indians that I have

00:32:26.880 --> 00:32:29.420
met through you Java that I've hung out and fucking

00:32:29.420 --> 00:32:33.200
drank with and party with They're all very cool,

00:32:33.200 --> 00:32:35.200
but you know what they're all they see on TV

00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:37.079
though. They're not really cool No, but the ones

00:32:37.079 --> 00:32:39.079
that I know are pretty cool, but here's the one

00:32:39.079 --> 00:32:41.140
thing It's like if their wife tells them to be

00:32:41.140 --> 00:32:44.859
home in like nine or something They're like I

00:32:44.859 --> 00:32:48.279
got to leave now They leave and it's like weird

00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:50.559
because they're really fucking scared of their

00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:53.160
wives I'm thinking man these bitches must fucking

00:32:53.160 --> 00:32:54.960
maybe they're worried. I'm just gonna kill them

00:32:54.960 --> 00:32:56.720
Yeah, they got one if they were back in India.

00:32:56.740 --> 00:32:58.859
They could have multiple right they could just

00:32:58.859 --> 00:33:01.410
take what they want in India I don't know, I

00:33:01.410 --> 00:33:04.210
don't think that that's how they roll. It depends

00:33:04.210 --> 00:33:07.269
what religion they are. First of all, listen,

00:33:07.289 --> 00:33:09.490
when you're horny, you're horny. Right. I mean

00:33:09.490 --> 00:33:10.930
there's no religion. But here's the thing though,

00:33:11.089 --> 00:33:13.410
it's not like there's an overabundance of women,

00:33:13.430 --> 00:33:15.670
hot women walking around India, I don't think,

00:33:15.690 --> 00:33:18.170
I don't know. Unless they're grabbing, you know,

00:33:18.390 --> 00:33:20.450
young ones and shit, I don't know what the laws

00:33:20.450 --> 00:33:23.309
are out there. Listen, let Larry cook for a minute,

00:33:23.329 --> 00:33:28.690
he's got something going here. Pervert fucking

00:33:28.690 --> 00:33:31.869
list only covers the United States. I don't know

00:33:31.869 --> 00:33:33.569
the laws in India. I told Larry that so that

00:33:33.569 --> 00:33:36.230
his punk wristband on the inside, it's a map

00:33:36.230 --> 00:33:38.589
of the United States and it says the legal age

00:33:38.589 --> 00:33:42.309
of consent on each state and each one. Does it

00:33:42.309 --> 00:33:49.039
really? Yeah, don't show her though. You lie.

00:33:49.420 --> 00:33:51.740
I typed out a little thing and taped it in there.

00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:55.079
It just says 16 everywhere. No. And then there's

00:33:55.079 --> 00:34:00.259
one that says 15. That one's highlighted. Larry

00:34:00.259 --> 00:34:03.539
is happily married. Arrow's going to it. He's

00:34:03.539 --> 00:34:05.940
happily married. Thank God it's only one state

00:34:05.940 --> 00:34:10.539
away. That was bullshit. It's a driving disc.

00:34:10.619 --> 00:34:14.579
Bullshit. We've got to fly there. Yeah, Larry

00:34:14.579 --> 00:34:17.039
does have a Bolshevik mentality. If this trailer's

00:34:17.039 --> 00:34:20.000
rocking, don't come in that again. Trailer? Yeah.

00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:22.639
Bolshevik. I'm going to Tennessee or something.

00:34:23.260 --> 00:34:29.000
Or something. I got a book, wait. All you have

00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:35.739
to do is look. I'm only three hours away from

00:34:35.739 --> 00:34:40.119
multiple borders. That's all right, though. All

00:34:40.119 --> 00:34:41.659
right, is there anything else we should think

00:34:41.659 --> 00:34:44.300
about that women shouldn't do his job? You put

00:34:44.300 --> 00:34:45.840
down surgeon, right? I mean, you're on five,

00:34:45.840 --> 00:34:47.639
I've only agreed with one, just saying for the

00:34:47.639 --> 00:34:51.099
record. No, six, no, surgeons. Yeah. Okay, I

00:34:51.099 --> 00:34:54.059
disagree with that, too. Really? Yeah. You don't

00:34:54.059 --> 00:34:56.440
think if they're on the rag or something, it's

00:34:56.440 --> 00:34:58.179
not gonna affect them? It always comes back down

00:34:58.179 --> 00:35:00.739
the rag, doesn't it? Mm -hmm. The mental imbalance.

00:35:00.739 --> 00:35:02.820
Or if they're going through a fucking menopause.

00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:05.480
No, like I said, doesn't matter. When you're

00:35:05.480 --> 00:35:07.559
at work, you fucking do what you gotta do at

00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:10.659
work. Mm -hmm. Know you change that shit aside

00:35:10.659 --> 00:35:13.179
and then also not everyone's like you Jay. You

00:35:13.179 --> 00:35:28.900
got it You guys are not so Just saying I think

00:35:28.900 --> 00:35:31.019
I'm a little bit more of an expert on it since

00:35:31.019 --> 00:35:34.380
I happen to be one. Okay, don't bite me But you

00:35:34.380 --> 00:35:36.159
guys aren't even willing to hear what I'm saying.

00:35:37.119 --> 00:35:39.239
I can think of a lot of jobs you guys shouldn't

00:35:39.239 --> 00:35:43.900
have. Oh, what's that? Debaters. Debaters? What

00:35:43.900 --> 00:35:45.119
are you talking about? Because you only want

00:35:45.119 --> 00:35:47.079
to hear your side. A man got killed for debating.

00:35:47.099 --> 00:35:49.179
You only want to hear your side. When is the

00:35:49.179 --> 00:35:50.440
last time a woman was killed for debating? I'm

00:35:50.440 --> 00:35:53.179
talking about just you two. Oh, oh. You two,

00:35:53.360 --> 00:35:56.780
specifically. I don't want to hear anybody's

00:35:56.780 --> 00:35:59.800
side. So can you be an astronaut? No. I'm not

00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:02.039
trying to - Exactly. No way. You can't even drive!

00:36:02.559 --> 00:36:04.539
Could you imagine? How about you or a lady cop?

00:36:04.539 --> 00:36:05.199
I could drive. I'm not a good parker. I could

00:36:05.199 --> 00:36:07.099
drive. Could you imagine if they really did go

00:36:07.099 --> 00:36:08.880
to space and you're in that little fucking thing?

00:36:08.880 --> 00:36:10.639
Not me. No way. They did go to space. Remember

00:36:10.639 --> 00:36:12.820
where all the coosies went? No, not me. I'm claustrophobic.

00:36:13.019 --> 00:36:16.920
Oh, okay. Yeah. Dude, come on! They wore jewelry,

00:36:17.260 --> 00:36:20.900
and the door opened from the outside. Oh, God,

00:36:21.039 --> 00:36:23.079
don't get me started about that dumb shit. Oh,

00:36:23.199 --> 00:36:24.500
that was hilarious. Katy Perry and all that.

00:36:24.500 --> 00:36:27.639
Yeah, Katy Perry and parasol. The fucking dingle

00:36:27.639 --> 00:36:29.820
cunts that all went up there. What did you say?

00:36:30.659 --> 00:36:41.880
Huh? Some cunts. Words we shouldn't say. He did

00:36:41.880 --> 00:36:48.219
it on purpose mine slipped out You guys don't

00:36:48.219 --> 00:36:58.039
see word in front of me You get one warning for

00:36:58.039 --> 00:37:06.159
that needles I will take Triple C. I will snatch

00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:08.039
that hat and beat the living shit out of you

00:37:08.039 --> 00:37:10.840
with the bell on it. I swear I will syllable

00:37:10.840 --> 00:37:13.059
smack the shit out of you if you say that word

00:37:13.059 --> 00:37:15.260
again in front of me. You've been warned. Can

00:37:15.260 --> 00:37:19.320
I say runt? Don't say anything raunchy. One time

00:37:19.320 --> 00:37:23.030
I went out with this little runt. She was a midget.

00:37:23.489 --> 00:37:25.630
Don't say the P word, the C word, G -D, J -C,

00:37:25.769 --> 00:37:27.389
none of that. No, we don't say G -D. You guys

00:37:27.389 --> 00:37:29.309
know on the freaking list, you know. We don't

00:37:29.309 --> 00:37:32.050
say G -D. J -C, but we do say the C word, we

00:37:32.050 --> 00:37:34.809
do say the P word. But we do use frivolous amounts

00:37:34.809 --> 00:37:37.510
of other hateful speech. Yes, that is a true

00:37:37.510 --> 00:37:39.610
statement. Yeah, it is very hateful. It is a

00:37:39.610 --> 00:37:42.679
very true statement. What hateful thing do we

00:37:42.679 --> 00:37:45.420
ever say? Oh my gosh, how much time do you have?

00:37:46.219 --> 00:37:48.960
I don't know. Can we go back? Actually, no, we

00:37:48.960 --> 00:37:50.760
don't do hate speech on here. We're not people

00:37:50.760 --> 00:37:58.340
at all If we had a lot of hate you wouldn't be

00:37:58.340 --> 00:38:02.250
on the show everybody we love everybody We just

00:38:02.250 --> 00:38:05.050
we are here to incite a reaction out of you and

00:38:05.050 --> 00:38:07.590
you I know but you're not interested in it doesn't

00:38:07.590 --> 00:38:11.710
seem So here's some cool shit yeah, I walk in

00:38:11.710 --> 00:38:14.409
the last week I gave the bartender at the punk

00:38:14.409 --> 00:38:20.230
rock place a blowjob First off it's a girl, but

00:38:20.230 --> 00:38:22.670
I gave her some a couple mushroom caps and then

00:38:22.670 --> 00:38:25.960
last week when I went in there I go up and order

00:38:25.960 --> 00:38:28.000
a beer and she's like, your money's no good here.

00:38:28.260 --> 00:38:30.619
And she's giving me free drinks all night. And

00:38:30.619 --> 00:38:33.760
she's like, man, I had such a good time. And

00:38:33.760 --> 00:38:36.860
I forgot that you gave me those capsules. And

00:38:36.860 --> 00:38:40.579
I realized, oh, yeah. Because, you know, you

00:38:40.579 --> 00:38:43.199
hand them and you do the mushroom capsules and

00:38:43.199 --> 00:38:44.940
you forget that you take them, you know? And

00:38:44.940 --> 00:38:46.400
then all of a sudden you're like, man, I feel

00:38:46.400 --> 00:38:48.659
really good. Or you're like, whoa, I'm tripping.

00:38:48.900 --> 00:38:52.480
So I got free drinks all night, Jay. Another

00:38:52.480 --> 00:38:55.099
story she was great excited needed brain cells

00:38:55.099 --> 00:39:03.920
from Larry. I was excited about that He drinks

00:39:03.920 --> 00:39:06.880
like a lady I very rarely ever paid for my drinks

00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:13.579
because she blows the bartender That's a fucking

00:39:13.579 --> 00:39:31.099
lie Didn't have to Free weed I never had to touch

00:39:31.099 --> 00:39:35.719
a single we get some free blow right now She's

00:39:35.719 --> 00:39:38.039
like I was one here's a free beer lady when I

00:39:38.039 --> 00:39:40.480
was Dominic this one hands got a beer this other

00:39:40.480 --> 00:39:42.659
hand needs So I never do nothing for it. It's

00:39:42.659 --> 00:39:47.039
just me being me man lonely Just me being me.

00:39:47.039 --> 00:39:48.920
Yeah to be a lady. I'd fuck for air. I'm like,

00:39:48.940 --> 00:39:50.500
yeah, you know what I mean? I totally fuck for

00:39:50.500 --> 00:39:53.380
air If I said my nose has an edge and my hand

00:39:53.380 --> 00:39:56.860
has a twitch. Bullshit. You guys know that's

00:39:56.860 --> 00:40:00.780
not true. And anybody who knows me that's watching

00:40:00.780 --> 00:40:02.719
this is probably like a capellucci's beacon.

00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:06.500
It's so ridiculous. I can't even get mad at it.

00:40:06.579 --> 00:40:08.659
What's that? What you guys are saying? I would

00:40:08.659 --> 00:40:10.219
never wear that. I guess he knows what you did.

00:40:10.460 --> 00:40:13.099
Never ever ever. Jesus knows what you did. Yeah,

00:40:13.099 --> 00:40:16.480
Jesus saw. He did. You're right. He's gonna.

00:40:16.559 --> 00:40:17.000
I'll pay for some stuff that wasn't what you

00:40:17.000 --> 00:40:18.539
guys did. When you get up there, say Peter's

00:40:18.539 --> 00:40:20.119
gonna blush when he opens your book up. I'll

00:40:20.119 --> 00:40:21.880
pay for some stuff, but not the shit you guys

00:40:21.880 --> 00:40:25.719
are saying. That thing is dead about. Mm -hmm.

00:40:26.099 --> 00:40:30.139
That's right here in Good Life. I've been blackouts

00:40:30.139 --> 00:40:45.400
rock and turned down sex because I've never turned

00:40:45.400 --> 00:40:49.619
down sex when I was blackout drunk. No, I only

00:40:49.619 --> 00:40:52.079
people that I Actually have affection for it.

00:40:52.079 --> 00:40:54.320
You know, I was thinking about I never did that

00:40:54.320 --> 00:40:56.960
kind of stuff bullshit No, Joey. I didn't you

00:40:56.960 --> 00:40:59.179
never went home with the bar with some rando

00:40:59.179 --> 00:41:01.739
never not once in my life. That's your number

00:41:01.739 --> 00:41:06.079
No, sir. I just blacked out No, even in my blackout

00:41:06.079 --> 00:41:09.099
days. Yeah, you're black. I will say though I

00:41:09.099 --> 00:41:14.380
do but no, so these guys see you naked What these

00:41:14.380 --> 00:41:16.659
guys had to see you naked and then that get laid

00:41:17.699 --> 00:41:20.800
No, I'm not sleep with you because I remember

00:41:20.800 --> 00:41:23.940
you with less and I don't keep it the circle

00:41:23.940 --> 00:41:26.239
tight if you're Yeah, I got a circle you running

00:41:26.239 --> 00:41:29.320
in here. They were wet When you were back then

00:41:29.320 --> 00:41:31.699
everybody was fucking everybody everybody so

00:41:31.699 --> 00:41:42.440
therefore I was quite selective Women have such

00:41:42.440 --> 00:41:44.679
the upper hand. Yeah, just because they have

00:41:44.679 --> 00:41:49.420
Just because they have never been in a position

00:41:49.420 --> 00:42:02.690
where I had to use my woman prowess No, I have

00:42:02.690 --> 00:42:04.329
no confidence in what I am or what I have to

00:42:04.329 --> 00:42:06.409
offer. That's amazing. Do you have the fart on

00:42:06.409 --> 00:42:08.409
someone? My body is a temple, man. I don't just

00:42:08.409 --> 00:42:10.929
give it up. Your body is a temple with 19 beers

00:42:10.929 --> 00:42:12.690
in it. I went wherever I went to know there was

00:42:12.690 --> 00:42:15.650
somebody that's clean. Even before I was having

00:42:15.650 --> 00:42:19.610
sex, I knew I was drunk. Yeah, that's good. Coors,

00:42:19.869 --> 00:42:21.929
though, are fun. You'll never see a picture of

00:42:21.929 --> 00:42:24.250
me with my naked boobs. My mother taught me when

00:42:24.250 --> 00:42:27.789
I was young. Just show your butthole. No, you

00:42:27.789 --> 00:42:32.110
just Don't ever do it in a camera. Just do feet

00:42:32.110 --> 00:42:35.309
You know, I don't ever do it on camera. Why your

00:42:35.309 --> 00:42:43.570
mother to see it? Listen pictures has no conscience.

00:42:43.610 --> 00:42:47.949
It's a true story sex makes very good men do

00:42:48.030 --> 00:42:50.630
Bad things. No, I think good women do bad things.

00:42:50.989 --> 00:42:53.150
I am not like that. I've seen it. That's what

00:42:53.150 --> 00:42:55.489
I like because I like when bad women do bad things.

00:42:55.530 --> 00:42:58.210
I've seen it hurt people. I like when good women

00:42:58.210 --> 00:43:00.050
do bad things. It's not something for me. I like

00:43:00.050 --> 00:43:04.510
them more. I'm not going to judge. Susan Smith.

00:43:05.230 --> 00:43:07.389
Remember her, right? Laurie Dan. Oh, you remember

00:43:07.389 --> 00:43:09.329
Susan Smith, right? No. She's the one that drove

00:43:09.329 --> 00:43:13.489
her kids into the lake. Oh, yeah. Oh, my. That's

00:43:13.489 --> 00:43:18.800
what it is. Fucking Casey Anthony. Who is the

00:43:18.800 --> 00:43:20.460
queen of the show? He had to be a porno dude,

00:43:20.599 --> 00:43:21.920
made a bunch of money off of it anyway. Casey

00:43:21.920 --> 00:43:23.719
Anthony? Best thing that ever happened to him.

00:43:23.840 --> 00:43:25.880
Who? Oh, not Casey Anthony, I'm sorry. Oh, the

00:43:25.880 --> 00:43:27.940
dude that got his dick chopped off, John Wayne

00:43:27.940 --> 00:43:30.219
Bobbitt. Yeah, the Bobbitt guy. Yeah. He ended

00:43:30.219 --> 00:43:32.199
up way better off. John Benet Bobbitt. It was

00:43:32.199 --> 00:43:35.119
the best thing that ever happened to him. Huh?

00:43:35.119 --> 00:43:37.659
I don't know about that. I don't think any man

00:43:37.659 --> 00:43:39.719
has ever said... He totally exploited it! I don't

00:43:39.719 --> 00:43:41.579
think any man has ever said the greatest thing

00:43:41.579 --> 00:43:43.880
in my life is that when they cut my dick off.

00:43:44.119 --> 00:43:45.760
I'm sure he didn't say that in the moment, but

00:43:45.760 --> 00:43:47.539
in hindsight, it was the best thing that... He

00:43:47.539 --> 00:43:49.099
was a nobody. It was the best thing that ever

00:43:49.099 --> 00:43:50.579
fucking happened to him. I don't know about that.

00:43:51.119 --> 00:43:55.099
And then they gave me ten or twenty thousand

00:43:55.099 --> 00:43:57.000
dollars that I spent on coke. And everybody gets

00:43:57.000 --> 00:44:00.000
to see my little dick on... It looks like a neapolitan

00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:02.670
box. A reattached appendage in pornos. Uh -huh.

00:44:02.849 --> 00:44:06.590
We made money in pornos after that so mmm Someone

00:44:06.590 --> 00:44:08.849
did but not yeah, not him trust. It's a flat

00:44:08.849 --> 00:44:12.610
rate. What I might as well be a fucking Industry,

00:44:12.889 --> 00:44:15.190
I don't well, I mean, I don't I don't I'm sure

00:44:15.190 --> 00:44:18.570
you got a variety You got pity. He got all kinds

00:44:18.570 --> 00:44:20.590
of shit. First of all, he got notoriety from

00:44:20.590 --> 00:44:22.230
his wife cutting his dick off. That's what I

00:44:22.230 --> 00:44:25.269
said! That's what I said, Needle. That's a terrible

00:44:25.269 --> 00:44:28.030
thing to be famous for. Imagine a... It didn't

00:44:28.030 --> 00:44:30.050
seem to hurt his feelings afterwards in hindsight.

00:44:30.369 --> 00:44:31.429
Well, Larry, you know what it's like to... He

00:44:31.429 --> 00:44:33.130
totally exploited it, and he was a goofball,

00:44:33.449 --> 00:44:34.550
and he thought it was the greatest thing that

00:44:34.550 --> 00:44:36.949
ever happened to him. Hey, mister, you got your

00:44:36.949 --> 00:44:39.369
wiener chopped off, huh? You wanna make a movie?

00:44:39.369 --> 00:44:42.130
You wanna make a movie? He got famous. You know,

00:44:42.210 --> 00:44:46.719
we'll pay for it. Here's a couple shackles. And

00:44:46.719 --> 00:44:48.920
then they give him some coke. I don't know about

00:44:48.920 --> 00:44:50.500
that. That probably wouldn't help. I know everything

00:44:50.500 --> 00:44:52.460
that happened to him in my closed doors. Who

00:44:52.460 --> 00:44:54.739
knows? But I do know that he exploited himself

00:44:54.739 --> 00:44:58.059
after that. He was fine with it. He was a dirtbag

00:44:58.059 --> 00:45:00.559
anyway. The reason he chopped his dick off was

00:45:00.559 --> 00:45:02.539
because he was fucking everybody. He wasn't even

00:45:02.539 --> 00:45:03.579
the Dalai Lama. You wouldn't even know who the

00:45:03.579 --> 00:45:05.820
fuck he was. Yeah, he wasn't exactly the Dalai

00:45:05.820 --> 00:45:08.539
Lama. You wouldn't even know who he was if that

00:45:08.539 --> 00:45:17.349
didn't happen. St. Einstein or something called

00:45:17.349 --> 00:45:20.489
the Dalai Lama. The guy was on camera kissing

00:45:20.489 --> 00:45:24.210
a kid on the mouth. Oh my God. And you find out

00:45:24.210 --> 00:45:31.050
he's the CIA asset. Yeah, the Dalai Lama. That's

00:45:31.050 --> 00:45:32.789
all right though, what do you expect from everybody?

00:45:33.590 --> 00:45:39.110
The Dalai Lama too, huh? Oh yeah. Never seen

00:45:39.110 --> 00:45:40.690
him kissing that boy? He tongue kisses little

00:45:40.690 --> 00:45:42.230
boys. Hey, you never seen him do it on camera?

00:45:42.230 --> 00:45:45.789
No, I have not. It's very erotic. Get out of

00:45:45.789 --> 00:45:51.469
here, you fucking wacko. It's disgusting. It's

00:45:51.469 --> 00:45:53.389
like, dude, this guy's with little kids and shit.

00:45:53.389 --> 00:45:55.869
I mean, this guy, this is a fucking, this is

00:45:55.869 --> 00:45:57.570
the apex of the religion to some extent. And

00:45:57.570 --> 00:46:00.010
he's like fucking the most utmost or something,

00:46:00.170 --> 00:46:02.309
right? What was he supposed to be? Like, what

00:46:02.309 --> 00:46:03.730
is he, what religion is he? Some old horny pervert

00:46:03.730 --> 00:46:06.289
that was getting $130 ,000 a month from the CIA.

00:46:08.750 --> 00:46:10.789
Yeah, Jay, how about that? He was getting 130

00:46:10.789 --> 00:46:15.380
Gs a month from the CIA. With that whole Tibetan

00:46:15.380 --> 00:46:17.659
bullshit. I can believe that yeah, I believe

00:46:17.659 --> 00:46:20.980
giving him kids and stuff kids to have do what

00:46:20.980 --> 00:46:24.079
he wants with Guys, it's been slaves beginning

00:46:24.079 --> 00:46:26.920
of time. Oh, yeah people fucking doing his lawn

00:46:26.920 --> 00:46:39.739
and shit How many countries have dictators that

00:46:39.739 --> 00:46:41.239
you would be killed for being gay, but they're

00:46:41.239 --> 00:46:44.210
gay themselves Oh shit, I don't know. Is it a

00:46:44.210 --> 00:46:45.989
rhetorical question to Larry? No, it's just a

00:46:45.989 --> 00:46:49.150
fact. Is it? Fuck yeah. Really? Well, you know

00:46:49.150 --> 00:46:51.190
what? The thing is, like, Stalin wasn't gay.

00:46:51.210 --> 00:46:53.090
Well, like, Charlie's shit. Joe Stalin got lots

00:46:53.090 --> 00:46:56.690
of - I bet Stalin was totally doing all - Oh,

00:46:56.769 --> 00:46:58.309
no way. When you get that big of a head, you'll

00:46:58.309 --> 00:47:00.449
screw up anything. Anything. He was getting lots

00:47:00.449 --> 00:47:02.489
of twice. Look at Hoover. And look at him being

00:47:02.489 --> 00:47:03.590
gay. Hoover was a total fag. Look at him having

00:47:03.590 --> 00:47:06.480
another opportunity. To get their rocks off.

00:47:06.480 --> 00:47:09.739
They don't care I mean, so you're gonna fly me

00:47:09.739 --> 00:47:12.000
to an island and hang out with a bunch of fucking

00:47:12.000 --> 00:47:15.280
rock stars in the 70s, right? When you have good

00:47:15.280 --> 00:47:17.260
women throwing themselves at you and you've already

00:47:17.260 --> 00:47:19.559
freaking women Let's use that term loosely. So

00:47:19.559 --> 00:47:21.420
then you go to women and find something else

00:47:21.420 --> 00:47:25.250
man. Oh you get Desensitize they made movies.

00:47:25.250 --> 00:47:27.650
That's bullshit, man. I had lots of girlfriends

00:47:27.650 --> 00:47:30.510
in fucking had several at one time before and

00:47:30.510 --> 00:47:33.610
I've been in a band It doesn't make you turn

00:47:33.610 --> 00:47:36.670
gay Jay. You just want more women if you're already

00:47:36.670 --> 00:47:38.789
gay. Well, you don't for you, you don't then

00:47:38.789 --> 00:47:41.510
You'll fucking do it because you're a rock star.

00:47:41.510 --> 00:47:44.849
You know when Larry looks at the menu after a

00:47:44.849 --> 00:47:46.170
little while He's like I'm gonna order off the

00:47:46.170 --> 00:47:49.530
kids man. Yeah, but I don't feel that hungry

00:47:49.530 --> 00:47:56.760
tonight Lust has no boundaries or more. Well,

00:47:56.800 --> 00:47:58.579
lust has boundaries. That's why people choke,

00:47:58.579 --> 00:48:03.000
jerk, and die. Choke, jerk, and die. The bondage

00:48:03.000 --> 00:48:06.500
goes bad. BDSM goes bad. It has limits. Everything

00:48:06.500 --> 00:48:09.099
has a limit. When good sex goes bad, we should

00:48:09.099 --> 00:48:11.639
make a video. It all depends on what you entertain.

00:48:11.800 --> 00:48:14.179
What's your limit? What would you... Yeah, how

00:48:14.179 --> 00:48:17.989
hard would you let someone choke you? Me until

00:48:17.989 --> 00:48:21.010
unconscious or just barely black. Well, first

00:48:21.010 --> 00:48:22.789
of all, I mean, we don't want anybody to choke

00:48:22.789 --> 00:48:24.570
you till you're unconscious I wouldn't want it

00:48:24.570 --> 00:48:27.329
at all. You can see some weird MMA smug Maryann.

00:48:27.690 --> 00:48:30.070
I don't like that. I didn't that's not cool to

00:48:30.070 --> 00:48:33.099
me I don't know if it's about cool. I wouldn't

00:48:33.099 --> 00:48:34.920
give anybody there's a boss over me. Let me tell

00:48:34.920 --> 00:48:36.900
you we're just talking about fun talking about

00:48:36.900 --> 00:48:39.380
cool Saying that that stuff is cool. It's probably

00:48:39.380 --> 00:48:43.519
the most tepid Annunciation you can save that

00:48:43.519 --> 00:48:46.019
it's not at all about asphyxiation. That's a

00:48:46.019 --> 00:48:48.659
plan. Well, I don't get it I mean obviously the

00:48:48.659 --> 00:48:52.179
what's his name? Who's the Kung Fu guy Bruce

00:48:52.179 --> 00:48:57.360
Lee? No Oh David care. Yeah, David care Dean

00:48:57.360 --> 00:49:00.329
that guy He was choke -jerking in his office.

00:49:00.329 --> 00:49:02.489
Oh, he is. Or on a satan's island. But here's

00:49:02.489 --> 00:49:04.309
the thing. He's got a stranger danger look. It's

00:49:04.309 --> 00:49:06.369
a lot of those guys. No, they're in separate

00:49:06.369 --> 00:49:07.630
with him. I think that they killed him. It's

00:49:07.630 --> 00:49:10.989
all fake. Stranger danger. Yeah, they killed

00:49:10.989 --> 00:49:12.929
him and they make it look like that because they

00:49:12.929 --> 00:49:15.130
want to humiliate him. You know, like Chris Cornell.

00:49:15.409 --> 00:49:18.110
Scary. Yeah, Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington.

00:49:19.070 --> 00:49:20.650
I wouldn't be in a room alone with that dude.

00:49:20.929 --> 00:49:23.110
Who? That kung fu guy you were just talking about.

00:49:23.170 --> 00:49:24.849
David Carradine? Yeah, he's scary. I don't know.

00:49:24.949 --> 00:49:26.730
He was in Kill Bill, so he's kind of cool. Stranger

00:49:26.730 --> 00:49:30.010
danger. How could he be in Kill Bill? He's been

00:49:30.010 --> 00:49:30.969
dead way before that. Oh no, he wasn't in Kill

00:49:30.969 --> 00:49:33.230
Bill, my bad. No, there was another guy that

00:49:33.230 --> 00:49:34.349
looked like him. That'd be impossible. You need

00:49:34.349 --> 00:49:36.630
a beer needle? Oh yeah, I'll take one please.

00:49:38.570 --> 00:49:42.650
I have another black fact here for you. All right,

00:49:42.670 --> 00:49:47.510
on this day in 1963, civil rights legend, Reverend

00:49:47.510 --> 00:49:51.570
Dontel Big Willie Sharpton, made legal history

00:49:51.570 --> 00:49:56.489
in 1963. He... In an all -white Alabama courtroom,

00:49:56.570 --> 00:49:59.190
he became the first black man to represent himself

00:49:59.190 --> 00:50:03.269
using the didn't -do -nuffin' defense. I didn't

00:50:03.269 --> 00:50:06.409
do nothing. I don't care what you saw. It wasn't

00:50:06.409 --> 00:50:08.650
me. I didn't do nothing, man. His defense was

00:50:08.650 --> 00:50:10.869
I don't care what you saw. You know what I mean?

00:50:11.329 --> 00:50:15.130
That's racist. That's what his defense was. Everything's

00:50:15.130 --> 00:50:19.860
racist. That is. You can't say a word. That's

00:50:19.860 --> 00:50:22.300
racist. But we can say the word. That's not racist.

00:50:22.559 --> 00:50:25.760
Everybody's a Nazi too. Don't forget. Thank you.

00:50:27.019 --> 00:50:31.340
It's like, wow. Such high compliments. Are those

00:50:31.340 --> 00:50:33.199
my accolades that are coming up right now? Are

00:50:33.199 --> 00:50:37.440
you giving me flowers? I need a latrine break.

00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:39.880
There's no breaks. What time are we at? Sorry,

00:50:40.019 --> 00:50:43.449
I gotta go, man. We're at 50 minutes. That's

00:50:43.449 --> 00:50:44.849
fine, you can go use the bathroom, we'll finish

00:50:44.849 --> 00:50:46.909
up. Yeah, keep coming, keep coming back down

00:50:46.909 --> 00:50:49.110
when we're done. Keep coming back. I'm gonna

00:50:49.110 --> 00:50:50.869
be back. Come back, we're gonna talk shit about

00:50:50.869 --> 00:50:51.730
you while you're gone. And I'm just gonna crack

00:50:51.730 --> 00:50:53.190
you both for whatever you say while you're gone.

00:50:53.449 --> 00:50:54.909
Oh, you have no idea. It was Joey last time.

00:50:54.909 --> 00:50:57.769
I didn't catch until the next day. Yeah, so you're

00:50:57.769 --> 00:50:59.489
gonna have to watch this one. Every time I leave,

00:50:59.730 --> 00:51:02.230
he says some real dumb shit. Oh, the worst stuff

00:51:02.230 --> 00:51:04.130
is about to happen. Dumb? I thought it was genius.

00:51:04.130 --> 00:51:06.670
It was on point. You made it look like I was

00:51:06.670 --> 00:51:10.469
some kind of fucking moron. Did I? Yeah. It's

00:51:10.469 --> 00:51:12.829
hilarious. What did he say? Wait, she sees this

00:51:12.829 --> 00:51:14.530
later because she's gonna come down here. Well,

00:51:14.530 --> 00:51:17.230
because he's retarded. That's what a retard says.

00:51:17.250 --> 00:51:19.710
I saw it the next day, son of a bitch. I'm drinking

00:51:19.710 --> 00:51:21.849
my cloppy. I'm clopping to my co -op. I realized

00:51:21.849 --> 00:51:24.050
he got away with insulting the shit out of me

00:51:24.050 --> 00:51:26.929
when I wasn't looking. What a fucking wise guy.

00:51:26.949 --> 00:51:28.570
That's all right. I'll let you know what he says.

00:51:29.210 --> 00:51:32.590
Yeah. Well, no. She'll see it tomorrow. She'll

00:51:32.590 --> 00:51:36.250
hear it on the podcast machine, what we say about

00:51:36.250 --> 00:51:39.289
her as soon as she walks out. That's what we

00:51:39.289 --> 00:51:42.489
do. As soon as they walk out. We start talking

00:51:42.489 --> 00:51:46.389
shit. Sniffer seat. Hell no. Sniffer seat. I

00:51:46.389 --> 00:51:51.219
ain't doing that. You're gonna throw up. I don't

00:51:51.219 --> 00:51:54.219
need to throw up. All right, here we go. I'm

00:51:54.219 --> 00:51:56.519
just gonna let you first of all, you know what's

00:51:56.519 --> 00:51:59.519
happening here? What's going on here is we're

00:51:59.519 --> 00:52:02.480
on the Autobahn and we're just cracking 50 miles

00:52:02.480 --> 00:52:05.199
an hour ladies just open up Larry's about to

00:52:05.199 --> 00:52:09.960
crank the 75 Open that bitch up Larry. Come on.

00:52:09.960 --> 00:52:13.280
Jay's doing good though, isn't she? Jay's doing

00:52:13.280 --> 00:52:17.440
good tonight Tonight on the podcast. She's a

00:52:17.440 --> 00:52:19.679
pretty good guest. This is the worst podcast

00:52:19.679 --> 00:52:23.340
in the world I know. I know. And tonight's no

00:52:23.340 --> 00:52:25.340
different. Anybody just, when she comes on here,

00:52:25.519 --> 00:52:27.139
it makes us better. It makes us look left and

00:52:27.139 --> 00:52:28.960
right. Cause she sucks so bad. It makes us look

00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:32.219
good. Oh, Jesus. You really tried to sucker me

00:52:32.219 --> 00:52:35.059
into that one, didn't you? Thank God I said the

00:52:35.059 --> 00:52:38.699
words before you did. Nah, Jay's good to have

00:52:38.699 --> 00:52:40.659
because she's - The Jew, always trying to make

00:52:40.659 --> 00:52:44.599
the goyim fight. That's you. You just can't let

00:52:44.599 --> 00:52:47.380
us be, because we're all cattle to you. That's

00:52:47.380 --> 00:52:49.280
it. That's all right, though. I mean, do you

00:52:49.280 --> 00:52:52.179
really think this Epstein shit is real? No. I

00:52:52.179 --> 00:52:55.000
was thinking of this Jewish fucking Oi band they

00:52:55.000 --> 00:52:58.320
could be called Oi Vey. I like that. Wouldn't

00:52:58.320 --> 00:53:00.340
that be good? Yeah, Oi Vey's good. And they play

00:53:00.340 --> 00:53:03.039
like fucking, you know, hate rock for rallies.

00:53:04.159 --> 00:53:06.360
Like they fucking have in the Oi band, like the

00:53:06.360 --> 00:53:11.699
Oi bands do. Okay. Like on American History accent

00:53:11.699 --> 00:53:15.769
shit. Monoramen, how about Monoramen not at work?

00:53:16.269 --> 00:53:18.869
Yeah, and that could be the backup band for Oi

00:53:18.869 --> 00:53:24.269
Vang. Monoramen not at work. Or Monoramen at

00:53:24.269 --> 00:53:28.230
work. No, but not at work's fine. And then obviously

00:53:28.230 --> 00:53:30.769
Tunnel Jews. Mm -hmm. They'd have to back them

00:53:30.769 --> 00:53:34.610
up. Yeah, that's one of the bands. I can imagine

00:53:34.610 --> 00:53:43.940
the album Dirty Mattresses. Empty high chair

00:53:43.940 --> 00:53:48.440
the dreidel's I like fucking South Park Kyle's

00:53:48.440 --> 00:53:52.079
got an MC dreidel Poster on his wall like it's

00:53:52.079 --> 00:53:54.820
a rap like a Jewish rapper. Oh, yeah. Well, there

00:53:54.820 --> 00:53:57.699
are some Jewish rappers. There's a guy They're

00:53:57.699 --> 00:54:02.579
funny Giannis Matt Howard, whatever Listen, it's

00:54:02.579 --> 00:54:05.300
all subversion. They always weren't listen. I'm

00:54:05.300 --> 00:54:09.539
gonna tell you right now Tell me Yeah, well.

00:54:09.539 --> 00:54:12.039
We're nothing to them. That's it. If we could

00:54:12.039 --> 00:54:14.599
unify, we would be such an extraordinary force.

00:54:14.820 --> 00:54:17.440
I told you about working for Juman when he did

00:54:17.440 --> 00:54:19.559
all that crazy shit. He used to call me goy.

00:54:19.579 --> 00:54:25.900
The last time we unified, what happened? They

00:54:25.900 --> 00:54:29.079
closed the ice cream shop down. Where? It's a

00:54:29.079 --> 00:54:32.059
joke. It's all stupid, I said. The last time

00:54:32.059 --> 00:54:35.159
we tried to unify, IG Farben and everybody else

00:54:35.159 --> 00:54:38.019
stepped in and they just killed our own. They

00:54:38.019 --> 00:54:39.719
said who always goes to the front lines of a

00:54:39.719 --> 00:54:44.800
war? Jews never go to war do they? Well, yes

00:54:44.800 --> 00:54:50.679
personally unit 8200 the mega group They're not

00:54:50.679 --> 00:54:53.739
on the front lines Hollywood. No, they're on

00:54:53.739 --> 00:54:56.699
the front lines of subversion and fucking uh,

00:54:56.960 --> 00:55:00.639
sociopathic. How about, uh, uh, another Salzburg

00:55:00.639 --> 00:55:03.099
reference on the movie when they had Operation,

00:55:03.099 --> 00:55:06.539
uh, Blackie, it was Operation Human Shield and

00:55:06.539 --> 00:55:09.300
they strapped all the black people to the outside

00:55:09.300 --> 00:55:13.579
of the fucking tanks in the cars. It was fucking

00:55:13.579 --> 00:55:16.500
crazy. That's racist if you shoot them. It's

00:55:16.500 --> 00:55:18.679
not racist if you put them there. It's racist

00:55:18.679 --> 00:55:21.059
if you shoot them. Operation Human Shield. I

00:55:21.059 --> 00:55:23.260
mean, that kind of absolves you of all infractions

00:55:23.260 --> 00:55:26.820
right from the law. I would think so. What's

00:55:26.820 --> 00:55:33.000
up, Jay? How was it? How was it? Good, I'm glad.

00:55:33.440 --> 00:55:36.619
Thank God. I like your old school soap. Thank

00:55:36.619 --> 00:55:39.840
God your urinary tract is still working. Jesus,

00:55:40.019 --> 00:55:42.980
man. Thank God what? Your urinary tract still

00:55:42.980 --> 00:55:45.699
works. I'm grateful I have a healthy urinary

00:55:45.699 --> 00:55:47.840
tract, too. You get a lot of UTIs? Am I kidding?

00:55:47.980 --> 00:55:50.659
No, I don't. Jesus, Larry. Actually, no, I don't.

00:55:50.719 --> 00:55:54.010
Good, good. Well, because she's... Cuz I'm cleansing

00:55:54.010 --> 00:55:56.809
out with a lot of guys. She just has sickle cell.

00:55:58.269 --> 00:56:02.489
I have sickle cell. You caught that from Don

00:56:02.489 --> 00:56:08.030
Terrius? You and Don Terrius got into a scratching

00:56:08.030 --> 00:56:11.989
fight. Caught sickle cell. Sickle cell under

00:56:11.989 --> 00:56:15.599
his nails. That's what happened. He caught it

00:56:15.599 --> 00:56:17.300
from a and that's what I do when I fight. He's

00:56:17.300 --> 00:56:24.340
caught it from an old scratch, too That's like

00:56:24.340 --> 00:56:28.599
the catalyst Popeyes is like the Wuhan lab first

00:56:28.599 --> 00:56:31.340
Yeah, so he was eating chicken got under his

00:56:31.340 --> 00:56:36.559
nails and he scratched a white lady Mm -hmm.

00:56:36.719 --> 00:56:41.159
That's how I have a spirit air and that was it.

00:56:41.159 --> 00:56:44.619
That was like the auto She took a spirit airline

00:56:44.619 --> 00:56:48.039
down to Miami for a Carnival cruise and it was

00:56:48.039 --> 00:56:53.780
all it was all over She had to fight the buffet

00:56:53.780 --> 00:57:00.900
she killed someone over a pork chop Crab legs

00:57:05.110 --> 00:57:14.389
Pulled his eyeballs out Okay, oh Have you seen

00:57:14.389 --> 00:57:19.389
Have you seen so stupid you talked to Spalding

00:57:19.389 --> 00:57:22.630
today? No boys. Have you been here? Have I seen

00:57:22.630 --> 00:57:27.250
what Spalding never Spalding I Got him. I adopted

00:57:27.250 --> 00:57:31.469
him at Sue's house. Oh god. I Don't that thing

00:57:31.469 --> 00:57:35.039
is scary Joe. Well, it's right behind you No,

00:57:35.039 --> 00:57:36.840
it creeps me out. I don't want to touch that

00:57:36.840 --> 00:57:41.500
freaking thing. It's creepy. We made him a swing.

00:57:41.860 --> 00:57:49.400
Look at it. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Isn't that

00:57:49.400 --> 00:57:53.340
great? We made him a baby swing. I went to KFC

00:57:53.340 --> 00:57:57.239
because he wanted it. And I said to him, could

00:57:57.239 --> 00:58:13.449
I get a bar off KFC? Is that a fucking... Of

00:58:13.449 --> 00:58:15.769
course he ate the chicken Jay before we made

00:58:15.769 --> 00:58:18.989
I Don't like the Kentucky fried chicken, but

00:58:18.989 --> 00:58:21.130
that's the best part of the swing. The thing

00:58:21.130 --> 00:58:24.460
is funny Yes, no, what was I gonna do you needed

00:58:24.460 --> 00:58:27.000
a fucking swing? I'm not gonna buy a swing for

00:58:27.000 --> 00:58:29.280
him. Yeah, he's gonna outgrow it You just steal

00:58:29.280 --> 00:58:39.260
it a couple years from now I don't even know

00:58:39.260 --> 00:58:46.300
last time he got oh man one more good You get

00:58:46.300 --> 00:58:48.519
an extra hormone so they have like six legs and

00:58:48.519 --> 00:58:50.519
stuff. Oh, here we go. This is one more fancy,

00:58:50.579 --> 00:58:56.880
okay? So, on this day in 1931, Taekwon Dochelle

00:58:56.880 --> 00:59:00.480
Blake makes history when he became the first

00:59:00.480 --> 00:59:02.679
black father to leave for a pack of cigarettes.

00:59:02.739 --> 00:59:13.880
Oh, nice. 1841. 1931. 1931. Nice. I gotta go

00:59:13.880 --> 00:59:15.639
get a pack of new boards. Look at the kid in

00:59:15.639 --> 00:59:17.159
the window. There's gonna be a headline, needles

00:59:17.159 --> 00:59:20.500
get speed up. Dumb shit he said about black people.

00:59:20.719 --> 00:59:22.400
Dude, it's a joke. It's Black History Month.

00:59:22.880 --> 00:59:25.340
Yeah, it's Black History Month, dude. It's Black

00:59:25.340 --> 00:59:27.519
History Month. I've got stuff on Twitter. The

00:59:27.519 --> 00:59:28.780
shit's out on the internet in one of these days.

00:59:28.800 --> 00:59:30.920
Twitter never lies. Sometimes I wish you guys

00:59:30.920 --> 00:59:31.639
would have been wearing masks. They'll be like,

00:59:31.860 --> 00:59:36.500
hey, there's that motherfucker. Yeah. Why? What

00:59:36.500 --> 00:59:39.219
have I done wrong? Needles, you offend black

00:59:39.219 --> 00:59:40.860
people constantly, and there's gonna be a big

00:59:40.860 --> 00:59:41.860
black man that's gonna beat your ass. I mean,

00:59:42.099 --> 00:59:44.159
clip it. It's funny. Clip it and send it. You'll

00:59:44.159 --> 00:59:46.239
beat your ass one of these days. Any black man

00:59:46.239 --> 00:59:49.489
that's watching it would fucking laugh. We don't

00:59:49.489 --> 00:59:52.610
hate blacks. We haven't said the N -word at once

00:59:52.610 --> 00:59:58.730
today. Not once. Not once. Well, that is a good

00:59:58.730 --> 01:00:00.789
thing. You know we need a sign? You know the

01:00:00.789 --> 01:00:03.650
sign that says this is an accident? Yeah, how

01:00:03.650 --> 01:00:10.110
many days since you said the N -word? And we

01:00:10.110 --> 01:00:13.150
can change it. No, at the beginning of the episode.

01:00:13.849 --> 01:00:19.909
Zero. Every episode is zero. That's a terrible

01:00:19.909 --> 01:00:22.969
word. But it's meant to be funny. We don't mean

01:00:22.969 --> 01:00:26.769
any ill will towards anybody at all. No. We're

01:00:26.769 --> 01:00:29.849
retarded. Look at us. I got a tashiki on. I'm

01:00:29.849 --> 01:00:31.369
part of the people. Yeah, man. He's one of them.

01:00:31.449 --> 01:00:35.010
As -salamu alaykum, brother. Do you know what

01:00:35.010 --> 01:00:37.630
that means? Do you know what that means? Yeah.

01:00:37.849 --> 01:00:40.889
What does it mean? Hello, my brother. And word

01:00:40.889 --> 01:00:42.989
no, it's not what it means. It's like what's

01:00:42.989 --> 01:00:52.909
up my nigga? See you can't go one episode We

01:00:52.909 --> 01:00:56.809
can't even get insurance Larry on this place

01:00:56.809 --> 01:00:59.610
Man, and if you look it up in the dictionary,

01:00:59.630 --> 01:01:03.429
that's nothing to do with color. No, I know It's

01:01:03.429 --> 01:01:05.610
associated with the black panther it is not it's

01:01:05.610 --> 01:01:08.099
Islam actually No, no, not the make -a -like

01:01:08.099 --> 01:01:10.320
-a -hiney -ho thing. That's Pee -wee Herman.

01:01:10.500 --> 01:01:13.619
Oh. And that was a black guy who said that, right?

01:01:13.800 --> 01:01:15.820
Make -a -like -a -hi, make -a -hiney -ho. What's

01:01:15.820 --> 01:01:18.820
that motherfucker's name? Jules? Yeah, his head

01:01:18.820 --> 01:01:20.820
was in the box or something. Yeah, there you

01:01:20.820 --> 01:01:23.500
go. A black guy's head in a box. The scariest

01:01:23.500 --> 01:01:28.420
gift ever. Put me in the Kona by the bed, whitey.

01:01:28.480 --> 01:01:33.960
Let me watch. Exactly. Open up the box, motherfucker.

01:01:34.039 --> 01:01:37.570
Now give her a right hook. Until it was late

01:01:37.570 --> 01:01:43.210
again, Pee -wee, 15 minutes. She didn't learn

01:01:43.210 --> 01:01:46.449
the first time, Pee -wee. You're gonna have to

01:01:46.449 --> 01:01:52.510
hit her again. Poor Pee -wee. Jay has gone radio

01:01:52.510 --> 01:01:55.389
silent. My dad watched Pee -wee's Playhouse every

01:01:55.389 --> 01:01:57.909
fucking day, and then I was like, I walked in

01:01:57.909 --> 01:01:59.869
one day, because I'm getting ready for work when

01:01:59.869 --> 01:02:02.460
I still isn't at home. What the fuck are you

01:02:02.460 --> 01:02:04.639
watching? He's like, ah, you never saw this?

01:02:04.639 --> 01:02:07.460
And I was like, no. And I was like, holy fuck.

01:02:07.519 --> 01:02:09.579
And then I started watching it. That show is

01:02:09.579 --> 01:02:11.699
like you're trippin' without any - Demonic. Yeah,

01:02:11.699 --> 01:02:14.500
it's crazy. And you feel like you're trippin'.

01:02:14.500 --> 01:02:16.320
Yeah. It's like a chair that talks. It is like

01:02:16.320 --> 01:02:17.960
you're trippin'. Jack guy with a head in the

01:02:17.960 --> 01:02:22.400
back. Cherry. Mm -hmm. Hmm, cherry. Some gay

01:02:22.400 --> 01:02:27.739
dude in like a gray suit. They didn't have any

01:02:27.739 --> 01:02:29.639
kids though on the show, did they? No. Because

01:02:29.639 --> 01:02:31.639
he was gay. Because he wasn't allowed to be around.

01:02:33.039 --> 01:02:36.219
He had fucking claws where he couldn't be 500

01:02:36.219 --> 01:02:38.559
feet from kids. Well, and then they couldn't...

01:02:38.559 --> 01:02:41.039
Leave him alone. He got it fucking raked against

01:02:41.039 --> 01:02:43.500
the coals enough. I know. Leave the guy alone.

01:02:43.639 --> 01:02:46.340
He couldn't film by a school. Yeah. Oh, stop

01:02:46.340 --> 01:02:47.980
it. And then he got caught beating up in the

01:02:47.980 --> 01:02:51.030
gay theater. That was all set up. That was awesome.

01:02:51.030 --> 01:02:54.389
They fucked him over. One dude gets busted jerking

01:02:54.389 --> 01:02:56.510
off in the game. Yeah, the guy who busted him

01:02:56.510 --> 01:02:59.050
was jerking off too. I had a fucking... So the

01:02:59.050 --> 01:03:00.809
guy's in an adult theater, leave him alone. I

01:03:00.809 --> 01:03:02.949
used to have a button that showed Peewee in a

01:03:02.949 --> 01:03:04.690
trench coat. It was like a drawing and it said,

01:03:04.969 --> 01:03:07.570
Peewee must go free. I wish I knew where it was.

01:03:07.989 --> 01:03:10.889
And then the trench coat opened? No, it was for

01:03:10.889 --> 01:03:13.309
me to know when he got busted. Well, technically

01:03:13.309 --> 01:03:14.969
you're rubbing your thumb. Yeah, it's like you

01:03:14.969 --> 01:03:16.309
should be able to beat off in public. You're

01:03:16.309 --> 01:03:18.670
punching midgets in the fucking game, Sticky.

01:03:19.299 --> 01:03:22.079
In a gay movie theater. I mean you're in a freaking

01:03:22.079 --> 01:03:24.440
pornographic theater. Give me a break. Right?

01:03:25.079 --> 01:03:27.500
The guy who busted him was just some piece of

01:03:27.500 --> 01:03:30.079
shit asshole who just freaking threw pee -wee

01:03:30.079 --> 01:03:32.119
onto the bus stop. It was horrible. Is that a

01:03:32.119 --> 01:03:34.840
gay term? It was wrong. It was just wrong. What

01:03:34.840 --> 01:03:37.800
does that mean? He's behind him and throws him

01:03:37.800 --> 01:03:41.039
down? Flat? How does that work? He just shoots

01:03:41.039 --> 01:03:44.559
a school up. Just because you're beaten up doesn't

01:03:44.559 --> 01:03:46.780
make it gay either. Well if you're watching gay

01:03:46.780 --> 01:03:49.599
porn it kind of does. It never said it was gay

01:03:49.599 --> 01:03:53.360
porn. It was a gay porn theater No, you're make

01:03:53.360 --> 01:03:55.400
known he knows you're adding that I think this

01:03:55.400 --> 01:03:58.099
but I'm calling Mandela effect. You're adding

01:03:58.099 --> 01:04:01.400
that Mandela effect. Yeah, well you think you

01:04:01.400 --> 01:04:03.119
remember something right and it's not and it

01:04:03.119 --> 01:04:06.059
wasn't right Well, it's in the Mandela effect

01:04:06.059 --> 01:04:08.539
where someone dies and then you think they're

01:04:08.539 --> 01:04:10.360
dead and then all of a sudden you hear that Yeah

01:04:10.360 --> 01:04:14.969
again later Like I can't remember Who it was

01:04:14.969 --> 01:04:17.269
that I heard died like three different times,

01:04:17.269 --> 01:04:19.409
and I'd be like, man, I thought that motherfucker

01:04:19.409 --> 01:04:21.489
died already, and they kept telling us. Mandela

01:04:21.489 --> 01:04:24.530
himself. Twice called the Mandela effect. It

01:04:24.530 --> 01:04:26.530
was Mandela. People said he was dead. Yeah, but

01:04:26.530 --> 01:04:29.710
it was an American. Richard Simmons, too. It

01:04:29.710 --> 01:04:32.429
was an American star, and it was like a fucking,

01:04:32.789 --> 01:04:35.309
it was a... Richard Simmons, also. Game show

01:04:35.309 --> 01:04:39.150
host, one of those, like, Bob Barker. Like, three

01:04:39.150 --> 01:04:40.170
different times. Well, you remember him being

01:04:40.170 --> 01:04:42.469
dead, like, years ago, and then recently him

01:04:42.469 --> 01:04:45.789
being dead. No, cause I remember him announcing

01:04:45.789 --> 01:04:48.329
him dead and then announcing him dead and then

01:04:48.329 --> 01:04:51.250
again later announcing him dead, you know, years

01:04:51.250 --> 01:04:53.929
later. And I'd be like, wait, what the fuck is

01:04:53.929 --> 01:04:55.690
going on? I'd be like, I thought he died. And

01:04:55.690 --> 01:04:58.710
everyone's like, oh no, he's alive. And I'm always

01:04:58.710 --> 01:05:02.449
like, what the fuck is going on? You know, something

01:05:02.449 --> 01:05:04.110
is going on. Same thing with Richard Simmons.

01:05:04.429 --> 01:05:08.409
Yeah, and it's like, okay, wait. He was dead.

01:05:08.489 --> 01:05:12.309
How can he be dead now? Just now? No, we're just

01:05:12.309 --> 01:05:16.889
saying, like, Richard Simmons or Bob Barker or

01:05:16.889 --> 01:05:19.150
all these people that you hear that they died

01:05:19.150 --> 01:05:21.050
several times. And you're like, I thought they

01:05:21.050 --> 01:05:22.789
already died. And people are like, oh, no, they're

01:05:22.789 --> 01:05:25.789
alive. And then you're like, what the fuck is

01:05:25.789 --> 01:05:32.039
going on? where they have the cornucopia and

01:05:32.039 --> 01:05:34.980
they don't have the cornucopia. And then the

01:05:34.980 --> 01:05:38.460
Shazam movie. Yes. I watched that movie. Shazam

01:05:38.460 --> 01:05:41.920
is real. Sinbad. Yes. People say it wasn't even

01:05:41.920 --> 01:05:44.579
made, but there it is. They memory hold it. I

01:05:44.579 --> 01:05:45.659
watched it. Unless you have a video of it. Well

01:05:45.659 --> 01:05:46.800
no, but they just alter our reality. Because

01:05:46.800 --> 01:05:49.280
I love Sinbad. I watched that. But you wonder

01:05:49.280 --> 01:05:51.300
how they would alter our reality? Through the

01:05:51.300 --> 01:05:52.840
internet. Bernstein Bears is the way it's spelled.

01:05:53.099 --> 01:05:55.440
Berenstein and Berenstein. Berenstein or Berenstein.

01:05:55.780 --> 01:05:58.869
You remember it differently? Hmm. Another one

01:05:58.869 --> 01:06:01.349
is that Richard... Another one is that Richard

01:06:01.349 --> 01:06:04.510
Simmons... Those were Jew bears. Oh yeah. I just

01:06:04.510 --> 01:06:06.670
realized that the Berenstein bears, they were

01:06:06.670 --> 01:06:10.650
Jew bears. I wonder if Bob's wife Carrie Berenstein

01:06:10.650 --> 01:06:15.030
is a Jew. Richard Simmons. I remember him wearing

01:06:15.030 --> 01:06:16.250
a headband. Let's just not say people's names

01:06:16.250 --> 01:06:19.170
on the podcast. I'm sorry. Well, too late now.

01:06:19.269 --> 01:06:20.610
You can't say you're sorry you already said.

01:06:21.530 --> 01:06:25.110
I love those guys, so... That doesn't really...

01:06:25.110 --> 01:06:27.110
I mean, it capitulates the story that you're

01:06:27.110 --> 01:06:29.969
doing. Those are pretty random names, though.

01:06:30.050 --> 01:06:32.030
Yeah, but you shouldn't be saying them, how's

01:06:32.030 --> 01:06:35.250
that? Yeah. But no, they want you to believe

01:06:35.250 --> 01:06:37.289
that everything is real, and it's not, it's all

01:06:37.289 --> 01:06:39.050
fake and gay. Everything is fake and gay, you

01:06:39.050 --> 01:06:40.369
understand that, Jay? No, I'm saying there are

01:06:40.369 --> 01:06:42.110
a couple things that I remember that you can't

01:06:42.110 --> 01:06:44.889
find it now. Right, right. Well, yeah. I totally

01:06:44.889 --> 01:06:46.889
remember Richard Simmons wearing a headband and

01:06:46.889 --> 01:06:47.969
he can't find a picture. That's called memory

01:06:47.969 --> 01:06:50.969
holes. I don't know about that. I remember him

01:06:50.969 --> 01:06:53.110
wearing a headband. That's kind of weird, though.

01:06:53.650 --> 01:06:55.429
That's one of those weird things where it's like

01:06:55.429 --> 01:06:58.050
that's a person. You know what I mean? The Berenstein

01:06:58.050 --> 01:07:00.449
Bears, the Cornucopia, Fruit of the Loom, the

01:07:00.449 --> 01:07:03.030
movie. That was something that was actually physically

01:07:03.030 --> 01:07:04.849
made. Captain Crunch, too, isn't it? But isn't

01:07:04.849 --> 01:07:06.530
it weird? It was like Captain or Captain, the

01:07:06.530 --> 01:07:08.530
way it's spelled. Captain, there was a N. Isn't

01:07:08.530 --> 01:07:13.090
it Captain? There's two versions of it. Captain

01:07:13.090 --> 01:07:14.630
Crunch. I can't remember. Because that's what

01:07:14.630 --> 01:07:16.190
they do. They alter, they're trying to alter.

01:07:16.190 --> 01:07:18.690
It's like Captain, apostrophe, and the N. And

01:07:18.690 --> 01:07:20.949
then a different way that it's spelled. Captain,

01:07:21.190 --> 01:07:23.949
like how they spell Captain. But you don't know

01:07:23.949 --> 01:07:25.250
how to spell, so you don't know how that is.

01:07:25.250 --> 01:07:27.690
Yeah, that is true. I'll say that. I do not have

01:07:27.690 --> 01:07:28.429
common sense when it comes to spelling. Good

01:07:28.429 --> 01:07:30.610
point, Larry. Very good point. That's true, actually.

01:07:31.630 --> 01:07:33.349
I'm not a good speller, everybody knows that.

01:07:33.369 --> 01:07:34.110
I'm a horrible speller. That's all right, though.

01:07:34.110 --> 01:07:37.070
They don't judge you on that shit. I'm not saying

01:07:37.070 --> 01:07:39.409
they want... Nobody's great at everything. No.

01:07:39.409 --> 01:07:41.409
Everything is real. And you're great at everything

01:07:41.409 --> 01:07:43.230
else, so that'd be crazy. I'm good at math. I'm

01:07:43.230 --> 01:07:44.610
actually really good at math, but I was never

01:07:44.610 --> 01:07:45.969
good at math. Oh, girls are not good at math.

01:07:46.070 --> 01:07:48.389
Write that down. Oh, shit, I'm good at math.

01:07:48.980 --> 01:07:51.500
That's not true. I was gonna say scientist. I'm

01:07:51.500 --> 01:07:52.739
pretty good at math. Girls can't do math. Numbers

01:07:52.739 --> 01:07:56.659
don't lie. I'm pretty good at math. Girls can't

01:07:56.659 --> 01:07:57.760
do math. You know what they're good at though?

01:07:58.280 --> 01:08:01.400
Honeypot. Oh yeah. You know what that is Jay?

01:08:02.440 --> 01:08:04.519
No and I don't want to. You know what a honeypot

01:08:04.519 --> 01:08:06.719
is? I do not and I don't want to. You ever heard

01:08:06.719 --> 01:08:09.230
of Winnie the Pooh Likes? You know what he does?

01:08:09.349 --> 01:08:12.230
He gets his hand caught in the honey jar. Is

01:08:12.230 --> 01:08:14.289
anything sacred with you? You didn't bring in

01:08:14.289 --> 01:08:15.789
Winnie the Pooh. Leave it alone. Guy wearing

01:08:15.789 --> 01:08:18.470
old pants. Nothing sacred with you. He walks

01:08:18.470 --> 01:08:21.350
around all day. He ain't got no dick and balls

01:08:21.350 --> 01:08:23.430
either. Who cares? How do you know? Did you walk

01:08:23.430 --> 01:08:25.829
around all day with a cop shirt? All under his

01:08:25.829 --> 01:08:29.390
fur. He's just hugging a child with his dick

01:08:29.390 --> 01:08:32.329
and balls out. Leave him alone. Who wants a bear

01:08:32.329 --> 01:08:35.760
hug a child that's just wearing a t -shirt? That's

01:08:35.760 --> 01:08:38.500
even more creep. Oh my god. It's a cartoon me.

01:08:38.500 --> 01:08:40.439
I went into the fucking street It's a fucking

01:08:40.439 --> 01:08:42.420
cartoon if I went into the strip club with the

01:08:42.420 --> 01:08:46.140
t -shirt out in it. It's a stress ball You knew

01:08:46.140 --> 01:08:49.500
I liked little bear remember him Do you know

01:08:49.500 --> 01:08:52.319
that cartoon Jane little bear that makes me think

01:08:52.319 --> 01:08:54.579
of the Berenstain bears? Well, no, but this was

01:08:54.579 --> 01:08:57.409
little bear and it was a family And it was a

01:08:57.409 --> 01:09:00.689
mom and dad and the son and the voices were so

01:09:00.689 --> 01:09:03.810
soothing and my mom would be babysitting Mikey

01:09:03.810 --> 01:09:07.869
in the morning And I'd be going to work. I was

01:09:07.869 --> 01:09:10.529
supposed to be I was supposed to be there at

01:09:10.529 --> 01:09:14.069
10 and Little Bear started at 10 and I was always

01:09:14.069 --> 01:09:17.779
late and you're watching cartoons And then I

01:09:17.779 --> 01:09:21.840
would get sucked in the Little Bear and I'd stand

01:09:21.840 --> 01:09:24.760
there for like a half hour standing there watching

01:09:24.760 --> 01:09:27.500
the fucking cartoon and then I'd be like, holy

01:09:27.500 --> 01:09:30.260
fuck man, I'm really late for work now. I'd be

01:09:30.260 --> 01:09:34.319
like, you know, half hour. Extra late. that I

01:09:34.319 --> 01:09:36.020
already was gonna be. It's very easy to explain

01:09:36.020 --> 01:09:38.380
to your other employees that have been watching

01:09:38.380 --> 01:09:40.600
cartoons for the last half hour. Yeah, really

01:09:40.600 --> 01:09:43.239
dumb ones. Yeah, I've never even heard of this

01:09:43.239 --> 01:09:44.920
cartoon. For really little kids. I don't recall

01:09:44.920 --> 01:09:47.739
it either. Little Bear was wild. Well, it's all

01:09:47.739 --> 01:09:50.800
predictive programming, that's all they do. Trauma

01:09:50.800 --> 01:09:54.399
-based mind control. Alright, let's fucking end

01:09:54.399 --> 01:09:56.420
this shit. Thanks for tuning in everybody. Thank

01:09:56.420 --> 01:10:00.449
you very much. Tune in. Always a slice, boys.

01:10:00.550 --> 01:10:03.430
The worst podcast in the world. Yeah. Thanks,

01:10:03.489 --> 01:10:05.149
Jay. I wouldn't say that. There's much worse.

01:10:05.550 --> 01:10:07.369
What do you mean, thanks, Jay? How damn dare

01:10:07.369 --> 01:10:09.989
you? No, no. I mean, thanks for doing it. Oh.

01:10:10.329 --> 01:10:12.430
Well, you're welcome. It was always the worst

01:10:12.430 --> 01:10:15.029
podcast. I would do anything for you, boys. Really?

01:10:15.310 --> 01:10:19.750
Mostly anything. Peace. Chill. Thank you. Don't

01:10:19.750 --> 01:10:22.369
get fucking nutty, Needles. Don't get nutty.

01:10:25.319 --> 01:10:28.000
LERRY AND AIDA SHOW