Time to get ready for the Larry Needles show
Okay, everybody
Welcome to the Larry Needles show. I'm Larry and I'm needles
I want to start off on a somber note. We lost a family member of the Larry Needles universe
Um shout out to Otis. Oh, yeah, yeah, he was 15 years old
He was a little wiener dog, you know kind of like you you got a little
Who died man? I didn't even realize it. Yeah, I would think like oh who died now
Little bit softer now in heaven may the hills be rolling and the chew toys be plentiful Otis. Mmm. So
RIP Otis man like to speak to the dogs in their own language out there. There's any listening. You just like it rough
It's been proven should talk about you tried to sexually sex sexually assault a woman in our class last night at Krav Maga
And the instructor worked you over
So we have with the women in the men thanks to society now men and women cannot intermingle
Yeah, and a combative form or anything of touching because you know, obviously literally has that rapist moniker going about
and I tried and
They were not down with that
so there was
So there was me needles in the sky Dave and then let's call her Svetlana. That's kind of hot
Yeah, and she's kind of cute and she's definitely like from Russia or something got an accent and
in this in the
Teacher the fighting teacher that the class was a little bit small and shrunken
So the first thing he says is he points to me and needles and goes you too cannot be together
You got to be separated
Got a kid in his 20 year old kid telling us that we can't fight he's fucking what 27 years younger than me
You know, I don't I don't trust you too. He's had another month
right and then
And then you know and he's like, okay, so you two fight and then he goes and I'll fight and then the guys like an
I'll and I'll fight with Larry and I said I'll fight with the girl. I'll fight the girl
Oh, man, he grabbed on you. You were yesterday's tomatoes
He was ready to fuck it choke your ass out. He can't even he can't even fight with her. Isn't that crazy?
He can't know
That's why they had to pull Ray out
Man
Remember they were very adamant about
Co-ed people touching or us touching now women. I mean, we're not even trying to do it in inappropriate ways
We all know we're sticky fingers. Yeah, I just wanted to break your arm or something
You're just trying to smell our butt like that dude at the bookstore
Like this is my new move
Squad the book store
spot on my face
Right in front of every you just play dad
There's play possum again. So no, it was fun last night. Oh, I forgot to tell you
She was rolling around on the ground at one point. Well, yeah, it's lit anymore. That's what well either could you I mean come on
Let's be honest. I was the lungs of an 80 year old man. What was it rolling on the ground though?
You were just dying. Yeah, I mean you couldn't even fucking kick and elbow anymore
But that's all right though. No, I did it for the full time. Did you yeah?
Yeah, yeah, I see cuz I didn't hold the pad for him. I did double
Oh
So that was kind of like I got a double workout we tried to get just for those few kicks and shit
We tried to get the third bromuda triangle of crowd McGuy and but he's got midget foot right now
So hopefully your foot heals Kiki and maybe next week you can come on and grace us with your presence. Um, um
So fuck what did I what was I gonna say? I completely forgot
I need to carry the show for a minute, but um
Where are you going tonight Murphy's law? Yeah going to see Murphy's law
What were Reggie's at Reggie's rock house or whatever they call it? I think maybe just Reggie's and um, I
I'm excited and Murphy's law is fucking great
One of my favorite bands. They rock. I like Murphy's law. Yeah me too
They're like sort of like punk metal sort of yeah, they're a little punk
You get old that for a minute
You know no filter friend, okay, the fucking show starts at like nine o'clock probably eight o'clock eight o'clock
They probably have an opening band two opening bands. Oh fuck
You're looking at ten o'clock then and I told them and then last week we didn't get out there until like your last time
We saw a DRI we didn't get out there until like 130
He thinks we got out of there at midnight because he drank fucking 37 beers
I only drank two fucking beers at his fucking elbow sore after that night. I bet
Yeah, he was fucking kicking him back he
He he wants to go at 430 today and it's like dude
Fucking Murphy's law ain't gonna hit the stage. So probably 10 30 10 o'clock at night
And why the fuck do you want to sit in traffic? I don't know. I mean, that's a fuck Chicago traffic fuck
Chicago, yeah, you see the fucking
Those kids that they they're trying to kick out the which ones the there's like a
An inner city football team that all shares this field house like that's their home base
Okay, and they're trying to kick them out to move migrants in oh man
So they had a town hall meeting fucking a and assholes all the kids showed up in like their uniforms
And everybody was going fucking buck wild nice and they were trying to
They were literally telling everybody to shut up to shut up like your voice doesn't matter
But we're trying to push fucking migrants into your community without even asking you well
You know, it's funny because they're shipping these motherfuckers and busing them and flying them all over the country and
And leave it to Chicago for these motherfuckers to you know
Everybody just lays down and takes a course except for Martha's vineyard
But the ladies I saw a bunch of black ladies on TV. They're like, uh, uh, man
We're not gonna be fucking put to the back of the motherfucking shit back of the boss
Yeah, while you're taking care of these assholes that don't even fucking belong here
Yeah, we're already getting fucking scraps and now you're fucking taking that away you have pumping any money in our communities
Got it now all of a sudden you have money to house and feed and medical care and all this free shit for what?
Yeah, for what if you notice most of the people that are coming over the border. It's not a lot of women and children
It's military age men all all military age man. Yeah, there was something like, you know out of like a thousand fucking guys like, you know
14 women. Yeah, so I mean there's it's like Scarface. That's what it's turning into
They're sending these people over here and now fucking dick bag. I'm not Adams, but what's his name? Um?
Adams is New York. What's fucking Brandon Johnson Brandon Johnson Brandon Johnson is he's got a conundrum right now
because he agreed to take all these migrants in and
Now they don't have a place to house them and now they want to build these fucking camps for the migrants
But the problem is is that it gets so cold in Chicago. They don't know how to heat these tents for the migrants
Yeah, and it's cold out today. I hope these motherfuckers are freezing
Well, that's not Christian Villeri. We have Christian values. I know it's not everybody
They don't make them walk somewhere south. It's but it's but the problem is is that they're just letting these people in
Have you noticed in the last three days? Biden's done three things
Because he's so behind in the polls
Student debt nine billion dollars. They're gonna start building the wall now. Yeah, which I mean
Which is on already. Well, they're so dumb Congress set aside a bunch of money to do this and they fucking burnt through it
With their fucking work agenda. Yeah, and here's the other thing they're shipping people back to Venezuela. They said so hopefully
Well, no, that's what they said they were gonna do they're starting a ship. I want to say my dad was telling me about this girl
They got a big Joe they got
a
kidnapped and shit that
Was it a gang of Venezuelan? Yeah, well guys are taking turns on this fucking. I don't want it
That's I don't want to talk about that's not I mean, you know, all I could say is
When you come to the mantlet, I don't get it tonight in fucking I
Just hope our fucking
Boys in the in in the city, you know, our gang let's put it's fucking take care of these motherfuckers
You're gonna okay, so now you're gonna indoctrinate all these people into an environment that these people
Very meticulously keep tight, you know, I mean like you just don't
Go into the west side. No, these guys are running the streets got dope spots. They're doing all their own shit shit
People leave them alone. Yeah, you're throwing these migrants into their neighborhood and they don't know what the fuck is going on
No, and they're gonna find out
the fuck around and you find out what the problem is is that
What so the fucking left defunded the police cut all these guys back they took overtime off the books for the Chicago police and
Basically now there's such a strain on economics in the city
That now everybody's throwing their hands up and they don't know what to do instead of being part of the solution
They're actually being part of the problem. Yeah, and they're not really there's no
All right, we're getting about twelve hundred and fifty migrants a week. I heard it was more like 200 2000
But 2000 but you know, this is what the paper. Yeah, thousand whatever
It's too fucking many it's thousand. It's since this has been going on for 1200 too many
Well, it's been going on for weeks. Yeah, so you have to figure we probably have a hundred maybe hundred thousand
But it's actually been going on for fucking years. It's been going on since day one Biden got in office now
Here's the thing. It's just starting to affect us in Chicago. No, those people in fucking New York in
Texas and the East Coast in the South in the South West
They're affected heavily man, California
Texas especially Texas, Arizona fucking New Mexico those people are getting they're flooded with these motherfuckers
You're literally flooding Kiki's boy in San Diego text them a picture yesterday. Okay, so at the Home Depot now
It's not Mexicans anymore. It's like
Like Ethiopians or like Africans or like they're not they're not Hispanic
Well, you can completely tell and the picture is crazy like there's 50 of them and
Nobody's doing nothing and they're all just hanging around
Who's it DeSantis nor what's his name? DeSantis is Florida. Yeah, I always get them confused
Who do you want floor of California?
Yeah, oh, oh Gavin Newsom. Yeah Gavin Newsom. I always get those two mixed up, you know, they're completely red and blue
But yeah, well, you know, they're both I mean this guy with the hair this guy is he just appointed some
I think black lesbian to his governor's spot or something like that and the people and the Democrats like why would you ship somebody from Maryland?
when we have our own black lesbians in
That have been working their way up the system and now you outsource it like what the hell
I mean come on well because he wants to make sure the person that's in there does what he wants them to do if he
Well, everybody's a patty. Yeah, you know, everybody's a fucking chill
He wants to have his fucking person in there so he can make sure well, maybe that his shit gets maybe he that's might be his running mate
No, it's funny though before he's president. I mean, no, I think she's gonna take up some spot
That's that would be what he was doing if he fucking moves on
I mean the lesser of the two evils is just evil no matter what like that
He already knows before he even hires anybody that it's gonna be a black dyke well a black-ass
Dyke bitch. Okay. What I want. I don't I'm not I'm not editing you but I mean, you know
Here's the thing, you know, how do you know that this black dyke bitch?
I mean, you don't have to keep on saying how do you know?
She's gonna be the right time black dyke bitch for the job because he picked her hand picked from Maryland
Which has nothing to do with California
I mean, how are you even I mean you think she's been studying the law, you know
I mean like you just this is the fucking hypocrisy
Problem well what it boils down to is that
Biden's gonna get voted out. Okay, because if he gets voted back in it is
Well crazy that people do not look at him and be like man something is wrong with him
But you know, he's not all there. They fucking cheat man. Well, it's not okay. Listen, you know
I know from living in in Chicago my whole life
My wife being in politics, you know, even though she was just a public defender
We all know that the Democratic machine in Chicago is unbreakable. Oh, yeah
You can I mean the day is brand of a fucking city forever. It's as fixed as fixed could get Rahm a manual
Yeah, it's the fucker fucking yeah, he's Obama's boy
The worst thing is that there's no accountability Biden's gonna get voted out and he's just gonna wash his hands and walk away
Like nothing happened. It's bad as ramen manual was and he was terrible
Fuck man. Think how bad life for and then how much worse Johnson is it's really well
It's trickle down effect of woken ism and bad and it's bad like leftism shit like it is
It is crazy the way that they just like throw disregard to the wind
Yeah, and they're like we're gonna let everybody in we're gonna get rid of the cops and everything's gonna be a utopia
So you know what I mean? You know those Democrats had the cops they fucking well, you know, they didn't they believed in the cops
That was a big part of the machine
How about that thing we were listening to about voter fraud in America about they said Cook County literally crook County
Yeah, they in what do you call it? They had more votes for Lyndon?
Was it was it Johnson? Yes, it was Lyndon B Johnson then
Any and more than the
Then all by the Illinois or yeah, then yeah, then Obama yeah, then all those guys
But the whole state of Illinois and other presidents elect
Yeah, which is I've been reading a lot about voter fraud, which I don't care if anybody wants to hear the kings of it here in Chicago
Listen listen to this so
Other countries don't Mexico has one of the strictest voting laws in the world nice, okay, and
What we started doing was we started like um
We started letting people fucking just vote from home for no reason right if you say you have an ailment and you can't make it
I got a hang nail, okay, but here's the deal now what they were doing is they would mail shit to previous addresses
Yes, okay, so they would send multiple ballots out for this person and then they would wash them
So they would fucking pick them up, you know what I mean like there's somebody actually would go around and pick them up
Yeah, and then they would change the names to dead people people deployed
People that are in mental and people that they know aren't gonna vote which is the craziest
It's like Tammany Hall shit. Yeah, you know
Well, that's what they do man. Well, they it's that's what you know
Everybody knows that every fucking dead person ever in Cook County that ever died still vote three times
There's got to be a joke about that somewhere
I saw a meme where it showed a
Cage like a metal bar cage over around like look like monkey bars over a grave
Like, you know bars and they're like this is one one way we're trying to stop, you know voter fraud voting in Cook
Yeah, but they didn't show the mailbox outside
Inside the cage. Here's the other thing like on the last
The last election presidential election was so fucking fixed man. They're so fucking crooked
Well, they had they had stacks of mail and ballots
That looked like a machine filled them in like yeah part of the photocopy and they were supposedly mailed in and they weren't even
Folded they weren't even checked or they weren't foldable
So they weren't ever put back into an envelope. It's impossible to mail in a ballot without putting it in a fucking envelope
It's got to be folded, but so just that small thing right there is an obvious one
Well over time also what they've done is they've handed out and the harvesting well, they've they've done
Harvesting or what do you call it? They've made
Mail and ballots more accessible. It used to be 20% I think I get a bushing gore
I get it was was running and that was the first one that was really where bush won the election
Actually Al Gorda and he had to secede to him. Yeah, but that was because of mail and ballots
That was the fucking hanging chat
Well, they but also they waited to count these ones which only counted for like, you know less than 1% of the fucking
Yeah, but still 1% and I don't know the exact numbers. I don't know the exact exact numbers off hand
But if you're gonna I mean they're doing shit right in front of us now. They don't even hide it
No, like everything is a fucking conspiracy theory. I really think so it all boils down to somebody slight a hand shady bullshit
for for what?
Feinstein fucking dies and her she left her kids over a hundred million dollars as a public servant a
100 million dollars. I'll do insider trading. Well, no her husband
Her husband worked for PG&E, which was a gas company that was in that went into China
And there's actually there's I can't remember this thing about Pelosi also in China
I mean obviously you don't have to do you don't really need a lot around you don't need that much string to connect the dots
No, and it's pretty the worst part is is that we suffer the most
You know AOC and her big titties talking bullshit about how the how people need their looting places because they need to eat
They need family they need bread for their family. Hey, look, I can order bonga
She's dumb enough fucking box and what happened with fucking meatball and the dudes in Philly. What were they looting Larry?
iPhones and shit
Liquor stores to yeah, they had to shut 18 liquor stores down the next day
Because they're gonna do that and meatballs is influence. What would you do if we were kids and they had fucking you know?
Cocaine and heroin shots. Oh, well, that's completely different
They're these guys are going into stores and they're stealing liquor cuz it's fucking
I mean, I don't know where the cocaine and heroin shop is in Candyland Larry, but that's what I would fucking Rob
But I wouldn't care about you know, they don't know if that was it. Here's the thing. I would hire you
I'm doing okay. Yeah, I can tell I mean Jesus
Now here's the thing what's the thing Larry these motherfuckers are taking what they for sure could either a use or be get rid of easily
You think liquor? Yeah, come on dude
But you know the iPhones thing is dumb all those things are useless
Well, yeah, as soon as they steal them
They have a fucking kill code and it kills all those phones and other paper weights
Yeah, and if you even try to
Tamp her with it. It sends a beep beacon out and meatballs like a fucking famous
Well, I don't know famous. She's an influence. She posted bales begging for money and and she's got a start me
Kickstarter, whatever fun me fuck. Go fuck me page and uh, she's a fucking
Craig page. Yeah, that's you should oh, it's not only fans page really. Yes, man
Yes, you can would you really watch a chick finger blast herself. That's named meatball. That looks like a meatball. I mean she was wearing a shower cap
I mean what is going on really good ghetto? I mean
Hey, man. Shall I say?
Needles is probably has four kids. Well needles has got the track suit on today celebrating the first day of track suit weather
So I mean, I don't exactly dress like a prince here. I got fucking long underwear on
Today because you're a city reading fucking come get some come on come and get some sissy
That's what I thought bitch
I'll beat the fucking shit out of you. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna fuck around with my microphones in my gear. I'll move the microphone
Go outside. I'll bust your fucking. Yeah, okay
The only way you're gonna bust my ass is if you fuck it's the fall hit me and then finger my butt
Yeah, uh-huh, whatever
You're talking big for a fucking little twat. Oh
Oh, actually, that's good. You want a small twat, right? You don't want a big one
Yeah, you're fucking pussy
Oh, see I got your idea
Oh, now you're gonna kill me. I mean to clip that and send that to the police and send it
That's all right, though. We could do your fucking they'll probably say good. We fucking never did like that fucking kid
I don't think they know me. I'm not a person that has known the local law enforcement
They might know you through your brother or something. He's been dead for fucking years
It doesn't mean shit man. Yeah, there's been a rotation of everybody. I know you're gonna tell me that there's no
I mean, there's no sure. I mean, we know one guy who's fucking tells us he's wanted by the police
But I don't know if that's true. That might be farcical
well
I know what's not a farce is that uh
It's pretty spitterfike. Yeah, he stole my bicycle
This jagged on your own man stealing leary's bicycle man on the fucking 36 year old 38 year old man or something
Who steals a man's bicycle? It's 36 years old. He's a fucking jailbird and uh
He beat the hell out of his girlfriend at a bar and I want to say I'm gonna make a disclaimer that
This guy
Is not it's just an acquaintance. Yeah, he's not a friend
He's a dirtbag no doubt. So he's got all the
All the dirtbag traits to prove it and um, yeah, so he beat up all 80. How old is
Well, no, here's what happened. George is have in his 70s. George is 64 years old and he's in bad shape
He looks like he's in his 70s. He looks like he's 80. Yeah, he's got a big easy top beard
But he's got the uh, he's a good roomatoid arthritis and fucking he's a real good dude. So first this kid will call him james
Anyways, I mean he beats up his girlfriend gangsters the cyples
I don't give a fuck. I mean I can tell
And he beats up his girlfriend at the bar and he fucking why did he beat her up?
Cause she because it was a black guy that was the bartender a bartender. That was the black guy
He felt like she was being too nice to to him to the bartender. I'm like, dude
It's the fucking bartender serving drinks flirt with them a little bit. You get a free one or two
And so he didn't fucking get that because he's very insecure and I'm very insecure
Men don't hit women. No, but Larry tried to beat one up yesterday. No, no, I just wanted to wrestle around on that mat
I mean that sounds even worse. You should just say I mean Larry
So anyways, he goes to george's house on foot because now he leaves the bar because they call the cops because he's beaten
On his woman in the bar. She's in her car still
He goes to george's which was like his stepfather george used to date this kid's mom
They went out for years and the kid's mom passed away from illnesses
He was his mom was cool. Yeah, and so anyways
He's telling george the story that he beat up his girlfriend and george goes man, that's not cool
Why would you fucking do that? What's wrong with you? And so the kid goes fucking crazy
I mean, we're talking hitting him with objects. Yeah, so he's like so now i'm a fucking
Woman hitter woman beater and george's I mean you call spade right and so he smashes george in the head with a
Full garbage can I thought it was just a lid
No, it was a full oh it was the can
Yeah, he fucking zinged a metal one a metal one zinged it across the kitchen
About five feet in the corner of the bottom of the can hit george in the head
Why do you have a metal garbage can in your kitchen because he's george?
It's the fucking kind that's like oscar the grog
Yeah, I know the ones that used to use his shields when you were kids
Yeah, exactly so this son of a bitch so he beats george's hands now he hits him now he body slams george a few times
and uh, he has
George on the ground george jammed his thumbs in the james eyes
Good, he should get him off of him and then I guess uh, he was whacking
the fucking
Uh, he had like a handle from a axe or something. No, it was from a snow shovel
So it was a hollow aluminum piece of metal everything's aluminum in this kitchen
Let me tell you man. So he was beating the shit out of george
with the uh, aluminum fucking
Handle yeah in the head in the back in the side beating his ass
So now the kid comes to my house after this and this is at what time about one two o'clock in the morning two o'clock in the morning
Me I'm sleeping. I'm dead tired. I just played a gig. I was up
I fucking didn't let me tell you I'm gonna tell you with this right now
Just by the way that he rings a doorbell. He should be put in jail
Yeah, I mean this is every time. So now I'm in bed and my wife wakes me up
Wait a second
Why did your wife wake you up? Because how did the doorbell ring?
Just go like this.
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.
Just fucking until his finger gets tired,
and then he keeps on doing it again.
And I'm talking about fucking 45 seconds worth of that.
And then boom boom boom boom boom boom.
So he starts hitting the door.
And then another round of doorbell ringing.
The glass has already broken out,
because another psychopath broke the glass out on the front door.
So that kind of makes me happy that my door is reinforced with fucking wood.
If you would have stuck that arm through the door, I hope you would have fucking twisted it.
Like they showed us, like put your hand on the elbow.
Eight pounds of pressure, Larry, to break a bone.
That's it. To break the elbow.
To break the arm.
So this kid now, I don't answer the door.
My wife is frightened.
I'm like, fuck it, it's James.
He's an asshole.
You can tell just by the ring.
I don't want to fucking deal with this cocksucker two in the morning.
I don't know what drama this fucking asshole has.
Obviously you know, because it's two in the morning.
But I didn't know that he beat up George and all this stuff.
That was the next day George told me and I was like, holy fuck.
So I found the snow shovel handle in my front yard and he smashed,
and he smashed the side of Mary's car with it.
You never told me this.
Yeah. And I came the next day and I gave it to George.
And then I noticed my bike was gone.
So wait, he smashed Mary's car because you didn't answer the door.
Yeah, because he's a fucking narcissistic little.
Well, no, that's more than narcissistic.
And he's going wild. That's just weak bit shit.
You don't fucking. So he damages your wife.
He first of all, he hits his girlfriend.
Yeah.
Assaults. Punched the shit out of her.
Assaults his girlfriend.
Yeah.
Which is a felony, I would assume, because the way that he did.
Assaults George, which should be another felony.
But we're not going to talk about what...
Very off character on the verify.
We're not going to talk about what George wants to do about that.
Okay? No. All right.
So then he comes to your house, rings on the doorbell,
and then damages your property.
And then what does he do?
Damages Mary's car, your property.
And then he steals my bike.
That's been sitting on that driveway for years.
That I've been using. Two years.
Yeah, I've been using that bike.
I garbage picked it, albeit from my neighbor about,
I don't know, five years ago.
And all I did was pumped up the tires
and it fucking held air.
And the bike is like brand new.
And it's a huffy, like mountain bike.
It's a fucking...
It's just a...
It's a Larry cruiser.
Yeah. And I loved it, man.
And this asshole stole my bike.
And I'm like, so he came over the next day.
This guy comes over the next day.
He came over, or no, two days later.
And he knocks on the door and goes,
so I suppose you heard about what happened.
And I said, what, the shit with George?
And he's like, yeah. Wait a second.
Nothing, I'm sorry for stealing your bike
and hitting your wife's car.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm just putting in your wife's story.
None of that.
I heard...
I'm assuming you've heard the story.
What were you saying next?
He's like, you know...
I'm sorry I didn't interrupt you.
Sorry about...
I really want to tell you that I still love George and stuff.
Cause this guy did raise this kid practically.
Yeah, but at the same time, man,
I really sucked up Larry.
I rubbed the Wendy's on George's front steps
and I fucking...
Man, he got lucky George didn't see that.
I know.
But, so this guy assaults his girlfriend,
beats her up in a bar in front of people.
So he's got no morals, no, you know what I mean?
Like, all his shit's out the window.
Okay?
Then he goes and insults George,
like I'm gonna reiterate again.
And then comes to your house
and doesn't apologize for either one of them.
No, and who knows why he was coming to my house.
Maybe the fucking...
Is it sociopath or psychopath?
I don't know, a little of both.
I think he wanted to beat my ass too.
And so I...
I would've killed him.
I know.
I would've killed him.
And we were already taking these...
I would've hunted him down.
We were taking these classes already.
And then here's the only thing.
No, not even, I'll just kill him.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
I want to fucking...
I'll use an axe handle.
That's a good, that's...
I got a fucking...
Hell's Angels is that.
I got the leg from the old Ham and Organ
up by the front doors.
Oh, I thought you meant like a prosthetic leg.
That would be...
No, it's a big wooden fucking leg
and it's even bigger than like a piano bench leg.
Okay.
That was holding on to George.
I mean, the archaic weapons we choose.
Like, you know, I don't want to...
I don't want to shoot him.
I don't want to stab him.
And he's like, I'm sure you noticed I took your bike
and I'm like, yeah, asshole, do you have my bike?
Did you bring it back?
And he's like, no.
But what was it?
He took it, he stole it.
And deported it.
Well, he rode it.
He lives in, you know, the next couple of towns over.
So he fucking...
When I didn't answer the door,
he probably wanted to come in my house for a hideout
after beating George's ass.
Or fight you if you said something stupid.
Or fight me.
And I just didn't let him in.
So the asshole stole my bike and probably rode it home.
There's nothing worse than a bad drunk.
Yeah, and he probably rode it back
to the girlfriend's house, whose ass he beat.
Yeah, probably.
I mean...
So my bike is there.
This guy, so whatever, you know what?
He's a fucking asshole, James.
Shout out to this guy.
So when Larry and I catch you slipping,
we're gonna catch you slipping.
Now, hopefully he doesn't listen to this.
He probably won't.
But if he does, he might though,
because you know, he's a nosy little cunt.
That's all right though.
If he does, I hope he does, man.
For what you've done is fucking...
Because I'm not afraid of that fucking kid
and I'm fucking pissed off what he did to George.
I really am.
It's really, really fucking, really not cool.
It's not even...
Because George, let me go back.
Let me tell, let me explain this to the people.
I have known George.
He's a couple years older than me.
But I have known George,
because I hung around with this little brother and his sister.
His sister's a couple years old, two years older than me.
His brother's my exact same age.
George is...
Okay, I don't know why you're getting
into the family tree of things.
I'm just saying I fucking hung around
with his brother since like fourth grade or something.
I mean, we're getting into lineage here.
I fucking know the guy.
I hung around his...
Then why don't you just tell us that Larry?
His house was the one with the...
And you keep going.
His house was the one with the indoor pool and shit.
I was literally best fucking friends
with his brother and his sister.
Okay, well, shout out to George, man.
So really, he's fucking kinda like
he fucking fucking with my people, man.
He's a jagot.
Well, no one should go through that, you know?
And definitely he's your friend by proxy.
And that's the only reason I'm friends with him
is because I knew his mom and George took him
under his wing and I got friends with George.
Yeah, no, and I understand.
And now his mother died and now he just assaulted
the guy who was his stepdad, technically.
Yeah, and the other thing is...
But that's fine.
You know what?
There's a special place in hell for people like that.
He's not gonna be able to ride on the canteen boat.
I'll tell you that.
No.
I will make sure that he is fisted
by demons 24 hours straight.
Well, the devil will make sure of that.
Well, I'm gonna be friends with a dude.
Yeah.
I wouldn't count on that, dude.
How do you know?
Have you been there before?
I read the Bible.
That's good for you.
I mean, you're reading a book.
It says what I was like in there.
The word's written on a page.
Okay.
You don't believe in the Catholic church,
but you believe in Catholicism.
No, I don't.
I don't believe in Catholicism.
Well, to some extent.
I mean, you believe in God and, you know...
I believe in Jesus and God.
Jesus and God.
So that's a Catholic back, you know?
I believe that's not Catholic.
They fucking...
They made that Catholic?
They just adopt some of those things
and fucking use it.
They use it under their...
Guys of what?
Yeah, like, okay, for instance.
This is a holy thing?
Well, like they fucking mock Jesus.
False idols and relics.
Yes, they mock Jesus by having him
on the cross and accrues him.
Well, did you see that thing I sent you?
You know, that's not the way he wants to be remembered.
That was a fucking shitty time.
But did you see the thing I sent you?
That they actually make a thing
where you can nail Jesus on the cross yourself.
Yeah, I saw that thing.
And I was reading this thing also,
which is, I'm gonna tell you,
technology is awesome
because they were doing this thing
where they were taking...
It ain't funny though.
They took these...
It's very funny.
It's not funny.
It's hilarious, you're laughing.
I'm gonna hit that bong, man.
You're gonna get a parking ticket.
And so it's very...
It was an actual...
It was like a two-foot Jesus
and it came on a thick cross
and it had holes in his hands and his feet,
which I was reading this thing
that they don't do that through your hands
because what happens is your body weight pulls down
and it rips through.
It rips through your wrist, you see.
Through your wrist, yes.
I was watching this whole thing
with this guy doing like a geometry on a computer
with an actual picture of a guy who was crucified.
That I think the cartel did or something like that.
And he'd like proved that over a 12-hour period.
Like he actually had how many inches he would fall down
and it would eventually just tear through his hands
and then he would flip forward
and his feet would rip out of the bottom nail,
which is crazy.
So usually they would tie their arms up
and then go in through the wrist,
which is pretty macabre.
A lot of them, they didn't even fucking nail
and they were doing Jesus extra special.
What's that?
There was like a centipede with them.
Well, here's what they would do, man.
Here's how you die from getting crucified.
You just bleed out.
Or the birds get you.
No, no, no.
They don't, they nailed Jesus,
but they usually did. Allegedly.
Nail, they did.
That's not alleged.
That is just a for fact. I just said it.
If I said it, it's on tape.
It's for fact. Okay.
Anyways, what they would do is tie you up there.
Just tie you.
You know what the crazy thing is?
And then you suffocate from not being able to breathe
from having your arms like this.
You believe in, oh, okay.
How many people turned zombies the other day?
None.
Okay. Thank you, Larry.
I wish we had something that a bell
or a whistle or something.
I can blow.
Okay. Did you have your 5G necklace on?
Did your phone even go off?
Cause mine didn't.
Yeah. I don't know if mine did.
Cause I didn't know.
Give it off.
I don't know where my phone was.
You were so stoned.
I didn't have my phone the entire day.
You forgot your own conspiracy theory.
And here's the best part though.
Yeah. You were too high to realize.
No. Anforth was here.
Oh boy.
Down here.
And he's, I'm on my,
I'm fucking around with that bicycle I'm fixing the bicycle
cause asshole stole my bike.
Yeah.
And-
Are you gonna hit that one?
Yeah. I just packed it.
To get the fuck out of here.
It's my turn.
Listen, listen.
I am listening.
And I'm riding around on the bike,
adjusting the gears and shit.
Adjusting shit.
And I come riding up the driveway
and he's looking into his phone.
His face like two inches from the screen.
He's like, Larry, the thing was just giving me
some kind of alert.
Oh man.
And he's like looking right at it.
So I'm like, dude,
that's the thing we're supposed to not fucking look at.
Dude, he's looking right at it.
Like, remember that circle?
Like, woo.
They hypnotize you like old school.
It was fucking hilarious.
So now, so fucking, they snapped down Anforce.
They MKed Alter him, you think?
I don't know.
But here's what they said was gonna happen, man.
What was gonna happen, Larry?
I would please explain this to me in detail.
Okay.
Until I get bored and tell you to stop.
And this is not to say that this won't happen.
Still?
Right.
Okay, so you know.
There are these spike,
now this is for sure.
JFK Jr. didn't come back.
No.
There are these spike proteins that were inside the vaccines
that are inside these little gel caps, imagine.
Like fucking little gel.
Shout out, Mr. X.
Little gel caps.
And what happens is,
when these certain frequencies get played,
a little one minute intervals
or whatever bullshit they said.
That frequency too, right?
These cells within these gel caps will swell up
and break the gel caps open.
And at this time, it will let loose like Marburg,
fucking Ebola and shit like that loose into your system.
That's already in you that was inside the vaccine.
So prolonged effects or instantaneous.
It's well, if you get Marburg,
you're gonna bleed to death.
It's like Ebola.
Bleed out your eyes and ears, all your orifices.
Your hands swell and then blood comes out,
your cuticles and shit.
You're gonna die.
What a fucking way to go.
I think they said it's like an 88% death rate.
Aw man, what time is it Larry over there?
I can't see.
And when they said that, I thought it was.
Okay, so then, okay, because you know,
some of this is science, but at the same time,
who fucking knows what they're putting in these vaccines?
I think everyone is different.
Like I don't think there was some sort of consistency.
There was many different ones.
Yeah, I don't think there was some.
I mean, first of all, the FDA fucking waived regulations
and they even put these things into human trials.
They just sent them to people.
With no fucking, I know,
do we gotta talk vaccines again?
No.
Okay, because I don't, you know what?
I'm just saying.
I'm not vaccinated.
Larry's not vaccinated.
We're still alive.
I'm just saying what they said was gonna happen.
I know, and it didn't happen,
but you're still gonna wait, right?
It might not happen that day, but.
I don't really know who's vaccinated.
I mean, some of this stuff is,
I mean, it sounds like Orson Welles fucking 1984 shit.
And it also might not have been an instantaneous thing.
It might, you know.
But they said zombie shit, which I write about.
But again, it was probably just a scare on the internet.
But now your people are scaring you.
Oh yeah, everybody's scaring everybody.
Yeah, so I mean, the fucking snake is eating its own tail.
No, I didn't get that frightened
because it says right in the Bible, Jesus says,
fear not, like, you know.
But yeah, you had your five G.
You had your five G medallion on, right?
Yeah. Okay, so another false idol.
It's not a false idol. Yes it is.
I don't worship the thing. Yes you do, you are.
I don't have it on now.
Okay, but would you wear a cross?
Obviously, because you worship Jesus.
I don't have a cross on though.
I know, thank gosh.
Oh, you wanted to know what happened yesterday?
What happened?
Man, when Dave and I were scrapping,
something popped out of his shirt on a gold chain.
He had a star.
No, he had the one that looks like pie.
You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
I don't know what that is.
I should have looked it up, but man, Larry.
Pie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We were talking about this the other day.
So Indian shit?
Oh, dude, that's some trailing shit.
Larry's gonna be recruited as a honey pot for the massage.
Dude, he is in the massage.
I know he's gonna recruit you as a honey pot.
Oh fuck! Dude, it's cyclical and all that.
Holy shit.
So, I'm being dead serious, too.
I'm not joking about this.
He's a real creature, because here's the thing.
He pretends like he doesn't know what he's doing.
He's good with numbers, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
And he's aggressive, too.
I thought he buried me.
Not as aggressive as you? No.
Or they have to tell you to calm down.
A 20-year-old tell a 56-year-old man.
But here's the thing, man, I was fucking,
you know what's cool is,
because I worked one on one with Sonny yesterday,
so he was fucking really showing me.
He's got a cross on.
Sonny cross, yeah.
He's got the Italian.
But dude, when that, when that,
I don't know what that's called.
I need to look that.
He's got the horn and the, yeah, he's got the horn.
He's got the cross.
You didn't know what the horn's called?
I don't know what the horn is called, I forgot.
Ah, shit, man.
That's all right though.
It's a fucking horn or something, whatever.
It's some bullshit.
Some fucking Guido.
All he was missing was the fucking melee arm.
Kind of the moon thing.
The eye of the evil eye.
Yeah.
I mean, this guy's protected from everything now.
He's got a force field of meatballs around him.
He's got all those medallions,
and he'll beat the fucking living shit out of you.
Man, when he's fucking,
he worked you over when you said that shit
about the chick yesterday.
I said, I'll fight her.
It's hilarious.
And you didn't even think about it.
He was on you like stink on shit and you're quick.
You're like, ah, he just grabbed you.
For trying to sexually assault another class member.
That's all right though.
We'll all survive, right?
We'll fucking get to be friends with her.
Dude, there's, you know what, listen.
By the time it's all set and done.
You're either trained or you're not.
I'm not the greatest, you know, I'm not perfect.
I don't say I'm great at anything,
but at the same time, when somebody tries to grab me now,
I know what to fucking do.
Yeah, yeah.
You know?
Here's the thing though, I'm fucking looking forward to it
because, you know, I think it's like.
Looking forward to what?
Hurtin' people?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
No, I mean, Jesus.
Not that.
Here's what I'm looking forward to.
Getting real good at it because I know
that I'm gonna be able to do it really well
because it's like learning an instrument, man.
No, you and this fucking metaphor.
Here's the thing.
Yeah, man.
It really is.
Here's the thing.
It's what I do and fucking.
Yeah, bro, listen, dude.
Stars, moon, sunshine, rainbows.
Motherfucker.
There he's the man.
Anyways, it's like learning a fucking new instrument
or something.
It's fucking.
Well, you did teach yourself piano,
which I fucking respect more than you.
Yeah, I could play the fuck out of the piano.
I didn't even know what I was doing one year ago.
Did not know how to play the piano at all.
At all.
And now he plays fucking.
Now I'm gonna book a gig.
I'm gonna play a fucking gig on the piano at this place.
We were playing October 19th with Katacronik
in Maple Park, Illinois at Keith Kerr.
I'm gonna book a gig with this girl that fucking.
You're gonna what to a girl?
The girl in the guy that run the joint.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna fucking book a gig with Bobby.
Me and Bobby are gonna do a fucking gig there.
Should be Otis the Wiener dog.
That's what you guys named you.
No, man.
Why not?
That's silly.
It is silly.
I know you're so serious.
No, that's just not Otis the Wiener dog.
He's got a good ring to it though, man.
Come on.
Anyways, whatever we call it,
maybe it will be called Otis the Wiener dog.
I don't know if Robert wants to disrespect his dog
in that fashion.
No, no, no, that's a total homage to him.
Right, don't you think so?
Yeah, I guess.
I mean.
But you know.
No, I don't know.
That's why I was saying maybe that's a good name.
I don't know.
That's sometimes kind of weird, man.
You get sad before every gig
because you see the name at the gig.
It's a dog.
I mean, I don't think it's really gonna consume him that much.
Yeah, we wouldn't use like fucking Mr. Bojangles.
Who's that?
The guy who danced and he had the dog
and then the dog died.
Man, I mean, you two weeks in a row,
you're really pulling out some fucking references, Larry.
20 fucking years.
Just dating yourself.
He cried about the dog.
I know Sammy Davis Jr. did a song.
Yeah, that's it.
The song.
He was using the words, motherfucker.
And then the dog dies.
He went around, he was a bum and he had the dog
and then the dog dies and then 20 years on.
That's all he still talked about.
Was that dog?
Why didn't he get a new one?
Sometimes you can't replace him, man.
Everything's replaceable.
It really is.
You don't think so?
You're a cold-hearted bitch.
I knew you were.
I already knew that anyway.
I'll take that as a win.
Cold-hearted bitch.
I don't know if that, I mean,
is that a, you're just assuming that I'm transgender now?
I don't like this.
Speaking of transgender, did you see this fucking?
Oh boy.
Fruitcake that is.
Stalking your DMs.
Yeah, the one that keeps direct messaging me.
I cannot fucking, anyways.
No, the one that's representing Ukraine in the war.
And now this weirdo.
Wait, that is just the craziest state that I've ever heard.
Okay, no, it's a transgender fucking guy.
It's a guy.
Okay, so it's a man.
It's a man.
It's a man, baby.
With a blonde wig, it's a man, man.
With a blonde wig.
Okay.
How big is he?
Pretty big.
Well, I mean, come on.
You gotta give me fucking, how many?
He's your size.
Is he 20 stone?
No, he's not 20 stone, but he's fucking 18 stone.
Fuck them, that's for example.
He's big.
Oh, he's not 20 stone, but he's 18.
Like, that's a big one.
I don't even remember much of fucking stone ways, but.
Dude, I weigh like fucking nine stone.
I don't know about that.
Yeah, it's an English measurement.
Do you think that's what they do to our kilos?
Women in the Middle East, they weigh them
and that's how many stones they throw at them?
Yeah.
I like that.
That's pretty good.
Anyway, this fucking guy probably weighs a deuce
and he's fucking gotta fucking weigh that.
I don't even know what measurement that is.
200, man.
Oh, now deuce is tiny.
I don't even know what measurement that is.
200, man.
Oh, now deuce is 200.
Deuce, man.
I want two bills.
Okay.
Two bills.
There we go.
There you go, Neal.
I got that.
Everything's gotta be spelled out for this motherfucker.
Anyways, and he's going.
I mean, you're a sugar baby, so you have no,
you don't know what money, no concept of money.
Exactly.
Everything's handed to me.
Yes, it is.
And so this guy is going, this thing is he, she,
the Russians have fangs and the blood of the innocents
will be behind them.
Wait a second, is this a, he's a fighter?
No, man, he is a.
Influencer?
Yeah, or something, but he works
with the US Army representing the Ukrainian Army.
He's a liqueleathon.
Yeah.
And when fucking Vladimir Zelinsky saw this guy.
That guy can't dance into the room
with a big check from the United States.
La la la la la.
Exactly.
Even he said, I don't know about this guy.
Yeah, I mean, this guy's doing fucking.
Straight up weirdo.
Loopy loops, man.
He's getting on his knees and blowing everybody
in Washington.
Exactly.
Actually, I think we're the way around.
The Democrats have a two-book deal.
Out of fucking saying weird stuff like,
Vladimir Putin is a vampire and he won't be happy
till he sucks the blood of every youth.
Fuck that, Vladimir Putin is the man.
And we've already talked about this.
And I think I'm, I can't say enough.
I'm slowly coming to your side, Larry.
Yeah, if Vladimir Putin was running for president,
I would vote for the motherfucker.
I would be proud of that.
I don't know, I wouldn't go that far.
Well, he's better than, I mean,
he's better than what we've had so far.
He's very tyrannical.
Well,
Joe Biden isn't.
But he's fucking, Joe Biden isn't.
He's gonna lock up his political opponent in prison.
I'll tell you right now,
this shit that's happening in Philly and Chicago
and looting the stores and all this,
try that shit and rush a bitch.
You're gonna get drop kicked.
Yeah.
Like some guys are gonna run
from 40 feet away and drop kick you.
And no one, and then they're just gonna beat your heads
in with fucking.
And no one's gonna say on TV that,
that wasn't right and that kid should have fucking.
Who did?
You know, if we did that here,
they'd say, oh God, that cop should be put in prison.
No, you can't smoke a heater in here, man.
We're not smoking heaters.
Come on.
All right, that's fine.
We'll go upstairs.
It's, you don't have that long to wait.
No, that's okay.
Well, man, fuck, call me out and shit, whatever.
Well, yeah, no, they wouldn't fucking tolerate
any of this bullshit that's going on.
That is great.
That, that, that Russian shit where the guy fucking
gets his head just kicked in from.
The guy is like, the guy is about six feet away
from him when he jumps.
Dude, he runs.
And hits him with both feet in the fucking head.
And he hits the ground like a sack of rocks.
And then the cops swarm in and just start beating everyone.
And all the guy did was like stole a pack of M&M's or something.
No, I think he was a car thief.
Oh, was he?
I think it was, it wasn't that bad at all.
Like here, they would have let you run.
You'd be the mayor if you had a, you know,
a car thief, you're practically clean, buddy.
How many felonies you got?
You know, 27.
Oh, but yeah, they don't fucking run, Russia's how it should be.
But they also make their own drugs like crocodile.
Yeah. That's where fucking originated.
Well, that's where Crank came from and shit, right?
No.
Crank.
Mm-mm, that came from fucking, that's just concoction.
It's a fucking, it's similar to crocodile and crank.
No, no, no, no, no.
But there's.
I thought it was.
Both of them eat your fucking arm off.
Yeah, they eat your flesh.
I mean, they just, it's fucking disgusting.
I showed you that video, didn't I?
That guy that had that open, the wound was like.
Dude, I've seen a video where it showed the guy,
the guy had a fucking amputated fucking arm
and his fucking girlfriend is shooting him up in the stuff.
Yeah.
They're little stumpy in lids.
Another little fucking, I saw her on TV and something,
they're interviewing her or something
or it's on the internet maybe and she wasn't bad looking like.
But stumpy wasn't there.
So he probably was dead.
It looked like, you know, she was just turned into a junkie
because she still didn't, she didn't look off.
She didn't have that thousand yards there.
Yeah, but she was, it turned out, no,
she was a hardcore junkie and she said,
I got to go out and do everything now
because my old man lost his leg from that.
Crank shit.
Now he just walked and I just nods and jackals.
And I'm like, holy fuck.
His name is Hoppy.
You can't nod out on one leg.
I know.
You need a crotch literally.
I mean, what a fucking metaphor right there.
And then it sucks because then you'd need a crotch with a hinge
so you can bend over at your waist
because you'd have to nod out with just your head.
You couldn't bend your whole body forward.
You just need a wheelchair.
Yeah.
I mean, that's like the ultimate,
that's an ultimate dope score, a wheelchair.
Yeah.
You just wheel around in that bitch all day.
You don't got to walk or shoot whatever you want.
Nod out in your chair.
Chain yourself to it because you're going to get stolen.
That sounds like a dream.
It does, really?
No, not really, dude.
It's really, man.
You just smoke weed all day.
It sounds terrible.
You know, maybe you can get a check.
It's so fucked up.
You know what?
It's so weird because when I see those people.
What do you mean those people?
Damn, Larry.
Well, when I see like when we look on the internet
and you look in the different neighborhoods of the people
on the street.
Yeah.
And you realize, man, those people are so, so fucked up
that A, it looks terrible.
Oh, I would want to be that fucked up.
I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
What's C?
No, no.
It's bad.
You got some?
That what C is?
You got some?
And C, I think back to how fucked up we would get.
And but at least when we were like that,
I had someone to scream at me and say, hey, motherfucker,
straighten up or something.
And then you had the next day.
No, you know, and I would, you know, not.
Oh, we can talk about not now.
Yeah, and all that.
You know, you could actually maybe
seem somewhat human.
Fuck clean the floors for an hour.
And this fucking shit, every single person is fucked up.
Well, it's crazy because Philadelphia is not a big place.
It's not like New York City.
It's not like Chicago.
It ain't small.
But no, I'm saying, but in this, the way Philly's built,
it's small, tight streets and shit like that.
So a lot of people got jammed in.
They got us for all like what happened in Chicago.
Yeah, but if you look at Kensington Avenue in Philadelphia,
that's like the main throwaway.
And that's where the most shit's going down.
It is a war zone.
Like there's just, we talked about this before,
but it's a literal war zone.
But we got that too.
But where?
But not like this.
There's the vagrants that we have are more spread out.
You know what I mean?
Like because they're in the city, like you don't go
to the west side and you don't see that.
No.
You don't go to the south side and see that.
You think they'd let a bunch of whites just get high
and die on their shit?
No.
The Mexicans wouldn't allow that.
You try to go do that in a humble part?
Yeah, Chicago's different.
Every place is different, but Philly's just,
it's not like sprawling like this.
It's just everybody's combined,
so everybody's coagulates in one area.
And it looks a lot more horrendous than it is.
When I played in Philly, when I went on this tour
and this one guy had a sign and he said,
I'm not gonna lie, I need booze.
And I fucking said, that's the guy we gotta give money to.
And so the girl's all handing him money
and then fucking, we're at the gig and the guy,
and it was a, I don't know, maybe it was a Monday night
cause we were on tour, but it usually doesn't matter
in a punk band, you know, people are there
every night of the week and fucking,
the guy goes, oh man, I don't know how good
it's gonna be tonight, the Eagles are playing.
And I'm like, who cares?
I'm thinking, wow, the Eagles, like, I'm thinking,
the Glenn Frye.
Don Henry and shit like that.
Yeah, no, but he was talking about the football team.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
So the place was empty.
Yeah.
There was like 10, 15 people there.
Because every fucking person, and I'm thinking, wow,
he's going, oh, we love the Eagles here.
Oh, they love the Eagles, man, I fucking.
And I thought he was talking about the band
and I'm like, wow, they really love the Eagles that much
in Philadelphia, what the fuck is going on here?
I told you this story, I drove into Philly,
I was at work and literally five minutes
and it was like one, two in the morning, there was a fight.
As soon as I passed the sign,
because there were like all these shady bars
from which way I came, there was a fight outside.
It was like the city of brotherly love.
Nice.
I've been there, it's a fucking shithole.
One time I woke up in the back of the van
and I look out the window and it says, go flyers.
And your ass was sore.
It says, go flyers in one of the office buildings,
getting off the highway, entering into Philadelphia.
And I'm like, wow, man, they know about the flyers
all the way out here.
I thought it was the Schaumburg flyers they were talking about.
No, you're just stupid.
I mean, I'm not even gonna give you a pass on that one.
And my drummer's like, dude, man, the Philadelphia flyers.
The Schaumburg flyers are in Philadelphia.
See, I don't know about all the fucking teams
and all that bullshit though.
Well, it says Philadelphia and then flyers.
They say Philadelphia, it just was written in it.
Oh, it said flyers?
Yeah, it just said flyers and it was on big pieces of paper,
on computer paper, with one letter in each window
in a big office building.
Philadelphia's notorious.
You wanna hear something they did great as a fan base?
So they got a good laugh out of that.
I mean, I'm not even, I don't know why you even
entertained me with that story.
I'm just saying, I didn't fucking realize.
How retarded you are.
First of all, I woke up out of a dead sleep.
I didn't even know what city we were fucking driving into.
I was on the road already for fucking a week or more.
Tell me what the fuck you wouldn't know
what the fuck you were doing either, asshole.
You know, literally all riled up.
Fuck you.
Yeah, fuck you too, bitch.
Come and get some.
Damn, you under your hit list?
Because you're about to get hit.
No.
Do you know where it's at, Larry?
No.
There we go.
I am so stoned.
I know, I can tell.
I wonder if no filter Frank is upstairs fucking with Mary.
No, he would have came downstairs.
I didn't hear the door.
Well, no, you can't hear anything down here.
I could, okay.
I don't have old man ears.
Okay, okay.
It's a heavy wood door.
Now you can hear better than I do.
63?
Yeah, fuck.
I can fight better than you and hear better than you.
Aw.
This bitch.
This fucker's asking.
I'm gonna go outside and I'm gonna even take my shoes off.
I'm gonna fucking throw my shoe at him.
It's been raining out.
Yeah.
Oh, you're like that dude in the bush,
remember when he threw the shoe at him?
No.
You remember that when there was that dude
that threw like a, it was a scene?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he hit him with.
He didn't hit him.
He didn't already to go over.
Bush fucking had a quick reaction.
That would have been great if he would have hit him though.
Aw, you wanna get, imagine.
I thought Bush was a fucking cocksucker.
Yeah, he was.
He was fucking orchestrated.
Well, he didn't orchestrate 9-11.
He was just a guy that was put in charge
to make it go through.
Mm-hmm.
He was a middle man.
Mm-hmm.
But we all know what we feel about that.
Fuck that middle man.
I don't know about that.
That's kind of gay, but okay.
Nice shot, finally.
There's like nine kids.
Finally.
All right, lead your hit list.
Fuck off.
All right.
I don't know why you just did that, okay.
Because I knew it wasn't gonna go in.
All right, no filter, Frank, man.
Hope you're not upstairs.
See ya.
Yeah, hope you're not upstairs.
We're asking Mary right now, motherfucker.
Ross Van out there in Arizona.
Matthew, Chris, you guys out there.
Is that Barbara?
Yeah.
You're fucking gay.
No shirt, Nick, what's up, bro?
Still working on that same tank of gas.
Thank you, sir.
Car hasn't moved.
I didn't get insurance for that.
I didn't get insurance for that car yet,
but I'm working on it.
But I'm still driving that bitch around.
Dude, donuts in that motherfucker.
Oh man, Zodiac.
We're gonna mix down that tape, brother.
The Lost Fucking Banana Sack tapes.
I don't know, is that like code way fair stuff?
Yeah, no.
You better not get a box.
Zodiac is my buddy.
I know who it is.
I know who it is, man.
Tiffany, Tiffany Woodcock, what's up, baby?
Woodcock's Woodshop?
Chrissy, Luanne, Becky.
Hello, hello.
Sherry.
I love you, Sherry.
Jessica, Clara, Elena and Harmony.
Fucking cats.
Mary.
Mr. Axe.
That's Mr. Axe.
Javel, hope you're listening, man.
Yeah, I heard he's flooded right now,
so I hope you're doing okay.
Of course, the only fans, girls.
Oh man, when they keep on sending you pictures
and every time I come over, all the files are open.
So I know you looked at them.
You can't hide that, Larry.
And shout out to Otis, R-A-P, brother.
Yeah, and we gotta save because of that.
There we go.
Well, otherwise we won't get our studio time paid for
by Tom's Free Clinic, the best clinic, AKA,
and this way in west of the Mississippi.
Yeah, the best car mechanics, too.
If you're coming off the run with the president's first song,
called Tom's Free Clinic, we now have methadone
and methadone substitutes.
They should also think about taking,
what's his fucking name, the attack dog
that the Bidens had, had bitten over the guy.
Oh, Cooper, not Copper, no, Sergeant or...
Something like that.
Yeah, he bit the 12th person.
Major was the one.
No, but the commander.
Commander, there we go.
Major was the last one.
You know what I tried to find?
Real presidential names for the dogs.
I'm gonna tell you something.
I tried to find...
Tom's could take care of that.
If you have a dog that bites everyone...
I can't kill him.
I mean, that's what you do.
So bring Commander in, Tom's.
But they have to fly him in.
If Hunter brings him in, we'll give him a...
We'll give a good deal.
Get some kitty catamine, too.
Yeah.
You bring the blow, we'll give you some catamine.
Oh, what was I just thinking about?
Yeah, Tom's.
Oh, I was trying to look up the races
and the ages and the genders of all of the people
that the dog bit.
And it couldn't find anything.
Because I was gonna make a good Jew joke about it
because it's a German Shepherd.
But I could not find any information about...
They said a secret service woman.
A secret service woman, no gender, no nothing.
Well, gender, it's a woman.
Well, for most of them, for the majority of them.
It bit the gardener and the fucking dog.
You remember it bit by a dog?
Oh, yeah.
I've been bit by a German Shepherd.
Kiki's German Shepherd bit me.
I've been bit by a German Shepherd, too, as a kid.
Yeah, not cool, man.
No, no.
But never attacked because here's the thing.
I got my leg bit once really good when I was going by
on a bicycle too slow by this place
where I kind of knew there might've been
a German Shepherd there, but I didn't see him.
And usually we would have to get some speed up
to go past this one house
because motherfucker would attack you.
And then another time when I was fucking partying
over at the Highland House, man,
we were smoking rocks one night.
Now, all of a sudden the fucking Kurtz dog,
my hand was in the dog's mouth all of a sudden.
I'm like, yo, and he's like, yay, smoky.
Oh my God, man.
It sounds like the Terror Dome.
I know.
And I'm like, dude, what the fuck, man?
I go, I can't afford, you know,
basically a bum that plays music.
I can't afford to get my hands getting fucked up.
It's my only way of getting money.
Yeah, I can't do hand jobs anymore behind the butara.
Yeah.
And you know, and he's like,
I'm really, really sorry about that.
I should have said pickwick.
I would never do that behind pickwick.
No, just mouth stuff.
You're real fucking smart.
I'm just trying to make jokes.
Needles is blacked out and he's had fucking.
I'm not, what the fuck are you talking about?
I'm blacked out.
One monocone in half of water.
What day is it today?
Friday.
What's the date?
October 6th.
Yeah, Larry, pulling through for me.
Even I would have berated you no matter what.
So it'll be nice to you.
I know the date and I know the day.
That's pretty dang good, Larry.
So fuck me, man, I know everything.
What was it again, the 6th?
Yeah, October 6th.
Yeah, you just got your check a couple days ago.
Ahem.
Sugar baby check.
Yeah.
All right, let's close this picture.
I don't know about that.
Cause you're gonna get going soon.
So we gotta fucking edit it and do our shit.
So.
All right, man, I love everybody that tunes in
and you guys are all really special for listening.
I'm not saying that in a fucked up way.
I mean it.
Yeah, we don't mean like handicapped or anything.
No.
I mean, you must be to listen to us.
Must be fucking pretty smart.
Yeah.
Anyways.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm stoned.
Have a great evening, everybody.
And don't do anything that I wouldn't do.
Unless you're in Boys Town.
I'm Larry.
I'm Needle.
Peace.
It.