time to get ready for the Larry and Needle show.
Larry and
Larry
Hey everybody, welcome to the Larry and Needle show. I'm Larry. I'm Needle. I'm Kiki.
Oh wait, so you, we didn't have to do a test again? We just, you just learned? Yeah, no we did test.
If there's anything wrong with the audio, please, please leave a comment because fucking Larry has been a high-end.
This is almost like, I think, our 150th or something episode. Switch the camera. Switch the camera.
And I just got the sound down, I think. And I want to say before we get started, today is my mom's birthday. Happy birthday, mom. Happy birthday.
Happy birthday. This will be finished hopefully up online so we can watch it with the whole family tonight at your birthday. Hopefully she has a heart attack when you come out of the closet.
But that'll be okay. Are you going to watch the whole family, huh? Yeah. Aren't they lucky. Well, you know what's funny is like any holiday like this when I walk.
Holiday, Larry. Well, when it's a family. It's close enough to holiday. Yeah. It's a birthday. Sometimes they're already watching it when I walk in.
Oh, man. Good news. What? Started work on the script for the sniffer. Nice. Nice. It's about. I think I know what it's about.
It's about an up and becoming lonely boy who's got a penchant for sniffing ladies underwear. And he's Nemesis, the FBI agent.
And this guy's just a serial sniffer. Hopefully we'll be in production by 2026. I hope so. It's going to be very, very low budget and low brow.
Shall I say? This guy does have a proclivity and he's everything. He's on a mission. He's on a mission. He's in a funuk.
So, uh, I know we'll get working on that. And then maybe I'm going to do, I want to do like a rough, like not like a table read where I just do one scene.
We'll just do like a two or three minute scene. So maybe we could have. I'm excited. I'm looking forward to it. Maybe a table read with some lucky listeners.
No, we're not inviting any of the listeners to the house. You can do it remote, but let me tell you. Yeah. If they're, if they like us, then I don't want them here.
Yeah, that's going to be scary. Yeah. What a groucho martis to say. Any club that'll have me. I don't want to be a member.
Yeah. If they'll have me. I don't want to be a part of it. Unless a certain lady wants to donate something to the movie. Absolutely.
Oh, yes. Donations are totally. I mean, listen, I don't trust anybody. I'm more hands on if you get my drift. It could be just a man getting a can of tuna and sneered it on.
I don't want nothing sent in. Excuse my apologies. My constituents. Yeah.
I thought you were looking for donations. That our first rodeo here. Yeah. Well, donations, but they got to hand them in.
Oh, well, you want to see it in person. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. I want to take it off. And then we'll give you accolades in the movie.
Panny pair number 39. Yeah.
You'll see it in the Ziploc bag with your name on it or 40 defense. All right. I got something in the schedule this morning. You guys are going to love this.
Okay. Whenever they come in. So I'm like on the outskirts of the outskirts of town for work. And it's like fucking 530 in the morning.
And I pulled into this gas station this morning. And so you set up the glory home. Yeah.
Before quick buck here from the glory hall. That's a good time. 530 in the morning. Yeah. It's because it's just it's not dark out completely.
It's still, you know what I mean? Yeah. The silhouette. Very romantic. Very romantic. And what do you call it? Yeah, there's nothing more romantic than a hole in a wall and a truck stop.
Juliet. Yeah. 530. Let me tell you that really exudes fucking romance. Yeah. And so I've got pulled into this gas station and dude, I walk in and the first thing I see it looks like the guy selling mog wise.
You know what that is? It's like a gizmo. I was just going to say that. It's like a gremlin shop. It's like an old Asian guy. Oh wait a minute. This is just a shop. All right.
I'm going to have to get the gong out for this story. Yeah. So it looks like the guy selling fucking mog wise and the fucking half of it. And then it looks like a fucking screaming dragon blasted a hello kitty.
And it was like Times Square and it was just like so one half was like this like a fucking Chinese. This is a store. Yeah, it was a gas station. And it's set up like.
Okay, okay. No, it's a truck stop. No, no, no, it was just a gas station. Oh, just a gas station. Yeah, no, I was joking about being in a glory.
Real faith. Real friend you are. I don't want you to ever have to interrogate you. You're the wrong guy in a race game. We didn't say that, sir.
Well, he is. So I swear to God, this guy selling mog wise on one side and then the other side. What is that mog wise now for real? Have you never seen that movie? No.
No, I've seen gremlins. No. Dude, it's a little fair. Should I do this now? It's been a while. Okay, so man, so this movie is gremlins. It's from the 80s. All right.
Great movie. So what happens is these midgets, they live at these black midgets and they live in the hood. Yeah, okay. And they drink the water there. And I mean, it's unfiltered water.
I mean, this is like, I think it was the tribes and shit. Yeah, they were by the GM building in Michigan. So then what happens is, is that these little midgets, they start giving birth to other little midgets and they're gremlins.
You know what I mean? So it's, but they are the worst. Like, do you ever see baby's kids? Yeah. See, there we go. Look at that. So like during the daytime, they all you're saying they steal, but during the nighttime, they steal.
I don't believe you. So I know that every movie is explained to me before. So listen, hey, what the fuck? Okay. But she and Cisco talk for a minute over here.
So you drink the water and then they fucking make all these other little little nigglets. I don't know. Okay. That's a scientific term. So then, but each one's worse than the next one.
Oh, man, let me tell you, one of them bites and then the other just one just shoots and the other one, you know, and they're really good looking too.
So it gets, he's joking about that. One guy's got one eye, one guy's got three eyes. One guy's lips are so big, you can't get through the door.
And you know, a wonky teeth.
Yeah. So then basically, these gremlins, they're like, they say what's happening and they're like, hey, we don't have enough bone, we don't have enough EBT cards for all these guys and snap benefits and we don't have section eight housing for them.
So eventually there's nowhere for them to live. Well, no, Patriot Front comes in.
But this is an offshoot of Patriot Front. This is an OG Patriot.
Yeah, this is because this was the 80s. Let's get back to the gas station.
So, um, what do you call it? So like I said, one, one, there's only gremlins over here.
Yeah, magwys on one side fucking. Literally, it looks like a Chinese dragon ran into a Hello Kitty and it was just like, just like exploded.
Dude, I swear to God, they were fucking MK Ultra and me when I went in there.
Well, Hello Kitty's MK Ultra.
Well, no, but it was like, you know, the fucking music that they play, like, and then the lights are all flashing on me.
So they're like, it's all like little pins and things.
Yeah, next thing you know, you're walking up to the counter with a bunch of weird fucking rice hat on and I'm fucking working for the enemy.
So then I like look at I'm looking for this guy. Where do you think he is? And I'm not lying.
Where do you think he is? In the back room.
Doing what? Squatting.
That's all I was going to say, taking a shit.
No, no, no, no, no. I think he just got in from a heater and he was doing his post heater squat.
Yeah, yeah. He's relaxed.
Because I could like, oh, I gotta get up.
Yeah, dude, because I can, I'm looking, I think this guy's going to look like Kung Fu or something.
You know what I mean? And first of all, what the fuck is the enemy doing this deep far into our lines?
Well, I mean, come on, this is the number one question.
This is Biden's America.
No, this is not Biden's America. I mean, this fucking guy is stealing nuclear fucking codes and sending them back to the motherland.
Well, he's sending them back with them gremlins.
So fucking Ching Chong comes up to the register.
Very humble.
And what do you call him?
He looks at me like I'm doing him a disservice.
Right.
You're giving him money, but he doesn't want to get off his ass.
Listen, I don't know if you're taking care of fucking catfishing a baby pool back there or you're fucking bagging heroin.
Like, come on, fucking move it together, pops. Let's get this going.
Exactly. I need smokes, motherfucker.
Yeah, it's like...
I'm on my way to work here.
I mean, and you know what? I probably shouldn't have been smoking him from the enemy shop.
I should have had some inclination to be...
Yeah, that's what he's doing back here. He's rolling them to the subway.
Oh, I should have just been like the stars at night. A big game, right?
They give a different shit, man.
Deep in the heart attack. Deep in the heart attack.
I should have called ice on him.
You know, they probably have a list. What is the white, hetero male cut...
You know, what's their favorite brands of cigarettes?
And then they get those cartons shipped from the enemy behind enemy lines.
Okay, and?
And then you come in and buy them and who knows what the fuck the smoke is.
Yeah, like the Marlboro's spelt wrong.
I hate to tell you that you're all dying from Chinese smokes right now.
You know, speaking of those...
So wait a second.
Keep going.
Just give me a couple more.
Keep going.
This isn't going to go too long.
So, fucking Squatty McGregor roll.
Finally, you know, I look at him and he's like looking at me like I'm speaking Chinese.
They're usually not lazy.
Huh?
They're usually not that lazy.
Well, I mean, he only walked like 10 foot. I couldn't really tell if he was lazy.
I couldn't assess him that much.
Well, he's become Americanized.
Yeah.
He did his hands though. They did not look like he was going to kill anybody lately.
He definitely didn't look like the enemy.
Not like that tunnel rat.
Oh, I don't even want to talk about that.
So then this fucking guy, I'm like talking to him and he's like looking at me and I'm
just like, yeah, okay, get cigarettes.
You stop talking now.
He won't then.
You stop talking.
This guy's trying to sell me some fucking Hello Kitty shit.
I'm like, listen dude.
I'm like, I already got one asshole in my life that likes to wear the enemy shit around his neck.
I don't need to bring another listening device into the fucking basement.
So basically, huh?
I know.
It's alright though.
Keeps the gay away.
So what do you call it?
Yeah, I got MKLGed by Hello Kitty shit.
Yeah, no.
So this shit's just fucking...
But it was on some little young Asian girl.
And it's like full-hold chiming.
My wife bought me a Hello Kitty guitar.
But what do you call it?
So this fucking, it's like you're standing there and the guy's like acting stupid so the fucking,
the gook waves can fucking get into me because I'm standing so close to the fucking, the wall of nip on.
You know what I mean?
That's dangerous.
Blasting at me.
That's like standing too close to the microwave.
Some of them...
No, I mean you want to talk about Nagasaki and Buramshima.
Similiar.
We can talk about getting into the microwave.
But what do you call it?
So like, dude, and some of the paws are fucking moving and shit's like moving all over the place.
They got those little cats in one block.
Yeah, like they put the money in there or something.
I don't know what, but some of them were just moving and it was just like, dude, it was just like...
Every Chinese restaurant you go to.
Mary went and loved it.
Oh, dude, if you had done paparazzi, you'd be gay in four seconds.
That's what it would do to you.
It just automatically turns you fucking gay.
But, um, so...
I think I've been brainwashed.
Well, you have.
I mean, I want wonton soup and I want some fucking, what do you call it, some beef and broccoli.
See, well, when we were driving in here, I got a whiff of Chinese food in your car past and the windows were open.
Man, I wouldn't eat Chinese food.
That's a dead hooker in the trunk.
That makes sense.
It ends up...
Chinese food is fucking gross, man.
It's not even real Chinese food.
Oh, it's just good though.
Dude, they eat like Wuhan shit, dude, wet market stuff.
That's a fucking bat and pog and whatever the fuck they do.
You want to talk about some heavy, heavy duty conspiracy?
No, not at all.
Okay, here we go.
Hunter Biden.
Paintings, right?
He's got these paintings that burned up.
Did you know this in the fire?
We talked about it in the chat the other day.
Wait a minute.
We did?
Yeah, the fire is the burnt...
So basically, Hunter Biden...
Okay, first of all, we already talked about this.
The conspiracy is before it happens.
This has already been put into fruition.
Yeah.
So it's done being a conspiracy.
But in four days his paintings will be worthless.
Well, did you know what they were made with?
Blood and excrement?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And other heinous stuff like that?
Yeah, yeah, he made fucking paintings with shit with his own...
Yeah, that's what that's what I'm talking about.
Hunter Hunter's pretty tailed.
I mean, he's just saying you're an idiot because you don't know what excrement means.
Whatever, suck it, dick.
What a fucking baggett.
Hey, dummy, this is what it means.
I got to be some kind of fucking...
So am I ineligible there?
So here's the thing, you know, I'm sure he had insurance on these fucking paintings
that are going to be worthless as soon as dad leaves office.
It's just already funny.
Of all the things they fucking type in the newspaper about the fires,
Hunter Biden loses his paintings.
Come on.
No, but you know what I'm saying?
No one is like, yeah.
He's fucking going to do an insurance scam.
He's already got his blanket fucking hardened.
But listen, here's the deal though.
You don't even hear some guy being like,
I lost all my collectible cars that are not...
You know what I mean?
Like, oh, my paintings are gone.
Yeah.
Yes, he's propping himself up.
Because he's already sold them for like half the money.
No, he's propping himself up for insurance.
All the paintings are.
His fucking nigga just got fucking pardoned.
And he's already getting ready to do another crime.
If I were to be honest, his paintings actually weren't that bad.
They weren't good at all.
They suck.
They weren't good.
Malcolm has a painting from Cheetah, the monkey from Tarzan.
I was just about to say that.
It's better than Hunter's fucking painting.
Here's another thing.
I'm more of a giant, but that's the point.
The paintings really are like a coupon for you to fucking...
Look at that.
Show that I paid for this painting from you.
Dude, it's money laundering at the most extreme.
But it's gonna be worthless in a minute.
No, but think about this, Larry.
It's money laundering at the greatest extreme
because who dictates the value of these paintings?
Motherfuckers had sold them.
And there's the other thing.
And stuff like that.
He was an unknown painter and all of a sudden the motherfucker has...
He wasn't unknown.
Oh, come on, man.
He made gallery shows and shit.
Yeah.
He made 300 paintings in a month because any asshole could do that.
Yeah, just like Michael Angelou.
You know, it's not like he could paint a picture of a woven basket, you know.
Here's something that looks real.
Hunter on canvas on 13-year-old.
Yeah.
Exactly.
He's got that one on his laptop.
Oh, man.
But no, so yeah, this fucking guy, I mean, he's fucking...
So you're going back to this gas station every day now, right?
Well, you have to.
You have to go there for smokes, right?
Well, hopefully I'm going to slip a guy's note and be like, hey, then they will go to
the train in the back.
Well, all of a sudden you're going to fire every morning, you'll be driving, and all
of a sudden you're going to...
You're just going to be going there.
There's drives right there.
What the fuck?
Why am I here again?
Yeah, so shout out to fucking Woon Tsang Hu or whatever that guy's name was.
He is a very honorable shop.
Brainwashing me this time.
So, most of you guys have driven across country, right?
Yes.
Several times.
Okay, we didn't ask.
With and without my family, his family vacation, his kids, which was the best time.
He visited all the boys' towns and everything.
Yeah.
Oh, man, I was with my parents.
But you don't go into these truck stops.
That's what they're like, no, but that's what's like...
Oh, that's fun shit.
You go in these truck stops, all of a sudden there's food and shit, then all of a sudden
there's a bunch of fucking machetes.
Yeah, all these guys, craters.
You're like, wow, why do they shell this shit?
Because it's legal.
That's what they do.
They get out of state.
And they know that a kid from out of state is going to see them.
You're like, dad, I want to switch like, dad, I want to switch like...
Dude, I want to switch like...
Fucking ninja stars.
Yeah.
I want ninja stars.
I swear I won't throw them in my brother's face.
Yeah, exactly.
But the amount of shit, the knickknacks and all the weird shit...
Yeah, Larry's basement.
Yeah.
This should be a truck stop.
We got the glory hole and we got all the knickknacks are ready.
We can take it in a portable glory hole.
We can take it on the road.
So that...
Right behind you.
You know what I was thinking about, and man, I just...
I can't fucking...
Sometimes it just can't stop.
So you ever see those videos with the...
Yeah.
...the Ukraine where they're dropping the bombs on the soldiers from the drones.
And they show them.
All I was thinking was Larry with his pants down on his ass.
Yeah.
So I went...
Shaking it.
It's just like, it's this guy again.
They just told me to drop.
I was dying about that.
Dude, you ever see...
It was really killing me.
I'm glad you're thinking about me.
You're gonna get marked to do a...
Oh, yeah, I can tell you.
There you go.
Do you ever see those videos?
Now where the guys just sit there all confident and just like,
kicks the thing away as it drops.
It's like, having a heater.
Wait, wait.
Oh, no, the drone...
The drone's got a camera of them dropping like...
I don't know if it's grenade or what it drops on.
It's got a armament on it.
And the guys just lay in there on the ground.
What's it called?
An outlaw.
It's with a D.
What's it called?
All right.
No good hung up on the name.
But he drops it down and the guys just sit there as it comes down.
He kicks it and it just goes away and blows up like right in front of him.
The drone blows up?
No, the drone drops the bomb.
How hard is this to understand?
I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
The drone is a camera.
He looks like the Chinese guy from the shop this morning.
Yeah, hey.
You can get him that Foo Man Chumas.
Fucking dink-mic idiot.
But no, there's a Russian soldier in a dugout.
I didn't know it was a Russian soldier.
No, a Russian soldier's laying on the ground in a little hole.
It's a hole.
So it's worth it.
And he's sitting there, got his gun set, smoking a heater, just laying there looking up at the drone.
The drone has the camera, drops his grenade, the Russian soldier just lifts up his foot.
The timing's off.
The time kicks it as it comes in and it just shoots over to where the chair is, blows up,
and he doesn't even flinch.
And then the drone can't do nothing because it only had one fucking chair.
Sure, one payload.
But then there's other ones too, it drops it on the gun, a guy grabs it, just throws it.
Like it's an everyday routine.
Well, you gotta do something quick.
Because fucking this guy has things dropped back.
Russia's our biggest enemy right now.
But yeah, it's crazy.
Dude, Russia is not our biggest enemy.
What are you talking about?
Isn't it China and shit?
No, that's...
So Russia, Russia, we've been brainwashed with Russia since we were little kids.
So I can't believe that Russia's bad.
The left wants you to believe.
The right wants you to believe that China's the bad guy and the left wants you to believe
that Russia's the bad guy.
I got this dope ass Russian fucking uniform that says Russia's pretty cool.
It says Russia's pretty cool on it.
It's not quite Hugo Boss cool, but...
I just want to step down.
I don't have a Nazi uniform.
Nazi jacket, sorry.
Come on.
You have it.
It's just saying a Nazi jacket.
Your other one.
No, there's nothing wrong with that one.
Man, you are a dummy sometimes.
You thought I was talking about that jacket, a Nazi jacket?
Yeah, you definitely were hanging out with fucking Hirschfeld at that tranny clinic.
That's what it was.
But no, so...
That's the Boys Town Battalion jacket.
Oh yeah.
This is a rear-hand roll.
We're picking on Larry today.
Ah, shit.
Yeah, we've been picking on him all fucking day.
I didn't do it on camera.
Oh, what's the next door?
Oh, okay.
How about fucking Biden's little farewell speech?
The fuck was that?
Did you see him?
No, I don't watch TV.
I'm crying on TV.
I saw it.
I watched it.
And it made you stupid.
I wanted to see him at the watch.
It made you so much more stupid.
He was talking about like dark money and like how...
Dark money?
Trump is all dark money.
I know me.
African-American.
Yeah, I did it just...
You should just add living shit in there.
Yeah.
I don't know where he's at.
No, no, no.
I told him he was going to get real at that.
Yeah, I mean, I honestly...
You guys want to get into that shit.
No, I honestly believe...
Let's do get into that.
Fuck the speech that he made.
Did you know what...
I think he's been dead since like 2018 or even before.
Well, dead in his mind.
Well, possibly like a replacement is there and he is actually dead.
Well, here's the deal.
You know what?
I was thinking about this the other day.
And people are like, how can people keep a secret about 9-11 and all this other stuff?
But then I liken it to, hey, the first time when I was born, the first fucking thing that
I was told is that Santa Claus was real.
And other parents kept their mouths shut.
Everybody, nobody...
If you told somebody's kid that Santa...
You'd get fucking...
After a couple of schlitzes, you'd get slapped around, you know?
So it's like...
I can completely see like...
I can liken it to that where it's like...
Okay?
So if these people are willing to lie like that, that's the first program and we get as...
You get as adults and as children.
And then you can take it as crazy and then it gets crazier.
Easter Bunny.
Well, but it's all the same shit.
Yeah, once you get the big one out...
Tooth Fairy.
Once you get the big one, you know what I mean?
The big one out is that's what you want.
The other little ones...
No, no, Santa Claus.
Now you talk about the Moon landing, now you're talking about 9-11.
Well, the Moon landing was one that the government made the fucking adult.
The fucking adults of that generation believed.
They put it on the TV.
Yeah, and every generation...
The Challenger.
All the fucking cause trauma.
That was my brother's birthday.
January 28th, whatever fucking year, 1980.
They just want to...
They love traumatizing us.
They really do.
Alright, thanks for the...
Okay, shout out to North Shore Nick.
86, yeah, North Shore Nick.
He was born in 1985.
No, no, no.
That we were...
It was his birthday and we were getting high watching the Challenger blow off the room.
Yeah, you all knew about it.
Yeah, no, he fucking...
So that's all that more shit like you were saying, okay?
So now they put this guy in front of us that one time he's really tall, then another time
something looks weird about him and it's like they're just doing this to fuck with us.
And here's the thing, the way they keep the secret...
Like, when it's that cat...
Manhattan Project.
Or when it's a secret that caliber long...
Fuck it, don't all those people...
It's like, we're gonna kill your family.
Yeah, and it's like, okay, I'll keep this damn secret.
And they do kill a couple...
And then there's a couple rogues and they kill those motherfuckers or someone close to them.
And then the rest of the people fall right in line.
Well, yeah, if you work for Boeing...
Yeah, it's like, hey, I don't want my mom or my family or my fucking, you know, kids or my...
I don't even want my pets to get killed by these fuckers.
Well, that's why when they want...
Yeah, right.
When you join these fucking three letter agencies, they want you to not have a family, be fucking
a loner, do all...
You know what I mean?
Yeah, they love guys that are typical serial killers.
Well, yeah, nobody's the wiser.
Nobody's asking questions about it.
We're having a bill.
Oh, he's in Cuba for the next two months.
Yeah, and they forget about him.
Yeah, so it's all...
The funny thing is...
Yeah, Bill got killed in Cuba.
Yeah, it's exactly.
I was fucking whatever.
I mean, at least come up with something cool.
You know, he might fight in a tranny in Colombia.
That's how I fucking write that on my tool.
What do you got here?
Some flavor?
Yeah, I want to tell a part.
It's so good.
I wouldn't take anything from his fingers if you can't...
Get the fuck out.
I'm as clean as could be.
Well, if I keel over in a couple of minutes, we know why.
Well, watch out.
He's going to try to get you while you're still here.
Oh, no, no, bro.
That's just a little room right there.
Dude, these are good.
They just fell apart.
Sounds like some Roman thing.
Oh, and you know what?
I got to apologize.
This one...
Fucking last week, I said some shit about the Bloomingdale guy.
His name was Alfred.
I think I said like Tony or something like that.
I don't know.
Bloomingdale.
Yeah, the guy with the fucking...
With Vicky fucking...
The guy with Reagan we were talking about.
How they...
With Larry Flinto, we had the tapes on him.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so the guy's name was Alfred Bloomingdale.
I don't think we were talking about it on the show, though, were we?
Yeah, we talked about it.
We did mention something about...
I think we talked about it on the show.
Like the DeLorean?
Yeah, with John DeLorean and the...
Oh, yeah.
We might want to talk about it.
DeLorean tapes.
But I'm just...
So that's my retraction in the last week.
DeLorean, man.
How about that guy?
Yeah, John DeLorean.
Okay, it was a fucking...
What a wild fucking story.
I'm telling you.
He said, look it.
Look at all that cocaine in that suitcase.
I can't even get that fucking clothes.
That's my Larry Flint, which I love it.
And the best is he's telling Norm this.
So the DeLorean tapes was John DeLorean on camera getting caught with a bunch of kilos.
It's like 40...
40 something kilos or something like that.
40?
Something I can't remember.
Yeah.
And Larry Flint is fucking like...
That's fucked him up with his factories.
Well, he's doing commentary for the fucking...
When he had the eye case.
And while Norm is watching...
Moreno McDonald's watching it.
You know, this is people versus Larry Flint.
One of the greatest movies ever.
Check it out.
And he's like, look at this fucker.
He comes in and it's the FBI.
And he moves right out of the way.
He's very camera-shy.
Well, he's savvy.
And the guy moves out of the way.
The other guys just grab the champagne, get up, fucking...
Do they do that?
And you want to know why?
Because they're all FBI.
It's like the FBI working with the FBI to set this motherfucker up.
I had to watch that again.
I had to buy the green one.
But yeah, it's such a great movie.
But I don't know.
Here's another half of you.
But yeah, so this guy Bloomingdale.
Alright, come on.
Enough fucking food talk, Faggot.
Jesus, man.
Fucking, hey.
So then this fucking...
The purple one's good.
So then another big interview.
I had to buy that one.
Dude, I mean...
This is good.
You guys are fucking gay.
Alright, there we go.
Problem solved.
I'm a bit...
Dude, I'm gonna get fucking rats.
Yeah, you.
Fucking non-away order.
Yeah, homo.
What a fucking trash fucker.
So then we're talking about Vicki Morgan.
So this guy, this Bloomingdale guy is actually pretty interesting.
He's the one who got involved.
He's the guy who started credit cards.
He started the diners club.
Did he own the store, Bloomingdale's?
He was part of the family.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
But he was what he called...
They started the diners club.
They started credit cards.
The diners club was the first high-line big time, like, high-class...
It was the first credit card.
But it was like the first...
But the problem was...
But the problem was that people started taking transactions at stores and became obsolete.
Because you could only use it at these diners places.
Certain places.
Yeah.
So that's the only thing I want.
Which is kind of interesting.
Like when you pulled it out, you were cool.
And this guy, this fucking guy, I don't know about that, but...
That's what you call it.
I thought you pulled out some freaking blow.
It's the 80s, Larry.
Dude, it was before the 80s.
You know, I'm gonna use that card to chop lines for you, sweetheart.
Okay.
I'm gonna go down there and breathe like a snorkel on it.
And then grab, and then blow those in my ass.
You know, tickle my nuts and then flick macho.
But, uh...
The good old days.
So then, uh, that fucking got me all fucking discombobulated about that.
Where was I gonna go with that?
Started thinking about nuts and balls and all.
Where was I gonna go with that?
Fuck, all right.
Well, he was part of a little hat club.
They all are.
But yeah, no, but...
Oh, that's what it's gonna say.
So this guy got...
You know who the Marquis de Sade is?
He was like the sadistic fucking ruler.
Mm-hmm.
And they...
This dude Bloomingdale, the fucking...
His therapist and shit, said that he had the sexual proclivities of this de Sade guy.
He'd like beat women and hurt, you know what I mean?
Like, he was a sociopath.
And where are you going?
Nowhere.
Dude, where Larry?
Get the fuck sit down!
I'm just gonna go get that candy, man.
Jesus, dude, you are so retarded.
It exudes us.
Army crawl outta here.
I know.
Watch out, ass off.
It exudes us.
I know, a bad amplifier didn't wear fucking time.
Dude, I swear to God, candy.
You're so autistic, dude.
I mean, fuck, dude.
There you go, kid.
Ah.
But this Marquis de Sade guy was a real bad dude.
And this guy would just...
It's a crazy fucking story.
Like, they actually...
This chick, she mysteriously died in this dress party.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
So how did you hear this story?
Because this is an offshoot from the...
What's that?
Delorean story, right?
Oh, yeah, no.
But this is how it all started with Larry Flint.
And then what he called Larry Flint said he had the Reagan tapes of Reagan getting pegged.
And all these other things.
Why did Delorean get all hooked up with the Coke?
Did he like Coke?
No, I think he was gonna make a lot of money off it because he needed to get the business going.
Yeah, because the government was causing him over.
He really didn't do blow, right?
I'm sure he did.
Well, I mean, not to the extent where he's gone.
I would love to do a Delorean episode.
Yeah, I've never seen Delorean documentary.
Which is so funny.
I did see it, but it was so long ago.
The one on Netflix, I think.
It was so funny.
But isn't it crazy he made the same thing out of the Cybertrucks?
The aluminum that they used.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Steel.
So this guy was a pioneer.
He was ahead of his time with everybody fucking.
When I was a kid, I remember riding my bike and the first time seeing a Delorean, like,
before I even knew who he was or anything.
And I went and I'm like, DMC.
That's the only thing that's said on the whole car.
Yeah, the front.
I'm like, dad, what car is this?
And it was just all stainless.
It looked like the fucking refrigerator Mary has in the kitchen.
I was just like blown away, man.
Too bad those things were pieces of shit.
It really were.
It was a fucking ghetto.
It looked amazing, you know, as a kid.
You know, I couldn't even drive yet or whatever.
The door was all about the, yeah.
They were the first one that had the doors just open like that.
Well, not the first ones, but I mean, back to the future really made that car popular.
Way before back to the future.
Well, no, I know, but I'm just saying.
My old neighbor, my old neighbor,
his shop was in Ireland.
I can't.
And then something happened.
And they said, you got to get the fuck out of here.
Fucking potato monkeys.
Something.
Can't trust those motherfuckers.
No.
I mean, come on.
Potato famine.
You guys can't find anything else to eat or not a hunt asshole.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with potatoes.
Yeah.
Coming from the fucking sodium warrior.
I can live off potatoes.
Well, potatoes are okay, but you know what?
You can't really fucking, the Irish are really stupid drunk alcoholics.
So I knew this fucking guy.
This guy used to call downstairs time.
He lived with Tom.
Downstairs time?
Yeah, because Tom lived upstairs.
Oh man, such a good deal right there.
Well, the guy wasn't food cake too.
I bet he was.
Because one day someone called and they're like, it's time there and there was two times.
One upstairs, one down.
You have to go to the regular downstairs time.
You want to let it or sugar in the tank.
Right.
So he, his family decided they're going to move to Canada and to live in Canada.
You have to live in a refugee camp for a horrible amount of years.
And I mean, it's like fucking like seven years.
The fucking syrup monkeys.
And all they had to eat was no Mexican.
No Mexican.
Yeah.
All they had to eat was potatoes.
They would grow potatoes.
And so this guy started naming to me and Mary one day.
I mean, they cook it in another seeds.
I don't know what the fuck their problem was, but he said they grew potatoes.
Like maybe the community, each person grew a different thing.
They put it in, but their family was in charge of potatoes.
You wonder why the Irish are so fucking angry.
They got potatoes, that's it.
Well, he's like, man, you could make him, he named about 150 ways to make potatoes.
Yeah.
Potato, potato, potato, potato, potato, potato, potato whiskey, potato beer, potato, all that shit,
all that shit.
No, that's what he was like.
And his dad made him dig a well for water by hand, by hand.
Like, you know what, for a while, you know, we're digging a hole by hand in soccer.
For a while.
You don't have to go to a deep.
Well, they're in Canada or wherever.
I forgot where it was.
But fuck, I don't, yeah.
And they had to live on like,
in like this fucking thing.
So listen, this, and then this kid was in charge
of getting up.
Did you hear this on a TV show?
No, this is this kid that I knew.
He lived with rats.
This is downstairs.
Oh, downstairs.
Yeah, in fucking up.
What he did was he had a chop on the wood
for everyone to have hot water in the morning
and everything and do all these chores, you know?
So then they lived there for like four or five years.
He had to leave town.
He lived in Hanover Park.
He had to leave town because he was in trouble with the law.
And his brother used to also harass him and beat his ass.
His brother was this big fucking macho guy.
I mean, where is his story going?
Well, here's the thing.
Okay, well, finally.
He fucking says, I'm done with this.
I don't care about the law.
I'm gonna go face my thing and go do my jail time.
And he leaves Canada and comes back to Hanover Park.
And then now his dad doesn't have the wood chopper,
the well digger, the potato picker.
And he's like, fuck it.
Now he is also at this time,
has another wife with a new family.
And they're like, you know what?
Fuck it.
And the guy goes to New York and becomes a businessman.
And he's like a multi-millionaire
and doesn't give Tom downstairs time.
Okay, Tom.
Yeah, doesn't give him a fucking.
Nothing.
Yeah.
What does that mean?
That was the worst story ever.
That wasn't that.
I mean, it really was.
I apologize to our listeners for literally wasting
one minute of your time that you were never going to get back.
Honestly, it sounded like Backdoor Tom was like,
It was crazy.
He was letting, like he was giving,
he didn't want to do his chores.
So he was letting people get him in the back door
so he didn't ever do his chores or something.
No, no, no.
He didn't want to do his chores.
So he moved away from the family.
Right?
Yeah.
Did you ever blow him?
No.
Unfortunately, he moved me.
No, I don't know if he's a big kisser.
You have to ask needles.
I don't even know who gay Tom is.
That wasn't even a good burn.
Downstairs Tom.
I know, which is even funnier.
Double Tom's.
And upstairs Tom was a whore.
I mean, he was a great dude, but man, he was not.
But you're going to say he was a horrible person
is what you were actually.
I was going to say that.
I was going to tell him.
Then I thought about it for a second.
Because he was not a whore.
I know.
And that's why I retracted what I was going to say.
Just like Bagged Fruitcake weirdo Tom is not a horrible person.
I never said I never called them all those names.
I'm talking about whoever's out there listening.
That might be the truth.
I don't know how to have anything to base that off.
I'll take a word for it.
That was a lot for them to curve.
Oh, boy.
Oh, shit.
What was I going to talk about?
Well, Joe Biden's man and Nancy Pelosi because she's Joe Biden.
Joe Biden?
Oh, Joe, not Joe.
Joe.
Yeah, doctor, the so-called doctor.
He's not a doctor.
She's a fucking idiot.
She did some interview at the watch.
I'm actually the outpost.
She was crying about Pelosi.
Like she's surprised that she got stabbed in the back
and was like, she was supposed to fall in line.
She expected loyalty out of her.
And it's like, you know, fuck the country.
Be loyal to this old man who's completely fucking seen out,
even though she was loyal because the bitch
should have fucking ousted.
She should have called them out right away.
That bitch is walking around in a walker.
Yeah.
I'm the same girl.
It's like, come on, man.
It is right there.
She just broke her hip.
Yeah, I know.
That sign right there is that that's a downfall from there.
Yeah.
Once you fall once.
Well, when you break your hip.
I broke my hip.
And you got cans the size of like watermelons.
You think they would stop that shit?
That's why I had to get it.
I mean, you really would, right?
But no.
And then it went to taxpayers dollars too,
because they flew her to an Air Force base.
It was like $250,000 for a day.
Oh, geez.
Yeah, wait.
It was in Germany.
Oh, all right.
I was gonna say, she had a layup.
She was following the oven.
Yeah, right.
Well, she had a layup in a hospital in Germany.
She had to be in Poland for that.
But like, what the fuck is she even doing out there
in the first place?
I think she's doing.
She's out there fucking getting more money.
Milk in the fucking system?
Oh, she can.
Milk them titties.
She's a fucking gross, come on.
Yeah, I know Larry.
Actually, I bang out Nancy Pelosi.
Dude, I'll tell you what.
When I was in Tennessee, we went to.
You're gonna tell me if she didn't come up to you.
And you're more of her husband's fan, aren't you?
Yeah.
He's hot.
Paul Pelosi.
Hammer gay stuff.
Isn't that what we call that, the hammer gay or what?
Yeah, let's do some gay shit.
Go get that hammer out of it in the head right now.
No, I'll tell you a funny little story.
When I was in Tennessee, we went to this little,
me and Scraud, he went to this little show,
met some older women there.
We ended up going to this bar.
Paul's gonna play the FBI agent in the sniffer mood.
And he is a sniffer.
He is a perfect agent.
He's got the build to where an FBI windbreaker.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.
But anyways, we go to this bar and there's all these,
what do you call it, these brides parties.
Oh, bachelor parties.
Bachelor parties.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me tell you.
But just so there's all these young women here.
And you know what happens to the fridge
always protects the snacks.
Yeah, well, but the thing is,
the biggest girl's always perfect.
I'm an old man, I'm talking to these younger guys.
I'm like, I can't go out there and dance with them.
They just get creeped out.
And I'm like, you guys gotta go dance with them.
Then we start talking to these guys.
Like, oh, I'm just in for, you know,
he works in politics in Washington, DC.
Oh boy.
And then he makes a comment.
I'm not into girls.
Oh, Nancy Pelosi best tits on Washington.
Nice.
Like, it's a pretty absurd.
Well, you know what, think about it.
What's the two things you can keep together
when you're in Ansible Three Things technically?
Your alcoholism, your tits and your vagina.
That's really it.
You got a bum hit now.
So you really, really gotta watch your alcohol.
Yeah.
How much fucking goes down a receipt.
Yeah, what was that?
Because you know, you'll fall over
all with the chits for the fucking alcohol.
They all have their...
They get the ration.
Yeah.
Their alcohol ration.
The only time they don't complain about communism
is when they get their alcohol ration.
Yeah.
Very fucking...
Yeah, they get all rowdy and goofy
if they don't have it.
Right, right.
And they got a, you know,
liquor store installed at the fucking...
That's what we're talking about.
Yeah, but they're grilling Pete Hexeth about
being an alcoholic.
Yeah, right.
That's fucking classic.
The guy even said he's like...
Beautiful, hypocritical shit.
I can name most everybody coming in late
to make a vote drunk.
First of all, okay, I'm gonna tell you right now,
let's talk about the fucking Slush Fund
and the fucking, the fund that they had to pay off
for sexual, what do you call it, misconduct.
Oh, I tell you, I said Larry Needle's had a Slush Fund.
Yeah, we do.
I got excited for a minute.
You know, it was a Slushy Fund, that's what you...
Yeah.
That girl.
Got excited for it.
You gotta buy you a, I'm a company credit card
a Slushy machine, that's the only way you'll work.
When we get popular.
We'll mount it for a while.
You gotta bring your lawyer in with you.
It's fucking Finkelstein.
Finkelstein, Hammerstein.
He needs a Slushy machine.
Oh, how about we open a gym for Jews?
Or it's like, you just throw shekels on the ground
and they have to pick them up.
We'll have like a neck exercise for the boils
so the head goes down and comes up.
We'll set the oven and you gotta get out really quick.
Hey, yeah.
That's your spritz.
Yeah, that's the cardio.
You gotta get on one side of the oven to the other.
It's fucking terrible.
It's for the door shuts.
Oh, fuck, that is bad.
It's a fucking...
But funny, it's a joke.
It's just a joke.
It is funny.
What the fuck, man?
It's almost gotta say it's terrible though,
cause you know...
And then laugh at it right after you say it's terrible.
For a true fucking organization.
But uh...
It would be like, yeah, that's not funny.
Does it...
These people that are coming out now,
he seems like Mel Gibson and shit,
like they're talking about Hollywood.
It's like, first of all, you're already in the club.
No, Mel Gibson's been calling them out.
Yeah, but still...
It's since the 80s.
He had to do his shit to get in.
No, he didn't.
How do you know?
Cause...
How the fuck do you know this, Larry?
Cause he's Australian.
And here's the other thing, man.
Don't mean shit.
You're still in there in the world.
He is an actual real Christian.
They came down...
Right now he is...
He was before too, man.
They came down on him for being anti-Semitic.
Long ago, brother.
Yeah, but he's the big...
What they're gonna do to you
when anyone ever fucking knows who you are.
Yeah, I totally fucking off.
I wear like a warm blanket and a cold mug.
Mel Gibson is like, suck it.
He's like, choke on it, motherfuckers.
I don't care what you say.
You would choke on it.
It's so weird.
But when you're younger, you do dumb shit.
And if you can realize and reconcile...
When he was so young the first time
he fucking did this little fucking outburst.
Isn't it weird that it's just all of a sudden...
That they so-called anti-Semitic outbursts.
But it's just funny.
It's like, what the fuck did they do?
He was the first one to stick to his guns, though, brother.
He did stick to his guns.
People have been doing this for a long, long time.
Well, yeah, but...
But they fucking got ousted completely.
He's the only one that was able to somehow...
Probably through the power of Jesus.
Because he had to kiss the ring.
Is it fucking kissing you?
The passion of the guys.
It's called kissing the ring again.
He's not kissing any rings, Nate.
Once they slap your dick, dude.
Well, no, did you hear about Passionate of Christ?
He couldn't get anybody...
None of the producers, none of the theaters.
Imagine that.
Nobody would show it.
Nobody would back him.
But then he got some random guy that was him
and, I guess, Fax Machine...
And it's, you know what?
It's the highest grossing fucking movie in history.
And he's got a new one.
I don't know about that.
It is. They just fucking...
He's got the resurrection coming out.
You see that?
Yes.
I'm very excited about that.
I still haven't seen Passionate.
So you just say it's the highest grossing movie ever.
Wait, wait.
No, no, no, wait.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Are you fucking...
I think it is.
That's what I heard.
It was either the highest gross...
No, that's what I heard.
That's what I'm gonna say.
I'll look it up right now.
Suck it.
You know what?
Here, let me tell you something.
No, no, well, we can Fax Machine...
This guy split his little hairs over fucking little words.
No, no, you can't just come out and be like,
this is the highest grossing movie ever.
What I heard was, it's the highest fucking grossing...
I didn't read it.
This guy's like Sammy Davis Jr. over here.
Oh, you know what?
Fucking tiptoeing back to the daisies for Nook Boy.
Yeah, tiptoe through your own tulips, you fucking fruitcake.
All right, I don't know fucking what are you doing?
You don't know how to look it up?
And a car.
Okay.
Look up the passion.
It's a highest grossing independent film.
Oh, there we go.
And you never said that.
Oh, I can't remember everything ever.
And Christian film of all time.
There you go.
Don't tell me to suck it when you don't even have a Fax Tray.
It was also the highest grossing R rated film
in the United States for many years.
There you go.
Without any sacks too, isn't that crazy?
Dude, that guy...
So there you go.
Jesus is a gang.
I wasn't wrong.
He used his own money for this.
Let's fucking do it.
Oh, slow down there, buddy.
No, we don't need to be doing the Bill Bellamy around here.
You see that?
This guy's just Bellamy Salute and out of nowhere.
He wins.
So he associates that with winning.
I won.
I, nine won.
Well, holy shit.
I mean, Deadpool and Wolverine is number one,
but then Passion of the Crisis is number two.
Okay, so I got some missing...
Holy shit, but still, I mean...
Deadpool, like, doubled.
I wasn't in the literary demand hole for some kissing.
That's nothing to sneeze at, though,
for everybody fucking out of there.
Boycott, yeah.
The fucking problem is...
And nobody would want to play that movie at the theaters.
And it's a fucking brutal movie.
And you know what else is weird about that movie?
There ain't a fucking word.
There's not a single word that they say.
No, I think there is.
Not in English.
Well, yeah, that's...
I mean, dude, this fucking guy...
You've been hanging out with Biden lately or something?
I mean, what the fuck, dude?
He looked at you straight in the face,
and he's like, there's not a word in it.
And you're like, I think there's a word in English.
There's a single word that's not said in some ancient language
that nobody understands
unless you're some kind of fucking biblical scholar.
Well, yeah, I was like a radiant of something.
No, I think you hit your head on the retort.
Aramaic.
Aramaic, that's what it's called.
Not Arabian.
Come on, mother fucker.
Now, there's like 400,000 people that actually speak Aramaic.
Okay, well, that's not very many.
No, it's not.
400,000 is like hundreds of tens of a percent of the world.
Yeah, it's nothing.
Yeah, it's not that many.
So it's a very weird language.
So don't tell me needles at anybody that fucking...
I think more people speak ghetto than speak Aramaic.
Oh, yeah!
Without a doubt, you know what I mean?
Just in Chicago.
Absolutely.
Oh, shit.
So, they couldn't cancel that fucking guy.
They did cancel him.
Oh, yeah, they did.
They did cancel him.
They did cancel him back and he's strong.
They did cancel the shit out of him.
He's coming back, okay?
He's having a resurgence.
Well, did you ever hear the recording of him yelling at his wife?
Oh, yes.
Right by a gang of black guys.
Yeah, he wasn't holding back.
I'm sugarcoating.
Yeah, he wasn't holding back.
No.
Well, here's the thing, man.
You gotta be honest when you're a Christian.
Well, actually, when you're hammered beyond ball.
And if you're hammered, then...
And you get a bitch.
And your wife will go into your mouth.
The other thing is, man, is you're nobody's fucking infallible.
Everybody gets fucked up.
Everybody does their thing or whatever it is.
You know what I'm saying?
You can't say, oh, that guy's bad and all his Christian stuff is bullshit because that
doesn't mean everybody's not a sinner or a weak motherfucker.
First of all, he fucking...
When he came out with that whole Jew rant, let me tell you, his stock went up in my book.
Yeah.
It was good.
It was a great, as fuck.
I have it.
I'll say it.
I think it was a great shot.
Robert Downey Jr. was blackmailed from Hollywood.
He backed them up.
And he gave them places to stay, brought them back because that's what...
That was Christian faith.
And that's what it's all about, man.
And then Robert Downey Jr. gave them the...
Gave it back to him.
I just don't...
You know what I mean?
I don't know about trusting these people, though.
I have a big time trusting them.
Trust no man.
It says in the Bible.
Trust no man.
Especially someone that's in Hollywood.
Especially.
Dude, crazy.
I was sitting in the sun on the other day.
I made a comment about something.
To some stranger.
I took my towel off and made it a glib or a gib.
Spray the legs a little bit.
Opened up.
No, that's what this guy told me.
He's like, let me ask you something.
Kind of a weird start to a question.
Yeah, he's like...
It's like...
I soon like to grab my kiss out.
I've never seen a grown man naked.
Just enough to smell my finger.
Ever been to a Turkish prison?
Yeah.
I'm like, if you died today, would you go to heaven?
That's a good question.
Well, no.
I said 100% yes.
That's something my dad has asked.
Yes, today.
But then he asked me, he's like, well, why would you go to heaven?
I'm like, well, because Jesus Christ died on the cross for all our sins.
Oh, no, because it's all fucking...
No, but that's the reason.
It all boils down to your will.
What did this guy say to you after that?
No, he's like, yeah, he's like...
Good answer.
Yeah, he's like, yeah, wow.
He's like, you know.
It boils down to will.
Well, here's the thing, a lot of people...
God gives you will, and either you take it away or you don't take it away.
Well, here's the thing though.
Everybody's like...
He gives you free will.
Yeah, everybody's got free will, and everybody's totally fallible.
But the problem is...
Did you just learn that word today?
No, motherfucker.
I don't know why I'm saying it.
And the other thing is, people...
The biggest answer is like, well, you go to heaven.
Oh, yeah, I think I will.
Why?
Because I'm a good person.
No.
God doesn't give a fuck if you're a good person.
Yeah, it has nothing to do with that.
A diver could be up there.
A fucking Hitler could be up there.
You don't know who the fuck makes it or not.
God died, or Jesus died,
He has to cross for our sins, so everybody can have to worry about this.
God Christians are such pussies.
We used to be bad ass.
No, man, what about Koresh?
He's still learning.
He wasn't a pussy.
What are you talking about?
David Koresh.
He got burned down in the house by the fuckers.
He wasn't a pussy, bro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he was.
He was ready to fucking go to battle.
Oh, he did go to battle.
Yeah, for a long time, for days.
I remember that.
Making automatic weapons, which was completely false.
What were you guys in fucking high school?
Something like that, but no, he wasn't.
Because when was it?
I mean, you might as well just say Heaven's Gate was that also.
Yeah, it was like 92, 93.
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, we were in high school.
Okay.
Yeah, all right.
It was 95, I thought.
Oh, 95.
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
We're not, we're getting a semantics.
But no.
First of all, who the fuck knows what happened there?
Because we all know the official story that came out.
Oh, that's so...
So I don't believe that narrative.
But he wasn't a pussy.
Yeah.
I mean...
You know where Khrush started?
They did kill a guy, yeah, for what they were old ladies in the saw.
He was a pretty badass, mom.
Well, in Israel.
Well, he went to Israel.
He was trying to recruit people.
Yes.
Yeah.
But that old lady and then her son had that man, I forgot the church.
Oh, shit.
Then he started marrying little girls.
Well, see, we don't know about that.
That's what they do to everybody.
Well, that's what they say, yeah.
They do that to everybody.
They throw a little CP on your computer.
They use a villain and a pedophile and a weirdo if they don't like you.
Well, that's how it does a good smear campaign.
Just like, you know.
What do you think, like a craig?
You know what I mean?
Think about it.
That's what they do.
They're fucking massage.
I mean, they're fucking...
How about that 67-batteries?
Well, because it always works.
It was a Camaro.
Oh, a Camaro.
Yeah, right.
There was.
Black.
That thing was pretty dope.
If I was...
Well, it said like 427 Go God.
It had stamped on the engine block.
Wow.
Yeah.
And then they called it...
The thing is, I was...
I mean, if I was rich, I wish I was rich because there was a point in time where they were selling
his guitars, David Koresh's, on the internet years ago.
And they were going early 10 grand to fucking piece and they have pictures with them playing
them.
So, that was kind of...
Here's the thing though.
Those guitars aren't worth that much money.
It's just because he owned them.
And it's cool if you're a collector.
Yeah, obviously.
But in the hands of someone like me...
You're fucking kidding me.
Yeah, it's worthless.
You wouldn't love to just have it sitting in the corner because it's David Koresh's
Ivan-esque.
It would be a guitar that I could never play though, really, because you paid 10 grand for
it.
That's how you pay fucking cash.
Like the power of Koresh is coming to you.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Yeah, no, you stay away from that thing, let me tell you.
You might get a taste for some very succulent veal.
And that's not the way you want to live your life.
Yeah.
All of a sudden, you're filing triggers out of steel.
Yeah.
Firing pins and shit.
You're putting together M60s.
You're like, yeah, that's all right.
Don't worry about it.
The government doesn't know.
What are you making down here, Larry?
Yeah.
But listen, the government's going to government.
That's going to be the best part about it.
Look at this thing I got.
Please don't do look at this thing while we're on a body or a podcast.
I'm just going to hear what I'm talking about.
This is important dates of 2024, and it's probably the same dates for 2025, right?
I didn't know this was on the back page of the calendar.
Are you okay today?
It's got all the important dates.
The dates are going to be the numbers the same the days.
Well, already he's just looting through his desk to find something to talk about.
Oh, look at this calendar.
It's got dates on it.
Well, two days ago was on January 15th was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
Let's not get into that.
I want to say happy birthday.
No.
Was it his birthday?
I don't know what the fuck it is.
It was his birthday.
Let's see if Juneteenth is on there.
We have a whole month for that, Larry.
Juneteenth, do Juneteenth National Independence Day.
Get the fuck back.
What, soul glow?
It's actually on there, man.
Juneteenth.
Yeah.
Give me a fucking break.
Burn that calendar.
There is, I don't know, how many would you say?
A hundred?
No.
Fucking holidays?
No, not a hundred.
Yeah, that's probably what it looks like.
There's a lot.
Okay, well, that's great.
Larry, thanks, man.
Yeah, that's a bad...
Tell everyone that human being that listens to is about holidays.
It's a third of the year.
You know what's intriguing?
Oh, man.
Casimir Vlasky Day.
Oh, yeah, Casimir Vlasky Day.
That's the only important day.
All you put a lot out there, we love you.
It's the 419 was the most important day.
The day before 420?
Before 420 is Hitler's birthday.
It's my fear of his birthday.
No, 420.
Is it 420,000 for 19?
No, it's 420.
Oh, that's my bad, then.
I apologize.
You were right.
Thanks, Kiki, for backing me up.
Maybe I should get on purpose.
Whatever, it's the real commune.
I'm weed yo.
I'm like McCarthy.
I did spit that out pretty quick.
All right, guys, come and get him.
Yeah.
I knew it.
The Gestapo comes in.
The Dragy old kickin' and screaming.
Where is it?
Fresno.
I'm on 2000 cc's of Lou Melonade.
Yeah.
Here's my precision.
Are you kidding me?
Leaders.
Three-meet-ball.
How about four leaders?
Talk to my doctor.
Two blue shoes.
Yeah.
What's that?
Bone or pillow.
Guess after my lose.
Who was, uh, I talked to Dr. Vinnie Boombox.
Rodney Stocker?
Yeah.
Fucking great.
Yeah, we go to the same, well, we used to go to the same doctor.
Here, Larry, I'll give you some reefer.
That stuff just looks horrible.
Yeah, it's a brown.
Oh my God.
You're always talking about being a Jew this, that, Jew this, that,
and fucking all of a sudden, okay, that's cool.
Let's do it.
Huh?
What the fuck was that?
I'm just saying.
I like the way you're so...
I'm just saying you're tight with your weight.
See, he can't come to my level.
So you gotta like backhand it?
He's like, you're not tight with the sweet.
That's all I'm saying.
He's tight with the sweet.
I'm not tight with my weed.
I just asked you if you wanted to smoke.
Shit, man.
How the fuck did that make me tight with my weed?
Shit, I asked you in an hour ago.
I did, and I gave you bonnets, and you smoked all of it.
I smoked one fucking bottle.
You just saw the dirt you picked from the bag.
Jesus, man.
Whatever.
I haven't seen brown weed in like 30 years.
But that's from Roaches.
No, all right, all right.
It's even worse.
That's the shit that you said smelled good when you walked in.
When you smoked it.
Maybe it was this, was this.
You were smoking this?
No, I was smoking the Roaches.
This fucking guy is gonna get COVID.
I ate so much weed, I never smoked Roaches.
That's all right.
Okay, what time are we at?
We're at 55, 5548.
Okay.
Here's the thing, man.
We go to these parties, you know, with these big dealers and growers,
and they have Roaches, and they'll throw a joint out.
Like, they roll joints at like six inches long,
and then they fucking throw out a joint that's like half a joint,
a regular joint, and they're like, I pick them out of the thing,
and they're like, Larry, don't do that.
And I'm like, man, you guys don't understand.
And this is Larry's cultural origin story?
I can't not do that.
And then they give me some weed, and then they have me weed.
This looks like fucking rail.
And then I say, it doesn't matter if you give me this weed or not.
I still have to fucking take these Roaches.
Of course I haven't.
Yeah, it's a fucking homeless bum mentality.
And sure, I'll take a bog hit, Larry.
That's fine.
Those are cigarette butts.
Yeah.
That gold sore old fucking bottle.
Sorry.
No, I'm just going to smoke this, and now here we go.
Now you're going to fucking make me hold it here.
I got my lighter sucker.
Okay, that's fine.
Yeah, there's lighters hanging from every fucking order.
So yeah, happy birthday, Mom.
I'm really glad that I'm going to come over and eat very soon.
My mom's a very good cook.
She's also very cool, and she likes to hang out and party,
and we could party there if we want and do whatever we want.
We used to have the band set up in the basement
up until just about a couple of years ago at Christmas time.
The best story is little Nikki and the Purves.
They were practicing in the basement,
and there he was like eight years old,
and they were talking about sexually assaulting women.
They almost turned Nick was about eight.
And they had company over.
And they're just like talking.
They had this one really racist song.
We weren't talking about it.
We were screaming.
We were singing about it.
Yeah, okay, they were singing about it.
And that one, another real racist song about a burglar,
cat burglar.
Black Panther.
Yeah, Black Panther, about a cat burglar that sneaks into the house.
So the parents' friends were pretty excited about it?
Yeah, they went home and told all their friends.
So the next day, my mom's like...
My friends' children are playing racist songs
and about sexually assaulting women.
They didn't stop there.
No, they had a whole set.
And my mom's like,
you guys embarrassed me so much.
I can't believe it.
And we're like, mom, those are the songs we play every night,
because we're doing our little band practice.
She's not paying attention.
We didn't even get to the encore.
But here's how we had to do it.
The people still can't even hear it.
We didn't have microphones back then.
So my brother would go in my dad's workshop
and we would be jamming out in the main basement room.
And so the tape recorder would be in there with him.
So the mix of him just screaming the words.
And then the band planned...
And so the workshop is directly...
The kitchen was right above it.
And so they're sitting there chatting it up.
And my brother's there,
he'd call off his shit.
Motherfucker, you know.
Black guy, black guy.
You guys yelling into the cans with the strings.
We are kind of sexually touching our boobs.
And it's the G version.
No, that's actually what it's like.
One of our songs was sexual, but it was good shit.
Which brings us right to...
We want to thank Tom Street Clinic Automotive
and Veterinarian Services
for everything they do for us here at the Larry and Neal show.
More for fucking Larry, man.
And the public.
His lips look like a top of that.
It's the holiday seasons.
If you've got that gift that keeps on giving...
Go get that out from Skibbin.
Yeah.
They'll take care of it for you.
I'm gonna go and piss.
Okay. Thank you for tuning in, everybody.
Peace.