WEBVTT

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Me, I just heard the revolting. Hey, everybody.

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Happy New Year. Merry New Year. Welcome to the

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Larry Needles Show. I'm Larry. And I'm Needles.

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And this is? Don Anforth. Yay! And B Spalding.

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We got Spalding. And B Spalding. Finally off

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probation. You can't tell from his ankle bracelet.

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There's that paper towel, clean this just fine.

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It's a diaper, dude. All right, stop, stop, stop.

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Okay, keep talking, Larry, come on. These are

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real diapers. No, we're not looking at your fake

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baby. Get the hell out of here. Don Hanford,

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how you doing? I know. Don Hanford's okay. He

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could use a better diaper. Yeah, Don Hanford's

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doing okay. You need to be put in prison, Larry.

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You have a fake Negro baby, and you just checked

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its diaper and looked at its penis. He's a mulatto.

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That is more offensive than saying n -word. Is

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it? I think so, I don't know. I don't think so.

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I say both of them, so I don't know which one's

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more offensive. Non -white. Non -white is probably

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more offensive. Non -white. I'm gonna just say

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that from now on. What's up, mulatto? I wouldn't

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let Needles lie that he's going to fuck you up.

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Could you name your kid Mulatto? Mulatto Jones,

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yeah. Mulatto Jones. Mulatto steals a lot. His

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middle name is Steals. Last name, a lot. So what's

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going on in Iran? You hear these people are revolting,

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I guess. Yeah, man. Yeah, you heard what happened

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the other weekend? I saw two shines in the alley

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and I ran. Yeah. Right. That's a good move. Run

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from a black. Run from a black. Run from a knife

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or try to attack with a gun. But Larry, we did

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Krav Maga and he won't say anything because he's

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too stoned. Larry's about to get wrecked, so

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listen, he's not going to say anything for the

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next 15 to 20 minutes. You don't run from it,

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you run at it. You don't rerun from it. What

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are you doing? Yeah, man. You don't want a rerun?

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What's happening? Yeah, yeah. What's happening?

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I'm smoking this joint. So how was your new year,

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Mark? I had to work. I was fine. Did you have

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any dope? No. Liar. I worked. I worked. Yeah,

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you didn't. Until, like, they were done at, like,

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8, 3, 9 o 'clock. Were you speaking English?

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Yeah. Yeah, he said it worked till 8, 3, 9 o

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'clock. It was a good night. And I went home.

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You still got them Cook County shower shoes with

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two different socks. At least in jail they have

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matching socks. I got a matching pair at home

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just like it. What do you mean? Yeah, two pairs.

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Mine actually match. That's alright. Larry looks

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like he's been hanging out in Finocchio. Just

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touching kids. My socks have some kind of horror

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Pennywise. You're so scary. Were you guys up

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late? Did you celebrate the New Year's after

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midnight? Oh, yes, we did. Yeah, man, we were

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jamming. We played until like about four in the

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morning. Oh, wow. Needle's saying, he's saying,

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LA Woman with us, and you could see it on Caribou

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Heart TV. If you want to see how much the Larry

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and Needle's family are of dirtbags, you should

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really watch this stream because Let's see. Steamboat's

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girlfriend fell over in the middle of the floor

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in front of me. While we were playing one of

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Evan's songs that's called I'm a Drunk. I'm a

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Drunk, literally it's called I'm a Drunk, I'm

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a Drunk, I'm a Drunk. No, it just says I'm a

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Drunk, I'm a Drunk, I'm a Drunk and we're all

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getting hammered in the background. That's a

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good song. It really was and then fucking...

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Nina Petino. Nina fell down as we were singing

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it. She literally fell at my feet like Judas.

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Here's your 30 pence. I'm going to betray you

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and be an asshole. Maybe your needles were tripping.

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Yes. And we ate some molly. I mean, we were tripping.

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Like I said, I got my chair in the basement.

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I do have my chair. It's a leopard skin print.

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Like gothic chair with these big black arms.

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It's the most comfortable chair and dude I was

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at one point I was sitting there and the floor

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raised above The funny thing is we were on camera

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the whole time. We didn't even realize it. One

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of our boys was recording us. I knew we were

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on camera because I knew we were going to play

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on the internet all day. One camera, not three.

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Yeah, that I didn't know. He had three cameras

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set up throughout the whole fucking basement.

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Was everybody tripping or just you guys? No,

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just us. Well, you know what? We're the only

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real heroes. I gave some to Bobby and I gave

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some to Nina. Oh, you did? Yeah. And Mary, too.

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Oh, Mary, I know. So basically, almost everyone

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was trippin'. Everyone but Jay. And Tony Belloni.

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Tony and Evan. And I offered Tony, but he said

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he didn't want it. No. Okay, so now you didn't

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realize yet, because Larry and I were zoomed

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in. So everybody was, but you know, what are

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you gonna do? Like we said before, well, listen,

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who the fuck do you wanna spend your time with

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in your life? Your friends? You shoulda came

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over here, but you're retarded. I can't do anything

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about that. I can't bring a fucking retarded

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horse to water and not make him shit. You know

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what I mean? You were working right down the

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street. You was a 10 minute drive. That's why

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it was a 10 -minute drive for this guy not even

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yeah, maybe he's fucking shot though took me

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a fucking yeah took me an hour to get here Busy

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dude. Yeah, I worked out day two ass clown Not

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out and clean your floors in your apartment We're

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gonna need a band. Why? Fuck that. So I get the

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karaoke machine and learn those Italian songs.

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No, you do hip hop. Whatever you want. That's

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what it's gonna turn into. Bring your guitar,

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you know. It's gonna make your hair curly if

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you go in there. People ask you what to play,

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you know. Like what? What do you like to hear?

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Well, listen, listen to what we did today. Listen

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to what we did. Me... And John and Bobby played

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Ramones, Buzzcocks, Sex Pistols, and we slowed

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it down real slow with the piano and the acoustic

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guitars. And we made it like some kind of lounge

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fucking shit. I said, man, we should fucking

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make an album like this, because people would

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be like, oh, it sounds... When it was super slowed

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down and shit, and done that way, it sounded

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like completely different fucking songs. Mark

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my word, Larry's gonna be done in tight minutes.

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The one guy at Sunday brunch, he played the piano,

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at Sunday brunch, and he would play all these

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rock numbers, toned down. And I would know him,

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you know what I mean? I'd be like, wow, dude,

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that was cool. Everyone else thinks he's listening

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to some kind of classical song, and he's playing

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in... I'm told that. Yeah, but Black Hole Son

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was doing a lot of that. Black Hole Son. Black

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Hole Son, where? Soundgarden. Yeah, but where?

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That's Chris Cornell. Yeah, Chris Cornell Sound,

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but where? At the brunch, the piano player at

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brunch. At brunch, you're playing Black Hole

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Son? Yes, exactly. It's kick ass. Yeah, for you.

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When you do it on the piano, though, it sounds

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real nice. No, it doesn't. It's like... Right,

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he's playing it up the style. A little finesse.

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He's gaying it out, shall we say. You two love

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that, just a little gaying out, don't you? Well,

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it's funny, these were the same guys. God, every

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time I see you, you look more and more like a

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bag lady. Seriously, the hat gets lower, the

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shirts get higher. Next thing you know, he's

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gonna bring a fucking pigeon here. Fucking ass

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clown. I give those guys lots of money, man.

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Yeah, you give who? The pigeons? The homeless.

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Oh, I backmold you give them, because they give

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you drugs. Yeah, the homeless have the best,

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they get the best drugs that you can tell them.

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For nooks and the homeless. Yeah. The one night

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I was standing in line. We're at the glory hole.

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No in the Rockwell Gardens. Oh even better So

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you had your ass out No one's got nothing and

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the one guy was man. Oh, he goes you got that

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red car, man I wouldn't get yourself like man.

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How you I got that red car because I see you

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all the time and he showed he's the guy at the

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intersection with the It's a squeegee. Yeah,

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it was a little short guy. I told you. What did

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I just say? Who gets the best drugs? So you let

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the homeless guy in your car. Couldn't smell

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any words. And then he blew him. Then we kissed

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on the mouth. So did you get it? Yeah, like three

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other guys jumped in. Ah, man. This sounds like

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a gay porno. Yeah. That's the name of the porno.

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There's nothing happening. It's Sunday evening.

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Nothing's happening, right? And then one guy

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in the back is eight. Nothing happening. Call

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this number. Call this number. Call this number.

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Larry, how big is the hood? And nothing's happening.

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We couldn't score a shit. Except kisses. So I

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looked at the number and I go, oh, this is Slim.

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This is Slim. He's bowling. He'll be done in

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11. He's bowling. Man, you know Slim. I'm like,

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yeah, I know Slim. Slim, the black guy. And I'm

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sure he wasn't Slim. He was probably like 400

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pounds. And he was bowling. He was called John,

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but they call him Slim. Yeah, Big John, but they

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call him Slim. So it was just ironic that I knew

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the number and shit. Well, back to Rockwell Gardens.

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I mean, you don't got to keep saying the name

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over and over again, but that's fine. Yeah. Yeah.

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And then what'd you do? I just dropped him off

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at home. Everyone learned several ways. Let me

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tell you, Don Anforth is the epitome of I will

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take my dick anywhere and just do anything. No,

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I don't do things with my dick, no. Exactly.

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That's the whole point of it. You're not following

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Puss, dude. That's the irony of it. You're just

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like, I will take my dick anywhere to get whatever

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I want. But that's all right, though. I mean,

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like I said, back in the day during Cabrini Green,

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we used to go down there and they would drop

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a bucket. And you would put your money in the

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bucket and they would pull it up and they would

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drop it down. No, we went to the hand. There

00:11:58.399 --> 00:12:00.460
was a hand that would just come out of a house.

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And I hate to talk about this stuff. It's not

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who we're not. The only one who's like this is

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Spalding and Don Anfor. My mom and dad were telling

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me when they were younger, they went on vacation

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to like Canada or something. Canada. And they

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had a bear. He was sitting on the top of a pole

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on a little platform. And you'd put like a marshmallow

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or something in the cup. Hmm. Oh, the bear would

00:12:26.710 --> 00:12:28.789
pull it up. Yeah. Choo -choo -choo -choo. It

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was on a pulley. Man. Then he would get the food,

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and then he choo -choo -choo -choo. Put the thing

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back down? Yeah, because he wants more shrimp.

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He was like, man, I can't. And my dad was going,

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ping, on the bottom of the cup, and he would

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pull it up. There's nothing in there, and he'd

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be like, motherfucker. He was getting mad. My

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dad did it a few times. Is this real? He was

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in his 20s. Is this real? Yeah, this is real.

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Are you sure? Yeah, this is what they told me,

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man. OK, but I'm just saying, do you know asinine

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that sounds? You know, my dad was like, I don't

00:12:58.179 --> 00:13:01.379
know, 20. I'm not saying that, I'm not talking

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about the validity of his age, I'm talking about

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the story. He's like, a bear was in a tree and

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he put a marshmallow in the bucket and then you

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flicked a bucket. Dude, how many motherfuckers

00:13:15.779 --> 00:13:20.360
fed this? Dude, this bear had to be 5 ,000 pounds

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with all the treats it was getting. Oh, they're

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giving it little fucking bits, man. I had Roscoe

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train to come with the clicker for one piece

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of food. Motherfucker, we're talking about a

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bear in a tree with a bucket, not a dog with

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a clicker. Speaking of bears, do you know about

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this Wojtek? Wojtek? The bear, the Polish bear

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that's in the Polish army? The Wojtek. Wojtek.

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He's a joke bear, boy. This is a living bear.

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He was a live bear. Oh wait, okay, so wait, what

00:13:49.779 --> 00:13:55.639
year? It wasn't World War II, but it was some

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wartime shit. So, World War I? I don't know,

00:14:00.299 --> 00:14:03.320
maybe, but it's possible. Man, without Kiki,

00:14:03.600 --> 00:14:06.059
you two retards can't tell a good story. Well,

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I texted it to the group today. Okay. Oh, yeah,

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I saw that, but I couldn't watch it because it

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was on YouTube. And I don't have an account on

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YouTube. Oh, okay. Well, anyways, he, uh... That

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motherfucker was drinking a bottle of booze,

00:14:18.919 --> 00:14:21.649
the bear. Yeah, well, he was in the Polish army.

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The bear was? Yeah. The Polak leader. Come on,

00:14:27.330 --> 00:14:29.789
this isn't a joke. No, this is true. No, this

00:14:29.789 --> 00:14:34.590
is not real. There was a Polak bear that drank

00:14:34.590 --> 00:14:36.970
vodka. He was drinking vodka. It's so sweet,

00:14:37.049 --> 00:14:39.129
yeah. No, listen, here's what happened. First

00:14:39.129 --> 00:14:41.629
of all, whatever you say, I'm not gonna back

00:14:41.629 --> 00:14:45.139
it up. It's true. He said, yeah, man, this is

00:14:45.139 --> 00:14:49.000
real. I know it's fake that automatically. No,

00:14:49.080 --> 00:14:52.000
it's not. Israel what? Here's what happened,

00:14:52.759 --> 00:14:58.659
man. The guy traded some fucking wild, you know,

00:14:58.860 --> 00:15:01.159
some native people. No, I don't know, native.

00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:04.360
Slow down, wait, wait, wait. Slow down, native

00:15:04.360 --> 00:15:07.960
people. Like some kind of fucking. Person, you

00:15:07.960 --> 00:15:10.659
said people. He glues people or something. He

00:15:10.659 --> 00:15:13.000
glues, like, Inuits, Eskimos? Yeah, something

00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:17.039
like that. Really? Dude, did you even watch this?

00:15:17.039 --> 00:15:19.740
Dude, yeah. Why do you gotta know? Because it

00:15:19.740 --> 00:15:23.840
doesn't sound like it. I wanna know what kind

00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:26.419
of people. What do you mean with the details?

00:15:26.940 --> 00:15:28.940
You don't need to know, man. You don't need to

00:15:28.940 --> 00:15:33.159
know that. So you just make up a story. So anyways,

00:15:33.840 --> 00:15:36.580
we got treats for like two cans of beans. for

00:15:36.580 --> 00:15:39.820
this little baby bear. Two cans of beans. Yeah,

00:15:40.159 --> 00:15:42.899
beans. These people are fucking like peasants,

00:15:43.019 --> 00:15:45.100
you know what I mean? They're like Russian fucking

00:15:45.100 --> 00:15:47.460
peasants, like Eskimos. They live out nowhere,

00:15:47.820 --> 00:15:49.840
in the middle of fucking nowhere in the Toad.

00:15:49.940 --> 00:15:53.120
Right. So these pollocks, get this little bear.

00:15:53.769 --> 00:15:56.389
I thought they were Russians. No, they were in

00:15:56.389 --> 00:15:58.490
Russia where they got the bear. Polak Russians,

00:15:59.129 --> 00:16:02.090
the worst kind. Anyways, they were Polish on

00:16:02.090 --> 00:16:03.850
me. It's like Polish Nazis. It was the Polish

00:16:03.850 --> 00:16:05.870
fucking army. Stay away from the Polish Nazis.

00:16:06.149 --> 00:16:09.250
Anyways, so now they have this bear. And the

00:16:09.250 --> 00:16:12.190
bullsh - They feed the bear, they, you know...

00:16:12.009 --> 00:16:16.649
grows up and shit. He's eventually drinking vodka

00:16:16.649 --> 00:16:18.190
and smokes and everything else. What do you mean,

00:16:18.190 --> 00:16:20.450
eventually? He had to be trained to do that.

00:16:21.029 --> 00:16:23.730
A bear just doesn't start smoking and drinking.

00:16:24.090 --> 00:16:28.889
You see how he's so retarded at telling stories.

00:16:29.090 --> 00:16:31.590
He's like, yeah, the bear just starts smoking

00:16:31.590 --> 00:16:33.750
and drinking. It's a long time ago. That doesn't

00:16:33.750 --> 00:16:36.250
mean anything. If it's the Polish army. Someone

00:16:36.250 --> 00:16:38.429
had to be like, hey, I'm going to smoke around

00:16:38.429 --> 00:16:41.090
here. Hey, that looks cool. You just don't stop

00:16:41.090 --> 00:16:45.429
bear. So anyway, this bear started going all

00:16:45.429 --> 00:16:47.450
around with them, and then, you know, to different

00:16:47.450 --> 00:16:50.269
wars, and then he sniffed out a spy. They were

00:16:50.269 --> 00:16:52.769
in this camp that they took over. So, wait a

00:16:52.769 --> 00:16:54.789
second. Because they have this great smell. Slow

00:16:54.789 --> 00:16:57.929
down. Right. How many wars? The thing was in

00:16:57.929 --> 00:17:00.830
about, he was in about five different... Don't

00:17:00.830 --> 00:17:03.309
believe him at all. He was in about five different

00:17:03.309 --> 00:17:07.170
countries. So, two. No, no, it was a lie. It

00:17:07.170 --> 00:17:12.089
was a lie. Army bear. Army bear. Then... They

00:17:12.089 --> 00:17:14.549
want to go to Italy, but they tell them you can't

00:17:14.549 --> 00:17:16.869
bring this bear on this ship. Yeah, because you

00:17:16.869 --> 00:17:20.009
can't bring a fucking bear to go invade sauce

00:17:20.009 --> 00:17:22.690
monkeys. The Moors are there. So the commander

00:17:22.690 --> 00:17:28.910
of the thing makes the bear a private and then

00:17:28.910 --> 00:17:32.789
gives him a pay book and he's now in the army.

00:17:32.789 --> 00:17:35.450
Are you still high on mushrooms? No, and then

00:17:35.450 --> 00:17:38.029
they bring him to Italy. Sounds like it. He fights

00:17:38.029 --> 00:17:41.579
with them there. He carries bombs. back and forth.

00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:44.880
Dude, I mean, this is literally the most absurd

00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:47.180
thing I know. No, listen, I know you sent it

00:17:47.180 --> 00:17:50.339
to me, but OK, so big deal. You think it's real?

00:17:50.720 --> 00:17:54.079
Did you cross check it? Yes. So then I looked

00:17:54.079 --> 00:17:57.319
online because they had these cool... I love

00:17:57.319 --> 00:18:21.220
how you're a little squishy. So they had this

00:18:21.220 --> 00:18:26.460
patch on their, uh, they had this patch on their

00:18:26.460 --> 00:18:29.630
army. You're a proud bear. Slaves. With the bear

00:18:29.630 --> 00:18:31.630
holding a bomb. He's, like, standing on one.

00:18:31.630 --> 00:18:34.390
Okay, holding and loading armory is two different

00:18:34.390 --> 00:18:36.589
things. No, he's not loading, but this is...

00:18:36.589 --> 00:18:39.210
So then I looked at... If that guy gets hurt,

00:18:39.349 --> 00:18:41.819
the bear could load it if he had to. I don't

00:18:41.819 --> 00:18:45.119
know about that. Thank you, Jesus, for finally

00:18:45.119 --> 00:18:48.180
having some realization in life. You're like,

00:18:48.259 --> 00:18:51.099
yeah, the Bearland, the dude's driving a Jeep

00:18:51.099 --> 00:18:53.859
across Europe, he's going to Belarus and Belgium.

00:18:53.880 --> 00:18:56.000
No, listen, they showed him. They showed him

00:18:56.000 --> 00:19:00.279
in Gelsenfors. Yeah, he's like, fucking Smeltafors.

00:19:01.559 --> 00:19:03.960
So I looked it up and I'm like, shit, I want

00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:06.599
to get that patch. You know, I want to put that

00:19:06.599 --> 00:19:10.440
on an army jacket. The bear? Yeah, man, the Polish.

00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:20.279
I'm right next to your swastika. And when I went

00:19:20.279 --> 00:19:23.420
to look it up. I will say that Larry does have

00:19:23.420 --> 00:19:28.339
a good field officer's jacket. So when I went

00:19:28.339 --> 00:19:33.500
to look it up. Two desk calls. There is OG patches.

00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:37.680
There is a shit ton of stuff about boy tech.

00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:42.609
There's books. Who's Wojtek? The bear. And it's

00:19:42.609 --> 00:19:45.289
spelled W -O -K -T -E -K. Wojtek is like a fucking

00:19:45.289 --> 00:19:48.470
company name in some movie or something. That

00:19:48.470 --> 00:19:51.509
might be real. It's a Polish name, man. It's

00:19:51.509 --> 00:19:53.309
like a real old school Polish name. All right,

00:19:53.430 --> 00:19:56.190
so this bear sounds very fictitious. I mean,

00:19:56.509 --> 00:19:59.069
you're just wasting my time. No, it's fucking

00:19:59.069 --> 00:20:04.089
real, man. It is real? Yeah, exactly. He's real.

00:20:04.329 --> 00:20:07.599
He was real. He was a great bear. How do you

00:20:07.599 --> 00:20:10.160
know? Did you live with him? They loved him.

00:20:10.259 --> 00:20:11.880
He was really cool. How do you know this? He

00:20:11.880 --> 00:20:14.480
might have been a real mean ass nigga. No, he

00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:17.500
was nice. He didn't attack or hurt anybody ever.

00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:19.740
They raised him up like this. How'd he die? Right.

00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:22.380
He just died of natural causes. There are statues

00:20:22.380 --> 00:20:25.299
of him all over Europe and shit. We should get

00:20:25.299 --> 00:20:26.900
one for the house in front of the front yard.

00:20:26.900 --> 00:20:29.140
Dude, they're fucking amazing. They look fucking

00:20:29.140 --> 00:20:32.079
huge. They were cool. They were cool. He was

00:20:32.079 --> 00:20:36.039
huge, man. In size and stature and... Yeah, I

00:20:36.039 --> 00:20:39.539
think he weighed 550 pounds. Was his weight.

00:20:39.640 --> 00:20:42.119
Yeah, fucking bears are big, dude. How about

00:20:42.119 --> 00:20:45.349
diving already? I saw it diving horses. I really

00:20:45.349 --> 00:20:48.470
do not believe the whole of the story. He actually,

00:20:48.730 --> 00:20:50.750
well, you know, it was the guy, it was like a

00:20:50.750 --> 00:20:54.849
fucking colonel or some higher up who is bad,

00:20:55.170 --> 00:20:56.250
so he was allowed to do that. I understand, but

00:20:56.250 --> 00:20:59.769
I'm not saying, the validity of the story does

00:20:59.769 --> 00:21:05.009
not appease my tickle. Okay, well. I think it's

00:21:05.009 --> 00:21:08.200
very fictitious in some sort of nature. Nah,

00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:09.519
I'm looking into it further. What do you mean,

00:21:09.539 --> 00:21:11.680
nah? I mean, you're squeezing your love doll

00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:16.299
over there. It's not fictitious. If I saw...

00:21:16.299 --> 00:21:19.940
Okay, you gonna finish that sentence or no? I'm

00:21:19.940 --> 00:21:22.380
like Charlie Sheen. No, he's not. He's like a

00:21:22.380 --> 00:21:26.940
homeless lady, dude. Look at him. He just nodded

00:21:26.940 --> 00:21:30.140
out in the middle of the freaking... His monologue.

00:21:30.380 --> 00:21:33.579
I saw a diving horse. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, where?

00:21:34.059 --> 00:21:38.700
At Chicago Tastes of Chicago. When? 1922? A couple

00:21:38.700 --> 00:21:42.119
years ago, like 10 years ago. A year and longer.

00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:50.740
It was. It was a diving horse. Yeah, I heard

00:21:50.740 --> 00:21:57.279
you the fourth time. I mean, yeah. Yeah. He dove

00:21:57.279 --> 00:21:59.420
into a tank. What is this, in India or something?

00:22:00.460 --> 00:22:03.859
He dove into a tank. It was a diving team. That's

00:22:03.859 --> 00:22:06.730
the only way it's legal. It was a diving team?

00:22:06.910 --> 00:22:09.109
It was a team of divers, yeah. Oh, not a horse.

00:22:09.349 --> 00:22:11.390
No, diving horses are illegal now. What the fuck?

00:22:11.630 --> 00:22:13.569
Why are you trying to trick us with your Jew

00:22:13.569 --> 00:22:16.109
trickery? It was a Jew trickery. Did you see

00:22:16.109 --> 00:22:17.789
that? They used to have diving horses, but...

00:22:17.789 --> 00:22:20.730
He's like a Jew bag lady. He said that you saw

00:22:20.730 --> 00:22:24.630
a diving horse. He said, I know. It took me a

00:22:24.630 --> 00:22:26.630
while to rationalize. I thought everybody was

00:22:26.630 --> 00:22:27.890
watching a real horse dive. No, you just made

00:22:27.890 --> 00:22:30.089
it up in your head, and then you just set it

00:22:30.089 --> 00:22:32.950
up. It was in a costume. It was in a horse costume.

00:22:33.200 --> 00:22:36.680
Who the fuck was in a horse costume? How the

00:22:36.680 --> 00:22:39.240
fuck did they climb up the ladder in a horse

00:22:39.240 --> 00:22:41.220
costume? No, they didn't because they'd have

00:22:41.220 --> 00:22:45.900
to be split in half. Somebody's got to be the

00:22:45.900 --> 00:22:47.859
back legs and somebody's got to be the rock.

00:22:47.859 --> 00:22:50.220
Maybe they had a ramp up to the fucking thing.

00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:51.980
I'm not sure how they did it, but they did it.

00:22:52.579 --> 00:22:58.869
Look at that, it was a real horse then. I mean,

00:22:58.869 --> 00:23:00.930
you just keep lying, bro. That's the problem.

00:23:01.829 --> 00:23:05.430
I know, but you just said you saw a diving horse.

00:23:05.670 --> 00:23:07.710
And then we asked you where, and you said the

00:23:07.710 --> 00:23:10.769
Taste of Chicago. And then you said, no, I didn't.

00:23:10.849 --> 00:23:13.109
And then you said the horse was split in half

00:23:13.109 --> 00:23:15.990
with two humans. And then I asked you how they

00:23:15.990 --> 00:23:18.130
climbed up. He didn't say that. He didn't say

00:23:18.130 --> 00:23:19.809
the horse was split in half. Yes, he said maybe

00:23:19.809 --> 00:23:22.910
they were split in half. No, you said they were

00:23:22.910 --> 00:23:24.609
split in half. You said that. They had their

00:23:24.609 --> 00:23:27.130
costume on regardless. They wouldn't be split

00:23:27.130 --> 00:23:30.049
in half. They had their costume on. How can you

00:23:30.049 --> 00:23:32.990
be a fucking horse without two humans? That's

00:23:32.990 --> 00:23:35.930
their costume. One's got to be the back. One's

00:23:35.930 --> 00:23:38.789
got to be the white ass clown. So then piss off.

00:23:39.829 --> 00:23:43.490
And you totally ruined my tirade. Fuck you. Oh,

00:23:43.630 --> 00:23:46.400
fuck off. And so then they jumped off this thing,

00:23:46.640 --> 00:23:49.200
holding onto each other together in this costume.

00:23:49.500 --> 00:23:52.259
I guess so. What do you mean you guess so? Because

00:23:52.259 --> 00:23:54.380
it landed in a very shallow pool. You know, like

00:23:54.380 --> 00:23:57.500
you got to dive right in. No, not in force. Very

00:23:57.500 --> 00:24:00.140
shallow pool. How the hell could they, like a

00:24:00.140 --> 00:24:02.660
backyard swimming pool? It's like an agent of

00:24:02.660 --> 00:24:05.579
death. It was a very shallow pool. It was like

00:24:05.579 --> 00:24:07.799
a backyard swimming pool. Yeah, what are you

00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:10.880
talking about, man? Did they survive? Yeah, they

00:24:10.880 --> 00:24:13.390
were diving from a big high platform. Where the

00:24:13.390 --> 00:24:15.769
fuck up there? I understand that, but did they

00:24:15.769 --> 00:24:20.069
survive? Yes, they survived. Did they survive?

00:24:20.210 --> 00:24:23.950
Yes, they survived. Touring and diving team played

00:24:23.950 --> 00:24:25.549
festivals throughout the country. Yeah, that

00:24:25.549 --> 00:24:27.809
was their shtick. They dove off the thing dressed

00:24:27.809 --> 00:24:30.329
as a horse. I thought the outcome was different.

00:24:30.450 --> 00:24:32.490
I thought they were going to die in this scenario.

00:24:33.170 --> 00:24:34.430
My apologies. These Romanian's had a little two

00:24:34.430 --> 00:24:36.970
-year -old baby on a fucking... Whoa, two -year

00:24:36.970 --> 00:24:38.490
-old baby. Going over the fucking high wire.

00:24:38.609 --> 00:24:41.730
He's two years old. What? How bad is it there?

00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:44.880
Where? A two year old? Yes, he was a two year

00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:47.039
old. I mean, you know what, I don't trust your

00:24:47.039 --> 00:24:49.180
judgment on anything. You said it was a two year

00:24:49.180 --> 00:24:52.140
old son. I really don't. A two year old on a

00:24:52.140 --> 00:24:54.740
high wire? Yep, on a high wire. I tried it on

00:24:54.740 --> 00:24:58.180
a bicycle. On a bicycle? Yeah. Two years old?

00:24:58.240 --> 00:25:02.500
Two years old. Was he black? No, Romanian. How

00:25:02.500 --> 00:25:07.400
do you know? How do you even know this? I think

00:25:07.400 --> 00:25:09.819
you were hanging out with Erica Kirk. The one

00:25:09.819 --> 00:25:12.660
people. The angels. The one people with the -

00:25:12.660 --> 00:25:16.319
What was it? The Romanian angels? Yeah, yeah.

00:25:16.440 --> 00:25:18.779
Are you part of the Romanian angels? There were

00:25:18.779 --> 00:25:20.519
some crazy - I don't know what country they were

00:25:20.519 --> 00:25:22.119
from. If you pronounce it, it was some crazy

00:25:22.119 --> 00:25:24.220
- Where the hell were you? These guys were nuts

00:25:24.220 --> 00:25:27.369
too. And it tastes of Chicago. And that was their

00:25:27.369 --> 00:25:29.589
schick. It was this ball of death, whatever it's

00:25:29.589 --> 00:25:33.029
called. I thought he was just nodding out. Yeah,

00:25:34.529 --> 00:25:36.430
they do that at the... I haven't seen that shit.

00:25:38.190 --> 00:25:40.390
You want to see what the Indians do. They do

00:25:40.390 --> 00:25:45.609
a half ball of death. That's all right, though.

00:25:45.609 --> 00:25:48.730
What are you going to do? Those fucking people

00:25:48.730 --> 00:25:54.599
are gypsies. Nah, they're fucking... Bro. They're

00:25:54.599 --> 00:25:57.319
fucking gypsies. They live in caravans. You can't

00:25:57.319 --> 00:25:59.859
trust them for fucking... I would rather trust

00:25:59.859 --> 00:26:03.369
a pile of shit than a gypsy. You used to work

00:26:03.369 --> 00:26:05.670
for gypsies. I mean you don't have anything.

00:26:05.710 --> 00:26:08.170
You can't come back. You can't have any fun I

00:26:08.170 --> 00:26:12.069
got retardo one and retardo to here the I told

00:26:12.069 --> 00:26:14.529
you Susie smoke that weed you shut down Hell

00:26:14.529 --> 00:26:17.430
no, I ain't shutting down the other one. That's

00:26:17.430 --> 00:26:25.190
it Even better see what I mean Tweedledee and

00:26:25.190 --> 00:26:29.670
Tweedledum over here Yeah, okay And let me think

00:26:29.670 --> 00:26:35.750
about what I'm gonna say over here Mary, have

00:26:35.750 --> 00:26:39.150
you ever checked out the legal age of tender

00:26:39.150 --> 00:26:42.410
in the United States for women? No, it was carnival

00:26:42.410 --> 00:27:01.849
things. I apologize, but... How much fentanyl

00:27:01.849 --> 00:27:04.930
is in Venezuela and forth? Not as much as there

00:27:04.930 --> 00:27:11.049
is here, apparently. The way they're bombing

00:27:11.049 --> 00:27:15.289
the ship, man. Bombing where? All the drug boats.

00:27:15.769 --> 00:27:18.089
They're not drug boats, they're fishing boats,

00:27:18.170 --> 00:27:21.309
dude. They're fishing boats with four 650 -horsepower

00:27:21.309 --> 00:27:23.170
engines on the back. Okay, where are they going

00:27:23.170 --> 00:27:25.210
to, though? Where are they fishing for? Where

00:27:25.210 --> 00:27:29.859
are they going to? Wait a second. Don Anforth,

00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:32.500
where are they going to? Do you know how much

00:27:32.500 --> 00:27:35.180
fuel... Do you know how much fuel those motors

00:27:35.180 --> 00:27:41.119
hold? This much. This much. Not that much. They're

00:27:41.119 --> 00:27:45.960
not going to fucking Miami. It's a ploy. No,

00:27:45.960 --> 00:27:55.299
no. It's a fucking Psy -Op. Larry? No, they're

00:27:55.299 --> 00:27:58.039
not at all. Oh my God, guess what comes from

00:27:58.039 --> 00:28:03.180
Venezuela? Nose candy. Oh, come on, really? That's

00:28:03.180 --> 00:28:05.000
our biggest problem. How many people die from

00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:07.740
nose candy every day? How many people die from

00:28:07.740 --> 00:28:15.039
feni? 300 a day. It's insanity. It's all about

00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:18.900
the Jews. It really is. The Jews are going to

00:28:18.900 --> 00:28:21.180
put someone in power of Venezuela because they

00:28:21.180 --> 00:28:24.000
have a central bank, and it's not controlled

00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:28.019
by anybody. But that's all right, though. I don't

00:28:28.019 --> 00:28:30.519
know anything. I'm freaking retarded. I really

00:28:30.519 --> 00:28:32.700
am. Well, this thing in Iran scares me because

00:28:32.700 --> 00:28:34.920
these people are uprising it now. It's said that

00:28:34.920 --> 00:28:37.759
if they shoot at their people, who else is going

00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:41.420
to get involved? Who's that? If the Iranian government

00:28:41.420 --> 00:28:43.740
shoots at their own protesters, they're not going

00:28:43.740 --> 00:28:46.539
to get involved. OK. We don't want to get in

00:28:46.539 --> 00:28:49.259
a war with Iran, dude. Well, first of all...

00:28:49.259 --> 00:28:52.819
Guys, we don't. What do we have against Iran?

00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:55.400
Nothing. What does Israel have against Iran?

00:28:55.559 --> 00:28:58.519
Well, we've bombed them already once this year

00:28:58.519 --> 00:29:01.259
for Israel. And you want to know why? Right.

00:29:02.259 --> 00:29:06.720
Because they're nukes. The Lukud party... Listen,

00:29:06.839 --> 00:29:08.720
I'm going to start talking about the Jews. The

00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:11.960
Lukud party fucking tries to scare us while they

00:29:11.960 --> 00:29:17.920
have all these nukes. No, respect. What's that?

00:29:17.920 --> 00:29:20.599
These Jews don't belong there at all. Who doesn't?

00:29:20.900 --> 00:29:23.960
The Jews in Israel. Well, I mean, they're not

00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:27.559
even, they've never been there. They're not indigenous

00:29:27.559 --> 00:29:33.200
to that area. But, like I said. How do you know

00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:35.339
where they're indigenous from? The religion they

00:29:35.339 --> 00:29:38.099
worship is satanic. Well, I mean, if you, how

00:29:38.099 --> 00:29:41.630
come? 23andMe is banned in Israel because when

00:29:41.630 --> 00:29:44.849
they find out their DNA isn't localized in their

00:29:44.849 --> 00:29:49.609
vicinity, people aren't going to be happy. You

00:29:49.609 --> 00:29:51.329
know what I mean? Let's just keep with the six

00:29:51.329 --> 00:29:54.089
million bit for a little while and shame everybody

00:29:54.089 --> 00:29:57.069
into giving us billions of dollars. How much

00:29:57.069 --> 00:30:01.140
money does Germany give Israel? for reparations

00:30:01.140 --> 00:30:03.759
for the Holocaust. We talked about this. How

00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:06.319
about the United States? How about Canada? How

00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:09.240
come there's a Holocaust museum in almost every

00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:14.599
big city? Is there one in Chicago? Yeah. There's

00:30:14.599 --> 00:30:18.099
probably three. Wow. And you know what? They

00:30:18.099 --> 00:30:20.579
probably out -Jew each other. Yeah. You know

00:30:20.579 --> 00:30:25.359
what I mean? It's like a Jew going to the synagogue

00:30:25.359 --> 00:30:28.769
and being like the rabbi. told me what I didn't

00:30:28.769 --> 00:30:30.990
want to hear. How do I get my donation back?

00:30:33.750 --> 00:30:38.690
You know what I mean? I gotta go to another synagogue.

00:30:39.990 --> 00:30:42.430
Thank God I can throw a shackle and find another

00:30:42.430 --> 00:30:49.170
one. It's like smurfing. But that's just like

00:30:49.170 --> 00:30:51.089
anything. You're gonna look out to find anybody

00:30:51.089 --> 00:30:53.309
that tells you whatever you want to do is a good

00:30:53.309 --> 00:30:57.039
thing to do. Right? I don't do that. No, I'm

00:30:57.039 --> 00:30:59.980
just saying. You need a preacher. If you're gonna

00:30:59.980 --> 00:31:04.160
do, but if you're gonna, you know... Do you think

00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:06.859
this is a good idea? No. Do you think this is

00:31:06.859 --> 00:31:11.799
a good idea? No. Right, right. But... The thing

00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:15.660
is, if we're provoked into a war with Iran...

00:31:15.660 --> 00:31:16.640
That's not gonna happen. ...there could be big

00:31:16.640 --> 00:31:22.420
problems. You're really worried about Iran. We

00:31:22.420 --> 00:31:25.119
just arrested the fucking leader of Venezuela.

00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:28.259
Well, I don't know about arrested. They kind

00:31:28.259 --> 00:31:32.119
of kidnapped him. He went into a country that

00:31:32.119 --> 00:31:33.480
you should... First of all, I'm going to tell

00:31:33.480 --> 00:31:36.940
you right now, it's all fake and gay. It's so

00:31:36.940 --> 00:31:39.119
fake and gay. Me and Mary were saying it's probably

00:31:39.119 --> 00:31:40.460
already been done. What happened with George

00:31:40.460 --> 00:31:43.680
Bush going into fucking Afghanistan after 9 -11?

00:31:43.880 --> 00:31:46.880
How many American citizens do we lose? And all

00:31:46.880 --> 00:31:48.839
of a sudden this fucking faggot can just go in

00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:52.480
there and just kidnap... Fuck get out of here.

00:31:52.500 --> 00:31:55.240
The guy wanted to be out of there. This is real

00:31:55.240 --> 00:31:57.819
Oh, they probably gave him 50 million bucks and

00:31:57.819 --> 00:32:00.200
we're never gonna hear about him again They're

00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:03.880
gonna send some super max like El Chapo get the

00:32:03.880 --> 00:32:07.779
fuck out of here fucking government. It is the

00:32:07.779 --> 00:32:11.460
Everything it's a fucking video game man. You

00:32:11.460 --> 00:32:13.940
want to you know, why? You get a, okay, so you

00:32:13.940 --> 00:32:17.119
play these video games and you get like a country

00:32:17.119 --> 00:32:20.279
and it's like they're in such despair that they

00:32:20.279 --> 00:32:24.240
need this NPC to take care of it. It's like The

00:32:24.240 --> 00:32:28.740
Sims. And then you build this, I beef, steal

00:32:28.740 --> 00:32:32.359
all these fucking, all this shit. And you build

00:32:32.359 --> 00:32:35.160
it up and you feel so good about building a country

00:32:35.160 --> 00:32:39.269
up. And then now they do it in real time. And

00:32:39.269 --> 00:32:43.390
in 2024, the Rothschilds went into fucking, what

00:32:43.390 --> 00:32:48.049
do you call it, Venezuela. And they, in 1999,

00:32:48.170 --> 00:32:50.230
I think it was even, that they went in there

00:32:50.230 --> 00:32:53.349
because... You all right, dude? You have fun.

00:32:55.390 --> 00:32:58.369
What do you call it? They couldn't manage their

00:32:58.369 --> 00:33:00.789
country. They had to get their finances in order.

00:33:00.869 --> 00:33:02.950
Who the fuck, isn't that the craziest thing you

00:33:02.950 --> 00:33:06.589
ever heard of? You have to bring an outsourcing

00:33:06.589 --> 00:33:09.799
there. We had to bring an outside source in to

00:33:09.799 --> 00:33:12.660
manage your country. This is the most asinine

00:33:12.660 --> 00:33:17.980
thing. Yeah, I know, it's ridiculous. Well, it's

00:33:17.980 --> 00:33:20.180
not like we can keep ours straight. Well, then

00:33:20.180 --> 00:33:23.039
you look at fucking Mexico with Shekelbaum. 37

00:33:23.039 --> 00:33:26.740
candidates got murdered before she came to power.

00:33:27.500 --> 00:33:31.660
37 candidates. I saw a thing on Venezuela not

00:33:31.660 --> 00:33:33.759
too long ago. They were just walking downtown

00:33:33.759 --> 00:33:36.400
through the streets. It was beautiful. and quiet.

00:33:36.579 --> 00:33:38.640
Everyone was nice and friendly. There wasn't

00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:40.940
even a car. Yeah, because they started that CEOT

00:33:40.940 --> 00:33:43.740
thing. The Venezuelan prison. There was no bad

00:33:43.740 --> 00:33:46.099
at all or all that at all in Venezuela. Isn't

00:33:46.099 --> 00:33:48.660
that Tren de Aguara? Yeah, that's where I'm from.

00:33:48.779 --> 00:33:51.599
And they started that big CEOT or something like

00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:54.180
that. That guy's over here. Right. That huge

00:33:54.180 --> 00:33:57.400
prison. I'm going to tell you, man. Listen, everything

00:33:57.400 --> 00:34:01.160
that we know about the whole world is just falsified,

00:34:01.460 --> 00:34:03.920
faked. The huge prison's great, right? Huh? Yeah.

00:34:04.440 --> 00:34:06.710
Well, they built... They built those prisons,

00:34:07.009 --> 00:34:11.250
man. You like it? It looks good. I like the way

00:34:11.250 --> 00:34:13.710
they fucking brought him in there, don't you?

00:34:13.730 --> 00:34:16.130
They all get no shirts and white boxers. You

00:34:16.130 --> 00:34:18.170
like that, right? You saw him, like, when they

00:34:18.170 --> 00:34:20.570
bend him over and people... Oh, those are El

00:34:20.570 --> 00:34:23.110
Salvador prisons. You got to walk and bend over.

00:34:23.489 --> 00:34:26.590
He's right in El Salvador, yep. That's why we

00:34:26.590 --> 00:34:30.010
keep him around. Yeah, you're right. I thought

00:34:30.010 --> 00:34:32.650
it was Venezuela, you're right. I also did think

00:34:32.650 --> 00:34:35.289
it was Venezuela. But El Salvador, here we go.

00:34:36.610 --> 00:34:39.610
You earn your keep tonight Don Hanford. Yeah,

00:34:39.610 --> 00:34:42.710
but they still got their share of gangs and fucking

00:34:42.710 --> 00:34:44.849
cartels and all that shit. Well, the thing is,

00:34:45.010 --> 00:34:48.190
is that, okay, from what I was reading, and listen,

00:34:49.409 --> 00:34:51.349
I don't know nothing, you know what I mean, just

00:34:51.349 --> 00:34:54.170
what I read. He banned like, Ursury and pornography

00:34:54.170 --> 00:34:57.119
and all this other bullshit. in this country.

00:34:57.659 --> 00:35:00.659
They had a centralized bank, or the citizens

00:35:00.659 --> 00:35:04.199
controlled it. And I don't know anything about

00:35:04.199 --> 00:35:07.360
this country. I am not an expert, nothing at

00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:09.400
all. This is just what I read. And you know what?

00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:13.760
They, you know who wants to control the world?

00:35:14.119 --> 00:35:21.000
The Jews. They do. And you wanna know how? Because

00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:23.639
what do they do? They plant these people in and

00:35:23.639 --> 00:35:26.300
they want, dude. We are a controlled country.

00:35:26.500 --> 00:35:29.619
We are fucking controlled by the enemy. Thanks.

00:35:30.019 --> 00:35:33.440
Dual citizenship running our government. It's

00:35:33.440 --> 00:35:37.539
not acceptable. It's like 435 and then 100 million.

00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:40.699
Would any other country in the world let you

00:35:40.699 --> 00:35:42.719
have a dual citizenship and become part of it?

00:35:42.739 --> 00:35:45.960
Russia, China, fucking... I mean, imagine that.

00:35:45.980 --> 00:35:48.739
Anywhere. How could we do that? No, let's just

00:35:48.739 --> 00:35:51.380
say the big superpowers. Russia and China, because

00:35:51.380 --> 00:35:53.480
they're all infiltrated, the rest of them. But

00:35:53.480 --> 00:35:55.639
they still wouldn't have you let someone in.

00:35:55.639 --> 00:35:57.539
And then you want to think they're Freemasons.

00:35:58.820 --> 00:36:00.699
And then you want to think that there's also,

00:36:00.699 --> 00:36:03.179
beyond that, there's so much more. Yeah, but

00:36:03.179 --> 00:36:05.440
the only time, like, a Russian would have you

00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:07.619
is if you were a dual citizen, as if you were

00:36:07.619 --> 00:36:10.900
a spy. You know what I mean? You'd have to be

00:36:10.900 --> 00:36:13.679
working for them. And then they're going to kill

00:36:13.679 --> 00:36:16.159
you at the end, anyway. It's ripped off billions

00:36:16.159 --> 00:36:19.119
and billions and... billions of dollars is known

00:36:19.119 --> 00:36:25.750
fried. Who has? in Minnesota. How about this?

00:36:25.849 --> 00:36:29.530
You want to go back? Let's start with... Who?

00:36:30.530 --> 00:36:34.670
Waltz? Yeah. Yeah, Tim Waltz. Come on, man. Well,

00:36:34.670 --> 00:36:36.409
I know, but you're thinking about the... He's

00:36:36.409 --> 00:36:37.929
still there. He's still there. He's not under

00:36:37.929 --> 00:36:39.650
arrest or taken down out of his office. Well,

00:36:39.690 --> 00:36:41.769
then there you go. Now you just realize how the

00:36:41.769 --> 00:36:44.170
world works. Isn't that crazy? How could he not

00:36:44.170 --> 00:36:45.989
be in jail? Why does he not fucking stop? Doesn't

00:36:45.989 --> 00:36:48.590
that fucking not make sense? You know, if I went

00:36:48.590 --> 00:36:50.289
to the neighbor's house and punched him in the

00:36:50.289 --> 00:36:53.139
face, It hasn't stopped. I'd get arrested. If

00:36:53.139 --> 00:36:54.639
I went to the neighbor's house and stole their

00:36:54.639 --> 00:36:57.579
checks, I'd get arrested. But you know what?

00:36:58.119 --> 00:37:01.280
This is the thing, Donnie. They want us all to

00:37:01.280 --> 00:37:04.860
believe we live in a safe, soft spot. And we

00:37:04.860 --> 00:37:09.840
don't. We are controlled by demigods. We are

00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:12.460
controlled by Baphomet. We are controlled by

00:37:12.460 --> 00:37:17.219
the Star of Remfram. I'm not. You're not what

00:37:17.219 --> 00:37:20.480
you still are. You have parameters in your life

00:37:20.480 --> 00:37:23.619
that are controlled by you. You pay taxes. You

00:37:23.619 --> 00:37:27.480
do all this other shit. And guess what you also

00:37:27.480 --> 00:37:30.940
do? Your taxpayer dollars go to kill children

00:37:30.940 --> 00:37:35.820
in Palestine and other countries. And you're

00:37:35.820 --> 00:37:38.559
unwilling. You're an unwilling participant, which

00:37:38.559 --> 00:37:41.539
strays you away from God. It does. It really

00:37:41.539 --> 00:37:45.349
does. And they do that on purpose. I mean, everyone's

00:37:45.349 --> 00:37:48.309
like, oh, we got, we need a congressional war,

00:37:48.389 --> 00:37:51.050
you know, a signage of war. Which hasn't been

00:37:51.050 --> 00:37:53.369
done since the Korean War, I think, was the last

00:37:53.369 --> 00:37:56.190
one. I can't believe you're making sense like

00:37:56.190 --> 00:37:59.369
this. Well, why would you interrupt me while

00:37:59.369 --> 00:38:01.889
I'm making sense, then? You just can't help yourself.

00:38:02.210 --> 00:38:03.769
You just totally did. I waited until you stopped

00:38:03.769 --> 00:38:07.130
talking. I was on a rant, and then... Yeah. I

00:38:07.130 --> 00:38:09.010
waited until you stopped talking. And why do

00:38:09.010 --> 00:38:11.090
you have that over on your face like that, ass

00:38:11.090 --> 00:38:13.190
clown? I'm trying a different micing technique.

00:38:13.630 --> 00:38:16.329
just so you can have it by your mouth. Was it

00:38:16.329 --> 00:38:20.510
too close, you think? Hello, check. Okay, why

00:38:20.510 --> 00:38:22.210
are you doing that in the middle of the show?

00:38:22.530 --> 00:38:26.530
You do that at the beginning, you idiot. That's

00:38:26.530 --> 00:38:31.309
how I roll, motherfucker. So do you think that...

00:38:31.309 --> 00:38:33.610
Okay, I was telling Mary this today, Donnie,

00:38:33.710 --> 00:38:37.210
and for that... You live in the west side and

00:38:37.210 --> 00:38:39.610
shit like that. Remember when you would drive

00:38:39.610 --> 00:38:42.329
by and you see those daycares? And there'd be

00:38:42.329 --> 00:38:45.769
one right next to a liquor store. It was a storefront.

00:38:46.110 --> 00:38:49.349
This shit's been going on for 25 fucking years.

00:38:49.570 --> 00:38:53.269
We knew a Somali lady here in the park who always

00:38:53.269 --> 00:38:55.269
had that damn phone up tucked underneath her.

00:38:55.469 --> 00:38:59.289
Her phone, okay. Larry Ashtray, not the garbage

00:38:59.289 --> 00:39:03.610
man. She could tell she was... Running a daycare?

00:39:06.799 --> 00:39:11.079
And? And? Dude, see, these guys don't have fun.

00:39:11.340 --> 00:39:13.480
Larry, remember the Puerto Rican lady where she

00:39:13.480 --> 00:39:16.340
used to buy me an EBT card and she would feed

00:39:16.340 --> 00:39:19.769
us? These guys don't know how to have fun. You

00:39:19.769 --> 00:39:22.949
know what I mean? Like, oh, Somali lady, that's

00:39:22.949 --> 00:39:24.449
all I need. No, no. You know what you do? She

00:39:24.449 --> 00:39:28.190
was kind of loud and just rude. I didn't want

00:39:28.190 --> 00:39:30.070
to do anything else with her. Yeah, because she's

00:39:30.070 --> 00:39:33.070
like a real... Dude, she's a West African nigga.

00:39:33.269 --> 00:39:35.110
Wherever she was. Like, they don't fuck around.

00:39:35.610 --> 00:39:39.349
Yeah, she's a West African nigga. Somalis on

00:39:39.349 --> 00:39:42.449
the West Coast at the top. West Coast? West Side?

00:39:42.849 --> 00:39:45.489
Somalis. They're nice, though, aren't they? They're

00:39:45.489 --> 00:39:47.570
hot -looking chicks. Why do they have such big

00:39:47.570 --> 00:39:50.510
heads and small brains, Anfort? I have no idea.

00:39:51.710 --> 00:39:54.110
I mean, what do you think their average IQ is,

00:39:54.190 --> 00:39:57.030
Don Anfort? How would I know? I'm asking you

00:39:57.030 --> 00:39:58.809
a freaking question. What do you think their

00:39:58.809 --> 00:40:01.329
average IQ is? I don't even know what an average

00:40:01.329 --> 00:40:06.210
IQ would be. Take a guess. I have six. Man, you

00:40:06.210 --> 00:40:08.869
really suck. Six. Their average IQ is six. No,

00:40:08.949 --> 00:40:14.130
it's not. Man. You're just the worst podcaster

00:40:14.130 --> 00:40:17.230
ever. If it was six, it would be like the goldfish.

00:40:17.570 --> 00:40:18.590
I mean, you can't make it normal. It'd be like

00:40:18.590 --> 00:40:22.110
Donnie Enforth. If it was six, just bumping his

00:40:22.110 --> 00:40:27.730
head into the wall. At this point in time, you

00:40:27.730 --> 00:40:30.130
hit your head on the floor anymore, Donnie. Oh,

00:40:30.369 --> 00:40:37.070
my God. For the can, to hold the lid up on my

00:40:37.070 --> 00:40:40.670
couch. Oh, yeah, yeah. You have a what? He'd

00:40:40.670 --> 00:40:42.989
put a soup can or something to hold up his couch.

00:40:43.130 --> 00:40:46.289
Get the fuck out of here. I mean, you're kidding

00:40:46.289 --> 00:40:48.889
me, all right? How'd that work out? It worked

00:40:48.889 --> 00:40:53.650
out fine until I spit it off my chair and sliced

00:40:53.650 --> 00:40:55.389
my head open on the chair. So now he said it

00:40:55.389 --> 00:40:57.469
was the couch and it was the chair. You see what

00:40:57.469 --> 00:41:00.570
I mean? No, that was another incident. The chair

00:41:00.570 --> 00:41:03.199
and the eye and the chin, that was a... That

00:41:03.199 --> 00:41:05.480
was another complete time that happened. So that

00:41:05.480 --> 00:41:07.780
doesn't make any sense what you just said. It

00:41:07.780 --> 00:41:09.639
didn't happen long before. Okay, so did you have

00:41:09.639 --> 00:41:12.039
a can of soup underneath your chair or your couch?

00:41:13.159 --> 00:41:16.400
Underneath the couch. Okay. I was sitting on

00:41:16.400 --> 00:41:21.260
my chair. Okay. I slid off the chair. Bam. So

00:41:21.260 --> 00:41:23.659
you slid off the chair and hit the can of soup

00:41:23.659 --> 00:41:25.679
underneath the couch. It wasn't under the couch

00:41:25.679 --> 00:41:27.719
good enough. Right, it wasn't all the way under.

00:41:29.159 --> 00:41:33.489
A leg is that big and a can is that big. Just

00:41:33.489 --> 00:41:35.389
enough to, I mean, you can almost still feel

00:41:35.389 --> 00:41:37.710
it. He's lying to us again. No, I'm not lying

00:41:37.710 --> 00:41:40.949
to you, dude. Not this time? Yeah. Not this time.

00:41:41.530 --> 00:41:43.110
I never should have lied about the first one.

00:41:43.130 --> 00:41:46.210
You did. You told us you got carjacked. I know.

00:41:46.929 --> 00:41:48.610
I should have stopped right there and said, what

00:41:48.610 --> 00:41:50.349
the fuck? Yeah, you should have just stopped

00:41:50.349 --> 00:41:53.230
lying. I just fucking collapsed into my fucking

00:41:53.230 --> 00:41:56.940
face. Dude, you made a completely fictitious

00:41:56.940 --> 00:41:59.239
story. You were in your house the whole time

00:41:59.239 --> 00:42:01.900
and you fell down. But then you made up this

00:42:01.900 --> 00:42:09.079
story how a guy carjacked you in 7 -Eleven. You

00:42:09.079 --> 00:42:12.860
were in your house the whole time. It's like

00:42:12.860 --> 00:42:20.599
law and order with you. He's like the junkie

00:42:20.599 --> 00:42:30.949
wolf, you know, dick wolf. Oh, he'd do two questions.

00:42:30.949 --> 00:42:34.690
He'd fucking fall under from one more question.

00:42:37.230 --> 00:42:41.489
He would completely fucking completely fold under

00:42:41.489 --> 00:42:44.050
question. He wouldn't know what's going on. Look

00:42:44.050 --> 00:42:48.369
at him. He's a mess. Look at this guy. He's guilty

00:42:48.369 --> 00:42:51.719
of something. Yeah. Let's take his fingerprints.

00:42:52.079 --> 00:42:54.440
They're gonna be on something bad. Take his fingerprints

00:42:54.440 --> 00:42:56.780
and run it with every case we got going. They're

00:42:56.780 --> 00:43:00.280
gonna be on something very bad. Some sort of

00:43:00.280 --> 00:43:02.760
weird porno tape. I'm bashing this up, don't

00:43:02.760 --> 00:43:08.300
worry. Crack pipes. Oh my God. You show me the

00:43:08.300 --> 00:43:10.679
man, I'll find a crime. That night we got busted

00:43:10.679 --> 00:43:13.820
at Rockwell Gardens. No. In the station, in the

00:43:13.820 --> 00:43:16.059
station there was two of those 50 gallon garbage

00:43:16.059 --> 00:43:18.800
cans, you know? Yeah. One full of lighters, one

00:43:18.800 --> 00:43:22.829
full of crack pipes. Nice. Big, giant, 40 -gallon

00:43:22.829 --> 00:43:26.309
trash tubs. Crazy. Full of them, man. Full of

00:43:26.309 --> 00:43:28.610
lighters. I love how you still think about that.

00:43:29.949 --> 00:43:32.869
It was a crazy night, dude. The taxi that was

00:43:32.869 --> 00:43:34.969
there, which made me not want to go in, so I

00:43:34.969 --> 00:43:36.690
started to walk back, and the guy kind of pushed

00:43:36.690 --> 00:43:39.650
me in, the white guy. I thought it was his taxi,

00:43:39.949 --> 00:43:43.469
because it wasn't his taxi. He was a cop. That's

00:43:43.469 --> 00:43:45.929
why I started to get out of there. But it turned

00:43:45.929 --> 00:43:49.130
out the taxi driver was a little Indian guy who...

00:43:49.260 --> 00:43:51.380
The braces wouldn't fit on him. The handcuffs

00:43:51.380 --> 00:43:53.440
kept sliding off his wrist. He was sort of skinny.

00:43:53.900 --> 00:43:57.920
Are you guys done? No. A little bit. So the taxi

00:43:57.920 --> 00:44:01.840
driver was getting doped, too? Yeah. That's great.

00:44:01.960 --> 00:44:04.119
How long ago was this? It was when they were

00:44:04.119 --> 00:44:06.579
running downtown. Oh, man. So a while ago. A

00:44:06.579 --> 00:44:10.260
while ago, yeah. And yeah, so I didn't want to

00:44:10.260 --> 00:44:13.619
go in. And the guy was getting out of the cab.

00:44:13.960 --> 00:44:16.639
It was the cop who was just moving the cab or

00:44:16.639 --> 00:44:19.920
something, whatever. But white guy, army jacket,

00:44:20.139 --> 00:44:24.309
you know, leaving the cab. Undercover. Undercover.

00:44:24.309 --> 00:44:26.530
Sure about this, yeah. That's why I was walking

00:44:26.530 --> 00:44:28.409
back. I was going back to my car. He said, oh,

00:44:28.409 --> 00:44:30.090
they're working, man. Go on in. I'm like, that's

00:44:30.090 --> 00:44:31.309
OK. I'm going to go in. I guess I'm going to

00:44:31.309 --> 00:44:33.849
come back there. No, go on. Go on. Donnie and

00:44:33.849 --> 00:44:36.230
Fourth never says that. He pushed me in there.

00:44:37.130 --> 00:44:39.909
Yeah, he pushed you into the dope spot. Yeah,

00:44:40.050 --> 00:44:44.789
that's OK. A cop pushed him into the dope. I

00:44:44.789 --> 00:44:47.190
mean, if that isn't in the whole thing. I was

00:44:47.190 --> 00:44:49.789
trying to leave. Yeah, I bet you. I was. You

00:44:49.789 --> 00:44:52.610
didn't get nothing, did you? I didn't get to

00:44:52.610 --> 00:44:55.369
know, I got jumped. Then another cop jumped on

00:44:55.369 --> 00:44:56.829
me, because they thought I was... So you got

00:44:56.829 --> 00:44:59.789
jumped twice? They thought I was a cop. So the

00:44:59.789 --> 00:45:01.989
cop jumped you because he thought you was a cop?

00:45:02.070 --> 00:45:03.670
Yeah, they were forcing around over there. Did

00:45:03.670 --> 00:45:06.469
you hear this? The cop jumped him because he

00:45:06.469 --> 00:45:08.469
thought he was a cop. Right, they were trying

00:45:08.469 --> 00:45:09.829
to like, they were forcing around, they were

00:45:09.829 --> 00:45:12.829
playing around. They were playing around. With

00:45:12.829 --> 00:45:16.170
their guns to my head. What? That's not playing

00:45:16.170 --> 00:45:18.050
around. They were spiting them off. They were

00:45:18.050 --> 00:45:20.550
playing around and tickling someone. I'm fucking...

00:45:22.320 --> 00:45:25.639
Yeah, it felt like you were getting arrested.

00:45:25.900 --> 00:45:27.639
And they're trying to arrest me. Yeah, there

00:45:27.639 --> 00:45:30.219
we go, finally. I don't even know what's going

00:45:30.219 --> 00:45:33.000
on. Yeah, because you're all high and stuff.

00:45:33.280 --> 00:45:35.440
Yeah, I thought I was getting jumped. They thought

00:45:35.440 --> 00:45:37.619
I was one of their undercovers. They didn't know.

00:45:38.019 --> 00:45:40.739
One guy thought I was someone else. They thought

00:45:40.739 --> 00:45:42.940
that he was one of their undercovers, so they

00:45:42.940 --> 00:45:46.019
jumped him. Yeah, they were playing. They were

00:45:46.019 --> 00:45:49.260
like, you know, pretending on the guy. But I

00:45:49.260 --> 00:45:52.059
didn't know that. And so the whole thing was

00:45:52.059 --> 00:45:56.000
a mess. It sounds like it, because the most funniest

00:45:56.000 --> 00:45:58.860
thing I've heard tonight is that the cops that

00:45:58.860 --> 00:46:02.260
were real cops thought you were a cop, but you

00:46:02.260 --> 00:46:04.679
weren't when you were going to score dope and

00:46:04.679 --> 00:46:06.840
then they jumped you because they thought that

00:46:06.840 --> 00:46:09.679
you were a cop to joke around with them. Right.

00:46:12.539 --> 00:46:15.260
Exactly. Then when they saw how hard I was fighting,

00:46:15.519 --> 00:46:18.380
they realized maybe they got the wrong guy, and

00:46:18.380 --> 00:46:20.099
they quickly got their guns out and put them

00:46:20.099 --> 00:46:25.239
all in my head. And that slowed me down. Yeah,

00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:27.300
that'll do it. They whipped me into the corner,

00:46:28.039 --> 00:46:29.679
and all the people that were on the stairs said,

00:46:29.719 --> 00:46:32.059
man, that was great, too. We never seen that,

00:46:32.179 --> 00:46:33.920
dude. You were really fucking those guys. So

00:46:33.920 --> 00:46:37.380
they didn't arrest you? Yeah, it was trespassing.

00:46:37.500 --> 00:46:40.559
I got, you know... So wait a second, they threw,

00:46:42.019 --> 00:46:45.340
huh? They took us all down the stairs, really

00:46:45.340 --> 00:46:47.059
caught everybody that was coming into the place.

00:46:47.519 --> 00:46:51.099
They drove us to the station. Oh, bring a paddy

00:46:51.099 --> 00:46:54.360
wagon? Yeah. Thank God I was out, I was out right

00:46:54.360 --> 00:46:56.699
before 11 o 'clock, just before 11 o 'clock when

00:46:56.699 --> 00:47:00.280
it started. I got out, it was the last call for

00:47:00.280 --> 00:47:03.480
the first call, you know, all the people. Thank

00:47:03.480 --> 00:47:05.280
God it wasn't the second call, I would have made

00:47:05.280 --> 00:47:07.210
it. And there's other Hillbillig in there telling

00:47:07.210 --> 00:47:09.610
me I'm going to Connie with him, you know, because

00:47:09.610 --> 00:47:11.489
he's looking for a white pal to hang around with,

00:47:11.530 --> 00:47:13.590
you know what I mean? But I've been good with

00:47:13.590 --> 00:47:15.769
all the Negroes. So wait a second. Wait, whoa,

00:47:15.989 --> 00:47:18.429
whoa, slow down. So you met a white guy in there.

00:47:18.550 --> 00:47:20.070
Some Hillbillig was in there trying to convince

00:47:20.070 --> 00:47:23.329
me that, you know, it didn't matter because I

00:47:23.329 --> 00:47:27.489
already had my pocket full of chicklets and a

00:47:27.489 --> 00:47:29.769
bunch of gum from the gum ball machine at work.

00:47:30.050 --> 00:47:35.019
It was broken. I mean, this story is the craziest

00:47:35.019 --> 00:47:38.699
story. I had chicklets in my pocket in lockup.

00:47:39.380 --> 00:47:41.920
Chicklets in my pocket. And there we go, I have

00:47:41.920 --> 00:47:43.920
chicklets in my pocket. The shine I'm in there

00:47:43.920 --> 00:47:47.219
with, he's having a... The what? The black gentleman

00:47:47.219 --> 00:47:48.539
I'm in there with. No, what'd you say the first

00:47:48.539 --> 00:47:51.579
time? You can say it again. He said shine, shine.

00:47:51.579 --> 00:47:56.420
All right, there we go. Whoever's listening now

00:47:56.420 --> 00:47:59.960
is in for it. Vice Lord. Or actually an ex -vice

00:47:59.960 --> 00:48:02.719
lord, of course. Nice. No, he's nothing but a

00:48:02.719 --> 00:48:06.380
dangerous vice lord. No, he's a diabetic vice

00:48:06.380 --> 00:48:11.900
lord. Oh, that was in a joke. Yes. Larry, laugh

00:48:11.900 --> 00:48:15.780
now. You want some sugar. You need sugar. He

00:48:15.780 --> 00:48:17.659
needs sugar? He needs sugar. Guess who's got

00:48:17.659 --> 00:48:21.619
sugar? You and your tank. Right here. You just

00:48:21.619 --> 00:48:23.300
opened up your butthole and let him in. I got

00:48:23.300 --> 00:48:25.659
this gum here, you know. Oh, man, it's great.

00:48:25.860 --> 00:48:27.599
Thanks, dude. You're awesome. You know, when

00:48:27.599 --> 00:48:29.360
you get down to town and you tell them, you know

00:48:29.360 --> 00:48:31.699
him and that, you know them, look, yeah, for

00:48:31.699 --> 00:48:33.300
you, man, I'm like, yeah, great, cool, thanks.

00:48:33.800 --> 00:48:36.059
So now the other hillbilly wants to buddy up

00:48:36.059 --> 00:48:38.760
with me, of course, because, you know, you think

00:48:38.760 --> 00:48:40.900
someone... You're one with the blacks now, yeah.

00:48:41.360 --> 00:48:43.659
Right. Because he knows you're an actual true

00:48:43.659 --> 00:48:47.590
lowlife. Right. Well, he just had candy in his

00:48:47.590 --> 00:48:51.349
pocket. That's not even being a lowlife. Some

00:48:51.349 --> 00:48:54.429
black guy was going to go into a diabetic coma

00:48:54.429 --> 00:48:57.869
and Don Anford had chiclets in his pocket. Then

00:48:57.869 --> 00:49:00.489
we bring in, they bring in these three dudes,

00:49:00.630 --> 00:49:03.289
two young kids and one old fella. I gave him

00:49:03.289 --> 00:49:07.269
my seat on the bench. He was so old. Never been

00:49:07.269 --> 00:49:09.849
rushed into Dana's life as a black guy. 72 years

00:49:09.849 --> 00:49:12.650
old. They got drunk after work and wanted to

00:49:12.650 --> 00:49:14.730
go get a prostitute. Nice. And they picked up

00:49:14.730 --> 00:49:18.909
a cop. And a poor old guy. I wonder if she was

00:49:18.909 --> 00:49:22.449
small. But man, that's so crazy. Imagine the

00:49:22.449 --> 00:49:29.110
odds of going getting the hooker in the city,

00:49:29.429 --> 00:49:33.829
a streetwalker, and you pick up a cop. It's 72.

00:49:34.590 --> 00:49:37.210
Those odds have got to be billions. Imagine the

00:49:37.210 --> 00:49:40.929
odds of a black fellow being 72 and never been

00:49:40.929 --> 00:49:44.960
arrested before. Now, Larry? That's some fucking

00:49:44.960 --> 00:49:51.719
crazy ass. His records have been hidden. Come

00:49:51.719 --> 00:49:54.940
on, Larry. A 72 -year -old black guy that's never

00:49:54.940 --> 00:49:59.699
been arrested. That is like an Occam's razor

00:49:59.699 --> 00:50:03.079
wrapped in an enigma wrapped in Pandora's box.

00:50:03.119 --> 00:50:06.219
Well, I know. He had a stretcher on the floor.

00:50:06.260 --> 00:50:08.320
There was no room. I let the guy take my spot

00:50:08.320 --> 00:50:10.599
on the bench because I couldn't do that. Was

00:50:10.599 --> 00:50:14.940
he a good kisser? No. No? Well, I'm sorry, then.

00:50:17.219 --> 00:50:19.559
Oh, man. So then they let us out, finally. Thank

00:50:19.559 --> 00:50:23.360
God they didn't tow my car. So... When was this?

00:50:24.320 --> 00:50:27.119
That's where I lived, from downtown. Today? No,

00:50:27.119 --> 00:50:29.920
no, no. I lived downtown. They drove my car back

00:50:29.920 --> 00:50:31.539
to the police station, so it was right there

00:50:31.539 --> 00:50:33.880
when I got out of jail. They said, we'll go right

00:50:33.880 --> 00:50:37.980
back to the drug spot, get my drugs. I got home

00:50:37.980 --> 00:50:38.980
from time to time to see the end of Linnerman.

00:50:39.119 --> 00:50:41.769
Any day with Hawaii. Nice. Yeah, any day with

00:50:41.769 --> 00:50:45.210
Hawaii, basically. Yeah. Because you're on a

00:50:45.210 --> 00:50:47.050
run, kiddo. Look at you, you can't even hold

00:50:47.050 --> 00:50:51.789
your phone. Which... Who can't do that also?

00:50:52.030 --> 00:50:54.090
That's a sign. Yeah, that's a sign right there.

00:50:54.570 --> 00:50:57.989
When I was getting... When needles was invested

00:50:57.989 --> 00:51:04.469
in fun stuff, I would sit on the wood floor.

00:51:04.619 --> 00:51:08.639
Dude, I know, I know. Every fucking minute, dude.

00:51:09.039 --> 00:51:11.380
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam,

00:51:11.380 --> 00:51:12.780
bam. Stop dropping my phone. Well, no, everybody

00:51:12.780 --> 00:51:16.219
was, they didn't know. Yeah, I knew. Oh, they

00:51:16.219 --> 00:51:19.019
know. Well, they knew, but, yeah, I was like,

00:51:19.360 --> 00:51:20.920
dude, well, piss off. They know, they think it's

00:51:20.920 --> 00:51:22.840
something they dropped, too. Fuck, I dropped

00:51:22.840 --> 00:51:24.860
my phone again. I think either I'm coming to

00:51:24.860 --> 00:51:27.769
lay in bed or I'm gonna look at my phone. You

00:51:27.769 --> 00:51:29.550
drive your phone? No, I don't go to work high.

00:51:29.789 --> 00:51:33.110
I didn't go to work. I stopped going to work.

00:51:33.309 --> 00:51:35.409
I mean, come on. You're going to lie to us now.

00:51:35.570 --> 00:51:37.630
No, I don't go to work right now. Tony said he

00:51:37.630 --> 00:51:39.989
saw you the other day. I sure got your phones.

00:51:41.150 --> 00:51:43.869
I work there high. Well, you just said you don't

00:51:43.869 --> 00:51:46.409
go to work high. The Elmwood Park restaurant.

00:51:47.469 --> 00:51:49.150
Because you make sure you go on delivery sometimes

00:51:49.150 --> 00:51:52.429
too. I'm sure you don't want to be driving around.

00:51:52.610 --> 00:51:54.349
What are you talking about? How many cars have

00:51:54.349 --> 00:51:59.639
you wrecked? Yeah, well, yeah exactly you shouldn't

00:51:59.639 --> 00:52:03.000
be anywhere near the wheel when you're on When

00:52:03.000 --> 00:52:07.400
you're on the clock shall I say? For doing drugs

00:52:07.400 --> 00:52:10.860
nobody should man. Well, I mean some people should

00:52:10.860 --> 00:52:18.300
You do adderall you do weed weed drug From what?

00:52:21.460 --> 00:52:23.699
Oh my god, I wish you wouldn't have said that

00:52:23.699 --> 00:52:25.619
that is the highest amount of milligrams that

00:52:25.619 --> 00:52:31.079
will ever be spoken on a show, I think. Jesus,

00:52:31.219 --> 00:52:33.320
you can't even keep water in your mouth, dude.

00:52:34.980 --> 00:52:37.380
Okay, well then tilt your head back, sucker.

00:52:38.659 --> 00:52:49.480
I've got to drink like a seal. All right, what

00:52:49.480 --> 00:52:52.400
time? Yeah, kiss you fucking guys. I told you

00:52:52.400 --> 00:52:54.639
Larry was gonna smoke. He'd be worth nothing

00:52:54.639 --> 00:52:58.460
this fucking guy Look at you just eating popcorn

00:52:58.460 --> 00:53:07.019
I know but we're doing a podcast or not Fuck

00:53:07.019 --> 00:53:22.880
man, I work with some target Tried what? That's

00:53:22.880 --> 00:53:28.920
probably not a good idea. Listen, how about this?

00:53:29.539 --> 00:53:32.559
Don't be a fucking glutton. Stop eating like

00:53:32.559 --> 00:53:37.239
a pig. Don't have to have fucking popcorn. Both

00:53:37.239 --> 00:53:40.559
you false teeth fucking bastards over here. I

00:53:40.559 --> 00:53:42.639
watched Larry's tooth pop out once because he

00:53:42.639 --> 00:53:47.039
bit a piece of pizza. Seriously, look, he's not

00:53:47.039 --> 00:53:50.360
saying no. He literally did, he bit a pizza pizza

00:53:50.360 --> 00:53:53.519
and his fucking tooth fell out. It doesn't wiggle

00:53:53.519 --> 00:53:55.960
out, it's stuck in there. Yeah, the tooth's gonna

00:53:55.960 --> 00:53:59.079
break before you put the gum in. Yeah, man. Now

00:53:59.079 --> 00:54:01.780
that motherfucker came out. No, he's talking

00:54:01.780 --> 00:54:04.800
about my actual teeth, bro. Yeah, you have none

00:54:04.800 --> 00:54:07.179
left, so what is he talking about? Oh, your real

00:54:07.179 --> 00:54:11.760
tooth came out. Yeah, real fucking tooth. That

00:54:11.760 --> 00:54:13.579
motherfucker came right. I mean that thing was

00:54:13.579 --> 00:54:16.039
like Napoleon just coming through the Bering

00:54:16.039 --> 00:54:19.119
Strait You know that's fictitious, but it's a

00:54:19.119 --> 00:54:23.260
sounds cool. Yeah, whatever the Bering Strait

00:54:23.260 --> 00:54:34.599
The Bering Sea The Bering Strait unlike you Bering

00:54:34.599 --> 00:54:42.760
Strait not like Bering Gay It's hilarious. You

00:54:42.760 --> 00:54:46.420
know, we had a really good time at the rock and

00:54:46.420 --> 00:54:48.619
roll party, Mark. You should have been there.

00:54:49.699 --> 00:54:53.940
I mean, I am really podcasting with fucking monkeys

00:54:53.940 --> 00:54:59.380
right now at this point. I really am. Y 'all

00:54:59.380 --> 00:55:02.800
have so much fun. Hey, get off your fucking phone!

00:55:04.509 --> 00:55:07.190
I didn't have any mushrooms or ashes. Well, if

00:55:07.190 --> 00:55:09.130
you would have came, we didn't have - we didn't

00:55:09.130 --> 00:55:11.489
have ashes, but if your dumbass would have came

00:55:11.489 --> 00:55:14.210
here, like, dude, I called you two fucking times,

00:55:14.329 --> 00:55:16.750
you ass clown. Did you? Yes, I did. I'll show

00:55:16.750 --> 00:55:21.030
you the fucking - Ask Larry. And we text you.

00:55:21.789 --> 00:55:24.409
Oh, now you're sorry. Oh, you know what? Nobody

00:55:24.409 --> 00:55:27.650
invited me over. I'm gonna be a gay ass faggot

00:55:27.650 --> 00:55:32.130
and make everybody think I'm fucking - But no

00:55:32.130 --> 00:55:33.750
if you would have answered your phone and looked

00:55:33.750 --> 00:55:35.730
at your phone But you know what you were too

00:55:35.730 --> 00:55:38.010
much of a dope monkey Because you had to fucking

00:55:38.010 --> 00:55:41.329
go downtown and go rub your fucking negro boyfriend's

00:55:41.329 --> 00:55:52.170
balls to get a couple bags Larry Man you really

00:55:52.170 --> 00:55:59.650
are a fucking Benedict Arnold Yeah said every

00:55:59.650 --> 00:56:04.730
drug addict I know And then before yeah, and

00:56:04.730 --> 00:56:07.750
then by six o 'clock at night, you're out. No,

00:56:07.750 --> 00:56:14.210
no, no Oh my god, here we go. Welcome to conservative

00:56:14.210 --> 00:56:18.369
drug addict corner with two drug addicts One

00:56:18.369 --> 00:56:21.610
X and one in the drug addict program recover

00:56:21.610 --> 00:56:25.250
now for what doing too much heroin last night

00:56:25.250 --> 00:56:30.739
again You guys can't have fun. All right, let's

00:56:30.739 --> 00:56:32.980
end it. I can't have fun? No, you can't. Why

00:56:32.980 --> 00:56:35.679
not? All right, let's end it. Why are you the

00:56:35.679 --> 00:56:38.099
expert on fun? That's what I want to know. Because

00:56:38.099 --> 00:56:40.760
you're sitting over there, all gacked out, eating

00:56:40.760 --> 00:56:44.699
fucking popcorn, and this guy doesn't even know

00:56:44.699 --> 00:56:51.119
what day it is. I did wake up Friday. I did wake

00:56:51.119 --> 00:56:55.300
up Friday. I woke up Friday at 630 last night.

00:56:55.599 --> 00:56:58.880
I thought it was morning time again. Exactly.

00:56:59.039 --> 00:57:02.019
So he thought today was Sunday. I was ready to

00:57:02.019 --> 00:57:05.980
go to Metro. There we go. Wow. Thanks for proving

00:57:05.980 --> 00:57:10.500
my point, Dianne. I really appreciate it. The

00:57:10.500 --> 00:57:12.519
retarder, the guy who doesn't know what day it

00:57:12.519 --> 00:57:15.559
is. I was actually sitting in my car. And this

00:57:15.559 --> 00:57:17.539
is the third time he's done this because he called

00:57:17.539 --> 00:57:22.139
me one time and was like, hey, what time is it?

00:57:22.519 --> 00:57:27.019
And is it light or dark out? And it was dark

00:57:27.019 --> 00:57:28.320
out, and he could have looked out the window

00:57:28.320 --> 00:57:30.420
and seen that it was dark out, but he didn't

00:57:30.420 --> 00:57:32.380
know that it was dark out because... Something

00:57:32.380 --> 00:57:34.300
like that. He couldn't look out the window because

00:57:34.300 --> 00:57:37.659
he was stuck in a position of contempt. Something

00:57:37.659 --> 00:57:39.840
like that. You can't tell. It's too dark. It's

00:57:39.840 --> 00:57:42.179
dark at 630. Well, yeah. Well, that means it's

00:57:42.179 --> 00:57:44.360
dark out then, after all. When the sun comes

00:57:44.360 --> 00:57:45.940
up... I know. It's weird. It's dark at the same

00:57:45.940 --> 00:57:48.179
time. Yeah. But when the sun comes up, you can

00:57:48.179 --> 00:57:50.159
tell the sun's up. Right. Yeah. You know, usually

00:57:50.159 --> 00:57:52.440
about 7 o 'clock. Well, like, if you had to be

00:57:52.440 --> 00:57:56.070
somewhere at 5 o 'clock... It's dark out at five

00:57:56.070 --> 00:57:58.429
o 'clock and it starts. I understand that you

00:57:58.429 --> 00:58:06.150
can be confused by a .m. p .m. Dark 5 4 5 6 7

00:58:06.150 --> 00:58:08.829
even but that means that you're sleeping and

00:58:08.829 --> 00:58:11.230
you're waking up it Well, that means you either

00:58:11.230 --> 00:58:15.670
really fucked up Because you passed out or you're

00:58:15.670 --> 00:58:18.349
really really fucked up because you've been on

00:58:18.349 --> 00:58:25.159
a bender and you passed out Because, or you just

00:58:25.159 --> 00:58:29.559
worked a big double shift and you came home and...

00:58:29.559 --> 00:58:32.119
Why are you looking at your phone? No, I can't

00:58:32.119 --> 00:58:34.480
let this go away. Well, why are you looking at

00:58:34.480 --> 00:58:38.280
your phone? I don't want this to go away. Well,

00:58:38.280 --> 00:58:42.920
why are you looking at your phone? I don't know

00:58:42.920 --> 00:58:45.719
what's going on here. It won't go away. You know

00:58:45.719 --> 00:58:48.619
what's going on? Yeah, you're in a podcast right

00:58:48.619 --> 00:58:50.260
now. That's what's going on. You shouldn't be

00:58:50.260 --> 00:58:53.639
on your phone. Dude, how many you've done like

00:58:53.639 --> 00:58:57.900
50 hours of this podcast and you still don't

00:58:57.900 --> 00:59:01.920
realize. You can't do you really can't stop looking

00:59:01.920 --> 00:59:06.179
at your phone for 10 for 30 minutes. Why? What

00:59:06.179 --> 00:59:08.780
is so addicting on your phone? Do you look at

00:59:08.780 --> 00:59:11.860
porn? No. OK, then what do you look at? What's

00:59:11.860 --> 00:59:14.380
so addicting? Because I know Don Anforth doesn't

00:59:14.380 --> 00:59:17.360
look at porn. You know what I know he looks for?

00:59:18.199 --> 00:59:23.880
Vacations and places to live. See I saw a house

00:59:23.880 --> 00:59:26.659
in Florida. Here we go. That's my boy something

00:59:26.659 --> 00:59:31.280
funny $50 ,000 we're at In the middle of the

00:59:31.280 --> 00:59:47.559
ocean, yeah Right next to the nigger island Just

00:59:47.559 --> 00:59:51.619
to make Larry laugh The only reason I say that

00:59:51.619 --> 00:59:53.800
is just to make him laugh. I don't mean that

00:59:53.800 --> 00:59:57.280
at all. That's his disclaimer. But no, that was

00:59:57.280 --> 01:00:03.360
funny. What, dude? What are you talking about?

01:00:03.380 --> 01:00:08.639
I need to look it up. No, look it up. N -I -G

01:00:08.639 --> 01:00:13.619
-G -E -R. No, I didn't say it. Did they look

01:00:13.619 --> 01:00:19.519
up? Did they throw the pictures in the yard?

01:00:20.559 --> 01:00:27.760
This guy's throwing spears. Big cattle. Big shot

01:00:27.760 --> 01:00:34.000
of Zulu shit. Dancing around Zulu warriors. We

01:00:34.000 --> 01:00:36.280
didn't do Larry Needles after dark. That's all

01:00:36.280 --> 01:00:42.750
we needed to do. Because remember the pictures

01:00:42.750 --> 01:00:44.889
of the one place you were going to get in Tennessee

01:00:44.889 --> 01:00:49.809
that was like $20 ,000? Yeah. But you couldn't

01:00:49.809 --> 01:00:55.929
fit enough children in there. Don Anfor's daycare.

01:00:57.710 --> 01:01:01.110
Yeah. It only cost me three million to run it.

01:01:01.570 --> 01:01:05.230
Collected a bunch of money for nobody. No, not

01:01:05.230 --> 01:01:07.369
exactly. You just want the kids. You don't care

01:01:07.369 --> 01:01:09.989
about the money. You're in it for the love of

01:01:09.989 --> 01:01:15.590
the game, kiddo. Are you gonna play fucking solid?

01:01:15.590 --> 01:01:18.150
Get out of here! All right, let's shut this down.

01:01:18.969 --> 01:01:21.969
He's fucking checked out, man. You're both checked

01:01:21.969 --> 01:01:24.590
out. You both fucking stink. I told you, once

01:01:24.590 --> 01:01:26.650
you smoke that weed, you're gonna be worth nothing.

01:01:28.590 --> 01:01:31.590
Okay, you're the fucking evaluator of words.

01:01:31.610 --> 01:01:35.510
I'm not the evaluator, I predicted fast. Well,

01:01:35.530 --> 01:01:37.989
you didn't. What was I looking for on my phone?

01:01:38.090 --> 01:01:40.630
You were playing solitaire one minute ago. No,

01:01:40.690 --> 01:01:43.530
it just came up solitaire. Oh, it just came up.

01:01:43.550 --> 01:01:45.690
You were looking for the house that you were

01:01:45.690 --> 01:01:47.989
gonna buy. Redfin, where is that? For 50 fucking

01:01:47.989 --> 01:01:54.150
thousand dollars. Prediction, nigga. Right next

01:01:54.150 --> 01:02:00.489
to where? None of your business. In between Little

01:02:00.489 --> 01:02:05.530
St. James. Biden Place. No, no, and Knicker Island.

01:02:07.130 --> 01:02:09.530
Knicker Island is what fucking what's -is -not.

01:02:09.750 --> 01:02:13.989
The guy from Virgin Island, or Virgin. The guy

01:02:13.989 --> 01:02:18.519
that invented pants, Knickers. What's the guy's

01:02:18.519 --> 01:02:22.420
name from Virgin Records? Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:22.659 --> 01:02:23.239
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:23.239 --> 01:02:23.239
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:23.239 --> 01:02:23.239
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:23.239 --> 01:02:23.239
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:23.239 --> 01:02:23.239
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:23.239 --> 01:02:23.239
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:23.239 --> 01:02:23.500
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:23.500 --> 01:02:23.559
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:23.559 --> 01:02:23.579
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:23.579 --> 01:02:23.579
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:23.579 --> 01:02:24.000
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:24.000 --> 01:02:25.400
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:26.500 --> 01:02:31.099
Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson. Branson.

01:02:32.360 --> 01:02:42.900
Branson. Branson. Branson. Br All right, come

01:02:42.900 --> 01:02:45.139
on, Larry, shut it down. Please, we can't do

01:02:45.139 --> 01:02:47.340
this anymore. Thanks for tuning in. I apologize.

01:02:47.960 --> 01:02:49.719
I wouldn't listen to this if you fucking paid

01:02:49.719 --> 01:02:54.340
me. I'm sorry. I wanted to show you guys what?

01:02:57.260 --> 01:02:59.840
Thanks for tuning in. Dude, you couldn't, you're

01:02:59.840 --> 01:03:00.619
fucking...