Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.
Yeah, I can't breathe.
Okay, calm down.
Larry Floyd.
Hey, welcome to the Larry and Needles show.
I'm Larry.
I'm Needles.
Hey, we got an X.
Son of a bitch.
First spill in the lab.
Toilet paper over there.
Dude, it's on the cardboard box.
Just don't worry about it.
I know what I'm gonna fucking sit in my own shit now.
That's how it works.
Yeah.
Okay, that's fine.
How you doing there?
I'm good.
Yeah?
How did it go today?
Pretty good, pretty good.
I was out riding my bike or my scooter.
Bikes or scooters?
Or scooters, like a bicycle or scooter?
Earlier I took a bicycle ride,
but I was riding my scooter and I forgot to bring my phone with me.
God, I wish I didn't have such fucking anxiety that I would have taken
not a rachnophobia, but angoraphobia.
Yeah.
Well, I realized I better turn back
and because you're coming over to do this podcast
and what reminded me that we were doing the podcast,
well, what reminded me of you was I saw a sign that said,
watch for children.
I said, oh, wait a second.
You were by a school phone?
You shouldn't be there.
It was just in the neighborhood.
Yeah, I know, even worse, you're not supposed to be around schools,
dude, we already talked about this.
I mean, thank God you shaved that handle bar mustache off.
I think like the fucking lighthouse going by school.
The beacon of unhope.
Yeah.
It's gorgeous out, man.
Oh, fucking awesome.
I fucking love summer, but I hate summer, man.
I am a night owl.
When it gets dark at five o'clock, man,
that is needles as fucking huge.
State.
But I don't know, it's pretty fun to be out at night
when it's warm out and it's a little later,
but you stay out a little later.
That's all.
I saw Venus last night or the night before.
She will you?
Yeah, it was amazing, man.
That thing was so bright.
Yeah, how did you know it was Venus?
Because later Dave looked it up and I was like,
that's got to be a planet.
It's not a star.
That fucking thing is banging and he looked it up and it was Venus.
Nice.
Yeah.
I don't know, Venus is, what planet is that?
Venus is one closer to the sun than us.
Really?
Okay.
Yeah.
Mars is one further away.
Isn't it crazy that these planets are inhabitable?
Yeah.
Like you can't just go, you just can't planet hop.
No, you just can't do that.
You can't make it through the Van Allen belt.
I know Saturn, they have some crazy shit about Saturn.
Yeah.
Fucking, you know, listen, man.
Saturn's fucking amazing.
This is all hearsay from now on.
It is all hearsay because we've never actually seen it and this could all be just
fucking Hollywood movies they made.
I've never studied any of it either.
There's one planet I think that reigns diamonds.
Yeah.
I've seen, I watch all that science shit and all the universe movies and there's,
you know, TV shows and all that bullshit and I do love it, but it's probably a lot of bullshit
now that I really realize it.
What do you mean by bullshit?
I don't know.
Just because the way that the producer makes it or the way that the,
Well, no, just the way that they bullshit us about everything and lie to us that I wonder,
did we even ever go anywhere?
What do you mean?
Did we even send a probe?
Those fuckers went down to fucking the Titanic.
Well, that's true.
They did make it to that.
So I mean, well, I mean, you get a one-way ticket.
One-way ticket to hell.
Favorite song, Air Supply.
Hey, here's some Courtney Kardashian news.
Who's that?
Which one's that?
I don't know.
It's one of them sluts.
I'm kind of just saying it.
Why are they sluts?
I don't know why they are, but they certainly are.
Are they?
Oh yeah, man.
I don't know.
They're gold diggers.
First of all, listen, they're already got a little.
They're gold, they're billionaires.
I don't know, dude.
I know.
They're just fucking, I don't like them, mother fuckers.
When, okay, the only reason you'll like them is because their whole life has been televised.
Okay.
Well, it's a proven fact that people, like if they, if kids are exposed to like 10 minutes of
keeping up with the Kardashians, that their values goes down and their empathy towards
other people goes down almost instantly.
In 10 minutes?
Yeah.
That's how fucking bad those assholes are.
What's it like when they hang out with us?
Five minutes?
Check this out though.
Here's what this chick has.
She has a gummy that she developed.
Oh yeah, I heard about this, I think.
Yeah, it's supposed to make your pussy smell, taste, and be healthier.
What kind of gummy is that?
It doesn't get you high?
No, it's for, why would I take it then?
Well, no, it's for a woman to take and then it makes their pussy smell better.
What if he buy you one and you take it?
Well, it doesn't work though.
Here's the thing.
How do you know?
Well, did you take it?
Doctor, well, Dr. Anita Mehta from...
Anita Mehta.
I mean, are you making these names?
No, no, Anita Mitra.
I know.
Oh, man.
He writes it down himself.
That's my writing, it's very hard to read.
No, it's not.
She said there's a specific active ingredient that's supposedly going to do this job.
It's a contrapk.
Yeah, and it's not been particularly well researched.
That was her exact quote.
And?
So, and then another, and this is a great one.
You'll think I made this name up.
Dr. Jen Gunter.
No, that one's actually, I can read that.
Author of the vagina Bible.
Woo, now I'm interested.
Said the gummies are a total scam.
She says they're a scam and she wrote the Bible about the vagina.
So, I would say...
So, she's like the woman Jesus.
Yeah, I would think she knows.
Yeah, she's a Jesus.
The Jesus of pussy.
Thought she, you think Jesus got laid?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, come on.
Sure.
A guy could turn water into wine.
He could fucking make eye contact with anybody.
He would probably got me too back then.
Yeah, maybe.
I'm going to slap you with this halibut.
They had different rules back then.
You think?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I know they did.
I mean, they used to fight in the Roman gladiators, shit.
I mean, they beat this guy and made him carry across allegedly.
Yeah, and imagine that being not only Jesus got beaten brutally,
but imagine being like, you know, you get a little misdemeanor,
you go to jail for something, and now, all right, well, you know what?
We need a gladiator this week, so you're it, buddy.
And then all of a sudden you're...
Well, it's not even...
...throwing in with fucking, you know, some animal.
Like a lion or whatever.
Have you ever seen the movie gladiator?
No.
It kind of depicts on what happened.
And basically, they stole these people and they get their freedom.
They had the fight.
Okay.
So they're slaves.
Oh, I was reading this thing about the fucking...
Was it the Parthenon?
Not the Parthenon.
There is a Parthenon.
I know, there is.
That's Greece, though.
Yes.
But what's the one...
The Colosseum.
They used to flood it.
Yes.
And they'd have boat fights in there.
Yeah.
I mean...
That place is amazing.
I've never been.
Me either, but I have saw...
I've seen a show that was all explaining all the architecture of it
and all the underground shit going on and where they kept the animals.
The fucking Ginda Luz, man.
They know how to fucking do shit.
That fucker was built.
And you know what's amazing is that thing is...
You know, I mean, I know it's in ruins now, but it's still mostly standing.
And that motherfucker's like 3,000 years old.
What do you mean, mostly standing?
That shit is still up to the fucking 80%.
Yeah.
Well, I mean...
Yeah, and I'm saying that fucking shit is thousands of years old.
Yeah.
I mean...
A couple, 2,000.
War has time.
War has ruined...
Jesus went there, right?
And flipped fucking tables.
Religious wars has ruined everything.
Yeah.
Right?
Actually, Hitler didn't believe in religion.
He was more of a procurist.
He was looking at that guy...
Which we don't know about.
A procurist, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, come on, man.
You are this fucking cougar shit, dude.
Imagine what a fucking...
No, this is a man.
Oh, is that Ronnie?
Yeah, imagine what a hillbilly.
Wait a second.
Let me think with this guy.
Wait a second.
Is that prime?
Or what happened?
Wait a second.
Did something happen to him or is that prime?
Yes, something bad happened to him.
Oh, man.
Ronnie what?
Ray Ray, R-A-Y.
Man, all I see is a real bad tractor accident.
No, you would think so with that name.
Especially, he's...
Oh, shit.
He's from Donalinton County, South Carolina.
Okay.
And he was murdered outside of a KFC on Interstate 20
in Bishopsville.
Man, you already really given out
the specifics of this story.
Yeah, this motherfucker though.
Okay, well, why do you get murdered?
This is fucking...
This is the brutal part.
Oh, that he wasn't...
This guy...
That his intestines were demolished by KFC?
No, no, no, no, no.
They didn't use him for, they didn't use him for meat.
Well, no, I'm saying he had a bad shit and died.
Right, yeah, exactly.
Imagine what that KFC...
He ordered number three and fucking, number two to death.
Imagine what that KFC is like.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that has gotta be...
Route 20 and fucking...
In the middle of snow and everything.
Route 20.
Right? That's fucking great.
He was supposed to meet up with these cats to sell them a dog.
He was a dog.
Wait a second, he met up with cats to buy his dog?
These dudes, these guys.
Sounds like a fucking bad deal from the beginning.
So, he sells...
He was selling French bulldogs.
Okay, they're pricey.
Which are very desirable, yes.
Yeah, they're for $2,000.
Right, he was gonna get $2,500 for a puppy.
Yeah, he just looked up on the other day.
So he shows up with the puppy and meets these people.
Please don't tell me that.
They grab the leash from them and shoot the guy.
They shoot him at least three times.
For a $2,500 dog?
Yeah, multiple assailants.
They left his bullet-ridden body just bleeding out in the fucking parking lot of the KFC.
Did the bull...
Slow down. KFC has cameras.
Yeah, yeah.
They saw everything, yes.
Well, I mean, the cameras...
The guys got away anyway.
Well, they'll catch them eventually.
And the guy, Lonnie actually brought someone with them, a friend, who was 77.
Jesus Christ.
Because he knew that these fuckers could be shady.
But...
Obviously his friend didn't do anything.
He didn't even get shot, either, the friend.
They just shot Lonnie.
Maybe he was in on it.
I doubt it, man.
What do you mean you doubt it?
It was an inside job.
Just like 9-11.
People they fucking met.
This is dog 11.
Maybe, maybe.
Yeah, I got his dog walker got shot walking.
Oh, it's her dog.
Have you ever heard the video?
No.
Oh my God, it is a treat for your ears and eyes, Larry.
He's literally walking the dogs.
And this guy pulls up and they...
They're shooting them while he's...
They scream and like a bat out of hell.
Oh my gosh.
This guy must have been listening to Meatloaf.
She got her dogs back though.
Lonnie's dog got stolen.
And he fucking lost his life.
Lonnie Ray.
Ray's out to pray for her out to your family.
Is that his last name?
Ray.
I wonder what his middle name was.
A probably Arnold.
Arnold.
Alan.
Adele was a drunk, apparently.
You know that?
Adele, the singer.
That's it.
I just want to be smirked.
I just...
Welcome to Larry's Besmerching Corner.
He just called us.
It happened at the perfect time
when I took a big fatty hit.
Larry's Besmerching Corner.
Soon we're going to turn on all our listeners
and we're going to make
full statements up about you.
No. I would never ever do that, man.
This is, this was
something I saw in the National
Choir and they said that Adele
that Adela's just got a problem tipping him back.
And I just-
Who doesn't?
Yeah, but she really, I guess, is going wild.
And for them to say that about a rock star,
she must really be fucking hitting it, you know?
Come on, I mean, it's all fucking,
it's all shit for your ears.
Yeah, I know, it's probably for your ears.
I can't believe Larry, if people saw Larry,
they would never think he would read the Inquirer,
because Inquirer in mind's one and no.
And you know what?
Excuse me.
The weed is good.
And it's so funny that those rags,
they make so many of them.
And I've always looked at them
when I'm doing groceries and shit, you know?
Yeah, I like the one that was called a National Examiner.
And on the cover of every one was an alien
like shaking hands with the president or something.
Yeah, not photoshopped at all.
That was really fucking-
That was far-fetched.
That one's not even photoshopped.
They like cut off the pictures and taped them together.
How about the one in England shows tits and ass?
Well, they all do.
When we're on tour in Europe,
we would look at the newspaper every day.
I think it's like on page six,
there's like a page five girl or something they call it.
And there's some hot fucking bras.
It's just tits and ass, I just said that, I mean.
But you know, that's how that goes.
There's this deaf woman, Kayla Vaught.
What's her name?
Vaught, VOGT, Kayla.
Okay, Kayla Vaught.
And she was, and there was a picture of her, man.
And she was a nurse at this North Memorial Hospital
in Minnesota.
Man, I would fucking want this bitch to nurse me
any fucking day of the week.
She was one of the hottest fucking nurses I ever saw, really.
And I didn't meet her in person, but the picture,
I mean, was stunning.
They had several pictures of her.
Okay.
She sued this hospital for $180,000 and won
because when COVID came out,
yeah, everybody had the masks on
and she informed these people that I'm deaf.
They didn't even know she was deaf.
Okay, so she's deaf and wearing a mask.
Now they said, okay, well, you can't read lips
and they just fired her ass and.
You can't read lips of the mask on.
That's what I'm saying.
I mean, come on, I mean, Jesus Christ.
But she fucking brought him to court
because they fired her and didn't want to work out
any kind of fucking compromise at all with her.
And she won.
Well, that's not even a compromise.
It's called Fucking American Disabilities Act.
You know, you can't.
Fire someone because they're fucking disabled.
No, no, but you can't.
You can't, can you?
Fuck, man, I'm stoned.
You can't, Larry, work with me here, kid.
You can't fuck with the fucking people
that have disabilities.
There's a better word than I'm trying to,
but I'm just gonna make it out in stupid terms.
Well, no, that's terminology, I believe.
You can't fuck with them in the law.
It's like you need a ramp for such a thing.
It's like you need a ramp for shit.
You need for a wheelchair.
You need one.
You can't discriminate against someone
because of their disability.
Well, exactly, there we go.
Discriminate, that's right.
Thank you, Larry.
Especially because she already had the fucking job
is the thing.
And people knew her disability.
It wasn't like.
Well, they didn't even really realize that she was deaf.
I guess she was pulling it off.
What was she doing?
Hopefully she was in security at a rock concert.
Because that would make a lot more sense.
I don't know, man.
She was a nurse.
I mean, she had no sign language when she didn't sign
language, somebody fucking.
No, she just carried on and looked at people's mouth.
Oh, man, yeah, but.
I don't know, I don't know, dude.
I didn't work with her.
Well, you read the story.
Yeah, it wasn't like an encyclopedia.
It was only a encyclopedia.
It's not even an encyclopedia.
Didn't you read any further?
Or did you read the first paragraph?
Exactly, see, you fucking ass clown, I know you, man.
You can't even debate me on this.
Do you think that's fair that they fired that bitch?
I think they shouldn't have fired her.
Well, how long ago was this?
This was about two months ago, three months ago.
No, with COVID in masks?
No, well, she just won the lawsuit.
Oh, she did?
Yeah, she won $180,000.
Shout out to.
Shout out to Kayla.
Kayla Vaught, V-O-G-T, yeah.
And she was pretty, man.
So he figured 33% is going to her lawyer.
Okay, we're not good at math here,
so you guys do the math for us, but, you know.
That's where a lawyer usually gets 30 to 35%.
She's gonna end up, she's.
Seriously?
Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
This is beautiful.
She'll end up with like 60, she'll end up with like, you know.
Oh, man, this is great.
Larry does math.
Our other new corner.
Yeah.
I should bring my kid in here,
and you guys, you know what's weird though too,
if you want to hear some shit where you can't believe
that they never found out.
Okay.
Well, I was reading this thing where it said,
Flavor Flav.
Oh, love him.
Love him.
Shout out to the public enemy.
Real name fucking William Jonathan Drayden Jr.
What did he do bad now?
Well, not really.
He was a real man.
Not too bad now.
Not that he didn't do anything we wouldn't do or didn't do,
but he supposedly spent $6 million on crack in six years
while public enemy was going on
and had this big time fucking crack habit going
and somehow kept it a secret from Chuck D
and all the rest of the inside crew that was his buddies.
Oh, that's a first.
I know.
That's what he says that they didn't fucking know.
Bullshit.
The motherfuckers first.
First of all, could they not know, right?
Chuck D was a sober motherfucker.
You can't tell your boys on drugs.
You can't tell fucking guys.
Literally, I walked in today and I was like,
are you on drugs?
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like, you're my boy.
You don't think Chuck D's gonna be like,
hey Flav, you need to stop smoking crack?
That's what they said in this article.
I found it hard to believe.
$6 million, so a million dollars a year on crack.
That's a lot of code.
Fuck man, I wish we could do the math on this.
Man Larry, this is a math heavy episode.
I know, but you know what's funny is No Shirt Nick
while Public Enemy was recording that
Bring the Noise video with anthrax,
they did the recording on 18th and State in Chicago
in front of a burning building
that they were gonna tear down anyway.
And my brother fucking, you know,
cause he knew people back then.
We were little rock, junior rock stars.
And he had a one on one basketball game
with Flavor Flav and No Shirt Nick whipped his ass.
And he said one of the reasons-
Wait a second, No Shirt Nick.
No Shirt Nick.
He'd Flavor Flav.
In a game of one on one basketball.
Are you kidding me?
No, I'm dead serious.
And one of the reasons my brother goes to the race-
I mean, Jesus, dude.
He wouldn't take off the clock thing
from around his neck and my brother would say,
you just put that thing down
and no one's gonna take it from you.
But he, you know,
Okay listen.
It compromised his game.
Listen, okay, for you to smoke a million dollars a crack
in one year, 365 days, that's $2,739, $40.
So write that down.
My pen all of a sudden is over.
$2,740.
This fucking pen doesn't work, man.
Can you believe this?
It's like your dick.
What the fuck, dude?
Okay, 2,740 dollars a day on crack.
Okay.
Let's now figure you're getting ounces of crack.
500.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Let's figure out how much he did a day.
The fucker was smoking four ounces or more
or a crack a day, a quarter pound of crack a day.
That's impossible.
Yeah, I know.
That's fucking impossible.
Welcome to drug mass.
Flare in needles.
Because I'll tell you what, man,
I smoked a lot of crack and not.
Okay, well, you didn't need to say that to our listeners,
but that's fine.
We all know you have a,
Anyways, but I haven't done it in many, many, many,
many years, but I could tell you,
when I was going balls out,
even hanging around with the dealer,
there was no way anybody even got close
to smoking near an ounce.
The first one is the best one, and then you chase it.
And it's never ever, I mean, it does, but then you die.
If you're smoking a quarter pound a day,
that's like smoking up 10 people every day too.
Like, and everyone's going wild with big fucking hits too.
So yeah.
But he actually has arrests for doing,
he pulled the shotgun out on crack,
but $6 million.
Yeah, that's fucking ridiculous.
I mean, that's fucking an interesting over.
It's hard to believe.
So he's full of shit.
We call bullshit on Flavor Flav, allegedly.
No, not allegedly.
No, I call bullshit not allegedly,
but allegedly.
On the news article we see.
Yeah, that was just alleged.
Who knows if that's the truth?
I saw this other thing about this fucking,
it was the meteorologist from Fox News, Adam Klotz.
Oh, is that the guy with the child?
He's from New York City?
What?
Oh, no, okay.
No, he didn't do any child weird shit,
but speaking of children though,
two 15 year old kids in a 17 year old kid
plus one of their friends that they didn't catch
beat the fuck out of that guy on a subway train.
Oh yeah, I heard about that.
They were starting someone's hair on fire.
Is this Frisco?
No, this is in New York.
Okay, I missed you, I'm sorry.
Yeah, and you know, they fucked him up with bad bruised ribs,
black eyes, cuts and bruises on his face and whatnot.
Did you say black eyes?
Yeah, black eyes.
No, you missed that one.
Was it, I know, yeah.
Well, no, I don't know.
And the kids were screaming, you know,
put him to sleep, put him to sleep.
Was there around him in a circle, kicking him and shit?
And you know, all he was like trying to protect some guy
that was getting his hair lit on fire
by these crazy motherfuckers.
Can I say something?
Sure.
Within the last, okay, so how many people, let's see,
so I think 13 people got murdered in Chicago last week.
Yeah, oh, I got some numbers upstairs.
Okay, well, that doesn't help me, I'm not.
The Juneteenth was a hell of a fucking celebration.
One day, the Juneteenth was bad.
I think there was over 40 or 50 murders on that day.
In Chicago.
No, not in Chicago, or across the country.
I got the numbers upstairs, I wrote them down, shit.
They're not in my notebooks, so I don't have them on me.
I should have fucking had those.
But man, it was a lot, it was a lot.
Imagine if you and I went to a party
and we had to worry about somebody carrying a gun.
Yeah, well.
Seriously.
Well.
Do you wanna live like that?
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, it sucks to live like that.
Well, first of all, you know.
I mean, what does it, what does-
It's all their behavior, it's the behavior
of the people doing it.
What does killing get you?
Nothing.
Nothing, well, I don't know.
It could be a jail sentence.
Yeah.
Or you could kill-
Maybe not, not around here.
You get a fucking ankle brace,
let it get to go out and keep killing.
You'll get away with it until you do something bad again.
An ankle bracelet is just a band-aid.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
An ankle stuff is slow.
It ain't gonna do anything.
No, man, let me tell you.
It doesn't even keep him in the house for five minutes.
I've worn an ankle bracelet four times.
I know.
You know what I mean?
You swimming in my pool with an ankle bracelet.
Yeah.
At least it was clean.
Probably the cleanest it's ever been.
Cleanest ankle bracelet in the world.
Yes.
I should have bedazzled it.
We could have done weird foot porn with it.
Yeah, yeah.
How about this, man?
Marion Ross, you know who that is?
That's Mrs. C.
I heard the name.
That's Mrs. C from Happy Days.
Okay.
She's 90 fucking four years old.
Damn, she's still alive.
Yeah, and you know what?
Oh, shit, dude.
Yeah, she's all hot and wet to fucking
make a new Happy Days quick before she dies.
Yeah.
She's 94.
Yeah, and Henry.
Mitch, lay down, we need some tan-ax.
Bonsie, right.
Bonsie who's 77 said, yeah, okay, I'll do it with you.
They should do a porno.
Soon that would be easy.
Would you bang her, Mrs. C?
What does she look like?
Well, she's 94 now.
Well, that doesn't, I mean, that's just-
Do you remember her?
Age is just a number, Larry.
I don't know what she looks like now, but I mean-
Well, what did I tell you last episode?
I want pictures.
We'll back in a day, I would have fucking banged Mrs. C.
I mean, for sure.
Okay, but-
She was cute.
Yeah, and?
Would I bang her?
I mean, I'm 94.
I might do it just because she's Mrs. C from Happy Days.
The only way I do it is she broke me into her will
because I'd bust her hip out.
I don't want to get arrested.
She'd have to sign an NDA.
But you know, I doubt that they're gonna get Ron Howard,
who's Richie, one of the main characters.
Yeah, no, that ain't gonna happen.
And then they got Don Most, that's Ralph Malfe.
He probably hasn't done shit in the last-
Don E. Most.
50 years, yeah, he'll be easy to get.
And Anson Williams, Potsy, he's fucking easy to get.
They're still live all these people.
Yeah, those three are, but you know, what's funny is
there was no mention whatsoever of Scott Bale,
you know, Chachi, Ponzi's nephew.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, he's a-
Because he's a right-leaning fucking guy.
I don't know about that.
And they're all lefties.
No, that's for sure.
He probably said no.
No, no, no.
They didn't even ask-
How do you know?
Cause, man, they didn't even mention the motherfucker.
Exactly, so he probably said no.
Because I happen to know that he's a righty
and these motherfuckers are all lefties.
All right, now you're just fucking making accusations.
I'm telling ya.
Listen, I'm gonna tell you right now.
I'm telling you, that's my theory and you fucking-
Fucking Chachi Banks so much, plus dude.
Dude, Scott Bale got-
I mean, why wouldn't they have him?
Pam Anderson fucking all the Baywatch crew-
Why wouldn't they have him, man?
He's a big drop there.
Cause he's got cash.
He doesn't need it.
Dude, so does fucking Ponzi.
He's doing them fucking reverse mortgages and shit.
You got him confused with another guy.
Ponzi, Henry Winkler.
Hey.
Yeah, I know who that motherfucker is.
That motherfucker is mortgages and shit.
I don't watch TV, so I don't know.
He used to, at least.
Oh, well, there you go.
Man, you just changed your tune so quickly.
No, he does, man.
I'm sure-
He did.
He still does, I'm sure.
How do you know?
Well, I'm sure he does.
Oh, now we're speculating.
Oh, yeah, suck my dick.
Fonzarelli fucking doing reverse mortgages.
You don't fucking know shit.
You're the one who's speculating.
How do I know shit?
Fonzarelli does not do reverse mortgages.
Well, anyways, Tom Bosley, Mr. C, he's fucking dead.
Wait a second, wait, wait.
Tom Bosley.
The hair guy.
The dad.
Who's that?
Mr. C, from fucking happy days.
Oh, we're still talking about happy days.
Dude, yeah, we didn't change the subject.
I thought we were gonna because-
Hell, not in there.
Okay, Aaron Moore-
Just like Tom Bosley, this bit is dead.
Okay, fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Fucking amazing, I love you literally.
You suck.
Fuck you.
All right, cockhole.
Brian Warner, 54 years old,
stands accused of sexually abusing a woman for years.
Jesus Christ, literally.
Starting when she was 16 years old.
It's not the first time he's been charged with sex crimes.
Who, she or he?
He, Brian Warner.
Okay.
He's a fucking-
From where?
He's Marilyn Manson.
Huh?
Marilyn Manson, Brian Warner, that's-
That's his name.
No, I thought his name was different than that.
Are you sure?
No, I'm pretty damn fucking sure, I read it.
Okay.
He's a fucking dirtbag, Satanist, Jag off.
I'd like to get that out there.
Larry.
Yeah, let's-
Wait a second, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Listen, when you have a whole persona,
you have to keep up with it, right?
So you gotta fucking have some broad captives
in your house who-
First of all, I'm gonna tell you right now,
you don't, this guy, you think he's really
holding women captive?
Yeah.
He probably got caught up in the moment with her,
and they both were doing drugs and shit got bad,
and I'm not defending him, but I'm saying-
I'm playing-
You've been in a moment of complete disrepair.
I've been in that moment.
And it just fucking blows out.
Yeah.
Yeah, you haven't?
And you're just like, I need the call-
Yeah, but I wouldn't keep someone hostage or fucking-
No, no, no, no, see, but, okay, listen.
First of all, Rachel Wood-Evon was-
First of all, he started fucking banging her
when she was 16.
So I think that's against the law as far as the-
No, I mean, you're a lawyer.
I know the law.
He might have flown to fucking-
Flown her to fucking-
Fuck, Idaho.
Poland.
I don't know, Idaho, someone where their laws
are lax on that stuff.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Seriously, this guy tours the country.
You don't think these pedophiles are like,
hey, I'm gonna be in Idaho, the legal limit is 15.
You never looked at that ad, did you, Larry?
That aspect of it?
Well, I don't know.
Yeah, you do know.
We just talked about-
Whatever, who cares?
This story's fucking dead too.
Oh.
I got a better one.
I got a way better one anyway.
That was just something for me to cut into Marilyn Manson.
Because I think he's a chooch.
Yeah, he really is a chooch.
He's a cunt.
His music sucks.
I don't like his music.
I really don't listen to it.
People are fucking enthralled by it.
It doesn't tickle my fancy.
He's a fucking black magician, devil-worsening.
Oh, he's black?
Yeah.
Oh.
In his heart.
Hmm.
Okay.
Do you think the kids that beat down-
The Marines?
No, beat down the Fox News guy were white or black.
Come on, Larry, you forgot to play this game.
I mean, this is mad at us now.
I know, now, see, that's what you do to me, motherfucker.
Okay, here I'm about this.
I think you're racist.
That's what I do to you.
That's what you get.
Here you go.
Oh, that's what I get now.
Shut your fucking pie hole.
You're gonna love this one.
Oh, man.
This is fucking ridiculous.
God damn you.
When I saw this, I was like, are you fucking kidding me?
All right, well.
I'm gonna read it like three times.
The suspense is killing me.
New title episode.
This lady.
Jennifer Mage.
Come on, Larry.
I mean, you know, making stories out.
MAEDGE.
Wait, what?
It's Mage, MAEDGE.
And she's a hoarder, okay?
And- Of what?
Everything.
Her house is just filled with shit.
Yeah, I know those people.
All kinds of shit.
And so her husband goes missing and she calls the cops.
Oh, man, come on, Larry.
She can't find him.
Larry, this is just, I mean, Larry, come on, man.
You're just throwing corn on the top of the water
and getting someone to bite.
Because man, Larry, please finish, please.
I apologize for interrupting you, but man.
Oh, what was his name again?
Oh, wait, his name was Richard.
Richard what?
Mage.
Richard Mage, okay.
He was 53.
All right, all right, Pete Richard.
And his wife, Jennifer,
she reports him missing in April
and they're looking all over the cops,
they're looking for him.
They searched the house for him a couple times.
Oh, they're hoarders.
Yeah, and they're hoarders.
They can't find him.
And it turns out the motherfucker-
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, wait, okay.
Yeah, well, you know.
I was gonna guess that something fell on him
and he got buried.
No, but so, you know, they couldn't even find him
because of the, even if he was dead in the house,
because the house smelled so fucking bad already.
A decomposing body?
A decomposing body blended in.
Would not alter the air quality.
Exactly.
You're just huffing human flesh.
This fucking motherfucker is dead for eight months
in the house and she finds him
when she's putting up the Christmas fucking decorations.
Oh, yeah, she goes in the attic.
I think he was in the closet, but this fucking guy-
Yeah, you're just like you.
Yeah.
It was fucking crazy though, man,
because the coroner said Richard was way past
the point of decomposition and he was a mummy.
He actually was mummified.
He turned into a mummy.
Oh, because everything was compressed down him?
Yeah, I got so-
Or in the attic maybe because of the conditions.
I don't know.
And you know what blows my mind?
Is this fucking bitch with a house like that
with all this shit and you can't even find a dead body?
You don't even know where your husband is for eight fucking
months and you know where the Christmas tree decorations
and shit are?
Obviously you've never watched Hoarders The Show, have you?
It's fucking insane, man.
Have you watched Hoarders The Show?
I've seen an episode or two, but I don't-
Okay, so one or two.
Okay, so listen.
I don't like to get into it.
They have episodes, Larry, where people,
literally their bathroom is just filled with stuff
and they shit in a bucket and throw it out.
They have dead animals in the house.
I had six cats, now I have two.
And where are the other four?
Where do you think they are, bitch?
Dead somewhere.
Yeah, exactly.
This motherfucker, her house smelled so bad,
like fucking sewage and shit.
Like human death?
That you couldn't even smell the fucking dead guy.
The cops didn't even know where he was.
I mean, come on, dude.
That is fucking-
This is the-
She was from Illinois.
The worst fucking police fucking state.
Well, who knows?
I mean, the police work ever.
They didn't go in the attic.
They couldn't find this guy.
You imagine this-
Oh, in a closet?
They might not have wanted to spend very much time
on that fucking joint anyway.
Larry, listen.
They've probably said, I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Isn't that crazy?
Imagine dying in your own house.
And you're fucking-
Nobody finding you for eight months.
And they're just like, oh, that motherfucker's gone.
It was nice, though.
Dude, he was dead in the corner.
And they're just like eating TV dinners
and like a narrow pathway to the kitchen.
But you've never seen hoarders, which is crazy.
Dude, these people have shit stacked up
almost to the fucking ceiling.
And they have passed through them.
Yeah, I've seen-
I saw one or two episodes.
I have seen it where it was crazy.
It's amazing that people-
Like, it's weird how the human brain works.
You know what I mean?
Like, you could be addicted to something
or you could be addicted to this.
Like, you like smelling feet.
Or you like farting on chicks.
How did you know?
Oh, I mean, dude,
you got the worst hippy feet right now, Larry.
They are so dirty.
It is disgusting.
I really did not even want to let you
in the lab with those things.
Oh, man.
Dude, I mean, see, it looks like-
You look Barney Rubble, dude.
It looks like you've been stopping fucking cars all day.
They're actually pretty clean.
I had to go in my garage.
No, they're dirty as fuck, dude.
They're black as shit.
Other than the black part, they're clean.
They mean the tops of your foot.
Yeah, the top.
The top part's are fucking-
It's like you got vans on.
And then they're like, oh, that's just your feet.
Ha ha ha.
Like dark souls.
Oh, fuck me, man.
Yeah, oh, Jesus.
Larry, you're not my type.
Well, that's not what I hear.
Fucking-
From who?
Ha ha ha.
Who is bringing that down the pipe line?
That's not the word.
That's not the word around voice, though.
You've been having a real problem with that lately.
I don't know.
No, it shouldn't be.
Hey, listen, you remember Lyle and Eric Menendez?
What do you mean, do I remember that?
I mean, come on, man.
Remember when you gave me that basketball card?
Oh, yeah.
For you.
Dude, I gave Larry...
Ha ha ha ha.
If you don't know, Eric and Lyle.
Okay, you go through it, Larry, though.
Eric and Lyle Menendez were at a basketball game,
supposedly the night-
Oh, the three of their backstory,
and then you were gonna-
Oh, their backstory was, you know,
everyone should know about the Menendez.
Not at all.
They killed their parents,
but they said that their father molested them and shit,
and beat them and treated them terribly.
They were fucking viable accusations about that.
I don't know, viable for your work.
Here's one of the fucked up things now.
They've been locked up for 30 fucking years.
Anyways, Niels bought me a basketball card,
and Eric and Lyle Menendez are in the front row courtside,
on this guy, something Jackson.
And they just killed their parents a couple days ago.
And they're at a fucking game,
taking in a nice courtside seat.
Well, anyways, these motherfuckers have been locked up
for 30 years now.
And now this guy, Roy Rosello,
he was the singer from Minuto.
He was the singer from Minuto.
Oh yeah, cause he came forward and said that
Lyle Menendez fucking molested him.
Which is crazy.
These guys probably shouldn't have been fucking good.
You know, he did, he ate their soup.
Ah.
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Oh man.
That's fucking good.
So, you know, maybe fucking Eric and Lyle,
you know, should not be locked up like they are.
Maybe they already did their time.
30 years was long enough.
Okay, so they killed their dad,
but the guy was fucking ass raping him the whole time.
But we don't know that.
Well, he fucking had his way with Roy.
I do know from one of my other favorite podcasts,
Little Stinkers, that Jose Menendez,
went out of this country, came back,
had a party with a bunch of people,
and put on a video of children watching people having sex.
Come on.
That's recounted by people that were at the party
and they all laughed.
What the fuck is wrong with that guy?
So, you know what?
These Eric and Lyle should probably be let out.
I say freedom and then does, boys.
Do you think they're gonna kill again?
No.
Exactly.
I think that they had something against their dad
who, in rightfully so.
It was a grudge.
I'm gonna tell you right now.
As soon as those fuckers get out of prison
and go to a halfway house,
the amount of pussy and money
that's gonna be raining on them,
man, you couldn't fend it off with a seven pound alligator.
I know.
I mean, 11 footer for that matter.
They're just, they got an alligator.
Hey, but I don't even think that they're ever gonna even
be considered to be let out just because,
you know, this other guy says,
yeah, Jose Menendez did this to me.
But there's also other people saying that that happened.
Yeah, and obviously if he's showing that kind of a movie
at a fucking party, guys fucked up.
And he was laughing.
That's the kind of person that we'd like to get down here
in the studio when the tapes aren't rolling
and fucking work them over in the soundproof room.
I am not having gay sex in the lab.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I mean, we have to work down here.
This is the place of work I should call Osho.
He's having gay sex down there.
This is a drug free workplace.
Free drug workplace.
This is a free, this is a work free drug place.
Oh my God, Larry, how many times
have you got a butcher to that motherfucker?
No, this used to be-
A free drug workplace.
No, dude, no, it should be,
this is a work free drug place.
Yes. Yeah.
And then we switch it around.
Welcome to my wool.
Notice there's no pee in it.
Fuck you.
Some guy in Arkansas fucking...
He gets arrested.
I love you, Larry.
He gets arrested for giving his kid a fucking pierced ear.
How old was the kid?
The kid was like under 16, but, you know,
he wanted it.
40 seconds, 40 seconds.
Who's this boy?
Okay, so a guy in Arkansas.
Yeah.
Got arrested.
For piercing his son's ear.
On his own?
Yeah.
He put the needle through the ear?
Or did he go to a shop and get it done?
I think he did it.
But what's the difference?
Who cares?
Speculatory Larry.
What the fuck is the difference?
Because it makes a huge difference.
Does it?
Yeah, because now that place is liable
if they let a fucking little kid do that shit.
I think he did it.
He did it at home.
Let's go meet him.
His name is Jeremy Sherlin.
He's 45 years old.
Nice.
Well, he is a good dude.
He's a cool dude.
He's a tough guy, too.
He took five fucking cops to fucking take him down.
Jesus, Larry.
I mean, that's not really a tough guy.
Was he on PCP?
No, he just wasn't having it, man.
He said fuck you and the cops.
Come on, one guy takes on five guys.
No, he didn't take them on.
They got them, but it took five of them.
Man, this is when we need video to pull it up
and let me watch it.
We don't got that kind of budget.
We need a capability.
It shall be a little soon.
And the kid wanted to get his ears pierced.
Check out Larry's Onlyfans.
Flintstone feet, hashtag Larry.
That's how we're paying for our video equipment.
Yeah, I mean, you figure 80 to 90% of girls under 16 have their fucking ears pierced.
Why should this boy's dad get in trouble for this?
I don't understand the story.
It's very confusing.
Look, he went to school with a pierced ear and someone turned him in and for what?
Fucking being too young.
I don't know.
Some loudmouth teacher.
Fucking this motherfucker.
Yeah, so it has some.
Probably that's what I mean.
I mean, that's what I'm saying.
They shouldn't have arrested the guy, man.
Don't you can't follow a fucking story, dude.
Come on.
Man, you need to stop looking at that other guy and saying that.
Not that and forth.
No, I understand what you're fucking saying, Larry, but that is Asinine.
This guy fucking his kid goes to school, he pierces his ear.
I understand that.
But at the same time.
It's Asinine that someone turned him in and that they fucking arrested the guy is the
part that I think is Asinine.
What other underlying issues were there?
They didn't they didn't say any other.
But you don't know that's what I'm saying.
There might have been other underlying issues.
Did he have a sister?
The kid didn't want.
There's stuff going on.
I don't know, but the kid didn't want his dad to get arrested and he said, I want him
my ears pierced, leave my dad alone.
You fucking.
This is what this is.
How old was he again?
You never give me a live copper.
All of a sudden he started speaking like a fucking gangster.
Listen here, coppers.
He's from South Carolina.
No, that would be funny.
Arkansas.
So if they intertwined the gangster talk with the Southern Draw, that would be pretty
funny.
That's a new type of gangster movie right there.
Pending Larry and Needles.
Down South.
Is it Pending or Trademarked?
Pending if it's like a toy.
Clothing or something like that.
Trademarked Larry and Needles.
Yeah.
We're going to intertwine what again?
Shit.
Oh shit.
How about fucking McDonald's?
You like McDonald's?
Nope.
Me either.
You know that they're the biggest purchasers of eyeballs in the world, right?
I mean fucking, Jesus Christ Larry.
I mean, if you're going to hit a grand slam, you better back this fucker up.
No, it is.
Well, you know, when George Bush was in office, he made all his fucking millionaire cow friend.
He made it.
Wait a second.
Stop.
Why would you throw the water bottle?
I want to crush it up, but I don't want to make noise in the mic, so I'm going to crush
it up when we're done and throw it in the thing, man.
But anyways, George Bush said any part of the cattle, no matter what part it is, is considered
beef.
So when McDonald's writes 100% pure beef, it's like eyeballs and fucking all sorts of
fucking crazy shit.
Man, Larry.
I mean, a cow's eyeball.
One time I was staring at a cow eye to eye.
I was smoking a joint and I got scared because it started.
I snorted, which is amazing.
Yeah.
It started coming at me a little bit and it made this weird noise and fucking the eyeball
and the cow is like the size of my fist, man.
It's like bigger than a league ball.
You know what I'm saying?
It was like scary.
The eyeball?
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Because cows are fucking big, man.
1400 pounds.
Over a ton, right?
Yeah.
What's a ton?
A ton is 2,000 pounds.
Okay.
So three quarters of a ton.
But anyways, McDonald's had this 10 year old, they got caught with some 10 year old boy
working a deep fryer.
Wait a second.
Wait, where is this?
I'll tell you.
And then the 10th grader burnt his fucking hand with hot oil.
I know I should laugh at that, but it's funny as fuck.
No, it's not.
Children are getting maimed in your laugh.
And they got them.
Listen.
They got them on this podcast.
They got them working midnight, sometimes two in the morning and they're barely paying
them or sometimes not even on the clock.
Is he special needs?
No, and it's McDonald's is doing this.
Which McDonald's?
Let's call them out.
62 locations across several states.
What McDonald's is doing it?
62 different ones.
Larry.
Across the country.
I want the ones, the names of the kids that are doing this.
We can boycat them.
Oh fuck, man.
I mean, you're the one who brought these numbers to me.
Well, they lost the settlement in court.
Now this is the McDonald's.
They got sued over this.
And now this is the fucked up part.
Suing because getting sued for child labor is not a good look.
No.
And here's the bad part is they only fucking paid out $212,754.
Split between 62 fucking stores, man.
Okay.
That's ridiculous.
Wait a second.
Yeah, that's less than $3,500.
What was the payout?
Well, $212,754.
Damn.
Split between 62 fucking stores.
They had 32, 33% because of the lawyers.
Right.
Now listen to this, man.
That means they're only paying a little less than $3,500 each.
It's $3,400.
It's $3,431.
There's probably a lot more than that.
I'm going to be honest with you.
It sounds like someone's getting fucking bamboozled.
Right?
Jesus Christ.
Because it doesn't even sound like it's enough money for the fucking one kid they got his
fucking hand burnt.
No.
Right?
Are you kidding me?
It's so far.
You should get fucking 10 million for fucking kids.
For the one kid.
Yeah.
I know.
That's another thing.
I was like, man, I don't know.
This isn't what happens when the justice system fucking takes fucking...
How many fucking kids got it?
It takes advantage of people of lesser...
Right, right.
Lesser status, lesser class, lesser income.
Lesser income.
Or people that are immigrants or stuff like that.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Fully.
And that's what they do.
People know the rights also.
Yeah.
Well, when we were kids, man, Jim, Jim Worsing, our old guitarist and singer, he worked at
Sabaro's Pizza in Woodfield.
Love a good Sabaro.
He was only 14 or 15 years old and he wasn't supposed to be...
I think he was 14 and he wasn't supposed to be working.
Okay.
And they let him work there anyway.
And he cut his finger real bad.
And he cut his tendon and that was the guy where his ring finger would never straighten
out again.
Remember we talked about him on another program?
Maybe.
He switched from...
I mean, I don't know other programs you're doing, but I'm not doing programs.
Fucking idiot.
One of our podcasts.
High-cast me, yes.
Oh, yeah.
That's because you're blacked out.
You know what, fuck you.
That's because you're blacked out drunk.
You don't remember?
Look at you.
You can't even keep your feet clean.
You're rubbing shit all over the place.
Oh, what the fuck ever.
Anyways.
I mean, when we were in the gym, when we were kids, oh, you know, you better not tell anybody
because you're underage working and you might get in trouble.
What do you mean?
And they fucked him and he didn't get his finger fixed properly and it fucking affected
him the rest of his entire life.
But he was a finger banging champion of Chicago.
No, he couldn't straighten his finger out.
So it was...
His knuckle, that's what I'm saying.
He rubbed it on the clit.
Clit rubbing champion of Chicago.
Well, finger banging, clit rubbing, okay, whatever.
They both got hand in hand.
Oh, or without one hand.
Boom.
Did you...
Had a high hat.
Sometimes you got to use two hands on them, you know.
Who?
How do you know this?
Finger banging.
You know.
No, I don't.
Well, man, then you don't know what you're doing, boy.
You sound like Vishnu.
What are you doing over there?
You don't know what you're doing then.
Oh, yeah.
Because I mean, I'm a fucking folk artist.
How many kids do you think had to get maimed before they fucking execute Ronald McDonald?
They came out of fucking left field.
All right, well, I'll go to the wall and play this one, Larry.
I don't say 468.
I wonder, do you think anyone ever lost an eye working in McDonald's?
Okay, listen, how long has McDonald's been in existence?
Pretty long time.
Do you really think nobody's died or gotten maimed?
It's like Disney World.
They had to, right?
Yeah.
Well, Disney World is obvious you're going to get killed there.
There's so many places.
It's not.
It's the happiest place on Earth I know you mean.
It's obvious you're going to get killed there.
Dude, that's too snorkeling.
That should be the episode name.
Okay.
Do they even let them use knives at McDonald's?
I've never even seen them with a knife back there.
Plastic.
Everything's, even the people working, right?
Back of the house?
Yeah.
If you want to call it that.
Do they even use, need a knife at McDonald's?
I mean, everything's already pre-padded up, right?
I mean, depending on what kind of plays you have.
I'm sure everybody needs a knife at one point.
I'm sure they all have switch blades.
First of all, I'm going to tell you right now, I've watched a lot of videos when it
really goes against the whole thing of never bringing a knife to a gunfight.
Right, right.
Because this guy comes in, tries to rob a little Caesars, and he gets 300.
Do you ever see the movie 300?
Yes, yes.
They channel them into that little thing, and there's a little counter where this guy's
got to come in.
Well, he's looking this way.
The employee comes up with a knife, whack, whack, whack, three in the back, drops to the
ground, call the cops, cops come, take them away, no charges against anybody.
Wow.
I wonder where they were.
And that was the second one.
They're all the same though.
Yeah.
And then a knife is a handy weapon.
One time, Mike Mark beat this guy with a, you're reminding me, this kid burning his
hand with the deep fryer, reminded me.
He stuffed somebody, he was a cook, a line cook at some fucking restaurant, and he was
arguing with somebody out of May Hollandaise sauce or something.
Which is an art.
Yeah, and Anford took it very fucking seriously, man.
Oh, Don Anford?
Yeah.
He put this guy's fucking hand in the deep fryer.
Wait a second.
Yeah.
Don Anford put a guy's hand in the deep fryer?
Yeah, he took the motherfucker's hand and fucking shoved it in the deep fryer.
Wow.
Yeah, I know.
It's gonna be a good for you, Greg.
Another time he beat the fuck out of a guy with a long pepper grinder, might as well
have been a fucking little league bat.
I mean, beat the fuck out of a guy over.
The pepper grinder?
Yeah.
Don Anford beat a guy with a pepper grinder.
Yeah, and he worked in it in the legs.
Holy shit, dude.
Why did we not ever get this out of him?
He worked.
I'm afraid.
Dude, he beat the guy.
How big was the pepper grinder?
Dude, it was like a little bat, though.
Yeah, it was.
It was.
No, it's got a handle on it.
Wait a second.
Did he want too much pepper or what happened?
I don't know.
It was a fellow employee outside of work in back of the fucking place.
What was he doing with the fucking pepper grinder?
He worked at Indian Lakes, and he had almost every job from bus boy to waiter to
truck.
You know what I mean?
His weapons of choice were whatever was needed.
A pepper grinder?
Yeah.
And he was usually in some restaurant scenario.
So yeah, he's heard a lot of people with restaurant implements.
I don't know about that.
Don Anford.
You know, any sane person doesn't grab a pepper grinder and beat somebody with it.
Well, here's the thing.
Think about that.
When we talked about all of that shit with Don Anford, we're talking about all the girls
that have abused him and shit over and over, but we never talked about how fucking brutal
he is.
The people he's abused.
Yeah, how brutal he is.
The man he's abused.
Yeah, you know, he punched me in the fucking nose one time.
I fucking deserved it kind of.
Oh, well then what the fuck?
Why are you bringing it up?
But you know, he was quick to punch people in the face that didn't deserve it too.
Like you know, just for no reason.
Yeah, we know we've heard the stories.
Yeah, it's all right though.
But yeah, the pepper mill thing, the pepper grinder.
I'm like, dude, I'm like, I seen those.
Oh, you saw him?
I saw the pepper grinders from the restaurant that he worked at.
Oh, you didn't see him do it.
Dude, this thing was like a lot of fucking.
It was like getting beaten with a leg from a piano.
Did he get, I know, dude, listen, I understand the grinder and different shapes on it and
shit.
Oh, I mean, whatever.
It's got a grinder in it.
It's got an end where shit comes out.
It's like that big.
And it was pretty big.
It was fucking, you know, like the fancy restaurant.
I think it was called the Tamarack.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, that fucking place is like Scooby Doo now.
Who wants to get hit with anything in the head while you're an employee?
No, especially from another employee.
It's like, yeah, I'm going to fucking pick up this guitar and hit you with it because
that's the closest thing I have.
Well he hit this kid in the head with a shovel when we were younger.
His dad said fucking sarcastically.
He's like, dad, this kid's fucking with me.
What should I do?
And Mark's dad didn't want to deal with anything, you know, and so he goes, just hit the kid
in the head with a shovel.
He did.
Sarcastically.
He took it right, literally.
Yeah.
The next day he hit the kid in the head with a shovel.
Right, man.
Yeah.
And then they said, how old was he?
I think he was, I don't know, like, you know, nine, eight or nine.
Oh shit, dude.
That's some Russian shit.
You know what I mean?
Like, look at the Russians, dude.
Hammerhead.
No, not even, you don't do that in the United States.
No.
Unless you're a real psychopath.
I know.
Okay.
So yeah, that's it.
And that's the crazy thing.
That's Don Anford's origin story.
Yeah.
Not to be fucked with.
Who?
No, not.
Don Anford.
Yeah.
Man, listen.
Oh, one time he shot this fucking, uh, he shot, he shot Rats girlfriend's dog.
Allegedly.
I saw him do it, but.
Oh, Jesus.
Why are you bringing this up at the end of the episode?
This is usually our strong point.
You're gonna bring it down with dog death.
Well, it didn't die right away.
Oh man, why would you even say that?
We didn't ask for specifics.
It died.
It was funny specifics.
It died from infections weeks later.
They didn't take it to the vet?
Well, they did.
They, they couldn't figure out what was wrong.
They got shot with a bullet.
Well, nobody else.
I mean, I can figure that out from the story.
Well, it's new, except me and he likes it.
Wait a second.
No, man.
We were in the backyard one day and this fucking dog wouldn't stop barking.
So somebody we know shot it.
And it was his roommate's dog too and fucking.
I'm like, dude, what are you doing?
He's like, that fucking dog bothers me.
And this is.
Oh my God.
That is the worst man.
That is.
And then later, I mean, we.
Yeah.
And then later, the dog, we had the festering wound.
They're like, what happened?
How did the dog get the festering wound?
Yeah.
And then they asked through, or did they have to do surgery or do you remember?
They had to put the dog down.
Larry.
I'm so upset with you right now.
I really am Larry.
Because Larry's a cat guy.
I am a cat guy.
And needles is a dog guy.
One time when I thought the cat dropped dad too.
I was sitting there partying in his living room and the cat fucking.
You know what I want?
I want a goat farm.
When I retire.
Yeah.
Fainting goats.
But you know, he looked at me and said, you better not fucking tell him.
You better not tell them.
And I was afraid of him.
So I didn't say anything.
Who's this?
Mark, man.
When he shot the dog.
Because then they're like, how did the dog get this infection?
Man, okay.
I don't want to talk about this anymore, man.
Especially right at the end of the episode.
What the fuck, Larry?
He's crazy.
Dude, you're a psychopath.
Why would you bring that up?
I didn't do it.
I'm just.
You brought it up, though.
What do you mean you didn't do it?
Don Hanforth popped in my head.
I mean, you're going to paint a picture for all our listeners.
Since he's not here, I'll fucking talk behind his back.
Aw, man.
And we can't even have him come in because we are afraid that he's going to stab us.
He's going to kill me, man.
Well, he might stab both of us right in the fucking.
I might have a text reading episode.
I don't want to give the fucking, the both of us fucking get stabbed.
What are we going to do?
The both of us.
They're going to be not fucking.
They're going to be not in fourth hour.
Yeah.
There won't be no Larry and Needle show.
No, nothing more.
No.
It will boost me in the ground.
Mm-hmm.
That's okay.
Or somewhere.
Yeah.
I'm going to dump him.
You think he's going to do that?
He's just going to leave us right here.
No, he's going to walk out.
I'm going to get it smooth.
He's going to go to the meth at home.
Hurry up.
I got something in my chunk.
Your feet are sticking out.
That's all right.
Larry's a real short guy.
Anyway, sorry.
All right, Larry.
Let's wrap it up, brother.
Yeah.
Wait a second.
Do you have a new fucking quote?
No.
I'm going to leave it.
Do you have a new fucking quote or no?
No.
All right.
Don't you even dare.
I know it's bothering you.
Don't you even dare.
But I got to say, man, I love all the ladies out there.
They're texting us.
Why do you keep saying they're not texting us?
They're not texting us.
I love all the ladies out there, period.
I mean, I got to say, you know.
Why do you keep doing this, man?
You sound like a fucking sexual assailant.
I should read your next album from prison.
Anyways, shout out to Chrissy.
Shout out to Tiffany, Matt, Russ, Luan.
I hope you did get out of your poker tournament the other day.
I hope you knocked them dead.
And Becky, also all you motherfuckers.
You say Luan?
Yeah, shout out Luan.
Also everybody else that's listening, man.
You guys are some bad motherfuckers.
We appreciate it.
We love you.
And peace.
Peace out.
Have a great night.
Ta-da-da-da-da.