That, my friends, look, I understand this is going to be very hard to swallow. I understand that this is not something we like to discuss. I understand it. But you know what? Like any good medicine, tastes lousy. The truth is no different. And the truth is, in any type of medicine you can imagine, it is the medicine, the medicine to your mental health, the medicine to the future that you want to build for yourself. It is the ultimate medicine. The truth shall set you free. And this is unfortunately the truth. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the sheep Get Sheared podcast. I'm your host, Austin Creed. My friends, I want to welcome you into the show. Today, we're going to return to the we're all of relationships yet again because at the end of the day, my friends relationships are one of those things that. We all encounter every single day of our lives, and the more that we interact with people, whether it be platonically, romantically, the more we found we form the foundation that will eventually be set for our lives, and we could build upon it from there. And So what we need to discuss today is something I don't hear anybody else talking about. Which is the. Unfortunate facade that a lot of people face when they look around them in relationships. So. I can't be the only one, I hope I'm not projecting on the show today, but I can't be the only one who goes rather to the mall, to the supermarket, to out to eat, to the, to the pub, wherever and I see these couples walk around and they look happy, right? They look, Oh my gosh, dude, that looks so nice. You know, girl looks put together. The guy looks happy. Maybe they're holding hands. Me. They're walking and they're talking. And you're like, oh, man, I want that Austin. That sounds nice. That looks good. It kept beat up. That right, I want that or, God forbid, you look at the movies and you see the actors and the actresses portraying this, this romantic ideal. And you look on the screen and you're captivated by it and you're like, oh, my gosh, this is beautiful. I I need it. For myself. And you know what? I don't blame you for thinking like that. Truly, I don't. I don't see here and pretend like ohh guys. I'm I'm some. I'm some pioneer. I got everything. I don't have any problems. No, no, man. I'm in this with you guys on this. But what we're going to do today is we need to understand that this is another illusion. Because while you might see 5 seconds of their relationship and you might be forgiven for thinking that they have some amazing relationship, what you didn't see is what that dude paid for. To get that moment that you saw in public. Maybe he had to do some chore play. Maybe he had to put up with a fight or an argument. Maybe he had to sacrifice his weekend, that he had the plans to do. Maybe he had to sacrifice his Peace of Mind to get that one moment that you saw. So he looks like he has a perfect relationship. The whole illusion around the perfect relationship needs to be revealed for the fraud that it is, and so we're going to do is we're going to go through a couple of videos discussing what the so-called perfect relationship is, if it exists, what it looks like, and then we're going to see just what these men give up to. To for this so-called perfect relationship that you get to see little glimpses of the low through the looking glass of society. So the first thing we're gonna look at is this video right here. And they're going to describe for actually know it. Now I want to show you guys this one first, this is this is Mr. Steve Harvey. You might know him from the TV show. The all too famous TV show family feud. You might know him from there. You might have seen multiple clips reads so-called an expert in relationships. Now even though his record is spotty at best, in my opinion. Well, that's your what this man has to say about relationship. 

The best advice anyone has ever gave me is this. Love ain't always easy, but it's always worth it. You see, relationships are like a dance. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow and sometimes you step on each others toes. But the key is to keep dancing, keep moving. And keep working. Together, it ain't about being perfect. It's about being real and showing up every single day for each other. Now let me tell you something real. When you find that person who sees your flaws and still chooses to stand by you, that's gold. That's something money can't buy. It takes courage to love someone deeply, to be vulnerable. To share your dreams, your fears, your heart. But when you do, you create a bond that can weather any storm. You build. Something that can't be shaken by lifes ups and downs. So let me finish with this. Hold on to each other, tight and never let go. Fight for your love even when it's. 

Off. 

Like and share this with somebody who needs to hear it and for. 

Alright, alright, alright. You've you've said enough. Here's my initial response. 

You for being so dumb. 

So here's a problem guys. We're gonna go through this one more time. I know it might be painful for you. What we're gonna do is we're gonna go through this one more time, and I'm gonna break this down piece by piece. Cause he made a lot of points in a very short clip, and we need to discuss when we talk about the notion or the illusion of the notion of perfect relationships. The idea that what you see is what it the relationship is and you form. Idealistic notion of certain relationships or not based off of something that doesn't even exist. You know how many people look at fake relationships and by fake I mean it's reality TV. Some movie. A lot of people will frame their relationship after fake. Fictional portrayals of human relationships, and they will compare it to that. And they will hope that if they only they do this or only if their spouse or their girlfriend or their fiance does that, that they can have that relationship. And The thing is. It's all based off of a lie, and this Mickey Mouse mentality that you just listened to, we're going to dive into right now and we're going to expose it for what it is, which in my opinion is an absolute facade. And let's let's let's return and let's see what he has to say one more time. 

The best advice anyone has ever gave me is this. Love ain't always easy, but it's always worth it. 

Let's stop right there. What do you mean, worth it? As in it's not easy. Well, that's a really. How unbelievably passive can you be? It's not easy. What do you mean? It's not easy. Let's see what he has to say. Well, why is it not easy? 

You see, relationships are like a dance. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. 

This is so disgusting. Invite and let me tell you why this is bad advice. Gentlemen, women like men. Who lead? This is a biological phenomenon. This is how we are set up. And if you don't believe me? Go look at the average dynamic. The man is the Dom and the woman is the sub. In plain English, are there exceptions? Of course there is. Duh, and or hello. That's not the point. The point is. Men are supposed to lead. You're not supposed to follow. You can listen to advice from other people in your counsel, like every king does. But you don't let them make the decision for you. You don't let somebody else lead you. That is not what you do. Leaders don't let other people lead them. They don't follow somebody else. They can listen and heed their advice. But they are the ones who make the choice to whether to listen or not. The other person doesn't make it for them. This is the problem with the modern relationship marketplace. Women like to lead sometimes and follow at other times, and that's where this whole notion of the equal partnership enters the conversation. And this is the biggest fraud out there for two reasons. One. Gender roles only become valid when it benefits the women to when it comes down to this equal partnership. We need to understand that women don't actually respect men who adhere to such a thing. Why do they need you? For if you are not leading them, what do they need you for? They don't respect you leaders. Are people who are ahead of the pack. They don't kind of sit back with the pack and call the shots from their rear. Any general of renowned in history. And almost every general mind you, up until the very recent history. Always led their troops into battle. They didn't sit back in a comfy chair like they do today because of the advanced weapons that we have. A lot of presidents have to do that. And back in the day, a lot of kings Dukes. Princes, emperors, they all led their troops in the battle. They didn't sit back in the comfy chair and wait for good news, or have other people handle their their dirty work. They didn't do that. They went on the field of battle in the same way that a man of the average household in America and in the. Rest they go to work and to the battlefield every day. A lot of people don't understand this, but work is a battleground. You are trying to work your way up the corporate ladder. You're trying to simultaneously work together with and compete with the people next to you. You're trying to get your way up this the ladder, while at the same time and trying not to shove. Who will at least not be obvious about it? Shove other people off the ladder. It's a very shark. Eat shark, dog, eat dog world and for some reason. Women don't appreciate that a lot of the times they are so focused on that, that stay at home aspect of the so-called unpaid labor part so-called emotional labor part that they don't see that. So when we talk about this notion from Steve Harvey of sometimes you lead and sometimes you follow that is horrible advice for men and it does not lead to the so-called. Perfect relationship that people like to paint that doesn't exist. It's anyway. 

And sometimes you step on each others toes, but the key is to keep dancing, keep moving and keep working together. It ain't about being perfect. It's about being real. 

See, here's the problem. If you look at this from a like a purely abstract perspective, what you would say he he makes sense and he might be right. But when you look, take it out of the practical and insert it into the very difficult lab of reality, we see it entirely different situation. You ask any divorced guy or a guy who's been married. For more than you know, five years, which is when the honeymoon phase usually ends. If not before that. You end up with the reality of. 

Yeah. 

Women tend to get bored of monogamy faster than men statistically, and then you look at that and you're trying to maintain the illusion of you have a good marriage and a lot of people, they don't. A lot of married men are afraid to speak up about how they feel. Unappreciated in their marriage, they don't feel like their sacrifices have been noted. They feel as though they're taken for granted. And so when we talk about the notion of being real, a lot of men are afraid to be, quote, be real because they're afraid of the backlash that will come. As a result of them not being in the matrix and being part of this Mickey Mouse mentality of Happy Wife, happy life, ohh, she's such a pistol. Ohh. You know, type of stuff. Even though it's just disrespect. See you guys. This is where the whole notion of the perfect relationship is in the now is its total illusion. That oftentimes pulls a lot of men into back into this mentality of the the Mickey Mouse people, the people who are normies, the people who want you to just be part of the system, that doesn't really do anything for you but exploit you. For continual income, whether it be by the corporations or for tax revenue like the government does. And Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews and the religious people are not immune to this, either, by the way. They think that because they go to church, synagogue or temple, or to the mosque, that they're immune to this mentality. And I'm sorry, but you have a whole different mess to deal with. See on top of the fact that you have a lot of normies in society, you have even worse. Normies in the religious world who don't understand that. They can't live their reality out in the western world because the law always Trump's the holy book. And so even though you might make a commitment before God in the marriage during the marriage ceremony, God's not up there in divorce court. God's not there in marriage counseling, and I'll have people debate me on this. People that I respect, but I always comes back to one thing gentlemen. And no one's been able to to answer me. 

This. 

How do you renegotiate, renegotiate attraction? Because that's the fundamental issue in a marriage that's falling apart, or any relationship for that matter, that's falling apart is the attraction. The spark is gone. How do you reignite that? Answer. You don't because you can't. But let's return to this video. We're breaking this down to a science because I think we need to do this for people to understand that what they see is an illusion meant to draw you in like a. But the like the bait on a hook is meant to draw the fish to the. 

Hook be caught and showing up every single day for each other. Now let me tell you something real. When you find that person who sees your flaws and still chooses to stand by you, that's gold. That's something money can't. Buy. 

Notice he says that money can't buy it. Let me tell you, there's a lot of money can buy. And he also failed. Imagine how you keep it. He'll have that out. 

I love the poorly educated. 

He left that part out. See, here's the thing, guys. As much as you might call me a Scrooge or cynical, or, you might call me any name that you want because you want this to be true. You don't think I don't want? Don't want this to be true? Let me tell you, I wish this was true. You know why? Because then I'm making content about how this how Steve Harvey and all these dudes are right. Marriage is wonderful. Times are great. You know. I'd be making that content because that would be the truth, but it's not the truth. The statistics bear this out, experiences anecdotal and empirical bear this out. We look with our eyes instead of listening to this with our ears, and we see what is happening to our world, to our families, to our friends and. To us, and the reality is. Even if you find this for a short period of time, which is a big enough if as it is, the question then becomes, how do you retain this? What do you have to sacrifice to not even get a guarantee that you keep this? This is what they're leaving out that is keeping you as a guy in a position to where you're willing to give. Everything. Or something that is not in your control is not guaranteed and can be taken away from you at anytime, any place, anywhere. And this is the problem. Let's continue. 

It takes courage to love someone deeply, to be vulnerable, to share your dreams, your fears, your heart. But when you do, you create a bond that can weather any storm. 

Feel a lot of men. They think that until the storm hits. Maybe the first storm. Then they make it through second storm to Little Rock here, but they still make it through. And the third storm? Nope. They jump ship, not them. Usually the woman, the one that jumps ship because the man has a more of a a financial and tangible reason to not jump ship. And that statistics bear this out. But that, my friends, look, I understand this is going to be very hard to swallow. I understand that. This is not something we like to discuss, I understand. It. But you know what? Like any good medicine, tastes lousy. The truth is no different, and the truth is a any type of medicine. You can imagine. It is the medicine, the medicine to your mental health, the medicine to the future that you want to build for yourself. It is the ultimate. Medicine. The truth shall set you free. And this is unfortunately the truth. The truth is often something that you don't want to be true. The last thing that you ever hope is real is usually the closest thing you'll find to the truth. And trust me, you know, I I wanted to make this, you know, a little jokey, but I I don't know if I can do it. My friends, I don't know if I can do. I can know if I can do it today. No, no, no, no, no. I don't know how much more than I want to. 

Build some. Listen to. No, no, we'll finish it. We'll finish it. Why not? Thing that can't be shaken by lifes ups and downs. So let me finish with this. Hold on to each other tight and never let go. Fight for your love even when it's tough. 

Like. 

A lot of men do that. They they do it all the way to the bitter end and trust me, some of them are watching this video right now. Or listening to the show right now and they've been this guy that Steve Harvey's talking about, and it hasn't worked for them. Now you may be asking me, will Austin what we see, what women talk, we we see all the time when people talk about what women sacrifice their relationship, right, they sacrifice their youth, their fertility and one now which are real sacrifices, by the way. They are real sacrifices. Oh, what's not talked about as much as what men sacrifice. In their relationships. And So what we're going to do is we're going to look at that and answer that question right here and right now. Leave your thoughts, your comments about what you've sacrificed for your relationship, whether it was a marriage, a a dating relationship. You let me know. Let the other guys the comments know. Let's get into this. 

Men sacrifice their happiness and lot. For women in relation. 

Absolutely. Men in relationships. Men in marriages will choose that woman's happiness over their own. Sometimes for the pure fact, if they don't feel like dealing with their attitude when a woman doesn't get her way and she's hungry, she's gonna have the worst attitude in the world. And guess who's job it is to fix it. It's going to be the man's. Why? Because he did something when all he did was say. No, I don't want to go to target. No, I don't wanna go to the store. No, I don't wanna go grocery shopping. He just wants to chill on Sunday and watch football because what he has to go to work in the morning. This be the thing, ladies. Not everything is about you when you're in a relationship. A marriage. It's two people coming together to compromise and work together. Two people's happiness that you have to combine and work together. At the same time, it's not the woman's fault, fellas. This is why it's so important to find someone that understands your lifestyle and understand what makes you happy. So you don't have to fight over little arguments like that. 

So here's the thing. He's not wrong at the very end there, but the problem is a lot of dudes they're actively looking for that and they think they find it until they realize that. Ohh yeah, I really didn't the same thing with the argument of ohh. Just find the right one as if people are actively going out there and saying you know what, this woman's not the right one, but I'll I'll cover my commitment anyway. I don't hear anybody doing that, do you? I hear people saying they think they fell on the right one. It doesn't work out, it fails. Whether it's they get divorced or they just break up and then they're out and they're like, dude, I don't know what happened. I thought I did everything right. And they're like, ohh, you know, just get over it. You know, she wasn't the right one and guys like, well, I thought she was. I vetted. I worked really hard. I kept testing blah, blah. And before you know it. But who's point you're getting the one getting blamed. So my friends. He he brought up this idea of the men sacrificing their peace and I agree. I fully agree with them. So what we're going to do is we're going to see things from a different perspective. We are ready for this. We're going to see why men sacrifice their peace according to this guy right here, who I have not met, don't know. But he says a hat that says dad's strength. So I imagine he's probably more hen Peck. You might ask what is that impact? Is the guy who's he's been in a relationship and he has made enough sacrifices to the point where he has lost leverage in his relationship. Let's continue. Let's see. What he has to say? Uh, hold on. Let me turn it off and. 

You alright? Here we go. The time I think this is a lack of self-awareness for women, as they will say things like I want my man to be vulnerable and they think what they want is for their man to unload all the **** that he's going through. But here's the reality. A guy goes through a lot to take care of his family, to protect those he loves and to be a man if he unloads that on his woman, he's going to destroy her peace. He's gonna destroy the peace of the whole a man. Has to sacrifice his peace. So that he can provide peace for his family. A piece that he'll never know, and that's just the role of being a man that goes out his front door every day to take care of his family. If you start treating your wife or your woman like she's your mother, you want her to wipe your nose and want her to pick you up and tell you it's gonna be alright. She's gonna start acting like your mother and it's gonna destroy your relationship. As men, we have to be stoic. We have to hold those cards close to our chest. But the reality is it's really unhealthy for us as men to do that. That's why it's so important that you have a tribe around you that you have a like minded brothers with you that are gonna be in the boat. And the ores with you that are gonna be guys, you can trade war stories with guys that can tell you when you're being a ***** or telling you, hey, man, we got your back or we're there for you. That's where you take your **** and you unload it is with your tribe. You don't take it home. You don't go destroy the peace and the harmony of the home that you are fighting to protect by bringing all the **** that you're doing with them and loading it there. You take it to your homies, sitting around the proverbial fire. You share your **** with each other and you level up and get back out there and do it again the next. Day. That's the journey of being man. 

He's actually done his head and pegged as I was originally expecting, but here's the interesting part that he locked out that I don't know if he left out on purpose or he just didn't know. Here's a problem. He's right. He's 100% right with what he said. But here's the here's the interesting part. He left out a lot of women. They want their man to discuss this with them. They feel like they're left out. They feel like they're being emotionally neglected. If you don't discuss these things with them. And so even if you're doing all the right things, he just laid out, you could still be wrong. Long and she'll let you know as she thinks that you're wrong. See, that's what we're trying to discuss with you. You might think of an outside perspective. Your friend, your parents, your great. Whoever could be anybody. Some rando on the street. You think they have a great relationship, but you never know what's really going on because you don't know everything. And so it's important to not. Glamorize things you don't understand. It's important to not fall for illusions. People give you to have you think that they have a great relationship when in fact it could be very rocky, can have a lot of sacrifices. One party can think that everything's great. The other party thinks things couldn't be worse. And I think it's incredibly important for us as men to discuss the illusions around us to now be exploited by the illusions, by the the facades that could be surrounding us. And so when we talk about this idea of being a quote, real man, I hate that notion. By the way, I hate it. I think it undermines. A lot of people and for the worse, by the way. I also think that what he's saying is accurate and true, but I want you to be aware, even if you do this. That does not guarantee you will win. It guarantees you that you'll have men who respect you. It will guarantee you that you're a good, that good example to your kids, but it will not guarantee a good relationship with your wife. Be aware of this and This is why I don't encourage marriage, not because it's impossible. Or to work per say, but because there are a lot of incentives for the wife to end the relationship, there are a lot of cultural icons and influences. That are actively trying to make it so that if you as a man don't live up to some standard, that's impossible. That that's an excuse to leave you. We need to be aware. Of this stuff. My friends, I would appreciate it if you shared your experience. If you have experience with this below, whether it's your dating relationship and you. You actively kind of put up a facade to your friends, your family, about something that you realized was like you thought they thought your relationship was great, but you knew was falling apart, but you didn't want them to know that. Or maybe you've been in a marriage and you thought everything was great. Then you got blindsided by something or it fell apart and you didn't understand why until much later when you found out the truth and it broke. Let me know I'd I'd be curious to hear it. I think a lot of men would like to hear that they are not alone with going through this process, going through the unfortunate realization that a lot of what we've been told is just a facade, a fantasy, and something that's not rooted in reality, but something that is rooted in there is that our fantasy. And are mixed in with our human needs. So my friends in the mean time, I encourage you to continue to think for yourself, ask yourself hard questions about whether what what you're seeing is accurate, or whether what you're seeing is just something that's meant to feed you something that benefits somebody other than you and my friends. This time. They carry yourselves. I'm out of here. Peace.