time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show
well that's how it goes man
whether it's a win or not right?
yeah it'll start up again
welcome to Larry and Needles show just in case
I'm Larry and I'm the fourth of July festivities
I'm Needles
and we're trying to figure out what's going on here
we wanted to do something sort of
patriotic so we're gonna let other people
like fight a workshop
even though I'm always patriotic
fuck I ain't dude
it's the most patriotic thing you do
I do everything I do with paint
you're gonna cut your grass
it's not patriotic at all
I fucking go work at the voting booths every fucking time
yeah you know I'm surprised they haven't caught you guys putting an extra bag
that's pretty patriotic
it's a TAMINY PALL
happy fourth of July
that was a nice big one
it's a 1008 and people are still lighting shit off
people got a little work here
we're gonna load this shit up
we'll see what happens alright
I got some fireworks myself like I said
yeah I know but what are you gonna do with them though
you're gonna light them off tonight
or are you just gonna save them for a random day
aww
you should probably light them tonight
since I got them from Don Anford last
fourth of July
those were the ones that were sitting on the table
yeah
these guys really love America
yeah
is that how you show your patriotism
that's how many fireworks you have
to spend
that's gotta be like a dad thing
oh yeah it's just fun
it's fun
for who
for everyone involved man
I mean
the amount of accidents that happen to the skyrocket
which no pun is intended
how many people are losing fingers today
I mean there's gonna be videos out
there's gotta be videos out already of bad fireworks shows or something going on
yeah
it comes to army
okay
so
we wanna see what happens
hopefully these guys can celebrate
nothing's gonna happen man
not for like a mass shooting or anything
there's no
there won't be a shooting
where? here
tonight? oh not in this neighborhood I hope
but there's gonna be plenty of shootings
yeah I don't know what you're talking about
the numbers have already
we could probably look them up right now
we probably could
there's probably already a lot of numbers then
should I just look up Chicago shooting for today
and see what happens
okay
but it's crazy that they were trying to crack down on people
shooting firearms
that was a nice one
but they were trying to crack down on
people using fire
shooting firearms
in New Year's
you know what I mean
which makes perfect sense man
what do you mean that people should be shooting guns
in a place where we're in the murder capital of the United States
even though Kansas City
they're fucking
banging right now they got a hold of it
really? yeah
I've been there, were it Missouri or Kansas?
Kansas City
Kansas
well no because it was Kansas City, Missouri too
yeah I'm talking about Kansas City, Kansas
sucka
Jesus Christ
how would I know
53 shot 11 fatally
hmm
it's pretty crazy man
there's a lot of shootings isn't it man
53 in one weekend that's fucking nuts dude
Chicago shooting stats
I don't know
it says it looks like
there aren't many great matches for your search
okay
so I mean
Chicago shooting
4th of July let's do that
watch them go up
like a ticker
I mean
like the COVID death counter
that Fauci had going back in the day
5 dead at least
33 wounded
and this is
one day ago
oh shit man I forgot
you know what it's so sad that I completely forgot about this
Highland Park
Highland Park what?
mass shooting was a year ago
oh it was the 4th of July
I forgot about that
that's literally
it's from here man
well I know about 15 minutes
but yeah it's close
it's close
when they had that
fucking kid
tranny fucking
supposedly on a roof
that supposedly the only
the FBI supposedly didn't check
man we get lied to so hard
well it's fucking brutal
it should happen
shit doesn't really just happen
they just land there
well you know
he's probably MK ultra
I'm sure he was MK ultra
they should kill that guy
these people are just a fucking strain on society
I mean
fuck
5 dead
at least 30
it doesn't really say
it doesn't
well it should have updated right
it's not the most exciting thing to update
it's pretty fucking morbid
it's very grim in fucking macabre
at the same time
but also
everything is marred by what's going on
in this society right now
I mean these fucking people are running rampant
and just shooting their cops
like it's no big deal
you know
like you used to have some sort of respect for the law
the freak thing is they're not in decency yet
maybe we should go out there
huh
I think we're fine here
look all my fingers where they should be
we're poor neighbors they got two young kids
who
the kids know
they understand
no I'm not saying that
people are trying to sleep
wait until I shoot one of them bottle rockets
in the window
you're laying on your back with your legs up
I'm gonna want something
I'm gonna have to get one of those
real life metal
I'm gonna need a piece of metal covering my shit
to put in your ass
and shoot it out of there
we can get you a bottle
cover my bottle
that's more your style
we're gonna blow up the drummer
for fucking murdering boundaries
we're gonna have to go to Walgreens and get a glass bottle
we got one
you get a glass bottle we can put in your head
yeah man
I don't know though why do people keep on killing in Chicago
why do people I mean
did you see about this
the guy who killed in Philadelphia
five people
he had
he posted a picture
of himself
it was a male
they killed all these people
then he posted a picture of himself
in women's clothes
with earrings on
and stuff like that
wow
so
I kinda like the hot shot
serial killer
who's that
what the fuck man we had an episode named
I know what I'm just saying I don't know
the fucking guy in Portland
that was dressed as a woman
luring men and giving them hot shots
and raping women
I forgot
you forgot about that
I'm a fucking buzz
I really forget about that it was so awesome
come here Mary share that cigarette with me
what was so awesome
hot shot killer
what did you do with the other
cigarettes
what other cigarettes
yeah where did my eaters go
shit man
you ever see
they were up your ass you know where they were
remember he said bring the ones
yeah they're probably in the car
there's only one or two left though
wasn't like it was a carton of cigarettes
I got to see some
works
we could shut these lights down
it sounded like the
room was exploding
we had 11 bottle rackets
it was
it was a car
who was going around
maybe
it seemed pretty close
what's that
fireworks yeah they're fucking
right across the street
we should go out there man
no we should not
why
neighbor
cause that's what they want
they're drunk shirmy neighbors
come back
it's Polish
I think Tony gets it wrong
I saw Tony today cutting the lawn
really?
at the corner and uh
he flick you off? no man
we waved to each other his hair was white
dude he had not a black
hair left on his head it was
completely fucking gray
wouldn't yours too
I mean Jesus if you live that kind of existence
you're literally the last house
on the left
he's actually the last house
in the right
if you're looking at it straight
it's the last house on the left
you can come ass
he's the first house on the left
if you're looking at it straight
like this
last house on the left
Jesus
I say okay
do I gotta draw you a fucking picture
it's gonna say dummy with an arrow
you're coming down the street
if you're giving directions to the pizza guy
I know but if I said if you're looking at it
I said if you're looking at it
three times
looking at it
in the street
looking at it
fucking asshole
why do you think
it's here to shock white from something Lily did
or
repercussions
repercussions from Colleen
hey
are we gonna really use this
yeah
this is our independence episode
I don't think we're gonna be able to hear our voices
over these bombs
you shouldn't do it
I wanna hear it though
I don't know why this thing's not going
man you rolled this bitch way
oh yeah it's better than enjoying your rolls
dude look at Mary
she's disgusted with you
she's like
I ate nine capsules and you guys are idiots
there we go finally
nah it's not roll too much
you can't open that bitch up dude
I'm about to do that to you too
well that's because it's fucking juiced up from all the resin man
we got it
oh my ass hurts
wait and hear the loud scream
after the bang
I told you
I'm not gonna tell you twice
where's the joke
where's the joke you could
what did you say to a girl who's got two black eyes
nothing
she already been told twice
so bad
I should have played back
I told Sherry today I'm fucking
misogynistic and I'm fucking proud of it
Jesus man
and that's it
you didn't say anything
she said yeah that's good
she co-signed your bullshit
you're a fucking retard
no because
too many people are pussy
it's good to be misogynistic once in a while
where did you come up with this
I don't know
we need to have your tape on something
listen to that going on back there
wow
sounds like World War II
bad little bunker hill
hamburger hill
sounds like when you go down to Boyce
you're a boy
fuck
they're still going
they're having a little something getting shot in the head
they want something more like a gunshot
if you go over there it's like
like an irish rainbow
which is a good dead irish
sounds like it's coming from over those apartments that way
I don't know
it was somewhere off in the distance that
that direction
I doubt we'd hear a gunshot from this far away though
hopefully the house will block us
probably
listen to this
that was a fucking cannon left over from the revolutionary war
it didn't even
it wasn't even like when you shoot it
out of the tube it goes up
boom and that makes another one
it just blew up in his front yard
that guy's missing an arm
no one screamed that down
his wife sent him off
you're like this one George
you're going stupid
there's another hams like this
the poor guy's going to show up to work missing two fingers
oh man Mary they had hams
at the fucking liquor store we went to today
by Virginia's
and I got so excited
he really did which is hilarious
I'm going to buy me a 12 pack of hams
next time I see it
they make the greatest tea drinks
did you ever try hams?
Olympia
Olympia is not as good as hams
hams is okay
hams is from the land of sky blue water
better pissing it dude
they should have seen that fucking thing dude
but what do you call it
they used those exact waters
they said it's from the land
well where did the better piss than it
dude they're hunting waters
whatever
was it fucking Bobby kissing dudes
tell us about how much they shit in the fucking
tanks
I don't know if it was that episode
no shout out steamboat
keep kissing dudes
he was saying that they got to recycle
that tank
the bare water tank
changes the water like once an hour
the whole tank
and filters it
because the bare water is shit
it's a fucking live animal
it doesn't shit that much but it fucking
but you know it acts like it's in the river
in the river are you talking about a polar bear
dude
did you even marry laugh dude
you laugh because it makes sense
no it does not make sense
he thinks he's in a river
he thinks he's in a polar bear in a river
polar bear
polar bears aren't in the river
tick motherfucker
I didn't say polar bear you're the one that said polar bear
I just said bears
how many fucking bears do they have in enclosures
at the fucking zoo
they got bears there
yeah they do
polar bears are the fucking
no the bears that Robert was working on
and that motherfucker was not a polar bear
thing it was for
brown bears
oh yeah
yeah
I would put sausages in your pocket
and shove you
dude he's the greatest video ever
thank you grizzly's always it
what did he take you
literally gets mauled by a bear
to work for you too
they used to have a polar bear
oh they still got the polar bears
the fucking cat they bear exhibited
yeah I'm sure
it's a lot sadder now
it sucks man
it lost its lost its lost
but you know here's the thing a lot of those animals
I like to think that they could be able to
make it in the wild it's not like
the old days when they went and captured
something and dragged it to a zoo
like in England or something
they're a little more humane about it
yeah now they just
capture them and separate them from their family
and then put them in a zoo
yeah they take the simple
they take the babies and they send them over
yeah they find the babies
oh here's a nest let's
drink the whole family and take the babies
that's alright
sounds very humane there
oh here we'll send this elephant to Milwaukee
we'll send this other one
an elephant's kind of weird dude
I mean you can't just send an elephant to Milwaukee
I'm talking about
polar bear babies
and you're talking about an elephant
I mean do you really shoot
elephants for a plastic accident
they got other animals besides
bears in the zoo
talking about all the animals now
they're capturing giraffes
and zebras and fucking elephants
alright calm down Noah
oh I think you understand
you just want two of everything
two leather daddies
two twinks
Larry's ultimate fucking boat
Mary had to leave
I'm not a TV fan
I don't want to remember we're fucking stupid
I love it oh you're stupid
I'm not making laugh bitch
fucking dumbass
dude we didn't bring any weed out here
I quit smoking weed
what's that? I quit
you quit smoking weed an hour ago
I've done smoking weed since when
about 30 minutes ago
dumbass
that haircut's getting to you
until you know you're going to shave your leg hair
I don't need to I have no hair
on my legs at all
it is weird wow I've never noticed that
I have no hair at all
well then your arms you do but not on your legs
very little
it wore off when you get old it wears off
wore off? yeah
leg wrestling Iranians
no from pants and shit
from pants and shit
you do
stove pipes dude and fucking skinny jeans
and all your
you're a fanox dude
Jesus dude you got twink legs
seriously
if we just showed
from the knee to the top of your ankle
you get laid on grinders
and so on
now we can't show your feet though
look at this is a grown man
he might be a kickboxer
oh man
so stupid
love it
this is going to be a banger there
I'm going to go
oh shit
fucking
damn they were still rocking bro
it's like they had to reload or something
no they just I mean
smoke a joint and light some more
I wish man fucking we should go
speed with them that's what we should do
I mean these guys
yeah smoke them up
I'm sure we just meander
over there
they're going to love that shroom in our balls
hey you guys want some weed
no they're real nice
I know that lady Kady her name is
okay
man they're coming from all around
Jesus Christ now I know what's fucking
the cadmium nam felt like
yeah I know this guy
that has PTSD
and when 4th of July comes it's like
he's like a German shepherd
that motherfucker hides in the
he fucking hides in the basement
no he doesn't
no yeah this dude that I know
she called up
he's probably online
put him on speakerphone
listen to what's going on over here
I got some of this telling you
I'm already coming to hang out
we're doing a podcast
we dug some tunnels in the basement
we dressed the cat up like Charlie
we're going to hide in these tunnels
we're going to hide in these tunnels until the fire
stop until the fire is over
don't worry about those burning sticks dude
you might want to have a fall in this pit
we could drain the pool
do something weird with that
bungee sticks and shit
dude you can fucking trap
you know what you can do you can do virtual tours now
of that shit
nam? I don't know how nam but
yeah the tunnels dude
aren't they in fucking nam
in China and in Japan
that's that nam dude that's called the country
I mean nam is the war that happened
that we lost unfortunately
Vietnam that's the country
uh huh and where's that at
well it's starting Cambodia first of all
right
I mean
how many people do we fucking
lose in Vietnam
less than we lost
to fucking fentanyl
in the last year
how about that
April 30th 1975
second of the Indochina war
North Vietnam
excuse me
South Vietnam
fuck man I mean
Jesus Christ
the way the Wikipedia has this written out man
it just looks like we got ourselves in a lot of shit we couldn't handle
Wikipedia is a bullshit
what are you talking about
it's all censored bullshit it's all fake
North Vietnam invaded Laos
in 1958
establishing the Ho Chi Minh trail
it was a logistical
network of roads and trails
that ran from North Vietnam to South Vietnam
AVRN
South Vietnamese forces
so the US involvement increased
by JFK
from just under a thousand
in 1959
to 23,000 by 1964
which doesn't seem like that much
the town we live in is less than that
yeah
I mean we probably got more people
180
we got more of our soldiers in fucking Ukraine
than that probably right now
I don't think the Ukrainian war
I think that's all mercenary shit
no
yeah I think it's all paper play
they got our boys there
yeah they do
so you're gonna tell me an American soldier
is gonna get down to Ukrainian soil
getting bombed by Ukrainians
and blaming on Russians
fucking fucks
yeah allegedly definitely
fucking allegedly
oh you know I'm right though
the war extracted
an enormous human cost
estimates
of the number of Vietnamese soldiers
and civilians killed range from
966,000
to 3 million
isn't that crazy
that's all together though
yeah that's all of them together
and it breaks it down
oh no that's just from the Vietnamese
shit
it doesn't really give me
I mean
I don't know though
it doesn't say fucking
ugh
there you go listen to this
within the United States
the war gave rise to what was referred to
as the Vietnam syndrome
a public aversion to
American overseas military involvement
which together with the Watergate scandal
contributed to the crisis
of coincidence that affected
America throughout the 1970s
so back then
there was so much shit going on
there wasn't shit going on
compared to now
but listen though
these were your
your news stories
Vietnam, Watergate
do you know what Watergate was?
when they went into the Democratic building
and they looted through some files
and they broke into a hotel
Watergate is a hotel
and they broke into someone's fucking room
man that's all they did
they do a lot more than that shit now
you ever seen Forest Gump?
no
we're Forest Gump calls
the police on the people going through Watergate
he's like uh I'm staying in this hotel
and there's people across from me
and they've got flat, you know what I mean
and he busts up Watergate
it's a great movie
fuck Tom Hanks
he's a fucking Cabales devil
maybe you should really want to fuck Tom Hanks
no
I don't like him no
I never saw any of his movies
you've never seen one movie?
I don't think so
you're probably big?
no
ummm
here we go
wasn't he Buzzing Buddies?
he played a fucking
cross dressing
so it's saying yeah
we lost
58,220 people
so that's nothing man compared to Fenton
they got a fucking
monument in Washington DC
for only 58,000 people
although they deserve
to be monumentalized
meanwhile
and they deserve it
that's why I'm reiterating
and they deserve it
they fucking have 120,000
fucking people that
died from fentanyl
so more than double
what died in Vietnam over the whole
time span
Vietnam went on for years
man you've never seen all those
servicemen come back
dropping like fucking flies
do you remember that?
they came back with good heroin habits
they were doing good shit
they came back with heroin habits
they're doing the shit today
then you come back to the state
and now you got a fucking
they've made countless movies
about servicemen being addicted
to fucking heroin
which is crazy
and numerous drugs
yeah man
full metal jacket, platoon
I didn't see all that shit
we were soldiers
you've never seen born on the 4th of july
that's a great movie
you've never seen fucking
do the deer hunter?
no
holy fuck Larry
your cinematic shit is crap
I don't watch any cinematic shit
it's all fucking brainwashing
it's all shit to make you think
something happened the way they want you to think it happened
dude there's nothing to do come on
yeah dude how are you
are you seeing taxicab?
no what's taxicab?
I've seen taxi driver
ok yeah I've seen that
deniro
but I fucking deniro's a cunt
but yeah I've seen that
sorry my bad
deniro's son
just old deed
no it's not his son it's grandson
no
oh yeah ok yeah it was
20 year old 19 year old grandson
and?
that's it man it's too bad
you didn't want me to say it happened to me
you didn't want me to say anything bad about him
well no he's dead that's you
he's dead
then here I am to make another Larry and Needle's episode
no I'm not looking for you to say anything
look at me
the fruits of my labor
sitting in a fucking
what do we call this screen porch
listen the rockets go off
shrooming my balls off with my best boy
and his rubble feet I hate those sandals
these are Jerusalem sandals
yeah they're not
they got two buckles on them
Jesus wore ones like this
no he didn't have your own
Jerusalem sandals
you're giving into them now
taking your money
those will control the weather around here
they probably something built into them
ah fuck
war is crazy isn't it
yeah man
it's all
what's that
the money thing
they're gonna show us what we want
I don't think people want this shit
here wait a second
dude there's gotta be more than
fucking
15
yeah that's someone getting popped off execution style
no
nah you know I'm kidding
that sounds a lot different than it was
it's more centralized
that's definitely in the air
yeah did you hear that was echoing
mm-hmm
that's cool
I mean coming from a place to where
ah
gunshots were rampant tonight
and people have already been murdered
I forgot the numbers already what we said
but
it's a long weekend and shit happens
and they had the fucking NASCAR thing this weekend
you didn't hear nothing about that
no
they had to cut it down from
ah yeah they had to ring the ring
until they fucking chopped it down
25 laps
well not well
there's a rule that
specifies how many
half
the halfway point of a race
plus this and that
how many laps
are your boys coming up to twerryfinkels
oh
that's your call that's like your Batman signal
it's time to go kiss dudes in the park
nah they fucking cut it down
cause of darkness man
who
it's cause of fucking rain and shit dude
but they still stopped it it's
like fucking last
lightning
I don't think it was
less than 75 it doesn't
only complete like 25 or 30
oh man
oh I know the whole race
was supposed to be 100 laps
that's it really
NASCAR stinks
well but it's a lot fucking
bigger of a lap than normal
because they're going around the city streets
yeah
hey what the fuck is that episode
done can we load it up now
yeah let's load it up
let's end this episode
and get it ready
where's big red
alright thanks for listening to Larry
Needles show
I'm Needles
I'm Larry
we probably won't air this
no we will we're definitely gonna do it
alright thanks for listening man
we love you seriously we appreciate it
peace