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Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.

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Larry and Needles.

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And...

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And Needles.

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Larry and Needles.

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And...

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And Needles.

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And Needles.

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Show.

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Hey, hey, hey.

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Welcome to Larry and Needles show. I'm Larry.

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And I'm Needles.

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I'm sitting down later.

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Nice, uh, hump, no, not hump, morning delight.

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Afternoon delight.

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Yeah, afternoon delight.

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Little surprise up the ass.

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Little finger in the butt.

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Little big lighter.

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Lodged in your ass.

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You got to go to the fucking hospital and try and tell them how you fell on it.

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Sounds like this is actually happened to you.

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How did this get up there, sir?

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I fell on it.

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You know, it was just sitting perfect and I fell perfect.

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You could really stick a lighter in your ass though. You probably need it, right?

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Yeah, what?

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So I had court this morning.

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Oh, boy.

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You mean, oh, boy, you make it sound like it's a death sentence. I'm still here.

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I know.

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It's good though. Every continuance is a couple more months that you're not in jail and we could fucking do this program.

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Two months continuance. Not bad.

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Yeah.

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But when I go back, I think they're going to try to figure my fate out.

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Do you think they'll give you any time or is it going to be...

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I'm not the lawyer.

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No, I know. I'm just a defendant.

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Does it look like this kind of case could have time attached to it?

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I mean, possibly.

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Possibly, yes. I mean, I don't know. That's why I'm paying a lawyer to hopefully not have to go to Cook County.

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Yeah.

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Which will not be fun.

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No, exactly.

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I'm sure he'll fucking at least get you bail and keep you out, you know.

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Yeah, but it's still going through processing. Let me tell you.

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The bullpen there is the greatest thing ever.

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They don't do the stick anymore though.

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Yeah, they don't put stick in your dick.

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So that's one good thing. You know, one less fucking thing at least.

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It's not a good thing ever to go to Cook County, but...

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It's better when they don't stick the stick up your dick.

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To test for STDs. That's what they're just talking about.

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Now they don't care if you get them.

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They would stand you in a row and cotton swab your dick.

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With the wooden stick.

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Cotton swab is putting it lightly.

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It was a cotton swab.

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But with a metal or a metal with a wooden stick and like a pencil tip, you know.

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And then they actually paid those people out for cruel and unusual punishment.

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I think everybody... I can't remember. It was like a hundred bucks or something.

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A hundred bucks for every guy that screams out...

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What a fucking ache. What do you call it?

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It's a fucking barbaric fucking way to...

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Archaic. There we go.

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An barbaric.

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Yes.

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Let's check if you got anything.

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And the crazy part is, is they never change the fucking Q-tip.

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What are you talking about?

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Oh my god.

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Now you're gonna get us sued.

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That's not good.

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No, they would change the Q-tip.

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And usually every four guys...

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A lady would do it too.

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And there would just be dude standing around.

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There was chicks in the room when I did it, but here's the thing though.

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They were in a fucking...

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You were in jail. This isn't a playground.

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Much different.

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These doctors... I mean not to say that they're not fucking sadistic motherfuckers, but they're not at least...

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Did we ever talk about sounding?

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Sounding.

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They put the rod in your wiener and then they hit it?

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Oh yeah.

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Why do they do that?

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Like a tuning fork?

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Yeah, I forgot about that. I think that was like on episode fucking three or something.

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Way back then.

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We're just playing the hits now.

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What was sounding again?

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I told you they put a rod in your...

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Is it a tuning fork?

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Yeah, well something to that extent.

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It was just a long metal rod.

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Metal rod.

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A tuning fork.

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You can do two at once.

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You get a double dog.

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I'm sure they do right. Hit it with a hammer then.

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Well no, they flick it or they hit it with something.

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And it vibrates.

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And they...

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Just like, you know Edward Fish's?

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Yeah.

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Old school from like the 1800s.

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Children ate, right?

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Well everybody. He was a cannibal.

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Well children was his favorite dish I heard.

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Yeah, well I think they eat, yes.

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But he was a cannibal. He really was an EOE employer.

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He didn't really care.

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Who the fuck were you?

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He was gonna kill your ass.

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He used to take hat pins and stick them in his gooch.

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Nice.

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And they found him.

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He had like six or seven in there when they x-rayed him.

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Oh my god.

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And it's like the thing with the...

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What's the thing where the Christians

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where they put the belt on

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and they strap it on and it has like the spikes in it?

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I don't know what you're talking about.

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You've never seen the...

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What was that movie called with Tom Hanks?

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No, fuck Tom Hanks.

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He's a funerck. I heard it allegedly.

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Now you made me lose my treat.

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No, the Christian belt with the spikes.

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Yeah, the fucking...

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Oh my god.

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Albert Fish.

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Anyway, it's Albert Fish, not Edward Fish.

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Albert Fish, yes. I'm sorry. Did I say Edward?

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Yes.

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It's okay. And I'm sure our audience members

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fucking probably...

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The Da Vinci Code.

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Oh, okay. Now I didn't see that one.

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Thank god.

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He put this...

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It was like a belt that had spikes in it

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and he would strap it on

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and it sounds like a Catholic thing, not a Christian thing.

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Well, it's Catholicism.

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I mean, they are hand in hand, right?

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No. Satanism and...

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And what?

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Catholicism are hand in hand.

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Well...

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But not Christian and Catholicism.

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I think Christianity is a derivative of Catholicism, right?

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They use Catholicism...

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No.

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Catholicism is supposed a derivative

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of Christianity.

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Tomato, tomato.

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No, no. Not tomato, tomato.

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Oh, come on.

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So what the Catholic Church does is hide behind

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the word of the Lord and perverts it into

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fucking satanic shit.

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Well, we were talking about how they tore down

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Jeffrey... Jeffrey Dahmer...

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So that's why it sounds like they wore those belts

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to fucking punish themselves.

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Sounds like a fucking Catholic thing.

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I don't remember the... I was just putting it out.

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I don't think Jesus said, hey,

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torture yourself a little bit.

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Why not?

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My God.

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My God.

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Well, yes, so I go to court this morning

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and it's, you know, there's a lot of

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there's a lot of people, it's a nine o'clock roll call.

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And

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I walk in and there's this guy

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that is visibly

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high on fentanyl.

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I mean... Fucked up.

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Visibly high.

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So they have this like little table

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and they have these plastic trays where you put all your fucking

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shit in, you know? Like for people

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that don't... Yeah.

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Like the airplane. Like the airplane.

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Like an airplane sort of.

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You gotta put your belongings in the tub.

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These guys carry guns. They're not tear-to-tage.

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And so the guy

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walks over to put his stuff in now.

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He's like two people in front of me.

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Super fucked up.

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Well, when I go to put my stuff,

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because nobody knows, you know, it's hustling, bustling.

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I go over, I look, this guy is

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knotted out fully

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standing up and he's got like

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he's just got his hands in his bucket.

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The cop comes over

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and he's like, hey buddy, are you

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alright? And the dude

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puts his hands on the cop.

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Like I told ya. And the cop

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says, hey, don't do that. And then what

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does good old fucking fenny boy do

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again? Touch him. Put his hand right back on the cop.

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And the cop realize

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that this guy is not a threat.

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Right. He's super fucked up. You could have blown him over

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and taken him out. It wasn't that...

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So then they transfer

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his stuff over to the X-ray machine. And I mean

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it is the funny...

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This guy looked like... So they wound him

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because he forgot his belt

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or his watch or something. I can't remember.

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And it looked like he was doing...

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Remember that old DUI test? And they make you stick

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your head up and touch your fingers.

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His head was like looking at the ceiling

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and the guy was wounding him.

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And then he starts walking away.

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The good old days. Yeah. He starts walking away

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and he forgets all his stuff.

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So then they call him over

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and they're like, hey, this is your belt.

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He's like, I wasn't wearing a belt.

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They're like, yeah, but it's in with your stuff.

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Here's your belt.

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This is your wallet and your phone too, right?

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He's like, oh yeah, that's fine.

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You know, when you're on that shit

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and you're like, oh yeah. Yeah, man.

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Oh yeah, I had a belt.

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You have that epiphany on.

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That's fucking crazy. So then he walks

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over to the end

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and he tells the cop to wish him good luck.

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And then he touches the cop.

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The other one.

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And these guys are not too pleased

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with what's going on. They know.

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If I would have had, if I swear to God,

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I would have, I should have followed

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this guy into the courtroom to see what would happen.

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Too bad. I wasn't with you because

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I would have broke off. Yeah.

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I mean, I don't want to see the downfall of any male.

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No. I'm all about positive.

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But here's the bad part though. Humankind.

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Is male and female.

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When this fucking guy goes in front of the judge,

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all disrespectful and super fucked up.

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Disrespectful is a

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mildly. A mildly. I mean, yeah.

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This guy's high on junk

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in the courtroom. Yeah. And then when he goes

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to jail, he's really going to be dope sick.

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Either way, unless his case is so bad

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where he knows he's going to jail anyway,

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I guess, you know, I would

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might do the same thing. The last hurrah

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and get as fucked up as possible.

268
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000
I would assume that this guy is not

269
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,000
going to go meet his probation officer.

270
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,000
Even though I have done that.

271
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000
God is highest.

272
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,000
I've pissed lava for a fucking

273
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,000
for my probation officer

274
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,000
before and she would

275
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,000
be like, why would you even pee in a cup?

276
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,000
You should have just said no.

277
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,000
And I was like, well, you told me to come here.

278
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,000
I'm like, I can't even put a warrant out for my arrest.

279
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,000
Four warrants were issued also

280
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,000
in my court because people didn't show up.

281
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,000
Wow. You see, very important

282
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,000
listeners to show up when they give you that court date.

283
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000
Yeah, because for some reason they want me to show up every fucking time.

284
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000
I don't know why. It's not like I'm a flight rick.

285
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000
It's giving me an ankle.

286
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,000
It's for them to show their power.

287
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,000
I'll make this motherfucker have to show up.

288
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000
You know, it's the cause and convenience

289
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,000
to taking days off work and everything else.

290
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,000
Listen to this though. You want to hear something crazy?

291
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,000
Um,

292
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,000
so

293
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,000
they have like a public defender,

294
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,000
you know, somebody that's pro bono that does work

295
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000
and somebody from the

296
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000
like my wife,

297
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,000
somebody from the

298
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000
the bar attorney

299
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,000
and the judge says, hey,

300
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,000
if you don't have a lawyer,

301
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,000
this guy over here and he raises his arm,

302
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,000
this guy

303
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,000
will look at your case

304
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,000
and then help you out. And then he says,

305
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,000
the first one's free, the next one's going to cost you.

306
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000
Hmm.

307
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,000
He talked like a dealer. Wow.

308
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,000
Isn't that crazy?

309
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:12,000
It is, man.

310
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,000
That is fucking insane.

311
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,000
And here's the thing, the first

312
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,000
the first

313
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,000
guy that comes up to him

314
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,000
that day or is it

315
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,000
your first case? Well, no, they're just saying, yeah,

316
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,000
if you came to court without a lawyer, yeah,

317
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,000
this guy can help you out, but

318
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000
you know, you got to give you a taste first

319
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,000
and then, you know, we're going to blow smoke

320
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,000
up your ass and this is what might happen.

321
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,000
But if you pay more money, this is what might happen.

322
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000
That's all it is.

323
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,000
Just throwing money at the fucking state.

324
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,000
Yeah.

325
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,000
And this guy works for them.

326
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000
And then there was another lady. That's dirty, man.

327
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,000
Huh? That's fucking dirty.

328
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,000
Okay. Well, I mean,

329
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,000
how do everybody gets a kickback?

330
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,000
Now that guy's going to probably donate to that judge's campaign

331
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,000
to try to keep them into office.

332
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,000
Yeah. And just goes to show you how

333
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,000
skew everything is. They don't give a fuck.

334
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000
Everything's a conspiracy theory, Larry.

335
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000
They don't give a fuck, man, as long as you got the money.

336
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,000
And the more money you have,

337
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000
the nicer they'll be.

338
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000
Well, isn't it ironic that

339
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000
you can't pay your child support so they take your license away

340
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,000
so then you can't go to work and pay your child support?

341
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,000
Very ironic.

342
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,000
I mean, talk about a fucking cyclical thing.

343
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,000
They did that to our drummer, Stoney.

344
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,000
And, you know, all of a sudden it's like,

345
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,000
well, bitch, how the fuck do you expect me to get to work?

346
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,000
Now that my fucking license is spent.

347
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,000
And of course he's getting, because then he's got to keep going

348
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,000
and he's got to keep going and he's got to keep going.

349
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,000
And then he's getting pulled over.

350
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000
And, you know, lucky for us that Tony's a good fucking doctor.

351
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000
There's ways to get out of things.

352
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,000
Like, how about you throw a little bit of faith money down?

353
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,000
Like, here you go.

354
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000
As long as you give people money, they'll shut the fuck up.

355
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,000
Bill collectors.

356
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,000
You know, child support, shit.

357
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,000
This is all I have right now.

358
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,000
Yeah, but no, once you get caught up with the courts,

359
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000
it's as soon as you fuck up,

360
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000
they're suspending your license.

361
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000
He paid it off. He thought it should be paid off.

362
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000
He's got to get it.

363
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,000
And he's got to get it.

364
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000
And, you know, once he got his license,

365
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,000
he paid it off.

366
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,000
He thought his shit was good and he was driving around

367
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000
with the kids and all of a sudden,

368
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,000
it was suspended again.

369
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,000
And the cops like, well, obviously you got your kids.

370
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,000
They don't want to take you to jail right now.

371
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,000
But it's funny. You just said, once you fuck up again,

372
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,000
how about now fucking up?

373
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,000
Well, no, I said the wrong, I don't mean to say fuck up,

374
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,000
but once they cut your driving.

375
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,000
The wrong verb that you used.

376
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,000
Yeah, but you are kind of fucking up

377
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,000
with your kids from fucking missing.

378
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000
From the chick that's suing you for her body.

379
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,000
Yeah.

380
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,000
That knows you don't, that you know,

381
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000
it's all huge setup. She could be like,

382
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000
hey, pick the kids up, fucking pull his ass over.

383
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000
And then call the cops and say, he's driving.

384
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,000
Women are scandalous.

385
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000
We're a struggle of her.

386
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,000
Yeah.

387
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,000
I mean, men are scandalous too.

388
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000
No, I don't think, well, I don't know the today's man,

389
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000
I don't know what they're like, but

390
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000
I know today's man are like, they have blue hair

391
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,000
and they have white hair.

392
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,000
Yeah, but you're married.

393
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,000
No, I'm just saying back in the day.

394
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000
Well, you can't barely stoop that low now.

395
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,000
Fuck you.

396
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000
Now we can talk about it.

397
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000
I can fucking out, I can out fucking power,

398
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,000
tower of death you on the fucking.

399
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,000
So now we'll get into our Crop McGot story.

400
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,000
Going down because of you.

401
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000
So Larry and I started Crop McGot.

402
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,000
Yeah.

403
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,000
Although you had someone in front of you,

404
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,000
I can't blame it all on you.

405
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000
So Larry and I go to our first class

406
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000
on Tuesday, today's Friday.

407
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000
And, man, I almost fucking died.

408
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,000
Couldn't breathe.

409
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,000
Okay, calm down George.

410
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,000
I was picturing, I can't breathe.

411
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,000
I was picturing an ambulance coming

412
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,000
and someone was stepping on my neck almost.

413
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,000
And then it's all better.

414
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000
And then it's all Larry not to take mushrooms before class.

415
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,000
Oh, that's a good idea.

416
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,000
No, it's not at all.

417
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,000
So we go in on Tuesday to go fuck it,

418
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000
sign up for our class, we got to sign a waiver.

419
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,000
So Larry and I smoke a joint

420
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,000
in the parking lot.

421
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,000
Uh,

422
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,000
wait, wait, wait, we'll get there.

423
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000
Now you finally got what I'm getting to.

424
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000
So,

425
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,000
we smoke a huge fatty

426
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,000
and it's all these people

427
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,000
waiting for their kids out in the parking lot.

428
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000
They're taking karate lessons.

429
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000
Yeah, so these kids are taking karate.

430
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,000
Larry and I are there for our Crop McGot class.

431
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
And we show up early,

432
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000
smoke huge joint.

433
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000
It was a big joint.

434
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000
Yeah.

435
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,000
A regular Larry sized joint.

436
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,000
But we had to roll the windows down.

437
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000
So now all the parents have their windows down.

438
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,000
And our cars just permeating weed smoke.

439
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,000
And

440
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,000
so we go inside

441
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,000
and we go meet the lady

442
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000
and

443
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,000
the girl. I would say she's the girl.

444
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,000
Okay, the girl. How old would you say she is?

445
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,000
I don't know.

446
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000
She could kick you right in the nothing.

447
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000
She'll rip someone's fucking larynx out.

448
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000
But that's besides the point.

449
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,000
That's kind of hot. Yeah.

450
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000
I'd let her slap me around. She will eventually.

451
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,000
Thanks. Second you hit on her,

452
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000
you'll see how hard she kicks.

453
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,000
Yeah, I'll open my legs.

454
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,000
Ha ha ha ha.

455
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,000
Like that.

456
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,000
Chinamin there was getting his balls worked over.

457
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,000
Yeah.

458
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,000
So we go in there and we just stink like weed.

459
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,000
I mean, we literally

460
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,000
just clam-baked.

461
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,000
No, no, no, you're getting ahead of yourself.

462
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,000
Oh, yeah. You have slowed down.

463
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,000
Okay. So then we sit down and I'm like, oh,

464
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000
I'm like, yeah.

465
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,000
We're signing up.

466
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,000
And I tell the lady Larry's name is Larry Jones,

467
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,000
which is completely not

468
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,000
his real name. It is the

469
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000
furthest from the truth.

470
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,000
So now all this paperwork says Larry

471
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000
Jones, which now we have to

472
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000
make a social security number up for.

473
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000
Ha ha ha.

474
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000
So we got to fucking find some

475
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,000
dead guy and taking social security.

476
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000
So then it comes to the point to pay.

477
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,000
And I'll be, and I'm going to be honest, I asked Larry

478
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,000
to come and do this with me. Needles was very generous.

479
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000
No, so I pay because Larry's my boy

480
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,000
and we both get out.

481
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,000
So then she says- Plus let me just say it was 25 bucks.

482
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,000
So. Yeah, but she says

483
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,000
it's not like you bought me a Rolex or nothing.

484
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,000
I said you're bringing your dad out.

485
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000
Yeah. She goes, so

486
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000
I go,

487
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,000
she goes, are you guys going to pay separately?

488
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,000
And I say, well, I don't know unless

489
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000
he's going to pay for me.

490
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000
And she goes, oh,

491
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,000
and he's like, yeah, I'll pay Larry.

492
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000
And she's like, oh, that's real nice.

493
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,000
You're, is this your dad?

494
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000
And I'm like, wait, stop right there.

495
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000
We laughed the hardest

496
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,000
we've ever laughed.

497
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,000
Smelling like weed

498
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,000
in a dojo. Yeah.

499
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000
Filled with children that just got

500
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000
done doing karate and she's

501
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,000
wearing her gi. Yeah.

502
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000
She's wearing her red gi.

503
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,000
And she's got to be one in late

504
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,000
early 30s, maybe early 30s,

505
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,000
maybe late 20s, maybe

506
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000
late 20s.

507
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000
And she's a karate master.

508
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,000
15 years she's been doing karate.

509
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,000
Yeah. So then

510
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,000
she's like, I

511
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000
don't mind to ask you.

512
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,000
No, no, the, the, oh, okay, keep going.

513
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000
She's like, uh,

514
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,000
how are you guys going to get here?

515
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000
Are you driving together? Yeah.

516
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000
And I'm like, what do you mean?

517
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000
She goes, well, do you live together?

518
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,000
So then I go, it's because

519
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,000
of your haircut needles.

520
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,000
So then she insinuated

521
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,000
that Larry and I were gay.

522
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,000
Right.

523
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,000
Right.

524
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,000
And

525
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,000
keep going.

526
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,000
No, go ahead. We're not going to go.

527
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000
We laughed even more than we did

528
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,000
when they said it was. It was I his dad.

529
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,000
And we kept on ribbon out around like

530
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,000
she thinks we're gay Larry.

531
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000
She was getting like blushing

532
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,000
and I'm so sorry, you guys.

533
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,000
I didn't mean it.

534
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,000
We're just laughing, laughing, calling

535
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,000
each other gay or like you think we're gay Larry.

536
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Just stone out of her mind

537
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,000
for her first class.

538
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
It was very, very funny.

539
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000
It was very funny. We had a great fucking time.

540
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,000
But she then she says to

541
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,000
us, do you guys smoke?

542
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,000
And I go, what do you mean?

543
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,000
And she goes, anything.

544
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000
Because we're smell like fucking

545
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000
Amsterdam.

546
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000
And she's like

547
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,000
we're like, yeah.

548
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,000
Sheepishly telling her, yeah.

549
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000
Because you're an asshole.

550
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000
She's a mom. You're 57

551
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000
and I'm fucking 42.

552
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,000
And fucking

553
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,000
She's in her 30s.

554
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,000
She goes, just don't smoke in the dojo.

555
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,000
And I'm like, oh my god.

556
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,000
We're going to light up in the

557
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000
I think we're going to smoke weed in the dojo.

558
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,000
Which is great.

559
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000
We're going to be very worried about it.

560
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,000
We won't. I won't smoke.

561
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,000
We won't. And so we didn't even

562
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,000
smoke pot outside the second time.

563
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,000
Yeah. Yesterday we didn't even get high before

564
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,000
we got high, but we didn't get high before we went

565
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000
in. And I'll tell you what, I was

566
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,000
winded like a motherfucker after a couple of

567
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000
things. The first time I took it a little

568
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,000
better the second time, but

569
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,000
I haven't been smoking cigarettes.

570
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,000
Larry goes hard.

571
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,000
He goes hard.

572
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,000
Maybe I was going a little hard.

573
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,000
Yesterday. I didn't mean to do that.

574
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000
Yes, you did. You came at me like a fucking

575
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,000
Russian bear, dude.

576
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000
Even the fucking

577
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000
even Sonny was like calm down Larry.

578
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,000
Which is hilarious.

579
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,000
I told him, I go, you know, real life

580
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,000
situation.

581
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,000
And he kind of maybe little chuckle, but this

582
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000
guy, this Sonny kid is a killer.

583
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,000
He's a bad motherfucker, man.

584
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,000
Holy fuck, man. And he's got to be in his early

585
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,000
20s, mid 20s. Yeah, middle

586
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,000
20s. And if you

587
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,000
saw this kid, you'd think anybody

588
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,000
any poll. Yeah,

589
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000
you'd think, I'll blow this guy over with

590
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000
the feather. This motherfucker will

591
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,000
kill you. You'll be either

592
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,000
paralyzed or dead. That's about

593
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,000
all the two fucking options I could

594
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,000
think of because damn, this motherfucker

595
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,000
is fast.

596
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000
And he hits hard and he kicks fucking

597
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000
hard. Remember when he told the chicks,

598
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000
he said, this will be good when you're

599
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,000
getting dragged into the bedroom or the

600
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000
van.

601
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000
So what? So listen up, lady.

602
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000
And he also, you know what?

603
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000
I heard the

604
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,000
other instructor, the older cat

605
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,000
that also fucking kill anybody in the

606
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,000
world. He also said

607
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,000
the same line to the younger kids.

608
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,000
It was like, yeah, it was like,

609
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000
you know, between like 12

610
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,000
year old and

611
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000
18 year old Indian kids,

612
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,000
girls, boys, some of the boys were

613
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000
good at it. Some of the girls were like there.

614
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000
You could tell their parents were just

615
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000
forcing them to do it and they had to do it.

616
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,000
And the parents are watching from

617
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,000
this little, you know,

618
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000
there's like a three bench bleacher

619
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,000
area behind the glass where you can

620
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,000
watch the class and progress.

621
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000
Yes, as you walk in. And you can see

622
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000
that some of the Indian

623
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,000
parents are there and they're probably going to

624
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,000
say, you did not try hard

625
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,000
enough. You know, later they're going to get critiqued.

626
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,000
That's an Indian voice? I guess, man.

627
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,000
No, that wasn't good enough. If you want to get

628
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
canceled, do a good Indian voice.

629
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000
I'm not. I don't practice. How about that guy

630
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000
standing behind me through the glass?

631
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000
That was fucking weird. Dude, I thought somebody

632
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,000
was going to say that. So many needles are sitting

633
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,000
in the back fucking row bleachers

634
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000
and we're laughing. Okay, so when you first

635
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,000
were waiting... We're still laughing that she thinks we're gay

636
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,000
and that I'm his dad and everything else.

637
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,000
He's my gay dad. And all of a sudden

638
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,000
there's this guy standing

639
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,000
outside the glass, outside

640
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,000
the building, because there's just, you know,

641
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000
it's a storefront. It's a strip mall.

642
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,000
And this fucking guy standing, if we were...

643
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000
If the glass wasn't there, he would have been

644
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,000
touching you. How about this? If I put my back

645
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,000
up to the glass, our bodies would have

646
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,000
formed the same shape. Yeah.

647
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,000
You would have been able to distinguish that.

648
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,000
I mean, he couldn't have been closer. And I felt him.

649
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,000
Yeah. Not in a good way, but I felt him

650
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,000
standing behind me and I look over

651
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,000
at Larry and I'm like, what the...

652
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,000
And I mean, dude, we're ripped. I look over and I'm like,

653
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,000
man, this guy is right on you.

654
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,000
We were way too stoned for our first

655
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,000
Croma McGaw class. Yeah.

656
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,000
And they made me do some shit, man.

657
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,000
Fucking choking, punching.

658
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Dude, the best is I get to kick Larry

659
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,000
in the gut and neum

660
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,000
and then he gets to do it to me. Yeah.

661
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,000
And then we get to choke each other and

662
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,000
fucking, man, we get to do

663
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,000
pressure points. So here's the deal, Larry.

664
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,000
The Mossad Center applications for us are we going to sign up?

665
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,000
Now we're only going to die

666
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,000
four seconds quicker than

667
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,000
one second. Yeah.

668
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,000
Yeah. On the E, on the precipice

669
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,000
of our 9-11 show. On the precipice

670
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,000
of that, we better take a couple more classes.

671
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
Well, we can't, I mean. I know.

672
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,000
Next class is Tuesday.

673
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000
But I'm all about it though.

674
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,000
I'm very happy about

675
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000
doing this with you.

676
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,000
Of course, Monday is the

677
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,000
9-11 anniversary.

678
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000
Yeah, we have a big show plan for 9-11.

679
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,000
I mean, we're, you know what?

680
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
We're just going to talk about the facts.

681
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000
This is all public knowledge.

682
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000
We're going to give you... Just the facts, man.

683
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,000
Well, we're going to give you

684
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,000
places where you can

685
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,000
fact check our shit, where we got our stuff

686
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,000
from.

687
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,000
Like on that old show, you know,

688
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,000
Dragnet.

689
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,000
Is the kid on drugs? Yes, but it's

690
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,000
my son. Just the facts, man. Didn't they used to be

691
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000
like

692
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,000
9-26 a.m.

693
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,000
place, West Hollywood?

694
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000
Like, they used to like give you a time

695
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000
in a place and then

696
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,000
I remember when they went to an acid house.

697
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,000
I remember when... And it was just like

698
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,000
like

699
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,000
Yeah, I remember, you know, they did a lot of

700
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,000
acid

701
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,000
episodes on that show because it was right

702
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000
in the prime. Maybe a heroin

703
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,000
one, two, a PCP one.

704
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,000
I saw one where a kid was

705
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,000
freaking out on acid

706
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,000
at a house, like a nice

707
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000
suburban house.

708
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,000
You know, like you and your brother Jay freaking

709
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,000
out on drugs when you were kids.

710
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Yeah. It was the scenes like that

711
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000
sometimes on Dragnet and the mother

712
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,000
is like freaking out.

713
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000
She's just losing her shit. All of a sudden

714
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000
she just kills both babies and writes

715
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,000
pig out all the time. No, it never happens like that.

716
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,000
No, it always does though. It did though.

717
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,000
I think there's been some... People die on there.

718
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,000
Yeah, they would go to like a junkie

719
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,000
motel and shit.

720
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000
And people are fucking...

721
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,000
They'd want to find a dealer.

722
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,000
They'd fucking solve the crime.

723
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,000
And it was like heroin is off the streets

724
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,000
of LA and one fucking

725
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000
arrest. One swoop. Yeah.

726
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,000
Everybody in a

727
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Dragnet. That's what they get them in.

728
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000
The prototypical

729
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000
G-Man shit.

730
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000
It was Joe Friday and the

731
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000
fucking partner was

732
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
the Colonel for Mesh.

733
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
Fucking

734
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,000
Colonel... The small

735
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,000
blonde-haired dude? The little bald guy.

736
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,000
The little bald guy.

737
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,000
Colonel Potter.

738
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,000
I know what Mesh is.

739
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,000
I used to watch with Mary Lehmann.

740
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,000
The dude that was

741
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,000
the Colonel

742
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,000
was the cop on

743
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,000
Dragnet. He wasn't the dude

744
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,000
with the hat on. No, the hat dude

745
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,000
was... Well, they both were hats.

746
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,000
They both were hats.

747
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,000
They take them off when a woman would be

748
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,000
in her 60s, 60s, 60s.

749
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000
What a simpler time.

750
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,000
When you watch that shit, you're like,

751
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,000
oh my god, this is how white was.

752
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,000
Well, that was all brainwashing by the

753
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,000
FBI, Dragnet and all that.

754
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,000
It was fucking me.

755
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000
Getting us used to everyone

756
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000
freaking out on acid and everything.

757
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,000
Yeah, but they were doing that in

758
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,000
fucking other valley.

759
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,000
Yeah, yeah.

760
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,000
They were fucking MK... Oh, excuse me.

761
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,000
MK-Ultra. They were MK-Ultra, all these

762
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000
people and they injected...

763
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,000
They were talking about Laurel Canyon. Yeah, Laurel Canyon.

764
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,000
The canyon, I said. But they were

765
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000
injected... They said the valley, motherfucker.

766
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,000
Oh, did I?

767
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,000
I'm stoned.

768
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000
That bong here got me.

769
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,000
So Laurel Canyon,

770
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,000
when basically they took...

771
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,000
they concaged me. MK-Ultra, everybody.

772
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,000
You know what they were saying about

773
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,000
all those Huxley?

774
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,000
That he is the...

775
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,000
I'm not even going to get into it right now. We'll talk about that later.

776
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,000
Okay. But

777
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,000
when... I mean, they brought

778
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,000
these people with drugs. They're like, oh, these bands are

779
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,000
popular. Let's fucking feed their people drugs

780
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,000
and see what happens. I mean,

781
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,000
Hade Ashbury was the biggest MK-Ultra

782
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,000
experiment in the 1960s

783
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000
and 70s. Right. When you watch some of

784
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,000
those like a Grateful Dead

785
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,000
movie or two and they

786
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,000
talk about the parties that they would play

787
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,000
and that... Punch-Bulls of Amphibas.

788
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Yes. Yes. And okay. And so

789
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,000
every

790
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,000
weekend they would do this and

791
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,000
the thing of it is, is where's

792
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,000
all this LSD coming from?

793
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,000
You know. It's coming from the government.

794
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,000
Yeah. I mean, who the fuck made that shit?

795
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000
Exactly. Timothy Leary, all those guys were

796
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,000
compromised by the government.

797
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,000
When you really look at it, everybody has

798
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000
some sort of

799
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,000
yarn attached to them

800
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,000
to the government. Yeah. And they were all just

801
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,000
whacked out college professors too.

802
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,000
You know. Well. Freaked out.

803
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,000
Fucking... Well, they... I mean...

804
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,000
Okay, listen. If you're a pervert,

805
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,000
where do you go? To a college.

806
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,000
Where kids are. To a college.

807
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,000
You could be a professor and you get these

808
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,000
freshmen... You know what I mean? These minds

809
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,000
that you could do it. Oh, I mean, you've ever seen

810
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000
a small house? Come on.

811
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000
Come over, smoke some weed and let's

812
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,000
talk about Shakespeare.

813
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,000
You know. Yuck.

814
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,000
My God.

815
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,000
Well, I don't really remember

816
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,000
that, but...

817
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,000
And all those guys worked for the government though.

818
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,000
You know, allegedly.

819
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000
Well, they always had some sort of affiliation.

820
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,000
It's like six degrees of separation. Somebody

821
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,000
knew somebody that knew somebody that knew somebody that

822
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,000
turned his people against them or did that. Well, here's the thing,

823
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,000
man. What blows me away and we never

824
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,000
got deep enough into it because we never researched it.

825
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,000
But I'm gonna...

826
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,000
Is Frank Zappa being his dad?

827
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,000
His father, yes. Was very, very

828
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000
indoctrinated by the US

829
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,000
government. And Gale too.

830
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,000
And then here's the other thing I heard. All

831
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000
these guys like... Jim Morrison's dad

832
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,000
the Gulf of Tonkin responsible for it.

833
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,000
But how about this though? Like

834
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,000
John Lennon. Not responsible, actually.

835
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,000
He was the first guy into the Gulf of Tonkin.

836
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000
Jim Morrison's dad.

837
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,000
Huh.

838
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000
John Lennon.

839
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,000
Oh, they say Yoko Ono.

840
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,000
Mark David Chapman. No, like

841
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,000
Yoko Ono was

842
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,000
like his handler. Well, listen.

843
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,000
Paul McCartney, they say Linda

844
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,000
Eastman. Linda McCartney

845
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,000
was his handler.

846
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,000
First of all. Supposedly all these fucking guys.

847
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,000
George Bush was very

848
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,000
good friends with the Chapmans.

849
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,000
They had dinner.

850
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,000
He was

851
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,000
in town and they had dinner.

852
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Wait, Chapman is the guy.

853
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,000
Mark David Chapman. Okay, but I was thinking

854
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,000
about the guy who shot Reagan too.

855
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,000
I always get them confused. Yeah, Hinckley.

856
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,000
John Hinckley and Chapman.

857
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,000
Which we had the tickets to go see him.

858
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,000
Yes, we did. But they canceled the tour.

859
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,000
We had chickens. We had tickets to go see

860
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,000
Bart Tickets. They traded six chickens

861
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,000
to go to the concert. To go see his fucking.

862
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,000
And they said that they couldn't

863
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,000
let him chat or

864
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,000
Hinckley couldn't perform because they

865
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,000
had so many bomb threats and death threats.

866
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,000
So they refunded my money.

867
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,000
Which would have been the greatest show ever.

868
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,000
Okay, so getting back to Chapman.

869
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000
Ketchor and the Rye.

870
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,000
He knew the Bushes. When he got caught.

871
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,000
He said, Uncle George said I should do it.

872
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,000
Oh, okay, yeah.

873
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,000
There's a lot of correlation between that because

874
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,000
he was, John Lennon was out of the

875
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,000
movement. He was getting ready to get out.

876
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,000
He was no use

877
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,000
to them anymore. And what better way,

878
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,000
it's better to burn out than fade away, right?

879
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,000
Yeah, that's the worst thing.

880
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,000
He lives in infamy now.

881
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,000
Yeah, well here's the thing.

882
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,000
He's adored. There's a place in Central

883
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,000
Park. Dedicated to the

884
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,000
no, the thing on the ground, whatever the

885
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000
fuck it is. Imagine something.

886
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,000
Dakota.

887
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,000
Yeah, fuck John Lennon anyway.

888
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,000
He beat his first girlfriend.

889
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,000
There's wife Cynthia. Punched the shit out of

890
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,000
that bitch. I think he tried to run

891
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,000
her over once. Well, allegedly.

892
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,000
Allegedly. Thank you, Larry.

893
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,000
But I mean, who's going to come after us?

894
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,000
There's some water right there.

895
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,000
I know, I see you're so fucking high.

896
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,000
So all these

897
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,000
guys have handlers.

898
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000
And so you got to think if fucking

899
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,000
Frank Zappa's wife's dad

900
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,000
was in some kind of fucking

901
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,000
Gales Apple. Yeah, then fucking

902
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000
she must be his handler.

903
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,000
Not at all. She could be a sex

904
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,000
kitten. Yeah, but that's how they,

905
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000
you know, that's part of the deal. You'll have to

906
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000
fuck these dirt bags also

907
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,000
so they could fully believe the scam.

908
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,000
Well, look at Courtney Love. Courtney Love brought heroin

909
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000
into Seattle. She was fucking Kurt Cobain's

910
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000
handler. No, she brought heroin

911
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,000
into Seattle.

912
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000
Her dad was a high asset

913
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,000
for the CIA and used her

914
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,000
for

915
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,000
very nefarious things

916
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,000
to sway people.

917
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000
And it's well documented.

918
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000
Well. Is that thing still rolling or not?

919
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,000
Yeah.

920
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,000
It's rolling, son.

921
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,000
I mean,

922
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,000
Jesus.

923
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,000
Sorry, man.

924
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,000
Grateful dad.

925
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,000
I mean,

926
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,000
the funny thing, okay, so

927
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000
here's the thing, heavy metal music,

928
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,000
these guys came in, they made great music, everybody

929
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,000
fucking loved it. They signed

930
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000
outrageous contracts.

931
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,000
Outrageous contracts.

932
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,000
Here's another. Thank you.

933
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000
And they were getting paid

934
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,000
fucking

935
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,000
the amounts of money that these guys

936
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,000
were being paid was crazy.

937
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000
So then Grunge comes in

938
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,000
and then what happens is

939
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,000
well, they get these all

940
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,000
sad, sad guys. They totally

941
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,000
change the dynamic of music.

942
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,000
What's that? It didn't lower the money.

943
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,000
No, no, they changed the dynamic

944
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000
of the music. But no, here's the deal.

945
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,000
They did lower the money. These guys

946
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,000
were junkies and they

947
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,000
all got paid. Okay. You know what I mean?

948
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,000
They all got paid nothing

949
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,000
barely. They scored

950
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,000
the fuck out of them. They drug

951
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,000
the fuck up of them. You know?

952
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,000
I mean, a lot of those people are not alive

953
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,000
still. Well, once you're dead,

954
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,000
you're not alive

955
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,000
still. Well, you know what I mean? Those people are dead.

956
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,000
Sorry. Yeah.

957
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,000
To this day, I will put you in a chokehold right now.

958
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,000
Maybe you should

959
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,000
maybe we should do an episode

960
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,000
of you and I do a crowd like a half or

961
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,000
like an hour

962
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,000
and just fighting. I don't know if

963
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000
an hour will translate

964
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,000
and just sound. Yeah, well, I mean just beating your

965
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,000
old ass up. Old gay ass up.

966
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000
I don't know if it'll fucking happen. I don't know

967
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,000
if it'll happen like that.

968
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,000
Dude, it was your fucking

969
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,000
haircut that made us gay. It's not my hair cut.

970
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,000
I don't care about my hair.

971
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,000
Well. You know?

972
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,000
It's not like I have a weird gay haircut.

973
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,000
I just took my hat off and that's what

974
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,000
it looked like and you insinuated

975
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,000
actually, she insinuated. It was funny

976
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,000
that you and I are funuks which is hilarious.

977
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:34,000
Yeah.

978
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,000
And you know what? Tell me Larry.

979
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,000
It's because you were paying for it.

980
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,000
She thought I was the man.

981
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,000
Yeah.

982
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000
You pay for it, I said.

983
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000
You pay for it.

984
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,000
No, you didn't say that at all. You just said

985
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,000
something completely different earlier.

986
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,000
No, I said something like

987
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,000
unless he's paying for it. That thing's cashed.

988
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,000
Well here.

989
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,000
We'll pack it up again. Fuck you man.

990
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,000
Don't drop it.

991
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000
I'm not going to drop it.

992
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,000
So anyways.

993
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,000
We got some good moves

994
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,000
and I'm going to be fucking pumped up

995
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000
and I already been doing all my prison yard

996
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,000
fucking exercise. Do you think you could over

997
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,000
take the guys in flight 11?

998
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,000
Yeah, I think I could have.

999
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,000
I'm asking you. Yes, you think you could have?

1000
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,000
Two guys with box cutters.

1001
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,000
Does Larry Jones think that he could take out

1002
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,000
the... Yeah.

1003
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,000
Especially... If you had two A-rays...

1004
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,000
Okay, listen.

1005
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,000
Especially back then.

1006
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,000
If you're in first class, the A-Rabs

1007
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,000
come busting through the fucker.

1008
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,000
Whatever they got.

1009
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,000
Curveswords.

1010
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,000
Curveswords make it more hilarious.

1011
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000
Yeah.

1012
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,000
And then they come and Larry Jones. And Curls and Curls choose.

1013
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,000
Two of them, but you're in an aisle.

1014
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,000
So it's one in front of the other.

1015
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,000
He comes out and it was you, the box cutter.

1016
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,000
Now with the box cutter,

1017
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,000
you can only probably go, you know,

1018
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,000
use that break off. Yeah, it's nothing.

1019
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,000
So you could probably do two or three,

1020
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,000
but that's gonna slash ya.

1021
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,000
If he gets any longer, it's gonna break.

1022
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,000
Yeah, you know what I mean?

1023
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,000
So, can Larry Jones deter

1024
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,000
two Saudi Arabian

1025
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,000
hijackers on flight 11

1026
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,000
going into the World Trade Center?

1027
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,000
I think so.

1028
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000
Because... Be more confident, bitch.

1029
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,000
Here's what I would do. I know so.

1030
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,000
Me too. Okay, what would you do first?

1031
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,000
Here's what. I don't want to say it.

1032
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,000
I don't want to sound like a cocky jackoff.

1033
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,000
Well, I mean, too late for that.

1034
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000
First thing I would do...

1035
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000
Is blow them.

1036
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,000
Yeah, and then after that,

1037
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,000
I would fucking... Give him a massage.

1038
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,000
I'd grab that bitch by his...

1039
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,000
First I'd fucking put his knee out. Risk control.

1040
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,000
I'd grab his wrist with the fucking box cutter,

1041
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,000
take his knee out, and at the same time,

1042
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,000
I'd kick him... Knee out.

1043
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,000
Arm stretch.

1044
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,000
Hammer fist. Yeah, but no.

1045
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,000
I'm going to kick him backwards.

1046
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,000
You're in an aisle.

1047
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,000
I'm going to kick him backwards into his friend that's behind him.

1048
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,000
Okay, I like that. That's a good move.

1049
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,000
So you deter, you grab the wrist,

1050
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,000
deter the fucking knife.

1051
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,000
Yeah, and break the knee, and then fucking...

1052
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,000
Oh, break the knee. Yeah, first I go out the knee.

1053
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,000
But if you break the knee, he's going to drop, so you can't push him back.

1054
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,000
Well, you had to do it.

1055
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,000
So then you got to kick him. Yeah, you got to kick him in the chest.

1056
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,000
Oh, actually, you should do nuts, then chest.

1057
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,000
Yeah.

1058
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,000
Because then you go, uh, then, whap!

1059
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,000
When he bends over, you can go get him.

1060
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,000
Okay, so then now what would you do?

1061
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,000
And then, you know, hammer fist...

1062
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,000
69th.

1063
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,000
Give that fucker a couple of hammer fists

1064
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,000
and the fucking neck and paralyze him.

1065
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,000
And then...

1066
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,000
He's on the ground. How are you going to get to the back of his neck?

1067
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000
The next guy, if he doesn't go down all the way.

1068
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000
Other than that...

1069
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,000
Yeah, you don't like that at all.

1070
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,000
You got to go down all the way.

1071
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,000
Yeah.

1072
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,000
Exactly.

1073
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,000
I mean, Larry, I don't know what this is.

1074
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,000
That's why this lady thought we were fucking fruits.

1075
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,000
Because of him.

1076
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,000
I didn't say any of this stuff.

1077
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,000
I just exude fruitness.

1078
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,000
She just knows what you're thinking.

1079
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,000
She just knows what you're thinking.

1080
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,000
That's hard of being a fucking G.

1081
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,000
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

1082
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,000
That's why she was throwing up.

1083
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,000
She's a karate master. She's telling gayness.

1084
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,000
She's like, oh boy, this guy really goes...

1085
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,000
She's like, these motherfuckers...

1086
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,000
Kiss his dad.

1087
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,000
The hell's going on?

1088
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000
He was just stinking like a weed farm.

1089
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,000
And she was reading your mind.

1090
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,000
She thought these guys are gay.

1091
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,000
If she was reading my mind, she would have kicked us both in the face.

1092
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,000
I know.

1093
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,000
I know.

1094
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,000
I feel bad for her.

1095
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,000
I feel bad for her.

1096
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,000
Which is funny.

1097
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,000
No, I don't feel bad for her.

1098
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,000
I feel cool.

1099
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,000
No, I'm just saying, I feel bad for her for my thoughts.

1100
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,000
Oh yeah, well you should feel bad for yourself

1101
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,000
because she's not going to go to help

1102
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,000
for what you're thinking.

1103
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,000
You are.

1104
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,000
You follow.

1105
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,000
Yeah, I mean, they're my thoughts.

1106
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,000
I mean, I understand that. That's how that works, Larry.

1107
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,000
That's how that works.

1108
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,000
Yeah, thanks for telling me.

1109
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000
You're welcome.

1110
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,000
I'm only responsible for my shit.

1111
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,000
Thank you very much.

1112
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,000
I know what things I would do to her.

1113
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,000
That's what I meant, Larry.

1114
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,000
You totally misconstrued that.

1115
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,000
I see.

1116
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,000
I mean, listen.

1117
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,000
It's so funny how you just walk in

1118
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,000
and I mean, if that chick was just sitting there

1119
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,000
in like a sweatshirt

1120
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,000
and not in a fucking karate outfit,

1121
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,000
you'd be like, ah, she's a normal chick.

1122
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,000
Like remember when she was

1123
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,000
because we were doing these like

1124
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,000
so you do a choke,

1125
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,000
you break out of it,

1126
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,000
you get in the chest elbow to the side of the head

1127
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,000
to the temple.

1128
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000
And she knows, and we learned that on the first two days,

1129
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,000
she knows all that shit by heart for years.

1130
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,000
But do you know what she complained about?

1131
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,000
Remember, she's like, don't break my nail.

1132
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,000
Remember when she said,

1133
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,000
but she was fighting another chick.

1134
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,000
Like there were two chicks that were like sparring with each other.

1135
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,000
Don't fuck up my nails.

1136
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,000
Yeah, she said because they cost $75.

1137
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,000
It's like, Jesus, man,

1138
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,000
this chick could really just rip your fucking

1139
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,000
tongue out of your face.

1140
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,000
She's worried about nails.

1141
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,000
Yeah.

1142
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000
She'll be able to chill elbow here in the fucking temple.

1143
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,000
Yeah.

1144
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,000
Every other thing except her fists.

1145
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,000
Which sounds like a good porno name.

1146
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,000
Everything except her fists.

1147
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,000
Yeah.

1148
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,000
Working your meat over with her elbow.

1149
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,000
I don't know.

1150
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,000
What do you mean you don't know?

1151
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,000
This is the porno I'm coming up with.

1152
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,000
I'm not saying this is going to happen.

1153
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,000
I'm not going to be in that one.

1154
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,000
I'm not making movies, but I'm not going to be in that one.

1155
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,000
I'll be behind the camera.

1156
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000
Oh, you just want to watch it?

1157
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,000
That's what you're, when you're old age,

1158
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,000
you just want to purve a, the purve?

1159
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,000
Purve air, the surveyor.

1160
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,000
That's all right though.

1161
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,000
But it's very fun.

1162
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,000
It's very silly that I would suggest

1163
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,000
to anyone, hook up with your friend

1164
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,000
and go do some fucking

1165
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,000
martial arts.

1166
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,000
Because there's nothing funnier

1167
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,000
than me kicking Larry

1168
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,000
in the chest.

1169
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,000
Well, he's got a pad on.

1170
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,000
And I mean full on kick and full on knee.

1171
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,000
And then he tells me to take it,

1172
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,000
and he tells me to take it

1173
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000
25%.

1174
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,000
Yeah, because you're going too hard.

1175
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,000
We're friends. We do a podcast together.

1176
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,000
I'm not your enemy.

1177
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,000
The fucking, the sensei had to tell you.

1178
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,000
He's going full on kick and I'm,

1179
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,000
he tells me. No, because

1180
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,000
you have pads on.

1181
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,000
You grabbed me with your bare hand.

1182
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,000
And he had to fucking,

1183
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,000
and Sonny was even like,

1184
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,000
hey, don't grab him so hard.

1185
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,000
I'm like, this is my friend.

1186
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,000
I brought him here.

1187
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,000
And he's trying to choke me.

1188
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000
Then he understood. Yeah.

1189
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,000
I got to go do my DUI assessment.

1190
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,000
I'm going to have finger fucking,

1191
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,000
what do you call it? This kid was cool.

1192
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,000
He showed us the, you know,

1193
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,000
spots to hit people for the paralyzing

1194
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,000
shot and then fucking.

1195
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,000
You're a pressure point.

1196
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,000
Yeah. And then he was like, you know,

1197
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,000
but before you do one of these, you know,

1198
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000
make sure you know where the door is.

1199
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,000
Yeah.

1200
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,000
You know, you might have to get out of there.

1201
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,000
After, because he's a mean son of a bitch,

1202
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,000
he says.

1203
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,000
And he likes to elbow people on the back

1204
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,000
of the head. Yeah.

1205
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000
Where the spinal cord connects to the brain,

1206
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,000
which

1207
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,000
is a bad thing.

1208
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,000
You know what? You might be eating out of a tube

1209
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,000
or just in a wooden box.

1210
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,000
Definitely.

1211
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,000
This kid, I definitely, you know,

1212
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,000
he would be asleep or two.

1213
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,000
Somebody would say some shit to his girlfriend

1214
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,000
at the bar or something

1215
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,000
or fuck with him.

1216
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,000
You know, say some shit to his girlfriend.

1217
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,000
You have to tell me Larry, the guy kicked me in the stomach

1218
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,000
three or four times.

1219
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,000
He had a fucking very hard punch

1220
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,000
and a very, you know, I held the pad a couple

1221
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,000
of times and it was amazingly hard to.

1222
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,000
I was like, holy fuck.

1223
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,000
It actually kind of hurt through the pad.

1224
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,000
Nah.

1225
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,000
And the best is we did this, we did this training

1226
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,000
where we push each other up against the wall

1227
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,000
and choke them and then you break out of the choke.

1228
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,000
So we run and slam you into the wall

1229
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,000
with the choke

1230
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,000
and then you break out of it and fucking

1231
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,000
hammer the guy in the fucking head.

1232
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,000
Nuts.

1233
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,000
You always work the nuts. That's what they tell you.

1234
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,000
It's the massage. Do you think they have any fucking rules?

1235
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,000
No. I don't know if it's the massage.

1236
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,000
That's who did this shit.

1237
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,000
That's what

1238
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,000
that's what this fight is.

1239
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,000
That Krav Maga is

1240
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,000
mainly used by the fucking IDF.

1241
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,000
I know it's all different countries

1242
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,000
and shit. No, it's Israel.

1243
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,000
This is where it started. No, but I know all these different martial arts

1244
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000
are different countries. I don't know what the fuck

1245
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000
is from where. Krav Maga is to

1246
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,000
debilitate,

1247
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:48,000
destroy your enemy

1248
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,000
if they attack you and they come at you.

1249
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,000
If you're one on one with the person

1250
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,000
and they come at you, Krav Maga

1251
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,000
is to dismantle your enemy.

1252
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000
In the most

1253
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,000
crudest way

1254
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,000
nuts, he told us are the greatest thing to work.

1255
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,000
Kicks to the nuts, kneaded in the nuts,

1256
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,000
rip them out

1257
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,000
if you had to, he told us.

1258
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,000
If you want to put a finger in an eye,

1259
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,000
do it.

1260
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,000
Yeah, it's pretty fucking crazy.

1261
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,000
It's not like the honorable karate way.

1262
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,000
How is karate honorable?

1263
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,000
Well, you know, they're very

1264
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,000
very honorable.

1265
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,000
Oh, they're honorable.

1266
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,000
Now you're using an Asian voice. Yeah.

1267
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,000
Took long enough. Listen, we're old.

1268
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,000
We don't need honorable. We just want to hurt people

1269
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,000
if they attack us. I don't want to hurt people.

1270
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,000
If they attack us, I say.

1271
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,000
If they attack us, that's it.

1272
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,000
But that's dumb. You shouldn't say that because...

1273
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,000
Yes, because if somebody attacks me...

1274
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,000
If somebody tries to punch me...

1275
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,000
If somebody tries to punch me... You're inviting people

1276
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,000
to attack you on a fucking podcast.

1277
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,000
I want you to attack me.

1278
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,000
I'm going to work you over like yesterday.

1279
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,000
It's a lot of me. Okay.

1280
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,000
But...

1281
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,000
I'm not encouraging people to attack needles.

1282
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,000
How am I doing that? We got like four listeners.

1283
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,000
I don't know.

1284
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,000
Good thing they live far away.

1285
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,000
Or at least hope they do.

1286
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,000
I'll tell them where you live. Fuck you, man.

1287
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,000
69, 69 humpback lane.

1288
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,000
Yeah, okay. In any ways,

1289
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,000
um...

1290
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,000
What else you got besides that, motherfucker?

1291
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,000
Just ask me what else I got.

1292
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,000
You can't come up with anything.

1293
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,000
No, you're so smart. Let's hear it.

1294
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,000
Oh, yeah. See, I put it back on you and then you may...

1295
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,000
And then you say something rude to me.

1296
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,000
Fuck you. You're so smart.

1297
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,000
You know what I mean? I'm so smart. I'm just talking about things.

1298
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000
I'm not doing fucking equations and shit.

1299
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,000
Why not? You're so smart.

1300
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,000
That was like the worst thing you could have done.

1301
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,000
I mean, man, we take two Crivin McGaw classes

1302
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,000
and you want to fight now all the time?

1303
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:48,000
You did elbow me in front of Mary the other day in the kitchen.

1304
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,000
When I was trying to... We were going through a demonstration

1305
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,000
and Larry just got all riled up in front of Mary.

1306
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,000
Oh, man. He's like, man...

1307
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,000
I didn't mean it. What do you mean you didn't mean it?

1308
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000
You totally meant it. You elbowed me.

1309
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,000
I did not. You elbowed me where I could get fucking paralyzed.

1310
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,000
No way.

1311
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,000
Yes, you did. That's why you're laughing.

1312
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,000
You're like, I didn't mean to.

1313
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,000
Jesus, man. I really can't take you anywhere

1314
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,000
because now you're using your shit on me.

1315
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,000
No, I'll be okay. I'll be okay.

1316
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,000
I hope so.

1317
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,000
I'm excited to fucking get more further into it.

1318
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,000
Yeah.

1319
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,000
I do like it.

1320
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,000
Anything... Listen, either you're fucking creating...

1321
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,000
See, I didn't know what the origins of it or where it came from.

1322
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,000
Yeah, it's the idea if it's a fucking massage.

1323
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,000
So it's not that old.

1324
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,000
It's got to be some kind of old technique that's...

1325
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,000
No, it's multiple techniques in a drawing.

1326
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,000
Put together.

1327
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,000
Yeah, it's a different technique.

1328
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,000
It's multiple techniques that are combined into one.

1329
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,000
Put together.

1330
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,000
And then using pressure points and fucking

1331
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,000
shit that's going to hurt you

1332
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,000
or kill you.

1333
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,000
You know what I mean? Like, we were watching those videos

1334
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,000
where they were getting attacked by three people.

1335
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,000
Yeah.

1336
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,000
I mean, I don't know, you know, that one guy might have been able to do it,

1337
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,000
but there's videos of this shit.

1338
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,000
It's crazy.

1339
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,000
Maybe these instructors at the place could do it.

1340
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,000
The funny thing is, it's like, okay, you box.

1341
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,000
You use your hands.

1342
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,000
You know, you do karate.

1343
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,000
You do that shit.

1344
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,000
But with like, Krav Maga, it's all with that.

1345
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,000
It's kicks, punches.

1346
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,000
But then you want Aigau Jean,

1347
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,000
which he told us is okay.

1348
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,000
Ball grabbing and ripping out is okay.

1349
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,000
He said, fucking, kick him in the asshole

1350
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,000
at one point.

1351
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,000
But he did also say, you know, he didn't say like...

1352
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,000
Choking kill?

1353
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,000
He didn't say like this was going to be okay with the law.

1354
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,000
Well, I mean, he's definitely not a cop.

1355
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,000
No.

1356
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,000
I mean, he's a masod probably.

1357
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,000
It's okay with him. That's what he means.

1358
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,000
Well, I mean, you got to get the job done and defend yourself.

1359
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,000
That's what it boils down to.

1360
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,000
If you feel threatened and somebody's coming after you,

1361
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,000
I really don't fucking...

1362
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,000
First of all, somebody's coming in.

1363
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,000
You know, we're not...

1364
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,000
I'm not a bar fly. I don't ever go to the bar.

1365
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,000
Rarely to go see a band or something.

1366
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,000
And that's when usually shit happens.

1367
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,000
A drunk guy and a drunk guy get into a fight.

1368
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,000
Yeah.

1369
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,000
Oh, of course.

1370
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,000
And it's always over who knows what.

1371
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,000
No, it's who knows what it's over.

1372
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,000
You'll never... You bumped into him.

1373
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,000
He spilled a drink. You looked at his girl too long.

1374
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,000
You talked to somebody he knows, you know, whatever.

1375
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,000
Somebody that you know said something fucked up to one of his friends.

1376
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,000
All it is though is that when I look at somebody

1377
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,000
and they look at me now, I have a lot more points

1378
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,000
to work with than just my brain.

1379
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,000
Right.

1380
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,000
I always try to deter the situation.

1381
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,000
Of course.

1382
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,000
I don't know if I've ever seen anybody ever.

1383
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,000
But if somebody hits me in the head,

1384
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,000
now...

1385
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,000
You have to.

1386
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,000
You have to what?

1387
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,000
You have to fight then, man.

1388
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,000
Well, yeah. Well, I have to stop them from hitting me again.

1389
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,000
That's what I have to do.

1390
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,000
I'm not looking to fight.

1391
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,000
I'm looking to isolate this person and neutralize him.

1392
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,000
Exactly.

1393
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,000
And get him on the ground.

1394
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,000
Because what do they always teach us at the end of...

1395
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,000
I'm just using the old 1800s terminology.

1396
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,000
Push him away.

1397
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,000
You know what I mean?

1398
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,000
So if you knee him in the face and kick him in the groin,

1399
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,000
you fucking...

1400
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,000
Paralyze him. You still push him away.

1401
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,000
Yeah, you push him away and then you give yourself space

1402
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,000
if anybody else comes at you.

1403
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,000
That's what it is.

1404
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,000
Or find the exit.

1405
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,000
Which I'm a huge fan of.

1406
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,000
Yeah.

1407
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,000
But now cameras and shit, they get your license plate.

1408
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,000
But if you're not the first person to attack, then you're fine.

1409
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,000
That's just how the law goes.

1410
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,000
Yeah.

1411
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,000
What if you suspect someone's going to attack though?

1412
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,000
Huh? You're a mind reader now?

1413
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,000
I guess it's got to be under attack only.

1414
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,000
Yeah, Duras.

1415
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,000
What if they're fucking coming swinging and punching at you?

1416
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,000
That's called an attack, Larry.

1417
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,000
I mean, what else do you need them to do

1418
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,000
shit and piss on you?

1419
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,000
You know.

1420
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,000
No, I don't know because I don't know what you just said.

1421
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,000
You said some guy comes at you swinging and punching.

1422
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,000
That's an attack.

1423
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,000
So then you can do...

1424
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,000
Mary better not be smoking on my heaters.

1425
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,000
I know that's what she's doing.

1426
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,000
They're fucking gone, man.

1427
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,000
So then that's what they...

1428
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,000
Then it's open season.

1429
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,000
You can just break his legs and do all that good shit then.

1430
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,000
Gouches eyes out.

1431
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,000
If you don't throw the first punch and somebody attacks you,

1432
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,000
you have to defend yourself.

1433
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,000
You saw hammer fists and fucking neck punches and...

1434
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:18,000
Seat belt.

1435
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,000
Remember the seat belt?

1436
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,000
Lock the arm up, put the hand behind the neck,

1437
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,000
pull the neck forward to your knees.

1438
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:26,000
Smashes face.

1439
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,000
Two knees to the face and then elbow to the ear.

1440
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,000
Behind the hammer.

1441
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,000
And that's it, baby.

1442
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,000
And then a hammer on the way down to the back of the neck.

1443
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,000
Listen, we're not fighters.

1444
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,000
We had two classes in Krav Maga.

1445
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,000
But at the same time, it's a team...

1446
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,000
It's hilarious.

1447
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,000
It's a team building experience.

1448
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,000
We should probably claim this on our taxes.

1449
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,000
See, you know how we have an LLC?

1450
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,000
There you go.

1451
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,000
You put it on your taxes because I don't need to...

1452
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,000
I don't need to...

1453
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,000
You don't have a job.

1454
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,000
I mean, you're a sugar baby summer.

1455
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,000
Soon it's gonna be sugar baby fall.

1456
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,000
Whatever.

1457
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,000
Yeah, I mean, what do you put on your W-2?

1458
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,000
Nothing.

1459
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,000
You have no income.

1460
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,000
Seriously, it says zero on it.

1461
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,000
Dude, you should try to claim your weed fucking.

1462
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,000
I don't do anything like that.

1463
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,000
You get receipts every time you buy weed.

1464
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,000
Yeah.

1465
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,000
You get receipts for this.

1466
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,000
Can you sign your name?

1467
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,000
We're not doing that, man.

1468
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,000
You're not doing that because you're...

1469
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,000
I mean, what else are you doing?

1470
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,000
No.

1471
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,000
Just sitting around playing guitar.

1472
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,000
No, I just don't need them start looking into my shit

1473
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,000
just because we claim some dumb thing.

1474
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,000
And then all of a sudden, they want to start

1475
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,000
looking at the inner workings of my shit.

1476
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,000
Larry, you don't have a job.

1477
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,000
You don't claim taxes.

1478
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,000
What are they gonna look into?

1479
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,000
That old stoner that smokes weed

1480
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,000
and plays guitar and

1481
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,000
is trying to fucking do Krav Maga.

1482
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,000
I mean, this guy is

1483
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,000
the least threat we know.

1484
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,000
That's exactly

1485
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,000
the kind of person they want to fucking come after, bro.

1486
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,000
That's what you want to sleep ourselves.

1487
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,000
That's exactly

1488
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,000
what you're talking about right there.

1489
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,000
That's exactly what they fucking...

1490
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,000
What?

1491
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,000
Well, come after. Someone like me.

1492
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,000
Just because, you know.

1493
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,000
Well, it's usually

1494
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,000
you have to sort of give them some red flag.

1495
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,000
I mean, you'd have something to say to them.

1496
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,000
Yeah, the first red flag

1497
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,000
is trying to claim Krav Maga

1498
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,000
on your taxes.

1499
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,000
Fucking more.

1500
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,000
That would be great.

1501
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,000
I'm definitely gonna do that.

1502
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,000
That's why he said, that's why he said

1503
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,000
do it on your taxes.

1504
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,000
First of all, it's not even your real name.

1505
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,000
I mean, I'm gonna claim Larry Jones.

1506
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,000
Good luck tracking him down.

1507
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,000
Okay, whatever.

1508
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,000
He's a Caribbean.

1509
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,000
I mean, I could just point him to you,

1510
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,000
but then we wouldn't have a show anymore.

1511
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,000
Yeah, okay. Thanks, pal.

1512
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,000
You're welcome, Larry.

1513
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000
What a great guy.

1514
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,000
You want to do your head list? Do you still got it or no?

1515
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,000
Um...

1516
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,000
Yeah.

1517
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,000
I got it.

1518
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,000
All right.

1519
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,000
First of all,

1520
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,000
I wanted to see

1521
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,000
at

1522
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,000
Tom's

1523
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,000
free clinic. Oh, man.

1524
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:22,000
They have, they had

1525
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,000
a special going on.

1526
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,000
You couldn't just say the names first, could you?

1527
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,000
Okay, I'll say the names.

1528
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,000
No way, now you're in a Tom's ad.

1529
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,000
So, I mean, don't disparage Tom.

1530
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,000
And, uh...

1531
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,000
I forgot what it was, man.

1532
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,000
I'm so stuck with it.

1533
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,000
The vaccines?

1534
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,000
Yes.

1535
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,000
That's what I was.

1536
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,000
I knew it was something.

1537
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,000
Because they wanted me to talk about this

1538
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,000
very important thing. Who wanted you to talk about this?

1539
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,000
Tom's.

1540
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,000
Tom's free clinic. They said,

1541
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,000
if you want me to keep paying for the studio time

1542
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,000
for this stupid fucking podcast, Larry,

1543
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,000
and see what I tell you.

1544
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,000
And so here's, you know...

1545
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,000
You totally conformed to Tom.

1546
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,000
Oh, I mean, you want to keep the, uh...

1547
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,000
show going.

1548
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,000
You've got to get the steel real hot to make it bend, right?

1549
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:12,000
He doesn't make us...

1550
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:14,000
This is the only thing he does.

1551
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,000
He never makes us alter what we say.

1552
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:18,000
Do you think he's thermite?

1553
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,000
Tom has no input on our content whatsoever.

1554
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:22,000
Did Tom sell thermite?

1555
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,000
I don't know.

1556
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,000
Okay, well, maybe we should find that out.

1557
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,000
Keep going.

1558
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,000
Anyways, at Tom's, they have a...

1559
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,000
There's a...

1560
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,000
You could get a free...

1561
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,000
Vaccine?

1562
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,000
Special vaccine.

1563
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,000
The vaccine special.

1564
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,000
And it's a vaccine special.

1565
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,000
And it's made by Tom's.

1566
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,000
And, uh...

1567
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,000
In the auto shop, the veterinarian or the human part?

1568
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,000
Well...

1569
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,000
Wait, what?

1570
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,000
Oh, where did they make the vaccines?

1571
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:56,000
In the auto shop for the veterinarian or the human part?

1572
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,000
They, uh...

1573
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,000
Coordined off a little section in the garage

1574
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,000
and they swept it up and cleaned it really good.

1575
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,000
Yeah, well, they moved the tire machine...

1576
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,000
That's not that much room over there.

1577
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,000
They moved the tire machine a little bit.

1578
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:10,000
I mean, where did they get to move the parts cleaner?

1579
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,000
That's Tom's fucking worries.

1580
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,000
I don't know.

1581
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,000
It's really not. If he's making vaccines,

1582
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,000
then Tom should be able to have a little bit more cleanliness.

1583
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,000
I'm sure Tom's going to pass

1584
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,000
all the stringent...

1585
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:24,000
FDA regulations.

1586
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,000
Yeah, all the regulations, all the testing.

1587
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,000
Well, I dropped off the first batch.

1588
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,000
It was 25 pallets of mountain water.

1589
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,000
And then Tom said he was going to put

1590
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:34,000
a little yellow dye in them

1591
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,000
and then we were just going to make 50 bucks a pop.

1592
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,000
I said,

1593
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,000
Tom, that's illegal.

1594
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,000
I don't think Tom fucking rolls like that.

1595
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:44,000
He's a straight-up fucking company.

1596
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,000
That was a fictitious scenario I made up.

1597
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,000
He doesn't lead anybody astray

1598
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,000
in the doctor's office

1599
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,000
or in the automotive department.

1600
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,000
Also...

1601
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,000
What?

1602
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:58,000
You know what Tom said?

1603
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,000
What?

1604
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,000
You know what Tom's selling?

1605
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,000
N95 masks.

1606
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,000
Oh, yeah.

1607
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,000
They're N93, but don't worry.

1608
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,000
They're just as good.

1609
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:12,000
No, 95.

1610
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,000
Because the higher numbers, the higher, so it makes you feel safer.

1611
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,000
Mm-mm.

1612
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,000
All right, no shirt, Nick.

1613
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,000
Fuck, I almost fell.

1614
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,000
Fuck.

1615
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:24,000
No shirt, Nick, man.

1616
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,000
What's up?

1617
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:28,000
Matt Ross.

1618
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:30,000
No filter, Frank.

1619
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,000
Hascola, Zodiac.

1620
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:34,000
Chrissy,

1621
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,000
Becky, Tiffany,

1622
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,000
Luann,

1623
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:40,000
Sherry,

1624
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,000
Jay, Clara,

1625
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,000
Hela, Helena,

1626
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,000
Harmony,

1627
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,000
of course, Mary,

1628
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,000
and only fans, girls, of course,

1629
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:52,000
and I already talked about that.

1630
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,000
You've got a rash on your little pussy cat.

1631
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,000
Call Tom's free clinic.

1632
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:58,000
Yeah,

1633
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:00,000
so we already mentioned Tom's.

1634
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:02,000
I know, but I had to come over to the jingle.

1635
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,000
I would, we would wait.

1636
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,000
I guess that is part of the deal.

1637
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:08,000
That is the only thing Tom's makes us do ever.

1638
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:10,000
We never...

1639
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,000
That's what we're contractually obligated to do.

1640
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,000
But we never...

1641
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,000
Jingle every time.

1642
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,000
That's it, but we never have to, you know,

1643
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,000
like if we want to talk about something,

1644
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,000
even if it's against, say,

1645
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,000
God's code?

1646
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:26,000
No, I never

1647
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:28,000
talk about anything like that, man.

1648
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,000
No, you know, even if it's

1649
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:32,000
against, say, the

1650
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,000
abortion thing

1651
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:36,000
or the car...

1652
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,000
car fixing scams or anything like that,

1653
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:40,000
we can talk about anything like that.

1654
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:42,000
Any of the businesses that Tom's

1655
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,000
is affiliated with,

1656
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,000
if we, you know,

1657
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,000
find a scandal, we're still going to talk about it.

1658
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,000
There's a scandal of Bruna Tom's?

1659
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:52,000
No, I'm saying if there was...

1660
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,000
I mean, I hope they don't mix

1661
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,000
the puppies and the fetuses together.

1662
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,000
You know, if there was a car,

1663
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,000
if there was a big car scandal going on right now,

1664
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,000
we would report that.

1665
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:04,000
We could always do Tom's 3 clinic,

1666
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,000
no fetus will beat us.

1667
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,000
That's horrible.

1668
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,000
That's why you're fucking sick.

1669
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,000
I feel fine.

1670
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,000
Yeah.

1671
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,000
I'm gonna wrap this bitch up.

1672
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,000
Alright.

1673
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,000
Thanks for tuning in.

1674
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,000
Needles, I want to apologize for Needles

1675
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,000
over there. You should apologize

1676
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,000
for elbow me in the fucking back of the neck

1677
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,000
the other day. That's what you apologize for.

1678
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:34,000
Sorry, Needles. In the kitchen in front of

1679
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,000
fucking Mary. Sorry, brother.

1680
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,000
I won't do that again.

1681
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:40,000
Thanks. I'll go...

1682
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:42,000
25%

1683
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,000
Yeah.

1684
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:46,000
I wasn't like I went full

1685
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,000
ass though. Dude, you elbowed

1686
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,000
me in the back of the neck.

1687
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:52,000
50%

1688
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:54,000
Not even. Bullshit, I said

1689
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:56,000
ow, Larry. You're like, oh, I'm sorry

1690
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,000
as soon as you did it.

1691
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,000
Shit, man.

1692
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,000
Oh, you don't realize your old man strength.

1693
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,000
Yeah. You know, that's why they don't allow

1694
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,000
you around the playground. Just throwing

1695
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:08,000
children around.

1696
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,000
Ah, man. That's your kink.

1697
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,000
I don't want to touch him. I just want to throw him around.

1698
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:14,000
Anyways,

1699
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:16,000
Needles is still a pervert and

1700
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,000
have a great night.

1701
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:20,000
That's your shape. Thank you for your

1702
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,000
okay. It's not a legend.

1703
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:24,000
It's fact. That's your shape.

1704
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:26,000
He's so used to be

1705
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,000
he's so used to being in court.

1706
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,000
Talk to my attorney. Exactly.

1707
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,000
I want to thank everybody for tuning in

1708
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:36,000
and to have a great fucking day

1709
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,000
and I'm Larry. And I'm Needles. Peace.

1710
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:44,000
Love you, Larry.

