Time to get ready for the Larry and Needles show.
And...
Okay, here we are!
Welcome to the Larry and Needles Show!
I'm Larry.
I'm Needles.
That was abrupt!
Yeah, I didn't know that was going to happen to us.
That's how we do things, abruptly.
You're the boss, right?
That's what she said.
Um, I don't know if that's good or bad.
I mean, did you fire her first?
Or did you just make her do weird things at her job?
You'll never lose your job if you do this just one more time.
Did you work with a bunch of guys?
Yeah, I did.
Oh, you know what?
Listen, fucking Russ.
So I went to the Dead Show last week and it was amazing.
Uh-huh. Oh yeah, this is a story, by the way, for our people that didn't hear last week.
We started this story and we never finished it.
Because why, Larry?
Because we're stoneers.
Because we're higher than giraffe. We'll see.
So fucking, I go into the show and I eat a quarter of mushrooms.
Nice.
And I'm with all my boys.
And you know what? It's almost all of us boys.
I wasn't there.
Well, yes. You know what I mean? People that meant something to me, I was with.
So, uh, I mean, they played a good set. The night before they played an Eva Bangor set.
I mean, I don't know if people liked the Dead. I've been at Dead End since I was a little kid.
I mean, the set list is pretty good.
He's even got a makeshift Grateful Dead tattoo.
Well, yes, I got it in the kitchen when I was 15 years old and it's backwards.
I got it from a guy named Taz if that gives any authenticity to it.
It does.
I mean, he literally boiled the needle in a pot.
Nice.
And J went next.
J Bird went next.
So, the show is great, man.
You know, they had a good set.
I don't, you know, like I said, I don't know if anybody knows anything about the Dead.
But it's kind of weird that they, it's it. You know what I mean?
Like I saw the Dead for the first time in like the early 90s, 91, 92.
I used to go with all my boys. You know what I mean?
Did they have John Mayer playing guitar?
Yes, they did.
Okay.
And he's a fucking dude.
I know he's good, man.
He's so good, man.
He's fucking play.
He really is good.
Well, dude, at this point, when you're at the Dead's level, you're not going to hire up somebody that sucks.
But the problem is he's way above the Dead's level.
I know.
It's like, it's, you know, I'm going to,
He's having fun though.
It is like, I'm not a karaoke guy.
But when I went there, it was like karaoke.
Everybody in my section was singing every word, every word, man.
They, oh man, the first encore, they played Broken Down Palace,
which is just like this slow, oh, man, it's amazing.
I even know that one.
Yeah, it's so amazing, man.
It's a, you know,
I do like Bob Weir though.
He's cool, man.
He hit it.
He had a good knack for getting some nice looking fucking bitches.
Of course.
Oh, they all did.
He was,
Well, but he was the pretty one in a band full of really ugly motherfuckers.
He was the youngest.
He was like 16 and some of these guys are like in their 20s, man, and later than that.
So yeah, he utilized it and had a good time.
But no, I just want to say that it was amazing.
I wish Russ could have came.
We would have had a great time.
Yeah.
Um, next time.
Yeah, well, that's it.
Oh, that's it.
That's it, man.
No more.
Well, this is the last tour.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Sort of sentimental.
The Who did a farewell tour in what, 83?
Yeah, but these guys are going and going.
They all want to do their, they all want to do their own thing, man.
Yeah.
They're fucking 80 years old.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I mean, do you, fuck, man.
I mean, think about that.
What a great send off.
Yeah, it's, it's fucking awesome.
Music is everything.
It really is.
Like I can hear a song and it takes me to a place that I remember.
Well, how else could have fucking pack an 80 year old guy and spill stadiums?
I mean, Joe Biden couldn't fucking do it and he's the president.
I don't know what they have to do with the fucking price of tea in China, but okay.
Well, that music is very powerful.
Like why would a younger generation even want to continue even going to these
concerts?
Well, because the fucking music is good.
There were kids, young kids, man.
That's what I mean.
20s.
How do you even know about like that?
They looked like they were like when I was in my 12, I would say, but when I would
go like these were like gutter punk hippies and stuff.
Yeah.
Man, it's crazy.
There was a guy who hit.
It was a big story in Chicago.
He drove this like short bus.
And I mean, love it.
Yeah, and he fucking ran over a bunch of people.
Oh, and they released him.
And the turn.
What's that story took a turn?
Yeah.
And then they released them and they caught up with them.
He was on tour for dead in company.
Nice.
And they arrested him and because he wasn't supposed to leave the state, I think.
Oh, fuck.
But you got to keep going with the tour.
Yeah, it's hard to fucking follow the dead when you can't leave the state.
The last tour, man.
Yeah, you'll be like, Hey, guess what?
I saw the dead with Bob Weir.
And if I got to run over a couple of motherfuckers to get there, I'll do it.
Oh, this was after the show.
It was a couple blocks away from where fucking Scotty and I were.
Oh, oh, it just happened like this.
The day to the show.
Yeah, actually was right fucking down the street from where we were at.
I did not know that.
Because we walked out of Wrigley and went to a bar.
Of course.
No, the place is so crazy now.
It doesn't look like it used to.
My grandfather used to be a magician.
Oh, man.
Every time we walked down the street.
He turned into a bar.
Oh, you're kind of magical that way.
I don't like bars.
I'm not a bar guy.
I know.
But you like to drink alone.
Dad jokes.
Yeah, no one else cheaper that way.
So hey, is there could you see a scissor with insight up on that desk over there?
Because I realize I got this little gimmick here.
What gimmick is that?
This I got these mylar helium filled balloons or we'll do a little.
What are you doing?
We'll do a little voice fucking transformation.
You brought balloons in here to suck helium.
Yeah.
All right.
My mom.
If you pass out and die, I'm just going upstairs.
It'll be 40 minutes of playing.
I got to get the fucking tanks in my car because that's the first thing they're going to find.
Oh, man.
I don't think the helium could kill you.
Can it?
Let's find out.
Okay.
So this is what Larry's going to do.
This is Larry's.
You haven't tied together.
Well, I had him taped together because I was the cat.
The cats were playing.
But what are these balloons for?
These were from my mother-in-law's birthday.
How long ago?
A couple weeks.
I wonder if helium was on.
Actually, your birthday was on June 1st.
All right.
We don't have to give that information out, but that's fine.
That's all right.
Want to give her your address?
Yeah.
Okay.
Anyways, yeah, she's a real, she's real cool and she gave me some chocolate and these
balloons were tied to that.
I should have wrote you a limerick to do on helium.
That would have been pretty funny.
Larry does a limerick on helium.
What the fuck, man?
I might have to cut it in a different spot.
Well, yeah, you didn't cut the nipple off.
No, I did, but it's not set up in that way.
What do you mean it's not set up in that way?
There's a place to fill it?
It's like, well, the place that fills it looks like it's permanently set up inside.
We don't condone the use of helium nor any other inhalants, but I don't know.
As long as Larry supervised my needles and we're fine.
Exactly.
All right.
He's sucking on the balloon.
He's trying to take the whole thing.
So hopefully.
Well, you know, because if you want to get the right effect, you got to, you got to
take in a lot of.
So anyways, Garth Brooks is setting up a Vegas stint and he's selling his tickets.
He's got 27 shows at Caesar's Palace and he's got 110,000 tickets for sale.
Okay.
So he sold them out instantly.
This was probably like, you know, a couple months ago.
Yeah.
But, you know, everyone's up in a tizzy because he's supposed to be the every man, you know,
the country guy that stands for everybody.
Nobody does.
I know.
Well, you can't, well, that's what the fans think.
See, that's how delusional everyone is.
Well, the guy's a fucking millionaire.
How do you think he gives a fuck about you?
So now they're freaking out because the tickets are selling for like $15,000.
Yeah, they're after sellers.
Yeah.
Now it's just all fat cats at the show and not really his real fans.
So that's that's that little story.
Well, doesn't Billy Joe kind of do something like that where he doesn't sell out the front
row and then he gives it to fans?
That's cool if he does that because usually I personally think Billy Joe is a fucking
cunt man.
I can't stand that fucking guy.
Why is that?
Scary, leery voice.
I don't know.
He's just, is that a routine clan shirt?
Yeah.
Amazing.
I'm gonna kill a bee.
Billy Joe was very mean to his band.
Okay.
He made Liberty DeVito the drummer who's a very cool cat, very nice guy.
He made him one time ride in the van because he said, there's no room for you on the plane.
I need your seat in case I need to stretch my legs out and made the guy miss like Thanksgiving
dinner with his family when everyone was going back to fucking see their family real quick
in between a little tour break.
Well, you don't think the guy could find a plane though and make Billy pay for it?
Well, they weren't making the money man.
No, he wasn't gonna pay and then they got some new guys in the band and he was a horrible
drunk to Billy Joe.
Was he?
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
He's crashed like, I mean, I don't know, and this isn't allegedly, I mean, this is noted.
He did do it.
Yeah.
He was a horrible drunk.
You know what he does?
He takes a helicopter from his place to over by MSG, plays a show, gets back in his helicopter,
flies back.
Yeah.
The stones do shit like that.
Yeah, but this is in Long Island.
He lives in Long Island.
So he's going home after the day.
Or maybe the Hamptons, but yeah, he goes right home.
So he flies from his house to the gig.
See.
Fucking spoiled fucking dream of Donna.
No, not at all.
You wouldn't want that.
It would be amazing.
I don't know.
No, I wouldn't do that.
Huh?
But I think that that would be cool.
I wouldn't act that way, man.
I would fucking have more class.
Well, because he's a fucking classless fucking piece of shit and I know that I got class.
But it has to take a certain, you know what?
There has to be a certain thing you do to make you become that so famous.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, there's no doubt that he's good, but also he's part of the fucking satanic machine.
Oh boy.
I mean, he didn't make it because of his talent.
You think so?
Yeah, no, I don't think so.
Yeah, albeit he is talented.
I'm not saying that he's not.
How many Billy Joel songs do you know?
I know a lot.
I mean, I guess like the piano man and you know, all the fucking hits, only the good
die young.
It's a great tune.
Yeah.
Which, again, Liberty DeVito came up with the whole fucking sound and the theme for
that and the whole vibe and didn't get any songwriting credit.
When it was time for him, Billy Joel was getting married and Liberty DeVito says to one of
the new guys.
Christie Brinkley?
Maybe, yeah.
He says to one of the new guys in the band, well, I guess the band isn't getting invited
to the wedding and here's the drummer that's been with him the last 25 years and the new
keyboard guy, whoever that fucking cunt was, says, what do you mean?
I'm invited to the wedding.
So he like shunned all his friends and fucking moved down with the new crowd that didn't
know what quite how much of an asshole he actually was.
Yeah.
So just shit like that.
I would never do that kind of a fucking huge move.
Well, you never know until you fucking you never know until you're in that position.
I don't even think you would do that.
Well, thanks.
I appreciate that, Larry.
That shows a good fucking commonplace in demeanor.
And you're a fucking dirtbag.
I am a dirtbag.
I'll hit him.
Hashtag dirtbag.
But hashtag dirtbag love.
Yeah.
I mean, now Jesus, man, what kind of people do you attract with that hashtag?
Let me tell you.
So I like a little bit with your helium.
I hope you're having fun.
I got another balloon for you people at home, so we'll do another segment.
Hold onto your seat.
Yeah, hold on to your hats.
There's more high voice entertainment.
You're fucking gonna blow your tits back.
Oh, God.
You're not gonna believe this shit.
So here's something that here's some interesting shit.
Riku Browning.
Yeah.
Riko.
It's R-I-C-O-U.
I'm not that great of reading names.
Okay.
Riko, maybe.
Okay.
Riko Browning.
He was the Gilman from the 50s.
3D hit classic.
The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
I've heard of it.
Yeah, he died.
Okay.
He was 93.
What was special about him?
Well, he was responsible for Flipper, the TV show, and the movie.
Okay.
Which is weird because this one kid that I used to know, this guy Casey, his dad worked
for Metro Goldwyn-Meyer, and he came over with some screeners of Flipper before it was
released, and he told me that he was responsible for it, but I read differently.
What do you mean?
Well, we would say on the fucking credits.
Right.
Well, yeah, yeah.
And it did have his dad's name and the credits.
But according to this thing that I read, Riko Browning was the Gilman from the movie
was responsible.
What year was that, do you know?
It was probably like 1952 or 53, something like that.
It's an old school one, right?
I'm sure some monster movie freaks out there are going to know differently, but also how
about this man, Linda Kassabian, you know who that is?
I do not.
Oh, man.
She was one of the Manson girls.
Oh, yeah.
Well, she wasn't one of the, she was more of a...
Well, she avoided jail time by fucking turning state's evidence on Charlie.
It wasn't tough to do, I mean.
No, but you know, for the Tate, the Bianca Lana murders, and here I got the lighter.
I got the Crack Baby mobile.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, she was 70, she made it to 73.
She died?
Yeah, she died.
She was the one that was just about to get paroled.
Man, listen, did she kill anybody?
Yeah, it was squeaky from.
Was it squeaky from?
They didn't let her out though.
Okay.
They said, uh-uh.
So did she participate in the murders or was it bystand?
I believe she might have participated, but gave him some kind of jive like, you know,
I was scared for my own life type of shit, because that Tex Watson guy was a fucking
nut.
They were all revved up on LSD and fucking speed and their balls up, and they were shooting
it back then, you know.
I don't know, well, you know what, listen, I wasn't there that night, so we could speculate
all we want.
I have a good feeling just from, you know, what goes on, that that's probably what they
were doing.
Okay.
And I mean, listen, drugs run rampant back then, and the shit was good and pure.
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean?
Like, those guys used to fucking.
They were able to get actual heroin and shit like that.
Well, there was a story that not all this fentanyl shit, Charlie Manson went to go like,
stick up these guys for some drugs.
Yeah.
And they got into a shootout.
And you know, this was the type of guy he was.
Yeah.
How about this, man?
Gavin Newsom, you know who that is, right?
Florida governor.
Well, close.
Not really close, because Ron DeSantis is the Florida governor.
Gavin Newsom is a California governor.
Oh.
He denied Sirhan Sirhan parole.
Sirhan Sirhan is 78.
I hope your next sentence is MKUltra.
Well, you know that's going to be in there.
I know it is Larry.
Twice a Larry in the O'show.
Yeah.
Sirhan said that he was fucking brainwashed and doesn't even remember doing anything.
And also, so does RFK Jr.
What's that?
I think that Sirhan Sirhan did not kill his father.
I mean, what are the odds of a guy named Sirhan Sirhan?
And here's the other thing, man.
The shots that killed RFK were shot him from behind.
And Sirhan Sirhan was in front of him.
Isn't it crazy?
So they set him up like a motherfucker.
Both Kennedys are on tape getting killed.
Yeah.
Well, you know, the CIA likes to fucking...
Think about any other brothers like who, Reagan, assassination attempt.
Nothing, you know what I mean?
Can you think of two political people in the same family videotape of them being murdered?
If Reagan would have gotten killed at that particular time, he would have been on videotape
too.
Listen, two brothers from the same family that are in politics both have videotapes of
them being killed.
And then one of them has their accuser being killed.
Yes.
And that's how much balls RFK Jr. has because he knows that they'll fucking kill him in
a fucking New York second.
I should say in a Delaware second.
Connecticut second?
Yeah.
No, because, you know, Delaware...
Oh, that Biden...
Yeah, that's where he's from.
Is it Biden from Delaware or Connecticut?
He's from Delaware.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
And I think this isn't where all the credit card companies are from.
The Arkansas his ass.
We haven't heard anything about Bill Clinton.
Oh, man.
What do you think he's doing?
Or Hillary?
Well, she might be doing something.
Check it out though.
And then there's another...
Here's what RFK Jr. thinks and so does Sirhan.
Sirhan.
Oh, wait.
They think that Eugene Caesar, who was a bodyguard for Bobby Kennedy, was actually the fucking
killer.
And of course, Ethel Kennedy, who's 94 and still alive and kicking.
Really?
Holy shit.
Want Sirhan to stay locked up.
Because, you know, women back then, they shut their fucking mouth.
And when the men told them something, they believed it.
But, so she still believes the bullshit.
But her son, you know, he's saying Sirhan, Sirhan is fucking innocent.
Listen, man, he killed him.
No, they're saying that he didn't even do it.
I know there was a weird, you know what, listen, I'm not going to get into this.
I'm just saying what I read.
I know.
I haven't studied up on it.
I don't know enough information.
I'm not going to spew misinformation about something I don't know.
I know that Bobby Kennedy was killed by Sirhan Sirhan, and there's video evidence of it.
Well, I remember seeing that.
Doctored video evidence.
No, you know what, now you're bringing up a whole new can of apples.
Allegedly Sirhan Sirhan killed Kennedy.
Allegedly?
Yes, allegedly.
But then who do you think killed him?
I think it's this fucking Eugene Caesar guy.
Caesar, C-E-S-A-R.
I mean, what was the point of killing the Kennedys?
Well, man, because those fucking guys are making too much waves.
They weren't going along with the program.
Just like how Biden locks all his political opponents in jail now, and the ones that he
could kill, he killed.
I know.
How about 12 years for that dude using a taser on the fucking kid?
Man, that is fucking bullshit.
There's guys in Cook County right now that have ankle bracelets on for murder that are
unaccounted, 300 are unaccounted for.
Right.
Do you know what I mean?
Exactly.
And then there's guys that have attempted murder charges.
That's what I-
They're fucking crazy.
I think I wrote this on a tweet.
I said the scales of justice need calibration quickly.
I mean, these motherfuckers are-
It's not the scales of justice.
It's fucking people that think one way and are so askew they try to make everybody else
think that way, right Larry?
Well, I think it's just straight up unfair usage of the law as a weapon against the fucking
people, and it's just fucking bullshit.
You know, and if you're one belief, you get treated one way.
If you're another belief, you get fucked in the ass.
Well, like bipartisan shit.
And that's just-
Everybody's fucking-
You shouldn't use the Department of Justice.
The FBI, the CIA is an arm of your fucking political party though.
And you know, people think Democrat, Republican, that's all bullshit.
They're all part of the same fucking demonic fucking thing.
And it's all bad.
The CIA overrides the president.
The FBI overrides the president.
Everybody overrides the president.
Every branch of the government, do you think fucking Joe Biden is telling us when to launch
missiles?
Hell no.
I hope-
You might as well put a turtle-
Yeah, he's not.
You might as well put a turtle in a tank and put yes or no, and see which one it goes to.
Hey, I got a good one for ya.
Alright, I'm here Larry.
Lillian Mae Curtis.
I mean, these names you're pulling up keep on going big guys.
She's 72 years old.
Ooh, what does she look like?
She looks like an old lady, so 72-
Oh, okay, well I don't know what-
She looks like a grandma.
She's hot.
You know, no, she's not hot.
She's not a gilf.
I want pictures next time.
Anyways, her husband is dying of some heart problem.
Condition?
Yeah, he gets heart surgery.
His name is Lloyd Eugene Curtis.
Shout out to Lloyd Eugene Curtis.
Yeah, and he's 77 years old.
Alright, alright.
And he only had two months to live.
He's recovering at RIP.
Yeah, well no, listen, so he's got two months to live, they tell him.
So the daughter, Mary Graham, she's 58.
Whoa, man, these fucking names.
They go pick up Lloyd Eugene Curtis Sr. at the hospital so he can die at home in peace.
And so they take him, he wants to go to Denny's.
They go to Denny's.
Nice.
They pull in the fucking parking lot.
High winds, knock down the sign, fucking smashes their car, injuring everyone in the car.
The daughter got like a bunch of broken ribs in a concussion.
Not bad.
The old man gets hurt.
Not bad.
The fucking wife that wanted to get him out, she dies.
Two fucking head injury kills her.
Okay, so wait a second.
The daughter only gets away with five broken ribs.
The mom fucking dies.
So the lady that pulled him out of the hospital to bring him home.
To die in peace gets killed on the way home.
That's so sad, man.
Guess what?
And then Lloyd, the husband died four days later.
This is when we start rolling the cash counting machine.
I mean, RIP, what was her name?
Lillian May Curtis.
Lillian, man, these names Larry, I hope you're not making this story up.
It really sounds like something right when you were high.
No, no, this is real.
RIP, Lillian May Curtis.
May you party with Jimi Hendrix and may your family get paid here.
Careers off to the whole family.
Oh, they're gonna get paid.
And high winds, knock down the sign.
I heard you the first time.
Is it God, do you think?
Maybe.
And divine intervention?
Maybe.
And the sign weighed 1.3 tons.
Well, maybe it was three tons.
Yeah, for the top diamond shaped denies, the yellow.
Wait, was this in the parking lot or in front of the building this day?
Yeah, the sign.
Dude, 1.3 tons seems very heavy.
I know, you think all what's in there.
Some LED lights.
But you know, they're pretty big.
Dude, the sign fell out or anything?
Yeah, dude, are you sure you didn't write this on helium?
No.
Denny's Grand Slam kills Granny.
That was in the article center?
Did you write that?
No, that's what the article said.
Oh, amazing.
I was gonna say Larry.
And I saw it and I'm like, what the fuck, man?
Read that again.
Denny's Grand Slam kills Granny.
That might be the title of the song.
And it's sad because, you know, they were just trying to fucking make the old man fucking
be comfortable, die at home, and he fucking...
So think about that.
He dies in the process.
How old was the daughter?
The daughter was 58.
Dude, she's getting 58?
Yeah.
How old were these people?
She...
Lillian Mae Curtis was 72.
That's it?
Yeah.
And the dad was 77.
I was gonna read his math, I can figure it out.
Lloyd Eugene Curtis.
Lloyd, we'll just call him Lloyd.
He was 77.
Damn.
So, you know.
That bitch is getting a payout.
Mom died, dad was going home to die.
Yeah.
And then dad dies four days later from heartbreak.
Sign that's in the front.
Yeah.
It looked like...
With tons?
Tons is a lot.
1.3 tons.
I mean, I deal with signage a lot.
I'm building...
We build restaurants and shit like that in medical facilities and stuff.
Huh?
It's like 23, 2500 pounds or something.
It's a pretty fucking...
I mean, to crash a car.
Yeah.
Smash it because nowadays we're made of lightweight shit.
Yeah.
Pretty good story, Lillian.
What was her name again?
Let's shout out RIP.
RIP Lillian Mae Curtis.
She was seriously with no bull...
All bull shit aside.
Thanks for five minutes of comedy.
Yeah.
Thanks for dying for our comedy.
That's what we call comedy.
Thanks for making a dark scenario for us to laugh at.
No, seriously though.
Prayer's out to her family.
All right.
You said that four times.
Nah, man, because you know, the bitch died and fought.
No, that's not...
I mean, that's a great eulogy.
Let me tell you.
You should have wrote it for her.
They would have loved it.
I mean, she was a good bitch.
I mean, caring bitch.
But she was dead as a bitch.
This bitch cared like a motherfucker.
All right.
Um, rapper Fitty Scent settled a lawsuit against this blog called The Shade Room.
Okay.
For implying that he had penis enhancement surgery.
Wow.
Yeah.
A black guy getting penis enhancement surgery.
That's right.
How big do you want to be, man?
I mean, Jesus Christ.
Right.
What are you playing on?
Picking fruit with that thing?
I mean...
Yeah, and his real name is Curtis Jackson.
Yeah, he was shot like nine times, man.
Yeah.
And you know...
I think he banged Chelsea Handler in the career.
I'm sure he probably...
I know they were dating for a while.
Oh, they were?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Well, you know, the blog caused him ridicule and they fucking actually...
He won some kind of court battle.
Well, I mean, come on, Larry, this is kind of sketchy fucking...
I mean, I guess all you got to do, I mean, that's why we say allegedly after everything.
After you read it so confident, you're like allegedly...
No, this was real.
This was I read in print, but like shit that we just say that we don't know.
Oh, yeah.
You know, like Joe Biden, Big Bay, we didn't say allegedly.
Yeah, that's the way they fucking don't come at us.
You know, he had, what do you call it?
He made a...
What was it?
Like a big guy?
The big guy?
The big guy wasn't Joe Biden allegedly.
Allegedly.
I got another fucking granny got fucking pulled or death by a fucking gator.
You just trying to get me over here?
Yeah.
I was trying to...
Dude, wait, what'd you just say?
Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.
I'm sorry, I apologize.
Florida woman got pulled or death by a monster fucking gator.
First of all, would you say fucking Florida woman?
That gets my loins going.
Second of all, how big was this gator?
Fuck man.
She was a monster.
The lady of the gator.
No, the lady, she looked like a skinny little fucking old lady.
How old?
I would...
Where do you guess it now?
It didn't say, no, it didn't say her age, but by the picture, I would say like, you
know...
Did they have a picture after the gator?
No, they should know, but they had a picture right as it was getting her.
Oh, come on.
Because they had fucking...
Cameras in the back?
Yeah, man.
Like ring camera.
Yeah, and it showed the fucking lady, the alligator.
And the fucking dog.
Oh, she got the dog too?
Well, the thing was going after her dog.
It was an 11 foot fucking 700 pound out here.
Oh my God, why is that in your backyard?
That's scary.
Well, they live in Florida.
I know, that's scary.
I know.
It's scary.
Well, it came at the dog and she ran up and fucking grabbed the dog and then the thing
slipped back into the water and now she's walking the dog and the fucking thing lunges
back out and drags her into the water and kills her.
And the dog lives.
The dog fucking lives.
Her name is Gloria Surge.
Man, shout out to Gloria Surge.
RIT, baby.
Rest in peace.
Another set of prayers to the family.
I hope they serve monsters in heaven.
Because it sounds like you aren't allowed to fuel.
Oh man.
Well, okay, so what kind of dog was it?
It was one of the...
It was like a little...
A Pomeranian?
Something like that.
Yeah, little fucker.
I think her serves to be eaten.
But that's the problem though.
Dude, stay okay.
I'm okay.
Let's break this down first.
I mean, listen.
Okay, let's move to this place.
You know, it's immaculate.
Million, two billion dollars.
It's got a fucking...
Beautiful.
A canal in the back.
You could go take your boats out.
But every once in a while, somebody's going to get killed by a hell of a hit.
Just to remind you who's turned you're in.
And this fucking thing was huge, man.
Dude, 11 foot...
Larry, listen.
11 fucking foot is almost as wide.
I mean, not as wide as this room, but...
And think about 700 fucking pounds, dude.
And so the thing grabbed her and dragged her right in the water.
One of the quotes was like, some lady from the shore going, swim.
And she's like, I can't.
The fucking gator asked me.
Oh, she was still...
She was...
Her head is still above water.
And her last thing she said was like, I can't swim.
Nobody had it gone?
The gator has.
No, it was like a retirement village.
Nobody had it gone in Florida?
I guess not, man.
Or maybe it was just a bunch of ladies and they weren't strapped at the time.
Man, RIP that lady.
That is a horrible way.
I mean...
Glorious surge.
Dude, I swear to God, it sounds like 80s dancers' name.
Yeah.
Glorious surge.
It does.
Or porno.
Yeah, there you go.
Glorious surges.
The Glorious Lennard or something.
What a way to go.
I know.
Could you imagine that?
Imagine that?
You go, you fucking...
That's fucking scary shit.
How stupid do you have to be to get close to the water again?
I know.
You would think...
The thing just went for your little dog.
Yeah, so then you get closer to the water?
I mean, seriously.
Shame on you.
And then the fucking ring camera picture.
Dude, she's like two feet from the fucking edge of the water.
Oh, yeah.
The thing doesn't even have to come all the way out together.
You know, it's a head that's long enough to grab her.
You ever see the deer's drinking water and the deer's running the water?
And then fuckers come out, man.
They're like, bam, dude, next thing you know.
Yeah.
Get a poop?
Yeah.
Or when they show like the fucking water buffaloes in Africa trying to cross a river and they
know like X amount and we're gonna die, but those gators are down there waiting.
They just keep going and going.
And then keep going.
They go like that's their tactic is just to rush them.
And you know, a few youngins get killed, a couple of oldies get killed.
Stradlers and shit.
Yeah, then we're gonna die anyways.
Yeah.
But it's fucked.
And you know, that's...
But you know, those are animals that need to cross the river.
This bitch should have known better than to stand right by the edge of this fucking shit.
I mean, just from the story that you're telling.
I mean, I don't know what kind of stoner logic you put into this because...
Well shit, she didn't put much logic into it at all.
Well, I mean, you didn't mess the story up anyways.
You read it right?
Yeah, I read it in the beginning.
Are you sure they didn't kill the dog and not her?
No, I was like, holy fuck.
And then I'm thinking who's gonna take care of this fucking dog now?
The husband.
Oh yeah, I didn't even...
What do you mean?
It was Jesus, literally.
Poor lady's on your mind.
Maybe he's dead, man.
She must have been a cutie if you're still thinking about her.
So wait, did they recover the body?
Uh, I mean, you know, remains of a chewed up.
But gators don't eat...
Yeah, but gators don't eat...
They're like sharks, they bite and spit.
If you don't taste good, you don't mean like human doesn't taste good.
It didn't say the gator ate her, it actually said she drowned.
I think the thing drowned her.
Oh, well yeah, that's another thing, they roll too.
That's what was happening.
That's a fucking brutal task.
So she's getting drowned and you know, I'm sure clamped down and at the same time with
some fucking serious pressure.
I wonder how much PSI they have on the jaw.
Ah, man.
I was looking at Dave's little fucking pit bull or Rottweiler, I think it's a pit bull.
Man, the jaws on that motherfucker, if he wants to bite you...
Well, that's why they have pit bulls fight.
Yeah, it's sick.
He's such a cute little dog, I would never fucking do that.
Well, I'm just saying, though, they pick out...
I'm putting this out there.
Larry, I don't know how Needles feels about this, but Larry thinks that people that fight
dogs are kind of fucked up.
I don't think that's a good thing.
Well, they're definitely kind of fucked up.
I mean, it's not like they're normal people.
No, but you know, people get...
It's very brutal dog fights.
Yes.
But you know, like...
And you have to be brutal people.
It's not just a normal person doing this.
In the old days where they had the tribunals in England for like when someone did some
treason against the king, I covered what they do to you for treason in England a couple
episodes ago.
Well, the place that they did the tribunals was called the cockpit because...
Sounds like your mouth.
They used to have...
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Because they used to have cock fights in the very room that they held court.
So that's how, you know, like even back then, the upper echelon of the government and whatnot,
that was no thing to them to fucking have animals kill each other.
It's only recently with PETA and all these people.
PETA.
They did it right, bro.
People enjoying tasty animals.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
You know, and so now people are all up in arms.
But like in the 1950s, you could have a movie with a dog in there and overwork the dog and
put wires on his face to make him talk.
The dog.
How about the people?
Yeah, but I'm just saying, like you can put an animal in a Hollywood movie and do all
kinds of shit to him like Mr. Ed and no one's coming down on you.
Edison fucking electrocuted.
Now they're all, you know...
They didn't electrocuted that elephant.
Oh, yeah.
To show that Tesla was fucking, his shit was dangerous.
Right.
In front of people.
Yeah.
Electrocuted a fucking elephant, man.
Dude, many times because they didn't have video back then, so they would rent theaters
and he would have all kinds of different animals that he would electrocute and then rush in
the next crowd and electrocute the next animal.
Come in and watch an animal get electrocuted.
Yeah, this shit's dangerous.
Five nickels.
And then it fucking backfired because then people were like, well, it looks like his
shit works a lot better.
It's killing a fucking elephant.
I'll go with that one.
Yeah, but it just wasn't efficient.
Because when you do use DC electric, it's direct current.
I know.
You have to, you need shit every certain amount.
Right, it needs a power station and jack to voltage.
Fuckin' AC is way better.
It travels better.
You can put transformers in between.
Alternating current.
Yeah, alternating current, yes.
AC.
But the thing is, you can get away with anything you wanted back then.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like people were fighting payoffs.
Dude, how about when they would make the horse go on a high dive?
Oh yeah, dude.
That's amazing.
And it was like a side show shit.
Like it wasn't like normal stuff.
I asked my dad if he ever saw that and he's like, nah, they were done doing that shit
when he was already, they were already saying, hey, you can't fucking, hey.
You can't fucking shovel horse off a hundred foot drop.
I don't think they shoved it.
I think it went on its own accord.
No, they fucking, I don't know.
I don't think the horse wanted to jump, dude.
They kind of pushed him over.
Dude, would you get behind a horse on a high jump?
How the fuck do you get him up there first of all?
How did they do that?
Man.
We've seen those videos, though.
Yes, I have.
The horse does get up there somehow.
I know, but they, but would you, I wouldn't do, I wouldn't stand behind a horse anytime.
The horses kill people.
My grandfather fucking got bitten to the face by a fucking horse when he was a teenager.
Jesus Christ.
What was he doing trying to kiss it?
Well, no, here's the thing, you know, it was like, he was so old that he was on the
tail end of horses and cars coming in.
And so the fucking horse, you know, they're mistreating it.
It was like the family car and the fucking thing bit him in the face.
He was, I don't know, a teenager when it happened.
Dude, horse teeth are fucking.
Yeah, he punched the shit out of that fucking horse.
Dad ain't gonna do nothing.
Look at that horse in rape on me if he's done.
I don't know, but you know, you never met my grandfather, man.
He was fucking, kicked anybody's ass.
Except the horse.
Antibuty.
Except the horse.
Oh yeah.
Dude, who gets bitten by a horse?
My grandfather.
How bad was his face?
I bit him right in the fucking face.
Did he have a scar?
Yeah.
How big was that motherfucker?
He was fucking like horse teeth, I don't know.
That's not a measurement, dude.
I guess for us, how big it is, dude.
Oh, that's not bad.
Dude, fucking thing.
Oh, I bit him like, oh, in the head.
Yeah, it clamped on him like his cheek.
Horse teeth on your jaw bone.
Yeah, man.
That's your new Indian band name.
So believe me, when I'm saying he punched the fucking living shit out of the horse,
he did.
Yeah, what I don't know.
He's a bad motherfucker.
He wasn't behind the horse.
No, I'm just saying, were the guys at the motherfucking diving board?
Oh yeah, you get kicked in the head, you'll be fucking.
We gotta watch videos of that to see how that happens.
Next week on the Larry and Needle Show, we will break down horse diving.
Yes.
That sounds amazing.
Definitely we will break down.
And we will learn the names of each horse and the locations.
And how many dives they did.
And if any died, horse deaths?
If any of them went on to a more lucrative career after that, or was it like a stepping
stone, or that was like the end of the line, you know, for like the horse.
Not the glue?
Yeah.
The only one that wanted to be a star, or was it the glue factory?
Elmer factory.
Remember when they used to show cartoons of that?
Yeah.
They would send the horses to the factory.
Yeah, now if they did that, the kids would fucking probably cry about it.
Oh mommy, they hurt the cartoon horse, my god.
What are we gonna do?
These, I can't believe, I was gonna do the helium balloons on the last episode, and they
started to look like they were starting to lose air, but first man.
You're starting to lose air, dude.
Your brain is all discombobulated.
Yeah, I'm all fucked up from this.
Those things actually retain the voice activating mechanism that I was looking for.
It's not a mechanism, it's a gas, ass clown.
Jesus Christ.
Don't put it in your mouth.
Very fucking good.
How about this, man?
Go ahead, no.
Your brain is melted over there.
I want you to speak.
Bruce slash Caitlyn, Jenner.
All right.
He, she gained 50 pounds, man.
Do we use pronouns on here?
Is that he, she, or pronoun?
She, would we say?
What do you want?
That's all you need to say.
When it's a Tranny porno movie, and it would be advertised in the back of like Hustler in
the 80s, they usually call it she he movies.
Yeah.
She he.
I remember in big white letters.
I really do.
It was like a little square, like a rectangle.
And it just had.
And then all the little penetration points are blocked out with a black dot.
So, I don't know.
So they guess you can't beat off to it.
You still can.
You have an imagination.
I mean, I don't see what the black dots do.
Yeah.
But I mean, just because you ran into that, you're like, what the fuck is that?
But he was a spelt petite.
I mean, she was a petite man, 160 pounds.
But that motherfucker is six to now, you got to remember.
What's a, what's a, what's a, there we go.
Caitlyn.
Yeah.
Now she weighs over 200 pounds.
I really don't care about this.
Well, you know, I mean, what are you listening?
Why do you think she gained so much weight?
I'm going to tell you right now, who the fuck do you want to think of the Dacathalon waning
motherfucker?
Katelyn Jenner comes on TV, man.
The Cathalon, Larry.
Do you know what that means?
Yeah.
What does it mean?
10 fucking events.
10 Olympic events you won.
Yeah.
The Cathalon.
Yeah.
I mean, it is Roman name.
You know what I mean?
That is insane.
10 events, dude.
I know.
If anybody doesn't know what we're talking about,
go back and watch it.
I think it's like the 1975, 76 Olympics.
I remember watching it as a kid, man.
The greatest athlete.
Everybody wanted to be Bruce Jenner at that time.
10 events in one, I mean.
Yeah, it's fucking amazing.
Dude.
And the most amazing part is a guy
from the fucking USA won it.
Yeah.
The most slobber week that has
laziest country out there.
Well, not at that time.
We were a little better back then.
Yeah, I don't know what year it was, but.
76.
Okay.
I'm pretty sure it was 76.
Woo.
And they put him on the fucking Wheaties box
and I believe that he started the tradition
of putting like Michael Jordan's and people like that.
Athletes.
Yeah, athletes.
Very upper echelon athletes.
On the Wheaties box.
He was the first motherfucker.
Before him, all they showed was a bowl
of fucking Wheaties on the cover.
Yeah, Wheaties boxes are collectibles.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
I bet you that Bruce Jenner one's
probably worth the fucking minute.
Yeah.
Huh?
I don't know.
I mean, who do you get it signed by, Bruce or Caitlin?
I don't know.
So you can get two signatures.
I don't know.
Think about that.
Well, you know what?
If you had one that's already signed by Bruce,
then you re-approach him and say,
hey, now I gotta get Caitlin.
The other signature, come on, motherfucker,
you wanna be two people?
I want two signatures.
That's the box that's worth the most money.
Probably not.
Well, with both signatures.
No, I don't think so.
I think the other one diminishes the other character.
This was worth a lot when it was just Bruce Jenner.
This box was worth a lot,
but now you just do it.
Just like now your box is worth nothing.
And she probably feels a little,
I can't say how she feels.
I don't know.
You can't at all, because you were...
But I know she's gorging herself on booze,
wine, all kinds of junk foods.
How do you know this?
Because I was reading about why she gained the fucking weight.
Does it really matter about this person?
No, I just really don't like to talk about it.
Just feeling time, motherfucker.
Oh, you are just gonna waste our listeners' time
with this rhetoric.
No, this is some very interesting shit.
I mean, this person transitioned from a male,
the Kathaline Winnie-Mail to a female,
and then did she murder a person when she was done transitioning?
Maybe, let's say allegedly.
Well, let's do, that's like two-faced.
She sounds like...
He, what?
She, she, now it's she.
She, she.
And by the way, we are fuck ups
and no disrespect to any pronoun freaks out there,
but if you are a pronoun freak,
man, you gotta fucking grovel, let me tell you.
Jesus, why would you just do that without asking me, man?
Just make a statement like that.
That might not be Needle's view,
but I fucking think it's a little crazy.
Yeah, you should have felt like that's just Needle's view.
Here's Needle's corner.
Needle's things.
Don't sit down in that corner.
It might be a little sticky.
No, no, no.
On a better note, though, Billy Gordell,
you know who that is, Gordell.
He was the fat.
You didn't even say the name right the first time.
I don't even know.
And then you asked, you're right, no, wait a minute.
And then you changed it the second time.
He's the fat cop guy that was married to Molly
on Mike and Molly.
Oh yeah.
That motherfucker.
He's a funny dude.
Yeah, and now I'm worried
because he got gastric bypass surgery
and that motherfucker lost 150 pounds.
Why are you worried?
Well, because he might not be funny anymore.
What?
At least he got an ozempic.
Oh, oh, oh, ozempic.
Hopefully I can sponsor the literary needle show.
Sponsor by ozempic.
Sponsor by C. Alice.
Get fatter, die trying.
Yeah.
Oh, that's funny.
So yeah, you know, well, you know,
cause some of those guys are real fucking hilarious
and they're good comedians and they're fat guys.
Ralphie May was fat.
And then they lose weight.
And then they might not be funny.
There's a lot of fucking comedians.
Cause you imagine if...
Why would you even, isn't that,
that is the weirdest thing that's like being like,
I mean, I can't even explain that.
It's like, if I was very fat and then I got skinny,
it's like would I not be a good electrician?
You know what I mean?
Well, that electrician is different than comedy though.
I'm still out there telling dick jokes.
I mean, come on man.
I guess.
That's just silly though.
You think a comedian's weight really matters
about how funny he is?
I guess not.
Well, like what about like fucking...
If you're funny, you're funny.
What was that guy, Louis, whatever with the blonde hair?
No, no, no.
Oh, oh.
Anderson.
Yeah, yeah, Louis Anderson.
Did he drop then?
Yes, he's dead.
He was me-tuned by some males.
Oh, well, he had a cute, fat ass.
He had a proclivity for the boys.
See, that's what happened.
Yeah, that's all right.
You know, hey, he was gay.
You play with fire, you're going to get burned.
He was so prophetic.
Let me tell you.
Hey, there's rapers of all...
This is smarter by the minute.
There's rapers of all fucking styles.
Well, rapers are rappers.
Rapers, rapists.
Rapists of all kinds of styles.
I remember when we were speaking again,
little kids getting raped.
I remember we...
Jesus, we never said anything about that.
Louis, how was he getting me too?
He was an adult when he got raped.
I had seen him when he did that.
I just didn't come out and say that.
He was an adult?
Or was he a child?
He was an adult.
He got raped when he was an adult?
No, no, he might have been the guy doing the touching.
Oh, he got it.
I didn't know that.
Oh, man.
We were talking about our sign names.
Well, that was going to mention Corey Feldman.
We went and saw him.
Amazing greatest concert ever.
I'm pretty good.
It was pretty good.
It pissed off.
That was a great show.
I wouldn't say it was the greatest concert ever.
I am.
I have to stick around my heart.
Well, that's Needle's opinion.
I don't fucking think that.
Obviously.
It was great, though.
It was fun.
We did have a great time.
But, you know, and you think about that,
and these guys come forward and they say shit,
all these motherfuckers like Oprah and Ellen
and all these cons with TV shows, all badmouth them
and say that he's full of shit.
But the truth is, the reason they do
is because they are also fucking pedophile, motherfucker.
Or they're involved with somebody who is.
Yeah.
Everybody is not directly.
And if you're fucking involved with someone who is,
and you ain't coming forward, man, hey.
Babe, bottom line.
That shit's on you.
That's fucking bad shit, bro.
It's all about the bottom line.
When's the last time you've seen a high-profile pedophile
get arrested?
They never do, man.
Exactly.
You know, I mean, we got him in fucking.
Yeah, Epstein they used as a fucking scapegoat.
And then, meanwhile, all the highest political offices
in the land and all these rock stars
and all these fucking Hollywood jackoffs
are all fucking sick fucking sex pedophiles.
Well, they're intertwined in some things.
Nah, man.
Not everybody is fucking.
But they got, but everybody's compromised.
Well.
Do you know what Steven Tyler did once, man?
Once.
Just once, right?
Well, no.
This is one hell of a fucking story.
He fucking got this 16-year-old girl.
And somehow he got her dirtbag parents.
To sign him over to her.
Right?
No, no, listen.
Now he knocks her up.
And she only had, he gives her no money.
She's in some Boston fucking apartment.
He fucking calls her all the time.
And she says, hey, I'm out of money
and there's no more food.
And he's like, don't worry.
One of my friends will come over tomorrow
and he'll take you grocery shopping.
The dude shows up.
She doesn't go shopping.
He fucking gives her some knockout drugs.
She wakes up.
The fucking apartment is fucking nailed shut
with the fucking places on fire.
What?
Tries to kill her.
Puts her, she fucking remembers some high school fucking
safety fire shit.
Goes into like the chimney.
Has smoke inhalation.
They save her.
She's burnt up smoke inhalation in the hospital for weeks.
Steven Tyler shows up with some lawyer.
Fucking makes her sign a piece of paper that's
saying she's going to have an abortion.
She's six fucking months pregnant.
Has the abortion.
He's in the room in the corner, fucking sniffing lines
of cocaine the whole time.
Allegedly, this fucking guy tried to kill this bitch, man.
And I mean, if you're going to do that.
Do you think these people are good people?
No, I know they're not good people, dude.
I mean, who knows what the truth is to that story?
Well, I guess he put it in his own book.
This is what my buddy was telling me.
He wrote that about himself.
He wrote this and now this girl came forward
and is going on on the talk show's talk.
Yeah, like, come on.
He really wrote that.
I would highly doubt that.
I don't know.
You know, what do you mean you don't know?
Why would you implicate yourself for paying his crimes?
I'm not implicating myself in anything.
Not you, but Steven Tyler.
No, I know.
I don't understand that part.
Maybe because he thinks that fucking enough time has passed.
The statute of limitations.
He's just such a big rock star.
Civilly sue somebody.
Well, this bitch was 16 and now she's fucking, you know,
60, 70, whatever.
Yeah, still.
If somebody comes out and says that they fucking,
you were underage, even that your parents signed you over.
I know.
Which is fucking crazy.
Who would do that?
But you know what?
Listen, there's a lot of people that
trade their children for drugs.
I was on fucking tour.
This fucking lady and gentlemen that were about my age
handed over their 14-year-old daughter to me
and told me to watch her while they're at a fucking punk show
watching 10 more bands.
We were like the first band on the bill.
And I was fucking like, what is this?
You're in another country.
Some people give you their daughter.
Yeah.
And they don't even know me.
And they're like, could you watch after her for us?
What a fucking setup.
Oh my gosh.
Larry, I don't know how you controlled yourself that night.
But kudos to you.
I did.
Because the whole time I was waiting for that guy on fucking.
That was a joke, I was saying.
I was waiting for that guy on nightline
to come busting through.
Chris Hanson, not nightline.
Yeah, whatever.
Catch a predator.
All the way in Chris Hanson, Germany to catch a predator.
And you're the first guy who gets busted.
Right.
I'm in my merch booth with him.
And all of a sudden there's a crowd of people.
And the next guy in line is him.
Who's the light in your face?
To buy a t-shirt or something.
And I'm getting handcuffed.
So I have to pretend to be the light.
You're like, I need the American embassy.
She's like sitting there and sucking a lollipop.
So people do some dumb fucking shit, man.
And it's like blows my fucking mind.
What kind of dumb shit?
Like leaving the 14-year-old daughter with some grand
abandonment or signing your daughter over to Stephen
fucking Tyler.
Or are you nuts?
That's not even dumb.
That's just like, I mean.
That's fucking retarded shit.
What did they trade for though?
They just didn't hand it over.
I know.
And that's the thing.
I mean, that's like what's that called a dowry?
A dowry.
People are sick.
Yeah, dowry.
A dowry, yeah.
People are sick.
I wonder what they, what the dowry was worth.
Two lambs of fucking pound of cocaine.
Yeah, probably something fucking.
Do they ever write about that?
I don't know.
I got to read this book though.
This is from one of my friends that read the book.
And he was like, you can't believe this story.
It's unbelievable.
So now that I know this little snippet,
I am going to read this fucking Stephen Tyler book.
And I'll rip that motherfucker to shreds
and that's what I get.
Yeah.
Daco.
Here you go.
But why do we implicate himself?
I know.
It's so creepy.
What a dumb fuck.
I don't know.
Maybe because he thinks he's,
are he so old he's fucking thinks he's untouchable now?
I don't know.
He looks like someone's fucking grandma.
Well, yeah.
I mean, I don't know how these guys are still alive.
I know.
I mean, seriously.
Literally.
I mean, pounds and pounds of cocaine and heroin.
Yeah.
All together.
Cigarettes.
Yeah.
I mean, they're just ripping heaters, dude.
Oh, dang.
Because they had access to everything.
You know, we only had limited access.
Yeah.
These guys are going, man.
We had limited access and most of our friends are fucking dead.
This, it's amazing these motherfuckers are off the rock.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, it really, really is.
We know fucking 15, well, fuck 15.
Maybe Adrenochrome.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe some fucking Horbo.
But they have money so they can talk to these weird.
It's just like that stupid Titan thing.
Doctoring like crazy.
It's like the stupid submarine thing.
They're not the doctors like we get.
250 grand to go 900 feet in the ocean.
Right.
Count me out.
Yeah.
Me too.
Count me out.
I am not looking with my kid.
We had our Titanic edition of the Leary Needles show.
In case you guys missed it, you should go back and check it out.
I don't know where it is in the chronology,
but you'll have to figure that shit out yourself.
But that's as close as I want to get.
Just reading about it, watch a couple documentaries,
read a couple articles.
I don't need to fucking go down and see that motherfucker.
Shit in a Ziploc bag.
I don't think so.
I'll take that 250 Gs and do a lot more with it than you will,
man.
I mean, shit, man.
Oh my god.
And the thing is, the greatest part was.
500 Gs, actually.
Him and his kid.
Right.
I think there was five people on board.
And I'm sure one of the people was operating the thing.
But so it's a million dollars to bring the thing down.
But the thing is.
What's the thing, Leary?
Fuck, where was I going with that shit?
Want to shovel?
Aw, man.
No, the thing is, if you're going down and doing that,
you know that you're going to die.
But the best part of it, this is where I was going, though.
The best part of it was, was the owner of the company
on video cameras saying, hey, you know,
a lot of times the fun thing is the dangerous thing.
And we will sometimes throw the rules out the window
and forget about safety to get down
and really get a good look.
And I'm like, holy fuck, this guy is actually saying this.
He's a cowboy.
Yeah, he's a crazy motherfucker.
But listen, I'm sure they make you sign a lot of paperwork.
I'm sure they have a lot of lawyers.
They said it was a two or three page document.
And the word death was mentioned five times
on the first page.
OK, well then there you go, man.
So you know what you're getting into.
Exactly.
I'm sure they have solid shit saying, oh,
you know, this was what happens.
And it's happened before.
Yeah.
And it's dangerous.
But you know, these rich motherfuckers,
they got the money to burn and do it.
And they're looking for a rush, man.
You know, so.
Is that really a rush?
Well, to be saying, yeah, I went down to the Titanic.
Yeah.
That's the best cocktail party.
To see what the hole is fucking big.
I know.
Fuck that.
I know.
And it's crazy because if it was safe to go down,
they would already have movies of the whole thing.
But the other reason they don't have movies of the whole
wreckage and everything already on documentaries
is because they don't want you to see the Oceania sign,
where the Titanic sign came off.
And they don't want you to know that they switched out
the ships and all that shit.
But again, I digress because I already
talked about that shit.
But yeah, it's fucking dangerous.
And you got to be crazy to do it.
Well, but it's another rush.
It's like, listen, people have died on roller coasters.
But they keep going on them.
How about this?
People drive motorcycles and die,
but they keep on doing it, man.
I fucking rode around all day today on my bike
because it was fucking so beautiful out.
Larry has a real bad track record with that scooter.
I know.
Broken bones.
Hit by cars, fucking.
Focussions.
Wiped out on my own accord.
Fuckin.
One time he woke up in a dude's bed.
Real scooter accident.
Yeah, that one was really bad.
I got rear-ended.
Fucking it hurt for weeks.
That's all right.
You checked your oil.
You know what?
Oh, I almost fucking broke the plastic.
Fucking I don't know where my little quote that I had for today.
Oh, man.
You've already been reading the same one.
No, I had a little quote I had written down.
I don't have it.
If you're going to do this bullshit,
you got to read a new one every time.
I know.
But since I can't find the.
Don't read the old one.
I'm not reading the old one.
No, I don't want to hear this.
Because people, you got to realize and fucking take note
and be vigil about this shit because.
So defeated right now.
Shit is fucking going wrong.
And an injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Shout out to Martin Luther King, Jr.
Do whatever.
You just created an injustice over there
by completely doing what I asked you not to do.
It was almost a race crime or a crime.
I love you.
I'm going to call the ACLU.
See how they like that.
I'm going to call the NCAAC PNU.
Oh, you added just two more letters or something.
I'm going to call the Rainbow Coalition.
See how Jesse Jackson likes it.
Oh, you know, we got to get Jesse Jackson on here.
And they all sharpened at the same time.
Oh, yeah.
It'd be fucking awesome.
Well, I don't think we can handle.
They would probably come down here and go,
this filthy motherfucking white trash motherfucker.
They would want to sit down.
What's a weed?
Hell, that's we have.
Oh, we got to get Marion Barry.
You want a nitrous balloon?
We can get Marion Barry, the Washington DC
crack smoking.
Oh, shit.
I think he did.
He did.
Yeah, R.P.
I want to smoke crack with him before he.
I mean, you should have probably hunted him down.
I did try.
He was an old man when he was smoking.
I know when we were on tour in Washington, DC,
back in the late 90s, early 2000s, and we were searching him
out high and low every time we played in Washington, DC.
And that fucker was hard to find.
Well, he was the mayor.
I know.
So why are you trying to find the mayor?
Because they thought it would be great if there
was a picture of Larry and Marion Barry.
What kind of drugs were you on?
We were on everything.
Yeah, so you were following around.
I mean, you could just.
Well, we weren't following around,
but when we would have a gig in DC,
we would try and find him.
Maybe he was doing like a speaky thing.
So we could do a picture with him.
Yeah, I'm sure that.
Inside of an album cover or something, you know.
We could always Photoshop that.
You know that, right?
Well, not back then.
I'll even sign it for you as Marion Barry.
Well, I'll draw a crack pipe, too.
Nice.
Thanks.
You're welcome, Larry.
Well, that was pretty fun, man.
Had a good time.
Yeah.
And I want to say, Larry Shodown,
only fans, girls keep sending them pictures.
What are you talking about?
You shouldn't say that.
Oh.
Whatever.
You know who you are.
There you go.
We love you so much.
No, we don't.
I do.
Larry loves you like a motherfucker.
You're married.
God, man.
This guy's splitting hairs.
You should give a god, man.
That's the first thing you start with.
Real Christian.
June Lurk.
Give me five.
From the sins that come out of my mouth.
And the ones that go in my butthole.
Aw, man.
OK, do your shout out.
Shout out to Becky, Russ, Matt, Tiffany, Chris,
Chrissy, and Luann.
Woo, Luann.
I met you.
Amazing.
And those are the people that I know listen.
So that's why I shout you guys out.
And the rest of the people that listen, man.
Thank you very much.
Yes, I love it, man.
We do this for the love of the game.
Fuck yeah.
We're not trying to do anything else.
No.
If we get rich and famous, we'll have parties with everybody
all the time.
Yeah.
If I get rich and famous, if I get rich,
I'll get my money away like a motherfucker.
Right to me.
Right to needles.
I'll be the guy to hang out with.
Because I'm going to be his drug dealer.
Because it's going to be a fucking party.
All right.
Peace.
Love you later.
Oh.
Maybe you need a show.