Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.
And...
Hey everybody, welcome to the Larry and Needles show. I'm Larry.
And I'm Needles.
And I'm Kiki.
And welcome to a new year.
Happy motherfucking new year, yes.
Do you have a stain on it?
Let me tell you.
You're the one with the needle, Larry and Needles show?
Yes, it does.
Let me tell you, you don't know what's gay. New Year's Eve parties.
You're a slave to the clock all fucking day. You get up for work.
You live your life by the clock and then you are waiting till midnight.
Like a real fat dude.
Shit to come.
So you can celebrate one day off and then go back to work and slave to the clock.
We had the band over and everyone did a bunch of mushrooms and we played on the internet.
And that was real fun for our friends in Canada and across the United States.
Hey Canada, go get fucked.
You're gonna become our next state.
All the growers and such, yeah.
It was the 51st state.
51st state.
And Trudeau's gonna be the governor.
I don't know about that.
He'll be canned.
That's alright though.
You know what, Canada has a bunch of faggots up there.
No, no.
Canadian people, they're good people.
The French Canadians, come on.
See, there we are.
That's a small portion.
That's the small portion.
You know what kind of small? I like zero.
That's my kind of small lumber.
My little, yeah.
Well these boys are fucking pretty tough and they're not.
They're like lumberjacks and shit like that.
Well, that's fine. There's a couple good eggs out there.
There's a couple good eggs out there.
There's no rednecks.
They're just like us, man.
They're very nice too.
I met them in person and everything before.
At least one of them.
Little maple syrup.
Is that what they call it, Joe?
Just like you.
That's a good band name.
What was the other one that I said?
That's no bomb.
Yeah, but that's an actual weapon.
Created by what he called the saucer heads.
Because Larry wants me to cut down on my saucer head talk.
I don't care what you do.
No, you did it. You actually made him.
He did his boxing me out.
No.
He's fucking ass clown.
I'll tell you about Tommy.
Talk about the ethnos bomb, but that's all right.
Oh, you can.
I'm a fan of the saucer head.
They figured that they were going to make a weapon.
The only effect.
It's pretty smart.
Yeah, until they realized they shared the same DNA.
That would just be killing themselves.
Until they figured out it didn't work.
This came out 25 years ago.
This was 1999 or something.
They even released the plug to wire.
I wish I could say the joke I told Kiki.
But you can keep the whole thing in.
You can keep blowing Larry.
I just wanted to write about that today.
Kiki said they actually told a magazine about this.
It was kind of like right after that is when they developed the pager plan.
Yeah, and they did 9-11.
That's another time we'll talk about.
This was after that.
Absolutely.
This was 2008.
That's what I'm saying.
It was 25 years ago.
It was almost 30 years.
There was another 9-11 thing I was talking about with Larry.
I was listening to a 9-11 podcast.
This guy was saying that they used drone planes.
He's like a self-proclaimed expert on this.
There's a trail that comes off.
Look, the planes look fake.
He was saying that they used some sort of low grade nuclear warhead.
Or something to shoot through the building.
That's why it punctured through the other side.
You know what I mean?
Because there was only certain weaponry that they had.
Because the beams and the core of that building are fucking unbelievable.
It's made to stand planes flying into it.
You look at how it's made.
It's taken it to South Korea.
Did you see that?
The birds hit a plane and it crashed.
That's what they're saying.
There's been three plane crashes in the last two weeks.
Oh man, I haven't been paying attention.
It is crazy the way that these planes are made.
And you know what?
I mean, do we really... I know it's easily to say,
but it's like what the fuck do we believe and what don't we believe?
Do we assume everything is fake?
Fake and gay?
Or do we just assume that it's just being fed to us to make us more stupid?
Well, I think going into 2025,
there's a lot more people that are willing to believe and accept a lot more crazy shit
that in the old days, like, what we would think was totally acceptable.
It was a lot less of a percentage of people like us.
Well, but they only had television.
Yeah, they only had television back then too.
Think about this.
I'm just saying though, in the last couple of years alone,
people have waken up immensely, man, just because of, you know...
The advancement of sadaloons and way to connect people with, what do you call it,
with news and facts.
It's astounding.
It also puts people, you know, because like they say,
oh, because you know what, I'm going to tell you right now,
I don't trust this Elon Musk guy at all.
I think he's a fucking supervillain.
I think he's ten times worse than Bill Gates.
I don't know about that.
Why don't you know about that?
I don't. I don't think it's worse than that.
I know the bullshit Gates has done.
I'm waiting, you know, Musk is probably going to do some bullshit.
Well, Musk has all this money, okay?
Yeah.
Why don't you do good?
Why are you sitting around fucking sending pockets to where, you know what I mean?
Okay, you want to help people out? Help people out.
Buy a place, fucking build houses.
Well, he does a lot of philanthropy that you don't hear about.
Yeah, but the point is though, if you have this much money and you keep on flaunting it,
you know, I'm going to say you have like half a billion dollars or something like that.
How is he flaunting it though?
Oh, he's got billions.
Yeah, okay, billions, yeah, whatever he has, but, or four or five billion or something like that.
He's flaunting it by buying the government. All of a sudden, he's just neck, he's just buddy, buddy with the president-elect,
hanging out with them. Those guys are like, you know what I mean?
They're like dumb and dumber, fucking dumber.
Well, I will tell you what, he is one of the only like foreign people to own a facility in China.
And supposedly the Chinese government, you know, they have to own everything on their land.
And who knows what kind of deal he's got going with it.
Okay, so first of all, his father-
So they got some percentage of it, no matter what.
Yeah, his father owned the Amarulite.
Or the technology into it.
He's never created anything, bought fucking SpaceX, bought into fucking PayPal.
Everything that he's done.
Well, no, I think he helped with PayPal, but I think he bought Tesla after it was started.
It was created. PayPal was created already, so he might have added to it.
Just like, you know what I mean? Just capitalism.
But at least everything that he has, but now all of a sudden, it's like this guy just gives off this fucking vibe where it's like...
Because it's like Billy Preston playing on the Beatles.
He didn't create the Beatles, but you're not going to give him the credit just because he's African.
Yeah, but like anything, yeah, something to like that.
But, well, you just buy him out with money and shut him up, you know?
It's like, and then all of a sudden, now this guy's like...
He's technically an African-American, so you shouldn't say anything bad about South African-American.
But now all of a sudden, he's like, hey, you know what? We don't need anymore.
It's white Americans. You know who we're going to replace him with fucking street shitters?
You know, it's like, what the fuck?
All of a sudden, you're telling us we need these Indians and we're not good enough to fucking...
What do you mean, Indians?
Well, that's the way he's talking about the engineers.
I'm not going to talk about the visas, but I'm just going to talk about that this fucking guy comes here, does all this bullshit,
and then all of a sudden, he's like, even fucking VVAC is like, these fucking...
We don't need Americans, white Americans, we need fucking foreigners.
It's like, you guys are talking about immigration and how we need to get rid of the people that are coming in,
and now we're just going to give this shit away.
Well, they want the same shit that's been coming here forever.
The highly educated, the intelligent people that are programmed as...
Yeah, okay, I understand that this is...
Operation line only.
This is the melting pot created by a Frisbee head, but the coin...
Who coined the term, shall I say?
Frisbee, you know what I mean?
But why the fuck do we need more of these people here?
These guys are all in cahoots with the, you know, the globalists.
But he's did funny how everything just changes every single day.
Shit just...
Like, all of a sudden, when you wake up one day and they're like, yep, we need more foreigners, but they got to be Indian.
It's like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Who the fuck are you?
Like, all of a sudden, you were in this thing...
When did this happen, though?
I don't remember this...
This has happened in the last two weeks.
We need Indians.
But when he...
Who said this?
All of a sudden, you want to cut costs and you want to do all this shit and you want to blow smoke up our fucking ass.
Listen here, fucker, you're both immigrants.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but who said we need more Indians?
That's the part I don't...
VVAC and fucking Elon.
Oh.
They want to start doing these VVSAs or like HB1 visas, where they start bringing in, like Kiki said, more talent...
Because the kids here are fucking uneducated and unmotivated...
Well, why is that?
We need to get Indians and other...
Because we have the worst education system in the world.
Absolutely, that's what they want.
People come out there and...
They dumb us down to the point where when we need an engineer or someone with a fucking brain, we got to go to India.
Well, no...
A place where the kids...
Yeah, Ukraine...
Took schools seriously...
Yeah...
And had to...
Okay, but why...
What is this a byproduct of?
America.
No, DEI.
Oh, sure, sure.
This is a byproduct.
This is all Atlanta.
Well, it's been going for a while.
But that's for a while.
This is a shitty education system.
They've been dumbing down the education system for decades now.
But this DEI bullshit within the last couple months...
Come to fruition right now.
Like, you're starting to see that all these unqualified people put in these prominent positions that don't deserve this shit.
Absolutely.
Because all because of...
You don't want to be racist because they're late 15 minutes.
Or, you know, they're cooking chicken in the break room.
Well, because they don't want to be here at the time.
They don't want to be in the break room.
Fried chicken in the break room.
Splattered grease all over the inside of the microwave.
You can't say shit.
But so it's like, okay, so you want to fucking...
You want to bring more people in here?
That's fucking fine.
Let's worry about the people we need to get out first.
And you guys are supposed to be part of a department that was cutting spending.
You don't have anything to do with...
Yeah, well, no, it's a...
But it's all another side.
Well, here, I get both sides because we want American companies to rule and control everything.
Absolutely.
So we want the best of the best coming here.
Capitalism.
We don't want them going to Russia, going to China, or wherever.
But here's the thing also, is that I also look at it from the other side that it's a
PSYOP to get us to not like these guys, to go against Elon and go against ZVAC.
Like, they put this shit out and like, oh, look at these guys.
Now they want to fucking start bringing in illegals.
Well, no, yeah, well, that's just, yeah, that's how it starts.
But the thing is with Vivek, or whatever his name is, anyways...
Make.
Rahmaturban.
Yeah, he made a shit ton of money on a bullshit...
Biotech.
...and pocket jump.
Bullshit biotech.
Yeah.
He bought a drug that was in like third phase trials or something.
I forget what company, but they knew it didn't work.
Yeah, so they fucking bought it.
He bought it, renamed it, and said it was in the third phase trials.
Got a lot of people to invest in it, knew it didn't work.
He dumped it when it was going up.
Yeah.
It's a fucking shady business.
What was the drug supposed to do?
Maybe Indian...
Stop shitting history.
Yeah, they knew it wouldn't work.
Even the placebo was there.
Everybody got a placebo.
Shit.
Fuck.
Yeah, no, I forget what it was.
But, like I said, this fucking, I don't trust a guy.
I don't trust any of these guys.
They all work for him.
They're like glorified.
They're like, he's like their savior.
Oh, free speech by asses.
Well, here's the thing though, needles.
There's nobody that's going to be un...
Corruptable.
Infallible.
Not only that, but there's nobody that's going to have a pass that is perfect.
Thomas, man.
I'll tell you what, if Larry's in charge...
They're always going to have some.
Oh, daddy in a week.
He better be scratching my back.
Oh, man, you guys can scratch him at the same time.
But seriously, you know, there's always going to be something in somebody's past that you're like,
ah, man, that guy's a fool.
What are you talking about?
I can read you a thing about where he was, Elon...
Here, I'll fucking even pull it.
I'm the only person that'd probably be cleaning that whole thing if I got elected.
I need you to have to go to Tom's first to make sure you're clean.
That's the first rule of business.
I'd have to see her for a year.
You can't have Tom's words on all the presidential candidates.
Yeah.
So basically...
He scrapes and cleans.
Yeah.
So Elon Musk was...
So basically there was a...
What do you call it?
A good old Tom.
Musk paid this guy, this felon, James Howard Higgins, $50,000 for false information about a critic.
Musk also confirmed a meeting with Ghislaine Maxwell.
He was confirmed at a judo practice where she was, and he publicly admitted to training
there on May 7th, 2020.
Okay.
But she's been everywhere.
Yeah.
Okay, come on.
Listen, the richest guy with...
Come on, these people birds of a feather.
You know what I mean?
Like, oh, a chance meeting?
Come on, man.
We don't believe...
Oh, I get it.
It's not a chance meeting.
No.
So basically...
Well...
Fuck it.
What's that?
I don't know.
Here's the thing, you know.
And then they were gonna do...
Like, he says, Ghislaine gets around.
I think that's what Ghislaine means in French.
She gets around.
It's fat.
That's what she's mean.
Oh, and speaking of Maxwell, her father...
Robert Maxwell.
He's the one that actually created the...
He moved him over to the massage and he created the...
Oh, no.
But you know how, like, science papers, everything's gotta be verified and published?
He created that system.
Well, also, then he indoctrinated us with his textbooks for children.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know.
It's insane.
He was...
His shit runs deep.
I mean, also, he was...
He's the one who was, like, the mastermind of creating, like, honeypots and blackmailing
and using all of this stuff to fucking...
I mean, they were...
Well, he's the one that put it on the biggest scale possible.
Yes.
He figured out that we could use child trafficking and all of these other proclivities that people
have.
Right.
And use it against them in nefarious ways.
And that's what they're doing.
They're doing it for the rich.
At the time, it's just devious, you know what I mean?
But that's the type of people they are.
They don't give a shit.
They really don't.
They don't care about their own people.
We've talked about the Abrahamic...
Well, you know, that's all part of being a psychopath and a narcissist beyond compare,
where you only care about yourself and nobody else.
And anybody else is just a player or a piece in your fucking game.
You're a bull, man.
You just get to use and abuse.
Basically, well, you gotta...
Even his daughter.
...to make an omelet.
And then here we go now.
Here's a funny thing.
Oh, let's talk about too.
This guy that goes in front of the Trump Tower and burns a cyber truck.
Right.
That was a green beret, heavily decorated, highly respected, a real American hero.
A Trump voter too, right?
Yes.
And people...
Of course, from here on out, everything that ever happens, the guy's gonna be a Trump.
But they're not using it in a bad way.
His family said that.
Like, he was a...
You know what I mean?
Like, he was a American.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, yeah, no.
This was completely opposite of his MO.
So...
Well, he could be MK Altruid, man.
Well, no, but okay, well, let's face it.
He was shot in the head before he detonated the bomb.
Huh.
They came to find out.
But okay, what is the irony, though?
And they tried to say that it happened simultaneously on some TV.
Well, a Tesla truck in front of...
The Trump Tower.
Trump Tower with fireworks in it.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, come on, really.
You can't get more...
It's more posy.
It can be more faze.
Like, laziness.
But at the same time now, what is this supposed to do to us?
Yeah, well, Elon said he's sending his best techs out there to try to get the video footage
off the side of the truck to see what, you know...
They already got him at charge stations.
Like, they know, you know what I mean?
Was it the actual guy?
Well, the truck, that truck that they brought there.
The truck, so they don't...
And then also, this is...
We'll talk about this, which...
So, every time you charge one of those fucking things, it's getting documented somewhere.
That whole truck is recorded from the minute you park that truck.
I never thought of that.
And they have so many cameras around that thing.
So, yeah, they can watch you plug it in.
Dude, all night long, that thing's on.
I went in Carlos' car, man.
I couldn't believe...
Oh, yeah.
He's got one of those phones.
Oh, he's got Tesla.
Those things are...
Tesla recording all the fucking time.
I couldn't believe all the bullshit going on.
So many cameras.
I don't know how he could pay attention to the road.
I'd be looking at that screen the whole time.
I couldn't fucking care my eyes.
I couldn't figure it on the laptop.
Yeah, much bigger than the laptop.
Yeah, you get used to it, though.
But, what do you call it?
It's pretty cool.
So, they're getting back to...
Which is...
This is so funny.
So then...
But the thing's documenting your every fucking move.
Oh, yeah, it's recording you.
Checking your eyes.
Making sure your eyes are on the road that you're not sleeping.
It tells how your body's moving.
Every time you pick your ass and then sniff your fingers...
Oh, yeah.
It's mapping off when you're auto-driving.
Yeah.
Which is very funny.
It's catching all that shit.
So then...
Amazing.
We know that these two guys rented from the same place.
The car house.
The same car company was it?
The same car company.
Tour or...
Tour.
Yeah.
This is a car company, though, that you would rent from if you had bad credit or not.
No, it wasn't bad credit.
No, it wasn't a private citizen.
Yeah, so they have all these...
Right, it's not avis.
It's not enterprise.
It comes from middleman.
Yeah.
So then, basically...
You may save a few bucks, technically.
This is great.
Ever...
You cannot have a good conspiracy theory...
Or not even...
You know what?
I don't even want to use that word.
How about a pattern recognizer?
Because we just keep on recognizing these patterns over and over.
Absolutely.
Okay.
So there cannot be a good pattern recognition without a Clinton involved.
Yeah.
And here we go.
I was going to say, what's this?
Chelsea Clinton.
Da da da da.
Order of Hillary Clinton.
Her first steps.
It's on the board of IAC Incorporated, which holds a 31% stake in Turo.
Car sharing app used by the terrorists in New Orleans and Las Vegas to rent electric vehicles
for their attacks.
So now, technically, is that her first two bodies?
Yeah.
Ah, good question.
I have to look more into it, but yeah, it kind of sounds like she...
She urges...
I was going to say, she urges...
There's definitely a Clinton hand that blood needs to be...
But isn't that crazy?
It would have been better if it was 33%.
Yeah.
And it would have made it more believable.
Absolutely.
But what do you call it?
Wow.
Now it...
Isn't that funny though, like these little things that people find?
Chelsea's a dog too.
What's that?
She's a dog.
Yeah, she looks just like her mom.
She don't even look like her mom.
She looks like somebody completely different.
Well, no, did you ever see who the father they compared her to?
Yeah, they fucking...
Yeah, she is a looker.
But isn't that great that, what do you call it, that the Clintons are somehow involved
in this again?
Absolutely.
And not even...
Amazing.
Just now the daughter...
Dude, she's probably like a cat.
She probably like spray shit or when she's at people's house or she shoots it out her
ass or something.
How many died?
What, 15 plus the shooter in New Orleans?
Is that what it was?
Yeah.
Something like that?
I don't know exactly.
And then plus the one, so man, she's got 16 bodies already.
There.
Just catching up to her mom and dad.
Yeah, she's messing around.
No, not at all.
She's not gonna do it to her.
But she's gonna catch up either.
Well, she's like, my mom and dad started when they were much younger.
Yeah, you never know.
And then this is just my favorite headline.
Russia finds seven nightclub attendees for looking too gay and through choice of outfits.
You're the man.
Yeah.
Let me tell you.
We really, I mean, he's shutting that Y-mart shit down.
I mean, even if that's fake, I still love it.
I know it, because you can see it happening.
Just seven Fanooks dressed like we're in Leather-day-at-Y out.
Yeah, I showed that one to Mary and she busted out laughing.
I love that they find them too.
That's fantastic.
You look too gay.
A fun boy.
Yeah, a fun boy.
Get a room.
That's fucking great.
But no, it's very funny that we call it that the Clinton is somehow involved.
But okay, so get him back to this Tesla truck in front of Trump Tower.
Yeah, so ultimately fucking...
It couldn't be more symbolic.
I mean, it's like fucking crazy.
I mean, that is why it's there.
I mean, obviously they put it there for a reason.
Two in one day, fucking fireworks that go off and then we got another new one.
Did you see the film there?
It looked kind of cool though, the way the fireworks were scattering around and popping off everywhere.
But then we have a...
It just goes to show me...
You can see that it was fireworks.
They're telling you we can do another Oklahoma City.
We can do one.
You know what I mean?
This is just a reminder.
And then Elon's like, oh, look at this.
The guy, the terrorist used the wrong truck a little.
Did he know that?
It was like, dude, this motherfucker was a green beret.
You gotta tell me.
You know, he doesn't know.
That was a demolition inspection.
You should know better than anyone though, Needle said.
Elon's in on the fucking scam.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what you know what I mean.
It's come on, dude.
Play it fucking long.
You all go back to South Africa, figure it out.
Go to acting school.
Because you can't even...
It blows my mind the things that they try to do to us to like falter us.
Well, the problem is they bombard you so much.
Bullshit.
You know, the thing is they have to tell you the truth.
That's like their code of ethics.
And then here, you know what?
But yeah, they've just bombard you with all this fuckery.
Okay, so in Guatemala the other day, I was talking to Larry about this.
And not the other day.
This was November, I think it was.
You probably didn't even fucking hear about this.
And I will bet because Larry didn't hear about this.
No.
All right.
At least 200 children and women rescued from Lev to Hore Jewish sect.
So Lev to Hore...
We're in Salvador, Guatemala.
I thought it was Guatemala.
Did you see about that?
You know, I did.
I saw some on Instagram about that.
And it just got brushed right under the rug.
Of course it did.
So these guys have moved from less than 109 countries.
But uh, so they've been moving and basically what's happened is they're taking child brides.
There's a lot of human trafficking.
There's all of this shit going on.
And they state they aren't Zionists, which okay, hey, you know, a Zionist usually says
I'm not a Zionist.
Yeah.
I don't know what I mean.
It's like, tell her fat girl, you know, oh, she's fat.
I'm not a big...
How come the fridge always fucking...
I'm not a big grabber.
... keeps the snacks under control?
I didn't bring that.
The big girls always like conquering over the little hot ones.
They're always putting up the fridge garden of snacks.
They are.
They're always blocking.
I got this one.
I'm giving her a ride home tonight.
Oh, what did you want to talk about?
You want to talk about Larry?
Okay.
So I get out of the shower.
It's like 8.30 in the fucking morning.
Oh, yeah, that's total subject changing.
Oh, yeah.
New story.
Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong.
Oh, your Asian friend came over?
Yeah.
And I'm like, wow, this is exciting.
I wasn't expecting him so soon.
Fucking it was...
So dishonorable.
It was Tommy, the homeless guy that lives in Elgin.
Okay.
And first thing out of the...
You're the righted Tommy.
I got a lot of...
It was a conversation.
I got a lot of points.
I don't want to forget that.
They were very funny.
This is going to be good.
So he said...
And it's funny because we could...
You and I are going to bounce this back and forth because...
So I didn't meet the guy.
Are you going to go a little background?
Tell us about this time.
You have to meet this guy.
Yeah.
Well, I known him for years, man.
He used to work for Tim all the time, moving furniture.
Okay, so this guy's always been homeless?
Yes.
Okay.
He's always been a drug addict.
Just always moving around?
Yeah, he's been an alcoholic, but yes, he's a drug addict.
Okay.
He's a dabbler.
He's dabbling in all things, yes.
I don't think you dabble.
Anyway...
Okay, so that's...
So Tommy, the homeless guy, shows up.
Yeah, he does.
To your front door.
Yeah.
All right.
And first off, now, I think it's a fucking worker.
You got to shoot out.
Because he has...
No, he has like one of these bright orange worker things.
I'm thinking it's kind of mad to tell me that the fucking lions are going to be down for
a while.
And I just open the door and all I could smell is booze.
And he's like, hey man, happy new year.
He's like, I quit drinking.
Yeah, five minutes ago.
And he's got a monocone in his hand.
Oh, for drinking one.
Exactly.
Two seconds, right?
Exactly.
So I'm off the wagon.
What's that from Kingpin?
What, you buying?
Yeah, I'm off the wagon.
The wheel broke.
You had another wheel.
Yeah, he's like, yeah, no, I'm not drinking.
Well, you know, I quit drinking.
Well, today I'm drinking.
And he's fucking bad.
He's got a drink in his hand.
So now he's drinking.
He's like, fuck, you got a beer.
So then Mary's like, hey, can you go to Starbucks?
So it's like nine in the morning.
And he's like, oh, okay.
And I'm like, you can come with me.
And he's like, oh man, I haven't been in a car in like five years.
And I'm like, oh, he's like not even in a cop car.
And I go, this will be like a field trip for you.
I go, you get to ride in a car without handcuffs on.
You should have made him sit in the back seat.
I got these handcuffs.
Don't worry.
Don't mind the fur.
So we go to Starbucks and we're on the way back.
And he's like, hey, can you go to the liquor store, Big Shocker, right?
Yeah.
So he goes to the store, he quit drinking.
So we go to the liquor store.
And all of a sudden, man, pulled right into the spot next to me.
Norm, my next door neighbor.
He's like, hey, what's going on?
And I'm like, hey, Norm's guy gets out.
Yeah.
And so I'm like, great, Norm is getting fucking booze at nine in the morning too.
Nothing wrong with that.
It was pretty cool.
Norm's housed though, so he can do that.
Yeah.
So it was pretty fucked up.
But so he starts telling me about, you know, he's living down there and he's trying to
teach these guys.
He's been attacked by the river.
Oh, don't it?
No, LG?
Yeah, he's been attacked by the river.
Literally, how does he live?
Okay, now here's where his tent is.
He tells me there was this branch above my tent and I wanted to cut it down.
So I borrowed a saw from this guy and I started cutting it.
And I was like, fuck it.
It's going to take me forever.
So I just gave the saw back to him and left it.
And he goes and then about a week later, a month later, a storm comes through.
Let's guess what happened.
And knocks down a tree and that branch that he didn't cut off saved him.
So the tree is now leaning at.
So now he goes, and I got some really cool shit.
This Mexican guy gave me a roadwork ahead sign and then this one lady, her pug died
in a tent fire.
Down in a tent city?
Yeah.
So here's the, here's the, a pillow with the pug on it.
And he's like, so I got the little pillow and it's like my dog now.
The ashes?
No, just a pillow with a picture of a pug on it.
And then he goes, and then this other guy, Odead over there and the police tape was there.
And then I took down the police tape.
So I got that wrapped around my tent now and he's like, it looks really fucking cool.
It sounds like it sounds crazy.
It's homeless chic.
Fucking kid that's got down syndrome.
He just let him go in a junkyard.
And he, and he's like, he thinks he's the mayor of fucking home.
You know, he sounds like he may be.
And he's like, I go, so when you're here hanging out with me at my house, don't you worry like
someone's rifling through your shit in the tent.
And he goes like, like he's in charge.
Yeah.
They know better than the fuck with his time.
Well, the mayor's got to get out and go and hang out with other people and drink up.
He's got to make some calls.
And so he's telling me about the swim guy.
He's like, I'm not sure this one.
So he tells me, I tell him, how about the Harlins?
I go, how about every one of them's dead?
And he's like, even the old man.
Oh, he knew them?
Oh, he worked for Tim.
Yeah, because he worked for Tim.
And he goes, well, that guy had one foot on the banana peel and the other foot cut off.
And he's like, ooh, too soon.
I don't know.
That's pretty funny.
A little hurt?
No, the dad.
Remember his feet cut off from having diabetes and shit.
Those poor people.
Dude, they used to live in the basement and the kids lived upstairs.
Oh my God.
The house was destroyed.
There was holes in the garage.
It was so bad.
So bad.
So they would be fighting in dog shit.
Punching.
Dude.
Dude, they took a peep.
This is going on subject.
Oh, the floor.
Yeah.
So dog shit's on the floor.
Instead of picking it up, they're like, are you over whose dog it was?
And so they just put a big cardboard box over it and now start walking on it.
And it's part of the shit.
It's massed in the world.
It's part of the world.
You know what I mean?
It's like, holy fuck, dude.
And so no one's going to pick this up.
And the parents actually had to like go into like a corner in the basement.
Yeah.
And build a little room that they could be in to be away from these kids.
With their dogs.
They're upstairs smoking crack and fighting over a ton piece and shit all night long.
Goofy fucking shit going on.
They're all alcoholics.
Fuckin' Kurt.
Just do Kurt.
Kurt hit just bottles.
When Kurt died, did you know that there was just like gallons of milk jugs of piss?
He just pissed him.
Because he was so lazy.
And the bathroom was literally 10 feet from his fucking bedroom.
He was a bath, he was a carny.
Why am I not surprised?
Kurt was the shit.
So what happened was Kurt had a family and shit.
He had a dump truck.
A dump truck parked in front of his house.
And this is his daily driver?
Let me tell you something.
His wife, Maria, when he married, he married this one broad when we were younger.
Her name Maria, she was Greek.
She was the most beautiful girl.
I was like, Kurt, I don't know.
What the fuck you did to get this girl to say yes.
But no, no, this girl was like fucking beyond.
So then basically he had this company.
He was doing great.
He got a DUI and basically lost all his shit.
And the girl left him.
And he would sit in his parents' house and he would drink every day.
And he would throw the cans in the back of this dump truck.
The tan wheeler.
And it filled a fucking truck.
It was a dump truck.
It wasn't a tank.
Yeah, it was all he had.
The tan wheeler.
And it filled the whole thing up with cans.
It was a big motherfucker.
And everybody would throw their cans in there.
It wasn't just him.
But the whole fucking thing.
And then he turned and then one day he just left for the carnival.
And then he had no teeth.
He talked like Tom almost.
Well, a little worse.
Yeah, I felt it.
No, he was talking.
Yeah, I don't mean you know this.
And then he wore this fedora with a peacock feather.
How come this shit wasn't videotaped?
Oh, yeah.
Because there's a dirty camera back then.
I was like, because you can't even.
Right with our cameras back.
You can't write shit like that.
No, he was a fucking bastard.
Oh, right.
Getting back to your homeless guy.
Oh, yeah.
So yeah.
So he's telling me, yeah.
So, and then he goes, oh, that reminds me of a so-and-so bill or something.
He had all his toes cut off.
He goes, I don't know if it was like diabetes, frostbite, or just partying too much.
You know?
I'm like, oh, yeah.
Those are three very important.
Yeah, exactly.
He partied his toes.
Oh, man.
That's great.
There's got to be a genre of.
Oh, yeah, man.
And then, and so then there was two big tent fires there also.
Did you know this?
Yeah.
And he said that, well, no, he said that if they would have listened to him because
he told them, put the foods.
Yeah, listen to the mayor of them, Tent City.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Because they had these flues and he's like, I told him it's got to be two feet above
the tent.
Oh, yeah.
And it's got to go straight out.
And he said the guys that started the fires had it going out the side of their fucking
thing.
Yeah, well, how the fucking smoke come on?
Idiot.
Well, you know, this is Tent City.
Idiot.
I mean, we're not dealing with that.
They tried to Iggar Rig.
Yeah.
Iggar Rig to fire.
Yeah, Jerry Rig to fire.
Absolutely.
See, this, when you cut corners, even in tent cities.
Well, you can't do it horizontal though.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
He does think he's smoke rising.
Smoke rising.
And then it heats up and now it's burning.
Okay.
So the first, so then the first fire, you could see it literally tore through half of the
encampment.
Did it?
Yeah, you could see it from the road.
He said in the second fire is when the pug died.
Aw, man.
See, that's where I get sad.
Yeah, that's when I get pissed off that these people down there was fucking, you know, it's
so funny how we care more about animals than the homeless.
Well, they don't have a choice.
No, they don't.
It's just so funny.
And he said that there's three cats that people own that live there that, you know, they're
smoking crack or meth or whatever.
No one ever feeds them.
So they come to him and he feeds them.
He's like, so I take care of these cats too.
And he's like, I'm like, of course you do.
You have to.
You're the mayor.
Handing out checks.
Exactly.
That's why they gave him the pug pillow.
Some lady gave him the pillow.
That's the reminder of the dog that burned in the tent fires.
You're the mayor.
Yeah.
Good job, mayor.
Here's the seal.
Here's the seal of the city.
The funny part is they're literally 10, like 10 feet away from the edge of the Fox River.
Yeah, no water.
I mean, but they can't even figure out how to put a fire.
He lives on high ground close, close to the tracks between.
Well, he's got, he's got to overseas.
Yeah.
Thunderdome.
And he's like, and he says, are you right?
He's like, oh man, they got really good math and crack and fucking fentanyl and shit, of
course.
They do.
And I'm like, and then he apologizes to me because I gave him a stack of catechronic
stickers that he stuck up and down everywhere on all the train lines and shit.
And he's like, all the stickers I wore off, you need to give me another.
And I'm like, okay.
All right.
Homeward mayor, homeless.
Give him something to do and shit.
Dude, they just need some like bulldozers just to push that tent city right to the river.
But he said they're going to move them like to the place you told me.
Yes, needles.
And they don't want to go because not only is it heavily fucking infested with.
But it's also bad bugs, ticks, fleas, fucking every other fucking thing that a dog would
have, including roaches that a dog wouldn't have.
I wonder why that is.
Yeah.
Come on.
It's not like.
Except these are immigrants.
That's what I told Tommy.
They don't want to put you into the fucking Waldo.
So you're like, oh, this is great.
Well, because they're not from Guatemala or they're not from here.
But think about this though.
The crazy part is also is that people have died there.
Multiple people have died there and the police just let it go.
They're going to fire the police.
Just let it go.
It's kind of got to be expected though, right?
No.
And he doesn't want to leave because he's the mayor.
He lives there.
Because he can do it every once.
Absolutely.
All of a sudden he goes to this place where it's a different language.
He's not the mayor anymore.
And then, you know, now you got too fighting.
He gets a gang to New York.
Absolutely.
Now you got the fucking whatever.
And he said there's different sections of the 10th city too.
He said there's, he said there must be 500 Tommy.
Tommy the pug killer.
No, he didn't kill the pug.
That's a good name.
He said though, but there's big section of Mexicans and then there's a big section of
Venezuelans.
There's a big section of the Blacks and then there's the Blacks.
But everybody's separated, man.
So they're in the fucking prison.
All the head guys.
They made their own little prison.
Absolutely.
All the head guys get together.
We got to sacrifice this person tonight.
So now the thing is, is that they're going to try to push all these people into somewhere
they don't want to go.
And they don't want to go.
They want to stay there.
But wait, so what's wrong?
Why are they moving them?
What's wrong with this shit hole they were moving?
They killed my guy there.
And it's out in the open, man.
It's fucking up the city.
See the problem is that.
There's a whole tent city here.
So now they're going to fuck up buildings?
Well, no, it's all tents.
Oh yeah.
They're going to move them in.
They can't move them because they're going to be right back anyway.
What the problem is.
Can they just put a big fence around them and get in the cage?
Like thunder dome.
If you climb out.
You should build them a thunder dome.
Yeah.
If you can get to the top.
But what do you call it?
You survive.
And there's going to be shit thrown at you.
I think there's been like, because you can see there's like crosses.
Escape from New York.
Yeah.
There's like crosses.
Jump in the river.
You can see it.
So there's people live multiple people have died down there.
Yes.
Multiple.
He's using the fucking police tape to decorate his tent with.
Yeah.
It's like one of those guys on the accent wall.
Oh man.
But so I just don't understand how you can't sue the city.
Technically that's property right if someone dies there.
It sounds like these people.
Well how about your friend is telling me, wait, well, needle's the guy with the train.
He gets run out of the tent.
They're going to jack him up.
They're going to, they're going to set him up to rob him.
Yeah.
They're going to fucking kill the guy basically.
They're trying to.
And the train was coming.
Runs into a train running away from them.
It was coming, but I think it was only it was coming out of the station right there.
Because tent city.
So it wasn't going at full speed.
No, no, he had been dead.
That's what I'm saying.
It's a remarkable story.
It's probably like.
That's why you only get a little fucking turn up.
Two to three miles from the fucking.
What do you call it from the train station there downtown.
Yeah.
Tommy said it's on the very edge of the.
The library.
Yes.
And he's naming all these landmarks like I'm supposed to know.
And he's like, you know, the library over there.
Yeah.
If you go to the library, you can go inside.
And what the thing is, is that people congregate from tent city over to the library.
Because it's within walking distance.
And they're not.
They can't kick them out.
Well, they're dealing drugs.
Yeah.
They're doing.
He said because of the so many bombs and homeless that they can't sell singles around
there either.
Like the liquor stores and none of the.
Oh, yeah.
They're not allowed to.
No, he said they don't.
They have a new city ordinance.
Oh, okay.
I don't know.
I'm sure the Indians are finding out.
You gotta go further away from it.
Well, there's still can like in some places.
Well, they installed all these fucking cameras to that.
There's a shit ton of cameras.
And plus it's crazy because.
Not in the perimeter.
Well, the river walk is right there and the boat is right there.
You know, it's.
Yeah, the boat.
Yeah, the boat is right there downtown.
I mean, that's why it's horrible.
They do people are going, let's go to the Elgin boat.
They don't know anything about it.
And they're like, whoa, no, the boat is fucking there.
They don't.
Yeah, I'm sure there's a perimeter set up.
No, not even.
They just don't fuck around their security.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm sure the boat doesn't even let them.
But during the summer, they come and see it.
We're going to the boat.
Yeah, they come in here.
I know.
They're like, what the fuck is going on?
Your festival going on?
Like I said, I ran to the tent festival.
I ran into a lot of these people and I know and a lot of them are a if we want to be here,
we have to live cohesively with these people.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
You can't be acting a fool.
And you imagine most people are working together, but you always have some screwballs.
Well, yeah, there's a reason that they're I mean, come on, bring back a silence, right?
That's a problem is when they shut all these asylum down and started giving people all these
assessor eyes and all this crazy shit.
And then you start throwing crazy drugs into there.
Dude, that's like Bill Burst.
Every single fucking person I know that did those SSRIs committed suicide.
Yeah, it's just about me.
I know people that did.
Well, the problem is once you get off of those, every person a lot of suicidal thoughts.
If you it's like, we're on a suicidal thought.
Yeah, right.
And totally what do you call it?
It off.
Yeah, magnifies them.
Yeah.
Disclaimer.
The fucking disclaimer.
They're probably handing those things out like putting it.
They're probably putting that in the sandwiches.
I think they're I think they're cutting back in hand in those out though, because so many
people are like, what the fuck?
The thing is that there's OK, there's a fucking drug.
You don't see as many.
Here's a drug.
I'm happy.
Yeah, but you don't see as many depression drugs commercials on TV anymore.
They don't show that.
Now they show.
I haven't watched TV.
Well, you want to know why?
Because my wife watches TV like crazy.
24 seven she watches it.
I could I went in.
These weird names, they can't even put enough letters of the alphabet together.
And we're in order to come up with a new name.
So that's how fast they're coming out.
If you've got shit stain disease, you can't really shit yourself.
There's a fucking drug for everything.
You think you're shit yourself now waiting till you take it.
The worst is to lose fucking weight.
You get a loose asshole.
That's what it says.
You're going to have the bleaky discharge from your rectum.
You're going to have leaky blood.
And here's the other thing.
It doesn't.
Like, okay, I lost weight and you get off of it and everything's cool.
As soon as you get off of it, you become a fat ass.
Well, because you have no discipline.
That's what they tell you.
Right.
It's like, here you go.
Yeah, take this and it's going to make you lose weight.
Don't change anything out.
Yeah, don't change anything out.
Don't stop.
Just take this.
Don't fucking, you know, don't exercise.
And they had this other one where they show these up.
And that's all that's another side up to them.
Those ones are good for them.
They're like, they take the needle thing and they're holding it for 20 seconds and the
other fat ladies and 20 seconds a week and I'm losing 12%.
And I'm like, oh man, that cannot be good.
What the fuck is in there?
Oh, the needle.
Yeah.
I forgot.
She's got like a twitch afterwards.
I think it's kind of like a row or something.
Oh, you know what, they got so many back off.
I mean, it's just like, what the fuck is that?
And it says, if you're allergic to it, don't take it.
It's like, how do you know if you're a fucking learner?
The thing is that insurance doesn't cover it too, so it's big fucking money for that.
And who knows what the fuck you're putting in you.
You know, what the fuck is that?
So if you're losing weight, there's probably SV 40 in it.
The OZempic is gonna, I mean, we don't type this shit.
This is all legend because I don't want OZempic.
I don't want big O to come in.
Big pharma.
Big pharma could come in afterwards.
That'd be great.
So is that where your homeless journey ended?
Yeah, well, you know, I mean, he told me.
What was he drinking?
He was drinking Monaco.
Shout out to Monaco?
Yeah, and then he had this really weird color, like green one with lots of fucking.
Oh, I saw that upstairs and then I was like, that's a fucking weird one.
And I said, what flavor is that?
And he's like, I don't know, lime or something.
And I looked and it says margarita.
And I said, I think it says margarita.
He's like, ah, fuck you here.
Was he like a mad dog or something?
Fucking mayor is going to go back hammered.
And then he said to me.
And so then I played the piano and fucking played the guitar.
We sang.
He was drunk as shit.
So he's singing all this.
Two days.
You know, pink fly.
Right.
Yeah.
And then he laughed and he's like, I'm going to go visit my cousins.
And I think they still live there.
They live there since we were kids.
That's all you need is the mayor.
I'm going to go take the train.
You need bodyguards?
To my cousins.
He should have bodyguards.
Surprise visit from the mayor.
Yeah.
One guy with one leg.
Well, shit, dude.
I'm thinking what the fuck is going on?
Someone's frantically.
And then I think it's a, you know, the Wichita County line man or something.
The way he's dressed with that.
Or green.
That's what you would do with your escape convict.
Orange.
Yeah.
He looked like he worked on the fucking lines.
Polish prison escape.
He's fucking neon jacket.
Markets is mayor on the back.
He'll see on the mayor.
The best was he's like, Hey man, I quit drinking.
I could just smell the booze before he even spoke.
The guy to drink in his hand.
Wait, I mean, he.
I think maybe he opened it after he came in the house.
But the first thing out of his mouth is I quit drinking and he's staying.
And he did what water?
The fucking drink in his hand.
So how did he get the train?
He walked here.
No, the train.
He took the train.
You know how long it would take him?
Oh, yeah.
You can't leave 10 city that long without a mayor.
Right.
He's only, he can only be on for like less than six hours or else things will fall apart.
We're making light of this place like we were just talking about.
It's not funny.
A friend that I, acquaintance of mine, shall I say, just got chased out of there with a hatchet after trying to get robbed.
And the metro train hit him and it busted his arm up so it blew his arm apart.
It was crazy.
Amazing.
So this guy tried to cut him with a hatchet.
But then the best part is.
Oh, the best part is that they fucking want to sue him for running in.
Oh, they gave him a ticket.
Yeah.
The Metro police gave him a ticket for trespassing.
Yeah.
Well, he had a shattered arm.
This sounds like we need to do a pod at this place.
Can we do it at the mayor's place?
They gave him the ticket that kind of, you know, puts him at fault.
But you know what?
Anyone knows that that's not going to mean a fucking thing.
Listen, if you're coming out of Tensin-Yi, nothing good.
Right.
You're just having to run into a train.
He needs to have a attorney from the Simpsons.
What's that guy's name?
Lyle.
Oh, fuck, was that guy's name?
I forgot.
Yeah.
But no, that shit's hilarious.
That place is not to be fucked with.
No, no.
If I go there, I can go there because I know the mayor.
I wouldn't go in there if you knew the mayor.
I'm not.
I'm kidding.
And I told him it sounds terrible.
And Mary was like, wow.
And he told me, well, it's cool because this lady gave me, this one lady gave me a couple
of blankets and blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, she's like realizing, and he's literally has been there for three years
living in a tent.
He hasn't been indoors for three fucking years.
And he fucking, you know, his, like Grizzly Adams, the fucking huge beard, long hair.
Fries falling around in the cold.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, man.
Okay.
Hey, some people don't care.
You know, here's the thing though, like sometimes I give him shit, clothes, shoes, whatever.
And he said I'm one of the few people that are actually nice to him, so I can't fucking.
No, because he'll kill you.
No, he won't kill you.
Yeah, I mean, that's what it boils down to, right?
No, no, no.
Yeah, he looks at you.
Not all homeless are bad.
He's like the king of Siam over here.
He's got a house.
Yeah, but no, no, he's got electricity.
He's a nonviolent chap for sure.
He would not kill me.
Until you get violent.
No, no, no.
You don't get to become the mayor of Tent City.
Well, without having to fucking force the little mayor of Tent City, if you know what I mean.
You know, like you have to, you have to instill a little bit of fear.
You have to kiss the hand.
The dirty, ah, dirty fucking hand.
You know, it's just sticky with, there's like three branches and leaves on it from passing
out with alcohol stick.
You got like sticky hands from the alcohol.
A blackish, a blackish scene.
A little rubber stuck to it.
His face is stuck to the pug pillow.
He like gets up and pillow stuck to his face.
Oh man.
Oh, guys got to be a real good kisser too.
Oh man.
Jesus Christ.
And it's fucking.
It is just.
I said to him, don't, and he's like, man, I haven't fucking got laid in a long time.
And I'm like, well, dude, look at you.
And I go, don't you fucking bang any of them homeless chicks there?
He's like, yeah, well, they're all crazy.
And I'm like, oh, yeah, what's so are you?
Yeah, I mean.
What the fuck do you care if they're crazy?
You live in a tent.
The women are crazy there.
Absolutely they are.
I'm like, yeah, he's got standards.
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
The ironies is like they literally live right by the river.
Yeah, they couldn't put the fire.
Yeah, it's like you're looking at the water or like Bay burning.
Oh man.
Oh, they couldn't line up.
They couldn't line up like a bucket system or something.
Yeah, the bathing part.
That's, that's.
Oh, here we go.
So then he starts telling me all the bathrooms, all the toilets around that whole area.
They're not clean.
So where you can go take a shit or whatever he needed to do.
It's like India.
Because he's homeless.
Yeah, yeah.
But at least he has the courtesy to go indoors and he's like.
Oh, he shits.
At different establishments.
The library is a number one.
He's telling me all the different places.
Well, you can go to the hardware store.
And there's aces right there.
And then he said there's some other bread joint or something to make.
or something.
Sounds awful.
That he fucking, you know.
They have a revolving jorke,
almost people shitting their...
He keeps the dirtbags away from...
A lot of the places employ him
to get the riff raps from in front of the press.
And they let him use the show.
And he's like,
and I know all the riff raps.
The home was muscle.
So it's a great job.
So he's got money for a crack and fucking booze.
I get a free couple free bagels.
I get to take a shit.
Yeah.
He's a fucking guy.
Sounds like a horrible one.
He's a fucking trickster.
But no, it's crazy.
But he said,
oh, the good thing is, is I learned Spanish.
And I'm like, that's great, dude.
He's like, you know,
because I'm a Mexican.
No, you don't.
No, I don't.
I'm like, yeah, awesome.
Where is the shower?
God, what a horrible life living in a tent.
And it was so fucking ironic
because it's not like I'm the cleanest motherfucker,
but here I am coming right out of the shower
and he's knocking on the door
and he's the dirtiest, filthiest fucking thing.
You're like, I should have waited six hours.
But you let him sit down?
Yeah.
Right where I was sitting.
Dude, you get bad bugs, man.
Dude, that's where you're like,
throw fucking paper.
He doesn't have a bed.
That don't mean anything.
They got piles of clothes.
He's got tent bugs.
You gotta remember,
people are rotating through there.
If he's the mayor,
how many people are his public population going out there?
You know, I did start itching
when I came in here.
Dude, I had bad bugs once,
fucked that shit.
I didn't let them in my bedroom.
Yeah, they don't give a fuck, dude.
They're like, not fucking bugs.
Oh yeah, they just take over.
They don't give a fuck if you're white or you're black
or you're fucking vegetarian.
And they take over.
I don't know.
I think they don't bite tiny hats, though.
There's something in them.
Oh, fuck me, man.
She doesn't let them over there.
I should have invited homeless people in your house.
I didn't invite them over.
Well, you let them in.
I mean, that's technically inviting.
Don't you have a peephole?
Here's the thing, I wouldn't have turned them away.
Yeah, I didn't invite them in.
I just said I didn't invite them in.
I would invite them in.
I guess the way, you know, it's not like I sent them an invitation.
I quit drinking.
Yeah, that's very good.
I didn't send them an invitation to come over,
but yeah, the motherfucker knocked on my door.
It was a random visit.
They'll be great if they set up a tent in your front yard.
Stay out there, dude.
I'll be out in a minute.
Here, I got a lairism for you.
In 1582, Pope Gregory XI changed the New Year date
from April 1st to January 1st.
Some people ignored the change and kept celebrating on April 1st.
They were called fools, and this led to the tradition of April Fool's Day.
Absolutely.
Because we just talked about this with our local correspondent,
Senior Wolfers, for the FBI and the CIA,
which I tried to contact him on a satellite phone today,
but he's out in the field right now.
Yeah, he's gathering data.
He's out in the field kidnapping pugs and fucking putting things up their ass.
He didn't listen to the episode.
Oh, dude, you gotta listen to what this fucking kid was saying.
Oh, man.
He said that he kidnapped...
I asked him a real innocent question,
and it just goes sideways instantly.
He said he stole...
He did his van and was kidnapping children.
I was like, oh, dude, that sounds bad.
And he's like, and then we're putting five pounds of marijuana...
Five pounds of marijuana up their...
Up the pugs' butt.
Because he had a pug gang.
That's a dirty joke.
That's why pugs on pot.
They're all his mules.
Oh, jeez.
And I'm like, five pounds sounds like a lot for a pug.
I mean, like...
Daily wait five pounds.
Oh, yeah, if you're lucky.
He won't sell them all.
But he was very adamant about...
It was funny.
Yeah, he was very funny.
Poor kid.
He's got needles for a dead.
Oh, stop.
Get the fuck out of here, man.
So what do you call it?
Yeah, no, I tried to get him out of the field and see if he could call him.
But his mom said no.
Yeah.
Back to work.
All right, so how many people do you think got killed last year in Chicago?
Oh, man.
Well, it's probably...
Because we were a little under 2000.
Well, are we talking like gun murders?
Murder.
Just murders.
Just how many people got murdered in Chicago?
683.
I'm saying probably...
850.
609.
Wow, okay.
Isn't that crazy?
Very good, Kee-Kee.
Almost 3,000 people shot.
But you know they're under reporting, too.
Wow, yeah, right?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, because there's all...
I mean, listen, who fucking knows?
Right.
I mean, at this point in time, what's going on down there?
But anyways, that was a good guess and that was good.
In 2000s, that was New York in the 80s.
Yeah.
You say you get 2,000 fucking murders.
Yeah.
Which is crazy and now they're lower than we are.
Well, yeah.
Isn't that fucked up?
And it's crazy there, too.
Yeah, I think we average in between like 600 and 800 a year.
I think, no, this isn't the highest we've had, yeah, but it's close.
No, but it's like an A.
Yeah, it's been a steady average.
But that's wonderful.
That's so messed up.
I mean, so it's like basically two a day.
Yeah, we're definitely...
You're even higher.
And people are worried about...
I was just like, I'm not gonna go to the hospital.
I mean, they're even higher.
People are worried about what do you call it?
Schools and shit?
Like we have the worst schools.
We talked about that.
How that one school had all.
Two a day keeps the doctor away.
They had like 300, they could have 300 kids enrolled.
There was 93.
And then they hired more teachers and stuff like this just to pad everything.
And it was like $100,000 per kid.
Honestly, some kids, they're better off on the street.
None of them could do this.
No, dude, they're not better off.
They could barely read.
Yeah, they're not better off on the street.
They need teachers that are fucking teaching them.
And here's the problem.
And we all know the answer to all the problem with all of these kids that are fucked up like that.
It's no fucking parents, no dad.
There's no discipline.
There's no families, well, yeah.
I mean, also that's just...
There's a difference of a kid where if he goes home and he knows my dad is gonna beat the fucking shit out of me when he's here.
Or a kid that has no consequences and he tells his mom, fuck you, old lady.
You know, I mean, there you go.
Well, no, it's even like the guy you said you were working with couldn't read a tape measure.
Oh, yeah.
Tell him, man.
Idiot.
It's gotta be a fucking law.
I'll tell you, I mean...
And he's a construction guy that's bending pipe.
I mean, I...
Well, no, he was an apprentice.
So he's still learning.
So he was an apprentice.
He was of an African-American heritage.
And so we were trying to explain to him...
Well, probably never seen a tape measure.
Well, no, he supposedly went through some of the union training.
Yeah, alright.
Okay, so that should be day one.
Here's how you do a tape measure.
So then we tried to work with them.
We tried to work with them.
And the way that he could only figure it out as we finally realized it was to break it down like selling drugs.
And then he got it.
Which makes sense.
Yeah, it really does.
He's like, oh, okay.
Imagine you're weighing drugs.
Yeah.
He's like, what do you mean?
We're like, well, here's an eighth.
Here's a quarter.
One inch, an ounce.
You know what I mean?
Here's a half ounce.
And he's like, oh, shit.
And we're like, sixteenths.
What's that?
And he's like, oh, shit.
Now you're learning both worlds.
Yeah.
It was like...
Well, now you put two together like totally shit.
Yeah, which you...
You know what I mean?
You just had to...
But they probably don't even know what a sixteenth means.
They just know that it's this much weight.
Yeah, but that's a thing.
Like a tenor or something like that.
I don't know how many grams, but this point is...
Teenager.
I don't know why they called it that.
Because I guess little kids selling...
They do like tents.
They used to do tents for when we were by dope.
One pill was a tent.
Like you know what the dubs mean, man?
The doubles is a double-sized capsule.
Yeah, there's two tents.
Yeah, there's two tents and one...
When I was getting the capsules the other day for the shrooms,
I saw triples.
Triples, yeah.
They wanted all kinds of money for that.
I was like, I can't do it.
They wanted like...
The pack I got was like eight dollars.
And then it was like the difference of like thirty-five dollars.
Oh, for the bigger capsules.
Just because they're bigger capsules.
Like the big motherfuckers.
Yeah, whatever.
Yeah, I mean, isn't that crazy though?
Yeah, you just take a couple of the smaller ones.
The crazy thing is they just sell empty capsules.
You can put in there whatever you want.
You can hang on, anybody can just buy capsules
and just put drugs in it and sell it.
That's great.
I remember by the way, we used to go through in the city.
This guy would have two shoeboxes filled with capsules, dope.
Just filled with dope.
And then this way home they'd be two shoeboxes filled with cash.
No, by noon.
But no, by noon the other guy would come and pick it up.
What's he thinking?
He had to be otherwise he'd be dead.
I mean, we're talking thousands and thousands of fucking...
And they would be gone by noon.
How many times have I thought, man?
I'd love to just fucking...
When I drove a cab, I would drive this guy around to do all the deals.
So I would just drive him around all day in a cab.
And then he would fucking pay me.
You know, like when you're waiting, everybody's in line.
When it's in a car and everybody's on the same street.
You know, okay.
And then the guy's late.
And then so then you know you're the first guy that he hooks up
and it's like, man, right now is the time.
And then you wonder, would all the rest of these fucking junkies
have the balls to move on you and do something
if you did jack this motherfucker up?
Then you'd never be able to go back there again, of course.
But you do have a long supply.
But maybe somebody's probably watching them.
Yeah, there's usually two cars that go with you.
That was the thing that always stopped me.
They protected money.
They're not stupid.
That's why...
And that's why I always fucking didn't do it.
Because I think, man, this guy's got to have something going on
because to come up with all this bullshit so brazenly and fucking...
With a line.
Yeah.
This guy would fucking...
It's like somebody's...
A shoebox filled with cash and just handed out the window
the guy would have another shoebox filled with caps.
That's crazy.
And it would just happen all fucking...
People are lining up to get like Zeppelin tickets, man.
Oh, yeah.
And like Larry said, they're fucking...
They're all stupid.
There would just be 20 cars parked on the side of the street.
Yeah.
And here's the sad part is you'd see some lady in her fucking house
and her kids and you'd think, man, she knows every person...
Because you're in a fucking, you know, total ghetto.
School zone.
Yeah, or something like that.
Yeah, nothing really mattered.
She knows why everyone's there and I've had...
We've had people fucking...
I've had people confront us.
One time me and Niels were sitting in a car at some like church's chicken or something.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I heard off of first.
And there was this black lady on the phone walking by
and she's like, I've just seen two white boys in a car.
That can't be no good.
We bust out laughing and she's absolutely...
She was right.
Yeah, she ain't dumb.
But the funny thing is...
Not her first rodeo.
The funny thing is it's like...
Yeah.
Think about it.
You gotta feel bad for the fucking people that live there.
Two white kids sitting in church's chicken, not eating chicken.
Yeah, yeah.
What do you think we're doing in the middle of the hood?
And the black lady...
It can't be good.
You know what I mean?
The black lady's like...
This can't be good.
What do you mean this can't be good?
You know exactly what's going on here.
Now it's like all of a sudden there were like two...
Two black guys sitting in the parking lot of a fucking taco bell.
Right.
Like, oh, that ain't good.
I was like, what the fuck's going on?
What's about to happen here?
That ain't good at all.
You keep an eye on those guys.
But no, that was...
Oh, man.
That was pretty funny.
I was like, dude, he would go down to the city, rush hour, just blasting down the...
Shoulder.
The shoulder.
Everybody sitting in traffic.
It was supposed to be an hour ride.
I don't know if it was a 35 minute...
Exactly rush hour, but...
Sometimes it was.
We did do some shoulder blasting.
Garbage on the shoulder just fucking ricocheted.
Dude, it's totally...
And then on the way home, though, man, we drove real slow.
Yeah, I wonder why.
We wanted to relish in this situation.
We'd be listening to either was NWA, Niggers for Life, or fucking...
Branson.
Branson and Outcome the Wolves.
Those are two tapes that I had.
And then we'd be like, all of a sudden we're driving...
Like a complete 180.
Oh, totally.
Yeah, driving in traffic.
Blah!
We drove like in the wake of...
Yeah, hot.
People badly are dead, too.
You want to hear a great Larry and I story?
Dude, so one day...
He's like, oh no.
Dude, one day we got fucking...
We got high on dope, on heroin.
And we went for a ride on Larry's scooter, Larry.
So I sat on the back and I had my arms around.
And we drove down the street and we were at a stoplight.
And so Larry stops and I just nod out and I wake up and it's a minivan with kids in the van.
And they're just staring at us.
I look over and Larry's nodded out.
And we're doing...
He's a driver?
Yeah, he's waiting at the traffic light.
So then we go down the street to this reservoir.
And I'm just fucking going and I'm following this path and I'm like, well this is pretty cool.
We go into the big reservoir down the street from here and we're driving around the reservoir.
No more...
So we're just doing laps around the reservoir.
There's two people there.
And then we go into the woods and we like end up in some lady's backyard.
They're having like a party.
It's like a family and having tea or lunch or something.
And I'm like, wow, look at this and there's this...
He gets rid of his shirt off and there's this little bridge.
And we're riding through like the woods and all of a sudden there's this little wooden bridge.
And I'm like, wow, this is really weird and I go over and we're in someone's backyard.
And I'm like, what the fuck man?
We have to get off the moped.
And then he's got to back it up.
And I mean, we look like death has come over.
And I mean, I've been on a bender for like two years already right now.
So I just look like death and Larry, I mean, look at him.
Imagine when he's dope, I mean, he's size how.
And we're just like, look at these people.
We're just like back and I'm like back and he's moving.
I'm like, oh wow, I'm sorry, I tell the people.
Hold the moped backwards into their yard facing them.
And I just get on and we drive through the...
Take off.
Go over.
It was literally a little wooden bridge like this.
That went over like a little...
The grandfather built it.
By the fucking baseball diamonds over by fucking...
Medina.
By Vinny's house.
Oh, over there.
Over there.
And he's like, oh, how he ended up with these people.
Oh man.
And then we would go right around the baseball field.
Two grown men.
So that always makes me laugh.
Because I didn't know how we got anywhere.
It was like time travel.
Yeah, like drive and then you wake up and you'd be like, where the fuck am I?
And then Larry would be like, where are we?
Like what the fuck man?
Every time you stop, it's a new day.
Sometimes you snap on it and you're like, man, we really...
I went a long distance from where I thought I was.
I have no idea what the fuck just happened.
Like pulling here, that's our go-to drugs kids.
Yeah.
They're not as cool as they used to be.
No, or at least when you first start doing them.
Yeah, now they're going to be...
Now it's too dangerous.
Yeah, it's too crazy.
What time are we looking at?
Yeah.
105.
That's very nice.
Yeah, it is craziness.
Yeah, that was some good shit though, man.
We also went almost... I think we went down there and copped one time on the fucking scooter too.
Oh, did you see it?
At least I know I did.
And I think I remember coming back one time with needles on the back slumped over.
It was very dangerous.
I'm surprised it was.
Very fucking dangerous.
I don't think you're allowed to be in the highway with this shit.
No, no, we didn't go on the highway.
We were on the highway.
We were on surface roads, man.
It's like 30 miles from the city on this fucking time stream.
And then he's bitching at me because I got to be needles.
You know, so I got all my gear on me.
So it's like, now you're just out in the open.
Totally.
Park the bike here and I'm just behind you.
You're on a party.
I'm on the road.
You're on a fucking motorbike.
Behind a dumpster.
Like, all right, he's bitching.
He's like, we gotta go, we gotta go.
I'm like, dude, fucking relax, man.
Kids gotta do this thing.
Hoping you don't hit a pothole.
It's very fun.
So, all right, well, it's crazy.
It's good to have Kiki back.
Yeah, it's good to be there.
Hey man, happy New Year guys.
Love you.
Yeah, it's 2025.
Love you guys.
Likewise, brother.
Tom Spreaklin.
Shout out to our boys, John Lack.
He's got some specials.
Yeah, he's got a January thing.
It's called the January Love Affair.
That's what the coat hanger shape like a J.
Yeah.
At times, Spreaklin, a automotive and veterinarian services.
It's a good place.
Did he say he's got some new videos on YouTube now, like self-help?
Like, do it yourself?
Don't do this.
Do the opposite of what I say.
Self-help.
Pumping and dumping.
Self-help.
You got a metal coat hanger in your house.
Oh, man.
You're in a pinch.
No, that's not the thing to do.
Do you got one?
No, I don't.
I lost it.
We can go out.
The like, follow, subscribe if you listen to this one.
Yes, yes.
Like, follow, subscribe.
And let me get this fucking intro outro thing going.
Shout out to all our boys and stuff.
Thanks for listening.
All of our listeners that actually listen, man.
We love you guys.
You're the fucking greatest.
I'm not kidding.
You got a Christmas tingle?
That's why you don't rush the time.
If you got a Christmas tingle, what?
No, if you got a tingle from your Christmas jingle, call Tom's.
Yeah.
All right, y'all.
Peace.