Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the sheep Get Sheared podcast. I'm your host, Austin Creed. My friends, they're gonna ask a very important and pregnant question that is this. Does marriage set men back, or more accurately? What do men get from marriage and? How has it changed? My friends, let's be really honest with ourselves. We hear all across, whether it's the mainstream alphabet channels, whether it's from religious experts and financial experts and whatnot, that marriage is beneficial. We need it, and men live longer, supposedly because of marriage. Women are supposedly oppressed in marriage and how? How do? How does marriage benefit women? Is what a lot of people say. I want to turn that on. Its head and say. Does marriage set men back now? Some of you I know have been married. Either you're getting divorced. You are married, or you are interested in getting married. And so I think this is a very important question. My friends, if you want to Share your story throughout this show as we go through the clips, we have conversations. We break things down. I invite you to do that because at the end of the day. Let's. Let's be honest, a lot of us have very strong opinions. We feel a lot of pain in this regard, and no one really cares about us. Most people outside of this small section of the Internet. They they don't talk to their friends about their their divorce. They don't talk to their parents, they don't talk to their coworkers. They don't talk to their pastor. They don't talk to their therapist. Maybe a little bit. But that people don't talk about their divorce from the male perspective all that much, because most people, they don't care, they don't wanna hear it. They're convinced you're the bad guy. Statistically, they've they've made their mind up. They don't care. They just say, ohh, just pay the money and move on. Well, my friends, we need to talk about marriage, and we need to talk about how it sets men back if it does at all. Some people would argue it does. So we're gonna break this all down and I again invite you to to share your thoughts, your opinions, your experiences. Because this is a very important question because we as men, we naturally have a desire to build communities. We have a desire to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. And of course we have physical needs. That used to be met through the bonds of marriage, but today. Why? You why would you buy the cow when you can get the milk for cheap? Not for free. I don't believe in getting things for free. The 40 laws of power state that free is a fraud. So I don't believe in this whole Pookie and Ray. Ray, get it for free. They get it on fire sale, but they don't get it for free. Because everybody pays, you get to pay with your time, attention, money, your sanity. Sometimes your future is at stake. You pay with something. So my friends, without further ado, let's jump into the videos I have prepared for today's show. So let's when we get into the conversation of how does marriage set men back, if at all? Usually people we're going to jump to the money conversation. 

Let's talk about what to do if one person in a marriage makes more money than the other person. I love this question from Jenny. Oh, Jenny, she goes. How does this work if one person makes more than the other? And are you still taking out equal amounts of fun money? 

Physically, men make more than women. Not because of this gender pay gap that everybody likes to talk about that's been outlawed since 1960s. This is not professional legal advice by any means, but I will tell you ladies, if you are working a job and you think that this gender pay gap exists and that your boss is screwing you out of money, this is not legal advice. And I would encourage you, as someone who has studied law in my undergrad. Please go get a lawyer. And Sue for the money that you rightfully deserve if you think this is happening to you. Because it's illegal out of the way. But if you don't do that and then you continue to talk about the gender pay gap, I know you're a liar. 

So my answer to this is this works if you view your marriage as a complete merger. If you see your marriage as two people truly becoming one, one person, one team working towards the same goal, then you will view your marriage as one where now not only are you combined in a covenant of marriage, but your. Your minds are merged. Your heart, your soul, your dreams, your desires, your wishes are now merged together with the other person. 

I've talked about this on the show before, but that's what marriage is. When you look at marriage from the government's perspective. And I was in the military and I've worked a little bit with the government, OK, the government sees marriage as a corporate merger between two businesses, 2 Social Security numbers merging together in a corporate merger. That is why divorce is messy, because now you are dissolving those two. This this corporate entity into two separate but supposedly equal parts. Even if one company is worth $100 million and the other ones worth 50 now, they're both worth 75. You see how. That. Works. That is how the marriage works. Because marriage is seen as a business merger, there is no love in in this business arrangement. From the government's perspective. We put love on it because we are human beings and we have natural need to be loved and admired and everything else. At least that's what we're told and what's pushed in modern media. But when you break it all down, she's 100% right. This is what marriage is. It is a corporate merger between two businesses, IE the Social Security number you're given at birth. If you are a United States citizen, that is what you are given. Thus, that is what marriage is now. Now she's going to bringing in the merger of your soul and your Spirit and your desires and your physical. That's all well and good, but let's not leave out the part where we're talking about men, right. And what we gain or lose in marriage. This is a very important point that a lot of men, especially young guys like myself, who are in their mental they're in their early to mid 20s and in their teens, they don't know this. And I understand this is a business. Move this is not based off of your peeing or your pleasure or romance. No, no, that is not what marriage is. You look at all the people going back a long ways. In most western societies, or even eastern societies at the noble. Levels the royal levels, merchant levels. They got married for business. 

This. 

Diplomatic. In regional reasons, they didn't get married because they loved each other. That is an invention from Shakespeare, and the poets and the writers and the and the philosophers. That is not something that actually happened all that much. It was based off of hey. This is what I have to offer. This is what I have to offer. Let's merge. Let's make this happen. Let's build an ally. 

Once. 

And then they did that through love, not war. That was how it was done. But today the average person thinks that love is the necessity for marriage, when historically that has been absolutely false. In fact, you look at the story of Romeo and Juliet that was not supposed to be a romantic story. It was a romantic tragedy. He wrote it because you was laughing at the morons who were so young. All they cared about was love. He was laughing at them. And anyways, let's, let's not lose the forest for the trees. 

If you want to be parents one day, then you won't merge your DNA in your genetics to have kids and also you will merge your money. So this is having a viewpoint of regardless of who makes more than the other person. You guys still view yourselves as equal. 

Comes in. I've mentioned this multiple times. I hate the word partner. And I'll tell you why. Because it is a stealth word. That word stems from a used to be subculture in the society that has now gone mainstream and you know them as the LGBTQ community. 

Hmm. 

That is what they used to call. For example, if you were gay back in the day, even today, I know men who are gay and I respect them and I know them. I still talk to them to this day. They have partners. Back in the day 10 years ago, even you did not call your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your wife or your husband your partner. They were your spouse or your husband or your wife. Now we have this whole idea of partnership and a business. A partnership means you own equal shares, which is factually incorrect. Men are supposed to be leaders and women are supposed to be followers. That is the only way a relationship works. Unless you are the .001% of people who are ***** and they let you know you, you let your wife run your show and you're the the stay at home husband or stay at home dad. Your your marriage is already on life support, by my estimation. But again, gentlemen, this is this is where stuff gets kind of put in there and you miss it. When we break these videos down, I know it might seem like I'm being too analytical. I'm going too deep into it. No, I want you to understand that this permeates society. This is why. So many of us, we don't know. Ohh. My goodness. My relationship fell apart. How did it happen? Because your wife was probably watching. Or your girlfriend or whoever was watching content like this. They first said. Ohh, we're partners. We're equals and you're like, wait a minute, are we equals? I'm supposed to be the leader. You can't be the leader. If I'm the leader, there is an alpha in every single pack or flock or anything in nature. There is the leader and then there is the rest. OK, there is a hierarchy. But now we want to get rid of the hierarchy because apparently everybody's equal, regardless of whether they bring stuff of equal tangible value. And even if you do. You need somebody to make the final end decision, even in a so-called democracy, which is arguable that we have in this country we have the President who makes decisions for the entire executive branch of government. He's supposed to make fast and quick decisions that a group could not make, which is why in a relationship the man is supposed to make those choices. Because they don't have time for a pow wow, they don't have time for a a convening of the council. Sometimes the decision has to be made in the in the heat of the moment, and he needs to make that choice. But when you have a partnership in the business, you can't do that, which is why. The women lose respect for the men who fall for this. This is a **** test. Don't fall for. 

It. 

And as leaders in the marriage Yahoo Finance just released a research paper where their findings were that having a shared bank account is actually good for couples. One of the researchers said something interesting in the paper and in the article where she said, does having a joint checking account make a couple happier or are happy? Couples just getting joint checking accounts. 

Please let these guys know if I am mistaken with what I'm about to say. I know guys who have gotten divorced in the middle when I was in the military, I knew guys who got divorced, they got divorced, they had a joint and checking account and joint savings account when they got divorced, he was deployed. She cheated on him when he was deployed and they got a divorce. OK, he went to get the money out of that checking account because he put the majority of the money in that account because she was a stay at home mom. Guess what happened? He tried to do that. The court stopped him. The court stopped him because he could not do that because it was in both of their names. She got at least 50% of what was in that bank account, even though she did not put in 50%. OK. So just be aware of this gentleman, it is not sending you up for success. It is sending you back if things go South and again if you are some a man who's been divorced or you're going through a divorce, please let these guys know. 

Because what they found is that there is more transparency, there's more trust, there's more of a communal standpoint where you guys are working together as a team. Team and they found that the couples monitoring checking accounts are actually happier afterwards. Final answer to how does this work? It works if in your marriage you view yourself as equals as unified and as leaders. As a team working together for all things, including your money. 

Here I'm on the site get heading packed right here. Just so you know, this is what women try to do. They try to help pack you now. I don't blame women for doing this. This is how they naturally operate. So I'm not telling you to be resent women for this because you shouldn't. Just understand how it works. My my favorite fairy tales is beauty and the beast. The reason why I love old school fairy tales is because they're like a sopian fables. They sopian fable. And if those of you who don't know when Aesop fable is aesopian, fables or fables that. Or ended up being used by the communists in the 1910s and 20s in the So what would become the Soviet Union? They are stories from the past using symbols to infer meanings. And values in other words, stuff like the lion and the mouse, the the spider and the crow. Whatever. When you look at the beauty and the beast, the whole reason that the beauty was attracted to the beast was because he was a beast to be tamed. There's an old adage in every relationship that states that women go into the relationship. Hoping that the man changes, men go into the relationship hoping their woman never changes and inevitably they are both left. They are both left wanting more and both are unfortunately disappointed. So when we get to this idea of equal partnership caring POW wows, Council convening, we're both leaders. This is a short test. This is a way for them to test you to see if you are a leader or a subservient man. They can wrap around their finger and then get bored with just so you know this is what you put up with in a relationship. I don't care if it's a girlfriend, a wife, a ***** ****, it don't matter. It's the same thing. It always happens. This is the stuff. We're up with, but now let's go towards a little bit of the religious angle because men are called to make sacrifices in their relationships. 

Some of us might be like that's right, you know, they're supposed to follow us. OK, you need to understand. She's called the submission. You are called to sacrifice. You're called to lay down your life. I want you to think about Christ do. You wear a crown. Marriage. Yes. It's a crown of Thorn. Lay our life. Down in its unselfish promotion of of, of life, she ends up responding to that leadership. Submission comes in response to sacrifice, think about Christ and the church y'all every one of us understand this. If you're a believer, because that's what it means to be a gospel centered Christian. That's why we keep preaching the gospel. Over and over and over. And we are blown away over God's love for us that he would send Christ to literally die for us. Then all of a sudden we see now we must be some kind of valuable in his eyes. And when I feel that word. Coming from him, laying his life down now I want to follow him and husbands. That's the model. She is worth your sacrifice. 

Men are naturally wanting to make the sacrifice. I have yet to meet a man who? It marries a woman or is serious about a woman and he does not want to sacrifice for her. He's not willing to give his life for her. He's not willing to sacrifice to give her the best life that he can. What I end up seeing more often, and I understand this is anecdotal, so take it. With a grain of salt. The more I see is men breaking their backs to give women the life that they really the that they want to give them the best they can and the women taking it for granted, not appreciating it. And basically saying I want more. It's never enough. You raise the bar. The bar is now here. You raise the bar again. The bar is now here. Anything that falls below this bar, you are now a disappointment. You are now not doing your job. Now. He feels the need now. She's not to do her job. And now she can go and she can go and and and and slack off because you're not doing in her eyes. What you're supposed to do, and of course. The so-called Equal partnership is nowhere to be found when it comes to her side of the argument. Her side of the argument. No, no, no obligation. You're not entitled to her body not entitled to her housework, not entitled to anything on your end. You are. She's entitled to half your stuff to the kids, to half of what? What? What? What comes later? Depending on how your divorce goes and what the judge says and their half of the lawyers fees. Potentially. If the if for a lawyer is really good and yours isn't. My friends, this is the real reality we're dealing with right now. My friends, we need to understand that sacrifice is important. Yes, but we shouldn't just sacrifice because we're men. We should sacrifice for people who deserve it, who have earned it not deserve it, but who have earned it. From. Us we sacrifice for people who have earned it. We shouldn't just sacrifice for everybody, because then there's nothing left for us. One of my favorite quotes from the richest man in Babylon, which is a great book. Is you always pay yourself first? So that you can. Then it's like when a farmer goes and he collects the crops, he takes a certain amount of the. Crop. And he plant and he takes those seeds and he plants it. He takes part of the harvest and he. Uses that seed the best of it for the next year's harvest, in the same way you should take a little bit of money every single month and save it. Then you can then parlay it into a new business venture, a new investment or a new side hustle to give you even more money. You see how that works. But the problem is a lot of men will give and give and give to people. Who are not gonna really do anything with the money even in their lives, even their kids, but then they won't leave it for themselves to then do something with it. And that is the problem. When we talk about men and is marriage sending them back? This is what we're talking about. I'm a financial standpoint. Because a lot of men are entire. Our entire value as a man by society, whether it be religious society, secular society, is telling us that to be a good man means we give our soul every day to everybody, and we leave next to nothing for ourselves. That is what it means to be a good man in today's day and age, unfortunately. And if you want to give anything to yourself, you're seen as tall. Sick. Meme. Arrogant. Self-centered selfish. You're not seen as a quote a good man because you're not good for everybody else. You're good for yourself. But that's not good for to them. That's not good, but if you're a woman, ohh you put yourself first. That's great. You take care of yourself. That's good. See how backwards it is. Now again, this is not supposed to make you feel angry. Towards. Anybody. It's just meant to open your eyes of what you. Are giving up. And This is why, in my opinion, I know I'm going to go against a lot of people who are religious and who love my show. I don't think that getting married to say to stay quote sexually pure, that's not enough for me. I don't think it's enough. Because now you're holding me hostage by something that I didn't ask to be born with. You might say, well, Austin, why are you even going here? Ohh, I'll go here. I didn't ask to be born a man. I'm not mad. It is what it is. But now, because of that, you're now going to hold my orgasm hostage against me in other. Words. I only get to do it when you tell me I only get to do it because other when other when my wife wants it from me. It's so cold, 1-2 becoming one flesh one only seems to matter, but in this one flesh who's not me wants it. You see how that works? Gentlemen, This is why I tell you on the show and part of the biblical bachelor lifestyle is understanding that you are not a prisoner to your sexuality. And I don't think that you should be. Because then you're limiting yourself and I don't believe in putting limits on yourself like that. Because then you're letting other people exploit you this limitation. 

Bro. 

Speaking of exploitation. Let's go to this video. I think a lot of you who are married can relate to this or have been married or even have a girlfriend you can relate to this. 

Hey, guys. I'll be back. There's something I gotta do. Ohh gosh. She just had, like, these weird vibes. I just. 

Let's go back. Let's do it again. 

Hey, guys. I'll be back. There's something I gotta do. 

Ohh. 

My gosh. She just had, like, these weird vibes. I just. Alright, I'm back. 

And as someone who's now has friends who are getting married, and I see this from that side, I know people who are older, who have gotten divorced, and I've seen that side. I've seen the I've been the third party and I've seen the outside and I've seen. How this works? This is why I don't have a desire to get married. I have other focuses in my life, other things I want to do. Maybe you share that desire, maybe you don't. That's OK. I just want you to realize. That there is a dream that is sold to you and then there is the harsh reality that we actually face and we're actually going through. And when you are faced with the reality, the dream becomes a little bit more for shown for what it is, which is a fantasy, not a reality. And. The problem it all comes down to is men are willing to do pretty much everything for their woman, from their wife for their kids. But when that person can just check out at any time for any reason. It cheapens all that sacrifice. You're willing to make. Ask the men who have been married in this chat on this channel. They will tell you. 

Right. 

What they've been through, they told me some of the stories I don't want to. I don't want to put words in their mouth. I don't want to tell their story for them. But they've told me what they've gone. Through. On this show, and I'm not here to tell you. If you want to get married, do that. I'm not trying to tell you. Ohh. Just be miserable and be if you would need to be happy to be married, go and do that. Yeah. What I'm telling you is there are other options out here. There are other ways for you to get that life that you want cause this is your life. Not someone else's. Stop letting other people put limitations on you and you put them on yourself and you wear it. Stop it. You don't need to be set back in marriage. Now, are there sometimes where it can be beneficial? Yes. Problem is in the Western countries, it's not probable. It's not an expectation and the possibility is going down and down and down and down to the point where I cannot in good faith tell you to take that chance. My friends, please share your thoughts, your comments, your concerns and everything. I would love to hear. It would help a lot of men on this channel. No, they're not alone to know that you are there with them. I look forward to hearing about it. Take care of yourselves. Think for yourself. Don't just take anything at face value. Really. Break it all down. That's what I encourage you to do. Take care of yourselves. I'm out. Peace.