Time to get ready for the Larry and Needle show.
All right, here we are welcome to the Larry and Needle show man. I'm Larry and I'm Needle
Larry is a disheveled fucking form of himself right now
He is wearing a white linen shirt and it has eight buttons straight up my
Only the middle one is showing and his belly button is just straight out
So now I get to stare at Larry's belly button the whole you know
You're hot you're hot. I don't know about that man. I could put my thumb in that bitch
I mean you're living fucking the salt life right now. Yeah, dude, you know
You look like a fucking Puerto Rican captain on a fucking fishing boat
You know how I'm with that you couldn't be
Couldn't be loving it more the summer here. It's really been nice
Look at our Iranian desert Camelard
That tan is not good. Oh man, this is dope. No, it's not it's called skin cancer. Ah
Do you use anything? No exactly? So what do you think's gonna happen?
Well, you know nothing. I mean well, hopefully I get to hit I get the pool
I don't think anything's gonna happen cuz I think the skin cancer is you think melanoma was a joke
Yeah
It's hilarious, you're the one who said it
Tell those to the melanoma people
No, there's a thing you get you get all the skin cancer and shit from slather and all those chemicals on there from all the sunscreen
It's unnecessary. Dude, you have not opened your eyes
I am so fucking stone
I mean you are nodding out from being today we're gonna have the bongford files
Is it the bongford file? Jim bongford
That's your name. Yeah, I know that's your name for the whole episode. Should I call you Jim bongford?
No, you don't have to do that. I like that's funny though
I'll say normally we have a bunch of fucking giant joints and I'm out of weed and I got like a roach motel
Yeah, I got about three cigar boxes filled with roaches of all and he's not lying different types and today
I just been smoking them and
Through the bong and all I am I fucking all I see is you going under a crime scene and you're smoking a bong and they're like
Jim bongford
Just ripping bongs so yeah, so
Occasionally man
Jim bongford
But that's all right though because now I have to carry the podcast well fucking Jim bongford costs for another three minutes
No, I'll be okay. I hope so man because you got a fucking
How about that nugget rap in all bitch? How about you pass me the bong? Yeah
I think it's kind of ironic that that
Loudmouth blue haired fucking USA 8 and fucking cause this again
She's this old lady that looks like a man that's the soccer player for the women's
Oh the one with the fucking she is the hair man
Yeah, yeah, okay
Listen man first of all she fucking she missed a shot your son could have made easily so didn't death. Yeah easily
I've seen your kid play. I know he could have made the shot
By the way, Needle's kid is like eight years old nine years old nine
But at the time he made the shot that he could have made he was eight
This fucking lady. She's she's supposed to be a professional. Well, okay, so you want to know I might even been able to do
Want to know my problem with them is they didn't sing the national anthem when they played it. That's my problem
Yeah, well, that's what that's kind of you know what they get. She's the only one
She's the only person that's so unlikable that she can make make righties. She's a cancer for not the USA
She's a cancer to the team. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like that's what she does. She fucking makes everybody follow her first of all
Do they get paid by taxpayer money? No, no, no, they get paid by revenue that they generate. Yeah, okay
But so she also cried for equal pay than the men's league, but there's only like 300 fans and the other thing is
She now that she's on her way out
It says oh, yeah, yeah, it's cool to have men play
In women's soccer. Yes. Yes. So could you imagine if a fucking Leah Thomas, you know, this man
I don't have to imagine just gave me an example. They'd be kicking their ass, but you just gave me an example
Can you imagine? No, I can't so they never come to fruition. Yeah, they'd never they you know
Do you really need for women on the team? Okay, so now how come there's no fucking men that were women going on men's shit?
Exactly because it wouldn't even be they wouldn't even make the team
Listen, you want to you want these guys to compete against women. That's fine. Okay, but here's the deal
It's gonna be like Barry bonds or anybody that's been on juice or anything. Yeah, like okay
So all of a sudden guess what Larry? I'm a chick
Yeah, I'm gonna go into the women's bathroom. You know what if I told you that you'd be like you're a pervert
Yeah, like you're not doing it for any good reason all of a sudden you turn into a man
Yeah, I mean a woman I mean sorry. Yeah, well on the very last fucking tour
I did around the United States and you know the men's bathroom is always horrible and you need to take a shit
You're on the road
I would always go in the women's and people would once in a while say something to me and my old answer was
Hey, man, I fucking live here, but my new answer is oh, oh
I
Identify as half a skirt. Yeah, cuz you know
You would rather take a shit in the women's bathroom or the men's you don't even have to
Look in there to know I'd rather go to a gas station or out in the woods. Yeah, because the place you're describing sounds horrible
Well, you know just any regular average dive along the way that you well, I don't want to shit in any bar
Yeah, but when you're on the road you end up having to well, yes
I mean, I know that I've been on the road traveling. Yeah, only obviously
Stations, yeah, I mean you're gonna go where you go sometimes. They're not exactly the most comfortable places
Listen, and that's funny because you want to know why I shit in a fucking orange box in the middle of a parking lot next to North Avenue
Yeah, you know, so I mean it's like third-world country shit and I shouldn't a gas station
I'm talking about porta potty. No, I know, but I shouldn't get station in
Argentina
Outside the Rolling Stones concert where everyone was drinking
And they would arrest you if you went to the bathroom in the street till the line was
Unbelievable and the guy and all I needed to do was really pissed really bad at that point
Yeah, you were all gacked out the guy and you know, fucking took a shit right before
And I look at Russ and I'm like fuck dude. He's like, you know, what are you gonna do?
Yeah, you gotta go you gotta go you just said that and it was brutal, but yeah, yeah
I mean, especially in a third-world country
Yeah
Third-world country third-world bathroom, but not the worst one I've ever seen. No, but it was pretty bad
Yeah, I mean I've seen you know listen
I don't want to do potty talk right now
But we've all seen bad I've seen bad ones at concerts, you know four days and a show and nothing
It's changed out nobody doing any any of their job that they're supposed to be doing well
I don't have to worry. I'm not eating, you know, I mean
American way. Yeah, right. So I'm good for four days
Everybody else that's out there like savages. Yeah
when I was in California once there was this
Long line at this concert I was at for like three days outdoors and it was this long long line of porta-potties
Well, you could see by the path the ones that got used the most and everyone was so lazy
They wouldn't go to them that they wouldn't go to the fire one and I went to that one every time and it was like
Literally my own
He went in there. Yeah, man. It was beautiful
And I get in there in the morning and shit and get my shit together before everybody, you know
Notice that I was even noticed that there's one down there. I mean, that's how lazy these me tell you man
When the fucking porta-pottie guy comes on site and he cleans that thing whoo, I hope I'm the first one in there
Mm-hmm because there's 30 of us out there right now
There's a lot. Let me tell you some people stand. There's only one of them. Yeah. Yeah, okay
And there's multiple trades out there. You got tinknockers bricklayers the electricians the sewer guys the fucking iron guys
One union is leaving for the week or whatever and they say well shit all over this
Inside of this place no
But no, but you know what they do the Hispanics or the Mexicans they stand
Above on the porta-pot and the thing they don't put their ass to it and they shit all over the place and it just ruins it. Yeah
That's kind of what I was talking about kind of but he didn't do it on purpose
You know
fucking
I mean your fucking upper deck and a fucking porta-pot
That's not cool at all. Plus it's like 120 degrees in that bitch
It's always funny shit in the urinal, huh? It's always funny when I've never seen that me either
I know I've never ever seen that I've seen some nasty stuff in the urinal, but nothing like that
I don't know how we got on the potty talk though, man. It's crazy that fucking did that Ecuadorian dude fucking got killed in that fucking nuts
Yeah, if the cartel don't like you they don't like you know, I mean
They got their own shit going on down there like we like our country. We think our country is horrible like
Well, you know what our guys are also allegedly probably paid off by the cartel too. Well, I mean, yes, they are you know
Don't think that they're not collecting money. Well, you know, I mean come on. Listen. This has been going on for fucking decades
You know the fucking government. I mean alley north the Iran contra you always got to grease some palms to get what you want
Never trust a motherfucker named Ali. Why is that?
You're just spewing hate
There is like the German's loss with the Nazis one
One needle's heart
They went over needles hard. Um, but yeah, isn't it these fucking literally this dude was
He was like a reporter and you like reported on the cartels all the shit man
They shot him three times in the fucking head. It's on video too
Nice
This guy was trying to make the country better and they just took him out, of course, that's what they do man
That's a thing good and evil just like you know, he's always gonna win, right?
Just like right now these guys are locking up Trump with all this fucking court shit
He's not locked up. He's just under a fucking. Oh, yeah, but they're locking them up
You know, he can't mobilize and do his thing properly. That's fucking he doesn't need them
They can kill them or you know, they're basically gonna put them in jail
It's like putting their political opponents in jail just like they did in Russia and China and fucking every country
Yeah, but we're not going to do that supposedly. What do you mean?
That's not how we run. I mean, this is the first time that this has ever happened. Yeah. Yeah, I mean another a president
Has attacked another or our country attacked this is the first time they're rubbing our faces in the communism that is
It's I mean their agenda is it's it's their agenda is very minuscule
And it's really easy to concentrate on and see like there's not
They're not smart people. No, I don't know what that's more
The way that they go about and do their things they're nefarious things
Yeah, but here's because they they just keep getting caught now and it's catching up with them right now
Who who's getting caught?
Biden and fucking you know, he's the president. I know but it's like okay
Do you think whoever the next president? Okay, listen, he's getting caught taking money from China and from Russia. He got caught from
It's all over the fucking okay, so it's all over the place, but has he been charged?
No, that's the thing he won't be charged because he's the president but he's putting away
Locking up Trump for basically nothing. He's not doing anything. This guy doesn't fuck this guy fucking
We read the article about him trying to do it. Did you see the other day when he shook the Secret Service agents hand instead of the other guy?
Yeah, this guy is a buffoon and we all know this like if you have half a fucking brain when you look at what's going on
Who's running our country right now? You're like this is not good
No, no, and I'm not you know, listen, I'm not a political person
It's but it's just this is this guy's falling down bumping into shit since he's been president
He's fell down like 20 fucking times. I mean
Like we always say fall down again, man
Well, we won't get fooled again. Hopefully
Yeah, right the new boss. Yeah, I mean the old boss
But that's what it always is everybody's a pundit everybody's a fucking wag listen Trump was a good president
But he still had he's a human being like everybody thinks that we put this president into place and they're gonna change everything
Like no, they have the same agenda as everybody else does make money fuck everyone and
Then get out in four to eight years and go retire with the Secret Service
I don't think that Trump was on the fuck everyone plan. You don't think so. No, man
Their motherfucker was down for the country for who?
He was down for the country and I'm not gonna debate if Trump was good or bad
Yeah, I'm just saying as a fucking, you know as a person looking in he had a lot of flaws
Sure, he was human man nobody's perfect
But at least he loved the country didn't sell out to China and Russia and Ukraine and everybody else like Biden and everybody else does
Yeah, so I mean when you put these people into power obviously other venues open
And if you're a fucking slick willy then you're a slick will he's taking money from everybody
Hey, and Trump didn't do that and dude gas just came up 450 again a gallon
Yeah
Crazy
450 and they don't talk about it because they distract you with some cocaine from Hunter and some other bullshit
Some laptop shit and then some fucking aliens and then motherfucking Ukraine and then fucking oh man
You know what this really breaks my heart man. I was watching these videos about Philly in Kensington
It looks like a third world country if you if you blacked out
like
Shit no
Isn't in Boston or Philly Philly
Liberty bow mother fucker
So you can see that you're in a third world country. Well, no, I'm just talking about the
How big is the you know big the Liberty Bell is smaller than verges? Yeah, I know way smaller than verges
Um, okay, it's that bongers it's done
No, motherfucker. Is it done or no, it's got it's good. Okay, well, I don't think so. It looks cash
Take a look at just take a fucking so then fucking know what do you call it?
um
So rip to the presidential candidate in Ecuador, I mean this guy got fucking taken out man
Three shots of the head which is still crazy in this day and age. You think that a country like that would be able to keep up with
What's going on?
Are you kidding me? I'm not kidding you at all. How would they be keeping up?
First of all people in those countries have no rights and they can run rampant over human human
Humanitarian exactly so they can't do anything if they kill the other opponent that everybody probably likes
I mean, you don't think they have plants and it's great. You know what they have
I mean, obviously not for this one, but man, he got fucking smoke right in the head
Imagine that to the fucking the president of the United States. Oh my god. We'd be
Terminal right now. Don't huh three caps. I don't think you know. I mean you wouldn't be able to JFK him
but
I think nowadays fucking I don't know if why I mean
Yeah, okay, so get back to Philly. It is
utter despair there. It really is man. Like, uh, they could be a black lady
Is that your whole thing? You're right sugar
Larry's gotten into his stoneness of black woman face and he's actually buttoning another button right now
I'll need you looking at my shit, junior
Um, yeah, there's just cash. What the fuck dude, man
Don't be whacking that thing over there. We got this rubber one right here. Are you fool?
What if fucking stew not?
Give me that thing, man
But it looks like a fucking third world country people are like man
They had these open wounds and like they were just like walking people are dying every other block
There's literally people I've seen some films from the third world culture later and the guy had the same fucking sandals as you
Thank you. These are slides. They're not sandals. Whatever the fuck they are. Okay, and we had the same plastic shoes. Was he dying?
No, dude, I was as high as fuck
I'm kidding, man. Oh man. You are you're in a comedy thing on your third world shoes. That's all
I saw this one picture of this guy though from a third world country black fellow
And he had one slide on like you had and the other foot was a croc and he
Was as happy as could fucking be
Cause he has two completely different shoes
You have to fucking run around in the dirt no more
Everyone else was barefoot
You think? I mean we're to now imagine the people he had to kill to get two different shoes
First of all, they were so it was him and his partner they killed them and then they got one shoe each and they killed another one
He was better than a dress shoe. That would be funny
But a croc is more fitting for the the fucking desert
Africa, yeah, Africa
Fucking not. My grandfather when he was a kid they lived in arkansas for a while
You know from like a grade or two and he you know coming from chicago
He hated it and fucking
He said that nobody had shoes in the whole school not even the teachers where he went to school
Really? He was the only fucking person
With shoes in the whole fucking area. Oh, man. He probably got his ass kicked a lot
No, I don't know
He probably ran faster. I don't know. He probably run faster with your bare feet, right?
They would he would had to walk around the mountain and and they would fucking climb over the mountain like he'll
Like a hill full go. No like a hill goat like a fucking goat because they were fucking
Bread to do that. That was their thing. So they did for fun. They climbed the mountain
Barefoot the bottoms of their feet were both ways up and down and down. Yeah
And then now we have usually every time they climbed up they would climb down
No, we have kids stuck on fucking the tic-tac fucking
Core, uh, what do you call it comas? Yeah, they can't even walk on the grass
Yeah, but you know like I look at the fucking internet. I'm not fucking
Shout out to you motherfuckers walking up a mountain barefoot in arkansas, man
I know you're not listening to our shit, but we love you man. That's some real dope shit
Barefoot mountain climbers. You're a bad motherfucker. Yeah, man those barefoot children man. They are probably fucking
Farrell. Yeah, dude. I'm just gonna say hard
This big cookie got one fucking uh, what do you call it?
one uh
Overall strap on all dirty and shit just ready to fucking attack
You need rabies shots after your baby sit them if you surround two of them. If you ain't going home
They will take you out
Yeah, well, you know, they gang up on you. That's what I'm saying. They're little but they're fast
They bite a lot
And they're hill rods. They probably got a couple teeth
But the ones they have are sharp. Yeah, they file them down
Just like fangs little kid fangs
We've been drinking mountain dew since you were four
Four are you kidding me? Yeah, that's when they started mixing with whiskey. They just put a nipple on it
Exactly give them the bottle you've been drinking mountain dew since you were born
Shit this stuff's supposed to fucking caught Mickey's
Mountain dew pumped out of his mom's tits
Some of them parts I heard probably was meth before mountain dew, but I mean a combination of mountain dew and meth
methadu
That's what you need down there. Well, that's what they probably already have
What's that methadu sure are you kidding? No, I think it's just a sharp crank. Yeah, it's a local bar
I mean, listen mix and pop and fucking meth. Whoo
You really are fucking what's the other thing that they make man with the with the juice?
It's called like scissor
Yeah, yeah, what's the other names for it?
Promethazole, promethazole, promethazine
What's the other name for it? Lean?
Yeah
I'm hip. I know all the time. I know you do that's why I couldn't think of it and I knew you would know it
Allegedly and that was somebody else's voice. It was lean motherfucker
I'll tune up on that shit that shit, you know what though the funny thing is those guys would be doing it and then they come off and they got huge habits
Like habits was doing that. Yeah, it's got codeine in it
So that gets you hooked and shit. Yeah, it's a fucking opiate
You didn't see isn't it funny you didn't know that well. I just thought it was cough syrup and yeah exactly
But this is it's got fucking codeine in it. So you get hooked on the codeine
Which you know what I mean
Shout out to the black people doing codeine because lean baby. Yeah, we've just been doing it straight
Well, when we would be on tour back in the early early like in the 90s
We would fucking
Because we would get searched for weed and drugs all the time and we would drink a lot of cough syrup
Just like what robotousin? Yeah
We would get robo out. Yeah, sometimes I would put it through the process
But usually just drink four or five bottles of that shit. Really? Yeah, even I never did that
Well, why?
I know they call it robo tripping
Yeah, I don't know because we would be driving from one place to the next and you know, but what was it like?
What kind of drug experiences? I was so long ago. I didn't even remember man
Is it like lsd?
So many things. No, it ain't that good
No tripping and I know that uh fucking
Shout out Grant showed me this thing with like the lighter fluid and you mix it and then it would separate
We didn't go through all that dude. And that was like true like robo. It was like it
compressed all this shit down
Took everything out of there that didn't get the fucks up because that's why you need lighter fluid
Because lighter fluid takes all the impurities because you ingest it and you had to cut the
Plastic bag just in a little sliver in the corner
So you can get out the good shit without getting the poison lighter fluid would fucking
Do you above it?
Separate it. Yes, it would push it down, but you couldn't get one drip of lighter fluid in there
No, and then you rank it
I never did that violently throw up
And then you're higher than a motherfucker like ayahuasca
Yeah
But if you put it if you put it through all that
That shit with the bags man, that sounds way too much. I can go buy other drugs
Remember that kid had bags nailed to his wall and shit. Oh, yeah
They were sitting there. Yeah, I forgot that the cork had to put him in a couple different then drain it into another bag
And separate it anymore. Completely forgot about that they didn't filter it. Yeah
And he just had him like nailed to his walls and in his house
And this bad dude is like robo. Yeah
What are you retard? It was really a big process to do it properly. I guess
Yeah, but you could also he was a smoker you could start a fire in like two seconds with all that fucking lighter fluid everywhere
I mean, if you have to use any if you use lighter fluid to separate any drug
Or wasn't using paint thinner
Who knows something like that?
Paint thinner is even worse. Yeah, I don't know man. Listen
I've never had I just been able to buy drugs. I know I always knew where to buy drugs
Fucked up man. You think? Oh my god. I can't remember too much of that
But I remember the bags hanging up on his face. I remember to look on his face after he did it how fucked up
He looked and I was just like holy fuck. I'm never doing that
The only thing I'm never gonna do is buy whatever this guy's doing. Mainly here's the main reason was because of the violent
Throwing up before you get to this high and I asked him. Yeah, because you gotta fucking purge yourself
I throw up every time and he's like, oh, yeah. Oh, sounds great, dude. Yeah, so I was just like, no, I'm out
It's how you get throat cancer. I'm done with that one
I'm did you even do it? No, no, I'm not you're like, no, I'm not even gonna partake in this. Yeah, I'm don't even contemplating that
Yeah, there's no fucking reason for me to be putting this in my body. Let me tell you
I'm like a fucking dumpster behind an indian diner with a bunch of baby
Yeah, a condomster. Only on the only on the backside only on weekends
I get emptied before the weekend. They empty them on Monday. It's a lot of come boy
Jim Bonford here coming over the Bonford files
Is that thing gonna roll or what? Here we go, bro. So
I know we keep on leaving Kensington, but it's crazy how the fuck like nobody cares about these people
I mean, I'm sure nobody really fucking cares because it doesn't have anything to do with them
Can I see the fucking because it doesn't get in the throat doesn't help them get elected
Throw all of addiction right now. Those are those people that are all fucked up. Don't vote
in all the people that are
Watching all this shit that our regular people
are so fucking brainwashed that they're gonna continue
voting for the same shit
Because they're fucking insane
Who's insane?
The people who keep voting for the same fucking people for office over and over
And then, you know, they don't like seeing the junkies and all this shit everywhere
Well, San Francisco just started telling people not to go to work. They wanted to work from home
That's how bad it is that
People that have jobs can't go downtown because people that don't have jobs
That's how that's their answer to the crime rate. It sounds like a utopia. Doesn't it?
Here's how we're gonna get the crime rate down. Everybody who's not a criminal
Stay off the street. Well, that's pretty fucked
It's like the purge, but then at the same time
What happens the real estate now
If people can work
Well, if people can work remotely, everybody can sell their buildings and get the fuck out. That's the end game
But it's gonna be worse shit
Yeah, but and then it's gonna turn into big corporations are gonna buy it all and then they're gonna fucking own everything
And we're gonna be fucking but the corporations own everything about when you go see a concert. It's not run by a corporation
I know but now it's really they're gonna now they're gonna own everything
Everything you do in your life
Everything you do in your life is owned by a corporation
I mean even the fucking our podcasting fucking provider. Yeah, Tom's free clinic. No, that's our sponsor not our provider
But Tom he hasn't gone corporate yet. Let me tell you he provides me with service
I'm not even getting into this right now because we were just talking about something else and you completely distracted me with
Tom's it's not the time we're talking about corporations and shit. Yeah, the provider's a corporation
If you need me to get you back on track, I know I
You son of a bitch
It's gonna turn into fucking Thunderdome
Down in San Francisco. It really is already. I mean, they're cracking up
It really is the main spot
They say that is the worst that is ground zero is the tenderloin district district and
Ground fucking zero
Well, now you're seeing in the fucking because I read the news and
I don't know because thank god for uh, what do you call it iPhones?
Because I can read multiple newspapers and I have an algorithm and whatever so I can read all this shit
But uh, that they're cracking down now and they're trying to get the dealers out
But at the same time, it's like they don't want to prosecute them to the fullest extent of law
Like they still arrest them, but now they get a soft DA or they get a fucking soft prosecutor
well
and those west coast
states
Oregon, Washington, you know, Seattle, Portland
California, San Francisco and shit LA. Yeah, go keep on naming them. They only fucking
Only what? 65 percent of the arrests they let them go man. I don't know about that number. You're talking multiple states
I'm talking about those cities with these crooked DA's man. Yeah, and I'm you just named multiple states
That's what I just said. You're talking about multiple states
Yeah, man
That's it
I thought you were questioning me
to the Larry zone
Man that one fucking that one got you by the boo boo
I can't fucking breathe y'all. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Calm down. We don't want no racist things that against us
What did I say? Oh, I can't breathe
Next thing you know, I should probably get our numbers up though, so
George Floyd probably didn't even really happen allegedly. That's what I think
I mean, this is an opinion show, right? My opinion is I don't even think that was real
This is kind of whatever we want to do like we have no fucking boundaries. I don't think that really happens
What did George Floyd? Okay. Well, we're gonna talk about this now
You know, there's a lot of things that point to bullshit. Okay. Well, you just can't say that and then not say the things
Like the like he didn't even die probably. Okay. Now you just said probably after that
I mean, you really do you have any evidence for this? He probably I mean, dude, you're on like eight balling hits, dude
There was a don't tell me there was like a half a body or something. No, there was a
A
Dummy a shop that made
Yeah, like a body half a dummy. That's what I just said a whole dummy though the whole
You're a whole dummy. That's what's going on here. Don't cough right at me, dude. What the fuck?
I don't want to cough in my mic motherfucker. It's expensive. You got two ways Larry
What am I okay? Anyways, let's get back to this fucking theory that you know, so that was a rubber doll
What was a rubber doll ambulance and shit? Okay?
They switched them out at some time or another
They switched who out George Floyd man. Okay, so but when did you okay? So it's Floyd
So you're gonna tell me the wait a second the video of him coming out of the store is real
Right. Yeah, okay because you can't weekend at Bernie's a big dude like that and make it look real
No, they waited until he was down. Okay, so now a car is blocking him and then they did some kind of switcher room
Larry, I mean it's fucking these guys aren't David Copperfield
I mean, what do you mean a switcher room a Kansas City shuffle is that what they pulled?
Yeah, and you know they pulled the Kansas City shuffle on them. Okay, so but who came up and got the body though
When did it change?
What time is the man they put him in the ambulance? Okay, so you think that was still him?
They didn't take him to the hospital. Okay. I don't know too much about this. So they didn't take him to the hospital
They brought him a few blocks away and worked on him again
Okay, and well, they probably fucking whisked him off somewhere to wherever he was going and like Cuba
Yeah, who knows because there's a thing. Why would they overreact and go crazy over a fucking counterfeit 20?
Who gives a fuck listen man?
They're acting like you know, I'm gonna it's more, you know what, you know, we have like product placing. It's racism placing
Yeah, that's why I'm looking at the Alabama boat thing, which I'm not saying I'm not having an opinion on that
I'm just saying that I don't know anything about it. But tell me one snippet and I'll have okay
So supposedly this white guy
These white people didn't want to give up a spot
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love doing the black. I don't know anything about it. Okay the
Black guy is wearing a hat, you know and the fight starts and he goes like this. Listen, you're part of the problem Larry
You shouldn't be reading that. It was funny. You shouldn't be looking at that man. Oh come on. You sound like you're
Selling no shirt. Nick tell me I should know I'm not being no you want to talk about conspiracy shit. That's a conspiracy
That's a fucking turning people against each other. I know but here's the funny
So the fuck you then you ass monkey
Whatever I didn't mean to say that I apologize. I love you Larry
He takes his hat and goes like this
And throws it before he fights. Who's the black guy that jumped that swam to the fight?
None of those guys could fight. They all fought like a bunch of fucking pussies
But the black guy that swam to the fight now, you know, it's a conspiracy. Yeah, exactly
Are you sure he wasn't in blackface?
I don't know, maybe I'm in blackface.
Allegedly
He gets up and looks like Sven Guley. Are you sure you swam here motherfucker?
That's a long way to go my friend
But yeah, that was pretty funny and it wasn't racial though. They actually the guy said it wasn't racially based
We were fighting over the space
I know but they said that the white guy said the hand word
And now they just charged four of them in the fight and I'm not backing anybody like I said
Did he really say the N word?
That's what they said and that's what I'm saying that's what they said
I didn't watch the video at all I don't want to see that I've read snippets of fucking articles
and come up to my own fucking thing that this is not good for our country
It really isn't
Phones are just the worst thing people are fighting and now it's all about rap
We just said we got some phones a minute ago and I was gonna correct you and say they're horrible
I but I do say thank God because it gives me fucking weird shit like this
Yeah, but the phones are the worst yeah, and you know
That whole thing like that whole thing looked like a setup like a fake
Honeypot yeah, man a racist honey. That was a false. There you go, man
It was a false like in the black I said it wasn't racist. We were literally fighting over a spot. Okay. Well, I don't know man
I heard that someone I heard that I heard the word honky was I think it's I think it's fake news
What was that? I heard they were saying honky here in there. Does that really hurt you if somebody called you a honky?
I'll know I mean, oh my gosh people call me a lot worse. I mean we who could we call we don't know
When I was a kid man a lot of my friends dads did call me the n-word
They stayed say what is this and doing in my house get him out of here and they kicked me out
Yeah
Okay, I mean I'll tell you you want me to call these people out. No, I don't you to call them out
I'm just wondering why their fathers are calling you with the n-word. I don't know because I guess I was in an n-word
No, I guess I wasn't white enough for them. I
Mean were you tan because you were very darkly summer. Yeah, you know what I mean like
Okay, but you don't talk. I'm confused. I was a nice boy man. I just think it was a different time and little boy
Yeah, it was the 70s man. Yeah, I don't think that they were it wasn't
That's I'm saying it's a lot better now than it ever was but they want to paint it to be this bad
A horrible fucking racist thing when the truth is nobody's racist. I don't know anybody who's racist myself
I fucking really don't know me. It's you want to go back a hundred years. That's what you're doing
You know what I mean like you're doing anybody could fucking say something bad
You know, and you know who's thought that is is Frank Marshall Davis Jr. and Big Mike
Big Mike is the only fucking one. Why don't you say what what people know them as?
People know who Big Mike is come on. You just can't say Michelle Michelle Obama is the only fun and
She was she's the only one under husband. Yeah, but she's the only one that could be the first lady
Black first lady. Yeah going on every talk show everybody praising her up and down and she still cries. I'm a victim
I'm a victim. I'll say I don't know why she did that, but she would do that. That's what you're going
Rachel Ray. She's going to fucking Rachel Ray. She's going. I mean, that's not really
She would go on every single morning show. That's some empty shit right there. Yeah. Oh, yeah
That's some MK. She would cry victim Rachel Ray and Michelle Obama those two
Yeah, you know
They fucking fed they fed Rachel Ray some shit through some casserole. Oh, she's smoking hot. Yeah
And then she well, she's still she got a lot still she's still bangers. Yeah, I like my fucking oatmeal lumpy
Rachel's alright, but you know what? I don't like Rachel's fucking attitude anymore. So why don't you go slap her? I would never slap her
Me and my wife used to fantasize about hanging around with Rachel Ray and thinking that we would have a real good time
Was it at the same time you guys would do this? Yeah, you would have like a you'd have a weird
three-way no
Like fantasy was there any sex involved? Oh, man. No, it was just her cooking for you. Yeah
We would be even weirder
We would be hanging out getting high and
She'd be cooking and stuff and be really cool to us, but you know, I know that that's not true man
She is a fucking a shill for the government. Yeah, man. Who isn't though?
Some people are everything. Oh most are
Larry everything's a conspiracy. Well, not so much the conspiracy is everything's a lie. Well, I mean
everything
every single thing
Well, if it's I mean, what do you mean? Everything's a lie if it's on TV. Oh, well, it's fake
Yeah, where do you think TV started from?
Movies and shit, you know making up these
scenarios the same people that own Fox own
C CNN and so it's a media conglomerate
So what they do they fucking program one thing one way heavy heavily
Hey, Larry, and then they have the other thing programming for the other people to watch the other side to watch
Larry don't watch it. They're still giving I know I'm just saying here's what they're doing to the masses
And they're still watching something or another you go everybody's watch you go to sleep to that shit
And it's not of your own choice. No
And you're getting indoctrined with fucking
They are burning it into your head
Fall asleep fucking talking about Ukraine and no way
You know Larry the leaning left no more Bon Rock for dude, man. I used to
I used to be a gym bonkers
I used to be a real hard lefty man. I know you were I mean you couldn't get more left
Oh, you probably could I'll maybe a little bit but yeah, but I really you know
I was as fucking lefty and liberal as you could be and I don't know maybe it's just cuz I'm old
No, I'm fucking that's what happens though
Yeah, I think there has I don't know if it's I put up from making a farce here
But I think it's younger Democrat older Republican. Yeah, but I think a lot of it was I might have been brainwashed before I believe
You're also heavily sedated on multitudes of drugs. I mean
Miss Vanessa I was on a multitude
Three different
When they said something on the news that it was true like this plane crashed and we can't find it now when they say
Shit like that. I know that they probably needed someone dead that was on the plane and the reason they can't find it
Is cuz they don't want you to hit yeah every time
Like they were just talking about the dude the presidential candidate not even the president
They just whacked his ass by the way
I would like to put out there that I am not suicidal in any way safer for
Okay
When it looks like they fucking me it looked like I killed myself you guys will know that that is
Is total bullshit and that they killed me okay, who's gonna kill you? I don't know they
And now you're making me paranoid
It's not cool
Just chilling over here and you're saying people are coming in
In the basement with you sucker. I mean, you know just no you don't know
If they you know how they make people look like they committed suicide that they want dead dude
You already look half dead right?
Yeah, we even open your eyes
Oh my god, that's all right though
So if somebody comes and kills you then what and they make it look like suicide, okay?
You'll know that that's a lie, you know, I know what that be. Yeah, I mean come on man good
You're having way too much conspiracy because you know some people they saying crazy stuff on the internet about the government
There's no reason they'd want to kill you
Yeah, and by the way if anyone does ever want to commit suicide out there, please don't do it
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He even has if you need excuses. He's got an alibi thing
Stop the alibi plan what for your wife talking about top three clinic when you go there to get something cleared up and then
You know like VD. Yeah, and he's yeah, and you're the vaguest motherfucker right now
He's even got a little book of alibis to choose from and people you know full numbers that you call and they go
Yeah, yeah, I was with them not Tuesday or whatever, you know, what are you talking?
You think about life talking about a second. So you okay see
We're talking about all the services that time
No, but you go to the places don't have you go to the clinic and then he gives you pills for your VD
But technically now your old ladies got VD and now it's just a vicious circle
So what you know do you know what you do Larry? No slip the medication in your wife's drink
Yeah, here you want to high balls? I had this girl. Yeah, we we passed back. Are we doing Tom's free clinic then?
Yeah, I wish I would have fucking known Tom Tom's free clinic back in the day to two two one seven seven eight two
That's Tom's free clinic Burwin, Illinois
Yeah, cuz you know you know it is when you're passing shit back and forth with your girlfriend and you never heal up
And it's going on and on and on. No, I don't know what that's like Larry. I had a girlfriend that we would pass shit back and forth. I had a girlfriend who gave me a chef's feedies
You know, no, I don't know because Tom's knows how to take care of shit like that. We're still back in town
Though he just ended it. Okay with my Paul's boutique like ending. They gave us an extra
Bonus to go a little longer on the advertising
Even giving him business. Yeah, yeah, like we said 15% off when you tell him that Larry and needle sent you
Even though most things are already free unless it's something very complicated
Never trust a guy with the thom name
Real shiesty motherfucker
He used to be an autumn
I thought he was a vet. He is a vet
He's a vet too, but he used to be
Big hands
Nothing worse than getting a prostate exam with by a man with big hands. He's got grease under his nails
Oh, I thought he was done being a mechanic. I know he still does on the side
Oh, man, it's a
It's a free clinic of that and a mechanic shop. Do they all share the same register?
No, they all have separate licenses. No the same register to pay with so there's like greasy handprints on the register
No, no, it's real professional
It doesn't sound like it you pay for the car shitting back you pay for the veteran area and free clinic shitting front
I don't like that the cats and humans mix and coexist in the same place
I mean, we sure all have our own
It's a little weird. Well, what do you mean you should say something
Tom's only hired the best people man. I'm not talking about the people. I'm talking about the layout
Hey, you know, they do what they do. It's not like Tom is back there working on cars. They only get in like if something really
Fucking complicated. They can't figure something out. He had blown tranny. Yeah, and we're not talking about transmission
He has a lot of blown trannies in there
A lot of in fact they got tranny Tuesday
They got everything front and back. I would say taco Tuesday and tranny Tuesday
If you're free or post up
Free taco examination
Cats are next merch at Tom's
Oh
Man so seriously today was a really crazy day and it's really been a good week because I jammed with my boys all week
Because sugar baby summer guys in elgin fucking my boys here in this here area
I want to say my tongue. I mean you might as well say because you just said everything close here
Yeah, but that's fucking it's a big world, you know and uh
So in today man one of my buddies power washed my fence for me. We got high really stoned and
And I'm still so fucking I want to say so much right now, but I don't know who's listening so I can't
Yeah, you know, the bots are listening
Huh, you know all of our
Fans are listening our only fans girls. Oh Jesus here we go. Is this what you're going into already?
It's not even close to the end of the episode
You're wondering you're starting out chicks for sending you nudes and they're probably not even real. They're probably
Yeah
It's a robot wrecking your meat that fake women, you know, we're not gonna make me I got I'm looking at them
My wife is right there
Huh, my wife is right there. Jesus. What kind of freak is shit are you into?
I'm not well, you know, I'm just looking at my laptop. It's not like I'm fucking beating off to it. I'm just
Get yourself all ready
Prime in the motor
Give it a couple of chokes before daddy takes it out
Exactly. Yeah, I know how you work Larry. I mean you were wearing a fucking robe earlier
Jesus never trust a man with a robe
Hey, you know when you got a fucking need like comfort. I don't like that
You know creeps me out. I don't want to be standing next to a guy in a robe ripping heaters. I don't like that at all
Yeah, well
Here's the thing I
Had to do all this shit and I got to jump out of the pool
I mean, it's like we're at some Colombian Coke party and then you take it off and I mean fucking
I
Because I got to take out my swimming trunks right away because man, I'm fucking cold when I get out and I want to
Have him be dry for the next time I put him on because
My wife's gonna be like
Go go to Walgreens or something. Give me my fucking M&Ms. Yeah
And so I'm gonna have to do all this shit. So I got to put a shirt on
And then if I take my trunks off the bottom of the well to go in Walgreens, right the scooter
Then you could dry it off. It doesn't dry out fast enough. Then my shirt's all wet and shit
That's a white fucking white trash fucking hand dryer right there
Just doing 40 down the side streets on your scooter all ripped on bongs
I went and got a five gallon
Take of gas on the scooter today
Do you ever unbutton the shirt and just let it fly behind you like you have wings like you're an angel
Larry the angel on his scooter
The other thing is so if you notice the shirt is these high. Oh got cut. It's got a high cut out. Yes
So that flies and wins it shows off your fucking and what's it called your love handles. Yeah
Is your love window
Well, yeah, that's I don't trust a guy in a robe. That's all I'm saying
Well, you could trust me needles. No, I don't know about that. I mean, especially when you have a robot
I don't know what you're just kind of what you guys are up to
You know, there's a pineapple in the front. I'll never hurt you
What's that? I'll never hurt you. No, you'll be gentle
and like that Larry thanks
Don't break my heart
Which is very funny. I appreciate that. I had my bush cut into a pineapple shape. Did you see that in the front?
No, that was gonna go with something else. That'd be funny. You just have a pineapple above your dong
There's no need for that
That would be very funny. I wonder if they have I wonder if that's like an art or something or they'd shave stuff into pubes
We've got to be like you only got a murderous flag on a chair
I don't know
A pokemon all kinds of shit. Yeah Pikachu looking up at you. Yeah looking up
That sounds very intriguing
I mean now you're into 3d pubare
Which is very funny. My brother's into these 3d pictures man. He he does this uh photography
Shout out nurse no shirt. Nick. Yeah where he takes two pictures
At the distance of how far your eyes would be apart
and then
Of the same thing, you know what I mean? And then you look at him and you kind of cross your eyes a little until the pictures become one
Yeah, it's like
And it is 3d as fuck man. It's really wild. I got some of them. I like oh that shit's doing it's crazy
That's like some that's the government shit right there. It's getting in your brain. That's mk ultra. Yeah, that's mk ultra right there
Next thing you know
Well, it's crazy that your nails it's crazy that you can take pictures like that now at you know on regular gear or home
You know, you don't have to be hollywood to get a 3d picture or something or you and he even made some movies too
Yeah, so you could do with movies and you had to do it with two cameras at once of course, but
It's got you know how you figure out how far they need to be apart and what angle or whatever and it is a fucking awesome effect, man
I'll take a look at it. Yeah, he's a smart motherfucker, man. It's crazy very talented. It's really cool. You got your hit list
Yeah, man
Of course, we already shouted out toms
I'd like to
He just did a whole you know, yeah keep on going
I just shot out my cats, harmony and Helena you started them with the bed the front now not the back
All right
Shout out to the air Clara
Jay Jessica
First uh, Mary that's my wife. She's the best she sometimes listens Jay sharey
Sherry's a follower Tiffany
Tiffany yeah, Chrissy Chrissy. Hey, we're land Becky land Becky hascola has gone
Zodiac, I hope you listen so buddy
No shirt Nick Chris Matthew. You better brother Chris
Russ
Love filter Frank mr. X
Mr. X
Also, man. I gotta say we lost a follower and
It's really a bummer. I'll tell you one follower Larry's all but her
Following and listening as I really appreciate it. We love you. It's really fucking cool. I can get his address
We'll put it out over the yeah, you have to you have to confront Larry if you unfollow us
He'll come over his scooter
Hell no, man. You got no worries following us. I didn't mean to interrupt you Larry. It's gonna ruin your logarithm
Algorithm
Sounds like you've been hanging out in the timber yard with the boys
If you follow us it might you know your phone might start getting weird shit
To say we're to follow us at at Larry and needles twitter. Yeah
at Larry needles twitter and uh
The Larry needles show at yahoo dot com like follow subscribe tell somebody leave a review. Yeah, most important
Down one by one. Yeah, and if you want to if you want to email something to us today yahoo thing
That'd be cool because male or something email email man. Yeah, I understand. I mean, did I say male? No, I said
That'd be amazing because uh
Most of the feedback I get are people that actually uh
either tell me to my face directly who know who I am or
Text me and told me but it would be cool if someone uh
Reached out man and gotten scored themselves a fucking t-shirt or something, you know
His needles is gonna pay for everything to send it out for and that
That's all gonna be on him
Which I don't mind at all Larry I mean that's fine. You want a fucking t-shirt. I'll fucking send it to you
Just send us your address. We know all your fucking names. We know everybody on the list. You don't want a t-shirt piss off
Anything else? No, that's not nice. No, I know
What's wrong with you? Someone's gonna get offended
Oh
We can get an offensive stuff if you want
Dude man, I've I I have said some offensive shit today and I'm really you don't even remember it though
No, it's never happened part exactly
It's almost like I was not offensive
If you're blacked out then it doesn't never happen
You know blacked out on weed. Oh my dad came over today. Shut up big Joe
Norm came over today in neighbor. Yeah, the old men convention. Yeah, it was fun though
They have a good time, you know, because they bullshit about the old days
And norm is like I don't know. He says
I think he said he was 70 or 72 or something
That's not bad
Looks a little older
Just spent fucking hitting cigars in old style in the fucking in the garage for the last two decades
Oh, fuck
Yeah, just what he also in a man. He's been working in shit too. And he also has an impeccable fucking lawn
He does. He's very meticulous with his lawn. Yes. He's got definitely he's got the best lawn on the entire block
Bad lawn man, you know, no, and it is amazing the way he takes care of it. Yeah, that motherfucker gets down
Well, which is very good. And today I'm glad I'm today. I'm glad my homie fucking
Can power wash the gutters on my garage who did?
James. Oh, yeah, man
That was very nice of him. Yeah, that was because you don't want to do it
No, and plus, you know what he's gonna do a better job anyway. Yeah, you probably hurt yourself
Yeah, three foot through your arm. I hurt marry your son with sprayer on an accident. Yeah, he put a hole in the cat
Let me see how powerful this thing actually is. No, no, you probably look at it. Oh, I do. You put it right in your eyes
Is this on?
Ah
Fucking pirate patch Larry
I told him to sit on your other side. Yeah. I told him to power wash the stones over the cat graves
I wonder if he did that
You know, I got those like sidewalks. Yeah, there's five cat graves
It's like pet cemetery and the best is it's barely on the neighbor's property. You know, that's probably where they go
They don't want to go into your yard. They want to go away from your property
He's got cat souls in the back. No, man. Yeah, you're good. What do you mean? They're good
My cats were all really good. What do people usually do with animals? They throw them in the garbage, right?
Isn't that terrible?
What I would want to throw my cat in the garbage
Oh, my cats croak if I find the bodies I definitely I bury him if I can
That's creepy. I just hope that it's not too like the dead of winter
So you got to dig a hole in the middle of the winter. It's very hard
But you have to tell me suck. I know I know, you know, it's almost like right before it gets real cold
I almost want to
And see but that's like bad to dig a grave before I can't die. You want to pre-dig cat graves?
Just in case one of them dies in the winter. What is this? The fucking trail of tears?
They walk and walk until they die. Yeah, let me bury him in my back. No, I mean Jesus christ
You're gonna take up the whole side over there
Well, here's the thing here's the thing I told you what the thing is Larry
I told you this before when Julie came
Yeah to mark all the things in my yard
I paid close attention to where there was nothing at all
And I said pre marked out my head one day there. It's going to be the cat grave yard
cat grave yard
Right behind the garage on the neighbor's fence line. I mean it's literally a half a foot from their fence
He just got what five of them there, right? No, it's not that many four
That's just as much any more than one Larry
I mean he just can't have multitudes of cat graves. It's my friends man. I got him right up against the fence
Yeah, that shit seeps into the neighbors yard
It's not like it's getting into the water supply or something. No, not at all, but I mean those fucking cats man
I put them in pillowcases
You know a little no, I don't know integrity when you bury them
And then I put those rocks on those big stones on top those square
And that keeps any animals from digging them up
So eventually when the big government takes over and they tear down all our houses and maybe they'll see the cat bones
Yeah, there'll be no more middle class while they've been high rises and eat rule
Yeah, and be forced to fucking that's when
That's when they're not going to notice those bones build a fucking high rise apartment on there and that mother fucking place will be haunted
Actually with crazy what we're going to do is we're going to come back when that happens
Dig the cats up make bone fucking chain mail out of them and hopefully those six cats
Take your soul over and you get to fight the government
The only one you need for your soul is Jesus my friend. I'm just saying like a superpower
You just can take it over until you have a task to perform larry. Jesus. Cat man larry
No, but they'll see what it's like to be 32 claws of death
They'll be haunted by some fucking crazy ass fucking cats
Who the people who
Dig up the bones. Yeah, they live on that. You made a bowl out of one of them
Here's the thing though. Some people you know
Some people would want cat bones. Yeah
Yeah, do some weird rituals and shit. Oh, yeah, man. They probably grind that shit down and snort it
Oh for sure. I don't you probably that's not good for your cilia or anything your nasal cavity
No, you gotta do that anally
Two sounds like you know from experience. Yeah
Oh cat dust for sure, dude. That's what they call it cat on the streets cat dust
Ground up cat bones. Let me tell you got a whole market for that boys sound they call it kitty dust
Pussy dust
Which sounds very very good as if the hose call it
pussy dust, oh man
I'm covering all the bases with that cat bone dust and the blues musicians carrying around the black cat bone
Ward off evil
Are you just making this up? No, man. It says so right in the muddy waters fucking tune
Okay, I believe you. I mean, I don't know with you sometimes. You don't even know where you're at right now
I know that though
I don't know where I'm at, but I know that
You just know facts right now that I'm in my basement. Far away from anything else. All right. We good kiddo
Oh, man, I'm good. All right. I love you Larry. I love you two needles. Hey everybody. Thanks for tuning in
We love our listeners. I'm Larry and I'm needles
Man, you're so stone. Have a great fucking evening
Peace out