time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.
Music
Hey everybody, welcome to Larry and Needles show. I'm Larry. I'm Needles. I'm Kiki.
And we're really, really glad to be here. Yeah, we are. It's a beautiful day out today.
It really is. It was gorgeous. It still is.
I mean, should we just start off by saying, fuck YouTube? Yeah. I mean, bunch of fucking.
These guys and these guys, we, so
I don't know if you guys listen to us. We talk about some things that aren't exactly
you want to talk about the dinner table when you go to Thanksgiving. Is that really peace?
No, not at all. So we got to not, that's not why they knocked us.
I know, but I was getting to that point, Larry. Okay. So if you, I'm giving them a back
story, obviously that they listen, they know what we talk about. Yes. Okay. So now
fucking these guys give us a fucking another
ding about the shots. So let's keep it at that.
Let's not deviate from saying it like that because I think we can get away with that.
So we actually got a ding even though we talked about Hunter Biden's laptop
with the pedophilia and little girls, all this
other crazy shit. And this is what they get, they ding us for.
So fuck you, YouTube. Even though, you know what, and they screw with our algorithm
because we get a lot of down roads. A lot of shadow banning going on.
Well, I know it's not shadow banning, but they remove likes. Well, they remove likes and they
push you to the bottom so people can't find you. They have to search you out and they have to, it's very
difficult to find you. Yeah, even when Larry was watching it, I remember
he kept recording it and his thumbs up kept popping up. Yeah.
And then they did something. At least six of them during the one episode
that I watched. And then when I went back to see the likes on the thing and it had one and I'm like,
wait a minute, I saw a few of them go down right before my eyes. Well, it was
up for a couple days too. Unless people put a thumbs up and then watch the episode.
Take it away. But it was up for
a couple days. So there was like 20 something people watched it. So somebody
had to report it. It was kind of funny. Like I wonder if somebody reported it because we've
gotten, well, no, I think it's AI. They just have AI going through it.
But it would go through it instantaneously though. Remember the other
episode we had, we loaded it up and the next day it got taken down.
Wasn't this one, what did this one take? It took a week. It took almost, well, it was
two weeks ago. It was a couple days because I noticed when I was at work.
Because there was a skip in the timeline of missing an episode.
So listen, we do this for fun. We're not going to monetize because I've gotten emails
about monetizing the podcast and selling
advertising space and bullshit like that. And there's no way
we're bending at the knee for advertising. Because we want to keep it real for you guys out there.
Well, we're doing this for fun. Listening. Yeah, but we also want to be real.
We don't want to have to watch out words. I mean, I may force you guys into advertising.
If it's a guy, panty vending machine or something. Yeah, Kiki's going to run a laundry
service. Just underwear. For college girls.
Underwear only. Just walking around with them on your head like
Bane. You know, they did a lapel mic for you. Yeah.
Which is great. So yeah, so it's crazy that we can't.
Freedom of speeches. Even though there's, even though it's been proven
that what's going on in the atmosphere of
what they've given people, which us three have not taken it.
And here's the thing now. Here's the thing. You know that the World Health Organization
they only have your best interest in mind. They do.
They really do. I don't believe those words came out of your mouth.
Even if you're joking. I mean, come on. But no, so
I don't know. We're going to keep on keeping on, you know.
Kill them all and let God sort them out, right?
And obviously, we don't care if we're on YouTube or not. It doesn't really matter because
who the hell wants to look at our ugly mugs anyways. We do this for fun. I train with my boys
two times a week. We do Krav Maga and then this is what we do for fun.
You know, so it's like, we are some way. This is our release. Yeah, this is what it is.
We get more listeners off of YouTube, but it is. We don't.
Not at all. No, we get more. We get more
followers that listen to it that aren't on YouTube. There you go.
That's what you mean. But the few that we do get on YouTube, the 50, whatever
people between 15 and 50 people each episode
is 50 more people. Yeah, we even broke a hundred, even though we're getting hundreds of downloads.
But that's fine though. So thank you for listening. We love you and dealing with our
bullshit and we're just going to keep on talking shit and do it our way. Hey, today is
Trump's birthday. Happy birthday, Donald. Is it? Yeah. Whatever.
He's a Zionist shill. I thought you were going to say he's a vagina.
Oh, man, also, he's a vagina grabber. No, yeah. Well, yeah. Sometimes you
got to grab the world by the pussy or whatever. If you, yeah, I mean, we can relate
to him. Well, yeah, I mean, then you go to jail, but later he already knows that. That's why
I can't go buy a pool, a public pool or a school. Can I hit that Larry, please?
You think it was in a hundred yards? Yeah, no. So I mean, I hate
to rant about that shit. Hey, I got one I thought. Okay, what's
that? An expression that used to be something that was like sort of
a compliment, but now it's probably more of a put down.
What's that? You're gay. Yeah. Like when someone would do
something cool for you or something nice and you
hear someone say, oh, yeah, that was mighty white of you.
Now, right? Now that doesn't quite mean
the same thing. Yeah, because we're the devil. It's not good to be white. White's are the devil now.
You know what I mean? It's a bad thing to be white. Isn't it funny though how that changed?
Well, I mean, people don't even say it anymore. Well, first of all, words are hurting so many
people nowadays because when people say nigga,
I almost blended that from words once. But listen,
so when people say what that chick said and it's like, oh, it's like everybody
calls each other this. People say it in music, but if a certain race
says it, you know what I mean? Like all of a sudden now you own this word
that you tell us that we can't say, get the hell out of here. What are we doing wrong?
We're not doing anything wrong. And we're going to get into
and we're going to get in. We're going to do a new segment today about
Chicago crime, which I find fascinating. Yeah.
It's just statistics and numbers. But you know what? This country's got a real problem
and you know what their problem is? The government paying out
sexual sexual misconduct fines over
17 million dollars last year. I thought you were going to say black people.
So flip it.
That was key. So there's
I mean, like I said, I mean, I don't know. I don't understand what you think I mean. They don't mean.
It's not a sexual misconduct. I'm going to get in a fight.
This is taxpayer money. You're going to get a $10
I don't know why you got to get to a vulgar all of a sudden. What is the sexual misconduct?
Well, obviously, I mean, it sounds like he was maybe on that list.
Yeah, it's like, wait a minute.
So basically Congress in Congress is 17 million
sexual misconduct, hush money, fund campaign, finance violations.
17 million dollars.
This is to do with the government or the whole. This is in Congress.
So mass. And they act like Trump's a bad guy because he fucked
Stormy Daniels. The problem is that they just project people.
You know what I mean? When you're like, hey, you shouldn't be drinking so much. You're going home.
Or maybe you don't push your girl when you're going home beating your wife.
Don't have sex with that dog. Next thing you know.
So this is like other workers.
Yeah. So this is against other women. And you know those guys have a couple lunch martinis.
Oh, yeah. And here's the thing. Some of the old timers that were around before everything had to be so
politically correct. Are used to slapping a little ass and shit.
Well, I mean, and they've been there since the 40s. Yeah, they've been saying
they've been saying they've been saying they've been saying they've been
slapping. And they've been there since the 40s. Yeah, they've been slapping.
It's hard to say. I'm going to tell you right now.
You don't have to adapt and overcome and learn. These people
are unwilling to learn. Which is the problem. You know what
they don't care because we're paying for it. And that's exactly why.
We're just promoting sexual violence in Congress. They probably got deals
with these chicks. Do sweetie. I'm going to slap your ass in front of everybody.
You're going to do an extra $10. You're going to you're going to go
file a charge against them. I don't think it's always. I think it's
you know what I mean? I think it's behind closed doors. Come and sit in daddy's lap
and watch this, bro. I'm going to tell you too right now. You don't know how many of these might be fake too.
Right, right. You know, there's not exactly. It might not be just 100% of doing
that. You don't need any proof for anything. They're just going to pay them out.
These rappers are these rock stars who fuck these chicks and then they turn around and say,
oh, he drugged me and he fucked me and this and that. And it's like, you know,
every chick they have sex with, they got to be like, oh my God, this bitch is going to
fucking. Yeah, but at the same time, there's 50 other rock stars
that have done bad shit. They write about it and talk about it.
The written word right now, all you have to do is just read
somebody's book and you're like, man, this guy was a real fucking sicko. And now all of a sudden
he found God and he's sober and everybody's like, all right. Except the
sober part. No, that's what happens when you get older though. What's that? You realize how
much of a degenerate you are. You start feeling. I don't know about that. There's still people that
live. They'll live by the sword. I start feeling bad. Okay, well, dude, who was that one rapper he used to say he would have to
after he busted the busted nut in his rubber, he poured Tabasco in it. So the broads couldn't
like was it a rapper? I thought it was a ball player. It could probably may have been a basketball player.
But yeah, so you didn't drink it. Well, no, so the broads couldn't take the rubber.
Yeah, that's a good idea. Well, obviously the guy learned the hard way once
or he learned from somebody else. That's some real fucking ghetto. That's ghetto
artificial insemination. That's a little burn. Just don't put on hot
cheetos. I remember my dad's fucking Vietnam buddy used to tell me when I was a kid, he'd be like
before you fucking bang a whore, drink a beer so after you're done, you could give a real good hard piss
and piss out any VD and also before you bang her, dip your finger. I know that was his name.
Yeah, I know. It's some hard alcohol. Like, fuck or something while your finger banging her and if she's like,
oh, that means she's got open sores. It's some sadistic stuff right there, man.
I'm just telling you what the guy told me when I was like mine. I prefer to look at it. Yeah, exactly.
Make sure there's no open sores. Yeah, but you can't see inside. You're not going to open it up and get it light.
Well, I'll speckle him with you. If it's on the inside, it's probably on the outside. Oh, yeah, let me tell you.
That always does. Let me tell you, the bridge of that tunnel is probably covered in speed bumps. Yeah, definitely.
That's the one that's getting to those. Sometimes you don't notice though.
You ever see a dental dam to eat box? No. It's like a face mask. We talked about this.
And then it goes, okay, well, I'm explaining to Kiki. Thanks. So you don't ramp it on the piss?
No, no, you put it on your mouth and then it's like a tongue rubber. And then you just lick away.
That's ridiculous. I actually get a great dental dam story. It's not me though.
Okay, it's your cousin? No, it was a friend. It was a Mexican buddy from high school.
It's his friend he told me to ask. Well, we were in Vegas and it was funny because he was telling the story.
He's like, oh, he's eating this broad pussy out and she made me use a dental dam.
And as I was doing it, I cut her trying to dig through my wallet. She was trying to rip them off.
Well, that's what they do. Well, that's what they do. Cheese, man. Yeah, I mean, this chick, she's like Vishnu.
With all the fricking arms and shit, just abandoned all over the place, man.
I got my, uh, remember my little things from the 1400s in Europe? All my little things.
What things? Kiki sent me a couple. Those are good. Are you sending him shit now?
These are good. These are good. Why didn't you read them? Well, because it's his stick.
He sends it to me. It's his schtick. Okay. The clinking of the glass when they're like, cheers.
You know why they do that? Like if you notice now they just do it like little taps.
But in the old days, like if you've ever been to Germany or in the old days, they would smash those fuckers together hard
and beers spilling all over or whatever. Okay. And they're spilling into each other.
It was to make sure that the person serving you your drink wasn't poisoning you.
Wait a second. Wait a second. Your drinks would get intermingled in that way.
Yeah, cheers. If it was poisoning you, everybody's gonna...
But you need another beer after that, then. Make it poison you again.
So you had to smash every single one against each other?
No, no. So you say cheers and then the beer's...the drink on top spills into everybody else's glass.
And then that way if there's poison, it goes into everyone's glass.
What kind of people are these guys hanging out with? What are these orcsists?
Back in the day? Yeah, that's like, you know, a lot of people...
How about fucking...a lot of people get poisoned. How about the Romanovs pointed that Rasputin guy?
They couldn't kill him. You know about Rasputin. You're a college.
I couldn't understand you. Your moshmouth's slowing down. Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Yeah, I heard Rasputin. That's it. You got cottonmouth. That's what it is.
When the Romanovs family of Russia wanted to kill Rasputin and they poisoned him and they were like,
what the fuck, this guy is not dying. He drank like, you know, a gallon of poison.
Then finally they shot him through him in a fucking river, a frozen ass river.
The motherfucker still survived and came out after that. They shot him like nine times.
So you never know. They might try and poison you. So that is where the cleaning came from.
Oh, that's what...okay. I mean, get it all in the...
There's an insomno, but you know where the handshake came from?
To make sure motherfucker doesn't have a gun in his hand. You walk up and shake hands.
It's to make sure he doesn't have a weapon at night.
What about his other hand? Well, okay. I don't know.
Most people are right handed. That's what I heard. That's what I heard.
Yeah, well, that's where it comes from. Yeah, and that's why you only shake with your right hand.
Because most people are right handed, so that's what they're doing.
You don't shake with your left hand.
Most people. But that's what's cool.
Okay. I mean, that was...
And then the other thing was just some customs difference from the Orientals in us.
But hey, let's just think about when Putin and Kim Young went to home.
When they got together and they wouldn't drink anything.
I think that's when edited though.
I'm sure they're paranoid as fuck.
Well, no, but the look they give...
You know how many people are Russians poison with uranium and shit?
Yeah, it's proven.
There was actually that kind of...
That's like their favorite thing.
The alvany was poisoned with that.
Oh yeah, even in London too.
When I was on tour in Europe, they were poisoned, a spy and his daughter.
Oh, they were in Europe at that time?
Yes, and I'm like, holy fuck man.
Yeah, that's what I was just talking about.
Yeah, right? I think it was in London.
They were talking about it on the radio.
What was it?
Very amazing.
And the guy's daughter.
Yeah.
And they could tell it was uranium poisoning by the speed and the way that the guy died.
They could also test their blood.
They're going to be uranium rich.
It's not exactly...
Yeah, it's not exactly...
Normal.
Yeah, it's not exactly...
You don't even got to test the blood.
I think you just go at it with the fucking...
Well, you can know...
When they have radiation poisoning...
It's obvious.
The Geiger counter.
Yeah.
You just take...
That's just fake.
Those guys just tap those together.
So like if you get a gift...
Okay, so you get a gift from an Oriental...
What's that?
If you get a gift from an Oriental...
No, man.
And you say like you're in Japan or Asia, wherever the fuck they live.
If you get it, you got to just like say, oh, thanks.
And just put it to the side and don't open it in front of them.
Because if you open it in front of them, you're considered greedy and impatient.
Yeah.
And rude.
But if you get a gift here and you're with someone and they don't open it in front of you,
you're like, fuck man.
You're rude.
It's kind of rude.
It's the exact opposite.
So one time I was in Amsterdam.
Or no, where was I?
I was somewhere and someone asked me for a fucking cigarette.
And I literally had one cigarette left.
So I just handed him the whole pack.
And he got all in my face and he's like, that's like the fucking insult to hand someone the last cigarette.
And I'm like, dude, where I'm from.
I'm from America.
I'm like, I'm a Mexican town.
Giving away your last cigarette is about as fucking cool as you can get.
And then he was like, sorry, I'm sorry.
Yeah, first of all, I don't know where I'm at.
But at first he thought I was trying to start shit with him.
Yeah.
You could tell by your accent, first of all, that you're American.
Maybe he was just wanting to do that to somebody then.
What, I mean, one of the odds he gets one cigarette left too.
I mean, come on, really?
A cigarette like that.
Dude, here they fucking pick them up off the ground.
I don't think they really, you know, they don't give a fuck.
Well, then it's not like that, man.
That's just a weird thing.
I mean, I've never heard of the last cigarette being the worst one.
I don't know where I was exactly.
No, not the worst one, but it's an insult to give somebody.
No, it wasn't an insult.
Yeah, he said it was like that.
It's worse than all the rest.
It was like flight words to them.
I'm like, dude, I'm sorry.
That's what I would say.
That's how I would look at it.
Yeah, I've been finger-bending this thing all night.
Yeah, here's the cigarette.
Here, you want a cigarette?
Yeah, right.
There you go, buddy.
But that's what's strange.
What's that?
No, well, it's strange.
Other customs and stuff.
Yeah, customs.
And I just explained to him, dude, I just gave you my last cigarette,
even though I had another 10 packs in my fucking backpack, you know,
we're on tour somewhere.
This one thing you make sure you have is cigarettes and where's my drugs.
Yeah, right.
And that's it.
And rubbers.
Oh.
Yeah, what a rose.
Fuck, Dad, you don't want to bring that EU shit back here.
That's it.
What's that?
You're really dirty.
You're right.
You don't want to bring that EU shit back.
No, I know.
That's why I said it.
Dude, I'll send it like clones to Europe.
And that's how I tell my buddy.
I'm like, man, he's like everybody's doing it out here.
I'm like, man, you guys are going to get lots of fucking diseases out there.
You guys don't have shit right now, but you guys are going to have all these
different cannabis diseases in Europe now that you've never fucking.
Oh, yeah, because you're bringing it.
I mean, that's why when you bring shit over from customs, they don't,
they tell you no food, no, no plants, nothing.
Oh, yeah, all that shit.
Well, like, no.
Well, Dad, so they had all these different fucking diseases out there now
that they didn't know how to fucking cure and they don't have these fucking,
you know, I mean, catching them from the weeds.
Sounds like Bill Gates.
Sounds like Bill Gates shit.
Yeah, well, no, no.
You know what I mean?
I'm sick though.
No, no, no.
The plants have like plant aids.
Yeah, and they don't understand it and the plants are not indigenous.
Yeah, Fasarium, well, Fasarium.
That shit that didn't really, they didn't really, even in like the 90s
growing, you wouldn't get.
But now that everything is so, everybody, everything's spread out so far
and everybody trades with everybody.
And now these plants have, you know, that makes sense, bro.
Got diseases from tomato plant, other different plants.
Yeah, yeah.
Everybody has everything.
It's like we got Asian carp and that ball in the beetle.
Yeah, that's because that's because that's because that's because that Chinese
shipping and all I'm just saying, you know, and bringing.
So bring in their suitcase to bring in line to fucking.
Yolven shit on the plane.
So I checked this out speaking to bringing shit back from Europe.
So, you know, they're like, do you have any food, fruit plants?
No, just me and I'm like drugs and I'm like, no, I don't have anything.
The guy's looking through my suitcase.
Now when we're on the road, the food is usually so shitty that wherever I can,
I'm stealing bananas and oranges.
So now my suitcase has like four oranges in it.
The guy, the guy opens my suitcase, pulls the orange out and looks underneath
and puts it back in.
And he's like, okay.
And I get home and I'm like, hey, dad, do you want an orange from Germany
or something?
And he's like, I'm not supposed to fucking have this.
And I'm like, oh my God, I forgot.
And I'm like, the guy had this in his fucking hand and he put it back in my suitcase.
That's how, you know, casual it was.
He's like, do you have anything?
I'm like, no, because I'm thinking, you know, I don't have any drugs.
I'm clean.
I don't fuck.
Yeah, you're thinking you're not perfect.
But I have oranges and shit.
I don't have anything illegal or anything.
But you know, we ate them right away to save the community.
Yeah.
It's only like two or three oranges.
But I was like, I hope you like the pews too.
I transferred fruit through the garbage.
So that's why we got that shit here.
Well, yeah, because people bring it from Mexico.
When you probably remember this, when you come from South America, they make you walk on some mat
and get the dirt off and get the, uh, walk through the light, the infrared shit or the blue.
No, UV.
UV.
Yeah.
Because they'll kill anything.
But yeah, no, yeah, you got to walk on a sticky mat.
Yeah.
Because if you bring anything, it knows on your feet.
Like were you on a farm or were you walking?
I don't want any of that disease.
Yeah, you can't transfer that shit.
Well, no, I think, you know, we got, when you get off the plane, they literally put shit down and you're walking.
Well, you know, bananas as we know it are about to be extinct.
Really?
Because all the banana plants in the world, they have, I think it actually is Fasarium.
We're at Fasarium Wilt where it's a soil-borne illness disease.
And that's it.
And then it takes over the plant and then whenever you cut that plant, clone it, whatever.
It won't function.
It'll have it.
And it spreads so fast.
And even the soil, it stays in the soil for like 30 years.
Oh, so now what?
Well, well, but if you remember, like when we were like little, little kids, they weren't like the Chiquita bananas we have now.
They were smaller, different types of bananas.
Yeah.
So now they're probably breeding a new type of banana to start that growing.
It's probably garbage.
Doing the whole thing.
No, it's all GMO shit.
It's all this.
It's just modified from a gene that was a banana at one point and they just try to make it resistant to bugs and pesticides.
Mary's uncle or cousin or something worked on one of the very, very first GMO things.
And some, you know, he's some genius and he works at a university and stuff.
And the first thing they did was a tomato.
That's crazy.
That's not good shit right there, Mary.
No.
And he's like, we just invented, he's like, I got a tomato that will not get rotten.
Yeah, well, that's because that's what I want.
There's so much preservatives.
Oh, no, that was just, you know, the first thing that they noticed.
I know.
There's certain things that even like, you know, they, they, they can say is GMO, you know,
there's certain things that there's science that are splitting and doing shit.
That's what I consider GMO.
Like what the Amish do, they pick the best corn and breed with that stuff.
Technically, that's GMO too, they say.
Well, I mean, where they get their seed crops.
But it's not modified in the lab though.
That's the thing.
It's naturally GMO.
Yeah.
They just cross breed the best, best straight.
Yeah, they're probably the most technically they considered a GMO.
I don't know if they put it under that label.
No, the same reasoning.
GMO Amish, that's a good fucking punk band.
No, but seriously, the Amish people are seriously some kick ass people.
I know they're never going to hear me say this because they would never listen to a podcast.
Maybe there's some kids.
No, what's the two?
The Amish, the menonites.
Menonites.
They have electricity, don't they?
Yeah, the menonites do, yeah.
Okay.
All the menonites out there, fuck, let's raise a bar some day together.
They can listen to it on a rom spring.
That's where the young girls take off their hand.
They're going after the Amish for raw milk right now.
That's crazy.
Yeah, Amish people are crazy.
Dude, they have the lowest rates of cancer.
They have the lowest rates of autism.
Autism.
Yeah, like autism.
Autism is the lowest rate of pussies.
None of them are pussies.
They all are tough motherfuckers.
They do have some pitos though.
Yeah, they got a lot.
They got a lot going on.
But yeah, you know like raw milk, if they want to sell it in the store or say anything,
it says it has to be four pets for animal use only.
It's fucking stupid.
Well, that's the same moniker that they gave the ivermectin, you know, that it was for
animals.
Forced juice.
Yeah, that's what they do, but that's how they scare you though.
They're like, oh my god, this is what you're doing, the mainstream media just telling you
bullshit, like you can't believe what's going on.
This drug won a Nobel Prize.
Yeah, but we're going to hide it.
But you're an animal.
Yeah, which is and it's been prescribed for years.
I mean, it's not like the least amount of side effects on any drug.
I think India right now is suing the WHO about that.
I was reading an article the other day that they refused to send them it and they were
holding it back and they were making them.
Well, I'm sure India do they make that shit on their own.
I'll tell you right now.
I sent you that video that dude sleeping in the Ganges in the Capitol.
Like, the guy was on his dead body.
Like he was on that body patrol.
He was floating for like four hours in the camp.
And the guy pulled them out and said, what the fuck buddy, why are you sleeping?
They were taken up.
I mean, imagine, oh, obviously floating face up.
But his whole body, I mean, just as like a dead body, just as fate like mouth was above
water, they got a billion people.
They got a billion people.
Someone always fall on the river.
He was like dead body patrol.
Why did you wake me?
He was going to see if he was dead and push him back out.
You hit him with a stick.
Yeah, that's how I do it.
That's how I'd be doing it.
If I was dead body patrol.
I mean, think about the diseases that they have.
They're pretty crazy.
It's very, very crazy.
What are you doing Larry?
I'm showing our logo.
Thanks Larry.
But yeah, seriously, it's like the amount of disease that they have there.
Like we talk about this, like we watch those street video, the food videos.
And it's like they're just digging their hand in there.
Feet, toes, armpits.
Every dude got sandals on.
People are shitting.
He mixes with the sandals, puts it back on his foot.
Dude, here's how I, you know, India is basically these guys wake up in the water.
One guy's bathing in the river, waving to his neighbor, the other neighbor's waving back,
but he's taking a shit in the same room.
Oh yeah, that's pretty great.
How about the street?
There was like four guys shitting on the street in a row.
They ever tell you about that video, the documentary I watched about the Romeo's?
They were Indian dudes and they would just get a phone book and call numbers to talk to a lady.
This is a good lady.
Click and they would just keep on calling Romeo dialers.
That's what they were called.
It was hilarious.
Dude, that's a good pump name.
Romeo dialers.
It was very funny.
And these guys were off the chain.
They would get so excited.
They're the hornies.
They were the bobs.
You know what's off the chain is, you know, out of the thousand kids or so that would play with a plastic bag.
People get so upset about plastic bags, maybe like only a few dozen would suffocate.
It's not really a big deal.
It's fairly fucking safe.
If you're putting plastic bags in your kids crib because that's what they say on the bag.
I saw a plastic bag the other day.
It said instead of warning, it said welcome to ensure fun.
Give this bag to babies and children.
Is that your joke that you wrote today?
Use this bag in cribs, beds, carriages and plane pens.
This bag is a toy.
I couldn't fucking believe it.
I saw a new keyboard and it was in a bag and it said that on the bag.
Please put overhead now.
Are they crazy?
And then I thought about it. It's really not a big deal.
It is a big deal because you know somebody who used a bag.
I think he was murdered with a bag.
Yeah, but I don't think it's a big deal if a kid plays with a plastic bag.
If a kid puts it over his head and suffocates himself, he wasn't meant to be.
I believe in Darwinism.
It's like the warning signs on things.
You're more likely to get shot.
Sometimes they should be removed.
I think it was an 80s TV show with Sergeant Stadanko from the Cheech and Chong movies.
He was the father.
He was a known pato too.
Cheech and Chong?
Stadanko.
I forget his name.
He did a TV show with an 80s comedian that liked hot rods.
He was a titus.
He was the father.
There was one episode where he was the father drinking a beer in the chair.
And the son had a key and he was about to put it in the outlet.
Oh yeah.
And the mother is like, don't do this.
Let's see what happens.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're going to do that again, dumbass.
All the lights come off.
You won't do that again now, will you, dumbass?
You got to learn by, you know what I mean?
Like kids stick to the hand over the flame.
We ain't going to do it again.
There was another episode too.
They were sitting on the pier.
His little kid, he pushes them into the water.
He said something like, I want to learn to swim.
He's like, oh yeah?
He just pushed them into the water.
And they're like, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
He's like, it'll be fine.
They go, oh shit.
He grabs it.
They do that show with babies.
They throw them into the water.
They launch them in the water.
They do it with me?
They make videos though now.
They naturally, they just throw a baby in the water.
And they charge about $1,500 to do it too.
Wait, what do you mean?
You go to like, swim sites?
Oh, swimming lessons for babies?
That's a new, that's a killer racket to get in.
Dude, learn.
This is what we should be doing in the back.
Yeah, okay.
I mean, this guy can't do by his school.
I don't want to be teaching lessons.
Dude, you don't have to teach lessons.
Wait, we get young moms over here.
Okay.
We'll throw their baby in the pool.
Oh, that's all you gotta do?
Yeah, and babies take care of the rest.
And then they drown in the pool.
You're gonna be in the pool.
Yeah.
Why do I get that job?
I do not agree with that.
How come I'm the assulter?
And then baby drowns, who threw him in?
You guys all point at me.
Yeah, exactly.
You got a lifeguard.
We have a mom to do it.
We're in the pool just in case.
As long as she's hot.
And they all have to wear bikinis.
And they're single.
And no C-section scars.
Single mom, single hot mom.
Baby swimming teaching.
And she has to leave her bathing suit after the long time.
Jesus.
We do laundry on site.
Yeah.
You can't go in the water though.
Don't worry, we got see through ropes for you to wear while we...
Now that's just wrong Larry.
Yeah, I know.
You've all stepped over the line.
Yeah. I'm not that disgusting.
Okay.
He's not over yet.
I don't know if that's how you want to portray yourself.
You guys know what a traybouche is?
A traybouche?
Yeah, it's like a catapult.
It swings, you know catapult.
So Israel is launching
a traybouche
on the border
to cut down
all the foliage
so they can attack these people.
Oh jeez.
The IDF in Israel
is launching, and they're launching
boulders that are on fire.
Oh, to burn down?
Yeah, to burn everything down.
Rather than just send in
all of our funding, you know,
all of these things that we've funded,
they're going back to archaic ways.
Well, they're not going back to archaic ways.
They're always having
archaic weapons.
Yeah, archaic ways.
Boulders on fire? Exactly.
Yeah, I mean, shit. Imagine getting smashed by a flaming boulder.
I hope they're videotaping that shit.
Yeah, I got it. I'll show you guys how to do it.
Oh yeah. Really? Yeah, that's why I was talking about it.
Which I think is funny because we just
signed up to give them more money.
Which, you know what? Of course we did.
I mean, how much more money
do we need to give people?
I think we should stop giving everybody money.
That's just what I say.
Well, I mean, I think
the two people sitting next to you on the panel
and your constituents agree with that statement, right?
Yeah. Okay, so.
We can't agree with that. We're talking to everybody.
But at the same time, listen.
Including these kids that are getting their fucking tuition
and all these handouts
to all these fucking freeloaders, man.
I was reading an article that they spent
$250 million
on sex
changes for illegal aliens.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
What?
$250 million. And they have their video too.
I can't remember who the guy was.
He was like. Next?
It was at the Gay Pride Parade and this guy was interviewing them
and they had an interpreter
to tell the guy, you know, and the dudes
like, I come over here, they do all the plastic surgery,
they give me my meds,
he's like, they give me a place to stay
all because you're a fucking funook.
Isn't that crazy? It's unbelievable.
Man, it's a lot of funooks coming across the building.
Oh, $250 million.
And I'm sure it's higher than that.
Well, they're probably charging.
They're probably charging a million dollars
to pop to these doctors.
Oh, I thought it was about to flash the camera.
No, I wanted to show the shirt
that Jay designed and told us to.
No, Jay didn't design that.
Ha ha ha ha.
Come on. Be nice.
Oh, don't choose that.
What do you call it? She's gonna get you.
We can't even take care of anybody here.
But here you go. You want to turn into a sex offender.
That's usually what these people are.
Let's get down to brass packs, you know?
I mean, the amount of...
We talked about this, about how
with gay people getting, adopting kids.
Yeah.
And, dude, I was reading the craziest thing
about, you know, Paul the Paul Walker crash.
Oh, yeah. What's that?
That he was murdered. Who's Paul Walker?
Was he gonna make a special...
The most cast and furious movies?
I've never seen him.
Yeah, I remember when that guy crashed.
Yeah, he did like this humanitarian aid
and found like all this stuff
and was gonna start talking about it.
That's what they say.
Honestly, they say it about it.
I wouldn't fucking doubt it.
But he said the same thing about Anthony Bourdain.
Chris Cornell.
The dude from Chester Bedington.
Anthony Bourdain supposedly
now allegedly fucking
allegedly supposedly saw
I think was it Adam Schiff
or was it
who's the other
Finook that's in Congress.
One of those top dogs.
One of those top dogs
and he ODs some boy
and
Bourdain happened to be
staying at a hotel.
Okay, this is all allegedly being.
And he looks in and sees the OD
dead kid and they know that
he knew and they fucking off them.
Yeah, I believe it.
Well, you know Bourdain's wife
got in trouble for
like being with a young boy.
Like a 17 year old boy.
No, I don't think it was his wife.
I think it was the girl he was dating
that started the meat or was a hand
in the Me Too movement.
So this is what, okay, so here, this is what I know about this.
So he started dating this chick.
She's pretty hot chick too.
Yeah, but listen man, the pussies
were worse.
Yeah, it doesn't matter how hot she was.
Bourdain was dating the hot chick.
Yes, and
she was like some Italian chick
and she was in the Me Too movement
and it came
fruition, that or not even fruition.
It was actually true that
she had sexual relations
with the kid that she was grooming, a boy
that was younger than her and she
paid out and he
found out about it and people were saying
that he helped.
Bourdain found out that his wife was dating the young guy.
It was huge news, like the kid
was huge.
I'm sure he didn't mind though, the kid didn't mind.
Well, I got fucking...
First of all, you never know what's going on.
You never know what these sickos want to do to children.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.
But if he was just getting the fucking
banging older chick, hey man.
But the thing is, is that people are like
oh, that kid banged that teacher
and it's like, yeah man, but no.
He's addicted to pussy.
No, now that it's on you, you know what I mean?
Like it's kind of like on you.
I went over from school every day helping my teacher
would be like, coming over. Exactly.
Yeah, but things were different back then.
Now, got social media. Yeah, they didn't fuck you.
That's the only difference.
You don't know that.
I'm sure it was happening.
Come on, I'm sure. Animal House is based on
a fucking teacher having sex with this kid.
Animal House was college, these teachers.
I know what I'm just saying, so if it's on
you would hear a lot maybe about a guy
teacher being a perv, a fruit cake,
or wanting to fuck the girls.
But now you're hearing that
boys are getting fucked by
their girl teachers. All the Psyop.
All the Psyop. And everybody has phones.
So they could show text messages.
Dude, I'm going back to grade school.
Me too. Oh, Jesus. I need two
pedos man. Calm.
I want a teacher. I'm going for the teacher.
Yeah, okay. That's why you're going to grade school.
Why not go to eighth grade?
That's grade school.
No, grade school. Yeah.
What through eighth? Okay.
K through eighth. K through 10.
I want the young teachers. I don't know what the old one is.
K through 12. Wait, K through 12.
Yeah, yeah. Jesus.
You guys would.
Oh my God.
Dude, I had a couple of teachers.
My math teacher, you know, I was like a freshman
or sophomore in high school.
I was fucking hot. And she was probably only like
21. Yeah, 21, 22
years old.
Yeah, I would be probably 22. I'd be like, oh my God,
I couldn't concentrate for fucking
shit.
Yeah, some of those teachers. Dude, I remember
all. And even in eighth grade
dude, our teacher, you know, she'd
wear tight skirts. You know, right
above the knee was Catholic school.
But your cans were massive.
She couldn't button her shirt up all the way.
Well, I, you could buy bigger
shirts. Well, I mean, come on.
Not the one she, not the one she, she could button
her shirt up. She could button her shirt up.
But all of a sudden, you know, the bell would ring.
Like me and my buddies, we look at each other.
We'd have to cover our heart on some books
as we walk out.
Because especially like wearing slacks in
like Catholic school, they're all fucking
stiff and everything. It's like, oh man.
People forget women.
One time, hey listen,
in like seventh grade or something, we had
this teacher with fucking huge rack
and we found out her home phone number.
So we called
Jesus.
And an answer machine goes up.
So we start saying shit on the answer
machine. Ah, smart.
You know, sexual shit.
This is Larry from
Seventh
Grade.
So the next day, I want to kiss
your arm, you know, because he doesn't know
what's going on. Yeah, okay.
That's what I said. And until
the next day, I got called.
Can I see you at the class
Larry? I'm like, oh, why?
I want to
play since you forgot about what he did the day
before like usual. And the teacher's
like, I know that was you that called my name.
Yeah, because you said your name. No, I don't know what you're talking about.
No, I didn't. That was a weird
perverted shit and it hung up.
With your weird raspy voice that you had.
Breathe in heavy and shit.
With another kid. She's like, I know
that was you and so and so. I'm not
going to say their name because they were a guest on
this show previously and I don't want
to. They have a regular life now
and I don't want to ruin their life but
so.
We did get busted.
We got in trouble but we didn't get in trouble.
She just fucking kind of took it. You were always a creep.
Well, she didn't tell the principal.
No, but she kind of
she knew it was me and she kind of was
flattered by it. It was me doing the
she grabs your children talking
dirty into an answer.
I mean, come on.
Are you hot for taking? How do you know she was flattered?
We didn't get in trouble.
Yeah, okay.
But that's the thing. It was a different time back then.
That's where they just chalk it up to kids being
dumb kids.
I mean, it's a bit of a call from a land.
Now, today, yeah, today you would get
put into a psych ward and
Oh man. Actually, no, they just free you in an hour.
Well, yeah.
They don't even hold you anymore.
Ten years ago. Ten years ago, they put you in a psych ward.
And now they just be like, okay,
dude, that's like that south part of the
We made this we made this book.
We were supposed to make these fucking magazines.
We're in I think I was in fifth
or fourth grade.
And I made me and this kid Frankie
Frankie Vogolino and the Southern
Kevin. See what I mean?
Fucking dumbass.
And maybe it maybe
Jeff was there and fucking
we made the team. We made the magazine.
We're supposed to make a couple of ads
a couple of articles, a couple of different things.
And the cover we call it
hang time and show the teacher hanging
from her back.
She's controlling
fucking inside.
We had
so funny.
For prostitution.
How we were in like
fourth or fifth grade.
And we fucking had actual
actual phone numbers
written down. Call up, you know,
Susie Johnson.
We made a fake name
up finally.
For that part.
It was a fucking deviation from the norm.
It was called hang time.
There was all these sick articles.
One of our articles was about the fucking
this
it was like when John Wayne Gasey
shit was going on. So we had this guy that was
a killer and he was called Lester
Percy and fucking
and all this shit and fucking
so we hand this
thing in and it was very good
and very, very funny.
Very violent and very
sexually.
It wasn't that good. Yeah.
I'm surprised they didn't know about this.
Well, my parents got called to school
and so did every other kid in
Bowles. How do you know
about? I mean, what were you doing in fourth
grade? How do you know what a prostitute
is? Yeah. Well, come on.
You didn't know what a prostitute is.
You did. You guys knew.
I mean, I can't remember that far
back. I mean, my kid asked me what one
was.
What grade is he in?
He's gonna be a fifth. Well, there you go.
But the internet.
You heard somebody say it.
We also heard somebody say it.
Yeah. I mean, maybe it was like
maybe it was a prostitute.
It might have been a warhouse.
Warhouse even better.
Yeah.
Because you know where they sell the pussy.
Not just one.
I mean, yeah, we were looking at nudie mags
back in the day. Well, yeah, you do know what.
It's so fun. We find them in the forest.
Seriously.
I am not fucking like. Some other little kid
was bringing it back. We used to go riding by the pits
and there would just be porno mags there.
Yeah. Well, we would
find them. Or we go to Zebulon and
dig in the dumpster.
Which is
a local
yank and wank.
Which is
it's still making good business.
It's like over 40 years old.
It's always hard.
It's always hard
warming to drive by on Christmas
morning and see the parking
laugh full.
Yeah, right?
It's for nook months during Father's Day
day. Father should get a whole month.
Shouldn't they?
Why they got Juneteenth
on Father's Day?
You know why that is though, right?
Well, so they got something to celebrate.
Yeah. Who?
Black kids. Well, it's funny that
it's Father's Day in Juneteenth.
That's what I'm saying. The absence of, shall we say.
Yeah.
The most confusing day.
The absence of color. The most confusing
day on the west side.
I don't know about that. It's not very confusing.
They ain't here.
How confusing is that?
Confusing is
trying to open, do a Rubik's Cube.
It's kind of confusing.
They definitely know.
Oh, speaking about that good. That's a good segue
into our segment that I did.
So I want to do this because
this is near and dear to our hearts and close to where
we live. So I want to do,
we're going to do a crime stat thing in Chicago,
which is getting away.
Sorry. Which is getting out of hand.
No, no. Well, so what I want to do is
I'm going to read to you.
Okay. 2023
total crime stats in Illinois.
Okay. So
Illinois or Chicago?
Well, yes, Chicago I mean. Sorry.
You're right. Okay. I apologize.
Even if they concluded Illinois, there's probably like
two murders outside of Chicago in the whole
state. You couldn't swing a dead cat without
fucking hitting a dead body in Chicago.
Yeah, exactly.
So in 2023
there were 617 homicides.
Okay. So that equates to
1.7 a day.
Those are some illegals because you know those are short.
Yeah.
Half a person.
We got a tall Vennan's Wayland.
He's 0.7.
Lots of them.
There were 2,450
shooting in Chicago in one year.
That's it?
6.7 a day.
Okay. Every day.
6.7 a day. Yeah, that's every day Larry.
That's usually what that means.
I'm just reiterating mother fuckers.
He's like every day.
Okay.
So they confiscated
12,452 guns.
So
now in comparison
in 2022 there were 709 homicides.
So
and that wasn't even the peak because in
2021 there was 804.
Yeah.
I mean that is crazy. I didn't do the math on that.
They're trying to a few years back.
There was a couple of years before we had
12,000.
We had a few years with 1200.
I don't know because I looked at all the numbers.
How far back did you go?
15 years.
We got close.
But I guarantee like
they're talking about all the FBI's own crimes.
How about this though?
The FBI gets, their crime
stats are 44%
lower
than what the actual stats are.
Democratic states don't report them anymore.
They're going to reach Chicago.
Chicago, LA,
Baltimore,
Detroit,
you name it. They don't report it.
The murders they kind of have to.
The other crimes they're not.
So that's so 800 murders.
So 804 murders is 2.2 a day.
So
there were 1,308
carjackings.
2,000 carjackings
is through the fucking sky.
Well, yeah, so.
It's through the roof.
It's really amazing.
Even my fucking beater ass hoop
do you fucking ride?
Well, they want that.
That's what they want because they can crash it.
They can crash any nice car.
They just fucking
so there were 2 cops murdered.
Don't say that dude. I fucking have this beater.
So I blend in and don't get carjacked.
You don't go to the city.
So there were 2 cops murdered also in
2023, which is pretty sad.
Wait, 2 cops? Yeah, 2 cops were murdered.
So there were
2,888
sexual assaults, criminally sexual assaults.
11...
Not counting the ones you did.
I beg the differ.
11,051
robberies.
6,221 battery
charges. 7,472
burglaries.
787 thefts.
Okay.
Motor vehicle theft. Here you go.
29,287
That's fucking
as big as a city.
That's fucking crazy.
29,000
How is it?
Wait, wasn't it our mayor that wanted to
like sue Hyundai
for uh... The Kia Boy.
Too easy to steal.
Yeah, it's like are you kidding me?
How about you do some police work?
How much harder is that?
You got the...
You got a Kia.
Oh yeah, yeah.
But it's not the model that you can do.
But mine is.
My fucking 2,000 and
fucking 9,000 is going to be jacked.
I could punch the column of your car in 5 seconds
and hot wire it and get it out of here.
It'd be so easy. You got the old school admission lot.
Well that's not how they steal them.
They come up with a gun and say give me your fucking car.
Well that's car jacking, but this is car theft.
Oh.
Jesus man.
I'll tell you what. I had to learn.
Motor vehicle theft.
I had my BMW
the cylinder.
Yeah, the cylinder goes bad.
All of a sudden it wouldn't turn off, turn on.
You know, I turned the key and then I went to YouTube.
How to hot wire my BMW.
Dude, right by your side.
Oh, seriously, 2 seconds.
The leads are right there.
I didn't even know it was a minute, but what didn't even
have to do with the leads.
Right behind the cylinder, there was a little orange thing
with two leads on it, but there's two screws
and orange things.
I wasn't going to strip my own car.
But I just took the two screws out
and then there's a little notch.
You just put a screwdriver and turn it.
And it turns, starts your car.
Two screws. All you do is you take the
take the plastic shield off.
Two screws.
You drive a ghetto though.
You know, but you can put it right back in the car.
Put the car right back in.
Put the car, but put the car in place.
I would never do that.
If you have to.
I was able to reset my cylinder.
So there were 77,000.
I wouldn't have a screwdriver for life.
77,223 crimes committed.
And I think in 2023,
I think those numbers are way,
I think they're double.
I think they're double at least.
I would say.
So up to June.
So 60,000 probably fucking car thefts.
Oh yeah.
Think about stuff that goes on reporting.
You don't even mean people that refuse treatment.
Right.
Think about that. How many crimes?
60,000?
77,523.
So how many is that a day?
Okay.
That's a good question.
We need a Stephen Hawking type.
I got to calculate.
That's a 2,000 crimes a day.
That's like 2,000 crimes a day.
What do you call it?
But at the same time.
Oh shit man, that's crazy.
The numbers are going up already.
212 a day.
I was off by zero.
But that's still crazy.
212 a day.
But that seems low almost.
That's just Chicago.
But now here I want to read you a grade.
So that's how you know that the numbers are higher.
Oh yeah.
Talking about kids getting their bikes stolen.
And people getting the shit kicked out.
It's also suppressed.
It's fucking all the shoplifting going on.
Man, there's millions of crimes.
Alright, so listen to this though.
This summarizes
what I was, this is how I wanted to get back
to what I was reading.
Alright professor.
Alright.
Don't see you doing any work over there.
I'm not.
I am the professor.
That's it mother fucker.
So America is still very much a
tale of two or more cities.
For example, 2020 to be the homicide rate in Chicago.
One of the most segregated cities
in the country.
In parentheses.
This is the national crime lab
Chicago from the University of Chicago.
They put the numbers out.
So they're already saying race.
They've already interjected race into this.
With no one asking.
No one told you to put that in there.
Why did you put that?
You could have skipped that whole part.
One of the most segregated cities in the country
was 20 times higher
for black residents than it was
for white residents.
Gee, I was under wall.
And this is but at the same time
if you just read that to a normal person
that you knew from California, they're like, oh Chicago's bad.
But if I took out that racist part
they would be like, oh well we know what's,
you know what I mean, we can tell where the crime rate is.
We've got that much white on white crime going on.
So basically
I'm gonna
I'm gonna hear, go ahead.
It goes in and says there's still
still much work to do.
Chicago is very racially segregated
and the safety gap between
Chicago's black and white residents persist.
Okay.
And then it goes on to give these numbers.
The safety gap is shrinking from its high water
mark in 2021 where the homicide
rate for black residents was 40
times that for white residents.
But it was a problem.
So where do you think, okay, so I have a map
of where all these shootings are at.
I'm being serious.
You can go west side, south side.
You can literally see it start
at First Avenue
and go down to Central.
You know what I mean, and go
off the highway a little bit and then go
down to the south side.
When I was a kid driving to Kameski,
like, I didn't know where we were
but all of a sudden, I'm like, all right,
starting to smell like piss out.
I know we're getting the shitty air.
Once you get to 294 over there and start transitioning.
So that's hot and heal.
I remember I was like pissed.
So then I could hear the buckets being played.
Yeah, we went down to Kameski once
and I was a little kid
and I'll never forget that they had
first time I seen bulletproof glass
in a restaurant.
And they had a bulletproof glass lazy
Susan.
And it was a Harold's Chicken.
It was right across the street from Kameski.
Yeah, yeah.
Horses walking around.
It was the craziest day I've ever seen.
Was it daytime or nighttime?
It was during the day.
And we wouldn't go there at night.
We played a show across from Kameski.
You played a show. I was like nine.
But I said a bad thing about the socks
and they almost dragged me outside
and beat the fuck out of me.
I'm like, I'm only kidding. I'm only kidding.
I'm only nine.
No, I was in the band and they were going to kill me.
No, I was nine.
Yeah, he was nine.
So you realized that it wasn't as nice
as where you lived.
Well, yeah, the city.
You lived in the city. You were from the city.
What you knew about the city.
But it didn't smell like piss where I lived.
Even though I did live on the west side.
But see, I was a long time ago.
I remember going to Blackhawk.
Like my dad taking us to Blackhawk.
Yeah, we go to the barn all the time.
United Center wasn't called United Center back then.
But there'd always be a black guy when you're parking.
United Center, wait.
Oh, the stadium?
Yeah. The Chicago stadium.
Yeah, Chicago stadium.
I remember there'd always be a black guy
and my dad would be like, I'm Madison.
I'll give you five bucks if you watch my
comments. Oh, yeah.
Because if you don't give him five bucks,
he's going to break into your car.
So you pay him.
I remember my dad doing that too as a kid.
I'm like, why the fuck did you give that kid money?
He's like, because I don't want my windows broken.
I was like, oh, I get it.
But sometimes you don't get lucky though.
Take the five bucks and go buy a vial.
No, you know, back in the day,
it would be some little fucking kid.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
It was pre fucking everybody
walking around with guns.
Even though they're nine years old.
But they already know the routine.
It was a rough area right there at that point.
They cleaned it up right now.
They cleaned it up.
They did. Mario lived right there.
Were you there for vinegar puss?
I was just laughing.
I was about to bring it out.
You talked about vinegar puss.
It's always a good story.
RIP Buttersticks Bob.
Man, he lived at the armpit of Maple Street.
He lived an armpit of a life.
Right down from Pirate Cove.
That's just such a great story.
What the hell, man?
Who's truck were we in?
Was it Ron?
Okay, you guys remember when I said
and then my friend called me
with his number and it was someone different
and all that.
That's how many times you've told the story.
So let's not go there again.
What are you talking about?
On the pod? He doesn't remember.
You told vinegar puss on the pod?
I think we did. No, we haven't.
Okay, what's the story then?
My story after you tell this story
is, hey, one time
Lehman was fucking calling me
and I thought...
But I always tell it right after you tell this story.
I don't know if we told it.
We may have told it.
I mean, you're really arguing with us about telling the story.
No, I'm just saying.
We've never told the story
because Kiki and I just remember it.
Well, it's even already said.
So we went downtown.
We went downtown.
We told the story.
They go downtown and some...
Okay, it's you, Kiki,
Lehman, and Fux.
Was John there? No.
Okay, so they pick up some whore.
Okay, then we did tell the story.
I don't think we told it on the podcast.
So pussy fucking smelt so bad.
Yeah, I don't think this guy doesn't do it.
Everybody fucked that up.
Okay, so he's gonna keep on doing it.
All right, well, now we're done.
So the story's over. Thanks, Larry.
You got your moment, Larry.
I'm Larry.
Watch the piggy eat.
The fuck we had to do.
I love it.
I don't know if he's any...
Because he's a glutton. He just wants to take it all.
No, I'm just saying...
We did say it on the podcast.
Hey, no stomping. I can hear it to the mic.
I'm sorry.
Whatever.
You fucking shamass.
I'm done with the story.
A Lehman 8 or 2, and it smelled like fucking garbage truck.
It wasn't even... It was worse than the fish fry, bitch.
It definitely was.
Yeah, Lehman was the only one...
The one that kept turning her seat on in the fucking car.
Oh, yeah.
He kept turning it off, and she's like, oh.
That's a different story.
Well, no, yeah, Lehman...
Well, Lehman was knee-deep in that stuff.
And she's like, well, that's temp.
First of all, he wasn't even...
She pulled her pants down, and it cleared out.
I mean...
I think we all ran out.
Like a clan meeting at a Juneteenth festival.
Everybody just poured out.
Scattered. Oh, man.
It wasn't good.
And yeah, one person was pissed about his car.
Because it stung.
That fucking stench probably took a long time to get out of there.
I don't know. I don't think she sat on the seat.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but still...
It could just permeate the fucking roof even.
No, it was not like she was stewing in there all day.
Shit, man, you never know.
I do know. She was in there for like 30 minutes.
That shit could fucking...
We drove home with the windows down.
Yeah, her juice has got in there.
Yeah, Lehman was happy.
He was a happy camper.
He's like, I don't know what you guys were fussing about.
And then he dynamades.
Yeah, he's like, I don't know what you guys were fussing about.
I don't know what you guys were fussing about.
Fussing?
Fussing about the part where I couldn't breathe.
I like how she was just all cold.
Street walker too.
So next time I'll be a little more fresh for you boys.
Yeah, like we're coming back.
What's your numbers, ladies?
Yeah, let me tell you. We do not get punch cards for that thing.
Yeah, I was so bad.
Five, six, and then the next one's free.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
That is horrible.
It definitely is.
You know what? Yeah, she needs a visit to Tom's free clinic.
Well, Tom's could take care of her fucking really, really...
No, he couldn't.
No. I think this would be one Tom puts down.
You gotta be...
I mean, you gotta dip her toes first.
Tom's in the neighborhood where probably that girl wouldn't want to...
She doesn't... She can't walk there.
It's too far.
Oh, that's the problem. She was walking. That's why.
She had those walking blues.
You know what I mean?
She had the bunions going.
He doesn't have like a food truck or like a mobile.
That would be a good idea, you know?
Yeah.
I think Tom has a DUI though.
He could fix cars but he can't drive on them.
Damn.
No, but obviously Tom himself wouldn't be driving the car.
He'd have to drive.
Somebody else, yeah. He'd be working on the back.
Yeah.
They'd have to have vinegar pesto.
They'd have to have one of those exhaust attachments.
Put it in her puss.
So the stench goes right off the back of the van.
Van and shit.
We're exhausted this shit out of here.
Man, I'll never forget that.
That's horrible. I really don't.
I could almost taste it.
No.
It was bad.
What the fuck?
No, I was more worried for butter sticks.
I was like, dude, what are you doing, man?
Don't even touch me.
Everybody pleaded with me.
How much was it? Like a dollar?
I don't remember the exchange rate.
She may have paid him.
I do not remember if any money was...
Yeah, he may have traded a sandwich or something.
That's a...
Sounds like she was hiding a hoagie or a smell bite.
Oh, man.
Yeah, she had a filet of fish in there.
No, dude, that was...
What time is it?
It's time to say...
I want to say thank you for everyone tuning in.
What's the time, though? I want to know.
Motherfucker, it's an hour and two minutes and 48 seconds.
Nice.
And I want to thank Tom Sree Clinic,
Automotive and Veterinarian Services
for supplying our studio time
and taking care of that thing I had going on.
Oh, t-shirts, too.
And I got my...
I got my...
We got our t-shirts.
This is the
mascot t-shirt.
We'll call it for now.
If you order it, you'll get a different one.
We'll make sure of it.
And we got to fuck around
and find out t-shirt.
With our boys' dad on it, hunting rabbits
and squirrels and his daughters backyard,
keeping them out of the garden.
Not to mention that we also got Larry and Needle's
logo t-shirts. Casey Anthony.
Casey Anthony t-shirts.
And all this shit is free.
I don't know about free.
It's so easy when he says free when I'm paying for it.
They're all free.
Don't worry about it.
Just send me your address.
We're not trying to sell shit on YouTube.
We're not trying to sell shit on the internet.
You go to our Twitter page.
Yeah, just email us.
You don't have to go to YouTube, bro.
No, I'm just saying, though.
It's like a fucking...
Man, you're in those feet, man.
And he's harping a wolf hoof.
You know what?
Those things are disgusting, please.
Dude, my feet are all right.
My nails are a little fucked up.
I stubbed my toe and my nail off.
Disgusting, whatever.
All right, it's disgusting.
You need to go to times.
If your friend gets a hoe,
and it smells like a rinked toe,
and we're all in times where he's clean.
There we go.
All right, that's it.
If you enjoyed this video,
like, follow, subscribe.
Larry's gonna take us out.
Don't yell at YouTube.
Yeah, leave some bad comments.
Yeah, those are the kind we get.
Please don't be nice.
Yeah, we'll know some of them.
What the fuck are my headphones?
All right.
Here we go.
Now here's the outro music people.
I hope you have a wonderful evening.
We really do appreciate you.
Happy Father's Day.
Unless you're gay.
If you're a fanok, fuck off.
Also, well, they still have fathers.
No, but they're not gonna have fathers.
They're not gonna be a father.
Also, happy Father's Day to Trump,
and Trump's kids, Don Jr. and Eric.
All right, let's go.
Hey, now, seriously,
because you're fucking...
It's birthday today.
Oh, motherfucker.
All right, here's our music.
Have a great night, everybody. Peace.
Peace.