WEBVTT 00:00:00.630 --> 00:00:02.950 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to sheep get shared 00:00:02.950 --> 00:00:05.809 podcast. I'm your host Austin Cree to my friends 00:00:05.809 --> 00:00:09.470 today I want to get back into we'll talk a little 00:00:09.470 --> 00:00:11.269 bit about relationships today. I really want 00:00:11.269 --> 00:00:15.109 to focus on My milestone of six months with my 00:00:15.109 --> 00:00:17.489 girlfriend and I'm and not so much to have paths 00:00:17.489 --> 00:00:19.510 on the back Some people tell me I'm stupid for 00:00:19.510 --> 00:00:21.809 being in a relationship. I'm bringing it up because 00:00:21.809 --> 00:00:25.570 I want to tell guys who maybe they're interested 00:00:25.570 --> 00:00:28.710 in a relationship, maybe not the traditional 00:00:28.710 --> 00:00:30.769 relationship, or maybe they're just interested 00:00:30.769 --> 00:00:33.429 in relationships in general. How to survive six 00:00:33.429 --> 00:00:37.030 months. No, I'm not going to sound ominous, right? 00:00:37.409 --> 00:00:40.469 I'm to survive six months. Oh, it's crazy. And 00:00:40.469 --> 00:00:42.710 it sounds toxic. No, it's not. It's not what 00:00:42.710 --> 00:00:44.850 you expected. Frankly, it's not what I expected. 00:00:44.869 --> 00:00:48.130 And that's why I want to talk about it. Because 00:00:48.130 --> 00:00:50.250 it's one thing to talk about a relationship. 00:00:50.409 --> 00:00:53.549 You've never had one. It's another to talk about 00:00:53.549 --> 00:00:56.710 it. When you're so deep in a relationship that 00:00:56.710 --> 00:00:59.250 you don't even know left from right, up from 00:00:59.250 --> 00:01:03.810 down or anything else. It's really hard to have 00:01:03.810 --> 00:01:07.730 an opinion that makes sense. For example, there 00:01:07.730 --> 00:01:10.750 are guys who can let their emotions get a little 00:01:10.750 --> 00:01:13.310 too close to home. They can be a little too emotional 00:01:13.310 --> 00:01:18.590 and it's easy to let that just go completely 00:01:18.590 --> 00:01:21.689 distort your worldview to the point where you 00:01:21.689 --> 00:01:23.269 don't even know what you're talking about anymore. 00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:25.920 So let's get down to a couple things I've noticed 00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:28.379 being six months with my girlfriend. Number one 00:01:28.379 --> 00:01:34.400 is you have to make compromises because that's 00:01:34.400 --> 00:01:37.079 just human nature. If you want to have a relationship, 00:01:37.079 --> 00:01:39.019 you have to make some kind of compromise. I don't 00:01:39.019 --> 00:01:41.560 care if it's a lot or a little, you're making 00:01:41.560 --> 00:01:44.980 compromises. It's unavoidable. I don't don't 00:01:44.980 --> 00:01:47.599 lose it if he's dating coaches or like, no, just 00:01:47.599 --> 00:01:53.170 just whole frame is whole frame. And then it'll 00:01:53.170 --> 00:01:56.510 all work out. Dude, you know how hard it is to 00:01:56.510 --> 00:01:58.469 hold frame when you've been out working all day 00:01:58.469 --> 00:02:02.170 and you come home and you're like Tommy on conversation 00:02:02.170 --> 00:02:03.810 and she's trying to tell you something. You're 00:02:03.810 --> 00:02:06.129 just like, bro, I don't give a fuck anymore. 00:02:06.170 --> 00:02:09.069 We just I don't care. I don't care anymore. Do 00:02:09.069 --> 00:02:12.810 what you want. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to be 00:02:12.810 --> 00:02:15.229 there, man. And not because she's bad or evil, 00:02:15.250 --> 00:02:18.050 but because women are just different than us. 00:02:18.930 --> 00:02:20.389 Women are different than us. If you ever figure 00:02:20.389 --> 00:02:22.960 that out by now. You'll figure it out pretty 00:02:22.960 --> 00:02:27.340 quick. You'll figure it out really quick. Second 00:02:27.340 --> 00:02:31.840 thing that I've learned, I'll try to keep this 00:02:31.840 --> 00:02:34.159 to a list of 10 things. First thing was you gotta 00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:36.280 make compromises. Second thing I've learned, 00:02:36.860 --> 00:02:39.539 you're not gonna be getting sex as much as you 00:02:39.539 --> 00:02:42.580 expected. Now, for a lot of dudes, this won't 00:02:42.580 --> 00:02:44.580 be a surprise, but for some dudes it is, because 00:02:44.580 --> 00:02:47.199 here's the interesting thing. You think that 00:02:47.199 --> 00:02:50.719 the incels are the guys who don't have girlfriends. 00:02:50.990 --> 00:02:53.229 Some extent, that's probably true. The other 00:02:53.229 --> 00:02:56.710 extent is guys who are in a relationship, especially 00:02:56.710 --> 00:03:00.870 after the honeymoon stage is over. I would say 00:03:00.870 --> 00:03:03.770 three months is usually when the honeymoon phase 00:03:03.770 --> 00:03:06.009 is officially over and that's when you've got 00:03:06.009 --> 00:03:09.389 the extended package. Over time, it's gonna go 00:03:09.389 --> 00:03:12.490 away. And life's gonna have, it's not so much 00:03:12.490 --> 00:03:13.909 that your girlfriend's always turning you down 00:03:13.909 --> 00:03:15.849 or that she's unattractive to you. That might 00:03:15.849 --> 00:03:18.289 be a role, and I'm not coming to play. I'm not 00:03:18.289 --> 00:03:20.389 telling you it's not gonna happen. It could. 00:03:20.969 --> 00:03:25.169 But it's also good as life happens, dude. First 00:03:25.169 --> 00:03:27.889 of all, you let's assume they even live with 00:03:27.889 --> 00:03:30.310 her. That's number one. If you live with her 00:03:30.310 --> 00:03:32.729 different, maybe it might be different. But most 00:03:32.729 --> 00:03:35.110 people don't live with their girlfriends. Most 00:03:35.110 --> 00:03:37.250 dudes, they see their girlfriend maybe three, 00:03:37.270 --> 00:03:40.930 four times a week, maybe at best. And so for 00:03:40.930 --> 00:03:45.430 you. It's not it's you're going to know this 00:03:45.430 --> 00:03:47.770 a little better than me. Me, I live with my girlfriend. 00:03:48.050 --> 00:03:51.639 Yes, I know I'm committing the cardinals. I'm 00:03:51.639 --> 00:03:55.039 coming in the car to see no gravitation. I get 00:03:55.039 --> 00:03:57.960 that. I get it. The reason I did this in the 00:03:57.960 --> 00:04:00.099 first place is because I wanted to see if I was 00:04:00.099 --> 00:04:03.939 right. I wanted to see maybe I was wrong. I'm 00:04:03.939 --> 00:04:05.580 always willing to admit that I could be wrong. 00:04:05.979 --> 00:04:07.639 Most dudes aren't. Most dudes think they're right 00:04:07.639 --> 00:04:10.379 on everything. Now, while I reserved the right 00:04:10.379 --> 00:04:12.159 to tell you I am right about, you know, pretty 00:04:12.159 --> 00:04:15.750 much everything. I do not, for a second, pretend 00:04:15.750 --> 00:04:18.709 like I don't challenge my belief systems and 00:04:18.709 --> 00:04:20.810 I don't say, hey, wait a minute, maybe I could 00:04:20.810 --> 00:04:24.410 be wrong about what I'm talking about. Maybe 00:04:24.410 --> 00:04:27.810 I'm off base. And that's why the whole reason 00:04:27.810 --> 00:04:31.009 in my relationship. But I really hadn't given 00:04:31.009 --> 00:04:33.810 a long term relationship a chance before. Reason 00:04:33.810 --> 00:04:36.250 being, number one, ever since I turned 18, I've 00:04:36.250 --> 00:04:40.569 been going from military to college to now this 00:04:40.569 --> 00:04:43.899 job I'm working now. I went to Kansas and then 00:04:43.899 --> 00:04:46.579 Idaho and I've been into a lot of different places 00:04:46.579 --> 00:04:49.079 since I graduated high school. I didn't go to 00:04:49.079 --> 00:04:52.139 high school, go to college, get this nine to 00:04:52.139 --> 00:04:54.699 five office job, live in the same place to the 00:04:54.699 --> 00:04:57.620 same people. No, that has not been my life at 00:04:57.620 --> 00:05:00.980 all. As a result of that, I don't have the typical 00:05:00.980 --> 00:05:04.500 lifestyle and as a result, I don't expect somebody 00:05:04.500 --> 00:05:06.759 to just do that with me. Now, Reagan, who is 00:05:06.759 --> 00:05:09.139 my girlfriend now, has been for we're celebrating 00:05:09.139 --> 00:05:14.329 our seven months, not six, seven. tomorrow. And 00:05:14.329 --> 00:05:16.329 I've learned a lot of things throughout these 00:05:16.329 --> 00:05:17.889 last seven months. I've known her for longer 00:05:17.889 --> 00:05:19.970 than that, but we've been together for almost 00:05:19.970 --> 00:05:22.930 seven months. I've learned quite a bit. Number 00:05:22.930 --> 00:05:26.889 one, I already told you. Number is compromise. 00:05:27.050 --> 00:05:28.910 Number two is that sex, you're not always going 00:05:28.910 --> 00:05:32.069 to have it all the time. OK, and number three, 00:05:32.149 --> 00:05:34.689 let's go to number three. Number three, women 00:05:34.689 --> 00:05:38.860 like to collect stuff. Women like to get all 00:05:38.860 --> 00:05:41.480 kinds of random stuff. They like to buy things. 00:05:41.480 --> 00:05:44.420 They like to store stuff. A lot of guys who are 00:05:44.420 --> 00:05:46.060 married will tell you this. That's why they have 00:05:46.060 --> 00:05:48.100 a garage full of crap. They don't gotta like 00:05:48.100 --> 00:05:51.040 go through spring cleaning and be like, I haven't 00:05:51.040 --> 00:05:53.339 seen this in 10 years. That's how this happens. 00:05:54.279 --> 00:05:56.259 Why do you think so many different companies 00:05:56.259 --> 00:05:59.180 aim their products towards women? Answer, because 00:05:59.180 --> 00:06:03.480 women buy so much stuff, dude. That's why they 00:06:03.480 --> 00:06:08.000 buy so much stuff. So if you're a dude, you can't 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:10.699 be broke. Don't broke date broke dating is dumb 00:06:10.699 --> 00:06:13.600 Stupid I don't understand these guys are coming 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:16.199 out here and act like a dating coach. Oh, yeah 00:06:16.199 --> 00:06:18.860 Don't give it don't give a woman nothing. Don't 00:06:18.860 --> 00:06:21.259 pay for nothing. Don't do nothing. Don't do this 00:06:21.259 --> 00:06:24.779 Don't do that keeper and check man. You goofy. 00:06:24.879 --> 00:06:28.139 That's not how this works Am I work if you're 00:06:28.139 --> 00:06:31.300 trying to bang bar chicks and skanks? It's not 00:06:31.300 --> 00:06:32.600 gonna work if you're actually trying to have 00:06:32.600 --> 00:06:34.800 a relationship whether it's a friend of benefits 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:37.779 a non -traditional relationship or even a traditional 00:06:37.779 --> 00:06:40.019 relationship. It's not going to work. It doesn't 00:06:40.019 --> 00:06:43.319 work. I don't care what he says. I care about 00:06:43.319 --> 00:06:46.319 how much hogwash is he putting in with the five 00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:48.420 percent of truth he's giving you. That's the 00:06:48.420 --> 00:06:55.279 fact. OK. I was number three. Number four. You 00:06:55.279 --> 00:06:57.500 need to have something that's more important 00:06:57.500 --> 00:07:00.000 than your relationship. Your relationship cannot 00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:03.089 be your life. see a lot of guys they do that 00:07:03.089 --> 00:07:05.089 especially younger guys younger guys I'm sorry 00:07:05.089 --> 00:07:08.529 I gotta put you guys on blast younger dudes you 00:07:08.529 --> 00:07:10.389 tend to make your life your relationship I've 00:07:10.389 --> 00:07:13.230 seen a lot of guys do this I'm 25 now I was 20 00:07:13.230 --> 00:07:17.910 once I was 15 once guys you can't make your relationship 00:07:17.910 --> 00:07:21.490 your life doesn't work why well I'm glad you 00:07:21.490 --> 00:07:24.970 asked bro it doesn't work because then your entire 00:07:24.970 --> 00:07:27.709 existence becomes around the woman women have 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:30.720 Tons of options even if they don't want to tell 00:07:30.720 --> 00:07:32.899 you they don't have tons of options they do reason 00:07:32.899 --> 00:07:37.360 being have vagina They have beauty men want it 00:07:37.360 --> 00:07:40.839 men from attractive wealthy guys to broke ugly 00:07:40.839 --> 00:07:43.920 dudes They all want the same thing they want 00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:47.480 attention and validation and sexual energy from 00:07:47.480 --> 00:07:52.600 hot chicks This is a fact So guess what? You 00:07:52.600 --> 00:07:55.360 can't make your reality all about that. I don't 00:07:55.360 --> 00:07:58.649 care what they tell you Can they be important 00:07:58.649 --> 00:08:01.189 and should they? Yes, but you got to have something 00:08:01.189 --> 00:08:04.970 you care more about than your relationship Because 00:08:04.970 --> 00:08:08.149 you got to have a North Star in your life You 00:08:08.149 --> 00:08:11.430 could have a first mate You could have a co -captain 00:08:11.430 --> 00:08:13.769 if you really want to but they can't be your 00:08:13.769 --> 00:08:16.430 North Star It can't be your reason for stealing 00:08:16.430 --> 00:08:19.829 your ship They can't be the reason that you do 00:08:19.829 --> 00:08:23.029 things in your life because guess what? They're 00:08:23.029 --> 00:08:25.110 gonna get bored of that. That's a lot of responsibility 00:08:25.110 --> 00:08:27.569 to put on another person Let's put that into 00:08:27.569 --> 00:08:30.250 the perspective for a second. You're telling 00:08:30.250 --> 00:08:33.169 me that as a man, you're going to make your entire 00:08:33.169 --> 00:08:35.889 life about chicks. I mean, who was it? Was it 00:08:35.889 --> 00:08:37.950 Tolstoy? I'm trying to remember who it was. The 00:08:37.950 --> 00:08:40.870 guy who said that everything is about sex except 00:08:40.870 --> 00:08:43.529 for sex. I forget who said that. Anybody in the 00:08:43.529 --> 00:08:45.190 comments section, if you know who I'm talking 00:08:45.190 --> 00:08:48.309 about, who said that? Please let me know. I remember 00:08:48.309 --> 00:08:51.570 the saying I forget who said it. But that's number 00:08:51.570 --> 00:08:53.970 four. Number five that I've learned in six months 00:08:53.970 --> 00:08:55.610 being with my girlfriend almost seven months 00:08:55.610 --> 00:09:00.889 now. You have to be able to Communicate now. 00:09:00.889 --> 00:09:02.830 I know women say this all the time. They might 00:09:02.830 --> 00:09:04.330 there's a communicate communicate. What does 00:09:04.330 --> 00:09:07.850 that mean? Well, I'm glad you asked When they 00:09:07.850 --> 00:09:10.049 say communication what they really mean is you 00:09:10.049 --> 00:09:12.090 need to know what you're doing And you need to 00:09:12.090 --> 00:09:14.490 know how to tell them to get on board. That's 00:09:14.490 --> 00:09:17.149 what communication is now I want to refer back 00:09:17.149 --> 00:09:19.269 to one of my previous statements, which is you 00:09:19.269 --> 00:09:22.250 have to be able to make compromises Yes, but 00:09:22.250 --> 00:09:25.909 you never compromise from a place of weakness 00:09:27.519 --> 00:09:30.399 Communication from a woman's standpoint means 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:32.899 I want to know what my man wants to do and I 00:09:32.899 --> 00:09:35.460 got to know why he's doing it and how I can get 00:09:35.460 --> 00:09:38.759 on board. That's what they want you to do. They 00:09:38.759 --> 00:09:41.080 may not even realize it themselves, but that's 00:09:41.080 --> 00:09:43.919 what they want. They want you to lead. That doesn't 00:09:43.919 --> 00:09:46.379 mean you can be controlling douche. It means 00:09:46.379 --> 00:09:49.360 know what you're doing, where you're going with 00:09:49.360 --> 00:09:52.720 or without them and tell them what the plan is. 00:09:53.019 --> 00:09:55.519 Don't tell them what you could do what you might 00:09:55.519 --> 00:09:58.580 do. Tell them what you're going to do Now am 00:09:58.580 --> 00:10:01.379 I a perfect in this regard? No in general terms. 00:10:01.399 --> 00:10:03.620 I am pretty good about it though Why because 00:10:03.620 --> 00:10:05.559 I know what I'm doing with my life. I know where 00:10:05.559 --> 00:10:08.720 I'm going in my life I have a plan a lot of people 00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:12.159 don't have a plan. They have pornography they 00:10:12.159 --> 00:10:15.019 have Excuses, they don't have any reason to do 00:10:15.019 --> 00:10:17.259 what they're doing They just have something they 00:10:17.259 --> 00:10:19.539 in general want and they have no idea how to 00:10:19.539 --> 00:10:22.840 get it That's the unfortunate reality If you're 00:10:22.840 --> 00:10:25.279 one of those guys, that's OK. I've been there 00:10:25.279 --> 00:10:27.980 myself, but you've got to fix it. You've got 00:10:27.980 --> 00:10:30.200 to fix it ASAP. Well, let me change this real 00:10:30.200 --> 00:10:34.740 quick. My hands getting tired, switch my hand 00:10:34.740 --> 00:10:36.779 real quick. If you're watching on the video, 00:10:36.779 --> 00:10:38.059 if you're listening to audio, you don't know 00:10:38.059 --> 00:10:41.799 what just happened. I switch hands. So like I 00:10:41.799 --> 00:10:45.360 said, number five, let's go to number six. Number 00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:50.559 six is this. My friends, I can't believe I even 00:10:50.559 --> 00:10:54.269 have to say this. Number six, you have to actually 00:10:54.269 --> 00:10:56.509 do the things you say you're going to do. For 00:10:56.509 --> 00:10:59.950 example, you say to your girlfriend, hey, I'm 00:10:59.950 --> 00:11:01.830 going to cook dinner tonight. Hey, I'm going 00:11:01.830 --> 00:11:04.570 to do this. Hey, what are you? Whatever you say 00:11:04.570 --> 00:11:06.549 you're going to do, I don't care how little it 00:11:06.549 --> 00:11:09.889 is. You do it. For example, I tell my girlfriend, 00:11:09.929 --> 00:11:12.889 I'll do dishes. Why? Because I'm used to doing 00:11:12.889 --> 00:11:14.809 them anyway. I've been single for a while. I 00:11:14.809 --> 00:11:17.009 did them when I was a kid. My mom wanted me to 00:11:17.009 --> 00:11:21.000 do them. I do them. Why? Because I volunteered 00:11:21.000 --> 00:11:24.259 to do them. I told her I'd do it, I'd do it. 00:11:24.379 --> 00:11:26.679 She doesn't ever remind me to do it, I'd do it. 00:11:26.679 --> 00:11:29.580 Why? Because I said I'm gonna do it. I said I'm 00:11:29.580 --> 00:11:32.379 gonna keep working on my job, I'd do it. You 00:11:32.379 --> 00:11:34.500 say you're gonna do things, you do it. Don't 00:11:34.500 --> 00:11:37.139 be a weak piece of garbage and not do what you 00:11:37.139 --> 00:11:39.220 say you're gonna do. Because they will lose respect 00:11:39.220 --> 00:11:41.860 for you. They will. And I don't blame them. They 00:11:41.860 --> 00:11:44.100 have full right to lose respect for you. Why? 00:11:44.279 --> 00:11:47.419 Because you don't even respect yourself to do 00:11:47.419 --> 00:11:52.370 what you say you're gonna do. relationships my 00:11:52.370 --> 00:11:56.809 friends are to an extent a power dynamic you 00:11:56.809 --> 00:11:59.409 know when I was in college in my philosophy class 00:11:59.409 --> 00:12:01.590 I said that to my professor my professor looked 00:12:01.590 --> 00:12:05.649 at me and he said Austin that is the saddest 00:12:05.649 --> 00:12:07.970 thing I've ever heard in my entire life and if 00:12:07.970 --> 00:12:10.830 you think that you will never have a meaningful 00:12:10.830 --> 00:12:16.330 relationship in your life now I think he was 00:12:16.330 --> 00:12:19.490 wrong and I also think he got very very emotional 00:12:19.490 --> 00:12:24.769 but What I said was true. It is a power dynamic 00:12:24.769 --> 00:12:27.610 But you know it was interesting my girlfriend 00:12:27.610 --> 00:12:30.289 took her credit had a conversation with me pretty 00:12:30.289 --> 00:12:32.590 early on in the relationship She told me she 00:12:32.590 --> 00:12:37.389 said you know when I hear the word Power I immediately 00:12:37.389 --> 00:12:39.649 equate it with being controlling and I don't 00:12:39.649 --> 00:12:42.669 blame her I don't you know why a lot of dudes 00:12:42.669 --> 00:12:44.970 try to control their girlfriends A lot of dudes 00:12:44.970 --> 00:12:46.950 try to control their life in general in ways 00:12:46.950 --> 00:12:50.149 they can't do it. You can control how you react. 00:12:50.549 --> 00:12:53.409 You can control, to an extent, what happens to 00:12:53.409 --> 00:12:56.090 you. But more often than not, you do not have 00:12:56.090 --> 00:12:58.889 the power nor the mental capacity to control 00:12:58.889 --> 00:13:02.029 every single thing that can happen, might happen, 00:13:02.269 --> 00:13:05.529 has happened, will happen in your life. Thus, 00:13:07.490 --> 00:13:10.950 you don't try to do that. Instead, focus on what 00:13:10.950 --> 00:13:14.340 you can control. And you have two options one 00:13:14.340 --> 00:13:17.259 solve it or to get over it sounds it sounds simple, 00:13:17.419 --> 00:13:19.279 right? But you'd be shocked at how many times 00:13:19.279 --> 00:13:21.159 in our lives has been we try we sit there We're 00:13:21.159 --> 00:13:23.360 like, oh, I hate this. Oh, this isn't right. 00:13:23.480 --> 00:13:26.299 I should be able to control this. No way You 00:13:26.299 --> 00:13:29.740 can't have that mindset It'll consume you it 00:13:29.740 --> 00:13:32.200 will make you hate your life in the same way 00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:34.759 there were my girlfriend voice to me Hey, I'm 00:13:34.759 --> 00:13:36.940 used to dudes being controlling in my relationships. 00:13:36.940 --> 00:13:39.399 I told her I said, you know what I'm not them 00:13:39.399 --> 00:13:44.080 number one and number two You either get on board 00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:46.220 or get out of the way if you ever go on her live 00:13:46.220 --> 00:13:48.779 streams, which has on tik -tok on a regular basis 00:13:48.779 --> 00:13:51.320 I've tagged her in below. I'm not gonna watch 00:13:51.320 --> 00:13:52.740 you're not watcher. I don't care whether you 00:13:52.740 --> 00:13:56.879 do or not But what I'm saying to you is you ask 00:13:56.879 --> 00:13:58.659 her in her live stream if I've said this now 00:13:58.659 --> 00:14:01.220 She'll tell you I've said it it's get on board 00:14:01.220 --> 00:14:03.379 or get out of the way That is my philosophy in 00:14:03.379 --> 00:14:05.220 my life with the people in my life You either 00:14:05.220 --> 00:14:06.799 get on board with what I'm doing or where I'm 00:14:06.799 --> 00:14:09.519 going or get out of the way Because I'm not gonna 00:14:09.519 --> 00:14:13.139 sit here and waste my time Gentlemen, if you 00:14:13.139 --> 00:14:15.620 come at your relationships in that regard, you 00:14:15.620 --> 00:14:17.480 would think you'd be negative, right? But it's 00:14:17.480 --> 00:14:21.240 not. Why? Because you are telling people upfront 00:14:21.240 --> 00:14:24.559 what to expect. A lot of dudes are afraid to 00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:27.220 do this. They're afraid to set boundaries in 00:14:27.220 --> 00:14:30.279 rules and lines in the sand. You can't be afraid. 00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:35.639 Number seven is exactly that. Do not be afraid. 00:14:37.100 --> 00:14:40.179 You can't be afraid to lead, my friends. You 00:14:40.179 --> 00:14:43.070 cannot be afraid to lead. One thing I've learned 00:14:43.070 --> 00:14:45.070 being in a long -term relationship that I honestly 00:14:45.070 --> 00:14:49.230 should have learned beforehand was this. You 00:14:49.230 --> 00:14:51.789 can't lead others if you can't lead yourself. 00:14:52.129 --> 00:14:54.570 You can't hold yourself to a high standard then 00:14:54.570 --> 00:14:57.049 you can't tell someone else to step their game 00:14:57.049 --> 00:14:59.690 up without being a hypocritical piece of crap. 00:15:00.470 --> 00:15:02.990 Do not be that person. It is a disgraceful thing 00:15:02.990 --> 00:15:06.669 to do. It makes you look stupid. It makes you 00:15:06.669 --> 00:15:08.809 look like somebody who nobody's gonna respect 00:15:08.809 --> 00:15:10.450 and they're gonna look at you and be like... 00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:15.320 Guys skies him this guy does not respect himself 00:15:15.320 --> 00:15:18.519 and then we'll do if a woman ever loses respect 00:15:18.519 --> 00:15:21.820 for you It's game over cue the Mario and landing 00:15:21.820 --> 00:15:26.000 lava noise. It's over. You're done It doesn't 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:28.580 work women do not have sex with men. They don't 00:15:28.580 --> 00:15:32.980 respect You my friend need to have respect and 00:15:32.980 --> 00:15:36.759 I'm not saying demand respect I'm saying you 00:15:36.759 --> 00:15:40.299 you you talk to talk and you walk to walk Sometimes 00:15:40.299 --> 00:15:42.620 walk in the walk before you even need to talk 00:15:42.620 --> 00:15:47.320 talk Straight facts if you can't do that. Well, 00:15:47.460 --> 00:15:53.779 guess what? You just lost you lost the game my 00:15:53.779 --> 00:15:56.899 friend you lost the game my microphone just died 00:15:56.899 --> 00:16:00.320 I Thought I charge that thing all dang day goes 00:16:00.320 --> 00:16:03.360 to tell you how sometimes things just Disappoint 00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:05.580 you which is a whole nother thing number eight. 00:16:05.799 --> 00:16:08.389 They're gonna be disappointed You're going to 00:16:08.389 --> 00:16:12.029 be disappointed and you got to find out how you 00:16:12.029 --> 00:16:15.970 not me you how you're gonna deal with disappointment 00:16:15.970 --> 00:16:21.110 Because how you deal with disappointment will 00:16:21.110 --> 00:16:23.429 tell you everything you need to know about your 00:16:23.429 --> 00:16:26.610 crisis management skills I don't care if it's 00:16:26.610 --> 00:16:29.029 disappointment in your job. I don't care which 00:16:29.029 --> 00:16:31.870 is appointment with your friends family pets, 00:16:32.070 --> 00:16:35.940 whatever the Campbell's back will be broken by 00:16:35.940 --> 00:16:38.720 the piece of straw and more. Nine out of ten 00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:42.220 times that straw that breaks the camel's back 00:16:42.220 --> 00:16:44.100 is going to be something your significant other 00:16:44.100 --> 00:16:47.559 says or does, at which point you have to make 00:16:47.559 --> 00:16:49.399 a choice. Are you going to sit there and blame 00:16:49.399 --> 00:16:51.620 them or are you going to sit there and say, wait 00:16:51.620 --> 00:16:55.019 a minute, hold up? This is not entirely their 00:16:55.019 --> 00:16:58.679 fault. However, I'm unhappy and I got to get 00:16:58.679 --> 00:17:01.460 out of the situation. I'm not gonna say something 00:17:01.460 --> 00:17:04.359 I regret I'm not gonna do something God forbid 00:17:04.359 --> 00:17:06.900 I'm gonna regret I'm gonna walk away I'm gonna 00:17:06.900 --> 00:17:09.519 be mature I'm gonna make a new mature choice 00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:14.059 You cannot let that happen if you do it your 00:17:14.059 --> 00:17:16.839 relationship will go toxic and it will not endure 00:17:16.839 --> 00:17:19.259 I don't care what the relationship with a romantic 00:17:19.259 --> 00:17:22.740 partner or with a friend You can't let other 00:17:22.740 --> 00:17:26.220 people just vent on you without being a weakling 00:17:26.220 --> 00:17:29.480 and most people are not weaklings the most people 00:17:29.480 --> 00:17:32.059 will stand up for themselves at least i surely 00:17:32.059 --> 00:17:36.099 hope so number nine we're going on 10 things 00:17:36.099 --> 00:17:38.480 that i've learned in my six months in a relationship 00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:44.240 almost seven number nine you have to pick your 00:17:44.240 --> 00:17:47.519 battles now a lot of these are applicable across 00:17:47.519 --> 00:17:50.279 the board but this one in particular is incredibly 00:17:50.279 --> 00:17:52.960 important go on to pick your battles what matters 00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:57.039 to you Does the her leaving her socks? I'll bother 00:17:57.039 --> 00:17:59.559 you to the point where you're gonna cue a big 00:17:59.559 --> 00:18:03.400 make a big deal about it. That's her maybe not 00:18:03.400 --> 00:18:06.779 making the bed or Not doing laundry or not pulling 00:18:06.779 --> 00:18:09.039 laundry or whatever. Is that gonna is I gonna 00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:11.880 really cramp your style? Is that really gonna 00:18:11.880 --> 00:18:13.960 make you freak out? You're gonna make it a big 00:18:13.960 --> 00:18:17.940 deal What you choose make a big deal about? That's 00:18:17.940 --> 00:18:20.630 your business What I'm telling you, is you have 00:18:20.630 --> 00:18:22.869 to choose your battles very carefully, because 00:18:22.869 --> 00:18:25.650 the more you pick and cry wolf, just like in 00:18:25.650 --> 00:18:27.910 that story, the man who cried wolf, or I think 00:18:27.910 --> 00:18:31.890 it was the boy, the boy who cried wolf, after 00:18:31.890 --> 00:18:34.630 a certain number of times, the villagers didn't 00:18:34.630 --> 00:18:36.309 believe him anymore, in the same way that if 00:18:36.309 --> 00:18:38.009 you make a big deal, and make a mountain out 00:18:38.009 --> 00:18:40.230 of every mill hill in your relationship, it's 00:18:40.230 --> 00:18:43.869 over. You're gonna burn out so quickly you have 00:18:43.869 --> 00:18:47.180 no idea, and you're gonna lose frame. You're 00:18:47.180 --> 00:18:49.059 going to lose frame as a man if you make a big 00:18:49.059 --> 00:18:51.259 deal out of every single little thing that happens 00:18:51.259 --> 00:18:53.319 You've got to pick your battles. You got to pick 00:18:53.319 --> 00:18:57.140 them carefully if you don't then you're going 00:18:57.140 --> 00:19:01.740 to just cue the same response and finally number 00:19:01.740 --> 00:19:05.099 ten number ten out of the ten things I learned 00:19:05.099 --> 00:19:07.920 is not everybody should be in a relationship 00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:12.160 Because sometimes as a man you're in a building 00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:15.140 phase and you can't afford to have a relationship 00:19:15.140 --> 00:19:19.400 not We don't live in a world especially in the 00:19:19.400 --> 00:19:21.640 West in America We don't live in a time where 00:19:21.640 --> 00:19:24.099 a lot of women have the desire to build anything 00:19:24.099 --> 00:19:26.640 with you as a man in fact if anything they're 00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:29.420 looked down on by other women by doing for doing 00:19:29.420 --> 00:19:34.420 so and So do not think this is normal and do 00:19:34.420 --> 00:19:37.200 not think that you're gonna find what you're 00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:42.759 looking for And especially not easily You my 00:19:42.759 --> 00:19:44.980 friend have to build and have a purpose first 00:19:44.980 --> 00:19:47.740 this last one ties into every one to come before 00:19:47.740 --> 00:19:51.279 it You can't you got to have things in plain 00:19:51.279 --> 00:19:54.160 English For women to want to be part of your 00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:56.599 program if you don't have a program You don't 00:19:56.599 --> 00:19:59.240 have a train to get on board. It's no wonder 00:19:59.240 --> 00:20:01.880 that nobody wants to be on your train That's 00:20:01.880 --> 00:20:03.799 not a main. That's not a euphemism for something 00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:06.339 dirty That's just an example if you don't have 00:20:06.339 --> 00:20:09.859 anything Going for you, then you can't be shocked 00:20:10.900 --> 00:20:13.000 That if nobody wants to get on board in the same 00:20:13.000 --> 00:20:14.759 way that if a woman has nothing going for her 00:20:14.759 --> 00:20:17.039 She has no boobs. She has no ass. She has no 00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:19.759 it's just a bad attitude. She's annoying She's 00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:22.460 not gonna get high -level guys In the same way 00:20:22.460 --> 00:20:24.000 that if you as a man, you don't have a purpose 00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:26.259 in life You don't have things you're gonna stand 00:20:26.259 --> 00:20:28.940 behind. You don't have things you care about 00:20:28.940 --> 00:20:31.880 Then why would a woman waste her time with you? 00:20:32.759 --> 00:20:34.720 My friends relationships are hard. They're a 00:20:34.720 --> 00:20:36.720 lot of work and at the end of the day you have 00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:38.460 to decide whether you want to be part of it or 00:20:38.460 --> 00:20:40.910 not I see both sides of the aisle now, I really 00:20:40.910 --> 00:20:43.710 do. But you my friend have to decide what you're 00:20:43.710 --> 00:20:45.630 choosing to do and what you're choosing you don't 00:20:45.630 --> 00:20:48.569 want to put up with. Don't just be in a relationship 00:20:48.569 --> 00:20:52.470 for social validation. Do it because you want 00:20:52.470 --> 00:20:55.009 to be there. Do it because you think is best 00:20:55.009 --> 00:20:57.210 for you. Not because you want people to think 00:20:57.210 --> 00:20:59.269 differently of you or because you think you want 00:20:59.269 --> 00:21:01.410 their attention or validation. Forget all that 00:21:01.410 --> 00:21:04.230 BS. Do it because you want to and because you 00:21:04.230 --> 00:21:07.029 think it's gonna be good for your brand, your 00:21:07.029 --> 00:21:12.779 life. That's why you do it. My friends, you let 00:21:12.779 --> 00:21:14.339 me know if you've been in a relationship, whether 00:21:14.339 --> 00:21:17.440 you've been in a marriage, dating relationship, 00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:20.160 whatever, let me know how you've survived as 00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:21.740 long as you did or if you're still in it. How 00:21:21.740 --> 00:21:23.200 do you survive into this day? And you let me 00:21:23.200 --> 00:21:25.539 know. I think a lot of us can learn a lot from 00:21:25.539 --> 00:21:28.880 each other. And exchange those notes and see 00:21:28.880 --> 00:21:30.779 for all on the same page, my friends, take care 00:21:30.779 --> 00:21:33.180 of yourselves. And I look forward to hearing 00:21:33.180 --> 00:21:35.599 about you on this topic. Take care. I'm out. 00:21:35.700 --> 00:21:36.019 Peace.