Wait, there are four mics. Are you starting now?
Yeah, man. Larry, you have two microphones. One
in your hand. Hey, everybody, welcome to the
Larry Needle Show. I just figured out. Wait,
no, no, no, slow down. Wait a second. I'm Larry
and I just figured out a new getaway. Don't let
Larry get out of this one so quickly. I just
figured out a new getaway to make our theme song.
Oh, that's how he does it. First of all, Larry's
retarded. He has two levelier mics on right now.
He's a genius. No, he's not. Why don't you put
one of those away, sugar baby? No, that's going
to be the ambient mic in case I need to do sound
effects or something. Hey, I'm still doing sound
effects. We're not uh, we don't We're not uh,
we don't We're not uh, we don't We're not uh,
we don't We're not uh, we don What kind of a
fucking ass con? That's what I said! That's not
what you normally say. You say, yeah it is. She's
doing it a little lower. Higher, you dumbass.
Who says that? Alright, well welcome to Larry
and Neil's show. There's another debacle between
the fucking... Oh man, um... So we were, uh...
Oh, man. We were watching these people. Needles
was watching this guy. He was playing with himself,
watching this guy work out through the window
at the karate place. We're just hanging outside
the karate place watching dudes work out. We
went to the liquor store next to the karate joint.
Which is, I mean, if that's not fucking Zen.
It's a brutal place. It's my tie. My tie. My
tie. In no way is that. Yes, Larry, it's my tie.
They do my tie. These fucking guys are tough.
Yeah, those my tie guys. Yeah. Dude, this fucking
guy. You know what I mean? They hit you with
the rum and then they hit you with the gold.
No, I'm talking about they're fighting in there
sometimes. Yeah, that's what happens in a fight.
That's what happens in a dojo, Larry. Yeah, it
was... For you simpletons. So there was this
guy lifting this... Big fucking dumbbell, about
80 pounds, and he just goes, that's about an
80 pound dumbbell. Just like you, Larry. Dude,
and even Larry laughed at that. He didn't know
what to say. Because listen, the fucking guy
wears a woman's small t -shirt, and we can't
even fucking argue that, right, Larry? Well,
it's not a woman's, but... Dude we went to the
show where the ladies like here. Here's a show
for her shirt for Larry. I'm like, that's way
too big She's like, this is a large She's like
I got this other one. It's a small. I'm like
you got one more. This is a lady He looks like
fucking It looks great in the fucking smile.
I was gonna say Keith Richards at a Quado convention,
but... So yeah Yeah, Larry's an 80 -pound dumbbell
and then it made me laugh. The dude was fucking
lifting some heavy shit. Dude, he looked like
the Hulk. He was like lifting and curling and
shit. You know, it was like a one -piece thing
and the fucking end's out. It was a dumbbell
just like you, Larry, a one -piece. Like 80 -pounders.
No, dude. This dude was lifting. Curling 80 pounds
is... I probably could not even lift that. Yeah,
dude, he would lift you like... I know. He would
spin you around like a sweet dandy you are. You
were gone. You were gone out of the class. Kiki
might remember. Well, then the hot chicks, the
hot Polish chicks... Yeah, they would put you
up against them because you're a lady. No, no,
but... Besides that? Sonny would want... Yeah,
besides that. Besides that. And you're a perv.
Sonny would want to show off. So he'd say, hey,
Larry, come here. And he would do the moves and
then he would have me... He'd be spinning me
above his head at the end and all that shit.
You know what? Larry might be retarded, but he
might be slice mark. Let me be retarded so I
could fight with the girls. This might be 8D
chess. As he's sitting there like this. They're
like, Larry, calm down. This isn't even started.
He's like, turn the lights off. You don't mind
if I accidentally grab your breasts or your ass,
do you? Jesus. And they're like, Larry, why do
you have your sunglasses on? They said, no, I
understand. The fullest chicks understood. Yeah,
I bet you they do. Sometimes your hand slips
and goes right on the twine. Jesus, man. Allegedly,
Larry. I mean, dude, trying to catch a case on
this show? I don't like this. This is all jokes.
Oh, now it's jokes. Now it's jokes. Can you explain
that to a state trooper? They were good -looking.
I think they were like 27, 28 years old. Is that
how old they were? Yeah. They were fucking hot.
You're just adding up both of their ages. One
was 13, one was 14. I know how it works. They
were 27 together. We should give them an unsolicited
plug just to make our algorithm funnier You all
right there, Larry? Yeah, I was gonna say, you
know, I'm just looking at the things we wrote
down. Which are probably stupid as shit. No,
my wife remembered when Jordan had the Hitler
Mustache. Your wife remembered? I brought that
up in the car on the way from the liquor store.
I asked Larry when we got home. He was verifying.
I was trying to steal my thunder. Yeah, he was
verifying. No, I'm just saying that's one of
the things. No, yeah, he's... Did people... I
don't remember anyone getting mad about it. First
of all, after they killed his dad, he can do
whatever he wanted. He was absolved of all of
his debts. No, it was my turn. He can do whatever
the hell he wants. Larry, you'll get one, dude.
Relax. Like a toddler. The needles are stingy.
What do you mean, I'm stingy? Yours is next.
Here, Larry. Aw, thanks buddy. You know what?
I'm like a Jew. That's hilarious. You know what?
If we bring out the nose meter, who's going to
fail? Me or you? Hey, do they clip those Jewish
chocolate candy coins? That's a good question.
To make more candy? I bet you they probably do.
I tried to find one. I couldn't find it today.
They made the bit a lot more funnier. But come
on, the Jews give me chocolate gold coins? I
mean, can you fucking - You couldn't find any?
Huh? They don't sell them? The Walgreens I went
to didn't have any. But think about this, they
give them fucking gold coin chocolates. What
do those come out at Easter time or something?
Is that a Jewish thing to represent? Do you remember
the little bags that they used to come in? Do
you remember this? I remember coins and shit.
Come on, you're a fat girl. You remember chocolate?
Trust me, I remember the gold. There's always
shitty chocolate. Slow down, honey. You got to
take the wrapper off. We've been taking foil
out of this kid's ass for a week. Dude, those
things taste like shit. That's why I haven't
had it in a long time. Yeah, they're terrible.
It's strictly for little kids that don't know
any better yet. Yeah, horrible chocolate. What's
that disease those guys get? Pironies? No, not
peronies. Not sickle cells. Peronies is like
sickle dick. Yeah, I saw a commercial for that,
like during the Super Bowl or something. Where
are you watching this in Mexico? Dude, I saw
like three times. I don't know where I was at.
Three times? They're all curved the same way
every time? Or did it go a different curve? I
can't forget the damn commercial because the
guy's like... He's going to bring the garbage
out and the garbage fell and his neighbor's out.
I got a guy for that. Then the grill. Yeah, this
is the... the pharmaceutical commercial, then
the guy goes out. First of all, any story you
tell, I don't believe, like, the one time. Exactly.
He comes out to start his car or something, he's
got a flat tire, the other neighbor's out, oh,
I got a guy for that. Then the next time he comes
out, he's like, hey, you guys got a guy for prone's
disease? Like, that was the commercial. And I'm
like, what the fuck? Actually, he pulls his dick
out. He's like, hey, we got a guy for that. He's
a hard eater. These like stupid ass commercials
then said like one out of every ten men have
Perone's disease or some weird number I was like,
really? You're just making up numbers, which
makes it even See look at he dude this guy's
enthralled. He thinks you're a fucking stupid
Walter Cronkite over here. Dude look it up I'm
telling you like it said like one out of every
ten guys or something. I'm like what? This is
why we need a producer And then he's thinking,
man, I've been lucky. I've been with like 40
guys and I haven't even seen it yet. Yeah. There
we go. I'm pulling bullshit. On what? On the
peronies. Dude, it happens when your lady's on
top of you and she smooshes your moot. No, that's
happened many times. Yeah. No, this is like natural
fucking. You got banana deck. This is one of
Jones' weird ways. Yeah, you got like banana
deck. Weird knots and twists. You got a Nazi
dick? He's doing the bell on me. You got a swastika
dick. You got a little armband on me. Literally,
are you done with that thing? Can I hit it in?
Thanks, bro. I appreciate it. Let's see. I got
something good for us today. Oh, I like the whole...
MJ Hitler mustache though. Nobody ever said anything.
Like I said, after his dad got killed. He could
have worn a Nazi armband while he played. Yeah,
he probably could have. And nobody would have
said anything. He could have had some designer
make his initials MJ into something that really,
really resembled the Swastika very closely and
wore it on him, our band, on his jacket. Every
little kid would have had one. Yep, and nobody
would have said a damn thing about it because
it's Michael fucking Jordan. No, he could do
what he wants. Yeah, apparently gamble what we
want. It's a resin ball. It's resin. Let me get
that piece of paper. Oh my God. Larry, let me
get that piece of paper. All right, dude, relax,
man. Is it dripping out of it? Remember, Michael
Jordan's dad was killed by the mob when he was
changing attire. And then he went to the White
Sox. He's like, oh, you can't play basketball
anymore, but let's go to the White Sox. All right,
dude. Come on, man. He was MJ. This guy was in
so much gambling debt. Who knows what involved
him? Yeah, but do you think that that's why they
fucking offed his dad? I could get something
deeper than that, man. Some sort of ritual, yeah.
I don't think he was in that. I mean, MJ makes
a lot of money. Well, yeah, I mean it's his dad.
I'm gonna sacrifice somebody right? Everybody
has to be sacrificed to Moloch. My niece went
to school with With his kids and I mean, I'm
an idiot But that's neither here whose nieces
went to wear my niece. Okay school with one of
Jordan's kids Yeah, and his house finally sold
was a kid white or black or mulatto actually
is that defensive mulatto? No, I'm a lot of this
in action. Not on this show. I'm not, I'm not
a feminist. I don't know, I'm not sure if the
key works. What a stupid question. Yeah. You
should slap me. Slap me right now. You're barely
legal so I can slap you with it. Oh yeah. Kiki's
completely involved. He can barely contain himself.
At this point these tricks are too old. Yeah,
well, I can still dream, can't I? Well, I'm just
saying. At this point, they're all dead. It's
kind of ironic. Yeah, in 95. In that bag of bones.
Well, if they were barely legal in 95, they're
basically fine. Oh, yeah, so... They're our age.
Not yours. Kiki found a barely illegal magazine
that I've been trying to hide by the Great Professor
Larry Flint that I've been trying to hide from
for two weeks Seriously, it's been right there
and I keep covering it and for some reason Larry
has uncovered it to look at the gold mine in
there There is a gold mine in there. What do
you mean? What kind of gold mine? The one girl
has the supple skin tight breasts All that good
shit. Nice little shoulders. A high clavicle.
You sound like a pervert. Do you miss the high
clavicle part? Because they're all men. You think
they're all men? I'm just for Russell. They're
all men, needles. Jesus, Russell. What are we
doing here? It's 11 o 'clock in the morning.
Mm -hmm. And he's on a hot one. Um, but yeah,
ah, shit, I forgot to talk about... Well, how
about the one cat that said, uh, who was it that
said, uh, lay off this pussy? Bush was the worst
president? No, Bush was the worst president.
Huh? The comedian said the joke. Oh, the Selena
joke from Geraldo. Yeah, that was okay. No, that
was actually really good. Because, you know,
she is a way worse president. Well, tell the
joke now. Tell the joke. Well, they were sitting
around and someone said, oh, George Bush is the
worst president. And Geraldo came out and said...
Worse than the president of the Selena fan club?
Yeah. There we go, Larry. I mean... Fourth hand
telling a joke have to be reminded how to tell
the joke. That was a two man piece, dude. Well,
I told it, I reminded you first, and then it
went to Keaton. No, listen, listen. No, no, listen.
It went to me, I told you guys, and then you
started telling it. Then it bounced back to Kiki,
and then Kiki had to remind you after you told
it again how to tell the joke. That's four. Get
pop pop as cane. Where's your baby? No, no, no,
I was joking. Oh, man. This is like, actually,
this is our nativity scene. He's been in the
crib for the past six months. Baby's spawning.
He just means the house. Yeah, he's been in the
crib. He's still on house arrest. I mean, seriously,
we got to take that kid to court, dude. You're
a horrible parent. His diaper's a little dirty.
He's got a rash. He cries when I try and change
him, though. So I just leave him in the basement.
Actually, he and Larry said, I need to get cools
in the cart in the middle. I said one day, I'm
going to go get some cools. I'll be right back.
And I mean, he's still your waiting for it. Nah,
he's here. He's a good guy. I admire his perseverance,
too, and his tenacity to stay with the game.
He already gave a white girl an STD, too. I mean,
well. He's got a couple diseases that are lifelong,
and it's sad because he's just a baby. Sickle
cell. Jesus, man, what are we doing here? He's
got like a rash from shaving his head. Don't
touch that thing. He's got ringworms. Well, so
do you then. He's got ringworms from all the
pit bulls that they've been fighting in the house.
They use the same towels to dry the pit bulls
off as they do the babies. Wipe the blood out.
Hey, go spray down Brutus and wipe him down.
Oh, boy. Wash that baby. Wash the pit bull, not
the baby. Then wash the baby. Absolutely. Can't
make babies fight. Wash them at the same time.
The pit bull and the baby. The dog's love spoiling.
Because you're a true dog. Let's hear that dog
in you. Give me a couple barks. There we go.
The first one was hurt and getting strangled.
That was his little bark. Oh, that was his little
bark, yeah. Now you're disparaging the black
community with your weak -ass barks. He's a baby.
Oh, he's a baby all of a sudden. But he's on
house arrest and he has a gold chain. Where'd
he get that from? Motherfucker's a badass. He's
a badass little baby. Aren't you gonna be a grandpa
now? You should start stuff -shuffling drugs
in his ass and let's drive around. See how long
it takes. No, let's not see how long it takes.
Bring him to the airport, start smuggling. There
you go. This baby full of drugs. Not my baby.
Not my baby. It's Larry and nine black women.
Who baby did this? Now my baby. Now my baby just
tap, tap, tap, tap. Look like Godzilla. Who baby
did this? It's mine, ma 'am. It's Larry. That's
my baby. You got him in one of those carriage
things. That's the thing. That's what I mean.
Dude, you should walk out. He hasn't been to
Walmart. It's just strapped to his crotch. Yeah,
that's a great idea. I haven't brought him to
Walmart, but I brought Groucho to Walmart. Yeah,
you're another one of your toys, another one.
A weird toy for a golden girl. No, it sits right
in the fucking cart. Yeah, as does any puppet,
I would assume. It looks like a little baby.
No, it does not at all look like a little baby.
Half of his face is missing, first of all. Second
of all, that is some MK Ultra shit right there.
It really is. They're like, this nigger's too
stupid. Did you just say you walked into Walmart
with that? Yeah. Yeah. You know, in a picture,
his dad went with him once. Yeah. Well, my dad
wanted to take it himself. But here's the thing.
I needed to get clothes for the dummy, you know?
No. You? You shouldn't talk about yourself like
that. You never know what size is. And it sucks,
man. Because it's hard to find cool clothes for
an adult, baby -sized adult. Wait a second. First
of all, that doesn't make any sense. That's a
baby -sized adult. I mean, that doesn't make
any sense. First of all, you should just go to
the child. He's old in material. You're acting
like this is a person. It's Groucho. It's an
inanimate object. Sort of like your brain, I'm
starting to think. Another inanimate object.
Fucking Einstein over here, banging his knees
and crossdressing. Since I was a kid, man. He's
like that. You ever see the movie Magic? I think
I have. Where the guy's like... Where Michael
Jackson molests a little kid? No, it's just a
gay gangbang. Yeah, that's what it is. And then
there's this magician, and he walks around, and
he's got a... Sorry. He's a ventriloquist, and
he has a dummy in a little box that, you know,
the case. And the thing, he's in the hotel room,
and the guy's drinking, and you hear the thing
in a muffled tone. Hey, let me out of here. Open
this fucking box, man. Yeah, that's when you
take that box and throw it in the fire. And then
he lets it out, and the thing's hot. What do
you mean he lets it out? He opens the box. What,
is he nuts? Well, it's a horror movie. Why would
you open that box? It's a fucking horror movie.
No, it sounds like, what's it called? He's going
crazy. Was it a guy or a girl dummy? It was a
guy. Both were guys. And the dummy was weird
because the dummy had a real kind of evil looking
face to begin with. Not really a nice looking
kind thing, you know? And then he's eventually
telling them, you better go kill that fucking
guy. Dude, it's so funny. Larry pulls up in a
Twilight Zone episode. Larry's seen six movies,
and one of them's magic. We used to do the best
bit when I'd explain movies to him. He's like,
you ever seen magic? I was like, dude, I was
four. I don't know what you're talking about.
That scared the shit out of me. Yeah, I bet you
it did. And that's why you got Groucho. And that's
why you just let every piece... Actually, the
Groucho is my brother's. Mine? You remember Lester,
the black guy? Yeah, we talked about this. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally, we had a black
one. Why do you have a black one? Why do you
think? That's what we have for Christmas. Because
that's who he associated with. It just happens
to be what we have. There's more bloodline. The
opposite of a Viking. I can see you on Christmas
morning though. Why is mine black? Just slapping
everybody around and getting drunk. Colt 45.
Typical African -American Christmas. That's what
I was sold. The mom smokes crack, the dad drinks
Colt 45, and all the kids get slapped. Typical
African -American Christmas. Merry Christmas,
you fucking communist. Did you say happy Christmas?
Yes, he did. Do you want to slap him or should
I slap him? I hope people don't say that happy
holidays shit anymore. Happy fucking holidays.
Does it really matter? No. No, but I just like
when people say Merry Christmas. You know, and
I like when I get my ass kicked. Telling everybody
to do it. You know, if they say happy holidays,
you just tell them you're going to hell. just
sneaking around. Sneaking? Yeah. I got like foreign
shorts on and they say happy holidays. And the
O is right in the ass. There's actually some
like four decent looking broads in my job. Jesus,
I mean, we cannot get two weeks without somebody
wanting to sexually harass somebody on this show.
There's four women I can sexually harass. Why
does this guy keep walking around? Why does he
come out of the women's bathroom? Is there an
HR department? Huh? Is there an HR department?
Yeah, me. That's it? Oh, well then you're fine.
Homo resources. Yeah. Oh, man. He's like, ah,
man. I fit right in. So you won't get fired.
If he does what? If he's human resources, he'll
be fined. But if he does what, Larry? He could
sexually harass those women. How can he, Larry?
He's correct. Wait a second. Let's break this
down for a minute. How can he sexually harass
them, Larry? If he's had human resources... You
can't even speak. If he's human resources...
Okay. What will fly? What will fly? Everything.
Anything. Sniffing off his chairs. Yeah. He's
right. Does that fly? He's correct. All right.
Taking the toilet seat when the hot girl goes
in there after she's in the washroom. I'm correct.
He's not saying anything. No, but that's... Actually,
I'll use him as my patty. He's my Jack Rubenstein,
actually. No, seriously. Jack Larry style. Foot
cams. You can do whatever you want. Huh? Because
you're HR you can do whatever you want. What
are they gonna do turn you in complain? We look
the case over and I decided that I'm gonna let
myself slide on this one. I was a witness. I
was there. I was the person You can't be the
perpetrator and the witness. I kind of can be
I had a camera set up And you say, well, so did
I. There we go, you like that one. I'm a pervert
in two dimensions. I saw a couple of Porto Potti
arguments. Porta potty arguments. Yeah work.
Well, you know how people write in the wall.
Oh art porta potty art Well, but they were no
we talked about arguments arguments. Well, what
you asshole Well, the one thing is you you turn
a door like you take a piss and you turn to the
door I grant your eyes and with someone wrote
my penis rub the handle whoops Good luck, it's
so cold out. Your dick's like that big. And I
know, because I shit outside. If your meat can
touch the door handle, don't touch it. Seriously,
man. Dude, those porta potties are tiny, dude.
Like, how are you even supposed to move around
in them things? Move around? Well, yeah. First
of all, I want to start a company that does heated
porta potties and takes care of them good, but
it costs good money. Well, they already have
them. OK, and? You don't have them. I don't have
them. They're nice. So you gotta market them
to some people. They don't put it in the shit
jobs that you do. Rich people, my ass. No, the
rich people, they're the ones that pay for those
things. Because when they have parties... Normal
rich folk don't want to take a shit. I used to
work for this guy Marty He would fucking come
out anytime there was a part of our cameras and
all of our porta potty Just bring them to the
women's college These guys have the porta potty
contract and the women's laundry Real Hugh Hefner
Sorry Larry, I didn't mean to cut you off. Oh,
but no, the porta -potty argument I saw. Oh yeah,
back to that. Somebody put like Trump won, and
then somebody like... They put like a mean face,
like Trump's a pedo. And they're just arguing
back and forth, so somebody keeps going back
in there. So wait a second, now you're involved?
So where people shit in this room, you're involved
in writing things on the wall. Well, no, I take
a piss and I'm reading, because you can tell.
Oh, you didn't write? The same people come back
in there. Did you write? No, I didn't write anything.
Oh, OK. They come back in there. My parents probably
don't even know who they're arguing with. My
favorite, right behind... the toilet tunnel to
Mexico? Or the arrow. Look over here, you're
gay. Yeah, it's very funny. And when you first
get a shitter on site, it makes me laugh for
like six months. Here's what I do. Here's what
I do. Oh boy. It's way funny. I drill a hole
in the side and I pull up to be Tara. What do
you do? I'm waiting for this asshole to fucking
stop. It's not even worth it now. It's always
worth it. I always like to do this, like, if
it's a festival or something, all kinds of families
and people in line. I always come out of the
thing and I say real loud, the bathroom was nice,
but the soap in the sink didn't really lather
up. And then, you know, like you're... I don't
understand what you mean. Yeah, exactly. You
wash your hands in the urinal. The sink was too
low and the soap didn't really lather up. The
pock. You just said that mint didn't taste very
good. Well, no, because any idiot would know
that. You shouldn't wash your hands in the urinal.
Yeah, but that's the funny part. Oh, yeah. Excuse
me. He puts a little kid after you. Yeah. Another
thing I just want to do is scream at the top
of your lungs, you know, while you're in a, you
know, at a restaurant, bathroom or something,
as you piss. A unisex or a regular one? Anywhere,
but you just scream at the top of your lungs
and then you come out of the bathroom like nothing
like normal. Everyone's looking at you. Well,
why would you do that? Then you got to eat with
Mary. I know. That's kind of weird, man. Poor
fucking Mary. She gets really mad. She's like,
I was a lawyer. I was a lawyer, and I'm with
this retard. Like somebody, please. She's going
to start taking you down to Michigan Avenue and
let you wander around. Larry, I'm going to go
in this store. Why do you do that? And I go,
it's a joke. You know, like I got BD and I'm...
It really hurts when I piss and she goes, yeah,
I get it. But why do you do it? It's not really
a great joke when you just embarrass your wife.
And you're a sugar baby. Dude, first of all,
this guy is the supreme leader of the sugar babies.
He completely disparages his wife, who pays all
the bills. You just said you just did. Wonderful
to her. You just told us how you do it. Sounds
like it. Yeah. You embarrass her. That's just
a little joking around. Not at all. You have
to eat food there. Hopefully it's after you're
done eating. And then everybody looks at your
hands. It would be funny if you went out and
rubbed her face. That would be great. Now, there
you go. You want to make it uncomfortable. Oh,
man. I learned it from one of my friends, this
guy Aldo, I used to work with. He used to rub
your face? No, he used to scream real loud at
the... Good guy, huh? Yeah, I mean, this guy
sounds top notch. He was so funny, man. Yeah,
it sounds real funny, Larry. Did he just yell
at people while they were working? No, man, like
the boss brought us to a restaurant or something
for lunch, like a Denny's or some shit. That's
where your boss brings you. I don't know. You
don't know? Green fucking restaurant. I mean,
I know what restaurants are. I don't know what
fucking place, but you know, one of those places
that might have used to have been in Denny's
or something. A Greek restaurant? Yeah. Dude,
this is like, they don't exist anymore. Not many
of them. Like a Greek restaurant. Like Geno's.
Oh, like a Greek restaurant. Not like Denny's
at all. Completely over here. Like Dino's or
something. I mean, it feels like I'm interrogating
a fucking retard right now. Well, why are you
interrogating me? What's the difference? Because
I'm asking you questions, and all of a sudden
you're like Denny's. And then he's like, yeah,
because I want to go to the phone. But he would
do it at any restaurant, any given place. There
we go. Actually, this guy, he would fucking drink
a lot, obviously. And we would take drugs at
work. I mean, the plot thickens. And one time,
he's like, hey, Larry, can you do me a favor?
You know, you do, you can handle saying, you
know, we used to do hardwood floors. You can
handle doing this floor. I can't handle it. I'm
going to take a nap. And the people weren't home,
you know? And so he goes into their fucking bedroom
and he literally strips down naked and gets in
their bed and he's under the covers asleep. And
the people come home. Oh my God. And I'm trying,
you know, and I'm working. I don't even hear
him. There's loud machines going and shit and
they find him in the room. Naked. You know, and
he's a drunk and he looks like a drunk. He can
look like Joe Walsh, you know. That's the guy
I reminded you of. I don't know who Joe Walsh.
Joe Walsh, the fucking guitar player. The blonde
hair guy that looks all screwed up. So the people
were fucking, couldn't believe that a worker
was naked in their bed. And this guy's dirty,
you know, sanding floors. They weren't happy?
No. First of all, what the fuck is going on here
that you just let some guy go upstairs and get
naked in the bedroom? It wasn't upstairs, it
was a one level, huge ranch type place. Did you
see him get naked? No, but I saw him after Matt.
I saw the aftermath. And Marty's like, what the
fuck is wrong with you? So he had to pretend
that he fired Al, because then he couldn't go
back to that house. And then the next house we
went to. The next house? Yeah. Because we would
go from place to place. I understand how that
works, Larry, from one place to another. We had
a fucked up buffer. One of the buffers was fucked
up. and the fucking thing plugged it in. I plugged
it in and the thing turned out and it took one
full turn and bam, smashed him right in the head.
Are you a fucking midget? How tall are you? Not
the other guy. I bet you you were. That is not
a foul story. Anyways, the next day... The other
guy was bent over. And the guy goes, the little
kids are there, you know, watching. They're like,
mommy, did you see that? And then, you know,
that's another job that he's like, I don't want
to go back there tomorrow. I'm so embarrassed
that that happened to me. Because, you know,
the guy's just a total fuck up drunk. He's like,
let me fix these wires. He's down here fucking
with it. And wham! After he tells me to plug
it in, you know? Another reason why Larry is
retarded. Who's your boss hiring you guys? RIP
Aldo Ferraro too. I mean these guys sound like
they're wanted in at least two or three warrants.
Still. Yeah. And they're state and federal. Those
after death warrants. They wanted these bodies
sent back to Puerto Rico just for kicking. I
mean, should we draw attention to Larry's little
girl's shirt that he's wearing right now? Can
you show Kiki? It's a gun show. Look it. Do I
look like I care? I mean, dude. No. Man, you
just took that shirt from some small lady and
then walk a shot. Walk a shot. There goes her
Christmas present. Shame on you, Larry. And there's
a good Waukesha on the screen. Isn't that when
they had the latest fucking massacre recently?
I don't know. Waukesha? Wisconsin? I don't know.
Did they have a massacre? Didn't they? What do
you mean? I don't know. Something in Wisconsin?
I mean, come on, how about this? Where was the
last one? Where was that Brown University? I
was just about to talk about that. Pennsylvania?
Rhode Island? Rhode Island, yeah. Providence.
Bunch of idiots. And the president there makes
a shit ton of cash? She makes, I don't know,
how many millions a year. How about the cop that's
involved or his nephew just got sentenced to
22 years for dealing fentanyl? Yeah. And how
about this? Really? I didn't see that. They said,
oh, he yelled something out, but no one will
say, oh, he yelled out Ali Akbar. They won't
put that on the news. Allah. Whatever. Ali Akbar.
Ali Ali Akbar. Ali Akbar. Someone you show you're
nuts. Like a rock concert. Ali Akbar. Anyway,
you're nuts in your gooch That's actually good
So yeah, you know and that's how that goes that's
how what goes They won't fucking come out and
say so they won't say won't admit that he said
that First of all, I don't give a fuck about
that. Do you know what happened to this guy?
Oh, he said this guy goes inside a storage unit
kills himself and that's it It couldn't be faker.
It's fake It's a movie, Larry. They're pushing
Muslim shit, man. Dude, this is predictive programming
101. They're MK Ultra people right now. Listen,
when they call you a Nazi, it's easier to kill
you because you're not killing a human, you're
killing a Nazi. You know what I mean? They put
these monikers on you. They just voted in England.
Man, hopefully get rid of all the n -words and
the fuckin' shines and coons. Not that. They
voted - Muzzies, too. Actually, the Muzzies.
To be done with jury trials. That's great. They
want the judge to be the final state. Listen,
first of all - If you say - Oh my god, that's
dangerous. Niger or Muzzle's Bed. Nigerian. Niger?
Man. People to Nigerians? You think it was called
Niger because somebody stole the other G? Yeah.
You know how they are. That shit adds up. I'm
sorry. That's a good one. Dude, that's a good
stand up there. You opened with that one? Oh,
yeah. It sets the tone. That's a good joke, Larry.
Did you hear what I said? What? I had a response
to that. Okay, what was it? I don't remember
now, but it was funny. It went along with it.
Okay. I said, oh, yeah, you know how they are.
And then you said... Larry. Larry, what... Okay,
how about this? What predictions do you have
for next year? Two of them. Predictions you have
for next year. We'll start with Larry. You do
one, and then we'll go one along. And they can
be the most outrageous thing ever, because of
the world's climate right now where we're at.
The craziest shit's coming out. Think about this.
Shooters, this brown shooter guy we were just
talking about, and then all of a sudden that
guy at MIT gets killed in Massachusetts, and
then... Oh, the MIT guy. The Epstein and the
fucking, uh... I like how they link that guy
to the other guy. Brown and then MIT, which is
completely farcical. It's the most farcical thing
you'll ever hear. Such bullshit. Listen, all
that shit's fake and gay. That's all it is. And
then stupid Dan Bongino, I'm leaving so I can
go back to podcasting. Like, dude, we podcast
and we're a bunch of fucking faggots. You're
a faggot. You're a faggot, too. Retarded faggot.
This guy is. But wait, wait. Bongino is saying
that that's why he's leaving? No, he's just leaving.
I think that's the reason. He's out of there
because shit's not happening the way he wants
to. Yeah. Well, oh, boo hoo. I'm gonna be on
my podcast and I'm gonna be like I'm the toughest
motherfucker because I had a detail on Hillary
Clinton and I was head on fucking Obama and this
is fucking proven and then oh I can't go under
Trump it's so hard to do this get the fuck out
of here. Such the bullshit worst stuff. So wait
what are you saying why is he leaving? Because
he's a gay faggot. What was his fucking excuse?
I don't care what his excuse was. Cash Patel
was a bad kisser. His lips stink like poop. I
don't know, man. It doesn't really matter. These
fucking people. I thought you might add something
to the story. Okay, but listen though. You want
to play guitar in Jane's Addiction and then you
get to play it and you're like, you know what?
These guys are too fucking weird for me. And
I quit the band. How can I like it? Is that a
good analogy? You understand what I mean, Larry?
Like, you fucking, you start playing guitar in
a band, and then they're just too weird. The
band's like, ah, we like to finger each other's
asses and pee on each other. And you're like,
ah, man, you know what, I'm good, dude. I'm not
a homo. But you look like a chick, but one hit
wonders. We were talking about this. So Kiki
and I were talking about with these one hit wonders,
if they didn't want to sell their souls to the
Jews or the devil. And that's why they were one
hit wonder. Isn't that crazy? Especially back
in the day. Why are they? Because they didn't
want to sell their songs? Yes. So they were only
allowed one hit. And it didn't progress any further
than that, right? What do you think about? This
is something we were just talking about. It drives
you crazy. A lot of those people that get a hit,
it's like you're almost better off being in an
underground band than getting a hit because then
you're always chasing another hit that you never
get. And they end up... going nuts and committing
suicide and shit. I don't know about that. Because
they want that hit, man. Drugs. It's the ultimate
fucking - Yeah, but the thing is, it's not the
one -hit wonder, Larry. It's not the band. The
band has a one -hit wonder. They have 11 more
songs, 12 more songs. They don't want to sell
their soul to the devil. They weren't allowed
to get those hits anymore. Yeah, but here's the
thing. The guy that wrote the song... that's
not in on it and doesn't know. Who doesn't? Whoa.
Well, listen, the guy that doesn't sell his soul.
Wait a second. He has the ability. Turn a little
bit more to your right. Let the light shine on
that. He thinks he has the ability to get another
hit, you know? Well, no. And he drives him nuts,
and they end up killing himself, and that's part
of the devil's trick. I know, you just said that
twice. Well, then fucking get the shit out of
your ears, jackass. What? No, but that's the
whole point, though, is they're not, they didn't
want to sell their soul. because otherwise they
would have had that double multiple hits. Yeah,
they don't want to give up their solar, they
don't want to give up their shackles. Because
they also do have to do like gay stuff, and they
have to do even weird bestiality. I don't even
fuck about reality. Like you said, they end up
trying to chase that shit, and they get them
in the end anyways. Yeah, that's what we're saying.
Exactly. No matter whichever way they go. Hook
or hook. They're gonna get your butthole if you're
a man or a woman. They took the high road. Whoa,
slow down there. They make millions and they
go crazy and they fuck up their whole life, or
they go the other way and they're just destitute
and lowlife. Larry, we know this, but you're
not understanding the simplicity of what we're
saying. is that, okay, we understand that people
get this money and stuff, but the people that
don't want to accept the Lord, Satan, or... Yeah,
and that's the way Satan still gets them either
way. I understand that, but there's also people
that just left the business because they couldn't
deal with that shit. That's what I'm saying.
Not everybody accepted that path or route. Do
you understand what I mean? And there are people
that walked away, and yeah, they don't want to
get raped in the ass by Diddy. Like Bone Thugs
in Harmony. Uncle Charlie? Uncle Charlie and
the Boys. Pork chop, pork chop, chicken legs
and chitlins. They actually were pretty good.
Yeah. Bone thugs? Yeah. My friend Ujavu, that's
his favorite band. Huh? Ujavu, that's his favorite
band. He's still in prison. Oh, remember this
is the guy that was in prison, the Indian guy.
Did we send those ruffles or what? Ruffies. Did
you meet Ujavu? Yeah, we did. Yeah, we were in
Syria. He was in a cage like don't worry brother.
We'll get you The worst gig I ever did out there
in the town square at the little festival this
last summer I mean, no their job was there was
he yeah without his parole officer They let him
out. Yeah, he got up for good behavior. I mean
there was a school like not even a hundred yards
away I don't think I met him I mean, Larry shouldn't
even been there. There was a school 202 yards
away. You know you travel, right? Yeah, man.
I tried to call ICE on him. Aw, man. I think
he's a legal citizen. Aw, man. I think he is
legal. He's what? I think he's a legal citizen.
I mean, you shouldn't say that. I mean, it sounds
so... Was it illegal or legal? Is that illegal?
I don't know, man. You don't even know. Why are
you so pale? Look at how pale he is. He's gonna
die, man. What's this? He's gonna fucking die.
Why? I don't know. Look at how pale I am. I don't
know what my face looks like, but my hands are
fucking white as shit. You're pale as shit, dude.
Whiter than fucking all get -out. I don't know,
you know? I know we don't know. Some of those
things, it's like... You're pale one day and
then the next day you're fucking taking land
from the Indians I mean, that's what we do. That's
what we're known for. Right? That's land grab.
I mean technically the land grab is pretty mutual
Why did you have to bring that up? You are a
grown man working a job. You're trying to dig
into my pockets. He's a good baby. That's all
right, call the cops on him. That would be great
if we called the cops on him. Here he is, officer.
Someone's going to think it's real. It's a rubber
baby out there. Actually, you know what you should
do? You should go rob a bank and then put a gun
to his head and try to get out that way. Yeah,
good idea. That's what you should do. My friend
Chris. Oh, why do you have a Kabbalah bracelet
on? I know. He's a fucking... He has a Kabbalah
bracelet. You know what that is, Kiki? This thing?
Yeah. Yeah. It's a guy who's wearing the shooter
at Thomas Massey Crooks or Thomas Crooks Massey.
He's involved in all kinds of nefarious shit.
Yeah. First of all, he's African. He's one of
the Boulay. You know what the Boulay is? He's
got his first Boulay. The Boulay is the Black,
Brown, James, Black, Freemasons. Oh, man. Because
Black's in... small hats muslims the jews the
muzzies they're not allowed yeah first of all
well i saw i saw a pictures of fake jay -z and
everybody had a fucking they were they were at
a masonic meeting they may have been there with
the aprons and everything really okay aprons
jay -z you know the fucking i don't think they're
allowed though no they don't let you know they
have their own little clubs But they have to
be overseen by a man. By a white guy. Well, yeah.
Oh, another thing I wanted to add to my list.
So my list last week is... You're not fucking
everything up. No, not at all. So my list last
week was things women shouldn't do. Do you guys
remember that? Vaguely. Okay, what things shouldn't
women do? Drive. Yep. Vote. There we go. Serving
cops. Lady Genevieve Cobb. You know why? You
are more likely to be shot by a lady cop than
a black guy. How about the guy that got shot?
The guy in Australia. Oh, come on, that's a false
flag event. No, but... The lady cops are just
standing there all quiet now. I told you, when
she pulled the muscle, make it a sandwich. No,
somebody that disarmed the bad guy, took a gun
from the bad guy, and then the bitch shot him.
So one muzzy took it from another muzzy. And
then she shot the wrong guy. You know what that's
like? It's like the Spider -Man movie where they're
all pointing at each other. This muzzy, this
muzzy, and then this laser shot. Yeah, they have
this footage where they show this guy wrestles
a gun away from this guy, and he doesn't shoot
him. The other guy that he takes the gun from
walks away backwards. He never turns his back
on him. He's like, don't shoot. But you understand
that video could be... Everything's cool, and
then he gets shot by a female cop. Larry, you
know, have you ever seen him get shot by the
female cop? Because I have not. I have not either.
But video can be manipulated also, Larry, with
AI and things that the way that they are. You
should not believe what you see. And that is
what they want. They want us not to discern what
is truth and what is reality. But the funny part
is, though, that they made it a female cop. But
don't take it personally. I'm just saying this
is what they're doing to all of us right now.
They're trying to fucking distort our reality.
and make us not realize what's fake and real
anymore. Well, they would feed us all crazy bullshit.
Well, I mean, yours is all like pizzas and fat
asses and Asian women. Yeah. You're very, dude,
I'm telling you, out of the three of us, who
do you think would fucking cave first to a honey
pot? Yeah. Well, probably. Well, it depends.
I'm married, so I wouldn't even. Did you hear
us both laugh? He's trying to hide it. I mean,
all of a sudden, Saint Larry of Noassius. Saint
Larry of Noassius. He has no ass and he doesn't
get it. What's that? I'm not a lowlife like you
would be. Oh my gosh. Let me tell you. There
was a one time - I lied by watching you. Yeah.
I should make a limerick about Larry. There once
was a man that was in Poland. He didn't know
how old these children were. Get the fuck out
of here. They said this commercial when we were
kids that the dad comes in, the dad comes in
the room and catches the kid with some drugs
and shit. He's like, what the fuck? Where did
you learn how to do this? And the kid's like,
from you, dad. And that dude looked dapper. Yeah,
did you ever see that commercial? No, he had
a sweater vest on, a collared shirt. Where'd
you get the sweater vest? It was like a cigar
box. I learned by watching you. It's just weed.
Those were great because a lot of those commercials...
You know how good the dope had to be back then?
Oh, my God. What do you mean? Oh, yeah. What
do you mean, oh, yeah? I thought you meant the
weed. No, come on, sucker. I realized in one
second... Well, because they called the weed
dope back then, so I can see your confusion.
I mean, obviously, this guy smoked 45 bones today.
But then I realized it's coming from Needles,
and I know it's fucking... He's talking about
jobs. We're getting back to the women cops. It's
funny you guys said that. How many women cops
do you think you'd fight? Six. How many times?
Six. Half a midget. I could fight one of them.
A midget lady. Do you think that? The black woman.
Oh, yeah. Southside fucking Chantisa. There was
a video. Southside Chantisa. A black guy got
pulled over by a man and a woman. And the black
guy's like, I do have a gun in my pocket. And
the cop's like, all right. Well, no, the male
cop's like, all right, step out of the car. He
gets out. Obeying everything, gets out. The female
cop's like, all right, I'm going to set you.
She goes in his pocket, shoots him in the leg,
grabs the gun, goes off, and shoots the guy in
the leg, and he wins a lawsuit. Because, yeah,
she grabbed the gun and pulled the trigger and
shot the guy. Yeah, it's the same when you think
of it. Well, when your dick's that big, you know
what I mean? When your dick is that big and you
only got this much to do it in two days. Think
about that. With those little hands. Women should
not be cops. Disagree or not? I sort of agree,
because here's the thing. Sort of a yes or no,
Larry. Don't be a fucking Larry Fentzer. Yeah,
I agree. I agree, man. The only time they should
be cops is when they're shit. Sort of is my fucked
up way of saying yeah, dude. That's a fucked
smile. That's it. What, Larry? I'm sorry. Nothing,
nothing. He said the joke. I just laughed at
it. Okay, that's great, buddy. I didn't say anything,
man. Hey, you know who's got an OnlyFans number?
Oh, man. This is where the levels were sinking
to. Yeah, well, I'll sign you up. We're promoting
Jew fucking degeneracy. Yeah, well, you know
what? I forgot her damn name. Jesus, man. Hot
black chick from a 90s movie. What the hell is
that? Who is the blonde chick from the Steven
Tyler Aerosmith video? Liv Tyler? No, Hot Blondchuk.
She went on to do movies. Bro, I mean... The
one that married Joe Perry? Where does this go?
I don't know where the fuck is this story going?
Well, she did a movie with, like, Mean Girls.
I forget the name of it. My God, man, this story
is the craziest story ever. Stacey Dash, you
know Stacey Dash? The black girl from Mean Girls,
the black... Check for Mean Girls or something.
Stacey Dash. Stacey Dash, yes. Oh my God. What
a rollercoaster. She's gotta be like, what, 40
-something? Yeah. Maybe she's showing old pictures
when she was 18 or something. She has pictures
saved up. A rollercoaster of idiocracy. That's
what you are. That's it, dude. I think she was
saving these photos up for years, just doing,
you know. Saving them up. So she was waiting
for an OnlyFans. Sherry sent me a thing. Meme
today and she and it said uh, man you two fuckers
man. You're making me retarded I swear to god
If you're uh, if you're spending money on i'm
only fans because you can just If you're the
kind of guy... Dude, you just changed the thing.
I'm changing the beginning. I let you go, dude.
Shut your fucking pile. I let him go. Shut your
pile. It says if you're the kind of guy that
pays for an OnlyFans account... Then you can
just stop right now and you can just look in
the mirror if you want to see a pussy or something
like that It didn't say that you said or something
it said like this at the end you just said That
is the wordiest meme I've ever taken 62 I wouldn't
have made it to the end He just said it was a
meme. I was just going along with the OnlyFans
thing you're talking about. I wasn't talking
about OnlyFans. Dude, it is - The fuck you weren't.
I wasn't. He was talking about OnlyFans. Well,
we were talking about - What do you mean the
fuck? The only - The fuck you weren't. The wrong
only - The subject was. You know what? I'm gonna
put you both in a leg lock and I'm gonna fart
on your face and I'm gonna tickle your nose.
Have you ever seen a fucking show how it works,
idiot? They talk about a subject. And then everybody
fucking adds in on that sub that type of subject.
You know what? It really doesn't look like he
cares though. He does not care though. I mean,
if only there was a sign that I know that he
doesn't care. Fucking moron. I love it. I like
how he knows what I'm talking about. You two
neuroscientists over here. Girls are selling
pictures and videos of themselves nude for like
$3 .50 a month. Like, that's horrible. Like,
you gotta be low down. Well, they get more than
that, actually. Well, some do, but do you look
at them? Well, each fucking subscriber. I mean,
okay, listen, first of all, are we gonna talk
about Jewish degeneracy? Who owns those companies?
We're looking at it, right? Oh, you want to do
a nose comparison? Oh, look at Kiki's lamp! Look
at Kiki's lamp! Dude, you know what? Let's go
fucking pre -bake the oven and find out! This
fucking idiot burned plastic in my fucking oven.
Again? I mean, really? He still hasn't fixed
it. Yeah, it's been like two years, three years.
No, it's been five years. No, it hasn't been
five years. Tell me, we started dating seconds
ago. It happened one day after a podcast. We
haven't been doing the podcast five years. Okay,
why are we talking about your oven fucking great?
We're not. We're talking about how awesome the
fucking timing is. Because we can't use it to
cook anything. Right. Cook anybody. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Well, you could fit a small person
in there. Spalding, yeah, and you. But wait a
minute, so there's still like burnt plastic in
it? No. Not really in the oven because Mary had
a fucking... Listen, are we really talking about
burnt plastic in an oven and we have all this
other shit going on right now? Well, we started
the fucking podcast on April 6th. It was 2023.
Dude, between you two. So that means we're going
on our third year. All right, man. Well, a great
literary needle's history lesson. Well, no, because
this guy always says, I got my DUI two years
ago. It took two years. And I'm like, no, it
hasn't because we haven't even been through it.
Well, we can go back to other episodes and prove
that you did say that. I'm sure all your friends
at the... dinner tomorrow fucking agree with
me that you said that my friends you're going
you idiot you're coming with us you little Jesus
you need to lay off the methadone not on that
yeah well get on it then because maybe it'll
help out yeah Balance you out, nigga. I mean,
but it doesn't look like you care. So what am
I going to do? Care about what? I don't know.
Your shirt says it all. It's the third joke we
made. No Christmas tree, Larry. No, we don't
believe that. Every time Israel kills 60 children,
we light another candle. Yeah. Actually, you
know what? I got a good idea. What? USS Liberty
Menorahs. That's a pretty good idea. Panpenny
trademark, trademark, panpenny, panpenny. Oh,
the lights went out. They went down. Did you
see that? Oh, shit, dude. That's a real good
idea. Our Jewish overlords totally shut the lights
off. Oh, man. That's hilarious. USS Liberty Menorah
is a great idea. It's because you said USS Liberty.
Why? It's an American ship. That was accidentally
bombed by our greatest ally. Accidentally. 34
servicemen died, 144 were injured. And they had
one huge American flag, and after it was shot
up, they brought out a bigger one. And then they
napalmed them, and then they torpedoed them while
they were in the water, in the Six Day War off
the Gulf of Cairo. And since they didn't die,
they ended up paying a price. USS Liberty, bitches,
never forget. Always never forget, never remember.
1967 was it? I think it was. That's the first
time that lights went out. Mm -hmm. I think it
was 68 Nate. 67 Lyndon B. Johnson I thought it
was. And Johnson didn't give a shit about him.
That's who was president of the house. Alright
so we can't go out on like this. Alright predictions
for next year. That's how we - One, okay, one
for each of us, all right? My prediction is,
I know they're probably gonna do the - The most
outrageous thing you can do. Well, no, this is
what they're really gonna do. They're gonna do
the - Oh, thanks, Larry. And it's gonna, you
know, everybody's gonna believe that it's aliens,
and they'll probably have some drones hidden
up in the holograms, shooting actual weapons
at people to really make it believable. Where
at? Well, I don't know, but some major cities...
Well, just guess. This is your prediction. This
is your Alex Jones moment. Or your... Or your
Bill Hicks. Or your William Cooper. Larry Thomas,
you gotta be more specific. All right, it's gonna
be Chicago. Nah, that's not fun. Okay, your turn.
That's where we live. I hope those aliens are
hot. See? Here we go. From real horn dogs. As
you can see the motive that's been going on here.
Prediction. What's your prediction? Well, I'm
just, I'm leading up to it. Listen, you're a
fucking blowhard, and now you're just filibusting.
Why do you rush everybody all the time? You're
filibusting now. They've been killing people
one by one, and it's not stirring the pot. People
are talking about it, but we're gonna have...
Who's been killing people? They have. Everybody.
Who's they? Muzzies. Jews, they all have them.
The CIA, the NSA, the DEA, all of them. Usually
it's the tranny killing somebody. Usually it's
the tranny killing somebody. Usually it's the
tranny killing somebody. Usually it's the tranny
killing somebody. Usually it's the tranny killing
somebody. Usually it's the tranny killing somebody.
Usually it's the tranny killing somebody. Usually
it's the tranny killing somebody. Usually it's
the tranny killing somebody. Usually it's the
tranny killing somebody. Usually it's the tranny
killing somebody. Usually it's the tranny killing
somebody. Usually it's the tranny killing somebody.
Usually it's the tranny killing somebody. Usually
it's the tranny killing somebody. Usually it's
the tranny killing somebody. Usually it's the
tranny killing somebody. Usually it's the tranny
killing somebody. Usually it's the tranny killing
somebody. Usually it's the tranny killing somebody.
Usually it's the tranny killing somebody. Usually
it's the tranny killing somebody. Usually it's
the tr And they won't even react to the thing
because they won't want to admit that Muslims
are problematic. They're not going to say it's
Muslims. They're going to show pictures of brown
people, but it's going to say white people. Do
you think these teams will be funded by the CIA?
Somebody has infiltrated them, obviously. Because
there is no way that any sovereign nation can
run within the United States without... people
being tracked and all of this shit. They were
talking about that podcast we listened to with
Josane Maxwell. She married the guy that oversaw
the whole world's shipping containers being tracked
and all of this shit, that podcast we listened
to. Like dude, this guy was like - Talk about
trafficking people. No, no, no, no. This wasn't
trafficking people, Larry. This was in real time,
they knew how many containers. We're everywhere.
We're all over the world. I understand that.
And at the same time, talk about being able to
do whatever you want. With shipping containers
and shit filled with whatever you want. Well,
my next prediction is... They were the overshoot.
Wait, I'm gonna do my next one. Okay, so... My
next prediction or my first prediction is Yeah,
yes, I'm coming out next year I gotta wait till
next year because I get more tax breaks Doing
it First of all, I think that everything that
is around us is gonna come to light that it's
all fake But we have to realize what's going
on here You have to see a pattern. Because if
you could say one event's gonna happen or one
event's gonna happen, that's gonna be the thing.
The problem is, though society's so fucking stupid,
there's gonna be a small percentage that may
realize it. The noticers, the people that see
patterns and they recognize them. And then they
can take those patterns and they perceive them
in one way than another way than a group does,
right? Because when you really think about it,
how many percentages do you think people are
lemmings in this world? Seriously, it's got to
be over 90%. Yeah, damn near. It really does.
Maybe not, though. If you talk about countries
like other people, like, say, of tribes in Africa
and other places where it's kind of off the grid,
they might not be as lemming -ish, like, say,
Amish and stuff like that. Amish aren't lemmings.
No, the Amish aren't lemmings at all. That's
what I mean. Those are the people that are not
lemmings. You know, tribes in Africa, the Amish,
people... Well, tribes in Africa, first of all...
They do what they fucking have to do. First of
all, let me tell you right now... No, no, here's
the deal. Okay. Let's look at Amish structures
compared to African structures. Let's just start
at mud hut to barn, okay? Second of all, it'd
probably take six Africans to move a mud hut.
a thousand feet to the other place where they're
gonna rape a girl. Yeah, but at the same time,
all three of us don't even equal one Indian,
fuckin' tech guy, computer -wise. Oh, what we
were talking about. Man, this kid is fuckin'
shot. Needles needs fucking help. I don't even
understand what he was talking about for a second
until I realized. You got it. You understood.
Yeah, but we were talking about it in the kitchen
before this. I thought you were talking about
like street cooking. Exactly. Guys are fucking
nuts. Oh, we're nuts now. Now the both of us
are. Here's my next prediction. Oh, boy. He's
not going to get gonorrhea this year. Actually,
you know what my prediction, my second one is
he's going to get that third tit like he's always
wanted. Like the girl in Torico. You can rub
all three of your tits at once. A boy can dream.
Larry's gonna get quadro arm extensions so we
can jerk him off. All I want is a running or
a... He's a mean motherfucka. He's a bad motherfucka.
He's called CPS, motherfucka. He's following
us and having 40 in two weeks. All right, Larry,
just come on back and just eat while we're sitting
here talking. Hey, what are you doing? Will you
stop talking, man? I didn't know you were going
to stop. Go fuck. It ain't my fault, man. Snack
him, Jones. All right, everybody lie. My second
prediction is probably there's going to be some
kind of crazy shit that goes down around here.
Mean I don't know why I don't know why you had
to say around here. Why couldn't you say somewhere?
What are you talking about? Not around here.
Not around Chicago land. Oh, okay. Something
crazy is gonna happen. Some kind of fucking scare
or some other bullshit. What do you define as
crazy? A guy going around downtown punching ladies
and getting released 30 times? A guy setting
a lady on fire? Blacks getting killed every day?
Whites getting killed? What do you define? He's
setting himself up for success. I don't know
what I'm talking about. Maybe the blacks will
get all together and grab fucking... Brandon
Johnson and drag him into the street like Mussolini
style. That would be nice. That's not gonna happen.
We all know they fucking hate us. I'm not trying
to be rude against you, I'm just saying. That
may happen. Something like that. The blacks can't
organize like that. All right, that's a good
point. That's a good point. Yeah, but they could
be all in a crowd. You know who they need? get
enraged and just go storming. I'm fucking completely
convinced that the fucking yarmulke keeps their
pedophile thoughts in their head. It doesn't
let them out until it falls off. God can see
right through those yarmulkes. Oh no, I'm an
extra normal human being. God sees right through
the yarmulke. God can see right through that
yarmulke. They don't believe in God though. Yeah,
they do. Not that God. That's true. Yeah, exactly.
You know what? First of all, religion is all
fake and gay. We all know this. You're gay and
you're cool. And let me tell you, my fucking
my guy fucking can have kids brides and my guy
says this and my guy says that. So he knows he's
going to hell. Well, how about that Jewish trafficker
that just got sent back to Israel? I told you
before, my hell. is Kiki and I on the kick -ass
pontoon boat, double -skiing, high -fiving, doing
beer bongs off of, like, devil broads with, like,
four tits, dude. They're on our shoulders, and
they got beer bongs. That's true. That's my true.
And their tongues are just licking our bums.
I'm sorry, Larry. Just trying to cook here, kid.
Yeah, yeah. And I'm just fucking trying to talk,
too. That's all. Okay. Well, go. I'm sorry. I
didn't mean to interrupt you. I'm sorry. It's
fine, man. Who's fucking saying sorry? God, fuck.
Whoa, whoa. God. Don't use the Lord's name. Yeah.
What do you think this is? Don't tell me, man.
Don't tell me. I don't need you fucking moments
telling me. That's your fucking truth. That's
what that's not. That's my interpretation. It's
a funny interpretation of me and Kiki on the
back of a pontoon boat. There's no fucking pontoon
boats in hell. There's no asses to tickle or
no fucking anything, man. Why do we have to be
so serious about what hell is, dude? I'm just
saying, man. It could be silly as shit. Hell
ain't a bad place. Hell is for weird people.
I mean, you know what hell could be? They just
put firecrackers in your pee hole for the rest
of your eternity, and it hurts every time. You'll
wish that's what it was. Huh? You'll wish that's
what it was. Not really. I don't want to wish
that at all. No, you will, man. I'm not going
there anyway. No. Oh, yeah. Dude. Where do the
polis go? To the sun? That's right. That's where
your souls go to the sun. That's right. We fight
in the sun. Oh, boy. They get burned up before
they get to hell. Does this thing collides off?
Larry's thinks he's gonna be rising up. He thinks
he's fucking Judas Priest over here. Come on,
hold on. Remember that time? He's breaking the
raw. Breaking the raw. All right. Well, Merry
Christmas to everybody. Yeah. I mean, if you're
not going to talk anymore. I don't know. I got
nothing to say, man. That's not good for a podcast.
I don't have anything to say anymore. It's like,
go to a banker and she's like, I'm not giving
you any cash anymore. Like, this is a bank. Needles
can't say Merry Christmas, because he doesn't
believe it. I can say Merry Kwanzaa, Happy Jacunica.
He doesn't believe in anything. Our religion's
fake and gay, so... It is. So any... It's been
interpreted by food. So any kind of happy well
-wishers from you is bullshit. Because when I
found a book in the desert and it said, this
dude walked on water, it's like, nigga, get the
fuck out of here. I saw it. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Are you shutting the podcast off? You're
in the middle of a conversation. This is goodbye.
Yeah, but you have to turn it off there. You're
so lazy. That's my original composition that
I wrote for this actual show. What the fuck is
going on here? If you're going to jerk off and
just turn your back on us. No, are we still going
you guys want oh, I mean, what do you do? How
far are we at Larry? Merry Christmas? Yeah, I
really 113 man. All right, Mary. You know what
Merry Christmas? Yeah, you're the fuck out of
here Yeah This is my new ghetto way to do it
Thank you for tuning in peace later