My friends, welcome to the SheepKidSheared podcast.
I'm your host Austin Creed and my friends. It's
been a very difficult day for me. I broke up
with my girlfriend today and you know, we were
together for over 11 months and You know, what's
really interesting is if you watch podcasts,
you read books, you watch TV, like not a lot
of, I mean, TV, I guess more than any other,
but nobody prepares you for this part of it,
especially when you live together. Cause my girlfriend,
I guess ex -girlfriend now and I lived together
for months and You don't realize, if you don't
have never lived with a woman, you don't view,
you have no idea what we're talking about. Nothing,
but you have, and you know that it's hard to
even have roommates and you're not like, Oh wow.
You know, like I miss them. But when you live
with your girlfriend, it's different because
you're used to hanging out all the time. Now
it's not quality time all the time, but For example,
right now, I'm driving in my truck cross country.
And both, you know, my ex, my ex girlfriend now
and my dog, who's now her dog, used to always
drive places. Now it's just me and made no mistake
about it. There's peace to be found in solitude,
but. I've never been in a long term relationship
like this. So now I'm suffering the fallout of
it. And for all I know, she's listening to the
show right now because she's, you know, trying
to get over me or she wants to hear my voice
but not talk to me. I don't know. For all I know,
she's not listening at all. But, you know, for
all the stuff we talk about, especially in the
Manosphere type space about, oh, don't love these
hoes, don't do this, don't do that. I think that...
You need to realize that despite all - Get rid
of the Red Pill Rage. It's so 2018. Get rid of
the rage garbage. I'm talking to guys who understand
that despite the rage, you're still a human being
and you need to be able to get through your feelings
and not just push them aside, because that's
a temporary fix. That's how you punch a hole
through a wall and people freak out. You don't
want to be that guy. You want to be the guy who
controls his and understands his emotions. And
so if you're going through a breakup or you have
breakups are not easy. And I'm sure it's only
going to get harder for me. And, you know, I
harbor no animosity towards my ex -girlfriend.
She's a wonderful person. It just wasn't going
to work. Not because I didn't want it to, per
se, but it just wasn't going to work. We were
very different people and It was highlighted
to me over and over again. We just wanted different
things. I want to be a billionaire by 40 years
old. I'm 25 now. I have a long way to go. I haven't
even made my first million yet. I got a long
way to go. And I couldn't do it. I couldn't be
with someone like her who just had a different
mindset than that. And I don't expect her to.
And that's why I don't I'm not angry with her.
I'm more disappointed that didn't work out. But
the more I realized that It was gonna change
the more I realized that more I couldn't I could
justify Having the relationship go on anymore
for both of our sakes not just my sake for hers,
too And my friends breakups are hard It's even
harder when you're the one getting dumped. I
understand that I've been there too. I've been
the guy who's been dumped. Oh, yeah I was the
guy who was dumped a couple times when I was
younger But now I'm the one who's you know, now
I'm the one who's doing the dumping and it's
still different It's different and because I'd
expect to be like, oh finally I'm free. No, it's
not like that and I Don't know if she's listening
to the show. She's probably thinking. Oh, who
is he kidding? I'm angry with him. I get that
if you're a guy who's like, oh, he's just a sip
You know, he's not over his girl dude. You could
think what you want what I'm telling you is To
get through a breakup, you need to beware of
a couple things, because it's already started
for me. Number one, you have to beware of the
hindsight. I'll call it hindsight heaven. I'll
coin a term, hindsight heaven. Hindsight heaven
is when you look in the past in your relationship
and you only see the good stuff. You only see
the stuff that was good, the stuff that was amazing,
the stuff you're like, wow, that was great. Why
did I break up with that person? You don't remember
the stuff that led you to the breakup. You don't
remember the stuff where you're like, ooh, ooh,
yeah, that's kind of a problem. Ooh, I overlooked
that. Yikes. You know, you don't think about
those things. Instead, what you think about is,
oh, my gosh, I loved I love for example, the
way I love the way she scratched my back. I love
the way that she had little cute mannerisms that
she had. I loved, you know, the way that She
would smile. I loved looking into her eyes when
she would smile. I love all those things. It's
easy to remember the things you liked, not to
remember the stuff that you hated, especially
when you're kind of going through it. Because
your mind will play tricks on you. You don't
think, oh, wait a minute, it was not bad. You
got to go back when there was a reason you left
in the first place or reasons maybe that you
left in the first place. But instead you'll be
focused on all it couldn't have been that bad
because look at all this good stuff I can list
it off for you Look think about all the good
stuff and you'll proceed to list a couple things
and instead of Seeing it for what it was, which
is a complicated situation Maybe slightly toxic
maybe not That just needed to end it wasn't gonna
end It wasn't gonna go the way it was supposed
to go and so it was ended whether it was by one
person or the other or both And you got to move
on. And instead of having that frame of reference
instead, what you say is, oh, it couldn't have
been that bad. I got to find a way to get back
together or, oh, I'm down bad sexually. I got
to get laid. I got to get, I got to link up with
them. Don't do that. That's probably the worst
thing you can do because now you're not only
you not moving on, you're robbing yourself of
the ability to grow as a person. You cannot do
that. I know it's easy whether you're a man or
a woman to do that. I understand that. But it's
not gonna help you. It's going to feel good in
the moment, and then right afterwards you're
gonna be like, damn, that was not worth it. You're
gonna just be aiming for a distraction. That's
number two. You gotta avoid unhealthy distractions.
You have to avoid doing something you're gonna
regret. Do not make rash choices throughout this
breakup process if you make a rash choice, you're
going to be pouring You're gonna be trying to
treat the wound with dirt And be rubbing dirt
or salt into the wound and it's not gonna help
you. It's gonna be very painful. It won't help
I Know how it's hard. Trust me. I'm going through
it right now It's not It's not fun, especially
when you've lived together. And then, I mean,
let's not pretend like I lived with this woman
for like nine months. That's a long time. I spent
almost like every day with her. She was, I mean,
she's not my best friend, but she was one of
my closest friends on top of being my girlfriend.
I think that's part of it that people who are,
you know, shorter term relationships, like under
six months, they don't understand that. That
there's also the friendship that's there too.
There's also that friendship too. I kind of miss
it to be honest. It hasn't even been a day and
I kind of miss it already. But I'm not going
to make any bad choices. I can tell you that
right now. But my friends, it's super difficult.
To you do something positive with a negative
situation It's very easy to take on I'm gonna
go drink or I'm gonna go smoke or I'm gonna go
have anonymous hookups I'm gonna go do things
that are not going to actually help me get over
this It's gonna it's gonna be a short -term fix
to a problem that requires you to grow when when
you break your arm Your bone has to regrow. It
can't you don't snap back in place. It's got
a reform. It's got a rehardening You're you're
gonna be the same exact way with your heart same
way Because if you it's impossible to not feel
anything when you're with someone for a certain
period time I Mean I was tearing up on the phone
You know, when I last talked to her, it was,
it was tough, man. I was tough. I was, I was
on the verge of saying, you know what, let's
get back together. But I didn't do it. Why? Because
I know that there was a reason for it. Do I like
it? No, I really don't, but I'm doing it anyway,
because it needs to be done. I'm in a new phase
of my life. I'm starting a new job. I have to
be focused. I have to, I'm trying to get a house.
I gotta be able, I got to have my mind in the
right place. And of course we had our problems.
I'm not gonna dog on her though. I don't see
any benefit in doing that. My friends, let me
know how you've experienced breakups because
what advice would you have? Because I'm going
through it. I know other people go through it.
It's not easy to get past. But you need to realize
that you got to embrace the pain. Pain is progress.
So for you to try to numb the pain or ignore
it, you're not helping yourself. You're actually
preventing growth and repair. I know that might
sound confusing because pain is usually associated
with something bad. In this case, it's actually
good. In the same way that when you were growing
as a kid, you might have felt a little bit of
pain as I did. Growing pains are necessary for
you to become a better, stronger person. And
I'm honestly shocked that I haven't gotten more
emotional than I already am. Because everything
in me wants to call her, but I won't do it. Is
there a reason why we broke up? There are reasons
why I told her I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't
just make this on a whim. I mean, I made the
decision to go to leave, but there always been.
They have been problems in the background for
a while that I thought would get better, but
they didn't. They didn't do it. You know, gentlemen,
I got to be honest with you. A lot of us dudes,
we intend to fall for the very same trap that
we tend to tell women they shouldn't fall for,
which is the getting back together because you
think it's going to get better, but promises
that things are going to get better. And you
take it. Oh, that won't happen again. Oh, it'll
get better. And you think, oh, OK, I'll get back
together with them and give another chance. I'm
not a big believer in anything cost a second
chance. God gives second chances after that.
I'm not a big fan of it because all you're doing
is telling them they got to give you some lip
service and a half effort for a week, two weeks,
and then it's back to the way it was before.
If they really cared and they are really aware
of what was going on, they wouldn't have put
you in the position to have to re up their promises
in the first place. They wouldn't have to rearrange
their promise to be like, Oh, but I mean it this
time. So you didn't meet it the first time. Gentlemen,
you have to be aware of that. Ladies, same thing
for you. Don't fall for it. If people don't do
what they say they're going to do, believe that
they're not going to do what they say they're
going to do. And move on. I don't delight in
other people's pain. I've been done with that.
I haven't done that since high school. But pain
leads to progress. The last time I had my heart
genuinely broken, I wrote an entire 100 page
manuscript in like a matter of two weeks through
using like an audio to text. AI program. I was
unpublished, but I plan to publish it. Because
my friends, pain can lead to unmeasurable progress,
but you have to be willing to not numb yourself
to the pain. You'd be willing to say, I'm angry.
I'm going to go to the gym. I'm furious. I'm
going to write something down. I'm going to I'm
going to do something with that pain, with that
anger. There are stages to grief. Maximize them,
use them to your advantage so that you're not
in a toxic spiral and end up in a worse place
than you already are, which yes, it is possible
being a worse place than you are right now. I
know it might not seem like it, but there is.
And if she is listening to the show. You know,
I'm. I want to say that. I'm sorry. Because at
the end of the day, I'm not the I'm not the one
out here who's like yeah, man I typed this woman
and now I'm leaving her in the streets. No No,
I'm not about that. Of course people are gonna
go back to the streets You know go back and have
sex with their ex -girlfriends, you know, that's
the ex -boyfriends. That's normal stuff We all
know as part of the game But understanding that
people have lives and you need to Understand
that you yourself will one time be there and
you'd want someone to have sympathy for you.
It's because things have to happen doesn't mean
they have to happen in the worst and most tragic
way possible. That's how I see it. My friends,
let me know if you have any breakup advice or
stories because I'd love to hear them. I'll be
talking more about it as the days and weeks go
on because of how fresh this is. It's happened
today, by the way. I look forward to hearing
it. Take care of yourselves, I'm out. Peace.