Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.
Music
How's that, butter?
That cat.
I don't think our listeners are like that.
Yeah, they fucking hate that shit.
Hey, I'm not needles, this is the Larry and Needles show.
Hashtag I'm not needles.
Hi, I'm Needles.
Hashtag thank god I'm not needles.
We're giving you a special daytime towards the end of the week episode.
Yeah, today it's funny because you know my wife is like,
because we've been having probably a lot of people around the United States know what I'm saying,
that we've been having some really, really poor air quality,
especially here in Chicago and whatnot.
I think it's centralized.
Centralized fucking central nervous system.
New York, Detroit.
Anyhow, my wife is like, oh, to the smoke.
She's like, I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
And I'm like, oh yeah, you know, neither can I.
And she's like, we got to turn on the air conditioning.
I'm like, fuck, are you kidding me with that fucking air conditioning all the time with that shit?
So you're complaining about keeping your wife comfortable.
Because I remind all the listeners that you are a sugar baby.
No, no, let's remind them.
Tell them I'm a sugar baby.
It doesn't mean I got to be unnecessarily stuffed in a fucking box with air conditioning.
So you'd rather have all the windows open with the air quality being shit?
Well, you know, this is one of the times when I didn't even,
I didn't really argue with her today because I know that the air quality was shit.
But you still did argue with her.
No, no, I didn't.
I said, okay.
At first I was going to start and then I thought, I just fucking, I'll give it to her next time.
You're such a gentleman.
You know what I mean?
Listen, the chivalry is not dead.
Let me keep my wife from fucking not breathing in the hazard.
What is it all?
What's that?
Wiki stick from El Dehae?
From El Dehae.
Well, we don't know exactly what's in the air around here, but...
Well, they tested it.
The EPA tested it.
Yeah, but well, they said, but Mary said that test was from Michigan.
Okay, but still.
But I know we're going to stay away and shit.
Yeah, we're still closer to the source.
Yeah, I mean...
And you're no stranger to smoking from El Dehae.
Oh, man, let me tell you, I had a good run with Wiki for a while.
I'm sure you did.
That shit makes you fucking gnaw on seats, dude.
Let me tell you.
It stuff is not to be messed with.
I was in Humboldt Park and we were smoking it and it made me feel like a god.
I can fly.
Well, no, no, no, not that.
I know, but people do jump off of buildings on that stuff.
I'm not that type of person.
Yeah, I know even as high as I get, even when I think the sink is a snake, I still know that I can't fly.
Yeah, or...
And I'm not going to jump off often.
You're still in somewhat sort of control, right?
You haven't crossed that fucking...
You're on the precipice of losing it.
Yeah, but you know, just because I know that I can't fly still doesn't mean I was in control at that time.
Or you didn't want to.
But you just didn't act on it.
Yeah, we all have those dreams that you can fly, right?
It's so fucking cool.
No, the worst is falling, I think.
Oh, yeah.
Falling dreams.
I mean, but yeah, I've had a flying dream once or twice.
I used to do like a meditation and it would tell, that's what it would entail, was to picture yourself flying.
Yeah.
Now, when you do your falling dreams, are you falling forward or backward or do you don't know?
Forward, sometimes horizontal, sometimes perpendicular.
I'm always falling backwards on my back in those dreams.
I mean, that just goes, probably, be one of your gay dreams.
Yeah.
Literally fucking...
Wouldn't I fucking be falling ass up then?
I mean, it's your dream, man.
Whatever you want to do it.
It sounds like it's your gay dream.
No, it doesn't.
You're the one who said it was your...
Fuck it, motherfucker.
I don't like that holy tap water in this room.
And most demons don't like tap water, yeah, I can understand that.
Well, Chicago has some of the best tap water.
I mean, it's not just tap water, it's holy water.
Blessed by Larry.
Blessed by Sir Larry Jones.
Sir, all of a sudden now you're Sir Larry Jones?
Yeah, I got knighted over the weekend.
Yeah, I bet you you did.
You got a dong on your shoulder.
Jesus, man, who'd you get knighted by?
I'm kidding, man.
Obviously, I know you're kidding because it's a huge ceremony.
Yeah, I would never switch my fucking loyalty.
You're lying to...
You don't want to go to fucking the queen.
No.
Well, there is no queen anymore.
Who knows what's going on there?
King.
Well, yeah.
King Charles.
But that lineage, man, them fucking people.
I remember going to like six flags, you know, when I was younger with some girlfriend and
they had these t-shirts that you can get or, you know, like an iron-on thing and they would put...
They put my face in Prince Charles' face and they put her face in Princess Diana's face.
What?
Yeah.
They have four heads on her.
No, dude, they take your face and superimpose it in the Prince Charles area.
And they took her face and stuck it in where Princess Diana...
She had a crown on.
Dude, it looked...
You know, it was 1980s fucking trick photography t-shirt from fucking Great America.
Yeah.
Well, it doesn't sound like it's very art-worthy.
Did you wear the shirt with your girlfriend?
No, she only had one.
Oh, you didn't get one?
Fuck no.
So you made her as her she got one?
I didn't...
She wanted it, not me.
I didn't want it.
I couldn't stand that, bitch.
You were at Great America with her.
I couldn't stand her so much I went to an amusement park with her.
She paid.
She paid what?
She paid for everything.
Well, yeah, because you're a sugar baby at heart.
We all know that.
Since way back.
I know, man.
I mean, listen, you don't fucking break the mold at all.
Fucking since I was a teen.
You know, did you ever do an old-timey photo with her?
No, no.
I don't have time to sit for that.
What do you mean?
No, I don't know.
I never did...
I was always jealous of my cousins though because they had an old-timey photo of their
entire family and they looked like they're 49ers, like 1849ers digging, panning for gold.
Like the fucking, the gold miners.
Yeah, yeah, and I always fucking wish, you know, and I told my dad, why don't we have
a picture like that?
He's like, fuck that shit.
Because we're not gay.
Exactly.
We ain't for nooks.
So we never did that, but...
I think you and I should do one.
All right.
That would be pretty silly.
I mean, you can dress up like the lady and I'll be the man.
How about, uh, okay, sure.
Look at that, no interjections at all.
Yeah, you'll be the...
You can't even go.
I don't want to get too vulgar.
Oh, now you don't want to get too vulgar?
I don't want to insult our listeners.
Oh, Jesus.
Too much fucking...
Oh, eight of them you don't want to insult?
Yeah, by the way...
Seven-eighths of our friends.
Eight people out there.
They are fucking badass.
Thank you for listening.
And that doesn't fucking...
It doesn't, uh...
That doesn't include Chrissy.
We already know you're gonna listen.
No, but that's not a reflection of how many people listen to us.
Which is hilarious, because we're gonna sit here and complain.
Whatever.
Are you complaining?
No, I'm not saying we're complaining.
We're bringing it up.
There's only one idiot here.
Well, quick point to yourself.
It's not me.
Looking at yourself in the mirror.
It's definitely not me.
That guy there's two idiots.
You dumbass.
You know, I'm not gonna get too vulgar.
You know, you weren't such a white supremacist.
I'd fucking do something to you right now.
Oh, kiss me?
Weirdo.
Yeah.
Um, what the fuck?
I had some stuff here written down.
I can't seem to find it.
Alright, well, entice my ears with your content.
Ah.
What do you got?
Oh, did you hear Biden say at some speech?
He says, oh, when he was with the guy from India, you know, he had the meeting with the
guy from India, the president.
Is he a president or a prime minister?
I don't know what the hell they had.
But he said he wanted to have the meeting because it's the least he could do.
We took their land and shit, you know.
Who said that?
Biden.
How'd we take their land?
Dude, don't you get it?
Indians?
He's a fucking idiot.
He thought it was.
American.
I know that's what I'm saying.
I totally got it.
Wait a second.
Did you hear everybody's jaws drop to the floor?
No, but here's what he didn't call them.
Shocking Zulu.
No, he didn't say it to the Indian guy, but the Indian guy busted out laughing when they
were doing a little thing.
And Biden says, I sold a lot of state secrets and a lot of things were shared.
And the Indian guy looks over at it and is like, what the fuck?
This is not a microphone?
Yeah, in front of a lot of people.
And he's like, did you just fucking say that?
Did you spill the beans, Joe?
Yeah, it was fucking funny.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
Did you see it?
It was pretty funny, man.
Okay, so then I mean...
I don't even know how to...
I mean, if you did that...
He just said it out loud.
On a hot mic.
Yeah.
And then, you know what?
And the leftist probably like, ah, he's joking.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's the excuse always.
Yeah, because, you know, because he's old and senile and he jokes a lot.
You know, he likes to sniff children's hair.
I know.
Just because he's joking.
Yeah, because...
You know what I mean?
Well, he's been doing that since before he was old and senile.
Well, I mean, there's video evidence of it.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's not...
Like, listen, there's no...
Oh, how about...
Wait, there's no video evidence of Clinton assaulting anyone.
No.
There's no video...
There's dress...
There's stains on dresses.
Yeah, but I mean, they did do a DNA test on it.
Yeah.
I think they did.
I don't know.
I think Monica Lewinsky licked the stain and said, no, no, that's somebody else.
But imagine the pervert that buys that dress and then predominantly displays it in their abode.
Oh, yeah, man.
They probably got it, you know, like when people get a fucking jersey or their favorite sports
guy in its autograph and they buy one of them glass.
Larry, this is completely different.
This is not from a president and a woman's dress.
No, I know.
But listen to what I'm saying, you fucking chuch.
They probably buy one of those glass things that they display the jerseys in.
Oh, you were talking about the framing.
Yeah.
My apologies, Larry.
Yeah.
Okay.
I understand that.
You know, they treat it like, wow, look at that.
Yeah, but you gotta preserve the nut.
No, that would be good.
You could put a black light on there.
I don't think you need to.
It's nuts stains.
Yeah, but listen, it would make that shit pop.
Didn't he penetrate her with a cigar?
I don't know.
I penetrated this chick once with this...
I forget it.
Jesus, Larry.
That got pretty dark pretty quick and then you stopped it.
Wait a minute.
Here's what it was.
Wait a minute.
Allegedly.
I was in high school and it's not legit.
They were selling these huge fucking candy canes that were like, I don't know, man.
The things were like 10 inches long and like three inches, four inches around.
And I'm like, I bought one and I brought it home.
And I'm like, show my girlfriend.
I'm like, look at this fucking thing.
Oh yeah.
So I start fucking going, we fucking sucking and all this.
I go at it with the candy cane and she's getting into it.
For our listeners, Larry is making the most crudest gesture ever right now and it is very uncomfortable.
And you know what, if you were smart, if you were smart, you would have cut it where it bent.
Cut it there.
It didn't bend.
It was just a straight candy.
It was just a straight fucking rod.
Because then you could have dp'd her with the candy cane.
You caught her and stick it in her butt.
Well, it didn't last long.
You were the candy cane.
The candy cane action because it started burning.
You know what I mean?
The girl was starting to get burnt.
You think peppermint and the vagina.
I would see, but we were dumb fucking kids.
It doesn't sound like it from the face you made when you started telling me this story.
Yeah, but you don't realize that it's like someone putting cologne on their balls.
No, it's a little bit different.
You know that motherfucking shit is going to burn.
Have only the vagina.
Well, you know, you're not thinking and I wasn't thinking.
It just sounds like you guys were all coked out and you needed to put something in the phone.
No, there was no folk.
We were kids.
We were pretty young.
That doesn't mean anything.
Well, I wasn't, you know, it was either fucking...
You weren't indulging.
This was just an after school fucking story.
After school special?
Yeah.
Don't put peppermint in your pussy.
No, yeah, that's a fucking big no-no for everybody out there that's thinking of doing that.
Just don't do it.
Do yourself a favor.
Don't do it.
Okay, so then what happened?
She was like, ah, you know, and so we stopped.
And then you didn't stop?
No, I stopped.
And then did you lick the candy cane?
Of course.
You're lying.
No, I licked the pussy.
I said the candy cane.
Well, I...
No, I threw the candy cane out, man.
Oh, man.
Dude, it was pretty fucking...
It was, you know, starting to...
Deteriorate?
Yeah, exactly.
It had some work done to it.
It needed work done to it.
No, actually, it sounds like it had enough work done to it.
It really did not need any more.
But...
It wasn't quite getting sharp yet at the end, but it was definitely...
Well, that's probably good, because that's the last...
It was definitely deteriorating.
You murdered her pussy with the fucking candy cane?
But again, not for long, because, again, the thing started burning right away.
Doesn't that sound comfortable?
Yeah, but we were fucking dummies.
Yeah, I mean, there's still a hour, but...
So remember you were talking about those numbers last time or something about...
Well, that's kind of vague.
About what the fuck was it?
How many dudes you kissed?
No, Juneteenth.
I got the fucking numbers.
The murder numbers for the day?
Just for Chicago.
Oh, yeah, we already talked about this.
Because we were giving it a nationwide...
Right, this is...
I want to get it out for fucking what happened in Chicago.
It was 13 killed, 75 shot.
And it was 51 separate incidents.
But not for one day.
This is the weekend.
The whole weekend.
No, Juneteenth.
That one day?
That one day.
No.
Yes, Juneteenth.
One day, Juneteenth, yeah.
In Chicago?
Yes.
75 people...
It takes a whole weekend.
75 people shot.
It takes a whole weekend to do that.
13 killed, well, I guess it was because it was a celebration, I don't know.
I mean, which makes it sound even worse.
You're celebrating your history and then you're killing people at the same time.
I don't know.
You know what I mean?
It's like us going to a Fourth of July party and just murdering people.
Yeah.
It's fucking crazy.
Like, oh, we're celebrating our independence and now I'm just going to kill all my friends
and family.
Yeah, and of course, you know, the worst places were the typical places.
Anywhere with the Martin Luther King Drive.
Yeah, Chicago, Milwaukee.
Everywhere.
DC, St. Louis, Baltimore, all that shit.
Which I'm not being a racist.
I mean, there's been jokes made about this.
Yeah, some of my favorite places.
There was a lot of my favorite places, actually.
There was a parking lot party in Willowbrook, Illinois.
Oh, yeah.
Multiple...
You heard about this?
Yeah, I heard about it.
Multiple gunmen, 22 injured, one got killed.
First of all, did you see the video from this?
What the fuck was up with that?
No, I did not.
I read a little blur.
So, what the fuck, man?
From what I read is that the party spilled over to this parking lot and there was a liquor
store there.
Uh-huh.
So, people didn't know.
So, that's where they congregated was because there was a liquor store and it was in an
area...
I mean, Willowbrook isn't...
I mean, it's not that desolate.
No.
But there were hundreds of people there and they were all congregated.
Okay, so, I mean, hundreds of people, Larry.
And this guy wounds 22 and kills one.
Should it be opposite?
Kills 22, wounds one.
Oh, no.
Like, they show the video of it, the gunfire happening and it's just people mobbed together.
Really?
He's shooting into a crowd.
Yeah, he's just shot into a crowd.
A fist fight ensued, something was said, somebody bumped into each other.
Oh, man.
Those are, you know what I mean, the three...
Typical fight starters.
Well, the things that are synonymous with, you know what I mean, he spilled my drink,
he danced with my girl, he said something stupid.
And some of that shit, it's just a powder keg waiting to go off.
There's so many people armed.
And the problem is that you have a party of your friends and then other friends come
and other friends come and it's just compiled into this big thing.
Here's the other thing, you know, like you get a new thing.
Like, I get a new guitar or a new bass or a new keyboard, whatever the fuck it might be.
I want to play with that thing and fuck around with it a lot.
I cannot wait to see where this analogy is going.
Imagine if you get a new gun, man.
Now you got a new fucking gun and you're all fucking loving that thing, man.
You want to pop some fucking rounds off, man.
Maybe even you want to pop some rounds off into a motherfucker for real.
Well, okay, why do you have a gun?
To protect yourself?
Well, maybe, yeah, maybe.
To get into a fucking fight and pull it out.
You could just have it to jack motherfuckers off too.
Well, you could also, but at the same time, in these impoverished neighborhoods
or where guns are prevalent in the area, you have to be strapped.
Yeah.
Which is the most whitest thing ever.
You have to be strapped, brother.
So...
Time to strap up, guys.
But if you watch these videos, which I watch a lot of them,
where there's like shootouts in Philly or cops taking down people in Chicago,
these people are not afraid to use guns.
Fuck no, man.
They really are not.
They get pulled over in a traffic stop and they start firing at the cops.
Yeah, they'll kill it.
Like they do.
That's fucking amazing.
There's no indiscrimination anymore between the cops and the...
Nobody respects anybody.
That would never happen when we were kids, man.
Well, it did happen when we were kids.
Not like this.
Just not as much as it is now, which we all advance as a society.
Right?
Yeah.
Either it's good or bad.
Good and evil, right?
Evil is prevalent right now.
It's always prevalent, brother.
Not as much as good, though.
I think evil is more out there than good right now.
Right, that's what I'm saying.
Prevalent.
Yeah, I said it's more prevalent.
Hey, let me hit that, Larry.
No, no.
Yes, yes.
You're my fucking joint.
You ass monkey.
Well, then roll me one, sucker.
Oh, boy.
Let's talk about the boy that was thrown from his wheelchair while he was...
All right, hold on. I'll fucking give you... I'll give you a hit in a moment, man.
The boy that was thrown from his wheelchair where?
He was in Texas.
He's a nine-year-old boy with cerebral palsy, and it was career day.
And he was dressed as a police officer.
Yeah.
Yeah, so...
Didn't we just do this story?
No, man.
We saw it on TV.
We were sitting there watching TV, and I said, oh, I'm going to bring this up.
Wait a minute.
I'm sure.
Yeah, no, we didn't do this.
And the kid was thrown from his wheelchair and kicked around by this bully, and the New
York cops found out about this.
This kid from Texas, and they fucking brought him on a tour.
They brought him.
They paid for him to come to New York with his mom and shit.
Nice.
That's awesome.
Yeah, they gave him a tour of the New York Police headquarters.
Single mom?
I don't know.
They gave him a tour of St. Patrick's Cathedral.
They take him to Rikers and watch him beat an inmate?
Yeah.
He got the Sodomize...
Your kid hit him with the Billy Club.
No, he got the Sodomize and inmate with the Billy Club, so that was nice.
Jesus, Larry, how old is this kid?
No, I'm kidding about that part.
Oh, yeah, I hope so.
But he had some New York pizza and shit, and the kid fucking loved it, man, and the cops
were really, really nice to him, so that was kind of cool.
Well, there still is good in the world, which is...
Yeah.
I'm not talking about that.
But you know what else though, is this other bully kid?
What's that?
Not only are they gonna fucking pick on somebody because of some costume they wore on some
stupid fucking school day.
So he was dressed like a cop in a wheelchair.
Yeah, he's in a...
That's the part that's fucking crazy.
Man.
Nothing's off boundaries, man.
You'll fuck up a kid that's already fucked up in a wheelchair.
I mean, you gotta be a real champ to dress as a cop in a wheelchair.
Yeah.
Like, you could, I mean, he could at least want his Larry Flint.
Well, you know, the kid has a...
He was a good kid.
Well, it sounds like it until they fucking ripped him out of his chair.
All right, it's so funny.
I wish you people at home could see this guy.
He's reaching and begging for this giant joint that I rolled out of...
I'll hand it to you now.
But why didn't you roll two?
You got a whole tray of weed in front of you.
Oh, man, what do I look like?
Fucking daddy war bucks?
No, not at all.
You look like Smoochy the Moochie.
Here you go, fucking cocksucker.
As we fight more about weed as the day turns.
Fucking Biden made this law with racist ass motherfucker Strom Thurman.
That was his good buddy.
Yeah.
They would fucking jerk each other off.
Who's Strom Thurman?
Some certain judge or Supreme Court?
No, he was like a politician, he died a few years back and he was just a known KKK guy
and Biden tells him...
A sympathizer?
No, actual KKK member, a fucking leader, grand dragon and shit.
For what state?
One of them Southern states.
Alabama, Kentucky.
Something like that.
I think it was Alabama or something.
And he made a law where it was going to be a five year minimum for the smallest piece
of crack.
I'm talking less than a quarter gram.
Remember we watched that video of fucking Biden where he's going in and you're going
to jail for five years with this much and the judge doesn't even have a choice.
Technically he was given the white power symbol.
Sure he was.
Because that's what he is.
But anyway, he's fucking...
And then...
Yeah?
He makes this law and his kid smokes crack like fucking a banshee and they can't control
his man.
Like he's not doing it, you know?
You can't control your kid's man.
Well dude, the motherfucker made a law that...
There's a lot of fucking black dudes locked up in jail that did the exact same shit that
that motherfucking spoiled ass little cunt did.
And you know, I'm sure they feel the same way I feel right now.
You know, code act black, he's in fucking...
How about them lowering his child support payments from $20,000 a month to $5,000 a month?
As he embezzles fucking, as he fucking rakes in millions.
Well the problem with...
Okay, this is the problem that...
Millions illegally.
This is the problem that I think he has that he can't circumvent.
Well it ain't his problem.
It's the way they're fucking treating this kid.
He should be in prison, man.
He's getting away with shit.
The problem is the two-tiered justice system.
He's getting away with shit.
And everybody else is going to prison for the exact same fucking shit.
Everybody's enabling him.
I mean, he is the vice president's kid.
He's the president's kid, you fucking idiot.
Well yeah.
He used to be the vice president.
We're not about that.
He acts like the vice president.
Yeah, he's the president.
That was hilarious.
We're so much gusto.
I was very serious about that.
You know what?
You're probably right, though, Needles.
Subconsciously, he probably is the vice president, because I'm sure fucking Jack off.
No, vice president's kid, I said.
I'm sure...
Kamala?
No.
What the...
She's the vice president, right?
Look, James Marshall Davis.
Who's that?
James Marshall Davis, his son.
Obama.
Barack Obama.
You and this Barack Obama thing.
He's probably still the president.
Who's that?
Fucking Barry.
Barack?
Yeah.
Aw, man.
You know they're going to unleash Big Mike at the last second.
Who's Big Mike?
Fucking Michelle.
Don't you pay any attention at all?
Yes, I do, but I don't care.
Okay, well then quit asking.
Well, I may have to know what the context of the story is, you fucker.
Well, anyways, at the last minute, they're going to bust off fucking Big Mike to run
for president, I can guarantee it.
I don't know, I got an insight.
It just makes me very uncomfortable when you call Michelle Obama Big Mike.
Well...
Because I just don't put the two together.
Alright.
Even though I have seen pictures of compilations where weirdos on the internet are trying to
show me that Michelle Obama has a wiener.
Right.
Which is funny.
Listen, man, you do your thing.
It's going to come up in my YouTube shit.
You know, I'm not saying, I'm just saying you do, you're an asshole, you know that?
You really are.
Hopefully your brakes get cut on your skull.
Fuck you, man.
Fuck it's scooting on your ass around.
I just don't understand why the people have this fucking love for trying to prove that
Michelle Obama is a man, or was a man at one point.
Right?
Isn't that the thing?
Well, no, but here's the thing.
I'm talking about tranny, this tranny, that.
Well, I don't like it forced in my face.
That's the only problem, and on children.
Me either, and they are forcing it in our face.
They are.
But who cares about that?
There's going to be a fucking, there's going to be a coup.
I'm not just, I'm not saying that I want this to happen or anything, but there's going
to be a coup on trans people, and this is all going to backlash on everybody.
Because they come too hard, and then what happens?
It's just like Bud Light.
They sponsor that dude, and all their beer sales went to shit.
People are fucking.
Yeah, well did you see that they had a fucking Bud Light float at the fucking Gay Pride parade?
Yeah, why wouldn't they?
That is fucking hilarious.
I mean, they're already, they're all in.
They're all in Larry.
I mean, what would you do?
You can't, you got to know when to hold them in.
Remember the guys next door, Steve, and all those beer drinking football watching buddies?
They loved Bud Light, man.
Those guys got to be like, oh fuck.
Listen, if you drink it, it is what it is.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
You just switch to Miller High Life.
It's fucking beer.
It doesn't matter.
It's, you're going to drink as many Bud Lights as you drink, as many Coors Lights as you
drink, as many fucking other shwaggers.
Just drink some fucking PBI.
I went to fucking the Joules the other day.
Yeah, over by there.
And, and they had Bud, or Bush Light peach flavored.
Oh my God.
If you ever heard of an abomination like that, why the fuck would you drink?
Pour on your balls for your boyfriend to lick off, I think.
Or out of your belly button.
He's just doing fucking belly button shots.
Ass hole shots.
Ass crack shots with that.
But no, that's just silly.
That's what I, yeah, those ass crack shots with the peach bush light, it's got to be
amazing.
We don't understand how many corporations are intertwined with this whole pride and that.
Well, they all are.
They have to be.
There's some sort of ass.
Otherwise they'll get singled out.
From who?
From the LGBT community, which is 1%?
Yeah, well they will scream and cry about it so much and they get the most fucking coverage
and most of the, you know, they do one tweet and then the bots take over.
It's all fucking bots, man.
Pretty soon we're going to be getting sucked off by bots.
Now that sounds amazing.
Can I get two bots?
One beating my ass?
Yeah, they're going to have metal teeth.
Why would I buy them with metal teeth, Larry?
That doesn't make any sense.
You're not going to buy it.
The government's going to take you to the queue.
Can I please give up?
Yeah, I'm going to get a governed issue with a robot with metal teeth to suck my dick,
Larry.
Let me sign up for this.
That is the most fucking...
Oh my God.
You know, Biden was at the...
He was at this Howard University, which is a predominantly, well it's a black university.
Why is he there of all people?
You're saying some speech.
Well, because he's part black, you knew that.
Wait a second.
Whoa, don't you do it?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I just said that part.
Okay.
Anyways, he said the biggest problem, the biggest threat today, the biggest threat, what do you
think it is?
Right now of this day.
Yeah, the United States.
What do you think Biden said?
Okay, wait a second.
Give me, you've got to give me one second.
Keep on coming at me while I'm thinking here, because I want to just say equality and rights
for people that are non-binary, non-gender.
No, close.
Okay.
Well, if he's at a black college, something about slavery maybe?
Oh, closer.
Wow.
Okay, so then tell me, Larry.
He said the biggest threat today is white supremacy.
Oh, fuck, why didn't I think of that?
Yeah.
Because I'm not a white supremacist.
If you want to know something, here's the actual statistics.
Not just white supremacists, but all extremist groups combined.
What do you mean?
All extremist groups.
In the United States.
Yeah, white, black, Panthers, whatever.
They still look free.
Nazis, fucking whatever, whatever things are going on.
I don't know.
Okay, 25 people were killed by extremists of all races.
Yeah, but who?
All races.
Okay, but what?
So only 25, right?
Who constitutes a race as a guy?
An extremist group.
Like, I don't...
Well, if, you know, if you fucking hate somebody, if you do some kind of fucking...
Don't you think a mass shooter can be bunched into that?
Well, only if he's white and he kills black.
If he's black and he kills Asians, or if he's black and he kills other races, that's
okay because he's black, you know?
And he's had a bad fucking time, and he's had a rough upbringing.
And you know that, though, that's...
We deserve to fucking kill.
That's a very fake statement, Larry.
Well, no, that's what they say.
That's the...
And they don't...
They don't count that.
They just don't count that.
Well, that's how they count it.
How many...
How many people do you think...
How many...
How many blacks do you think other blacks...
Blacks killed last year?
Oh, come on, Larry.
Yes.
We live...
It should be...
If white supremacy is the biggest threat, it should be a lot less than 25, right?
Larry, come on.
I mean, right, exactly, exactly, needles.
The district...
Even a dummy like you could do this, man.
Thanks, man.
Thanks for just disparaging my character for no reason, because you're stoned and angry.
But Mary's district that she used to work at around Harrison and Kezzi still holds the
highest number of murderers within the Chicago.
And it is literally the...
There's three blacks beyond the police station where it all starts.
Like, you can see the police station.
From where the crimes are going down.
Well, but I mean, they have shot cams and all that stuff.
But the police station is right off the highway and then it all bumps back.
So everything surrounds the police station.
If everybody got together, they could probably take it over.
Oh, yeah.
Well, anyways, the number is 11,000.
11,000 what?
11,000 blacks were killed by other blacks.
But white supremacy is the worst fucking threat to blacks.
11,000?
11,000.
That's 330.
In the whole country.
Yeah, 330 million people in the United States.
Let's say 350.
Okay.
Just because, you know, some people don't have documents.
So you're telling me out of 350 million people, black on black crime was only 11,000 people.
Yeah.
You don't think that's a lot?
I think those numbers are way off.
I think it's more than that.
I mean, it's more than that in Chicago.
No, 11,000 people don't get killed in one year.
No, no, no, no.
Okay.
But I'm okay with that.
I meant something.
I meant shootings.
Oh, these are actual murders.
I know, but I'm just saying, but shooting, shooting.
Yeah, shooting.
Yeah, probably.
Think about that.
Okay.
So, but I am sorry.
I misconstrued my words there.
That's all right.
But oh, thanks Larry for your approval.
I'll let you slide on that.
Oh, yeah.
I should give you a kick right to the fucking gut right now.
Yeah, you like that.
But okay.
So I, but you know what I mean?
Like, I don't know.
I just think Biden is out of line for fucking saying that to a black college.
I think murder numbers, I think that fucking racist shit in their head.
I think crime numbers are like COVID numbers.
They're really skew.
Well, current COVID numbers, whatever the numbers were, however many they said, it's about 5%,
6%.
I think 20% more than that.
No, no, no, no, no.
Only 6% of the people actually died from COVID.
Oh, no, no.
Okay.
The rest of them were.
I'm saying they're inflating it.
That's what I'm saying.
Like you wiped out and killed yourself on the motorbike.
COVID.
Yeah.
Fucking.
You got nine gunshots in here.
Yeah.
COVID.
They were doing it over and over, man.
That's what they do.
They fucking just, they were getting incentivized.
I don't know about it because that extreme.
No, it was.
It was.
I got, there's this movie you could watch and it's, I shouldn't even say it, man.
Boys Butts 4?
Yeah.
And it'll fucking tell you all about it, man.
I got to check with my fucking people if I could fucking say the name of that.
I can't.
I'll tell you next time.
What kind of people do you have?
I'm very scared of those people.
I got it.
Kind of idiots want to hang out with you.
You want to hear something really good?
I really do.
Every, almost every, all the living presidents, all of them that are still alive and like
the last five presidents, every president, including Barack Obama, including Barack Obama.
I heard you the first time.
Were descendants of slave owners.
Okay.
Except Donald Trump.
So all of them were fucking slave owners except Trump.
Maybe that's why they don't like,
Where did you get this news from?
From Reuters.
That's a fucking big organization.
I know what it is.
Ask him.
You heard of that?
Okay, good.
I don't got to explain it to you.
Listen man, you think I'm a fucking simpleton over here?
So isn't that crazy?
What?
That Donald Trump.
So no, that Barack Obama had to pay himself reparations.
Barack Obama is going to have to pay reparations.
Well, he was a fucking slave owner.
Obama.
He wasn't a slave owner.
His lineage was.
There you have it.
But if that's how you're going to go off the stage.
That's the way they're going.
You know what I mean?
That's the way they want it, you know?
Listen, what if you lived in California and they said to you, needles, we want reparations,
you got to pay.
And you're like, fuck man, my people are from like Ireland and shit.
I didn't fucking have no fucking slaves.
We got treated like slaves.
Yeah.
Well, why the fuck?
And they'd say that's too bad, man.
You're fucking just a little too light, dude.
You got to fucking fork it over, bitch.
And money, some of it's going to Larry.
Because he.
How did you get involved in this scenario?
Because he's questionable, man.
Yeah, because you're the fucking plantation owner now.
Uh-uh.
Yeah, you're just loaning.
I was a worker, motherfucker.
You're loaning the money out.
I was one worker.
And then you're charging these people high interest.
Okay.
You can't pay people in cool cigarettes, Larry.
It's just fucking kind of ironic because they all hate him and maybe that's why they hate
him because he wasn't a slave owner like that.
Listen, you know, I was part of the club.
I was reading something about presidents today and it's, history is really written by the
winners unless you're a president because there's so much shit going on.
Like, everybody's like, he was the worst.
And then other people are like, he was the best.
And it's like, dude, shit is fucked up right now.
I don't care about what he did when he was the president.
Like, today, like I have to go pay fucking almost five bucks a gallon for fucking gas.
Yeah, my needs is paying over six.
Yeah.
It's like, I don't give a fuck what kind of president this motherfucker was.
It's like, Jesus Christ, who cares?
Like the guy that's up on the pulpit right now, is that right?
The pulpit?
I don't know.
Potium?
Potium, thank you.
The pulpit, I think that's for priests.
But the podium, the guys fucking falling down.
The difference between the pulpit and the podium is the pulpit has a little spot for
the altar boy to kneel down and fucking perform as Felatio during the service.
I let you ride that one out, Larry.
Didn't even interject.
Thank you for that tidbit.
It's got a little chamber for the boy to kneel down in.
Okay, we heard you the first time.
You have to laugh.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
They said, we need a podium for the church.
I mean, a new pulpit.
Well, you think they'd have it where the drop down in the floor and it comes out new
to you?
It comes up.
One comes up butt first.
Everybody turn around and face the other way.
It's just new, they say.
Put your hands on the wall.
I'm going to play cops and robbers.
I'm going to rob you of your innocence.
Man, here's what's really fucked up, bro.
What's that?
You're seeing the world is fucked up.
There's this tranny in Portland who is a serial killer and a serial rapist.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm very intrigued by this.
I haven't heard this yet.
Yes.
This guy is going around with a woman's wig.
Have they caught him?
No.
Because no one's going to the cops.
The code of the streets is that strong.
It's not the code of the streets.
It's people are fucking.
They're scared.
Well, the code of the street is they don't want to fucking get killed.
You know what?
I would think nowadays people would be more accepting of the police just because of how
fucked up it is.
No.
Those people are...
But dude, come on.
Portland is fucking the worst.
Oh, but that's why it's the worst.
Because they fucking hate the cops, man.
They're fucking you.
Well, they had that fucking zet zone.
What was it?
Chop.
The chop zone?
Yeah.
And what happened there?
The police had to break it up.
Wasn't it in the police station?
No, they didn't let the police in.
People were getting killed.
They were overposed.
And yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Then the police came and broke it up.
Well, anyways, this guy is going around and raping some chicks and luring dudes with his
womenly fucking ways.
Dude, this guy's ACDC.
And fucking giving them hot shots, man.
Say, let's party and he's fucking killing them right there.
Boom.
Wow.
That's a lot of work.
Yeah, so now people are freaking out.
And he's been...
Where is this again?
They're fucking in Portland and they're fucking saying, oh my god, it's happening so much.
They're starting to consider it a serial killer.
Okay.
Yeah.
And I thought you'd like that because I know how you...
You know, I know how I think you're kind of a serial killer.
It's a lot of work, man.
It really is.
Like, we always talked about this before.
That's exactly what I think you're hard on.
I mean, I don't have the gusto to be a serial killer.
Come on.
Yeah, you really do.
Because then you're okay.
First of all, you got to find these people.
They're the biggest foams on them.
You got to get rid of your phones.
They ping everywhere.
Yeah, we do a lot harder today.
There's cameras everywhere.
You can't just do your fucking shit.
We're the like in the heyday.
Yeah, 60s, 70s, 50s to the 80s.
Yeah.
You know, once everything started CCTV, then you're fucked.
And I mean, I'm not a serial killer.
I'm just saying that that's just the truth of what's going on right now.
It's very difficult.
There's been serial killers lately that have been picked up except the guy in Chicago.
They're saying there's a serial killer in Chicago.
It's Pusher.
The Pusher.
Is that what you're calling him?
Well, he pushes people in the water, right?
Nice.
That's good for the Larry and Needle Show, the Pusher.
If you're listening to the Pusher, please come on up.
Hey, yeah.
If you want to fucking do a thing, we'll disguise your voice, whatever you want.
Yeah, I mean, you can push Larry in Lake Michigan.
I'll let you push me in the deep end of my pool.
Ask first.
Whatever way you want to do it, bro.
Is that the guy in fucking Austin or is it Nashville?
Where the lake is, where they keep on finding bodies?
I think it's Austin.
It might be Austin.
Yeah, it's Austin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Excuse me.
Then there's another, they're also saying in New York, it's crazy.
It's the same type of shit.
People pushing people into the water while they're drunk.
It's the easiest fucking, it's the easiest thing.
Yeah, and you know how it is on some of those spots on Lake Michigan where, you know, it's
dark and concrete and it's straight down.
And it's dark now if you get there.
And the way that the undertow is in Lake Michigan, like done.
So they are saying that there's somebody that's doing this in Chicago.
They just retrieved another body a week ago, a guy that went to the Salt Shed, which is
a music venue.
Which we're going to.
Yes, we are.
This weekend.
We're going to see the Les Clay Pool.
They're going to play animals, Pink Floyd animals from end to end.
It's this weekend, this Sunday, Larry.
Shit.
That's wild.
This Sunday?
This Sunday.
Shit, I saw the boys.
Sunday, Sunday.
Well, this is more important.
Is it?
Are we my, what time are we going to go?
You better not get fucking gay on me right now, man.
I will punch you.
I will punch you, man.
I bought you a ticket and you said I'm going to go.
I'm not asking what time is it?
None of your business.
Just say I'm going to go, asshole.
The fuck does that mean?
I'm going to go.
My God.
Because we could jam in the day earlier and then go get our ears pre blown out and then
fucking go to Primus.
You know, here's the thing, man.
I'm dying to jam.
We haven't jammed.
I've only been playing with my punk band.
Well, that's not my problem.
Over at someone else's house where I'm not allowed to smoke pot, I got to go outside
to smoke weed.
Oh my God.
I'm not allowed to smoke weed in somebody's house.
That's not mine.
We've talked about this before.
I know.
So I'm kind of anxious to smoke pot with my boys in our studio and fucking play some songs
that I wrote instead of dead boys.
My gaydar is going off right now.
Okay, fuck it, though.
You know they want to fucking outlaw coal and wood burning pizza ovens in New York
City?
Oh yeah.
They want pizza at the City Hall.
Yeah, he was awesome.
They have fucking Sauce Monkey.
Shout out to you, you gindaloon.
He was awesome.
Fucking Larian Needle Show supports you.
Yes.
What kind of pizza was it?
Man, that looked like a good pizza he was throwing.
Man, Larry, you're breaking my heart right now.
I mean, it had to be a good pizza.
They're not just going to let 7-Eleven throw a pizza up on the wall.
You need something like Pascals or fucking like a gindaloons pizza.
Sauce Monkey's pizza.
Man, we used to play at this place called the Pontiac on South Street in Philly and
I remember directly Kitty Corner across the street.
Was this pizza place and it had such good pizza, you know?
Yeah.
It was like, it was cheap, man.
It was like a dollar or a dollar twenty-five.
A dollar slice.
And it was a quarter of a pizza, you know?
A quarter of a pizza.
It was a big dog.
Yeah, it was a big fucking dog.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they put it on two plates.
They put it on like a little like a Kentucky Cards, man.
That was some good.
When I went to Philly a couple months ago, they had, they would do fucking, they just
had like a tile counter with a glass on top and they just had like five or six pizzas
just sitting out in the air.
You know what I mean?
And then you just throw them in and, oh man, it was good.
I don't, it was okay.
There's a lot of...
Well, this place was very busy.
Yeah, here.
Well...
And it was really good.
And it was kind of cool because...
It was like New York style or was it a little thicker?
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it was just a fucking slice for a buck and a quarter.
Yeah, it was thin ass fucking...
Just food when you're drunk.
Yeah, and it was awesome.
It's like good fucked up food.
Oh, man.
You know, there's not like a good slice, man.
There's not like a good slice, man.
Bullshit on there.
A good greasy slice, man.
Yeah.
At fucking two, three in the morning.
And I want to say this place was open pretty fucking late, if not all night, maybe.
Nice, man.
Well, you did say 24 hours?
I don't remember, man.
All you remember is just the food.
Yeah, it was cool.
Philly's a weird place.
We've talked about this before.
It's crazy how shit just is like everywhere's weird.
No, not really.
Dude, I've been to places...
I've been to places that like in fucking countries, other countries.
Suburb in New York or New Jersey or something that look exactly like this fucking neighborhood.
Right here, it's like...
Well, yeah, they're all suburbs.
Yeah, but it was just freaky, man.
I mean, they're all built the same.
It's all fucking track houses and shit, you know?
Yeah, it just freaked me out, you know?
That you went to another suburb in another state that freaked you out?
That looked exactly like this fucking street that I live on and stuff, you know?
It was weird to me.
Okay, well...
That's finally...
Same fucking houses and everything.
Yeah, because they're all built the same.
Most of these houses are built 60s, 70s.
Yeah.
No, man, 50s.
60s, 70s.
By the 70s, I'd say most of them were built.
Okay.
You know?
All right.
Well, I mean, do you want to fight or something?
Yeah, motherfucker, that's it.
What the fuck, dude?
Quit looking at me like that.
I don't like to have fucking stare.
I'm gonna slap you right in the chops in a minute.
Well, shit, man.
How about that?
I mean, now you're just gonna open up, man, and fucking...
I know you're gonna say something really horrible right when you...
I was gone.
I know you were gone, because when you say that, you're like, ah, man.
I had a little story.
Oh, man, there was this thing.
I read this thing, and I was gonna...
I didn't say it on a show a couple of times ago, but this kid, Brock Peters, 18...
Sounds...
Okay.
He was flying lessons when he was 16, and he was flying a Piper PA-28 over Southern California
with a 77-year-old granny and two of his cousins.
And the fucking engine blows out with a loud bang, and he's dropping fast, man.
That's what they describe how the grandma dies.
Her engine blows out with a loud bang.
And they're 5,500 feet, you know.
That's not very high when you're going down fast.
5,500 feet is very low.
Yeah, wouldn't you...
I mean, you know...
Would I freak out?
Would I freak the fuck out?
Yes, I would freak the fuck out.
The kid was gonna start hitting shit, and he fucking avoids it.
He just starts punching his grandma.
Exactly.
He just started hitting shit.
So then he knocks the bitches fucking...
Right in the temple, pulls a wig off.
Wig!
No!
No, don't disparage granny like that.
So he's almost gonna hit telephone poles and wires and stuff, and now...
Oh, you don't want to hit a fucking...
He almost hits a hill.
He fucking wants to land this thing somewhere.
It's rocks and...
And he's 17.
And he's 18.
18, sorry.
He fucking lands the plane on a stretch of...
Highway.
Nice.
Shout out to...
They live.
Rock Peters, man.
Rock Peters.
Sounds like a rapist at a polo club.
Well, you know, he probably does go to a polo club seeing that the kid knows how to fly
a fucking plane.
This guy's got it going on.
I mean, why would you teach a kid that young to fucking fly a plane?
He's 16, and he's...
This is like flying lessons at the same time he's...
This is Barry Seals kid?
You know Barry Seals is?
No.
They made that movie about him when he was running drugs at Arkansas.
No, I don't know Barry Seals.
Yeah, well, he's a very interesting dude, man.
Tom Cruise made a movie about him.
It's really good.
And then he was murdered, he went to a halfway house when he got out of prison, and they
gunned him down in front of his halfway house.
Really?
Yeah.
That's fuckers.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's a fucking crazy...
He worked for the CIA.
This one, guys, get back at the scene.
Well, no, he worked for the CIA, worked for the FBI.
Like he was a man.
He was like Vishnu with all the fucking hands in the cookie jars.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, because they would keep shit from each other.
Of course.
But everything's intertwined at one point.
All comes to a head, right?
But with the government, you chop one head off, nine more form.
Well, yeah, that's true.
Like it doesn't matter.
Like, you know, like what's going on right now?
It doesn't matter with our leaders, you know.
Hunter Biden and Joe Biden.
Well, he's not a leader.
Well, no, they're probably...
Even though I did say he was a vice president.
Those probably aren't really them.
Those are probably fucking people with rubber masks.
They got Joe Biden's probably been fucking dead since 2015.
He's incubating right now.
He's probably dead.
You think so?
I don't know.
It seems like it sometimes.
It doesn't.
They really, really are fucking weird.
Anything is possible nowadays, right?
Mm-hmm.
Like your mind cannot fathom what is going on behind our backs.
Exactly.
Maybe that's...
I mean, I don't know if that's the truth or not, but that's how I think.
Like, there is so much shit going on in this country that I don't know about, that it's
better, I don't know.
Right.
You know?
That's it.
It's crazy.
I mean, it's...
I don't know if it's being a pacifist.
I don't know if it's just not caring.
I don't really don't care.
As long as I get my paychecks, they leave me alone.
That's not the way to be, but...
Yeah, but even though the government dictates the fucking price of a house, which is bullshit.
Well, that's why I got...
And they want to fucking buy a house.
That's why you've got to care, bro.
These fucking Malacas won't let me do it.
That's why you got to care, because these Malacas will fucking take the fuck over.
Well, they already have.
Be on that.
I know, but they'll take everything if you allow them.
I mean, if you look at everything right now, inflation, we're in, fuck, six months of inflation
right now, maybe a year.
Right?
We're still at the peak.
How long has Biden been in office?
I don't know.
I don't keep counting.
How long that is?
That's how long he was.
He was the vice president 30 minutes ago.
Exactly.
However long he's been in office, that's how long inflation's been going on.
Trump had that shit locked down, and I'm not a Trump lover.
I can give a fuck.
All I know is we need another businessman who knows what the fuck he's doing, who knows
money and not just how to steal it and fucking make shell companies.
Yeah, but that's a politician right there.
No, no.
You're never going to...
If you know it's not a run-up business and fucking work a budget and fucking get shit
straight.
That's not going to happen.
I mean, listen, Reagan was a Hollywood actor.
I know.
It doesn't...
That's why you know it doesn't matter.
Obama was a senator, right?
Isn't it Blagojevich?
Obama was nothing.
No, he stopped.
He was nothing.
They put him up there, bro.
No, no.
Was he a senator?
I don't know.
I got to...
Because Blagojevich sold his seat, remember?
That's why he went to fucking prison.
He...
No, but that's why Blagojevich went to...
He...
That was another part of his fucking...
Shout out Rob Blagojevich, man.
Blagojevich, man.
Two Chicago heroes.
Blagojevich did not deserve to be in prison.
Blagojevich, man.
Especially for what's going on with all these other motherfuckers, man.
What?
Who?
All this shit going down right now.
What do you mean what?
Who?
As they're making the other jag of Merrick Garland.
That motherfucker is a big fat liar.
He's lying in...
How about though, did you see...
The FBI, they're fucking a bunch of big fat fucking liars.
They're putting Blagojevich the coolest motherfucker out there in prison for nothing compared to
what the fuck they're doing, man, right now as we speak.
How about Kamala Harris, man?
How about her?
She's the first black woman to be fucking in her position.
She has got the golden key, a fucking black broad.
Listen, Larry, come on.
Couldn't fucking open any door.
First of all, listen,
because she was at the bottom of the list
for vice presidential candidates.
It doesn't matter.
She's, she's, she's, relax.
She's fucking black and she's a woman, dude.
That's all that matters.
I know.
That's the only thing that matters.
It's the same thing that matters.
Your effect, it caught me off.
Go then, tell me.
No, you just stated it, that's fine though.
I mean, you have to, listen,
politicians are known,
they have people that advise their campaign.
They have people that are fucking handlers
and all this bullshit, like,
all people are looking, digging in your past.
Everything's on the internet.
Like I said, we watched a Joe Biden video from what?
25 years ago, 30 years ago?
When he's saying all the exact opposite.
With the crack, yeah, I'm just saying.
Dude, I didn't even, I'll tell you what though,
when they made that rule 25 years ago, 30 years ago,
when I was a fucking kid smoking crack,
it scared the fucking shit out of me.
I'm like, this asshole's fucking making it.
So I'm gonna have to do five years
just cause I got a fucking eight-
Well, they took a hard stance.
That's fucking bullshit.
They took a hard stance on rock cocaine
because it was ravaging.
He took a hard stance against blacks.
That's what he did.
Because it was ravaging communities
and it was centralized to certain areas
where the government brought it in.
That's what they did.
That's the thing.
There's multiple fucking accounts of people
doing drug deals with cartel members
and them buying cocaine from the CIA
and bringing it into the hoods.
You think these, this is the lowest form of arguing this,
but it's like, do you really think that all of a sudden
these guys who were thugs were just like,
yeah, let's mix baking soda and coke and make crack?
Somebody had to teach somebody something.
Yeah, well, they've been free-basing for a long time.
But somebody had to teach somebody something.
You know what I mean?
Like it's all, the red tape wraps around everything.
You will never find out the truth of anything.
But they make good movies now.
But the thing about it is,
Kamala Harris in the position she's in,
being a black woman.
She's a vice president, right?
Yeah, she is actually the vice president.
She should be able to do anything she wants
and get anything done.
Because right now, a black woman couldn't be the more,
you couldn't be more of a popular in thing.
Everybody wants to love you, man.
Here's the deal.
And she can't get nothing done
because she's just too much of a fucking idiot.
Yes.
Do you think she drinks?
Do you think she smokes?
What do you think it is?
Here's the deal.
What do you think she's done?
She does Kamala.
But what do you think she's done?
She does herself.
She doesn't need anything to accentuate
what she is or who she is.
She is like this on her own.
You know what I mean?
Like, what do you mean you don't?
I mean, she's drunk.
We do think she's out boozing and drinking
and then she goes and does a weird press conference.
I think she's on something, bro.
Who isn't?
Exactly.
So what does that mean?
All of a sudden you're the police now?
I don't care.
I'm just saying.
You just said you did.
You can't get anything done.
She's just laughing and stupid
and just fucking such a dummy, man.
It blows my mind.
And she, did you think she,
okay, Biden was the vice president.
But do you think that was a good idea he picked her?
Joe Biden?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Joe Biden was under George Bush.
No.
Fuck.
He was under Obama.
Really?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
That's what I just said at the beginning.
I said remember that.
I just wanted to guess, man.
Okay.
Good, well, don't fucking chat that.
No, George Bush was like Chaney.
Oh yeah.
Oh, that was a good movie.
Don't go hunting with that, motherfucker.
No, you'll get shot in the face with fucking cat.
You'll shoot your ass in the face.
And then get away with it and go have a steak dinner.
Yeah.
He won't even fucking lose a second of sleep.
But he was a fucking, man.
He'll go hunting again the next day.
He was a cutthroat motherfucker.
Yeah, they all are, man.
But he got, dude, the president gave him power
over the military.
I don't know about that.
Yeah, there was a movie.
Yeah, the movie they made.
Why didn't they make the movie?
I just remember it from when it happened.
It was very good.
It's called Chaney.
And it's very good.
How about Liz Chaney, man?
Would you do her?
Right now?
Yeah.
I don't know what she looks like.
I mean, probably.
She's a fucking, she looks like a school.
How old was she?
She was a blonde.
It's gotta be 80.
No, no, no.
60s, 70, I don't know.
Well, I mean, that's a wide fucking spectrum.
Well, I don't know.
Would I do her?
Why does it always come to me doing her?
Because we don't know you would.
That's why you're asking me.
Like, hey, needles, would you bang her?
Because I already would.
I mean, she's just a horrible bitch, but.
How?
Well, she's a fucking cunt, man.
She is just a venomous.
Politics is hilarious, so funny.
Horrible, fucking, mean, evil, fucking cunt.
Are you talking about Hillary?
Well, her, that'll fit her description too, yeah.
Which, I mean, we don't discriminate against anybody.
You know what, man?
I hate all these politicians.
They're all evil.
There's more of a body count on the Clintons than,
I don't know, man.
Fucking iced tea, you know, body count album.
Yeah, two cubes, baby.
Fuck yeah, man.
All right, well.
Anyways, hey.
I think it's a good point to stop.
Yeah, okay, you see on that bottom,
you see where our levels are popping their needles?
And on the bottom one, there's that little red square
that's lit up.
That means that at one point, you did something
to make that thing spike all the way.
I don't know why you're bringing this up right now.
Just because when I turn it off, it's not gonna be there.
And then you're gonna go,
what are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
So now I'm showing you, that's that.
That means at one point, you went all the way.
Well, I understand what that means.
Okay, and I'm just saying.
First of all, you have to bring this up on the episode, man.
Well, no, I hope.
This is not what our listeners want to hear.
I just want to let the people know that.
They want.
I do a lot of work doing.
You don't do shit, you sugar baby.
Doing the production.
Yeah, let them laugh.
I smoke weed all day.
And play guitar.
That's not it, man.
Oh, that's not, okay.
Maybe I jerk off the hentai.
Ssssss.
Anyways, so yeah, needles makes it real hard.
It's a pain in the ass.
Whoa, that was a weird statement.
Needles makes it real hard.
It's a pain in the ass
because he's always fucking doing something
with the equipment.
I'm not doing anything.
Breaking something.
Dude, what are you talking about?
Alcohol into the mix and more.
I did that once.
Some crazy shit.
You're the guy who brought holy water in here
that's blessed by you.
Yeah, but I didn't spill it over.
Which is completely safe for over.
No, it ain't.
Yes, it is.
How is that, how is my,
how is holy water, said?
Because that vessel that holds the water
has been blessed. I blessed it myself.
But somebody blessed that vessel.
I poured the water out.
I know, but a priest probably blessed the whole crate.
The whole truck load.
You know how the church works?
You know?
Well, and that means.
They pulled two pallets off, he blesses it.
They pull another two pallets off.
I bless this whole house, the studio.
I'm gonna re-bless the holy water.
Now you know what he does?
Bless all the people listening right now.
He gets two kids and he uses their hands
to count the crates off when they run out of fingers.
Then he fucks one of them?
You know what I mean?
If that, I didn't know.
I mean, you know how the priest roll.
Well, that's why he said he had two kids
when they run out of fingers.
You just wanna blatantly come out and say.
I mean, then hopefully that will keep us in the algorithm.
Let's see, yeah.
Let's see, what should I do when I grow up?
Fireman, priest.
I mean, it's just a weird fucking job to begin with, man.
Think about it.
You know any kids that said in third grade,
they wanna be a priest?
No. They don't say that until they realize
they're fruit cakes or something.
And then they say, that's a good place to hide out.
You're not supposed to fuck.
This guy's a fuzzball.
We'll leave all these little kids around and shit.
For a wonderful job.
For a fucking fruit.
I mean, for a guy who likes kids, yeah.
I mean, it's like standing at the bottom of a water slide.
Working on your form.
Fuck, man.
I remember going to the Catholic High School
from no religion whatsoever,
growing up with just his heathens, you know?
And then my mom had to send us there
because, you know, we just got kicked out
of the regular school.
That's just how it worked and fucking.
And my mom was right because not one of my friends
graduated high school.
She's like, you're graduating motherfucker, you know?
And when I went in that Catholic school,
I was like, man, I did not get a holy feeling or a good vibe.
I fucking was like.
From the school?
Yeah, or for many of the teachers from the head,
none from the head fucking priest,
from any of the brothers that were the teachers, you know?
I watched a porn called Nunhead.
Not that.
You said that would give me a better feeling for that.
She had what's that called a habit on her head?
Kind of like me.
Nice.
More than a monkey, I got a habit on my head.
No monkey on my back.
Just a habit on my head.
So yeah, it was interesting.
Sounds like it.
And I just didn't get a good vibe
from any of those fucking people
and I didn't feel like any of them were godly.
Because it was prime boy touching country
and at the time period.
And you could almost tell which fucking kids they touched.
Like you could see this little fucking fruity,
or not fruity, but.
Jesus, man, they're children.
What are you talking about?
Well, I was also a child.
I was in the same grade as the kids.
I know, but you can't be called them fruity.
The kid is soft and he's a pussy.
So what does that mean?
He deserves to get raped?
No, I'm just saying.
The priest probably knows that he can fucking,
you know, why is he always crying
after fucking mass or whatever.
Jesus, man.
Why is he coming out of the fucking confession booth
holding his ass and shit?
What's going on there?
But they have a screening between them, Larry.
It'd be kind of weird if you just drilled a hole
in your booth.
It's a glory, no confession.
Well, no, but you didn't say that.
They don't even, you just put like a picture of Jesus
like high-fiving someone.
What?
Nothing, Jesus wasn't there, brother.
I'm just saying to cover the glory hole you drill.
Oh, man.
You put a picture of Jesus over it.
All right, we're gonna have to say a prayer for me
else this motherfucker's going to hell.
Thank you.
I'll be the one with the kick-ass boat
if you guys want to hang out.
Jesus, this dumb fuck doesn't know what he's saying.
Please forgive me, sir.
Actually, I do know what I'm saying.
I like I said, man.
Oh, man, it's gonna rot.
Who's gonna rot?
Oh, okay.
It was a fun show.
I had a great time.
Thanks for fucking demonizing me to the fucking,
you're false idol.
False idol?
What the fuck, man?
Dude.
I'm giving war for this.
You are a fucking hair brain.
Does not know what he does.
I know exactly what I'm saying.
Now, here are the words coming right out of my mouth.
Oh, that's fine.
Okay, he's going to hell.
You should know it should be a sin to have those feet out.
I don't want to look at them anymore.
My feet ain't dirty, bitch.
You make a foot burka.
That's all I want to see.
Ugh, so disgusting.
What's wrong with them, man?
I can't even get them to sit on their couch.
Dude, I could be a fucking foot model.
Ew, I could be a foot model.
For fucking Barney Rubble magazine.
Dude, it looks like you've been kicking rock sideways
with those things.
The toes are all in here.
This fucking foot looks like.
Oh my God, they're disgusting.
Sorry, Cinderella.
They're huge too.
That's life, you know?
I got huge feet.
I don't know why you got blessed with such a small dinger
from my herd.
Okay.
That's what happens, huge shit.
Shit going on.
You didn't know what you were doing.
I don't want to fucking start bragging
over the fucking internet, asshole.
Put those feet away, man.
Keep them away from me.
Oh, fuck you.
All right, man, shout out to Matthew.
Matt, we love you, bro.
Is it Barba?
Oh, no, different, man.
Of course, man.
Shit, my bad.
Now he's gonna get fucking fired from his job
because of you.
Why'd you have to keep on going?
You could have just brushed it off.
Matthew, I love you, buddy.
Okay, and I said,
And you know, I guess,
I guess you look for a new job
because of needles and Ross, man.
Yeah.
Love you, man.
Tiffany, Chrissy, Luann, Becky.
Love you all for listening.
Hey, and everybody else that's listening,
you all some bad motherfuckers.
Yeah, thanks for listening, man.
You know, I don't know why you're doing it,
but we like to have fun around here.
So thank you.
A lot of it's our friends and we love it.
And have a good weekend.
And stay safe out there and pray for needles
because he's gonna go to hell, this fucking idiot.
Hashtag pray for needles.
Have a great night.
Peace.