Time to get ready for the Larry Needles Show.
Larry Needles Show.
Okay everybody, welcome to the Larry Needles Show.
I'm Larry.
I'm Needles.
Shalom.
Shalom, shalom.
How you doing?
I'm Salika Lama, my brother.
Michael Lecquahy, Michael Heine.
How you doing bro?
How's that throat feeling?
Oh man, does it sound that bad?
Yeah.
You want to talk about what happened in Krav Magal last night?
I was getting choked out by the...
By the numbers guy?
Yeah.
The numbers man had me by the fucking neck and you know...
He's telling me, first of all the same exercise I did to you.
What exercise?
Okay Larry, not so hard.
I'm like, okay, okay, I'll cool it.
And then with him, the very next thing, I was doing...
He was doing the same thing to me.
Like, holy shit, this guy's actually trying to strangle me to death.
I don't know about that.
He was grabbing very, very fucking hard.
Not as hard as you.
I think you're more rambunctious.
He's more methodical.
Right.
That's what makes me think he might already be a serial killer.
Oh no, I don't think...
I think he's infraining.
I think he's gonna plant out here, right?
Definitely.
So you want to talk about the pad?
So we have these pads that we put.
Wait a second though, let's not skip off Dave to...
His fucking legs must be...
I know, we keep on talking about this guy's socks.
I mean, I don't know, so obsessed with them.
It was my fucking mind man, I can't...
He has sock in prints.
After the first fucking week when you say,
hey man, I'm not wearing these fucking socks anymore.
Find something else?
Maybe he likes it.
Sort of eroticism to him.
It's painful.
Well there you go, maybe he's in the pain.
Did you just hit yourself in the nose with that?
No, I'm just...
No.
Oh, okay.
You're making sure...
Fucking crazy glue or something.
Yeah, I wish.
You ever do that? You ever huff glue in a bag?
No, but I remember when...
The rubber cement, I think is the other thing.
Peter fucking walked in and sprayed the shit
and it was the contact cleaner into his face
and it was laying on my kitchen table
and my cousin walked in and just sprayed the shit
into his own...
He inhaled it?
Yeah, and he thought it was like...
Component duster or something?
Right, right.
But it wasn't that.
It was some high tech shit for cleaning the innards
of some electronics with some real high toxic liquid
that came out.
There you go, just put it right to the lungs.
Just gonna run out your lungs.
The straw for the thing was actually metal screw on.
He saw the straw and that's probably what it was.
But it wasn't even that kind of straw.
That kind of straw though, it was screwed around.
We got the real deal, we don't need that BS.
So yeah, so we practiced at Crop McGaw with these pads.
They're probably what, three foot tall?
I don't know about three feet.
They're like, yeah, they're two feet by one foot.
Whatever, yeah.
Two by one.
So Larry likes to partake in copious amounts of marijuana
before our Crop McGaw class.
I mean, you smoke like a half a jib.
Hey, what's speaking about jibs?
You gonna like that thing up, bro?
Yeah, let's hear how you're gonna badmouth me first.
Oh, I'm gonna completely, actually it's not badmouthing.
I'm not gonna badmouth you.
I hope you've really enjoyed this because this is an amazing
stream of strength and agility.
Dude, I'm like a fucking ninja.
That's what I'm like.
Like, follow, subscribe.
We just started a YouTube channel.
We're getting a video element next week.
Ninja of asshole.
No, wait, well yeah, cause you're the asshole.
I'm a ninja of asshole.
You're the asshole.
So then Larry's just fucking meandering through the
middle of the club.
Oh, you're gonna tell us now.
We got these pads.
They probably weigh about, I don't know, five fucking pounds.
Yeah, maybe five, six pounds.
And it's real thick.
It's about, I don't know.
Six to eight inches thick.
Yeah.
And so he's going, Larry, Larry.
And I'm walking the other way across this fucking room,
the other direction.
And I'm so high.
It's, you know, I'm going towards the pads.
I don't realize he's even, and so fucking.
In the middle of class, he stopped.
Like, in the middle of everybody.
Yeah.
And like the third time, Larry, I finally realized,
oh, I turn around and he's already throws the fucking pad,
whips a line, drives, and hits me in the neck.
And I catch it.
Right, yeah, right in the fucking throat,
right in the neck as I turn around.
I'm a fucking ninja.
And then I want an asshole.
No, everybody was dying laughing.
I don't know if they were dying laughing.
Yeah, they were.
Yeah, I was dying laughing.
Dude, even the teacher was like, that was amazing.
Here's really what happened.
Everyone was like, whoa.
No, they weren't.
Yeah, they weren't.
Sonny said that was awesome.
Sure he did.
Yeah.
He's a fucking murderer.
Well, of course he likes that.
So I mean, I'm trying to make him believe.
All the other people in class were like, whoa.
Yeah, because you're all the weak bitches.
Jasmine and fucking Sam, all three of you are like, whoa.
Get on the train.
Let me start the oven.
Get out of here.
Weak motherfucker.
Anyways, so it was a great throw.
So it was pretty funny.
And I appreciate hitting me right in the throat.
And I caught it.
You didn't catch it at all.
It caught your throat first.
Yeah.
It wasn't even hard though.
It was perfect.
Just how you like it.
A little soft, a little mushy.
Yeah, look at it.
Somehow you already jacked your shit over the fucking minutes.
I don't know how I even touched it.
That's what she said.
Aw, man, this is what works.
I was going to say.
What were you going to say, Larry?
Nothing, man.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I thought.
That's all right.
Anyways, it was one pretty funny.
It was one pretty funny.
And we had some good times.
Like the one time when I was talking to Sonny,
needles came up and choked me from behind.
Oh, yeah.
I put him in a fucking mood.
You didn't put me in nothing.
Well, the fuck I didn't have to.
Because we can't really fight.
Well, I said, so he loves me.
He was talking to the teacher and I snuck up behind him and choked him.
Because the teacher was there, he let me kick his ass.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant.
Exactly.
You said it, I did it.
Yeah, that's why.
That's what happened, man.
I was right there.
But that's all right, though.
It's very funny.
The people will be able to weed through the bullshit.
They'll know the truth.
Yeah, well, they weren't there.
I was.
I saw you cower like a bitch.
When we do our live show, they'll see.
You see that?
You see how the lights flicker?
Because it knows you're up again.
Look at those.
You're lying.
No, no.
That's that.
Oh, what is it?
That's fucking.
I gotta keep my word now.
To what?
The lamp?
Oh, my God.
It's pretty crazy.
Fucking.
Must be getting nasty outside.
It'll fucking play games, man.
You don't know what you're dealing with.
Who doesn't know what they're dealing with?
I know exactly what I'm dealing with.
I fight twice a week and we fight.
Talking about the lamp.
I'm an electrician, so I don't know what's going on either.
Exactly.
What is that?
I don't know.
Okay.
So, man, I got two great stories today that I just, I love.
I hate doing the news and shit, but sometimes they're just so good.
Two great stories.
That they're just so good.
I mean, this is the headline.
Student petition requested glory holes in campus lecture hall along with free condoms and licking
cloths.
What country?
What's a licking cloth?
I don't know.
We're going to find out in a minute.
But what country do you think this came from?
So, students petition requested glory, student petition requested glory holes in campus lecture
hall along with free condoms and licking cloths.
First of all, they want this in a lecture hall.
Because the lectures are long and boring.
Well, it's kind of voyeuristic, don't you think?
Just a hole where you could, I mean, who's sitting on the other side?
Well, here's the thing though.
No one could really see what's going on.
It's called the glory hole.
I mean, that's the whole point of a glory hole.
So, it's not that voyeuristic.
It's just for the people doing it on the other side.
Oh, yeah.
Well, here's the thing though.
They're not, they're doing a job.
They're not voyeurs.
They're actually doing a service.
Man, how much weed have passed that joint over here?
You are done for a minute.
Man, I'm going to pull a red card on you smoking weed.
What the fuck are you talking about, man?
I'm talking about, so they wanted in a lecture hall.
Yeah, I get it.
So, on the other side, so inside the lecture hall, you've got to pull your dick out.
Yeah.
While people are getting lectured.
Yeah.
On the other side, there's a willing participant.
So, you're the guy who likes to be voyeuristic.
I always would imagine though, the person on the other side of the hole doing all the dirty work.
Kelgan away.
It's in a small box.
Take me away, Kelgan.
It's just in a small box.
Yeah, like yours, the refrigerator box.
The one you bring to Buterra every once in a while.
Exactly.
Short on weed money.
That's all right, man.
We all got to make a living.
All right, so, what country do you think this is from?
Oh, it's gotta be the United States.
I guess again.
Okay, Sweden.
I mean, what time is it over there?
It's in Germany.
Yeah, it's in Germany.
Holy shit.
So, these students asked the school to install glory holes in campus bathrooms for diversification purposes.
I mean, three glory holes are to be built in the lecture hall center opposite the entrance where the information boards are currently located.
I mean, this is fucking, I don't know, they want knee pads, condoms and knee pads.
That is fucking sweet.
And I'm licking wipes.
I think those are like baby wipes, maybe.
Yeah, like washing drys in the old days.
Fucking, you know, it's weird.
Wait, wait, wait, listen to this statement, the students argued that having spaces for anonymous sex would ensure the safety of queer students.
Can I get that thing or what, Larry?
Yeah, but what if you're not a queer student and you just want to blow job?
Oh, I mean, that's your prerogative, right?
Yeah.
Who might've judged?
I'm not listening.
I don't care what you do, especially in the bathroom.
I mean, that's where that shit's meant to be, right?
That's crazy.
A glory hole?
But yeah, here's the thing.
If you're going to be at a school, they're going to be, yes, they're definitely at a college.
Yeah, and just suck dick and shit behind the fucking glory hole at a lecture hall.
And you know what?
It's in the bathrooms.
I was just being, I was not in the actual, I was joking around.
Because, you know, which is amazing that you thought that it was.
Because some of those lectures get fucking boring, man.
So you got to get up and be like, hey, I'm going to the bathroom to get blown.
Yeah, well, that's different.
Imagine being on the other side of that glory hole.
Do you get paid for that?
Or you just got to wait until something comes through?
I would imagine it costs money.
You got to feed coins or something.
And do they make a different one?
So instead of, what's a chick glory hole called?
Because they can't muffle.
They can't mash their lips.
A glory hole.
A boring hole.
I don't know.
Well, that's some shit, man.
I know it is some shit.
I don't think a chick would want to be so filthy as to do something like that.
But you've never seen those videos, man?
I've seen some videos where they get real filthy.
Yeah, I know.
But I mean, to have someone anonymous just on the other side of a fucking hole.
Yeah, that's the exhilaration of it.
Well, I mean, it's just because it doesn't tickle you.
You think that's weird?
Yeah, sort of.
Yeah.
Especially at school.
You think that, come on.
I mean, think of all the nastiness out there, and that's what you think is weird.
Well, I know it's not weird for you.
It's not weird for a lot of people.
Yeah.
I mean, the internet throws that shit in your face.
Right?
Again, you know, you gotta look for it.
No, you don't have to look for it.
Do I look for videos about dead babies and shit in front of this Israeli conflict in Gaza?
No, it just pops up.
Does it?
Yeah.
Damn.
I'll just be sitting on motherfucking...
I'm glad I didn't look at that shit.
Yeah, you're just more interested in the scat porn.
I know how much you love the Germans.
And that's the thing, what I was gonna get back to, see, because when we would go to Germany and play,
and I would think, man, we're playing these shows, these girls are like 16 years old, is the age.
Man, I mean...
They're all revved up on porn, and they already watched fucking some nasty shit.
You're getting a murky waters already.
I know, I know.
The thing is...
Yeah, what's the thing, Larry?
Of course that...
How do you even take yourself out of this?
That would be...
That makes sense that Germany is the country they want, so glory holes.
Because they're watching porn on regular TV all the time.
Well, they're more desensitized to nudity.
I don't know, they're not watching porn, but I know you said that there was a porn channel.
No, they had porn, yes.
Hardcore weird shit going on.
I'm sure there's a way to block that, and I'm sure that the country from the Eastern Bloc...
Dude, it's like Channel 9 WGN.
I don't know about that.
It's a lot different than Channel 9.
Big fucking channel, though.
It's a lot different than watching the Cubbies play on a Sunday.
It's hard to block.
I mean, imagine that, though.
You're just sitting there and you're like, ah, porn.
I mean, you just be wrecking your meat all the time, right?
Well, that was the thing.
The first time we saw TV and Franzi's flipping through...
You're like, whoa!
And everyone...
No, all the whole band is like, wait, wait, hold on, wait.
And she's like, oh, yeah, of course.
You Americans, so fucking tight assed on your sex.
And so then we watched a few minutes of the girl was...
You could explain the porno, really?
Yeah.
And then she puked in this guy's face.
Oh, man, Larry, this is on TV.
They ate it.
Yeah.
Come on.
They had Choking Puked fucking porn on TV.
Come on, really?
Regular TV.
And this is before we went out.
What year is this?
2004, 2005, 2006.
All the way up to like 2000.
That's appalling.
It really is.
It's called...
It was 2000.
I don't understand.
Listen, I don't...
It was unbelievable to me.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Couldn't fathom it in your little fucking American brain.
And the other person there was like, oh, yeah, now that they're going to do this and that.
And I'm like, I didn't know this.
No, and he's like, no, this is a certain kind of porn.
It was like a certain genre.
Oh, you think?
Choking Puked?
I mean, it's definitely...
It was really, really sick.
I mean, that ain't no...
It was horrible.
That ain't no meat and potato stuff.
And I was like, oh man, that's bad.
So then I wasn't so ready to watch that shit.
As usual, the internet has given an uprising to these miscreants and freaks and abnormalities of humans.
But this is like I'm seeing.
This is like their...
I know TV, literally, yeah, it's on their cable channel.
We've already covered NBC.
NBC.
I don't know about that.
Um...
Big fucking channels and shit.
Hard to block.
Little kids watch it all day.
That's the part that freaks me out.
I mean, why did you just have to say that last statement?
Because here's the thing.
These parents don't seem to give a fuck and they don't block it.
And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?
Yeah, because they're so desensitized.
They just don't...
It's not, you know what I mean?
They probably just do it when they can't already.
That's the thing.
I think those are the types of people that sort of time to fuck.
Is it better to be desensitized?
Yeah.
To have a schedule now?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I get off at work at four.
And Tuesday, time to fuck.
I get off at work at four, I shower, I'm done by 5.30, I'll be over there by six, we'll do some nasty stuff.
That's how I think that they have sex, when you're that desensitized to it.
That you have to have a schedule for it.
I don't know about that.
But look at Amsterdam.
You can just walk on the street and get laid whenever you want.
Which, how many school shootings do they have in Amsterdam?
None.
I mean, when has prostitution ever been a bad thing?
Wow.
It made the wild west.
Yeah, but it's not great for the women that get sucked up into it and can't get out of it.
I wish I could remember what the war it was, but I think one side was banging prostitutes
and they were getting all these, all VD.
And the other side was restricted from having sex with prostitutes.
And guess who won?
The guys with VD.
No.
Oh.
I mean, imagine what VD was.
I wish I could remember what that was.
Ghana Ria?
Not the revela- oh shit.
Everything.
Back then.
Oh yeah.
You get wild west crabs.
Wild trap.
Oh my god.
You have to set a trap for these crabs.
Or you just shoot them off.
That's the only way to get rid of them.
That's how fucking Kit Carson got started.
I mean, this is twice in what five episodes you've mentioned Kit Carson.
People don't even know who that motherfucker is.
Oh, and you know what?
If you want to take a look at Larry's stupid puppet groucho, go on Twitter.
Larry and Needle show.
It's not stupid by the way.
He's pretty fucking smart.
Larry and Needle show, one word and you'll see a picture of groucho at Thanksgiving dinner.
It's very silly.
Yeah.
And if you want to fucking imagine what Needles looks like, just imagine one word, doofus.
Ha ha ha.
He's cracking themselves up now, huh?
Oh really?
I guess I see what happens.
You had a quarter of a beer.
You get blacked out drunk.
I don't get blacked out drunk.
You're funny.
I mean, you are just a sandwich by means.
Larry, I'm going to come over and choke the fuck out of you in a minute.
What are you going to do?
Hit the joint more hippy?
Look at the rainbow, it's really cool over here.
Well, I got you in a fucking armbar, knees right to your fucking throat.
What are you going to do?
What are you going to do when they come for you bad boy, bad boy?
And then I'll put you in the seatbelt and I'll fucking, I was watching cops.
Yeah.
This will be a, oh nice.
You've been taking notes like cops?
Yeah.
I think we should have a little cop segment.
Yeah.
Cop, wait a second, wait a second.
Cops, corner, consistency.
Yeah.
Needle's and Larry's chat about cops.
Okay.
That was a great one, man.
Actually, it was so funny.
Wait a second, wait a second.
You have to set the scene first before you get into it.
I will, I will.
Okay.
I want a theatrical performance for you.
Okay.
I can maybe do that.
Okay.
And Mary watched it with me too because I was like, Mary, okay.
We should break the lines down from each other so I can read, you can be the cop and
I'll be the, the perp.
Wow.
And then we could switch every week.
That's, yeah.
Well, that's a lot of work.
Not at all.
We do have AI do it, but okay.
I'm sorry to interrupt you.
I was brainstorming that out.
That's true.
I guess we could fucking in it.
But anyways, the cops show up to a fucking domestic violence, fucking domestic.
A fresh El Camino role in Kilo G.
But here's the thing though, the people that were in the domestic situation did not call
the cops.
The neighbors.
Yes.
It was neighbors.
They were not really even fighting with each other.
These were just two fucking freaks that were such freaks.
And the one guy, man, you're not setting the scenario very well.
One guy was having a nervous breakdown.
How do you know?
Well, is that what he said?
Yeah.
Here's what happened.
So the guy answers the door.
Okay.
Here we go.
This is what we want Larry.
The cop show up.
Finally.
The guy answers the door and this guy, the dude that answers the door, the cop knocks
on the door, dude answers the door.
This is going to take longer than a cop episode.
Yeah, listen, shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
And he's got a yellow shirt on with.
Upside down pineapple.
With fucking orange letters ironed on.
Let's say.
Cabin letters, honey.
With a fucking boo job.
It was a man.
Yes.
This is a man.
A man with a shave.
Well, how do you know?
A stubble.
Not a beard, but just stubble.
You had a five o'clock shadow.
Yeah, five o'clock shadow.
How do you know that?
A fucking shiner.
A fucking big shiner.
Man, you shouldn't talk about it like that.
So the cop fucking says, uh-huh.
Well, how'd you get this black eye?
And he's like.
I walked into the cabinet.
Well, no, he's like, well, someone didn't like me.
Did the person who's in the house do this to you?
And he's like, no.
And he's real calm as fuck.
Smoking cigarettes.
He's got a cigarette.
Yeah.
He's got a short shirt.
This is what you need to do, Larry.
And it's fucking orange and yellow shirt.
Yellow shirt.
Honey.
Yes.
How big were them tatis?
Ah, they were like fucking sea cup.
Yeah.
And, um.
Would you bang them?
No.
Okay.
Dude.
All right.
Proceed.
Oh, so okay.
Counselor, proceed.
And the cops are.
Give me the correct way to be mobile.
They want to separate these two guys.
Now the other guy in the house who is just a friend, but a very casual friend, who this
guy barely fucking knows.
Is that how he described them?
Well, no, they said, how long have you known each other?
The guy's like.
One hour.
One day.
And then the other one said two days.
So who knows?
One of them's on math time warp.
And you know what I mean?
No, they're just Friday Hooker.
And then he's turning tricks and that guy was there, John.
Exactly.
And so this guy.
Uh-huh.
Which guy?
The guy with the tits?
The second guy.
Oh, the dude that was in the thing.
In the trailer.
In the house.
No house.
Okay.
House.
Very nice.
Where was this at again?
This is in.
Dude, you're not going to get past me if you're doing cop shit, man.
I mean.
This is in.
This is my favorite segment.
Esk- uh.
Refcundito?
Esk- no.
Esk- Esk- Escensia- Esk-c-a- which H
talk to the other cop, they have them separated to make sure they're really not fighting
and killing each other.
Did Honey have any marks on him?
Or her?
Besides the huge black eye, no.
Oh yeah.
Forgot.
He had the shinner.
Honey probably forgot to eat dinner.
thing. He did have other marks. I don't even know where I got those. He's selling the
cops. Yeah, I know. I fell on a needle here. I fell on a needle there. Exactly. And so
the other guy's like, I was real worried. The guy inside. Oh, he was a feminine. Oh
my God, dude, again, look like. So, honey was the, honey was the, the stud of honey.
No, but two guys identified as a chick. And so he's like, I was real worried about Kristin.
He's calling honey, let's just keep her. I was real worried about honey, honey, because
he, she was going to pull all her piercings out. Yeah. Piercings where? All over her face.
Oh, you, man, you, man, you can't tell a good story. Yeah, I can. Forever. Dude, no,
it ain't. And now you know the fucking guy at piercings. Yeah. So you know what? Pay
attention. Gangster disciples. You need to tell me about a picture. You're going to
fucking wreck the whole thing. Oh, what am I? I'm going to choke you out. You're fucking
asshole. Anyways. Yes. So she's like, I didn't want him to pull out all the piercings. And
so I was worried about him. And so he's like, not, you know, and they're, they find out
they're fine with each other. They're probably on drugs. Okay. And they find out. It was
invisible like jittering and juke and and jiving, you know what I mean? No, no, none
of that. And so the cops are, are walking on. This is the main part of the story. Cops
have got to be loving this, but they're walking on eggshells because you know, it's a brand
new episode in this new woke world. Do you think so? They don't know. So now they're
going, do you think this is the first time they've been called the honey's house? I don't
know. I would assume no. Probably not. Okay. So anyways, now they're on camera doing it.
They're on eggshells too, because they don't want to get fucking, you know, called out
or canceled. And so they're like, are you a female or a man or what do you like to be
like? Yeah, yeah. They're like trying to say it without, and she's like, it's like a guy
inside. This fucking guy could probably beat their ass. And the guy, the honey's friend
is like, honey's friend. My name is Christine. And he's like, okay, Christine. And then in
your, he's like, and I'm a female. Well, thanks for telling us. I'm a trans. And he goes,
I'm trans. Okay, that's all right. And he goes, it's so Christine. And he goes, well,
I get arrested when I get arrested. It's Paul. I get arrested. Wait a minute. Well, man,
this is now, you know, because it's got to be the Christian name.
So when they, that's some fancy weird name. It's fucking Hooker told them, but when I
get arrested, I'm a dude. Yeah, my real gender. And then the guy outside with the honey's
shirt. You know, my cop is also stepping on it.
You know, my kid does, he pretends he's Superman.
All right. Don't let them fly out a window. No, I'm just saying, these guys are pretending,
you know what I mean? Like anybody can play pretend. Yeah. But anyway, when it comes down
to brass tacks, honey is they're asking him, Chrissy, his name is Chrissy. And his real
name is like Chris and Christopher, you know, and they're asking him, do you want to be
referred to? That's a physical way to make your name. You could come up with anything.
I know. Some of these fuckers are lazy. Okay. Proceed.
He went through the, you know, maybe I'm saying, maybe I got the male right name wrong. I don't
know, but this is very enthralling. So keep going.
So anyways, the cops are saying to him now, do you, do you, and he's like, dude, I don't,
I don't fucking care. Who's this?
Honey. Okay. He's like, I don't care if you want to call me.
So the cop is talking to honey. Very, just the same way as the other one.
Well, Chris is in the background getting interrogated.
Christine is in the other room. Chris, I call Chris.
And no, that's Paul. Christine is Paul.
Man, how many people are in this trailer?
Two people.
It's a house.
I mean, thank, there's only two genders and there's four people in there. I know, but
that was a good joke, actually.
Anyways, so finally, oh, finally, they figure out their genders.
No, they finally say to the guy, well, are you, what do you want to be called? And the
guy's like, dude, I don't care.
And as long as it's not going to jail, that's why I don't want to be called.
Man, woman, her, him. He's like, I don't, it doesn't fucking bother me at all.
Okay.
He was like, he was ready for them to leave and he can get high some more and shit. That's
the vibe I got from that guy.
Okay. And where did it end?
And it ended with neither one of them getting arrested.
So they let him back into the house?
They let him back together.
Yes. They weren't fighting.
Maybe they were.
The dude got his ass kicked earlier in the day by someone else.
Come on. How do you know that?
Because that's what he said.
That's what it seemed like.
That's what he said.
Well, it didn't seem like that. It didn't seem like Christine was going to.
That Chris was going to, okay, so wait a second.
Let's do the punch honey.
Honey and Chris. So Chris didn't punch honey, you think.
I think Chris.
Christine is Christine.
Is Paul.
Yes.
What the fuck?
And Chris, Chrissy is honey.
Chrissy is honey.
And Paul, Paul's the other person in the house.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's Christine.
What?
You fucking came to me.
You just said honey was Christine.
That's Chrissy.
So there's Chrissy and Christine.
He just said honey on his t-shirt.
I know what I prefer to call honey.
Okay.
Because the other, okay, so the fanook gets punched by the other fanook and nobody got
arrested.
Yeah, but it did.
I think that's what happened.
Okay.
The fanook got punched by the other fanook in the house and they didn't want to fucking
say anything about it.
I mean, did it look like a fresh China?
It could have been.
It could have been from earlier in the game.
Puffy fucking.
No, no, no.
No tears coming down.
No, no, no.
It was definitely fucking.
It was from earlier.
It aged.
Yeah.
It wasn't like a nice bottle of whiskey.
You didn't just get smashed in the face that minute.
No, not at all.
And here's the other thing too.
What's that?
They were called as a fucking cucumber.
It was other people.
I'm thinking they were probably fucking each other and made a lot of noise.
I mean, they were in a house and people heard it.
Was it a town home or in a house?
Yes, with a joining wall.
Oh, okay.
So then there you go.
Yeah.
And that's all.
And that's what I'm thinking.
You're thinking what?
The cops come and this guy just happens to be a weirdo with a boob job and he's got a
black guy and he's got some prostitutes to pick up.
You know what I mean?
No man, no heaters.
Yes.
Dude, man.
Yeah, I don't understand that, but this is crazy that they just let them.
I mean, imagine you and, okay, you're just hanging out with your chick and you're having
fun, but it's two dudes.
You know what I mean?
So maybe that was a thing that incited it.
You know, I guess when they get into fight, it could be a lot more brutal.
Well, it sounds like these boys were both sissies.
Yeah, it was weird.
But the one dude with the honey shirt and the boob job, he looked like he could have been,
if he didn't have those tits, other than that, he could have been the singer in some punk
band like living in a van.
He was like Kurt Cobain's little brother or something.
I mean, I don't even know how to process that.
Yeah.
So, messy, blonde hair.
And with tits.
Yeah, with tits.
But every other thing about him is a dude.
Yeah, his hands.
Especially that.
His feet.
His beard.
Yeah, you can't get past the hands.
Yeah.
I mean, once they start doing finger shortening, then you can maybe get past it.
You just want a joint.
I don't think so.
I think you may get longer to look like a woman's hands, right?
No, dudes have fucking big, long hands.
Yeah, but here's the thing.
I mean, you see big bikes.
If you want to look skinnier, though, you got to make them look longer.
That's some Luciferian shit.
Otherwise, they have fucking big fat fucking fingers.
Knuckles and shit?
Yeah, anyways.
Air on your knuckles?
How about the other thing?
Anyways, what?
When the cops were outside.
Oh, yeah, we're still on cops.
When they were outside after the perps were let go, you know.
They weren't perps, technically.
No, really, no, they weren't perps.
Somebody called the cops on these fine, upstanding citizens.
When they were calm as fuck when they answered the door, they had no idea the cops were
coming, you know.
Yeah, not only were they fighting.
It was only a fight that was going on.
So I could see.
It is just funny that the guy had a, the honey had a black eye before the cop ended up.
And then you got to explain that.
That's one more thing you explain.
This is the life of a fucking nut.
A tranny prostitute.
Yeah.
I mean, that's what it sounds like.
Of course you got a black eye.
Well.
You need some fucking makeup for that.
When dinner's, dinner's supposed to be ready.
Bitch.
It's supposed to be ready.
But even outside when the, when the perps were away from the cops, they still had to
walk on eggshells because they knew that the cameras were going.
I don't like that term walking on eggshells.
Okay.
They had a fucking, you know, side step.
Not say what really, what really in their mind.
Yes.
So they couldn't speak their true minds.
So free speech was technically withheld from them.
Yeah.
By their own.
I mean, if you're going to be the prosecutor, you're going to be the judge.
By their own withholding.
Mm-hmm.
Well, you know, because it's scary to be fucking canceled.
No, it's not.
Well, I would love it.
If you have a TV show and shit, it is.
No, it's not at all.
He's a cop.
How many cops have been canceled?
Yeah, but these dummies are on TV.
They don't want to fucking have the cops get their, oh.
You know what the problem is.
You know, they can have their little police station.
They fucking pussyfoot around shit.
And you know what?
Guess what?
Cops get killed.
And there's a problem because cops should not be killed.
Right?
Yeah.
Who fuck wants that job?
Do you want to be a cop?
Hell no.
I don't want to be a cop.
No, that's fucking dangerous as shit, man.
That's fucking some noble shit.
It's fucking dangerous.
Do you want to protect shit?
Okay, go for it, man.
When I was a kid, I could say this because, well, yeah, I could say this.
Oh, man, you gotta get a man up, man.
My dad's friend was a Chicago cop.
Allegedly.
And, you know, he would come over and hang out with my dad.
And he would be walking the beat or driving around in his car.
He'd come over to our house and hide out and hang out with my dad and my mind, whoever
else was there.
And I was a little kid.
And he would empty out the fucking bullets out of his gun.
He'd clean his gun.
And let me play with it.
Here you go.
Okay.
And it was fun, man.
And it was just wild, you know.
Yeah, but you didn't shoot anybody.
No, man.
You didn't take a liking to guns and all of a sudden start doing this.
I don't know.
But it was just crazy.
We all know guns are centralized in one area in Chicago or a couple areas.
I mean, there's...
It's not that hard to figure out where everything's at, right?
Yeah.
But I love it that people are standing up in Chicago for the rights and telling them
not to put fucking migrants here.
That's what I love.
I love to see that.
Yeah, but it's still gonna happen because they gotta move in their UN somewhere.
Well, they gotta move them somewhere.
I mean, the lucrative contracts that these people are signing from the government, the
amount of money that these people are making to do nothing.
And you know what?
I'm gonna say...
Well, they're gonna be doing something though when they fucking kick everybody's ass and
kill us all.
Well, I was reading...
I was listening to something also today about...
Remember when we were talking, I was like, men coming in and all the shit's like, where
are the children going?
They're getting trafficked and fucking sold off.
That's why they're bringing the migrants in, I think, is the...
Yeah.
Distracted.
So what's really going on?
The women and children don't even make it.
The hot-looking women get fucking taken and fucking...
Yes, we all know, Larry, you don't have to finish that sentence.
And the kids don't make it.
Okay, don't finish that sentence either.
They get sold off.
Also, a lot of them get taken just for their fucking organs, man.
All right.
Well, you didn't have to say something like that.
People will realize that.
But that's all right.
They do.
I don't know much yet.
It's farcical.
And I saw...
Well, I don't know much if it's the truth.
I saw some...
I mean, I said, I was listening to something today and there's children coming in and they're
unaccounted for it and nobody can do that.
And it's horrible.
And then they get up.
It's like, the most defenseless people they take advantage of.
Yeah.
Well, that's the way they do it, man.
Why wouldn't you take advantage of the most defenseless people?
Well, you distract people.
That's what an evil motherfucker does, man.
It takes advantage of the most defenseless person.
That's why they're fucking sick.
Mom, I mean...
That's why they're evil.
Mm-hmm.
They're fucking...
Terrible motherfuckers.
Evil is doing better than good, I think, right now.
Well, it's more prevalent.
Yes, it is.
It's never doing better than good.
I mean, we have two wars going on at once.
Hey, just keep giving your money away, the American way.
In those wars, how would they be making money right now?
Well, that's the problem.
That's the whole fucking bag.
The military industrial complex just moves us.
I will say, though, if they implement a draft...
Because we know this war is going to go on forever.
Yeah.
So if they implement a draft, they will have to try my child for my cold hands while I'm
holding a pistol.
Well, you think that...
What's that?
There's no way out of it, man.
There's no way around it.
There's always a way out of it.
Money.
So nobody wants...
Well, that's the American thing.
They want money, power, and land.
You don't have enough money.
You don't have any money or power.
You don't have enough money or power.
Religious fanatics you really can't negotiate with, though.
That's the problem.
We've got to gain about 75 million listeners for you to have...
Like we said before, religion has killed more people than anything.
Religion?
Yeah.
Well, what would this have to do with religion?
What do you mean?
When the Ottoman Empire was destroyed in World War I, they split up and they gave land to
the Jews, the Palestinians really didn't agree with that.
Nobody else agreed with that.
And now, because of...
I mean...
It sounds egregious.
It's not egregious.
What do you mean?
Everything's a holy war.
Anyways, what does that mean?
I mean, what about Mount Solomon's Temple?
And you know what I mean?
Everything's written in the Bible.
Everybody wants to correspond and correlate all these things.
Oh, yeah.
Because...
Strings are not...
We don't need a lot of cloth to connect with strings.
Everyone wants us to be the end of the world, man.
Everyone's sick of this bullshit.
Who says that?
That's what happens when everybody thinks everything's so bad.
The war machine wants to fund the war.
That's the most profitable thing.
And the most profitable war out there would be World War III, baby.
Think about it.
We have...
Nothing would make more money than World War III.
Well, it's going to be like a human missile crisis.
That's what's going to happen.
It's going to boil down to the last minute and something's going to be averted and we're
all going to pretend like nothing happened.
I don't think so.
We mean you don't think so.
Yeah, I don't think it's going to be like the Cuban Missile Crisis.
How so?
Biden will fuck this shit up or whoever is controlling...
It's William Biden.
Yeah, I know.
Whoever's controlling the fucking shit already has their mind made up.
Anyway, it's all ran by the same fucking place anyway.
We have what?
350 million?
It's real, USA.
It's all the same.
350 million people?
Yeah, you know...
So think about these other countries, billions of people, billions...
China easily...
If the war came to us and China invaded our territory, I'd be out there fighting.
Wouldn't you?
You'd have to be.
Well, I mean, if they armed me and we'd get a tank, that'd be awesome.
Well, I don't know.
Why not?
I would ride around in a tank.
But we got shoot people though too.
I'd rather be in some kind of aircraft.
No, it's easily shot down.
Who knows?
You know what?
I'm just saying, this is all fictitious.
I'm just some fucking slick maneuvering.
But I love America.
You're an American, right?
You love this country?
I love this country.
I just rather walk around the foot.
I'm afraid that these people are going to be like, hey, let's suck all these children
into a war that's never going to end.
Well, yeah, that's the whole idea.
That's the whole idea.
Oh, that's how you keep it going.
That's what happened with this last one that went for 20 years.
And the one before that that they had going on.
Afghanistan.
We talk about it.
I remember when we talked about Marty and Aldo a lot.
You know, Aldo, the naked bed sleeper guy and the nice people in the house.
Anyways, Marty was like, ah, Larry, they're going to have the draft and you're right
at that age.
You know, I was working at some bum's job and Marty was my boss.
And he's like, they got no use for you, man.
You're the first one.
You'll be fucking right on the front line.
You need to be scaring me.
And I'd be like, dude, what are you talking about?
He said, didn't you hear, man, we're going to war, you know, because I never knew what
was going on back then.
Well, you didn't pay attention.
Now you pay attention, which is even scarier.
I'd rather not pay attention.
But he scared the shit out of me back then and said, we're going to have the draft because
no one's going to the army.
But we had a lot of people going at that time, I guess.
Yeah.
And then they got to build the reserves.
And there was prior to 9-11, way before that.
Well, I mean.
What was the reason we went there to Desert Storm?
Or what was it?
Was it called Desert Storm?
Iraq.
Yeah, Iraq was Desert Storm.
What was the reason we went there?
Saddam Hussein.
Weapons of mass destruction.
Was that because of 9-11?
Yes.
Okay.
What was the one before that?
What was the war before that?
Afghanistan.
You know, because I think it was.
Because I'm trying to think about when I would be in age, rack it to fucking be drafted
up and when I was like 12.
Well, this is before 2001, right?
I'm talking like 80s or 90s, dude.
Ah, man.
I don't know.
Okay.
I don't think there was anything.
There was a Cold War shit.
No, we had shit going on.
There was always shit going on.
We were bombing the fuck out of someone.
We're always bombing the fuck out of someone.
And we were going to war.
I mean, we're funding our enemies all the time.
It was the one where we did it in short fucking...
Man, you are just way too stoned to be...
Yeah, we mean anyways.
Great story, Larry.
We did it in quick, we made quick work of these motherfuckers.
Yeah, like we always do.
But no, no.
And then we leave our quits.
We were there for 20 fucking years.
Where?
In Afghanistan.
Yeah, but that wasn't, I mean...
What the fuck?
What the fuck was that?
I mean, I know people weren't getting killed all the time the whole time, but we still
had to go there and be babysitter or else they'll fucking...
Yeah, as soon as we left, what happened?
Tell them.
They went right back to the ways.
Yeah, we left all that equipment to them.
Which is basically giving yourself a life sentence.
Why would you go over there to someone else's land and think that you're going to fucking
change the way that they would?
Give them democracy.
Yeah.
They don't want it.
We don't even have a democracy here.
We're not even implemented on countries that are goat herders and...
Well, that's how they want it to think about them actually.
The people might want it.
The people want the democracy, but the guys in charge definitely don't want democracy
because they're in charge.
Yeah.
Because they're in their ways.
And that's the same thing that's going on here right fucking now.
How so?
Well, they're killing democracy and taking it away from us because these assholes in charge
fucking love it and they don't want us to be able to make any decisions.
They want to fucking tell us what we should do.
They don't want us to tell them.
No, they're already telling us what to do.
Right.
And that's fucking bullshit.
They don't want us to be working.
It's a dictatorship.
It's not working.
Yeah.
This is not good.
Well, no, it is working.
What do you mean it's not working?
Well, and then they should just say that...
Completely working.
The government pits us against each other.
You know what?
I was watching this thing about the ADL, the Anti-Defamation League.
Uh-huh.
Woof.
Man.
They really don't like white people.
No, they hate them.
It's crazy how these people, they were saying, what the hell, we were just looking up.
They hate them.
Pale...
Shoot, I forgot.
Pale face.
No, no.
It wasn't pale face.
It was like male, pale and stale.
That's what it is.
Male, pale and stale, they keep on saying.
But if they know what that means, right?
It's like a crazy pale face.
Yes.
If I went up on a stage and I was like male, black and stale, man, I'd be canceled in a
minute.
They'd be like, you are a racist.
Which is bad, right?
Yeah.
It's very racist saying pale, stale, male.
But it's white.
I don't understand why there's no...
Who cares?
That's their problem.
The people being racist, it's on them.
That's the thing.
They don't even...
They think they're not being racist.
They think they're helping things by fucking getting down on some other people instead
of blacks or something.
But here's the thing.
What's that?
You're still being racist.
Yeah.
It's so fucking dumb, but they don't even see it.
So that just proves how dumb they are.
When did it become so white even bother?
When did America lose its love for America?
That's the thing.
Can I hit that?
You're just going to smoke a party for it.
Sometime at their Archie Bunker show, God damn it.
Is that your timeline begin?
When the family, when that guy got out, you're taking up the air.
Man, I got to take a piss.
We got to pause it.
Man, you're some kind of fucking sissy.
Just pause it right now.
Pause it.
We'll edit it in.
Well, I can't.
I can't pause it.
It's way over there.
The keyboard.
Here, hit the spacebar.
Such a smooth edit.
You can't even tell.
Well, they just have...
No.
We did that.
Thanks.
Okay.
Thanks to needles, small bladder, like a little girl.
All right.
Yeah.
So, they just think that they can get away with whatever.
I mean, it's crazy that nobody holds these people accountable.
Well, I know an accountant or a numbers man or two.
I said accountable, not accountant.
I thought they needed an accountant.
No.
Okay.
This is something...
What's something?
You'll like this.
Where's that joint go?
Did you smoke it all?
Oh, boy, oh boy.
You smoked the whole thing?
Where is it?
Okay, keep going.
Really?
Where did you think?
Okay.
Here we are back to the Larry and Needle's Fortune Cookie 500.
Fortune Cookie are 500.
And this is like a really woke one.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It's like silence is violence and shit like that.
That's it?
On college campuses today.
This is when I just pre-read this one.
I gave it a little fucking quick glance over.
That's what phrase popped in my head.
Okay, well, let's hear it.
It's kind of dumb.
Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
Okay.
So, you know...
That's a little prophetic.
Yeah, I guess if you know you had something wrong.
Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't get it sometimes.
Something deadlier form.
I mean, who knows who the fuck are writing these things?
I mean, this is all propaganda again from our enemy.
Yeah.
I mean, where do we usually get these cookies from Larry?
Chinese restaurants?
Yeah.
Who's our number one enemy?
Yeah.
Besides Russia?
Yeah.
China is more than Russia.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah, I mean, come on.
China is our number one fucking...
This is all propaganda.
That's what...
You know what?
That's why I told my wife you could fucking kiss that shit goodbye.
Kiss what?
Chinese food?
Yeah, we don't...
What are the enemy in this house?
No, she's not allowed to have it.
Sushi?
Gone?
Done.
Done with that.
Plus...
I mean, probably have to do everything.
You don't need...
The French obviously because they're cheese eating surrender monkeys.
Yeah.
We can always eat their food.
Just take it.
But you don't want to get parasites from that Chinese food and shit.
How do you get parasites?
Well, allegedly.
I don't want to fucking have it.
I know, man.
I know.
I don't want to have the Chinese food industry come down on us.
That would be hilarious.
Hopefully the karate chop your ass into oblivion.
End up in one of the fortune cookies.
Yeah, that'd be great.
How about this week?
No, no, just one, though.
That's all we're reading.
I got another story.
It's so next...
We got to get it gone.
Read it again one more time.
We got to get it gone.
Where's the long ad?
I know.
Is it out there?
We don't have one.
Dave hasn't gone.
Okay, so wait a second.
Delay is a delias form of denial.
That must be a river.
So I guess if you delay, you'll die.
Wait.
Leggling breaks down.
You're delaying and denying.
Fortune cookies.
You're delaying and denying.
This is a fucked up fortune cookie.
All of them are.
We haven't gotten it.
It's one of these ones where you have to drink a half a bottle of fucking sake.
That's Japanese.
That's sake.
Oh, okay.
What do they drink in China?
Oh, baby's blood.
Okay.
They drink like 10 shots of baby's blood before this starts making a man.
Maybe snake blood too.
Snake hum.
Snake oil.
That's to the sauce.
Anyways.
That Terry would have liked that.
Yeah, I mean, well, he was into oblivion, so it doesn't really matter.
He couldn't hear the fortune cookie.
He was able to read it.
This one, okay.
This is definitely the story of the month.
I'm very happy.
Story of the month.
From the telegraph.
Woo.
The bishop resigns over gay orgy scandal.
Nice.
All right.
So that's your kind of scandal.
The pope, the pope, Larry, has accepted the resignation of a senior Polish bishop whose
diocese was rocked by reports of a sex party.
Diocese was rock hard.
Ha.
Rocked by reports of a sex party involving a male prostitute held in the priest's apartment.
Nice.
Man, if I try to pronounce this name, we definitely get canceled.
Are you smoking more weed?
Yeah, man.
Yeah, let me get a bonk.
Shut the fuck up, man.
You smoked that whole fucking joint, you asshole.
He was detained with pink fuzzy handcuffs.
Okay, so wait.
Man, Larry's on a bender now.
Jokes of the year.
The guy was 59.
He was 69 to death.
He asked everyone to forgive his human limitations, which, hey, okay, I can roll with that, man.
And then he said, don't worry.
Be happy.
Fucking, this guy came under criminal investigation for throwing a party attended by a male sex
worker.
All right, there you go.
Well, sex workers kind of work.
You think?
I mean, those are the hardest working people in the industry, in any industry.
All right.
Some of the hard...
Oh, here's the joint.
So something happened and a guest at the party collapsed after overdosing on boner pills.
Nice.
How many boner pills?
And a lot of people...
Come on.
Can I get that or what?
I'm lying in the fucking thing.
And then a lot of the people before the boner pills killed them, God.
How many boner pills do you have?
Dives from getting their ass rammed so hard.
Because it does fuck with your blood pressure.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Well, actually, they are hard pills.
And he's probably doing blowskis.
Yeah, of course.
You know, a couple of nose beers, maybe some ketamine.
Who knows, man?
This guy's a fucking bishop.
I can't remember a single night with a male prostitute with no cocaine.
What kind of drugs do you think a bishop gets, man?
Oh.
You don't want that fat ass shit.
Oh, shit, right from the fucking mob.
Right from the teeth.
I thought you said you were lighting it.
Now you're just smoking it.
Fucking asshole.
You're gonna get a kick right to the fucking chops.
All right, so, you know, these fucking bishops and pulps, they really party down in the
pool.
How do you get a Pollock bishop out of an orgy?
Have someone overdose.
That's good.
I was gonna say wave to him.
That's a one arm.
Like the one arm.
How do you get a kick?
Man, we're just all over the floor.
One arm, man, in the tree.
One arm, Pollock out of a tree.
Wave to him.
The classics just get you.
You know what, that's why they're the classics.
Yeah, I know.
If they weren't fucking great, they wouldn't be the classics.
Oh, man.
Yeah, so now, it doesn't really say if this fucking bishop is gonna get charged with murder.
Well, if the guy, or not murder shall I say, or some sort of charge against him.
The prostitute is the one that OD'd.
And he probably was on other drugs, man.
Oh, come on.
It's the Vatican.
Yeah, and the most erupt thing in the world.
It's not even a city or...
No, no, it's its own thing.
Yeah, it's its own entity.
It's fucked up. It's really crooked.
I mean, you want to get fucking caught up in some mysterious and fucking nefarious stuff.
Just to be a nun in a nunnery in any fucking place anywhere.
United States, Canada, Mexico.
Yeah, other countries, literally.
It's very dangerous. It's very dangerous. You're gonna get raped.
Well, because you read that book, yes.
Yeah, well, you know.
That's definitely gonna get kicked off a YouTube.
Like Sadame and shit, you could become a nun or a priest and you'll fucking get plenty.
Plenty.
So, you know, there are all Sadamites is what I'm saying.
They're fucking bad, evil, motherfuckers.
That is the most sacred hole.
Killers, murderers. They fucking kill babies.
I mean, come on. Sadame and Gomorrah.
We've been taught from an early age that that is the most dirtiest sin.
Maria Monk, she and you know, here's the other thing, man.
They would go around to houses.
Man, are we gonna really talk about this now?
Well, just to get it out of the way real quick.
They would find a house with like a hot looking daughter and you know, hopefully the daddy would.
Yes, we know, yes. We could get the gist of it, Larry.
And they'd say, you know, you'll fucking get a better chance of your family not going to hell
by giving us your daughter.
So now we, so we talked about religion killing more people.
Now we're talking about religion raping more people.
Yeah.
I mean, all in the name of God or higher power or whatever you believe in.
All in manipulating the name of God, not in the name of God.
They're doing in the name of Lucifer.
That's my wife. She got me some jelly.
My wife.
Very nice.
What do you hit list?
Yeah. Hey, you know what?
Thanks everybody for tuning in.
No shirt, Nick. Everybody that stayed this long that are still listening.
You guys are fucking great.
Oh, you don't have your hit list?
No, I'm just going to do it out of my head.
Chrissy, Jessica.
Mr. Rex.
Yeah, Mr. Rex fucking Matthew out there in Florida.
Mary Kiki.
Mary.
Yes.
Shorty if he comes through. If not, you're axed.
No, dude, you never act. That's my nephew.
I love you, Alex. I'll never fucking.
Hopefully he comes by because we're getting ready to buy a camera and we're going to start
doing video episodes next week.
Well, I don't know. Next week we're going to try and get it together as soon as possible.
He's putting fucking deadlines on us.
Yeah.
Okay.
And of course we got to fucking think.
Yes, we got to think.
Ross, I said, Marcell ready.
Jerry.
We said, Jay.
Okay. So these people won't mind being called out.
Relax.
You had half a beer and you're wasted.
I'm not wasted. Tiffany.
And we got to also, without fucking ever forgetting.
What's that?
For the studio time. Thank you, Tom.
Thank you, Tom. That's T-H-O-M-S free clinic.
And if your dog's got crabs, don't worry, we won't ask.
Tom's free clinic.
If you get crabs, don't pick them scabs.
Hey, but seriously.
Oh, so you have kids that get the car too.
Tom always wants me to reiterate.
The car and the veterinarian sections of the business do cost money.
It's not free, car, fixing place.
Free clinic? Yes.
Sometimes, you know, people get that confused and they think he's going to fix their cars for nothing.
And that Tom doesn't do that.
He will take walk-ins for free with the venereal diseases and other such things.
With the free pair of wipers or an air filter, depending on how bad it is.
Hey, if you...
We will steal your information and your cultures.
If you got a case of warrants that's bad enough to make it into some kind of medical fucking journal, maybe they'll give you like free oil change.
When I lived in Cali, they would give you, if you had abscesses, that you would go to a place and they would...
...vote a trip?
And they would extract stuff out of it to make...
I won't say serum, but to make...
I don't know, antidote or what is that called?
Make people sick.
I don't know, but they pay people for it.
Oh, man.
Look to these guys, I knew people, these abscesses, they would just go in there and...
That is fucking sick.
Yeah.
I mean, they're promoting the genocide of man.
That's it.
That's what they want.
Yeah, the war machine was going to keep going without you or me even having an interview, right?
Shit, I know that, but it's amazing.
We need another American revolution.
Fuck the Civil War.
It's not like Snake Venom or something.
What are they actually doing with this pus and shit that comes out of there?
What would they want with that?
They're making...
I don't know, man, cultures and shit.
I don't know, dude.
That is weird.
Yeah.
I mean, I love how you think that's weird.
That's not weird at all.
Well, no, it's weird because it's not like...
You're taking advantage of the most disadvantaged people.
It's just like the people that are fucking trafficking the people at the border.
Yes, we already talked about this.
It's very sad and I don't want to see children hurt.
That's what happens.
Countries and shambles.
Hell, yeah.
I mean, all you and I have is this stupid voice and this stupid room smoking weed.
Aw, man, this room ain't stupid.
No, but I'm...
I'm joking.
That's why you smile, Larry.
But, man, we love you guys for listening.
And I'll tell you, man, this...
The champagne of beers.
This is some good shit.
It's a champagne of beers, dude.
I feel like a king.
A stranger?
Oh.
You know, champagne drinking down my own bottle.
Like, I just won the fucking Super Bowl or whatever it is that they wear.
You just won the Super Bowl.
Larry, where are you going?
Boys Town.
Yeah.
You know, they always ask him...
And then Disneyland.
Instead of Disneyland, you're like Boys Town.
Boys Town in tomorrow morning, Disneyland.
It's just shut up in the back of a gay club.
It's a weird Disneyland.
It's behind Dumpster number four.
Oh, they have three other ones?
Yeah.
And this is a pretty big gay club.
Yeah, dude.
It's fucking Adventureland, Disneyland, fucking Sanus Village.
It has a local reference.
That's pretty funny.
So is Adventureland.
Yeah, I know.
That shit's gone.
That's a good one.
All right.
Let's close this bitch out.
All right, bitch.
Fuck you.
I'm gonna choke you.
Thank you for tuning in.
I'm Larry.
I'm Needles.
Peace.
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We love you.
Bye-bye.
Larry in Needles show.