time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.
Alright everybody, welcome to the Larry and Needles show.
I'm Larry and I'm Needles. It's Kiki. We have a special guest, Kiki.
Now you get to see what this Pollock looks like.
Oh boy. Kiki, how do you get a one-arm Pollock out of a tree?
I always love that word.
Oh, that's a great one. We can always start with good ones.
That's high quality shit.
It's very high quality shit.
Hey man, I wanted to start out with some corrections for last week.
For last show.
Okay.
Remember when I couldn't think of Jackie O's husband's name?
I knew the last name on NASA's.
Yeah, the Shippey Magnate.
Aristotle.
Yeah.
Aristotle on NASA's.
The kid with the plate in his head came to me.
His name is Ken.
Okay, that sounds like a...
Larry knew a kid that had a plate in his head when they would play baseball and he was a little kid and he had a helmet.
I thought it was like a plate.
Like a baseball hit, said it's going to crack.
That's why he needs a helmet.
It's probably a steel plate.
He went to NAM.
And then the other thing was the name of the book I couldn't think of was the Trayvon Hoax.
We're going to talk about that.
No, okay, that's it.
Gilbert.
All right.
Are you good now?
And also that Tom still has a few crack baby mobiles left.
Really?
Even though I said that it was going to go, the promotion was going to go until the 7th.
He's probably going to run out because it's been busy.
All right.
Well, that's good to know.
Thanks, Larry.
How you doing today, Larry?
Good.
I mean, now that you're kind of indoors, you're fucking going all squirrely, aren't you?
I didn't go outside.
Just wrecking your meat all day long.
Well, that's what you're doing.
It's cold out.
Well, not when you're married.
Hey, let me hit that thing, eh?
Okay.
All right.
You're putting it away.
Why are you putting it away?
Well, no, I was going to light a smoke.
Oh, here we go.
Do you hear about all these migrants that are starting to, in Panama, they're starting to
travel over here?
Start.
Well, they'll start, they get them to Panama and then they jump them over and then they
start shipping them over.
No, no, they all get it.
There's a map.
They all get maps and tells them the best way to go.
Yeah, it's like a jet stream.
But they were saying that there's a bunch of Syria.
It's crazy.
I think the Red Cross is actually handing out maps and they tell people how to get up
here.
And then there's people waiting.
Now they have like stations where people are actually waiting, set up where there's camps.
You can camp here for the night.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean, base camp at Mount Everest or something here's where you hang out first.
Yeah, this is where you secure all your free food and money and everything you need.
There's a credit card and they give them.
Yeah, they do give them like not EBT cards, but they do give them preloaded debit cards.
I told my brother, like my brother's doing nothing.
I'm like, dude, move them.
Panama, you can do the track up.
He's taking money.
He's a ginger.
Start speaking.
My friend from Colombia is a ginger.
Okay.
So they do have them here and there.
I mean, it's not as.
Oh, wait.
He doesn't speak in a different language than American English.
I heard some of the first gingers were actually in the Middle East.
Really?
In the day.
Yeah.
It wasn't like the Irish.
It's somewhere in the Middle East.
That's what they got.
It doesn't make sense.
So how fair their scared is.
That's what the Jins came in.
You know, that kind of is like, usually when you see people like that, they have what do
you call it, the Isle of Skintone or something.
So they don't, you know, like Africans, it's hot as hell there.
They're black.
Right.
You know, there couldn't be a.
Well, this was before it was a desert there.
Now it used to be, you know, a panjee flush.
Yeah, it's to be flush.
And they had right here.
flush green.
Well, I mean, then then you're going to tell Larry that the earth is round, right?
Come on.
You got to get past the firm right there.
You know it.
So you want to hear a funny story.
Space is fake.
What's that?
Space is fake.
How so?
You just said it yourself.
I know, but I don't know how so or space fake.
One of your leery take on this.
You can't go there, man.
You can go up.
So you can go up, but you can't get anywhere.
Well, we're watching those videos that we were sharing with Mr.
X and shit about the Indians landing on the moon, which is the greatest.
It looks like India.
India.
India looks like something out of space invaders.
Yeah.
Exactly.
It's like their production of like Superman.
You ever see those videos?
Oh, Bobby would rock.
Yeah.
Dude, those guys like fire.
They didn't even bother.
They forget to put helmets on.
Oh, yeah.
They're just rocking out, dude.
And those guys don't give a shit to the sexiest guys in the world, they think.
Is that what you think?
No, I said that's what they think.
Well, they got great hair.
Well, I love it.
We were talking about that when they put the picture up and all the Indian.
Oh, pretty lady.
It was a painting.
Yeah, they were all talking to me.
They were all seducing it.
Yeah.
That was classic.
It was all Indian guys.
Some of them were giving their phone number.
Yeah.
It was a pay off.
Those guys are horny motherfuckers.
Yeah, that's comedy gold.
Let me tell you, they don't care about it.
I was watching this thing about they would like just go through the phone book and try
to talk to a lady.
Just to hear a voice.
Just to hit on her.
Dude, there's a billion people there and you're doing this.
You weirdos.
I mean, how creepy do you have to be when a billion people aren't good enough for you?
You got to call another country.
That's classic.
You can't see most of them because they're fully wrapped and shit.
You talking about the dudes?
Not the dudes, the women.
Well, I'm not.
I'm talking about the women.
I don't think they do.
Well, that's like the Middle East, I think they're called.
Yeah, they're like, what is that, a burqa or what?
They still wear long ass things all the way down.
I don't know, India, man.
They do.
I don't know.
I think their heads aren't covered.
Well, the Muslims do.
Some of them should be covered.
Yeah.
I mean, you can go drink out of your rags.
Some of them are rags.
Ganges, if I'm wrong.
It's fucking nasty.
Well, hey, when you shit, you need it at the same river.
Oh, well, I mean, it's gonna happen.
It's like people think we have it so bad in this country and then you just all you have
to do is click on something from India or China or any of these countries that are just...
Yeah.
You'll see one guy taking a shit in the river, waving to another guy that's bathed.
What are you doing?
I mean, man, if you drink a glass of that water, you probably die instantly.
But here's the thing, man, even if you go to like England or Germany or somewhere civilized,
you still want to fucking get back here.
You're like, oh man, we got it made.
Oh yeah, we got it.
We definitely have it made here.
I mean, there's, I mean, there's, they should just get buses of people that don't want to
live here and take our migrants and ship all those people down to where they want to come.
So here's the thing, man.
And with the migrants too.
All the loudmouth movie stars like, you know, your Robert De Niro's and all these fucking
cunts like him.
Oh, you know, when Trump's president, I'm leaving the country.
They never did.
They never left.
They never ponied up on that.
They never fucking...
Rosie O'Donnell, like crying and shit.
Yeah, get the fuck out of here.
Listen, you're fatty.
Why are they still here?
I do love when Donnelly's like, nope, I didn't say all women were bitches.
Only ugly.
Rosie O'Donnell is the only ugly.
So that...
Oh, they have like a feud going on, which is funny.
The guy who's running for president just like, by a waste and early call it fucking, roasting
people on Twitter.
Yeah, he is.
He's amazing.
Like people don't...
The comic value of that is awesome.
It is.
I mean, we get a president now whose actions are comedical.
Hey, what?
I left my phone upstairs that was going to be the timer.
Aw, thanks Larry.
Now you just remembered?
Well, yeah.
Okay.
So I'm saying it.
How much time are we in?
Well, this is...
Aw, man, we've been going for about a half hour now.
Yeah.
His mental timer is working well.
He's just retarded timer.
Dude, we've been going about three minutes.
Just started.
It's not that bad.
Pulls his pants down and he walks through a pickle patch backwards.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
We didn't miss the train.
That's all I heard.
What was that though, Larry?
I wasn't listening because I was roasting you.
I know you're one of Jackass.
Just do what I tell you.
Oh, okay.
What's that?
Punch you in the throat?
I will fucking...
You're lucky Kiki's in between us.
Oh, yeah.
If we get 100 subscribers, Larry and I are going to fight on one of the episodes.
But he's not going to know it.
There's a lot of big fucking talk from over there.
Oh, yeah.
You're going to be like Don King.
You guys don't know when to fight.
Now that we have cameras, the people out there will know when the fight is going to
happen.
We're going to be on the ground and the chief of Mike set up.
Okay.
There's your girdling noises.
I just noticed I should be wearing my croft shorts.
That can be like showing.
You should have on your croft shorts.
We signed up and cropped and the girl said, hey, you can't come in shirtless.
You got to wear a shirt and she's in like, no boy shorts.
She looked at needles especially.
Did she say that?
Yeah.
No, she didn't look at me.
She thought we were gay too.
She didn't look at me.
Did she tell you that?
She said no boy shorts and I'm like, are you kidding me?
Forget it then.
They don't like the, we left.
She didn't tell me that.
I'm surprised.
Yeah.
Because she knows you're going to, I mean, you're lucky you wear a shirt.
I know.
You should show up shirtless one day.
They'll tell you.
You got to wear a shirt.
Sonny will ask you politely to leave.
He's just going front and put one on right outside the window.
And then he'll politely grab you by the neck.
But then Mike will think of it.
There's nothing politely about him grabbing you, which is hilarious.
You know, you did gun training yesterday.
Love it.
We did one, we did knife training before.
Yeah.
Learning how to disarm people with a pistol.
That was actually pretty fun.
That was actually pretty fun as shit dude.
It really is.
And then you work them over in the throat with some elbows.
Yeah, that's good stuff.
Oh yeah.
And then at the last move you turn the gun on them.
Yeah, and then you break their fingers from the gun on them and then whatever you want
to do after that is up to you.
Yeah.
Torso leg.
What I was doing boxing the other morning too, the guy was teaching me too, is when
you're blocking too, you're basically doing the same kind of crop move.
Moving the wrist out is like holy shit, it actually, they take the best moves.
Fuck yeah, let me stab you.
Yeah.
I don't think everybody's pulled a knife out and just shaked your fat ass right now.
Right in the fucking pierogi.
Right to the potatoes and sautons.
I'm going bone.
Make sure you get a play down.
That's a, you just come out fucking bleeding sourcrout.
Oh, so then you know what, I do have a story.
This is a funny story.
I hope so man, because so far you're fucking boring the fuck out of me.
You can leave anytime you want.
It can be the Kiki and Needle show if you want.
You son of a bitch.
Oh shit, I forgot to set the timer because you're a fucking jokester.
Yeah, because it's my fault, right?
Yeah, because you're joking around.
How do you think?
I didn't even mention it too.
I even said set the timer.
I know, but then.
You started riffing on me.
It was so hilarious.
I forgot to fucking set the timer.
I'm a ripper.
I saw the best.
I mean, because there's a couple of those letters in that word.
I saw the best Colleen costume.
Just a video I sent you.
There was a girl dressed up as Buffalo Bill and she had the white poodle in her hand and she was sitting there.
It was fantastic.
I didn't see that.
She had the music going.
You don't pay attention this time.
That was fantastic.
It made me think it's like I'm gonna have to have it in my contract every time I come on your show.
That's gonna have to be my entry song.
You guys put it on.
You can stand to fuck your dick in between your hands.
And your butt cheeks.
Come in like a silky ass robe.
We're ready to party.
Oh man.
Oh shit.
What?
You can't find it really?
No, I can't, but I just can't find the starting time.
How long has it been going?
Okay, well then we'll have one.
I think it'll be fine.
There's a clock right there on the right side there, isn't it?
Is it the thing right there on the right side?
Yeah, I should tell you how long it's going.
Are you just gonna get up and leave with the fuck, dude?
We're gonna have show and tell now since you're taking it.
No, wait a minute.
Show and tell.
That's a big pine cone.
Did you just find that thing?
Yeah, I guess it puts it in his ass.
This was from when I was a kid.
I have one upstairs.
It's a little, it's the same size this way.
It's a little bigger, but around.
These actually are from these trees by where my aunt and uncle used to hang out in California
and these motherfuckers fall from some high ass trees and they fuck up some cars.
Dude, you could use those things as weapons on the end of a stick.
And feel how sharp it is.
Oh yeah, my house in Vista.
My mom would actually come Christmas night.
Oh yeah, my mom would come and call.
She'd grab them from my neighbor's yard.
There are people that don't live in California or some crazy place like that.
This is my show and tell for Larry and Neil's show and tell.
I want to get everything for your animals for you to hold.
When it was new, it was very sharp.
I've had this thing since I was a kid.
Dude, that's the one thing I didn't realize all the plans.
What are you doing?
He's gonna hang out with me.
Dude, welcome to Larry's Autistic Corner.
Where he shows you objects from the basement.
Rotisserie chicken tap, tap, tap.
Dude, that chick is amazing.
This fucking thing is pretty cool.
Listen, I don't mean to make light of that girl but the one to Tourette's.
Oh, did she go?
She is a gem.
She is, man.
Thanks for being Bob, William.
She is pure gold.
The rotisserie chicken one is the best.
I don't know if anybody's on his sick tippy tap baby wiener tap.
I fucked your dad.
That's great.
She's a cutie too.
That's great that you guys could laugh at someone's...
Oh, shut up.
She laughs at that.
What did you say to her boyfriend?
He's like, your mom doesn't love you.
Your mom doesn't love you.
Dude, I'd have no issue with that every day.
This is my boyfriend.
He's really cool.
I really love him a lot.
He doesn't love me.
We're gonna make an Oreo pie.
Cut hole, fuck her.
I fucked your dad.
Little doggy we had.
Squirting out the dog guys got my doggy.
We're gonna get Mark on here for some real life tonight.
He does not like you talking about that.
He doesn't mind.
I told him I told you.
The funny thing about that rotisserie chicken though is,
for some reason she loves rotisserie chicken and it sets off her...
That's what sets her up.
We're gonna get her on the show and we're gonna hide her.
Drop punch for the ceiling.
I'd be like, hey, can you move that thing for the microphone?
Could you go move that jacket over there and the rotisserie?
Tippy tap, tap, rotary tap.
Here's the other thing too.
The word rotisserie chicken set her off and her little tick
ended in the word rotisserie chicken.
Sometimes she would get in the rut where she did it like three or four times.
She set herself off.
She couldn't fucking stop.
I wish I had her name.
How the fuck would I look her name up though?
She said she could do a cameo.
I think we're gonna have her do a cameo with an intro for the Larry and Needle show.
That's how I was gonna play after it every time.
So he thinks it's funny to make fun of people to rot out there.
She owns it.
It's not like she's out there fucking...
It's good for her.
Yeah, man.
She wants us to...
I'm not making fun of her.
But you only have to rot.
Huh?
He's got a free Edward pass.
That's what it is.
Is it?
Yeah, if she says it, you can't get mad at her.
You know what's kind of funny?
Even like looking at him right now.
He's like the opposite of a black guy in dark.
You need him to smile to see him or like show the palms.
You can see the white...
See like, hey, where are you at?
Hi.
We have a right field there in baseball.
Come on, boy.
This isn't gonna end good.
What was his name?
He can't see.
Hey, can he?
Smile.
We can't see you.
So we can...
Yeah, he smiles.
You can see where he's at.
That's like...
Oh, my games.
Is it his house?
Yeah, of course.
He's...
He wave because then you can see his balls.
You gotta make him wear one of those towels.
You know, like the sweat towel that they wear.
But it's the same thing here.
I can see hands and face.
That's it.
He blends in with everything else here.
I wore my tracksuit today.
I'm sorry.
Tracksuit needles.
Oh, here, this is a very funny story.
So protestors board US ship, try to stop it from bringing supplies to Israel from California.
I want...
Protestors board US ship, try to stop it from bringing supplies to Israel from California.
So from California, these people thought they were shipping weapons and food and all this stuff to Israel.
These Palestinian protesters.
And they actually got onto this base and got onto a ship.
But was this in San Diego?
I think so.
I mean, Oakland.
Or, I mean, Oakland.
Yeah, California and Oakland.
But how did protestors get onto a military ship?
Protestors climbed up onto a military vessel in the port of Oakland in California Friday morning.
That's not right.
Yeah, it only seems like they would be able to do that if they let them do that.
Yeah, why are they doing that?
Because there's no fucking way.
Well, yeah, you can't just start cracking skulls with guns.
They were having Palestinian flat.
Dude, this is crazy.
No, any other country...
They were not going to get onto a ship.
Any other country, they would have been getting...
But, like...
Oh, you had it in Russia?
Yeah.
You're not going to walk away without a broken limb.
They wouldn't have been getting guns.
They wouldn't have been getting bullets, man.
Exactly.
They would be getting kicked off into the ocean.
Okay, so then...
Fuck, man.
Yeah, this is wrong.
Um...
The Arab resource organized it for the local community and, like, on the internet and shit.
And they said, they said, tell the community to come out and say, enough is enough and
that no more U.S. weapons will be sent to Israel.
Wow.
So they gathered at the port 8 a.m.
And guess what?
What?
The ship was empty.
It's been decommissioned for 17 years.
Show us how smart these people are.
Yeah.
Because that's the only way you're going to get on otherwise, because they'd fucking mow
you down, it would seem like.
But if you see...
You can't even go into a military base, man.
If you breach a fucking military ship...
Which, I don't...
I don't know how matter who you are.
I think this thing...
Since it's decommissioned...
I must admit, the setup...
I think the security was a little...
Yeah, I think it was...
That's what I mean.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's not a sire.
It's making people look bad.
Like, oh, look at these people got onto a military...
Even though this was a headline, which is funny.
And the sad part is that you condone this shit.
Who does?
You.
I don't know, man, but...
You know what the fucking kind of statement is that?
Earlier...
How do you condone it?
How do I do that?
I don't know.
You're fucking retarded.
I don't know why.
Huh?
I don't know how.
So you just make these bold statements?
Or if you're in the kitchen, you're saying...
You just...
You have Tourette's.
You just say stuff and you don't even know what you're doing over there.
Oh, man, he's getting mad at me.
It doesn't even make any sense.
Anybody that supports the boss, these are terrorists.
Listen.
They need to be abolished.
No, it's not even that.
These guys want to exterminate each other.
Well, that's a problem.
They need to be.
And another problem is that these fucking people are out there and they're protesting.
And it's like, okay, you're in America and now this guy grabs your Israeli flag and they
lose it and start fighting over.
It's like, okay, you guys are still Americans.
Okay, so obviously we know who your allegiance is with.
Yeah.
Well, the problem is too, all these people are protesting.
They're pro-Palestine.
If they went over there, Hamas, they'd probably be the first ones they killed.
How about the Phenox for Palestine?
Phenox for Hamas.
These people are such good people.
That would be the title.
Phenox for Hamas.
Yeah, they would.
They would kill us motherfuckers.
Oh, they would push a wall on us.
They would use them as shields.
Yeah, they're very archaic methods of getting rid of people.
But I don't think the kids that are in that and are Phenox that are for Hamas even realize
that that would happen if they were there.
No, they're just following their fucking girl from the blue hair.
They're Democrats.
Well, they're not even, no, they don't identify as anything.
No gender, no fucking party.
They're voting for Biden.
I don't know.
Well, I did nobody vote for Biden.
They fucking ballot steal.
I don't think anyone will this time.
They don't even, what's that?
I don't think anyone will this time.
If they do, it's gotta be fixed.
Yeah.
You're giving the fix.
It's incorrect to a lot of these idiots out here.
I mean, we just watched a video the other day of that lady stuffing multiple ballots
into a box.
They just recalled that guy from Connecticut, was it?
Because they said, can I hit that Larry?
They said that there was a video evidence of them stuffing ballots.
Oh yeah.
No, there's always is.
It's melody.
You just can't smoke it.
Yeah.
No, these libs are just, I mean, there's the read the term Lib Tart is there for a
reason.
Well, but it's not even that this is, these are federal crimes and nobody's getting
punished for this stuff.
And there's video evidence of them doing it and it's been pushed under the rug and
now it finally comes along.
I think it is.
They're all in blue states.
So.
They're all in blue states.
Nobody's going to prosecute them.
Well, now they're actually they start now.
They're actually making a turn.
Well, you know, I mean, there's another there's another huge case of voter fraud going on right
now.
Isn't that kind of weird that all of a sudden voter fraud has come to the forelight?
Well, hopefully it's this new speaker is changing things.
You know, it's has been in the forefront.
The thing is, for fun.
There you go.
I said, I apologize.
They just made it a crime to fucking mention it if you mentioned it on social media or
anywhere else.
You mentioned anything?
COVID?
Yeah.
It's disinformation.
It's all weaponized.
Words.
Words will fucking get you canceled in two seconds.
If somebody doesn't like what you say, they'll report you to somebody.
It's like a social credit score.
Everybody narks on each other now.
That's good.
Plus everybody video tapes each other.
So it's like the snake eating its own fucking tail.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I'll tell you, it's funny.
I was sitting there in Florida watching.
I was about to video tape the sunrise.
People started coming out just hanging out, drinking their coffee, watching the sunrise.
It was a couple from Tennessee and, you know, total Southern accent.
You knew they're born to raise their...
Yeah, they weren't.
Yeah.
And I was telling them...
We're local.
Yeah.
You know, I was telling them...
Telling them where I was from.
You know, I was like, you know, I was living in San Diego forever to send that.
And he's like, yeah, we got a lot of...
And I told him, like, you know, I'm done with that.
I sold my house all that crap and I'm coming down to the South because this is more of
my people.
Yeah.
And he's like, yeah, he's like, my church, we keep seeing people like moving from California.
And the first thing they say is, don't worry, we're not voting Democrat.
We're not going to change anything.
That's why we left California.
He's like, everybody's coming in and saying that.
We welcome them.
They're like, we welcome them all in.
But yeah, don't change our style.
Man, if we had a boring leader, I'd be playing it right now.
Most boring story ever told.
Man.
But that's how it works.
I know.
Yeah, that's a good fucking story.
I don't know if it's that guy.
Man, you don't understand satire.
I don't care.
Now my feelings are hurt.
Oh, these are two little fuck off.
No, but listen, who the fuck wants to stay in these places?
Everybody's trying to tell us what to do.
Well, Mike, my nephew just up and fucking took his family of five kids and moved to Tennessee
with his wife.
Yeah, but nowhere is safe, man.
That's the problem.
You can't really...
Nowhere is safe.
There isn't.
Nowhere is safe, man.
Everybody's coming for us.
That's the thing.
Everybody's coming for us.
Everybody has a gun in Tennessee.
Everybody has a gun in Texas.
Everybody has a gun in Florida.
The thing also is that everybody thinks that we're going to get a nuclear attack.
We're going to do all this.
It's like, what are we all connected to?
Our government is so stupid that they, their infrastructure is all on the internet.
Well, they're going to shut the internet.
So they're going to shut the internet.
Shit on purpose.
We're fucked.
Yes.
Exactly, Kiki.
They ain't stupid.
They're just, they're just...
You can't fuck up.
They're leaving.
No.
Yeah.
They're, boy, you can if you're the government.
You can do whatever you want, obviously.
Yeah, they're doing what they want, but they're doing what they want.
They're doing whatever...
They're not stupid.
They don't have the interest of any American citizen.
They're their own children.
Well, you said it, needles.
I mean, they're talking about, the New World Order has been talking about, well, there's
going to be an internet crash or an EMP or something to that extent and then all of a
sudden...
Well, they're already blaming it on the Russians.
The Russians are going to hack everything.
Oh, they already started that campaign.
And we all know that the Russians are totally safe and cool and never were a threat.
Maybe brainwashing us Russia since...
I don't know about that.
...the beginning of World War II.
It's not that they're a threat.
They used to be the USSR.
The USSR is gone.
Yeah.
It's like, this is a totally different Russia.
This is Russia.
It costed everything down.
All the Russian people, it's like that arms deal.
You remember the arms dealer we traded for...
Yeah, yes.
The black basketball player?
Yeah, the...
Oh, God.
Yeah, but then there's Angel Adette.
What was his name, though?
Yeah, Angel Adette.
He was the world wide arms dealer.
He fucking knew everybody.
He'd deliver jumbo jets filled with machine guns to armies.
Oh, yeah.
He was here as he got, was it Lord of War?
Lord of War, yeah.
Yeah, with Nicholas Cage.
That's what it was.
Well, no, that was a movie.
Yes.
And it was based on his character.
But I didn't see a documentary about that guy.
So, when they did the prisoner swap, he went and did an interview with, I think it was
the CIA agent, the Russian woman that hot...
The honeypot?
The one that got everybody...
Yeah, the one that got everybody.
It's been trouble.
But then he did an interview with her.
And he said, when I was in prison, he's like America, he's like rule America, he's like
they're just like Russians.
We're all the same type of people.
We have the same mindset this and that.
He's like it's the people in America and the big cities that are ruining and destroying
that country.
He, I mean, he said it because he's like, I had so much time to talk with all these Americans
and meet them all in prison.
It's like they're just like us.
Imagine how many dudes that guy's had the hand in killing.
Oh, right.
I mean, because they delivered enough guns for, like I said, armies, cargo jets.
Well, look, he would fund both sides of the war.
He would sell weapons at both sides, I mean.
Well, yeah, I meant money at just one side.
They would fight each other.
Dude, that's what they did back in the day, starting the war.
They was just selling fucking guns, man.
He didn't give a fuck.
You got it.
You go to the mountains and find these tribes and be like, hey, listen, Russia's invading
your country.
You guys want to fight against them?
Plus I think he did some like side work as a hit man, too.
You know, like, he's Russian.
When you're in the business and you have those opportunities, you think this guy just sells
guns?
No, he wants to try them out.
It's the point of having a gun if you can't use it.
You know, those guys are crazy, too.
The Russians don't fuck around.
They wrestle bears and shit.
They are fucking, they are a lot tougher than we are.
Like they allow some shit, but man, not like what's going on here.
Do they even the Russian special forces?
I forget their name, but they go like they have partners and they have to shoot each other
like in the chest.
I mean, they wear bulletproof vests.
I would hope so, yeah.
But still, like our special, they're not shooting each other like that.
No, but they still say here's what it feels like.
Yeah, I mean, that's crazy though.
What if it's just like you got to do just like a stress test like what they do in Krav
with us, they shut the lights off, they attack you.
It's like you got to learn that situation.
If you're going to learn how to kill, those guys are killing.
Yeah, they're definitely going to kill you.
Yeah, but getting shot in the chest.
The bulletproof vest is fine.
Yeah, well, hopefully it doesn't miss.
Yeah, I mean, these guys.
It still hurts, Needles.
Oh, it's got to hurt the shit, man.
Even what you wear on a bulletproof vest.
Now the technology has advanced so much that I'm sure unless you get hit with, you shoot
a 50-cali at somebody, it's different.
I'm sure they're going to use something.
I don't know.
I don't know exactly what they're...
50-cali ripping you in half.
Yeah, exactly.
You're not going to feel anything.
I'm going to say anything from short range.
You're still shocking.
You're going to get kicked in the chest.
I got a badass vest, dude.
It stops 223-556, green tips.
Yeah, but you don't want to test it out, though.
That's the thing.
Did you ever see the suits?
Like what fucking bath house...
Bath house, Barry?
Bath house, Barry would wear and like a lot of gangster cartel guys.
Bath house, Barry.
Obaidan.
Obama.
Oh, that's what they call him.
And they still want to look good, but they want to be safe.
They actually have regular shirts.
Yeah.
And stab proof, too.
Yeah, and they make it in this place.
I think it was Columbia and they showed a tour of the factory on this one documentary
I was watching.
And at the end, if you want, you could put on one of the shirts and they shoot you.
Yeah.
Awesome, man.
Really?
Not that close distance.
Yeah.
Within 10 feet.
And the guy's like, oh.
Yeah, it's kind of a...
It's got to be like getting kicked by a fucking mule.
It did not go through.
The dude was getting shot right here.
Oh, no, they have just one shot though, right?
I think that because after they...
They're so small now.
Well, but it ruins the entire...
It was amazing shot.
But this was like a regular dress shirt.
No, dude, somebody's vest like you could put underneath a t-shirt.
It won't even know they have them on and you can get shot 15 times and it won't even do
anything.
They're awesome.
Damn.
I mean, they're like, take a thousand bucks, but this thing wraps.
A thousand bucks ain't bad to save your life from a gunshot.
It's only like nine and 45.
You can't...
A five, five, six, two, three, you're gone.
But it's super thin.
I mean, it weighs like a couple pounds.
I mean, where do you need to wear a bulletproof suit to, or whatever you're gonna call it?
Well, if you're the gunned...
The angel of death or whatever.
Yeah, but those guys have the shirt and the vest.
Yeah, those guys don't mess around, man.
Come on.
Still.
Like you said, he was a kit man.
Yeah, when you turn around though...
Those shirts from this bulletproof Colombian place, these dress shirts, they were very,
very expensive because you look good.
So they mostly sold them to drug dealers and shit.
They had pants and everything.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, everything was very expensive.
They had that shit in John Wick.
He wore...
He had a bulletproof vest or a suit.
I mean, sorry.
Did he?
Yeah, a suit and then a vest that he wore.
Yeah, well, it is a movie.
Well, I mean, yeah, but you don't think the government has that technology?
I mean, you don't think that DuPont that are making...
Because I think DuPont makes all that shit.
And carbon fiber and stuff like that.
Yeah, well, ceramic.
There's a lot of different...
Talk about a boring fucking thing, man.
What's that?
DuPont.
Who cares, man?
Okay, I just said something.
Yeah.
Run, run, run, run, run, run.
But no, that shit's fucking cool, man, because eventually everybody's going to come for us.
I think my wife went to school with some kids from DuPont, one of the heirs.
You think or you know?
I think.
I'm pretty sure, but I don't exactly know which kid.
You know Peter Thinker in here?
You better know.
Yeah, well...
Yeah, that's some money.
I'm pretty damn sure.
That's fucking you, money.
Yeah, I mean, well, look at...
Remember, what was his nuts?
The FoxTruck guy.
Oh, yeah, the wrestling.
Yeah, the John DuPont.
I mean, he was a crazy cokehead.
Yeah.
And he murdered that dude.
Well, when you got that kind of money...
That's what it is.
...we get into weird shit.
Yeah, well, yeah, I do a lot of copious amounts of drugs also.
Well, the thing is too, when you have a group, a bunch of kids...
Wait a minute, man, where's the story going?
One of them's going to be a little...
You know?
When you have a bunch of kids and you have a van and you have a little bit of candy.
Yeah.
We're doing it, but yeah.
And you're on a lot of coke.
Yeah, man.
Well, you would fuck you, money.
Yeah.
One of your kids is going to have a screw loose.
That's just the way it goes.
More than one.
There's going to be a couple in every generation that are super fucked up.
You're going to have one that gets killed in a car wreck, one that commits suicide, one
that's in a nut house, one that's a whore, one that's a druggy.
I mean, I don't know about that.
It's always the way, man.
It doesn't.
No, because they have a lot of kids.
It's in the code.
It's always the way.
Yeah, it's in the code.
And they have a lot of kids.
I have like, 12 kids.
So like five of them are throwaways right off the bat.
The dads banging at least two of the daughters.
Right.
The first two kids are retired or something.
You know, I mean, there's no people like this.
I mean, this is coming up.
Look at some of these families, man.
What family dating back all the way back.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, so I say the Rothschilds, David, that's why they only marry in them.
It's got to be blood.
Well, it's like England.
It's like the England.
Also, there's a ton of inbreeding in there.
Yeah.
Look at the royal family.
Look at King Charles eyes how close together.
How about his hands?
He's got the sausage.
Look at his teeth.
He looks like fucking, fuck Britain.
Hey, stink.
They really do.
I mean, you know, I know some good Brits though.
I know some good Brits.
No, whatever.
Me too.
If you want to kiss them, I know one or two.
You guys are going the other way.
Yeah.
You know, it's not a personal level.
Whatever.
They're not our friends.
Everybody misconstrues that.
Like they're our friends.
Britain's gay.
Well, no, here's the thing.
Just like, uh, the local soccer.
About the Russian guy saying about rule.
We're all the same.
Okay.
Rule anywhere.
Everybody's all the same.
The people in England are not the government in England or the fucking King.
And, you know, the Queen, you know, I'll tell you what, when I was first,
we severed dude, every people are cool.
Thanks, Larry, for breaking down geopolitics.
First time I went to London.
I didn't say the people.
Did I?
Well, I'm just, I want to fucking split some hairs on there.
I was speculating.
First time I was in London, we went to a nightclub, me and digler.
Yeah.
Cut McSenior, senior cuddles.
Here we call the cuddles because every time I come home,
he's sitting there cuddling with his girl.
Like, dude, he was the cuddle king.
But anyways, went to London.
And we had a, you know, a black English guy come right up to say,
Oh, you guys American, you're Yankees or something.
Like, yeah, he started.
He's like, you guys want to do some blow.
Oh, man.
I mean, Jesus.
So right away.
But then he's like, he's like, well, I'm going to talk to a person.
You guys call your people from the South.
Like, he's like, that's what I am out here.
We're like, well, you're our type of people.
So we went to the bathroom.
I mean, I'll give a white speed around.
So I mean, this story really comes together.
I mean, any guy wears a snow sleeves when it's 30 degrees out.
My pits were probably sweating.
So I didn't want to have a yellow stains.
That's all right.
You guys are lucky.
You have a shirt on.
One pierogi and potato pancakes.
That's it's fucking yeah.
Speaking of Jimmy, watch those like you Instagram videos of Indian street vendors.
We're like making stuff and they're like, oh yeah, there's flies all over.
That's like rolling.
The guys got no arms.
Never seen it.
Let me hit that boy.
I think that the title of the videos are like, you want to get the shits real fast.
Yeah.
It's like Indian street food.
Yeah.
And it's like, seriously, some guy, it's like a hundred degrees out.
He's got a nub.
Yeah.
Half an arm so he can't squeeze the stuff with his hands.
So he puts it under his arm and squeezes like a cow in the background.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Remember the guy at Big Horse where the abortions played and we played a bunch of other times
too.
The taco joined the fun.
Oh yeah.
Milwaukee.
Do you remember the guy that used to make the tacos had like a crab hand with like one
finger.
That guy was the high tree.
Fucking numbed up and shit.
No, I don't remember that.
He had like three missing digits in the fucking crab hand and shit.
I'm like, what the fuck?
He's got from making tacos.
Yeah.
And he was like, he had to fight off the migrants.
He was short on meat.
Put some digits in there.
Oh, no, I don't remember that guy.
He was there at the big horse.
Oh, no, I don't remember this guy at all.
Kind of like the nub guy in India.
Well, the nub guy in India, those, well, the fucking Mexican nub guy in Chicago was a lot
cleaner, I'm sure.
He had to be.
Yeah.
I think that they're not getting what do you call it, OSHA or not even.
Chicago Street vendors.
I don't know.
The fucking food version of OSHA.
Yeah.
The food version of OSHA.
Everyone knows what we're talking about.
What is it?
The family.
The health department.
Yeah, there you go.
I'm sure they were really looking at the city.
What's that?
In India?
Yeah, yeah.
Whatever the hell you want there.
Yeah, this is a joint that was next door to the double door.
I don't know if it's still there or not.
Oh, it was actually a walk in place?
Yeah, it was like a taco stand in the front.
I'd tell you it was like a street vendor.
It was crazy.
It was crazy because in the back, anything goes like, the night the rock and roll abortions
play there, these fucking punks ripped the fucking door off the hinges.
One door they kicked in half, so it was like a Mr. Ed door.
And then the other door they totally ripped off.
And the dudes didn't even do anything.
The guys working there just continued serving beer and film beer.
Well, they were like, well, if this is what's happening when we're serving beer, imagine
what happens if we don't.
Needles fucking, fucking sucker slammed Robbie from behind.
Oh, no way.
All right, P-Turbo.
Slammed his head into the edge of the table.
I missed.
Hopefully, yeah, hopefully you're drinking some fucking, what is he drinking?
Vio, not Vio.
He's eating some black velvet in the sky.
Yeah, black velvet.
Yeah, hopefully you're drinking black velvet in that sky.
Oh, good.
My aunt actually lives where Turbo used to live.
Not the same exact, she may be in the same exact one, I don't know, but yeah.
In Medina or?
Oh, shit.
I know.
Well, is that, is that, is that, yeah, yeah, yeah.
From cold?
We were on tour once and we had a night off and we were going right by Turbo's house and
he's like, oh, oh, oh, played the gig, played gig here, played gig.
And I told Matt, you think we could stop there?
And he's like, yeah, why not?
Is it his house?
No, at the, like the local VFW home, he had Alice, Friends, and so.
Oh, in Michigan.
Yeah, yeah.
It was in Marshall, Michigan.
Yeah, he lived in Michigan, yeah, whatever.
And it was fucking in the middle of nowhere.
Oh yeah, it was like fucking thousand, two thousand people that lived there.
Yeah, it was pretty cool though.
It was pretty cool, it was fun.
Oh, that's where that, it's about that movie, that we are Marshall.
That football movie ever see that?
For the high school?
No, it was like a plane crash or something.
Oh, it was from that time.
Crashing down the high school?
No, all the players, all the kids were on it.
All the kids from the high school?
Yeah, I don't know.
I might have made that offer.
Yeah, I was gonna say that.
I'm not here to make shit up.
I've been trying to admit it, Larry.
You're not here to make shit up on my head.
What's that?
Yeah, he was just rolling his golf.
Yeah, I was just making up shit.
Just making up shit all over the place.
Hey, my cats, man.
They got cancer.
They meow, and God forbid you fucking cop sucker.
What a fucking asshole.
You are really a fucking cop sucker.
Anyways.
Anywho.
He lost his trade of thought.
They meow in a minor, they meow.
He was in minor threat.
In a perfect fifth from each other.
Well, you have videos of you playing the plane with the cats.
And then the other two cats outside, man.
The cats know what's up.
He's looking at his notes to remember his cats.
No, they do.
And the other two cats when they meow, they make the other two notes.
It's a minor seventh.
They play as a multitude of outdoor cats.
They play a G minor seven, and I don't even think they realize they're doing it.
Well, yeah, I mean, they're animals.
They just do what they want.
That's the word animals, right?
So I'm sure they have different types of pitches for anger, frequency and shit.
Yeah, different hurts and stuff like that.
I'm just talking about the feed me meow.
Yeah, they're talking trash to each other too.
What's that?
Oh, well, you should have seen these cats that he used to have.
They would fucking come up here and they would be torn up from fighting animals and cats.
Oh, yeah, cats don't mess around.
No, I like to use the videos.
The cat, they know if a camera's watching them, there's a cat that took, you see the
paw, goes in the camera.
Talk about cat videos.
Yeah, right, and it pushes the camera, and the camera's on the dog chewing up the remote control.
So the cat's ratting out the dog.
He's like, yeah, look what your dogs do.
Stupid dog.
Yeah, I can't think.
They're too sneaky.
I don't like them.
Well, cats know what to do.
I don't fucking trust that shit, dude.
Uh-uh.
One time I had a couple of my cats, one of my outside cats and a strange cat got into a
fight.
I was going to videotape it, and it was wintertime, snow everywhere.
And then I realized, and it started getting really bad, and I'm like, oh my God, you know,
and it was horrible, and I stopped videotaping right away, and I went out there and tried
to stop it, but of course they just ran off and continued fighting somewhere else.
And because they're trying to kill each other.
Oh yeah.
You see the fucking thing.
The cat fight in his backyard between his federal cats that he has.
And the cries they make.
It sounds like someone's killing a baby.
Yeah.
It's really bad and really loud.
Your neighbors have to love you.
The guy with nine fights.
He had 12 at one point, I think, right?
More than that.
Holy, just federal cats right around?
Yeah.
He would feed them, and these fucking guys, now the cats have them trained.
They come up to the door, and they put food out for them.
They start scratching.
Yeah, no.
These fucking guys, cat people.
I don't know, man.
I can't really trust a cat person.
I love cat videos.
I saw one like, it was a head-to-head video.
It was a cat video.
South America.
It was the gayest thing you said today.
One of the cats were fighting on a roof, and all of a sudden they were fighting.
It was starting, it was like a thriller movie.
The cats hanging by its paws, the one cat's like, he's like, I got you now.
You can tell he gave him a look.
He starts like pulling one paw off, pulling one paw, and then he swiped the other one.
That fell off like a two-story building.
Jesus, man.
What the fuck are these people?
People are just like videotaping everything.
Oh yeah, somebody was videotaping it.
Yeah, it's just funny to know.
It's gotta be.
What else are you gonna do?
You're sitting in the corner all day.
You're like, oh, cat fight, which is funny.
What country was it in?
South of the border.
Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't think there was fucking mud hot or something.
Stop cat fighting in Venezuela.
It probably was.
I think everybody had sandals and cut-offs on.
No, I mean, it sounds like you're people.
Like, gosh, you need to move there.
Yeah, that's why I was watching the video.
Cats all day.
That's what you should do instead of dog fights, cat fights.
Cat fights.
That'd be great.
Dude, cats are sneaky little motherfuckers.
I don't trust them at all, man.
They're not cool except the betters cats are.
They're cool.
You just gotta know them.
Yeah, as long as they're not pissing on your pillows and shit, you're all right.
Yeah, yeah.
What do you mean?
You don't want that to happen.
No, you don't want that to happen.
Get rid of that fucker.
Put him in a bag and throw him in the river.
We would be at some entice and they had cats and we'd be sleeping over.
It's a river cat.
There you go.
See, that's what we call them.
Sorry, Larry.
What?
Nothing, man.
I'm sorry.
Nothing.
Don't worry about it.
He's gonna stop your story halfway through.
Talking shit about cats.
What's shit, man?
You ain't listening?
Fuck it.
This guy needs to take a shower.
He got some sand in his pussy.
Speaking of showers, you guys are lucky I showered tonight.
Oh, thanks, Kiki, for showering.
I mean, seeing how you...
I just got those jeans from him.
Why are they so ripped?
It's just how they can't...
Well, dude, these are like the stretchy pants.
These things are so close to mine.
You have like pregnant lady pants on.
Dude, I hated jeans, but now they're like stretchy.
I love them.
They actually fit.
I mean, Jesus, man, you dress like a middle schooler.
Hey, I like to know this guy.
Either you're gonna be hanging out at the park, at the schoolyard, rolling in the school.
I'm going to hang out at the roller rink.
They don't even have a roller rink.
They still do.
If you showed...
Ah, man.
Well, Tony's kids wanted me to go to the roller rink with them.
And so I was like, okay, no, out here.
They go to coach the same fucking one we went to.
It's still there, isn't it?
Yeah.
And I said, okay.
And the kid...
And the girl's like, please, please come.
Please.
And so I finally went and then they're like, I pay the money.
And then when I get in there like, hey, buddy, you got to wear a mask.
You know, it was...
Sort of mask.
To go roller skating?
It was back...
Oh, this was during COVID times.
Obviously, yeah.
I'm like, oh, man.
And I'm like, I'm sorry, you guys.
I got to leave.
And I asked the guy, I got to get my money back.
I didn't even skate one time around.
I ain't wearing a fucking mask.
You mean you wear a mask when you roll?
I mean, come on.
And the kids all had fucking masks on.
And I'm thinking, well, here's the thing.
Just for strict your breathing.
I worked up breathing hard with a fucking mask on.
That's the worst, dude.
Yeah, it gets all moist and shit.
Then you get fucking other complications from that thing.
Now you're breathing that fiber in and shit.
Well, the funny thing is, man, you get sicker from all the plastic fibers you breathe in
and all the people in that 18, 12 Spanish flu.
They don't need that shit.
Like, it's not, they're very healthy.
They got sicker from the mask than they did from the, I mean, Spanish flu.
Well, more people died from wearing a fucking mask.
I think when those masks were made in China, I think they make a mask.
Someone wipes it on their ass and they put it in the package.
I think that's how it works.
It's not.
Everybody, everybody just...
Well, first of all, it's got particles and different fucking nanoparticles in there.
Okay.
And metal pieces and plastics.
I mean, you want to get into silence about that shit?
It's just not, it's bad to wear it.
It's just dangerous.
They forced us to do something and that's what we had to do.
Why are we wearing a fucking made in China mask?
People complied.
Well, they wanted to see how far you can push a person and see how many would comply.
Yeah, like a stress test, basically.
Yeah, and then 50% of the liberals are, 50% of people liberals complied.
People still were masked.
Yeah, like auto immune system is compromised.
I saw a fucking kid walking down the street the other day.
Me and Mary were driving the kid, some girl walking 100 miles from anybody,
walking down the side of a busy street with a mask on by herself.
Smart.
No, she doesn't want to breathe the fumes or whatever.
I don't know.
Oh yeah, she don't like fresh air.
Yeah.
Well, I guarantee the mask was like on her nose, but then there was a huge gap here.
Huge gap here.
So she's breathing everything in, but she thinks she's...
Yeah, there's no...
I mean, come on.
There's this thing that...
It's just one more thing that controls us.
Maybe she had a bunch of coltsores in her mouth and it was her way to hide it.
That might have been.
Could be.
But they showed this thing, man, online.
Mary sent it to me.
The guy puts a bandana over his face and he breathes through the vape pen and it shows
off.
Oh yeah, you can write it through the fucking clock.
Then he puts on the surgical mask, goes right through, puts on the N95 mask, goes right through...
They're like nothing.
The COVID particles are a lot smaller than this.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, that's the thing.
But you try to tell somebody and they're like the six minute gap guard.
It's fear.
No, no, no.
It's the media implementing fear in these people that don't have a clue what's going
on and they just comply.
Yeah.
They're more than willing to let the government just completely control them more and more
by the day.
But you know, just...
And sign her rights away.
So when you find young women that are looking at wear masks, you know you can manipulate.
This fucking narrative in Maine...
It'll comply.
Hey baby, you look pretty compliant.
Just mass shooter in Maine.
Have you heard anything about it?
No, that's over.
Seriously, it just went on and happened in two days.
He shot these people.
I'm not saying people didn't get shot.
People got shot, but just understand that.
No, I'm just saying though, but it's crazy.
For whatever reason, who knows.
He had shot the most people in Maine history at one time.
Next day they found him dead and the story's buried.
Nothing else about it.
The guys ex-military and they knew he had mental issues and they're, well you can still have
him.
It sounds like a narrative to me.
You know what I mean?
It's a PSY-OP.
I actually heard a story.
I doubt it's true, but he had two gunshots to the head committing suicide.
Yeah, that's okay.
He was both guns at once.
You know what I mean?
He tied the gun to his toe.
It's like a guy that had his boot off to pull the trigger, but then put his boot back on
after he did it.
Because there's a toe print on the trigger.
After he did it, he put his boot back on.
It's like, all of a sudden this mass shooting happens and then, okay, the victims' families
are out there, but there's like, the new cycle goes so fast it's just swept under the
rug.
Well, all the cameras nowadays in every building, everywhere, the only footage we had was the
one where he came into the bowling alley.
And that's it.
Yeah, some gravey-ass thing that looked like they shot it through two screen doors.
Well, yeah, it was like 1980 cameras.
I mean, well, it is a bowling alley, so it may have been from Google, but still.
Cameras are cheap now.
I mean, we just got a camera.
They're very cheap.
That's the problem is that everybody forget, like Maui.
What the hell happened with Maui?
If that got swept under the rug, get our own fucking company.
That was a land grab.
Well, that's why they want it Israel and Hamas to start fire.
We need to get that shit off.
We need something else on the news.
Understand this, man.
They control the news and everything that we see is what they want us to see.
Oh, okay, wrong people.
You know what I'm saying?
He's talking about the news.
That's it.
I think they control my headlights, too.
It's what they want us to fucking believe.
It's what they want us to see.
No, it's not what they...
First of all, if you're watching those channels, they showed an average of how many hours those
people watch those channels.
How often does Mary watch that shit?
I don't know, but I'm just saying, no matter what channel you're watching, no matter what
you're seeing, it's what they want you to see.
It's all his.
Well, there is a near...
It's all been through your proof, by the...
If you look at the left channel, the right channel, there is no fair news.
A fair new evil election line.
If you look at his Senate hearing, I think it was back in the 80s and the 90s where they
were questioning the CIA, asking if they manipulate the media and if they have contacts with people
who work in...
You can't answer that.
Well, we like to talk behind closed doors about that.
That tells you everything.
It's the same thing here.
Last year, Time Magazine named Zelinsky Man of the Year.
It's just hilarious.
Well, now, Time Magazine's saying he's delusional.
He can't work this second.
Like, Ukraine's lost the war, all this stuff.
Well, yeah, because now we have a better war.
Well, yeah, exactly.
Well, then another thing is too, that Time Magazine, I mean, I think you can go into
CIA's website and see that they work with Time Magazine, feeding them stories.
Here's what you're going to print this week.
Here's what's going to be on the phone.
We're going to edit it and censor it to a point that makes us look like we can manipulate
anybody.
I mean, how many people owned the news?
They came up to that conglomerate about owning the news.
It's a pyramid.
Yeah, it's a pyramid.
I know that.
But Zelinsky's days are numbered.
CIA and FBI seem very confident.
They're not at all.
They're a very, very untapped, honest and succumbed.
Oh, well, come on.
They're fucking law abiding and very upstanding.
They're not at all.
That's a, I mean, that's not, I mean, anybody was half a brain.
Needles.
I know that.
I'm just saying that's the job of Time News Week and all those.
They try to pump all these people up.
New York Times or whatever.
The government has your back, Larry.
You didn't know that?
Yeah, yeah.
I just got some interest.
I saw that shit.
At least we can thank Elon Musk.
They want you to be able to get sexist.
He overpaid big time for Twitter.
Yeah.
But even like he said, he's like, well, freedom of speech is worth every penny I paid for Twitter.
Yeah, and he said it was run by the government.
Before he bought it.
Oh, the FBI had.
It was.
It was the FBI government.
No, no, there was FBI agents working at Twitter.
They were working there.
I'm sure there was also other agents working there.
I'm sure their vetting process was not that loose, but.
Well, no, there was no vetting process.
They knew the motherfuckers worked at the FBI.
Well, they opened their doors to the government.
They said, hey, I'm going to have a guy come there and work there.
How do you say?
What do you tell the FBI?
They had recorded payments.
No, if they said, hey, man, the FBI came to me and said, my kid plays the drums and we want him in your band.
You're going to teach him how to rock.
I'm not even there.
How about this?
The FBI says you need to dump this in somebody's drink or we're going to murder your family.
Okay.
We'll make you disappear.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, it's a government.
That's what I'm saying, dude.
You got to get a black suit at your door.
You're in trouble.
They'll come for your guns first and then they'll come for you.
Yeah.
That's why I have to move it down south.
That's a problem.
Everybody, everybody is power hungry.
Everybody is greedy and it's just amplified by the government when they start getting away with shit.
You know, how many people they get caught?
One of the people get caught a year, a couple.
A couple doing that.
You know, just like that lady and the mayor, Mayor Adams, his campaign financier.
Or she like, uh, FBI raided her house.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
So everybody's dirty if you put him in a position to be dirty.
All right.
Well, that's the thing.
Everybody likes money.
Everybody can be bought off.
Everybody has a price.
I don't care what anybody says.
Sad but true.
I had some stickers for Kiki and I can't seem to find them.
I'll hear that.
I want to show the people at home.
These irritate those.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I got a couple.
Okay.
Yeah, I think I already gave them some.
I did.
I want to show the people at home these dope ass Larry needle stickers that you can get.
If you just zoom in email needles or something.
Email me.
You need a prescription for Larry needles.
I don't know a little bit closer, a little bit closer.
There you go.
Right there.
Perfect.
And we got t-shirts.
We'll give them away.
Just listen.
Send us your info.
You can actually give these to your pharmacy and they will.
Yeah, just write opiate.
And I put our phone number.
I will take them.
Okay.
I give these to this guy, this homeless guy in the neighborhood, Tommy.
And I handed him a stack of catechronic stickers, a stack of fucking Larry needles stickers.
And he just rides the train up and down.
Right.
And I said, yeah, yeah, just put him in the train train station.
There you go.
And he's like, okay.
Now we're going to get arrested for a federal offense for posting bills or whatever you want
to call it.
I can't tell you how many people fucking say, I didn't do it though.
And I can't tell you how many.
I'm supposed to prove that homeless, what is his name?
Tommy.
Homeless Tommy put these stickers on.
Yeah, it sounds real plausible.
And I can't tell you how many people tell me, hey man, I've seen your stickers.
Yeah.
Because the whole, is this the guy that wears that bag head?
No, no, no.
That's a good idea though.
Get bag head to do it.
He rides it by everywhere.
I think he's gone though.
You ever heard of bag head kiki?
I love the names of these people.
Bag head would wear a Walgreens bag on his head.
Like a plastic bag.
Sometimes on his feet.
Yeah.
Well, it rained out.
But he would just be, it would be like 100 degrees out and he'd have a Walgreens bag,
like a durag tied on his head.
So he knows something that we don't care.
Oh, I mean, he's on something.
And then cold guys, he'd double up on bags.
Sometimes he had a whole bag suit.
Oh man, this guy's, yeah.
He was a real loose cannon.
Let me tell you, you don't want to get him in a dark alley.
He'd probably bike a, oh, he would ride around on like a fucking 10 speeder or some kind of
mountain bike around the neighborhood, just going like to the liquor store and just look
driving around looking crazy, looking at people, making eye contact with you.
Oh, I love it.
Yeah.
He was pretty wild.
And I haven't seen him in a couple of years now.
It's been a long time.
He probably got hit by a car on that fucking bike.
I think either that or he died of alcoholism.
He's very laid back.
Or whatever.
He was on some shit.
Yeah.
He was whacked out.
He was a grown ass man though.
Oh yeah.
I mean, like, it's crazy.
Molders and us and shit.
Yeah.
He was.
He would have been a good fucking guest on this show.
Well, I mean, all right, Peter Baghead, wherever you are, man.
You're seeing him riding around.
I'm going to offer him a little money and tell him we need to do some of the bad guys.
No, he's not coming down here.
Definitely not coming down here.
We'll do it now.
This is an outdoor cast all of a sudden.
We'll do it.
We'll give Rob.
Yeah, we can do a remote from his hovel.
I said we're going to wake up a hogtide getting, oh, Jesus.
We don't get into that kind of stuff.
Baghead man.
I don't tie in people.
No, he's a real, real skinny ass black.
He's Arab.
Is he Arab?
He's Arab.
Yeah, he's Arab.
I've seen him a couple of times on the train, if you know what I mean.
Oh yeah, yeah.
I think I saw a jewel in the bag.
Oh, no, he was wearing a turban.
Yeah, that turban.
That would be funny.
Walgreens bag wrapped up like a turban.
Oh, Jesus.
He's that new style, that new generation.
Yeah.
He had like this light green windbreaker.
He was really weird looking.
Like his clothes were like.
He wore a bag on his head, Larry.
And you're saying this guy was weird looking?
A Walgreens bag on his head.
This guy was really weird looking.
But even like without the bag, like when you looked at his face, he was a scary looking
looking.
He looked like Osama Bin Laden.
Can you say that, Larry?
A little bit.
Say it.
Osama Bin Laden.
Oh, you got it today.
No, that's good job, Larry.
Last two episodes, you can't say it.
Osama.
The funny thing is, is somehow or another we say it every single episode.
Yeah, he does get brought up almost every episode.
That's all right, though.
All right, P. Osama.
Ah, poor Osama.
I mean, they pushed that guy off the side of a boat.
Now, Kiki, when you said you saw the time on that computer screen, where was it?
I thought I was in the, see where you see that.
Microphone thing on the top right, but I don't think that is the time.
No, that's not the time at all.
There's got to be a way to get a time stamp on it.
I know my glasses on.
Oh, man.
I'm sure if you scroll through somewhere.
Yeah, this is great for the podcast, Larry.
I mean, there is a time on there.
You're right.
It's right in the bottom, bottom right.
My beer can was hiding it in the red.
Yes.
Next to the record.
How long to say 57 minutes.
Sorry.
Do your hit list.
You see a couple more minutes.
Do you know we know that?
I'll give you a little tidbit fact.
Oh, wait a minute.
We didn't do the.
We got things to do.
We got the.
Oh, well, you've got to be one hour.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Let's hear it.
So 16th Amendment of the Constitution.
Yes.
You guys know what it is?
No, I'd like to hear it.
That's when they.
So before before 1909, like, you know, 1900s, there were no taxes.
Uh huh.
Right.
So 16th Amendment, that's when they basically got everybody to believe that this is how
we're going to tax the rich.
Allow us to tax everybody.
And this is how we're going to tax the rich.
So Congress, they've voted.
Inacted 16th Amendment was legit.
It's good.
So now, you know, it's their way of getting taxes from everybody.
They lied saying there was going to be, you know, tax the rich.
Shortly after that's when the Fed was created.
Right.
And you can see the crazy plan that they had here.
Yeah.
And now the Fed was created and now the taxes.
Which is a private organization, of course.
Oh, yes.
It has nothing to do with the federal government.
The same people, I'm sure, that lobbied to get the 16th Amendment enacted in the Constitution.
And it's crazy.
It's very deceiving.
It is.
And it's, yeah, it's pretty sad.
It's like Federal Express.
You expect like a cop to come in and pick up the packages or something.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, no, that's not the government.
It's federal.
It's like, yeah.
The men in black come and get the fucking packages at the warehouse.
Yeah.
But yeah, it is.
It's scary, man, that's how they got taxes from us.
Yeah, that is fucked.
So I use this kid's license plate, Pat Terry.
Not his license plate, his actual license plate.
His ID.
This kid was the most fucking fucked up person I ever knew in my life.
He probably weighed about 85 pounds soaking wet, because all he ever did, he never ate.
I never saw him eat.
I lived with him for two and a half years and never ate once.
I would order a pizza and the motherfucker wouldn't even eat like a corner.
He drank.
He was a drinker.
And he drank at work.
He used to work at the music store.
I'm guessing he's not alive.
No, no, he's long died.
He was born 12, 28, 70.
I forgot when he died, but he only lived to be about, I don't know.
He'd be drinking.
He was a mean motherfucker.
And he was a tiny little guy.
He looks like a couple people we don't.
What do you call it?
Oh, how'd you get to that?
It's his marker.
Yeah, I'm saying, okay, I'm marking the page with Pat's ID.
I'm going to show it real quick.
No, don't do that.
What are you doing, man?
Somebody could steal that.
He's dead.
I know, but they could use it to vote.
I don't care.
All of a sudden he's a Biden voter.
Yeah, I was going to say, that's an extra vote for Biden.
That's all right.
No, not at all.
So now it's time for...
A Boston Cookie 500.
All right.
So this is the backstory.
Larry used to eat a lot of Chinese food.
He would collect all the fortunes out of the fortune cookies one day.
He took all of them and wrote them into this book.
So now he is, look at all the fortune pages from the fortune cookies.
So we read one episode.
Oh my God.
I had a whole stack of them.
Isn't he a psychopath?
He's a total psychopath.
I got all these fuckers in the garbage.
I didn't want to, like, I liked them.
So look at each copy of the book.
I liked them.
So look at each color.
They were your fortune.
But look at each color is a different fortune.
So the blue...
But here's the thing.
He's organized.
No, he's not.
He's just a weirdo.
Sometimes...
He's got some decent handwriting too.
Thank you.
Sometimes though...
I was like...
This was Mary.
Oh, I thought that was a fortune.
Other people there were out with us.
Yeah, okay.
We understand it was dinner all night.
Some of them were other people.
People ate.
Okay, Larry, we get the point.
I mean, Jesus, this guy...
Like, thorough all of a sudden.
Last week was...
You will be invited to a small...
Well, not last week, but you know...
You will be invited to a small gathering
with lots of spicy conversation.
And that is the first one that has made sense
since we've started reading them.
Insert Gong here.
Today's fortune, $3,500, is...
Indulge yourself, but with moderation.
That doesn't make sense.
That's an oxymoron.
No, that is good.
It's like everything in moderation.
Well, yes, I do understand that,
but indulge is kind of the wrong word
to start off with, wouldn't you think?
Because when I think of indulge,
I see piles and women.
Wow.
You know what I mean?
Well, that's how I like to indulge.
But this is a fortune cookie.
Yeah, I mean, it came from the fucking enemy.
Yeah, what do you expect?
It's from China.
I mean, he's eating Chinese food.
China to destroy itself.
This is how they manipulate round-eye.
Well, exactly.
It's another Psy-op.
Oh, this is how we get round-eye.
Yeah, oh, Larry is going to love this.
I don't think so.
Larry.
Oh, Larry.
I think they have fortune cookies in China, though.
That's an American thing.
I highly doubt they have fortune cookies,
because you know what, they're communists.
They really don't have...
They don't believe it.
Here's your fortune.
You're going to be staying at night.
Yeah, stupid Americans.
Yeah, they believe in fortune.
Don't be a round-eye.
Stupid.
That would be funny.
They actually had Chinese people.
That's what we should start off with.
Dude, there's like four guys sitting or smoking Ciggies dough
to the butts with the Ash...
They're playing my genre.
Right in his fortune, that's what they're doing to scale.
Just have no shoes on.
They're all hunched down.
And there are cracking whips on the people that are writing these out.
Listen here, buddy.
You got to do this.
That's all right, though.
The Chinese...
I mean, okay.
Wait a second.
Let's suppose it again, Larry.
Read it again.
Indulge yourself, but in moderation.
Okay, so I mean, that kind of makes sense,
unless you do cocaine or heroin or drugs or anything,
because heroin is the most indulgent company.
If you're doing heroin, you don't want to do it.
That was them talking about their food.
They want you to eat more Chinese food.
Well, it's got MSG in it, so it doesn't make you hungry.
Okay, so that's a good one.
I like that.
That was a good one, man.
It passed the Needles test.
Order three more leg rolls.
Yeah, that was on the other side.
Order more food.
Yeah, exactly.
And then it gives you...
Remember, they used to give you the lucky numbers?
These did.
These all had that shit on the bag.
You should have wrote the numbers down, too.
We could have played them every day.
Oh, come on.
So that's not...
I mean, you see what a psychopath he is?
That's too much rubber.
That's where I draw the line.
This fucking guy...
I love it.
I like words only.
Do you have against numbers, Larry?
Yeah.
Isn't that fucking cool?
It makes sense after a while, and you're just writing down 37, 5, 16...
Those are your lucky numbers, though.
Yeah, but you know what?
See, now you have to match up the lottery numbers.
You should have dates on numbers.
That's what I'm saying.
We play the numbers, yeah.
There's the thing, though, when I wrote it down, I did not know the dates because it
was a big pile.
You know, like two, three years of...
This guy's poor wife.
He's got a pile of fortunes.
How much bad luck is that?
It wasn't in...
Oh, this was a fortune cookie drawer.
So instead of putting clothes in there, he had fortunes.
That's a first.
This is a kind of glare, like a romantic fellow.
You can't put your underwear in there because my fortune drawer...
It's my fortune drawer.
Don't go in there.
Yeah, don't touch my fortunes.
Fucking psychopath.
Yeah, he's got them all, like, hoarding them around.
He's eating Chinese food, putting another one in his pile.
He's like...
He takes his drawer out of his face.
He's like, hey, what's this little guy like?
No, no, don't throw that out.
Don't worry about that.
Wait, is it a fortune?
She's like, no, it's just like a receipt.
Oh, okay, guys.
That'd be great.
She threw one out every day.
Her fortunes disappeared.
Well, now she's like, this is all...
Well, yeah, because you're a queer, worky, emo bastard, dude.
Who does that?
You're autistic.
That is the most autistic thing he does.
I mean, come on, Larry.
That's the first time I've ever heard of a fortune drawer.
It had a fortune journal.
Yeah, but you have to have a fortune journal.
Well, when I enter a couple of years of piling them up,
I didn't want to just throw them out and forget it.
How did it start with just one?
Probably not.
So, is this for howdy's winging?
Is this winging fortune?
No, I never went to winging, but...
Oh, that place was good.
Even though you probably get a road trip.
Jay worked there.
You don't want to know.
That's it.
It's still open, too.
That's the crazy thing.
Jay told me that he would make the salad in the sink
that they'd wash the dishes and shit like that.
Who's eating salad in a Chinese restaurant?
Well, you know, all the fucking chop shit,
they were going the eight rolls.
Those eight rolls are good, too.
Oh, great food.
And this is usually the best places that are very rat-compliant.
You see, like, eight red-friendly.
It really was.
They had an A, B, and C.
Like, yeah, their grade was an R.
It was just in Chinese.
You can use your tablet once.
But, yeah, dude, that place has been open for 40 years.
Yeah, it's still there, man.
I love that.
They have, like, their grade kids are running that place.
I love, you know, we can't feed the food to the enemy anymore.
And they always had underage white kids working there.
Oh, yeah.
Like, 12-year-olds.
They used them as slaves.
Which is very funny.
Yeah, right?
With Chinese slaving out the wind.
Otherwise, it's just the front, man.
Those motherfuckers are Chinese spies.
There's some fireworks out the back.
Yeah, there's some white men.
Fireworks in land gardens.
They're fucking actual spies.
They have to report back to China.
Every Chinaman that lives here.
That's the important one.
Well, dude, that's where they probably had cameras.
Like, we would make young white boy work.
Well, we're right back to the motherland, probably.
Look what we do.
I don't know.
If those guys are waiting...
We're controlling them here.
I don't know, man.
Those guys are waiting to get snapped, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, but I'll tell you what.
Their egg rolls were the best.
Oh, I got food poisoning there, man.
I had the pork.
Yeah, the pork, man.
Well, you know what?
You can't blame it on Winkie.
You ate there.
So it's kind of all on you.
I'm hoping it was pork, but yeah, man.
I was curled up like 36 hours.
Oh, jeez, man.
That's not good.
I forgot the place, man, but my friend Andrea was telling me.
She was going and picking up Chinese food at this place.
It was on...
Kind of where we take our Cromagaw classes,
K-Corner from there.
I forgot the name of the joint, but it's not even there anymore.
Yeah, I wonder why.
She's in there and they go,
Winkie's still here.
You and your dad are on the line.
And they don't hear us.
They don't hear us.
They don't hear her come in, you know?
And she's like, I'm telling you, I'm waiting and no one hears me come in.
And all of a sudden from the back room, she hears like...
Riiiih!
Ha ha ha ha!
That's coming crazy.
Oh my God.
They might have been for the rats, Larry.
I don't know, man.
And she's like...
Or it might have been for us.
I mean, who really...
She goes, I turn around and left.
I didn't do my food.
Ha ha ha!
If you were just a random cat noise in any restaurant,
wouldn't you be a little bit freaked out?
It sounds like they're killing the thing.
Yeah, then you hear some sizzling afterwards.
But people eat it.
It's meat, right?
Well, it's meat.
Yeah, it is.
I mean, it all depends on how hungry you are.
Dude, I used to go to this Korean sushi place.
It was somewhere in Arlington Heights.
After it was this one, you got the Rubbin' Tug.
No, it would have been a nice combo.
Yeah.
Get some good sushi and a tug.
But no, we asked the waitress because they had the best sushi.
We always saw a lot of Koreans there eating different things.
They were like, you guys cooked dog in the back there.
And she gave us a sign.
Come on!
This was in the States?
Yeah, this was like 25 years ago.
Yeah, cooking dog.
It seems like a huge process.
There's not a lot of meat on a dog.
They love their dog.
They do.
Well, I don't know about how much they like dog.
I think they're kind of fast.
I had dog in the cookout once.
We had dogs.
It was better than horse.
I had dog in the cookout once.
It was way better than that.
You had dog in the cookout once.
What kind of cookout?
It was better than horse.
It's better than dog.
It was way better than horse.
Where were you?
I was in the pencil.
Panama Canal?
I mean, the Wig Hing Christmas party or something.
What the hell?
The Wig Hing.
That's great.
Whenever you had dogs, don't you just shut up over there.
had dogs don't shut up over there and I was at Wisconsin what I'm called the car
was in Wisconsin and they told you I think they were fucking with you how
much I'll ask it where you want yeah okay that was a young kid even worse I
mean the story plot the plot thickens
that story to this place the grandpa gave you a worthless like wait a minute
you don't know where it was you just had a Wisconsin somewhere and fucking who
are you with my parents your parents a dog with you who kind of parents can
don't that behavior oh yeah the story gets better it was no shirt Nick was
there yeah yeah I like this guy I didn't buy the bath yeah my style the whole
time here it's like this like little weird restaurant which was just like a
shack it was behind it yard was a yard where we were the picnic benches were
and like the guys grilling and shit and cooking all these sandwiches of who
knows what you know it wasn't like man I don't like to hear that when I go to a
restaurant who knows what is being cooked yeah maybe because you would have been
like a teenager yeah it was more than that it was like 45 years ago man you
know that was like nine ten years old okay and I think your mind's going out
on you that's what happened in next door to this place I'm watching the drink
little yard where they made you sit were these fences that you couldn't see
through these tall like 15-foot high fences with spikes on the dog's
the whole time you're eating it like I was you eat it a candle yeah wait
were there other people like Larry back you're eating like what was going on
they I mean is this real are you sure you're not making this up
remember they were aged yeah what tough you ate dog and a roadside restaurant for
sure but it was delicious if it was man it was like you know it was how to help
you remember if something is longer than I know what's crazy I guess yeah dog
do you think if somebody was if somebody was like hey you pull over at this
random restaurant like we're serving dog which think your parents would be like
oh that's okay one time I mean and I take it by them like what the fuck is
this horse and the guys like yeah oh yeah well yeah yeah yeah well I actually
did a fire alarm job at a horse slaughterhouse I think was an Elgin area
or something like that great no I think they just lot of slaughtered them thanks
for not blowing your nose on the camera like you did last week you just go to
the side and make all the noises I mean this guy's really fucking professional
yeah but you could you're still on my cat video where they make no factory no I
think they actually ship the meat out of the country yeah that's because let me
tell you something after mad cow disease they didn't have any fucking cows or
anything in Europe so all the motherfuckers England everywhere are your
opponent you get swine you fucking shit in the horse man they got to eat something
well I mean think about bugs bugs is next yeah yeah India they won't eat cows and
mice yeah I remember working at Indian temple that's weird cows and mice well
yeah no that's the reincarnation thing but like they like I was working at one
of the temples and there was mice everywhere like and I asked him like you
know what's going on with that mine straps but they would put they would put
plates of rice in the rice and we're like oh no that's the way we believe in
yeah that's great nation and all this stuff and I go another health violation
whether like you guys want like I'm like I don't know shit all over the place yeah
that's doing food yeah come on that how the fuck does that get overlooked don't
worry they're ground they're bare feet that's why I don't trust Indian food
every culture is different there is some good in me I love curry I do I love
curry like you know good Thai curry oh good stuff yeah well we know you have a
proclivity for the I do the browns I do that's all right you want to do your
hit list yeah should I take my shirt off yeah
truffle shuffle
oh I'll be the first one in my shirt off in the pod cat yeah I guess you will then
you have to do it every time like yeah yeah okay oh boy I want to thank my
nephew Alex yeah shout out shorty yeah he's the one who got all this yeah he
showed us how to do all this and shout out to Kiki too man I want to thank you
that's the guy right here man thanks brother he's got us a higher quality
camera I wish you guys the best I hope you guys are six yeah we don't get arrested
for telling stories I don't say yeah I want to all of a sudden you guys and we
keep videotape needs for YouTube and it'd be like wait a minute after 20 episodes
women you're too moved up yeah 20 episodes ago all right no shirt Nick
man little Nikki the purse Jeff out there in Rockford stony Bobby no filter
Frank my dad of course Joe groucho oh fuck your puppet yeah thank God he's got
that stupid fucking puppet look at his blowing up yeah that's what I'd rather
do than do the podcast Chris out there in Florida oh get better brother Matthew
you're still there in Florida Florida yeah Florida
Ross down there and fucking the arid zone yeah Davey fucking zodiac mr. Axe
Mary shout out mr. Axe yeah Mary my wife love very nice
harmony my cat Helena another cat is mine that I love very much Sherry love
Jay what's up Jessica what's up Jay see Becky and Tiffany of course the only
fans girls keep sending those nudes to Larry and don't forget Tom's
veterinarian I remember that he fucking I forgot that he started as a
veterinarian I went back to my old show there's a mechanic first well that's
what started out of the mechanic he kind of he kind of worked his way through
veterinary school doing mechanic work that's great and then he came a doctor
get your old checked while you get your warts burned off yeah if you visit a
glory hole now your lips are red and small haha call Tom's free clinic free
free rotation
right lugs instead of drugs gold I can see the commercial night especially like
back in the 80s if it was only in the 80s yeah this guy's the best commercial
dude he's got like a huge beer got I want to thank everyone else for doing oh
yeah everyone out there yeah we love you guys man please like follow subscribe
leave a comment follow us where Larry it's sorry to look at everybody at Larry
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and needles you at show it yahoo dot com
yeah we're old yeah we want you to go
don't forget we got a myspace yeah Larry opening his cheeks like Spice
curls all right cool we all good kid yeah all right you want to do the outro
here we go peace love you guys like follow subscribe