See, they don't. They want men to leave when it comes to taking accountability and and suffering the backlash for the decisions. But then they want to have a say in the decision is just not to say in the accountability that comes with it. That's the problem. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Sheep Get Sheared Podcast. I'm your host, Austin Creed. My friends you know, today we're going to be reviewing a video, one that was requested by one of the subscribers to the channel. He wanted to shout out to Aiden. He was his ID. Yeah. And I think was a great idea. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna be looking at a video from a guy named Matt Chandler. I believe he's a pastor from the background. I've done and looking this man up before doing the show, he's one of the guys I talk about who seems to want to do good, but he ends up coming off as weak. And and a lot of the things he says and unfortunately. Much like the missionaries in Hawaii, he came to do good and has done very well indeed. From the looks of it, and we need to really have a frank conversation. And So what we're gonna do is we're gonna explore this video that he put out. It's a little older. It's from 2016. So it's not super. It wasn't like yesterday, but I believe it to still be relevant. I haven't seen this whole video because I think it's like 30 minutes long. And I wanted to. Have a raw reaction to it. So what we're going to do is we're going to dive into this Q&A with his wife on stage with him, and they're going to talk about relationships. Now I want to be upfront and clear that I don't pretend to know everything. OK, I'm going to say this from a more biblical bachelor perspective. And for those of you who don't know what that is or overhaul book on what it means and what it is. And so it'd be hard for me to wrap it up in a single sentence. But if I could, it'd be about. Being rooted in reality and not blinded by ideology, we don't live in a society that really allows for a lot of the ideal. The idealism you might hear in your church or the idealism you hear from people who maybe are conservative politically. We're going to talk about the religion and the politics kind of coming together in a future video that I have. Planned, but I don't want to get sidetracked on that today. So what we're going to do right now. Is without further ado, we're going to hop into his video he put out. And we're going to break this down piece by piece and we're going to really look at how. From what I've a little bit I have seen they tend. To. Shift he tends to shift the blame and passes the blame a lot of bad behavior that women have to the men and I don't think that. I think that's disingenuous. I think people need to take accountability for the bad decisions they make. Whether I don't care who they are, I don't care what background they come from. People need to take accountability for their own problems. And we're gonna dive in, and we're gonna really break this down. So I don't know if I'm gonna get through the whole 30 minutes of this, but what I will say is, sit back and relax. Please leave your comments. Please let me know whether you agree. Disagree what your thoughts are because at the end of the day, everybody has a different experience and everybody has a different value that could be added to this conversation. That's extremely important so. Without further ado, enough. Let's talk. Let's get down to business. Let's see what he's got to say. 

Hey, would you guys welcome my bride, Lauren? Hey, baby. Do you want me to answer first so you can think or do you want? 

It depends on the question, I guess. 

OK. So Lauren would say that I'm a fast processor, which means I process information really quickly and she would say that she's not as fast, so sometimes she wants me to answer first. 

But not always. OK, I'm going to stop him right there before they get into the meat and potatoes of the conversation. #1, let's look at the optics of the situation. OK. He's sitting on stage. With. His wife? He doesn't seem to be leading. Very much. Does anybody else pick up on that? You seems to be in. One of these. What one of these, what people might call equal partnership relationship? He's asking her if she wants to lead. He doesn't seem like he's taking charge of the situation and saying, hey, you know, I'm going to answer first. You can answer second or you can give your perspective 1st and I'll give a second. He's not telling her what to do. He's not. He is not leading the interaction. So he's not leading the the conversation and it leads to this awkward tension that I can already sense in this video. Let me know if you sense anything different, but that's immediately what? Jumps out to me. 

True, I feel like my brain goes through all these like different. 

OK. 

Trails and I needed to come back together so I need time, OK? 

You you just let me know. OK? So do we want to look at the they're going to put them behind us. How to ask a girl out? 

Ohh my, we're having this conversation. Ohh my goodness. How to ask a girl out? What is this like? Who wrote this question? When is this 13 years old? What is this middle school? What's going on here? 

Well, that's pretty basic. I like starting there. You want to take this one. 

I think one I think be direct without being. I know with I don't know without being creepy. I mean she at least needs to know who you are and know your. 

Like how direct. You mean Friday 7? 

OK, gentlemen, let's be really clear for one second. When it comes to asking a girl out, first of all, don't ask women about that, because I guarantee you they're not going to give you what actually works. They're gonna give you and make them sound. You know what? What makes them sound the best? Because that's just how women who are like that. It's like asking a fish if you're trying to be a fisherman, like asking the fish how best to get caught. No, I'm not trying to dehumanize anybody. I'm just telling you that that's the equivalent of what we're talking about here. Run out the rip. You're already framing this badly because immediately when you say, how do I ask a girl out first of all? If you're having to do that, that puts you in the chasing position and that gives her the power over you. And how it starts is usually how it is. So when we look at this optic immediately. We're coming at this from a perception of weakness. We're coming at this from a not a masculine perception, not a masculine perspective, and this is immediately going to lead the problems, but let's. See what she says. Because maybe she'll give us some actual good information. 

I mean that could be a little weird. I don't know you did this. 

I did do it just once. 

Ohh, that was really creepy, bro. Don't ever do that ever again. 

The Ohh sorry wow. 

I have something on Andrea. 

I know the so there are and that's why you know Q&A's can get difficult because I don't know what's all if this is someone you know and someone that's kind of been in your crowd and they know who you are and you've kind of picked up on some vibes that this might be possible. Then you just ask them out. 

Awkward. OK, first of all, he's wrong. I'm sorry, I know you wanna believe he's right on this. He's wrong. And let me tell you why women will let women will let it be known if they're attracted to you as a man, you will get choosing signals. People call them choosing signals. You could just say, for example, John, have you ever been in a friend group where you can tell that one girl likes a certain guy? Is it? It's extremely bloody obvious you ever seen that. For yeah, that's what we're talking about. We're not talking like you was a goofy guy going up to some chick and being like, oh, you know, I couldn't like you. You want to go out? No, that's stupid. And that's a waste of your time. OK, immediately. We're framing this completely wrong. We're making the man subservient and you're chasing women. Chasing women is a waste of your time when you're a younger guy, let me tell you. Because at the end of the day, if you were that guy, you wouldn't have to do this chasing you wouldn't have to do this. She'd come up to you and ask you tell you that she likes you and that she wants to hang out with you. She would do that if she actually liked you. I know a lot of you don't want to believe that, but that's the truth. How do I know that? Because I've experienced. Missed it? I've experienced both sides. I've been that goofy guy who asked the girl out and get rejected. I've also been that guy where a girl comes up to me, makes conversation with me, asks for my number, and does all these things. So I've seen both sides of the spectrum. OK. Now you can. You can choose to believe that I'm making it up if you want, and then I'm just some lonely, you know, in self. You want to believe that, go right ahead. But I'm telling you, from personal experience, I've seen both sides of this argument. So when he says Ohh, just just go for it. You know, women know immediately whether they're attracted to you or whether they're going to make you an orbiter and someone who is kind of like on the back burner. If she can't get the guy, she. The ones that's just the way it works. What else we got to? 

Say here and and you just make it clear what you're. Doing hey, will you go? To dinner with me, I'm thinking this is a date. 

Gentlemen, if you're taking women out on dates to dinner in 2024, you're losing. I'll tell you that right now. I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you it's different. It's not. Because usually attracted to you, you don't have to do any of that stuff just so you know. 

So if you remember what we talked about, the the woman that was at our house this morning, she said no. No. He asked me on a date. Like he he said it's a date. He didn't want to hang out or have a cup of coffee. We've already done that. He said I want to take you on. A date. And so you should try that. It's a risky thing and an awesome thing. And if she says no, the Lord has something better for you. 

Ohh, is that what we're calling it? Ohk. OK, immediately. He's not coming out this from a masculine perspective. He's talking like ohh. You need to chase the women and the women will reward you if you're a good man. No, no, no, no, no. We ain't gonna go for any of that. That's all. That's all lies. 

Is that fair? OK. 

Stop. Stop looking to her for validation on your points. Dude, you're either right or you're not right. Stop looking at her. Like, am I, right, honey? They do a good job. This is some henpecked husband behavior. 

Can you refocus a relationship and make it good? And God glorifying after physical boundaries have already been crossed. 

Ohh. In other words, can I actually lock down Chad after I've already given up the intimacy? That's what that question actually means. Can I make Chad a good Christian guy who's not a Christian guy, but I'm attracted to him? Can I? Missionary date? In other words, that's what this question. Actually means. See you see, I have to translate these. This is not an A genuine. This is not a in good faith question. This is a disguised question. That is not actually telling you what is being said, and I can guarantee you right now I'm not seeing this yet, but I can guarantee you that this guy right here, not Chandler. I don't know him personally. Maybe he's a good. Yeah, but I'm going to tell you from what he said so far, I can guarantee you he's going to go immediately and he's going to say, oh, well, God, this and and if you do the right thing, this and that and the other now he's not going to tell you, OK, this is a stealth question for can I lock down Chad even though he's not Christian? Missionary date. Chad in other words. That's what this question actually is. Let's see what he says. 

Do you want this one? Do you want me? 

I like to you. 

He tries to pin the question off to his wife, dude. She ain't gonna answer this question because she knows she's gonna. 

Lose ohk. OK, I didn't know if you looked at me because you had it or you. Look. 

No. She looked at you to see how you were going to respond to that question and whether you're going to be a good guy or a knowledgeable guy can just. Continue. 

OK, of course it is. Of course it is, but I'll pretend that it's easy. 

Wait, what? 

So I I don't wanna ever. You kind. Put something out there. You know, the easy thing is, well, absolutely. You know, Grace of God covers everything. I think you've opened Pandora's box and it's going to be extremely difficult. And so therefore. 

What a very diplomatic way of saying I've had a lot of sex with Chad and like, come on, guys, I'm sorry. I wish I could see here and tell you that this, that this isn't what they're talking about, but it is. I can guarantee you a guy is not asking this question. This is not a guy question. See, he's falling for all of the bait here. And this is not good. We're 2 1/2 minutes in and I almost I've had to breakdown in two. And 1/2. Minutes. This is not good. This is he's shifting the blame. He's making it seem like the guys are the issue. I don't know. I know you're probably not. You're going to disagree with me on that, but that's the way he's phrasing it. That's the way he's framing. 

Yes. 

Or you're probably going to have to put some things in place for your own good that other people are going to probably think. 

Are crazy. Be more cryptic dude. 

And and so I think you you start now, you're going out in groups and man, you're you're having people pick you up and not driving y'all's cars. So I mean, you're just figuring out how to not be alone. Because where you've always already been will be wooing you and you're going to have to fight the good fight now. Going. No, no, no. I want to know this person's soul. Not just have their body. 

I'm sorry, Sir, but that's kind of how men operate. I know you're so head and packed that you you probably don't remember what it's like to feel this way. But I will tell you that this is exactly why men are leaving the church. Because they see this. And instead of saying, hey, guys, the reason why we shouldn't do this is because of XY and Z reason. Now all he's saying is. Hey, you. Yes, you dirty man who wants sex. You're a problem. He's framing it as if it's only the dudes who are the problem, when in fact women gain most of their power through leveraging this libido against you. Just so you know, in case you were unaware. And this is incentivized by the Christian Church and has helps women repackage themselves at 30 and 35, come into your church, pretend like they're a paragon of virtue when they are not sowing. Just so we're clear. I'm not pretending like men are always good, right? We're not always right. But the way he's framing this is making it seem like these dirty guys. These dirty dogs are out here trying to get things from women. Meanwhile, the women are out here trying to be good and holy, my friend, it's the opposite, actually. Just so we're clear, it's the. 

That's it. 

And that's just a hard thing to do once this has been broken. But it's not impossible. I I think if this is a secret, that's a huge problem. So if you've got on your smiley Christian face and you know you guys are holding hands and just Jesus loves purity and no one knows you've crossed these boundaries, then that's a matter of confession to those who can hold you accountable. You will, I think even with the kind of boundaries we're talking about. 

Look at how look at the wife and this look how like she look, how she looking, she looking, looking evicted right now look at this face. Dude. This I pick up on these things, man. This is this is kind of wild. 

Building unless you pull in people who know this has happened and can walk in accountability with you, I mean I I just don't know that you got much of A fighting chance. Darkness grows in the dark. 

Wow, how profound. 

And I think confess it to people that you know will hold you accountable, because I think a lot of times, if you confess it to someone, that probably is struggling in the same way in their relationship, then you kind of get to be like, oh, it's OK. But to confess it to someone that maybe a married couple or a men. Some people that are mentors in your life confess it to them so that they can hold you accountable, that they can check in with you and it's not kind of. Going to just encourage you to keep it in the dark, if that makes sense. 

No, it didn't make a lot of sense, but here's what I here's what I heard y'all want to know what I heard, and you might disagree with me. On. This this is what I heard. In other words. Yeah, tell people who may or may not hold you accountable because at the end of the day, women will protect other women. Women are better at this than men. We as men are very. Competitive. Against other men, women. Are competitive against other women on the down low, but but overtly they're supportive and they're going to defend women against men or against what they perceive to be a threat against them. So we'll we'll leave that where it is, but that that's kind. Of what I just heard. 

And then. Also, I would I would it's good that you're wanting to change things and I would imagine that you want to change things because hopefully you want possibly to marry that person. And so I would also I warn you that I think the lie that we can start telling ourselves is, well, we're going to get married anyway so. It'll be OK. 

Ohh did you catch that? Did you catch? That. Gentlemen, this is the kind of stuff that women tell themselves when they're sleeping with Chad or they're sleeping when the guy they're attracted to is they think, ohh. I'm gonna lock this guy down. I'm gonna submit to this man. So it's not an issue. And of course it doesn't work out. I try it with the next guy, it doesn't workout. Try it with the next guy. It doesn't work out and then eventually they they're 10/20/50 hundred in and you think I might be exaggerating that I'm actually not. I'm sorry to tell you I am not exaggerating on that. You might think that I'm exaggerating on that until you realize. How easy it is for them to get around, it's extremely easy. Now does it mean everyone's going to do it? No. Does that mean everyone has the capacity to do that? Yes, which is exactly why I don't believe that she's only telling you parts of the truth. She's being they're being both of them, not just her. Both of them are being very. They're talking in code. They're not talking in just plain terms. They're being very kind of all over the place on this. And I'm not liking it. They're not giving you straight up answers. They're lacing it with Christian knees. They're lacing it with abstract language. And that's leading to a huge problem. So let's continue. Let's see how much more I can stomach of this. This is long, man. This is. We're only about 5 minutes in, and this is 30 minutes long. Hold on a second. Let's see. Let me hold on a second. I wanna. I wanna. Ohh they have it on the description. Ohh boy. OK, let's see. Ohh this should. Ohh, this should be a gold mine. Let's look at this question. 

A boy or girl that is not. A Christian. Start OK. So I think this is ultimately a question of what is your ultimate goal or treasure. I I think honestly that's how you answer this question. If your ultimate goal in in life is to please the Lord. And to serve. The Lord then, then I think this is an easy question. Absolutely not, because it would be impossible to do. If we've been called in companionship to partner with one another, then we're pulling in two different directions. So if one saying, hey, this house is going to serve the Lord and we're going to live our lives in such a way we're giving money here and we're ordering our lives like this. And here's the way we're going to pursue holiness and the other person doesn't recognize any of that as normative or or it is alien and strange. 

My bad guys. 

Then I don't. I don't know how you do it now, if that's not how you see the goal of relationships to play itself out, then then I can see how you can justify this. And that's why I said when I was teaching that. Our our day and age wants to put hyper emphasis on romance and on sex, but the Bible puts all the emphasis on companionship and partnering with. 

Well, that's a good, important point. Ohh, hold on a second. He was cooking for a second, but then then he took a, then he took a left turn. He was right when it counting out the romance. But now he's pivoting into companionship and partnership. First of all, partnership. OK, that is not a Christian concept. Just so we're clear. That stems from the other side of the tracks, so to speak. That is not from the Bible, so we're clear. But he was looking for a second with the romance. That's 100% true, and now he's pivoting. See, here's a problem with a lot of passers like this, they'll, they'll hit the nail on the head, and then you'll want him to continue, and then they'll pivot and they'll go completely. In the opposite. Direction. And you're like oh. Bro, you almost had it. You almost got me. And then you pivoted to the left and now now I'm not listening anymore. 

Sex as a gift for intimacy and romance. So you've got to get that in the right. Order, I think to to flourish. And so the question gets asked often because I think that people don't understand that the purpose of relationships is really a partnership for the gospel. So Lauren and I have been put together by. 

No. Now, it's not entirely accurate, just so we're clear, but continue. 

The Lord knit together as one the Bible call US1 flesh for the purpose of making much of the name and renown of Jesus Christ in our ministry. Played together at the village church and the raising of children in those people that we have in our home to talk about Jesus with the people we walk alongside who aren't Christians yet, but we have them at our dinner table and we do life with them hoping that they'll become that. That's what this is, what we have in common and. 

See, he's talking as if this is what a lot of people do, and the problem is it's not. Unfortunately, this is not the norm and a lot of men want this, but a lot of them can't actually find it because the women are not interested in that overwhelmingly. See they they became 1 flesh with Chad, Tyrone and Pookie. But now they want you to be like them, but only the best parts. And we we talked about this multiple times and this is nothing new. Problem is now. He's framing this as if this is the norm and this is what people should expect. It's not. I'm sorry, it's not in the modern market. This is one of the problems with these henpecked husbands is they checked out of the dating marketplace 10 years ago, 20 years ago. And they have no idea what it's like out here in the streets now. None, zero. And instead what they give you is really bad advice. On top of it being very emasculated and then we end up having the conversation like this and then it ends up getting reviewed by a guy like me who's in these streets, who knows more about this than he does. And we end up having this conversation. 

And I love it. It it to watch Lauren, Minister to women and watch Lauren, Minister to others is one of the sexier things imaginable because we're partnering one another in this. 

Dude, you're not her partner. You are the leader. See, this is the problem with Lee's henpecked husbands. And This is why I got to call this out. You are the leader, the head. She is your wife. You are not partners. Partners in equals 5050. This is not a 5050. You are in charge. One of you is in charge. Either she is or you are. There is no ohh, we're equal and we have equal authority. No. First of all, it's unbiblical. Second, that's just not. How it works? Everyone knows who knows about dating and about marriage, that every relationship is a power dynamic. One person is in charge, the other person is following. That person doesn't make it toxic inherently, but that's how it works. One person's in charge. Either you're the parent and the you're leading the child, or the child's leading. You or your husband and the wife, or the wife's leading you, or you're leading her period. There is no one who's like, OK, we're equal here and equal here because there's nobody calling the shots and then it's a round table and we're holding a democracy. This is not a democracy. See. This is not time for democracy. This is a time for decision making. The problem is we end up with guys like this who give this kind of advice to men who, on top of this being an equal partnership, they don't take equal to. Blame. All the man gets all the blame, but apparently we're equal when making decisions. You see how that's passing the blame off on the men? Acquitting the women of all the of all the problems, see they don't. They want men to leave when it comes to taking accountability and and suffering the backlash for the decisions. But then they want to have a say in the decisions to stop the say in the accountability that comes with it. That's the problem, and that's not entirely women's fault. A lot of that is the men being weak. But the problem is, in society today you can't be a strongman in the marriage without being called toxic without getting divorced without getting called out for behavior that's actually supposed to be good. That's the problem. And that's why we have this biblical bachelor lifestyle over here because not because I hate marriage or because it's I think it's evil, but because we don't live in a society, in a system that supports this type of marriage that he's talking about. It doesn't, which is why you see the behavior in him that you see. He's not masculine. He's he's bending forward like this. He's wearing a masculate and he's always referring to her and asking her to lead subconsciously. And This is why we see these weakness and why a lot of men would rather listen to guys like Andrew Tate than guys like him. Now, I'm not saying he's right about everything or wrong about everything, and we could keep going down this line. I've worked almost 25 minutes in not only bulking down like 8 minutes of this video. Why? Because it's so packed with problems that we see in the modern day, the passing of the blame, the pastors passing the blame to men acquitting the women of of problems and making this and like men and The Dirty dogs. When in fact, it's the women out here who are sleeping with with the top percentage of men and the average guy is left out. We did a video yesterday, actually. No, it was released today when I'm recording this video. But a guy who was a Christian guy who was in, he was a in a ministry. Being single for six years, talking about how he was a good man and wanting a good woman and he didn't go to night clubs. He didn't go to bars, he didn't go and participate in hookup culture. And what is he? What is he doing right now? He's single, he has nobody who's interested in him and he's doing everything right. He's following advice from guys like this. And what is he getting for it? Nothing. Nothing. But of course. But of course it's men's fault, right? No, it's not. No, it's not. And This is why I say the passers are passing the blame. But then we don't want to call a spade a spade, because at the end of the day it hurts people's feelings and people get upset and they get **** hurt and they want to make about their feelings and not the facts of the issue at hand. And I don't accept that. And I don't think you should either. My friends, please let me know what you think. Do you want to hear more? You want to breakdown this video even more? I will happy to do it. But if I broke down this entire video, this probably probably be a 2 hour clip, 2 hour video, so I'll leave it there. Out with Matt Chandler, shout to him. I've never met him in person. I'm sure he's probably a good. Enough. Guy, but I think he's wrong with a lot of the things he says. I know this is older clip. I doubt he's changed very much because most people don't change very much when they reach a certain age. But my friends, if you want to hear more about this, I'm happy to break down this video more or. Do more things like this. Let me know what you think and please leave your comments. Please think for yourself. Do your own research. Don't just be a sheep. I encourage you to think for yourself and not just. Be goofy and listen to just one person that includes. Just listen to me. I don't think you should listen to me. You should listen to all kinds of people and listen to yourself and form your own opinion. My friends, take care of yourselves. I'm out of here. Peace.