time to get ready for the Larry Needles show
okay everybody welcome to Larry Needles show I'm Larry and I'm Needles how the
fuck are you doing yeah I'm doing good how are you doing today Larry pretty good
you know what it's crazy it's fucking not as nice out as it should be usually
fucking yeah August is a very hot month everywhere else is having a heat wave
and it's been raining like a bitch outside yeah stupid mother nature I don't
say that man I could say stupid mother nature look what it did to those people
in Hawaii now that wildfire just came out of nowhere I don't I don't believe
those were wildfires why is that I believe those were directed energy
weapons man really EWs yes okay you know they have they have ironically a
directed energy weapon military type base did I go into something that you
were gonna talk about on the oh man on the actual island where the fires are and
it's funny because it's the same thing that happened in California you know all
these houses burned down and they did it in prime areas man none of the trees are
gone okay well I saw a video of it and there's trees gone now don't say none of
the trees are gone well most of the trees are still there it's it's a lot of
trees are there you know like the cars what happened to the cars you know what
that they got burnt on the highway but here's the thing man they have a they
have a demo film from about nine years ago where they show them doing the direct
energy weapons to a chili or it was a chili no to a car no just a demo tape
put out by whoever no there's a fucking there's actual video of supposedly a
DW well yeah well the problem with the DW is what's the problem with it well the
good thing for them but the problem for the people are using it on is it travels
at the fucking speed of light and it's invisible okay I'm gonna add a little
bit to what you're talking about so basically this is Lahaina yeah actually
and there's a sick-ass bar in California called Lahaina on PB awesome it's right on
the beach man we don't care about that what the hell are you doing
sensory me son of a bitch so these people that lived in Lahaina they're all
like natives right they would not sell black rock wanted in because they were
trying because this is high now you're talking about on the high now actually
the island yeah these people would that is exactly right my friend did you think
I was talking about a bar and talking about the fucking bar yeah cuz black
water wanted to come in and take this bar Larry but anyways you're exactly
right so what better way to do it than destroy it with direct energy weapons
it's a lot easier and cheaper I mean do you think our government purportedly
would perpetrate yes what do you call it um fuck a made-up wildfire oh yeah
without a doubt without a doubt without a doubt it's right in their fucking
trick bag dude it's just very well let's put it it's their MO yeah it this thing
does it with all sorry no go sorry with all the underlying issues of what's
going on here and the people not wanting to sell in the property valleys
Oprah tried to get in there nope Mc Fleetwood had a bar there he lived on
there he lived there and it got burnt down like there's like listen cuz they
need that shit they want that property that's my I mean you coveted property
isn't it close to an air an army base or a base yeah the one that does the direct
energy weapons there's a lot of army I mean there's a lot of army bases yes in
Hawaii there is a multitude of army base but Larry I mean did you just say that
there's a direct energy base right next to the island no right on the same island
on the same I on the same island did it get how did the only other one the only
other one is in in New Mexico well how did it fair another place we tested
nuclear it's fine because that's the place that they're shooting the fucking
weapon from okay now here's the thing you know it could be maybe maybe they're
testing and something went awry you know it was a fuck up maybe they did it on
purpose to get this prime fucking property here's another thing they're
saying here's another thing about this what's this they're saying that they
blocked off the road that gets out of there because there's only one way out
of this little area so the people were driving in circle and the people had
jumped into the water was because they're like what the fuck we can't get out of
here we have to get out of here you could tell by how the cars are stalled on
the highway there was nowhere to go yeah but also your panic going on in
terror I know that I know that but at the same time too when they said the water
was boiling and shit well these there was a guy who said he jumped in the water
the interview yeah yeah a lot of people jumped in the water the water was on fire
right but you want to also place right but you want to know how that happened so
what a first of layer of ash lands on the water and then the second layer ash
compounds on it yeah starts on fire well how about this that crazy really what
happened a layer ash lays on the water another layer ash the ash builds up they
hit it with a fucking direct energy weapon because they said the water was
boiling hot there's no way that the water got boiling hot because it was fire on
top of it I mean that's such bullshit so the me it sounds like bullshit it
doesn't fuck with the smell test man it's you in the smell test I mean I don't
know I don't know what you're smelling sounds like bull's ass yeah I am that
that is what I'm full shit yeah exactly what I'm smelling oh mr. x fucking
agrees with me I'm sure okay well now we're just gonna say no I'm the you and
I in the room and for I'm not saying that this is not plausible but at the
same time I think that you don't shit where you eat you think they're gonna
use a fucking dw on an island that has dw's on it no well they fucking hit
California unless they did somebody's not man it's it's directed energy kid
they could direct it where the satellite they get dude there's no
satellite no it's not no there's no such thing as satellites man satellites are
bullshit all right how do you get satellite radio you don't you go you go
up in the mountains in your satellite radio disappears just like you fucking
self-heaven up in the mountains yes I have and I have satellite radio yes and
I've and it's faded away my dad had it we fucking drove to Colorado California I
had it never had a problem with it once and I drove all over the place with it
did you drive in the mountains yeah Colorado Colorado you're lying I'm not
what the fuck does that mean just cuz I said I did it I'm lying I mean that's
not how this works ass clown Jesus okay so I mean we're the fucking parakeet
okay so how many square miles was destroyed on this line I do you know I
don't know off because I just want to see what the burn radius looks like because
you would be able to tell if they use a direct energy weapon here's gonna have
to have a point where it starts yeah that's gonna be ground zero for this
thing here's a big no they could hit they could hit several targets they get
I understand that but there has to be some high beam heavy-duty microwaves man but
there has to be some sort of defining factor that says that this was this area
that was two foot wide three foot wide by you know I don't know on the on the
foot and the thing I saw okay when they showed the aerial view and they go here
look at the aerial view of before and after I know I'm not saying that it's not
plausible I said that already Larry I'm just saying that there has to be some
signature from a direct energy weapon you can't one of the signatures is things
get pulverized and the other signature is what happened to the cars happens see
the thing is it's weird it's like okay you're on an island okay yeah and it's
just surrounded by all this foliage that it's like I've I don't I don't pay
attention none of that shit burned down but I don't there's I mean I'm assuming
some of the trees and stuff the bigger ones I see not the bird I've seen drone
okay okay I've seen maybe some of the leaves burned off but nothing nothing
burned all the buildings burned yeah yeah okay because they needed that property
I could have burned you know steel beams with that fire if you know what I mean
that's a hot-icot right because it moved quick have you seen the videos yeah yeah
it is crazy from like one like 9-11 man direct energy weapon okay same fucking
thing well that's I mean you have to hit that in multiple spots to melt all
that steel but I don't want to get into 9-11 right now well the thing about it I
think it was a direct energy weapon it literally vaporizes the shit it turns to
fucking dust there's nothing left of it yeah but if you use also if you use a
direct energy weapon it has a pat I mean I don't know man I gotta look more
into this I wanted okay should have looked we should have looked at some
Hawaii stuff before here but you know what that sucks that that happened to
those people because even if it was a government psi up for blackwater to move
in and take over the land because now because what's gonna happen now is
here's the deal these people own these properties okay none of the big movie
stars are Obama by the way or any of these motherfuckers these people own these
only properties okay so now they have to rebuild well guess who's gonna step in
and be like hey okay we'll loan you money and we're gonna give you a very nice
interest rate so now you're gonna have to pay us back at what the properties
worth what that land is worth now that's what we're gonna loan you the scam goes
beyond that but yeah I'm just saying that's when blackwater stops in I mean
there's no it would be a shame if this was what do you call it if our country
had a fucking hand in this oh it is a shame all for a land grab you know
that's all if that's what it boils down to it's just a land grab you have to
have hundreds of people die well it said 93 the last time I check they don't
know what they killed thousands in 9-11 okay we know that Larry so I mean
look at obviously they're not afraid to kill Oklahoma City yeah I mean Waco
exactly these the government has don't kill kids they'll use fucking poisons
they'll use things they'll do stuff and then blame it on make it look like others
exactly that's what they do they are what's that's one of their big it's
cloaking daggers shit you know you look one way while I do this the other way
you know bait and switch Kansas City city shuffle that's what it is and they
get away with it all the time I mean look at every time we have a president
right now who's being indicted for tampering with the elections for trying
to get the election over that's another thing man for indictments on Trump it's
ridiculous 91 counts this motherfucker's facing I mean like if he was gonna if he
got found guilty of the ones even before today he would have like 640 years
moon cricket it's just bullshit oh what do you call it but I mean does it really
stick what's not gonna this you know what this guy fuck yeah it's either
total theater or it's an obvious communist plot man you know well block lock
up the opponents that's that's which is I mean this is at the highest level too
there's no I mean there is no masking what's going on coming down from fucking
Biden so in all these fuckers got Trump deranged excuse me how long is try
Biden been president what two and a half years almost three years yeah how much
is gas right now it's going up and I will say the first this is the first time
in a while I noticed that diesel cheaper than gas as it should be it should be
way cheaper way to refine it tells you what they were doing on purpose okay so
now they were driving up the prices by jacking with the diesel prices on
purpose why would diesel ever be more than gas dude to make the truckers pay
more the Democrats are a fucking tire in the truck or a nail in the tire of the
trucking company man they are all those motherfuckers are brainwashed to vote
Democrat no matter who or what well yeah I don't know about that I don't know
they are all those union guys my wife man she was a she was my wife my wife
very nice she was a you know the public defender they were all brainwashed one
time she said at work that she didn't like Obama and everyone's like well yeah
what did you just say yeah because like well she had a fucking no she said
why they say that's what they think oh you know like hope you're racist well no
no that wasn't like that back then they were just shocked because they were all
such brainwashed Democrats that they were like well why and you know and then
she laid it out what a cock sucker she thought he was we didn't know big Mike
was a man back then yet and you know all the lies yet weren't as clear as a
bell like they are now because you know hindsight is always 2020 but you know and
in the same thing would go like but she said she didn't vote Democrat are you
gonna hit that are you gonna get a party they would fucking oh okay well yeah you
know what work everyone flip out and same with the truckers same with the
teachers same with all of them the problem is you can't have a conversation
with these people nobody wants to fucking talk anymore everybody just wants to
fucking shit if you don't like what they don't like then they fucking call you
something and then they shut down and that's it well it didn't it wasn't like
that again it wasn't like that back well nobody it's just like everybody now
now yeah nobody has like nobody can confront anybody anymore you know that
balls anymore that's how you perpetuate ignorance it's just flat out don't have
a conversation with someone you disagree with and say that they're fucking
crazy well and that's the problem is that these people show their cards that
they're crazy if you give you just shut down like that then you can't even hit you
know kind of vernacular do you have just sit behind a computer all day and fucking
do your bullshit but up so getting back to fucking uh Trump's diamonds no that's
I mean it is what it is yeah it is really it is he the first president he's not
the first president to fuck up Clinton every single fucking dirt on their
blood on their hands here's the thing no man well Trump doesn't have blood on
his hands per se like Obama and all these other guys that killed people every
fucking day of the week well they just had the opportunity to do so
Trump has the opportunity to do whatever he did listen he's done the
fairest things it's not while he was president I mean when he would come on
Larry I mean are you there Mike escape what what did he do I'm just saying you
saying he hasn't killed people like Obama or he hasn't killed people like
bushes yeah he's doing you know and he did he told you oh those guys did it all
tell you everything talk about cloak and dagger those motherfuckers are
cloaking dagger he killed the you know bin Laden no no that was Obama oh that
was fake Obama was a bin Laden was dead before nine like two weeks after nine
eleven telling me they'd perpetrate 9-11 no oh my god are you kidding me this is
the first I hear we already have an episode about this or he blacked out
no I'm totally joking right now oh my god remember this is a comedy podcast and
what book am I reading right now that you loaned me I'm reading I'm really good
book by 9-11 book three good book by Edward Henry one of my favorite
authors it's a call it's a very good book it's written like a 10 years old 14
manual yeah it's called 9-11 okay let's just leave it at that enemies
the foreign and domestic it's good it's a good book yeah I mean that's good they
get in depth on it they get in depth from every so so from every angle what do
you think about defunding the police oh I think it's the dumbest fucking thing you
could do man how would you know though if you so say that people defunded the
police but then how would you know if they defunded the police well when we
call 9-11 say someone fucking OD's or a Polly type person is crashing through
the windows and my wife freaks out the calls yeah and then they don't show up
yeah because why is why don't they showing up because they're not there
they're busy because they're doing something else because people actually
listened to a group of left-wing people and anarchists and all these crazy
pink-haired blue-haired motherfuckers yeah um and actually got them to defund the
police you know why you know why those I just thought of this you know why those
people are out there who because all them fucking freaks freaking out with the
blue hair and shit because they closed down tower records and all that that's
where all those people would be working you know at that freaked out bookstore
looking at freaky magazines from Germany and France you're telling me we could
cure homelessness and drug addiction by building a tower records and see you
know everywhere you know multiple tower records you know because they took
them out when did they close them in like the 90s or I don't know off-hand
Larry would tell you remember when it was there and then it was gone I remember
record shops okay so all these people would have a job at tower records and
have something to do and all this shit wouldn't even be happening probably I
don't know about that I mean if you give way to anarchy what do you think's gonna
happen anarchy yeah I mean fucking a so okay so Portland Seattle Chicago where
was my York LA all of these places now that have okay um that are run by
Democrats mm-hmm are now so the guy in a man the guy in Washington DC the mayor
is asking for fucking he's like he wants the National Guard what's wrong oh he's
saying that the National Guard is not out of what do you call it it's not out of
reach for him to call to help bring order back to the city because they're
understaffed oh no shit yeah this is what he says Brandon Johnson Chicago well
says the same thing crime is rampant here's and I don't know we don't know
what to do but this is what you wanted you got what you wanted yeah that's
your fucking cake and eat it too bitch here's what the thing is the people on
top that's what they wanted but it's not with the little guy that's running the
cities wants and here's the other problem though a lot of these guys the
the need for all these cops wouldn't be necessary if these fucking DA's lock
these motherfuckers up instead of just letting them go and then they commit
more and more crimes you know most of the crimes are done by like 20% we've
talked about this before we've proven it it's not true it's no dude I'm not
kidding okay all the crimes in New York were done by like 3,000 people we talked
about we looked up the stats and they were they were they were they were they
were fucking the accounting for the majority of the crime it's repeat
offenders yeah if you fucking lock them up and then they get you know for the
small shit and then they go off fuck that sucked I got locked up for six months
just for that so now next time I might want not want to fuck up unless they like
being in jail and then they go ahead and do their thing and then when they
fucking do something bad like push someone in the fucking train tracks or
go into Walgreens and empty out the shelves and steal all the toothpaste and
the fucking mouthwash and deodorant and all the shit that's expensive the pills
and the fuck yeah whatever whatever you can get good money for it yeah I know how
they do it the fuckers should be held accountable like you've seen the movie
the the little snippet of those two guys the Indian dudes in 7-eleven beating
those guys yeah shout out to them man with the stick yeah oh that was fucking
excellent because they just got tired of it yeah no they in San Francisco they
had same guy robbed them two times that day that was the third time yeah what do
you call it oh shit I mean that's a fucking that's bullshit
the fuck did I do my thing oh yeah in San Francisco they fucking they have
chains over the freezer aisle and shit like that they have a chain with the
locks I mean one lock it yeah businesses are pulling out bang everybody's just
they want to shutter the city and like it's like a fuck it's looking looking
into a fun house mirror yeah yeah I'm fucking so distorted they got there they
could this is their utopia yeah Mary was watching something and these ladies are
talking and they're like living in New York and they're like fuck we don't even
buy we order toothpaste and everything on Amazon because it's such a hassle to go
to the store and ask the clerk and have him follow you around the store for every
item you need that it gets ridiculous and you just say fuck it yeah life in the
big city fuck that shit man but then yeah and then you know and then the
stores eventually say fuck this we don't need to be here and that my friend is
how food deserts happen well that's what happening now and that's right you know
like it is not like it is here in our city in Chicago I mean well there's huge
food deserts how many fucking places on the west side can you go you know our
areas where there's a lot of liquor stores but there's not a lot of fucking
grocery stores yeah because you know how the city is there's bodega's and shit
but also the same thing with Walmart remember when they were running them they
had two of them down in the city they had the clothes because they were losing
money on these wallmarks yeah for years and they were and they and they were
getting good subsids subsidiaries from all government and the tax breaks and
all this shit man and stuff just became so rampant they had to close down
they're like we've been losing money on this place for ten years so I'm keeping
it we're keeping it here for you but you can't keep it you know what I mean and
you've been in those stores you've been in the ghetto stores where the shelves
are all fucked up and oh yeah nothing you know dude you just go to the fucking
bodega on the corner and get fucking what you need it's not the healthiest shit
yeah that's what I'm saying though that's why I'm saying healthy healthy that's
a food that a bodega it's like where you go get fucking Fritos in the fucking
20 yeah you go get a little Debbie in a fucking pop yeah you're not it's not the
place to fucking no you're not going three squares there man oh I mean you'd
be fucking diabetes to take your foot kids are fucking either really skinny
or really fat it's no you know there's no fucking normal anymore well there is
a normal but it's hard a normal hard exercise or not actually just move around
reading well no just move around a lot of it is diet just straight up you know
what we saw those fucking things where we saw the Fritos from yeah you're up in
shit yeah compared to the USA and the ones from the United States like double
the ingredients and they amount of sugar they had they showed the one in the
United States half of the bottle was sugar and then the one in Europe the
cap was just where the cap was it was just barely covered by sugar and it's
crazy and I told you one time when I was in I was in Germany at this place just
having lunch and I ordered a coke and so the lady brings me a bottle of coke and
a bottle of water yeah and they she put some next to each other and hands me a
glass yeah cut it and they expected me to like pour half and half that's how
they do it you know and I just poured the cold straight into my bottle and they
looked at me like holy fuck savage they were looking at me like almost like is
he gonna live yeah like I cannot believe he can handle that they were freaking out
they were literally tell you we are the most gluttonous country in the world
yeah leather be rounder or flat we still are the most gluttonous car yeah our
insatiable appetite for drugs and fuck it fast food and soda and sugar and all
this stuff that like makes us go is amazing but then I had a bottle of water
to go to so that was cool yeah one can of fucking mountain dudes like 58 grams of
sugar dude imagine that in coke I don't know if the I've never had a mountain do
in my life really yeah it looks like fucking antifreeze to me do people live
off of that shit doesn't it look like anything yeah I don't drink pop I'll
have one every once a while when I go get Mexican food with my kid because they
get a Mexican coke okay because they come in the glass bottles yeah and it's
like real sugar so it's it's yeah and that's what I get to when I drink
something a coke cola usually it is from the Mexican restaurant yeah if I get
tacos man I'm gonna have a coke you gotta have a coke one time I have Pepsi too
which I'll take also it's all right I'll have it in the pinch but here's the thing
I'll fight you for that I remember going to this kid kid's house for dinner one
night and his mom made spaghetti and she pours me a big fucking glass of milk
yeah man I'm used to drinking you want to fuck it fight lady yeah we're gonna
fight really quick you gotta drink your milk why aren't you drinking your milk
listen lady I fucking pour water on my cereal and she's gonna like crazy
she's like what's the matter with you you don't drink milk I'm like no I don't
drink milk for fucking animals like yeah and I was like man I'm never eating
there again I told my mom she fucking want expected me to drink and I mean she
poured a tall fucking glass like I hate milk yeah and especially with spaghetti
dude oh man you want to make me throw up fourth grade or third grade I don't want to fucking eat
this peasant you know I was at his house swimming all day and I want to keep swimming
oh milk and I'm just gonna eat dinner here all right okay so now all of a
sudden we're eating everything's cool and now she pours big glass of milk and
I'm like you got any Pepsi get back then we did drink Pepsi yes and and they're
like no it's like wow you drink pop they looked at me like I was an alien I'm
like yeah drink pop what are you fucking crazy you guys eat fucking spaghetti or
pizza yeah something to that effect without fucking and I mean at least young
yeah and you're young like the greatest thing a pop and a fucking slice dude I
remember I'm sure you did this with Jason me and my my me and my brother would
have to have our glasses right next to each other the same oh yeah my dad would
have to fucking it's he's got more alright alright I don't want any ice I don't want
straight pop you're like a raw dog in that pot you're just like fuck that I
don't want to cut it with nothing I want that straight straight sugar yeah I
bet and I wonder pop was probably more healthier back then oh yeah yeah you know
like popping out fucking just everything's riddled with sugar but it's all
bad oh it's all basically you know what fuck you Democrats for ruining our
fucking city with your fucking lackluster views and defunding the
police yeah not backing people that matter the most and this is what you get
but now that we are suffering yes fuck you yeah well we have been suffering in
Chicago land here for a long fucking time and the thing is and and I work I work
the elections like I said before and the people that are I mean they're mostly
all Democrats like they need me to be there to be the other side and the truth
this is I'm not even really Republic I'm more of like an independent but they're
like we don't care there's like a shortage of Republicans because they got
to have two of something at each fucking thing you know and how to make it fair
yes and I didn't know that yes and it's like you and Mary yeah we're like a
my side I'm gonna have a smoke and come in so many files now she's like oh I'll
go have a cigarette with you like damn fuck I'm not having a cigarette and then
I'm out there with them like hey you got a cigarette and I asked you for one and
she's probably thinking I thought you said you were coming out to have a smoke
but she gave me one but you went so you went God's stone and then came back to
her and asked no no I went she followed me out there so then we're both standing
there and I can't smoke the joint and I'm just gonna rip it right in front of
the I couldn't because she was like you know but if she wasn't you're a polling
official you should be smoking weed out of a government in front of a government
it was a federal offense even worse you're but we're too legal it's legal it was a
break I don't know how the Catholic Church's views on smoking weed I'm not
that worried about the views of the Catholic Church well I mean I don't I
know their views on children very I mean I don't want I don't really want to know
what their business views are and I think you can kind of smoke weed inside a
church if you wanted to but you know what here's the other thing they had a
kick-ass piano and they had a kick-ass keyboard and I wanted to go and fuck
around with them and all day long people were coming in and I would think it was
gonna be a voter they were going in that little room in the church in the
chapel area and praying some voting no and just going in there to pray one
person went in there for hours and prayed another person was fucking
sobbing crying yeah I'm like hold it sounds like a couple and you're waiting
I couldn't believe this was like a Tuesday and I couldn't leave how busy the
church was it was the polling station in the gymnasium of the church it was like
a church school it was in Chicago I mean a Barlett okay that sounds horrible so
people are praying over their stone no you're all stone in here I mean I wasn't
all stone first of all we had to be there at we had to be there like 5 a.m.
because the voting starts at 6 a.m. and believe it or not motherfuckers are there
at 6 a.m. it's a big deal and not to mention I'm like one believe it or not
I'm one of the youngest healthiest guys besides maybe a couple of girls and so
I'm doing a lot of the work lifting the machines you know helping Mary and then
some girls casting fake ladies sees that I'm helping Mary and says could you help
me too and so now I'm setting up two machines okay well it's good looking
things in because I could do it like that you know so it's pretty fun then
too and then all day long I'm just fucking around the people like I like
this girl and I was at a station with them like you know I've been going out
a lot on the weekends and I hope my wife doesn't find out and I'm praying to God
that I'm not pregnant you know and she looks at me like what the fuck and I'm
like what you can get pregnant right that's that's what you guys say isn't
it you said this to someone yeah how high so maybe I didn't know I wasn't that high
I mean it sounds like you were I mean why would you say that to a person because
you know I want to see you see her reaction well it was a person I worked
I was working with that one of the station she was like so we okay she was a
damn she was a hardcore Democrat like two of them and then two of you like you
were literally saying fuck Trump and fuck this and you know and she was hating
that she sounds very unprofessional she well yeah and not only that man not to
mention get where your fucking views on your sleeve and she was very ornery and
very pissed off she wrestled her and so but that's why I almost did because I was
saying gee you know I hope I'm not pregnant I'm just I know I know you
already said that yeah okay so you know what you say pissed you can't get
pregnant your man I'm like what do you mean isn't that is doesn't Biden say that
man could be pregnant does he I mean none of these well I don't know okay now
you're just fucking with her yeah okay I just wanted to fact check this but now
that I know that night I have no fucking idea all right but you know very
whimsical tale everyone that one black woman that bitch what the fuck was her
name that couldn't tell you what a woman was and she says I don't know I'm not a
medical doctor or whatever these well then why should you get opinion on it
well because they were asking her she was becoming a supreme court judge or
something and they're going what is the difference from a man and a woman and
she goes I couldn't tell you yeah cuz they're like yeah because that's
politically correct that's what gets her fucking voted in well she has to stick
right I mean they have to have some sort like she's no she's twisted well she's
either a Democrat or Republican so she says that the Democrats favor her you
know what I mean you know she's not obviously you know I don't understand I
think they should you know so on that basis that's why I was fucking with that
lady okay because of that you know I mean you try to workers can't say
honestly the woman is the one with the pussy the man has the fucking dick I
think I didn't say that thank God you didn't say that no but I mean that's all
you got to say if you want to save vagina and penis or whatever you could
use the doctor name you know the medical fucking terms well it's dong and
cunt would not be advisable I mean you don't want to just come out but here you
are right next to God's house in vizien right next to God's house messing with
another human being this is very un-Christian like Larry it was a cat
I think it was a Catholic church huh it was a Catholic church that's even more I
mean Jesus layer what are you doing dude it wasn't you know what I wasn't causing
malice to her it sounds like you're provoking her and I'm sure I was in
somewhere you know what though here's the thing what's the thing Larry she thought
it was pretty funny and then there was a other lady yeah there was no everyone
else thought it was pretty funny you just said she did she didn't this old lady
I was thinking to this old lady okay me and Mary made friends with this lady I
think her name was Carol and dude she was like fucking in her I don't know
upper 80s man long hair she looked like a hippie she could handle herself she was
talking about I first got the election the first election I worked at was a JFK
and I'm like holy fuck you fucking dust bones yeah and so me and Mary so we had
her attention so now we're talking about she's like yeah you know I saw the
stones and really yeah she's talking about like seeing the stones when back
way looking right at me I couldn't think of anything I can't think of a time
period you pulled another Mitch McConnell right there oh man I was just
freaking out and so yeah me and Mary made friends with her and it sounds like a
very fun place and it takes all day so you get to know these people sort of and
you know who's cool and who's not cool right away kind of and by the time you
leave it's it's dark when you get there it's dark when you leave you there all
fucking day oh yeah yeah it's cool that's all right gives you something to do and
then you break the machine that's like what month is that yeah April usually
April okay yeah so it's like but it could be in different months I was in
March it might have been in March that's a kickoff though sugar baby summer
you know sugar baby summer is coming oh you know what you know that scooter my
phone man what do you got a console buddy right there no I wanted to I wanted
to read the story to you which is it's fucking hilarious man I try not to read
stuff but if I think it's fucking silly if it's the one about the dish running
away with the spoon I heard it already no excuse me a man who allegedly sold
fake COVID cure arrested after three year man hunt so he's selling a fake cure
for a fake disease and now they've been spending taxpayers money to hunt this
guy down and they finally catch him why they had cuz Fauci didn't get a cut well
he was at the bath house oh yeah but uh and now they actually thought I saw it
fucking um what do you call it it's fucking now they have so technically this
is a loss isn't it like this guy was just selling fucking a leave it be
structural alkaline silver because it resonates and vibrates at a frequency
that destroys the membrane of the virus structural alkaline silver yes
structural alkaline it vibrates at the right rhythm of the
you resonate man it resonates with your bro cures you dude makes the virus
incapable it's hatching to any healthy cell man or in fact even any way dude and
isn't what a necklace or you drink it the release states yeah it's a fucking
$300 for a gallon of the silver gallon yeah man man I mean you really need to
drink I mean I mean I'm gonna sue the whole guy oh my lord I can't imagine
drinking a gallon I mean yeah I'm sure you can do it you don't have to do it all
at one sitting you can space it out Larry yeah it's not a challenge by the end of
the week you know you have to slam it that's the only way it works I know that
might be the thing if it's a gallon like that no here's the thing though it
might be the family size you know they're sold on Amazon doce off of it
damn 400% jumping revenue two million dollars two million bucks that's it they
probably fucking spent more money just to hunt this guy down the two million
dollars yeah man hours and flights and bullshit hey it's just driving on the
highway million dollars to get their penny back a toilet seat there are
toilet they'll spend you know anything to fucking but uh what do you call it um
ah fuck I had a brain fart there yeah oh yeah so I mean two million bucks that
we're talking about that's how much he stole that's nothing no it's not that's
fucking less than that's less than what hunter owes on his taxes that they let
go by the statute of limitations but isn't that funny though fucking you know
what I'm saying last month four members of a Florida family were convicted of
selling bleach as a cure for several ailments including COVID through their
online through their online church
legal cure everything yeah I know cure life imagine how you would smell after
drinking that's a good thing yeah you'd be fucking that should not go through
your innards so turn your fucking guts to mush okay one of uh I guess I could
say this story it's kind of crazy well I'm speaking of bleach okay let's say N
you know someone's girlfriend that we know
her miss and her son she was going out with this guy I sure you should be telling
the story probably not but okay so anyways there's four kids involved the
oldest kid is off in college the three younger sons are there and the oldest
kid the oldest son was he was going out with Joanna for a while I mean Larry
I mean come on Larry let's turn the fat off he's telling me the story he goes my
my brother tried to poison my mom's boyfriend with bleach because he poured
it in the guy's water bottle because he brought the same bottle of work every
day and the youngest baby drinking it in the middle kid who poisoned it's gonna
poison the boyfriend he's like oh my god oh my god and they fucking realized the
baby drank bleach and then they realized this kids trying to kill this guy but
once you smell the bleach in the water it was a little kid man he was like three
years old he was poor the three-year-old was poisoning the three-year-old was
drinking it I understand this looks how old was the kid that was poisoning the
kid was like seven the kid that was boys in this boyfriend seven yeah something
like that seven or eight that's not a good seven yeah well it was miss ends kid
yeah all right then well oh how did we get on this you're talking about bleach
and I just thought it was kind of wild that a seven-year-old had the fucking
where with all the poison the guy like that and then the guy would have drank
it at work you know yeah but I think it would the guy would imagine taking a big
you'd smell the bleach though especially if it's been I told you when no shirt
Nick drank the fucking yeah with the oil yeah well shame on them for fucking
shout out no shirt Nick I mean here's the thing if this guy uses this water
bottle every day and you fucking douse it it wasn't entirely bleach it was just
a nice amount yeah but how good is the seven-year-old at measuring bleach and
then sure you didn't measure it man well then how the fuck does he know if it's
good or bad water out for it I don't know man I'm just this he kid didn't die
the three-year-old didn't die well that's good I mean I got it only was
caught like a dragon going through his stomach couldn't speak it was you know
shit like that sounds like you were there I wasn't but the one kid told me a
real good description and said it was crazy and then the guy was kind of
pissed off that somebody was trying to kill him even though it was a child yeah
yeah I'm not now that child murdered I can't blame the kid I'll tell you yeah
I mean if you don't like somebody there's other ways of doing it into poison but
when you're seven years old you kind of I mean if you you have the enough who's
not in years you have enough know-how to fucking poison somebody and want to do
it at seven there's something going on maybe it was ten that would you just
said seven I don't know and you said eight and now you just jumped to ten Larry you
forget it you mean you're the one telling the story fuck me over now it's
over who cares about the details your ball back Larry kids age here's the
thing no who cares when you're asking dumb fucking questions
hmm that in their first he's this then he's that who cares dude the story's
fucking over you're fucking moron god I don't mean to piss on your parade about
a seven year old boy and a grown man I'm the idiot that's not nice some kids
grow up faster than others yeah I mean this kid grew up fast sounds like it
this guy had a fucking real fucking thorn in the side about that guy but I
can't blame the fucking kid I'll be honest I wasn't the fucking greatest guy
in the world bad kind of asshole I mean who isn't an asshole nowadays well
everybody well you are sure oh fuck you it's not nice again too not nice is um
but oh shit I was going over all the different ways you could say asshole
one night with Mary and I had her laughing so hard different languages no
just different influx it's like what am I an asshole asshole you know you know
I'm just a different asshole fucking asshole just doing this your way and she
was laughing and laughing and then I'd say once in a while what am I fucking
asshole and then I'd say and I'm now and now I'm the asshole and then she
laughs the more it was fun the fuck are you doing man COVID-19
hospitalizations are continuing to increase in the United States according
to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention oh my it raised 14% last
I've had a notification so that's why I'm sorry you're kidding me that was a
notification yeah from ABC News that COVID just rose 14% that says right here
weekly COVID hospitalizations increased but experts say not to worry Larry don't
worry I'm not because you know yeah let's shut the country down again and see
what happens now then it's gonna be like fucking Mad Max well here's the thing
man everybody's gonna fucking obey because everybody's just that's how they
are we're living in a pretty weak society I didn't stop working one day but
here's you know you know that the hospitals didn't increase one fucking
iota from COVID no I mean ABC everything on there is a lot from I was
reading it to you I think it's hilarious I got it yeah I mean it's very fun we know
that that's bullshit well that's their thing why would you I mean what easier
way to control a population than to scare them exactly and then mask them and
then make them feel like you know they mean like put on a mask bitch yeah it's
like that one China it's China it's like that one dominatrix bitch that one to
get the torture chamber built in Florida put on your mask slave that's what
we're like put on your mask we're the fucking ones that are chained to her
fucking ponytail you know I'm saying that's your analogy that's the analogy
alright that's that's what they wanted that's what they like man the government
they want to fucking put their right on your neck yeah man they want to walk on
your neck with high heels I mean that sounds hot
stilettos yeah I don't actually you don't want them doing that all dirty and
shit and nah man I don't understand that shit they might be like that one guy
and use your fucking balls as a speed man
they were all taking turns they might be training for Olympic boxing rocking his
nuts dude like three of them could happen huh it might happen so I mean if I
get enough money maybe you will I don't want that though I'll pay for that you'll
pay your own pocket yeah if you want to have someone three of our women listeners
Jay and two others all right yeah no it's not a contest I want to partake in
no we'll just get some like some light nut torture no not it's just gonna be a
few fucking hard punches oh yeah sign me up Larry yeah well isn't that what
they're doing to the one guy oh they were rocking his nuts dude I mean I think
that's what they were cracking those nuts it was bad you should try they were
like boxing chicks too they knew what they were there was no messing around
just porno chicks you actually were they were all MMA fighters they were all taped
up and shit and they were like doing they were like so the dude was he was like
a Jesus oh my lord he was not like it looked like a big cross and then he was
strapped down to it up in the air and his nuts were just high level oh my god
and they would and three chicks would one would hit it that won't be hit it from
the left then a right and then a right and geez what the fuck is wrong with
people I don't know it was it was a in an Asian country so well those guys are
into some weird shit they're so repressed that's why I mean they saw used
underwear and vending machines really quick yeah you're a quick sniff on the
way to work wow you go wreck your meat at the office that is amazing just carrying
I mean too I want I want to look into that and see who started that because
that's a great that's a conspiracy I'm down with from the government well I'm
looking maybe we could set up a machine like that and like Union Station or
something of our own and you just wear the underwear whoever man if as long as
the machine sells out we could reload it and get the money out of there without
getting killed on the way home yeah we could just hop on off the top on the
train get it get the money go home we're gonna get all this we're gonna need to
fucking authenticate it someone's gonna have to guard while one guy empties the
machine we're gonna need a gun loaded underwear in the Union Station but the
money part bringing that that's that's the part we're gonna need how you gonna
bring the underwear there you're gonna put them each one in a plastic bag yeah
well it'll be one of them screw machines yeah I know but what would you
put what was the packaging how would you transport it yeah well they had to be
packaged yeah they would be well you know how they sell the weed in those
vacuum seal yeah you're back you're now your vacuum sealing underwear where are
you gonna get this underwear from how are you going to recruit people for this
endeavor I got my waist oh you're gonna hang out you're gonna hang out at Union
Station and pick people up aren't you go to the bus station and they're on
Harrison and it'll be like woodmines owner operating I don't know man I
wonder where the I've done now I'm interested I'm interested in that I
want to take a look at you're interested in getting a couple of pairs of
used ship them to us I'm sure and we can we'll have a sniffing thing you and I
will get two pairs each well don't guys from like isn't that what you do like
legal probably guys from jail would want underwear that were used under where
sent to them and I don't think they could I don't think they can have that
contraband yeah man can't send a cum stained so I don't want to get graphic
is that where you hoped for when you were locked up no no no it wasn't like
that it was you weren't in long enough yeah it was counting so what didn't
it wasn't prison I know so there was it was a lot more it wasn't today I was
thinking most of my friends have been in prison the eels is only fucking been in
little minimal lockups mm-hmm I myself have not been in prison either thank the
Lord just a prison wallet that's the only thing that's been used up on you
yeah it's the only thing yeah by an inmate when you were you fucking did
scared straight they just raped you that is fucking hilarious I think it's
man it's funny makes me laugh so you know if Trump gets found guilty he'll
get like fucking 700 years I know I mean there has but you never know man it's
just gonna fucking lock him up for the election now you know I'm I say lock him
up you know what I mean I'm talking about make him immobile make him not be
able to fucking do this thing make him not okay pain you want to wipe because
it's crazy I think the tyranny that our government
government gets away with yeah and they're doing this to a opponent who's
getting ready to run and they're gonna jam them up in court yeah come on this is
I mean games that this did this government plays right now are soft
morrick they're fucking neanderthal it's just like rock hit you with it you know
what I mean like gun shoot yourself right in the foot yeah you know there
not there's nothing thought out it's just like this is now and then fucking
gluttonous again exactly just like hunter I want a party with this motherfucker I
mean it would be cool also if if he was the president and he was in jail but it
was pimped out like that's not gonna happen Pablo Escobar because he's you
know he's the president let's let's face it it was guarded by Secret Service and
he could have parties and we have a disco and and it was like a gang member
running shit from jail we're gonna let the run shit by him you know what would
it fucking be at though we're Florida Mar-a-Lago
I don't know maybe he'd be on house arresting they've no like Pablo they have
to build him one well yeah that's what I mean yeah so if they're gonna do that
they've got to build him so we're gonna be at wherever we're what's the most free
estate in the union or the country well you know those you know Oregon Washington
a place like that are pretty out in the mountains in Arizona yeah just do whatever
you want out there well out in the mountains any I don't think they're
gonna fucking arrest this guy there's AI generated pictures of his mugshot that
are very funny yeah that's cuz you got mugshot it didn't need the first time
well you know that's so that was that's their big money shot they're so fucking
drooling over that oh boy I can't wait till we get a mugshot of Trump it's gonna
look like any other fucking picture of Trump that's gonna be our next t-shirt
except it'll have awesome lines behind this area needles oh you know what it
would be good t-shirt us in a lineup with Trump that's pretty cool yeah a
couple of our friends us and Trump line up and someone pointing at one of us like
all the picture I sent you everybody's 88 and yeah look over there the CIA did it
very funny you know it'll be that guy did it and it'll be one of us being we
can't see though you know because we're all lit up yeah we're in a lineup yeah
we're trying to figure out who there's a couple cops sitting in the chair for the
t-shirt you know maybe no shirt Nick could draw this for us it's not that
hard well for him it isn't no for you and I it'd be possible yeah we couldn't
even come possible it very rudimentary but he knows ways to do vague line
drawings and really get the point across you know when you're a real artist
okay that's what that's how you could do it did you get that whatever I don't want
to talk about just like rat could fucking blow anyone away on the guitar by
just hitting one note he's a one-string hero never I remember he's I'm saying
I don't want to say what popped into my head but I'll say it later because you
say it we get off air give me killed yeah well that's thanks for withholding
what you're gonna say and what you were gonna say I can live with that for that's
how it works I gotta say man I've been really I haven't been smoking joints like
crazy all day I've been just ripping bongs ripping bongs like crazy all day
and cuz that's a lot better wow a lot healthier isn't it yeah no but here's
the thing though I only smoke one or two and then my for a pretty long time and
then I've been doing my thing and then take one more little puff the weed I
only smoke one little bowl I'll fucking day man the weed schedule or sugar baby
it was pretty nice yeah I bet I mowed my dad's grass today nice
that was real cool he was happy as fuck yeah why wouldn't he be yeah he was glad
because it saved him he was able to pull some weeds or kill some tree or
whatever the hell else he wanted to do how old big Joe 84 oh and also I want to
tell I want to do a correction from last week when we were talking about Norm and
my dad hanging out I said my dad was 82 he's 84 and I said norm was 72 norm is
68 get out of here 69 yeah I think a real lemon party I think he said 68 and
we went to his 60th birthday it was really great because there was this dude
there one of his friends and we were all fucking wasted and he's only my next
star neighbor and he starts talking about how he loves the stones and norms like
hey you should go get your guitar so I went and got the little guitar with the
amp built in and this guy fucking was pretending he thought he was Mick Jagger
it was great he was dancing around on the picnic table everyone's laughing and
clapping and singing along it was really fucking funny and it was like norm's
good buddy from I don't know high school or something yeah and everyone
norm huge all the time and yeah and noron they did it up man rock sand fucking
oh yeah she had the fucking catering like you couldn't believe everybody was
like holy fuck man this is amazing everybody was like can we get your card
to the caterer this shit was like some of the best food I've ever had and we
were sitting outside on her driveway and fucking little tables they brought
tables and set them up with tablecloths it's like a wedding almost man it's a
party some it was really fucking you that gets a little Caesar's and the
fucking rose for Mary here you go sweet cheeks very nice it's a good time
though huh she had a good time when I got that little Caesar's got your hit list
you know but yeah it was a great time and so yeah norm shout out to norm shout
out to big Joe no filter Frank Ross Matt Chris no shirt Nick of course one of
the most important shoutouts there zodiac because that's he's my brother
actual all these guys are my brothers and sisters but that's no shirt Nick is
blood zodiac haskola Tiffany Chrissy Lou Ann Becky Sherry J Clara Lane and
Harmony cats Tom's free clinic shout out Tom only fans girls and also most
importantly also is Mary shout out to Mary and God save this country please and
it's by them would say God save the queen man
dope I mean you should get slapped just for saying that they might have been
having a flashback from like he maybe went and like saw he's MK ultra that
was his thing yeah he went to our Sex Pistols concert or something back in the
day and that's probably hit a button and that probably snapped somebody when he
said that he's not a guy thought of that now there's a guy going around he said
that started killing yeah we did kill he got sent on his mission yeah to kill
objective has been you know what I mean like just imagine you just chilling the
objective usually ends in someone's death multiple deaths hopefully yeah I
mean if you're gonna do an MK ultra but not hopefully yes you have a job and a
mission to do fulfill it unless I'm the target man depends who the target is no
children that's why he had to say man afterwards because otherwise he was no
because if he was listening to a Sex Pistols song in the background he's
at some club and it comes on or hears it in the car or his nephew or something and
it might trigger him accidentally so when he said the man it's why I had to say
God saved the Queen man yeah and then it made him snap or it was a man I said
God saved the Queen woman and then the other person's no the women's snap or
the men's snap I wonder how many people he could snap at once
probably dude probably fucking however many fit in the classroom that you can
give the same password to at one time and then have repeated classes I probably
hundreds and thousands but we've probably already been activated we don't
even know it okay well what was the mission I should be sure who knows what
will happen I might be at some gig someday and all of a sudden like
Terminator and kill someone with my guitar blowing dudes afterwards be like I
don't even know why I did that or I don't even remember doing it and I'll go
like here's the film of you doing it you know I'd be like that's a weird weird
honeypot situation you never know no they might send you out you got to do
this gig in Puerto Rico assassinate the president yeah or the yeah they send you
to some weird place you got to do this gig in Sri Lanka that's funny we never
played there before I don't know if I'm going there but it sounds like some third-world
country shit you know Sri Lanka right yeah but I'm yeah I'm not a good spot
some nice gigs there okay they got a snake charmer if you want to be a snake
charmer that's a check out quanta no Bay I heard it's actually really nice
around this time of year oh yeah yeah you should go see what it's like there if
you play like that would be a super fucking huge red flag what they sent if
the if the manager sends me an itinerary and I see Guantanamo Bay on the list of
fucking cities I'd be like tough thumbs up man Rikers Guantanamo but you're gonna
get passed around the passed around tour it's like how come I'm playing in all
these prisons that's all right though yeah how we doing on time we're doing
overtime this is by the way tell my tell our listeners this is a Larry needles
custom-bong
catechronic Larry needles beautiful little piece listen to it this is the
bong air of the show yeah all right everybody I want to thank everybody for
tuning in we really appreciate it like follow subscribe tell your friends tell
everybody you know at Larry needles Twitter yeah follow us leave a comment
also though tell your friends that's the most most important part because that
will expand our shit yeah we're closing in a thousand things so yeah we're
trying to get a thousand downloads in our first little era here and if we don't
get them I need a little Larry with them well no that's not needless gonna get
punched in the balls by the MMA fighter chick man it's gonna be brutal but I
gotta wear a cop I just can't have I just they just can't rod on me I mean
there's no way and I don't want them sneaking underneath either well man
I was a wrench in it man well no it doesn't are you gonna get your nuts
wrecked now I'll know okay then I get the one that likes that weird shit I don't
know where did you come to this conclusion that I like my nuts jabbed
around figure you're the guy that brought up the story in the first my sack
used as a punching bag punching sack yeah okay thank you everybody for tuning
in we appreciate it have a great night real fucking creep Larry huh making me
look like a real fucking creep I I'm not I'm not so I didn't why do I okay
language on my my broadcasting career they'll say when did you come out of the
closet is everyone knowing you're a total creep yeah I came out ass first
that's when they knew you were told green yeah that's it was serious all right
thank you and have a great night I'm Larry I'm needles that was the Leary
Needle show peace out