Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to sheep get shared
podcast. I'm your host Austin Cree to my friends
today I want to get back into we'll talk a little
bit about relationships today. I really want
to focus on My milestone of six months with my
girlfriend and I'm and not so much to have paths
on the back Some people tell me I'm stupid for
being in a relationship. I'm bringing it up because
I want to tell guys who maybe they're interested
in a relationship, maybe not the traditional
relationship, or maybe they're just interested
in relationships in general. How to survive six
months. No, I'm not going to sound ominous, right?
I'm to survive six months. Oh, it's crazy. And
it sounds toxic. No, it's not. It's not what
you expected. Frankly, it's not what I expected.
And that's why I want to talk about it. Because
it's one thing to talk about a relationship.
You've never had one. It's another to talk about
it. When you're so deep in a relationship that
you don't even know left from right, up from
down or anything else. It's really hard to have
an opinion that makes sense. For example, there
are guys who can let their emotions get a little
too close to home. They can be a little too emotional
and it's easy to let that just go completely
distort your worldview to the point where you
don't even know what you're talking about anymore.
So let's get down to a couple things I've noticed
being six months with my girlfriend. Number one
is you have to make compromises because that's
just human nature. If you want to have a relationship,
you have to make some kind of compromise. I don't
care if it's a lot or a little, you're making
compromises. It's unavoidable. I don't don't
lose it if he's dating coaches or like, no, just
just whole frame is whole frame. And then it'll
all work out. Dude, you know how hard it is to
hold frame when you've been out working all day
and you come home and you're like Tommy on conversation
and she's trying to tell you something. You're
just like, bro, I don't give a fuck anymore.
We just I don't care. I don't care anymore. Do
what you want. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to be
there, man. And not because she's bad or evil,
but because women are just different than us.
Women are different than us. If you ever figure
that out by now. You'll figure it out pretty
quick. You'll figure it out really quick. Second
thing that I've learned, I'll try to keep this
to a list of 10 things. First thing was you gotta
make compromises. Second thing I've learned,
you're not gonna be getting sex as much as you
expected. Now, for a lot of dudes, this won't
be a surprise, but for some dudes it is, because
here's the interesting thing. You think that
the incels are the guys who don't have girlfriends.
Some extent, that's probably true. The other
extent is guys who are in a relationship, especially
after the honeymoon stage is over. I would say
three months is usually when the honeymoon phase
is officially over and that's when you've got
the extended package. Over time, it's gonna go
away. And life's gonna have, it's not so much
that your girlfriend's always turning you down
or that she's unattractive to you. That might
be a role, and I'm not coming to play. I'm not
telling you it's not gonna happen. It could.
But it's also good as life happens, dude. First
of all, you let's assume they even live with
her. That's number one. If you live with her
different, maybe it might be different. But most
people don't live with their girlfriends. Most
dudes, they see their girlfriend maybe three,
four times a week, maybe at best. And so for
you. It's not it's you're going to know this
a little better than me. Me, I live with my girlfriend.
Yes, I know I'm committing the cardinals. I'm
coming in the car to see no gravitation. I get
that. I get it. The reason I did this in the
first place is because I wanted to see if I was
right. I wanted to see maybe I was wrong. I'm
always willing to admit that I could be wrong.
Most dudes aren't. Most dudes think they're right
on everything. Now, while I reserved the right
to tell you I am right about, you know, pretty
much everything. I do not, for a second, pretend
like I don't challenge my belief systems and
I don't say, hey, wait a minute, maybe I could
be wrong about what I'm talking about. Maybe
I'm off base. And that's why the whole reason
in my relationship. But I really hadn't given
a long term relationship a chance before. Reason
being, number one, ever since I turned 18, I've
been going from military to college to now this
job I'm working now. I went to Kansas and then
Idaho and I've been into a lot of different places
since I graduated high school. I didn't go to
high school, go to college, get this nine to
five office job, live in the same place to the
same people. No, that has not been my life at
all. As a result of that, I don't have the typical
lifestyle and as a result, I don't expect somebody
to just do that with me. Now, Reagan, who is
my girlfriend now, has been for we're celebrating
our seven months, not six, seven. tomorrow. And
I've learned a lot of things throughout these
last seven months. I've known her for longer
than that, but we've been together for almost
seven months. I've learned quite a bit. Number
one, I already told you. Number is compromise.
Number two is that sex, you're not always going
to have it all the time. OK, and number three,
let's go to number three. Number three, women
like to collect stuff. Women like to get all
kinds of random stuff. They like to buy things.
They like to store stuff. A lot of guys who are
married will tell you this. That's why they have
a garage full of crap. They don't gotta like
go through spring cleaning and be like, I haven't
seen this in 10 years. That's how this happens.
Why do you think so many different companies
aim their products towards women? Answer, because
women buy so much stuff, dude. That's why they
buy so much stuff. So if you're a dude, you can't
be broke. Don't broke date broke dating is dumb
Stupid I don't understand these guys are coming
out here and act like a dating coach. Oh, yeah
Don't give it don't give a woman nothing. Don't
pay for nothing. Don't do nothing. Don't do this
Don't do that keeper and check man. You goofy.
That's not how this works Am I work if you're
trying to bang bar chicks and skanks? It's not
gonna work if you're actually trying to have
a relationship whether it's a friend of benefits
a non -traditional relationship or even a traditional
relationship. It's not going to work. It doesn't
work. I don't care what he says. I care about
how much hogwash is he putting in with the five
percent of truth he's giving you. That's the
fact. OK. I was number three. Number four. You
need to have something that's more important
than your relationship. Your relationship cannot
be your life. see a lot of guys they do that
especially younger guys younger guys I'm sorry
I gotta put you guys on blast younger dudes you
tend to make your life your relationship I've
seen a lot of guys do this I'm 25 now I was 20
once I was 15 once guys you can't make your relationship
your life doesn't work why well I'm glad you
asked bro it doesn't work because then your entire
existence becomes around the woman women have
Tons of options even if they don't want to tell
you they don't have tons of options they do reason
being have vagina They have beauty men want it
men from attractive wealthy guys to broke ugly
dudes They all want the same thing they want
attention and validation and sexual energy from
hot chicks This is a fact So guess what? You
can't make your reality all about that. I don't
care what they tell you Can they be important
and should they? Yes, but you got to have something
you care more about than your relationship Because
you got to have a North Star in your life You
could have a first mate You could have a co -captain
if you really want to but they can't be your
North Star It can't be your reason for stealing
your ship They can't be the reason that you do
things in your life because guess what? They're
gonna get bored of that. That's a lot of responsibility
to put on another person Let's put that into
the perspective for a second. You're telling
me that as a man, you're going to make your entire
life about chicks. I mean, who was it? Was it
Tolstoy? I'm trying to remember who it was. The
guy who said that everything is about sex except
for sex. I forget who said that. Anybody in the
comments section, if you know who I'm talking
about, who said that? Please let me know. I remember
the saying I forget who said it. But that's number
four. Number five that I've learned in six months
being with my girlfriend almost seven months
now. You have to be able to Communicate now.
I know women say this all the time. They might
there's a communicate communicate. What does
that mean? Well, I'm glad you asked When they
say communication what they really mean is you
need to know what you're doing And you need to
know how to tell them to get on board. That's
what communication is now I want to refer back
to one of my previous statements, which is you
have to be able to make compromises Yes, but
you never compromise from a place of weakness
Communication from a woman's standpoint means
I want to know what my man wants to do and I
got to know why he's doing it and how I can get
on board. That's what they want you to do. They
may not even realize it themselves, but that's
what they want. They want you to lead. That doesn't
mean you can be controlling douche. It means
know what you're doing, where you're going with
or without them and tell them what the plan is.
Don't tell them what you could do what you might
do. Tell them what you're going to do Now am
I a perfect in this regard? No in general terms.
I am pretty good about it though Why because
I know what I'm doing with my life. I know where
I'm going in my life I have a plan a lot of people
don't have a plan. They have pornography they
have Excuses, they don't have any reason to do
what they're doing They just have something they
in general want and they have no idea how to
get it That's the unfortunate reality If you're
one of those guys, that's OK. I've been there
myself, but you've got to fix it. You've got
to fix it ASAP. Well, let me change this real
quick. My hands getting tired, switch my hand
real quick. If you're watching on the video,
if you're listening to audio, you don't know
what just happened. I switch hands. So like I
said, number five, let's go to number six. Number
six is this. My friends, I can't believe I even
have to say this. Number six, you have to actually
do the things you say you're going to do. For
example, you say to your girlfriend, hey, I'm
going to cook dinner tonight. Hey, I'm going
to do this. Hey, what are you? Whatever you say
you're going to do, I don't care how little it
is. You do it. For example, I tell my girlfriend,
I'll do dishes. Why? Because I'm used to doing
them anyway. I've been single for a while. I
did them when I was a kid. My mom wanted me to
do them. I do them. Why? Because I volunteered
to do them. I told her I'd do it, I'd do it.
She doesn't ever remind me to do it, I'd do it.
Why? Because I said I'm gonna do it. I said I'm
gonna keep working on my job, I'd do it. You
say you're gonna do things, you do it. Don't
be a weak piece of garbage and not do what you
say you're gonna do. Because they will lose respect
for you. They will. And I don't blame them. They
have full right to lose respect for you. Why?
Because you don't even respect yourself to do
what you say you're gonna do. relationships my
friends are to an extent a power dynamic you
know when I was in college in my philosophy class
I said that to my professor my professor looked
at me and he said Austin that is the saddest
thing I've ever heard in my entire life and if
you think that you will never have a meaningful
relationship in your life now I think he was
wrong and I also think he got very very emotional
but What I said was true. It is a power dynamic
But you know it was interesting my girlfriend
took her credit had a conversation with me pretty
early on in the relationship She told me she
said you know when I hear the word Power I immediately
equate it with being controlling and I don't
blame her I don't you know why a lot of dudes
try to control their girlfriends A lot of dudes
try to control their life in general in ways
they can't do it. You can control how you react.
You can control, to an extent, what happens to
you. But more often than not, you do not have
the power nor the mental capacity to control
every single thing that can happen, might happen,
has happened, will happen in your life. Thus,
you don't try to do that. Instead, focus on what
you can control. And you have two options one
solve it or to get over it sounds it sounds simple,
right? But you'd be shocked at how many times
in our lives has been we try we sit there We're
like, oh, I hate this. Oh, this isn't right.
I should be able to control this. No way You
can't have that mindset It'll consume you it
will make you hate your life in the same way
there were my girlfriend voice to me Hey, I'm
used to dudes being controlling in my relationships.
I told her I said, you know what I'm not them
number one and number two You either get on board
or get out of the way if you ever go on her live
streams, which has on tik -tok on a regular basis
I've tagged her in below. I'm not gonna watch
you're not watcher. I don't care whether you
do or not But what I'm saying to you is you ask
her in her live stream if I've said this now
She'll tell you I've said it it's get on board
or get out of the way That is my philosophy in
my life with the people in my life You either
get on board with what I'm doing or where I'm
going or get out of the way Because I'm not gonna
sit here and waste my time Gentlemen, if you
come at your relationships in that regard, you
would think you'd be negative, right? But it's
not. Why? Because you are telling people upfront
what to expect. A lot of dudes are afraid to
do this. They're afraid to set boundaries in
rules and lines in the sand. You can't be afraid.
Number seven is exactly that. Do not be afraid.
You can't be afraid to lead, my friends. You
cannot be afraid to lead. One thing I've learned
being in a long -term relationship that I honestly
should have learned beforehand was this. You
can't lead others if you can't lead yourself.
You can't hold yourself to a high standard then
you can't tell someone else to step their game
up without being a hypocritical piece of crap.
Do not be that person. It is a disgraceful thing
to do. It makes you look stupid. It makes you
look like somebody who nobody's gonna respect
and they're gonna look at you and be like...
Guys skies him this guy does not respect himself
and then we'll do if a woman ever loses respect
for you It's game over cue the Mario and landing
lava noise. It's over. You're done It doesn't
work women do not have sex with men. They don't
respect You my friend need to have respect and
I'm not saying demand respect I'm saying you
you you talk to talk and you walk to walk Sometimes
walk in the walk before you even need to talk
talk Straight facts if you can't do that. Well,
guess what? You just lost you lost the game my
friend you lost the game my microphone just died
I Thought I charge that thing all dang day goes
to tell you how sometimes things just Disappoint
you which is a whole nother thing number eight.
They're gonna be disappointed You're going to
be disappointed and you got to find out how you
not me you how you're gonna deal with disappointment
Because how you deal with disappointment will
tell you everything you need to know about your
crisis management skills I don't care if it's
disappointment in your job. I don't care which
is appointment with your friends family pets,
whatever the Campbell's back will be broken by
the piece of straw and more. Nine out of ten
times that straw that breaks the camel's back
is going to be something your significant other
says or does, at which point you have to make
a choice. Are you going to sit there and blame
them or are you going to sit there and say, wait
a minute, hold up? This is not entirely their
fault. However, I'm unhappy and I got to get
out of the situation. I'm not gonna say something
I regret I'm not gonna do something God forbid
I'm gonna regret I'm gonna walk away I'm gonna
be mature I'm gonna make a new mature choice
You cannot let that happen if you do it your
relationship will go toxic and it will not endure
I don't care what the relationship with a romantic
partner or with a friend You can't let other
people just vent on you without being a weakling
and most people are not weaklings the most people
will stand up for themselves at least i surely
hope so number nine we're going on 10 things
that i've learned in my six months in a relationship
almost seven number nine you have to pick your
battles now a lot of these are applicable across
the board but this one in particular is incredibly
important go on to pick your battles what matters
to you Does the her leaving her socks? I'll bother
you to the point where you're gonna cue a big
make a big deal about it. That's her maybe not
making the bed or Not doing laundry or not pulling
laundry or whatever. Is that gonna is I gonna
really cramp your style? Is that really gonna
make you freak out? You're gonna make it a big
deal What you choose make a big deal about? That's
your business What I'm telling you, is you have
to choose your battles very carefully, because
the more you pick and cry wolf, just like in
that story, the man who cried wolf, or I think
it was the boy, the boy who cried wolf, after
a certain number of times, the villagers didn't
believe him anymore, in the same way that if
you make a big deal, and make a mountain out
of every mill hill in your relationship, it's
over. You're gonna burn out so quickly you have
no idea, and you're gonna lose frame. You're
going to lose frame as a man if you make a big
deal out of every single little thing that happens
You've got to pick your battles. You got to pick
them carefully if you don't then you're going
to just cue the same response and finally number
ten number ten out of the ten things I learned
is not everybody should be in a relationship
Because sometimes as a man you're in a building
phase and you can't afford to have a relationship
not We don't live in a world especially in the
West in America We don't live in a time where
a lot of women have the desire to build anything
with you as a man in fact if anything they're
looked down on by other women by doing for doing
so and So do not think this is normal and do
not think that you're gonna find what you're
looking for And especially not easily You my
friend have to build and have a purpose first
this last one ties into every one to come before
it You can't you got to have things in plain
English For women to want to be part of your
program if you don't have a program You don't
have a train to get on board. It's no wonder
that nobody wants to be on your train That's
not a main. That's not a euphemism for something
dirty That's just an example if you don't have
anything Going for you, then you can't be shocked
That if nobody wants to get on board in the same
way that if a woman has nothing going for her
She has no boobs. She has no ass. She has no
it's just a bad attitude. She's annoying She's
not gonna get high -level guys In the same way
that if you as a man, you don't have a purpose
in life You don't have things you're gonna stand
behind. You don't have things you care about
Then why would a woman waste her time with you?
My friends relationships are hard. They're a
lot of work and at the end of the day you have
to decide whether you want to be part of it or
not I see both sides of the aisle now, I really
do. But you my friend have to decide what you're
choosing to do and what you're choosing you don't
want to put up with. Don't just be in a relationship
for social validation. Do it because you want
to be there. Do it because you think is best
for you. Not because you want people to think
differently of you or because you think you want
their attention or validation. Forget all that
BS. Do it because you want to and because you
think it's gonna be good for your brand, your
life. That's why you do it. My friends, you let
me know if you've been in a relationship, whether
you've been in a marriage, dating relationship,
whatever, let me know how you've survived as
long as you did or if you're still in it. How
do you survive into this day? And you let me
know. I think a lot of us can learn a lot from
each other. And exchange those notes and see
for all on the same page, my friends, take care
of yourselves. And I look forward to hearing
about you on this topic. Take care. I'm out.
Peace.