It's the thrill of the game.
Yeah.
Time to get ready for Larry and Needle's show.
Larry and Needles.
We got Kiki and Bobby today.
Larry and Needles show.
All right.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to Larry and Needles show.
I'm Larry.
I am Needles.
And today we have two special guests.
As usual, I'm Kiki, the Kalachiki Queen.
Okay.
Bobby Bronco.
Let me just say I fucking...
Steamboat.
Thanks for breaking my couch.
Yeah.
First of all, I want to say something.
Joe Biden hates white people.
Okay, boys.
Okay, we got to talk one at a time now.
Joe Biden hates white people.
Yes.
There we go.
I'm going to take a page from Kanye.
Okay, this is a very special episode, people.
This is fucking number 100.
Yeah.
You ever see that video of when he's standing on stage with Mike Myers, Kanye, and he says...
Oh, no.
George Bush hates white people.
Mike Myers just...
Mike Myers is like, I'm from Canada, bro.
I don't want to get involved in this shit.
Yeah, you know what was going on.
Which is hilarious.
He's just looking at his face.
What is the best way to attack a president so you don't like black people?
Which, I mean, it's kind of the...
I mean, Bush wasn't exactly sympathetic towards...
Which Bush?
He wasn't exactly a negro, frail.
Man.
I mean, do you really want to start it now?
No, you heard it.
I mean, the Hillary's going to die on 100.
100 arrows.
But that's all right.
The government is taking away our First Amendment rights as we speak right now, even though
we're talking on this platform.
Did you hear about this thing about these kids that had a thing going on Snapchat?
And they were doing like a fake...
They talk about a slave auction.
Yeah, don't write that thing.
Another thing charged.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What?
Say that again.
So there were these kids that are involved in a Snapchat group.
In America.
Yes, in America.
Snapchat just disappears though.
It doesn't hang around forever.
They look at it and it's gone.
Well, I think nobody was involved.
You can find it, I'm sure.
Here we go.
You've got to go somewhere.
I'll read the article because this is very important for anybody who listens because they're taking
away our rights as we speak.
They're integrating the police and the National Guard into our systems and getting us used
to it to get to a police state that we do not deserve.
We have freedoms.
We are Americans, man.
We have a constitution.
It is crazy.
It will tell us in the Constitution we have the right to bear arms and free speech.
I mean, come on.
So it's greater...
And the Constitution's legal.
Here we go.
You had to throw that one.
Your world.
Your just...
Constitution I had.
Yeah.
I got back from Vegas early and I ran out of money.
So eighth graders criminally charged for alleged hateful and racist comments.
Six eighth graders Thursday were charged allegedly for...
They were charged for allegedly making hateful and racist comments in a group chat that included
threats and a mock slave auction.
Damn, they're going to be coming after...
They're going to be coming after my ass soon.
All of our texts are about...
What is he saying?
Holy shit.
I don't know who you are.
I've seen this guy before.
I just picked him up down the street.
Yeah.
Wait a second.
They got charged?
Yeah.
Because somebody reported them with these DEI initiatives that all of a sudden you can't
even make a joke anymore.
And you're just a civilian.
That's fucked.
Yeah.
I want to say...
Well, all right.
So this is definitely a blue state.
Totally.
I have to look that up.
It's been so long time.
Yeah.
Well, no, this has got to be going wherever it is charged.
It doesn't matter if it's a blue state or not.
Well, I know, but...
It's still getting arrested.
That's where it's happening, though.
Having a good time.
I'm going to tell you right now.
You don't think African Americans are saying bad stuff about white people?
Oh, yeah.
It's okay, though.
But all of a sudden that this is...
It's like a paradox all of a sudden.
It's like, well, we're going to make these kids pariahs.
We're going to put them up on this cross and they have to bear the weight of everyone.
Wait.
And they're only eighth graders?
Yeah.
Like, cut them some slack.
Geez.
Yeah.
We said some terrible shit in eighth grade.
Those are the marks that nark them out.
That's the problem.
All right.
I mean, this is not America anymore.
That's the thing.
Someone had to have nark them out because Snapchat, really, it goes to the friends and then it
goes away very quickly.
It's not like Facebook where it's there indefinitely.
I don't know how that works.
It evaporates because I know my nieces and nephews are.
We're all on that shit a couple, you know, of 10 years ago or whatever.
Well, it showed the Snapchat logo, so I'm assuming that that's what it was.
So someone took a screenshot on that.
So Massachusetts.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
Mass is messed up.
Which is not even.
That's the liberal.
Isn't that Snapchat where they do all those filters in their face?
I don't know.
I think every time.
They do that on everything.
I'm completely like, oh.
Bitches make themselves look young.
Did you see the funny thing that they wanted to do?
They voted 50 to 0 to ban TikTok?
Yeah.
Who steps up to buy it?
The guy that ran the treasury for the United States.
Yeah, really?
Like, how much money do you have, bro, to buy it?
To even be like, I'm going to throw my hat in this ring.
Was it a munchin or whatever his name is?
Manoochin.
Yeah.
Yeah, right?
So how are you?
So how are your politicians down, mother fucker?
And here's the problem.
It's like, yeah, they're supposed to because it's Chinese owned.
They got to sell it to an American.
Yeah.
Well, the funny thing is people are like, oh my God, 500,000 people are going to lose
jobs.
Like, good.
Maybe they have to find better jobs to help America.
Did you see?
They closed down.
Kids were writing the president letters saying they're going to commit suicide if they get
rid of TikTok.
Well, I mean, you might as well write in crayon.
That's the only way he's going to be able to meet.
So they closed down some fucking Ford plant somewhere or another.
Or maybe I'm mixing up what plant it was.
But check it out.
They fired all these American people.
They moved the plant to another city.
They moved it from somewhere in Michigan to New York.
And now they're going to just hire 180,000 migrants.
It really smells like an Indian valley in here, Larry.
I don't like it at all, man.
Get out of my store.
Come again.
It's a sock and whitey tighties behind the counter.
That's what it smells like in here.
Stir it up.
Dirty socks.
Make it shurry.
But don't be sniffing the whitey tighties.
Big dogs got to eat.
That's right.
So then you know we'll go to...
That's what's...
There was a statistic too.
I think even Putin called it out saying, you know how many people were arrested?
Shout out to Vladimir Putin for keeping it real.
He said there was this many people arrested for some kind of hate speech or talk.
In the States?
No.
He said this is how many people were arrested.
He said guess what country it was.
And right away they're like, oh, Russia.
Yeah, no.
And he said, no.
He's like, that was England.
Yeah, okay.
And he's like, you know how many people were arrested in Russia for that?
Zero.
No, it was like...
A hundred.
It was like a tenth of the amount that was arrested in England.
We were just going to keep gussing there.
No, I just want to guess.
You're right.
Let go, mom.
I'm not sure.
But yeah, it's turning...
Like even Canada, you can't even talk...
Wait, no.
Is it France?
This is awesome.
You can't talk bad about Pfizer now?
Well...
It's like it's happening all over the place.
I'm happy you talked about Canada.
Did you guys read the story what the sheriff said?
You know what a key fob is, right?
Yeah.
They want you to leave it outside your door.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So people don't break into your house and steal your car.
Hey, listen.
Do the thieves a solid...
Here we go.
Because it's just going to save time.
You give them your key fob because they're just breaking in to get your car keys and shit.
Here we go.
Toronto Police Department told car owners to leave the fobs near front door so they're
easier to steal.
So they don't have to break into your house.
That makes sense.
Okay, so Canada...
Possibly cause a murder.
What is our cowboy hat?
That's basically what Canada is.
They're lucky if we even...
I mean, Troutot is the worst racist Nazi...
I mean, they have a lot of...
And the Canadians are good people.
Well, the people who roam the country...
I've got a lot of friends that are Canadians and I feel sorry for them, man.
Yeah, dude.
Lots of good Canadian people, man.
They're getting really shit on, aren't they?
Shout out to my boys up there.
I'm not even going to mention you guys' names.
You know who you are up there.
Nadeans Rock.
Because I don't want them to come at you and if you're associated with this...
Okay, now here's another story from Canada.
These sons of bitches.
Let me tell you, they are really...
Go, Kiki.
Well, that's what I said.
Another story from Canada is the cops now, they're saying, if somebody's like stealing
packages from your house, you can't record them.
Or if they're doing a crime, you can't record them because they haven't been proven, found
guilty.
So it's illegal for you to record them committing a crime.
Yeah.
It's all...
You're committing a crime if you're videotaping somebody else committing a crime.
Yeah, so here we go.
Yeah, exactly.
That's the thing.
Canadian law endorsed by Trudeau...
Trudeau's government could imprison people for life for speech crimes.
Yes, for life.
For life.
I mean, these are headlines.
I'm not making this.
This isn't a bad thing.
I heard about this yesterday, needles.
I really want to talk about our freedom of speech today.
I don't care if anybody doesn't care about it or not.
It's China.
This is something that they're taking away from us.
And Canada is... they're showing us the model for it.
Well, you know that all... there's a lot of restaurants owned in Canada by Chinese and
they have the cameras everywhere that are recording every person's actions, face,
all the shit.
Yeah, because you want to know why, because if you don't do it, the Chinese government
tells you to do it, they're going to kill your family.
Oh, it's a proven fact.
Did you see the largest funders of the whole trans LGQBF1?
Oh, I've done it wrong.
Yeah.
Well, that movement, you know, the biggest funders of that movement in this country,
the owner of Alibaba, a Chinese guy, and...
And...
And, uh, no, another large Chinese company, I forget the name of it, but another owner
of a Chinese company.
They just... you know how much... you know how much they fund...
You know how much they fund in their own country?
What's that?
Nothing.
None.
What's that?
China?
No, I'm saying Alibaba guy and the other some young guy, they...
Come with some young guy.
Come with some young guy?
They promote the shit out of LGBTQ and especially the trans shit here in America, but none.
They put zero dollars into it in their own countries, even though they put millions of dollars
into it here to fuck us up mentally.
Well, because they like lay boys and they can't do that in China.
It's a government PSYOP by another agency.
They also want to soften us.
This country has infiltrated our brains.
We're not a percent.
It's easier to take over.
Well, but think about this.
This country has infiltrated our brains with 15-second clips and trying to make these people rich
and famous so they don't want regular jobs, they don't want to have families, they want
to deviate from what their plan is as a human being.
Yeah.
They want to create content, do all the shit, likes, hearts, all this bullshit.
They say, what the fuck are you going to do?
They were saying if they want to ban TikTok, what are these people going to do?
That's a beauty Larry Needle show.
Nobody fucking gives us any likes.
I like it that way too.
They're fucking people.
Man, I mean, oh man.
What the sparrow are.
I mean, you know, you can't say fuck you all.
No, I'm not.
They say, no, I'm kidding.
Listen to how this goes.
I can say whatever I want.
Sit down to the audience.
I got the mic.
He's talking about the head.
He's talking about the TikTok crowd.
Yeah, I understand what you mean though.
And we don't have a presence on TikTok because listen, Larry likes to wear his, you got your
Chinese, you got the enemy's medallion on right now.
Yeah, look it.
Look it.
Larry's got the enemy's medallion on.
What is that thing?
It blocks 5G.
No, it makes the Chinese and the Japanese listen.
The chai comms are listening right now.
That's another Chinese sigh.
Yeah.
Well, we get the round die.
Hopefully if the medallion turns Larry gay.
It's not working so far.
The 5G's.
That's how he likes it.
You know, that's just so funny.
You can always tell a super fucking good pro comedian where he laughs at his own shit.
I'm laughing with my boys.
I'm not a comedian at all.
Obviously.
I'm an electrician.
I ain't a comedian.
What's so funny about me?
As soon as I get down here, he thinks I'm a comedian, but when I'm up changing his fart
fan, he's like, oh, you're an electrician.
Whatever.
I never make you do anything, man.
I got a bad fucking switch.
No, I got a bad switch.
Bad pepper.
Thank God it's not a woman's day month anymore.
It is woman's day.
By the way, you guys were wrong.
It is fucking woman's month.
We're wrong.
We're wrong as a collective.
Don't you say we're wrong?
You're all wrong.
I was right.
It's a month.
You are a real son of a bitch, aren't you?
I was right.
You're all wrong.
Yeah.
Ladies, I got your back.
I'm behind you all the way.
You're undies.
I get the undies.
I don't come anywhere.
In foot pics while you were sleeping.
Don't worry.
I got you.
You ain't going nowhere.
Unless there's handcuffs breaking.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
But you know, it is women's month and we want to just be as misogynistic as we possibly
can.
What is going on with you?
Hey, well, I do.
Maybe we all don't know.
You turned it on racist and very mad Larry.
I didn't raise anybody.
And if I did, I would have won.
That's right.
All right, so Canada stinks.
You know what I mean?
No, well, here's the thing, man, the government stinks and they're going to do that to us
too, bro.
No, we need that conservative guy, Pierre, whatever.
Dude, he's great.
I don't trust anybody.
Nobody, Pierre.
It's good.
I don't know about that.
Sounds like he's going to fuck my wife.
He fucked my wife.
Pierre did it probably.
This guy's going to be really good.
This guy's great.
You heard the speeches.
This guy's the conservative guy.
Pierre, he's popular in the locker room.
Oh, the dude eating the apple.
Yeah, he's like, so yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Now you know how to do it.
Yes, that guy.
That guy's fantastic.
Well, who says that?
Give me an example.
Yeah, he's fantastic.
I don't think they do.
He's like, a lot of people say, well, name one.
Name one of the people.
Tell me who.
Yeah, exactly.
Your son of a bitch.
You're coming up with the microphone.
Dude, he's just.
He's just a rapper.
Yeah, he's like, I read.
He's like, where did you read this?
I heard and the guy's like, who?
Who?
Yeah, he just.
And the person could he's like, well, I just know a lot of people think this while.
Give me an example.
Who?
Okay, it was a mom on tic-tac.
Yeah.
Well, it was great.
He just.
You need to wear a top and that's how you burn this shit.
I'll wear the fucking fed.
The only way I can handle this from now on.
What's that?
I'll wear the feds.
You know, it's the feds of truth.
I don't need that.
I'm always telling.
I always tell the truth.
I know.
I don't want the pure truth on the hundred episodes.
Yeah, wait for 104.
Okay.
Until Larry tells us how it is.
Damn.
So who owns the Alibaba, a Chinese person?
Chinaman.
Yeah.
Chinaman name.
I don't know like Zorro or any of those things.
I think Zorro is American, but I don't know for sure.
I don't know.
But I know.
Listen, I doubt it.
All that shit is is you sign up for the app and it just steals your info.
Steal, steal, steal, steal.
And people don't realize that shit.
No.
It's like, oh, I can get a product that I ordered that's not even going to look like
when it comes to my house.
No, I actually.
I got to re-ship it back with that.
That's the data you're in for all you shit.
I hooked up with some good companies on Alibaba.
Etsy.
That's how I was importing distillation equipment, the shore path distillation.
How old are these distillation equipment?
Distillate?
These distillers.
And what are you distilling?
Here's the haul.
What?
The poonshine.
These were prime distillers.
They can borrow it.
Distilling is cool.
All right, that was a good statement.
Distillers are cool, man.
I like them.
I think they're interesting.
I've seen some large-scale distilleries and I've seen what they look like and how they
work, and I like it.
Like the actual.
Some serious fucking science and shit.
You could also make it real complicated.
You could make it real fucking simple, too.
What's that?
I like it.
Depends on you.
What the fun do you do?
The distillers, man.
Yeah, we were making oil.
That's a good band, though.
It'll have some oil.
Nice.
How much you got to start with?
Yeah, you got to start with a lot of different things.
Well, that's who you are.
You just, yeah, you start with a shit ton, and then you mix it with ethanol.
Right.
Then ethanol distills from the rotary evaporator.
You squeeze it with the cheesecloth or whatever?
Well, there's, yeah, there's a multi-prime crazy process with it.
Can I get one of these dogs?
Pull it through.
Activate a carb and you pull out it.
Yeah.
Do you want to hear a funny Florida Man story?
God, this is a good one.
I love good stories.
Florida Man shoots girlfriend in the head while committing suicide.
I'm thinking good stories.
I'll let that one sink in for a minute, and then we can take a look at it.
So, yeah, next to this.
Sitting right next to her fucking.
Well, I mean, I don't, I mean.
How many shots were involved?
I'm going to read that title one more time.
Three.
All right, three shots.
But, man, Brian went to his head and right to her head or something.
She was next to him.
The guy shot himself in the head while he was arguing with this chick and she was standing
next to him and then full it ricocheted in her.
Damn.
So, she had to call the hospital and he killed him and then she had to get taken away.
Wow.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
She got in trouble?
No, no, she didn't get in trouble.
Oh, okay.
She got taken away to the hospital.
Yeah, okay.
I thought you meant she got taken away to the hospital.
So, the guy, they got into an argument.
I mean, I'll say the names.
I thought she died.
That's Florida, baby.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wait a minute.
The land of the family.
Oh, almost took his girlfriend's life.
Almost took his girlfriend's life.
They won't say their names though.
Those fuckers.
We know somebody who tried to do that and he missed.
He missed, shoot himself in the head?
Kinda.
We're even kinda.
I mean, now we have to tell him.
Some people just aren't good at anything.
I mean, right.
I mean, seriously.
I've always wondered.
It's sad but funny.
Well, I'll tell you what, man.
There was this kid that used to come see our band like back in the 80s and he'd follow
us around and I don't know, really, I never talked to him a little bit.
He blew the, he was trying to commit suicide and the gun was pointed too low and he blew
the bottom of his fucking face off.
Jof.
He was still alive and he's hanging out and partying and he's got half his fucking
face blown on.
Hey, what are you gonna do?
You're gonna sit at home and be pissing, trying to build yourself in?
No, but I'm just saying, yeah, people do fuck that up.
I mean, now you got another chance at life but, I mean, come on, get it together.
Like they say, we talked about that documentary on the Golden Gate Bridge, you ever see that?
Where do people jump off?
As soon as they, as soon as the minute their feet leave the top railing, the second, the
second, where they could take and grab it.
And one guy survived.
He broke like all his bones in his body.
Hit the water.
And he's like, yeah, oh yeah, it was a concrete.
Well, yeah, I mean, dude, a fish's ass out.
Dude, the San Francisco, the Golden Gate Bridge, man, that's a, that's a long, long trip.
How far is it?
200 feet?
How tall is it, you think?
No, I mean, it's gotta be a couple hundred feet.
Yeah, it's gotta be 500 feet.
No, it's not, I don't think it's that far.
No, no, no.
But still, no, water, water is like hitting concrete.
Oh yeah, I know that.
Yeah, it hurts if you're on the 10 meter.
Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah.
I remember going, jumping off that and, yeah.
And it hurts you.
Dude, it hurts if you're standing on the edge of my pool and you fucking belly flop on
it.
Yeah, water, shit, it's like concrete.
You don't need that much space for it to hurt.
No, that's crazy though.
I know that pilots want to crash, they'd rather crash on land and on water.
I saw this Houdini thing where he was jumping it, you know, he had to make these, everything
was obviously a live show because it was like 1890s or something.
No editing.
Yeah, so this motherfucker was going, you know, getting some publicity and getting everyone
gathered to a bridge and he would jump off different bridges, chained up and shit.
Right, and escaped.
And he said, and a lot of times, he would fuck up jumping into the water and really
get hurt.
Oh, he busted rainbows, busted legs.
He really fucking wound himself and then he had to get out of the shit on top of it.
The shit's crazy.
With the wind knocked out.
Lucky doesn't knock himself out.
He has gay ass magicians now, like nothing like Houdini.
No, that motherfucker was bad.
David Copperfield's going to make the moon disappear.
Like, David Blaine does some cool stuff.
David Blaine does some cool stuff.
Yeah, but he's a devil.
He's a lot of good shit.
Who's the devil?
David Blaine is a devil.
Why is that?
He just is.
Is it a huckster?
A trickster?
Probably.
Yeah, it's like the old school magicians.
He knows.
You know what you're just saying.
Well, like even when you stick the needle through his hand, there's spots you can do
that to where you really won't bleed much.
I remember my buddy, well, not my buddy anymore, but we're taking my garage door apart and
the spring was still tension.
Oh, yeah.
And he's still ranking on this thing.
I'm like, dude, what are you doing?
What are you doing, man?
Yeah, like, we got to take the tension off that thing and right as he did the last one
and it's straight down and like ripped on his arm, just ripped it apart.
Like, big wound opened it.
But all of a sudden it was just crazy.
No blood whatsoever.
It's like none.
It's just a hunk taking on.
It was a big gash.
It was like a whole hog.
There was this story about this guy when he was building.
This is fictitious.
No, this is fucking legit.
He was building this in this thing that I'm going to tell you about is actually in the
Smithsonian.
This cat was the tapper.
What that is is they drill the hole and then they put the gunpowder in and with this metal
rod they tap it down and then they set the explosives while they were building the railroad
to connect from California.
Oh, this fucking guy.
This fucking guy.
This thing went off.
The fucking bar went through his head out of his eye fucking through his head and he
didn't die.
Now, and this fucking thing is a three foot long.
You can look that shit up on the internet.
Like crowbar and this motherfucker lost his eye.
Like a guy that falls off scaffolding and lands on rebar and it just punctures.
Now listen, he came right back to work within like a couple days.
Oh, he's got to.
But the, and he was like one of the main guys in the fucking, no, he was a white guy.
He was a tough mother fucker.
Wow, I'm working on the railroad?
Yeah.
He was Asian and would have been tossing the river.
Yeah.
Well, anyways.
Quick sand.
I was like a really cool guy and really funny and the nice guy before that.
And afterwards it hit some part of his brain where he was like real fucking quick tempered
and really mean.
No, that's what the people said.
He changed.
Yeah.
And they said, well, it went through the certain part of his brain.
It didn't fucking kill him and he had a fucking hole in his head.
I mean, I don't know what I'd rather have.
Well, you got people ripping on you all day.
Hey, one eye Willie.
Oh, did he?
He was a good man.
He lost an eye in the process.
Yeah.
It fucked him up.
But you ever see like those videos of the guy like all of a sudden there's like a roof
or a shoot nail soon and nail like lodged in the guy's head.
Yeah.
You see like bounce off or something.
Yeah.
I mean, there's multiple crazy things that you can see the human.
I've seen Marlin fish or sailfish comes up.
Oh, yeah.
The guy.
Yeah.
It is crazy the amount of shit the body can withstand.
Yeah.
I'll tell you.
I would stand a while.
Killing us one by one.
Yeah.
And then you just fucking around in the ocean because, you know, not only on a in the water
or in a boat because you're going to get stabbed to the Marlin or fucking knocked out by a
whale.
That's very rare.
It's not like it happens on a show.
Swallowed by a fish that's, you know, you can fucking swallow you without even chewing.
I've done great white shark diving.
I got dough with the great white shark.
Not a doubt in my mind.
We'll just do a taster test.
I haven't even watched it.
And you'll be dead.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you know what though?
Infections and bleeding and, you know, even if they just bite you slightly, their shit
is so jagged and sharp.
You're going to be fucked up really bad from it.
Even if they decide they don't want to eat you, you're going to be wounded just by a
little nibble.
Especially if you're Imperial Beach by South San Diego where Tijuana River comes out.
Oh my Lord.
Oh yeah, the Tijuana Slough.
We were just talking about that.
I got staff infection when I was surfing and fucking.
That's what they used to call you.
Imperial Beach.
That's what they used to call it in Boys Town in California.
The Pee Pee Slough.
My Succeeds.
That was over by Sweet.
Dude, literally, Larry, when I got out of the water, my leg was black.
That's peaky.
Yeah.
I remember seeing the pussies.
It was the same thing.
We just put duck feet on it.
I know this girl that cut her foot in the Fox fucking River and she got like 12 different
diseases and had to be in the hospital for a month and almost lost her foot.
From water skiing right around here.
You didn't even have to go to Tijuana.
How about when they did the Olympics in Argentina or was it Brazil and the fucking boaters all
got ill.
You didn't get sick from water.
Anyone that didn't live from around there was about to die after that.
Why did you go in that water?
It's disgusting.
Well that's when they decided to have their little canoeing races and shit to the Olympics.
Yeah, natural water.
Natural water.
Natural waters with battery acids and car batteries.
You know in Brazil like certain river like if you take a piss in the river.
There's things in your dinger.
Yeah.
Swim up with your diverge.
If you're in the river.
No, no.
If you're standing on a boat and you're pissing it in the water.
There's parasites that will swim up your piss.
A stream.
Into your dick.
And it has reverse barbs on it.
It has reverse barbs on it.
So it's just in.
Yeah, that's it.
You got to kill it.
Yeah, I had a girlfriend named reverse barb.
I do like the videos like electric eels.
Like people are like, oh, just grab it.
Just grab it.
You see, they're right here.
They're like, grab it.
That is the one good thing the internet is great for.
It's just the stupid shit that we can see out there.
Especially what do you do?
You're going down the Amazon.
For fucking with this.
They just move along, buddy.
Move along.
He's beating it.
And I was on the ox kick someone.
It's like, all right, there you go.
Vee shnugger.
Look, getting to that suitcase.
And then everybody just points a lapse at him and leaves him.
I'd make a suitcase though.
You can see I could fit into a snooker.
Now look at me.
Oh, did you see the one article about the elephant killed this old lady, killed the lady.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, it injured her first.
Is this the one you're talking about?
And then it came back to kill her.
Came back to kill her.
And then they had the funeral.
Elephant came again, took the coffin out of the ground and stomped on it again.
Like took her out and stomped on it again.
Get the fuck out of here.
I don't know what that lady did.
You say an elephant never freaks you out.
It is true, but what?
What the hell?
Was this in India?
No, I think it was.
Africa?
Africa.
One of those countries where elephants are rampant and pissed.
And then wherever elephants are, they're rampant.
Well, they're something to the elephant.
That's one thing you don't fuck with.
Man, elephants are awesome.
Yeah, they are.
I didn't say they were, but I mean, I like to have an elephant foot table.
Yeah, you don't fuck with an elephant.
No.
I was riding an elephant to Thailand.
Man, I didn't say the foot table for the train.
It was like Kiki talk for a second.
Yeah.
I was doing jungle treks and stuff like Changmai.
This was the golden triangle.
When I had all the opium dems like Changrai.
I've been to the golden triangle.
Like Changrai.
I've been to the golden triangle.
I mean, dude, this was the good opium.
But anyways, we were doing jungle treks and riding on an elephant.
I was just sitting on the top of the elephant head.
All of a sudden this thing stopped just out of nowhere.
And you were flying for it.
Yeah, I almost fell off the front of it.
That's how they got you.
Yeah, got its two front legs up.
Like what's going on?
And then the Thai guys, like something must be in the way there.
They go down there.
Yeah, well, there's a big black scorpion and the elephant didn't want to, I don't know
how the elephant even saw it.
It's weird.
Put your hands out.
You're getting a trompe.
You see there are a few little things like that.
Well, yeah.
Well, they've probably stepped on them before.
Ow.
Yeah.
It's in their, what's that called?
It's in their DNA.
DNA.
But there's also their makeup, yeah.
Yeah.
To not fucking.
Yeah, they know about that stuff.
Totally learn about that shit.
You know, it's like there's smart.
Fuck the jungle, man.
I don't want to go to the jungle.
Fuck them up.
Sure.
You shooting me?
What?
Well, there's smart because a little thing could fuck them up.
Just like when a cat or a little spoo-foo dog chases away a grizzly out of the people's
fucking area.
Well, but that's funny though.
Think about that though.
That's our wild.
A freaking elephant knows not to fucking mess with the scorpion or the elephant.
A kitten puts a rat-wiler in its place, you know.
I don't want that in his foot.
What?
When a kitten puts a rat-wiler in its place.
It's completely different than what we're talking about.
No, no, the elephant knows that just because this thing is small, it's a scorpion that
could fuck me up.
It's deadly.
Fuck me up.
No, it is deadly.
It's probably where they get the elephant is afraid of a mouse.
That doesn't mean a cat is deadly for a rat-wiler.
Fuck this shit.
I mean, your nails stink sometimes.
Dude, I get what you're saying.
No, yeah.
I mean, too, I'm just busting the balls.
There's cool videos where cats come out like smacking the dog, saving a kid.
Yeah, that's the shit.
I love that.
Cats are smacking the shit out of things.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
I know that by the time the dog moves, they can get away.
Yeah.
No, no, but you know what?
The dog ain't gonna kill it.
It knows that the dog is a bitch.
That's the only thing that counts.
It is.
It knows it can manhandle it.
To some extent.
Woman handle it.
Woman demand handle it.
Do cats are pretty fucked too, man.
I've seen the cats with snakes and the snake try to snap, like strike the cat.
The cat just smacks it out.
What you trying to do?
What you talking about?
Call me no play that.
Or like three times in a row.
Yeah.
The snake just like what the fuck just happened?
You know what?
I was gonna talk about this also.
This is a good video.
Frickin' Bezos, man.
Just invested another $30 million into a new meat industry.
Oh boy.
And now Tyson is closing seven plants.
That was the plant that closed.
Not Ford.
It was Tyson that closed Iowa and moved to New York.
Six of them are closing.
That's fucking only.
Why is it new?
Monkey's Point, New York.
Woo!
It was only hired.
They say fuck you.
Only hired.
Why is it moving to New York though?
It's got to be illegal.
Because they want to live close to the city.
No, they were shutting these ones down.
Because they want to hire them.
They had other ones that did cheap people.
But I thought Tyson got in trouble for having illegals.
Yeah, they're 15 year old kid.
But now it's okay.
They're one.
But now it's okay.
Hey, you know if you got a social security number you can just work anywhere now.
They'll tell you right now if I try to go get a loan or try to go do anything I need a social security number, right?
But the people we're lighting in there are going to attack us.
Well the younger generation, the whites don't want to do this shit.
White lives matter.
Any Americans, the younger generation, they don't want any of those jobs.
What's that?
There you go.
That's our new symbol, right?
Our t-shirt.
It can't, right?
Not to be confused with the west.
But no, they're going to keep on shutting down these plants and they're going to make us more dependent on this meat that they're growing out of a freaking lab.
And I know, listen to Jones, he's saying that the cells that they used were made from cancer cells.
Yeah, cancer cells and cheap people.
Yeah, of course.
It's not good shit.
BS, no.
This is stuff that we shouldn't be in taking.
It's coming from, you can't get good from bad.
You can't start with a bad, well no, you can't.
You can't start with something shitty and get a quality thing from it.
Just like Patsy, it's whatever you want.
Start with good seeds.
You're going to get...
Marijuana, the first one starts off bad and then you clone it and then you keep on doing genetic better.
But you don't want to start out with one that's sick to begin with.
You got to start out with something healthy.
We weren't sick at one point as a country.
Now we're totally sick because people have made us sick.
They make us believe that we're sick.
They make us feel, one more time later, and you get a kick to the chops.
He's doing that later.
Gay Charles.
So I got one and we're across town.
They keep on telling us that everything's alright.
It's not alright.
There is nothing right in this country right now.
And I'm not an idiot.
You know what I mean?
And I'll say that you might think I'm an idiot.
I know you are.
I love you though.
I love you too.
So my idiocracy rubs off on you a little bit.
I got to say, my IQ has definitely went down.
I'll tell you, driving here, passing on our Army Trail, all the fast food places, they're mobbed.
It's so ridiculous.
They're mobbed.
And they're expensive now.
And the shit that they're putting there now, it's crazy expensive.
And yeah, a chicken sandwich has like 50 ingredients.
What?
And you can't even say a half of it.
French fry, anything down to the lowest denominator is filled with GMOs.
It's filled with crap that is high fructose corn syrup.
It's filled with everything that is banned in other countries.
They don't even need to put in it.
Yeah, but they, you know, like grade D.
Well, they test everything out.
It's like, why?
Like Taco Bell.
They're just killing us with food.
Isn't that crazy?
And the water too.
Look at Flint, Michigan.
We can't even keep our people from drinking bad water.
All those pipes.
Shout out to Flint, me and Bobby played at the race track at that weed festival.
We love you guys.
We can't keep our food safe anymore.
Does anybody have a problem with that?
Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't drink a lot.
The problem is, you didn't drink the kooi.
There's such a small percentage of people that realize this.
Even though you think it's a lot of people.
It's small.
Dude, because the majority of the population are just idiots.
Well, they are.
They're lemmings.
They follow a narrative and they'll follow it to the dying.
You know what I mean?
Oh my gosh, we need to respect people that pretend that they're a dude and other a chick.
Like get out of here.
Stay the fuck out of the women's bathroom, dude.
Like all of a sudden, I was like, if I told you, hey, guess what guys?
I'm a fanook.
I'm going to go into the ladies bathroom.
You'd be like, man, this guy's a real creep.
You have dressed for me?
Yeah, you know.
Take some pictures.
Oh no, I'm speaking of that.
Did you see all the women now are suing the NCAA?
NCAA, NAACP.
NAACP.
We always have a hard time with that one.
NAACP.
Shout out to my brothers.
They're suing about El Sharpton and...
El Sharpton, keep it.
Jesse the Body Jackson.
Jesse the Body Jackson and Jesse the Body Jackson Jr.
He's the one who's going to the joint for a little while.
My father was stealing hand over fist.
Back then was when blacks got in trouble still.
Chitlin' over fist.
He had sickle cell bills to pay from the hospitals.
That's why I let him...
I'm joking, I know you.
I'm telling you, I want to start that...
Black wrestling league sickle cell.
Yeah, sickle cell.
Dude, El Sharpton, no man, he just looks like a shyster.
Oh my God.
I don't know if you guys are a little younger,
but you remember Bobby.
Remember when El Sharpton was a little, rolly, poley guy?
Yeah, sure.
I liked him like that too.
Well, now he's got big ass head.
Slick back there.
Oh yeah, he hasn't changed.
His weight changed, but he hasn't changed.
He became more famous.
He's more of a racist even though there's less of him somehow.
But he was literally tried for killing a person during a riot
when they started a building on fire back in New York.
But he's El Sharpton, so he talked his ass out of it.
I don't know if you talked his ass out of it.
No, he gave up some people.
Yeah, just like they all did.
I don't know if those guys were informants.
MLK, Jesse, the body, Joe, what is his name?
Jesse Jackson.
He was involved in MLK's, what do you call it, assassination?
Yeah, and he was on the porch with it.
Man, oh, he's had a great show.
And any of those guys involved?
I don't know if they were on the porch as much as they were on the balcony.
They were by the zoo, so there were a lot of monkeys over there.
There was a bound court.
There was a lot of people near the yard.
Oh, man, you know what, there were a couple of spears later.
He was so glad they didn't shoot him by the stand.
No, but check this out.
Hey, check this out.
He went to the moon and then they saw some crickets.
Check this out, dude.
The Lorraine Hotel where MLK got shot, they have the half-smoked,
Newport cigarette that was going during the fucking time he got shot,
like the last cigarette he was smoking.
MLK? Yeah.
He was having to fucking smoke a Newport or a cool...
I mean, I think you're making fun of him.
No, I swear to you.
My mom told me...
This is like me telling you about a movie.
Yeah, I don't fall for this.
I'm dying over there.
Yeah, he can't contain it.
This is real.
This is a gusto.
I'm not lying.
I'm not making this up.
Your mom told you this, right?
Real reliable source.
Henry, I love you, but I don't know about this one.
They had the half...
And my dad saw it, too.
What do they have it?
The Lorraine...
The last case?
Well, like on the little table...
They have a museum?
No, it's at the Lorraine Hotel.
They saved that room and made it into like a shrine to MLK,
and they sell tickets for people to go there,
and they got like a half...
But you walk into the disco ball in there,
and it's all like those black naked lady pictures.
Yeah.
I just bought paper and a big bus.
Like that, but black, yeah.
Super fly.
Yeah, man, and he was having a new port,
and he got fucking shined.
Often.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, MLK was a good one, that's for sure.
And then Jesse Jackson, how he got famous,
was he was right there wiping MLK's wound blood
on his fucking shirt.
So when they took pictures of MLK,
Dad, the guy holding him was Jesse Jackson.
I don't know why she wouldn't even know who he was,
because he had a bunch of fucking...
Never miss a good photo on me.
He's just glad they didn't shoot him by mistake.
I don't know what they'll look alike.
Well, what do you guys think?
David Ray, David Earl?
Earl James Earl Jones.
James Earl Jones?
James Earl Jones.
George Vader.
He's there.
I'm your father.
Luke, I am your father.
Luke, I will shoot you.
I mean your brother.
Martin.
Oh, man.
What?
I mean, it's gonna be consensual.
Luke, I'm your father.
You mean my mom had sex with black guys?
No, no.
Luke, I'm going out for cigarettes.
I'll be back in 20 minutes.
I'll be back.
Never.
Have a good life, Luke.
I mean, I'll be right back.
And I'll live down the street just three blocks away.
With my other family, Luke.
Oh, my new wife.
Oh, man, that's funny.
That's too funny.
Oh, man, I can't see that shit.
Oh, man.
I can't breathe.
I gotta check it.
The guy's trying to pass a fake 20.
Yeah.
We're at 39.
So what is that stuff?
That's a nicotine spray now?
Is that a beer?
Are there beers in there?
Yeah, cool.
Do you want it?
What do you need?
Do you want a beer?
Yeah, I zipped it to keep the cold in.
Yeah, I left it open.
Very fucking, you know, gay.
What would you call him doing like that?
I mean, he's going to wait that long to say something.
I didn't want to say the word that I was thinking.
They popped first in my head.
A male prostitute.
Yeah.
Finocchio.
Finocchio, yeah.
All right, so let's do Fudge and Cookie 500.
Dreams about film.
I'm going Bobby Bronco, do Fudge and Cookie.
Today, we made Steamboat and Kiki Rochambeau for us.
Kiki Rochambeau for it.
Yeah.
So, it's a
little bit of a weird one.
What do you think?
We can get a little bit of it.
Yeah.
I'm not going to go with the
fake one because it doesn't have to be fake.
I'm not going to go with the fake one.
I'm going to get a little bit of it.
You said it's fake.
I'm going to get a little bit of it.
You said it's fake.
So, I can tell that already, because you don't know what
you're at.
He's completely lost.
Look at him.
He just laughed.
Yeah, look for it though.
I'm just reading the next one.
Yeah.
Your mom should have spit you out.
Be better running down my leg.
Old dreams never die.
They just get filed away.
You know, I think we did that one earlier.
Yeah, I don't even know where your ad contributions are.
You're going to read like six of them now.
I think that was on another.
You think that you would mark it?
Old dreams get filed away?
Yeah.
That's fucking bullshit.
That's fucking make any sense.
I don't mean.
Find a good one.
Really?
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
It seems like I read that one too.
Yeah, because you.
Because those are just so simple.
We need something good.
OK.
This one I don't think we read.
If you go into a Chinese whorehouse, don't go with girls.
Avoid sores.
Where are Jimmy?
Open source.
Stay clear.
Pretend you in Bangkok.
When you go to a Chinese whorehouse,
make sure you Bangkok.
OK.
Creative energy is up.
Huh?
Capitalize on it.
Creative energy is up.
Yeah.
See, he understands because he's with all these Chinese
whores.
I can't read it again.
He understands.
Yeah, I can.
I can.
OK, read it again.
He could translate if you don't understand.
Yeah.
Capitalize on it.
What was it again?
Capitalize on it.
Creative energy is up.
Yeah.
Capitalize on it.
That means if you could do something, do something.
Well, it means if you're going to be creative, play the guitar,
draw, write, do something.
Creative energy is up.
Capitalize on it.
Yeah.
You know?
Cup it.
You know?
Cup it.
You know what?
Listen.
I didn't need a fortune to tell me that.
Yeah.
Obviously.
He's a really dumb one.
You know what I mean?
It's just us be racist and hit the golf.
Some of these China men fucking don't have so much wisdom
to take claim.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, anybody can do that.
These Chinese fortune cookies.
Well, let's just do a right and stuff.
Oh, round eyes, stupid.
We tell them this.
Well, because we are compared.
Something a bit obvious.
Dummy read.
Well, compared to.
Dummy read it at the dinner.
I mean, look at our work ethic.
Look at the way our country's going.
I mean, we got, you think this shit's
happened to China and Russia and anywhere.
Oh, my favorite thing going on right now.
And I'm going to thank you to the United States government
for intervening in this amazing thing that's going on in Haiti
with the guy who's called Barbecue.
Oh, man.
I mean, and do you know why he's called Barbecue?
Because he likes cooking people.
Oh, man.
Man, do you guys see what's going on in Haiti?
Yeah.
Governments resigned.
Oh, we're sending troops on the ground to help them.
Actually, what's going on?
I thought we were paying African governments
to come and intervene.
No.
And the president's last.
Do you know what's going on?
Are you buying?
I didn't know.
Oh, man.
He doesn't even know.
Let's tell him.
OK, so this guy, Barbecue, who's literally a fucking gang
leader.
But he also was a cop at one point.
Right.
OK?
This guy is taking over Haiti.
Well, yeah, he's taking over Haiti.
Over through the government, literally.
Have you ever seen God of War?
No.
Oh, man.
Good movie.
We got to get into this right now.
Good movie.
OK, man, Larry.
So there was this guy, and he thought he was God.
All right?
But he could not help himself because he
lived on a farm to have sex with the animals.
No way.
Yes.
I don't believe it.
What do you mean you don't believe this?
You eat the chickens?
This ain't the movie.
Well, they wanted to name itself Mouse,
but it would have been X-rayed as sounding.
They had to because they were talking about God,
and they were talking about war.
So the animals get into a fight one day,
and the only way to quell the animals from fighting
is to bang them on the top.
Put them in their place?
So he's the God of War.
So he got into.
Sounds interesting.
Very interesting.
So this barbecue guy, he is literally.
Similar situation.
Yeah, he's taken, if you've ever seen God of War,
just kind of like this.
You know what I mean?
These people go in there.
They sell them weapons.
All of a sudden, these guys are armed.
They throw over through the government.
I mean, when they had that, was it the Haiti earthquake
or the tsunami or something?
There was earthquake or something.
Whatever.
Some fucked them up.
We gave them a bunch of money.
So basically, as usual.
Well, basically, the Clinton Foundation
went down there and gathered up as many Haitian kids
as they could fucking, I mean, grab up and they took them away.
I mean, there was a boat waiting for them.
You know what I mean?
That's what they did.
They didn't help anybody.
Just like we're talking, you know what?
And I'm going to be honest with you,
just like we're talking about what's
going on with the illegals and aliens coming in this country.
It is all a sigh for children.
It really is, man.
And I hate to say that.
I mean, this is what it boils down to.
Because what do they care about?
You don't hear anything about the kids, do you?
Like, where are these kids going?
But you hear about illegals hurting people
and doing bad stuff to people.
No, did you hear, it was a Dr. Phil?
Is that the guy in the ball guy?
He's a guy, yeah.
He's a good guy, actually.
But he went to the border.
Well, no.
Yeah, well, he did that.
But then he was on the view.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And the view started questioning him.
And he started telling him.
He's like, they're like, well, this can't be.
How do you know?
He had video.
Where are these children going?
How do you?
Get back out of here.
They were trying to deny him.
They don't play.
And he's like, no, we know this.
They're sitting in the corner of the room.
All those skirts in the view, like in Lady Predator.
If you want to talk, I wouldn't call them skirts, man.
There's only one good-looking one.
They'll smoke up their ass, their skirts are flippin'.
Dude, the whoopster?
But so basically, he's out there,
and he's telling the truth.
Like, this is what's going on.
And they can't deny.
I said, whoopie, I wouldn't fuck with a needle stick
and blame Bobby's.
Ugh.
We both got treated.
But they go out.
This guy goes on there, and he tells them the truth.
And they're just so, just their brain washed.
And they're in Hollywood.
So they kind of have some inkling of what's going on.
So Biden's helping this, right?
Yeah.
He's doing the other rituals that they do with these people.
And they make them do bad stuff.
And everybody's in on it.
It's like us, people like us.
We are, I would say we're the purest of pure,
because we're the furthest from the West.
And they call us the bad.
We're in the middle of the country.
Yeah.
You know, it's like, we obviously
were diluted with all the shenanigans.
Although we're a little too close to Chicago
to be that pure.
Yeah, but we need drugs.
We're still fucked up.
Yeah.
A little, you know, maybe we lived a little too close.
Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, that's the thing, though.
You gotta live close to get to the concerts.
You don't want to live there, though.
Because I mean, come on, they bring the National Guard
to frickin' New York.
And then what's his nuts?
Johnson, or not, with Johnson, yeah.
From Chicago, he's like, yeah, bring in the National Guard.
Let's make these people get used to this one police state.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
And we're just going to take your rights.
That's what they're really doing.
Yeah.
And they're still not doing anything, though.
It's a problem in New York.
They got the, oh, we're bringing it.
We're hulk-o or whatever that bitch is.
Cathy hulk-o.
Yeah, she's like, we're going to bring in the National Guard.
She looks crazy as fuck.
It's like all of a sudden.
Yeah.
Like, why haven't you?
You're going to search your bags, and if you don't like it, don't write this out.
And then we'll search your bags, but some guy gets shot the other day.
Another lady gets pushed down the tracks.
And can you see that?
We talked about that.
Both of her feet got cut off.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, did you see the one guy that they had to put it?
No, she can't run away.
Damn, teacher.
Did you see the video footage of the guy?
He had like three Molotov cocktails ready to go flame.
Yeah, he was tommy.
Two cans.
And yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
There were Jerry Riggs.
Yeah, they were, yeah.
I'm all, yeah, OK.
I'll tell you that.
I'll call him Jerry Riggs.
Yeah, that's called Jerry Riggs.
Yeah, Soup Can's on fire, and he was about to throw him on people.
Damn.
He did throw him on people.
Did he?
He didn't want in there.
Another guy lights a bag on fire.
And the crazy thing is, I listen to some podcasts on the East Coast,
and they take the subway, and they're like, people are just whacking off,
smoking crack.
It's like, what the hell is going on?
Dude, did you see the one video?
The guy, dude, what do you think is a real pervert, right?
Bobby to pull his wiener out at a place around.
It's a cheap way to do that shit.
It only cost a little bit for a monthly pass, you know, you hop on the subway.
Oh, to be a watcher.
What did you see the one day?
Don't talk about you like to pull your wiener out in front of playgirls and whack it.
Only on the L.
You just look at a playgirl through the L.
Only on the red line.
The red line goes north, north straight.
You want to give a real death wish, don't you?
I wouldn't get on there if you paid me.
I wouldn't even go on there on blackface.
I'll tell you that.
Dude, you ever see a death wish?
Dude, some guys started videotaping like this homeless guy.
Now now he brings like a kiddie pool on the subway and takes baths in it on the subway.
Oh, nice.
How do you get the water in?
Dude, who knows.
I mean, this is, this is alright.
You can't piss in there all day.
But I mean, why would you?
I mean, it's not totally filled up, but this guy, he is filled up.
The logistics of this.
I mean, someone to hire this guy is a producer for the Larry and Neal Show.
That's great.
Can I bring my swimmer pool?
It's got gusto.
Oh, dude, there's another video.
This guy starts banging some chick in a tent in the middle of the subway car.
Nice.
And you hear her, she's like, I'm hungry.
Go get me some.
And he comes out looking.
He sees some guy in his sandwich and give me that sandwich.
He grabs it, takes a bite and like goes back into the tent and gives it to her.
He's like a New York City rat.
Like, oh man.
The rats are progressing too.
That's a little, you know.
I'm interested to know how did they have the tent set up in the city.
I was gonna fucking grab my ass right now.
Well, they're probably paying this guy to do this stuff too.
I don't think I mean, like they're just banging in a tent in the subway station.
Oh yeah.
Like that little tent at Coachella, I don't know what that Asian dude next to us.
Oh my God.
It was like a tiny little tent.
He had this tent where it was like.
And it's like 100 degrees.
And all of a sudden like at four o'clock, he unzips it and comes out.
He was in there the whole time.
He's like, I've got my odds.
Looking at comic books like Asian or Japanese comic books.
Anime.
Hand-died shit.
It's crazy.
Yeah, he's in California and he spends his time in a tent.
In the middle of the desert at Coachella.
But some people had these tents.
What they got in the army.
All you could do is open it, get in and lay down and zip it.
And zip it.
It had no room.
It had no sleeping bags.
No, that's a good thing.
You go and you get to rent a sleeping locker.
Dude, like I couldn't even fit one of those things.
I wouldn't have seen it.
Yeah, I would have doubted it.
Yeah, tiny.
You think about this.
If you were homeless, like you have to get the mindset to do things.
You're just banging in the subway in a tent.
I mean, could you really?
Not a care in the world, man.
I mean, really?
I mean, the world is your oyster.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You're just shoving the hell out of it.
This guy's like a movie, thinks he's a movie star.
And I mean, I could never.
I would like to see him in one of those little lockers.
Dude, those things are tiny, man.
Why is that?
I could never.
I could just.
Oh, God.
I could go into like a three-wide.
Yeah, I could.
Triple-wide.
That's why I'd like to see Steamboat in there.
Steamboat in China.
That would be Steamboat in China.
Steamboat, Steamboat.
Stuck in the tub.
Yeah.
Then we hire a couple of kids.
Now you take bath now.
Here's our tub.
We have to oil you up.
If Crisco, you use this, man.
You and the oil to get out.
Wexon, Wexos.
I guarantee that's a Japanese fetish.
Like rubbing down white.
It was like, white guys.
That white guy's the way.
You must eat a lot.
Yeah.
Ooh, we rubbed it a little bit.
But they're used to that shit though.
We always have part of the oil.
Yeah.
Like the Japanese with the sumo guys.
Like, dang.
When I was fucking all wounded from motorbike accidents and shit, I would go to the car.
Scooter accidents.
Let's clarify that.
In ATVs.
Wipe out and out.
Everything I get on.
Fucking.
So I would go to China and I'm in the car.
He did the Bears too.
He used to do the Chicago Bears.
The Ligaki Puncher type stuff?
Yeah.
It's a Sino-American fucking, you know, it was cool.
And I loved it.
But you did.
You know, you stripped down your underwear.
And I was really skinny.
I loved it.
And I was really, really skinny at the time.
And the wife would come in and put the...
It's as percolatious as we go on.
Like they had this blanket that was in the microwave, this thick material that would hold some heat first.
Like, hey, don't put that.
And she would come in and they would lay, you know, they lay you down and she would laugh.
Yeah, cause you saw your mirror.
Oh no, I think just cause I was like a skeleton to her.
What's that brown spot on your underwear?
Tiny wiener.
I had my underwear on.
You're gonna say too?
You should be ashamed coming in here with a tiny wiener.
You got a big leak.
At least work it over in the pocket knife.
Anyways, and it was cool, man.
It was cool.
I liked it.
And they would hook these electrodes up to it.
Have you ever gotten there?
Yeah, shot treatment.
Ah, so fucking good.
Have you ever done it?
Yeah, they put on your hat and tried to see.
And they fucking hook up the electrode.
They're like, oh, this guy's a real friend.
Yeah, give you a little go-voltage on there.
And then they say, ah, more.
You got him all?
Is a hug yet?
And I had him all the way up.
He's like, if you can handle it, go for it.
Put it on my go for it.
Put it on my tattoo.
My dog.
That's what I want.
You got a couple extra months.
Yeah.
I like that feeling.
A little bit more.
It seems like I can't imagine the tattoo feels that good.
No, I mean, you're not.
It feels good to get a tattoo.
It vibrates like hell.
That's about what it does.
Yeah.
But you're not getting electrocuted.
No, I'm just.
I want to get electrocuted too.
I've done that.
You want to at the same time?
Yeah.
You got some real kinky fatties going on right now.
We can arrange that.
I'm going to tattoo while they zap my gooch in my ball.
Hook it right up.
With the car cable.
And then you can right sit on my face and fart in my mouth.
Now you're mixing me up with you.
That's what they call it.
Asian muffler.
I like that.
I've been hurting that one.
Asian muffler.
Sitting fart on my face.
Sit on my face and fart in my mouth.
Dude, that's a great one.
That's a shirt.
Or at least a bumper sticker.
A bumper sticker.
Sit on your face and do that.
I got an Asian muffler.
Golden triangle.
Yoke and mirror.
That's funny.
I got a gift certificate for the golden triangle actually.
Is that all you can eat?
Don't worry baby, it's only simplex A.
It'll go away in a week.
Aw man.
You're not stuck with it.
That's alright.
Now the cat's happy.
Not a clap.
Speaking of the clap, how about those chats?
Shout out to our boys, the chats.
Yeah, the chats.
Oh yeah, those guys are good.
I didn't know what the hell you were talking about.
We're in Australia down there.
Down under punk rock.
I forgot what I was going to talk about for a second.
There's a punk rock show every single weekend needles.
That was pretty fun.
Dude, there was a fucking anti-witchcraft thing in Angola.
Angola.
Angola Spain.
That's Africa.
So everybody drank this herbal shit.
And if they survived they won a witch and all 50 of them died.
You were all witches.
I like massed.
You know what I mean? I like Jim Jones shit.
Man, that definitely sounded like Jim Jones shit.
It's hilarious.
You have to have charisma.
They go hilarious.
What's that?
I was just thinking that.
They call that Riz.
The kids call that Riz.
Oh yeah, you got Riz there.
Man, you got Riz.
Charisma.
Remember Ivan telling us about those kids that go out
and they beg for money all day.
And then they give it to their parents
so they can go buy crack and then they eat the glue.
He said they eat it.
The kids do the glue.
The kids get the glue and the parents get the coke.
That's how it works.
I know.
Most parents don't even give the kids any of the drugs.
Well, glue is not really...
Well, you take the money.
It's kind of like when you're...
When you're begging for nickels.
You think these guys would learn how to band together
and kill their parents.
Then he said...
Why do they want this?
If you kill these people, it's OK.
If you shoot these motherfuckers...
In Colombia...
Ivan told me...
You could kill these motherfuckers that sniff glue
and smoke crack and shit.
You can't.
If you do, yeah.
Nobody's missing.
They're like the sewer people.
They are.
That was a great movie.
It was a really funny movie.
There was so many different things
throughout the movie, what it meant.
I like how...
When the guy comes up out of the toilet...
Who? Who leaves when the guy comes up out of the toilet?
That thing is freaky.
I'm just dropping it dude.
These little guys are...
Cheese coming up.
He's got like what do you call it, stitches over his eyes
and shit. He's like...
Dude, man.
Can a motherfucker have some peace?
Dude, you're in foreign country.
You may have a python come up through the toilet.
Oh my god.
Did you see that they're trying to fucking indoctrinate us to eat python meat?
Wait, what?
Dude, because there's so many pythons in Florida.
Florida.
They're starting to sell that into the south.
It's better than the fake shit.
The pythons are eating up all the things
that the gators normally ate.
And now they're going after gators.
I tried to get every girl I ever met to eat python meat.
Dude, I mean...
I don't even...
Don't even...
Keep that one to yourself.
I'm too late.
Next time just don't blurt it out.
At the shed.
Silly muffin.
There's a guy at the shed aquarium
who goes to like this place in South America
every year where the rains come down
and all these species of fish come
and they mount it over the water.
And they do research.
No, but he did have something going his toe
like that one time.
But he talks about like there's only
one toilet in the whole village.
And you go there
and he goes sometimes you shine a light
at night or you go there in a day
and there's a big fucking tarantula
just sitting in the toilet.
So you gotta go and see when it's not bare.
We're not around, take a quick shit.
Fuck the bucket.
Well that makes you fucking shit a lot quicker.
There's tarantulas.
The chaterer of Charlie comes in the bush.
You know what I mean?
I sit there with my Game Boy.
That's not how I want to go.
What's that Larry?
I sit and play Game Boy with my Tetris.
Not in the jungle.
Well listen, we were...
I wake up at five in the morning.
We're in Michigan. I'm a city slicker.
That's not the jungle.
I'm thinking... I'm in this bathroom.
Concrete jungle.
No, no, we were in the forest.
We were in upper fucking wilderness.
No, not UP.
Not that far.
Pretty close to it though.
I remember...
I'm taking a shit in this fucking...
outhouse thing.
It was like a little sink.
It was a regular bathroom.
Like a range.
Kind of though.
It was separate from the house.
It was the only thing.
It was a freestanding shit hole.
In a forest preserve.
No, no. It was a toilet.
It wasn't a...
But anyways, it didn't have a door and what not.
It didn't have a door.
Kind of voyeur's you were.
Anyways, I'm up and I'm taking a shit.
And everybody's sleeping.
It's like five in the morning and everyone's...
younger and there's a bunch of druggies.
Everyone's sleeping. I'm up.
I'm an old man. I'm going to use the bathroom and leisure.
And I'm sitting there playing my Game Boy.
And all of a sudden...
There's no door on it.
Right.
That's great.
Let me tell you the shit.
Listen, listen.
It's a room...
with a door.
No door and then the bathroom's stall.
I mean, this place keeps getting bigger and bigger every time you tell me about it.
It's about fucking...
8x12.
So you walk in there and then there's a stall with no door.
No door on either thing.
But no one's watching you.
You're not watching your shit.
So what's the point?
I didn't notice the cameras.
We weren't talking about what you were doing when you were working.
It wasn't Chuck Berry's.
I was just going to say it was Chuck Berry's truck place.
Right, camera, toilet.
Sponsored by Chuck Berry.
I didn't know that camera was up there.
I'm going to ding down.
Yeah.
The best is we always talk about when he farts.
Well, here's another thing.
Here's the other thing.
Let's not be smart Chuck though.
He married his wife when he was young
before he was even famous.
He stuck with her the whole fucking time.
But he was still doing bad stuff.
Yeah, but he was a family man.
He was a great guy.
Chuck.
I don't know about that.
The videotapes prove other why.
I don't want to disparage Chuck Berry
with King of Rock and Roll guitar.
Yeah, but I'll say with the videotapes
evidence he's a real pervert
and dirty mobile fucking.
Well, you know, you get money.
We all like to fart on hundreds every once in a while.
You get money.
You got money and you're driving around
and you're a rock star.
He also fucking got screwed
and fucking did like two years.
I may be for like taking a bitch
across state lines.
Another time he did a year or something
for taking a car.
Well, when the girl's 13
maybe I am thinking of Jack Johnson
but Chuck did a couple of stints
for it like he shouldn't have.
Like when he went to jail the one time
over some tax shit
he would pay his taxes probably.
But you know what, there was a lot of whiteies
of movie stars and rock stars
that were doing the exact same thing
and it came down to him.
Because he was black and probably in the south.
It was before BLM'd.
I don't want to talk about that guy.
That's horrible.
But this he played at the White House
for almost
like he played for Nixon, he played for Carter,
he played for fucking...
Listen, the Chuck Barrett...
Two days after he played at the White House...
John Lennon and Yoko.
And Yoko fucking starts to scream.
And the look on his face...
It's hilarious.
Brugate.
Or the time when she came out of the basket
through the sack.
No, the garbage bag.
That was the same show.
Poor Yoko.
She's so underrated, she's so talented.
Yeah.
And it's funny, she didn't break the Beatles up
and everybody likes to put that on her.
Well, here's what she did. Well, John Lennon was a total cock.
He just did whatever the fuck she said.
And McCarran is becoming one.
Yeah, but at the same time
he let this bitch push him around.
None of the other guys brought their fucking wives
and girlfriends to the fucking practice
and recordings.
The bitches stay home.
The boys are at the fucking studio.
What if they wanted to fucking do some crazy shit?
No, this guy's wife is there.
Maybe they were all banging Yoko.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
No.
That's a good idea.
I like when you're going with that.
That's another conspiracy that they were all banging Yoko.
Well, Yoko, yeah, she wasn't even there.
No.
She wasn't like Fang Fang or something.
No.
Sort of saying Fang Fang
We're on the fuck.
But at the same time
Fang Fang.
This fucking guy she was a honey pot too.
Oh my god.
She was his handler.
She was a honey pot.
And this guy is
and you know, she turned him
into a junkie and shit.
That was her fucking thing.
Yoko
all like Ornette Coleman and all the avant-garde like Lamont Young and shit and all the avant-garde
Jazz cats in New York at the time like she was part of that scene. So John Lennon thought she was cool
He actually thought wow, she's awesome. Something different. Yeah, that motherfucker must have been higher than a kite
Talent listen as ugly as could be
Put his hooks in a man just fucking what she did she must have known some tricks. Thanks a Chinese secret. Yeah
I don't know what she did to a man. She put a curse on his ass
Yeah, she did some poor fucking mark David Chapman can't even go see a concert. I know what the hell they keep on canceling
Oh, man, I want to hear this guy play
Really do he's got a story to tell yeah, he was hanging out with the fucking bushes or his family was a couple days before
Did the really yeah before fucking mark David Chapman shot down John Lennon don John Johnson
Yeah, my bad, but there's a listen. There's a lot of conspiracy shit that goes on
Look at everything we keep talking about it. And I mean
It is what I remember trying to get my mom to let me and my little brother stay home from school
Oh, but we can't go to school John Lennon got shot and she's like bullshit motherfucker
I don't care if you're dead. That's a cause to take off the school in the school. Yeah, well, you know
She let you watch the fake space shuttle explosion
Yeah, I watch it in class. Yeah, I saw that seven I was already out of school in the space shuttle
Yeah, oh no really
They follow Maron and they find them right the astronauts did not die
And you know what? That's just another thing that we believe in. Oh NASA is completely a three
What three to five billion dollars a year three ring circus for what for what?
For you know to take in three to five billion dollars a year
Why do they do they just sent that thing to the moon and it fell over at a bum leg?
Show us. They're like oh look at the shots from the moon. It's like my kid drew it
You know like anybody could just make up a shot like they took it like a fifth grade class
It says whoever draws the best picture is gonna get it on the news tonight. Yeah. Yeah, well
Kids got busy. The reason I don't believe in this stuff is because I've never been out there. That's why you know
Yeah, when I go to the moon, I'm not just being like I don't want to go at the truth
I'm not just being like this is what's there, but I would like to see it firsthand, right?
Well first off it says in the Bible that the firmament and all that other no but that the moon was you know
It's it's put up there for a night
Light at night. Yeah, the moon is lesser like it's like an alien like light bulb. Yeah, that's all it is to us
Yeah, it's what it is. They can't land on that
It helps control our tides and shit otherwise the water
Menstrual cycles water'd be out of control
Be rolling everywhere
What the hell why?
Tidesmine
Tidesmine?
All the way around there to check the tide
I can't see that motherfucker
Because you're Ray Charles
Gay Charles
Gay Charles, bless
You know Ray Charles is blind we had an hour and seven minutes
Oh man, oh man
All right everybody. Hey, I want to fucking thank you people for tuning in this is really
fucking amazing
Like, subscribe, follow us on YouTube
Subscribe on YouTube
Yeah, we hit our hundredth episode
We got Kiki and Bobby here
Less than a year
Yeah, bless you all for listening
And I want to say Bobby's
Musician extraordinaire
Besides all that other shit
And I want to thank Jesus God and I got to say
Don't forget about if you got a problem with your car or your southern regions or your
pet
You go to Tom's Free Clinic Automotive and Veterinarian Services
He's got your back, Tom's
And your friend
If your wiener is red and you think it's from getting head from the door
Tom's Free Clinic
Didn't you?
Yeah, you know what, shout out to our listeners man, like, follow, subscribe, like, and subscribe
We appreciate it, man
Also, we got a new sponsor
If you and your dog got a clogged log
Don't attack your dogs
Yeah, Tom is also very discreet
If you and your animal have matching diseases, he will not put it on the internet and shit
And he takes EBT now too
So if my dog has fleas and I got a cucumber stuck in my ass
He won't say anything
He doesn't have to be locked ass to ass, that's how it is
If you come in ass to ass with the cucumber
Then you'll get treated
Yeah
Dr. Tom on the scene
That's the only way you can get it
He's even got a special ambulance
You have to follow all the qualifications
Oh, Brian, he's got a certain career
And they put one of those big things on your head
Yeah, touch your own meter
Where's he with his hands?
We've talked about this before
That's it
Or the dog
Yeah
I love it
They put the cone on your head so you don't lick the dog's balls
I don't know about that
It's a joke
There reminds me of this one band I was in, this kid
Oh, man, why?
I'll give him a fake name, this name might have been like Don
Or something like that
That's probably real name
He did, look at him, he's like that was his real name
Oh, wait, that was his name
He could come up with another name
Let's call him Mon
Let's say this guy's name but here's his real one
Yeah, it was one
Yeah
Let's say this guy's name
He's a sneaky flyer
Anyways, he would do very weird shit with his dog
That's what we got to
You know, those pun bra kids with all those tattoos
You gotta fucking watch them, they never know what they're gonna do
Oh, boy
Obviously, things with the animals a little bit
I mean, no, I don't know
You know, do you know Larry?
That's what that sounds like, a guilt of admission
Or admission of guilt
Guilt of admission
You know what I'm talking about, don't you?
We'll just say he let the dog up on his butt
Who let the dogs out?
At my nuts
This guy's got a lot of peanut butter in his cabinet
I don't like that
No, chunky
That's a real dog purve
You gotta use chunky
The dog really has to work in
I remember the first time someone handed me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Like an adult when I was a kid and it had chunky peanut butter
I was like, what the fuck is, what the fuck?
I didn't like that shit
I'm like, no, I don't need actual real peanuts
I need sugar down, fake fucking peanut butter
He's like, he killed his weak kids now
I was like, what the fuck is this?
And then you know, I was forced to eat this fucking thing
Get all the peanut butter and jelly and kids into a rooster
Wiping them on the peanut butter
Just throw their hand with you
Their heads are gonna explode
Alright, now that we got rid of them
Let's worry about people that lack toast and tolerance
Who's next?
I need fucking Dean's milk
Alright, shut it down
Alright, yeah, thank you for tuning in, you guys
You guys are fucking amazing
Tune in to Catechronic
Yeah, check out Catechronic
It's a band
For everywhere
We're gonna press the button now, we love you, goodbye
I'm gonna use these glasses off to press the button