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Time to get ready for the Larry and Needle Show.

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And the Needle.

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And the Needle.

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And the Needle.

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Show.

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And the Needle.

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That was my guy.

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Well, the Larry Needle Show.

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Oh, he's a little silly.

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Special episode.

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Welcome to Larry and...

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my fucking trick fucking graphics beginning.

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You meant to say tick.

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Yeah.

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That's alright though.

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Love you no matter what Larry.

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Jacket or no.

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I want to give No-Shirt Nick another day.

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Why are you wearing a motorcycle jacket in the basement?

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Because I'm a fucking biker, man.

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Look at that, man.

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Look at her.

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Oh man.

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One way to get beat up.

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Hey dude, I played at the Outlaws fucking clubhouse.

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I played at fucking...

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He's earned it.

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I can't tell you how many biker fucking clubhouses I played at.

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These motherfuckers.

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I would have already been dead if A. they didn't like me and B.

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I wasn't a badass on the guitar.

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So, you know, one time Robert played the first time

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I fucking played a show with Bobby at one of these biker parties.

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And he's like, oh my god, they don't like us, dude.

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And I'm like, dude, if they didn't like us,

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that bass guitar would be shoved up your ass already.

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Seriously.

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You know, he always goes to sex with me and f' the ass

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and then he just said that.

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And then he just said that last...

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Come on, Larry, what's wrong with your mind?

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What the fuck, man?

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He's got a point though.

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Because, you know, in between songs now,

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they wouldn't clap at all.

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They're sitting there like this.

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A couple of their girlfriends would clap

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and they'd look at their boyfriend and hope they don't get punched.

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But they would know that.

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Silence.

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Silence.

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And I said, dude, there's not fucking, you know, projectiles hurling at us.

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They like us.

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And this is like the fifth time I played for these guys.

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So, you know, they never clap.

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I know this already.

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The place where I went with Larry around here in the Burbs,

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they had a bar and it was just stocked with beers.

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And it was like, what, $2 beers or something?

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Dollar beers or something?

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That's a good way.

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The clubhouse around here, by where I live.

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I don't remember, man.

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Okay, well, that's fine.

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Maybe it was those dollar beers.

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What's that?

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Maybe it was because of those dollar beers.

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I don't know, maybe I wasn't there.

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That's when you know it's a good place though.

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Even when we went to the midget wrestling,

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it was only, what, three bucks a beer or three dollars a drink?

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That was great.

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I always enjoy when you can get a good bang for your box.

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What are you doing, Larry?

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Hang out in Boys Town.

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I'm sure you find a good deal.

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No, but you can buy drinks for everybody.

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It's like a 20 spotter.

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I was feeling great.

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It's not like $60.

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Here's the thing, man.

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I bought two or three beers for that fucking kid.

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That was at the skinny kid in the backseat with us.

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I asked him for another fucking cigarette.

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He's like, oh man.

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Which kid was that?

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The kid that had the fucking American spirits.

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Dude, why wouldn't you ask me for a cigarette?

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Because I know not one of those ghetto ass palm offs.

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He's tired of kissing you.

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I didn't want to kiss you.

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He has to move out and do me.

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So I'm thinking shit, I bought this motherfucker a couple of beers

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and he didn't fucking want to give me a cigarette.

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Maybe you rubbed him the wrong way.

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I guess I did.

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Rub him the wrong way.

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Yeah, from the backside, not the front.

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There goes our for the ball.

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Whatever you do, man, I don't fucking need to know.

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He was a fuck guy.

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You're just pushing that shit on me.

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Pushing it on me? You know what?

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That was a good start.

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Isn't that Polish Barbie one too?

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Oh yeah.

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That bartender was pretty cute.

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She had some interest, whatever.

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I mean, she had some miles, but she had a few more to go.

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Oh yeah, oh yeah.

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She can take some more.

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Couple more bangs.

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She had a couple more rides around the world.

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Yeah, around the world.

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That was just things from California to Pennsylvania.

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I'd probably go around the block.

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2500 maybe.

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You run her through the fucking dirt a few more times.

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Yeah, it's like a Hugo.

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The whole EU shit, man.

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They can do that shit though.

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Do you remember that, the Hugo?

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That was like the fucking car.

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The butt of every joke.

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Was it from Yugoslavia or was it just?

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It might have been, man.

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They might have been.

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You think we'd be smarter to put Hugo to Yugoslavians?

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Well, yeah, but I don't think I've ever seen a Hugo on the road.

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But it was like a butt of every joke.

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I knew someone that had one.

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And here's the thing, man.

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They had a fuck. Oh my lord.

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Oh my land time.

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They had a whole, like, you know, their toolbox.

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They're a motor mechanic,

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like a car mechanic.

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And they had all their tools and shit.

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And they got into a fucking heavy accident

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with the Hugo.

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And the tools were just flying around the car.

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And I got pretty fucked up.

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Well, dude, that was like the first thing.

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It was very small. Yeah.

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It was very small. You get an accident, you get buried in it.

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It was like a car.

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You have tools in the back of it first.

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Fucking projectile.

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You need tinderbottom.

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Big wrenches and shit.

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There's gas, tools,

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and a little car.

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Somebody rear-ends you, man.

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And a Polar-Trivia.

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It's literally waiting to go off.

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I think the Corvair, when they got rear-ended.

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No, man, you know, that was the fucking pinto.

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The Ford pinto. That was the one.

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The more recent one that blew up.

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The Corvair, you say, saved that from also.

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Because mid-engine, it would...

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You would think a mechanic would have a better car.

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Right. Well, here's the thing.

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It's like the shoemaker with the whole of his shoes.

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You know, that's always how it is.

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Really? Yeah, like Tom.

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Not anymore. Like Rat.

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Working at the guitar shop, and he had one guitar.

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He worked at the music shop for fucking 35 years.

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People aren't dead genuine anymore.

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No, but it's even like...

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The carpenter that needs his house,

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all his shit work needs to be done.

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They do all the work when they're not at home.

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People are still trained by the internet.

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You know what I mean? Like, we're all controlled by something.

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Like, you could still do something for eight hours a day,

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but now you're going to go on your phone.

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I mean, majority of people...

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Yeah, much time I've wasted looking at my fucking...

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Just taking a shit.

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We're not just going to take a shit on Instagram.

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The next thing I know is like an hour later,

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I'm like, what the fuck did I just do for an hour?

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It's just a crime anymore.

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Well, I'm not saying I do an hour, but yeah, it's just a waste of time.

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I understand you fucking embellished on that.

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Yeah, but it's just a waste of time.

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I don't fucking work around with that.

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First of all, I don't know where my phone is.

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Second of all, I don't have a job.

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I don't know where my phone is.

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And not to mention, I just have a fucking

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Game Boy in the bathroom.

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Yeah, that's what his name is, Game Boy.

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Where's he get it from, China?

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I just play Tetris, man.

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I bet you you do.

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You lock her back up after you get it.

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That's it.

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Hey, I know how you met my new boy at Game Boy.

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He's Game Boy.

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Do you see that movie?

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The Tetris movie?

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No.

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It's actually pretty interesting.

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Russian guy had created Tetris back in the...

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What do you mean?

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It was the 80s.

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But American guy bought the rights to it from

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some guy in England.

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Lexi...

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But he didn't have the rights to it.

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Russia wouldn't...

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The guy that created it couldn't sell the rights.

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It was coming to Russia.

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They owned it.

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It's a pretty interesting movie.

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I don't know how accurate it was.

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But eventually the guy...

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The American guy...

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You and your stories.

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I mean, I'm not going to pick up on one of them.

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We're not here for accuracy.

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We just spew misinformation.

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Don't quote me.

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Come on, the guy who wears a white watch.

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I'm talking about the movie I saw.

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The American guy actually

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did this... The Russian guy a solid.

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Because after Russia fell,

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Gorbachev turned on his watch.

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He fucking gave him some money.

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No, he brought him to America.

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They started their own company together.

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Tetris company.

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The guy ended up becoming a millionaire.

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They created it.

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Eventually. It took him like 20 years

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after he created the fucking thing.

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After you're in a fucking communist country.

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I've been in them fucking...

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I've been in some places where it's not even

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communist before, but it was east of the fucking wall.

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You know?

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And those motherfuckers don't even have

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hot water.

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They don't even know what it is.

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They take cold showers every day,

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and they don't even know that they could be

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having hot water.

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It's really weird.

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Dude, that guy was probably...

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It didn't matter that it took him 10 fucking years,

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is what I'm saying, you dumbass.

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Can you do any kind of fucking...

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Do any kind of correlations

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with this motherfucker?

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I will knock you both out with a

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ciggy in my mouth.

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I bet you those women are pretty fucking hard to get.

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If you have an open beer on the computer,

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you should probably go and do Larry.

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No, don't use the Lord's name in vain.

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Sorry, Larry.

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You'll fucking go to hell.

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We're all going to hell.

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We don't know this Larry.

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00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,000
I'm not going to hell.

270
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,000
Don't use the Lord's name in vain because he doesn't like it.

271
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,000
You know.

272
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000
Dude, would you like if someone was cursing your name?

273
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,000
They do it all the time.

274
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,000
The Lord already told me he's got a blade.

275
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000
They curse your name too.

276
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,000
Larry does it 500 times a day.

277
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,000
Larry, damn it.

278
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,000
Larry, damn it.

279
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,000
She's never ever said that.

280
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,000
She's never.

281
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,000
She's got a nice t-shirt.

282
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,000
You're a son of a bitch, Larry.

283
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,000
Useless sugar baby.

284
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,000
Larry, damn it.

285
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,000
Clean the pool.

286
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,000
You're doing sick guitarists,

287
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000
ripping bongs.

288
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000
They ain't paying the bills, Larry.

289
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000
You ain't paying nothing.

290
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,000
My God.

291
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,000
You lost your look a long time ago.

292
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000
I got my hustle.

293
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,000
Do I know your hustle?

294
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,000
I got my hustle.

295
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,000
Kiss and do to the train station.

296
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,000
That's not the hustle she was looking for.

297
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000
That's not the hustle I'm talking about though.

298
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000
I got waves.

299
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,000
Yeah, you got a lot of hustles.

300
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000
Hey man.

301
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,000
Call you backdoor Larry.

302
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,000
Yeah.

303
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,000
Ditch dildo.

304
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,000
Dude, that one's great.

305
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,000
Dude, that's his poor name.

306
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,000
Ditch dildo.

307
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,000
Oh, that's classic.

308
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000
But I'm still blown away

309
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,000
at how that thing was dug up.

310
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,000
I love it.

311
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,000
It's very fun.

312
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,000
Seriously, that's like a one in a million fine.

313
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,000
I know.

314
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,000
That was your lottery win right there.

315
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,000
I've lived here for like 25 years

316
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,000
and cut the law in a million fucking times

317
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,000
and I never saw that thing.

318
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,000
It was pretty fucking,

319
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,000
it was only a little bit of it.

320
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,000
Sticking out, it was like, you know,

321
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,000
sun was hitting it, it looked like a diamond.

322
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,000
You see how he's embellishing also?

323
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000
No.

324
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,000
It's like the fucking, what's that called?

325
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,000
Well, here's the thing.

326
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,000
When I dug it up, it was all filled with,

327
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000
it was filthy dirty, you know.

328
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,000
I had to bring it into the house and put it under the sink.

329
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,000
And then put it in your ass.

330
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,000
Like one of those Mexican, like, novella movies.

331
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000
Yeah.

332
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,000
The sun starts shining.

333
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,000
The lady finds the dildo and the bushes,

334
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,000
but it's buried on the dirt.

335
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,000
Thought it was a buried treasure.

336
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,000
Yeah.

337
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,000
It was. What are you talking about?

338
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,000
It was. When he found it,

339
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000
I was like, the mic hit the tip and he kissed it.

340
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000
And he ascended to heaven.

341
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,000
If you could only re-wide

342
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000
of what the dildo seen.

343
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000
So, it's all the gay listeners

344
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000
will know that you're a fucking homophobe.

345
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,000
Who is?

346
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,000
You are.

347
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,000
Why would you say that?

348
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,000
You're afraid of fags.

349
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,000
Hey, if they're, oh man, what do you do?

350
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,000
That's what it means.

351
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,000
That's what homophobes are.

352
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,000
If they're like a pre-2005 homo,

353
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,000
I'm down.

354
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,000
In 2005, they're probably with the trans group

355
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000
and I'm not down.

356
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000
No, no, no, no, no.

357
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,000
I don't think the homos are with the trans group, man.

358
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,000
What did I say? Like, the older homos,

359
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000
dude, we're all the same.

360
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,000
Yeah. They just want to have a good time.

361
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,000
Yeah. The newer ones, no.

362
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,000
They just want to fucking cause trouble.

363
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,000
Yeah, exactly.

364
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000
They made shows about this.

365
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000
There's like that one with El Bundy.

366
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000
El Bundy?

367
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000
Where they made the Phenox normalize.

368
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,000
Yeah, that's what they do.

369
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000
They fucking indoctrinate us with all this stuff.

370
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,000
It's predictive programming.

371
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,000
And they make us fucking...

372
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000
It's a predictive programming.

373
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,000
It's just fucking hammering us with it.

374
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,000
They just saturate it with us.

375
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,000
And then fucking China keeps on doing the same.

376
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,000
They don't have tic-tac-clad in China.

377
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,000
Well, the Phenox though, the Phenox are Phenox.

378
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,000
I mean, they're just like us.

379
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,000
We just like different ass.

380
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,000
That's all.

381
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,000
When we went and saw the dead.

382
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,000
We were like, I'm not even in God's eyes.

383
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000
But that's another story.

384
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,000
If you want to look into the Bible.

385
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,000
I don't judge though. God can judge.

386
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000
No, I'm not judging either.

387
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000
They can fuck each other up the ass and go to hell all they want.

388
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000
You have to say that part, but that's okay, Larry.

389
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,000
You know, that's their thing.

390
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000
I'm gonna fucking...

391
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,000
I'm gonna keep on with God and fucking...

392
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,000
Sodomites are not fucking good.

393
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000
But that's why they normalize it and porn.

394
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000
That's why all these chicks getting fucked up the ass and everything.

395
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000
That's fucking disgusting, man.

396
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,000
Man, you're an old man.

397
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,000
No, I'm not an old man.

398
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,000
You know what?

399
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000
That's the problem, man.

400
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,000
The smell of shit isn't too appealing.

401
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000
Well, I mean, Jesus,

402
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000
crime-y kind of people are having anal sex with.

403
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,000
Here.

404
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,000
The smell of shit isn't appealing.

405
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,000
It's not.

406
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000
I mean, I don't know what you guys are doing, but that is an egregious statement.

407
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,000
There's a thing though, if you do that.

408
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,000
What's a thing, Larry? Please tell me what you like to try.

409
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,000
I get a girl that do that.

410
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000
When you fuck somebody and smells like pussy,

411
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000
what do you think is gonna happen when you fuck them in the ass?

412
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000
It's gonna smell like ass.

413
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,000
Unless they're porn stars.

414
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,000
Right, and then they're running forward and they fucking...

415
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,000
Then they fast it for it and don't have any shit in their ass.

416
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,000
First of all, listen, if you're dating a girl

417
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,000
that is not clean, then you will be able to tell right away.

418
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,000
Dude.

419
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000
And if you keep dating her...

420
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,000
Oh, man.

421
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,000
Come on, you guys aren't stupid.

422
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,000
Whatever, man. He sounds like a fucking nun right now.

423
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000
Who's the funer?

424
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,000
I sound like a nun right now.

425
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,000
I'm talking about pussy and all this shit.

426
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,000
And I sound like a nun.

427
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,000
It doesn't sound very good.

428
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000
I gave a girl a ride home from Vegas

429
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000
and she turned a heat-seater on.

430
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,000
Oh, lord.

431
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,000
It smelled like a fish frying the car.

432
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,000
Aw, man.

433
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000
We started looking like guys in the backseat.

434
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000
We started looking at each other like...

435
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,000
Can't this bitch smell her own shit?

436
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
No, we kept turning it off and she was turning it on.

437
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000
And like, are you serious?

438
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000
We didn't smell her own shit.

439
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000
Oh, dude.

440
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,000
I was burning the car after that.

441
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,000
Oh, dude.

442
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000
That's the one thing that...

443
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,000
You had to go buy one of them little trees and shit.

444
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,000
One of them?

445
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,000
Oh, man.

446
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,000
It was melted into the cloth.

447
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000
I had to buy a tree factory, man.

448
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,000
It was... oh, lord.

449
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,000
I hired a detailer to smell them all over.

450
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,000
Even a detailer shook his head, man.

451
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000
What was she wearing, man?

452
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000
Oh, she's a...

453
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000
No way.

454
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,000
No way.

455
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000
She brought some fucking over-border disease, man.

456
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,000
El Stanko.

457
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000
That's another thing.

458
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,000
There's seven of these people over there.

459
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,000
No, this wasn't even from the border.

460
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,000
I think she was actually fucking Iraqi.

461
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,000
Iraqi?

462
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,000
Yeah, I think what they called.

463
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,000
Dude, did I not date an enemy?

464
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,000
No, I wasn't dating.

465
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,000
I'll never forget.

466
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,000
I went to Iran for a business trip.

467
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,000
Yeah.

468
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,000
This was Vegas.

469
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000
Yeah, even worse.

470
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,000
A business trip in Vegas.

471
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,000
Literally.

472
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,000
You all got the sting.

473
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,000
The Texas sting.

474
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000
Yeah, this was a sting.

475
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,000
The Texas taco.

476
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000
The gift that keeps on giving.

477
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000
I don't know about that.

478
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000
The gift that keeps on stinging.

479
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000
So did you have cloth seeds?

480
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,000
Oh, thank God.

481
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000
I was just joking when I said cloth seeds.

482
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,000
That's all the pictures.

483
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,000
Because they had a heater.

484
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000
I had cloth seeds.

485
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,000
I had to be careful who took my car.

486
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,000
Jesus, man.

487
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,000
I ain't cooking no fish for it in here.

488
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,000
Just some street walker with a fucking vinegar puss.

489
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,000
I'm not letting no one in my car.

490
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000
Vinegar puss.

491
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000
I picked up everybody's...

492
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,000
I don't let them in my car.

493
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,000
They'll blow me through the window.

494
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000
I was in the car the other day, hitchhiking.

495
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000
And he goes, aren't you a little...

496
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,000
The other day?

497
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000
And he goes, aren't you a little afraid?

498
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,000
I might be a serial killer.

499
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000
I said, the chance of two serial killers in the car

500
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000
at the same time are fucking astronomical.

501
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,000
That's ridiculous, I told them.

502
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,000
That is a good one.

503
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,000
I was trying to midget to play the drum.

504
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000
And then I pointed.

505
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000
Thumbs down.

506
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,000
For those of you that aren't fucking watching

507
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000
on the fucking picture system,

508
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,000
I'm flipping needles off.

509
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,000
Speaking of vinegar puss,

510
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,000
you remember that story?

511
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000
Who's vinegar puss?

512
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000
It was me, you, Ronnie, and Leemann.

513
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,000
R.I.P. and Leemann.

514
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,000
Butter sticks.

515
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,000
What the hell did we just see?

516
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000
I don't know.

517
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,000
Was it the Pantera show?

518
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000
I don't know. I came and remember.

519
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,000
We were right by United Center.

520
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000
And if anybody that's from the Chicago area,

521
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000
they know that's a real nice area.

522
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000
Yeah, it was even nicer back then.

523
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,000
Yeah, it was better for which one.

524
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,000
There was a black lady walking the streets.

525
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,000
A street walker, shall we call her?

526
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Yeah, we nicknamed her vinegar puss.

527
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,000
Was it summertime or winter?

528
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,000
It smelled like it was, man.

529
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,000
It smelled like it was a hot day in the summer.

530
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,000
It probably was the summer,

531
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,000
but it was like nine degrees below zero.

532
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000
No, man.

533
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,000
It was horrible.

534
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,000
And all of a sudden she gets in the car like,

535
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,000
whoa, you got this.

536
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000
And she gets in the car like, whoa,

537
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,000
you got to go.

538
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,000
Right, like immediately, like, no, you got to go.

539
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,000
But our buddy,

540
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,000
our buddy bit of butter sticks.

541
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Wait, hold on a second.

542
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,000
He was down.

543
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
And it was the worst thing.

544
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000
He was driving, too.

545
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,000
We were in the back seat.

546
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,000
That's why we got stuck there.

547
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,000
No, hell no. Get the hell out.

548
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,000
And she's like, next time I'll be clean.

549
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000
I'll be cleaner for you boys.

550
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000
Oh, man.

551
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000
I'm so gross.

552
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,000
No, no, no. Here's the story.

553
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,000
So she pulls her pants down

554
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000
in her underwear.

555
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000
And we get out of the car.

556
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000
Because it smelled so bad.

557
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,000
We were gagging.

558
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,000
Oh, man. That is so fucking gross.

559
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,000
And then he didn't drive home

560
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,000
with us just ripping out.

561
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,000
I'm so pissed.

562
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000
He's like, wait a minute. I'll do it.

563
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,000
He's like, no, I'm good.

564
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000
I'm good.

565
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,000
Oh, man.

566
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,000
And I'm talking this lit, man.

567
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,000
And she got the nickname

568
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,000
vinegar puss.

569
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,000
And that was being nice.

570
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000
Yeah.

571
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,000
But the next time she's next time

572
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000
I'll be more cleave view boys.

573
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,000
Oh, man. That is so fucking gross.

574
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,000
Dude.

575
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,000
It was that.

576
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,000
What are the grossest times of my life?

577
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,000
What are those moments when you realize

578
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,000
you're not willing to do with your wiener

579
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000
and what you're not willing to do with your wiener?

580
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,000
The only prostitutes that's awakening you.

581
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000
That is fucking gross.

582
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000
This is where I draw the line.

583
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,000
I am not going to put a wiener

584
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,000
in this street hooker

585
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,000
on Cicero Avenue.

586
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,000
In a full condom.

587
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000
Hasmets who wouldn't do it.

588
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,000
Hell no.

589
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,000
No. But here's the deal though.

590
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,000
When he had sex in the car and she sat down

591
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,000
it smelled.

592
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,000
It stinks before me though.

593
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,000
When she got in the car we all knew

594
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000
we were like oh my.

595
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000
We didn't let it like we were like

596
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,000
we weren't like being coy about it.

597
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,000
We were like what the fuck is that stink.

598
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,000
She pulls her pants down and sits on the front seat bare ass dude.

599
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,000
Oh, fucking.

600
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,000
You gotta have a whore towel.

601
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000
You gotta drive home with it.

602
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000
You still say have a whore towel in your car.

603
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000
I think my Leemons said so.

604
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,000
Was that my Leemons car?

605
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000
I don't know.

606
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000
Oh my god.

607
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,000
It was this mom's car.

608
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000
You guys go to lobster fucking

609
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000
or what is it called?

610
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,000
You guys go to lobster.

611
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,000
Oh my god.

612
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,000
Dude that car had to stink.

613
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,000
Like.

614
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,000
Oh my lord.

615
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000
I think we were like riding with her heads out the window

616
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,000
on the way home from the city.

617
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000
That is fucking so gross man.

618
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,000
No it was horrendous dude.

619
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000
I'll never forget that.

620
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000
We were like oh my god.

621
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000
We were like get the fuck to here.

622
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,000
It was a complete street walk.

623
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,000
You know what I mean?

624
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000
A fucking bomb.

625
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,000
She was like crawling.

626
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,000
I don't even know if she was walking.

627
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000
Oh my lord.

628
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000
She was a fucking crawler.

629
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,000
She left a snail trail on the street dude.

630
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,000
That is so fucking gross man.

631
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,000
In that her boys day.

632
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,000
RIP Leemons.

633
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,000
RIP Buttersticks Bob.

634
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
He was proud man.

635
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000
He'd still be proud to this day.

636
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000
No man.

637
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000
Dude wasn't he banging like the underage neighbor too?

638
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,000
Jesus man.

639
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,000
Well he was dead so we could say it.

640
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000
No.

641
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,000
Let's say yeah.

642
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,000
He cares.

643
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,000
God will judge man.

644
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,000
He was proud of that shit.

645
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,000
How about this?

646
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,000
This is the best story man.

647
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000
Leemons calling me all the time

648
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,000
and he'd want to get weed

649
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000
and his brother would want weed for me too.

650
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,000
Oh so you do?

651
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,000
Yeah.

652
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,000
So then one day

653
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,000
he dies of course.

654
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,000
We all know that.

655
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,000
RIP Buttersticks.

656
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,000
About a month later I get a phone call

657
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,000
from his phone number.

658
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,000
Oh that's why I remember this.

659
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,000
Yes man.

660
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,000
I'm thinking it's his brother

661
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,000
and I knew that they lived way out in the fucking

662
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,000
McHenry or something.

663
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,000
Whatever man.

664
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,000
The fucking guy's dead.

665
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,000
I mean shit.

666
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,000
We can give out his social security number

667
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,000
at this fucking point.

668
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,000
He's dead dude.

669
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,000
So I get a phone call

670
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,000
and it's

671
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,000
Leemons number and I'm thinking

672
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,000
it must be his brother using his phone.

673
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,000
Hey man can I come over

674
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,000
and cop some weed and I'm like yeah sure dude whatever.

675
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,000
I think it's a dead guy's phone

676
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,000
but that's fine.

677
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
And then this guy comes to my door

678
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,000
and it's this guy Charlie.

679
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000
A guy I know as well.

680
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,000
And I'm like hey man what's up

681
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000
and he's like what are you doing here.

682
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,000
I just fucking called you and I'm like

683
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,000
oh wow that was you.

684
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000
I'm thinking it's going to take him

685
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,000
at least an hour to get to me.

686
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
And I'm

687
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000
just like holy shit.

688
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000
A guy that I know they croaked

689
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,000
and another guy that I know

690
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,000
had his fucking phone number.

691
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,000
That's fucking crazy.

692
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,000
Because his number was still in my phone.

693
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,000
That's crazy.

694
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,000
That is a wild fucking story.

695
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,000
That is. It was pretty fucked up.

696
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,000
And you know I just thought maybe

697
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000
oh it's his brother and he's probably

698
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,000
just still has his phone or something.

699
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,000
Did I ever tell you this story

700
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000
when I went with

701
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000
Turbo. Harvesting your memories.

702
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,000
We went to see a Jackie the Jokeman.

703
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,000
Jackie the Jokeman.

704
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,000
A man couch radio show.

705
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,000
He's a Canadian.

706
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,000
Well Jackie the Jokeman was the guy

707
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,000
that was at Howard Stern.

708
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000
Yeah he was a very good comedian. Old school comedian.

709
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,000
So we got tickets

710
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,000
and we got to the show

711
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,000
we saw Lehman's big brother there.

712
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,000
He was a big boy.

713
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000
When he said big brother he said

714
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,000
Lehman's brother.

715
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,000
Mike.

716
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Oh shit man.

717
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000
We were just naming everybody.

718
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,000
And the first joke

719
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000
Jackie the Jokeman comes out

720
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000
and he's like look at this man.

721
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,000
Oh my god.

722
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,000
He's a big son of a bitch.

723
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,000
Dude he used to fight

724
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,000
but he was a big son of a bitch.

725
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,000
They would be fighting on the front yard.

726
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000
In the garage.

727
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,000
Did you ever talk about

728
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,000
your specimens you left there?

729
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,000
Maybe. Probably not.

730
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,000
Dude.

731
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000
What did Niels do this low life?

732
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,000
I nicknamed Lehman's house

733
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,000
the armpit of Maple Street

734
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000
because it was right at the Dicturn.

735
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000
It was a bend.

736
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000
It was basically the armpit of Maple Street.

737
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000
Oh my god.

738
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
His mom would come in and we'd all be doped.

739
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
You have your pants off.

740
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,000
Yeah.

741
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,000
Because I would take my pants off and I'd be saying

742
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,000
sweat my ass over the winter time.

743
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,000
I'd be sitting in my fucking

744
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,000
tiny whiteies.

745
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,000
Well we'd all be all fucked up

746
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,000
and they'd be like

747
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,000
but you know how leaving was.

748
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,000
He was a slob.

749
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,000
He'd have left over spaghetti

750
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,000
from five days ago, six days ago

751
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,000
and he'd leave the room to go to the bathroom

752
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,000
like with a poor bunch of fucking

753
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,000
I'd take a plastic cup

754
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,000
and whatever was in the room

755
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000
he'd mix it all together

756
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,000
and he'd go hide it

757
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,000
and deposit.

758
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,000
It was a specimen A3-5-4-2-1.

759
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,000
They had names for him.

760
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,000
All over the place.

761
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000
And then all of a sudden like four to five weeks down the road

762
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000
it would start

763
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,000
stinking like all fucking garbage

764
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,000
dump in his room.

765
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,000
What the fuck is going on?

766
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,000
Where'd you guys hide this?

767
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,000
Because he would know we'd fucking

768
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000
hide specimens

769
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,000
in his closet.

770
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,000
But he would never find them and he'd just get lazy

771
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000
and be like fuck it.

772
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,000
And it would just stink in there.

773
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,000
That time I took a full jar of Parmesan cheese

774
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000
and stuck it under his water bag

775
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,000
and turned it into a hole.

776
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,000
We pulled the water bag back

777
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,000
and it just fucking dumped in there

778
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,000
and turned it into a hole.

779
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,000
Oh my god.

780
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,000
It turned into a hole like 120.

781
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,000
Take it.

782
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,000
Oh my god.

783
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,000
It just stunk.

784
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,000
What the fuck is the bad time?

785
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,000
Why does it stink like rank cheese?

786
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,000
What the fuck, man?

787
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,000
Dude, it was so bad.

788
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,000
It was bad because we would

789
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000
hang out there.

790
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,000
Why would you do that to yourself?

791
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,000
I found another specimen.

792
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,000
Because you were in the trap house.

793
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,000
You were in the trap house.

794
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Everybody would come down to the window

795
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,000
every time we were by we.

796
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,000
If you wanted to come in or you wanted to buy drugs

797
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,000
you came in the window.

798
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,000
And I'd be sitting in my undies.

799
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,000
But then on Sunday...

800
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,000
It was a big elongated ranch

801
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000
and it had four bedrooms

802
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,000
three on one side

803
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,000
the kitchen was in the middle

804
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000
and then big mic was on the end

805
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,000
and then the garage was right next to big mic.

806
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,000
So...

807
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,000
Excuse me.

808
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,000
Granted, it was in the middle of a subdivision

809
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,000
of residential houses

810
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,000
and people would come up every 15 to 20 minutes.

811
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,000
I aimed to buy and drugs.

812
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,000
I just bring nitrous.

813
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,000
If we didn't want to let you in, we wouldn't let you in.

814
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,000
I used to bring nitrous to his house.

815
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,000
He had a shot in the back.

816
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000
Oh, man.

817
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000
I remember he got a pet snake

818
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,000
and he had it for like four days.

819
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,000
I was like,

820
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,000
the snake is disappearing.

821
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,000
Like, yeah.

822
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,000
Somebody left the top open

823
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,000
and he heard it and he nodded out.

824
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,000
Yeah. It's probably still living in the house.

825
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000
That thing's dead. He found it.

826
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,000
It was in a vent somewhere.

827
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,000
Oh, man.

828
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,000
Yeah, R.P. Ma Lehmann

829
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,000
chews the shit.

830
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,000
He's gone? Probably.

831
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,000
Yeah, he really chews.

832
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,000
Ma Barker.

833
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Yeah, she's gone.

834
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000
She got machine gun down on that last bank robbery.

835
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,000
Oh, no. He had a grandpa.

836
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,000
No, his grandpa.

837
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000
Holy shit.

838
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,000
We'd be all fucked up.

839
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,000
And he had to be in his 80s.

840
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,000
Oh, yeah, dude.

841
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,000
Yeah, he would just shit his pants.

842
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000
Yeah, he'd have to go change grandpa.

843
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,000
Oh, man.

844
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000
Well, especially when his mom would come in

845
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,000
and come in and come in and come out from work.

846
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,000
She was a good salesperson.

847
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,000
I figured pharmaceutical.

848
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,000
She looked like Mama Cass.

849
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,000
But she would come in,

850
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,000
all of us would be fucked up,

851
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,000
fucking sitting there smoking rocks out of a socket.

852
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,000
Oh, my God.

853
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,000
Greg, I don't care what's going on.

854
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,000
Everybody's gotta go.

855
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,000
Oh, man.

856
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,000
Is that what she'd say?

857
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,000
No, yeah, we'd be smoking shit.

858
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Well, she wouldn't say, I don't care what he would say,

859
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,000
but she'd like, everybody's gotta go.

860
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,000
Because it'd be late at night and she'd get a work in the morning.

861
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,000
We're just fucking degenerates watching like Beavis and Butthead and shit.

862
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,000
We're fucking teaching Chong.

863
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,000
Yeah.

864
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,000
Which is very funny.

865
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,000
People kept knocking at the window.

866
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,000
All night long.

867
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,000
All night long.

868
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,000
Man, I'd say,

869
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,000
what was he selling, crack?

870
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,000
No, no, no, people would come over and bring stuff.

871
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,000
I'd be like, get the fuck out of here.

872
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,000
People would come over and bring stuff and want to party.

873
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,000
And then people would come over and want stuff

874
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,000
and then the people that were there partying would sell.

875
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000
You know what I mean?

876
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,000
It just turned into something that wasn't meant to be.

877
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,000
It turned into something that wasn't meant to be.

878
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,000
Doesn't it always?

879
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,000
He never left his broom.

880
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,000
Well, he did.

881
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,000
We'd go bowling all the time.

882
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,000
I guess he would. The Wayne Doodle.

883
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,000
Yeah.

884
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,000
That was his waterbed's name, the Wayne Doodle.

885
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,000
Man, that thing stunk so bad.

886
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,000
There he is.

887
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,000
Who is a waterbed as a teenager?

888
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,000
The stories that waterbed can tell.

889
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,000
That is so fucking gross.

890
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,000
Waterbeds are gross, man.

891
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000
You got to be like an 80's porn star.

892
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,000
You're really fucking good on a waterbed.

893
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,000
I don't think so.

894
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,000
You can't get really any...

895
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,000
You don't think so, dude.

896
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,000
No, I fucking...

897
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,000
I'm an old man.

898
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,000
I fucking had a fucking...

899
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,000
I had a girlfriend and a hand in waterbed.

900
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,000
Fucked her all the time.

901
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,000
You're a big boy now.

902
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,000
I'm just saying.

903
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,000
I guess you don't know how to fuck, I guess, is what it is.

904
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000
What is he doing?

905
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,000
You can't fucking waterbed, I'm saying.

906
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,000
I can.

907
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,000
It sounds like a threat.

908
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,000
I don't like that word.

909
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000
If you're asking for a cake...

910
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,000
I'm like, whoa, man.

911
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,000
What a fucking...

912
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000
Yeah, no, you can get some good moves.

913
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000
Yeah, dude, you don't know how to fuck, I guess.

914
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,000
No, I don't.

915
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,000
I really don't, man.

916
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000
Do they still make them things?

917
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000
Who knows? Who would fucking ever buy a waterbed?

918
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,000
It's terrible to sleep on.

919
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000
We would always end up in the middle of the thing in the morning.

920
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,000
Everyone's jammed in the fucking middle.

921
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,000
Dude, it's a fucking big hot water bottle.

922
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,000
Everyone. How many people are you sleeping with?

923
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,000
Yeah.

924
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000
Captain Rockstar.

925
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000
I don't want to say something, but that's fine.

926
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,000
Whatever.

927
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,000
A fucking waterbed.

928
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,000
Just a weird one of those fucking inventions.

929
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,000
It's like, ah, so now you just have water in your room.

930
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,000
In a big bath.

931
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,000
But it just floods the fucking room.

932
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,000
You know what?

933
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,000
We ran at a waterbed and it popped.

934
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000
That's more like it.

935
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,000
That's more government sci-ops shit right there.

936
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,000
Here's a waterbed.

937
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000
Try sleeping on this.

938
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,000
You'll be so uncomfortable.

939
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,000
You won't even be able to believe it.

940
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000
You can bang on it, though.

941
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,000
That's the thing.

942
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,000
It's better if you're banging and sleeping.

943
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,000
First of all,

944
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000
here's the thing.

945
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,000
Let me explain it to you.

946
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,000
Oh, explain it to me, Larry.

947
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:22,000
When you're fucking down and your knees are touching wood,

948
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,000
you're just looking at it.

949
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,000
And the chick's ass is propelled up.

950
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000
Oh.

951
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,000
Because it's like a built-in pillow under her ass.

952
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,000
Chick, I'm sure, and quotes.

953
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,000
Whatever.

954
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,000
Anyways, you're an idiot.

955
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,000
And you don't know what's going on.

956
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,000
That's how it works.

957
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,000
That's the problem.

958
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,000
You're not going to tell your story anymore.

959
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,000
I just explained it, you fucking dummy.

960
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,000
Your knee displaces the fucking thing

961
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,000
and the fucking bed goes higher like a thing.

962
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,000
And it's like having a pillow under their ass

963
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,000
and you could really fucking batter, actually.

964
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,000
You fucking dummy.

965
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,000
I had a girlfriend that had one, dude.

966
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,000
She had a fucking one.

967
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,000
It really didn't like that he stared at me right in my eyes.

968
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,000
Because you're the one going,

969
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000
what is over the, how does it work?

970
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,000
I don't know, have you ever fucking banged a chick?

971
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,000
He'd be more perverted.

972
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000
Yeah, he tries to kiss me.

973
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,000
Oh, shoot, Larry.

974
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,000
You got all caught up in your eye, Gwuh.

975
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,000
No, I had a buddy that still has a waterbump.

976
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,000
Oh, man.

977
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,000
Really? Oh, yeah, he's a...

978
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,000
He's got a wheelchair.

979
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,000
He's like almost 60.

980
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,000
See?

981
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,000
What kind of drugs does he do?

982
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:34,000
Shoot, did you hear that, Larry?

983
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,000
This guy doesn't know where he's at.

984
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,000
I think he's fucking swimming.

985
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,000
That's how it works.

986
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,000
When you have a waterbed, you think you're swimming all the time.

987
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000
Dude, we should go film a podcast

988
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000
walking into like mattress fucking Americas or something.

989
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,000
Where's your waterbed?

990
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,000
I'm gonna be like, what?

991
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,000
Or we should just go find the water.

992
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,000
We could find it.

993
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,000
Somebody's got a sewed waterbed.

994
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,000
To do what with it?

995
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,000
I don't need no fucking waterbed here.

996
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000
I'm not sure we're gonna do the video somewhere else.

997
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,000
You want a waterbed now?

998
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,000
I haven't laid in a waterbed.

999
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,000
So we're in a gold chain.

1000
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000
I remember when we were kids.

1001
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,000
My cousin had a waterbed,

1002
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,000
like a king-size waterbed,

1003
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,000
just the fucking bag part, though,

1004
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,000
without the frame and shit.

1005
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,000
On the ground?

1006
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,000
On the ground, in a basement.

1007
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,000
Bladder.

1008
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,000
Waiting to fucking make a bath.

1009
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,000
So when we were kids, we were going down there.

1010
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,000
100 gallons, fucking.

1011
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,000
So he would go down there and fight.

1012
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,000
We were kids and throw each other into this fucking thing.

1013
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,000
Or jump up, run and jump on.

1014
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,000
I was with this kid that owned the bed.

1015
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,000
He was 10 years older than me.

1016
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000
So how old were you at this time?

1017
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,000
So he was probably 20.

1018
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,000
Yeah.

1019
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,000
He just bang and push.

1020
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,000
And I'm probably 10.

1021
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,000
I get a rash.

1022
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,000
I think he was already fucking...

1023
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,000
I think it was just in his basement.

1024
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,000
Yeah, it sounds even worse.

1025
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,000
No, it was his own house.

1026
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,000
He was already fucking buried.

1027
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,000
Oh, even worse, he got a waterbed in the bed.

1028
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,000
Was it like shackles?

1029
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,000
No.

1030
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,000
It was just weird.

1031
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,000
We used to fucking jump on it and fucking run and jump on it.

1032
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,000
Yeah, man.

1033
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000
And it was fun.

1034
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,000
Yeah, right.

1035
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,000
I can see as a kid.

1036
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,000
Playing on some weirdo sex toy.

1037
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,000
That's basically the worst.

1038
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,000
Why is it my family doing it?

1039
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000
Why is it my cousin doing it?

1040
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000
Why is it a fucking weirdo sex toy all the time?

1041
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,000
It must be how you live, man.

1042
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,000
I'm not even thinking like that.

1043
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,000
Well, in Mike's defense.

1044
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,000
I mean, that's where he's sleeping, right?

1045
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000
If you're having a two-sided bladder in your basement,

1046
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,000
just lay in there like something's going on.

1047
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,000
Yeah, we're gonna take it.

1048
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,000
You just said it's up, but you just said it pushes them up.

1049
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,000
But here's the thing, there was no frame on this fucking thing.

1050
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,000
Exactly.

1051
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,000
You couldn't even lay on it.

1052
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,000
Dude, we were just jumping on it as kids.

1053
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,000
It was like down there for him.

1054
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,000
I don't know.

1055
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,000
Yeah, they have to have a way with women and whores problems.

1056
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,000
Dude, he was fucking...

1057
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,000
I like this guy.

1058
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,000
He was married, you fucking idiot.

1059
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,000
Oh, they did his wife there, then, okay.

1060
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,000
Maybe he had a swing or he had to put a pineapple on his card.

1061
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,000
You're an idiot.

1062
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,000
Why am I an idiot, man?

1063
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,000
Just a star.

1064
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,000
That's where I'm going to go to change it up a little bit.

1065
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,000
Totally disparaging my character for no reason.

1066
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,000
There's a reason.

1067
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,000
She would put on the cheerleader outfit.

1068
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,000
Supreme Court of Larian Needles now?

1069
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,000
You're gonna get slapped because that's how you're talking.

1070
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,000
You're fucking right I am.

1071
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000
Yeah, that's what I said.

1072
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,000
You're gonna get slapped right in the fucking channel.

1073
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,000
No, I am the supreme court.

1074
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,000
I'll choke him with that cool if you want me to.

1075
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,000
It's all right.

1076
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000
Look at him. He doesn't know where he's coming from.

1077
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000
Get up any time, motherfucker.

1078
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,000
Stand up.

1079
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,000
These paps actually ain't too bad.

1080
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,000
I haven't had a beer in a while.

1081
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,000
Are you kidding me?

1082
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,000
One of the greatest things you could do.

1083
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,000
My sinuses usually fuck up with beers.

1084
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,000
They're not doing too bad.

1085
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,000
I guess if you're not doing blow it helps.

1086
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,000
That's a statement to live by.

1087
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,000
Paps is very good.

1088
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,000
And then you do blow with it.

1089
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,000
That's all right.

1090
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,000
Doesn't clear your sinuses.

1091
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,000
Any of those kind of beers?

1092
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,000
What's that?

1093
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,000
Paps, hams, Miller's, fucking old style.

1094
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,000
Grain belts, fucking Genesee.

1095
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,000
All the junk that's local in all the places.

1096
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,000
And all the real cheap shit.

1097
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000
It's all good.

1098
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,000
It's all shwill, right?

1099
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,000
Yeah, that's the best shit.

1100
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,000
They're just killing us with all this shit, man.

1101
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,000
All this IPA bullshit.

1102
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,000
It's an overpriced fucking suicide.

1103
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaking of bullshit.

1104
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,000
I heard all the processed food

1105
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,000
bullshit we eat.

1106
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,000
I don't know if it was per week or per month.

1107
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,000
We can eat a credit card size

1108
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,000
amount of microplastics

1109
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,000
for the amount of processed food we eat.

1110
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,000
Holy fuck.

1111
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,000
Because all the cows and the pigs

1112
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,000
and all the shit we eat.

1113
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,000
All the plastics they eat.

1114
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,000
So all the microplastics we eat

1115
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,000
depending on how much processed food you eat

1116
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,000
you can eat a credit card size

1117
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,000
amount of plastic.

1118
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000
It was either a week or a month.

1119
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,000
Either way, that's an astronomical amount.

1120
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,000
Yeah, that's a lot of fucking plastic.

1121
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,000
Who would think that plastic is in our food?

1122
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,000
Everybody.

1123
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,000
But isn't that the craziest statement you've ever heard?

1124
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,000
But what does fucked up?

1125
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,000
It's like, hey, you guys are eating plastic

1126
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,000
in the food that we give you

1127
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,000
that is regulated by the government, the USDA.

1128
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,000
And we're feeding it to you.

1129
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,000
We were talking about regulations on rat shit

1130
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,000
and how much you can have.

1131
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,000
Then I get.

1132
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,000
That's different, though.

1133
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,000
That's delicious.

1134
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,000
See now this is okay.

1135
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,000
No, but that's not me, dude.

1136
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,000
No, rats are gonna shit.

1137
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000
Dude, fecal might be gonna shit.

1138
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,000
You shouldn't have rats in a food plant.

1139
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,000
But this shit happens.

1140
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,000
What the fuck happens is

1141
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,000
you know how many restaurants you go to

1142
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,000
where the walls are filled with emojis?

1143
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,000
Oh, yeah, because they're working them in shit.

1144
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,000
But the problem is that the inspector

1145
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,000
fucking lets you get away with one thing.

1146
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,000
Well, yeah, they get paid off.

1147
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,000
But the plastics that they feed these animals.

1148
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,000
The plastics that they feed this shit.

1149
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,000
I've seen the feed, too.

1150
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,000
I've seen videos where they show the feed with plastics in it.

1151
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000
And here's the other thing, man.

1152
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,000
That's not good, man.

1153
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,000
Here's the other thing.

1154
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,000
That was one of the reasons that they said

1155
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,000
that the chickens weren't able to have the eggs

1156
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,000
because they were so high full of plastics

1157
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,000
and they weren't just able to fucking lay eggs.

1158
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,000
Yeah, I remember when they were talking

1159
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,000
about all that egg-shorted shit.

1160
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,000
Oh, yeah.

1161
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,000
And then some supply chain bullshit

1162
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,000
smoke screen and then some other

1163
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,000
bullshit shit.

1164
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,000
And it's like, no, motherfucker,

1165
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,000
they're feeding our animals plastic.

1166
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000
Dude, I forget the name of an author.

1167
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,000
She's written a book.

1168
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,000
Ever since we've started feeding

1169
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,000
our animals all this process bullshit plastics,

1170
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,000
male testosterone levels have gone down

1171
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,000
and the taint

1172
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,000
are getting shorter.

1173
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,000
The taints are getting shorter on animals.

1174
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,000
Like cows and pigs are getting shorter.

1175
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,000
They're talking about this shit.

1176
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,000
No, it's true, man.

1177
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,000
It's true.

1178
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,000
No, it's true, man.

1179
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,000
But yeah.

1180
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,000
Well, because Alex Jones is right.

1181
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,000
But no, but it's fucking up everything.

1182
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,000
It's fucking crazy.

1183
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,000
No, this ain't only Alex Jones.

1184
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,000
Yeah, and this ain't only Alex Jones shit.

1185
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000
This is some shit no shirt Nick told me.

1186
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,000
And he would never listen to Alex Jones

1187
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,000
and he thinks everything I say

1188
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,000
is bullshit and a conspiracy.

1189
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,000
But oh, yeah, ever since that we've been

1190
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,000
like testosterone levels have been going down.

1191
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,000
That is a true fact.

1192
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,000
And since all from the plastic

1193
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,000
Taint levels are getting shorter.

1194
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,000
I love how you're using your fingers

1195
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,000
to approximate the size of a taint.

1196
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,000
The space between the antole

1197
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,000
and the fucking genitals are getting

1198
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,000
fucking shorter.

1199
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,000
Both.

1200
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000
But the amount of chemicals

1201
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,000
that they pump into us, the amount of chemicals

1202
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,000
think about that, the amount of chemicals

1203
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,000
that we mix in a house, literally is a cleaning lady.

1204
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,000
Who knows what's next.

1205
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,000
I hate it. I fucking, I don't want to.

1206
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,000
Do you ever see the interview with Bill Gates

1207
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,000
where he talks about everybody loves trees.

1208
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,000
Do you plant trees?

1209
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,000
He's like, no, I do not plant trees.

1210
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000
He's like, why don't you listen to the

1211
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,000
would you rather listen to the scientists

1212
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,000
or the heretics, you know, it's like,

1213
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,000
you're not a scientist.

1214
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,000
Bill Gates is just a shill.

1215
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,000
He fucking thinks he's a guy.

1216
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,000
He's a cuckoo.

1217
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000
He's just a shill. He's nobody.

1218
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,000
The people that you have to worry about

1219
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,000
he's definitely somebody.

1220
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,000
Yeah, that's the thing.

1221
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,000
Anybody with that kind of money could do a lot of

1222
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,000
fucking damage.

1223
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,000
I think he has more control than the government.

1224
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,000
He's got more money.

1225
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,000
Dude, he can control what he wants.

1226
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,000
It's not even that the government controls him.

1227
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,000
Think about that. They have more guns than Bill Gates

1228
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,000
will ever have. They can come in and swarm his ass.

1229
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,000
Because Bill Gates is going to form a revolution

1230
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,000
against.

1231
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,000
Because he pays those fucking politicians big money.

1232
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,000
And they keep him in check.

1233
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,000
That's what they do.

1234
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,000
Nobody keeps him in check.

1235
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,000
Nobody keeps anybody in check.

1236
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,000
Bullshit. You're going to tell me.

1237
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,000
No, Niels, listen, dummy, all these motherfuckers

1238
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,000
are off the hook.

1239
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,000
That sounds like fighting shit.

1240
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,000
Yeah, it is.

1241
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,000
Listen, all these motherfuckers, nobody's keeping

1242
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,000
nobody in check.

1243
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,000
Look at the guy holding himself in the leather jacket

1244
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,000
like he's cold.

1245
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,000
Nobody's keeping anybody in check because...

1246
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,000
You want my shirt?

1247
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,000
Dude, it's okay.

1248
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,000
The rest of the motherfuckers are all crooked.

1249
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,000
So nobody's...

1250
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,000
Anybody that would be keeping the guys in check

1251
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,000
need to be kept in check too.

1252
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,000
Why is that? I don't understand.

1253
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,000
What do you mean why is that?

1254
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,000
I don't understand what you...

1255
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,000
I'm not going to keep you.

1256
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000
But I understand that.

1257
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000
I mean, listen...

1258
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,000
You know, it's like the...

1259
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:48,000
The fox is watching the hen house.

1260
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,000
I mean, who's keeping who in check?

1261
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,000
That's a great analogy.

1262
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,000
What the fuck is this, 1932?

1263
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,000
I'll watch the whorehouse.

1264
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000
Yeah, exactly.

1265
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,000
It's like the John watching the whorehouse.

1266
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,000
Where's the whorehouse?

1267
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,000
Right in the right direction.

1268
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,000
He pulls his credit card out.

1269
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,000
Charge it to Larry Jones.

1270
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,000
Yeah.

1271
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,000
Oh, Lordy.

1272
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,000
I forgot my rubbers.

1273
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,000
Bear back in hookers.

1274
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,000
You're going to have a rough paper route, boss.

1275
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,000
Yeah, you're just...

1276
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,000
You're asking for trouble.

1277
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,000
Anybody you bear back is...

1278
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,000
Two things you don't do.

1279
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,000
Like a doorknob, bathroom.

1280
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,000
The AIDS thing.

1281
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,000
And beg a whore without a rubber.

1282
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,000
The second one, the latter is the first one.

1283
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,000
They do call it that.

1284
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,000
I've never... Well, I don't even want to get into it.

1285
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,000
You've never walked into it.

1286
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,000
No, yeah. That too.

1287
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,000
It's okay.

1288
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,000
It's okay, Larry.

1289
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,000
I'll tell you guys...

1290
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,000
Yeah, I was on tour in Prague.

1291
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,000
No, I'm telling you the cameras are out.

1292
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,000
I'm telling you the cameras are out.

1293
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,000
My first trip.

1294
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,000
Yeah, let me tell you. My first IPA.

1295
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,000
Yeah.

1296
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,000
I'll tell you when the cameras are out.

1297
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,000
Yeah, oh yeah. I bet you you will.

1298
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,000
Very sultry story about it.

1299
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,000
I'll tell a story about it.

1300
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,000
We got lucky with our extravaganza

1301
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,000
back in the day.

1302
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,000
Because nowadays, I feel sorry for the young kids, man.

1303
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,000
The problem is we get older

1304
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,000
and I would realize that shit is so fucked up

1305
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,000
and we can't do anything about it.

1306
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,000
Like, what are we gonna do?

1307
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,000
Here's the other thing, though.

1308
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,000
What do you think a fucking little thin layer

1309
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,000
of rubber is gonna really protect you

1310
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,000
from what the fuck that shit has going on

1311
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000
up inside of there?

1312
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,000
Jesus, man, you are a real pervert, man.

1313
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,000
But just to understand...

1314
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:40,000
Have you never fucking banged a chicken?

1315
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,000
And you're looking at fucking rubber shredded

1316
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,000
and all you got is the ring and you're like,

1317
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,000
oh fuck.

1318
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,000
Why is there so sexual all of a sudden?

1319
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,000
Well, here's the thing, though.

1320
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,000
It seems like you don't know what's going on.

1321
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,000
Sometimes you realize it feels too good to be true.

1322
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,000
Yeah, yeah.

1323
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000
And while I'm just saying,

1324
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,000
you can be careful of everything

1325
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,000
and you think a fucking thin layer of rubber

1326
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,000
is really gonna protect you

1327
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,000
from whatever that takes action.

1328
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,000
Larry's gonna monster dog this dude.

1329
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,000
No, man, don't do that when you say that.

1330
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,000
What are you doing, man?

1331
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,000
What are you two fernooks up to

1332
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,000
when I'm not around, man?

1333
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,000
Jesus Christ.

1334
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,000
Oh, don't use the fucking...

1335
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,000
I can't even trust my friends, man.

1336
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,000
You can trust us.

1337
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,000
No, I can't, obviously.

1338
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,000
Just don't kiss us.

1339
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,000
Yeah, I don't want to.

1340
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,000
I don't even want to be involved

1341
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,000
in any of that shenanigans.

1342
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,000
This fucking guy...

1343
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,000
He looks like a fucking biker Freddie Mercury.

1344
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,000
It's not a fucking bulletproof vest,

1345
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,000
is all I'm saying.

1346
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,000
What? The condom, you know?

1347
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,000
Well, no, hey.

1348
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,000
He had the invention...

1349
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,000
You had the invention back in, like, 1995.

1350
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,000
The mudflap.

1351
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,000
And then rubber.

1352
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,000
A mudflap to protect your balls.

1353
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,000
Yeah, this is the mudflap.

1354
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,000
I'm like, dude, that's the best invention I've ever heard.

1355
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,000
You gotta protect your boys.

1356
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,000
Because your boys are slapping all free and shit.

1357
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,000
Fucking...

1358
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,000
How long ago was this?

1359
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,000
Yeah, back in the 90s, dude.

1360
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,000
Yeah, the mudflap.

1361
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,000
I thought that was the best idea.

1362
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,000
I was getting ready to pitch troaching.

1363
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,000
I'm like, holy shit, that's golf.

1364
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,000
You have 70 sands on.

1365
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,000
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

1366
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,000
Oh, neck off.

1367
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,000
Or a naked lady's golf.

1368
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,000
Or a naked lady's golf.

1369
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,000
Or you could make the naked lady one.

1370
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,000
Yeah.

1371
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,000
There's lots of options.

1372
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,000
There's the hillbilly truck.

1373
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,000
There's lots of options.

1374
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,000
There's the hillbilly truck or mudflap.

1375
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,000
Yeah, lots of options, man.

1376
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,000
Mudflaps.

1377
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,000
Yeah, I did.

1378
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,000
You could have a Confederate flag on one of them.

1379
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,000
Fuck.

1380
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,000
They still don't have it.

1381
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,000
I don't get it.

1382
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,000
Well, they make dental dams and bullshit like that.

1383
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,000
But I'm sure they have a nut sack holder or something.

1384
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,000
I don't know.

1385
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,000
What's a dental dam?

1386
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,000
You being serious?

1387
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,000
I don't like that.

1388
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,000
What the fuck is this?

1389
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,000
Dude, watch out.

1390
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,000
Get your elbows ready, man.

1391
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,000
Touchy.

1392
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,000
Man.

1393
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,000
Oh, look at that.

1394
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,000
That's how he likes it.

1395
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,000
A little IDF.

1396
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,000
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

1397
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,000
Dental dam.

1398
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,000
I keep giving money to people that don't deserve it.

1399
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,000
Dude, we went to...

1400
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,000
What's a dental dam?

1401
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,000
Stick it in your mouth.

1402
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,000
Take a face mask.

1403
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,000
I got a story about a dental dam.

1404
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,000
So we were in Vegas for a bachelor party.

1405
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,000
My buddy that didn't get much puss

1406
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,000
got a hooker.

1407
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,000
And all of a sudden,

1408
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,000
she said, I wanted to eat her out.

1409
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,000
Which is red flag number one.

1410
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,000
No, that's for his character.

1411
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,000
Yeah, but he wanted to...

1412
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,000
Diminishes it.

1413
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,000
He's like, yeah, she made me use a female condom,

1414
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,000
which is a dental dam.

1415
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,000
And he's like, so I was eating her out.

1416
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,000
And then I saw her rifling money out of my...

1417
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,000
Ha ha ha ha.

1418
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,000
While I was eating her out.

1419
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,000
Wow.

1420
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,000
So he's like, I put it onto that real quick.

1421
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,000
Yeah, if you haven't been ripped off by a prostitute,

1422
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,000
you haven't been living.

1423
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,000
That's a code to go by.

1424
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,000
That's definitely a man code.

1425
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,000
It was kind of funny though.

1426
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,000
It was funny how he admitted it, talking about it.

1427
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,000
Well, that's the best part. You can tell your boy shit.

1428
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,000
Yeah, exactly.

1429
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,000
It was a prostitute.

1430
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,000
Yeah, but I don't know if you want to go spreading around

1431
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,000
that you're licking the pussy.

1432
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,000
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

1433
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,000
It was a dental dam.

1434
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,000
It was a dental dam.

1435
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,000
What is it? Exactly.

1436
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,000
So it's like a female...

1437
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,000
Let's say you put saran wrap on the box, I guess.

1438
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,000
I've never seen one.

1439
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,000
It looks like an N95 mask.

1440
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,000
And then it has like a little slit in the middle

1441
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,000
where you put your tongue in.

1442
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,000
To actually get to the pussy?

1443
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,000
To get to the middle by the pussy?

1444
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,000
Not even vertical, horizontal.

1445
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,000
And so it's opposable.

1446
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,000
So it's for Chinese girls?

1447
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,000
Yeah.

1448
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,000
But it's not even...

1449
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,000
Wait, so it actually gives them access to it?

1450
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,000
Yeah.

1451
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,000
So it's not sealed?

1452
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,000
So you're getting...

1453
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:18,000
What do you mean it's sealed? It's a woman.

1454
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,000
So it's not like a regular condom.

1455
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,000
You're getting actual skin to skin.

1456
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,000
It's not a condom, Larry.

1457
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:26,000
So you're getting skin to skin contact?

1458
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,000
No, you're not.

1459
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,000
Oh, so you're not? Jesus Christ, Larry.

1460
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,000
You're not understanding.

1461
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,000
The way you're explaining it, you're saying there's a slit in there.

1462
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:38,000
A dental dam is meant to separate skin from skin contact.

1463
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,000
Let's start at that point.

1464
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,000
That would have been better.

1465
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,000
It would have been better if you started there.

1466
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,000
I acknowledge that. Thank you, Larry.

1467
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,000
You're still a fanook.

1468
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,000
Inventions like that shit,

1469
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,000
I mean, does it really matter?

1470
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:58,000
Who pulls out a dental dam on the street and tries to toots out?

1471
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,000
Who even wants to do that in the first place?

1472
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,000
Exactly.

1473
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,000
Well, I mean, I know a lot of people.

1474
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,000
Yeah.

1475
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,000
That's how I wonder, yeah.

1476
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,000
Drugs do a lot of crazy things, right?

1477
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,000
That's true.

1478
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,000
I mean, come on, when you're whacked out of your mind,

1479
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,000
you don't know what's going on.

1480
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,000
No, you know what's going on.

1481
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,000
Man, I know what's going on when I'm whacked out of my mind.

1482
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,000
Yeah, I bet.

1483
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,000
You're whacked off on your meat.

1484
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,000
And here's the thing, if I'm not whacked out

1485
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,000
or I don't know what's going on,

1486
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,000
I'm not in the mood to fucking remember what's going on anyway,

1487
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,000
because I'm probably not having a good time.

1488
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,000
You better off, you don't want to remember.

1489
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,000
I'm probably more fucking like those zombies you'd see.

1490
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,000
Yeah, you're more in tune with the fucking person.

1491
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,000
It's more in tune with being folded up

1492
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,000
like a fucking lawn chair.

1493
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,000
No, hopefully you don't wake up with the gift

1494
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,000
that keeps on giving her on your face.

1495
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,000
Herpes.

1496
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,000
Man, again, Jesus, dude.

1497
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,000
Dude, taking some drinks down for what?

1498
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,000
I'm sorry.

1499
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,000
You guys kiss for another minute.

1500
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,000
You guys make out for a while.

1501
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,000
We'll send you the video.

1502
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,000
What time are we at?

1503
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,000
We're 51 minutes, man.

1504
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,000
Oh, shit, man.

1505
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,000
This is a good time for me to mention.

1506
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,000
Let's do our shout-outs, okay?

1507
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,000
So, we're going to do a little bit of a video

1508
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,000
and we're going to do a little bit of a video

1509
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,000
and we're going to do a little bit of a video

1510
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,000
and we're going to do a little bit of a video.

1511
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,000
Let's do our shout-outs, okay?

1512
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,000
Time's free, clinic.

1513
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,000
No, no, no, no. Hey, slow down, ass clown.

1514
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,000
Shout-out to NoShirtNix for that true dope.

1515
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,000
Pick me. I love you, bro.

1516
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,000
You are an amazing artist.

1517
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,000
We love you, man.

1518
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,000
Also, I want to say, on New Year's Eve,

1519
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,000
man, you're still gay in Florida.

1520
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,000
There's a show called Caraboo Heart TV

1521
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,000
and it's a live YouTube TV show

1522
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,000
and we're going to be playing it.

1523
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,000
I'm talking about right now.

1524
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,000
I'm talking about the people we love

1525
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,000
and you're going to do this.

1526
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:52,000
Dude, Larry, man, I wish I had something to throw at you.

1527
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,000
Okay, come on, Larry. Let's go move, man.

1528
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000
You can keep talking, motherfucker,

1529
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,000
just because I'm showing that.

1530
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,000
Oh, man.

1531
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,000
Let's do not. You're a fucking idiot.

1532
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,000
You're a fucking idiot.

1533
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,000
Just for the people that don't understand

1534
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,000
my fucking fake Italian.

1535
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,000
Oh, man, I'll see you in a minute.

1536
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,000
So, let's see, Chris.

1537
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,000
Love you, Jay.

1538
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,000
Yeah.

1539
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,000
Man, you're just that...

1540
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,000
You know what? Here's my thing, man.

1541
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:22,000
What's your thing, Larry?

1542
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,000
Whoever's listening, we love you.

1543
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,000
Yeah, we do love you more than anything.

1544
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,000
I'm not going to give any more personal shoutouts, man,

1545
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,000
until I get...

1546
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,000
What do you mean?

1547
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,000
If they fucking email us or something.

1548
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,000
Why are you being such a scrooge for love?

1549
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,000
I'm not being a scrooge.

1550
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,000
You can't keep out love.

1551
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,000
So you're just going to hold it in?

1552
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,000
Love is meant to be given away.

1553
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,000
Oh, you know what we should do?

1554
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,000
Because we recorded two episodes tonight.

1555
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,000
No, you're a loveless bastard.

1556
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,000
We should say today is New Year's.

1557
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,000
Oh, happy New Year's.

1558
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,000
So, do you ask Clown that on New Year's Eve?

1559
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,000
No, we'll pretend it's New Year's Eve right now.

1560
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,000
Hey, happy New Year.

1561
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,000
Larry's sucking another dick.

1562
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,000
Pretend it's New Year's.

1563
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,000
So, we can show this episode on New Year's Eve.

1564
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,000
No, we'll do New Year's episode.

1565
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,000
It's New Year's.

1566
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:12,000
Okay, in Chicago.

1567
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:14,000
It's going to go up to YouTube when we publish it tonight.

1568
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,000
But we could wait and put this one up on New Year's Eve.

1569
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:22,000
Whatever you fucking dummy.

1570
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,000
Jesus, man, the amount of weed that you put into your brain

1571
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,000
really decomposes it.

1572
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,000
Okay.

1573
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,000
Yeah.

1574
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,000
You know what I hear?

1575
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,000
You guys start kissing and watching to see if it's coming out.

1576
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,000
Kids fast down here.

1577
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,000
Let me tell you.

1578
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,000
All we do is yell at each other and call each other names.

1579
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,000
Because he's a fucking fanok.

1580
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,000
Oh, man.

1581
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,000
No, man, I'm not a fanok.

1582
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,000
I didn't say anything, man.

1583
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,000
I'm saying it's your swipe.

1584
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,000
What?

1585
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:56,000
Tells us swipe.

1586
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,000
I know.

1587
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,000
That was the one we used to use when we were kids.

1588
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,000
I don't know what you're even explaining what it was.

1589
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,000
Yeah, we're too old for you to introduce me stuff, Larry.

1590
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,000
Keep it in the closet, you old man.

1591
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,000
You know there was a Larry O'Gee?

1592
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,000
Shoutouts or no?

1593
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,000
I know. I'm going to change my name to Larry Katachronic, I think.

1594
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,000
Oh, man, I get fucking 57% now.

1595
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,000
Because I might not.

1596
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,000
Yeah, you'll get more percentage.

1597
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:24,000
Because I might not...

1598
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,000
Nothing.

1599
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,000
Spotify and all these things.

1600
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,000
And I got a lot of albums up there on the Larry O'Gee.

1601
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,000
And then there's this other black rapper dude named Larry O'Gee.

1602
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:34,000
So you're going to give it away?

1603
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,000
She's doing a collaboration with us.

1604
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,000
Here's the thing, man. I'm not looking to fucking...

1605
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,000
Oh, that's a pretty good idea.

1606
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,000
I guarantee you're an original Larry O'Gee.

1607
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:44,000
You're an original Fanuk.

1608
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,000
O.G. Fanuk.

1609
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,000
I'm an O.G., for sure.

1610
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,000
But I don't want to start no gang shit either with these guys.

1611
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,000
Because they are fucking real G's.

1612
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,000
See, I'm just an O.G. musician.

1613
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,000
These guys are O.G. gangsters.

1614
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:58,000
Larry O'Gee is threatening the other O.G.

1615
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,000
He's probably...

1616
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,000
I don't want to fucking be like one of these...

1617
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,000
He don't know where you're at.

1618
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,000
Oh, I'll tell him the address.

1619
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,000
Let me hit that Larry.

1620
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,000
You just got done saying how my fucking brain is all decomposed.

1621
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:12,000
Yeah, because you keep smoking weed.

1622
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,000
And then you keep smoking weed.

1623
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,000
You're damn right.

1624
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,000
You know you want to hit.

1625
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,000
You shouldn't sit there and know you're all being decomposed.

1626
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,000
Larry here every time.

1627
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:24,000
It's weird not smoking weed anymore.

1628
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,000
Yeah, it's funny that we just passed a joint in front of him.

1629
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:28,000
He's a fucking weirdo.

1630
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:30,000
Yeah, it's funny that we just passed a joint in front of him.

1631
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,000
I used to smoke weed all day every day.

1632
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:34,000
Alright, so we're not doing a fucking hit.

1633
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,000
That's what I do to the girls.

1634
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,000
I used to grow weed all day every day.

1635
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:40,000
I'll show you what I do to the girls.

1636
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,000
You're gonna have to.

1637
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,000
You're gonna use your smoke like a fucking toilet.

1638
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,000
Yes, he got me like that.

1639
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,000
Look at him laughing.

1640
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:52,000
He's like, is that for free?

1641
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,000
No, that's Mary for somebody.

1642
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:58,000
I'm gonna suffocate.

1643
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:00,000
Do you ever watch South Park?

1644
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:02,000
Yes, I have seen that.

1645
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,000
That is a good one.

1646
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,000
I haven't seen it.

1647
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:08,000
I even saw the movie.

1648
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:10,000
That's one of the movies I have seen.

1649
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,000
Do you see the episode where they had the boy band

1650
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,000
and their song is called Finger Bang?

1651
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,000
Finger Bang.

1652
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,000
Finger Bang.

1653
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,000
Which is just, I mean, you're such children.

1654
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,000
This is what you're bringing up.

1655
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,000
We're talking about a band.

1656
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:26,000
A band of the former.

1657
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:28,000
You're like, have you ever seen an episode

1658
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,000
in South Park when children are talking

1659
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:32,000
about Finger Bang?

1660
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,000
Have you ever seen an episode where you six

1661
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:36,000
are like the Mexican immigrants from the movies?

1662
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,000
Well, that's the thing. It's just all,

1663
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:40,000
South Park is all part of the South.

1664
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:42,000
Shoot the tacos, shoot the tacos.

1665
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,000
It's all PsyOps.

1666
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,000
South Park is a big part of the PsyOps.

1667
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,000
Those two fruitcakes, Tray Parker and Marker Parker

1668
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,000
and whatever the fuck their names are.

1669
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:52,000
We're gonna kiss them. We can make that a fucking injury.

1670
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,000
They're probably fucking really bad

1671
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,000
for people and they're the ones that have done

1672
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,000
fire.

1673
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,000
Look at this all drained.

1674
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,000
It's all white and shit.

1675
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:04,000
Dude, you look like a vampire.

1676
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,000
That's what happens when you get old.

1677
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,000
Dude, you really, look at how pale he is, man.

1678
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,000
You need some iron, bitch.

1679
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,000
Fuck.

1680
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,000
Mays will throw some

1681
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,000
potassium in there, too.

1682
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,000
No, we need to fucking

1683
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,000
total multi-vitamin.

1684
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,000
Total multi-vitamin.

1685
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,000
I'm sorry, anal.

1686
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,000
His laugh is even like a vampire.

1687
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,000
You know what I mean.

1688
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,000
One dick.

1689
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,000
Two dicks.

1690
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:34,000
Three dicks.

1691
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,000
Okay, here's my breakdown.

1692
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,000
Here's my breakdown.

1693
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:40,000
Here's my breakdown.

1694
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:42,000
And you have a tuna.

1695
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,000
I know.

1696
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:46,000
No, listen to this, man.

1697
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,000
You wanna hear my breakdown assessment?

1698
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,000
Oh, tell me your breakdown of flash dance.

1699
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:52,000
Him doing that vampire

1700
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:54,000
flash dance? No.

1701
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:56,000
Dude, really? Listen to this, I was in a band

1702
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,000
for a short time. What's this, though?

1703
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,000
Let me tell you something.

1704
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,000
I was in a band with a kid that we just

1705
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,000
wracked his hands.

1706
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,000
His sister was in the fucking

1707
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:08,000
she was the girl in flash dance.

1708
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,000
I was in a band with a kid

1709
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,000
who was a real dark and his older sister

1710
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:14,000
was the girl that was in the movie.

1711
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:16,000
The head girl?

1712
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,000
She lived in Chicago, I guess.

1713
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:20,000
So you want three people to get to her?

1714
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,000
No, I knew her brother.

1715
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:24,000
Did you get to sniff some pants? No, I didn't

1716
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:26,000
get anything off her.

1717
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,000
What about her last chance at your boat?

1718
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,000
No. You don't, really?

1719
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:32,000
No, I never saw it.

1720
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,000
Come on, man.

1721
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:36,000
This chick hooks up with these boat racers.

1722
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,000
And it's just the fuck out of here.

1723
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,000
No, I'm being serious, man.

1724
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,000
I was trying to think of flash racers.

1725
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,000
They race cigarette boats, man.

1726
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,000
What they like to do is they meet her at the strip club.

1727
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,000
Because they're called flash dancers.

1728
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,000
She was a flashing broad.

1729
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:52,000
So then they fucking go down

1730
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,000
to the strip club and they meet this broad.

1731
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:56,000
And what she does, she likes to do this thing

1732
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:58,000
where she lets people pee at her.

1733
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,000
Bullshit.

1734
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:02,000
Yeah, they dump buckets of pee at her.

1735
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:04,000
It was a good movie.

1736
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:06,000
That's such bullshit.

1737
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:10,000
Turns out she ends up liking the pee.

1738
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:12,000
Yeah.

1739
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,000
She's a little bit of a fan of potatoes.

1740
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:16,000
So she has to dance for fucking money

1741
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:18,000
to pay for her treatment.

1742
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:24,000
All right. I want to thank Tom's free clinic.

1743
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:26,000
It did help flash dance.

1744
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,000
And her heart teed.

1745
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,000
Veterinarian and automotive service.

1746
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:32,000
And I mean, they've,

1747
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,000
I bring my cats there for shots.

1748
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:36,000
And I go there for shots, too.

1749
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,000
Yeah.

1750
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,000
Modern day Frankenstein.

1751
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:42,000
They're like,

1752
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:44,000
I'm gonna take a shot.

1753
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:46,000
Oh, God.

1754
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:48,000
I knew I'd get

1755
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:50,000
with the leather pick.

1756
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:52,000
You made her in monster.

1757
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:54,000
I finally put

1758
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:56,000
the correlation together.

1759
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:58,000
Yeah, I need an oil change in my car.

1760
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,000
Oh, I bet you can use the boys

1761
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,000
down with Larry.

1762
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:04,000
They'll check your oil.

1763
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,000
Oh, they do.

1764
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:08,000
Yeah, make sure your plugs are firm.

1765
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:10,000
I just work with this Mexican guy.

1766
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,000
And I, you know,

1767
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:14,000
we would do hardwood floors and I'd always be the fucking asshole.

1768
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:16,000
They'd be bending over in the corner

1769
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:18,000
doing all the hard work.

1770
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,000
Oh, man.

1771
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,000
I don't know what you just admitted to.

1772
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,000
Yeah.

1773
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:26,000
You know, here's how it works.

1774
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,000
Well, if you, well,

1775
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:30,000
because you might not know how fucking...

1776
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:32,000
Yeah, you might not know how construction site works.

1777
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:34,000
You didn't say sanding floors.

1778
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,000
They didn't say cleaning the walls.

1779
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:38,000
I did say sanding floors.

1780
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:40,000
No, you said you worked for a city company.

1781
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:42,000
So we would, no, we would put a man in the corner.

1782
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,000
But here's what we would do.

1783
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:46,000
I just never do it.

1784
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,000
Anyways.

1785
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,000
Like, what happened?

1786
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:52,000
So what happened?

1787
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,000
Let him get it out first.

1788
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,000
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

1789
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,000
So anyways,

1790
01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:00,000
you know, I would always be doing the harder work.

1791
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:02,000
Edging the edges with the smaller machine

1792
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:04,000
where you got to be bent over

1793
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,000
fucking laboring.

1794
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:08,000
And the boss is the guy doing the fucking

1795
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:10,000
middle section that you're standing on.

1796
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,000
Yeah, the floors.

1797
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:14,000
You know, he's not going to do all the hard work.

1798
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,000
Yeah, hell no.

1799
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:18,000
And I'd be bending over doing all this work.

1800
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,000
He'd always stick the,

1801
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:22,000
he'd always stick the fucking broomstick up my ass

1802
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:24,000
and go, Court low, Court low.

1803
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,000
Court low.

1804
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,000
Yeah, he'd say.

1805
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:30,000
Court low.

1806
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:32,000
Yeah, he was getting hungry for lunchtime.

1807
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:34,000
And then he was a funny guy.

1808
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,000
He woke up with a lunchbox next to me.

1809
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,000
With a 20.

1810
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,000
Not even.

1811
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,000
He's not going to pay Larry.

1812
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:44,000
He wasn't that good.

1813
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:46,000
He just laid there.

1814
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,000
That's the fun of working in the trades.

1815
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:50,000
Being the apprentice.

1816
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,000
But this is fucking fun.

1817
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:54,000
I mean, Larry has a job in 30 fucking years.

1818
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:56,000
Well, check this out though.

1819
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,000
I got fired from that job for being terrible

1820
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:00,000
and then fucking,

1821
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:02,000
he said, I can't handle this.

1822
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:04,000
The two-set on his paychecks.

1823
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:06,000
They didn't memo.

1824
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,000
Comedic value.

1825
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:10,000
No, he told me on the phone.

1826
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:12,000
It was like a week and a half, two weeks later,

1827
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:14,000
he's like, I can't stand this new fucking guy.

1828
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:16,000
He just, he's good and everything.

1829
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:18,000
He's way better than you.

1830
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:20,000
But he just doesn't make me laugh

1831
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:22,000
and shit all day.

1832
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:24,000
And he's like, fuck it.

1833
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:26,000
I'm going to ruin my business by hiring a guy.

1834
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:28,000
But you know, he would just squirre.

1835
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:30,000
He would just squirre all day

1836
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:32,000
and doesn't know what he's doing.

1837
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:34,000
I worked, man.

1838
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,000
When I met work, dude, I worked hard.

1839
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:38,000
I worked hard, man.

1840
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:40,000
Yeah, but you do.

1841
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:42,000
Fuck you.

1842
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:44,000
Man, Larry, that sounds like a threat.

1843
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:46,000
I'll tell you what, yeah.

1844
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:48,000
I love the YouTube videos of fucking with apprentices.

1845
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:50,000
We're like the one where there are no,

1846
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:52,000
whatever floor building they're on.

1847
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,000
They can have a can.

1848
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:56,000
And the guy each kick it.

1849
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:58,000
The guy fucking kicks it and he falls.

1850
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:00,000
Because he thought it was a pipe.

1851
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,000
Yeah, he kicks the fuck out of a pretty photo.

1852
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,000
Yeah, he probably broke his foot,

1853
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,000
but it was funny as fuck.

1854
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:08,000
How hard did he kick that fucker?

1855
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:10,000
He kicked it hard because he took a dive after him.

1856
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,000
Were other people kicking it hard?

1857
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,000
Well, no, they set up three cups.

1858
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:16,000
They set up three cups.

1859
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,000
Oh, I see.

1860
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:20,000
Each person kicks one.

1861
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,000
Kicks it hard and goes flying.

1862
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:24,000
The last one is actually a pipe.

1863
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,000
And the apprentice boots it.

1864
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,000
And he fucking just falls through his face.

1865
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:30,000
Which, technically, you just have to look at the line

1866
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:32,000
of where the plumbing's going in the wall.

1867
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:34,000
Exactly.

1868
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,000
These are apprentices.

1869
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,000
Yeah, no, but it's funny shit.

1870
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:40,000
It is very funny.

1871
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:42,000
And then they hurt themselves.

1872
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:44,000
And here we go again about how the government

1873
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:46,000
has controlled our brains.

1874
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:48,000
Desensitizing us to bullshit like that.

1875
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:50,000
People hurting themselves.

1876
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,000
I mean, the fucking lawsuits

1877
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:54,000
again against Pornhub,

1878
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:56,000
which is funny.

1879
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:58,000
I like the Polish videos on YouTube.

1880
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,000
Where the guys like jumping

1881
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:02,000
off a building into a small pool.

1882
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:04,000
They're trying to jump a car

1883
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:06,000
into another building.

1884
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,000
And then the car just fucking

1885
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,000
drops right off the building.

1886
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:12,000
Do they give it anything in the fucking...

1887
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,000
And they all survive. Eastern block.

1888
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:16,000
They do whatever they want.

1889
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,000
It's a wild west.

1890
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:20,000
Dogs jump up like 20 story buildings

1891
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:22,000
and fucking take a spilt.

1892
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:24,000
Yeah, yeah. So do cats and...

1893
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,000
Yeah, animals sometimes.

1894
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,000
What time are we at Larry?

1895
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:30,000
I've been to Poland. It is crazy there,

1896
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:32,000
but I haven't seen anybody...

1897
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:34,000
Oh my God, the chicks are so fucking hot

1898
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,000
in Poland, man.

1899
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:38,000
They're really good looking, actually.

1900
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:40,000
And it's weird because the guys were pretty much

1901
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:42,000
not that good looking.

1902
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:44,000
So...

1903
01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:46,000
I had 50% of the good time needles.

1904
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:48,000
Okay, thanks for calling me out.

1905
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:50,000
The chicks were hot, but the guys weren't

1906
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:52,000
as cute as I like them.

1907
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:54,000
They were svelte, right?

1908
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,000
They were. And you know what else, man?

1909
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:58,000
Those motherfuckers could put down some vodka

1910
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:00,000
and they had some great...

1911
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,000
Some of the best weed I ever smoked

1912
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,000
was in Poland, believe it or not.

1913
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:06,000
You've been smoking some shitty weed.

1914
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:08,000
How does this... Well, no, I had...

1915
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:10,000
No, dude, they had some... What was this, back in the day?

1916
01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:12,000
This was like

1917
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:14,000
2011, 2009,

1918
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:16,000
before the whole fucking...

1919
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:18,000
Migration of marijuana.

1920
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,000
Before we had it here, legal.

1921
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:22,000
Pollocks on fucking roads?

1922
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:24,000
Yeah, and they would always say it's from

1923
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,000
Holland, but everyone in Poland...

1924
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,000
Everyone in all of Europe, though,

1925
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:30,000
says that.

1926
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:32,000
Well, because it probably was.

1927
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:34,000
You know, there's...

1928
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:36,000
What is it, October Fest?

1929
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,000
They have drinking competitions,

1930
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:40,000
but they won't allow

1931
01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:42,000
older people from Wisconsin

1932
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:44,000
to compete.

1933
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:46,000
It's a very...

1934
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,000
That's a very...

1935
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:50,000
That's an old discrimination.

1936
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:52,000
Technically, right?

1937
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:54,000
The Germans realize that

1938
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:56,000
the Wisconsin old fuckers,

1939
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:58,000
they can fucking put them down better

1940
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:00,000
than anybody.

1941
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,000
Well, they do. If you look at the map,

1942
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:04,000
the drunkest cities

1943
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,000
per capita...

1944
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:08,000
Oh, dude, Wisconsin hands down.

1945
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,000
Nice.

1946
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:12,000
You look at a map, you're like, holy Christ.

1947
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:14,000
You just look straight at Wisconsin.

1948
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:16,000
Yeah. So, in October Fest,

1949
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,000
they won't let...

1950
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:20,000
I've gotten pretty drunk in Wisconsin myself.

1951
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:22,000
They won't let them compete.

1952
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:24,000
I love Wisconsin.

1953
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,000
She's hard to file a fucking lawsuit.

1954
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:28,000
Against Wisconsin?

1955
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:30,000
Against Germany.

1956
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:32,000
That's a hate.

1957
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:34,000
If they can drink, let them drink.

1958
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,000
But they don't care about discrimination

1959
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,000
and all that shit. They'll say, fuck you,

1960
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:40,000
we don't play those rules. You guys are pussies.

1961
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:42,000
You know, I'm a killer.

1962
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:44,000
You guys are a bunch of girl scouts.

1963
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:46,000
And I'm joking.

1964
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:48,000
You know.

1965
01:06:48,000 --> 01:06:50,000
And I would just like to say,

1966
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:52,000
we're not going to do a fucking...

1967
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:54,000
And again, don't forget about Tom's

1968
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:56,000
Reclinic and Veterinary and Automotive.

1969
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:58,000
And we're not going to do a fortune cook...

1970
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,000
Wait, is that here?

1971
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:02,000
If the rash on your ass

1972
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:04,000
started from your dirty gas,

1973
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:06,000
call Tom's Reclinic.

1974
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:08,000
Yeah. And we're not going to do

1975
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:10,000
a cooking 500, but I would like to say

1976
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,000
to our...

1977
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,000
I love it.

1978
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:16,000
I would like to say to our Oriental friends out there,

1979
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:18,000
very honorable.

1980
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:20,000
Music

1981
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:22,000
Listen up, round guy.

1982
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:24,000
That's coming up once a year.

1983
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:26,000
I'm not gonna be...

1984
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:28,000
Again, thanks for tuning in.

1985
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:30,000
We love you, peace. Follow, like, subscribe.

1986
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:32,000
I don't care.

1987
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:34,000
We are the leery... oh, man, look at all these little

1988
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,000
fucking notifications.

1989
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:38,000
Okay, okay.

1990
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:40,000
That's all it does.

1991
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:42,000
I know, I know, I know.

1992
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:44,000
AZT Prep, Prep, AZT.

1993
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:46,000
Later, later.

1994
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,000
Later.

1995
01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:50,000
They saw positive, they saw positive.

1996
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:52,000
They saw positive.

1997
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:54,000
They saw positive.

1998
01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:56,000
Motherfucker.

1999
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:58,000
Motherfucker.

2000
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:00,000
And then this thing always wants to...

2001
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:02,000
That's a driving-tour term. You know that, right?

2002
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:04,000
Yeah, what they would do is try to...

2003
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:06,000
No, wait a minute, maybe you should probably

2004
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,000
end the episode right before we get into that.

2005
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,000
I'm sure people know where Motherfucker came from.

2006
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:12,000
All right, cool.

2007
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:14,000
All right, let's end this bitch. Come on, man.

2008
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:16,000
Jesus, Larry.

2009
01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:18,000
All right, thanks for tuning in.

2010
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:20,000
Again, like I said...

2011
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,000
Are you closing out? Oh, yeah, you gotta do your thing.

2012
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:24,000
So I can put up the logo, man.

2013
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:26,000
Thank you for tuning into the Larry & Needle Show.

2014
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:28,000
Peace.

2015
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:32,000
Have a great night, y'all.

2016
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,000
Happy New Year.

2017
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:36,000
Happy New Year.

2018
01:08:36,000 --> 01:09:04,000
Larry & Needle Show.