Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.
And...
And Needles.
And...
And Needles.
Show.
Everybody, hey everybody, how's it going?
Welcome to the Larry and Needles show.
I'm Larry.
I'm Needles.
And it's really great to be here on this show right prior to Christmas.
Our Christmas show.
I hate the holidays, I really do.
Yeah.
It makes everybody that's already an asshole be even more of a bigger asshole.
Everybody pretends they're such a good person around this time.
Is that the vibe you're getting this year?
Oh, I get it every year. I hate the holidays.
Yeah, I can't stand Christmas. It's the worst holiday of the year.
Everybody's lost touch of what it's about.
I wouldn't think that the people are any more assholes though now than they are any rest of the time of the year.
Well, no, they're just pretending to be not assholes. That's the problem.
Oh.
I'm such a good person and look what I'm doing. I'm going to spend all this money.
People have lost touch with this. We're actually celebrating, right?
Yeah.
And if you look at the world around us, it really accentuates what a shithole that we're living in a country right now.
I'm really supposed to pretend that everything's all fucking cheery and great right now, but it's really not.
Man, what a joyous Christmas show this is going to be.
This is only the first two minutes of it. Let me really get into it.
But no, I can't, you know what I mean? I really hate the holidays. It's cruising my work schedule.
I'm under the gun enough as it is already.
Yeah.
It really doesn't, I mean, if you're really into Christmas and you don't have kids and you're an adult,
you're really dragged out of the street and beaten down.
Yeah. That's like an adult Disney person.
Well, those people are fucking weirdos.
Well, yeah, that's just that. It's like someone that loves Christmas that doesn't have kids.
But that's completely different, though. Those people actually get on a plane, spend money, go to Disney,
Disneyland, Disney World. I mean, this is, you can celebrate at home.
Oh, he's still got the whole.
People fucking, yeah. Remember I said we're going to smoke him on the thing, man?
Don't worry. The other one, go.
No, that's it. We had two.
Jokey.
This motherfucker wants to fight already.
I'm not, I'm too tired to fight.
Oh, but no.
Bullshit.
It pisses me off. It's like, so I work with this guy.
He doesn't work for my company, but he's a complete asshole. He really is.
Shit's, and everybody's perry. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
He's a Debbie Downer.
And I'm like walking out, and I got to work tomorrow.
And, you know, he's like bitching at some dude and he's like, oh, are you leaving?
I'm like, yeah, he's like, Merry Christmas.
I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Like you're yelling at this guy right here.
I'm like, you've completely lost what the Christmas spirit is.
Obviously, you're bankrupt internally, morally and morally and...
Was he serious though when he said Merry Christmas?
Yeah, he was stop screaming at the guy and he was like...
Yeah, he just turned, he just turned him because he knows better to do that bullshit.
I'll choke his ass out.
But it's like, you know, you see these people, okay, so let's get back to the people that are like...
The assholes that work.
Well, no, no, not the assholes that work, it's these people that celebrate the holidays.
Adult Disney people.
Well, but it's, I mean, we really lost sight and touch of what this is about, right?
I mean, it just shows, it just goes to show the decline in society of how we've lost our, you know what I mean?
You got to get right with God, that's the first thing.
And I hate to preach about that.
But in the end, I don't care if you believe it or not, we're all going to be judged in some sort of way.
And if you want to go through your life being a whole, told douchebag, then do that.
At the same time, don't pretend for one month out of the year that you're an honorable person.
They're very honorable.
And or...
One month.
For one month, I'd be honorable.
Well, just don't pretend, you know what I mean?
If you're going to be a dick, be a dick, 12 or 17 days.
11 months.
I'd be big A-H.
So you don't, 12 months out of the year, you're going to be a douchebag, be a douchebag.
Don't, you know.
And the worst thing is that these people have kids.
And I mean, granted, I have a child and...
He's not getting nothing, right?
There's a curmudgeon when it comes...what's that?
Is he getting anything for Christmas?
Oh, what do you mean is he getting shit for Christmas?
He gets...you know what, he gets stuff all year round.
And for Christmas, he gets things.
But I don't like to put on this whole of the societal pressure of that, you know, people need gifts and people deserve gifts.
Some people don't deserve shit.
Some people deserve a slap in the face.
Well, everybody should be very grateful that they don't get what they fucking deserve.
Well, it depends on what you're asking for.
Everybody.
You see these videos of people asking for...
I'm talking about God, motherfucker.
Huh?
Yeah.
I don't understand what you mean.
I'm just saying everybody should be grateful that they don't get what they actually fucking deserve.
Like what?
I'm talking about the wrath of God, what we really deserve with fucking dirtbags.
And everyone's so entitled that they're worried about, you know, Christmas and shit, but they miss the whole...
It's a shitty holiday.
...site of what it is.
Completely commercialized, it's bullshit, you know.
Like I said, I don't want to be a cramudgeon in a Grinch.
But you are.
No, I'm gonna be put on a fucking smile and do a tap dance for everybody and pretend it's a great day when they all know I don't think like that.
For my kid, though, I'll have a good time because I like to see the joy in his eyes of doing shit.
But at the same time, when you look around the world, the state of the world right now in the state of the United States, how the hell could you be happy for anything?
You know?
These people are...
But when you're a nine-year-old kid, you don't know that.
Well, yeah, I don't know.
It's not like I'm implementing my thoughts on, or my, you know, all my stuff on him.
But at the same time, it's like people are so unobservant of what's going on.
Like, oh, you know, everybody's happy and let's spend money and let's do all this bullshit.
It's all about being with your family and trying to get right with everybody.
And, you know, I look over...
Basically, I look at it as a reflection of the year.
I have not had the greatest year and it's all because of me. It's my fault of what I've done.
I'll tell you, man, to be honest, some of the most depressing times, but some of the best times were the Christmases and holidays that I missed when we would be with the band on tour and you miss your family.
But at the same time, you don't have to fucking deal with that.
And you get all this road sympathy from whoever you're hanging around with on those particular days.
You're all like, oh, you're away from home here and then they feed you.
Well, no, I'm just saying it's better to fucking be moved from it.
Not by your family. Yes. Not by your family.
You know, you're still getting love from people and then you're getting love from your family too.
They miss you. You know, you're just not there.
But isn't that what... What is the whole point of Christmas?
I think everybody's lost touch of that.
Like, what is... What really is it?
Is it just to shower people with gifts and try to win their love and affection?
Or is it going to be a nice fucking person all year round and then reflect on yourself at the end of the year
and be like, you know what, this was a pretty good person this year?
Well, the actual reason is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and, you know, that is what Christmas is.
Well, technically, he wasn't born during the winter.
No, and that's the thing. They took Christmas and they melded it with a pagan house.
A pagan holiday which incorporated, you know, they would worship this fucking tree.
And that's why we have the Christmas tree.
Which is another thing too.
So Christmas trees are bullshit. Me and my wife have never really done a Christmas tree.
A couple of years I did a guitar Christmas tree.
Once it ended up in Guitar World or Guitar Player Magazine.
One more thing, you know what I mean? It's just one more thing to portray that you're such a wholesome family.
Like you see these people that put up all these lights and they put up all these decorations and they put up all this crap.
And they go gone on.
What hole are you trying to fill? What are you trying to hide so much? I never trust those people.
Well, some people genuinely enjoy it and want to celebrate it.
And some people strictly don't know the meaning and do want to cash in on getting presents and gifts.
People get away with what you let them. That's the whole thing.
It should be. There was like this episode of Seinfeld where they, I know to bring it up,
but it was like they had this thing called Festivus and they did this thing where the airing of grievances.
Which is awesome. That's how it should be.
Believe it or not, that is one thing I've seen out of all the things that I haven't seen.
But it's because, you know, it's gonna come, it's gonna go. Shit's still gonna be horrible.
I was like, what do we really have to celebrate?
Well, you know, Christmas Day isn't gonna change.
You know, how things are going.
The illegals are still gonna be brought into this country.
Yes.
The government is still gonna be in shambles.
Ron Paul just, or Rand Paul just put out his list of, you know, the government spent $8,000
and the Pentagon spent like $9,000 on a fish tank.
Nice.
And like,
$38 million to study transgender monkeys.
Nice.
Like, it's appalling how these people get away with spending our money.
Because there's lots of transgender monkeys.
Well, you know what would be the greatest Christmas gifts if they didn't tax the hell out of us?
That would probably be the best Christmas gift if they actually, instead of twice a year, they sent us our own money back.
Right?
Obviously, they don't know what to do with it. I know what the fuck they do.
That would be nice.
They do. Yeah. You think that.
But that'll never happen.
Well, no, we can't. But there's gonna have to be an uprising.
That's what's gonna have to happen.
We can't let people keep getting away with this.
It's like paying for the, it's like getting the dope and then paying for it after you did it.
Not at all.
It's harder to pay for it. You know, the government's not gonna give back.
It's the government's saying.
They're not gonna give back money that they already fucking have in their procession.
Well, they do. I mean, we get our tax, we get taxes back.
I mean, I know you don't understand about that because you're sugar baby.
But they gotta have a special form for that.
Yeah, sugar baby form.
It's the decline of society, the way that things are going, that people, I mean, like,
we've lost sight and lost touch of so much shit.
The internet has completely bankrupted us morally and China has really infiltrated us
in what they're doing. I mean, these TikTok and Facebook and all this shit where it looks like.
I don't know if you, I think we were talking about this yesterday,
about the new trend of people are gonna stop paying taxes.
Yeah, yeah, I heard about that.
And they want to take all their money out of the banks because that's the way to get back to the government.
That's great. Geniuses.
Well, I didn't say these people were smart and they had an inkling of what's going on.
It's not gonna work though.
Well, it's not gonna work. You think people would come together and want to build this country up
rather than break it down in so many other ways.
You would think?
Societal standards are just shit right now.
People don't understand. There is no love.
Evil is winning.
You're really negative though, man. This is a Christmas episode.
I'm very negative. This is how Christmas episode should be.
Let me tell you something.
Still good people. I want to thank Kiki for giving me this vintage fucking joint that Neville needles are smoking right now.
Okay, I'm grateful for that.
How about Bobby bought us this microphone that looks like a crack pipe slash baby bottle.
Sounds real nice. That was sweet.
It's good to have people that love you and care about you.
I'm not morally bankrupt, but I'm not top echelon of...
I don't even know what that is though. I don't hurt people. I treat people how they want to be treated.
How I deem them to be treated. I don't fucking go out and hurt people.
You should...
I should what?
My old tactics were, you know, I'm a mirror of what I get.
I'm gonna give it to me shitty. I'm gonna look shitty right back.
I'm gonna be nice if you're nice.
You know, but here's the other thing. Now that I'm older, I don't do that tactic anymore.
I'm just... I kill them with kindness if they're shitty. I'm nice to them if they're...
Because you know what? Don't let it fucking get to you, man. Fuck them. Who cares?
I don't care. I just let her like a dog. Let her roll off my back.
I don't listen. If I don't need you in my life, I don't keep you in my life.
That's just another thing also. Keep your circle tight.
People you love in that circle and people you don't need that don't have anything to give to you.
Not fit, you know what I mean? Not like monetarily or anything like that.
If they don't make you a better person, then they shouldn't be around.
Because they're just dragging you down then. Right?
Yeah.
That's like a monkey on your back. You got a bad habit.
Did you hear that people? He just admitted that I make him a better person.
I didn't say that at all. I didn't call you out specifically.
Now you're just putting words literally in my mouth.
You know, if you don't hang around someone unless they make you a better person.
Listen, we have a contract. So I have to fulfill this contract to do this podcast with you.
It's recorded. It's recorded.
But no, it's like because I was driving by the mall and these people are just driving like animals.
Coming off the road. You know what I mean?
They're like coming away from the mall.
I mean, not all of them might be mall patrons, but very aggressive, very like everybody's in a rush.
Everybody, nobody, I think that anxiety, society anxiety is at a peak right now.
You know, there's not everybody. Nobody can, like I said, I work with this kid and kids 25 years old.
I literally, if I turn my back on this kid and I'm not in the same room with him, he's automatically on his phone.
Oh man.
Oh.
On fire is this.
Excuse me.
I was the boss and be like, okay, Junior.
Yeah, but we need a body right now and he's cheap labor.
Well, what does he do? How hard is it? Would it knock me out?
What's that?
Would it kill me if I did it?
Well, I mean, it wouldn't kill anybody. It's just, are you willing to do it?
Are you getting up at three o'clock in the morning and meeting us at four o'clock, you know, for the whole week?
That's what it is. And then working 12 hour days.
Depends, man, maybe.
Not that many people are willing to do that and for low pay because you're green.
And then, I mean, and that's a nothing.
Yeah, if you want to, man, I can get you a job. It's not that difficult, but it's just, just literally want to get up and go to work.
No, I'm just asking.
Yeah, exactly. No, you heard that on the camera.
I would come in and fucking, I would come in and fill in and do some labor, but I wouldn't, you know, I don't see the need for me to be there that early if I'm just some grunt.
Well, everybody has to be there. You just can't pick and choose your hours.
Right.
Well, yes, you know, you can't work. Look at your sugar baby mentality rising to the.
The cream always rises to the top.
No, it does not. Sometimes it sometimes it curls and it gets really nasty.
But no, I'm, you know what, I just, I just don't, you know, it's like a.
Well, Merry Christmas, needles.
It's like a Merry Christmas.
Too many Christmas people out there. I love you too, Niels.
And I'm very grateful for you and Mary and all my boys.
And you know, you gotta cheer up. And this is a time of the year when a lot of people do a lot of crazy, stupid things and they hurt themselves or even fuck themselves up.
Yeah, people are very depressed right now also.
So, you know.
Which I can understand. And, you know, and I, and I shall say that I do have a family and I have friends.
So I'm very grateful for that because some people don't have anybody.
And like you were just saying that this is a time in the month, the holidays are very tough for people.
So if you do something, what you're saying is it's going to say son, this is all because of your mother.
No.
In your note.
Oh, I don't know about that. I mean, some people don't even leave a note.
No, they always leave a note.
I don't know about that.
No, I mean, if you want to be, sometimes you shouldn't leave a note because it's even worse.
Well, you know what? The people I know did.
Okay, well, I'm sure that there's, you know, I don't know, I don't know what the statistics are for people that kill themselves every day.
But I would like to see how many leave notes and how many don't.
If you jump off a bridge, or maybe you leave it at home.
Yeah, I think most of them do.
Yeah, it's a temporary.
It's a permanent solution for a temporary problem.
Yeah, I know. I'm just saying though about the note thing.
So please, we love you. Don't harm yourself. Don't hurt yourself.
We'd rather have you see needles on the street and harm him.
Yeah. Shit's gonna pass. I dare you to. Please do it on a Christmas day.
Oh, I'm saying that.
But all my anger comes through an apex.
So, but I just think that the way, like I was saying, that society is just, it kind of dictates your mood also.
Like you could be a very happy person, but then you run into two or three douchebags in one day.
But here's another side of it though, a cheerier side.
Like you could think you're in a society where you can't do anything and you can't say anything.
And everyone's all politically correct and everything.
And then you're in a room with midget wrestlers and they say, this guy's from Boston.
And then he flips off the crowd and then the whole crowd gets a new chance.
Don't say it.
Boston, fang it.
Why did you say it? I just said don't say it and then you said it.
I'm just saying what they said.
I know, but I just specifically asked you not to say it.
Anyways.
Real Christmas-like, Larry. Jesus, love that one.
It was incredible.
That one's definitely gonna get us caught.
Another guy came and he's like from Brooklyn and they were like, fuck New York, fuck New York.
And then another, it was really a wonderful thing.
Me and Milos went and saw Midget Wrestling.
But we went with like nine dudes to go see Midget Wrestling and it was, for some reason,
I have a fixation with little people and it was all cracked up to be.
It was fucking awesome.
I don't know if anybody's ever partaken in this event or sport, but I would highly recommend it to get your spirits up.
It was very intriguing.
It was like old school 70s or 60s wrestling where they used weapons like garbage cans.
Oh yeah, I forgot. Yeah, they were hitting each other with folding chairs.
And these little fellas were only probably three to four foot tall.
There was one that was like two and a half foot tall.
They were just tossing him around like a medicine ball.
Yeah, he was the smallest Midget I have ever seen.
And then they had like barbed wire and they've beaten the tar out of each other, which was very funny.
Yeah.
But it was very, it was the place that it was at was very interesting.
Nobody got searched in the order capital of the United States.
No, and it was, you know, it's just, it's a near summer of Chicago, cool neighborhood, Burwin.
And it was at a VFW hall.
It was the Burwin Eagle.
Shout out.
The fucking drinks.
I can't remember if I bought it.
I bought it if it was four drinks or five drinks, but it was 17 fucking dollars.
I don't know, you people.
New York, LA.
You might think that's not that.
They take me for one drink.
Yeah.
For one drink, man.
I mean, I couldn't believe it.
I thought I was going to not have enough money on me.
I pulled out a 20 and I was digging through my pocket for more money.
And the lady's like $17 and I'm like, holy fuck.
I couldn't believe it.
Because of the VFW.
When I went with World War I was like, man, they should have more events like that.
They probably do in the city all the time.
I mean, I'm sure there's no shortage of events going on there.
But when I went with Roller and Kiki to go see this podcast, it was shit, man.
For three drinks, it was like 70 bucks.
Oh, man.
It was crazy.
Crazy.
It's fucking brutal.
We ordered like five or six drinks at once and different stuff like it wasn't all the
same.
Yeah.
And it was almost, it was over $200.
Oh, man.
For like a makers and something.
No.
Nuts.
That's why I don't understand how, and the place was packed.
It's like, I don't understand how, you know, okay.
Wow, because you imagine the bread they make on their fucking liquor.
I would love to be.
Oh, it's the markup is probably 75% on all the booze.
More than that, dude.
It's like, who dictates, it's like, how do you dictate these prices?
And I don't understand.
Is it supply and demand, because the booze isn't expensive.
Most things are 100% markup, which means, you know, you pay five bucks, you sell it
for 10, you double it.
Yeah, but when you're, it's way more, they're, they're, I understand how business
or, they're just, the markup is fucking ridiculous.
Well, but getting back to the VFW.
9000%
Convected the VFW.
70 bucks.
They were, you know what I mean?
Like, yeah, that's how it should be.
American.
It's not how it should be.
It's like, that's what the, probably the markup is they're making a buck or two off
each drink.
But it's still fucking good.
It's still worth it.
Yeah.
These guys are making, I mean, you know what I mean?
If you're charging $25 for a drink, that drink does not cost, you know, five, six
bucks.
No.
With the amount of booze you're buying, it's all, it's all.
It costs like, it probably costs.
200%, 300% markup.
It's outrageous.
What a fucking scam.
Yeah.
But the problem is, people keep going.
All I hear about is inflation.
Well, shit.
It's great.
It's country is so shitty.
And everywhere I look, people are buying.
Well, the dude I fucking worked with bought a truck.
$23,000 over value.
Damn.
I'm like, what are you doing?
He's like, I wanted the truck.
Does he play guitar?
Huh?
Cause I like to sell him some guitars.
Oh no.
Well, but I need to work truck.
So it's like he's going to be using it.
But $23,000 over value.
And it's a badass truck.
But now you think about the fucking payments on this thing.
Crazy.
The way that people just frivolously throw money around right now.
Well, man.
How could you do that?
He fucking has it again.
No, no, he has it.
I'm just saying, I don't mean to sound like a douchebag.
Here's the thing.
But I just, when I look at somebody and it's like,
You really are.
Complaining about fucking money.
And the guy's like, oh, I just bought this truck.
Yeah.
So you love Christmas.
So that's, we got that.
What are you talking about?
I hate Christmas.
I am not a fan of Christmas.
I will say that aloud.
I just really am not.
When I was a kid, it was cool.
I have a kid.
It's okay.
I don't want to decorate shit.
I don't want to, you know, be nice to people.
Like you see some of these, these are neat setups.
See, I'm nice to people anyway.
I know, but I mean, that doesn't, Christmas isn't going to be
really going to dictate who you are for the whole year.
I don't change anything.
I don't change at all at Christmas.
I don't change at all.
You shouldn't.
It's just another day.
You know?
Yeah.
I mean, what do you get at all?
Except that you commemorate the day that Jesus was born,
even if it is on the wrong day.
That's how far he was born.
In the winter.
I love it how they do that.
And then they show pictures of the summer.
I know.
It's because here's why, man.
It was like one of these kings like Caesar or some shit.
They're just making shit up.
Yeah.
Augustus or some motherfucker that said, okay, here's what's
going to happen.
We're going to move this Christ thing with the manger, with the tree
holiday that these pagan fuckers do and make everybody happy.
And because it was a because it was a week long celebration about
Black Santa, the tree, you know, the tree thing, the tree.
What are you talking about?
Dude, can you fucking pay attention to a story?
Yeah, the tree thing.
What though?
I don't understand whether you mean the tree thing was in Rome or
whatever, it was already a fucking week long celebration for these
pagan things.
So a tree festival?
So the king said, let's combine Christmas, you know, with the tree.
The tree festival.
Yeah.
And that's why we have a tree and all that today.
Like I said earlier, but here's the thing.
Of course, it's not on the right day.
But although it's on the wrong day, you could still fucking have
reverence for it and fucking recognize it.
It's not even the right season.
I know, but you could still fucking be respectful.
And does that make you think recognizing it is the day?
That's all, man.
I know that makes you think a little bit though, doesn't it?
No, it's it's because because think about that Easter Bunny.
Because it's bullshit because they move the days around, man.
They moved it around.
They moved the fucking day.
I understand what you're getting at, man, but I'm just saying it is
bullshit.
There's evidence where it's like, OK, well, here's here's what we
think we're interpreting as this guy was born in the summer.
In the summer in a desert or an outside of a town was definitely
in the in the warm time of year.
And it was definitely in the desert.
Yeah.
Or not.
I mean, it was outside.
It was in a warm climate place.
You know, this is, you know what?
And this is what I think he was born in Egypt and shit.
You know, how do you know he wasn't, man?
Because they what do you mean?
How do I know it's in the Bible?
You fucking moron.
OK, I'm just saying the Bible also says the one thing and then
the people interpret it as another thing.
That's why I'm saying that's why you're not a biblical scholar.
I don't want to be a biblical scholar because I don't know if it's
a God or not because you're just fucking idiot.
What are you doing?
I just don't want to study the Bible.
OK, well, it's a good thing.
It might be fake.
Well, it's fiction.
It could be fiction.
A lot of people have studied it.
They thought it was fiction and probably figure out things out
about Christians.
What theologists?
I like to see the shroud of Turin.
That's kind of intriguing.
But I don't know exactly what is.
You want to see all the trinkets in the fucking?
No, I don't want to see the trinkets.
The shroud of Turin would be.
Yeah, because people say that that's the face of Jesus.
I've been in these churches and shit in Europe and shit and
they would have like a glass case and have like the bones of
some fucking saint in there or something like that.
Which I mean, come on.
Like the femur of a guy or something like that.
And one place I was at, they had like a fucking huge.
It was in Germany somewhere.
It was a fucking huge rock and it was encased in fucking glass
and it was all holy and such.
It was a holy rock?
Yeah, I didn't.
And I don't know exactly.
You bow down to that once or twice.
Yeah.
And here's the thing is I don't know exactly what it was
because I couldn't read it because it wasn't written in English.
Rock is your balter.
But it was something.
It was a rock.
But it was hilarious.
Like anybody could have been like.
It was all encased with lights, you know, in fucking, you know,
like someone would have their fish tank all lit up.
This is a rock.
Yeah.
In a church?
Yeah.
Wow.
And I seen ones with big, like a big display case and I saw ones with
little things.
Little rocks too?
No, like a little fucking finger bone of somebody or some saint
or some bullshit.
I don't know man.
Crazy shit like that.
I really want to know what this fucking rock is.
I don't know.
Well, you know what?
It was.
I bought, you know what?
I bought Mary a book from there.
I mean, this is what I'm getting at.
Who the fuck knows if that rock, what sort of semblance of please
to anything, like anybody could down the line been like, hey,
this is a holy rock.
Right.
Build a house around it.
Well, my dad went to Jerusalem and they're saying, well,
here's where Jesus did this and here's where Jesus did that.
And my dad's like, how the fuck do they know where?
Yeah.
Like, like a brick on the ground.
It's just like when you go to Jamaica, they say, yeah, Bob Marley did
this here.
Bob Marley slept here.
It's like when they come to Chicago, they want to go to the gangster
party, you know, Al Capone, everything has its infamy.
And I don't know if that's what, it's tourism.
That's what they make their money off of, right?
You go smoke weed in Jamaica and hopefully not like they told
them for it.
You know that Bob Marley, Bob Marley, son of a cool ground was my
bed in the rock was my pillow to walk in blues.
Okay.
They told Mark, these guys that were working for money for a tip.
This is the rock that Bob Marley slept on that he talks about in
the song.
What the hell was this rock at?
In Jamaica.
Was it, you know, was this rock in a house or anything?
No, this is just like outside somewhere.
Don Antsworth.
And they sit to see because they had like a little soft groove, like
a natural shape where you can rest your head in there and they're
telling them, see, and he comes back and tells me and I'm like, dude,
that wasn't the fucking rock.
How much money did he give him?
Who knows?
10 J, man.
But okay, so sorry.
I didn't mean to run.
Yeah, but yeah, that's all.
It's just like when they tell you that they know where Jesus went.
That's bullshit.
Well, you know, when you're in the town, when right, that is
awesome.
That's what I'm talking about.
I like that.
But when they're saying he was in this exact house, this is the exact
house that he was in.
Yeah.
He did this or the exact house.
This is not maybe not the house, but this is a location.
Well, that's what they do though when you're in Jerusalem.
You know what I mean?
I mean, man, I'm not even want to.
They hustle you.
That's not.
They hustle you.
That's talking about our unholy brother in during this time of year.
Because Dave, the numbers man didn't say it.
He didn't even look at us and bad.
So last night I cried my God when we were leaving.
I said to everybody, hey, so and so, Merry Christmas.
Hey, Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
And then to the numbers man, I said, see you later, dude.
See you next time, man.
Because I know that he doesn't care about fucking Christmas.
No, who knows though?
I really wonder about that.
Is he a numbers man for Jesus?
I don't know, man.
If he's a real numbers man, he's, you know, down with the shackle.
He's definitely not down for Jesus.
I think he's down with the shackle.
I think this is because I think what's a big thing that they do is what do you call it?
Christmas or they go to get Chinese food and then a movie or something like that.
I think that's a Jewish Christmas to a North to a Goyam.
And that Christmas day they give a few shackles off.
Who does?
The theater.
Oh.
I'm kidding, man.
I just wanted to use the word shackles one more time.
It's a very funny word.
It is.
It really is.
A term for money.
A better than what is that?
So it's funny, man.
And I walked in on, the other night was my niece Noelle's birthday.
Happy birthday now.
I said it to her in person, text on the phone, everything else.
But now I'll say it to her through the internet if she sees this.
Happy birthday, Noelle.
My niece, she turned 25.
And I walked in at my mom's house the other night.
My brother and his kids are there.
And my mom and dad, my brother's girlfriend, and they're watching the Larian Needle Show
on YouTube on my dad's gigantic fucking TV.
And I'm like, holy fuck.
And it looks pretty cool.
And they were watching the episode with Frankie the beard was throwing up in the garbage can.
And the kids were laughing so fucking hard.
And then Frankie the beard wants it.
He texted me today and wants to know, does he need to get an agent to get a hold of us
to get on the show again?
I said, no, dude.
Come on, whatever you want to say.
We'll do it again soon.
It's no problem at all.
I just got to control the fucking party.
I don't know what that means.
Well, we can't let him get too fucked up before the fucking show starts.
I'm sure he's listening.
No, he will be.
That's why I tried to say it nice.
First time.
He knows what's going on.
Speaking of Frankie the beard.
And then so this fucking guy, he's all fucked up.
He couldn't find his hoodie.
And it was right there.
And he kept dropping this thing and eventually he left it behind.
This is not really show and tell right now.
But this is this is a fucking brush that this motherfucker.
All right.
Comes through his beard.
I love the brush.
Jesus.
So I got it.
He's got to come and get that.
Yeah, I'm sure when he comes on enough.
So that's a reason for him to come by.
No, it's funny though.
How about stupid ass dick Durbin not wanting to release the Epstein's list?
Because his people are on it.
Either he's on it.
Of course.
We all know that.
It's obvious.
It's just how deep does this go.
It figures he's from Illinois.
Well, no, that's what I'm saying.
I mean, it's the other thing.
I think it would be California or New York.
No, no, we got to get our, you know, if it's really, really crooked and corrupt, you know
that fucking Illinois is around.
It's got their hand in the fucking pot.
The home of corruption.
We taught the whole country how to cheat on elections, how to fucking, you know, rig the
system, how to fucking, this is where it was born, man.
Electric rigging at its finest.
Philadelphia and stuff like that.
They know what the fuck we're talking about.
They know what we're talking about because they got the same shit going on.
Yeah, these other places have it a little bit worse than us in little smaller cities,
but thank God.
Well, no, but I mean, it was really, you know how corrupted it is.
Somebody must have got to this guy.
Yeah.
And they said, listen, Dick Durbin, you're going to be fucking dead soon.
Yeah, exactly.
Or your family's.
Yeah.
First they kill your dog or your cat, whichever you have or.
That just sends a message.
Yeah.
And then they say next it's going to be one of your kids or your grandkids, you know.
That's a pretty far jump, but okay.
But you know, that's how they roll these fucking tough guys.
Well, yeah.
They just grab what they want.
They need it.
They'll take it.
I'm going to have something on good old Dickie boy.
Oh yeah, sure.
They do.
You know, they know him in the back room with some page or something.
Yeah.
Or who knows even a dude.
Yeah, yeah, because all of these guys just like that dude that was in the Senate, that
was jamming stuff in his ass.
Hmm.
Right where they sat.
And he was just getting raw dog, which is crazy nowadays because they make what it is.
The meaning of the word filibuster.
Fill a twink.
Because he was a little twinker man.
And here's the other thing.
These motherfuckers say, oh, oh, it's because you're homophobic.
No, dude, it's because you're filming porn in the fucking.
Well, he was on the Senate floor.
If it was straight sex, we'd be pissed off too.
Yeah.
I mean, I think it would be more hit.
Well, the thing is, is that he posted on social media, which is the downfall of idiots.
Well, you know, I would post your shit on social media.
Somebody's got to find it.
Yeah.
I mean, that's some people's jobs is just to find dirt on you now.
Everybody puts all their bullshit out there.
I mean, we have no room to talk, obviously.
But here's the thing, man.
Um, anyone that knows us or comes in contact with us or whatever, there's nothing that we
we're not hiding anything.
I'm not, I'm not looking to keep some corporate job at Enron or anything.
Yeah, because then runs knocking at your door to hire you.
You know, you got a position.
He's got a position.
The guy just like to rip bongs and play guitar all day.
It was the only, you know, the best thing about being in a band or being in a musician
or, you know, playing, you know, you go to a gig.
It's the only job where you walk in and they ask you, Hey, man, do you need a drink?
And, you know, they expect you to drink on the job because most places would fire you
if you're drinking.
Well, work.
And then the other thing is, is I would say to him, Hey, man, is there some kind of back
room, you know, get high in.
And they'd be like, Oh yeah, sure.
Back here, buddy.
You know, this is your key card, you know, weird stuff in there.
All left alone to your own devices.
Yeah.
You mind if I drill a hole into the ladies washroom and put this camera in there?
Go ahead, Larry.
Don't worry.
I'm going to take the camera home with me.
You don't need the camera.
You just need the thumb drive.
You could probably actually just stream at home.
But.
Okay.
Chuck Berry.
Chuck Berry Jr.
What the fuck?
Hey, dude, Chuck Berry was the man.
He was doing some crazy shit, too.
He knew how to.
He was getting golden showers and stuff.
But he knew how to fucking drill a hole in the ladies bathroom.
Well, he only joined.
I know.
I think he had, I think he had cameras in each stall and things like that.
Oh, it's Chuck Berry.
If you're into that, I mean, you know what?
Okay.
Number one.
He made the back office with his TV screen.
Like a bank of screens looking at like 10 different fucking things.
I don't think I don't know if he was looking at it.
People doing cold T1 people.
Yeah, okay.
I think you don't think he was watching them on site at the restaurant.
10 cameras.
No big TV's would have to be back then.
Take up a whole wall.
Just doing gator tails.
Fucking hilarious.
But, oh.
Get old Chuck.
The problem is he's getting a rock and roll.
Number one.
Okay.
For those people, I could see that.
Number two.
That's where I draw the line.
And then he's got kids coming in through there.
This guy's a real, you know what I mean?
He's a real sicko.
But here's the thing.
I think it was a nightclub in St. Louis where it was adults.
Oh, was it?
Yeah.
It was like a bar.
Oh, okay.
He had like a blues joint or a rock and roll joint.
That was a restaurant.
Was it a restaurant?
I don't know.
I don't know my facts on that.
I know as I see it.
It was a while back, but I remember when it was happening in real time.
I'm like, holy shit.
My dad's like, yeah, Chuck Berry.
And I'm like, man, that's fucking awesome.
And we laughed.
There was a video of him farting on a prostitute, which is very funny.
And they grain it ass fucking.
Chuck, yeah, Chuck Berry farting on a poker.
Well, you know, those guys are real sick back then too.
And they were like gods.
Well, I mean, he was still African-American, so I'm sure they gave him shit.
But Chuck would travel around on the road just with the guitar and his guitar.
And he would tell him, I need a fender blues.
I need a fender twin reverb there and give me a, I need a piano, a bass and a drummer.
And these guys would not know what song he was going to play.
He would just start playing and would expect them to know.
And sometimes the band would be good.
Sometimes the band would suck because he would get a different band in every single city because he did not want to fucking pay anybody.
Yeah.
He didn't want to.
He didn't want to deal with the drama of other band guys.
He didn't give a fuck.
Well, that's pretty smart.
I mean, Chuck Berry would travel around.
Yeah, and then if you were at a night where he had a band that was hot, that was cool.
And if you were at a night where the band sucked, that was cool too because he's probably going to fucking explode on these motherfuckers on stage, you know, like scream at him and say, what's wrong with you?
Well, he's a guitar man.
That was his thing, right?
I mean, he had that energy, that vibe.
Pretty interesting, Chuck.
And sometimes he, you know, real scumbag too.
Yeah, and usually he traveled with a white bitch, you know.
Yeah, well, I'm surprised he didn't get arrested for that.
Yeah.
Traveling over state lines is that what Jack Johnson got busted for?
Wow, that's a wow.
A lot of time in between.
I know what I'm just saying.
But there was a point of time when you couldn't travel with a white woman over state lines.
No, especially if you were Chuck Berry type.
Ah, wow.
You knew something bad was going on.
Chuck Berry was real sick of RIP Chuck Berry.
Ah, he wasn't a real sicko.
Yeah, he was.
He just was a fucking perv, man.
Yeah, and so he was a serial killer or something.
Well, how do you know?
Well, I doubt it.
Maybe one or two, maybe a bunch of bodies.
Accidentally strangulating the hooker here and there.
It was like James Brown shooting his car, getting all fucked up, Richard Pryde.
Those guys were crazy.
Yeah, man.
But back then it was a little bit more acceptable.
Well, back then it was a lot more acceptable to do PCP and shit.
They're free-basing and stuff.
Yeah.
Crazy shit.
It's not a great drug.
Well, you know, it's not like fucking, you're acting like...
You're going to kill somebody?
No.
Like you're acting like you never met anybody that free-based or something.
Oh, I'm not saying that, but to the extent that those guys were going to, I mean...
You're going outside and would you shoot your car, like James Brown?
No, but Brown was on, he was on other drugs.
He was on fucking like PCP.
I don't know if that makes it any better.
A PCP, yeah, I can see that shit.
He was fucking flipping around.
I'm sure.
You know, he's arranged us whatever, you know, it's pretty much the same thing, you know.
I want to think he was in a fight with his bitch and she was going to leave and he's like,
not in this car, motherfucker.
Oh, yeah, it was assuming.
He was off the fuel into the motor black.
At least he didn't shoot her.
No, exactly.
He showed restraint.
50%, 50% restraint.
Oh, the Godfather assault.
James Brown, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, I love that motherfucker.
He's so good.
He's very good.
That was the best concert I ever saw, probably.
He was one of the best.
Yeah.
James, man, I'm in that motherfucker jam.
About the 500 now?
Yeah, we should.
I have my little book here.
Book with the cat.
And now, there's time for very, very honorable time now.
I want to get up.
Let me show some respect.
Get on up.
Get up.
Get on up.
No, it's time for Fortune Cookie 500.
Very honorable time of day.
Special Christmas edition.
The Quasar for the Blacks.
Very funny.
All right.
Very exciting.
Did you mark it?
Where's Pat Terry's license?
There we go.
RIP Pat Terry.
Actually, let's see.
It might be Pat Terry's birthday today.
Today's the 22nd.
Yesterday was Pat Terry's birthday.
Really?
Yeah.
RIP Pat Terry.
Yeah.
All right, read the four.
Poor Pat Terry.
Who knows, he might be in a better place.
Poor Pat Terry.
Oh, wait, no, no.
Are you in the right month?
What are you looking at?
Yeah, I was looking at the wrong thing, man.
I'm looking at the wrong thing.
What are you looking at?
His birthday is a couple days after Christmas, the 28th.
Oh, okay.
28th.
Jeez, man.
I was looking at his license number.
How would you mix that up with DOB?
I mean, there's letters and then the numbers.
Born in 1228, 1970, poor Pat Terry.
Okay, here we go.
Okay, did you even mark it?
Okay, we did this hope for the best,
but prepared for the worst.
That was obvious.
Everybody should always hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
I'm not even going to do that in proper accent.
Anyways, that was from last time.
Now, you, here's for today.
We just got learned.
You will soon have the opportunity to prove your finances.
Wait, what?
You will soon have the opportunity to improve your finances.
I thought the IRS wrote your letter to improve your finances.
Like, bitch, I'm a sugar baby.
You'll soon have the opportunity to improve your finances.
That's very vague.
That is very vague.
I mean, that doesn't really, I mean, hopefully you're not going to start in OnlyFans, are you, Larry?
You probably have to, the way the inflation is going.
No, it's a good thing, man.
So you should, the people make holes out of themselves and only the top 1% make any money.
You make $500 and the top 1% a month, I think.
Holy shit.
Yeah, there's 2.3 million content creators out on the planet.
So the people that think they're going to be millionaires from it are really, really on hallucination.
Well, think about, I do, like I said, there's 2.3 million people.
It's like less than 1% of the population.
I know someone that started OnlyFans.
It's a content creator and how's that going?
A guy or a girl?
A girl, you know.
You sure to tell me after we go?
After we're done?
Okay, I'm not going to say her name because I'm a girl, but here's the thing, you know, it's like,
I just, I,
Saks itself, it's so lecious.
Yeah, but I have no desire to look at her and shit and she's like, what's my friend or whatever.
Maybe, you know, maybe she doesn't care about me, that could be, but.
Yeah, but I mean, if you're, it's not like you're.
It's weird, you know, like.
It's just, some people find that more attractive.
Mary knows her and such.
Okay, but like your neighbor, if your neighbor does, like, I don't know, I mean, like stuff like that.
Some people find that.
Sure, she's not my neighbor.
Okay, but like I was just saying, the amount of content and creators and how much money you have to make,
people don't make a lot of money.
We're talking about the webcam.
But you know, you're the desperate point when you're doing that for actual money and I think.
Well, I don't think that I just think that you have nothing to offer society.
That that's all you could do is your body to make money.
You can't get a job.
You don't have anything to offer society.
Well, if that's what you're going, I mean, if that's you're doing something that's the easy way out, that's laziness.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, you're lazy.
And I'm not saying that it's bad.
And you're looking for, you're looking for like a payoff and you think you're going to be like this rock star millionaire,
but it's not going to happen.
No, you put a cucumber in your butt for $20 a week.
Exactly.
Yeah, it doesn't sound like fun.
And then you can't get another real job afterwards when they find out.
Somebody will search your shit and they'll find out.
That's the problem with it.
That's the main problem.
Well, you're giving it, you're selling your soul for.
You're fucking your future up.
Yeah, you're selling your soul for a kick block.
I've never looked at only fans.
I watch camps.
Neither. I've never had any.
I don't interact with them, but I'll watch them just to see what's going on.
I only look at the ones that like, you know, yeah, forward themselves.
I would never like search it out.
Oh, no.
But no, that's great.
Like I said, there was this one chick and man, she was just going to town on herself.
And all of a sudden the cat walked in the picture and she swatted the cat away with her.
Yeah.
And then she just started typing.
I was like, oh my God, man, that is crazy.
You need to clean that hand off.
You can't just be taught.
I'm like, what is that apartment like?
And then some of them look like they're in a Ukrainian prison.
Like they have these rooms.
And if you notice, like, because you could, what you do is you there's one and then it'll show you like, dude, there's thousands of them.
Well, a lot of people in Europe live like they live in a Ukrainian prison.
Well, it's not that.
It's you can tell it's just like this little room and it has like LED lights and it's just like got a bed in it.
Yeah.
It's like, you ever heard of those content creator labs that they have in China?
No.
It's like people, they rent these little spaces and they create their shit.
You say here, you make very honorable content.
And then if it's good, we let you live.
Then we ring gong.
Then gong.
Take 80% of your earnings.
We say 99.5% of your earnings and we let your family live.
It's pretty crazy, this amount of stuff.
But if that's what you want to do, it's first of all, it's a lot easier for women to do that.
Dude, you know what I mean? I should have found the percentage out of the amount of men that do it.
It's got to be a crazy, crazy high women.
75 to 25 down here.
But I got to say right now, my wife, very nice, is cooking right now upstairs in the kitchen.
I could smell it wafting down here, man.
Peppers, you smell that?
I do smell that.
She very cooked.
The amount of money you're going to make doing this to selling your soul out for her.
That's the thing.
And then literally when, like say, a good job opportunity comes along out of the blue.
You meet the guy who owns the greatest, easiest place to work at that pays the best.
He says, hey man, I love you.
Come on and work for me.
And then maybe it's not him, but everyone else finds out you're on OnlyFans.
And they fired other people being on OnlyFans.
And he says, listen, sister, I know you're cool and you're a lot more than just a hot body on OnlyFans,
but my people are giving me pressure.
I can't hire you now.
Imagine even trying to get like marrying.
Some of these chicks are married.
It's crazy that...
Well, a lot of guys will look past a lot of shit for a really hot chick.
Yeah, but eventually that always turns sour.
Nothing is, nothing is, it's like dating a stripper.
It kind of fun for a little while.
It fucks everything up.
It's like, you know, you think you're going to marry a porn star.
Honey, I got to go.
I'm making 10 movies today.
I'm just going to get gang banged.
It's going to be an interracial gang bang.
You want to come and watch?
Yeah, I'm making gang bang.
But some dudes are into that shit.
I'm making interracial gang bang number 13 to 25 today.
Some dudes are really into that shit.
I don't understand the whole cock thing.
Here's the thing, you know, it's not going to, psychologically, you can't fucking...
You can't last, bro.
You can't say, okay, that's cool.
Well, how long is it going to keep on going on for?
How much you're willing to put up with?
And what's the payout for it?
If you're really into it that much,
I'm going to say this chick is going to fucking...
Yeah.
Well, then you're not in it for the right thing anyway.
You know, it's all just a perversion.
Just the love of the game.
Yeah, it doesn't matter then.
Being in love, right, Larry?
That's what you want.
You want love, that's right.
True love.
Love is overrated.
Without true love, well, what do you have?
I don't know, talk to some guy's money.
You got a guy that says, I hate Christmas.
That's the apples and oranges right now.
I know.
You know, doesn't mean that I don't want to love.
You're being loved and still hate Christmas.
Yeah.
No, I just, you know, what here's the thing, man?
I've been with lots and lots of chicks that I hated.
And I fucking hated them bitches.
Barely tolerate them every time you see them.
A lot of them, you know, like, and then here's how I knew that Mary was the right one.
Like, she would do the same things that a lot of these other chicks would do.
They would make me want to kill them.
And it wouldn't bother me when Mary saw it.
I was like, okay, that must be a sign.
Or you just put up with the same shit and now you're just tolerating it.
No, no, no, I'm not.
You know, I would blow my stack and shit before.
I was a lot different.
I wasn't as cool as I am now.
Well, because you're an old man.
You've mellowed in your age.
Back then you said there were other variables that were...
Yeah, but you know, there was other variables going on with me and Mary too.
I had variables going on my whole life up until just a few years ago.
I'm just saying, you pick a chicken, she's hot, but she might be crazy.
You know what I mean?
So she's hot, but you'll tolerate crazy for a little while.
But not for long.
Yeah, a little while.
It took crazy pulls in life on you.
It takes a lot less than that for me.
I would get pissed off over the smallest shit after a while if I didn't really like them.
Yeah, well, you know, I'm a picky motherfucker.
I don't know about that.
If I'm not sugar babying...
Sugar being sugar babying ain't living.
I gotta be picky.
You have to be picky with time over here.
Oh, wow, we're at 53 minutes.
Nice.
You start doing your hit list?
Yeah, so it's been a wonderful Christmas.
Again, I gotta thank Kiki, this joint.
Very good.
And he also supplied me a needle with the weed on the night of the Midget Wrestling,
and we got high all night.
So that was really very fun.
Not to mention the cheap alcohol, which added to the events and all the people that were there were really cool.
So that was cool.
It was fucking funny.
There was one Biden voter.
Oh, yeah.
The guy said, yeah, he said he voted for Biden.
Well, he was Democrat.
He wasn't a Biden...
Yes, okay, Biden voted for him.
Democrat, we should use the proper word.
Fucking socialist Nazis.
Communist fascist lover.
Yeah.
This is just a joke.
This guy was cool, bro.
You know, yeah.
We love all you people, left, right, center, whatever, fuck it.
I just don't like that everybody separated over all this shit.
And at Christmas time, see, I look at it the other way the needle does.
We should fucking just overlook all that bullshit and then just try and continue it on and not just do it today in this time of year.
But start today, right now, whatever fucking day it is, and then just continue that shit.
Indulge until New Year.
Continue that shit.
Just blow it all up.
No, forget New Year.
It's just from now on, and you just treat everybody like that.
Yeah, just take advice from us.
You should definitely do that.
Do you have your hit list?
Yeah, well, where are those books that were in there?
I don't know.
I didn't grab it, man.
No, you didn't.
We were out there getting out that thing.
I didn't grab books, too.
No, there was like a clipboard, a little thing, a notebook that was in that US mail thing.
I didn't grab anything.
Blaming me for everything.
We can just do the hit list off the top of our head.
No, we don't need to do the hit list, man, because everybody out there, no one in specific,
but all the specific people that we name, they all know who they are.
We love you, Merry Christmas.
We do love you, Merry Christmas.
We'll see you soon.
Some of you I will see on Christmas, so that'll be cool.
That's great.
Like Sherry, no shirt, neck, nephew Alex.
Those are some people we shout out all the time, but everyone else, I'm not going to see
Merry Christmas, and all the people that we don't know.
Thanks for listening.
Merry Christmas or happy, whatever it is that you get down with, you know?
It could be, I don't know, quanzah.
Here goes.
It could be Hanukkah.
Hanukkah's over, right?
Yeah, it ended Friday.
It could be a numbers man.
You could be whatever, so.
Sure, there's a lot of you people that follow some twisted fucking shit.
I wouldn't doubt it.
Close this bitch out.
You just kind of ram a lot about sick and twisted shit now.
So I have a solemn twisted Christmas, like, I don't know, Q101 or something, the radio.
All right, man, Larry Needle signing off, everybody.
Peace.
I'm going to do a camera switch for just some high tech shit.
Peace.
And now I'm going to press some buttons.
Later.