WEBVTT

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Hey, everybody. Wait, wait, stop it. Look how

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red I am. I'm peeking. You can see it right there.

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No, you're good, man. All right. Hey, everybody.

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Welcome to the Larry Needles Show. I'm Larry.

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And I'm Needles. Special guest, Donnie. Holding

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baby spalling with the Kabbalah bracelet. Oh,

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there's a Kabbalah member now. Nice. Good job,

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Spalding. I'm going to tell you right now, I

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stand shoulder to shoulder with my Lord and Savior,

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Jesus Christ, against the muzzies and the Jews.

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But you know what my Lord and Savior does not

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tolerate? Thou shall not lie. Thou shall not

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lie, Larry. We are going to get a start soon,

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though. Wait a second. Let's put a pin in that

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for a second. Oh, they're lying already. Yeah,

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they're always lying. Who's lying down here?

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Government. We're lying about what? Everything.

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What are they lying about? I mean, come on, give

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me an example. This whole world, the whole situation

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is happening to us here, all this. Very vague.

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Yeah, I know. It's when they start talking peace

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and security, peace and security, everything's

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peaceful, it's all safe, everything's fine. That's

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when we need to look out. It's like the last

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Kurt Cobain interview. That's when the shit starts

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to hit the fan. The one without the shotgun blast

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in the head. When you start talking, oh yeah,

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peace in the Middle East, everything's great,

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it's peaceful, there's no more war. No, there

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will be, there will be. And then the shit's gonna

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hit the fan just a few months after that. Peace

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in the Middle East is because we keep on fucking

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fun being in the Middle East. Right. So you're

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not dope sick anymore, huh? Oh yeah, are you

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dope sick or no? I don't know, I'm a little bit

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sick. You got right? Today, eventually he'll

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be sick soon. Yeah, but you got it right though

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before he came here. I mean, first of all, we

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should have had a lie counter up. That's what

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we should have started with. So lie number one.

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So here you want to hear something crazy. So

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I went by my fucking. Oh, obviously fat girl

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isn't here with us today because he is so retarded

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in a Polak that I texted Larry at nine o 'clock.

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I texted the boys at nine o 'clock this in the

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morning. Don in force. And I said, we're going

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to do the podcast. You're like, oh, yeah, you

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know, I'm just a fat girl. What the fuck, man?

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Just fat girling up, you know, probably eating

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pizza and fucking kissing dudes somewhere up.

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So all of a sudden, an hour before, two hours

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before, I'm ready to go. Oh shit, I got to go

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to my sister's. Fucking birthday like you don't

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know and you're a fat girl I'm calling all the

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texts at like one in the afternoon or 12 was

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like, okay everybody Just find out about your

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fucking sister's birthday party. Oh, yeah, you

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know what? Hit list He has to read fucking your

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sister's birthday, too He's got a fucking re

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-interview for the podcast fat girl Oh, okay.

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I once saw a roller yesterday and um, down fucking

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in the city. And on my way back, uh, they had,

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so 290, the heroin highway going fucking, I was

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going westbound, both, all for like at least

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seven to eight miles. And Don was going eastbound.

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No, well, yeah, he, I mean, you know, by that

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time Don was already - Could you get off at Western?

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I didn't know. I was, no, no, no, you couldn't

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because they had all the - So basically, listen

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to this, Donnie. So I was driving back last night

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and Roller lives the proximity of where the ICE

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detention center is in Chicago. So on the incoming

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side, the eastbound and the westbound sides,

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they had two fucking state troopers at every

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exit and inbound and outbound ramp. Really? Facing

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out at fucking highway side, street side, right

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where the entrance goes and then. Two at the

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top. No shit. I saw at least 50 and they were

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rushing in fucking going eastbound while I was

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driving westbound the whole fucking time. So

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basically you couldn't get down there at all.

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You couldn't get within that vicinity of a certain

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mile radius. You could not all of because. What

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if you were already on the highway and you didn't

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get off at an exit and you just kept going? You

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had to keep going. Like if I wanted. So when

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I got off at fucking where Rollers Street is,

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that was it. Like you couldn't get on, you know

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what I mean? Like they were closing, they were

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moving down and closing everything down at this

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point. As it went. Yeah. So it's like, just like

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I say, how do you like your police state, Larry?

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Cuz here it is medium. Well, yeah, because we've

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been fucking bamboozled Fears in here we got

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people to Peter teal talking about fucking yeah,

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I Christ The funniest thing is he calls fucking

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up stupid fucking he man Greta Thunberg. She's

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the fuck it. Oh, what do you call it? Um Who's

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that guy from the fucking up? She's a jolly Roger

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of Hamas on a fucking boat. Just talking bouncing

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around Israel. Yeah, you know what I mean? You

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see that Israel had to pay for all their plane

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tickets and they're complaining They want their

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money back Those plane tickets were promised

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to us 3000 years ago So they had the whole shit

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blocked off and then I was watching fucking,

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you know, obviously fucking acts and Dude, they're

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just cracking skulls. It's like the DNC all over

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here Just fucking cracking fucking hippie skulls.

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Yeah, they got big batons out there and everybody's

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like, you know They're like, oh my god, we created

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a problem for these people and now we're begging

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for a solution. Welcome to the UB State, you

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fucking dicks. This is what you get. This is

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what you're named for. Here's the thing, they're

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going after these names. They've got the names.

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What names? Of these guys you're picking up,

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the dangerous people, these... Criminals. Gang

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members. The people running in Tifa or Trans

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-Tifa. Right. And the over -the -borders, the

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border -jumpers, the illegal aliens. Well, they're

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not border -jumpers. They let them in. Well,

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either way, whatever. The illegal aliens, they're

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picking up the brown ones, for pregnant women,

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but they're not talking about getting any of

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these ones that don't know who they are. All

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the Muslims they snuck across, all the thousands

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of Chinese they snuck across. Well, how come

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they're not picking up any of them guys? No,

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they're not. No. They're going only after these

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Mexican people, which is fine, because they're

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the worst of the worst. They're gang members.

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So we ignore. No, no, no. They're gang, whatever

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they are. They're saying what they are so they

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can just concentrate on this, so we forget. about

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the other ones. Which other ones? Terror cells

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that are living here comfortably. Yes. The CIA

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and the FBI. Those are the terrorist cells. Right.

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Being funded by whatever while they make up the

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shit they're trying to protect their border again.

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Let's just start at the beginning. They're deporting

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all these people. The U .S .S. Liberty, the U

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.S .S. Cole, let's do the King... But they're

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not deporting the right... Let's do 9 -11, let's

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do Ruby Ridge, let's do Waco, Texas, let's do

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Oklahoma City... You know, they're getting all

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the gang bangers and crime committers. They're

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not getting the terrorist plotters that are going

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to be blowing up buildings and shit. All those

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things I named, who was involved in that? The

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CIA or the FBI? Right? Get off your phone. You

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can't start looking at your phone, dude. What

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are you doing? What are you doing, man? We're

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gonna fucking do it. I was gonna show you something.

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Why don't you tell our audience about what happened

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with you getting carjacked. I told the audience

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before. No, you didn't. No, you told them you

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got carjacked. Wait a minute. Wait a second.

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Wait a minute. What was it? I'm sorry. I wasn't

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carjacked. I was tranked. No, what were you doing?

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I got tranked. I took Trank and lied. Pashed

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out? No, wait, say you lied about getting...

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Well, I couldn't live with my lie. I eventually

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had to confess my lie. But did you lie about

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getting about... You told us you got carjacks.

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Yes, I did. I did. Okay, Larry, hand him the

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helmet. You have to wear this for the rest of

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the show. The liar's helmet? The liar. I'm a

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liar. I'm a lot more than that, good lord knows.

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Never mind the lies, there's plenty of other

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things, but lying is the least of it, trust me.

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Oh, for the audio listeners, you really have

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to see this at a video. I like this thing, I'm

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gonna wear it every time. You should probably

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wear it at home when you do fentanyl. I remember

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one woman said, no, they told me not to wear

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this. Yeah, you should wear it at home when you

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do fentanyl so you don't have to lie to us anymore,

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because that'll fucking black you. This fucking

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guy's doing fentanyl, lying to her, fucking breaking

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her. Look, look, they asked me, is someone beating

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you up because they come with bruises all the

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time? Yeah, myself. Are you getting beat by someone?

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She I love it. You know what? He's so blase about

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it. It makes my heart whistle. It really does.

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Like he doesn't even care. He's like, yeah, I

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lied to you guys about getting carjacked and

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told you a 30 minute story on your podcast. But

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now I'm fine, because I don't have a helmet,

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so I won't do it again. On the podcast? But you

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knew! I knew you were on drugs, but I still thought

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you got carjacked. Here's the thing. You told

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me all these details on the phone. I was tightening

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it. Look at it. And then when you came on the

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show, you had... No details, you know? Yeah,

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and all the contradictions. Because it was a

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bad lie, man. Because I'm lying junkie, what

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do you want? Oh, there we go. That's the title

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of the episode. I mean, right there. Lying junkie.

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It was a carjacking. But how could you just lie

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on your board? It was a self -tranking. Why do

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you want to admit I was on drugs? I love how

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it was a self -tranking, how he still distances

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himself from the fucking tranking. Oh, no. It

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was completely my fault, dude. So you think you

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took Trank? Well, it's a mix of drink is what

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they do now. That's what I heard on the news.

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What do you mean, man? You started believing

00:10:02.840 --> 00:10:04.580
the news all of a sudden? Well, not this one

00:10:04.580 --> 00:10:07.620
show about the drugs in other cities, but there's

00:10:07.620 --> 00:10:11.220
this trank they put in Fentanyl. Yeah. And the

00:10:11.220 --> 00:10:13.259
trank is what really makes you just go down,

00:10:13.419 --> 00:10:15.100
you know what I mean? Yeah, okay. Yeah, and I

00:10:15.100 --> 00:10:16.580
completely... Hey Larry, could you grab me a

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PBR, please? And as a matter of fact, the guy

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said I put something, another one in there for

00:10:21.940 --> 00:10:23.139
you. Why don't you try, let me know what you

00:10:23.139 --> 00:10:25.419
think. Wait a second. So the dude that you bought

00:10:25.419 --> 00:10:27.700
your dope from told you that I added other drugs

00:10:27.700 --> 00:10:30.000
that you don't go... Wait, slow down, stop. Yes,

00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:33.139
yes, yes. The African -American gentleman that

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you don't even know that just sells you drugs,

00:10:35.159 --> 00:10:36.799
which is the greatest thing ever. It's like,

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hey, we hate blacks. And it's like, hey, man,

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you got some drugs, bro. Right, right. I hate

00:10:41.580 --> 00:10:44.840
blacks. Kill whities unless you want to buy a

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fucking jab. So the African -American gentleman,

00:10:50.360 --> 00:10:51.960
let me get this straight, that you buy drugs

00:10:51.960 --> 00:10:55.120
off is like, hey, I mixed other drugs into your

00:10:55.120 --> 00:10:56.740
other drugs. No, no. He said there's another

00:10:56.740 --> 00:11:00.090
one in there. another drug like not in all the

00:11:00.090 --> 00:11:06.970
drugs another capsule there's a new stuff yeah

00:11:06.970 --> 00:11:10.029
there's something new that's your lucky there's

00:11:10.029 --> 00:11:11.649
a new one in there let me know what you think

00:11:11.649 --> 00:11:14.529
about it oh my god right and what did you do

00:11:14.529 --> 00:11:16.629
you did that one first didn't you i can't remember

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what happened until you knocked my fucking tooth

00:11:18.490 --> 00:11:24.419
out wait what I fell down and hit a stool, a

00:11:24.419 --> 00:11:26.399
bar stool in my kitchen. So this is when you

00:11:26.399 --> 00:11:28.080
were lying to us when you said you had power

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gas. And then I went forward and actually the

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force on my tooth went over. I mean you're fucking

00:11:34.820 --> 00:11:36.700
Magellan over here. The force on my whole head

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and on my tooth. Junkie tails. Junkie Magellan.

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One time I fell backwards in the bathroom with

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my head on a fucking bathtub. How do you fall

00:11:43.100 --> 00:11:46.080
backwards? Well not only do I have neuropathy

00:11:46.080 --> 00:11:49.639
in my feet so it's hard to balance. Dude, I mean.

00:11:49.740 --> 00:11:51.700
Once I start going backwards, yeah, that's it.

00:11:51.960 --> 00:11:55.000
You know, I'm going. I'm done. I'm falling. So

00:11:55.000 --> 00:11:57.480
you should probably sit down. How about that?

00:11:57.659 --> 00:12:04.740
You hit your head on the bathtub? Yeah. I'm going

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to fucking kill myself up here. It sounds like

00:12:06.980 --> 00:12:09.039
it. That's why you need the liar helmet all the

00:12:09.039 --> 00:12:11.980
time. That should be your accoutrement from now

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on. What you should wear. You should probably

00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:18.700
wear it when you drive, too. He comes out and

00:12:18.700 --> 00:12:21.840
just lies to us. Bold -faced lies about how we're

00:12:21.840 --> 00:12:25.240
fucking wrong that he's doing drugs. Oh, man.

00:12:25.919 --> 00:12:28.600
What do you mean, oh, stop? This is your tale.

00:12:28.799 --> 00:12:32.240
I'm sorry. Don't apologize. I didn't want to

00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:35.700
admit it. I should have admitted it. Yeah. You're

00:12:35.700 --> 00:12:39.460
talking to two ex -fucking friends of the program.

00:12:40.290 --> 00:12:42.029
And the best is like... And they don't call me

00:12:42.029 --> 00:12:46.850
Needles because I crochet. I get it. Believe

00:12:46.850 --> 00:12:54.190
me, I get it. You know what I mean? Not because

00:12:54.190 --> 00:13:01.190
you're Taylor. I mean, come on, dude. This fucking

00:13:01.190 --> 00:13:04.309
guy. Are you good now? Sure. You're not going

00:13:04.309 --> 00:13:07.169
to lie to us anymore? No. You're on drugs, right?

00:13:07.490 --> 00:13:14.860
No, I'm quitting. Oh yeah! No, I'm stopping.

00:13:17.159 --> 00:13:19.840
When are you going to probably? Yeah, after tonight.

00:13:20.820 --> 00:13:22.539
When are you quitting? Tomorrow. When are you

00:13:22.539 --> 00:13:26.620
quitting? Well, I have a plan. Oh, Jesus. Sorry.

00:13:26.620 --> 00:13:29.779
Well, I have a plan. Look, I do work two jobs,

00:13:29.799 --> 00:13:32.139
and they love me at these jobs. You know what

00:13:32.139 --> 00:13:35.340
makes two jobs better? Adding fucking fentanyl

00:13:35.340 --> 00:13:38.139
to them. No, it makes it worse. Dude, I'm not

00:13:38.139 --> 00:13:40.809
off at a table one day. No, shit. Oh, really?

00:13:41.409 --> 00:13:43.789
With the water pitcher in my hand? This is what

00:13:43.789 --> 00:13:46.009
we go... Dude, I'm at the table with two ladies,

00:13:46.549 --> 00:13:49.529
and I got the water pitcher, and I'm just froze.

00:13:50.950 --> 00:13:53.309
And... And they're like, son, is everything okay?

00:13:53.309 --> 00:13:55.529
Yeah, yeah, sir, sir. They saw the wolf. I'm

00:13:55.529 --> 00:13:57.029
like, oh, I'm sorry, I forgot what I was gonna

00:13:57.029 --> 00:13:58.730
ask you. Did you want something else to drink,

00:13:58.750 --> 00:14:01.330
or is water fine? Should you be wearing sandals,

00:14:01.450 --> 00:14:29.730
son, while you're surfing? I got fired from He's

00:14:29.730 --> 00:14:32.909
just like, I'm really good. I'm nodding out.

00:14:33.289 --> 00:14:37.549
First of all, you didn't even work there. I'm

00:14:37.549 --> 00:14:40.470
not even getting into this story because it's

00:14:40.470 --> 00:14:42.610
a waste of time. You're a liar, too, because

00:14:42.610 --> 00:14:45.350
of this story. You were never an employee of

00:14:45.350 --> 00:14:47.669
Hot Bellies. You just played acoustic guitar.

00:14:49.710 --> 00:14:53.879
You're not an employee. Yeah, coming from the

00:14:53.879 --> 00:14:55.820
liar. When I got fired, it was... He should be

00:14:55.820 --> 00:14:58.059
your attorney. It was from the, uh... Pop Belly's

00:14:58.059 --> 00:15:00.679
Corporation. Yeah, it was from... My checks were

00:15:00.679 --> 00:15:02.659
from Pop Belly's and I got fired from the manager.

00:15:02.659 --> 00:15:04.980
So you were paying taxes? Yeah, you were getting

00:15:04.980 --> 00:15:07.559
two ages. You were retarded. How much were the

00:15:07.559 --> 00:15:12.659
checks for? 25 bucks? No, 25 bucks an hour, so

00:15:12.659 --> 00:15:15.779
I would play about seven hours a day. Okay. Holy

00:15:15.779 --> 00:15:18.139
shit. So that's, I mean, that's let's say 6,

00:15:18.139 --> 00:15:21.220
1500, something around that. Wait, whoa. Yeah,

00:15:21.299 --> 00:15:23.840
that's a good game, dude. And then you got fired

00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:25.659
for not enough, didn't you? No, no, no, no. Okay,

00:15:25.820 --> 00:15:27.799
yeah, my bad. Not 1 ,500. Shrieks are on the

00:15:27.799 --> 00:15:30.659
job. You couldn't put a tape and pretend you

00:15:30.659 --> 00:15:32.539
were there. It worked for me, man. And it was

00:15:32.539 --> 00:15:35.419
fun. I love it. Two heroin addicts fucking defending

00:15:35.419 --> 00:15:37.779
each other about how great they are. There was

00:15:37.779 --> 00:15:39.740
a kid there. I can't remember his name, but we

00:15:39.740 --> 00:15:43.240
would go back to his house and do dope. He was

00:15:43.240 --> 00:15:45.440
like, hey, man, you party? And I'm like, yeah,

00:15:45.480 --> 00:15:48.120
I do. Of course I do. I play guitar and pop belt.

00:15:48.659 --> 00:15:53.340
He had a fucking gay boy party. No, no. He needed

00:15:53.340 --> 00:15:57.720
to ride home one day. So I drive him home and

00:15:57.720 --> 00:15:59.620
fuck him. And he's like, hey, you want to get

00:15:59.620 --> 00:16:01.659
high? And I'm like, yeah, dude. I love how we

00:16:01.659 --> 00:16:03.940
tried to do it. Bro, you party? He said, hey,

00:16:03.940 --> 00:16:06.620
you get high. And I'm like, yes, I do. And so

00:16:06.620 --> 00:16:09.220
he fucking gets high. What, yes, I do. So now

00:16:09.220 --> 00:16:10.759
I'm like, shit, now this kid knows I'm high.

00:16:10.759 --> 00:16:12.480
And he's like, man, how high is that bathtub,

00:16:12.659 --> 00:16:16.740
Phil? They both get in. That's your fucking thing.

00:16:18.279 --> 00:16:25.490
You know how Larry's lying when he laughs? That's

00:16:25.490 --> 00:16:27.250
all right, dude. Game for pay ain't bad, man.

00:16:27.330 --> 00:16:30.029
Especially good dope. Dude, man, I didn't have

00:16:30.029 --> 00:16:32.330
to give any game for pay. And here's the thing.

00:16:32.350 --> 00:16:35.169
All I had to do, and what I did, was I played

00:16:35.169 --> 00:16:38.889
a different fucking thing. For a solid week straight,

00:16:38.929 --> 00:16:43.629
I didn't fucking repeat myself once. Nice. And

00:16:43.629 --> 00:16:46.529
all I had to also do was make the kids at work

00:16:46.529 --> 00:16:49.210
that pot bellies happy. Your lighter, not your

00:16:49.210 --> 00:16:52.049
phone, dude. Hey, can you play this? Hey, can

00:16:52.049 --> 00:16:57.080
you play that? You guys already stole my later

00:16:57.080 --> 00:17:01.019
come on Mark Larry probably has it come on, dude.

00:17:01.019 --> 00:17:03.720
Here it is. Oh, why hang it? I gotta beat yourself

00:17:03.720 --> 00:17:06.160
with anything in there. I do feel safer with

00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:26.650
this helmet on What's that? I love Donnie and

00:17:26.650 --> 00:17:28.250
Force more than anything. I said they got me

00:17:28.250 --> 00:17:28.990
in the helmet. There's nothing more than you

00:17:28.990 --> 00:17:31.130
can have in your life than a person that is addicted

00:17:31.130 --> 00:17:32.809
to drugs and trying to get them off of drugs

00:17:32.809 --> 00:17:35.269
if they don't want to do it. Larry didn't want

00:17:35.269 --> 00:17:36.970
to do it, I didn't want to do it, I love Larry,

00:17:37.009 --> 00:17:38.089
Larry helped me out. I did want to do it though.

00:17:38.089 --> 00:17:40.049
But Larry helped me out, I helped Larry out,

00:17:40.190 --> 00:17:42.650
we fucking got out of that shit. Donnie and Force

00:17:42.650 --> 00:17:44.950
is in the fucking midst of shit and we're gonna

00:17:44.950 --> 00:17:46.549
rip the fuck out of them for doing it because

00:17:46.549 --> 00:17:49.089
that's all we can do. And the funny thing is

00:17:49.089 --> 00:17:53.690
years ago when Mark didn't even party, He would

00:17:53.690 --> 00:17:55.049
fucking scream at me. Now we're using first names

00:17:55.049 --> 00:17:57.650
now, right? Wow. Yeah, okay. That's how serious

00:17:57.650 --> 00:18:00.589
we got. Well, he would be like, oh, what are

00:18:00.589 --> 00:18:02.490
you doing? What are you doing? You know, and

00:18:02.490 --> 00:18:04.549
I'd be like, don't worry, man. Know what I'm

00:18:04.549 --> 00:18:07.410
doing, dude. And fucking, you know, like a total

00:18:07.410 --> 00:18:12.720
junkie. And then I tried getting clean, and then

00:18:12.720 --> 00:18:15.059
all of a sudden I find out he's partying and

00:18:15.059 --> 00:18:17.180
he's hanging around with John and shit. Okay,

00:18:17.220 --> 00:18:19.119
well, I mean, his name's in it. You know what

00:18:19.119 --> 00:18:20.920
I mean? First of all, listen, the fucking problem

00:18:20.920 --> 00:18:23.200
is that they started us off on fucking pills.

00:18:23.640 --> 00:18:26.359
Fuck you, the Sackler family. Got all us into

00:18:26.359 --> 00:18:28.220
that shit. And then, but before that, we were

00:18:28.220 --> 00:18:31.640
even into, I was into stuff before Oxy's came

00:18:31.640 --> 00:18:33.119
around. Of course you were. Needles was sniffing

00:18:33.119 --> 00:18:37.339
glue since he was born. We used to leave high

00:18:37.339 --> 00:18:39.670
school. and drive down to the city to go cop

00:18:39.670 --> 00:18:41.690
and then bring it back to everybody. During lunch,

00:18:42.769 --> 00:18:45.329
bam, bam, we'd make it back in fucking hour,

00:18:45.650 --> 00:18:47.750
hour 15. You just knocked the cherry off of that.

00:18:47.750 --> 00:18:52.480
No, no, because it was not lighting right. Needles

00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:55.680
was fucking criticizing my joints earlier before

00:18:55.680 --> 00:18:58.880
the show started, and obviously I'm an expert

00:18:58.880 --> 00:19:00.740
joint roller, but I just kept my mouth shut.

00:19:00.759 --> 00:19:02.319
First of all, people that are experts with joint

00:19:02.319 --> 00:19:04.079
rollers don't say they're experts. No, I'm just

00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:05.839
saying. Just like you were like, I'm so smart.

00:19:06.220 --> 00:19:08.299
Fucking people going to Einstein because you're

00:19:08.299 --> 00:19:10.059
Einstein all of a sudden. Well, I can say that.

00:19:10.180 --> 00:19:12.420
Look, Einstein's like, I'm so smart. No, my name

00:19:12.420 --> 00:19:14.880
is Larry, and I'm fucking smart as balls. No,

00:19:14.960 --> 00:19:16.779
suck it, dude. Here's the thing. Piss off, you

00:19:16.779 --> 00:19:19.220
homo. You say it to them when you can't fucking

00:19:19.220 --> 00:19:22.480
hand them a joint. You tell them. You obviously

00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:24.720
know I roll amazing fucking joints. You don't

00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:26.539
roll amazing joints, they've been fucking tight

00:19:26.539 --> 00:19:28.400
as balls the last time. It's like you're hanging

00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:31.640
on Boys Town again. Here, this is not a bad joint.

00:19:31.700 --> 00:19:34.559
This sucks. Get them, oh okay, look at that.

00:19:34.859 --> 00:19:36.859
I should slap you. Hey, while you're down there,

00:19:37.039 --> 00:19:40.420
come here and service me, you hobo. Fuck, Don

00:19:40.420 --> 00:19:43.130
Anforth, what are you doing in there? He's probably

00:19:43.130 --> 00:19:46.950
getting high. He probably is. This is what junkies

00:19:46.950 --> 00:19:48.950
do. They go in your bathroom, and they don't

00:19:48.950 --> 00:19:51.269
come out for a long time. You're like, what the

00:19:51.269 --> 00:19:53.069
fuck? And then you don't want to keep the door

00:19:53.069 --> 00:19:55.750
down because you own the door. Yeah. I love how

00:19:55.750 --> 00:19:58.089
he pissed at the lighter. You shouldn't lock

00:19:58.089 --> 00:20:00.390
him anymore, man. Yeah, stop locking the door.

00:20:01.049 --> 00:20:04.890
So I don't have to break down my door. Oh, man.

00:20:05.660 --> 00:20:07.619
We're getting high in the bathroom? All of a

00:20:07.619 --> 00:20:09.500
sudden, we're going to start believing you now.

00:20:09.660 --> 00:20:12.599
Oh, god. Oh, and you get mad because we don't

00:20:12.599 --> 00:20:14.380
believe you. No, you're like, you should believe

00:20:14.380 --> 00:20:16.359
me. Exactly. Then we go, holy shit, you had an

00:20:16.359 --> 00:20:19.400
epiphany, fucking weirdo. I know. Well, I don't

00:20:19.400 --> 00:20:22.359
know, man. I might, like, after Tuesday. What

00:20:22.359 --> 00:20:24.960
are you going to do, move to Africa? No, uh,

00:20:25.059 --> 00:20:26.559
no. That'd be great. Yeah, that's what we want

00:20:26.559 --> 00:20:28.099
to do. We got to take a very tight fire there

00:20:28.099 --> 00:20:30.140
and do something in my car, you know, but somebody

00:20:30.140 --> 00:20:33.059
will take my key five or something. Wait, what?

00:20:33.470 --> 00:20:35.710
the car keys from me so I don't drive my car

00:20:35.710 --> 00:20:37.369
and I can just say I don't want to be sick for

00:20:37.369 --> 00:20:44.069
a week or two. That ain't gonna happen. Did you

00:20:44.069 --> 00:20:46.809
hear that long pause of silence like we really

00:20:46.809 --> 00:20:48.869
have nothing to say about that because it ain't

00:20:48.869 --> 00:20:50.869
gonna work somebody's gonna You know what you

00:20:50.869 --> 00:21:13.109
can walk you can uber You can't even get ashamed

00:21:13.109 --> 00:21:15.589
from what you've done. I can't stop lying. You

00:21:15.589 --> 00:21:19.130
can't stop lying. The only way to do it is to

00:21:19.130 --> 00:21:21.490
get the numbers out of your phone. Yep exactly.

00:21:21.609 --> 00:21:24.890
No it's not. But not really. You've been stopped.

00:21:25.390 --> 00:21:27.250
Listen, if he don't want to quit, he ain't gonna

00:21:27.250 --> 00:21:28.750
quit. Right, you always want to quit. If you're

00:21:28.750 --> 00:21:30.549
getting rid of numbers, guess what he's gonna

00:21:30.549 --> 00:21:32.910
find you. Yeah, and these guys always call back

00:21:32.910 --> 00:21:35.809
anyways. Listen dude, listen, I was homeless.

00:21:35.970 --> 00:21:36.990
I know what the fuck it's like. He'll get rid

00:21:36.990 --> 00:21:38.789
of the number when they call back if you're like,

00:21:38.849 --> 00:21:44.009
oh thank god. I used to boost the batteries and

00:21:44.009 --> 00:21:46.309
then go to Humboldt Park and fucking sing. You

00:21:46.309 --> 00:21:47.890
know what I mean? I used to see these people

00:21:47.890 --> 00:21:49.509
on the street, man. I'm gonna wind up just like

00:21:49.509 --> 00:21:52.230
these guys, man. Yeah. And nowhere to go to boost

00:21:52.230 --> 00:21:54.069
it and fucking keep going and going and going

00:21:54.069 --> 00:21:56.089
and going and guess what? You know, thank God,

00:21:56.089 --> 00:21:58.630
man. Guess what? This PBR is delicious. It is,

00:21:58.650 --> 00:22:01.609
really. Cheers to PBR. I might be drinking, but

00:22:01.609 --> 00:22:03.930
I ain't doing dope. Oh, I can't believe you guys

00:22:03.930 --> 00:22:06.470
are having alcohol. Oh, you can't believe we're

00:22:06.470 --> 00:22:08.769
having alcohol. It's so dangerous. From a guy

00:22:08.769 --> 00:22:11.390
who's an African -American drug dealer who's

00:22:11.390 --> 00:22:13.910
like, hey, I threw a mystery pill into your bag.

00:22:14.430 --> 00:22:16.390
You don't know which way it's this one. And you

00:22:16.390 --> 00:22:18.490
know he got so high, he didn't remember which

00:22:18.490 --> 00:22:20.710
one it was. Well, it's the one that's glowing.

00:22:21.710 --> 00:22:24.150
How did you know the difference? Was one of them

00:22:24.150 --> 00:22:26.529
in a drastically different color? Did he mark

00:22:26.529 --> 00:22:28.630
it? Did he say anything? Yeah. It was a real

00:22:28.630 --> 00:22:35.220
smaller size pill. That's how I know it. This

00:22:35.220 --> 00:22:38.420
one will kill you half the time. This might be

00:22:38.420 --> 00:22:41.259
the one he was talking about. I'll put that one

00:22:41.259 --> 00:22:42.839
in my eyeball. Which I know which one you're

00:22:42.839 --> 00:22:45.440
talking about, the little guys. Yeah, they got

00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:49.099
the fucking baby pill. Which is not good. If

00:22:49.099 --> 00:22:51.519
you're fucking buying anything, because they

00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:53.660
do the horse pills, they do the little guys.

00:22:54.059 --> 00:22:57.740
Yo, I got dubs. Hey, you know what? I used to

00:22:57.740 --> 00:23:00.500
love those little pills so much, man. So I know

00:23:00.500 --> 00:23:02.539
where you're coming from, but this shit now is

00:23:02.539 --> 00:23:28.079
so bad grow fucking, what do you call it, corn

00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:30.359
and all these unsustainable crap that they can

00:23:30.359 --> 00:23:32.920
get more money for fucking heroin. And then we

00:23:32.920 --> 00:23:34.819
let the pharmaceutical companies come in from

00:23:34.819 --> 00:23:37.680
America. Yeah, someone's making a bunch of money

00:23:37.680 --> 00:23:40.480
off the criminal. When I was 17 years old, 18

00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:42.319
years old, I played hockey, they gave me fucking

00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:45.319
a script of fucking axes, like 30 -milligram

00:23:45.319 --> 00:23:48.359
axes, like 60 of them. Wow, you heard yourself

00:23:48.359 --> 00:23:51.359
playing hockey? Yeah, I got butted. Yeah, you

00:23:51.359 --> 00:23:53.720
could pass that shit out like crazy. What's that?

00:23:54.359 --> 00:23:56.420
Oh no, I was already in my shit by that time.

00:23:56.420 --> 00:23:59.619
Oh, so you already knew. No, no, but I was doing

00:23:59.619 --> 00:24:02.339
street drugs and then I got pharmaceuticals.

00:24:02.599 --> 00:24:03.480
You never did Oxy's before? What's that? You

00:24:03.480 --> 00:24:04.960
didn't do Oxy's? I don't like it. I didn't like

00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:07.000
them. They weren't right. Oh man, I love them.

00:24:07.140 --> 00:24:09.079
Remember that Lori chick I used to go out with?

00:24:09.180 --> 00:24:11.839
Hope's old girlfriend, remember? I had real bad

00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:14.420
wisdom teeth problems. Liar! Bad, bad, bad wisdom

00:24:14.420 --> 00:24:17.359
teeth problems. He's a liar! And we went, finally

00:24:17.359 --> 00:24:20.339
it got so bad we called some... Quack dentist

00:24:20.339 --> 00:24:23.099
in Carroll Street strip centers and woman. Yeah,

00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:25.359
who was really nice. I can't imagine you were

00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:27.799
gonna call a quack She was really nice. We're

00:24:27.799 --> 00:24:30.059
gonna do all of them for 400 bucks. You see we

00:24:30.059 --> 00:24:34.279
had And we had to get there real early in the

00:24:34.279 --> 00:24:40.200
morning. Yeah Give me a bunch of prescriptions

00:24:40.200 --> 00:24:42.480
for antibiotics and shit. So naturally they felt

00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:45.960
better but one of the prescriptions Lord, it

00:24:45.960 --> 00:24:48.900
was it was a lot of money, but Lori took it and

00:24:48.900 --> 00:24:51.759
kept it. So give me that, you dumbass. Yes, because

00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:54.740
it was ox cheese. Yeah, it was ox cheese. And

00:24:54.740 --> 00:24:57.740
then you had to fight her for three weeks. Yeah,

00:24:57.799 --> 00:24:59.700
she took it for herself. And then she told me

00:24:59.700 --> 00:25:01.980
she was hot, man. She was hot, man. She was good

00:25:01.980 --> 00:25:05.019
-looking punk rock. Waving coke out of her. And

00:25:05.019 --> 00:25:07.579
a pill addict, too. Yeah, anyway. She had the

00:25:07.579 --> 00:25:09.859
look, though, you know? She had the looky hair

00:25:09.859 --> 00:25:13.420
and a good body. I'm just saying, she was pretty

00:25:13.420 --> 00:25:14.200
cool. The last thing I wanted was a chick. Mark

00:25:14.200 --> 00:25:18.269
was very abusive. No, he gets beat up. I don't

00:25:18.269 --> 00:25:19.730
know what went on. We've talked about this before

00:25:19.730 --> 00:25:22.210
on the podcast. If you listen to our earlier

00:25:22.210 --> 00:25:25.289
podcast, he, just like, just like Donnie Anforth,

00:25:25.329 --> 00:25:28.509
I'm a survivor. We're both survivors, Donnie

00:25:28.509 --> 00:25:32.730
Anforth. We both survived domestic assault. Yeah.

00:25:33.970 --> 00:25:36.609
Not on paper. And with the police report. Right.

00:25:36.869 --> 00:25:39.849
She just mentally abused me, but. Not physically?

00:25:40.869 --> 00:25:45.910
No, not her, no. Not the other one. It's so hot

00:25:45.910 --> 00:25:48.990
guys everybody will just hit on it. Is this on

00:25:48.990 --> 00:25:51.190
the dispensary? I don't know if I want to smoke

00:25:51.190 --> 00:25:53.410
that though. You couldn't blame the chip. It's

00:25:53.410 --> 00:25:56.670
too damn hot. You're right. Should we smoke some

00:25:56.670 --> 00:25:58.940
of this? Let's get started. It's good stuff.

00:25:59.059 --> 00:26:01.160
So now you just listen. You're like, yeah, OK.

00:26:01.319 --> 00:26:03.420
I said, maybe that's because it's George Soros

00:26:03.420 --> 00:26:04.839
weed. And you're like, yeah, that's probably

00:26:04.839 --> 00:26:06.980
a good idea. And then you ask the guy with the

00:26:06.980 --> 00:26:10.579
liar helmet on. Should we smoke this stuff? And

00:26:10.579 --> 00:26:13.180
you're like, yeah, it's good. Actually, I was

00:26:13.180 --> 00:26:15.579
under my car trip on it this morning. That's

00:26:15.579 --> 00:26:17.539
a lot of weed there, Larry. How long have you

00:26:17.539 --> 00:26:19.460
been there for? I mean, really? We'll hear then.

00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:21.519
It's good weed. You smoke it. I said, that's

00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:24.859
a lot. Not good. This has got, I think it's 39

00:26:24.859 --> 00:26:27.400
% THC. I don't know what that means. That's fake.

00:26:28.089 --> 00:26:31.750
39 % TA, TA. It's like saying fucking Israel

00:26:31.750 --> 00:26:33.789
should have its own country. Well, I don't know.

00:26:34.549 --> 00:26:37.630
When the one says 22 % and I take it, it doesn't

00:26:37.630 --> 00:26:40.150
work for me. When the one says 39 % and I take

00:26:40.150 --> 00:26:42.269
it, I get high as shit. I think that's all fucking.

00:26:43.009 --> 00:26:46.309
It must be psychosomatic. Not Pavlovian shit,

00:26:46.809 --> 00:26:50.589
but what's that called? The placebo effect. Yeah.

00:26:50.710 --> 00:27:15.799
39 % TA. Gaslighting. Why are you admitting this?

00:27:16.460 --> 00:27:20.490
Because they didn't die They just OD'd. Yeah.

00:27:20.589 --> 00:27:22.430
Oh, that's great. I mean, you know what I mean?

00:27:22.630 --> 00:27:25.470
Because that's what Jesus wants you to do. OD

00:27:25.470 --> 00:27:27.410
your friends. Oh, my God. Isn't that like the

00:27:27.410 --> 00:27:30.750
12th Commandment? I saw this thing last night.

00:27:31.089 --> 00:27:32.710
I'll send it to you. Oh, boy. Here we go. Nephilim

00:27:32.710 --> 00:27:34.809
Giants. No, the guy that's the editor of one

00:27:34.809 --> 00:27:38.450
of those big gossip magazines that exposes everything.

00:27:38.450 --> 00:27:41.569
Oh, we forgot to do our fucking segment. And

00:27:41.569 --> 00:27:43.269
he had this drug dude on. They talk about every

00:27:43.269 --> 00:27:45.890
single drug. Inquiry. Where they come from. No,

00:27:45.890 --> 00:27:49.460
the other one, the online one. Real popular.

00:27:49.980 --> 00:27:53.640
Not the onion. Babylon bean? No, no, no. TMZ?

00:27:54.019 --> 00:27:55.680
No, not TMZ. The other one. I mean, dude, come

00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:57.359
on, man. What the fuck? There's one more. There's

00:27:57.359 --> 00:28:01.660
one more. Okay, yeah. All right. Just tell the

00:28:01.660 --> 00:28:03.440
story. Anyways, they were talking about all the

00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:05.440
drugs, all these different drugs, like Molly

00:28:05.440 --> 00:28:06.859
and shit, and a lot of them, they don't even

00:28:06.859 --> 00:28:09.140
know where they came from, or these scientists

00:28:09.140 --> 00:28:11.599
made them, and things like ketamine. Ketamine

00:28:11.599 --> 00:28:15.710
actually comes from PCP. It's a tone down for

00:28:15.710 --> 00:28:21.150
a PCP. The PCP, not only did it make me crazy,

00:28:21.269 --> 00:28:24.230
but it lasted a long time. That was the problem

00:28:24.230 --> 00:28:47.299
with the PCP. And the guy that runs your magazine,

00:28:47.559 --> 00:28:49.960
he looked like he'd done all kinds of drugs.

00:28:50.160 --> 00:28:56.440
The Don rolls great joints. You see a lot of

00:28:56.440 --> 00:28:58.220
illegals by your house, Don Anforth, are you

00:28:58.220 --> 00:28:59.940
going to lie about that too? Hard to say if they're

00:28:59.940 --> 00:29:01.839
illegals, but a lot of Mexicans, that's for sure.

00:29:02.480 --> 00:29:05.339
I tell you what, I don't see anymore cars with

00:29:05.339 --> 00:29:07.789
Mexican flags on them. There's be tons of them

00:29:07.789 --> 00:29:10.670
around there. No, no, no. That's because Mexican

00:29:10.670 --> 00:29:12.769
Independence Day is over. They had them going

00:29:12.769 --> 00:29:15.250
out. Before that, they had them on there. No,

00:29:15.390 --> 00:29:17.470
but they had them going out. They don't want

00:29:17.470 --> 00:29:19.150
to show their shit. But now there's not nearly

00:29:19.150 --> 00:29:20.990
as many. I saw a video from Cicero where they

00:29:20.990 --> 00:29:25.390
were the... DHS or whatever, was using like a

00:29:25.390 --> 00:29:27.670
car, they had a Mexican flag on it, and they

00:29:27.670 --> 00:29:30.109
drove up by Home Depot, and they just jumped

00:29:30.109 --> 00:29:34.569
out and grabbed something. This is Orwellian

00:29:34.569 --> 00:29:36.730
fucking bullshit with the fucking government,

00:29:36.930 --> 00:29:38.789
man. We're being taken over. They want to take

00:29:38.789 --> 00:29:41.210
all our rights. Like I say, check into Loosh,

00:29:41.289 --> 00:29:43.309
look at your Loosh, and look what they're fucking

00:29:43.309 --> 00:29:47.349
doing to you, man. What the fuck does that mean,

00:29:47.390 --> 00:29:49.849
that Loosh thing? The Loosh is what your body

00:29:49.849 --> 00:29:53.579
fucking exudes. aura except not like hippie shit

00:29:53.579 --> 00:29:55.819
you know what I mean when fucking something bad

00:29:55.819 --> 00:29:58.359
happens you give off a loose loose when something

00:29:58.359 --> 00:30:01.420
good happens all these feelings get off of what

00:30:01.420 --> 00:30:03.660
is this new and that's what this dark from though

00:30:03.660 --> 00:30:06.579
state lives off of where does this come from

00:30:06.579 --> 00:30:10.740
that was gonna free the side make your religion

00:30:10.740 --> 00:30:14.180
is a loose from no noosh is what your body exudes

00:30:14.180 --> 00:30:22.579
when yeah that's a name during stress, during

00:30:22.579 --> 00:30:24.380
wrong, during pain. Is it a liquid or is it a

00:30:24.380 --> 00:30:26.359
light? No, it's like an aura. Like a pheromone?

00:30:26.440 --> 00:30:28.880
It's like an aura. Do you remember when you were

00:30:28.880 --> 00:30:30.539
a little baby, you could see colors around people?

00:30:30.779 --> 00:30:33.539
I mean, think about it. You're nuts. Listen,

00:30:34.059 --> 00:30:36.420
we're batteries. I used to be able to see people's,

00:30:36.660 --> 00:30:38.240
the color around them, if it was good or bad.

00:30:38.380 --> 00:30:41.839
Yeah. More junkies. What happened when you looked

00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:45.019
in the mirror? You know what? Good question.

00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:47.079
I never even thought about that. Hey, listen.

00:30:47.259 --> 00:30:51.099
So you had no alright at all. Even worse. Yes!

00:30:51.400 --> 00:30:53.339
Like when my grandmother came into the room,

00:30:53.480 --> 00:30:55.839
it was like a happy, glowing color. I mean, so

00:30:55.839 --> 00:30:58.240
hard with the liar. Right. And when there was

00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:01.200
someone else I liked, you know, yeah. Larry keeps

00:31:01.200 --> 00:31:03.119
on looking at your face and I keep on seeing

00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:07.759
the liar. Well, I thought I could. I mean, I

00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:10.960
was. You were what? Seeing colors around people.

00:31:11.240 --> 00:31:13.559
Auras. I could see people's auras. And were they

00:31:13.559 --> 00:31:15.359
all good or bad? I was four years old. I could

00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:17.259
tell if they were good or bad. And I could tell

00:31:17.259 --> 00:31:18.359
if people were good or bad. And what did you

00:31:18.359 --> 00:31:20.690
come up with? How did you help him? I didn't

00:31:20.690 --> 00:31:24.750
help, I was four years old. He's like, you're

00:31:24.750 --> 00:31:27.210
bad. No, I couldn't do anything, but I knew he

00:31:27.210 --> 00:31:29.450
was still there. Not talking to that person.

00:31:30.089 --> 00:31:33.190
Well, I'll tell you what, he grew out of seeing

00:31:33.190 --> 00:31:35.450
people's auras. I'll tell you what, when I was

00:31:35.450 --> 00:31:42.029
a kid, who I was afraid of was Big Tim, Timmy

00:31:42.029 --> 00:31:46.460
and Peter's dad, his dad. Okay, seeing him in

00:31:46.460 --> 00:31:49.200
a family party was downright frightening and

00:31:49.200 --> 00:31:52.740
fucking he looked like the typical like picture

00:31:52.740 --> 00:31:56.180
of the devil you'd seen The guy with his hair

00:31:56.180 --> 00:32:00.059
slicked back. His suit was burgundy. Yeah, he

00:32:00.059 --> 00:32:02.819
was a CIA agent. You know what I mean? It was

00:32:02.819 --> 00:32:05.819
a burgundy suit. It was like reddish, devilish.

00:32:08.779 --> 00:32:11.779
He was in the CIA just like the person after

00:32:11.779 --> 00:32:14.279
him. He was just like a fucking scary dude who

00:32:14.279 --> 00:32:17.319
was mean to kids. You're not going to tell me

00:32:17.319 --> 00:32:22.279
that BT... Was not in the CIA or he told us FBI

00:32:22.279 --> 00:32:25.640
motherfucker I'm just finishing my sentence.

00:32:25.640 --> 00:32:29.480
Who's in the FBI? Guy we're talking about son

00:32:29.480 --> 00:32:35.519
Whatever I fucking Peter and Timmy's father's

00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:37.940
dad. Oh, well then there we go. That's fine.

00:32:37.940 --> 00:32:40.099
If we want to keep on naming names That's cool.

00:32:40.480 --> 00:32:43.900
I mean cuz that's what Larry is notorious for.

00:32:43.980 --> 00:32:48.819
He was an FBI guy? No That's what he said No.

00:32:49.460 --> 00:32:52.019
He had a lot of kids and he was just like kind

00:32:52.019 --> 00:32:55.039
of a mean guy and had parties when I was a young

00:32:55.039 --> 00:32:58.839
kid. He was frightening to me. He looked like

00:32:58.839 --> 00:33:01.339
the devil. You know what I mean? And he always

00:33:01.339 --> 00:33:05.220
wore the same like red, reddish maroon tweed

00:33:05.220 --> 00:33:08.500
suit. You told us that so then down here, so

00:33:08.500 --> 00:33:11.099
there's no police presence down in your area?

00:33:11.299 --> 00:33:13.920
Nothing at all? No, we did hear as we heard it,

00:33:13.960 --> 00:33:17.160
there was a ice rage going on down the street.

00:33:18.079 --> 00:33:21.299
I'm on the move. The guy who carjacked you. And

00:33:21.299 --> 00:33:24.700
my boss will sit in there. Well, if the boss

00:33:24.700 --> 00:33:26.900
comes up, I'll just lock the door. I'm like,

00:33:26.980 --> 00:33:28.920
so they're going to come up to your front door,

00:33:29.559 --> 00:33:31.619
and you're going to lock it. This is all like

00:33:31.619 --> 00:33:33.940
some Donnie and Ford thing. When you stand at

00:33:33.940 --> 00:33:36.039
your glass front door, you're going to lock it

00:33:36.039 --> 00:33:39.140
on them. You go, should I do both sets or just

00:33:39.140 --> 00:33:40.819
the one? And I'm like, if you want to get them

00:33:40.819 --> 00:33:43.380
broken, how many doors do you want broken? Yeah,

00:33:43.380 --> 00:33:44.940
leave them open. If they're coming for you, just

00:33:44.940 --> 00:33:48.359
leave them open. You know what I mean? If they're

00:33:48.359 --> 00:33:49.819
coming to fucking get you, they're coming to

00:33:49.819 --> 00:33:50.599
get you. I'm like, what are you going to tell

00:33:50.599 --> 00:33:52.700
them? They can't have your Mexicans? I was in

00:33:52.700 --> 00:33:54.660
a trap house once that was raided. And let me

00:33:54.660 --> 00:33:56.140
tell you, they're going to come the fuck in.

00:33:56.339 --> 00:33:58.119
Right. Back side, top. They're going to come

00:33:58.119 --> 00:33:59.660
through the wall. They got dogs. They're going

00:33:59.660 --> 00:34:02.339
to get you. Listen, they got drones. They're

00:34:02.339 --> 00:34:03.759
going to take your hands up in the air and try

00:34:03.759 --> 00:34:09.329
not to get shot. Here's the other thing. The

00:34:09.329 --> 00:34:12.769
guy has no hiding spots for his illegals. Who

00:34:12.769 --> 00:34:16.489
does? My guy. Yeah, nothing. No place to put

00:34:16.489 --> 00:34:19.829
them. What do you mean? I mean, they can try

00:34:19.829 --> 00:34:22.010
to put them in pizza ovens, but it's hot in there.

00:34:22.650 --> 00:34:24.389
So you got illegals working at your fucking...

00:34:24.389 --> 00:34:28.489
I'm not sure. One, for one, for sure. Okay, one's

00:34:28.489 --> 00:34:30.429
okay. Right. I'll give them. The rest are all

00:34:30.429 --> 00:34:32.070
pretty good. And we only killed a couple of people.

00:34:32.329 --> 00:34:34.150
I mean, how many times a rape has he fucking

00:34:34.150 --> 00:34:37.969
been connected? I don't know. Non -family? Right,

00:34:38.010 --> 00:34:40.369
right, right. Well, I mean, incest is a completely

00:34:40.369 --> 00:34:42.449
different fucking, I mean. Yeah, that usually

00:34:42.449 --> 00:34:43.969
doesn't get reported. That gives you like nine

00:34:43.969 --> 00:34:48.739
or six stars in Guatemala, so. Oh my God. What?

00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:51.159
It's disgusting. Yeah, well, I mean, what are

00:34:51.159 --> 00:34:53.360
you going to do about it? It fucking ends. Listen,

00:34:53.820 --> 00:34:55.840
right now, people think that we're the fucking

00:34:55.840 --> 00:34:58.179
worst people in the world. Americans and this

00:34:58.179 --> 00:35:01.980
fucking shit. We are the most docile faggots

00:35:01.980 --> 00:35:05.320
in the world. We're the fucking Ugandans, or

00:35:05.320 --> 00:35:07.739
Libyans, or fucking Syrians. It's hard living,

00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:10.460
my friend. We're in a gay ass country. Yes, sir.

00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:14.690
Oh, dude. First of all, for being white. He'll

00:35:14.690 --> 00:35:17.130
kill you in some places. Number two, for being

00:35:17.130 --> 00:35:21.050
Christian. You know what I mean? The number three

00:35:21.050 --> 00:35:23.650
is fucking not trying to conform to their fucking

00:35:23.650 --> 00:35:27.269
shit. I'm telling you, we need the Jews to take

00:35:27.269 --> 00:35:30.710
the muzzies out. You fill in the rest of that.

00:35:30.869 --> 00:35:34.429
Yeah, that would be great, but... Maybe y 'all

00:35:34.429 --> 00:35:38.570
at home could email us or something, direct message

00:35:38.570 --> 00:35:40.849
us. About what? Someone take out the Jews and

00:35:40.849 --> 00:35:43.449
the Muslims. We need to get all of it gone. The

00:35:43.449 --> 00:35:44.809
Jews and the Muslims all have to go. I can't

00:35:44.809 --> 00:35:47.130
do it all at once. Now you sound like Hitler.

00:35:47.429 --> 00:35:48.989
I mean, calm down, there are, right? There are

00:35:48.989 --> 00:35:51.050
a lot of them. You and fucking Himmler and fucking...

00:35:51.050 --> 00:35:55.059
The Jews and the Muslims. Hot here. Huh? Man,

00:35:55.119 --> 00:35:56.840
it cracks me up how little people know about

00:35:56.840 --> 00:35:59.219
these Muslims, how they're religious. What do

00:35:59.219 --> 00:36:00.599
you mean they don't know about them? I mean,

00:36:00.719 --> 00:36:03.000
there's Muslims three, seven times a day, they're

00:36:03.000 --> 00:36:05.780
so religious. There's Muslims rape children.

00:36:06.539 --> 00:36:08.840
There's Muslims kill Christians, there's Muslims,

00:36:09.239 --> 00:36:11.320
yeah. Okay, let's do this. Sure, they're so religious,

00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:14.300
but look at their... Bullshit religion. Okay,

00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:16.159
first of all, let's start with our homeland.

00:36:16.280 --> 00:36:18.820
Guess who did 9 -11? Yeah, I get it, man. Muslims.

00:36:18.980 --> 00:36:21.659
Yeah, I know. So we are supposed to hate Muslims

00:36:21.659 --> 00:36:24.300
because they killed three -something thousand

00:36:24.300 --> 00:36:25.300
people, four thousand, if you look at it. Whether

00:36:25.300 --> 00:36:27.639
they did or not. Then you go to building six,

00:36:27.719 --> 00:36:30.059
which nobody knows about. Building seven, you

00:36:30.059 --> 00:36:31.880
know, whatever you want to fucking do with all

00:36:31.880 --> 00:36:34.079
this bullshit. And then you realize that the

00:36:34.079 --> 00:36:37.380
fucking all of a sudden this passport flashed.

00:36:38.969 --> 00:36:40.829
down from a fucking, you know, it's like, oh,

00:36:40.849 --> 00:36:43.110
this guy's Saudi and Arabian. Oh, they're muzzies.

00:36:43.269 --> 00:36:45.090
You know what I mean? Get the fuck out of here.

00:36:45.730 --> 00:36:49.210
We're not that stupid. Do you really think that...

00:36:49.650 --> 00:36:52.170
They tell you never forget. Oh no, they want

00:36:52.170 --> 00:36:54.449
an excuse for a war. They're just trying to make

00:36:54.449 --> 00:36:56.389
an excuse for a war. And then all of a sudden

00:36:56.389 --> 00:36:58.909
we're going to hire a muzzy to fucking run New

00:36:58.909 --> 00:37:02.329
York City? Come on! This is weird. We are in

00:37:02.329 --> 00:37:05.449
the biggest, shittiest, fakest gay movie. Dude,

00:37:05.469 --> 00:37:06.929
you couldn't even get on an airplane without

00:37:06.929 --> 00:37:09.710
taking off your fucking shoes. Everybody in the

00:37:09.710 --> 00:37:11.289
world could come walking across the U .S. border.

00:37:11.409 --> 00:37:13.250
What the fuck is that? But they let you keep

00:37:13.250 --> 00:37:16.329
your shoes on now down in O 'Hare, which is great.

00:37:16.650 --> 00:37:19.309
But we talked to Mr. X, he's like... They made

00:37:19.309 --> 00:37:22.570
all these security restrictions for the air,

00:37:23.489 --> 00:37:25.869
and left the ground completely right open, which

00:37:25.869 --> 00:37:29.650
is classic fucking invasion tactic, dude. It's

00:37:29.650 --> 00:37:32.010
a classic war. I'm coming from General Liar over

00:37:32.010 --> 00:37:35.489
here. No, you're right. We need to put some SS

00:37:35.489 --> 00:37:38.420
bolts on this ant forum. Dude, it's a classic

00:37:38.420 --> 00:37:39.940
invasion tactic. We gotta make some stripes.

00:37:40.059 --> 00:37:43.739
Some fucking sergeant stripes? No, SS. Just...

00:37:43.739 --> 00:37:46.659
Look what's happening in Europe with the Muslims.

00:37:46.780 --> 00:37:48.760
How many Muslims are there, dude? They're ready

00:37:48.760 --> 00:37:51.619
to go to Sharia law. They want... Sharia. Sharia,

00:37:51.699 --> 00:37:53.940
whatever they call it. Look out. Look out, dude.

00:37:54.340 --> 00:37:55.760
What do you mean, look out? They're gonna come

00:37:55.760 --> 00:37:58.820
over. They're gonna get these evangelical Christians.

00:37:59.300 --> 00:38:01.800
Oh, those seven laws of Noah, whatever the fuck

00:38:01.800 --> 00:38:03.519
they're gonna call them. It's the Noahide laws.

00:38:03.940 --> 00:38:06.440
They're not gonna say that. Come something else

00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:08.599
and the Christian. Oh, it's so beautiful. It's

00:38:08.599 --> 00:38:11.960
so nice not realizing The punishment they're

00:38:11.960 --> 00:38:14.579
gonna get for not doing this you get head chopped

00:38:14.579 --> 00:38:17.900
off If you want read a Bible or talk about Jesus,

00:38:18.119 --> 00:38:19.199
what are you talking about? So they're trying

00:38:19.199 --> 00:38:21.619
to convert all these yes fucking Muslim and if

00:38:21.619 --> 00:38:23.559
they don't comply Yes, chop their heads off.

00:38:23.559 --> 00:38:26.099
Yes, sir. I'm saying yep, and where's this at?

00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:30.639
It's the Noahide laws are called. I understand

00:38:30.639 --> 00:38:32.900
that what country is this going on United States

00:38:32.900 --> 00:38:35.579
of America It's going to be a big change in America

00:38:35.579 --> 00:38:37.300
that can actually come into effect in a couple

00:38:37.300 --> 00:38:40.539
more years. The Noahide laws? Let's see. And

00:38:40.539 --> 00:38:42.619
we're gonna call them the seven laws of Noah,

00:38:42.760 --> 00:38:45.880
or the seven... They're trying to get all these

00:38:45.880 --> 00:38:49.519
red bracelet fuckers in that temple. The Kabbalah?

00:38:49.519 --> 00:38:51.440
The temple thing. That's what it's all about.

00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:53.820
That's what it's all about. You see, Sparley's

00:38:53.820 --> 00:38:55.460
got one of those... What's the cube called? What's

00:38:55.460 --> 00:38:57.619
the cube called that they have a... Yeah, they

00:38:57.619 --> 00:38:59.860
got that fucking cube. And fucking blue shit.

00:39:00.159 --> 00:39:02.480
Sparley's got one of those... I'm so sorry, Mr.

00:39:02.639 --> 00:39:04.500
Axel. He's probably a Muslim, Sparley. Hey, what's

00:39:04.500 --> 00:39:08.800
the cube called that they all fucking... The

00:39:08.800 --> 00:39:15.119
comma cube or something, yeah. There's a rock

00:39:15.119 --> 00:39:17.840
and there's a cube. Exactly. God, we're retarded.

00:39:17.880 --> 00:39:20.920
There's a big cube and there's a rock. And they

00:39:20.920 --> 00:39:26.079
walk around it. It's ridiculous. It's a bullshit.

00:39:26.260 --> 00:39:28.820
It's a bullshit. Just like the Jewish religion

00:39:28.820 --> 00:39:34.980
is bullshit. We're all fucking after Christians.

00:39:35.300 --> 00:39:37.719
We're gonna be a dying breed soon if we don't

00:39:37.719 --> 00:39:42.820
fucking stand up. No one's gonna stand up for

00:39:42.820 --> 00:39:45.500
us. I love it. What's that? No one's standing

00:39:45.500 --> 00:39:47.360
up for us. Exactly, because look at you, because

00:39:47.360 --> 00:39:50.280
we can really rely on you. You're fucking all

00:39:50.280 --> 00:39:53.510
fentanyl down with your liar helmet on. This

00:39:53.510 --> 00:39:54.789
guy needs to be promoted to general. He's at

00:39:54.789 --> 00:39:57.429
least got a helmet on. Fucking knocking out an

00:39:57.429 --> 00:39:59.989
helmet. I'm not knocking out! Yeah, not right

00:39:59.989 --> 00:40:02.489
now. I'm not knocking out. I'm not knocking out.

00:40:02.750 --> 00:40:04.489
I feel good. He's on the perfect amount. Between

00:40:04.489 --> 00:40:06.730
the fucking both of you, man. He's on the perfect

00:40:06.730 --> 00:40:10.630
amount, man. Jesus, man. Yeah. These fucking

00:40:10.630 --> 00:40:12.829
assholes I got. I hardly even smoked any weed

00:40:12.829 --> 00:40:18.409
today. Like, damn it, man. I mean, the lies that

00:40:18.409 --> 00:40:21.510
come out of your mouth. Oh, mama! I mean, no!

00:40:21.610 --> 00:40:24.110
I'm not lying. Just like you told us last time

00:40:24.110 --> 00:40:28.289
you weren't lying, right? I never should have

00:40:28.289 --> 00:40:31.969
told the truth, you see? That's a great way to

00:40:31.969 --> 00:40:35.429
live life. Now I should have never told the truth.

00:40:35.869 --> 00:40:38.050
Now look, now we're going to live down to a lie.

00:40:39.250 --> 00:40:41.170
My very, very, very good friend. What, did you

00:40:41.170 --> 00:40:46.889
carjacked again? Carjacking in Florida? Yeah,

00:40:46.889 --> 00:40:49.429
my very good friends who love me very much are

00:40:49.429 --> 00:40:53.269
going to be angry that I keep lying. And you

00:40:53.269 --> 00:40:56.150
see no problem with that you're like I shouldn't

00:40:56.150 --> 00:41:04.849
have said the truth Like a true Democrat fucking

00:41:04.849 --> 00:41:07.469
killing me up Larry's checking out like a true

00:41:07.469 --> 00:41:14.670
Democrat Tell me what Larry I'm just starting

00:41:14.670 --> 00:41:18.429
to feel like Almost normal. Although this is

00:41:18.429 --> 00:41:23.110
all still numb right here. It's still very numb.

00:41:23.550 --> 00:41:26.369
Joel Osteen's fucking boys camp. Oh my god, does

00:41:26.369 --> 00:41:28.809
he have a boys camp? I don't know anybody who's

00:41:28.809 --> 00:41:31.190
ever said that with that much enthusiasm, ever.

00:41:31.429 --> 00:41:33.090
No, how about you remember that camp that got

00:41:33.090 --> 00:41:35.329
destroyed by boys camp? You know about that camp

00:41:35.329 --> 00:41:39.449
in Texas that got destroyed, right? No. Girls

00:41:39.449 --> 00:41:41.949
camp? Yeah, they were up in a super week with

00:41:41.949 --> 00:41:43.789
their governor's daughters and shit. Yeah, there

00:41:43.789 --> 00:41:45.440
was a lot of people that were... involved in

00:41:45.440 --> 00:41:47.579
there. And then there was another one that fucking,

00:41:47.659 --> 00:41:49.659
what do you call it? Do you think it was a satanic

00:41:49.659 --> 00:41:52.500
ritual? Oh, of course it was. Mystic, camp mystic.

00:41:53.860 --> 00:41:55.860
No, but there are kind of witchcraft over there.

00:41:56.179 --> 00:41:58.360
Probably. They had to sacrifice the kids. Bath

00:41:58.360 --> 00:42:00.599
of match statues and everything. They knew it,

00:42:00.599 --> 00:42:03.340
or it was random. Moloch, all these weird stuff.

00:42:03.340 --> 00:42:06.000
They said we need to take the seven, how old

00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:07.760
were the kids? I don't know. I don't know. Listen,

00:42:07.880 --> 00:42:09.800
we're not trying to turn you on. Preteen kids,

00:42:10.360 --> 00:42:11.519
probably from such and such age. We gotta take

00:42:11.519 --> 00:42:14.150
this little age group right here. for the gods

00:42:14.150 --> 00:42:17.369
to be pleased and then... Oh man, listen, I mean,

00:42:18.250 --> 00:42:20.530
write your own pornography over here, aren't

00:42:20.530 --> 00:42:27.670
you? You're like, what's his name? Oh god, what

00:42:27.670 --> 00:42:29.650
the fuck is this? Ah, I can't believe I forgot

00:42:29.650 --> 00:42:33.429
it. Who's the guy? Jeffrey Epstein? Bill fucking...

00:42:33.429 --> 00:42:38.130
Bill... Dad wrote all that weird pornography.

00:42:38.130 --> 00:42:40.670
See this guy's fucking scrambled. Yeah, my brain's

00:42:40.670 --> 00:42:43.130
scrambled right now. But that's all right though.

00:42:43.329 --> 00:42:45.730
At Ron Hubbard. Yeah, with aliens in the middle

00:42:45.730 --> 00:42:47.949
of the fucking shit. Isn't that great? You had

00:42:47.949 --> 00:42:50.550
the Scientology guy, that one. Remember, those

00:42:50.550 --> 00:42:52.429
books were on TV? You had Dianetto, kid. I'm

00:42:52.429 --> 00:42:54.070
telling you, he's a fucking brainwashed. Those

00:42:54.070 --> 00:42:55.349
books were old. They were made in the 50s. No,

00:42:55.449 --> 00:42:57.869
sir, Nick bought one day. Yeah, he cleared out

00:42:57.869 --> 00:43:00.369
the car window eventually, I remember. He was

00:43:00.369 --> 00:43:02.710
like, this is bullshit. He tossed it out the

00:43:02.710 --> 00:43:06.809
window one day. Yeah, he was telling us. He was

00:43:06.809 --> 00:43:08.369
telling us parts about it. Then one day, he was

00:43:08.369 --> 00:43:11.849
like, this is bullshit. But I think you remember

00:43:11.849 --> 00:43:14.849
that too. He's like fuck L Ron Hubbard and he

00:43:14.849 --> 00:43:17.170
whipped it out his car window Going down the

00:43:17.170 --> 00:43:19.429
highway to some gig or something. Well, that's

00:43:19.429 --> 00:43:21.670
weird. Did you guys just reading L Ron Hubbard?

00:43:21.869 --> 00:43:26.949
Well, we're very fucking educated That's what

00:43:26.949 --> 00:43:30.090
educated people say we were very educated we

00:43:30.090 --> 00:43:42.809
probably became Scientologist Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:43:42.809 --> 00:43:45.550
That's ridiculous. They think all yours are fucking...

00:43:45.550 --> 00:43:47.929
Listen, religion is the biggest sigh -off there

00:43:47.929 --> 00:43:50.730
is. There's more people that have been killed

00:43:50.730 --> 00:43:54.670
because of fake -ass religions. So Jesus says

00:43:54.670 --> 00:43:55.969
he's the way, he's the truth, he's the right

00:43:55.969 --> 00:43:59.909
thing. And then somebody else interprets it.

00:44:00.869 --> 00:44:03.449
And then some guys have one fucking God with

00:44:03.449 --> 00:44:05.849
eight arms and the other one's like... Worship

00:44:05.849 --> 00:44:10.409
him. Mine was born in July, but we celebrated

00:44:10.409 --> 00:44:13.369
his birthday in fucking December. Man, really?

00:44:14.070 --> 00:44:16.489
There's just only one God who created everything.

00:44:17.490 --> 00:44:20.570
It's all fake. It's all fake and gay, dude. You're

00:44:20.570 --> 00:44:23.349
literally just fucking characters in a video

00:44:23.349 --> 00:44:25.969
game for everybody's appeasal. I'll tell you

00:44:25.969 --> 00:44:28.489
one thing, son. You're wrong about that. It's

00:44:28.489 --> 00:44:33.130
not fake or gay. It's real. It's real. It's real.

00:44:33.349 --> 00:44:36.869
It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's

00:44:36.869 --> 00:44:36.969
real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real.

00:44:36.969 --> 00:44:37.130
It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's

00:44:37.130 --> 00:44:37.269
real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real.

00:44:37.269 --> 00:44:37.289
It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's

00:44:37.289 --> 00:44:37.289
real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real.

00:44:37.289 --> 00:44:37.289
It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's

00:44:37.289 --> 00:44:38.469
real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real.

00:44:38.469 --> 00:44:47.679
It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real Oh,

00:44:47.719 --> 00:44:51.440
there we are. We're living true beings on a,

00:44:52.440 --> 00:44:55.619
you know, carbon fiber, you know. Yeah, but here's

00:44:55.619 --> 00:44:57.940
the thing, the beauty of it is, is I've never

00:44:57.940 --> 00:45:00.380
seen The Matrix. Who knows what they fucking

00:45:00.380 --> 00:45:05.260
told this man. I don't even know what that means.

00:45:05.480 --> 00:45:07.380
So that means you're somebody on the outside.

00:45:08.840 --> 00:45:10.380
So you're a fucking mark. I'm not part of The

00:45:10.380 --> 00:45:12.280
Matrix. You're an NPC then. It just seems to

00:45:12.280 --> 00:45:14.619
me, living here all alone and trying to cover

00:45:14.619 --> 00:45:18.230
up the truth about the Bible. The wrong way looks

00:45:18.230 --> 00:45:20.230
at, well, that is real, that is true, that's

00:45:20.230 --> 00:45:22.969
happened. The stories in the Bible actually happen

00:45:22.969 --> 00:45:26.530
the way they say they happen, and they don't

00:45:26.530 --> 00:45:28.369
want people to know there's really a God. You

00:45:28.369 --> 00:45:29.949
don't think there's been edits in the fucking

00:45:29.949 --> 00:45:32.449
thousands of years? No, exactly, yes, and they

00:45:32.449 --> 00:45:34.570
changed it in the wrong way, too. They switched

00:45:34.570 --> 00:45:38.949
it... Right. It's been changed, yes, and confused,

00:45:39.349 --> 00:45:42.969
and everything, and manipulated, but the basic

00:45:42.969 --> 00:45:48.559
story is there. It's like, who's had more drugs

00:45:48.559 --> 00:45:53.500
now? There is no God. There is nothing. You're

00:45:53.500 --> 00:45:57.380
not going to suffer if you live a bad life. No,

00:45:57.380 --> 00:46:00.119
you didn't say that. That's what they want you

00:46:00.119 --> 00:46:01.719
to say. That's what they want you to say. They

00:46:01.719 --> 00:46:04.679
want you to think that it's okay to sin, basically.

00:46:05.079 --> 00:46:06.300
Otherwise, they're afraid they won't make any

00:46:06.300 --> 00:46:09.579
money. If all these Christians won't worship

00:46:09.579 --> 00:46:12.460
anything but Jesus, you can't have... Hank Aaron

00:46:12.460 --> 00:46:14.000
or Michael Jordan, you know what I'm saying?

00:46:14.300 --> 00:46:17.840
First of all, like I said, religion is a psy

00:46:17.840 --> 00:46:19.400
-op. That's why there's so many of them. People

00:46:19.400 --> 00:46:22.199
fight over it all the time. It's meant to fucking

00:46:22.199 --> 00:46:23.539
enact its fucking... But, so is everything else

00:46:23.539 --> 00:46:26.619
a psy -op? All the Michael Jordan and the fucking

00:46:26.619 --> 00:46:28.199
whatever you just... Yes, distractions. Well,

00:46:28.199 --> 00:46:29.739
it's all fake and gay. You were like, no, it's

00:46:29.739 --> 00:46:31.539
not. I don't believe that. And then all of a

00:46:31.539 --> 00:46:32.440
sudden you're like, it's not fake. No, but the

00:46:32.440 --> 00:46:35.019
Earth itself is real. When you go to the mountains

00:46:35.019 --> 00:46:36.719
and you're in Colorado or California, that's

00:46:36.719 --> 00:46:38.480
real. I can go outside and touch grass, so it's

00:46:38.480 --> 00:46:41.099
real. That's real. I could pinch Donny Hensforth...

00:46:41.070 --> 00:46:42.889
but I don't want to, I might get fucking sickle

00:46:42.889 --> 00:46:45.869
cell or something. Absolutely. We're in a real

00:46:45.869 --> 00:46:49.010
floating thing, a world. And you know this, right?

00:46:49.190 --> 00:46:52.570
You should show Needles that fucking, speaking

00:46:52.570 --> 00:46:57.630
of sickle cell, that spot of... Nope. Nope. No,

00:46:57.630 --> 00:47:02.969
I saw it on the back of the cow. It's on the

00:47:02.969 --> 00:47:09.670
front of the couch right now Why would you bring

00:47:09.670 --> 00:47:26.280
that up Larry? I'm gonna open a freak show. I'm

00:47:26.280 --> 00:47:30.519
gonna open a freak show? But he said it, I didn't.

00:47:31.199 --> 00:47:34.500
Or a freak show booth. Once he gets his heavy

00:47:34.500 --> 00:47:38.179
duty surgery, it'll be fine. First of all, he

00:47:38.179 --> 00:47:41.420
needs to stop doing street drugs. That would

00:47:41.420 --> 00:47:43.800
probably be good. That would be good. Yeah, that's

00:47:43.800 --> 00:47:45.760
where we should start, liar. You don't have that

00:47:45.760 --> 00:47:49.630
helmet on. Never shits and giggles. Hey, you

00:47:49.630 --> 00:47:52.730
never shot no shit in the very close vein, did

00:47:52.730 --> 00:47:55.789
you? No, no. How could you? No. I don't know.

00:47:56.050 --> 00:47:58.889
No, I'd be afraid to. I would be, too. I don't

00:47:58.889 --> 00:48:01.030
know. You're nuts. No, don't even go anywhere.

00:48:01.250 --> 00:48:02.989
I'm afraid. Oh, they don't go anywhere? I don't

00:48:02.989 --> 00:48:06.110
think so. I don't know. Yeah. Is that what happened?

00:48:06.309 --> 00:48:09.989
Yeah, I'm not sure. Oh, OK. I don't think they

00:48:09.989 --> 00:48:12.269
really lead to anything. The back of his legs

00:48:12.269 --> 00:48:15.849
have tortellini on them. I went to a vein place.

00:48:15.889 --> 00:48:18.110
I went to the very close vein doctor. That's

00:48:18.110 --> 00:48:20.929
a good description. I went to the very close

00:48:20.929 --> 00:48:29.829
vein doctor. They laid me down on the table.

00:48:30.690 --> 00:48:32.789
The nurse could have ruled it. She was like,

00:48:32.909 --> 00:48:35.309
oh my God, how bad does that hurt? And I said,

00:48:35.389 --> 00:48:38.460
it doesn't hurt at all. She goes, oh. Well, insurance

00:48:38.460 --> 00:48:40.519
won't cover it unless it hurts. You should have

00:48:40.519 --> 00:48:42.440
let her kick you. No, she said, so just... Ow,

00:48:42.780 --> 00:48:45.920
now it hurts. Yeah, she goes, just forget that

00:48:45.920 --> 00:48:47.739
you came here. Here's five more bucks, kick me

00:48:47.739 --> 00:48:50.440
in the balls. And, you know, basically she's

00:48:50.440 --> 00:48:52.960
trying to say come back and lie, but I'll just

00:48:52.960 --> 00:48:54.940
wait till it starts to hurt. He's wearing a liar

00:48:54.940 --> 00:48:57.840
helmet. Yeah, you should have just went back

00:48:57.840 --> 00:49:00.199
and lied. He won't lie to the doctor, but he'll

00:49:00.199 --> 00:49:17.320
lie to his friends. Mary do you see the lighter

00:49:17.320 --> 00:49:31.349
helmet? I'm a liar. It is true. Yes, I'm a liar.

00:49:31.389 --> 00:49:34.929
It is true. Here's the best part. I've lied,

00:49:34.929 --> 00:49:40.010
lied, lied to you. We'll make some kind of hat

00:49:40.010 --> 00:49:42.349
with a liar on it. I'm like, okay, and I get

00:49:42.349 --> 00:49:44.250
the marker and I'm like, you think that's speaking

00:49:44.250 --> 00:49:47.690
out for anything? He's just like, hell no. He

00:49:47.690 --> 00:49:50.329
draws the outline of that and I'm like, okay,

00:49:50.670 --> 00:49:54.869
I got this. I got this. You know, that was on

00:49:54.869 --> 00:49:59.000
there, too. Stop doing street drugs, man. Fucking

00:49:59.000 --> 00:50:01.019
fentanyl and shit. You didn't know that was on

00:50:01.019 --> 00:50:02.920
there? I didn't know I said liar on it like this.

00:50:03.420 --> 00:50:07.559
No, you didn't know that? No. You just realized.

00:50:07.579 --> 00:50:09.599
I just thought it was a liar helmet. Come on,

00:50:09.659 --> 00:50:11.639
Larry, is this real? Oh my God. I mean, are we

00:50:11.639 --> 00:50:14.539
in the fucking matrix right now? We've been telling

00:50:14.539 --> 00:50:17.480
you. We showed you the helmet. Right, but how

00:50:17.480 --> 00:50:18.920
am I supposed to see this? You put it right on

00:50:18.920 --> 00:50:21.059
my head. We showed it to you. I didn't see this

00:50:21.059 --> 00:50:23.420
when you showed it to me. I'd say, here, look.

00:50:25.440 --> 00:50:30.139
Now I'm turning into daddy. I know. I can see

00:50:30.139 --> 00:50:32.340
you on the screen now. Oh, now you can. The guy

00:50:32.340 --> 00:50:35.239
with the big liar on his head. That's great.

00:50:35.539 --> 00:50:37.539
Now you realize your helmet looks pretty good.

00:50:37.579 --> 00:50:40.099
I know. I'm going to keep it. Hopefully it'll

00:50:40.099 --> 00:50:43.079
fucking snap you out of your fucking shit doing

00:50:43.079 --> 00:50:45.820
ways lately. How about this? Speaking of shit

00:50:45.820 --> 00:50:47.880
doing ways. If you die, we're just going to throw

00:50:47.880 --> 00:50:52.579
you in the Chicago River. That's good. OK. You

00:50:52.579 --> 00:50:58.400
hear that, Mary? That's legally binding. People...

00:50:58.400 --> 00:51:01.940
My mom will be happy. Thanks, guys. You're welcome.

00:51:02.320 --> 00:51:04.139
You saved me a lot of money with that one, thanks.

00:51:04.179 --> 00:51:06.059
She'll probably ask you, could you take care

00:51:06.059 --> 00:51:08.320
of him? I don't want to... What do you mean,

00:51:08.579 --> 00:51:11.139
take care of him? You know. Didn't you say you

00:51:11.139 --> 00:51:13.239
had a number of a guy that can cremate it for

00:51:13.239 --> 00:51:16.380
cheaper? Yeah, yeah. $78. Yeah, I said I got

00:51:16.380 --> 00:51:21.559
to tell my mom about that. Yeah. She'll be happy.

00:51:21.599 --> 00:51:23.619
She'll be thanking me up and down after I die.

00:51:23.840 --> 00:51:26.360
Oh, thanks, y 'all for that number. $78. Nah.

00:51:26.780 --> 00:51:28.619
You sure you got to beat him to break all his

00:51:28.619 --> 00:51:35.500
arms. All his arms. They just got to be in one

00:51:35.500 --> 00:51:38.880
fucking way. He's got to fit into a small barrel.

00:51:39.829 --> 00:51:41.989
Dude, what was planning my funeral already? $78,

00:51:42.309 --> 00:51:45.909
but you break his fucking bones. You gotta crush

00:51:45.909 --> 00:51:48.650
your muscles. No, man, listen here, silly. Leonard

00:51:48.650 --> 00:51:52.250
said that he knew a guy. Oh, that's even better.

00:51:52.989 --> 00:51:54.409
Yeah. You know, once you're in the industry.

00:51:54.449 --> 00:51:55.409
You know, he does all the... He does all the...

00:51:55.409 --> 00:51:57.869
The pet place, right? ...bombs and... people

00:51:57.869 --> 00:52:00.489
in the city that don't get claimed and shit.

00:52:00.489 --> 00:52:02.590
I mean, first of all, this guy sounds like he's

00:52:02.590 --> 00:52:04.710
rogue. He's really off the reservation, isn't

00:52:04.710 --> 00:52:07.389
he? Maybe it's like 119. It was very cheap. Oh

00:52:07.389 --> 00:52:09.889
wait, just change your... It was somewhere between

00:52:09.889 --> 00:52:12.190
78 and 119. I can't remember. I thought it was

00:52:12.190 --> 00:52:17.050
78. We'll criminal anybody any time! Criminal

00:52:17.050 --> 00:52:20.269
anybody any time! 99 .99! I don't know why, because

00:52:20.269 --> 00:52:27.889
it was like 89 to do the... cats and I wanna

00:52:27.889 --> 00:52:32.110
say it was cheaper than the vat. No, his guy

00:52:32.110 --> 00:52:34.849
was cheaper than the vat guy. Where does he do

00:52:34.849 --> 00:52:37.880
it? This guy, I guess, runs, like, the city.

00:52:37.880 --> 00:52:39.519
Wait a minute, wait a minute. He's got a crematorium.

00:52:40.360 --> 00:52:42.099
The crematorium. You don't want to just give

00:52:42.099 --> 00:52:44.420
a body to this guy. I don't know. Well, probably,

00:52:44.420 --> 00:52:47.719
probably can. He'll probably piss, cast, and

00:52:47.719 --> 00:52:49.880
burn just while he's missing people and not being

00:52:49.880 --> 00:52:52.199
found, because... Because what? He's going to

00:52:52.199 --> 00:52:55.219
be burned out for $99 .99 at the old Shibes fucking

00:52:55.219 --> 00:52:59.519
crematorium. Now you're in on this racket. Right.

00:53:00.110 --> 00:53:03.090
You just did the first commercial. Before anybody,

00:53:03.969 --> 00:53:09.010
anytime. 24 -7. $89 .99. You can't do it 24 -7,

00:53:09.190 --> 00:53:10.869
because you gotta remember, now you're burning

00:53:10.869 --> 00:53:13.449
bodies in the fucking city, and you're stacked

00:53:13.449 --> 00:53:14.630
in between houses. I stink so bad, who's gonna

00:53:14.630 --> 00:53:17.070
know? And you're stacked between houses. My god.

00:53:17.659 --> 00:53:19.760
And they're fucking emitting that shit. Yeah,

00:53:19.980 --> 00:53:21.900
it's... You know how you just charge them from

00:53:21.900 --> 00:53:23.340
the street and they're sitting in the hospital

00:53:23.340 --> 00:53:25.199
and it was godawful. You almost want to throw

00:53:25.199 --> 00:53:27.599
up. Wait, though. What was the address, Pharrell?

00:53:27.719 --> 00:53:29.699
Pharrell Shy, remember? It was, like, on the

00:53:29.699 --> 00:53:32.159
south side or something. Pharrell Shy. We pay

00:53:32.159 --> 00:53:35.730
any car, any color. Where was Earl Shives? I

00:53:35.730 --> 00:53:37.389
don't know. There's a bunch of them in the chain.

00:53:37.530 --> 00:53:39.590
I don't know Earl Shives. No, I don't know Earl

00:53:39.590 --> 00:53:40.829
Shives. It was a chain, Earl Shives was a chain.

00:53:40.909 --> 00:53:43.349
You're like 15 years older than I am. We'll paint

00:53:43.349 --> 00:53:46.929
any color, any color. 99 .99. Earl Shives. Look

00:53:46.929 --> 00:53:49.429
it, with the liar helmet on, he can sell anybody.

00:53:51.570 --> 00:53:53.650
That's what they said though, Niels. But that

00:53:53.650 --> 00:53:56.949
was like Midas. Remember Midas or whatever the

00:53:56.949 --> 00:53:59.170
fucking place they used to do the 99 dollar paint

00:53:59.170 --> 00:54:01.440
job? They didn't do the inside, they just do

00:54:01.440 --> 00:54:04.119
the car. Mako you're talking about. Mako. Double

00:54:04.119 --> 00:54:07.920
A R. Better get Mako. There's always a black

00:54:07.920 --> 00:54:11.300
guy running in your car. And Victory Auto Records,

00:54:11.460 --> 00:54:13.659
of course, with Richard Dean was the announcer,

00:54:14.000 --> 00:54:17.440
was the guy. Dean Richards. Now we're just getting

00:54:17.440 --> 00:54:19.980
off the rails here. Chicago fruitcake on the

00:54:19.980 --> 00:54:25.719
news. Yeah, he's so gay. He's on a morning Sunday

00:54:25.719 --> 00:54:29.300
show. Who is? Dean Richards. I didn't realize

00:54:29.300 --> 00:54:31.889
how gay he was. God, is he fucking gay. Scott

00:54:31.889 --> 00:54:34.909
Anfort's old boyfriend. Richard's. He's on WGN

00:54:34.909 --> 00:54:37.510
news, the entertainment guy, the movie guy, the

00:54:37.510 --> 00:54:39.449
entertainment. I have no fucking clue what you're

00:54:39.449 --> 00:54:41.030
talking about. The gay guy who talks about the

00:54:41.030 --> 00:54:48.769
gays on the news, yeah. WGN, gay dean. Gay dean?

00:54:49.030 --> 00:54:51.329
Dean Richards, yeah. Dean Richards. I don't know

00:54:51.329 --> 00:54:53.170
who this guy is, but man, you know a lot about

00:54:53.170 --> 00:54:55.449
him, it sounds like. He does the movie reviews.

00:54:55.570 --> 00:54:58.630
Yeah, really. Like a real Cisco and Ebert. Like

00:54:58.630 --> 00:55:01.920
a real Cisco and Ebert only. One of them gangers.

00:55:02.079 --> 00:55:08.280
This guy has a job. That was a good job. Piss

00:55:08.280 --> 00:55:12.079
off. Also, he fucking has little cooking segments.

00:55:12.199 --> 00:55:13.900
Yes, yeah, he does the cooking thing too. Nah,

00:55:13.900 --> 00:55:16.340
because he's a fanuc though. How do you get other

00:55:16.340 --> 00:55:19.639
fanucs? That's like chummin' fanucs. Hey, I could

00:55:19.639 --> 00:55:21.780
cook too. I mean, if you could make a fucking

00:55:21.780 --> 00:55:25.579
creme from fucking flambe or whatever. Creme

00:55:25.579 --> 00:55:29.659
flambe and suck a dick. Not even. Let me tell

00:55:29.659 --> 00:55:32.010
you. Oh, these fucking people. Now, here I am

00:55:32.010 --> 00:55:33.670
at Jim and Peach, right, with the espressos.

00:55:34.170 --> 00:55:38.230
And, yeah, a twist. You're supposed to be sure

00:55:38.230 --> 00:55:41.050
of a twist, espressos, you know. Yeah, do a what?

00:55:41.409 --> 00:55:44.889
A lemon twist on espressos. An espresso? Yeah,

00:55:45.030 --> 00:55:48.269
yeah, yeah. You heard of that? Yeah, yeah, it's

00:55:48.269 --> 00:55:50.590
for fags. Yeah, you are a real faggot, yeah.

00:55:51.369 --> 00:55:54.909
And, um... She knows it. Mary knows, right? Yeah,

00:55:54.909 --> 00:55:57.900
yeah, yeah. But right, so now it's at Jim and

00:55:57.900 --> 00:56:00.920
Pete's and the waitress. You got to put a lemon

00:56:00.920 --> 00:56:03.699
twist on it. That is for fags, man. What did

00:56:03.699 --> 00:56:06.360
I just say? Is that what you told her? I said,

00:56:06.539 --> 00:56:10.840
yeah. Did they get mad again? She was careful

00:56:10.840 --> 00:56:13.260
what you say. Yeah, he's like, I nodded out and

00:56:13.260 --> 00:56:15.079
I woke up four minutes later and she was gone.

00:56:17.719 --> 00:56:20.320
I'm like, I'm sorry. The last place I worked

00:56:20.320 --> 00:56:22.380
at, if you gave a guy espresso with a lemon twist

00:56:22.380 --> 00:56:24.119
down, you got hit in the fucking face for it.

00:56:24.699 --> 00:56:27.699
So I'm just, you know. Yeah, exactly. You can't

00:56:27.699 --> 00:56:29.679
be fucking doing that bullshit. So I went to

00:56:29.679 --> 00:56:31.539
this place, I was working, you know, I wanted

00:56:31.539 --> 00:56:33.880
to - Doesn't it like coffee, though? Well, espresso,

00:56:34.099 --> 00:56:36.239
a cup of strong coffee. So why would you want

00:56:36.239 --> 00:56:40.579
lemon in there? Exactly. He's a faggot? No, I'm

00:56:40.579 --> 00:56:42.920
not. I don't put lemon twist in my espresso.

00:56:42.980 --> 00:56:47.250
He likes a little - To shout out. Yeah. Nah,

00:56:47.250 --> 00:56:48.510
I don't do it with espresso. Yeah, it's kind

00:56:48.510 --> 00:56:52.949
of like a popper in your fucking car. Yeah, that

00:56:52.949 --> 00:56:54.750
works for these two others, these two fucking,

00:56:54.829 --> 00:56:57.829
those two of them, every day they'd have an espresso.

00:56:57.829 --> 00:57:00.349
Say it again, these two dagos, dagos, dagos,

00:57:00.349 --> 00:57:01.750
what the fuck? Every day they'd have an espresso.

00:57:02.030 --> 00:57:07.010
What? Poppers? Oh, I don't know. Every fucking

00:57:07.010 --> 00:57:12.190
day they'd have an espresso. And? I was looking

00:57:12.190 --> 00:57:18.690
to get a can of pop. These fucking Jews. They'd

00:57:18.690 --> 00:57:22.329
be rolling on the floor fighting over buying

00:57:22.329 --> 00:57:24.869
shredded letters or hedge letters and shredding

00:57:24.869 --> 00:57:28.909
them themselves. What? What's more cost effective?

00:57:29.799 --> 00:57:31.800
Well, it costs a little more to buy a bag of

00:57:31.800 --> 00:57:34.239
shredded lettuce. Obviously. But they're nice

00:57:34.239 --> 00:57:36.079
and you open them right up in a permanent plan

00:57:36.079 --> 00:57:37.480
and it's beautiful. Yeah, you can fucking work

00:57:37.480 --> 00:57:40.420
with that. Shred the lettuce from the slicer

00:57:40.420 --> 00:57:42.079
and you're really not getting it all shredded.

00:57:43.500 --> 00:57:45.539
It doesn't all shred. It gets you really prepped

00:57:45.539 --> 00:57:47.440
for your growth. And you got a mess. You got

00:57:47.440 --> 00:57:50.639
a fucking huge mess. A giant pile of bull. Yeah,

00:57:50.659 --> 00:57:54.380
it's ridiculous. So for the extra money, it's

00:57:54.380 --> 00:57:56.420
worth it to have the shredders. It's all been

00:57:56.420 --> 00:57:59.840
in nice shredding. I think you're a liar. No,

00:57:59.880 --> 00:58:01.440
I'm not lying about that. No, I'm not lying.

00:58:01.519 --> 00:58:04.139
See, there we go. We finally got the truth out

00:58:04.139 --> 00:58:07.320
of it for once. No, I'm not lying about that.

00:58:07.579 --> 00:58:09.579
So then I said, why don't you use ketchup instead

00:58:09.579 --> 00:58:12.860
of tomatoes? Oh, Jesus, man. You've been hanging

00:58:12.860 --> 00:58:15.300
out in your Shiva too long. That was hilarious.

00:58:15.320 --> 00:58:21.300
You can't be doing that. That's great. Let's

00:58:21.300 --> 00:58:26.159
just use ketchup instead of tomatoes. That's

00:58:26.159 --> 00:58:31.000
excellent. Yeah, that's very funny. These junky

00:58:31.000 --> 00:58:35.460
tails are really fucking great. I love it. It's

00:58:35.460 --> 00:58:37.260
been a while since you've been on here. What

00:58:37.260 --> 00:58:41.360
time are we at? The guy. You should put your

00:58:41.360 --> 00:58:43.280
cheap booze in the expensive bottles. How crazy

00:58:43.280 --> 00:58:45.500
is that? I asked him what time it was. He sat

00:58:45.500 --> 00:58:48.619
back down and brought up another story. He didn't

00:58:48.619 --> 00:58:51.059
even tell me what time it was. I don't know,

00:58:51.199 --> 00:58:55.349
bro. Lunatic? I'm the producer here. If you'd

00:58:55.349 --> 00:58:57.769
come in and put the chip in, how do you even

00:58:57.769 --> 00:58:59.510
think people could tell the difference? Of what?

00:59:00.269 --> 00:59:06.579
Bacchus. Any lickers. Yeah, you can you can taste

00:59:06.579 --> 00:59:08.480
the difference is obvious they they lied to me

00:59:08.480 --> 00:59:13.099
about it they they tricked me in a blind test

00:59:13.099 --> 00:59:17.619
Between absolute and Barton's or whatever the

00:59:17.619 --> 00:59:19.559
fuck, you know, I mean you can tell the difference

00:59:19.559 --> 00:59:24.280
Yeah, exactly Anyways, the guy would come in

00:59:24.280 --> 00:59:26.380
and literally put the cheek vase age you like

00:59:26.380 --> 00:59:33.670
the great goose bottle AND I DROP IT! And people

00:59:33.670 --> 00:59:36.530
really drink below, you know what I mean? They

00:59:36.530 --> 00:59:38.909
fucking know, dude. Oh yeah, dude, if you're

00:59:38.909 --> 00:59:41.750
ordering Grey Goose, there's a certain flavor

00:59:41.750 --> 00:59:44.969
in mine. Yes, you know. If you're getting smearin'

00:59:45.090 --> 00:59:48.170
off your skull or whatever, you're gonna be like,

00:59:48.409 --> 00:59:51.030
oh yeah, dude. And what would happen is, they

00:59:51.030 --> 00:59:53.250
wouldn't order another one. Liquor talk with

00:59:53.250 --> 00:59:54.530
you. They just wouldn't order another one because

00:59:54.530 --> 00:59:56.730
they knew it wasn't... Seriously though, you

00:59:56.730 --> 00:59:58.210
know you're not getting your turn. Well yeah,

00:59:58.309 --> 01:00:00.369
you can tell the fucking low grade between high

01:00:00.369 --> 01:00:03.280
grade shit. Absolutely. Right if you're drinking

01:00:03.280 --> 01:00:06.039
a full the guys not gonna replace the high -grade

01:00:06.039 --> 01:00:09.559
shit for other high -grade shit exactly and the

01:00:09.559 --> 01:00:12.519
others now place with all the same Low -grade

01:00:12.519 --> 01:00:14.920
cheap -ass shit that he's getting a three gallon

01:00:14.920 --> 01:00:30.619
bottle of it three gallon wine jugs Is there

01:00:30.619 --> 01:00:36.860
a bottle bigger than a handle? Yeah, like they

01:00:36.860 --> 01:00:40.340
have a Dom Perignon one. They have a big, giant

01:00:40.340 --> 01:00:42.960
bottle. They have the Greg Hussman. They're like

01:00:42.960 --> 01:00:45.460
for advertising purposes. They have big, giant

01:00:45.460 --> 01:00:48.219
bottles. And they're not always perfect, by the

01:00:48.219 --> 01:00:50.360
way. Sometimes they do have a lot in them. I

01:00:50.360 --> 01:00:52.219
want mine filled with pure, great cocaine. Well,

01:00:52.340 --> 01:00:54.659
I thought there was some liquor stores that always

01:00:54.659 --> 01:00:57.960
served that had, like, these big, giant bottles

01:00:57.960 --> 01:01:01.340
of, uh, smirnoff. Sure. It was almost like an

01:01:01.340 --> 01:01:05.059
Army gas can worth a fucking... Army gas can?

01:01:05.280 --> 01:01:07.940
I mean, can you talk about some old -school,

01:01:08.119 --> 01:01:11.219
dumb 1950s measuring system? If you were to work

01:01:11.219 --> 01:01:12.980
with the metric system, I might have been able

01:01:12.980 --> 01:01:14.960
to follow you. Which would be like an old -school

01:01:14.960 --> 01:01:19.179
1950s gas can. It's like nine liters. Yeah, I

01:01:19.179 --> 01:01:21.340
mean, what does it look like? Are you talking

01:01:21.340 --> 01:01:23.579
like the big one that fits on the back of a Jeep?

01:01:23.820 --> 01:01:26.940
Yeah. Oh, so look it. Here we finally go. Big

01:01:26.940 --> 01:01:28.519
square motherfucker. Man, you two are retarded.

01:01:28.920 --> 01:01:31.559
So now you got to know. Here we go. So now you

01:01:31.559 --> 01:01:34.019
got to know as a waiter, right? Smyrnov vodka

01:01:34.019 --> 01:01:38.380
is $5 .50. Absolute vodka is $5 .50. $5 .50 what?

01:01:38.860 --> 01:01:41.420
Dollars. $0 .50, yeah. For what? Guy orders a

01:01:41.420 --> 01:01:43.420
drink, vodka tonic. Oh, for one drink, okay.

01:01:43.460 --> 01:01:46.079
So what are you going to do? Give him the fucking

01:01:46.079 --> 01:01:48.699
smirnoff, which he ain't gonna like. The same

01:01:48.699 --> 01:01:51.739
place he gets the better vodka. He just ordered

01:01:51.739 --> 01:01:53.659
vodka, he didn't say what. Oh, you gotta ask

01:01:53.659 --> 01:01:55.960
him, that's how you upsell. They're both the

01:01:55.960 --> 01:01:58.619
same price. They're both the same price, they're

01:01:58.619 --> 01:02:00.920
$5 .50. Well vodka and smirnoff are the same

01:02:00.920 --> 01:02:04.139
price? Yes, yes. Interesting. Man, I don't know,

01:02:04.340 --> 01:02:07.059
man. First of all, you have a liar helmet on.

01:02:07.639 --> 01:02:12.699
Well vodka is the smirnoff. Huh? Well vodka is

01:02:12.699 --> 01:02:15.960
the smirnoff. The smear not pleased the wild.

01:02:15.960 --> 01:02:17.239
I don't know about that. You can buy pop -off

01:02:17.239 --> 01:02:19.320
or something way cheaper than that and make it

01:02:19.320 --> 01:02:21.139
well vodka. Well, not at a place like this. This

01:02:21.139 --> 01:02:23.380
was a fancy restaurant. This was fancy and pop

01:02:23.380 --> 01:02:27.800
-off. Then something like amaretto, okay? The

01:02:27.800 --> 01:02:30.760
bar amaretto is schnapps amaretto. It's schnapps

01:02:30.760 --> 01:02:34.059
amaretto. Schnapps is gay. Horrible. It's absolutely

01:02:34.059 --> 01:02:36.809
horrible. And people drink... Amaretto Stone

01:02:36.809 --> 01:02:41.369
Showers. They're not big drinkers. It's a real

01:02:41.369 --> 01:02:44.349
nice sweet drink. It's orange juice and amaretto.

01:02:45.670 --> 01:02:49.809
And amaretto is a real sweet liqueur. But the

01:02:49.809 --> 01:02:54.530
schnapps amaretto tastes like shit. And most

01:02:54.530 --> 01:02:57.750
people that drink those amaretto stone showers,

01:02:58.409 --> 01:03:00.690
they're getting Di Sorono. And again, it's the

01:03:00.690 --> 01:03:03.349
same price as a schnapps. First of all, what

01:03:03.349 --> 01:03:05.750
the fuck? I don't want Bartok with Donnie and

01:03:05.750 --> 01:03:07.329
Fork the Liar. Right. So you might as well order

01:03:07.329 --> 01:03:09.329
the Di Cirono, right? Then they're going to like

01:03:09.329 --> 01:03:11.210
to drink and order another one. How did we let

01:03:11.210 --> 01:03:13.030
this happen? We completely lost control of our

01:03:13.030 --> 01:03:14.110
podcast. And then after they have a couple, you

01:03:14.110 --> 01:03:16.829
start giving them the cheap shit. Right. Right.

01:03:16.829 --> 01:03:20.050
Because he's a liar. But I don't do that. I never

01:03:20.050 --> 01:03:21.690
give them the cheap shit. Oh, I never do that.

01:03:21.969 --> 01:03:24.349
It was the bartender. This is how I did it. It

01:03:24.349 --> 01:03:27.070
was the bartender pouring the cheap shit when

01:03:27.070 --> 01:03:31.380
you ordered the good stuff. Yeah, you really

01:03:31.380 --> 01:03:33.940
are the Steve Jobs. So I would order the good

01:03:33.940 --> 01:03:38.659
gin and she would pour the crap anyways. Yeah.

01:03:39.960 --> 01:03:40.800
Yes, this fucking bitch. You think she would

01:03:40.800 --> 01:03:42.920
fart in a glass for you? I'm thinking, well,

01:03:42.960 --> 01:03:44.920
why is she doing that? Do you just hate me or

01:03:44.920 --> 01:03:47.699
have you been instructed to do this? You know

01:03:47.699 --> 01:03:50.079
what I mean? Was the drink actually for you or

01:03:50.079 --> 01:03:51.559
was it for someone else? No, it was for a customer,

01:03:51.719 --> 01:03:55.519
of course. I don't drink, you know. We only shoot

01:03:55.519 --> 01:03:59.980
dope in the bathroom. Sniff it. Sniff it. Don't

01:03:59.980 --> 01:04:02.260
you dare say that. So I don't know. And it probably

01:04:02.260 --> 01:04:06.760
was down for management. Just, you know. What

01:04:06.760 --> 01:04:10.679
do you think? OK. Over there. We all know what

01:04:10.679 --> 01:04:15.380
you have. Over there. Right. And? The place that

01:04:15.380 --> 01:04:17.019
shall not be named. The asshole's in the air.

01:04:17.099 --> 01:04:20.000
Finally. Actually, Larry actually blurted something

01:04:20.000 --> 01:04:22.260
out. Just don't say. I don't want to give him

01:04:22.260 --> 01:04:25.199
any business in case people hear us. Yeah, that's

01:04:25.199 --> 01:04:28.199
fine. No, I know. We're not talking to you, Mary.

01:04:28.599 --> 01:04:30.760
All right, so we apologize to our... We still

01:04:30.760 --> 01:04:31.900
love you, right? You know, that place where they

01:04:31.900 --> 01:04:35.019
have homosexual orgies and the bar closes every

01:04:35.019 --> 01:04:39.039
night. How do you know, first of all? A lot of

01:04:39.039 --> 01:04:41.780
cocaine and faggotry. Because he's one of the

01:04:41.780 --> 01:04:46.420
servants. Really? You hear what I'm saying? You

01:04:46.420 --> 01:04:49.559
should watch this, dude. I don't know what happened.

01:04:50.199 --> 01:04:54.400
I don't know what happened. Dude, I got harassed

01:04:54.400 --> 01:05:00.329
by you homosexuals, man. Please continue with

01:05:00.329 --> 01:05:05.110
this These guys were just my assholes. Anyways,

01:05:05.369 --> 01:05:08.289
I guess they were aggressive homos. Yes aggressive

01:05:08.289 --> 01:05:14.489
homos and they sent the shit The boss was a little

01:05:14.489 --> 01:05:17.590
jealous of each other there was there was a power

01:05:17.590 --> 01:05:21.210
struggle amongst the command No, no between them

01:05:21.210 --> 01:05:26.269
command Yeah, there was there was it was a leader

01:05:26.269 --> 01:05:28.909
of the homo band group the one guy was a leader

01:05:28.909 --> 01:05:31.710
His name then it was the first name only the

01:05:31.710 --> 01:05:33.710
femme was you know the other one, okay? Come

01:05:33.710 --> 01:05:35.869
on. There was the one guy that was actually really

01:05:35.869 --> 01:05:38.250
nice until the other two came you line Yeah,

01:05:38.250 --> 01:05:40.329
when the flag was there by himself. I don't like

01:05:40.329 --> 01:05:41.750
what you showed up and started working there

01:05:41.750 --> 01:05:43.369
when they just started working there to come

01:05:43.369 --> 01:05:45.789
come The one guy was really nice and cool, but

01:05:45.789 --> 01:05:47.949
then once the other two showed up, he turned

01:05:47.949 --> 01:05:50.130
into a complete fucking prick too. They totally

01:05:50.130 --> 01:05:52.670
had their way with you. I was ridiculous, dude.

01:05:52.869 --> 01:05:54.489
These fucking guys. So then you were the outsider.

01:05:55.269 --> 01:05:57.389
They were jealous. They were jealous. They were

01:05:57.389 --> 01:06:02.489
jealous of me. They were gay, so they're just

01:06:02.489 --> 01:06:05.389
playing better waiters because they're gay. They

01:06:05.389 --> 01:06:08.739
obviously weren't. And they was jealous of me,

01:06:08.840 --> 01:06:11.099
dude. They were jealous of you. They were jealous

01:06:11.099 --> 01:06:13.559
of me, yes. A 50 -year -old man. The homo -server.

01:06:13.559 --> 01:06:15.960
Yeah, yes, yeah. The homo -server. 23 -year -old,

01:06:16.199 --> 01:06:19.800
gay, fucking, yeah. Jealous of some fucking crap,

01:06:19.940 --> 01:06:21.980
decrepit junkie, for God's sake. Why were they

01:06:21.980 --> 01:06:23.199
jealous of you? Dude, they want to know how much

01:06:23.199 --> 01:06:25.900
I pay for my highlights in my hair. I don't fucking

01:06:25.900 --> 01:06:28.559
highlight my fucking hair. Dude, you are a lunatic.

01:06:28.780 --> 01:06:30.880
They were jealous. They would do anything they

01:06:30.880 --> 01:06:34.500
could to fucking get me. Mad, in trouble, yeah,

01:06:34.599 --> 01:06:36.320
just all kinds of things. Did they try to kiss

01:06:36.320 --> 01:06:40.280
you? They tried to turn me gay. Yeah, well, they

01:06:40.280 --> 01:06:41.900
tried to kiss you. There's a method. There's

01:06:41.900 --> 01:06:45.940
a method. No, no, no, this is good. Wait, wait,

01:06:46.239 --> 01:06:48.940
slow down. Among this gay community. Stop, stop,

01:06:49.139 --> 01:06:50.780
shh, listen. I found out. Pitching a new product.

01:06:50.960 --> 01:06:53.760
Amongst the community. Don Anfor's anti -gay

01:06:53.760 --> 01:06:55.519
program. No, no, this is what I heard. Here you

01:06:55.519 --> 01:06:57.380
go, what's the anti -gay program? They told me

01:06:57.380 --> 01:07:00.719
where they grab you by the nuts. Who dogs, the

01:07:00.719 --> 01:07:02.780
gays? A gay. Wow. Yeah. That's pretty aggressive.

01:07:03.320 --> 01:07:06.280
I was at work. Very aggressive. At work. Well,

01:07:06.380 --> 01:07:10.860
did they do that to you? Mmm. I didn't say, what

01:07:10.860 --> 01:07:13.440
the fuck are you doing? No, I didn't say what

01:07:13.440 --> 01:07:16.400
the fuck are you doing. You could at least let

01:07:16.400 --> 01:07:19.900
me take my pants off. They took your pants off?

01:07:19.980 --> 01:07:23.000
No, you could let me take my pants off. No, of

01:07:23.000 --> 01:07:27.159
course I was offended, shocked, and mortified.

01:07:27.550 --> 01:07:30.670
But, you know, I'm confident in my sexuality.

01:07:30.929 --> 01:07:33.050
It's not like I'm good. I'm fighting heroin on

01:07:33.050 --> 01:07:36.030
the west side of Chicago. The most dangerous

01:07:36.030 --> 01:07:40.750
place in Chicago. Worst than you've ever... People

01:07:40.750 --> 01:07:42.889
who are listening, you can't... Yeah, I get in

01:07:42.889 --> 01:07:44.650
my car and go, Jenny, you want me to sell you

01:07:44.650 --> 01:07:46.809
some fucking drugs? And then this guy is all

01:07:46.809 --> 01:07:49.809
worried about these fucking homos. Yeah, word.

01:07:50.110 --> 01:07:52.719
Yeah. And, yeah. It's more dangerous at work.

01:07:52.760 --> 01:07:55.559
Every person that you walk into when you go down

01:07:55.559 --> 01:07:58.179
to the city has a gun on them. What? You're the

01:07:58.179 --> 01:08:00.239
only guy who doesn't have a gun on them. Probably,

01:08:00.579 --> 01:08:03.639
yes. I like the first time this guy goes to me.

01:08:03.639 --> 01:08:06.599
Ah, fuck. And before it says to me, yeah, he's

01:08:06.599 --> 01:08:08.880
all shocked that this other guy at work, that

01:08:08.880 --> 01:08:11.400
he's at one of his work or at one of his jobs

01:08:11.400 --> 01:08:13.599
where he's a waiter is a faggot. Yeah, true.

01:08:13.599 --> 01:08:17.380
And I'm like, dude, you're a fucking waiter.

01:08:17.659 --> 01:08:20.140
A waiter. It's going to be a lot of games. He's

01:08:20.140 --> 01:08:22.239
like, I couldn't believe it until the guy's going

01:08:22.239 --> 01:08:24.760
to him. I'm gay. And he's like, nah. Come on.

01:08:25.159 --> 01:08:27.520
Hey, Jerry. Hey, not gay. He was like, grunge

01:08:27.520 --> 01:08:31.159
my girlfriend. Grunge my girlfriend? Oh, man.

01:08:32.060 --> 01:08:34.920
I love how you have no gaydar at all. I just

01:08:34.920 --> 01:08:37.039
found out, yeah. He has no gaydar. Our one manager

01:08:37.039 --> 01:08:39.380
at the restaurant. Don Anford living his best

01:08:39.380 --> 01:08:42.060
life. I knew he was gay. Dominic, I knew he was

01:08:42.060 --> 01:08:46.140
gay. He grabbed his nuts. Actually, someone told

01:08:46.140 --> 01:08:49.399
me, but you can tell. He told me too. My friend

01:08:49.399 --> 01:08:54.210
told me. But it's how he was his boyfriend Andrea

01:08:54.210 --> 01:08:57.329
Andrea Andrea, he's a guy but his name is Andrea

01:08:57.329 --> 01:09:00.090
right confused So wait a second. That's his boyfriend

01:09:00.090 --> 01:09:02.329
for food. I didn't know is for nooks working

01:09:02.329 --> 01:09:06.029
in this kitchen No, the other place just to but

01:09:06.029 --> 01:09:08.909
they had other for nooks that I know. Oh, yeah.

01:09:08.909 --> 01:09:10.550
Okay. Yeah, they're for nooks with the other

01:09:10.550 --> 01:09:14.050
place The place that cheated on the booze. They're

01:09:14.050 --> 01:09:16.029
all gone from there, too, by the way. Tell me

01:09:16.029 --> 01:09:19.090
about when you went on vacation with that, too.

01:09:19.310 --> 01:09:22.109
Oh, my God. In Jamaica, it was just a great line,

01:09:22.289 --> 01:09:25.989
too. So this fucking guy wants me to rub him

01:09:25.989 --> 01:09:36.979
down with oil. After he shaved his entire body

01:09:36.979 --> 01:09:42.939
He shaved his entire body in front of you Pretty

01:09:42.939 --> 01:09:45.699
much, yeah What do you mean pretty much? I wasn't

01:09:45.699 --> 01:09:49.920
watching or anything He just stood up in his

01:09:49.920 --> 01:09:54.000
high shorts and started shaving his entire self

01:09:54.000 --> 01:09:59.310
because he was all hairy We were in a room, a

01:09:59.310 --> 01:10:01.909
big room that overlooks the ocean. I am so, wait

01:10:01.909 --> 01:10:04.090
a second. I'm gonna tell you right now. We went

01:10:04.090 --> 01:10:05.930
to Jamaica together. I had no idea it was gonna

01:10:05.930 --> 01:10:06.909
be a honeymoon place. Wait, you went to Jamaica

01:10:06.909 --> 01:10:10.350
together with this dude? I didn't realize it

01:10:10.350 --> 01:10:12.569
was such a romantic place, Jamaica, you know.

01:10:12.930 --> 01:10:15.170
What do you mean? You went to a fucking, you

01:10:15.170 --> 01:10:18.829
got one fucking bedroom hotel with a dude. What

01:10:18.829 --> 01:10:20.510
did you think was gonna happen? No, there was

01:10:20.510 --> 01:10:22.930
two beds. Oh, on top of each other, like bunk

01:10:22.930 --> 01:10:25.170
beds? No, no, one bed and one bed with this cheap

01:10:25.170 --> 01:10:27.770
little foam mattress. Foam, fucking nowhere condition.

01:10:27.770 --> 01:10:29.130
They figure you're gonna stack them. Okay, me

01:10:29.130 --> 01:10:31.449
and Danny and Fourth, I swear to God, this episode,

01:10:31.689 --> 01:10:32.810
I wish we could do two episodes. So anyways,

01:10:33.250 --> 01:10:35.289
he wants me to, and I, of course, just kinda

01:10:35.289 --> 01:10:37.510
flip out and whatever, then I don't know. But

01:10:37.510 --> 01:10:40.520
did you rub him? No, of course not. You just

01:10:40.520 --> 01:10:43.300
kissed him. But then I was there, walking around,

01:10:43.520 --> 01:10:45.079
and I just... Wait a second, did you have to

01:10:45.079 --> 01:10:47.140
go back to the room? No, he came out buck naked

01:10:47.140 --> 01:10:49.140
when he wanted you to rub him down. Oh, see,

01:10:49.439 --> 01:10:50.560
do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No,

01:10:50.880 --> 01:10:52.420
I mean, buck naked. Wait a second. All right,

01:10:52.760 --> 01:10:54.939
slow the fuck down. No, no, it wasn't like that.

01:10:55.079 --> 01:10:58.090
Okay, wait a second. Come on. We didn't do that,

01:10:58.170 --> 01:11:00.470
no. Coming from the guy with the liar. No, he

01:11:00.470 --> 01:11:02.210
wasn't gay. He actually got a good girl. He took

01:11:02.210 --> 01:11:04.289
her. He had a Jamaican prostitute with him. Not

01:11:04.289 --> 01:11:06.689
a good look at all. Yeah, he was with a girl

01:11:06.689 --> 01:11:09.270
anyway. So he's got Asian eyes. He wasn't gay.

01:11:09.850 --> 01:11:12.289
He wasn't gay. You know what I mean? Being shocked

01:11:12.289 --> 01:11:16.869
by this and thinking that he's so gay, I just

01:11:16.869 --> 01:11:19.789
troubled her. I perplexed her. I'm on the beach

01:11:19.789 --> 01:11:21.710
and these girls goes, are you okay? I'm like,

01:11:21.789 --> 01:11:23.109
man, you know, I just came with a friend from

01:11:23.109 --> 01:11:26.300
work and... Man, he made a move on me. I think

01:11:26.300 --> 01:11:29.119
he might be gay. And they're like, oh, you poor

01:11:29.119 --> 01:11:32.119
thing. You can come stay with us. I know, but

01:11:32.119 --> 01:11:35.119
wait a second. I'm still confused though. So

01:11:35.119 --> 01:11:37.859
this man, you were staying in a hotel room. Wait,

01:11:38.000 --> 01:11:39.720
let me stop later for a second. You flew out

01:11:39.720 --> 01:11:42.140
there to Jamaica with this man. Both of you shared

01:11:42.140 --> 01:11:44.500
one room with two beds. This guy comes out of

01:11:44.500 --> 01:11:47.880
the shower, shaving himself. Yeah, pretty much,

01:11:47.899 --> 01:11:53.060
yeah. Okay, first of all, do you know how shaving

01:11:53.060 --> 01:11:55.979
works? Like, you have to be underwater, you just

01:11:55.979 --> 01:11:57.859
can't run on it. He had an electric razor. No,

01:11:57.960 --> 01:11:59.479
he was electric razoring his entire body. Oh,

01:11:59.720 --> 01:12:02.439
he was electric razoring? This guy's a real fucking

01:12:02.439 --> 01:12:03.600
sadist, dude. He was standing there with the

01:12:03.600 --> 01:12:05.920
electric razor in his whole body. He was this

01:12:05.920 --> 01:12:08.699
big hulking Greek guy. He was like some kind

01:12:08.699 --> 01:12:12.420
of, you know, one of the Greek gods. Yeah, you

01:12:12.420 --> 01:12:15.649
were his little Nero, weren't you? And... No,

01:12:16.210 --> 01:12:18.810
he was actually a handsome dude, man. He was.

01:12:18.930 --> 01:12:20.529
He really was. Dude, I mean, you should just

01:12:20.529 --> 01:12:26.510
stop talking right now. I'm okay. No, I'm not.

01:12:30.010 --> 01:12:31.750
Anyways... Well, we both want him getting laid

01:12:31.750 --> 01:12:35.770
by girls, man, okay? So he gets this young black

01:12:35.770 --> 01:12:40.350
Jamaican girl, and I... go to All Inclusive Resort

01:12:40.350 --> 01:12:43.210
with these three other chicks and let me stay

01:12:43.210 --> 01:12:45.890
with them because I'm there with a gay guy. So

01:12:45.890 --> 01:12:48.069
I'm at the All Inclusive Resort with these, yeah,

01:12:48.149 --> 01:12:50.810
I slept with one of them. And he's Greek. Do

01:12:50.810 --> 01:12:52.350
you know what they have tendencies to do? I know.

01:12:53.529 --> 01:12:55.130
All this was going through my head while I'm

01:12:55.130 --> 01:12:56.890
there. I'm like, oh my God, what have I done?

01:12:57.130 --> 01:12:59.289
What's this, what's, you know? But whatever.

01:12:59.510 --> 01:13:00.909
It turned out to be a pretty good time all in

01:13:00.909 --> 01:13:03.409
all. Yeah, and the ass sex wasn't as rough as

01:13:03.409 --> 01:13:07.279
they say. They have good insurance. Andre. He

01:13:07.279 --> 01:13:09.239
was a lot of fun, actually. These guys, they

01:13:09.239 --> 01:13:11.000
were so fucking rich. They lived in, I think,

01:13:11.199 --> 01:13:13.020
Morton Grove. Dude, I went to his house once.

01:13:13.119 --> 01:13:15.859
It was a mansion, to say, a ranch. It was a mansion.

01:13:15.859 --> 01:13:17.880
So you went to his house once, and then you went

01:13:17.880 --> 01:13:20.479
on vacation with him. And he was a waiter, and

01:13:20.479 --> 01:13:22.439
you didn't know he was a faggot. No, this guy

01:13:22.439 --> 01:13:24.640
was the bar manager at the Hyatt. But he was

01:13:24.640 --> 01:13:27.729
gay. No, no, he wasn't gay. He was not gay. Only

01:13:27.729 --> 01:13:31.529
with you. How were you? What was the relation

01:13:31.529 --> 01:13:34.189
between you and the guy that you went to Jamaica

01:13:34.189 --> 01:13:36.989
with? He was the bar manager, and I was the cook.

01:13:37.010 --> 01:13:39.949
So he was gay then? He just said, so he was gay.

01:13:40.470 --> 01:13:42.350
He wasn't gay. He's a bar manager doesn't mean

01:13:42.350 --> 01:13:44.850
he's gay. You just told us he was gay. You said

01:13:44.850 --> 01:13:47.270
you wanted me to rub oil on him. That doesn't

01:13:47.270 --> 01:13:50.930
mean he's gay. Are you fucking kidding me? If

01:13:50.930 --> 01:13:53.850
Larry asked me to rub oil on him, I would punch

01:13:53.850 --> 01:14:01.140
him so hard. I thought you might be gay, but

01:14:01.140 --> 01:14:03.159
that doesn't mean you're gay. Maybe you just

01:14:03.159 --> 01:14:06.680
want someone to rub. Well, I'm shaving my body.

01:14:06.899 --> 01:14:09.220
But I wasn't going to do it because I'm not gay.

01:14:10.479 --> 01:14:12.800
But he's shaving his body in front of you. Maybe

01:14:12.800 --> 01:14:14.840
he was gay. I don't know. Look at my dick and

01:14:14.840 --> 01:14:17.800
my balls while I shave it. And then, did he show

01:14:17.800 --> 01:14:20.739
you his ass? No. Oh, okay. Well, that's good.

01:14:20.739 --> 01:14:23.220
Did he say, hey, check my ass? Did I miss a spot?

01:14:23.239 --> 01:14:25.520
Yeah, look at my grumble. Did something miss

01:14:25.520 --> 01:14:29.069
it? No, no. No? No, it was just all the cool

01:14:29.069 --> 01:14:31.989
boys being boys, right? No. No, I'm not rubbing

01:14:31.989 --> 01:14:33.630
all your lines, you're broke. No, I laughed.

01:14:33.630 --> 01:14:35.130
Why don't you go out and have fun and then I'm

01:14:35.130 --> 01:14:37.250
gonna sleep in this bed next to you. Well, no,

01:14:37.350 --> 01:14:39.130
man, thank goodness, too, there were these other

01:14:39.130 --> 01:14:41.710
not -gay guys. I love how he has to say that.

01:14:41.750 --> 01:14:45.270
From Wisconsin, they didn't know where to stay.

01:14:45.609 --> 01:14:48.590
So they get in the taxi with us, because Andres

01:14:48.590 --> 01:14:49.970
says, I know where you can stay. Stay with us

01:14:49.970 --> 01:14:51.270
at this place. Meet us at this resort. You'll

01:14:51.270 --> 01:14:52.710
love it there and everything. I don't even notice

01:14:52.710 --> 01:14:54.890
that one guy's got a limp is all I see. I see

01:14:54.890 --> 01:14:56.470
the guy limps. OK, one guy's got a limp, whatever,

01:14:56.529 --> 01:14:59.050
no big deal. So the next morning I realized these

01:14:59.050 --> 01:15:01.250
guys are swimming off the cliff and there's this

01:15:01.250 --> 01:15:06.470
big giant prosthetic leg... laying there on the

01:15:06.470 --> 01:15:09.510
fucking rocks by the water because one of the

01:15:09.510 --> 01:15:12.050
dudes had a... prosthetic leg. You have to take

01:15:12.050 --> 01:15:15.069
it off to swim. Nobody had a prosthetic leg and

01:15:15.069 --> 01:15:18.810
there was one up there. Right. Okay. This is

01:15:18.810 --> 01:15:22.350
disturbing now to start my vacation off. This

01:15:22.350 --> 01:15:25.430
is disturbing coming from a guy who copes heroin

01:15:25.430 --> 01:15:27.770
on the west side. This is a disturbing way. But

01:15:27.770 --> 01:15:30.090
it's so pirate -like, you know, the missing leg

01:15:30.090 --> 01:15:32.909
thing. Yeah, and the dude wasn't gay, but the

01:15:32.909 --> 01:15:35.649
leg was gay. The leg only wanted to kiss me.

01:15:35.649 --> 01:15:37.909
Man, I make a nice carving for that leg, man.

01:15:37.949 --> 01:15:41.000
We get you a nice... You know, applewood carving

01:15:41.000 --> 01:15:43.020
for that day. Watch out for those people. Make

01:15:43.020 --> 01:15:45.279
a nice pedding. Shut it down. If you're leaving,

01:15:45.399 --> 01:15:48.760
Larry. So they had broke foot man. All right,

01:15:48.840 --> 01:15:51.659
we're leaving. All right. Thanks for tuning in,

01:15:51.680 --> 01:15:53.539
everybody. What are we leaving to? What are we

01:15:53.539 --> 01:15:56.260
leaving? We want to thank Don Anfield. The liar.

01:15:56.659 --> 01:16:00.579
The Don of comedy. The Don of lies. I'm not done,

01:16:00.800 --> 01:16:03.659
dude. I'm not done lying. All right. So while

01:16:03.659 --> 01:16:07.029
we're there, he was a broke foot man. Broke -foot

01:16:07.029 --> 01:16:09.869
man, then I met the one -armed man the guy head

01:16:09.869 --> 01:16:11.569
when I I couldn't meeting all these people with

01:16:11.569 --> 01:16:20.930
deformities The hunchback Perverts to light A

01:16:20.930 --> 01:16:23.310
bunch of weirdos you're taking advantage and

01:16:23.310 --> 01:16:27.810
that was pre -internet Like a perverts the light

01:16:27.810 --> 01:16:29.430
there's a dude with the hunchback the one -armed

01:16:29.430 --> 01:16:31.310
man broke -foot man was dude we were staying

01:16:31.310 --> 01:16:33.670
with They went around the whole island on their

01:16:33.670 --> 01:16:35.489
motorcycles and I asked you how'd you lose that

01:16:35.489 --> 01:16:39.739
leg? In a motorcycle accident. Yeah. And they

01:16:39.739 --> 01:16:41.579
go around the whole fucking island on motorcycles.

01:16:41.939 --> 01:16:44.319
That's how I'm going to lose my leg. He's a hopscotch

01:16:44.319 --> 01:16:46.380
accident. That would have been better. We thought

01:16:46.380 --> 01:16:48.920
we were in a shitty spot. We thought we were

01:16:48.920 --> 01:16:52.220
always fucking pretty shitty. It took them three

01:16:52.220 --> 01:16:53.880
days to go around the whole island. And they

01:16:53.880 --> 01:16:56.439
came back. Because it was better than anywhere

01:16:56.439 --> 01:16:59.359
else on the fucking island. Yeah, you think?

01:16:59.359 --> 01:17:01.060
So you were in the best spot? We were in the

01:17:01.060 --> 01:17:03.420
best spot, it turns out, yeah. Oh, thank God

01:17:03.420 --> 01:17:05.300
you guys are still here. Where's the best spot?

01:17:05.420 --> 01:17:08.020
We were in the grill. But now it's not the best

01:17:08.020 --> 01:17:09.880
spot because the whole beach is gone. What do

01:17:09.880 --> 01:17:12.300
you mean it's gone? They had a seven mile beach,

01:17:12.300 --> 01:17:14.380
dude. There was a beach seven miles long. Oh,

01:17:14.460 --> 01:17:17.960
sounds like Israel. There was sand, beautiful

01:17:17.960 --> 01:17:20.460
white sand, dude. Like let's say from the hotel

01:17:20.460 --> 01:17:23.899
or restaurant thing. There was beautiful white

01:17:23.899 --> 01:17:27.890
sand. 200 yards before the water. That's pretty

01:17:27.890 --> 01:17:30.229
nice. Before the water. Then you could walk out

01:17:30.229 --> 01:17:32.270
to the water up to your fucking knees for another

01:17:32.270 --> 01:17:34.229
quarter mile. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's

01:17:34.229 --> 01:17:35.590
like Salt Lake City Utah. That's how they get

01:17:35.590 --> 01:17:37.069
you. It was fucking beautiful. That's how they

01:17:37.069 --> 01:17:41.289
get you. It's all gone. That 200 yards of sand.

01:17:41.529 --> 01:17:43.409
They used to have hardies there at night. What

01:17:43.409 --> 01:17:45.689
happened? Hey, quit rubbing your knee on me,

01:17:45.890 --> 01:17:49.770
homo. Just poor planting, poor erosion. Poor

01:17:49.770 --> 01:17:52.949
planting. Yeah, everything. It's just gone. And

01:17:52.949 --> 01:17:54.989
they would have like, you know, shows at night

01:17:54.989 --> 01:17:57.090
on that sand, and people walking around selling

01:17:57.090 --> 01:18:00.130
things on the sand. There was tons of room. Dude,

01:18:00.250 --> 01:18:02.350
it's all gone. Now from the restaurant, I went

01:18:02.350 --> 01:18:06.649
to Legends, where there's the deck, and it was

01:18:06.649 --> 01:18:08.930
like literally four feet, and there was the ocean.

01:18:09.210 --> 01:18:11.369
What is he talking about? All that sand was gone.

01:18:11.369 --> 01:18:13.529
Larry, what is he talking about? Seven mile beach

01:18:13.529 --> 01:18:15.229
in the group. And ladies and gentlemen, with

01:18:15.229 --> 01:18:18.550
that, that's the erosion of our world. It's gone.

01:18:18.689 --> 01:18:20.869
Yeah, okay. You're gone. Our world is enroding.

01:18:21.850 --> 01:18:23.909
And, uh, you know what to do. Love you guys.

01:18:24.010 --> 01:18:25.590
Yeah, thanks for tuning in. If you listen this

01:18:25.590 --> 01:18:29.890
long, fuck. Say bye, man.