We're at work.
Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.
Larry and Needles.
Larry and Needles show.
All right, everybody.
Welcome to the Larry and Needles show.
I'm Larry.
I'm Needles.
I couldn't play our normal intro song today
because my computer's fucked up.
So that's all right, though.
I mean, technology has surpassed us, right?
What else are we going to do?
Hey, it's nice to treat him to a live opening
every once in a while, right?
Once you start plugging that thing into your bomb
and then downloading all your funnuck thoughts.
Yeah, I'll tell you, that was how we did our very, very
first episode was live.
It was live, yeah.
Because we didn't know how to.
Live from the lab.
We didn't have the shit all right.
Jesus, we barely know what to do right now.
It was fantastic.
No, not a heater or a joint.
I know, dude.
I'm just sitting right here.
I'm like a double dip, potato chip.
Oh, you got something on your eyebrow, too.
Mm.
I thought you quit smoking.
So I wrote it almost here.
I did.
You know what, you're right.
Oh, what do you call it?
So I watched Sound of Freedom last night.
You guys seen it?
Yeah.
It's on Amazon.
Oh, yeah.
I watched it on Prime.
Holy Lord.
It made me cry.
Yeah, I'm going to admit that.
I did cry at one point in the movie.
It is courageous that the government tries to red tape
this guy, and he has to go on his own as an agent of God.
Because the most impactive thing that they said was that no
children of God should be bought or sold.
Yeah.
Well, wait.
I don't think it was sold.
Check this out.
This is one movie that I actually saw.
I know.
I saw this one.
I know, and I'm so disappointed because I could have come up
with so much better.
Yeah, started talking about all that.
But yeah, it is crazy the way that this guy did this.
Like, he saw a news article, and he's like, hey, maybe we
should start a pedophile club.
Yeah.
And then they get the island and.
Kind of like Epstein.
What the?
Well, I mean, obviously, there's a correlation between the
both of them.
Pieces of shit.
Well, wait, wait, here, Senator Ruppjip, the main thing,
though, is this guy's wife was like, you know, they had a
lot of.
She's amazing.
Well, how many kids they had at home?
Seven.
She's like, you have to go save these children.
Is that a mission from God?
Wait, and then this guy, he gave up his pension when he
had, like, what?
10 months away.
10 months left of working.
No, I think it might have been weeks even.
No, it was a month.
It was 10 weeks or 10 months.
I don't know.
It was 10.
He just, he's like, it doesn't matter.
He's like.
I don't give a fuck.
Yeah, he's like, I got a mission from God.
Yeah.
And it's like, man, I tip my head to that guy.
Especially having a family like that and just be like, your
wife is like, go do that.
The best part is he murdered a guy.
But they're like, ah, he saved the girl.
You know what I mean?
Like, he had to murder the scorpion.
Yeah.
And he got him out of there.
He got that girl out of there.
That guy needed to get murdered.
Well, I mean, like, there's the guy that the next guy is not
going to take over.
Well, there they are.
But hey, but that's the cycle.
So that dude definitely needed killing.
No, he definitely did.
But there's another guy that's going to be more power
hungry than him that's going to come over and take over.
But it was a great movie.
And I would recommend watching it.
It's on Amazon right now.
And it was very bold.
It's a wake up call to people.
And it's disturbing that all these news channels and everybody
wanted to shut it down.
They want to put the gabbash on that.
Disney bought it.
Here's some crazy shit on the shelf.
Yeah.
And here's some other crazy shit.
Sherry was telling me that they were telling people
at the theater, oh, our air conditioning doesn't work.
Oh, yeah, they were.
Don't come.
And they're like, fuck it.
We don't care.
And then they'd show up in the air conditioning
and lobby was fine.
Every other theater, the air conditioning was fine.
It only was fucked up in the exact theater
that's showing this movie.
And you would think people want to make money off of this,
but they're so help and because I'm hiding the truth.
Well, because they're fucking pedophiles.
And then this is what ties in.
That's why they're hiding it.
Shit that comes out.
Oh, dude, the abstinence stuff, the stuff at the border
with the children being handed off with no papers
to people they don't know when they say that there's a mom
and a dad coming to get them.
Or there's a social worker lady.
And then it's just the Mavato.
Yeah.
The grim reaper, grim reaper.
Exactly.
But that ties into, OK, so what has Trump done wrong
with January 6?
I'm so confused on this.
What did he do?
I mean, they're saying he incited a resurrection.
Well, technically, he didn't do anything.
Insurrection, I mean.
Insurrection.
My bad.
He was trying to resurrect.
Yeah, he was.
The only resurrection he had was later that night
with his wife.
Ivanka or Valania.
Yeah.
The hot one.
Big Mike.
No, man.
He's not that hot.
But here's the deal.
He's kind of gross.
Don't you think it's crazy that, OK, so, oh, Biden.
What do you call it?
That's basically old Biden.
Yeah, it really is.
I mean, he just took over.
But don't you think it's crazy that, so,
they're saying all of this stuff about Trump,
this insurrection that he incited, rioting,
and all of this stuff.
But then we find out that Bill Clinton flew over 50 times
to Jesse Epstein's Island.
And nothing is going to be done to him.
We have proof that Bill Clinton, besides the proof we had
that he used a lady as a human door in the Oval Office.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And the other two women that came out and the illegitimate kid
that he probably has.
Yeah, I mean, there's so much stuff that's
crossed over the rub.
There's a black guy going around that kind of looks like a black
version of Bill Clinton that claims he's his son.
Nice.
I mean, he's a divi.
Well, dude, even that Virginia in Epstein.
The Guffrey.
Virginia Guffrey.
And the deposition transcripts talks about how, oh, Bill likes
him young.
I mean, come on, who says that about anybody unless they like
them young?
I mean, you could speculate about it.
And it might be like Larry likes him young.
Hey, and you'd be like, I really don't believe that.
When you're going on a trip, how many times?
Over 50 times with four secret service agents.
Yeah, Bill's like, I'm setting the record for this place.
I was talking about this in the chat today,
that it's got to suck to be at an underage orgy and Stephen
Hawking runs your foot over.
That really has to kill the vibe of the party, doesn't it?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like you're all gung-ho.
Damn it, Stephen, get the fucking wheelchairs out of there.
I am sorry.
Your ass is like the Perithium Filagon or whatever.
It's a black hole that no one will ever explore.
I wanted a closer look.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And I don't blame them.
I have money.
Yeah.
Fuck your foot.
This guy's getting more pussy than a fucking Central Station toilet seat.
Who do you think, Stephen Hawking?
Yeah, he's like, I don't know about that.
He cheated on her.
He's not getting any more pussy than a fucking toilet seat.
Stephen Hawking, the guy that's...
Stephen Hawking.
Yeah.
Oh man.
He was a dirty bastard.
Yeah.
Well, how does he even fuck or anything?
Well, with his dick, how else?
What do you mean?
Honestly, I don't know.
He looks pretty fucked up.
If you give him enough Viagra, it might work.
I think he's a voyeur.
I don't know.
But the problem is, yeah, but also someone's got to talk his meat though.
But I don't think he feels it though.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I'm sure he's making him tug tug tug tug.
Yeah, well, then they're making him do some weird stuff.
That guy's got to have some proclivities if you got to use your other senses because
you can't use your meat.
Dude, if I was in a wheelchair like that...
I would push you right down the street down the hill.
Shit on my face.
That's all you have.
Let me see your model.
That's all I can say.
Yeah.
Spread your cheeks.
This does not compute.
Does he have like those pool things where they lift them out or do they have like weekend
at Bernie's where they're holding them up at the orgy and they're just like, moon milling
his wiener.
Like you have to be in unison like the Rockettes, you know, with the three of them doing it.
Or is there someone standing behind them pushing them back in the corner?
Yeah.
I didn't see that, you know.
Oh, dude, you would love it.
You never saw weekend at Bernie's.
That's great.
Listen, listen, these guys sell motorcycles to the Colombians.
Really?
And I swear to God, they are the worst Hondas you'll ever see.
Okay, they want to buy 250s, but they're only 125cc.
So, so these Colombians get pissed.
Well, yeah, it's like when they, when they try to sell plutonium to the Libyans and back
to the future.
Have you ever seen that?
Oh, we'll get into that in a minute.
So then basically what happens is these guys don't want to buy the motorcycles.
So they have to buy these roosters to do cock fighting.
Get the fuck out of here.
No, I mean, serious, dude.
And there's this guy, little Jimmy, that he's a rooster.
And he's like the best one that they have.
Is he?
But little Jimmy doesn't like to fight.
And that's the problem, but he's a rooster.
So I mean, he has to buy.
He has to buy.
I mean, he's gonna try and force them.
I mean, listen, oh man, you're the only guy who eats cock in this room.
So you know that.
He's not good for killing.
Sorry, I have to fuck you now.
I mean, but his name is actually in the word.
So far, the Bill Clinton is not going to be charged with anything.
Well, he'll go to hell.
He's been shown is there's no proof.
Alessna, there's no proof.
There's the flight logs.
There's another person saying me and Mr. X were talking.
There's no proof.
There's fucking.
He gave me two ad-aboys and I will say that I'm going to tell this really quick that
Mr. X and I were talking about all the migrants flooding here.
I said, hopefully we'll get a good fucking soccer team.
Yeah, fuck soccer.
Anyways, here's the other thing though, they have boxes and boxes of hard drives.
Video tapes.
Hard drives.
I didn't even have to tell him that this guy was a Mossad agent.
He was totally compromised by the Mossad.
Her dad was her dad was in the Mossad.
Elaine Maxwell's.
I mean, come on.
Well, have you ever listened to Whitney Webb?
Yes, we have.
Dude, like if there's anyone that knows her shit about Epstein, it's her.
Well, she was saying how there's basically like two fractions.
Really?
Factions.
Yeah, fractions.
Here we go.
Two fractions.
Half you're an idiot.
Yeah.
Well, two factions of the Jews.
Well, yeah, there's a few.
Hasidics and then there's the technically the other ones, the idea.
Yeah, I don't know.
It goes deep.
The Hasidics are the hardcore one.
But she goes deep on this stuff and she knows it.
Well, but it's all written and history is written in front of us.
All we have to do is look at it.
Thank God she breaks it down, right?
Yeah, I love it.
I love.
Oh, did you hear what Trump's girlfriend before Melania, her name was?
What the?
Don't grab a lot of puss.
Don't quote me on our first name.
Man, Cecilia.
But it was like smart fart or something.
Her last name.
Come on, man.
She's Norwegian, but her last name is far.
Did you hit your head coming in?
No, it was like.
But you know, it wasn't spelled F-A-R-T.
No, it was.
That's the weird thing was it wasn't like, ooh, horrible name.
I mean, she was smoking.
Hot?
Yeah.
Dude, dropped it.
Dude.
She was Norwegian.
Oh, man.
Trump didn't bang dogs like, well, first of all, Obama's gay.
So he was.
It was funny.
Jones was talking about this, how Trump gets fixated on one woman.
He's very.
Um, he's.
You see, dude.
Yeah, he's like, you know, he's purell and shit like that.
Yeah.
Like all of this stuff, like he's not a Philander.
No, he's not.
He doesn't stray from the pack story.
Daniels know I'll give it to him if there is because they always say there's a p tape
with Trump, which there's no.
But I'm just saying that would be hilarious.
Like, dude peeing on a chair.
Well, that's one of his jokes.
That's one of his jokes.
He's like, at least Melania knows the p tape ain't true because she knows I'm a germaphobe.
Yeah, exactly.
And when he was with her, Stormy Daniels was a lot younger.
Yeah.
She was smoke show.
She wasn't the washed out fucking rag that she is.
She's got some oats.
Yeah.
She's got some oats.
Some old ass titties.
She's got some fucking hard miles, too.
She got what?
Some fucking hard miles, too.
That's for sure.
No, I thought she was doing porn before Trump.
Yeah.
Well, you know, the other thing too.
Listen, man, every woman and every man has been a woman been rode hard and put away
wet.
Oh, you know, some some more than others, though.
That's the thing.
Okay.
I mean, that's just a broad statement, but I'll go with it.
Well, Stormy Daniels might be on that list.
She's a porn star.
I mean, her job is to suck man.
Her job is to suck God.
Okay.
Well, if you want to get real crass, I don't appreciate you doing that.
She's the chief to the scenes with the headshot.
The chief to do.
I don't know.
I don't know anything about her.
Yeah.
Ron Gerrman.
I don't know anything about her.
Yeah.
He's not dead, but yeah, he's dead.
You know, I mean, fuck, he's dead man.
You deserve karma, right?
Yeah.
Well, you know, you can't even remember.
Imagine being a porn star.
You can't even remember and jerk off to it.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
What a curse.
It's a curse.
And how does he not?
It might be syphilis.
How does he not have syphilis?
She looks like walking syphilis.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, he looks like every.
He looks like a beaver.
He reminds me of beaver.
Man, I fucking sweet shout out.
I mean, and he does.
He does have that.
Yeah, exactly.
He's got that.
That.
That's the thing with that lispy thing to him.
I mean, I have a list.
So I understand.
But hey, well, did you know that Trump actually booted Epstein from Mar-a-Lago?
Yeah, because he was hitting on the staff.
He did that right away.
Some member's daughter.
Yeah.
Some member's daughter.
Yeah, some member's daughter felt uncomfortable when he was like,
Lay there, motherfucker.
Yeah, no, he.
But that's what they say.
Trump don't stick.
He don't stand for that shit.
And if you have Trump's back.
The thing I like about Trump is like, if you have his back, he will.
Loyalty.
Have your back.
You think you know what I like about Trump?
Well, he's not going to fucking be bad.
No, he's old school.
You know what I like about Trump is that he shorted all the unions and didn't pay all
those contractors.
I like that.
That's capitalism.
It's finest.
And the motherfucker's gone bankrupt eight times.
You know what I mean?
He's a smart motherfucker, man.
Which I can say nobody else does.
Right?
Yeah.
I mean, who else is going to gamble on America?
Do you have the money to do it?
I'm sure he's done shady business deals.
No, he's shady.
You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a shady business deal.
That's the thing.
I mean, when you're in New York, technically, I would say that for real estate, he might
be the king of New York.
He has a building with his name on it in multiple cities.
Well, I don't want that.
I'm not that big of a narcissist.
All over the place.
It's upsetting multiple states.
But I'm not that big of a narcissist where I would want to be in that position.
Just like, who the fuck wants to be president?
When you're a kid, you'd be like, oh, I want to be the president.
I want to be astronaut.
First of all, space is fake, bitch.
Every fucking guy that wants to be an astronaut.
Yeah.
Explore some asses.
Listen, stop with the gay jokes.
Everybody.
Female asses.
Everybody that wants to be president.
You found the big hole.
Is a narcissism, right?
When I say something gay about Larry, just insert.
Well, you fucking listen, dude, man.
What?
What are you talking about?
We'll speak.
You say something, and then you ask a question pretty much, and then you fucking do it right
there.
Larry, you just gotta get up and slap him.
I'm gonna.
Good fucking luck, dude.
I let you smoke you out, bitch.
Now listen, bitch, anybody that would be the president to begin with has got to be a narcissist
through the fucking rules.
So what do you expect?
You just don't become the president.
You gotta be pretty much a narcissist to think you are.
You gotta be a ass kisser.
You want to have the power of position, and that's what you want to do.
You want people, like Kiki just said, you want people to kiss your ass, you want people
to bow down to you, you want to fucking use a cigar on them in the oval office.
I mean, well, that's most men, but think about that, though.
Nothing's gonna happen to fucking Billy Boy Clinton.
Nothing.
The guy is known to have a proclivity for women, and I don't know their age group.
Well, and honestly, it's like, the ones who are women don't matter.
It's young, they said young.
Like, well, Michael Witzke wasn't young.
Well, hey, well, if she's 18.
But she was there, man, and you know, if you can get a blowjob every fucking minute.
If she's 18.
And you're fucking thing.
I mean, I wouldn't care how old she was.
The Kennedy's fucking blew through.
It's like Trump said.
When somebody asked him about Bill Clinton, like, oh, Bill's a great guy.
He's got a lot of problems coming after him.
He's a great guy.
But everybody, everybody that talks about Bill Clinton is they love the guy.
He's a great guy.
He's probably so fun.
He's got his own saxophone.
Yeah.
He's got his own sinew hall.
Check this out.
I have a jazz.
He's the guy you want to party with.
I have a jazz CD.
But not your daughter to party with.
No.
Oh, well.
I said you want to party with him.
You know what your daughter to party with.
I can't see these the press blows with Clinton playing tenor sax with some fucking Swedish jazz band.
I thought it was him bowing in Monica Lewinsky's bottle.
No, no.
I said it's doing lines on the cover.
And I have the CDs somewhere up in my collection.
I'm sure they fucker might be worth something, you know, back when they sold CDs.
I mean, it sounds intriguing.
Yeah.
And it shows him on the front and he's got sunglasses.
Yeah, yeah.
He was a fucking great guy.
He's very charisma.
And he's tearing it up on the.
You know, like there was no.
Who is his brother?
I think we have a bill bill.
No, no, no, no.
Bob, Bob.
He's Bill.
Yeah.
I know I was thinking of Billy.
Billy Carter.
Yeah.
When you beer, Billy beer.
And then what do you call it?
No, but what the hell's Billy's Clinton's brother's name?
I don't know.
It's a weird.
But yeah, he was in the air.
I found him.
No, no, no.
Now we're digging deep.
Yeah, he was an animal.
We just get away with this.
You have money.
You have power.
I mean, the guy started in Arkansas with cocaine drops.
Yeah, it's fucking well documented cocaine from all.
What's his name?
The Flyer.
Tom Cruise.
Yeah, that played.
Who did he play?
I was just on the tip of my tongue.
And he got that guy got murdered outside of halfway house.
Nice.
Yeah.
It was pretty crazy.
Yeah, I think he kept doing the coke runs after.
Yeah, I asked him what happened was that these kids walked upon a drop and they had the murder.
Those are the first people on the Clinton kill list.
The first people they found them on the train tracks and they got hit by train.
Yeah, the first people they died of died of Arkansas.
Okay.
But they were on the fucking train tracks and these people had them murked.
Dude, that's what I'm very seal.
Very seal.
Yeah, yeah.
Woo.
That's another joint.
That's what I'm waiting for.
I'm waiting for how many more people are going to get added to the Clinton kill.
I don't think they're doing it anymore.
I mean, they got it.
They really can't.
Well, shit, they just fucking killed Epstein, man.
I would say that they didn't.
That was 2019.
That's not recent.
There's nobody who knows about who they have killed.
I mean, the best is one fucking Obama chef died and then he had tape on his hands and
a black eye and all this shit.
People like, what did you do to golf?
Yeah, you've seen those pictures.
No.
Yeah, they have pictures of Obama's hands.
We're all taped up like he was beating the fuck out of someone.
He was more taped up like that.
He had tape.
He had tape on his fingers that was like.
Because he was wounded from punching a guy in the teeth and shit.
I think he understands that.
Yeah, well, it wasn't taped up for boxing gloves.
It was bandages.
Well, he wasn't taped up like he was fucking.
No, not bandages.
No, who?
No, Obama was just walking.
No, no, Obama's cooked.
The chef.
No, he drowned.
Yeah.
A black man on a paddle board.
What are you expecting, man?
Obama was the one with tape.
That is not the most ironic death.
So this African-American gentleman went out on a paddle board and then drowned.
Yeah.
I mean, that sounds like a punchline or a punchline doing a show.
And then ironically, supposedly he was an excellent swimmer.
No, that's what they said.
They did.
Well, I mean, they just throw that caveat in just to make you help to get off the trail of it.
Well, they said that and then, dun-dun-dun.
Yeah, exactly.
He had a midget on a little drum kit.
Exactly.
Which is hilarious.
And the funny thing is also they're saying that Stephen Hawking liked midgets.
Who doesn't like midgets?
Well, yeah, I mean, come on.
I don't like him in that way.
When you're talking to three of us, they just saw midget wrestling.
Yeah, and you know what?
I was misled too because he told me there would be chicks wrestling too.
I was misled also.
Okay.
Okay, so I mean, I just do.
I think we all, we all like drooling there, Larry.
We all have ropes.
You know what?
Oh, no, I cannot complain.
Yeah, okay.
It was very fun.
It was still well-complained.
I'm not complaining, bitch.
Like an old, long night on a long island or...
I just thought it would be like some slutty midget chicks too.
Oh, I mean, yeah.
Well, we all, we were all hoping.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I mean, you have a wife.
Well, I wasn't going to fuck any of them or marry them or nothing.
Do you have to give her a quarter of your stuff if you're paying a midget?
Instead of half.
Yeah.
Yeah, right?
How's that work?
That's it.
She gets a quarter of your record collection and only a couple of good records.
Only a couple of good records.
Or a quarter of everything, Harry.
Nah.
Well, that's about it.
You did not mean it.
She has to get a quarter of your scooter.
No way you can't split.
You can't even ride that.
You can't.
That would be pretty funny, though.
Oh, shit.
Dude, I'd love...
Actually, that's what I want to see.
Some hot little people.
Putin on the front, Larry in the middle, Kim Jong-un with their shirts off on Larry's scooter.
That's what I'm down.
Someone's got to be on the handlebars too.
Oh, man.
Right in the handlebars.
Oh, Fauci.
Yeah, with his legs open.
I get some stirrups put on there.
You guys are running into bumps that just say AZT on them.
Oh, shit.
But let's see.
I got something I wanted to talk about.
Let's give him something.
No, that's hilarious.
The FDA looking into reports of hair loss, suicidal thoughts, and people using popular drugs for diabetes and weight loss.
What?
FDA looking into reports of hair loss, suicidal thoughts, and people, SSRIs, using popular drugs for diabetes and weight loss.
Your thoughts, Larry.
Quickly.
Your thoughts.
I'm telling you my thoughts.
The ozempic shit is the weight loss and diabetic shit.
That's not your thoughts.
And the SSRI shit is, I don't like that stuff because I know so many people that committed suicide and it's fucking horrible.
Your thoughts stink.
Kiki, your thoughts.
Yeah.
I mean, I'll read it again.
You have to fucking reiterate what I'm going to say here.
I mean, are you really?
Why do the thoughts have to be so quick?
Well, because you're on my talk show all of a sudden, so please stop.
Okay, so do you really think the FDA has our best interest?
No.
I think that proves 100%.
No.
Kiki kisses the ass of any fucking acronym in this country.
I love Fauci.
I mean, you love Fauci.
You guys should kiss.
That's our next t-shirt.
Kiki kissing Fauci.
Tongue and all.
Maybe you guys should be toning the ozempic.
Is it ozempic?
It's just common weight loss drugs.
Oh my God.
But isn't it funny though that the people put all this faith, oh, hey, I'm going to start taking weight loss drugs because I don't know how to work out and stop eating.
I was just going to say, how about stop eating, Fady?
But it's not just common weight loss drugs.
What it is is a diabetes drug and it decided-
How do you know what he Wilford Brimley was?
Well, we need a comment from him.
Anyways, the side effect was weight loss.
So now all these people are just taking it that don't even really need it just to lose weight.
Yeah, but it's not about that.
It's about the suicidal thoughts and the hair loss and all these things.
Dude, I remember looking-
You're fucked up.
What, sitting on TV, watching an ad for a fucking pill from Big Pharma, and it said, ass leakage.
You could be sitting on the couch and your ass will start leaking.
And you're not even a fanook.
And it doesn't say ass leakage, it just says leakage.
No, anal leakage.
Oh yeah, they do say anal.
You know what the sad thing is?
It's like for them to actually have to put that list as a thing.
Some people have the complaint about it.
I'm sure it has to hit a certain number before they-
Yeah, exactly.
It's like that SDA putting plastics in our food and rat shit and all this other stuff that the government is doing.
Exactly.
And the globalists that want us to fucking eat crickets and shit.
There's like a hundred people with their ass leaking before they admit it.
More than that.
Yeah, why not?
Well, because what happens is it takes the fat and it liquefies it.
Oh, is that what happens?
Well, in some circumstances it does.
It turns the ass leakage.
So say you take your stomach and you eat a fucking-
It's not normal.
And you eat a cheese steak.
You know what I mean?
And you bring something upon yourself because you still are a fat person.
But you're taking something to counteract the fatness because you can't stop being fat.
But doesn't that give them ass leakage anyways?
Well, yes.
But not as much as when you take this drug.
You ever see a big and rob when you see the man-pon?
Yeah, because he had chicken wings.
So Larry-
I like this show called Big and Rob with Rob Beardak and his big, huge black security guard.
And they were all this whole Larry.
It was a good show.
And if Rob was a good guy too.
DC Shoes was on.
Or that's how he started DC Shoes.
He's the guy.
And this dude, Big Black, went to Chanel West Coast.
That's the other one.
Nice.
But he might need a bunch of chicken wings.
But he was a big dude.
He was like 6'3", 6'4", 3 on his arm.
3 on his arm.
And his ass would leak from eating with chicken wings.
So he would take paper napkins and put them in his underwear.
He called them the man-pon.
It was a man-pon.
That is fucking.
I mean, isn't that so bad?
But doesn't that tell you something?
Yeah, you know something's gonna happen.
Okay, listen, if I do fentanyl, I know what's gonna happen.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
If I bang a chick with herpes, the odds are I know what's gonna happen, right?
Yeah, yeah.
It's like Jesus.
So there's not that much like this circle of odds thing.
Like if you dip your toe in the water.
Yeah.
I just watched a stupid Instagram video.
I know, you're a fucking whore.
Two big heifers.
How big heifers?
Sounds good to me.
Two double sandwiches short of 350?
No, no, they weren't short of 350.
They weren't.
But they had to get, they got 10 pizzas for the ride home.
Like a mukbang.
To go home.
And they're sitting there just chowing.
They're like, man, we got home and we only had two left for the family.
For the family?
Yeah.
What did the family look like?
I don't know.
They didn't buy all 10 of the TVs.
How do they all fit in the trailer?
They were planning on each other.
Oh, they knew they were gonna eat a bunch, but like we'd better save some for the family.
Yeah, like you ever see that movie Fatso?
Oh yeah.
You see that?
You have to see it with Dom Delouis.
I saw it at the show.
Dom Delouis.
I was a kid with my friend Mitchell.
I was gonna say Hasseme Center at Dom Delouis.
60s, late 60s, early 70s.
He goes to pick up Chinese food and he's a Fatso.
The movie's called Fatso, which is amazing.
Oh, it's Dom Delouis.
Yeah, he's young.
There's two other guys that are also bigger Fat Assers.
Yeah, but here's the deal though.
So the family orders Chinese food and on the way back, he eats the majority of it and then
brings it into the house and his mama, which is like this, he's an Italian.
So I mean this fucking Gundaloon can't even control his eating.
You know what I mean?
These guys have two cannolis in each hand.
At one point.
And his little mama, he goes upstairs and she orders the rest of the fucking Chinese food.
You know?
I ate it mama.
You know what I mean?
Then she pulls out the wooden spoon that's been stirred in sauce all day and she beats his
fat Italian ass.
Hey, how about a scene with the Gundaloon?
I like this movie.
It's hilarious.
And that's not even fake.
There's a scene where they can't control themselves so they gotta chain all the fucking
cabinets in the refrigerator with big, thick chains.
Yeah, like an animal.
Like he's King Kong.
He's trying to open it in shit.
It was fucking funny.
It was fucking funny because he was probably on cocaine and other drugs at that point.
Oh yeah.
I mean I feel bad for the people that can't control their eating.
I don't know if it is a disease or something where they just can't stop.
You know what?
It's just an addiction thing.
You're never full.
I got addiction.
Oh dude, I have so many mis- I have like-
I'll tell you what.
I fall short all the time.
It's an American problem.
Well yeah, you don't go to fucking Uganda and find someone who's lactose intolerant.
You don't go to Rwanda and not catch AIDS or get fucking gunned down by an AK-47 or something.
Well I mean now you're just speculating.
If you try to bang a chick, a hooker, what'd you say to Rwanda?
I'm sure the chances are that.
And if you want to get shot at an AK-47 or Rwanda, I'm sure you don't have to go that far.
No, it's really easy.
Yeah, I mean you know you could probably swing a dead cat without hitting a guy at an AK-47.
Shit, a guy.
There's probably monkeys walking around shooting at you.
Whoa, Jesus.
Why do you gotta get racist?
Oh, why?
Did you ever see that video?
I know, I know.
I know what you mean.
They give the monkey shit.
I know, but that was just low hanging.
I know it was.
That was Kiki's name in high school.
Low hanging fruit is nickname.
Nice.
But yeah, so the FDA is bad.
Don't take pills.
I don't think I'll go to the fucking...
The doctor unless I break a bone.
Rock and roll is good.
Something like that.
If you host Whippy Goldworth called out fake Epstein Docs naming hers an associate.
Don't talk shit about her name after she says that they should be very careful.
Yeah, no, here's what she said.
Here's what's funny.
Bring on the documents, bring on the documents.
Hang every motherfucker on there.
Oh wait, I'm on there.
That's fake shit.
Dude, I would have banged Whippy back in the day.
Ted Danson did, so I didn't feel good.
He did Blackface too, which is hilarious.
But no, all of a sudden Whippy Goldberg fucking Whippy Goldberg.
Whippy Goldberg.
Dude, she looks like the predator.
She's horrible.
She really does, man.
She looks like an overweight predator.
Well, exactly.
I mean, she looks like a predator in his prime.
Not to bring, you know, I got a...
A menopausal predator.
I have a...
And she's a fur trader too.
Sorry Larry, keep going.
It's alright.
It's alright, man.
It's not serious.
Well, I asked you to go.
You have the platform.
The floor is yours, Larry.
It's not serious.
Don't be like JB Pritzker to get caught on the island either.
If nobody's talking about that.
Pritzker family was involved in that also.
Oh yeah, it's better.
Oh yeah.
And Marriott too.
I didn't know.
Do you want to say something, Larry?
Yeah, what is it?
Oh man, maybe it's the wind or something.
I'm going to go shut that vent.
Okay.
Trying to figure out what's so noisy.
No, I was just going to say I got a Rolling Stones album.
And it's a live thing.
Jesus Christ.
Whippy Goldberg introduces the band and I'm like...
Oh, there's a time.
It made me think that the Rolling Stones are a bunch of fucking assholes.
Yeah, they sold their souls to the devil.
Wait, was this like recent?
No.
It's from like the 90s.
No.
I'm sure they all gangbanger.
Yeah.
The whopster.
She's, you know what, listen, her...
Maybe the antelope.
And you know what, I'm going to say some words in a minute that probably women are not going
to like.
Okay, but I'm just going to tell you right now, if you want to fast forward about 15-30
seconds, the view is filled with cunts.
Yeah.
You don't know what they're talking about.
Yeah, no, I don't think the most people know what they're saying.
We don't know what we're talking about.
You know what I mean?
Like, they have a platform.
They have a platform.
Here's the thing, when they spit in venom, I don't want anyone to go to prison or die
or anything.
No, not at all.
I'm not going to threaten you.
They do.
I just want those people to wake up.
Listen, I'm not a pedophile.
Are you a pedophile?
Jesus Christ, no.
Where?
I got a beef with that guy.
Yeah.
I'm going to put Jesus in a chocolate.
Sorry, Larry.
Yeah, but here's the thing.
Oh, Larry, are you a pedophile?
No.
Okay, that's awesome.
That's great people to see that.
That's why they act the way they do though, because they are.
It's like Bill Clinton's never been like, I'm not a pedophile.
And that's why Whoopi Goldberg was there at Jeff Einstein's fucking thing.
Epstein.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, I love it.
Because she's a fur trader, like you said, and that's he specialized in fur.
Man, who did the Who Perpetrated the 9-11 attacks?
Come on.
Say it.
The Mossad.
No.
Who's the guy in the cave?
Say his name.
Um, Sam Bin Laden.
No, he got it right.
No, you know what the sad thing is, like if you, if you, if you, if you wanted to, if
you wanted to view and ask them is like, are you guys okay with pedophiles?
And like it would take them time to answer that.
Yeah, they would have a hard time.
They would.
They'd be like, it should be a very easy come dry.
Well, yeah.
I mean, it should be, it should take a person more than a split second.
No, it's hang.
Yeah, you want to have some kind of child?
No, hang up.
Like, I'm fine, dude.
No, like that's what, I'd be fine.
We'll just like that public deaths.
Like, we'll just like this.
Paper view we've talked about.
Just like cloning gay, the president of Harvard.
Oh man, I don't trust a black lady with the short haircut.
No, no, I don't.
I really don't.
Except Grace Jones.
Grace Jones was out.
Grace Jones.
That's it.
You don't like this pussy?
Yeah, just chokes that bitch out with her legs.
And Murphy's like, I'm gay.
No, I know a gay man.
That man's gay.
Yeah, he's gay.
And she was a James Bond fucking villain.
Oh yeah.
And she choked, she choked Christopher Walken.
With her legs, right?
Yeah, that's what he liked.
That's your claim.
Dude, that black lady's thighs.
See, we gotta do another take.
That's like Steamboat sniffing shoes at the bowling alley.
Now who was the chick?
Grace Jones?
Yeah.
Oh, great.
You've never seen the James Bond movie?
No.
Dude, okay, so here's to you.
No, I'm not gonna lie.
No, I'm putting you talking about it.
No, this is real.
She was, oh, she's still smoking.
I remember Grace Jones.
This guy gets mad at the other guy because he killed his goat.
All right?
Dude, I'm being serious, Larry.
Don't laugh at me.
So then he goes to the town captain.
And the town captain knows Grace Jones.
Because she runs a tugboat in the city.
Oh, in the city.
Yeah, in the city, dude.
Where else is the fucking shore?
You know what I mean?
They have to have a harbor in the city.
Okay.
I didn't know the city was on.
Listen, don't diminish my story.
She's a mean tugboat captain, too.
Exactly.
And let me tell you, Kiki would like to get a tugboat from her.
That's for sure.
She looks like a puma in the night.
Well, she's gotta be fucking...
She does.
90 years old by now.
But you're named Boise, dude?
Black Don't Crack, baby.
That's true.
Hey, speaking of that, what's David Bowie's wife's name?
Eamon.
Oh, her, too.
Oh, yeah.
Me too, her, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, me too, her, too.
Yeah.
But the problem is, she sold off all this shit right after he died.
Really?
Yeah.
She liquidated Bowie.
And not in a good way.
Man, that probably could have...
You could have won.
You probably could have gotten a guitar or something, man.
Yeah, I'm sure you got $60,000.
Is that what you were selling?
No, you gotta send Bowie, you gotta send David Bowie original that he played.
Now you gotta sell some kidneys for that shit.
He's only got two.
Now he's getting into child trafficking.
Just to harvest Oregon.
Just for a guitar.
Yeah, Bowie guitar.
Just to get one guitar.
How many children would equivalent to one guitar?
So let's say, so in that movie, I was doing the math, which is crazy.
So they gave him $100,000 for freedom.
For 50, so just $2,000 a child.
That's like dirt cheap.
Like what the fuck?
Whoa, slow down, Epstein.
But that's what I'm saying.
That's fucked up.
Friend to Epstein.
Slow down, Jeff Jr.
Yeah, but like, holy fuck.
Yeah, isn't that crazy?
Well, and that's not like this was 20 years ago.
No, and the most fucked up thing was how they put it in the container boat and shit.
And that's what they were saying when those containerships were all backed up in San Francisco and shit.
That the children were stuck in those containers.
Yeah, there were people, everybody.
There were people being human traffickers.
Yeah, because that's how they shipped them around it first.
Yeah, containers, yeah.
But those poor kids, like.
Oh, it's horrible.
It's very horrible the way they did it.
I mean, sit in a container for how long?
On the movie, they got both the kids, the boy and the girl, but in real life, he only saved one of them.
He couldn't find the other one.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
They changed it a little bit.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
That makes me pissed off.
Yeah, there's an actual documentary.
But he did save, like, 1,000 tons of kids.
Wait, that documentary, it had to have kind of a planning.
Yeah, because it was fucking depressing.
So they saved Teddy Bear or the other one?
Oh, man.
I'm not sure Mary knows.
We'll ask her later.
Oh, God.
Yeah, I was really fucking bummed out.
I don't know why you just told us that.
No, because I just.
Bring everything down.
Let me be Larry, bring everything fucking down for a minute.
We just talked about how great the movie is in Larry's head.
Hey, you want to know something about the movie that didn't happen?
That is sad.
But other than that, most of the shit was true, you know?
I mean, but they did take a couple of Hollywood liberties with it.
And they took some artistic liberty to make it a little.
To make it less suicidal at the end.
Some directors took Hollywood liberty.
Honestly, that movie just wants me to fucking quit everything and just go fucking like, dude.
I'll volunteer.
It does.
It's so fucking dangerous.
It makes you realize that how insignificant am I in this world?
What am I doing?
What am I's legacy?
Well, that's yeah.
I'm like, Jesus Christ.
Well, yeah, it makes me feel like worth.
How much that guy died?
Nothing would have ever became of him.
I mean, they would have found his body.
How insignificant we are is not the point.
How insignificant they treat other human life just trafficking people around us.
It's fucking pretty fucking sick.
He's a 2.5 million children.
2.5 million images of child porn in one calendar year.
Wow.
And that's the problem is like America is the number one fucking producer.
And one number one consumer.
Yes.
And the number one.
See, but this is why like this is why we are the most gluttonous country, but this is why
you kind of need to legalize prostitution.
Yes.
Give these guys.
Yeah.
Give these guys an out.
Yeah, definitely go after children.
Jesus Christ.
You're going there.
You're paying.
You put a fucking safety button in there.
Here's the problem with these weirdos.
So they might not want to go back to some hot chicken Amsterdam.
No, it doesn't have to be a hot chick.
Just whatever you like.
Yeah, but there's not going to be.
You can't if they're pedophiles are going to want to.
You're misconstruing what we're talking about.
No, but if they have something to go after like, dude, these guys are sickos because they
don't get shit for so long that they start going after children.
If you're a pedophile, no, I guess I don't know.
Maybe if they're in some steady pussy, they wouldn't even get to that point.
I don't know.
If you hit that bug, dude, you got the bug.
What brings you to that?
Well, what's a murderer do a serial killer?
What does somebody do that's a rapist?
That's it.
I mean, like they have that wiring in their brain, which is like, well, it's their program
to be like this.
And it's not even MK ultra shit.
I'm not talking Teddy K or anybody.
Right.
You know, I'm talking fucking you are like you're born gay.
Shout out to the king.
Yeah, shout out to the K. RIP.
I know.
I just I know.
I don't know.
Yeah, Teddy Kizinski.
Okay.
But I mean, you know, you know, Teddy is right.
Yeah.
I thought you had a buddy named Teddy K.
Oh, we're shouting out the Unabomber.
But it's like, I mean, you know, right from wrong.
Yeah.
Well, that is that is right.
Even a baby knows right from wrong.
Maybe not an infant, but a toddler.
Oh, no, they know like even a toddler.
They can barely speak.
I already know when they're doing something.
It's like, hey, you put your hand to a flame once.
What's going to happen?
You're not going to do it.
You're going to go to a barber shop multiple times, you know, get a haircut.
What's going to happen eventually?
You're going to get a haircut.
Yeah.
You know, you go to Epstein's Island five times.
What do you think you're going to do after the second or third time?
You just don't get on the data.
Because you're curious.
Humans are curious animals.
How about that?
Man, everybody's doing it like smoking the first joint or something.
Well, it's not even that.
No, I know.
But that's how Epstein works.
I mean, how do you recruit these people?
That's a thing.
And they got to shut up.
They have so they have to have dirt on everything.
That's right.
That's all it is.
All it is is espionage.
That's why all it is is espionage.
Well, here's part.
And here's also a part of it, dude.
They.
Oh, I thought I was sorry.
I thought we were doing a salute here.
They think that Epstein was a CIA plan.
That was a messiah.
Because and a messiah because here's the thing.
They gave him that super light fucking sentence the first time around and let him back out.
No, he was working for jail.
So he could collect more fucking names.
Oh, yeah.
He was freely passing.
He had a Saudi Arabian passport for Christ's sake.
Damn.
Oh, dude.
The most difficult to get.
Is it?
Yes.
Dude, he was.
Dude, once you get to the Middle East.
He had dirt on everybody.
But also people had dirt on him.
And that's what he was just a pawn in the game.
That's all it was.
Bring these people to Woody Allen.
The funny thing is.
Well, I think they all they all finally realized like, holy shit.
Wait a minute.
He's got you too.
Oh, wait.
I'm gonna fuck this guy.
Let's let's kill him.
But at the same time, it's like the.
You know, they kill them.
The problem is with that sound of freedom to us, they have to watch the abuse happen.
That which is the craziest thing to do for a job.
Well, it's like in the beginning of the movie.
Yeah, like he shows up and the guy wants him to get a kid to pick one out.
Well, no, when the guy's like, like, he's like, I can't do this.
I got to quit in that scene.
You know what I mean?
The opening.
Well, how about in the beginning where you have the guys like, he's like, man, we're not.
How many children have we saved?
We just say the pedophiles.
Like, and I got to look at this shit day in and day out.
Like, how do you how can you sleep at night?
I I.
Yeah, that's what.
Yeah, I could.
Yeah, I couldn't do.
I mean, like, do you want to know why that how that's you know, to grade that.
Or on way Larry, but that's fine.
Okay.
I want to do it this way.
Okay.
You know how you can tell that that is the worst crime that when you go to prison, one
of the most guarded criminals.
Yeah, that's the one that everybody wants to.
Fuck up.
Because that's even criminals have fucking.
They have like they have.
So should burn in hell.
Well, I don't wish that on anybody, bro.
Didn't you?
I don't wish that burning in hell on anybody.
I do.
Protect the pedophile whoopie Goldberg.
No, no, no, no.
Lord Larry Goldberg.
I'm not.
I like that Larry Goldberg.
The Lord can judge.
I'll judge him.
Yeah, but you should be judged on earth.
Yeah, let it burn.
At the same time, you can't just fucking.
You know, he definitely.
The Lord judges like a pike.
The Lord judges pedals worse than they get judged.
Yeah, but they're still alive.
Bill Clinton think he's still fucking living.
They don't get judge.
They don't get judge in prison.
They just get shanked.
Well, I'm just saying though, the pedophiles are the worst looked upon.
Oh, as they should be.
And then definitely they are crimes against children.
Because even them, yeah, they don't.
They have standard.
Like he said, we should all be in God's army against tyranny.
We should.
Yeah, you know, and pedophilia.
The tyrannical people.
Yes, but tyrannical people run this country.
Globalists, nationalists.
Everybody wants to say that Nazism, this and that like.
White supremacy.
Yeah, white supremacy, which is all the first.
It's all run by FBI.
Well, here's the thing about white supremacy that for one thing,
it's not even because to believe in white supremacy,
you have to believe in black inferiority and that in itself is racist.
So the people that are touting this white supremacy shit are
actually saying that they think blacks are inferior really.
And that that is right up straight up wrong.
And they should be the ones that are getting it turned back around on them.
But people just don't have the balls enough to fucking say it.
To stand up to who?
White supremacists?
No, man.
The people that call average everyday person white supremacists.
That's not.
Oh, well they say, yeah, you're Nat.
And the people that think that there are white supremacists at the same time
that think about white supremacy, they have to also think then that
there's black inferiority, which is not right, man.
Yeah, but look what Hitler did with the Jews.
It was all about inferiority.
I'm just saying like this is all.
I mean, this has been since the dawn of time, the Moors, everybody invading
Indians and the whites, Britain, you know what I mean?
Like there's always been a clash of.
But to give them extra benefit and to say we're going to let you,
we're going to slack up the task and we're going to slack up the rules to
make it easier for you to get in.
It's just like racist by saying we don't think that you can pass the
rigorous tasks that the white kids pass.
What they do, it's called, what do you call it?
But that's pretty fucking racist.
Which is no, but here's the deal though.
The funny thing is, is that racial inequality used to be for white people.
Now inclusion doesn't include white people.
I mean, Asians obviously the top of the list.
Yes, they don't get included either, but African Americans, tribal people.
They call them white devils.
Oh, that's awesome.
What do they call it?
We're on that devil.
When you, the white superior, oh, KKK or white superiority adjacent.
Oh yeah, white adjacent.
That's what we just said.
Yeah, that's what they think of the, they think that the Asians are also privileged and they're not dark enough or have enough color in their skin to be included in the people of color category.
Yeah, but I mean, that's Asia.
We're talking about, well, it's because they're, you know, I mean, if you go to Egypt, why do you think they have the nose destroyed off everything?
Who's that?
In Egypt, like the Sphinx, all the statues in Egypt, all the noses are busted off because most of them were black.
All the statues.
Oh yeah, they're black noses and that's how you can decipher.
I mean, is this a real story you're making this up?
No, this is, dude, look it up.
Yeah, look it up, look it up, in the middle of a podcast.
This is why we need, oh, KKK deniers.
That's what we need as our producer.
He just shoots down everything you say.
Everything I say is fact.
Some botany professor in the control room, it sounds like, that's bullshit.
And then you have to fight against him and you want to make it up, but it's fact.
No, it is, a lot of the Egyptians, the rulers, they were black, they were dark skin.
Well, they were dark skin, but I mean, the geology and the genetic make up.
It's fucking hot.
Yeah, well, they were rulers back then.
It's just like the Moors back going to Italy.
The Moors went everywhere though.
That's what I was saying.
Everybody loves to say the Moors went to Italy.
They were all, they were conquered a lot of shit.
Oh yeah, they did.
It's just like that.
Glad it's the Moor lover over here.
What's that movie?
What?
Oh man.
I don't know how to say a quote from it.
The Moors.
No, what the hell is that?
The Moors.
What was that movie with the?
Oh, fucking, I know what you're talking about.
You know what, the Italians were spawning Nigerians?
Yeah, yeah, with, not with, Christian Slater.
Christian Slater.
Yes, what the fucking soprano dude?
No, it was one of Tarantino's movies.
Oh, fuck man, people are going to be scratching at the shit.
Oh, with the white black dude?
California.
Ball fiction?
Yeah, no, no, no.
What's that, what's the Wiggers name?
Rapaport.
Yeah, Michael Rapport's one of his first brand movies.
And fucking, Pete was in there.
They were doing funny bear bongs.
Oh, that's right.
He was, Tony Bear Bong?
Tony Sopranos was in it.
Oh man, what the fuck?
Oh shit, I just had it.
Oh my god, how can my, I'm fortunate.
I've seen it like a million times.
He's an Elvis guy.
And fucking, what's his nuts?
The white dude with those, with the scar?
Shit, man.
Oh, I got to look it up, man.
It can't fucking know.
Oh, it must be white boy, Dave.
Oh, some dreams or some dreams or,
oh, what the fuck is the name of the movie?
Do you know Tarantino movies?
Have you seen Tarantino movies?
No, not many.
You, what are you having?
I saw Blackfix.
Well, I didn't for a long time, but when I got married,
married after like the first year, she's like, all right.
True romance.
That's a classic movie, yeah.
She's like, yeah.
Oh, it's Belki Bartakamus was in there too.
So I told Donnie Enforce, just pull your pants up
and come outside with your hands up.
OMG, comma, comma, good one, comma, comma, all capitals,
L-M-A-O, smile.
So we're back in the good graces of Donnie Enforce,
which is good because he's going to come on the pod
next week with Kiki and we're going to talk about giants
and stuff like that.
And all the great, the feds don't see it because he's
a little too much.
They won't cut his head off though.
That's very funny.
T.I. and Tiny here are sued by women claiming they
drugged her and penetrated her with rapper's big toe.
Oh man.
I want to know how she feels.
Let me read that again for Leary because you know this story.
Yeah, listen to this.
I sent this to Kiki.
Penetrated with his big toe.
But listen, T.I. and Tiny, T.I. is a rapper.
T.I. is a well known and leaded.
They had like the reality show.
She's the wife.
T.I. and Tiny here is sued by woman claiming they drugged
her and penetrated her with the rapper's T.I. big toe.
This was at a house party, a Cooley O's house in 1995.
I have to add that caveat in there.
I just want to know how she knew he penetrated her with
a big toe.
Was this like, this is my,
Well, I mean, they videotaped it obviously.
Yeah, I was just going to say, was this the talk of the party?
Like T.I. was like smell my toe.
They probably all watched.
They were probably laughing.
Get it with the big toe, T.I.
Black guys don't wear sandals.
You see, I mean, he's got to take it.
I mean, the weird thing is they walk around with stinky toe
all night.
No, but whenever you see porn, they always got shoes on.
Like they're ready to run in any second.
Hey, I like grip though.
I wear socks.
Yeah, well, no, that's just it.
It's good to have some grip.
Kids like to get in there.
If you know what I mean, Jelly Bean.
That's a good idea to have shoes on.
Oh, we're Timberlands.
Just in case the boyfriend or husband comes home.
Running shoes.
There he's got new balance.
The lightest things you can possibly eat.
Like it's a meat factory.
It's a slaughter line.
Oh, man.
Classic.
But seriously, so then T.I.
Big toe.
I just think that's hilarious.
Like how does that?
That's what you're like, all right, fuck it.
I'm going to stick my big toe in this bitch.
Yeah, that's how fucked up they are.
And you found somebody willing.
It's just like the mudshark.
And then the wife gives that big toe.
Give her that big toe.
Give it to her.
And then the tiny's watching.
Which is hilarious.
Because you're usually called like a big fat guy tiny.
Yeah, right?
It's complete opposite.
I wonder if that word called.
Did she lick the toe afterwards?
Yeah, right?
Did she lick the toe afterwards?
No, not an oxymoron, but yeah.
Something like that.
No, what do you call it?
Big fat guy tiny.
Yeah, it's what do you call that?
Opposite.
Well, yeah.
But no, that's not there's a word for it.
But that's a very funny story.
Like, that's how fucked up you are with your wife.
Give it a toe.
You can't change it, but you can put your big toe in her tie.
Yeah, yeah.
Like that's the only sexual pleasure.
And I'm going to completely watch.
How fucked up is that shit?
Because she's like a little T-Rex.
She's got numbers, dude.
So she's like a little T-Rex on her distance.
She's a little cutie.
I don't know.
She's like a little roly, you know, roly bitch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, she's fat.
Sorry, bro.
But no, she'd be fun.
I don't know about that.
T-I.
And then T-I.
I'm not saying T-I.
I know I'm just saying, well, I mean, you've got to watch, dude.
Yeah.
You know, whoa, I didn't know he did.
Yeah.
I didn't know you swung both ways.
I'm a little blotchy, you're honest.
I'm like that upside down pineapple tattoo.
Dude, that's like, that was a big Lebowski.
Where Bunny, Bunny like blowing my toes.
With your toes?
Yeah.
And then what's his name's in the background?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What's his Seymour Hoffman?
Yeah.
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
$1000 bucks, I'll suck your dick.
And it's just 100 bucks he can watch.
Otherwise he's going to believe you.
I am going to the ATM.
Yeah.
Where's the closest ATM?
Seymour Hoffman was great, that was what we did.
He was great.
Dude Boogie Knight, he was the man also.
I did.
But RIP, Philly S, PSH, right?
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Yeah, he's a dope too.
You know what?
And it was probably fentanyl.
It was, no, it wasn't fentanyl, it was heroin before it was fentanyl.
Yeah, that's a good one.
He got busted.
He got good bags.
He got good shit.
If a boy's going to relapse, if a boy's going to relapse.
He had good shit.
You know?
Well, no, because he had 70 bags.
If you got something like that, yeah.
If you got good shit, you're getting it.
But it doesn't matter how much shit he has, you just keep doing it.
You got money.
Yeah.
You're buying him bulk.
Exactly.
I know.
But he did multiple ATM runs.
You don't got to tell me.
That'll mean he has to buy us.
Dude, I guess I had self-control.
Oh, man.
To an extent.
I always had to work.
I always had to shoot.
I had self-control.
But I only did 80 milligrams of AXI every day for six months.
I controlled the drugs.
To start the day off.
I didn't let the drugs control me, man.
I controlled the drugs.
I still worked every fucking day.
That's cool.
I know.
Listen to Larry.
He's like, what's that work?
But here's another thing, though.
I've done all those things, too.
Like worked every day still on that shit.
But that didn't mean I was not out of control.
Larry, when was the last time you had a job?
Oh, no.
I'm not saying I wasn't out of control.
I wasn't saying I was out of control.
When I was talking about tour, Larry, we were talking about a job.
But that's a lot of work.
And I would have to go cold turkey.
Larry, I asked you a question.
You turned it always into I was on tour one day.
That's my work.
That's the last fucking word.
No, it wasn't.
Larry, when you had a job that gave you a four or what do you call it?
What's it called?
What's the form?
1099.
When I worked at like, what's the year, Larry?
I don't know.
1960.
No, man.
Like four or four.
This guy just folds under a question.
I don't know how many years ago.
He's like, I'm still not fucking...
Remember when I fucking played guitar at Pop Bellies?
Remember when I played guitar at Pop Bellies?
They didn't give you a 1099.
Remember when I worked at the music store?
Yeah, that was what 1987.
No way.
Oh, 1992.
You and Franchi and his kids would come in there all the time.
I would fucking hook them up with the guitar.
What was the date?
That was fucking in the 2000s.
You didn't even know the year.
The year was like 2006, 2007.
So it was 20 years ago.
I think you're fabricating that.
Dude, Sugar Baby Winter is in full effect.
He's got a new $600 guitar.
I worked after that, motherfucker.
Dude, Sugar Baby Winter, where did you get the $600 to get a guitar, Harry?
Look at him.
He's folding under question.
I got my hustle.
I should move the light closer to him.
I got my hustle.
I don't want to talk about my hustle.
I know.
I have so many good gay jokes right now, but I can't say them.
Dude, I'll tell you what.
After I got raided.
Oh, shit.
Dude, after I got raided by the cops.
After I got raided by the FBI guys.
Dude, after I went through all my shit, I'm like, dude, these fuckers don't know what I said.
Dude, everything was everywhere.
Yeah, they made it my prison wallet.
No, they did.
I'm like, wait a minute.
They didn't find this.
They didn't find that.
Dude, so much shit.
Yeah, so he narked his ass out.
That's the problem, man.
But I wanted to go back to the cops and be like, listen.
You guys are idiots.
Here, $20,000.
You can hire me as a consultant.
I'll teach you guys how to fucking search.
How the fucking search is even better.
I don't want to tell Mike, you guys are fucking clown.
You guys are a shit show.
How many guys were just fucking raided in my fucking place?
What is it called when you give advice or what is it called?
Consultant.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
KKK Kiki's Consultant Corner.
Seriously, I wanted just to rub it in your face.
Iron cross in the back.
I wanted to rub it in your face.
I'm like, you guys didn't.
You guys, you know, 20 K here.
You guys did this all wrong.
If you're going to raid me, this is how you do it.
It's best to just keep it to yourself.
Now, well, yeah, of course I did.
Honestly, I know you did.
I wanted to just go rubbing it in.
You guys fucking, here, I'll judge you this much for insulting
because you don't want the shit you fucking missed at my fucking place.
Well, the thing is, too, like they're warrant.
Allegedly.
Yeah, allegedly.
Because they're warrant is only good for that day.
$24.
They get another one if they really need it.
If they think they need one.
I mean, it's not like you have some big drug cart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have a huge cart top on burn.
You know what I mean?
Like, well, all your thing all charges were dropped.
Well, yeah, but you were doing your thing and somebody didn't like what you were doing.
And you know, try to take the competition out.
Oh, what was that?
That's bullshit.
Oh, yeah, no, it sucks.
I thought Larry was making a statement.
Oh, dude, that was just the first time, too.
Now, see, look at this guy.
People ran into you.
Bad company.
Yeah.
No, no, no, the second time.
Oh, fuck, dude.
This is the second time I was in Butte County in Montana, not Orville.
Plates called Yankee Hill and Orville.
Wait, what are you talking about?
What state?
California.
Okay, Jesus Christ.
It's right by the Orville.
Orville, yeah, yeah, County.
Oh, no, holy shit.
So I won't go.
Worst storyteller.
You and Larry have been hit.
No, so I will you wake up, dude, it gets summertime.
It gets hot as fuck.
Yeah.
So you know, in the can.
North Hill.
Yeah, North Hill.
Humble County.
I think I want to have from Sacramento.
North of Sacramento.
Oh, wait up there.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Dude, beautiful country, man.
I bet.
I've never been there far north in California.
I've only been in like LA, San Diego.
It's beautiful.
Oh, San Francisco, shit like that.
But we had 45 acres.
Oh, speaking of that, Golden Gate Bridge started construction today.
What do you mean they started construction?
The Golden Gate Bridge started construction.
I'm sorry.
Keep on going.
You're going to a bunch of weed up there.
And you know, you started six o'clock, you worked to about 10 and then you go take a nap
till about three o'clock.
Because two fucks is that.
And it stinks like smoke because there's so many damn fires up there in the summertime.
So it stinks like smoke.
But it's so yes.
Air quality shit.
Hot as fuck.
Yeah.
So you do all your work in the morning.
So I wake up six o'clock, get my coffee going.
I get a Red Bull going.
Correct my Red Bull.
I opened the front door to go get hop on the dirt bike to drive down to the.
Crop to crop and all of a sudden.
Allegedly.
No, no, this is real.
Okay.
Well, yeah, no, it's not allegedly it's all over.
It's over with.
So well, so there's those things are gone for troopers, bulletproof, fast eight air 15
sitting at my door.
Oh, fuck.
Right when I opened my door, the guy was about to pound up my door and you opened it.
And I opened it.
Not even, you know, luckily you didn't know.
Crop McGaugh, because you were in the crotch and then put him in the seat.
He hands me a warrant.
He's like, we got a warrant.
Search your property.
No knock.
Yeah.
Well, they actually didn't have a warrant to come in your house.
But they had warrants.
Search my property.
So I knew how crazy it was.
So you know, we know, I know the neighbors.
We all doing the same shit, but we have the trail cam set up and my neighbors like, man,
it's fucked up, you know, because we check the trail cams all the time just because
there's fucking people that want to rob you all the time.
And we have one road coming in.
So it's we have time to even prepare for them if they do.
But anyways, you know, trail cams, he's like, man, my trail cams, I'm not getting anything.
It's like, it's like my shit's getting erased every fucking night.
And I was like, man, that's fucking strange.
The cops have been fucking scoping the place for the past two weeks.
They were trying to get the trail cams.
Yeah.
So they were fucking reset because they would set them off and then find them and that's
very crazy reset them.
But anyways, so then the cops like, they were actually pretty polite.
And the guys like, did you know these people?
And I was only up there for like two and a half, three months and they show me.
I damn three months.
That's pretty quick.
Yeah.
Well, that's been all of a sudden they show me these pictures and they're old pictures
of my neighbor, but I'm like, man, like, I don't know who the fuck that is.
I'm just been up here.
So you get raided and your neighbors don't get raided.
They're doing the same thing.
Oh, no, I.
I want to say they got raided to both sides.
Well, I think there's three places that got raided.
Okay.
But I don't know if I was one of the first ones.
So it sounds like he was going to pick it out.
Oh, no.
I mean, dude, there were squads everywhere.
Well, but it was like they were scoping shit out.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, they were scoping shit out and they knew this guy.
Well, they had a warrant for my place because he was seen at my property.
So what are the old pictures?
What was he wanted for?
That's what I want to know.
Okay.
So that's the thing I want to show me the picture of the dude and his girlfriend.
But she was.
And she was all right.
Yeah.
I'm sure.
Okay.
But honestly, I didn't even realize who the hell it was.
Right.
Such old pictures of him.
And then he said the name.
I'm like, oh, fuck.
But I'm like, you know, I still like, yeah, you know, I'm new up here.
I haven't seen this guy for a while.
I saw him the night before.
Oh, geez.
Oh, man.
But no, but I was going to just hold back on that.
But that's why I'm like, I didn't.
I'm like, you know, I don't know.
The pictures look hazy to me.
I'm like, I just been up here for the past month.
I really don't know.
Don't see just like that.
Yeah.
That's why I just told them.
But then he's like, you know, well, we're going to search the property.
I'm like, well, it's not.
Well, first I'm like, well, you guys here to check out the farm because I'm like, we're
legit.
I have all my paperwork.
It's all down there.
Everything is, he's like, well, we're going to check that out.
But yeah, that's not why we're here.
Do you know your STD paperwork?
You're a scumbag.
You've heard what you've been doing.
No, they didn't even give a shit about the cameras.
So what were they actually looking for?
All right.
So I think I was out, my neighbor ended up killing a dude.
Oh, yeah.
That ran it on his brother and his brother was thrown in jail back in Sacramento.
Oh, so gang members.
Oh, yeah.
Well, dude, I think you've met the dude.
All right.
Well, he's called.
He's called.
It's called.
It's me and this story.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you.
Because weren't you up there before?
He's like, yeah, you hung out with him before.
No, no, weren't you up?
Yes.
I, yes.
Remember that whole he asked you to do?
No, I was out on the farm for a little while.
You were kissing?
Yeah.
No, I know.
No, so anyway, it's an egregious state.
No, so anyways, you know, I'm sitting out there with my binoculars, looking at my neighbor's
property because all of a sudden I see the what the hell said the CSI truck come out.
Oh, yeah.
And the crime scene crime scene and they had cadaver dogs.
Oh, man.
So they found they found a vehicle that had blood in the trunk.
The guy's Volkswagen.
Wow.
Your neighbor's Volkswagen.
Yeah.
The dude you were just hanging out the night before with murdering somebody the next day.
No, no, previously.
He probably murdered the guy like a few months ago.
Oh, man.
And it's just catching up with him.
So I get this.
So good kisser.
Yeah.
He was.
He put up a fight.
But no, but so my neighbor, he was a handicapped guy.
So this neighbor kind of took advantage of it was growing on his property, but also buried
the body on this guy's property.
Oh, so yeah, very a body on a handicapped guy's property.
Yeah.
I mean, how stupid is that?
But they connected him to it instantaneous.
Well, they knew exactly who it was.
You can tell by the ground, first of all, probably the dog, the dog smell.
Yeah.
But I mean, think about that.
You're very wild.
The body on a guy who's in a wheelchair.
Yeah.
I mean, how stupid is that?
Well, the sad thing is that guy got fucked because his house, he had a bunch of illegal
shit going on there.
You know, a lot of these guys.
Well, and the thing is to a lot of these guys in the hill country here, they're doing
meth.
They're paranoid.
Yeah.
So you get all that sex.
Hey, I'll do meth and trim all night.
Well, I don't think so.
Well, yeah, I'm gonna freak out.
You wish.
Yeah, but I don't know what they do.
Stuff people up there.
And I'll tell you what, like the first time I met this guy, his name was Paul, but what
he ended up committing suicide back in Minnesota, like months later.
Uh-huh.
Because he knew the cops were out looking for it.
Yeah.
Wow.
Committed suicide over it.
Yeah.
Jails and situations were bad.
But anyway, the first day I met this guy, so I drive up to his property probably like
10 o'clock at night because I drove all the way up from San Diego.
So I drive up there and he, you know, I think he was all methed out because...
You think?
After I get in the house, two seconds later, knocking the fucking door, he's sitting there
with an air 15 and a shotgun in his hand.
Oh, Jesus, you think this guy was methed out?
Yeah, I'm like, Jesus Christ.
He's like, right, what are you doing here?
Oh, you?
Yeah.
I'm like, well, because, you know, buddy, Howie told me he's like, you know, he's...
Let's not use real names anymore.
This is a made up name, but he's like, he's probably going to meet you up there.
He'll, you know, he's watching the place and this and that.
So he knocks in the door.
I'm like, oh, you, what's his name?
He's like, yeah, like, I'm listening.
He's like, oh, all right.
So he starts unloading all the guns he had on him on the table.
Pulling like...
So he's going to World War three.
That guy with the trench coat with the watches and shit.
Let me hear like four hand guns on him, an air 15, a shotgun.
Then he had like some mini, some shotgun out of his...
You can see the shells sticking out on the air.
Holy fuck.
And I knew right away, like, all right, this guy's fucked up.
Keep him on your good side.
So going to those guys, he knows fucked up.
Oh, yeah, they have guns in there probably loaded or...
Whenever he came by, like, whatever he needed, I'm like, buddy, whatever you need.
I'm an electrician.
I'll help you out.
I'm like, come by, I'll get some beers, those barbecue.
I just, those are one of those guys he's like...
It's going to kill you if they get on their bad side.
That's a thing I always wanted in his head, like, man, this guy always gave me beers and
food.
All right.
Yeah, I'm not going to kill him.
He had to kill him last.
Right.
So when he goes off the deep end, hopefully he'll get your house.
Yeah, he thinks last second.
Oh, wait a minute, man.
Oh, yeah, he gave me some beers.
He's got some really bloody shit and he comes to your door.
He's like, hey, I want a barbecue.
Yeah.
But no, oh dude, he was just out of his mind.
Cut fucking me, man.
That's crazy.
Well, that's what happens.
When the cool thing was too, even the cops are like, all right, man, I'm like, yeah,
they fucking just, everything was cool.
And they just, after the body, after they found it.
Wow.
And I actually, we had a gold mine on our property.
I'm like, I'm just...
A gold mine.
I mean, like...
Oh yeah, we had a gold black man.
Well, in the cool thing...
Northern California.
Well, we had black bears too.
That was...
We had golden black bears.
This guy's talking about...
Did I just say golden?
Did I?
No, it was gold.
Gold mine.
Yeah.
And black bears.
It wasn't, I mean, there was gold in it though.
The cool thing, we saw there was quartz all over the place.
So we know there was some people have found gold, just walking, hiking and shit.
Like, you know, little pieces.
But you're interested in the cash crop.
Yeah.
Well, but even the gold mine, it was deep.
Like we were scared to go in there because you could see fresh bear scat.
And the crazy thing was...
This sounds like a euphemism.
Yeah.
I mean, this, this mine was probably, you know, like 300, 400 feet from the actual house.
But you know, we had trail cam set up.
We never, I never saw the bears in person.
But you saw them on the camera.
Yeah, you were watching the bear in person, man.
But you, while you see the mama bear and two cubs.
Oh, yeah.
That's what you get.
So that's what I was like.
Smokes, man.
Yeah.
Well, I always made sure whenever I was near it.
I thought you didn't want to run into any bear.
It was 40 acres or 45 acres.
So we always, I always had a dirt bike right now.
Yeah.
So just in case I saw a bear, I was on a dirt bike, I could hightail the fuck out of there.
Yeah.
And they could run pretty damn fast.
Oh, they run 35 miles an hour.
No.
They run way faster.
And up trees.
Yeah.
They're two inches long, you're fucked.
If you don't have a gun, you're fucked.
I mean, I know this on a big gun, high caliber.
You have to have a 9, you have to have 50 cal 40.
No, if you have a 10 mil or a 44 mag.
No, if the bear is coming at you.
Well, no, that's where the old expression comes from, loaded for bear.
Yeah.
No, I've never heard that.
You've never heard that.
Loaded for bear.
44 mag was usually a bear gun.
Wow.
But now 10 mil, like a hand.
That's a 30 hairy gun too, the 44 mag.
Yeah.
I mean, that's because it's high pressure, high velocity, and you can actually like penetrate
it.
Well, the thing is like shell in the round is yeah.
Well, the thing is that you want to sell it even 10 mil because you can have 15 rounds
and they're smaller than 44.
Yeah.
Larry, but the thing is 108.
You want to you want to basically hit that bear spine so they can stop moving.
Otherwise, they're going to take you out.
So it's like you want your aim.
You're going to stop them in the tracks or your fire.
Well, you're hoping you're in the nervous system where it takes them out instantly.
Yes, and the odds of you running into a bear are slim to nil.
But when you do boy.
Yeah.
No shirt.
Nick was on vacation with his girlfriend, man.
They were in Tennessee and they're sitting around hanging around.
They took a little walk away from their car.
They're hanging out.
All of a sudden, he noticed they're surrounded by like eight bears.
Oh, eight bears.
Come on.
Yeah.
And you know, they weren't giant ones.
You're not talking about the Chicago Gang and bears.
Yeah.
They're white.
They went back to the car.
If there's eight bears, what kind of formation are they doing?
They're doing phallics.
Are they doing behind you?
No, man.
They weren't completely surrounded.
But eight bears is a lot.
They just started to notice there's a bear right there.
Holy shit.
I want no shirt.
Nick, the fact check is a story.
Now, I believe in Tennessee.
To Tennessee, the Smoky Mountains.
There's bears all over.
Yeah.
Dude, last time I was in the small, dude, this was fantastic.
So I was in the first dude.
Yeah.
Well, that's another story.
But we were in Gatlinburg going to a restaurant.
My two, my buddy was taking my buddy was taking a piss.
And all of a sudden I see like some big fatties running down the street.
Everybody's running.
You and fatties, dude.
What's going on?
That's what happened.
Fattie Magnet.
Yeah.
Well, all these people are running through running, running to stores.
And then all of a sudden I see a bear just came out of nowhere and then hightailed up
an alley towards like a dumpster.
It's just sweet with the shirt off.
How big was he?
Yeah.
Pretty big.
Yeah.
It was a decent size bear.
Oh, the bears are fucking fucking big.
But it was like big.
No shirt, Nick said there was like a couple of big ones and a bunch of smaller ones.
But not, you know, babies or nothing, but you know, a little smaller than the big motherfuckers.
And on that note, let's close it out.
Yeah.
All right, I want to think times free clinic, automotive, automotive.
I can take you.
Man.
I want to think times free clinic, automotive and veterinary services for sponsoring us.
They got the best service around.
They really do.
I mean, you really need that for anything.
It's fucking.
I mean, look at it, man.
It's like this is a new sponsor.
I mean, I'm going to show you.
They sponsor everything.
I know.
It's a beautiful dude is sometimes you're just a little discombobulated.
If your syphilis is a kick in and you're in your pool of fishing.
Oh, times free clinic.
That's a shout out to El Capone.
Get your back.
Yeah.
But yeah, Larry doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.
All right, Larry, play us out with the with the intro.
How's that?
The Yucca.
Yeah.
Can you do a reggae version?
There you go.
There is going to do.
I'm trying to talk Larry into a ukulele album called go you yourself.
Yeah.
We've been doing this for years.
All right.
Here's the reggae version.
It's time to leave the Larry Needle show.
Love it.
Amazing.
Bring out the white women.
That's what we want.
Yeah.
Dude, that's totally the right version.
Don't make haste.
Because we have the cocaine paste.
Slavery.
Not good.
But it pays the bills.
Larry.
Watch your kids from the Larry.
Needles.
Sorry.
Needles.
No.
Love you guys.
That was awesome.
Totally reggae version.
I love it.
Yeah.
Thank you.
We love you.
That was awesome.
Totally reggae version.
I love it.
Yeah.
Thank you.
We love you.
That was awesome.
Totally reggae version.
I love it.
Thank you.
We love you.
That was fantastic.
Have a great night.
And hey, fucking tell someone about this show.
Tell somebody.
What are you doing?
It's salty.
It hurts.