time to get ready for the Larry and Needle show.
Hey everybody how's it going? Welcome to the Larry and Needle show. I'm Larry and I'm
Needle. Really great to be here man. How you doing today Larry?
Good. Good. It's a nice day today. Nice and warm. Breaking news in the DUI world of Needles.
I was under the legal limit of alcohol and they still gave me a blower.
So shout out to our corrupt governmental system.
He was.075. We all know that it's.08.
So now it's just fentanyl that got me.
Man I want to talk about something right off the bat. I just want to get, I really just want to get this out of the way because it really infuriates me and I want to know what you really think about this.
So do you hear about this kid in Las Vegas that was beaten to death?
Yes. Oh my god. That was fucked.
Let me, I got to get to his name. Jonathan Lewis Jr. Shout out to him man. RIP brother.
He was a cool kid.
He was stuck up for one of his friends that was getting picked on that was smaller than him.
Yes.
And basically two guys attacked him. They didn't hurt enough. So 15 people attacked this child. Which is a child. He might be a teenager.
I think he was 16. 17.
17.
But I mean he's still a child.
Yes.
Underage.
When do white lives not matter anymore?
Oh they haven't mattered since.
Is it George Floyd?
Yeah.
Is everyone black lives matter took front and center?
Yeah well that's who they got their most publicity.
I know.
And then the greatest part of the publicity is that they.
And the greatest income of what you call donations.
Well yeah and now these people are basically shunning themselves up.
But it's really I okay so I read about this off of Facebook. I saw the video and it didn't hit the news cycle till at least a day later.
Maybe two days later.
About the kid getting beaten.
Yeah with the kid being killed.
Fuck man.
And it said that it was a group of juvenile delinquents that beat him up.
It didn't give any race. It didn't give any sort of indication that this person was attacked by 15 African American children.
Right.
And beat.
Okay listen we practice Krav Maga.
How many pounds of pressure for an elbow?
Eight.
How many for a knee?
16. 17.
How hard is it to beat a person to death?
Well with 15 people involved. Not very hard.
Well I'm just saying.
You could do it pretty easily. We know all the spots to hit him now so we could do it really easy but yeah if they fucking get this kid in the right spot a couple of good blows he's fucking done.
He's on the ground and they're stepping on his head and kicking him in the face.
His brain swelling was so bad.
Now okay so I'm just gonna say this again that white lives do matter. Especially children's lives.
Okay but now here's the problem I have with this also. If this was an African American child and 15 what L Sharpton would be there. Jesse Jackson would be there.
They'd be denouncing these white nationalists for letting this happen to perpetrate these kids that did this.
But who is the L Sharpton and the Jesse Jackson of the white community?
We don't have one.
Exactly.
These guys are just muckrakers and race baiters.
They're bottom feeders.
Yeah. They just make money off of people's problems.
If you look into Jesse Jackson he actually played a part in the killing of Martin Luther King Jr.
Oh yeah.
He was an FBI informant.
And I mean that's another we can get that to another day.
L Sharpton burned a place down with a man inside of it.
A white man and killed him.
And these are things that are completely overlooked.
I liked when L Sharpton was a little fat guy.
He looked so different.
What he didn't get is he looks like Beetlejuice now.
No no.
That's Lori Lightfoot.
No. Well no Beetlejuice the guy from Howard Stern.
I never saw that.
I'll show you a picture.
I'll tell you.
You know Lightfoot works at like Harvard or Yale now.
Yeah. She teaches some class that's like a woke class.
Contrary.
Whatever.
You know what. Listen you want to go trade for doing it on your own time.
Please you're never going to run another city.
I'll tell you that right now.
No.
The fuck it.
Well she I see there was like some ethics committee that was looking at her.
Yeah.
Timer.
No no.
I was just queuing up our.
Okay.
We don't need to set the time.
I want to say something.
I do want to make an apology.
Wait a second.
Go ahead.
Go.
Okay.
Say it.
Listen man.
I hate to say this and I'm not a nationalist.
I'm not a race person.
I'm not you know what I mean.
I'm not a what do you call it.
You know what I mean.
I'm not a racist.
Yeah.
But what lives do matter.
I pushed to the back burner and people just shit on us like we're the fucking devil.
For what reason I have no clue because some guy kneeled on another guy's neck that was
stealing.
You know that came you know it just came out that George Floyd did not die from suffocation
from the fucking cop.
For the fixation.
Yeah it was from drugs man.
Yes.
But.
It was from drugs the motherfucking OG mother fucking George Floyd you heard it here for
the first time.
Well you hear it here first.
I mean there's paperwork you can.
Okay well maybe you didn't hear it here first but you'll hear it here strongest and loudest
that George Floyd fucking that motherfucker Odead he was gonna die.
He would have died that fucking day.
He just was part of it.
Well you know probably one of his own people would have shot him because that's the most
crime against black people is their own people.
I mean that is astronomical.
Those numbers are through the roof man.
Or as long as it was shut down later.
The funny thing is is that everybody's like oh wait how about you do your thing because
I was gonna get into Frisco for a second.
Well I was just gonna say last week when I showed my little four hole harmonica and
I gotta just apologize for all the sound quality problems a couple weeks ago or a couple episodes
ago.
Oh yeah we did.
It was distorted and then I turn away from the mic and then I'm talking and you can't
hear me.
Because we you know we've been fucking with this video and we're new at this but today
I hope the sound is gonna be dope.
I even we're not peaking so we're good.
I even have a microphone over here for when I turn around and talk to you over this way
as long as it doesn't pick up that one.
You know we fuck up around here.
We are not perfect and this is literally this is our fourth or fifth video episode so we're
still new to the game.
We'll never sell out and we're just gonna talk shit and do whatever the hell we want
to do and the government's gonna have to come and get us.
Now last week when I when I was playing that little harmonica I want to show you the actual
that was the made in China bullshit but this is the made in Germany model.
Okay.
This is the I mean we're already doing Larry's Autistic Corner this is the owner this is
the owner little lady and it's just a four hole harmonica and the difference between
the two is this one's got better materials like wood and brass and shit like that the
other one's all plastic and fucking tin and it sounds like shit but the thing that I wanted
to talk to you about is the funniest thing is supposedly it's the first musical instrument
played in space.
Well space ain't real.
But we know space isn't real.
No you can't get above the firmament.
Yeah there's a firmament and we all know that but the best part is as they say it was December
15th 1965 and Wally Sheeran and Thomas Stafford were orbiting above Earth aboard Gemini 6.
Is that an original packaging?
Yeah piloted by Jim Orville and Frank Borman just before re-entering Earth's atmosphere.
Now these motherfuckers lie so much man they're in on the lie but you see now my buddy Chris
Chris Lampke RIP my good buddy he was my drummer he was he got murdered by the hospital but
anyways and this uh this owner is made in Germany that other one's made in China but
anyways um he loved space and he loved NASA so this used to be hanging in the studio and
when he died I was like fuck it I could unwrap it now and fuck around with it.
You unwrapped it?
Yeah dude.
Why would you do that?
Because man.
You are a lunatic.
Why would you do that?
Who cares?
He had it hanging up because he...
Well it was mine to begin with the reason that we hung it up in the studio.
How much does it cost?
Is it saying that?
Oh no but it wasn't that much money.
Well back then it wasn't yeah because there was a whole illusion of space.
Yeah.
That you could go behind.
So they pretended they went to space and they sold this harmonica with it.
Oh and this is the best part okay?
They played jingle bells because it was like Christmas time and they used this little baby
harmonica and some mini sleigh bells and the fucking original harmonica and the sleigh
bells that they used are in the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum.
So another fucking bullshit place you could go and go and see a bunch of lives.
Well I'll talk to them because they have the Wright brothers playing there.
Yeah.
They have some Jotson shit.
Yeah they do have a few true things but the space part of it is all bullshit.
I mean they don't have any saddle balloons.
No.
I was telling someone today about the balloons, the satellites that there's no satellites
that aren't on balloons and they were like what?
And I'm like yeah motherfucker what do you think?
Well look at that balloon that just came over in the United States and they said there were
hundreds of them unofficially.
Well that was a small one.
I know but look at how far it got.
These motherfuckers are.
I mean who knows where that came from.
I mean don't tell us the fucking anything.
Some of those balloons are as big as two football fields man.
That's fucking huge.
I mean look at hot air balloon.
You know what I mean?
That's some hardcore shit right there.
Here's something I wanted to.
I took Norris.
RIP to the what's that kid's name again man.
I don't want to just.
I just don't want to walk.
Yeah that was fucked.
I have a child and it really really bothers me.
And he's as white as could be.
You're Irish and you're.
Jonathan Lewis Jr. man.
RIP bro.
I mean.
Yeah.
I deserve to die like that.
No man.
No one does.
Black, white.
You know what I mean?
But since you're white now you're getting brushed to the wayside.
Yeah.
Well there was another kid that just got fucked with and by he didn't get killed or nothing
but the school came down on him because what the fuck.
Okay it was a.
You wrote it.
I'm looking for it.
I got a lot of shit written down.
Yeah.
A middle school kid got you know he put black the blackening that they.
Oh the face paint for sports.
You know how they do the triangles to look like badasses.
This was a little excessive I saw the picture.
Okay but do you think that you saw this kid now what was he 60 pounds soaking wet.
People are defending him saying it's just face paint for football.
He was playing football.
But they banned him.
No.
He was just a spectator and they banned him from all fucking sporting events from
there on out.
They ban a child.
Yeah.
Come on.
Yeah man.
They got a flip flap on there.
They had a big fucking meeting with his dad and everything.
I'll tell you right now I'm sure if you look up that school's history it probably has some
things that they don't want to discuss.
Well they even went down they even went after like some women who would like get a facial
where they put that green shit on their face or some black charcoal shit.
Weird alien porn you watch it.
Well no these bitches would post this online you know like how I'm getting a facial today
or whatever.
And some of them if it was too dark they were getting accused of being in black.
Well they get like straight tan and stuff.
You know the height of the shit back you know a year ago baby.
Whatever.
You know what you need something to stand behind.
If it's going to be blackface then that's I mean okay.
People used to do it because they were imitated because the African Americans weren't allowed
to.
They wouldn't hire them.
Yeah they weren't allowed to entertain so that's what they did.
And then they saw how entertaining those motherfuckers were and they said I admire.
That one dude we watched the Mammy guy.
El Jolson.
Yeah El Jolson.
He was he took it a little bit too far.
Okay.
But you know that shit is a hundred and something years old.
It's a child.
He's not going to blackface.
People are outraged at anything.
Internet just perpetuates this cycle of violence and fucking tomfoolery and dumbfoundness.
I mean the shit that these kids dumbfoundery.
These shit that these kids do on the internet and then try to compete with each other and
then videotape themselves.
We are from an era Larry where if you did not videotape yourself you did not incriminate
yourself we understood.
Hey how about this man.
Just cut me off.
Alright go ahead.
Get your ass sucka.
No keep going.
How about Larry.
That's fine man.
I'm not a rant.
Me and no filter Frank.
We have an hour you know.
I know I'm sorry.
Jesus you got to bust your nut.
No man no.
When we were when we drove back from DRI dude from Belmont and Pulaski I drove right.
Belmont and Pulaski all the way home 16 miles never went on the highway all surface roads.
I didn't catch one single fucking red light.
I had every green light all the way home.
How much weed did you smoke.
I never had to fucking stop.
How much weed did you smoke.
It was amazing even Frank was like.
Amazing the amount of weed you smoked.
That too.
You smoked about seven joints.
But you didn't drink.
I drank two beers.
But seven joints.
And then.
But Frank was like did you notice that.
We didn't hit one fucking red light.
And he's like yeah I did notice that.
So we really got lucky.
And the other thing was we there was this other couple of bands one of them Macabre
from Illinois from Chicago.
We played with those guys when we were younger back in the early 90s late 80s.
But okay.
It was this other band repulsion.
And there was all these Hispanic.
Well listen this family.
I am listening.
We're in Grindcore death metal shit.
Like it was so brutal.
I couldn't even take it.
I like that.
And this fucking I know you do.
And I thought of you.
And I thought man needles would love this show.
But the thing that blew my mind was the fucking gig was about sixty five or seventy percent
Hispanic chicks man.
And yeah but they always been into that.
Yes.
Is it a little tendency.
I know their whole cholo chola thing.
I know.
But I just didn't.
There's a whole subset of Hispanic.
I just couldn't believe the amount of them.
like, wow, this is pretty fucking amazing.
It was kind of cool.
They have their thing.
Yeah, they were down with it.
They love fucking rock and roll.
That's why I like the movie.
It wasn't rock and roll, technically.
Oh, they love heavy shit.
I mean, this is like on the other polar opposite
of rock and roll.
This is an acquired taste.
If you don't like it.
Somewhat.
Well, if you don't like it, you don't like it.
You tell within the first two seconds
if you don't see that shit.
Yeah, most people don't like it.
Yeah, the mass majority of people do not like that.
I'll tell you, it made DRI seem like fucking easy listening.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
And they're going, they fucking play fast, man.
They're fucking balls out.
Did you read about that thing with the babies
and the fucking blood that they were taking, man?
So in New Jersey, in this hospital,
they were taking the baby's blood and keeping it
and not telling the parents.
And so now they're coming and taking blood,
drawing blood while the baby's still alive?
Yeah.
And then, well, yeah, now I was dead.
But who knows?
I mean, they might be.
I didn't really.
Yeah, well, I mean, they're doing worse
than fucking taking blood, I'll tell you that.
I don't know.
But like all we want to test is blood,
but they're really just fucking drinking it and shit.
Well, they would bank it.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then now it's like,
and the funny thing about this article is
when you think of like, you've never seen Blade.
It's a great movie with Leslie Snipes.
He's a fucking vampire.
He's a daywalker.
So he's born from whatever.
I'm not gonna get into it.
But he was a vampire that could walk during the day.
It was an awesome movie.
Nice.
And they would go to these blood banks
and the vampires would pick up blood.
And so that's what these people,
these people aren't speculating that,
but it's like, you can take this blood
and they can use it for anything, you know, government shit.
You know, you get 23 and me.
Like they could just enter the blood in a database.
Yeah.
Without anybody's consent, which is very alarming.
Very alarming.
I mean, this is our bodily fluids that they're taking
when you can't even consent to it.
Talk about an invasion of privacy.
Well, now that people are up in arms about it,
I don't know how they found out.
I've read the article, but wouldn't you be,
wouldn't you be kind of pissed off
if you had an infant baby, if they're coming in
and taking blood from your kids for fucking nefarious reasons,
other than what they're telling you?
I wouldn't.
They shouldn't be taking anybody.
I mean, they take our blood all the time.
Who knows what governments involved with, you know,
think about that.
Dude, man, when you're in the hospital,
anybody that's ever got injured or has had an illness
knows this.
Those motherfuckers come in like,
it seems like more than,
no, they're taking so much blood from it.
It's almost like, do you ever see,
okay, here's a movie that you just saw.
That was left handed too.
Rosemary's Baby.
Left hand in a ditch.
Yeah, dude.
Do you ever see Rosemary's Baby?
Long time ago.
Okay.
Well, they're like drugging her.
It's almost like they're doping her down
so she doesn't know what's going on
and she's like in a daze.
And it's almost as if they're keeping her on.
It's almost as if they're draining her blood
and she finds out they're not.
It's almost as or they are.
I don't quite remember.
I think they're just drugging her with something.
But it's almost like the same effect it would have
where she's always tired and she can't get up
and she can't move.
Cause she doesn't have enough energy
cause she doesn't have enough blood.
It's like that.
That is the worst analogy ever.
Whatever.
I mean, that was just wasted my time.
Thanks, I'll never get that shit back.
You fucking asshole.
But no, I understand what you mean though.
The lethargic feeling.
You know what I mean?
But that's, they're being drugged.
It's not like you're fucking bleeding her literally.
No.
But no, who knows what the fuck they're gonna do.
So think about that.
Every time you go, cause we were reading about,
we'd read about that that one time
about how they want Pfizer wants you
on like three types of drugs for an adult.
At least.
At least and then one for a child
or a certain age limit when they could start drugging them.
Of course they do.
Yeah, they just pushed pills.
Well, cause what is it?
I think it was in 1984.
Was it Reagan signed a bill
that you can't sue pharmaceutical companies?
Was it all the way back then?
Yeah, I think it was Reagan.
I might be wrong.
Someone fact-checked me.
Well, what about when they sued for Roxy Cotton?
They sued.
Well, yeah.
They get sued all the time.
Pfizer and what's that called?
The fucking Sackler family.
Yeah, I think they get sued all the time, bro.
Well, if it's, I mean, that was just negligent.
You know what I mean?
That was wine open.
They knew, dude, they knew.
You're telling me that they don't have
a fucking- It was wide open.
I'm saying it was just negligence.
They just did it in the open, man.
Like they would send these,
I think they were called oxy kiddies
or whatever, cotton kiddies,
or they would send the hot girls to these doctors
and they'd ask all,
so here you go, keep on prescribing.
Oh, they do that with all of them, bro.
They do that with all the pills.
And you know what, but you're gonna tell me
that the guy that makes oxy cotton
doesn't have some kid in his family
that's a druggy that's all fucked up on these pills.
Well, I don't think that offsets anything.
Well, no, I'm saying they know how addictive
and how fucked up it was.
Yeah, they're not fucking idiots, man.
These guys are making drugs in a lab.
Man, I used to love those motherfucking things.
It wasn't a big oxy guy.
Oh, man, that was the best,
but you know what, that's the worst shit out there.
It was fucked up.
Well, it's because the problem is it's pharmaceutical.
Yeah, and the other thing is-
Shit's strong as balls.
Yeah.
And then they just taken the fuck away from you.
I would have to go get it from this old man
that was like dying in fucking.
He wouldn't even take him
because it fucked him up too bad.
Yeah, those things are not to be messed with.
By his prescription from him.
And I would fucking drive to Indiana.
Yeah.
And I would fucking, he'd call me,
I'd drop everything in fucking the middle of the hall.
You could have just went the other way down to the city
and went to a dope spot and got the same thing.
No, I know, but dude, I was getting-
For cheap up rice.
Well, here's the thing, I was getting a big bottle
and it was like, you know,
it was like Christmas motherfucking thing.
See, but did you hear that?
No, yeah, but did you just hear that?
You could have went to the city and got-
No, I did that too though.
You know what I mean?
Well, that was the same, but you're just like,
I gotta get those pills.
Yeah, I liked them both, but I liked the IZ better.
And they're expensive.
They were a dollar milligram at one point.
That's outrageous.
Holy crap, man.
I mean, think about that.
I know.
And then that's when the whole-
That's when the bottom dropped out.
Well, yeah, that's when society hit a wall.
Yeah, that's when whole little towns in-
Yeah, in Virginia would drop that or fucking Kentucky.
They would be pill mills.
Self-division would drop that.
Yeah, just crazy.
The grandma, the grandma, the kids, the baby.
Your aunt's out there sucking dick for fucking oxies.
She's like, ah, man, this is a good-
They're doing a great job at it.
Oh, I would, man, she has no teeth.
And a lot of PBR, get anybody good looking, right?
But so even talking about junkies and shit like that,
did you see the funny thing about San Francisco,
they cleaned all their shit?
Oh, man.
They got rid of the homeless.
The damn news is the biggest cocksucker.
He is so greasy.
Holy shit.
He's like-
He is the greasiest fucking politician.
To China too, come on, man.
I mean, talk about just making us look like bitches.
He is a cocksucker.
Man, totally on our own.
Fuck, do I love America, man.
This is the greatest country in the world.
It definitely is.
And these guys are turning us into a laughing stock.
We are, man.
You know-
I mean, we got a weak-minded buffoon out at the podium.
Did you see-
He's shaking no hair.
Man.
He's hallucinating.
What are you doing?
Did you see what he did to him with the unknown soldier?
Oh, man.
I really would have fallen in.
He goes and hangs a wreath.
Because he doesn't know what happened.
He goes and hangs a wreath and then doesn't know what to do.
Pulls a dick out.
Canola Dr. Surgeon Jill Biden is there.
Dr. Surgeon in quotation marks.
You know, like-
Yeah, everybody does that.
And then maybe like an honor guard, a marine guy.
Everybody's touched children.
And he's supposed to hang-
He has a hang gang of them.
Yeah, but he's supposed to hang the wreath.
Maybe not the marines.
They didn't.
There was some marines there protecting them.
Okay, hey, whoa.
You can't say they're all bad.
All the politicians have, yes.
Just speculating.
Yes.
But, okay, so he hangs the wreath
and then he doesn't know what to do.
And the fucking guy who's saluting him next to the wreath
is like telling him, okay, go back now.
And he's like looking at the guy.
He's like, who are you?
Exactly.
Where am I?
And he's gonna tell him as respectfully as possible.
This is a child's day here.
He always had to turn him around
and walk him back to the fucking spot.
And it's like Biden did not know what the fuck he was doing.
Yeah, he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing at any time.
The guy's 80 years old and he's seen eye-opening.
But here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
He's just a puppet.
He gives old people a bad name.
Cause look at my dad.
My dad's older than Biden.
He's way fucking smarter.
Yeah, you got a big Joe on again.
Biden was a fucking idiot when he was 40 years old.
He's always been a fucking dummy.
He's since a bad trip, too, man.
He's joined it at the bottom of his fucking class.
He's a fucking dummy.
He lies about everything.
All his speeches throughout history
from the first one he's made.
Well, there's an election coming up, so I mean, yeah.
Until this last one had been plagiarized.
It doesn't matter.
The elections are fixed.
Well, okay.
The elections don't even matter.
Well, there's video proof of that.
So we don't tell some nuts when we say that.
No, it's not nuts.
So I've lived in Chicago my whole life.
I've been a hardcore Democrat my whole life.
So has my wife.
She was a fucking public defender in Cook County.
You had to be a Democrat.
Her dad was a fucking judge.
He was a hardcore Democrat.
Dude, it took a lot for me.
These motherfuckers went down the tubes.
We had a jump ship.
It's not like I wasn't on the other side
and I'm just pointing the finger.
I was there and said, listen,
these motherfuckers are fucking retarded, man.
Seriously.
Trump is what made me fucking go out.
I've never voted in my whole life
until Trump ran, actually,
because it was the first time I felt like someone
with a brain was running.
Nobody has our best interests.
You need people that are undiluted or like pure from...
The swamp.
Well, no, pure from just they have their own money.
They can run their own campaign.
They don't have to do this.
They're not funded by all these people.
Like that, VVAC, that's his name, right?
VVAC Ramaswamy.
Man, when he went on the Republican...
What was that?
What was it?
The debate.
The primary debate.
Man, he said some crazy shit and it's crazy that like...
And they fucking don't like that.
Newsome, he's a fat tub of...
Chris Christie.
Chris Christie, he's a fat tub of shit.
And he had a mousse knuckle.
Do you ever see a man's knuckle?
When he threw at the baseball game,
there's a great picture of him.
And it's going up like, yeah, he's got a man's knuckle
or whatever you want.
He's sweating his nuts in here.
Yeah.
You know what, listen, I'm not fat shaming,
but he's a fat tub of shit.
You know?
Here's the thing, you could be fat,
but just don't be a tub of shit.
Well, be cool.
Be like, you know, John Candy or Ralphie Mayer,
be cool about it.
Don't be such a prick about it.
You know, you're so serious about everything.
Nikki Haley, she's done with a box of rocks.
Man, when she...
She sucks.
And who's the other dude Newsome?
Nikki Haley lets her fucking emotions roll.
You know what I like?
There's a revet called Nikki Haley,
Dick Cheney and Three In Chills.
That's amazing.
Dick Cheney was a bad ass.
You know what, fuck Dick Cheney, man.
He was a killer.
He was shooting a motherfucker.
He did.
I know.
Don't go hunting with him.
Yeah.
Motherfucker's dangerous.
He's a buckshot.
He's like, oh, that was an accident, man.
Yeah, okay.
Don't forget that, bitch.
Yeah, this is what happens.
I'm just gonna shoot you.
He literally shot the guy.
He didn't do nothing about it.
And it was like, you know,
first they went and had dinner and everything.
Yeah, they got a hammer.
Yeah.
And that's what he said.
He was like, I was drunk.
That's the other thing, man.
You don't want to be hanging around with someone
that's real fucked up and they have a gun.
They all had guns.
They were hunting.
I know, man.
You shouldn't be fucking saying.
You don't want to be hanging out with Dick Cheney
with a gun, man.
Here's the thing, when you're really drunk
and you should, when someone says,
hey, let's go hunting.
I got a bunch of guns.
You should say, nah, man, that's probably a bad idea.
Yeah, but they just didn't pick up from like the city
and go, they were probably on a hunting trip.
Oh, yeah, I know.
So I mean, he probably lives on a fucking.
I'm assuming there were, I want to look into that.
That's a very good, man, I forgot about that.
But I bet you there was some bad blood.
And the guy was so scared, he said it's okay.
There was some probably bad blood during the weekend.
Boys are all together.
Looking at his wife's ass, he saw out of the corner of his eye.
He fucking says, I'm gonna shoot that guy.
The power that Dick Cheney had.
Or who knows, back then.
He took over 9-11.
Hey, the guy could have possibly fucked.
What's her name?
The daughter that's now a cunt that's in Congress.
You're really a cunt.
What the hell's her name, man?
Cheney.
Liz Cheney.
I couldn't think of her name, Liz Cheney.
Maybe fucking Dick Cheney caught his buddy
banging his daughter who at the time was,
you know, this is going back.
What in the hell are you talking about?
Maybe she was, you know.
Are you just making this up?
Yeah.
Okay, I can tell.
That was very far-fetched.
You know, and he says, I'm gonna shoot this fucker in the face.
I'm gonna pretend we're gonna go hunting and I'm gonna say,
go look at Doc and then shoot him.
I mean.
After he caught with the daughter and he's like,
oh, I'm sorry, sir.
Don't worry, dude.
He's just gonna shoot somebody in the face.
It's okay, my daughter's a little tramp.
She does this all the time.
You're still on the scenario, aren't you?
Oh man, this sounds like you've been thinking
about this for a while.
I just made it up this second.
I just made it up.
Man, your mind goes to some weird places.
It does.
I mean, I don't understand how.
But just remember that Biden has always been an idiot
and it's nothing to do with his age.
He's a fucking dummy and he's an empty shell.
And he's always has been and he always will be.
Everybody's like, oh, Biden is sending
this country to war if you're an idiot.
He's not sending us anywhere.
The military industrial complex.
They're sending Biden to bed with no pudding
if he doesn't do what he says.
I mean, he probably gets home and they just drug him up.
And just knock his ass out.
Shoot him with fucking dope at night to fucking knock him down.
Some kind of fucking sedative.
And in the morning, hit him with adrenaline
when he starts fucking, you know,
giving the Hitler-Math fucking mixture or whatever.
I don't even think he could dress himself at this point.
No, dude.
Like the way that he just reacts
and the way that he's been fighting.
It's probably not even him.
I honestly think he's been dead since 2019.
I've said this before.
Why do you think that, Larry?
Because they've got prosthetic masks
that would fucking blow your fucking mind, man.
It's hits back?
Yeah, I could do it where
someone could make a mask of me and you know me well.
What an ugly-ass mask.
And then they could sit here
and if they had my voice down, fool you.
And then pull it off and you'd be like, no way.
Or I'd come walking around the other corner
and you'd have a heart attack.
No, I'd choke his ass out, put him in the fucking seat belt,
kick him in the nuts.
Except it would really be me walking
and the guy coming around the corner would be sunny
with a mask in my face.
And he'd fucking rip your fucking throat out.
You really like that idea, don't you?
Look at you smiling over there.
Fucking psycho.
What are you doing?
That's not nice.
So let me show you, Larry's-
Oh, there's autistic-
Larry's autistic corner today.
We're gonna do a show and tell thing.
He has a little bag, a little box of stuff.
Yeah.
Knick-knacks and wigwams and shit.
This is some old vintage shit.
And today what we're gonna show you-
I know what that is.
It's a shopping list thing.
Let me show you.
You can't even see music from it.
Here's how it works.
I'm just gonna block my face, right?
You take what you want and you'd like just-
So there's this little switch.
There's butter, bread.
So you don't have to write it down, right.
Everything's written on there.
And so what, choke to the camera, Larry.
The best is it's got cigarettes.
So what it does is it has-
Coffee.
And the backside also.
And both sides have items on there.
And it would be every item that you'd possibly need
to run a household in, I don't know, the 50s or whatever.
It doesn't have Doritos.
There's ice packs in there
so it would put over your eye when dinner's not ready.
So it's an alphabetical order
and it's got applesauce, baby food, bacon, ham,
bandages, beans, peas, beer, ale.
Okay, enough.
You don't have to read everything.
Moving, bulbs, bread, breadcrumbs, bread rolls, butter,
cake, pie, candies, ketchup.
Cake and pie?
Cereals.
Oh, you know it says cake and then slash pie.
Oh, okay.
I mean, if you're gonna buy a cake or pie,
you're usually not getting both.
So they put them both on one.
I don't know, let's give a swoon to you.
And then this way, you're not wasting paper.
This is the ultimate green fucking thing
for all you tree huggers out there, man.
And it's made out of metal, it's high quality,
the fucking thing still works.
It's gotta be, I don't know, 70 fucking years old.
All right, enough of Larry's story.
So yeah, that's that.
Thank you, Larry, that was great.
That is pretty cool.
They don't make shit like they used to.
No, they don't.
I mean, that's actually a smart invention.
It would cut down on paper and all that.
And I'm sure the guy who invented it
worked at some company already
and got fucked out of the idea
and they made all the money off of him
and he got nothing.
Yeah, back then everybody got fucked.
Like the guy that worked for Zenith TVs.
Zenith, I think.
That made the remote control clicker, yes.
He worked for the company
and he got like a $50 bonus while his boss
got all the accolades and credit and big bonus.
Do you notice?
Yes, as a fact.
He is actually from, I think it was at the Motorola Company
or something.
I don't know if it was Motorola or Zenith.
I think it was Zenith.
But it was in Chicago.
Okay, the company was in Chicago.
Well, that narrows it down.
My grandma worked at fucking Motorola
and so did my mom.
I think you're just mixing like five stories here.
No, man, I'm not.
But I'm just saying, the guy got fucked out of the idea
probably the same as the guy that made this little.
I mean, that's a little trinket.
How many of those can you really sell?
It's not like it is now with the internet
where you could sell them all over the world.
It's like a thing at the counter would be an impulse buy.
No, I mean.
You'd see it and go, oh, this is kind of cool.
It is very cool, actually.
If you look at it, I mean, it's very ingenious.
Cold cuts.
It's got some fucked up shit.
How does it work on the back if you use the front?
Well, they got two different things.
Oh, there's two.
They're each independent of each other.
Oh, nice, okay.
That's some ingenuity there.
I like that.
Yeah.
I mean, old school shit's cool.
It's pretty cool.
That's how it goes.
I know that's how it goes.
You just showed me that thing.
All right, is it?
They were not even close.
Is it time for the fortune cookie 500?
Oh, shit, I forgot about that.
I'll go on.
Very, very honorable.
Welcome to the fortune cookie 500.
Very honorable fortune cookies.
Fortune cookie 500.
Very honorable fortune cookies, fortune cookie 500.
Oh, oh, shit.
This one's bad.
Bad isn't good or good isn't bad.
I don't know.
All right.
It could be both.
Let's hear it.
Friends long absent are coming back to you.
Wait, what was that again?
Friends long absent are coming back to you.
I don't know if that's good or bad.
Right, I mean, that's someone that's gonna.
I don't want my crazy X coming back to me.
Exactly.
It could be bad.
That's why I said this is a bad one.
For the police.
I mean, friends at this point.
Yeah.
When they know you by first name basis,
I remember when the cops found my phone one time.
So friends are just gonna show up out of nowhere.
Yeah, long absent.
Well, we know a couple we don't want to see around here.
Yeah, but they're not long absence.
Well, what do you define as long absent?
More than two months.
You just went right to the lowest limit.
You didn't even think about going higher than that.
But long absent would really be years.
I mean, that's not really a long absence.
It's like 60 days.
Yeah, there we go.
It would be like four or five years.
Okay.
That seems like a.
It would really be perfect.
Yeah, depending on who these people are.
Yeah.
Lifetime would be even better.
Sometimes.
Let's just stick with that.
Just don't come around no more.
Yeah.
But,
That fortune cookie 500, I'll tell you man,
it could really ruin your life.
It'll fuck you up.
Man, I hope you're not talking for us personally.
We're just saying in general.
Just in general for everybody.
If you live life fortune cookie to fortune cookie.
Yeah.
You're gonna be in trouble.
Oh shit.
Man, I forgot to pay.
I won't eat the enemy's food.
So we can't, I mean, so we're just gonna,
maybe we should just buy some off the internet.
I won't eat Chinese food.
I won't eat a lot of fucking different food.
I like sushi though, man.
It's a tough one.
But even though it was perpetrated by us.
Right.
Pearl Harbor was an inside job.
So you can have sushi.
That's the parameters that you have to follow.
By every country that we wanna have.
Ooh, I love Vietnamese food.
Like, ah, don't worry about it.
Nothing happened there.
I had some Thai food the other day.
That's okay.
Vietnamese food is okay, right?
Yeah.
I mean, nothing happened there.
No.
It was just a big mess up.
It wasn't their fault.
No, so.
They didn't fucking come in, you know, bomb us.
We fucking went tampered with them.
Just like we always, just like we're doing now.
That's what we do.
We love war.
Oh man.
War is expensive.
It's exciting.
It's a lot of money.
It's exhilarating to fucking drop there.
I don't know who.
And slaughter thousands of fucking,
it's horrible fucking shit, man.
It really is.
Nobody should die first.
Just nothing.
And right now, hey, and you know,
remember, I'm sure everybody might remember
when I said how my band,
when they had the Iranian hostages in 79,
in the, they had them for 444 days
and they had them blindfolded
and we practiced blindfolded.
Well, they had one of the blindfolded guys
who was 20 years old at the time.
He was one of the hostages that got held in Iran
on TV the other day.
Mary was watching it.
And I watched.
This is the guy who survived it.
Yes, he survived it.
And Iran didn't want to give up the booty to Carter
or Reagan.
So they released the hostages
right as the inauguration was happening.
So there was no technically no president
in office at the time.
Okay.
They didn't want to.
They were the transfer of power.
Yeah, they didn't want to bow down
to either one of those fuckers.
Well, listen, you just said something else.
But he was just saying how they got treated
and the shit they did to him
and how fucking bad it was.
And you know, we just got to pray for the fucking people
that they got right now as hostages
because who knows what the fuck they're going through.
You know, the.
I haven't seen any video of hostages.
If you.
No, but I mean.
They say there isn't just for the sake of maybe if there is
we got to fucking hope that they're fucking treated.
They say the country's going great.
I treat them too bad.
They say we don't have a crime problem.
They say this, they say that.
Yeah.
They're just gonna believe that Larry.
Come on, you're smarter than this.
Yeah.
They think Mary Jane's got to your brain.
Maybe.
Yeah, man.
You're slowing down in your old age.
Suck a kick right in the ribs.
How would you like to wake you up old man?
But the fuck.
Okay.
So like we were talking about.
But they really did get held back then.
What's that?
Hostages.
Yeah.
Now it's now with social media, it's more paradeable.
That's what I'm saying.
Remember when the war started with all this like attack
Hamas and Israel and then all things just disappeared.
It's not as prevalent as it was.
Well, we're still going like crazy.
And today they had a huge.
Who knows what we're doing over there.
I think they had a huge rally in New York
or maybe Washington today, Washington DC.
They're just dividing the public to fight against each other.
That's what they're doing right now.
They had a huge pro-Israel rally.
It's not gonna be.
And it was completely different than the.
It's not gonna be a race war.
It's gonna be a political war.
That's what's gonna be the problem.
Because we're seeing everybody band together over this.
And the funny thing is they go and ask these people questions
and they don't know the answers.
But today when they had their rally, the is.
Which one's a Palestinian?
No, the pro-Israel rally.
There was no burning of flags.
Well, I mean.
There was no fighting.
There was nobody in masks
because nobody has to hide who they are.
Well, there's a lot of FBI plants just like
at January 6th that they've proven.
And just like at other places.
They plant these people in there to incite violence.
And they want us to hate each other.
And that's the easiest way to break down a society.
Separate them.
Well, yeah.
I mean, if the government has any hand.
I'm not saying there's not plants.
I'm just saying that the crowd was completely different
at the rallies.
The Palestinian fuckers were.
Okay.
But who are animals?
Maybe that they, they putting these plants in there.
Maybe these people are doing something completely different.
It doesn't help anybody.
War is not going to help anybody.
But these people that are.
It's going to help.
These people that are.
Well, these people, well, yes.
And Boeing.
It's going to help all of them.
And all of them.
And all of them have a stake in that.
They all got skin in the game, man.
They're all going to fucking make tons and tons of money.
Everybody's got skin in the game.
Yeah.
We all do too.
Except we're not making money off of it.
We're paying for it.
And they're fucking making money off of it.
Yeah.
Just want to see bugs and shit.
Yeah.
That's all right.
You know, we're going to grow meat.
We don't need, all the land can be used up
for whatever we want.
Cause we're rich.
That's all right.
Supposedly Markey Ramon would eat anything for money.
And before gig one time, someone offered him like,
short money, like $10 to eat this huge fucking roach.
And it was big fat.
This guy was known for this?
Yeah.
He would like eat anything.
And Johnny Ramon was like, dude, dude, don't.
Yeah. You're going to get sick and die.
You're going to get sick and fuck up the gig
for like a five or $10 bet.
Don't eat that.
Just wait until after.
And?
I don't know if he did.
What the fuck, Larry?
That is the worst story ever.
But he wouldn't eat the bug for any time, man.
He didn't even know the ending.
No, he would eat bugs all the time.
I know what you didn't even know.
How do you know this?
Cause they wrote about it in the books.
Oh yeah.
I was there, dude.
I was backstage.
It was in Argentina.
You all know fuck.
Let me tell you.
You were a corner boy in Argentina.
Just a gay vampire.
That's what you're going through.
Just going through life.
Laugh it up there, Einstein.
I am.
I'm gone now.
Just hanging around in Boys Town.
Sucking blood.
Waiting for some blood to suck.
That's all right though.
I mean, it's so funny how,
what's a dude in California knew some?
Yeah.
Yeah, how they cleaned up San Francisco so quickly.
It's like, okay.
If you want to do that for China, bro.
What did they do with all the piles of shit?
And the swinges.
What do you mean?
They got rid of everything.
They don't care.
Homeless, shmoleless.
Go shit somewhere else.
They just swept them under the rug.
The minute they'd fucking,
J-Ping leaves, they'll be back for that night.
Well, no, no, no, no, no.
Here's the deal, Larry.
Where'd they go?
No, now they're turning into a police state.
Now there's gates up already.
They have a reason to put the gates up, Larry.
That's just for show for J-Jing Ping now, right now.
Why wouldn't they leave it up?
It's probably expensive to tear it down.
Leave it up.
They don't care, it's taxpayer money.
No, you leave it up.
The sky's the limit.
Now you fucking have control of the whole city, in and out.
Yeah, I don't think they care.
I don't think they care.
I think they'll put it up for J-Jing Ping,
and I think as soon as the motherfuckers leave.
You don't think there was a more cost-effective way
to fucking get the homeless out of downtown San Francisco
than build huge metal gates that are black
that basically go to the edge of the street
where the sidewalk meets in the curb
and goes all the way around.
Come on, Larry.
Dude, this is a huge scythe, dude.
You don't think that they would waste that kind of money?
They already did.
Yeah, and they'll take it down too,
and they'll waste it even more.
They don't fucking care.
Now they're gonna see, like, oh,
he's doing something about the homeless,
and now there's no more crime.
It's like, okay.
It's not gonna last.
The problem is, is that all these homeless people
that used to be spread out,
and then they all coagulated in one area.
Everybody out there in computer land marked my words.
This is Larry Jones telling you that.
The night that G-Pain fucking leaves San Francisco,
wherever the fuck he's going.
I'm not saying they won't tear it down.
I never said that.
I'll be right back.
The homeless will be right back,
and they'll tear it down on those gates.
But I never said that they weren't gonna tear it down.
I'm saying this is the perfect way for them
to get more control over everything.
Oh, yeah.
That's what I'm saying, Larry.
They fucking have the gates up.
Why would you take them down?
That place is more secure than the White House.
I mean, shit.
Do you see the pictures of the Coke there?
The White House?
Yeah.
I mean, come on.
It was like a glamor shoot.
Yeah.
For like, what is that, Stoner magazine?
Yeah.
Or fucking cocaine time.
A little bag of Coke and a little
a bowling alley locker.
Yeah.
Come on, really?
Yeah.
And you can't test to see who's fingerprints
were on the locker.
Of course they can.
And fingerprints were on, I mean, listen.
Who has the key?
Do you know what the best is?
I watched like forensic files.
Like, oh yeah, they do this shit in the lab.
They found one here and they fucking had the root
and they got the DNA of the guy.
Yeah, okay.
Whatever.
But here's the thing.
They know who's Coke it is.
They know it's fucking.
It's gotta be some good shit.
Well, here's the other thing.
It was mixed with baking soda.
No, oh, they were getting it rocking there.
They were ready to fucking Coke that shit.
It was Obama left it there.
Yeah.
So, but no, Hunter smokes crack too.
Well, I'd rather, I think Obama's funnier.
So one of the guys on TV said,
not only did they not find any DNA
or fingerprints on the Coke,
but it was had baking soda mixed in it.
So the guy got ripped off and I'm thinking,
no, the guy was gonna cook that in the fucking crack.
Yeah, just do a banger before you go into a meeting.
Yeah.
Or you're gonna meet the,
pre-mixed little package for Hunter around the house.
It's easier just to get crack.
You know what I mean?
I don't want to be a fucking.
But you know, when you're fucking.
Which even seems funny.
When you're junking and you get whatever you get,
you're gonna use it.
And listen, if you're sneaking Coke into the White House,
you can sneak crack into the White House.
But actually you have to light it and smoke it though.
That's the problem.
When you got the money.
You gotta blow it out.
Hunter, when you got the money to waste like Hunter,
it's not, and you know how it is
where you fucking put drugs down
and totally forget cause you're wracked out.
First of all, it looks like a photo,
it looks like a photo shop or like a photo opportunity
to be like, I mean, really,
when I used to do Coke,
I wouldn't leave my Coke anywhere.
No.
And especially it wouldn't have baking soda in it.
And here's the thing though,
you didn't have the abundance that Hunter has
in his fucking thing.
You really think it's Hunter Biden?
Or whoever.
Okay.
Whoever it is.
Get off that hill.
But here's the thing.
There's the other thing though, Needles.
The only people allowed in that area.
Yes.
Are family members.
It was sort of like a VIP entrance or something.
Yeah, it wasn't like anybody goes through there.
Nobody fucking really goes through there
except personal family members.
And there's no camera on there
and they're fucking coming.
Yeah.
What up?
You know what?
I don't trust the government.
Locker number 50.
If anybody fucking trusts the government,
it's crazy.
Well, you gotta be an asshole
if you believe the government.
I don't know what, I mean,
what your best interest is
for them to vaccinate you?
No.
For them to control your money?
No.
For them just to take our rights away
and make us do bullshit for like to jump through hoops?
Yeah.
For what?
What is the outcome of this?
If this guy gets reelected, man,
come on.
Well?
That is a travesty.
If he even runs again,
guy could barely walk.
Again, I know.
But again, it could be like, you know,
Jim Carrey with a fucking mask on.
Well, I know you have this huge thing,
conspiracy, or you're seeking the truth
that Joe Biden is not Joe Biden.
They'll keep them alive as long as they need them.
Okay.
You know, cause they're running everything right now.
They don't need really Joe Biden or anybody.
They could just.
They just need somebody to stand in front
and wave their hand.
Cause when you think about it,
most of the presidents were just fucking,
you know, hollow fucking.
Shells?
Yeah.
People that had no fucking.
Totally.
Well, you know what?
There were people that had smarts,
but at the same time.
I'm not saying they didn't,
but when they really wanted to do something like Lincoln.
Do you want to be the president?
Can they?
Fuck them.
They kill you.
I mean, listen, I don't,
I like my brains where they're at.
Me too.
I want to keep them inside my head.
Yeah.
And spread them all over.
All over back of a fucking Lincoln.
And then the front and then the side.
And the other side.
Yeah.
And all that one shoot.
You know what's really fucking great?
What's real great?
The first night it was cold here in Chicago,
the Venice Swaylans were like,
fuck that, we want to go home.
Yeah.
You want to hear something great?
And they said the American dream is over.
Well, yeah, you came to Chicago.
And they also said there's nothing here for us.
We want to go home.
Yeah.
So they were.
They would rather go back to Venice Swaylans
and fucking be here.
Yeah.
Well, wouldn't I mean.
That's really fucking great to hear.
You literally just come here.
There's whatever.
You know, okay, so I see these.
So.
They're supposed to be seeking asylum though,
running from.
Well, you can't go to seek asylum somewhere
where they don't have room for you.
Well, no, but the thing is.
I mean, you just can't come to the United States.
No, but they're supposed to be running from something
that's so bad like war or they can't take it.
They're not just supposed to be coming here
because they want to check it out.
They're supposed to be on vacation.
But the true meaning of asylum seekers is motherfuckers
who are under fire in their own home country.
Venezuela's pretty rough.
I'm not saying that it's not.
The money's worth fucking dick.
Chicago ain't easy.
It's not easy.
Well, compared to Venezuela,
you die.
Dude, the crime runs rampant in Venezuela.
I know.
They got neighborhoods just like they got here.
And you know, thousands of murders a year.
Tens of thousands.
Venezuela's a fucking rough place, man.
I don't know if that's MS-13, is it?
No.
Is it? Yeah.
Man, that's a rough fucking place.
Those guys will hatch at you.
And there's videos to prove it.
They want to go back, though.
Who wants to go back?
The Venezuelans.
Well, I mean, I want to.
It's too cold here.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, too cold.
They don't like the digs, man.
It's not good enough.
So there's these people,
there's migrants that sell flowers at the stoplights.
Yeah.
They live. Nice.
And one of the dudes, like a new dude,
and I asked him, you know,
the windows were down and he's like,
hey, you want to fly?
I'm like, no, where are you from?
He's like, Venezuela.
Oh, motherfucker.
Cold out.
He's like too cold.
I was like, hot right?
I was saying nothing yet, buddy.
But there's a lot of them now.
They're all over the place selling like flowers and shit.
And they get money, too.
They'll have signs, Venezuelan.
A lot of them.
What?
What's wrong?
They're getting paid, man.
Well, it doesn't look like it,
but at least they're hustling.
I'll give them that.
I like the hustling spirit.
It's nothing wrong with this.
As long as you're not hurting anybody.
Those might be the fucking UN soldiers.
I'm sorry.
What's that?
Those might be the UN soldiers.
They might be?
Yeah.
Just out casing the joint,
pretending they're selling flowers.
Usually you'd think it would be a woman selling flowers.
You know, and I do have a.
Not to be a sexist.
I have a reservist base of like a block and a half
for my big fucking base, like military base.
Yeah, yeah.
It's the middle of downtown where I live.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
And huge, like 10 foot fences, barbed wire and shit.
It's very silly.
I wonder what's there.
Probably a warhead.
I'm sure.
That place can definitely be fucking.
It won't be missed.
I'll tell you that right now.
You're like, oh, there.
That's all right.
Don't worry about it.
Yeah.
You can put one there.
If there's a nuclear leak, those people won't know.
No.
Hmm, in the ghetto.
It's not the ghetto.
You just like to think it is.
I know.
It makes a mystery.
It's actually really nice.
It's not bad.
It's old school.
That's old school as fuck.
That's what's cool about it.
Got radiator heat, motherfucker.
You never had radiator heat.
Of course everyone's had radiator heat.
Or at least knows what it is.
So did I tell you what I found on Groucho?
The cigar cutter?
This little fucker.
Jesus Christ, man.
He had a little knife.
No more of Larry's autistic corner.
He just can't help himself.
Groucho had this knife.
I took it from him.
I'm like, what the fuck are you doing with this?
I don't trust him.
What's that?
You don't trust him?
I don't trust him, especially when he had something like this.
I found it in his suitcase.
It's pretty cool.
It's got a little heart on it on one side.
Yeah, that's ironic when he kills me with that.
I'm gonna cut myself.
You press the little thing.
Oh, there it is.
It's a cool little, it's got like rashes.
It's got like.
Serrated edges.
It's a killer.
Maybe I'll give that to Sonny for Christmas.
I can't get word on a chain.
That's all he needs to do is fucking.
He just pulls a knife.
He's got a knife and shit.
Oh, oh shit.
That'd be great.
I forgot.
So I'm excited to go to Krav Maga.
Well, that's good.
You should be, because I'm gonna whoop your ass tonight.
It's gonna be fun.
I like choking you.
I'm probably gonna get to wrestle with those chicks finally.
They're gonna say, well, there you go, hon.
I don't know why you're so obsessed
with wrestling with women.
I know you think you fetishize it.
Fetishize it.
I know it could you want to.
And I know they're gonna say me.
What the hell does that mean?
Now you deflect on me?
No, I know that that's what you really want to.
To wrestle with women?
Yeah.
No, not at all.
Why?
And they're not my type.
One of them's a couple sandwiches above a picnic.
I didn't say which one.
And the other one is skins and bones and melons.
Well, that's the one I'd be able to beat up.
So that's all.
Skin and bones and melons.
That's all I'm gonna say.
Okay.
Yeah.
I wouldn't want to fight a chick that could kick my ass.
She can't hit by a car.
She's tough, dude.
She's the only told us.
That's the greatest.
She's like, I got hit by a car in Japan
and we just started busting out left.
We couldn't even hold it back.
We're like, are you okay?
She's like, oh yeah, I'm fine.
And she's nothing.
I thought she was in Japan when she got hit by a car.
I think she went to Japan but came back
and got hit by a car.
That's what you get for visiting the enemy.
That's how they get you secretly.
And she's nothing more than like 85 pounds.
Yeah.
She's tiny.
So she was able to take a car hit.
Yeah.
And she's brilliant.
You think she'd be brittle as fuck?
You know.
Old lady bones and shit.
She ain't that old.
I know, but she's fucking dull skin and bones.
She's probably a little younger than you.
A little younger than me?
Yeah.
Dude, she looks like she's 60.
I know she don't.
Yeah, she does.
You're fucking crazy.
Man, you really have eyes for her, don't you?
No, listen, I figured.
Yeah, you do.
You're fucking married, Larry.
I don't have eyes for her,
but I'm just saying, simple mathematics.
She's so, she told me.
Here we go.
She told me when she was.
Put your seatbelt on.
In college.
And she told me when she was buying some Rolling Stones
tickets for a certain tour.
And I know how long ago the tour was.
And so I know that, I know how old she is.
Is that how you gauge people's ages?
Well, cause I remember.
She's a Rolling Stones concert.
Yeah, and I remember the tour and I remember the years.
So I know, I know that she was in college during that year.
Okay.
So she's not that old.
Man, she looks like she's 60.
She did it.
She did.
That's all right.
She's been hit by a car.
I ain't saying she's fucking Miss America or nothing.
I didn't say that either.
I definitely did not say that.
She's honorable though.
But honorable.
Very.
She got honorably discharged from Japan.
She's not an honest.
She had to take that bitch out.
That's all right.
See, fuck, it still kicks your ass though.
I know you want to put your hands on her.
So Sonny's gonna fucking smell the weed today
and probably work us over.
Well, this is you.
Can't stop.
You're addicted.
Well, you're gonna smell like weed too.
Okay. Well, will you the cops?
No, I mean, I'm just saying.
Get ready for a fucking beating.
Dope from you?
From Sonny.
No, no, I don't think so.
You're gonna get your samples and get to the election.
Don't lift those hands by me.
I'll fucking crack you, man.
You're coming at me.
Hold them bitches up.
Shit.
Well, I want to do a special thank yous today
because I'm not gonna forget anybody.
I first want to thank God, Jesus.
Jesus Christ, thank you.
I don't think the Holy Spirit.
Man.
No, I'm not kidding though.
Okay.
Alex, I want to thank my nephew
it was his birthday yesterday.
Happy birthday, bro.
Even though-
Shout out shorty, thank you, bro.
I texted him, but I'll say it now.
And you know, so 30 people could hear it.
No shirt, Nick, Jeff out there in Rockford,
Stoney in Rockford, Bobby, no filter, Frank.
Kiki, thanks for the camera, buddy.
Yeah, thanks for the camera, Kiki.
Love ya.
My dad.
Big Joe.
Groucho.
Stupid puppet.
What's up, buddy?
Oh man.
I didn't even notice he was there till now.
I don't like how you keep on bringing him
into the shot more and more.
Is he in the shot?
Oh wow.
He's in the shot.
He's been in the shot the whole time.
I didn't even notice.
Well, here's the thing.
I didn't even notice either.
That's why I don't trust the motherfucker.
Yeah, I don't trust him.
He has this knife.
That's why he sneaks up into the shot.
I didn't even know he was there either.
I kind of just noticed.
I really do hope he kills you.
That'd be amazing.
Like Konki's gonna kill him.
Choke your little ass out.
Okay, Chris down there in Florida.
Hope you feel better, Bobby.
Matthew in Florida.
Your gate.
Ross.
Dave Zodiac.
Mr. X.
Shout out Mr. X.
Mary.
I haven't got an idea in a while.
My wife.
Very nice.
Harmy.
Kat.
Melana.
Kat.
Sherry.
Love you.
Jay.
You better come in here and try to fight me soon.
Or I'm gonna get you.
Jay wants to come on the show.
We're gonna have her on soon again.
She's a trip.
She hit her with her sandal last time.
Last time, yeah.
Last time she was on.
And it was a technical difficulty.
It was a fuck up on my part
because we were drinking so much.
She literally pulled one of Needle's shoes off of him
and beat him with it.
And it was so fucking funny and she was enraged.
Love you, Jay.
Chrissy.
Becky.
Tiffany.
And I gotta mention,
for the camera, Kiki got us
for all these microphones and everything else.
We love everybody that's listening, man.
Like, follow and subscribe.
We're just starting out.
We're getting a little bit of momentum, man.
We love you guys for listening.
Very little.
Oh, yeah.
I'm not talking about your day.
But yeah.
No, I'm talking about yours.
We're talking about the momentum, you fucking moron.
So, I want, he's fucking this up
because this is the most important part.
Tom Sreaklin.
Yeah.
Autumn Moment.
Shout out to Tom.
In Veterinarian Services.
Tom Sreaklin.
It's where you gotta go when things are low.
If your tongue's got some bumps
from licking someone's rump, call Tom Sreaklin.
Yeah.
Anybody else?
Is that it?
No, that's it.
Okay.
The most important part is y'all gotta tell somebody,
and hey, give us a like if you can,
if they don't make you go through too many fucking hoops.
I know I try to go like something
and they want you to, you know,
I think everybody has YouTube or whatever.
Yeah, they want you to sign up for something
and then I try to sign up and they say,
you already are, you can't sign up
because you already signed up.
Well, I don't know my fucking password then.
You could usually change it Larry.
I know man.
I mean, there really is a simple solution.
You just give up at step two.
You don't even go further.
You type in the bad wrong password
and it tells you to enter a new one
and you just give up.
Ah, I didn't get that.
It ain't like that.
You just said it was.
You're like they won't get it.
You didn't quite get that.
I mean, you can always get a new password Larry.
I know.
It's not that difficult, you stoner.
I know.
I mean, it's sugar baby winter.
You're inside now brother.
Time to renew all the passwords.
No, time to remember them first.
You don't even have to renew them.
You just don't give any effort.
And it's funny because I have them all written down
in this spot and you know,
the one I always need, like I just need them
when I can't remember what it was.
And everything's there except that fucking thing.
And I'm like, you know, it's like really?
Well, you're an old man too.
You lose a lot of shit.
It's fucked up.
Yeah.
And you're just stoned of the fucking gills man.
That's what it is.
I mean, you're doing bong hits, smoking joints all day.
No, I'm not.
Bullshit you're not.
You think I am.
Are you lying right to my face?
No, I'm not lying.
I can tell in your voice.
I'm not lying.
You're totally lying.
I might have done a couple of bongs.
It's not like I'm all day doing them and shit.
You're a liar.
What a liar.
You can't even remember the last time you got high.
Yeah, I do.
I did a bong right when you walked in.
Oh, yeah, see.
And then we smoked a roach.
Didn't we?
See, I don't know.
I think I did.
I had bong hits and then I smoked a roach.
Yeah.
And you wonder why you can't remember your passwords.
And you said I had them written down.
Which is even worse.
So you can't translate that to the computer?
They're not, the one I needed wasn't there.
How about we just go sign up for a new password
since you already have the notebook.
You can use the new notebook
or the notebook to write down the new password.
Yeah, it's not a notebook.
I have it written on something like a safe.
And it's in a safe.
You have your passwords, where's the safe?
You forgot to add two?
I tried to picture in my house.
Okay, do you remember the code for that
or did you forget that?
Oh, yeah, I know that.
So all you have to do is get the papers out
to get your passwords.
You really give up at step two around here, don't you?
Not even step one.
All you have to do is just open the safe.
Well, you might have to get a key.
Actually.
So technically step two.
Actually, it's not a safe.
It's on the back of one of the pictures.
Oh my God, I mean, this is a real ramshackle operation.
I can just turn the picture around and read it.
Wait a second.
I don't have a safe.
I don't know what you, I was thinking you were like
a little dinky one that someone could just pick up
and take a one.
I got one of those.
I have one of those.
That's where you keep all your love notes
and emotional things.
Yeah.
Keep all your feelings in there.
Are your toys even?
Yeah.
No, you keep your feelings in your weird toys in there.
I don't know what you're using for phone nowadays.
Jesus.
Real disgusting.
Very.
All right.
I think we should have that.
Someone's got to do it.
All right.
We gotta go to Crave and we gotta add it.
Like, follow, subscribe.
Thanks for listening.
If you listen this long, we love you.
Peace.
Yes.
I really do appreciate it y'all.
Have a great night.
Peace out.
Later.
Flabby and nail testing.